#fuck you im gonna fill in canon myself
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Its really late but i just keep thinking about how Deena never interacts with her siblings in the entirety of both the nexomon games
Like-WE WERE ROBBED!!!!!!
SO YOUR TELLING ME-everytime the MC encounters one of the Champions with Deena around they DIDNT NOTICE HER??????
NOT EVEN A PASSING GLANCE OR GREETING??????
BLASHEMY
No heres MY personal crackpot headcannon
So during the War between Humans and Nexomon when Deena began to sympathise with humanity Omnicron began to notice and got angry (ObViOuSlY) and actually kicked her out of the group and disowned her, and then made everyone else reject her as well-OR EVEN BETTER tricked them to think she left of her own volition
And because most of the champions are just being revived in N1 thats why they act like they dont know her
#fuck you im gonna fill in canon myself#AND ALSO GRUNDA Or ULRICH was the ONLY ONE WHO DIDNT WANT TO COMPLETELY CUT CONTACT WITH HER#And after N1 they would get in contact again⥠somehow#and around that time he decides to work for that orphanage caring for kids#AND ALSO#i also have a theory-more like a headcanon honestly#that Metta was made directly after Nara was run out by the champions cause i think its funny#like he doesnt even KNOW he has a sister-and thats why he never makes any attempts to make her join the champions during N1#like-dont you think he would try to harness her power to help resurrect omnicron? AND THAT MEANS THAT OMNICRON WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH STRONGER#IF SHE ALSO GAVE UP HER POWER >:]#<- that last point is unrelated to whatever im talking abt i just like making badguys stronger :>#AND ALSO THE CHAMPIONS WERE REALLY HURT BY HER LEAVING cause they used to be closeâĄ#and when she left they stopped talking about her cause it hurt too bad andALSO THATS ANOTHER REASON AS TO WHY METTA WOULDNT TRY TO RECRUTE H#<- sorry guys im kinda going insane#nexomon#nexomon deena#nexomon nara#My HeadcanonsâĄ#not art
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How about a sunset shimmer x fem reader who has worse anger issues than sunset? If thatâs okay!
YEHSHDJJDD OMG TUMBLR IS GETTING ON MY NERVES WHEN IT DELETES MY STORIES
-NOT PROOFREAD
-GAYNESS
-READER X CANON
-READER GETS POSSED TF OFF WHEN A SERVER GIVES SUNSET ATTITUDE
-THIS MAY BE REALLY SHORT CUZ IM WRITING TIS AT 1 AM
ââââââââââââââââââââââ
"ENOUGH !!"
SUNSET SHIMMER
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
Today me and Sunset We're Going Out today and it was just a two of us having a really good time.We went to the city and Had a good Time, we just looked around. You know, looked at the shop and went to Famous places learned about the history of have Canterlot and just had a good time. We walked around and we reached to the park and we sat down the bench and just talked about things. Lay on in our lives. We talked about how school's been sort of a struggle, but we managed and we just struggle a lot of things like our own relationship with friendships and school work in general, but we're promise each other that we would help each other out one. We need at the most. So after the park we decided we were hungry and we decided that we should go and find Somebody. We headed to this little ice cream shop that seemed really cute and seems to have nice cool Icecreams donuts cakes and stuff that will fill our appetite. We walked into the shop and we sat in a little booth on the left. We our menus being thrown at us. We didn't even really hear what the server had said since he just Abruptly left us without without saying really anything "What was up with him??" Sunset asked and glanced st the menu I glare din his direction before looking back at Sunset "I'm not sure but he wa pretty rude to really saying anything not even a hello.." I said and sunset looked a me with a worried filled face "Hey relax maybe he's just having a bad day no biggie." I look back with a smile and shook the rude boy off my mind and glanced at the menu "I'm gonna have a /favorite ice cream/ with /favtoppings/!!" I exclaim and sunset chuckles "Your starting to sound alot like pinkie, I'm gonna have a rocky road with sprinkles" I laugh again and the boy comes back "So what do you want today." He asks with a quite rude tone I was taken aback and had the strongest urge to lose my temper but I kept my temper "Um.. I'm gonna have /fav icecream and toppings/ and she's gonna have a rock road with sprinkles!" I say acting sweet to avoid losing my temper and sunset nods in agreement and the dude just snatches the menus "Whatever your order will be done in a few minutes. " and he walls away I roll my eyes and sunset just rests her hand on top of mines and shakes her head "Relax love.."
After we finish our food and left the check leaving no tip, we left the store with un Happiness, due to his rude behavior he can't of us very disrespectful and the way he served ice cream to the point it would melt entirely. We couldn't have finished in time if we didn't hurry up and eat the ice cream it would have started to melt faster. Me and sunset were just about to leave the store when he comes out of nowhere and pull sunset back "Where's my tip!??" He yells I pull sunset back and get in his face "Your not getting a tip you know I've been really patient with you but here's something you should learn, maybe if you weren't Fucking rude you would have a tip, l it your fucking grimey ass hands on my girlfriend again and I'll personally make it a mission to make sure you never have anymore hands again.""ENOUGH!!" Sunset shouts and I look back and the boy runs away in fear sunset drags me outside the shop and she looks back at me angrily "What was that y/n!??" She yells and I look down to the floor "I wasn't gonna let him disrespect you like that.." Sunset sighs and pulls me into a hug "I can take care of myself, it should've been the other way around.." I look up at her "Who said??" She laughs and says "Come on let's go home.."
#mlp x reader#my little pony x reader#mlp#x reader#sunset shimmer#Sunsetshimmer#mlp equestria girls#mlp fim#equestrian#equestria girls
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would you like to dump all your thoughts, headcanons, rambles, and yaps about dom? (i luv letting people yap and i love dom)
Y-yeah Iâd like that.
Most of my headcanons and rambles have already been drafted into future posts, so Iâm just gonna yap about them for a lil bit lol.
I genuinely did not expect to get as attached to these twins as I did. Hell, I remember when their beta designs dropped, I thought they looked lame. But then the spin-off came out and I was like âoh, theyâre alright actuallyâ and then I kept rewatching the episode because Iâm cripplingly addicted to this show and slowly I just grew more and more fond of them. Dom specifically. (Fayeâs amazing too but Dom hits different.)
And then the second episode came out, and I started thinking more and more about them, which spiraled into a million headcanons and a whole damn backstory and my gallery looking like this-
And I basically did to them what I did to Drew: I took all the pieces canon gave me and filled in the rest with my imagination to make two little scrimblos I can more easily write about and analyze. (Normal things hot girls do.â¨)
And I find it funny how Dom has managed to capture my attention just as much as Drew has, when heâs probably a character Drew would bully like RELENTLESSLY. (I have two scenarios of this: one being Drew calling Domâs sweater stupid and childish while Domâs like âAt least mines not all plain and basic!â and then they argue for like two minutes OR Drew actually gets to something Domâs insecure about or says something like âOh my God, could you shut up for once in your life? No one fucking cares what you have to say. Youâre annoying and if you spent the rest of life with your mouth glued shut I doubt anyone would care. Itâd be better off for everyone.â And Dom actually goes silent and then heâs like REALLY hesitant about saying anything for two weeks- wait I made myself sad writing that FUCK.)
ANYWAYS I genuinely donât really know WHY Iâm so attached to Dom right now. Heâs literally just a carrot, with about 5 minutes of screen time. Half of his lines are about squirrels and birds, and yet Iâd trade my DAMN SOUL for him. HEâS SO FUCKING CUTE. (Maybe itâs because of the lack of backstory and relative mystery. I love me a character I gotta piece together like a puzzle. Or maybe itâs his voice Ireallylikehisvoice-)
But yeah, Iâm obsessed with him and it makes me really sad how Iâve barely been able to find any content of him. Like thereâs literally no fanfiction, and barely any art. Which I guess makes sense, theyâre supporting characters with not much to them, but still, it makes me sad. (BUT IM WORKING TO CHANGE THAT WITH MY FANFIC WIPS AND DRAWING DRAFTS!)
And it sucks too, because I doubt theyâre gonna play much of a role in S2. Theyâre probably gonna fade into obscurity, and Iâll never be able to learn about their backstories or potential mental issues. (Which I ALSO HAVE A POST ABOUT-)
I think going forward, Iâm gonna try and post a little more about Dom and Faye, at least for now. Iâm still Drew blog obviously, Drewâs still my personality unfortunately, but I really want to try and use my blog to sort of promote them, I guess? I want to share what I see in them, and I want to feed the Dom and Faye fans that are just as starved as me.
Anyways TLDR: I just like Dom a lot. He deserves the world. (I say as I discreetly shove him into the blender of suffering turn it onto high.)
#tmf#the music freaks#freakblr#tmf dominic#tmf dom#thank you thank you thank you for asking this omg#im glad u like dom too I have like five drafts of him I need to post
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It is time for the rambling I have been ominously foreshadowing!! Hyperfixation yapping under the cut, you have been warned!!! Iâm really sorry for all this, once the floodgates are opened Iâm never gonna be able to shut up
Yeah thatâs right itâs time to expose everything. Let us begin with an exposition-filled history lesson! September 29th, 2017. Around 7 years ago now. On this day, the first pages of a pokemon fan comic were posted to tumblr, and to deviantartâkeep this tucked away in the back of your mind, this will be somewhat important later on.
This comic followed not the canon of the games, but of the anime. And I hate the anime with a burning passionâwell, pre-season 26 anyway, but thatâs besides the point. This comic, however, focused much more heavily on team rocket and their backstories, sort of as a way to fill in the gaps and such that the show never explained, which is something I donât hate thaaaat much (in fact such things are a huge inside joke between me and my friends) sooooo yea
Now DO NOT WORRY!! you have to know absolutely nothing about pokemon to understand what Iâm about to start yapping about! In fact, I myself tend to actually forget itâs a pokemon fan comic, itâs become so much more to me. But we will get to that later on. Point is, itâs not important to know the ins and outs of the context behind the comic itself. All you need to do is bear with me as I attempt to explain everything and why I am so insane
Back to the comic though!!! Itâs title is Roots!!! Hence the weird-ass bug fables dialogue I posted to foreshadow all this. heehehehee yeeeees roots my beloved. It was all posted on a now-deactivated tumblr account (again, keep this tucked away in the back of your head) and was posted from, as I said previously, September 29th, 2017, to December 15th, 2018, spanning 167 pages. It was relatively popular at the time I think? Itâs bit hard to say but it peaked at around 400-500 notes at the highest and averaged around 75 notes per updateâat least on tumblr, I canât speak to how popular it was on deviantart
ANYWAY the actual story or quality of the comic isnât really important to this rambling. I mean yeah I have some VERY strong opinions on it, both good and bad (THERE IS ONE CHARACTER WHO I WOULD KILL. I WOULD CURB STOMP HER SHE MAKES ME SO ANGRY SHE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY AND SHEâS WRITTEN SO TERRIBLY. SHEâS NOT THAT BAD IN CANON I THINK BUT IN ROOTS I WOULD SLAP HER. I WOULD SLAP HER SO MUCH. I LIKE CHARACTERS WHO WERE MEANT TO BE TOTAL ASSHOLES MORE THAN HER), and if I could make a 100 page essay digging into every last detail of it, down to the most minuscule details that do not matter in the slightest, I would, but thatâs not really what this is about. Itâs not necessary to explain the plot, and. Um. Admittedly, despite roots being my number one top hyperfixation for almost a year now I doooooonnnnâtttt really know how well I understand the plot. THERE IS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION THERE IS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION, I READ A LOT OF IT OUT OF ORDER AND WAS MISSING A LOTTA IMPORTANT CONTEXT WITHOUT REALIZING IT!! I AM NOT A FAKE FAN IM JUST STUPID BUT UH point is itâs not really important. What is important, above all else, are the characters!!!
Being a fan-comic, a vast majority of the characters are preexisting characters from canon. And therefore a lotta the characters Iâm not all too attached to. There are, however, a couple of original characters thrown into the mix to either fill in gaps or to move the story along. And I love them. Like actually love them so much. Frankly theyâre my favorite part of it they are SO funny and perfect and yeah. I will immediately forgive any shortcomings in the story itself when I remember that THE CHARACTERS EXIST, OOOOOOO I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUUUUUCHHHUHhh. I want to yap about them all so much but I donât have the time actually no screw it I am unable to stop talking, I swear Iâll make this quick tho
ok ok ok comin in at number 3 is my girl belle. she does nothing. seriously she is just there as a plot device and then she immediately disappears but I love her. she is constantly apathetic and pissed off at everyone and is just there for easy money. she is a mood. Sheâs also a horrible fucking person, so thatâs an automatic plus in my eyes. what a queen (SHEâS NOT A QUEEN SHE IS ACTUALLY SO HORRIBLE) (ACTUALLY NO IâM DOUBLING DOWN. WHAT A QUEEN)
comin in at number 2 is KURT!!! uhhhhhhhhhh dude I dunno lmao I just think heâs neat heâs a pathetic creature and everyone is so mean to him for no reason. he was the target of ABLEIST HARASSMENT from the WORST CHARACTER. kurt deserves the world. he wears suspenders! And, surprisingly, he is Not A Horrible Person. most of my favorite characters are (yall should know this by now, my pfp is Louie) so he is unique in that regard
comin in at number one is of course the man the myth the legend pumpkin daddy. That is not his real name but that leads us to the next point. I will GET TO HIM LATER even if just briefly, he deserves his own paragraph because pumpkin daddy was the start of this all as you will now see:
Fast forward in time to July 15th, 2022. At the time had no idea that this comic existed, which makes sense. Iâve never been a huge fanfic reader nor did I have a tumblr account then, so really I had no way of knowing of its existence. But that would soon change!!! It was the last day of vacation, and instead of taking full advantage and enjoying the last remaining day I had, I was instead doing who knows what. Nah really I dunno what I was doing. Clearly I was doingâŚsomething, probably falling down some rabbit hole of random content, because I ended up stumbling across, you guessed it, Roots. Now, as I mentioned before, the original posterâs account was deactivatedâsame with their deviantart. Buuuuut thankfully with the way tumblr works, reblogs of posts still exist even when the original poster deactivates. So even though it was almost completely wiped, the reblogs remained. And so on that fateful day, I stumbled upon a reblog of this comic. One specific page to be exact. Just one very out of context page. And admittedly I thought nothing of it. Yeah I didnât have some grand fascination or anything when I first stumbled across it I just saw it and thought âhuh okâ and moved on. There was however one small detail that caught my attention. It only caught my attention for like a second but it was long enough to be ingrained into my memory. And for my little peanut sized monkey brain to manage to find it funny
As you will remember from what I wrote previously, while most of the characters were preexisting characters from canon, ones I could recognize easily, there was one character in this specific page I was looking at that I did Not Recognize because he was one of the original characters made to fill gaps in the plot! More specifically it was the back of his head! And nothing else! So I had no clue who this fella was! But what I DID know his that he looked like a DAMN PUMPKIN!!!!!
AHAHAHAH SEE!!!! HE LOOKS LIKE A PUMPKIN !!! SORTA!!! and I found that funny so I dubbed this mysterious figure âpumpkin daddy.â And then I stopped caring about it all immediately after. I mean sure I would occasionally remember pumpkin daddy and giggle a bit at the weird-ass pumpkin lookinâ guy, in fact I developed some lore in my head for the guy, but I couldnât care less about the actual context behind all of it.
Fast forward once again to August of last year, 2023. By that point Iâd read some fanfic, mostly to try to find the weirdest and most obscure i could, as I found those sort of fics incredibly fun (hell, me and my brother still reference some of them sometimes). looking back itâs unsurprising im such a sucker for writing crack/joke fics but anYWAY thatâs useless exposition, what Iâm getting at is that I absolutely adore obscure fanfics. theyâre so awesome SO back to what I was saying, in August last year, I remembered pumpkin daddyâs existence. And I had the sudden thought, what the hell is up with pumpkin daddy anyway? So I figured, eh, what the heck, Iâll read the full tale of pumpkin daddy, sounds fun. Maybe I can find out the actual context behind that weird-ass pumpkin guy.
At the time I didnât know the actual name of Roots, again I saw only a second of it and the only thing that stuck was the, as I called it verbatim, âweird pumpkin daddyâ so I nicknamed it âpumpkin daddyâs book club.â I decided I would read it in October because eh, you know, pumpkins, spooky, Halloween, whatever. And so it was settled, I would find the actual comic behind this weird pumpkin daddy, and come October, I would read it. I thought nothing of it. I thought itâd take me what, a week tops, to read it all?
I was incredibly wrong in that assessment! Spoiler alert, it has been almost a full year since I started reading Roots, and Iâm still not fully finished with it! You will understand why it has taken so long shortly.
So!!! I eventually combed through old tumblr blogs for hours so I could scrape up all of the pages through reblogs. It was torturous but I did manage to get all the pages of it. At least I thought so!!! I must interrupt this riveting story to mention that I was, unfortunately, mistaken in the assumption that the pages were all there. I was positive I had gotten all the pages, but what I didnât realize at the time was that I DID NOT!!! I most definitely did not, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize I was wrong. If youâll think back, I mentioned before that Roots wasnât just posted on tumblr, but also on deviantart. A completely dead deviantart account, no archives that I could find, nothing. That comes into play because I didnât realize at the time that, in reality, not all of the pages were posted to tumblr. There were quite a few pages that were only on deviantart for whatever reason. The deviantart was linked in the tumblr posts, but it all lead to a dead end. I didnât realize this for, like I said, an awfully long time, especially considering just how much of an expert I touted myself (and still tout myself but perhaps this time with more merit) to be on Roots. The thing is I was desperate not to spoil anything while finding the pages initially, I was spending hours copying and pasting them into a document, I wasnât paying attention to see if any of the posts said âthe rest of this chapter is on deviantart.â How I never realized there were gaps in the storyâŚ? Chalk it up to naivety, or more accurately stupidity, I just thought it was bad writing. Oh, this plot point was never explained? How weird. Yeah it was explained actually genius!! Looking back my logic makes zero sense but eh you live and you learn. But essentially, there were quite a few pages that were, thanks to only being posted to the now-dead deviantart, completely lost media!!! Yippee!!! I will get back to this point later, but for now:
October 3rd 2023, I started reading Roots, and Iâll be honest I expected it to be absolutely horrible!! I was NOT optimistic because from the little I knew about it, it did NOT seem like my kind of story!!! Spoiler alert though, I was wrong!!! Very wrong!!! I immediately had a grand old time reading it and I spent like the next hour or two reading and analyzing the first couple pages. Like REALLY analyzing them down to the smallest of details.
And this is where an important cutoff happens, probably the most important part of all of this in fact, so pay attention!!! Aaaaa the difference between pumpkin daddyâs book clubâor as Iâd begun to abbreviate it, PDBCâand Roots.
Whatâs the difference, you may be wondering, they both refer to the same comic, donât they? Technically thatâs true but to try to explain it the best I can, PDBC was âmy version,â while roots was the âactual version.â So what the hell does that mean? The prime example of that concept is pumpkin daddy himselfâobviously thatâs not his real name. Heâs not a pumpkin. Nothing of what I assigned to âpumpkin daddyâ was true of the actual character. But he was technically still that original character, just twisted beyond belief until heâs something totally different. So, essentially, pumpkin daddy was âmy versionâ of the actual character. Get it? Probably not, but pretend you do and now picture that on a much wider scale. Everything in roots I had my own version of, the âPDBC version.â Every place, character, every slightest detail I would take and change until it was something completely different. Yall remember the briar zome? I was talking about it the other day. You probably will not be surprised the learn that there is nothing of the sort, no weird eyeball creatures, in roots. That is a pumpkin daddy thing.
I. Uh. tried to make a visual example but I think I just made it more confusing
So like. PDBC is just a horribly misshapen version of roots. technically theyâre the same thing but at the same time theyâre so different by a certain point that theyâre not, you know? Iâm not making sense lmao UH BUT YEAH itâs like. That. Tldr:
Roots and PDBC are NOT the same thing, Roots is the actual comic while PDBC is my goofy nonsense loosely based on it. When I say roots I am strictly talking about the actual comic, when I say PDBC I am strictly talking about. Well. PDBC.
Understood? Probably not!!! But screw it yall think I came here to make sense?? Iâm here to just talk about things NOBODY cares about!!! YAYYYYY
So, this lasted for months. Iâd read a page or two when I got the chance (you must understand I was not just READING it I was STUDYING it. Every last word and brush stroke. This is not a hobby this is a LIFESTYLE) and whilst doing so Iâd use that time to develop my own versionâwhich eventually became so different and so fun to write that I genuinely considered changing some aspects and working it into my own story. Which I probably couldâve, reallyâby the second month, my version was so vastly different that I sometimes forgot that things that happened in my version Did Not Happen in the actual story. Buuuut the problem was, the characters. While everything else could be, and had been, changed in my version, those original characters created for the fic were so integral to my version that even just changing their name would ruin it. And if thereâs one thing I cannot do for the life of me, itâs take something thatâs not mine as my own. Even if itâs just random-ass characters from a fic from 7 years ago. So I dropped the idea. Pumpkin daddyâs book club would never really come to fruition.
And I will INTERRUPT before we get to the next part of this in order to go on a tirade how much this damn comic means to me ok??? ok!!! I do not think simply going over the basic timeline of how I stumbled across Roots does it justice, I really gotta get into how much it truly means to me. This is not just a random thing I did a deep dive into this is a HYPERFIXATION. It means the WORLD to me yall have no idea. Spending the day outside reading it while simultaneously making my own story was (and still is) my favorite thing to do, like ever. And tbh at a certain point just how much happiness it brings me overrides any sense of embarrassment that this obscure comic of all things is my number one favorite thing ever. I love roots so much ok ok I mean ok listen first of all it got me out of the constant loop of being afraid of being perceived as âcringe.â At a certain point I was having too much fun writing fanfic of a fanfic and I just totally let go of any kind of internalized judgement for doing what I find fun and that was SO FREEING!!! I wonât even say that I am cringe but I am free because Iâm NOT CRINGE, Iâm just free!!! There is no such thing as cringe and this comic helped me realize this, because I avoided any fanfic like the plague for the longest time but then there I was having the time of my life reading one with zero regrets. Is it always perfect? no. are there parts I donât like? yeah (COUGH COUGH THE ROMANTIC SUBPLOTS BUT THATS JUST BC IâM AROMANTIC (ALSO THAT ONE CHARACTER BUT SHE MIGHT BE REDEEMABLE I DONT KNOW BUT I ALREADY AM TOO PISSED AT HER TO EVER CARE IF I WAS MISSING IMPORTANT CONTEXT BEFOREHAND). But is it my favorite thing ever and I love it with all my heart and I always will? YEAH!!! I LOVE ROOTS/PDBC YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! it also got me back into making comics because I actually stopped genuinely working on any for a long time because I was so caught up in perfectionism and fear of being genuine in my work. But roots cured that fear of mine too!!! And now I love making comics again!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Insanity over back to what I was saying. This lasted until March of this year. Why it took so long, I ended up spending more time developing my own story than reading the actual one. Yeah uh. My version, PDBC, is a heck of a lot longer and more complicated than Roots itself at this point (theres this one whole-ass time/interdimensional theory I had to come up with just so I could make a canon explanation for a joke that I wanted to make that wouldnât otherwise make logical sense, it is safe to say that PDBC has strayed very far from its, pardon my pun, roots) Anywaayyyyys going back to December, thatâs when I realized I was missing pagesâabout 25 (ermm actually I found out the last 7 were missing in December, I realized a whole bunch of others were missing in early May) Obviously I was pissed off that I had spent so much time trying to gather all of it up only to realize I was missing so much of it but I gave up even attempting to find them pretty quickly.
A couple months later though, in March, I thought back to those pages. I realized just how much of roots was still a total mystery to me. The author disappeared from the internet, it seemed nobody cared to ever find those pages that were lost mediaâthere was one Reddit thread acknowledging their existence but I donât believe anyone ever took the time to actually find the missing pages, and if they did they didnât archive them, at least not that Iâm aware of. Could be wrong on thatâand in general it was justâŚfascinating to me. So, with no more pages to read, I set out to uncover what the hell was up with roots, and above all else, perhaps find the missing pages (though I wasnât very optimistic about that. like. At all. I was convinced it completely impossible)
Thankfully I had a couple of ideas on where to start. There were a couple tumblr accounts tagged in the final chapter of roots credited as helping in some way. A lot either inactive or completely deactivated, but it was a start.. I was determined above all else to get those final pages, if not just any sort of information on roots as a whole. I wasnât particularly interested in finding the authorâI mean, I think digging that deep into someone who I knew nothing about was creepy at best, so I didnât bother looking into that.
I started with someone who would definitely be my best help. They had all the pages, at least did at a time. I knew that for a fact. But alas my luck was already out, as they were completely inactive, and had been for years. I sent a message nonetheless but I of course never got a response.
My next attempt was a bit more successful. The next person I asked responded, but they didnât know anything. I stopped trying for a few weeks due to just general life stuff going on, I really didnât have the energy to worry about all that. And frankly I had just given up, it all seemed pretty impossible. But I eventually pulled myself together and vowed to keep trying.
So I sent off three more messages to people who might have information. One of them never responded (once again, that account was mostly inactive), two of them did. The first to respond didnât have the pagesâthey echoed my sentiment of the pages being seemingly lost to time. They did, however, point me towards the original authorâs instagram.
I will not pretend that I was normal about this at all!!! I was freaking tf out, Iâll be honest. Half out of excitement that I could actually figure something out, half out of OH FUCK OH FUCK I DONT WANT TO BOTHER THIS PERSON TO ASK ABOUT SOME COMIC FROM 7 YEARS AGO OH NO NO
I did eventually calm down enough to think rationally and despite my crushing anxiety I decided that Iâd worked too hard to give up the second I had an actual lead. I spent the next couple days preparing myself mentallyâand reading the authorâs current work, which is actually REALLY really good like dang I immediately became invested in itâand I eventually sent off a message. A message filled with barely disguised fangirling and incessant apologizing for being annoying but uh. It was a message! And wouldnât you know it by some miracle I got a response back
NOOOW aside from the basic art and writing advice they gave me and other such words of wisdom that I will forever cherish, the most important things that happened during that correspondence was that, for whatever reason, the original creator gave me full permission to do whatever I wanted with the characters they made for roots. This came totally out of left field, I didnât think I implied in the slightest that I desperately wanted full ownership of their characters (though deep down I did) and yet when I mentioned how much I liked the characters they were just like âoh yeah you can use them, do whatever you want with them theyre all yours.â I was BEYOND ecstatic (putting it mildly, I nearly broke my headphones when I read the message because I tripped and dropped them into a deep mud puddle out of shock lmao). The only thing that was stopping me from writing my version in full was that I couldnât change the characters, and in an instant, without even asking, I got full permission to do whatever I wanted. With their full support, too, they were glad that someone was giving their old characters a fresh start. Which is completely insane to me??? But Iâm not complaining I am incredibly happy about it to this day and I am the proud âownerâ of these silly little characters and I can do whatever I want with them heehehehoohoo I have infinite power
But back to the main point, they did send me all of the missing pages. There were 25 I believe. And so finally, after months of trying, I had gotten all of the pages. They all are in one file so now I donât have to scroll for hours through defunct tumblr blogs to scrounge them all up. And look I know itâs such a small thing and really nobody cares about it but I am SO PROUD of myself for finding the lost pages, I love lost media stories so much and it is SO cool to me that I managed to find some lost media, even if it was only partially lost and nobody else was looking for it. Itâs cool to ME and thatâs all that matters, this is my crowning achievement in life. At least I think Iâm the only one who ever cared enough to find them, you never know. I donât actually know if anyone is looking for the lost pages actually, I feel like itâs all been pretty forgotten about which is a shame. But nevertheless if somehow someone out there is ever looking for the entirety of Roots, then I will be hailed as a lost media HERO and I will be expecting a 5 hour youtube documentary with spooky music in the background in my honor. The whole process of finding the lost pages was a lot more complicated than that, but Iâm talking enough already, you do noooot need to hear about the real big steaks, shrek 2, the pikmin 2 boss intro theme, all that good stuff.
So! Pikmin!!! yup this actually ties into pikmin stuff. During the time I was trying to get the missing pages, I passed the time by playing pikmin!!! Thatâs actually how I got into pikmin, I probably wouldnât have played it otherwise. So without roots I would not be the pikmin-obsessed fool I am today. And therefore I wouldnât even have this blog. Which, fun fact, I also started solely to pass the time while waiting to find the pages! Thereâs some more lore behind this blog heehehehehehe. Pumpkin daddy. His name is not actually pumpkin daddy. Obviously. His actual name is Finch!!! Woah!!! sounds familiar doesnât it??? Wonder where youâve heard that before!!!
This blogs mere existence, not just my posts to it, is actually thanks to roots as well. Yeeees itâs Hana bobo finch lore time!! I believe Iâve mentioned in the past that this blogâs name is based on a dream I hadâand if I didnât well, yeah, this blogâs name is based on a dream I had. To be more specific, this blogâs grand origin story is that back in December I dreamt that there was a conspiracy theory called the âHana bobo finchâ conspiracy. I remember nothing more about it except for the name and that, in my dream, there was a huge online discussion on this conspiracy. And so, finding the dream to be funny, I recreated what one of the conspiracy pages in my dream looked like to the best of my abilities. And I actually
I have a screenshot of it from the time so here it is
yyyup this was this here blog right after its creation. Donât ask about the spider monkey pfp thatâs a long story and this is long enough already. I still havenât remembered what the Hana bobo finch conspiracy actually meant in my dream. Maybe the real conspiracy was the friends we made along the way
Also as I said before pumpkin daddy is my favorite character and holy crap could I go into a whole new rant about pumpkin daddy aka finch but I will spare you. You will be thankful that I am sparing you he is SO funny like heâs my favorite character ever heâs such an asshole LMAO he sucks so bad and heâs so funny for no reason I just oughhh yall got no idea you all have no idea ooooooo he is such a terrible person but he does it in the funniest way possible and I truly just can not explain any of it. I believe the best way I can summarize him without making this more confusing than it already is, is that while talking with the author I made them a comic where olâ pumpkin daddy aka finch gets so fucking mad that nobody wants to come to his cookouts because his cooking sucks that he plans to (assumedly) kill everyone, and the author themself said it was remarkably in character. so. do with that what you will FINCH MY BELOVED OOOUGHHHH. FFINCG UUGHH LOVE HIM
So whatâs the point in this entire rant? It is quite simple:
1: I really want to yap
2: I will moooooost likely be yapping abt PDBC soon cause I love it w aaaaall my heart, but itâs real hard to explain it without thousands of words of the backstory to it. soooo yup, here is the backstory. You may or may not be bombarded with PDBC stuff soon. We will see if I have the guts to do so but Iâve already posted abt some of my ocs soâŚwhy not post about everything? (OMINOUS) (THIS IS A WARNING) (IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO ENCOURAGE ME IâM ABOUT TO NEVER STOP TALKING)
n e wayz hereâs the FUNNIEST FUCKING PANEL from all 167 pages of Roots (and fun fact, one of the ones that was almost lost media! Canât believe this masterpiece almost was lost to time smh
HEâS SIZZLING SOMEONE GET HIM DOWNâźď¸
AHAHAHA YEAHhhhhHHHH THAT RIGHT THERE IS PUMPKIN DADDY UP THERE EHEHEHEHEH donât let him down heâs a menace to society
I love this comic so fuckin much I have so much fun reading it and it inspired me to make my own goofy little comics and stuff (UNSURPRISINGLY IT INSPIRED ME TO MAKE HORN STROBE) and it is so funny I quote it so much you have no idea (UNSURPRISINGLY I HAVE QUOTED IT ONCE IN HORN STROBE) and ooooughh guys. Guys this is what you are signing up for when you are my mutual. This is what you have to put up with. I have so much more I could say but I am actively restraining myself because I realize that nobody wants to read 4.5k+ words of this nonsense (tho if you have reached this point you already have, congratulations). though I will still in the future yap about PDBC because I have not spent the past almost full year now making some stupid little story just for me to not yap about it in any way, alright? I can do whatever I want with the characters Iâm not gonna squander this opportunity oooooooooouyghhn guys please ask me about this stuff I need to talk I need to talk I need to talk guys at least pretend to care so I can talk just a little bit I need to be insane on main guys please. GUYS PLEASE. roots my beloved roots my beloved roots my beloved Iâm probably not making sense roots my beloved I love roots so much
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alarmingly long hanahaki au jaya. i hurt jay quite a bit in this. this is a product of 4 straight days of insanity. im SO ILL. ABOUT JAYA. IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE END OF THIS. I COMMEND YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME IN ADVANCE.
once again adapted from a twitter thread. its. like 165 tweets long. yeah. yeah. im lazy so its gonna be mostly copy pasted and lightly edited so if it sounds like im talking to myself I WAS. AND I WAS DOING IT FOR FOUR DAYS.Â
anyways heres the start.
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so hanahaki.... jaya.... season 3...... jay is absolutely the guy who gets hanahaki theres absolutely no doubt about that like absolutely none. but the world building tho... how should i handle it.... i want it to be canon compliantish. and more importantly. when should i give him symptoms. what would be most interesting
sure. i could give him hanahaki after he find out about nyas perfect match. but haha
what if he get petals earlier tho.
he doesnt understand why at first, why jay starts coughing up petals, he and nya are dating and in love. there shouldnt be any reason for it. its not bad yet so he just ignores it really hard or thinks he mustve gotten a weird strain because theres now way he has normal hanahaki because theres No Way! haha
so when he hears the truth there in his parents trailer, the roots around his lungs constrict and he cant tell the pain apart from his heart breaking in two. his chest hurts so much and he sees cole and just goes ballistic
just imagine. what thats like for him. hes mad but its a secondary response to the heartbreak. hes had signs literally inside all along but to actually find out? like this? jay cant take it
haha. the double date would suck so much HAHA. he holds it in through the whole duration of the movie but when its over he vomits full flowers in the bathroom
ive been mulling over the worldbuilding of hanahaki in this au of mine. i thinking i want it to be a departure from the standard hanahaki worldbuilding thats in fics. just slightly. mostly regarding the fatality and maybe treatments........ i think i want jay to have hanahaki the whole time until skybound. and so i think im gonna have to make hanahaki nonlethal. but kinda like chronic pain. if you cant let go of that love
im partially adopting another fics worldbuilding but i like the idea you can recover on your own if you simply fall out of love. its easier and less damaging the earlier you give up on the love. the roots atrophy and fade and theres not that much scarring. you can easily recover
but you know...... its jay. hes not gonna let it go. he cant. he loves nya.... i think he hides his affliction tho... because he knows nya doesnt want to get back together. and he doesnt want to look you know.... pathetic? desperate? overly clingy?
âyou still hasnt gotten over nya?â âdude come on.â âgive it up.â he doesnt want to hear it from the others. because he doesnt want to.Â
but also he wants to save face in front of nya. hes scared itll drive her even further away. his heart cant take more of that. this distance hurts enough
so for months.............. he suffers the pain of one sided love. quietly. pretending that nothing is wrong and that jay is okay with them just being friends. of course jay could choose to surgically remove the hanahaki.... but he doesnt want to do that
i think im gonna keep a bit of the amnesia worldbuilding standard fics have. but im not gonna have it so that artificially removing the hanahaki makes you forget the person you love. no.... just the love that you felt. i think jay doesnt want to lose his love for nya..... also not being able to fall in love with nya scares him. hes just that fucking attached to her. he has it bad man. dude has attachment issues. hes so clingy.Â
anyways. jay chooses to suffer. because hes that badly in love
jay self medicates on over the counter cough suppressants thats meant for the cold and more normal sickness. works surprisingly well. not ideal tho. he also fills his pockets with cough drops and sometimes makes himself sick when he accidentally eats too much on bad days
he gets sick of them. the sweet icky taste and menthol nausea but he doesnt have that many better ways to deal. its just a temporary fix too. considering that coughing is his body's natural way to get rid of the petals. and hes just letting them sit in his lungs
periodically he has to stay hunched over a trashcan to clear out the petals and yes its an awful experience every time. it becomes routine. the petals scratch his throat on the way out and he gets into tea to soothe the irritation. he becomes a regular at mistake's
in general, his ability to breathe starts to decline and he gets winded so much more easily. the plants in his chest limit his airflow and also steals the oxygen from his lungs. his chest is tight always and aches like theres thick needles lodged in his chest. those are the roots
usually its manageable. but it becomes harder to fight. battles usually end up leaving him wheezing. one of the guys teases him about it. that hes slacking and getting out of shape. he sidesteps that convo tho and brushes them off. he certainly cant be honest
im a sadist so im gonna making him pass out after one fairly vigorous battle. one which he has to push himself harder to make it out alive. so hard that his lungs cant keep up with the rest of his body and even when he gets himself to a safe corner or clearing, no amount of breaths is enough and he just blacks out. he eventually comes to a worried face shaking him awake. ill figure out who and when this is set later. either way they just assume jay got knocked out even though they cant find any wounds. theyre relieved he seems fine
but that was very bad. super duper bad for jay tho. he cant let that happen again. but these kinds of things are out of his control tho. but he just has to deal.
things comes to a head in skybound. i think itll be most dramatic if nya finds out in the lighthouse. after she rescues them and they successfully flee. when they settle and in moment jay cant hide he coughs out a gross mass of petals
and nya has a slow step by step realization of the implications. but before all that happens tho. nadakhan. i dont think he knew jay had hanahaki when he first targeted him. maybe. this point might change
but as it is, for the thought i have, nadakhan learns when jays meds wears off, and hes not even able to pop in a cough drop his mouth. and he vomits a messy slurry of petals onto the wooden floorboards of the deck. its EXTREMELY FUNNY to nadakhan, he mocks jay for it! he has hanahaki! that is so tragic! to think jay has known his love was utterly unrequited and yet he tried so hard to win her back. but it was all a hopeless, desperate, pathetic endeavor. so nya truly doesnt love jay, hm? so shes single and free for the taking. no hard feelings, then, when they marry
up on the ship, he coughs up so many flowers. he doesnt get enough sleep from the persistent coughing. and passes out multiple times, for a collection of reasons. from being knocked out, exhaustion, apnea, running out of breath after several matches of scrap n tap
i think it would be really sad and pathetic if there one incident where he chokes on a flower. and he cant cough it out and he thinks gonna die for reals. a pirate helps him out only to add insult to injury (and to torment him more to pull a wish out of him, hes better off alive than dead)
when hes rescued by his friends, theres no flowers around so none of his friends suspect. jay manages to keep the petals in his mouth, catching them behind his teeth, and swallows them back in. he coughs pretty bad but they all think he just got really sick. he looks awful after all
but thats of course only up until the lighthouse. ive been contemplating about how nya handles it all...... how she feels......... what is the most satisfying route here is much more trickier to figure out than just a fixit skybound au.......Â
feelings are trickier and much more loaded........ the revelation certainly isnt going to be an easy thing for nya to swallow..... but lighthouse talk has so much potential....... jay might be honest for once..... because he has to be.... forced to be!
ngl lighthouse part of skybound has been super elevated in my head by favorite skybound fic so my perceptions of it and my own take on it for this au is probably going to be influenced by that. not in the sense im copying scenes but in the sense of like. oh yeah writer IS right, lighthouse ep TOTALLY has the massive potential for big feels and honesty. and revealing trauma/hurt feels. anyways. let me talk a bit about nya and the little dilemma i have.....
so like...... nyas part in the story is so tricky to handle.... because she entirely determines the ending of this story. much more so than in the original canon.....
because the crux of this story is the love between nya and jay... the lack of thereof from nya and the undying love from jay. hanahaki. unrequited love. the story is not just about jay making mistakes and being flawed as a person and being tested as a person and learning and growing his mistakes
in this au, the focus is specifically on his love for nya and how hes willing to hang onto it for so long despite how much it literally hurts him. love hurts. its barely even worth it. but to jay it is. this story is driven by his love. however how it ends all depends on nya.....
and heres the thing.... i know the way the "romance" in skybound was resolved was..... whats the word..... forced? it was insufficiently developed.... i cant recall the exact word i wanna use but it was just. tacked on. nyas change of heart kinda came out of nowhere....
nyas line in the lighthouse before she pushed jay through the portal is honestly inconsistent with her characterization that season up to the point. shes really didnt seem like she loved jay back at all. its entirely because the writers didnt write in those feelings
it takes a bit of creative thinking and interpretation to make jays and nyas get together at the end of the season work. you have to fill in the gaps of the romance yourself if you want it and want it to make sense and have it be satisfying
what i do for my fix it interpretation of canon is that nya didnt actually stop loving jay entirely in s3 breakup arc. instead i choose to think is that nyas desire for independence simply grew stronger enough to eclipse her love for jay
also i like to think nya liked jay more casually than he loves her so it was easier to break off their relationship. if youve seen my dream divorce ot3 slowburn get together break up get together fic (concept) (that only exactly two people know what im talking about). and also string of fate au. ESPECIALLY IN STRING OF FATE AU. then you know. my take on them. ANYWAYS.
the problem i have for this au is that i cant do that. i cant use that same interpretation to have them get together again. it doesnt work. because in this au.........nya really did fall out of love for jay. and having them get together again just like canon isnt.......satisfying
its tricky..... because to make nya fall in love with jay now after she learns he has hanahaki..... if im not careful ill be doing the same thing that the writers are doing. writing a careless romance solely because i want them to be together
and i DO want them to be together again.... but it requires a considerate approach if i really do want it. here..... the situation is this..... nya finds out jays has truly been in love with her for months STILL. and its bad enough he got hanahaki. i think she might feel uncomfortable about that. its unwanted love you know? being the object of someones desires still after you long broke up with them. she has moved on but jay hasnt? its super awkward for her...... but also...............
jay knows that. nya isnt stupid. she realizes that jay knows that and thats exactly why he kept it from her in the first place....... shes also uncomfortable because... jay is suffering because of her. she broke it off with him but its not like she doesnt care about jayÂ
no she still does. jay is still someone important to her. hes not just some ex. hes still a friend.... and her heart aches seeing jay suffer. her heart twists realizing that jay has been suffering this whole time on his own and she had no idea.
and it was out of consideration for her. its not entirely her fault jay has hanahaki..... but also she does feel a little bit responsible. sure jay messed up a lot recently and all of it is because he wanted to get back together with her and she doesnt like that.... but also..
learning about it put some things into perspective for her. like shes uncomfortable but jay has been hurt and is genuinely hurting still and she doesnt want to hurt him more and she wants to be gentle. so she starts thinking first. before she proceeds to deal with feelings
and so she starts really thinking about it. she was mad. she was mad jay kept so many secrets from them and endangered them all. and that he was STILL attached to her after all this time. shes still a little mad about that but also its subsiding a bit now....
if she really thinks about it.... jay had been respecting their break and her boundaries up until recently. in fact she only found out now, months later. jay actually did do a pretty good job of hiding those feelings. and not only that... his hanahaki.
that. she doesnt fucking understand how jay kept that a secret. ITS HANAHAKI. HOW DID HE HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. ITS THE MOST VISIBLE DISEASE. maybe she did notice jay smothering a cough or clearing his throat every so often but to think it was hanahaki this entire time......
....when did it start even...? she can only assume that it was around their breakup. they eventually have a talk. a really important one that jay cant run away from. it takes a bit for jay to be fully honest and tell her that he started spitting petals when they were still together
she becomes mortified by that fact. and what that means. and she gains a bit of perspective of how the perfect match debacle looked from jays perspective. she really was.... a terrible girlfriend during all that huh.... to nya it felt like a clean break..... but to jay.... it left him pretty raw.Â
it didnt hit nya until know how much jay was hurt by the breakup even without considering the hanahaki. jay still loves her despite her cheating on him and making him fight over her because she couldnt decide? it seems that jay doesnt even care about that. doesnt even think she was a terrible girlfriend at the end of their relationship when she very much was. something is deeply wrong with jay (he loves her too much). jay hadnt been the best...... he had been really selfish and self centered. esp with the whole wish thing
but she comes to a realization that she was being really self centered too. its unfair for her to criticize jay for that when the very beginning of it all was because of nyas own selfishness. its unfair for jay to break up over something so stupid like a match making machine
of course part of it was still on jay. he should have still let go. you cant have a relationship in which only one person is in love. but.... she couldve gone about it in a better way. a way that wouldnt have hurt jay so much at the very least
he has apologized for everything involving nadakhan and keeping secrets.... maybe taking on more blame than he should.... nya owes jay an apology too. so at the very least she gives him a proper one. for her own faults
but she doesnt know how to fix jays hanahaki tho...... and to be honest? neither does jay. he tells her this. despite everything he didnt want to force her to love him. he didnt want to guilt her back into a relationship. he didnt want her to give him her pity also
thats part of the reason why he kept it a secret. he wanted to *win* her back. make himself more appealing so that nya would love him again. jay was super misguided in his approach and didnt understand why exactly nya broke up with him in the first place
but thats what he wanted... nyas genuine love. (im ignoring a tiny chip of canon for this. or im considering it a moment of weakness (jays dismay when he learns he cant wish for love). creative interpretation is that seeing his future in the mirror made him too hopeful and a bit desperate) anyways. jay is a hopeless romantic. who is extremely lovelorn. also hes chronically ill like literally. cut him a little slack
anyways anyways. i dont want nya to just get back together with him right after finding out about his hanahaki. its bad romance. it wont taste good. it wont be genuine.........Â
as it is...... of course theres multiple options................ but they arent all happy. and i do feel like. a story like this does need a happy ending..... it would be too sad if it remains unresolved. im just gonna talk about the ends that kinda suck first
most unsatisfying but technically still very plausible end: a standstill. nya cant do anything to help. she wants to but she cant return jays love. jay understands but decides keep living with the hanahaki. the two of them keep living in this awkward status quo, knowing.
eventually jays hanahaki gets too much for him to handle and he either dies or nya/the others take matters into their own hands and without his consent, send him to surgery bc hes dying. unethical maybe but they want him to live
its super awkward after that.... but things return to normal and they all forget about it except for nya, where it lays heavy in her mind forever. if he dies its just tragedy. i dont want this kinda of end
a potential good neutral end however can be one in which jay tries his best to simply move on. try to process his one sided love into something... different somehow. because he accepts that nya has fallen out of love with him. he has long accepted that.
but they talk........... and a lot happens (being pushed into the portal, the rest of skybound). and jay has a realization too. nya may not love him in the same way.... it doesnt mean she doesnt love him. she still cares deeply.....
she cares about him a lot as a friend. that love is still worth something. its..... its more than what jay thought nya felt about him. it honestly felt like their relationship get demoted all the way down back to acquaintances, at best coworkers. not technically. they were still friends. but jay felt a yawning distance between them after the break up. its one part nya distancing herself from jay after that whole disaster. its also another part jay keeping his distance so that nya doesnt learn about his hanahaki
whatever talk between them was either just ninja business, surface level casual conversations, or small talk. it was awkward but only when they dwelled on it... (and jay did dwell on it) but in the lighthouse they actually talk Talked about things... about them. and jay learns
nya sacrifices herself to save jay in the lighthouse and he realizes that he still matters to her. the everpresent tightness in his chest doesnt leave but it.... loosens. and he breathes easier for the first time in a while
he still wishes that nya and him could get together romantically. but something about his feelings changes. he feels less lovelorn somehow. his heart still yearns a little. but somehow he feels more okay. he hurts less
and once time turns back and jay and nya share this secret and finally properly reconcile after everything is done. the pain in his chest abates more and more as time goes on. hes not sure if hes exactly cured. but he can live without hurting now somehow
he learns how to live with his unrequited love. and more importantly he doesnt need his love to be requited anymore. because love is love you know? she doesnt love him romantically but she does still love him. and thats still good
they were always a little mismatched in their feelings for each other anyways. jay isnt settling for lesser. nyas love for him now is just different not less. and jay accepts that. and hes content that they managed to fix them. their relationship. hes okay and happy
his own feelings... he doesnt know if they changed themselves also like nyas has. he doesnt feel like his love has changed. but the nature of it mightve become more ambiguous. and it doesnt matter anyways. he loves nya and that will never change
hmmmm i think this became less of a neutral end and more just an unrequited good end. and accidentally poured so much aro juice into it oh my god? i had a good requited end thought up kinda also before this end i just talked about the end first bc i wanted to talk about requited end last
i kinda came to really like good unrequited end........ im still gonna talk about good requited end tho. i kinda want opinions about which end is narratively the best..... even though i only have a confident audience of two
i think requited end is a bit more dramatic..... nya really doesnt know what to do. she broke it off with jay. she wants to fix him. she really wishes he didnt get hanahaki for *her* of all people....
whats so great about her anyways that he would live like this for months on end be just ok with it. she thinks if she was in jays shoes she would long moved on. she doesnt get what is worth the pain and risk
either way she doesnt want to date him out of pity. she distinctly has a feeling that wouldnt actually fix anything. and probably jay doesnt want that too. but also she cant fabricate love
she feels suffocated by just the prospect and it reminds nya about why she dumped jay in the first place. this whole thing reminds nya why she dumped him. jays love was always too much for her. smothering. of course he gets hanahaki. why is she even surprised. if anyone would, its jay. she doesnt want to resent him for it though. hes hurting because of it. and he spared it from nya up to this point and she only found out because jay couldnt help it. who knows how much longer he wouldve kept this secret
but as is. she doesnt know what to do. so they stay in the lighthouse awkwardly together. they were honest with each other but now what? .....actually. curing hanahaki can come later. they gotta focus on saving their friends and all of ninjago first before they can deal with them
HHMMMMMMMM....... i think despite knowing about how much jay love her.... she doesnt really... Get It. HOW he loves her i mean. quantity vs quality. when they were first dating, to her it was really casual. in my mind jay was first attracted to nya shallowly too
but then he fell deeper. more genuinely. and that contributed to a greater discrepancy between their level of affection. nya for the most part has been believing that jays obsession with her is because hes just too clingy and attached. and like he is. but.... its like the product of the intensity of the emotion you know? his love for her manifested in jay in a way that put nya off a little. contributed to the reason why nya dumped him all those months ago.... having a heart to heart gave her some perspective on what it has been like for jay but
thats different from Understanding you know? comprehending... seeing the depth... anyways... so jay had been acting too chivalrous up to that point right? and then nya learns about jays hanahaki and chalks up his behavior to him overcompensating...... a symptom even
nya thinks its just jay trying his best to win her back. she doesnt really have that many reasons to think otherwise. its whats consistent. this all happened because jay wanted them to get together again. whatever, she has decided that shes going to forgive jay for all that, needless acts of chivalry included. even tho. she really doesnt like that. calls it a force of habit and puts it aside. for more Important Things like taking care of jay and taking nadakhan Down
but then they get found and theyre scrambling fast to prepare for the attack and counterattack. they manage to fall into a frantic but familiar routine of collaborative repairs and fixes and asides from jays incessant coughing reminding nya that things are pretty awful.... its nice
she doesnt get to feel that way for long tho. their haven is raided and their prep wasnt enough, theyre struggling, theres way too many pirates and its just the two of them against what feels like an army and theyre on the way to losing and nadakhan is nowhere to be found
they try to stick together to have each others backs but they get separated anyways and they start doing even worse. im changing up the action scene btw. nya manages sweep a bunch of pirates away but doubloon is one of the ones that could actually put up a fight
meanwhile jay isnt fairing very well and maybe worse because he was already injured and also his hanahaki makes it really hard. he fights for his breath trying to hold his own. he gets fucking smashed by dogshank through the floor onto the stairwell below. all the air is knocked from him
and he legitimately cant breathe for a solid moment. hes wheezing and he coughs hard enough to vomit. he doesnt have his breath back when he looks up and sees nya panicking at the sight of him and shes distracted and jay sees doubloon take an opening
jay doesnt even breathe when he instantly fires a lightning bolt from prone towards doubloon. and hes already up and sprinting to nyas side to fill her blindspot.
hes on the cusp of an asthma attack, he can feel it, but he doesnt have the time to worry about it (as if he had any control over it) his chest is tight and his breaths are too shallow and it hurts but he pushes through it to protect nya. hes slipping though
assaulted from all sides, between doubloon and dogshank and all the pirates, jay knows theyre going to lose. mostly because of him. hes dragging the two of them down and why did he ever think the two of them had the chance and why did he ever think that nadakhan would even come (hes not gonna this turned into a full divergence now) and even if he wasnt flagging hard now, he can feel it his chest that hes going to pass out if this goes on for any longer and leave nya to fend for himself and get them both captured and he cant let that happen.
nya is at her wits fucking end she can feel them losing too and nya refuses to think about how at this rate both of them are going down, but she wont let them. but, among the harsh clangs of weapons, the rush of floods, and the cracks of lightning at jays fingertips,
through all this discord, at this proximity she can hear jays struggled breaths and its the most terrifying sound in the world. then suddenly shes shoved to the side and hears a crash and a cry and when nya looks jays sliced through by doubloons sword
then something glows by her feet and nya realizes what jay did. he broke the teapot. clutching at his wound, jay gives nya a strained smile. he says "sorry" and kicks her in before she can object. before the portal closes she watches jay take a stand only to be subdued
she lands in the junkyard with a bad tumble. she just lies in the dust and dirt in shock. it happened too fast. jay sacrificed himself for her? jay risked himself even though he was the one who needed protecting and got himself hurt to pull that stunt.
and now hes in their clutches again. rage begins to well up. why! why?! why did jay do that?! is he stupid! there had to be a better way, they couldve escaped together and regrouped! tears begin to well up as well. nya gets up and smashes a bunch of junk
jays parents come out after that. and nya realizes where she is for the first time and forces herself to calm down. she sorts out her feelings over ednas soup after shes pulled into the trailer.....Â
at first she doesnt get it. shes too upset to think about it. she vents to jays parents about what he did. "why did he do that?" and it was meant to be a rhetorical question for herself but edna gives her an answer thats way too simple.
"because he loves you."Â
and nya is hit with another rude realization. shes been having too many of those
jay..... loves her. deeply. truly loves her genuinely, more than he cares about himself. its not just lingering attachment. its a deeper, more sincere love than nya could ever fathomed. nya knew how much jay loved her. but at the same time she didnt. she didnt get how he loved her
she feels a way about that. all this time jay loved her this bad? bad enough to catch hanahaki, bad enough to keep his hanahaki, bad enough to hide it. bad enough to *wish* for her love, to suffer, ang to get hurt for her...
she thinks he loves her bad enough to die for her. she really feels a way about that. her heart starts beating fast. she doesnt want to put together why. she kinda wants to cry.
why was she so mean to him... sometimes he deserved the little things he had coming but why was she so harsh. why did she fall out of love with him..... well she knows but also.... she was really unfair to him huh. jay wasnt perfect and he was too much but... she doesnt know.
all she knows is she feels a lot of regrets right now.. and moved by jay what did for her... along with this third unplaceable feeling.Â
(she started falling in love again)
its a slow gradual thing tho. nya doesnt place it immediately. she doesnt think she wanted to after she broke up with him herself. didnt even think it was possible.
but eventually nya feels very embarrassed by it when she realizes. because 1) oh my god shes falling in love with him after falling out of love and dumping him? is she shameless? and also 2) flustered because shes For Reals in love this time now beyond the casual kind of love she held for him before. this realizaton doesnt happen anytime soon. probs a good amount of time after everything resolves
so for narrative purposes i swapped jays and nyas roles for this last part of the story only. i think its safe to say jay is not treated kindly when he reboards the ship. in fact i think theyre even crueler for letting nya get away. before he was just roughed up to play with him
a form of coercion to get him to make his last wish. this time theyre taking it out on jay as punishment. nya assembles a rescue party like jay does in canon and somehow rescues jay and she hates the state that she finds him hes in
i think he'll be easier to rescue than nya because hes not like.... nadakhans bride. but wait..... WAIT NO IT COULD HARDER BECAUSE THEY COULD SET HIM UP AS BAIT FOR NYA TO COME GET HIM.... FUCK CURSE MY WHUMP DRIVEN BRAIN!!!!!!!!!! ITLL BE SO MUCH HARDER TO GET HIM LIKE THIS BUTâÂ
THE IMAGE OF JAY BEING TIED/STRUNG UP IN PLAIN VIEW.... fuck. figuring it out is too hard and i dont even need to figure it out for the romance do i like goddammit. fucking sequencing..... maybe they get their friends out of the sword first.... somehow.
as for how they beat nadakhan..... i havent thought up a good way. i dont think it should go the same way as canon. i want nya to actually have her agency and not take it away again after ive given it to her.Â
i however dont know what jays wish should be. thats like so hard to figure out. this end is a significance divergence from canon. oh also jay has been thoroughly gagged so he cant say his wish. and also maybe because the pirates got sick of his coughing. nadakhans goal for torturing jay has changed.
he doesnt want him to break and submit and wish himself away anymore. he has better use in making sure nya comes to him. well he can still break him. its extra motivation. an incentive for nya to be a bit more faster and careless in her desperation to save him. he just shuts jay up also.
also im a sadist. anyways back to defeating nadakhan.... its a little tough ngl! for me and for nya! because this story has diverged so considerably. it cant have the same climax as canon. it just doesnt work. not even when theyre roleswapped
nya cant make a wish. she doesnt have anymore wishes. or hmm maybe she does have one left like jay does in this timeline but i dunno.... technically i could do that bc nya used up her wishes in only stupid ways so its not that hard of a change.Â
it changes their game plan in the lighthouse just a bit but in this version nadakhan doesnt even show up so story wise its a nonfactor. they both couldve made a wish and stopped things. but they dont get the chance to do that.
but either way nya having a wish is an option, not something thats set in stone. also i think nya gets a hold of the venom. either jay had passed it to her when he pushed her into the portal or it stayed on his person and was confiscated and nya obtained it because clancee told her about it. which ever works. man is jay doing rough in this au. hes suffering so many consequences....i think as hes bound and helpless, hes gonna have a lot of thoughts... and a lot of regrets
he wishes he never kept secrets, he wishes he didnt make things worse.... i think he wishes nya doesnt come and rescue him. because if she does and she gets captured and nadakhan marries her for infinite wishes then itll all be his fault. again. because nya risked herself for him
so jay hopes nya doesnt come. he wants her to be safe even if it means hes forever captured. its better than the worst case scenario.Â
but a tiny tiny tiny part of jay that is wishful does hope that he is rescued. because hes weak. he selfishly wants nya to save him
he shouldve learned by now that his desire for nya doesnt do him any good. but the part thats terrible and in love still wishes for better. he wants to be saved. he wants to be forgiven. he wants to fix things. he doesnt want to hurt anymore.
he thinks he can accept nya never loving him again. but he wants to stop aching in his chest. but he cant let go of his love. at this point its a part of who he is. so even though hes resigned to suffer and part of him foolishly hopes. he wishes
but jay doesnt get it. nya HAS forgiven him. she wishes she has never hurt jay like she did and if she could she would take it back. shes determined to fix things one way or any other. she has to save him or shes the worst. jay never deserved *all* of this.
once she saves him shes going to fix them. somehow.
and somehow they do. with a wish i cannot fucking figure out so SPARE ME. but i think... they dont go back in time. things arent undone and theres damage everywhere. so much repairs to be done. and theres a start to everything
i think i forgot to mention but at the end of unrequited good end, which honestly i think friendship end is a more fitting name, jay and nya hug at the end of skybound when time rolls back. no kiss. i think the same happens at the end of requited end too. time doesnt roll back but they have moment... hug.. but still no kiss. not yet. nya hasnt realized her feelings are changing. actually she might it takes a bit for them to develop. jay and nya start having a very honest relationship with each other tho
nya doesnt want to ignore jays hanahaki and jay comes to a similar conclusion as friendship/unrequited end. he realizes nya still cares for him A Lot as a friend, she cared so much she risked everything to walk into nadakhans trap guns blazin. and he doesnt want to jeopardize their friendship by distancing himself.
he wants things to be normal between them despite his hanahaki. and the funny thing is that... in this end, jays hanahaki gets somewhat more manageable too.... but its for a different reason in this au. lol. lol. because his feelings are becoming requited.
his hanahaki isnt suddenly gone one day because nyas feelings are so ambiguous tho. and when she does finally realize that shes fallen for jay. she actually goes into a bit of denial. for a mix of reasons.Â
its not because nya doesnt want to cure jay of his hanahaki. she just didnt think thats a thing that can happen. falling in love again. she was also so very sure that she didnt have feelings for jay anymore before so its also a pride thing she has going on. subconsciously, she doesnt want to take things back because shes stubborn.
and its also one part nya feeling like shes doing jay a little bit dirty somehow (her brain making her overthink in a twisted way) and that she wouldve been toying with jays feelings if she returns them now. after all this time has passed.
is she that fickle? (its not her being fickle) and nya cant quite place why she has feelings for jay again. nya feels like jay probably deserves someone better than her, someone who hasnt hurt him so bad.
nya has trouble understanding herself so she thinks shes being flaky and worries her feelings are flaky also and she doesnt want to hurt jay again with such uncertain feelings. i am making nya feel so fucking complicated and conflicted. FEELINGS ARE OFTEN AS SUCH!!!
but despite nya's internal turmoil, her feelings for jay are very genuine. she might think they are arbitrary but thats not quite the case. well her love is arbitrary as any other love is. but anyways. she fell again because jay did win her over, not even when he was trying to.
his sincere love... his dedication. when nya saw it in a different light it was attractive to her. she appreciates that jay loves her the way he does now. also before (the breakup) her love for jay was a bit shallow. it was just that casual. but now what she feels for jay is more genuine. and more equal. eventually she sorts it out. there might be some of romantic drama to get her to get there though. a bit more accidental hurt.
i had the tangential thought that jay might tell nya that his hanahaki is getting better causing her to go "on no". jays finally letting go of his feelings over for her and nya doesnt want to mess that up. hes finally recovering when she catching feelings again?
of course this would happen to her. shes glad but shes wistful she missed her chance at having a boyfriend who truly cares about her like jay does.... serves her right. .... nya is an idiot lol... jays is getting better bc of her skdjhtrglksdj. anyways
eventually... they talk. and sort it all out. all the hurt and feelings and love. nya opens up and confesses and jay cries about it lol. because this is all he had ever wanted ever since he fell in love with nya. the elation he feels is unparalleled. and tightness in his chest finally vanishes all together and he feels better than he has in ages. of course he says yes. he tells nya things to erase her doubts. and it took a lot of trouble to get here but theyre here now. together again for reals. and neither of them can believe it.Â
they hold hands. and they finally kiss
-
I THINK. THATS THE END OF REQUITED END. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS END WERE INITIALLY MUCH SHORTER, SHORTER THAN, UNREQUITED/FRIENDSHIP END? ON GOD. WHAT HAPPENED. ITS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE REQUITED END REALLY NEEDED FULLY BEAT OUT DEVELOPMENT. OR ELSE I COULDNT BE SATISFIED WITH IT. IM A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY WHAT I CAME UP WITH FEELS KINDA SAPPY BUT I CANT TELL IF IT IS. IM ARO. THIS ISNT MY HOME TURF. BUT I WANTED REQUITED END TO BE ACTUALLY VIABLE WITHOUT FEELING FORCED.... I WANTED TO BE AS SATISFIED WITH THIS AS I AM FOR UNREQUITED END. AND ENDED UP NEEDING TO PUT IN 100 TIMES THE WORK SDJKTUFHIGTLSDKJ. I THINK I ACCOMPLISHED WHAT I WANTED THO...... I THINK ITS OKAY..........
okay. im finally picking flowers. ive been thinking about it a bit while i wrote this whole thing. it wasnt a priority. but i do wanna pick some flowers that fit this story....
had the thought that depending on the end of this au (... i have aus within my au huh....) jay actually has different flowers. different meanings and symbolism.
i want jays primary flower to be an anemone for the record. âforsaken loveâ. nods. thats pretty representative of jays love for like. 3 seasons. also.... shares a name with the ocean animal. water... small connection with nya... not directly representative of her but it does a little. anemone has a few other meanings as well and i think those can fit too depending on the end. but the primary meaning im using is forsaken love (apparently its specifically the red and pink ones that mean this. please do note all these flower language resources are pretty inconsistent from each other)
tragic death end- anemone (specifically red- also means death), red poppy (remembrance in death), red spider lily (am i going too ham with the death flowers? yes. would jay see this as an ill omen? definitely. however. symbolism. also this bouquet is just So red. with blood lol)
tragic lost love (surgery) end- anemone, yellow chrysanthemums (broken/slighted love), black dahlia (betrayal), narcissus (unrequited love, selfishness), rue (regret), i would add forget me nots if i didnt think it doesnt fit with the colors
friendship/unrequited end- anemone, yellow rose (bros the meaning of the yellow rose is so fucking loaded LMAO. friendship, infidelity (nya), undying love? the wiki sure lists a lot), dandelion (overcoming hardship, growth, hope, and healing, friendship)
requited end- anemone, sea lavender (remembrance/memory, sympathy, i love you), sea holly (independence (nya) and attraction (jay)). okay so i dunno if a bouquet of these would look good together per se but.... ocean theme.... and also i wanted the flowers to rep both jay and nya in meanings.... since this is the end in which theyre together after all....
flower language is fucking hard. but i cant NOT put sincere thought into it. its fucking hanahaki i feel like i Gotta. btw these arent 100% set in stone i might change my mind about them? but i do really like anemone tho.... and tangential thought hgtjbnfjkghl sea holly would be fucking AWFUL for jay to cough up. esp when he starts spitting full flowers. those look like they hurt. just like what its like to love nya (lol). flower that would definitely make him cough blood
anyways..... if you made it to the end of this..... thank you.... this post is literally over 7600 words. thats like a long one shot. this is more like a fic outline tho. anyways anyways.... madness legit descended upon me while i wrote this all. i hope you enjoyed. i did this for my self satisfaction but if other people enjoyed this also i kinda wanna know
holds up a glass. cheers to jays suffering and heartbreak
(og thread here)
#ninjago talk#oh also. if you read all this. tell me which ending you like....#jem.txt#..... feel like i need a tag for this kind of stuff but what....#my concepts#thatll do#jaya#ninjago#im holding back on character tags i cant do that im embarrassed as is
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SAY NO MORE FAM
CANON TTYD SONG PLAYLIST
-> ( recommended to read alongside listening! )
ENTRY 1. posin' â peggy suave (electro swing remix)
okay hear me out. this isnt entirely serious but its really really cute. works especially well with chapter 6 . im just a sucker for electro swing
ENTRY 2. ship in a bottle â fin
im gonna be honest at first this one in my head was more of a song in my "vivian and her internalized self loathing that makes her bottle her emotions towards her friends inside" saga, and it still is, but it also works really really well with what bobbery has going on. the ship and ocean sailing theming, obviously, but it does talk about a generalized chunk of emotions. needing to talk about them or else he'll sink. needing to let go. its just. aughhgghhhhhh. fuck .
ENTRY 3. unravel (specifically this english cover which i fucking love)
do i even have to explain myself. do i. 100% vivian coded. and also peach. ill be real this one fits chimera vivian more but i put it on this playlist because it also fits canon vivian too. albeit a bit less. the whole .. feeling hopeless and left behind. and wanting to be left behind. feeling like shes failed her sisters but not wanting to quite keep fighting to return to them. aughjhhj ...
ENTRY 4. eyes half closed â crywolf
okay. this is a polycule or just vivian and mario coded one to me. vivian struggling to say what she wants to ......... the mentions of leaving town ..... hhhgj:(...
ENTRY 5. bitter water â the oh hellos
okay now THIS is mario+vivian coded. duuuude the pure joy they find in eachother makes me crumble to my knees. vivian likes him so so much and mario loves her like a sodden old man loves his cats. dudeee. maybe people find it strange but who give a shitâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸ they love eachother so much dude im gonna keel over
ENTRY 6. the weight of us â sanders bohlke
dude. okay. augh. the groups struggles through the journey to get the crystal stars and feeling doubt. but knowing they have to get through it no matter what. the grief and suffering. the hardships they feel together that crack them open like oysters but they seal together closer when the time nears. their own internal hardship holden secrets that stay sealed like sunken vaults, shucked away to make way for the promise of victory and eventual role to fill of heros. even if they are filled with terrors and fears, they are strong together. the time has come, and they must be brave, no matter what happens. AUJGHHH. (SOUNDS OF WAILING)
ENTRY 7. done with love â zedd
yeah its another ship coded song. honestly? i can feel tec in this. but im mega mega biased and im leaning towards marvian. mario cares alot about vivian okay . i know it in myheart. he loves her and helps her get over her insecurities and fears and i love that for them so much AUHGâźď¸
ENTRY 8. out of my mind â jamie berry (electro swing remix)
yeahhhhhh its another marvian one (and maybe vivibella if you swing that way too) ...OOOKAY IM CRAZY OVER HERE. LEAVE ME BE. look . to me mario is an old fashioned guy who loves his wife so much that he worries her and owns a gramophone. is that so wrong of me to assume.
ENTRY 9. willow tree march â the paper kites
haha. yeah. when i first was exposed to ttyd i did NOT expect as much grief and death as it gave. so here we are. DEFINITELY leeching off of the fact that most of them all have mortality based traumas . 100%. koops thought his dad was dead for so long. bobbery's wife literally died. the sufferers. the grievers. guys who fear the worst if they die and fail, and just fearing death in general even if it happens to everyone. there is no shot that none of them fear death in some capacity . mortality based fears are real and im projecting at this rate
ENTRY 10. king â lauren aquilina
mmmmm something something when the gang has doubts. when mario has doubts and worries. oh boy. vivian comforting mario just like he comforted her ;;;;;;; i just love giving mc's like mario anxiety its really great . i can make anything marvian if i squint its a talent
ENTRY 11. april in paris â billie holiday
the old fashioned mood is back again sorry . haha .... marvian ..... or vivibella .. coded .... (gets booed off the stage)
ENTRY 12. everything you ever â neil patrick harris
dude. dude. grodus song if i ever fucking heard it i swear to god. his feeling of superiority at the end of the tunnel. his stupid little "im better than you" monologue. except he plays it cool and actually sends shivers down your spine. a good villain in a 'has no idea what they are doing and struggled to get where they are but literally no one knows except members of the audience that think outside of the box'. and then he gets fucking crushed by both mario and bowser. fuck hes such a loser i love him.
ENTRY 13. my way â chase holfelder
ANOTHER X FUCKS SONG. this time its crump. soggy wet pathetic little freak of a guy. honestly i feel like if he really tried he would do well at trying to garner sympathy. in a theater kid dramatic way. thats what this reminds me of. but one that eventually gets into the shitty nitty gritty and sorta makes u feel something. its great
ENTRY 14. never forget you â zara larsson
hey . hey guess what. YUP ITS ANOTHER MARVIAN SONG(GETS SHOT)
ENTRY 15. calling your name â telehope
ok. uhm. so. its. its another marvian so(is killed
ENTRY 16. heart â flor
do i even have to say anything . horurhghhh. vivian (and also vivimera. they both work) and her constant identity crisis ... wanting to move forward but feeling guilty for leaving her sisters behind. yeah. yeah. real ones know how i feel about this one .
ENTRY 17. lay me down â the oh hellos
honestly i dont really have anyone for this one its just the vibes i think. the vibes of the crisp morning of everyone in the land. everyone waking up to a golden sunrise. the sandy pitter patter of feet through the land as the group goes through. the distant smell of death, but its bittersweet. its lovely
ENTRY 18. youth â daughter
oh man. this one . the promise of success, not knowing what lies ahead. those twisted and shapely, those we had known long gone. but time marches on. the goalpost needing to be touched at any cost, even at the cost of death. the heavyness of every choice, every burden left unturned. the mistakes that were made, the choices already chosen before you that choose your own branching paths. those you meet on the way and those you forget, being nothing but memories when time comes. it happens to everyone. but there is hope and love within the hurt, even if bitter. the taste of sour apples lingers, but even within those bites, there is sweetness.
ENTRY 19. unholy â the wrecks
ohhhh yeah a shadow queen song. and also the x-nauts or crump, if you think about it. but mostly shadow queen coded. the cockiness of it all. she would absolutely act soooo so cocky if anyone let her. to be honest, she deserves it. i love cunty asshole sly girlbosses. fuck. yes.
ENTRY 20. FFF â zara larsson
yeahhhhhh its a polycule song. i am nothing if not my biases. i can easily see this from either bellas or vivians pov. lovestruck idiots aughhh i love them
ENTRY 21. rubik's cube â athlete band
hhhfhfjdhf another mario (and co, if you believe it) self doubts song. man i just love making em so so so scared . scared and worried for the future, but full of wonder and hope because of the friends they all have ... auhghh ... weeps ..
ENTRY 22. cant sleep love â pentatonix
WHAT DO YA KNOW ITS ANOTHER POLYCULE CODED SONG HAAAAAHAHA ...........HAHA ......SWEATS (if i went into any more details of what i think of when this song comes on id be covered in thrown tomatoes)
ENTRY 23. lose it â oh wonder
mmmmhahahha yeahyou guessed it another marvian song.. i think mario would be a good dancer but he doesnt ever dance really.. so he and vivian dance together and ... auajjhhghhh ..........guysthey love eachother so much what if i exploded
ENTRY 24. lament for a toy factory â dr.steel
honestly? crump coded as fuck. absolute freak who loves his touys. he WOULD freak out over von grapple dude. lmao
ENTRY 25. little dark age x washing machine heart mashup remix
makes me think of whatever fucked up mental situation mario and the shadow queen would have going on while shes possessing peach would fuck him up baaaad. if the shadow queen was smart enough to capitalize on this. oh man.
ENTRY 26. too sensitive â sean kennedy
vivian coded 100%. without a doubt. shes sensitive in her own ways ... and especially sensitive against her sisters. aouhggh.
ENTRY 27. candyman â zedd & aloe blacc
DUUUUUDEEE DUDE. THIS SONG MAKES ME WEEP AND WAIL EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEAR IT. AUGH... JUST ...... THE SHEER AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS AND NOSTALGIA FLOWING OFF OF IT .... DUDDE .............. everyone being so so so happy together and having the time of their lives :(((((( having picnics and game nights and trips to scenic places and and and . oh my goddddd the gang is a FAMILYYYY they are a family i swear to godddd. they love and care about eachother so muchhhh dudeee. what if i explodedâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸
ENTRY 28. my ordinary life â the living tombstone
crump song. super fucking cocky AND dramatic. lmfao
ENTRY 29. crossfire â stephen
honestlyyyyy i have so little words for this one. but man the vibes are there for me. it works. something about it just does it for me
ENTRY 30. afraid of the dark â the band camino
yeah. you guessed it. another polycule song. either mario or bella about vivian .... eeeeeuhhhhehehhee im so sick for them its unreal. the dynamic they have of being scared of eachother is sooooooo. crazy to me im crazy.sorry
ENTRY 31. labyrinth â miracle musical
YEAHHH MORE MARIO ANXIETY MUSIC!!!!!!!!! BEAMS MY LAZER THAT GIVES HIM ANXIETY AND FEAR AND TERROR AND WORRY ANDâ
ENTRY 32. awoken â glaze
YUPPPPP ITS TEC MUSIC. I LOVE TEC SOOOOMUCH SO IM ALSO BEAMING HIM WITH THE GUILT BEAM BWOOOOOOO i love sentient machines that learn how to love humanity ayghgrhrhhhhhh i need him to feel guilt i love him so bad . living after all of that ....... learning to love and learning to live a life of peace and carefree worries. god . he deserves so much
ENTRY 33. nowhere feels like home â the wldlfe
ohhh man yeah. vivian song. feeling so secluded and outcast even with her sisters. her memory of them being happy and carefree being lost from her sight. feeling so scared of what others think of her after joining the party even though mario has her back. fucjjjkkkk dudeeee.:(((
ENTRY 34. more than friends â aidan bissett
aaaaand another polycule song ..... this could literally go for any of them its craaaazy. silly worried dummiesssss in love i swear
ENTRY 35. love you better â the haunt
ohhh yeah vivian / marvian song. her guilt of who she is ... her anxiety surrounding her feelings ..... oh man. yeah. yeah.
ENTRY 36. real peach â henry jamison
heheeee another one for the 'mario loving his wife' collection
ENTRY 37. again â noah cyrus & xxxtentacion
even more marvian .ahaha. sweats. .. . could also be tec/peach if u dig that kinda thing
ENTRY 38. kids again â artist vs poet
itssss another marvian song.im just obsessed okay sorry.im normal i promise. .. mbfbfhdjjfjg they just love eachotherrrr :(((((( they find so much comfort in one another and it makes my heart so so happyyyy dudeeee.. this literally fits tbem so muchhhh even the lyrics brooo. it makes me want to cry so badly . mario being wreckless ... vivian being a shy beam of light ... god i love them so much
ENTRY 39. stupid â tate mcrae
ANOTHER MARVIAN SONG but this time its feels of when the one sided stuff was happening... vivian rummaging through her very very harsh self loathing during that period of unrequited feelings.. this poor lady .. aughhhh shes everything . she means everything .
ENTRY 40. two time â jack stauber
oh my goddd haha okay more marvian is the last song. oops .. anyway my emotions on this are crazy ..... vivian in her own head about what she thinks mario thinks of her .... aughhggh .... misreading the things he says and assuming the worst. making up fake scenarios in her head and then lamenting over them for hours and hours . god this poor girl someone save her.
AAAND THATS ITâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸
ill probably update in this fashion whenever i find a new song to add to the list because im a crazy FREAK who cares wayyyyy too much about music and how well i can attach musical themes to my interests.plspls pls tell me if im right or wrong on any of these I LOVE HEARING SECOND OPINIONS IT GIVES ME LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!literally livepost to me u listening to these songs idc ill love you forevr music is everything to me . forreals .. ok ty for reading . bye
#REALLY REALLY LONG POST#LONG POST#IM SO SORRY IM JUST CRAZY LMAO#if anyone wants me to do an analysis/breakdown like this for the vivimera au playlist i have LET ME KNOWâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸#ill happily do it#theres alot of overlap with this playlist and that one#sooooo it would be fun#pm:ttyd#vivibella#marvibella#marvian#im so sick in the head looooool#letter deliveries#link's lectures
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Ugh okay Iâm not sure if this will really fit with ur ideas but whenever anyone brings up group yanderes Iâm always drawn to a specific scenario: Reader, by some miracle, gets a significant other outside of the group that, again, by a miracle, they donât know about (Iâm thinking, in this scenario, Reader travels through universes often to hang out with different spiders, and in a universe they visit frequently, they sneak off and see someone whenever the local spider is doing their spider stuff). Said s/o breaks up with Reader and theyâre obviously upset. The group starts freaking tf out because their darlingâs upset and not telling anyone whatâs wrong, while Readerâs going through a whole internal conflict because they know theyâll be in trouble if they tell the truth, but also they know their ex will be in MAD trouble, so theyâre desperately trying to hide the whole situation, which only makes things worse as the group descended into chaos, knowing that their darling is hiding *something* and not telling anyone. The whole spiderverse is working together to manipulate you/figure out whatâs going on. People like Jess, Pav, and Gwen try to approach you as sympathetic friends who you can vent your issues to, while characters like Miguel and Hobie are much more upfront in telling you to tell them whatâs going on, not even asking. When the truth does inevitably get revealed, itâs hell on earth for both you and your ex. (Bonus; imagine if said ex actually hurt you in some way other than breaking up, like admitting to cheating or was generally cruel to you either during the relationship or just in the breakup. The fury of your captors would be biblical)
God and from their perspective some/most of it is justified because you're walking around SIGNIFICANTLY more depressed than before, you're starting to become more anxious and jumpy, and with some people you're outright lashing out in anger if they press you on the subject, so like, even if some of the Spiders are trying to invade your privacy or even manipulate you, from their side, there's no telling how serious this problem actually is, or if it's nothing to be concerned about (in the grand scheme of things, you having a fight with your partner isn't some world shattering event, but to THEM it's 'wait Reader's been dating? who???' And like virtually no matter who it is, if they're a Normie they aren't good enough by the Society/your group's standards. Although technically if dating could potentially interfere with any of your future canon events, well, then you have a particular spicy papi very upset with you...)
So like, I haven't seen all clips of Miguel's scenes and speaking lines yet but I've been spoiling myself to a little more (I aim to see spiderverse on the big screen this weekend so I was kinda leaving some to surprise, fucking hid all my wax and edibles, im gonna dry out for a few days and hit some dabs and see this shit in IMAX and itll rewire my fucking brain shits gonna be so good) but oh my god this man gets so fucking scary. He's just on his brooding platform already stressed as fuck which is a constant state he lives in at this point and here's Jess and Peter B as concerned parents to fill him in on their concerns, what they've seen from you: sudden increased self isolating, crying more, becoming more withdrawn and quiet, refusing to talk to them about it, trying to spend all your time alone. Miguel just, trying to tether the last pieces of his mental sanity together as he decides to go visit you personally, and he can immediately tell you're hiding something from all the darting glances to the fact you don't want to look him in the eyes.
Like can you imagine, I guess it depends on how you see Reader "going about", like do they have their own home universe or whatever, but, Miguel hasn't confronted you himself yet and he decides, fine, you want to keep secrets, good fucking luck, and all of his dimensional watches he's given out are probably connected to the same servers and systems so he just, looks up your travel log and quickly identifies that you've been visiting the same universe repeatedly, but none of your friends seem to know why you would be going there. Say you've been hanging around in Gwen's universe and Miguel assumes, oh maybe you're spending time with Gwen, maybe that emo little drummer said something to upset you, but Gwen looks confused (and a little upset) when it turns out you've been apparently popping in her universe without even saying hi? And Miguel is gritting his teeth because he's starting to form a theory on what's going on and he doesn't like it one fucking bit
He teams up with Jess and Peter B and Gwen and some of your other pals and he starts triangulating your bracelet and. Wow what the fuck you're in Gwen's dimension RIGHT NOW. So then they all race towards your location to watch from a distance, some real loony tunes, "all 6 or 7 of us are hiding behind the same tree" bullshit, and, there you are from a distance, out of costume as you're clearly very upset, talking to someone that, most of the Spiders recognize instantly minus characters like Pav and Jess and Miguel and there's this resounding GROAN OF DISGUST "oh god, NOT FLASH THOMPSON" (for Spiderman lore newbies this is literally the character that bullies the fuck out of Peter Parker in high school like literal actual shoving him into lockers shit)
Peni uses her mech to send out a listening device and everyone is comically gathered around as they eavesdrop and start getting progressively more furious as they start piecing things together: you HAD been there to visit Gwen initially, but somehow you met Flash out of costume and the jockey SOMEHOW managed to woo you, but the relationship quickly became manipulative and controlling until you eventually caught Flash with another person. They're all GRITTING THEIR TEETH as you're in tears, asking him what you did wrong, where did you mess up, and Flash basically tells you to your face, "you're nothing special, I got bored of you"
Your little groupie gang of platonic and romantic yandere WITH STEAM BLOWING OUT OF THEIR EARS as you whimper "but... you-you said you loved me! We SLEPT together!" And he just. Fucking laughs in your face, SHOVES YOU, and calls you a slut before walking away with someone else on his arm
Gwen absolutely seething as she reflects on how Flash treated her Peter and Pavitr is swearing curses onto his entire family line meanwhile Hobie just like "oy would it break canon if I smash my guitar over that pisser's head". Peter 'I just wanna talk to him' B Parker as he hands Mayday off to Jess while cracking his knuckles. Miguel is, well, upset about like 10 different things because God fucking damn it, how long have you been hanging around with non-Spiders in other universes? (Do you think the Spider Society would be like, more than just a little possessive and insular, since youre supposed to be part of the Ha Ha We're All Spiderman club and they catch you hanging with normies over them) Is there anyone else? What have you been doing? He's just instantly a mixture of furious and hurt because damn it don't you know you're like his favorite, why the fuck are you running around potentially flirting with canon, don't you know how dangerous this is
But also deadass he wants to tear that man apart with his claws and he's considering checking the canon events of this universe to see if he can make it so
The Gang just watching as you pick yourself up but can't stop crying, and you drag your feet as you head to sit in a park or something, seeming like your entire form and surroundings are nothing but a depressed, deep blue. You're in a park or something so they can't exactly approach you normally because there are people around, but you just sit there crying for ages before you eventually pick yourself up and draaaaaag your feet, seeming to walk around aimlessly until, eventually, you go to a dark alley or under a bridge somewhere and they all pop out at you just as you're about to warp home anyways and you're just immediately bombarded by all these people
"Hey, you know what he said isn't true, right? Dude's a punk bitch!"
"Scuse me? I take that personally. He IS a total fuckin wanker though"
"Hon, you can't let what some ego-tripping blonde who peaked in high school said make you feel like this! He ain't worth it!"
And you're just standing there looking at them as your heart breaks a little more because you HAD been wanting some kind of support in all of this but you're muttering out with disbelief, "you guys followed me...?" And you're really hurt by that, but, here comes Miguel, stalking forward, putting a hand on your shoulder that's one part sympathetic comfort, one part possessive anger as he glowers at you with chestnut eyes that almost look RED, "anything else you wanna share?"
Miguel marching back to the weekly We Love Reader meeting and slapping a graphic up onto the wall with your face like a PSA "THIS Spider FUCKS and only YOU can stop it" fhfjfjg no not really but like non yandere Spiders are doing their own thing when, from a secret meeting room somewhere in Nueva York, the ground practically shakes with dozens upon dozens if not hundreds of voices crying out in agony "NOT FLASH THOMPSON đŠ"
Bonus points if like, one of the things The Gang had witnessed was you crying and all that right, but, what if Reader had specifically said to Flash, "but I gave you my VIRGINITY" like. Mayhem. Pandemonium. All the Spiders have a sudden "aha!" because wow no wonder you suddenly started talking about how you're worthless and don't matter, this DICK HEAD lured you into a false sense of security and trust and then took your virginity and bounced while calling you a fucking loser and judging by that shove, has maybe even put his hands on you before? Like fuckinnnngggg The Society and your entire friend group freaking the fuck out one day because you have a black eye one day you were trying to hide with sunglasses and you say it was from a Villain but they're all like Nah Fam That's Sus because how would a villain pop one off on your face when you have super strength and Spidey Sense and they get you/intimidate you to open up and it's like, oh, that was because your "boyfriend" didnt like how you thought you smelled someone else's perfums/cologne on him and he lost his temper when you pressed him for answers, and even when you tell them the truth you're still crying with a small laugh, "it was my fault, I should've backed off and realized I was upsetting him"
Reader just gets surrounded by all their friends and "the cute Spiders" like the cat Spiderman and oh my fucking god there's a plushie Spiderman and just, gosh, they try to basically smother you with love to cheer you up and bring your confidence back but your heart has been wounded and needs time to heal 𼺠regardless, later on Detective Stacey is having to investigate and finds Mr Thompson in an alleyway with a busted knee that permanantly ends any sort of athletic career and the words "CHEATER" cut across his body in multiple places while he's covered in scratches, bruises, bites, and he keeps mumbling the weirdest most incoherent shit under his breath that gets him hospitalized
"The- the pig... it TALKED... it pulled out a HAMMER... from its POCKET... the pig... had ... POCKETS..."
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please ramble as hard as you can about pruita I need to hear what you have to say about them
grabs you by the shoulders very roughly.
ok. my favorite flavor of pruita is utterly unrequited. cuz its very funny to me. my fav thing to do is listen to music and think about unrequited pruita like L imagine đšđšbut also its kind of sad and i like how its sad but also funny
like think about the prussia cleaning game like omg.... he loves him.... its so silly.......
PRUSSIA STROKED IN HAPPINESS! WHAT THE FUCK! GAY!
and he literally was imaginging them like together on some sort of boat idk what its called like ugh
and the fucking BLOG. ive already posted these before but. my god.
he likes him so much....... its unbelievable........
like are you serious. he so very obviously has a crush on him THERES SO MUCH PROOF OF IT AND [im trying to restrain myself here from being salty about prucan shippers so i will stop myself here.]
ok im racking my brain to try and think of what to say rn cuz as much as i say i wanna talk about my ships i know deep down in my heart i dont have much to say that i can turn into coherent thoughts.
back to my thoughts and not canon content. unrequited pruita. like ok you know that hetalia itself is just gerita fanfiction. like i love gerita. who doesnt. and thats where it comes in in my version of pruita. like prussia is so in love with italy and italys like omggg germanyyyy :3 like. oh my gfod can i talk about the songs i associate with them. the answer is yes i cant be stopped.
ok puppy princess by hot freaks. fucking UGH. unrequited big fat crush ANTHEM right here.
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. prussia is the goofy friend... prussia loves italy...... and italy loves germany........ my goodness.........
NO OTHER HEART BY MAC DEMARCO. THIS IS LITERALLY PRUITA.
i love gerita truth pruita so much but not in the love triangle way like i mean thats what it sounds like but its more like a fucked up triangle like
it doesnt connect all the way... cuz in love triangles dont they usually like compete!>>! like prussia loves italy but in my pruita brain he wouldnt like.. actually really try to get with italy while he knew that germany was trying to get with him.... you know.... he wouldnt do that to his brother..... so he just keeps his crush to himself.... rip.... and thats the fun of it ! ! ! he yearns but he'll never have him... love that
LOVERS ROCK. BY TV GIRL. THIS ONE LYRIC. JESUS CHRIST.
TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE. UGH.
AND LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BY JOY AGAIN. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.
IM GONNA GO CRAZY!
and peach scone. by hobo johnson.
ltierally every time... prussia calls italy cute.... god......
now. onto requited pruita.
i think theyre silly cute so much so much :3 :3 :3 hold on gotta check pixiv so i can formulate thoughts. ok like i mostly think about prussia's side of things when it comes to required pruita but in my opinion prussia is CRAZY about that man. jesus christ. and italy thinks hes super silly and loves him đŤśđŤśđŤś HOLD ON I SHOULD FILL OUT ONE OF THOSE UNDERSTAND NMY SHIP THINGS HOLD ONNNNNN
got a little lazy but you understand.
i think thats all i have to say . i feel like i didnt really say much just put images and then said something along the lines of "jesus christ" or "what the fuck" but i think you undestand. thank you for asking. PEACE AND LOVE!
ALSO WAIT I HAVE MORE. i LOVE gerita marriage. they are so married. and i love thinking about prussia watching the boy hes had a big fat crush on for god knows how long get married to his brother. LMAO! and hes like crying like hes happy for his brother,... but oh man........ LMAOOOOO
i love prussia so much. make him suffer now
ok thanks for reading :heart:
edit:i just realized onm the height thing onm the ship chart i forgot to put 6 CM and instead put 6 M. oops
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Oooo the positive fandom questions sound fun how about 1, 8, 11 and 13?
list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)
i did just answer this same question here, but i think ill challenge myself to list 3 new things.
the sheer amount of toxic yaoi and toxic yuri appreciation in the rain code fandom. yall are so fucking real for this
the tgaa fandom's uncanny ability to bring out the most banger character analyses. just, genuinely amazing. whether it's character study fanfiction or essays written out on tumblr, i eat it up because so many are legitimately compelling. this is especially a shoutout to @hikari-kaitou's many posts about translation differences and general analysis that really changed my perspective on some characters, as well as one of my favorites- this novel length kazuma analysis. these things live rent free in my head and i always admire people who are able to articulate so many complex thoughts around stories and characters like this
i've gained some really amazing friends through both of these fandoms. just, people i genuinely enjoy talking to and that in turn makes me enjoy the source material even more
8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)
found family where the roles are really nebulous. don't get me wrong, if people enjoy the classic "these are the parents and these are all the siblings they adopted" that's fine and dandy enjoy your media however you want! i even enjoy it often enough and think it's cute
but. on the rare occasion i see it depicted in a way that's hard to label, it makes me so extremely excited and filled with glee. i'm sorry im gonna ramble for a moment
so for example, yakou and yuma. as much as i also enjoy the yakou fathero headcanon, i've gone insane over the one or two times i've seen them depicted closer to canon's explicit dynamic of "shitty boss and intern who are also roommates and mentor/mentee, except who is the mentor and who is the mentee changes at the drop of a hat and they BOTH fucking suck at it!!! yakou is yuma's savior, and yuma is (unintentionally) yakou's nuclear hazard level threat. the game very subtly implies that these two go out for drinks together, and yuma "millions in debt" kokohead still has to pay often enough for him to be surprised at the idea of yakou offering to do so. yuma respects yakou greatly, but of the NDA, yuma is snippiest with yakou and quickest to call the man out on his bullshit. it takes more time for him to act this way with shinigami than his own fucking boss. there are more things i could say, but they're spoilers so dont worry about it.
yakou is almost the arataka reigen to yuma's mob, but i can't even confidently make that comparison because they feel more equal than that. they feel more casual than that. i struggle to put a label to it and that's what i love about them. i would love to see more of this in general, for both fandoms i'm in, because it's fun as hell whenever i do see it
11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?
you know what, i'm pretty proud of my latest art, because i've finally drawn a background i dont mind looking at! ^w^
13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)
gotta say ship week, since it's the only one of these listed that i've actively participated in. prompt memes and gift exchanges are amazing too! i think i'd wanna get in on those someday. i dont celebrate christmas so secret santa's out of the cards for me. it'd be cool to see more similar events that aren't themed around holidays.
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why i joined tumblr and why i ship byler- cause i want to info dump cause i can
i wanna tell everyone why i got on tumblr because i can and i want to
so i got on tumblr because of byler during august. i started shipping byler during july.
i was kinda late to the stranger things party and i didnt actually watch it until may of 2022, but funny enough, it WASNT because of season 4 at all actually. my friend just really really wanted me to watch it because she thought id like it. she was riiiiiggghhthttttt.
yeah lmfao i didnt watch stranger things cause there was so much hype around season 4, i watched it because i wanted something gay to watch cause my heart stopper hyperfixation had just gone away and i still needed something gay to watch. i dm my friend saying "hey, do you have anything gay to watch because i need to watch something gay" and she gave me a list and was like "richie from IT is gay" and "will from stranger things is gay" and of course MY brain translated this to "mike is gay" because of notions from before hand i had about this little known to me character mike and also the fact that i knew that finn wolfhard played richie so i mistook will for mike because i was thinking the FCU and- yeah
so yeah i watched stranger things because a) my frined really wanted me to and b) the knowlege that mike was gay and thats what pushed me
anyways to safe to say i was THOROUGHLY confused when they started pulling the mike and el narraitve cause i LEGITEMATELY just thought it was straight canon like genuinelly- i had already imagined what i thougt the coming out scene would be like for him- LMFOAOOOO
anyways back on track- so then mike and el kissed and ill admit i was a lil disappointed but i was like fuck it ig theyre cute and then proceeded to be BLINDEDDDDDD by comp het. twas a very sad three next seasons for me in retrospect đ
so then i saw the "its not my fault you dont like girls" and then i was like- oh yeah this is the dude my friend was talking about
ANYWAYS
so yeah why i got on tumblr?
cause i got on pinterest andnndndnd yk naturally statrted filling my feed with stranger things stuff and of course i loved will cause he was gay and that made me so like omgggggg yass hes gay and that makes me so happy- but like i didnt ship byler- I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA GET TO SEE ONE DUDE IN THE VERY LAST SCENE HELP đđ i now realize im allowed to hold myself to better standards
so everytime i would see something byler related id be like, yeahhhhhhh its cute but not for me </3 cause i was like "yeah will likes mike but obvi mike doesnt like will back đ" and i thought it was a lil kookie and also was a firm believer that mike was straight cause yk i love throwing away all my suspicions that were raised while watching season 4 yk i love just forgetting everything đ
and THEN one faitful day in july i was over at my friends house (The same gril who made me wtch stranger things) and we were watching gay stranger things edits on tiktok (as ya do) and GIRLIE
there was one edit- (and usually as i was watching these compilations i would just ignore the byler stuff and-) it was a rink-o-mania edit
need i say more
i saw that look
i SAW THAT LOOK
and i knew
we paused the video immediately and were like "well- i mean i know that mike is straight-" "yeah exactLy-" "but-" "but-" "but right there-" "yeah i dont know that-" "that seemed pretty gay-" "but mike is straight, right?" "yeah- yeah..- mike is straight..." "yeah..." "...yeah..."
literally how it went
anyways so then im like- its running thorugh my head all evening and like- that sole video was enough to like 99% convince me he was gay- like cmon fellas lets be real here. anyways so yeah i was now 99% convinced that mike was gay or not straight yk (im a gay mike truther now) and we talked about it for a lil and
yeah so then i started paying more attention to the byler posts on my pinterest page and i started reading theroies, all of which were tumblr screen shots and i started really convinceing myself- still was on the fence but-
the one post, and one of the first posts that i read. and the post that conviced me was "Why I no longer think Mike Wheeler is Bi, but Gay" yk the iconic post from @kaypeace21? yeah so i read that and was like "fuck im convinced" and then i proceeded to read the entirety of the byler slides over the course of a 3 day period and fully fully convinced myself
and yeah i kept looking at theories on pinterest screen shotted from tumblr and yk byler was my everything (and still very much is) and i loved pinterest and spent all of my time on there and- đ i read- i read w- wh- wattpad fics đđ BUT ITS OKAY because i actually found a pretty good collection of one shots on there but- nah man after one specific fic i found i had to call it quits cause i couldnt handle it anymore đđđđ
and then i found one poster on pinterest that would just do daily updates on the byler tag on tumblr and eventuallyyyyyy i decided tumblr looked really fun and i was tired of just watching afar tired of WAVING FROM A WINDOW WOOOOAAHHHOWOWAHHHOOOHHH
yeah so i decided enough was enough and i wanted to be directly at the source and part of the action
and now im here <33333
and yeah so i have officially upgraded from Pinterest and Wattpad⢠to AO3 and Tumblr⢠and thank the lord too đđ
@l0v3c0r3e peer presuring you into reading this entire unit of a post
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1, 10, and 15 for the choose violence ask game :)
THIS IS A LONG ONE SORRY. I guess I had violence in my heart.
1. The character everyone gets wrong
Ok im aware this is like the most predictable answer for me but its true. CLARA!!! People don't get her at all and it absolutely infuriates me, because she's pretty much the only companion in nuwho who is hated to this extent (ie, people saying mean shit about her on my posts ABOUT HER) Oh does she annoy you by having the exact same traits as the doctor? Do you not like her egotistical and controlling behavior? I wonder why. Perhaps there is a point there.
Sidenote - it annoys me when people will call her a mary sue and simultaneously get mad at her being an asshole and yk, having character flaws, as if those terms aren't mutually exclusive & her hyper-competence that gets read as "mary sue" isn't an intentional choice by the narrative and a result of her being DEEPLY unwell in other aspects of her life.
I feel like a lot of people judge her based on the second half of s7 which, to be fair, is awful and I don't think they knew what they were doing with her yet. But in the context of her whole run she is genuinely one of the most evocative characters to come out of doctor who for me, especially in the way she serves as a kind of commentary and subversion of companions as a whole. I genuinely could talk about clara forever but yeah I do feel like a lot of the hate comes from the fact that people Don't Get Her.
And then among fans who do there's always a risk that they see her as this blank slate twee girl to self-project onto which again, to be fair, is how she was written in season 7. But so many things from supposed fans of her as well that I'll read and be like she would not fucking say that. she does not have the emotional awareness to say that. and/or she is not like a uwu quirky shy girl she would fucking speak her mind about that. She is deranged and I love her. I have to shut up abt clara or this will be the whole post.
10. Worst part of fanon
I honestly cant get TOO annoyed with doctor who fanon because i am a comics fan AND a danny phantom fan and its surprisingly common practice for people in both those fandoms to be a "fan" of something they have not consumed the media for in any form, resulting in this horrible mess of fanon with no connection to what makes the original compelling. + doctor who is such a mess of canon anyway basically everything has been canon at some point even if its shit.
But I think in the end the worst part of DW fanon is, like all fanon, the flattening of really compelling characters to fit trope archetypes. I see this especially with tenrose, where they're just turned into this kind of generic ship that you can plug n play into any situation with little connection to the interesting ways they actually behave in canon.
As a kind of interesting reversal, though, fanon will often expand out dw's most generic characters (ie most chibnal companions. sorry), but only for the purposes of shipping and not in ways I myself find particularly interesting. Like imo Yaz is probably the least developed chibnal companion but pretty much the only one I see expanded on in this way because of the shipping potential.
15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time
im probably gonna get slaughtered for this but i think maybe weve had enough crowley in doctor who outfits or 10 meeting crowley fanart. maybe im bitter because i dont really care about the GO show and I feel like it fills up the dw tag to the brim these days
#THANK YOU for ask and thank you those who read everything#i just got back from rosh hashana services with rage in my hearts apparently#warlock wartalks
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i dont really know who or how many people check my blog for updates on where im at with my writing and stuff but in honor of starting to come out of the fog im just going to like. level, really quick. writing is a personal affair intricately tied to what were coping with at the time so as i give updates for what i have planned im also going to talk about shit im going through so heres your warning now
you might have seen it in the a/n for brothers return for the whole ten seconds it was there before i backspaced it out of existence but a family member of mine died in october and writing- living, really- has been almost impossible since. its only just now starting to get easier.
we finally spread the ashes a couple weeks ago or so now and it feels. lighter, now. easier to breathe. i have his art hanging in my bedroom and im going to see my cousins again in a week and my foot is broken so i have all new things to focus on, and its. yknow. we move forward.
ive written a couple of things between now and october but looking at them they feel... short, and hollow, and i can tell i wasnt feeling what i was writing even though i convinced myself at the time that it was good enough. theres a very good chance ill try and rewrite brothers return and the second robin (i HATE those titles btw), because i feel like theyre fics that need to happen but its also. SO hard to write about resurrection when youre grieving?? lol??? like. someone in my life died and im never getting him back and now i have to put myself in dicks shoes where he DOES get jason back and its just. thats not easy, man. its suddenly become an almost impossible topic. but im hoping, now, that maybe i can finally reconnect with it and rewrite it in a way im actually satisfied with
snow day i will straight up be dubbing noncanon from now on. i doomed myself the second i wrote son of dent and made it so harvey and bruce have to not be dating the entire fucking time jasons a kid and ive managed to keep to that pretty well so far adn find wiggle room here and there but snow day was really. sldkjfnslkdnfsdf its a plot hole. its a huge plot hole. i wrote it because i wanted to write something that felt good not something that made sense and i SUCCEEDED but man does it not make sense. so im just gonna be striking it from the canon and keeping it up regardless.
moving into future fics, though. i dunno, man. i finally plotted out that detective au ive wanted to write for ages but its gonna be long and im scared to start it.
i did read all of damians preboot comics (or at least, the ones on the list i was given) (id read some before and ive read some n52 ones already so this was just filling in the last of the gaps (mostly his origin story)) and filled in the last of the preboot timeline (post jasons resurrection, idc about anything before that) so i feel prepared to write the next installment of the jdau, whatever that is, but i havent decided exactly what that is. itll probably be al ghul centric, tho. thats all i know tho! thats all i know
but i guess. keep your expectations low. im figuring things out. might reopen prompt requests soon tho, and im trying my absolute best
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im gonna just send u these in a little bulk and you can do em whenever u want, anyway, ryomina teratophilia n dacryphilia <3
Is this good? I donât know at this point. But was it fun to write? Yes! I wrote it as a personal gift to myself for my birthday, so I went full guilty pleasure, self-indulgent, personal favorite thoughts sort of angle. I just wanted my favorite personal Ryoji form included lol. Also! Shout out to SleepyCoffeeOwl on Ao3! Who was nice enough to read over a bit of this beast for me! They helped me fix up a few things about this lil story, so Iâm very grateful to them.
Also! While I will be rather busy around halloween, If you make/made a request I promise Iâll get to it! Iâll write into November if I need lol. So feel free to ask away until the 31st!
Kinktober prompt list: Here
Kinktober masterlist: Here
CW: Predator/prey, teratophilia, at least a little dacryphilia, overstimulation, dubcon yet again, size difference, cum inflation, canonicity is very loose. My own monster design,
With a sigh, Minato Arisato trailed behind Junpei and Yukari as they patrolled the silent streets of the dark hour. Watching the smaller, less hostile shadows skitter away from them, or stare at the trio as they went, admiring the rotund moon hanging in the sky, and breathing in the stale, cold air.
It was boring.
Not his work as a SEES member, that was always interesting on some level, even when he was doing little else but strolling around in the oddly colored night. No, what was boring was not having his mp3 player to occupy his mind on their patrols.
Not from lack of trying, though. The blue-haired emo had tried all that he could think of to bargain, barter, threaten, and even proposition Mitsuru to put a plume of dusk into his mp3 player so that it functioned like her bike.
It went over about as well as youâd expect. So, while Yukari and Junpei were going back and forth with their semi-flirting bickering ahead of him, Minato simply found another way to entertain himself. watching the small hand creatures skitter about like some fucked up version of rats, or the whispy clouds that hung in the vibrant sky, or played I-spy with himself.
At least, until his mindless daydreaming made him run into a suddenly tense Yukari. âWhatâs going on?â he asked, noticing that Junpei had his broad sword at the ready, so he went ahead and pulled out his katana. Scanning the silent streets ahead of them for any sign of threat until Junpei finally whispered, âI think someone, or something, is ahead of us.â nodding towards an alley further down the sidewalk, where a soft shuffling could be heard in the stagnant air. âMinato, why donât you go check it out? Youâre the one with all of the personas. Youâd have a better chance if itâs hostile.â Yukari suggested, getting a scowl from the shaggy-haired wildcard before he pushed past them. Whispering to her as he went, âJust admit youâre scared.â and not hanging around to let her hiss out some indignant venom.
Instead, he crept forward with his weapon drawn and his senses keen for any sudden sounds. Though, in an odd twist, there wasnât any sound. Outside of the shuffing and pained whimpering of whatever was in the alley, the street had gone as still and silent as a grave. Thatâs a new one. He thought, but mostly brushed it off and kept his focus on the potential enemy. Though, when he got close enough to the alleyway to press himself to the brick wall of the store, the first thing he noticed wasnât blood, the sound of ripping flesh, or aything like that, but the strong scent of graveyard dirt and decay.
That wasnât normal. While the dark hour had a cold, stale taste to the air, sometimes with the tinge of iron or still water, it never smelled so clearly of decay.
Yet, when Minato peeked around the brick wall of the coffin-filled store, he didnât find any shadows ripping someone apart, or even Strega dealing with a fresh corpse. Only a brunette man in a vibrant yellow scarf curled into the fetal position on the dingey alley floor. âRyoji?â He asked, his defenses dropping along with his sword, Junpei and Yukari giving squawks of, âRyoji?!â To mimic his own, but he waved them off. Keeping them at a distance as he stepped closer to the late-semester transfer student. Trying with a gentler edge to his flat voice, âHey, are you okay, Ryoji? Are you hurt? Scared?â Which, got him no reply. So, he took another step closer and knelt down to put a hand on the brunetteâs shoulder.
And that was when he reacted. Ryojiâs voice, usually sing-song and light as a feather, burst out in a guttural snarl that felt as if it physically knocked Minato back. âGet away from me, Minato!â Yet, at the same time that his words were deep and forceful, the sharp edge of pleading rang in the wildcardâs head like a bell. âHuh?! The fuck do you mean? If youâre hurt, I need to help! Otherwise, youâll get your ass eaten! And not in the way you like.â He snapped back, returning to his feet while Ryoji tried to drag himself away from the man. Which, was the most unnerving part of the encounter. Seeing a man who usually greeted Minato like a hyper dog seemingly power through hellish pain to escape him. Fucking ouch. âMochizuki, get your ass back here right now-â âNO!â
That time, his voice knocked the breath from Minato like a punch to the gut. Some small part of his long-numbed brain getting frazzled. Awakening a dose of dread that the blue-haired man hadnât felt for eleven long years. âWhat...the fuck?âŚâ He breathed out, a hand on his chest to steady his frantic heart rate as his storm-colored eyes watched the brunette curl into a ball against the back wall like a beaten dog. Shaking like a leaf in a tornado, with...blood? on his hands. âRyoji. Are you okay?â He asked, stepping closer again, his annoyance and confusion put aside for concern. âPlease...leave me alone. RunâŚâ Ryoji said, his voice quieter, that time. Less hostile, yet still powerful enough to make the blue-haired wildcard shiver in a mix of excitement and fear. But, he ignored his pleas and pushed through the odd sensation.
He took another step closer, reaching for the brunette again. But, before he could grab Ryoji to try and pull him out of the passage, the cowering man screamed. Startling the persona user again, but not nearly as much as the bloody, slimey appendage that ripped itself from Ryojiâs back with a sick, wet ripping sound. âMinato?! What the hell is going on?!â Yukari asked, closer than she had been. âStay back!â He snapped back, not letting his stormy eyes leave what turned out to be a fucking wing. Ryoji was growing wings, but not only one or two, but four. The transfer student whoâd been so desperate to befriend him wasnât human. âR-Ryoji?â He tried again, his voice almost a whisper. Inwardly wincing at the edge of anxiety in his words. âWhat...whatâs going on?â He asked, stepping back as he spoke. Watching as the boy cried and contorted in pain. His body bulging and shifting beneath his skin and clothes, his face twisting into a sick grin as his teeth fell out and his eyes darkened. It was almost too horrifying to watch, yet kept Minatoâs eyes glued to his classmate. Rooted to the spot by the pained, inhuman shrieks to watch what was human only a moment ago, slowly turn into something more beastial. Something that made Yukari shriek behind Minato.
And just like that. The spell was broken.
Turning on his heel, Minato bolted like a rabbit from a wolf. Blind of where he was going, just knowing that he couldnât stay, and that he couldnât stay with Junpei or Yukari. Though, he was vaguely aware that the duo seemed to follow his lead, each haring off from the scene of the crime the moment they saw Minato fleeing the alcove between buildings. Though, the wildcardâs adrenaline wasnât racing out of fear exactly, In the frantic rush to get away, enough clarity was there to identify that much.
No, the midnight-haired emo wasnât running out of some fear of dying to whatever creature Ryoji was becoming, but simply because it was what felt right. After all, while not knowing what the hell his classmate was, he was damned sure of one thing. He was predatory.
So, the wildcard ran for all his training with Akihiko was worth. Down dark alleys, empty streets. Dodging immobile cars and caskets housing the normal citizens of Tatsumi port, he let that odd, amoral rush of excitement and dread push him further. His feet pounding into the asphalt, his blood rushing in his ears, and his mind racing with alternating thoughts of Gotta get away, and Oh god I hope heâs chasing me. Like the two most primal parts of himself were battling within him. Yet, only one got its wish. âMina! Come back!â Ryojiâs voice called from the silent street behind him. The sing-song sugar back in his words, but the impact of his words wasnât entirely softened. Whatever was calling to him may have been Ryoji Mochizuki, but he wasnât the Ryoji he knew.
Which...was thrilling.
The rush of dread was overtaken by the buzz of giddiness at that point. Making Minatoâs breaths puff out in gasps as he hooked around a corner and ran down another thin passage to a new street. Fueled by the rush he got each time the monsterâs voice called out, âMina! Funeral lily! Come here! I wonât hurt you!â âPlease! I just want to see you! Mina!â With what Minato thought might be an exilerating edge of desperation. God what the hell am I doing?! That thingâs not human! I shouldnât be aroused at it chasing me! He scolded himself, trying to get his barrings on whatever perverse side of himself was muddying his thoughts, but that didnât stop that voice from arguing, Okay, but heâs capable of intellegent speech, and whatever it is WAS Ryoji ten minutes ago. It wouldnât be a sin-
The thought was shoved away. Minato was no stranger to odd hook-ups, but a classmate who turned into a shadow? That was enough to make his stomach itch with shame.
Yet, in his thoughtless weaving between streets and coffins, Minato realized that he had managed to lose track of where he was. Even when he tried to spot identifiable landmarks as he ran, nothing looked even vaguely familiar. The full, yellow-green moon doing nothing to clear up the thick shadows, and the air that stung Minatoâs lungs still tasted of decaying leaves and graveyard dirt. It shouldnât have, though. After all, he was running down a dark street lined with houses, not graveyards or dead trees. If the dark hour hadnât been in effect, the place wouldâve been nothing more than your average, well-off culdesac.
Yet, the dark hour was in effect. So, instead of a peaceful neighborhood with an HOA, the green-tinted street was full of dark nooks and the peering eyes of whatever courageous monsters dared peer out of their hidey holes.
Yet, that was all the shadows did. Thatâs all that they had done ever since Ryoji had turned into...whatever he became. Even with Minato disoriented from confusion and weakening from exhuastion, no shadows dared try to attack.
So, with legs like jello, and the coordination of a baby deer, the blue-haired man almost involuntarily slowed to a stop at the end of the block. Peering around at the houses and yards that blocked his escape. Steadying his breathing as best he could to try and focus on the eerie silence of the eerie neighborhood to try and pick out any suspicious squeak or tap on the asphalt or houses.
Nothing.
Even the usual ambiance of shadows going about their usual existence, or the stirring of air under, assumedly, Ryojiâs new wings had been mute for...however long. Thatâs not good, is it? Minato asked himself, looking behind himself as he thought. What does it mean when a monster scares the other shadows? Even the arcana shadows had smaller shadows in their areas. He thought, his wide, stormy eyes studying every non-descript lump of darkness before turning his head back around. Only to feel the tickle of heaving, night-scented feathers on the tip of his nose.
Sitting before him, pale mask smiling down at Minato from an impressive height, was that human-bird abomination that was Ryoji.
How the fuck did he get here?! Was the shaggy-haired manâs first panicked thought, only for another to rear-end that blip of as soon as heâd had it. How close has he been this entire time?Did I ever even lose him? Was he only messing with me by letting me run? Are Mitsuru and the others okay? Are they alive?! And many more piling up like a car wreck until all the man could do was tilt his head back numbly to look up at the beast that was once a lovesick classmate.
With that same wind-brushed hairstyle Ryoji wore with two twinges jutting up like antennae. A mask-like face of snow white with bottomless pits for eyes and an eerie, toothless smile. Not to mention skin that--Minato took a step back without realizing it. It was grotesque. That skin so black, as black as obsidian stretched over a large, human upper body that was no longer an average, soft weight, but emaciated. It was like the goofy man had morphed into some feverish nightmare. A feverish nightmare that now sat in front of him in the flesh. With his four large, dark feathered wings shimmering with unearthly color in the green light at any small movement, and two...were they legs, since he had human arms? Hind legs? Of a bird. Each four-toed foot adorned with claws sharp enough to slice chromium like hot butter.
If it wasnât for the voice whispering in the wildcardâs head about the looming beast being a predator, he wouldâve seemed kind of cute with how he sat. Watching the wildcard with his legs out in front of him when the man all but fell on his ass to crawl away from him. âR-Ryoji?...â Minato tried, the tentative word little more than a lustful-fear-choked croak in the stillness of the green night. Yet, it seemed to be all the invitation the shadow needed. Reaching for the blue-haired persona user with boney, clawed fingers to pluck him off of the asphalt while he tried to scramble back to his feet.
Not that running anymore would have done any good. After all, it had only taken Minato looking away for a brief moment for the beast to be mere centimeters in front of his face. It didn't take a rocket scientist to calculate the chances of his escape.
But, that didnât stop the blue-haired man from writhing and fighting to get out of the monsterâs hand. Even resorting to trying to bite him, though to no avail. All he managed to do was exhaust himself. All the while, Ryoji stared down with his bottomless eyes like his attacks were nothing. As if Minato was only laying limp in his palm. Only stilling him with a series of cooes, trills and trapping Minato under his thumb so he could use a claw to gently cut through the mortals clothes.
He was cutting Minatoâs clothes off. âH-hey! Donât do- Stop that!â The wildcard squawked, his cheeks burning with a melancholy mix of skin-tingling excitement and cold disgust. Swatting at whatever he could reach to stop the shadow from stripping him like some lewd doll. But, for all his fighting, the blue-haired emo only got was a happy, sing-song trill from the beast. Allowed to kick and snap to his heart's content since, with his midsection trapped, it was all in utter vain. Yet, he still tried. Minato fought for all he was worth to worm his way to freedom, or at all dissuade the bird-thing.
Yet, all that got him was a sweat by the time the beast finally slipped the now-ruined school pants from his body. No progress in his fight for freedom, just tired, with a nagging sense of blood-thrumming fear. All Minato could do was slam his fist down on Ryojiâs hand and plead, with rain threatening to fill his cloudy eyes. âPlease...Ryoji, please donât.â Only to get a gentle shushing, like a soft breeze through the trees on a quiet night, and an affectionate chirp in response. Before the masked monster lowered his head, and a long, wet tongue slithered out from the mouth of his eerie mask. âHold on, what- what are you- Ah!â
Leaving a slick trail of warm saliva in its wake, the tip of the shadowâs long tongue languidly slid from his asshole, up and over his groin. Coming to a stop below his ribcage where a ripple of shame continued to Minatoâs burning face at how the slow drag of the wet muscle over his pale skin made his stomach flutter. Oh god, am I...am I ACTUALLY into this? Minato thought, trying again to wriggle out of the shadowâs hold. What is that supposed to mean? How is this even registering as hot in the first place?! But, those questions got shunted into the depths of his mind for later when Ryojiâs monstrous form circled its tongue around Minatoâs member. Letting out a whine from whatever mouth that perpetual smile hid. as if disappointed that the 5â6 persona user didnât have the proportions toâŚwhat? Fuck him with? Ryoji, I swear to god if I survive this encounter, we will be having such a talk.
Yet, that moment wasnât the right one for questions. The priority in that moment was to try and bite back the pleasure flowing into his stiffening member. Yet, the slick warmth, flexing muscles, and calculated movements worked together to pick off each one of the wildcardâs mental defenses regardless.
And, there was no way Ryoji was clueless about what he was doing. Even though Minato saw nothing but a void of endless darkness when he looked into those eyes, he could tell from the beastâs use of that cursed, blue-black tongue that the squeezing and stroking was 100% intentional. Curated specifically to deftly increase the hellfire under his skin until his rational thoughts were overrun with that familiar headrush of need.
The monsterâs tongue worked him until Minatoâs attempts to get free of the thumb pinning him had devolved into thoughtless pants and humping into the moist heat. The more aggressive those lewd impulses became, the foggier Minatoâs thoughts became. And in turn, the less he could focus on fighting, or even his own shame.
At least, that was the logic Minato could piece together to rationalize his predicament. That was all he could do, after all. Lay in the beastâs hand, pinned beneath his thumb. Fighting for some coherent thought while his hips twitched and moved with Ryoji's tongue in a disgraceful dance. Until, despite his attempts to stall, the bubbling rush of excitement crept in. âRyoji! W-wait, Iâm gonna cum!â Minato yelled, sure to wince at how whiney and desperate he sounded later. But, in that moment of forbidden bliss, when the friction and technique won against his denials and rationale, all he could do was claw into the creature as his stomach clenched and shuddered with pulsing pleasure.
In the aftermath, Minato hadnât even the energy to contemplate what had happened. All he could do was let his head loll back and gulp in desperate breaths of nearly-stale night air. Meanwhile, his captor lapped up whatever stray squirt managed to escape him. And Minato let him. Letting the warm weight of the shadowâs tongue press into his body while he tried to will the stability back into his gelatinized legs.
Yet, in that moment of leisure, what Minato didnât expect, was the cool asphalt to be what touched his stomach next. But, sure enough, when his storm-grey eyes snapped open he no longer looked into the tornado-green sky, but down an abandoned road. Still ladden with thick shadows and no sign of life outside of the rumbling and shifting weight of the human-bird abomination above him. Those noises soon giving way to a more gut-twisting soundtrack that was all too familiar to the man.
The sound of bones crunching and cracking. Of muscle tissue tearing apart like a fork tender roast.
He didnât dare look back to see the explanation. Minato didnât even think of his lack of clothing as his feet scrambled against the unyielding blacktop. The only thing on his mind for those precious few seconds was Run! Oh god, get out of the car!
Before, the frantic train of thought crashed on its tracks. Minato kept from his freedom by a firm, yet measured weight pinned his belly back to the road. And, while the shadowâs hand was smaller, big enough to hold onto the back of Minatoâs neck to keep him in place on the rough terrain, but not engulf his entire body, he could still feel how much of the beastâs strength Ryoji held back. âStay. Put.â Came the order. Whispered in a melodious voice that was equal parts smooth and soothing, and gutteral. Like a verbal shot of cinnamon. Spicy, yet still capable of luring out a small whimper from the wildcard. The power in those two words reverberated through Minato. Snatching away the courage to fight, and replacing it with a taboo bolt of enticing fear. Which, was a feat. Considering the emo was rarely intimidated by the horrific creatures in the dark hour, yet, with Ryojiâs clawed hand around his throat and his masked face close enough for his warm breaths to stir the edge of the persona userâs shaggy fringe, his pride couldn't help but take a back seat to the mingling and mixing of fear, disgust, and desire.
Yet, he didnât get much time beyond that to beat himself up for cowing down to a monster, or how his dick twitched. Because once the beast was sure he wasnât going to try and bolt again, his hands were back to exploring Minatoâs body. Feeling along every scar and curve as his face nuzzled into the manâs neck to lap at his skin and drink in the scent of his lavender body wash. Meanwhile, Minato could hear his talons clicking on the paved road while the monster adjusted his size and stance. Keeping himself large enough to pin his prey, but judging from what parts of his body the wildcard could feel lifting his hips or puffing against his neck, small enough so that he wouldnât kill him. Once satisfied, though, his face finally dislodged from the persona user's neck. Instead trailing mimed kisses down his spine. So, taking the opportunity to sate curiosity, Minato took stock of what he could through the storm of uneasy pleasure and disgust.
The first thing, was the utter lack of any noise. Even with it feeling as if the Dark Hour should end, the plump moon hung overhead in the sky, so the streets still lacked the usual night life. Secondly, and more worrying, was that despite Ryoji's reveal as a monster, the brush of a barbed something against his ass still made Minato's cock twitch again.
Ryoji lifted him off of the pavement. Abruptly dragging him out of his contemplation and back to his position as the plaything of a semi-human bird creature. Who, when the wildcard looked, had sat back on his hind legs to calculate how to go about the next step. Yet, whatever thoughts might be going through Ryojiâs monstrous head was secondary to the...member Minato saw between the creatureâs legs.
After all, with a softer pink skin tone to contrast the ebony color painted onto Ryojiâs skeletal frame and soft barbs going down its length, it was hard to miss. Tapered at one end, drooling a thick precum, the appendage didnât quite look like a human dick. But watching it twitch while he was placed over him, it didnât take a rocket scientist to guess its use. âH-hey, wait! Ryoji, thatâs too- Fuck!â
Regardless of his words, the monster pushed him down onto the odd cock. Stretching and filling the blue-haired mortal to the point of sparks of pain. Thankfully only pushing a little over the âtipâ in, but against Ryoji's cool, skeletal chest, the squirt of heat that filled Minatoâs stomach was overwhelming. Bringing more tears to his dark eyes as he clawed into Ryojiâs hand, Jesus, how big is he at this point?, while the monster ground into Minatoâs ass until the blue-haired man breathed out a quiet moan.
That was all it took. One small sign of possible consent, and the shadow was fluttering his wings and pushing him further down his length until Minato gasped and yelped, âR-Ryoji!â Throwing his head back and clawing into the monster that held his midsection. Yet, any concern he was going to voice escaped him. Because, as he stared up into the bottomless eyes of that pale mask, and the thickening cock slipped deeper inside of him, pleasure overtook him. The barbs added a delicious bit of extra drag over every sensitive inch of Minatoâs body they managed to reach, and It was breathtaking. the lascivious mix of pain and pleasure, leaving no more room for fears of the consequences.
Instead, the only fear Minato could find as he was drug up and down Ryoji's cock only heightened the thrill. All he could focus on was how helpless, full, hot, and good he felt. Shaking with pain from how he was being stretched, but at the same time, Ryojiâs cock never seemed to miss a weak spot. The barbs brushing along his clenching walls, flooding his blood with a fresh bout of fiery thunder with each drag. All the while, the curve of the dick allowed the tip to grind perfectly against Minatoâs prostate when the bird monster moved right. The disgust at being a shadow's toy would come later. For now, Minato lost himself in the stomach-tightening bliss.
All the while, Ryoji smiled down at him, puffing out breaths and growling with his own pleasure. Keeping a careful hold on Minato as to not squeeze his guts out, and letting the smaller male claw into his fingers against the pain. Not seeming to care for a second. even when the emo managed to break skin a little bit, all he seemed worried about was the lewd moans and whimpers Minato gave, and the wet schlick schlick schlick of his cock working its way into the mortal until no more could be squeezed into him.
He only paused his pursuit of every possible sound Minato could make once. Right when the wildcard felt as if he was about to unravel a second time that night. âWhat the fuck?!â was the thoughtless snap that delay got. Minato's chest heaving, his hair a mess from sweat, and his grey eyes flashing with impatience when he snarled up at his captor. Yet, all the shadow did to his annoyance was snort. Wiping away the tears that had started trailing down Minatoâs cheeks in the heat of the moment. Lifting his hand back to the grinning mouth of his pale mask, the monster lapped up the salty tears and cooed down at the mortal. As if to thank him for something. Admittedly, through the haze of nearing orgasm and taboo mixing of pain and dread, it was hard to tell.
Then, without missing a beat, he was back to thrusting into Minato. Trilling when the mortal gave a startled mix of a moan and a yelp. Though, this time, the monsoon of hot pleasure and satisfying fullness didnât stop. Even when more tears escaped Minatoâs usual impeccable control, Ryoji would only trill as he ground into him. Dragging him along the barbs of his inhuman cock with increasingly unsteady hands. But, to Minato's gratitude, the soft bristles kept the human-bird abomination from speeding up.
Yet, even when his inky wings flared out and flapped in some mindless search for leverage, he kept going. The unyielding onslaught of euphoria breaking down the emoâs shame. Going and going without a sign of break. Flooding him with euphoria until an electrical current soaked into Minatoâs muscles. Arching his back in the monsterâs hand as a yowl ripped from him. Partially out of pain, but also born from the crescendo of bliss that rushed to his head at last.
Yet, the wildcard didnât get to enjoy his orgasm for long. That rush of dopamine immediately gobbled up by a harsh sting of pain that increased the further past his limit Ryoji pushed him. âRy...ojiâŚâ He muttered. Squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the way being so full soured from a pleasing burn, to a colder pain. Yet, the winged shadow was too far away to hear him. Continuing to drag him along his ridged cock like a toy. Enjoying the whines, tears, and hisses just as much as Minato's moans and pants.
Again, all Minato could do was whine and plead to the discolored night. His words lost on his captor, and his strength ebbing in the acidic waves of masochistic pleasure. Clinging to those sparks of dark need to keep him from passing out or letting the aches and stings of Ryoji's member stretching him overwhelm him.
Regardless, though, the wildcard hung on. Focusing on whatever he could to keep his shaking body from going too limp or his vision from going too dark. Until, at long last, Ryojiâs wings flared out a final time and gave a shudder as he pumped what felt like molten lava into Minatoâs body. Overwhelming his senses once more with sensations. Ryoji, meanwhile, throbbed inside of him. Panting against Minato's back and letting out small noises into the discolored night as his four wings quivered and shimmered.
He was beautiful, in that odd, sad sort of way you might find a body in a casket to be beautiful. The shimmering of his feathers subsided, his pale mask contrasting against his dark skin. It was as if he demanded all Minatoâs focus, even as he did little more than coo and chirp down at the wildcard in sleepy affection. Though, perhaps that focus was Minatoâs encroaching loss of consciousness.
#Ryomina#Kinktober#Persona 3#persona#Kinktober 2023#ask#scenario#self-indulgent#noncanon monster form#spicy#monster!Ryoji#Ryoji Mochizuki x Minato Arisato#Ryoji Mochizuki x Makoto Yuuki#lemon#Ryoji Mochizuki#au of sorts#Makoto Yuuki#Ryoji Mochizuki x Male!Persona 3 protagonist#not sfw#Minato Arisato#male!Persona 3 protagonist#personal ideas
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debating whether i want to make this fic harder for myself in the name of lore accuracy
like...daeran canonically knows lander labeda. i COULD add the guy as a side character daeran meets when he's younger, he'd fill the role i'd need and it would be a proper callback and im trying not to make too many non-canon randos
hOWEVER. i played kingmaker last over a year ago and every time ive ever played it i took one look at lander, thought 'this dude has I WILL BETRAY YOU written in neon letters on his forehead' and left him in the first scene after i became baron. i know shit about this guy.
is it worth the painstaking process of playing kingmaker in 10 minute increments to learn more about this fucker just so he can play a bit part in daeran's character development??? should i just take the lazy way out and make up a guy for the role??? like im so scared im gonna put in all this fucking effort and it's going to turn out that lander's actually like competent and not obviously a snake and im just misremembering him, or he mentions something about having never left brevoy in his life before kingmaker which shits on the whole idea anyway
#cassy bitches#don't mind me just hashing out some Writing Thoughts on the daeran fic#the pain and troubles of not just being able to boot up the game and easily look for this shit myself đ
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Dude your Jaya hanahakai au is everything. If you're not gonna write that uhhhh can I???? 'Cause it's so creative and intricate. Utter genius bro
Also I really love the unrequited/stay friends ending and the requieted ending. They're both just so good and so well thought out (i also dont want jay to die lmao). Also YES!!! GIVING NYA AGENCY!! You put so much consideration into her feelings and it's making me bark like a feral little dog. Like the worst thing about skybound is how it treats Nya as a character and I just shhdjdjd. This is driving me insane. Ninjago's writing makes me ill but yours has me on my knees.
THANK YOU.............. DRAMATICALLY FALLS TO MY HANDS AND KNEES..... SWEET FEEDBACK AND BOOST TO MY EGO.... i was insane while writing that entire au too.
ALSO ITS FUNNY... I WROTE SO MUCH ABOUT NYAS FEELINGS IN THIS AU BECAUSE IT WAS ENTIRELY NECESSARY. LIKE. I HAD TO. especially for requited end. i knew when i got to that point in the story where i had to address i knew it in my heart that this was like. the most important part. nyas feelings are so important in this au.... and i knew without proper explanation/justification of nyas feelings of why she falls in love with jay again the au Simply Would Not Work. all that consideration is me doing the intense relationship math (math? i dunno. its a process of some sort.) TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE THEM WORK. because if anything. jaya should is a relationship that requires work. not effortless in the slightest.
i love jaya. its technically a terrible romance. fucking absolutely wretched and tormented by obligatory heterosexual writing. it only exists because straight writers Have to write het tax into their shows for some goddamn reason. but also. its the ship of all time. its because im delusional and have thought about it so much and put so much thought into how their relationship should BE and also wrote so much meta and shit to fill in the massive gaps in their relationship that canon doesnt address or skips over. YOU SEE JAYA IS ACTUALLY SO FUCKING INTERESTING AS A RELATIONSHIP. ITS SO INTERESTING BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY ACTUALLY HAVE VERY LITTLE CHEMISTRY AS COUPLE. AND YET AND YET AND YET. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY GET TOGETHER ON SUPERFICIAL TERMS. THEY BREAK UP. THEY GET TOGETHER AGAIN. BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. in my eyes they arent a perfect match for each other. actually. thats literally canon. jay isnt nyas perfect match (god i think about s3 so fucking much i hate it) but they love each other anyways and end up together in the end despite the things theyve gone through. i think theres something real about that. love that is mismatched and tried but they Work through it anyways. thats romance baby. theres something very romantic about love that takes effort (is the guy who is putting all the effort into the ship) (very delusional) (but very self aware about it)
jaya is like. a brain teaser. its like a fun puzzle for my brain to solve (fix) because its such a travesty in canon. the gordians knot of ninjago ships. i love thinking about it so much. i thought about it so much ive tricked myself into becoming a massive shipper who screams whenever they do something cute together
oh fuck im sorry i forgot to answer your question bc i got so fucking heated about jaya. its because im insane about them. it just happened. fuck. jaya............................ i love divorce...... anyways
YES you can write my au. because i certainly dont have the stamina to do it myself. i would like if you credited me for the idea tho if youre gonna use my plot beats. but otherwise? Feel Free. go nuts. i love fanfiction. i always think of my stories as fanfic anyways and man i sure do wish i could read my own au as a fic. but i lack the capacity to write this beast of an au in full. so like. someone else might as well. if you do. have fun
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[parasocial bestie] to both responses on ur wip fics; i'm not a writer myself, like in a fic way altho i pour my brainrots out in a narrative way its a Mess, but i get what you mean!! it does feel like the more you stretch a story out there's bound to be a lot of loose ends and gaps you need to fill since you basically expanded it. in a way its how it is with drawing when you do big Big projects, having too much blank spaces over your main subjects without a decent background of the piece can get Annoying.
"i have my overall goal and less of an idea of how to reach it" OKAY BUT PERSONALLY? not even gonna relate genshin than my own original stories i always have this problem and still do, like. having a Beginning and End but literally almost no middle bc theres SO MUCH TO FILL and you have to think how it progresses chronologically And logically how it reaches the ending you imagined. it felt easy, it felt nice and 'complete', until you think of the middle and thats how i have stories that never finishes itself and stick to just throwing ideas around but unsure to put it as its canon or not o)-( so yeah!! the closest i can understand of a Process especially to long narratives.
ANYWAY THE,.... THE LUMINE ZHONGI @XIAO LYRICS,.... when hte,... when the UHUHUHUHUHUHSUHGUFHGUHUGSUDHFSKFHSKDJH
oh. yeah. i realized i did sorta sent a Bunch of brainrot BUT LIKE PREE MUCH EVERYTHGIN I HAD RELATED TO UM,.. AKFJHD THE XIAO DYING ONE OOPS cus,..... becus ughuhfjfdhgk its like a Big fav for me and am curious (and now i am a lil embarrassed JKAFHSDKFJH) and anyways i have a lot of Impulsive Brainrot Showers,....... scattered in that big one i told u cus of the Potential,....
also ill have u know during the recovery after xiao woke he can be a little cold bc the incident rlly shot down his physical constitution to nature so lumine covers him in a lil blanket over his shoulders that he can walk around with and that imagery is probably an Icon that represents the whole brainrot in general. blanket taco burrito xiao i think. anyway lumine got bored and did crochet, taught xiao how since its easier than knitting that thoma taught her, and the guy spent hours continuously crochetting a sheet like probably miles long till late at night bc lumine forgot teach him how to End the stitching. sweet lovely dumbass <3333
yes yes the expansion and more gaps to fill !!! that def makes sense with art too we are shaking hands rn... and idk when you have the filler/details planned beforehand it can be SO fun but when youre struggling to fill in the gaps. well. Fawk
admittedly cannot relate too too much with having a beginning and end, 80% of the time when i write i start from the middle there's just So Much Middle and then i dont know what goes where or how to connect it or what to make the beginning or end and and. explodes. actually tbf i have a solid beginning idea for both current wips and a half-decent ending for one of them but god help me figure out how the FUCK im gonna end the xiaolumi one i havent even thought about it yet it could honestly go on forever <- my worst nightmare.... stories that are never finished my BELOATHED i definitely get that god we are shaking hands once more
THAT'S ONE OF MY RLY OLD FAVORITE SONGS ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO. xiao when he sees himself as an object or a tool or a weapon or something horrible but never really a Person and the song captures that so well when you think of him and the uckfingfg.f the fuckifngfg.
explodes and dies
THE XIAO DYING ONE GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD hold on finishing responding to this first
cold man with a blanket over his shoulders what if i Cried. that is so perfect in every way shape and form dear LORD. and lumi teaching him crochet and forgetting to teach him how to end the stitching is both so cute and so fucking funny dear lord this poor man sitting there for hours going on and on and on........
XIAO ALMOST DYING. GOD.
i have too many thoughts on death and near death and grief. something about xiao not allowing himself to grieve or process that he'd really been dead for a moment there because he survived, it's in the past, what is there to worry about? what is there to think of? it doesnt matter anymore. lumine struggling to come to terms with how close it was, constantly pushing back the what-ifs, if she'd been sooner if she'd been later if she hadn't been able to help him the way she did if zhongli hadn't come if if if if. zhongli, so accustomed to deaths of those so dear to him and moving forward from it, still shaken to the core because no matter how many times it happens you never really get used to it. it doesnt ever get easier. similar to xiao, telling himself over and over that it doesnt matter, all that matters is that xiao is okay, there's no need to grieve or be upset when he's alright. it's pointless.
lumine (and paimon) (and probably also venti lbr) bonking them both on the head because its important to process your emotions, because the fact that xiao isnt dead doesn't just magically get rid of the fear and the grief that the situation created. yes we Are talking about our feelings you stupid fucks ignoring the elephant in the room will not make the elephant in the room disappear. ignoring your feelings will not make them vanish it will only allow them to fester and grow stronger and more destructive!!!!
you'd think that people who've been alive for thousands of years wouldve learned how to express themselves by now but lumine and venti have to really push them through it.
and idk. just. the physical repercussions and what that means for him mentally. the intense feelings of self hate and uselessness amplified by being stuck in bed, amplified by being unable to move and fight and function the way he used to, having to relearn such "basic" things. he would be SO hard on himself about it. he should be better than this, he shouldve avoided it, it never shouldve happened in the first place, he should be recovering faster (nevermind that he is recovering exceptionally quickly in the first place, all things considered. just adepti things). and working through all of that, working through the frustration and the helplessness, being shown endless patience and love and care through it all, i just. mmmmmmmmmmmmmgmnfmngmfngmfdgnmg fuck.
finding himself useful and kept around and maybe even cared for as a tool vs being very suddenly forced to face the reality that even when he cannot fulfill his duty, even when he cant fight, even when he has no "use" and cant fulfill what he sees as his purpose- he's alive. he's cared for. he's loved and learning and moving forward regardless.
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