#fuck you kim dokja

[pyrox39]

Kim dokja

[theofficialuriel]

Kim Dokja having never felt parental love after his mother’s arrest and having been neglected (and maybe abused) by his foster home.

Lee Gilyoung having never felt parental love after his parents’ death and having been neglected (and maybe abused) by his aunt.

Kim Dokja taking Lee Gilyoung in after the first scenario and giving Lee Gilyoung a parental figure to look up to.

Lee Gilyoung feeling parental love for the first time since his parents and attaching himself to that figure.

Kim Dokja abandoning him time and time again, either through actually leaving or getting himself killed. Kim Dokja clearly favoring Shin Yoosung and Biyoo over Lee Gilyoung. Kim Dokja being simultaneously the most present and most absent parental figure on his life.

Lee Gilyoung finally getting used to Kim Dokja’s constant disappearing and reappearing act… only for his Hyung to never reappear again.

[hiruseki]

god i seriously am never getting over That Scene in orv. kim dokja has so little compassion for himself that the only thing he can think to do upon being confronted with the most powerless, frightened, vulnerable version of himself is to try and murder it with his own hands. even when everyone is sobbing and begging him to stop, even when everyone has already forgiven him without reservation, even when yoo motherfucking pilgrim of the apocalypse joonghyuk cannot muster any animosity, kdj will not stop trying to convince them this trembling little boy needs to die. it had been well established by that point that kdj is self destructive and self loathing, but he was good at maintaining some emotional distance from his actions. but the moment he steps off that train, recognizes his own drawings, realizes what's happened, that impassive veneer shatters and he becomes desperate and vicious. this man hates himself so much. seriously, can you imagine how it must have felt to be oldest dream? you're an abused, lonely, depressed child. profoundly alone in this world, betrayed by everyone you've ever loved. you are so frightened of everything you can't bear to live in reality. you meet yourself from the future, but even he has no sympathy for you. no, he hates you. he hates you so much he wants to kill you. he would point a broken sword at his own throat if it meant he could erase you. you don't know what you did wrong. you never do. all you can do is cower from the monster and hope he doesn't get you.

like it's so fucked up. orv is so fucked up.

[iunsei]

my orv reading experience

[orviposition]

godddd how can ppl just continue to remain sane after thinking about yoohankim for more than 10 seconds tis beyond me to comprehend

yoo joonghyuk, warned by kim dokja himself that if you want to meet me and learn your reason for existing is to save my life you will have to regress and relive the apocalypse hell for 1864 times. you will break, you will get depressed, you will forget why you started this to begin with. and all yoo joonghyuk said was "I hope you continue to exist somewhere too"

han sooyoung, warned by dokkaebi king (fourth wall) that if you want to enter the 41st worldline and get kim dokja back you will die because your death has been recorded on the wall and you will forget we ever had this meeting, and all han sooyoung said was "If this is the probability needed for you to come back then..."

[its-your-mind]

I’m sorry I need to talk about this for a second

This part right here. When Nirvana tries to use Thought Infection on Kim Dokja. And this ability that absolutely neutralized Yoo Joonghyuk, Min Jiwon, and Yoo Sangah…

just…

bounces right off.

and it’s set up like this big badass moment. Kim Dokja saves the day again. Kim Dokja can face down anyone. He’s more powerful than every other incarnation and constellation, no matter how much foreknowledge they have.

But honestly?

It kinda just makes me sad.

yjh is incapacitated by the Eternal Nightmare ability because of all the awful things he’s seen and experienced, yes.

But as we know from 1863, happy memories can be much more debilitating for him than sad ones. And while he’s only got 1-2’s memories right know, we know that 2 had some incredibly happy memories to pass on, memories that make the losses that much harder to take.

And Min Jiwon?

Of course she doesn’t actually want to visit a spa while her friends and troops are dying. But can you blame her for having some deep craving for comfort and relaxation right now?

But for Kim Dokja…

The Fourth Wall isn’t just protecting kdj from the negative effects of the skill. It’s not hiding his secret desires, or absorbing his emotions.

It is literally preventing him from experiencing the world around him as reality. Not just because it feels improbable or surreal, but because it is literally keeping him separate from the world around him. On a fundamental level, he does not believe he is truly present in this time and space.

This is derealization and dissociation on an unbelievably intense scale.

“If we’re just characters, why did you die for us so many times?”

Why wouldn’t he? He’s not here, not really. He’s just Reading this story, no matter how much sway he’s been having over what has happened. All of that is just his work as a Reader hoping to see the Epilogue of his favorite novel.

“It was a really great story, isn’t that right?”

Narratively satisfying. A twist ending. A fate that subverted expectations.

An Epilogue worth Reading. Not touching, not feeling, not joining, not creating. Just watching. From a distance away. From behind glass. Through the cracks in a wall.

After all, a story can’t exist without a writer, a protagonist, and a reader. Only two of them truly participate in creating the story. But when you’re the Reader, it’s always worth reading the story again. And again. And again. And again. And again ,

[lifeof-pink]

i think the way the book became 3rd person pov when kim dokja got off the train is one of the most fucking genius literary moves ive seen in years

[boombams]

mothers love

[hsyliker]

kdj would be like ohhh god being a worm would be unbearable. i am so humiliated rn. i think i will kill myself again. meanwhile yjh would put him in a jar with leaves and a twig and go on a grand quest to find the most epic & delicious compost for his worm diet. is this anything.

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

[pyrox39]

I find the fight during the 10th scenario very interesting because the whole fight revolves around kim dokja's fate that he will be killed by the person he loves most and most of the stuff I've seen about that fate is that it was talking about yoo joonghyuk which makes sense because he was the one to get the kill but in reality it was really the whole of kimcom that killed him because it's not a single person that he loves most but the companions he made and it was his love for his companions that killed him which makes the fact that he forced them to kill him so much more tragic. Then there's the fact that after he died that's when he got his modifier of demon king of salvation and I feel like the connection that his modifier is about how he always saves kimcom in the cruelest ways possible but I find it tragic that he gets the modifier after his most cruel example of him doing that because he literally forced all of them to kill the person they care about most and there is nothing more cruel than that.

[theofficialuriel]

was trying to angst about orv but then I remembered that several gods and goddesses participated in shipwar culture

[slow-reader-reads-books]

Not me getting in my jiuyuan feels looking through a Chinese-English dictionary and seeing 救援 [jiùyuán] meaning "to save/to assist/to support" and the example sentence given is "天主是我们的救援。”，牧师说 [tiān zhû shì wômen de jiùyuán, mùshī shuō] aka '"God is our salvation," said the priest'

Uuhhghsjk 🥺

[skylark325]

fuck this shit everyone who voted I WANT A FUCKING REFUND OF MY FEELINGS CUZ WHAT THE FUCK YALL

[orviposition]

isn't it a little messed up that in orv your story is you. your soul. your sense of self. your life. and your relationships

isn't it a little fucked up that yoo joonghyuk thought that his story came to an end when the lone reader went away. that his life ended when kim dokja left. save me from this hell

[fiftypiercings]

married joongdok but not in a conventional way because dokja returns home at 3 in the morning, fucking wasted, probably smelling like incompetence and regrets. an intoxicated migraine brewing up while he's trying his best to reach the kitchen for a glass of water in the dark but then there's joonghyuk standing ominously in the path with a knife and lighter in his hands, the trashcan's on fire and cell block tango is playing somewhere in the background.