#fuck yeah krampus

[ennaih]

Every Film I Watch In 2023:

236. Krampus (2015)

[thedarling]

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Merry Christmas

Christmas 2023 (Krampus x GN!Reader)

Chains and Whips

CW: Non-con, dub-con, bondage, anal, sadism, monster fucking, mild brat training, bratty reader, pain play, breaking and entering

"So... He's, like, a demon?" (Reader) took another sip of their cocoa while giving their friend a half jokingly judgemental look, squinting their eyes over their oversized mug. For the holidays (Reader) found themselves with nowhere to go, and ended up traveling with their best friend to her hometown. It was a tiny little place, cute, and very strange. (Reader) had, of course, heard about Krampus before but only because of B-rated horror movies, so seeing an entire village of people hanging up pictures of him alongside Santa Claus was a culture shock, to say the least. Stranger than the abundant Krampus merch was the fact that everyone spoke of it with respect, as though the creature was real, a respect not given to Santa.

"Well, no, kinda, but no." Johanna flicked her wrist as she spoke, eyes glazed and unfocused in the warmth of the heated living room. "Krampus is older than Saint Nicholas and Christianity."

It was difficult to stay awake, all bundled up under a mountain of blankets while the TV quietly played a movie in the background. Snow was falling outside, while children played in the setting sun, laughing outside Johanna's window.

"So, does he kidnap naughty children?"

"No, he beats them with a stick." She tiredly waved her hand in a whipping motion to illustrate her point, as though (Reader) didn't know what she meant by "beating".

"That sounds horrifying." (Reader) smiled, chuckling. Their eyelids were beginning to glue themselves shut.

"Yeah. During Krampusnacht boys like to dress up as him and try to scare people. I used to be terrified of him." Johanna rolled over and propped herself up, resting her head on her hand while sprawling out further on the warm couch across (Reader) on the adjacent lounge. "Thank God I was such a good kid!" She said cheekily.

(Reader's) grin grew. "Should I be in trouble then?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm naughty." (Reader) joked, wiggling their shoulders comically.

The young woman sat up. Her face had flipped instantly from silly to frustrated, swapping from a sleepy gaze for furrowed brows. "That's not funny, (Reader)."

Shocked by Johanna's sudden seriousness, (Reader) sat up as well, doubling down on the joke. "Should probably lock your door tonight, to keep me safe."

"Stop!" She whined, looking genuinely nervous.

"What?" (Reader) leaned forward, amused by their friend's reaction. "Are you really scared?"

"Yes!"

"Scared he's going to come punish me?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Krampus is real."

(Reader) wanted to push their friend a little further. This was the first time they had ever seen Johanna act in such a way. Johanna was a fearless woman, a badass who was a regular ole adrenaline junkie; the kind of person to jump out a plane without hesitation. And here she was, losing her patience over a mythological creature.

The dramatic young adult launched themselves off the couch and towards a window, swaying their hips theatrically. They threw open the window as far as it could go, cupping their mouth to amplify their voice out into the neighborhood, moaning;

"Oh no! I hope some big, hairy, Krampus doesn't come and punish me for being such a naughty little whore!"

"(Reader)!"

"Please, don't come punish me for being such a tight little cum slut!" (Reader) laughed as Johanna grabbed their arm, now giggling as well, albeit more out of nerves than honest joy.

"(Reader), please! I'm serious!" Johanna closed the window, forgetting to lock it as she was too busy looking over her shoulder at her ridiculous friend. "I swear to God, if I have to wake up in the middle of the night to save your life..!"

(Reader) wasn't done being obnoxious, shaking their ass as they pretended to run away in fear. "Oh no! Don't let him spank me! Oh noooo!"

Johanna grabbed a throw pillow and chucked it at (Reader's) head hard enough to make them lose their balance. "You would get fucking wrecked by Krampus."

"Yeah, my ass-"

"Wouldn't even last a second. You would lose a fight against a marshmallow, you aren't going to go up against an ancient being worshipped for centuries."

After falling back onto the couch (Reader) had chosen for their sleeping spot, they rolled their eyes, dropping the act. (Reader) wasn't actually a naughty person. Not only were they not "naughty" in the innocent definition of the word, being the kind of person to return other shoppers' carts they refused to put away themselves, but in the dirty sense they weren't particularly "naughty" either. (Reader) wasn't a virgin, just suffering from a dry spell. "Goodnight, Jojo."

"Goodnight! I set my alarm for five.'

"Ew!"

"I'll see you in the morning!"

"Nooooooo....."

Johanna left (Reader) for her childhood bedroom, leaving (Reader) in the dark living room, not entirely alone.

.........................

(Reader) wasn't asleep for long when the room became too unbearably cold, causing pins and needles in their legs that forced them to stand up. The time on their phone informed (Reader) that it was only one in the morning. They bundled up in the blanket Johanna provided and slipped into the kitchen to make a cup of decaf tea.

'Why's it so cold?' (Reader) shivered violently as they waited for the water to warm up enough for their drink. It was so warm before (Reader) passed out, that if the Christmas lights on the tree weren't still on they would have thought that there was a power outage. The water loudly began to sizzle in the electric kettle, making (Reader) panic, turning it off. They would have felt like shit if they accidentally woke up Johanna. Her grandparents were out of town, opting to go on a cruise during the holidays instead of hanging around in the cold to visit family, which (Reader) respected. They deserved to enjoy their retirement. Although they had never met, the older couple offered (Reader) their room, which (Reader) politely declined. Although (Reader) said that it was to respect their privacy, it was actually because (Reader) just didn't feel comfortable sleeping in someone else's bed.

The mug began to smell like tea instead of hot water as the bag steeped. (Reader) drank quickly, eager to warm up and get back to sleep. They peaked over at the clock on the oven.

1:00

It had taken almost ten minutes to make one cup of tea, but the time was still one am.

(Reader) felt a shiver crawl down their spine.

Before they could wrap their mind around the time, a rough hand with long, sharp nails, clasped over (Reader's) mouth, dragging them off the chair. The mug went flying, shattering against the tile flooring, along with the wooden chair tipping over and loudly clattering.

Despite the struggle and muffled screams, Johanna did not come down to (Reader's) rescue.

The lights that had been strung up on the tree were tied around (Reader's) arms, securing their hands behind their back. (Reader) fell unceremoniously to their knees.

Above them stood a giant shape in the dark. A tattered red cloak, chains and hooks, black fur..

Hooves sunk into the carpet of the living room. Black fur covered the majority of it's exposed body, and the skin that wasn't hairy was a dark grey with black discoloration. Large horns rose from his skull like a crown. His long, almost human face held a twisted smirk, split open just enough to show off his rows of sharp teeth. Within his primate sockets were goat like eyes, yellow and glowing in the dark.

Despite the heat of the bulbs pressed against (Reader's) arms, the terrified person felt colder than before.

Krampus.

He bent down, gently pressing his clawed thumb into (Reader's) mouth, rubbing his bitter tasting finger across their tongue as (Reader) sat shell shocked.

'He's real.'

(Reader) felt as he played with the wet insides of their mouth, only breaking out of their trance when his nail poked the sensitive wall of their inner cheek.

A surprised cry echoed throughout the house, earning a hand grabbing a fistful of (Reader's) hair, yanking their head back warningly. (Reader) bit down on the disgusting tasting hand as harshly as they could, but it only resulted in an amused chuckle. The creature's laugh was deep, rumbling like thunder in his chest.

He released (Reader) and effortlessly pulled his thumb out from their teeth. One of the many chains with hooks was uncoiled from the demon's shoulder and thrown to his cloven feet.

"Hey, wait-!" (Reader) protested as they were lift up and placed on their feet with only one hand. Their pajama bottoms were pulled down around their ankles, taking their underpants with them. "Stop!"

The hook Krampus had prepared was picked back up, the stench of his body becoming overwhelming as he engulfed (Reader) in his arms, jangling the chain behind their back as he prepared something.

"I don't know what you are, but I swear to God, I'm going to start screaming rape if you don't stop! The neighbors will call the cops!" (Reader) didn't know what they were saying, the adrenaline spike forcing out tough sounding sentences that made no sense, given the fact that this wasn't a normal human home invader.

Another rumble rolled throughout his rib cage as something cold violated (Reader's) ass. (Reader) involuntarily screamed as the hook was lodged into their anus.

They tried to fall to the floor, allowing their legs to turn to jelly, but Krampus tugged on the chain above them, forcing them up onto their toes. Their hands were still tied behind their back, so their balance was depended entirely on the chain.

Krampus seemed pleased, looking down at the teary little human.

(Reader) was not on the naughty list.

They had always been a good person, mindful of others and always attempting to do what was right. So when they opened the window that night, releasing their scent and calling out to Krampus, he knew what they were really implying.

A long, pink cock slick and shiny in the multicolor glow of (Reader's) bindings emerged from the black mass of fur between his animalistic legs. It was thin, but it continued emerging, revealing itself to almost be the length of his thigh.

He grabbed (Reader's) hair again, forcefully pushing their upper half down, bending them at their waist. They couldn't fall because of the chain still holding (Reader) up. The hand on (Reader's) head shoved their face down to his crotch, slipping his slimy cock between their lips as they begged him to stop. Like a sword, the long penis went down their throat, rubbing against their uvula, and poking into their stomach. Vomit rose and threatened to choke (Reader), coughing it up around his thin cock that smelled like his fingers.

(Reader) tried to straighten their back to pull his dick out of their body, but the Krampus yanked up on the hook while laughing, causing (Reader) to fall forward back onto his dick as their feet lost contact with the ground.

The chain was given some slack, placing (Reader) back onto their toes. They were able to pull off his dick long enough to release the bile onto his thighs. It was still in their mouth, but at it's thin tip, allowing (Reader) the chance to breathe. Then he pulled up again, ramming (Reader) onto him like some kind of pulley operated sex toy.

(Reader) felt their muscles burn as their face was mercilessly fucked by the monster, bobbing their head up and down his shaft by the chain still attached to (Reader's) ass.

Krampus dropped the heavy metal chain to grab (Reader's) head, slapping his heavy balls against their chin as his fucking became more erratic, smashing their nose into his thick fur as his chuckles turned to deep moans and pants. Then, (Reader's) face was held against his pelvis tightly as painfully hot fluid shot straight into their stomach.

He pulled out slowly, still twitching with little pumps of cum as he slid the cock out of their throat and over their tongue.

(Reader) left their mouth open, feeling the smelly fluid drip off their tongue and onto the floor, hoping they would vomit up the rest of his jizz they were forced to drink. The appearance of (Reader) with sticky white drool still connected in a long string to the tip of his hard cock, along with the pathetic little sniffles they made as tears dribbled down their cheeks, excited Krampus more, encouraging him to continue.

Still coughing up the suffocating muck, (Reader) was hoisted into the air, this time not by the hook that had fallen out of their rear, but but the Christmas lights around their midsection.

Suspended above the ground, (Reader) frantically kicked their legs. Krampus held the back of the bindings of their arms with one clawed fist, exposing themselves to him. A foot made contact with his knee in the struggle, but Krampus didn't flinch, completely unfazed by (Reader's) strength.

"No more! Fucking stop!" (Reader) squealed in desperation. They knew he could see how aroused they had become from this angle. (Reader) couldn't see his face, but knew he was smirking at them like the bastard he was. They didn't want to, but their body couldn't help it. It felt good to be fucked.

It had been a long time since (Reader) had had sex, but even longer since they had been fucked.

His still wet member pried open (Reader's) clenched hole. It wasn't painful, with how thin it was, but it kept going in, deeper, and deeper. It hit the point where a large human cock would have stopped, but the monster didn't seem to care for (Reader's) discomfort, forcing himself all the way in. (Reader) didn't even know how they fit all that dick inside of them. But the moment they felt his hot hips grind against their ass, their eyes fluttered.

Unable to touch the ground, (Reader) was held up by the Krampus' left hand and his erection. The lights dug into their ribs painfully, scraping against them as Krampus used the decoration as a harness. His thrusts were fast and hard, just like when he was raping (Reader's) mouth. He went deeper into their slutty hole than anyone ever had before, forcibly giving (Reader) unwanted pleasure.

"H- Help!" (Reader) shakily whined as they fought against how good his slimy inhuman dick felt as he pounded them from behind. Each snap of his hips hit their nerves better than any man had before. The building tightness was eroding (Reader's) will to fight.

'This isn't morally wrong.. right?'

'It's like a dream.. no one judges you for who you fuck in a dream you can't control..'

Their stomach contracted as their orgasm built, threatening to release. But just as (Reader) was about to finish, Krampus ceased his movements, holding them unbearably still against him.

(Reader) involuntarily whined. The climax slowly dissolved, losing the momentum. "Please let me go.."

Something hard painfully slapped their ass, cracking loudly like a riding crop. (Reader) cried out before they could bite their lip, earning another chuckle from the goat man as he continued dicking them down from behind.

Just as (Reader) tried to hush the sounds of enjoyment singing out from their own mouth, another slap from the wood stung their rippling ass cheek as Krampus buried his cock into them.

The rising orgasm built faster this time, causing (Reader) to shake as though they were helping rock themselves onto Krampus' long dick. Their thighs quivered and their breaths became ragged. Each thrust was alternated with a stinging whack to (Reader's) behind. And each time that wood contacted sharply against their skin, (Reader) was brought closer to the edge.

But again, he stopped, only keeping himself in as (Reader) lost their orgasm. They moaned angrily.

It seemed obvious that (Reader) was enjoying this, so why did he keep stopping?? Embarrassment filled (Reader) up and spilled out as tears and a cock hungry sob. "Please.." (Reader) squeezed their eyes shut in shame. "Please finish up.."

"Be more specific." A frighteningly deep voice rumbled from behind (Reader). "What do you want me to do, naughty little whore?"

Precum leaked down (Reader's) legs. "Please let me cum.."

The switch smacked them harder. "What was that?"

"Please let me cum!" (Reader) felt themselves tightening around his dick as they raised their voice. "Please fuck me stupid! I want to cum!"

Another harsh slap earned a gasp from (Reader), urging them to continue begging.

"Please fuck me!"

He laughed quietly while pulling (Reader) up so they could see his face. His dick was still buried deep inside of them as he gazed down at them with predatory eyes. "What a good little slut.."

His lips smashed against (Reader's) forcing his tongue into their kiss as he resumed his assault on their tired, raw genitals. (Reader) returned the kiss just as desperately as Krampus gave it. Their kissing made (Reader) light headed as his ramming cock fucked them past the point of no return.

(Reader) came loudly at the same time as Krampus shot another round into their greedy fuck hole. Even after his seed spilled out he continued pumping, slapping his wet hips up against (Reader's) as he rode out his second orgasm. He kept his cock nestled deep inside (Reader) as they passed out, falling asleep in his arms as he weakly continued rubbing himself against their twitching walls.

(Reader) woke up in the morning on the couch, their clothes on and bundled up in a warm blanket. Johanna was awake, making coffee. Their face burned, wondering what they could have eaten the night before to make them dream about something so dirty, and so vividly.

"You awake yet?"

(Reader) quickly sat up, sore, presumably from sleeping on a couch. "Yeah, I'm getting up."

They stood, but almost immediately felt their knees buckle as cum poured out of them into their pants so quickly (Reader) thought they pissed themselves. (Reader) squawked, pulling open their bottoms to find their underwear missing, and the insides of their pants painted with someone else's fluids, still leaking out of their swollen hole.

"Haha, what was that?" (Reader) quickly pulled up their pants as their friend entered the living room with the mug (Reader) broke the night before.

"Nothing."

"You sure? You look kinda feverish.."

"I'm good!"

"I was just thinking about how to get on the naughty list again next year~"

[iersei]

always happy to enable my friend's beautiful mind and beautiful au thoughts forever and always o7

hello! this is your free pass (or threatening reminder. however you want to interpret it.) to ponder your AUs!

ramble about them if you want even. or perhaps keysmash about which is your favorite. it's enrichment.

THANKS SEI. OK OK HERE HERE brainrot time. Um reading cut bc I think I'm just gonna word vomit.

Ok first things first. For the Bigtop Burger au, I'm still rolling with Lark's idea where Dood essentially infested and turned a normal food truck into an eldritch, Doodler foodtruck. That FUN and CUTE. ALSO SEI IM MAKING YOUR'S AND LARK'S MAKEUP IDEAS CANON IN MY HEAD BC THEY BALL SO HARD.... Scary purple drippy makeup, Normal has school-spirit pep rally dots ( I think maybe either blue and red bc purple OR yellow and blue bc. cute?), Taylor in my head has orange flame inspired makeup, and Linc has green football stripes :]

As for the function of the food truck, I haven't thought too hard bc this au strikes me less as a super serious story one, and moreso as a S1 Bigtop Burger au where Shit Just Happens For Fun. The teens run it on the side as a cover for Dood and to get around while making some money ( maybe the money they earn is converted into daddy Warbucks bc that gimmick was good). Also Scam Likely has a food truck and it's a zomburger esc. rivalry. And I was maybe think the Mayor/The other Dooderlized people have one too but i'm not sure about that! I'd like to hear thoughts!

+ I was just thinking it would be cute if the other NPCs got roped into it for a brief amount of time. Like Erica, Margherita, Hermie OFC ( he's gonna pull grand-theft auto instead of a mascot heist), maybe the Varsity Soccer Team... something something, another Agent Schmegan car chase but it's an eldritch clown food truck filled with teenagers. I JUST MISS THIS SILLY AU AND I'M ALWAYS DOWN FOR BIGTOP BURGER,,

The Actor au is super similar in that it's not really anything besides silly, but I was just thinking of more fun scenarios! Like Henry having to be suspended in the air while doing "magic" because I love. shots of actors dangling in their dumb littles harnesses. Or clips of a show without the effects put in so it's just dorks waving their hands around and yelling. I was also thinking about how actors do side interviews/gameshows(?) and how the bonus episodes of the show are Just That.

OKOK and for the Krampus au(?) or whatever I'm doing with that because I'm just. thinking. plotting. But I wanna keep the silly art side idea with Glenn as Krampus, Darryl as Santa, Henry as a Christmas Elf, and Ron as like....a big gingerbread man. but I was thinking maybe a real au.

the main setup I have right now is the Dads being normal. vaguely-fantasy. villagers. Darryl being a carpenter/woodsman, Henry being a town healer maybe, and Ron being a traveling merchant who lives there/sets up shop. But there's a Weird Fucked Up Creature in the woods and everybody tells their kids its Krampus and they're gonna get stolen/eaten if they misbehave and he becomes this genuine myth. But turns out! probably after one of them runs into him in the woods ( probably Darryl), it's just. Glenn. and he's a goat demon monster but he's actually Pretty Chill! and he starts coming around town more and messing with people bc the Dads pretty much "invited him in" y'know. I was also thinking about having Nick as a baby goat demon...... unsure if Morgan would also be a demon or a human woman....

Thats just my way of getting my fill of monster content because I LOVE. WHEN PEOPLE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH MONSTERS... and they're already so awkward around monsters in universe so them having to navigate this demon who hangs out on their roof is PERFECT.

I also have my various unplanned/nonsense-aus cluttered around. Like the Dads as monsters, I was thinking a Swap Au ( either just Closeson or all the Dads. If all, I think it was that Darryl was the Bard, Ron was the Barbarian, Henry was the Rouge, and Glenn is the Druid. Alternatively, Darryl-Rouge, Glenn-Barbarian, Henry-Bard, and Ron-Druid).

I have a lot of thoughts and none of them string together coherently.

[munsonownsmyass]

Silent night

Krampus x reader

Summary: On the night before Christmas, you have an encounter with the feared Krampus.... it doesn't go quite as expected.

Notes: @theradioactivespidergwen said she hoped for a Krampus fic this Christmas. So I promised to see if I could make one. This might not be what you expected or wanted, Mandy, but hope you think its okay 🤣

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Words: around 1 K

Warnings: None, really. Maybe just me taking some liberties with Krampus and thinking I'm funny 🤣

The sounds of bells fill the cold December air. But not the jolly warm bells we know from Santa, no. These were devoid of joy, ominous as their dead, soulless chimes sound in the night. The rusty hinges on the old, cracked sleigh sound as it lands on the lawn.

Big, black hooves land in the snow and with heavy steps, they make their way to the door. Claws scratching down the old wood, a warning of what is to come. A warning for those who haven’t been nice.  

The door swings open, giving way for the icy winds to enter the warm suburban house. Its quiet. All the inhabitants still sleeping, but not for long. Soon one of them will be begging for his life. Soon he will be no more.

The hooded figure steps forward, the air around him chilling to the bone. His very presence harbors death and all joy is gone. Until one of the giant hooves lands on a toy brick and he almost looses his balance, the small brick wedged into the hoof.

”Son of a bitch! Who the fuck lets Lego lying around?! Jesus.” His deep voice rings through the silent house as he kicks the blocks away, pulling the wedged brick out. Suddenly the lights flicker on, and he freezes, looking up slowly to find a woman looking at him.

“Uhm, hi. You’re not supposed to be up.” Krampus says confused, confident that the whole house was sleeping when he entered.

“Well, I am now. You’re a little loud.” I yawn, looking at him. The ragged red coat with the white so dirty it looks grey. The massive horns protruding from his forehead and the hoofed feet that scrabe the hardwood floor. “Shit… You’re Krampus.”

“I… I am.” He says, making his voice a little deeper as he straightens.

“You’re not what I expected.” I chuckle softly, crossing my arms, taking in the creature before me. He might look the part, but his voice and the way he carries himself? Not at all like the horrific tales.

“Oh, you…” He pauses and his eyes turn fiery red, like the flames of Hell and the room gets darker as if a shadow suddenly falls upon it. “You wanted this, my child? To be frightened to your very core?”

His voice is gritty and cold as ice, the coldness seeping into my veins. My whole body tremble as he walks closer, the smell of sot and rotting flesh filling my nostrils. The way his hooves scrabe over the floor boards send shivers through me, making me regret I ever laid eyes upon him.

“Want me to scare you? To peel the flesh off your bones and feast upon your tender meat?” Krampus asks, his claws scratching my cheek as the red eyes stare into my soul, making my blood run cold.

“Yeah, no. I don’t do that much.” He says, his voice now back to normal and the room the same as it was before, as if nothing happened. “After a few hundred years it gets old.” He chuckles and scratches his neck.  

“Only use it on the hardcore cases. Most are afraid or freeze the minute they see me, so I rarely need it.” He looks to me, slightly frowning as he leans in closer. “Why aren’t you scared?”

“I don’t know. Just aren’t. Well, I was when you did your Krampus voodoo.” I smile softly, shrugging my shoulders. Never been much of a scaredy cat.

“Huh.” It’s the first time in all his years that a human hasn’t feared him. This is… new and a little exciting. “You… Are you normally not scared?”

I just shake my head. Horror was one of my favorite things and there had always been a certain pull to the mysterious and unknown. I take a step closer, looking at his eyes, now that they are back to their normal brown color.

“Are you here for me?” I ask, confused. I might have some… not so normal interests, especially in what I read, but if that was all it would take, a lot more people would be taken.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. I’m here for your brother.“ He averts my gaze for a second while he grins. “I mean, your taste sure is spicy, but not for me to judge.”

He smiles before gesturing to the stairs. “I should get going. The bad ones aren’t going to torture themselves.” He frowns for just a split second, but it’s enough for me to notice.

“You hate your job… Don’t you?” I ask and it causes him to stop, slowly turning back to face me.

“Well, yeah… Wouldn’t you hate being the bad guy for so long? The cause of all those nightmares? A cautionary tales used by grandmothers that want their grandchildren to behave.” He looks down, frustrated, before returning his gaze to mine. “It was fun for a while. Had a blast in the 1400-1600s. But… lately I’ve been asking for a replacement. Turns out it’s quite difficult when there’s only one me.” Krampus shrugs with a chuckle, trying to play it off, but I can see the frustration in his eyes.

“What about a vacation?” I suggest with a smile. “I mean, isn’t your job very seasonal?”

The way I smiles is really endearing and Krampus can’t help but feel… something. A little unsure what that feeling might be, he’s very interested, nonetheless.  

“You know, I never thought about that.” He stands there for a moment, looking into my eyes. Even in his friendly stage, he is an intimidating sight, yet I don’t flinch. Not even a frown on my brow.

“Well, I…” With a nod, Krampus finally tears himself away and walk up the stairs, leaving me in the living room.  

-

When he comes back downstairs, Krampus stops and finds me still there. “Where would you go on vacation?”

He notices how my eyes linger on the bag slung over his shoulder. Its still moving and there are faint screams coming from within. “Sorry, just… doing my job.”

“That’s okay. He was an asshole anyways.”

Krampus stares at the woman in front of him. So short and fragile compared to him yet standing so unbothered in his presence. “You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah, I… I’m often told I’m different.” I shrug with another smile. For a while we just stand there, looking at each other. The smell of sot and rotting flesh still lingers in the air, but I don’t move, just awaits his next move.

“So. Where would you go on vacation?” Krampus asks again.

“If I could choose anywhere in the world, I’d travel to New Zealand.”  

“New Zealand it is then.” He smiles, the gesture sweet in spite of his sharp teeth and harsh appearance. For a moment he lets his eyes linger on her, almost as if he’s searching for a reason not to go. But eventually he looks down and walks away.

“Happy holidays.” He says, voice surprisingly soft, before walking out the door, disappearing into the cold winter night.

-

That Christmas was more silent than usual in my house. The official story was that my low life brother walked out on his wife and kids. The others hoped he’d still come back, but I knew better. If I look closely, I can still see faint marks in the floorboards from where his hooves dragged over the old wood.

No one would believe me, of course, so I would never tell. That’s a little secret I would keep to myself. I did still think about him, though. Wondering how many souls he claims every Christmas. If he ever got that much needed time off.

But I shake off the thought as I start to remove my Christmas decorations. Christmas was over and the holiday would forever be changed for me. I’d never quite look at it the same again.

Tagging: @itwasthereaminuteago @e-dubbc11 @murdock-and-the-sea @mattmurdocksscars @boliv-jenta @chvoswxtch @idrinkcoffeeandobsess

And just a little no pressure tag, but @monster-bait I loved "There Arose Such A Clatter" (and all your other books ❤️), so thougth I'd tag you, eventhough my krampus is far from yours 🙈

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Capricorn

Summary: Icy is scared of ducks, Bloom promised her that she would show up to Cloud Tower in the most terrifying costume.

AN: I might be horrifically depressed but have a silly little Halloween fic.

She has dressed herself well, she thinks. Not that she doesn’t always. But Icy puts special care into her Halloween attire. This year the theme is zodiac decay, Darcy’s choice. Although Stormy has taken to calling it ‘horrorscope’.

Darcy is a gemini has it easy as far as creating a costume goes. There is a lot that can be worked with as far as the horror them goes and the dual nature of the star sign works well with her powers. For it she has made herself a double, a double that she has magically stitched to herself for the night. Both she and her double are dress in long, sheer purple robes with a shimmer of golden stars. Shimmery gold threads give the fabric an opalescent nature.

Stormy is an aries. This does not translate well to the horror theme. But Stormy does it well. She has taken the ram aspect and incorporated it seamlessly into her love of psychobilly music. She has fixed spiderwebs into her faux horns and crafted herself a thorny staff. Affixed to it is a shriveled ram hoof that she had scavenged from the potions classroom. Her outfit itself is lolita in fashion, torn and tattered and fully of bloody frills. The authenticity of the blood, Icy has yet to determine.

Icy is a capricorn. The sea goat. A child of late December and not quite midnight, would have been February had she been born just an hour later. She had options with her costume surrounding Bloom’s silly recounts of Earth folklore. Goats are, apparently, a symbol of evil and witchcraft if Bloom’s word on the matter is to be trusted and that suits her just fine. But she feels as though that is a cliché, and easy and uninspired approach for her costume. So she has decided to take a her costume Christmas during Halloween direction. Bloom tells her that she loves the holiday Christmas. That it feels more magical than any other time of the year. But she has an irrational fear of Krampus. Icy is quite fond of this Krampus and so that becomes the basis of her zodiac costume. She is sea foam and frost, mermaid’s blood and strands of pearls, shimmery silvery hair tinsel and teal hair extensions. She has wrapped icicle laden chains around her arms and impaled herself through the chest with a fake trident with icicle blades. Instead of cloth she wears fur, mostly that which had come from white werewolves. The ends of each turft of fur sparkles with snowflakes. She has enhanced her smiles and snarls with a spell to elongate and sharpen her teeth. The costume is perfect, if for no other reason than that it is perfectly tailored to terrorize Bloom.

“So what is your stupid girlfriend going to dress up as?” Stormy asks.

“Probably a group costume like ours.” Icy shrugs.

“But lamer…” Darcy adds in a mutter. “Seriously, you can always rescind your invitation to the Cloud Tower Halloween party.”

“Relax, she assured me that she had a terrifying costume.”

“And if she shows up dressed as puppy or a ballerina or something glittery?”

“I’m glittery.”

“Yeah glittery with frost and glistening with blood.” Stormy interjects. “That’s different.”

“As if it’s a big deal.” Icy shrugs. “I’ll make her change costumes if the one she shows up in isn’t to Cloud Tower standards.”

.oOo.

Darcy answers the door before Icy can get to it.

“Well hello, witches!” Bloom greets.

“Bloom…” Darcy grumbles.

“Well don’t just lurk in our doorway, show us your costu---” The words die on her tongue as soon as the idiot comes into view all feathers and beak. “I…Bloom…what the fuck is this?”

“My costume! Do you like it?”

“It’s horrible! A disaster!” Stormy declares. “You’re going to make the Trix look ridiculous!”

“More than usual?” Bloom asks with a flap of her fake wings. Purple wings, wings that look much too much like the ones adorning the duck that had be tormenting Icy for much of her senior year. “Maybe Cloud Tower needs a reminder that the Trix are no longer a threat to the campus or Magix.”

“I think that they’ve already received the message already. That moron…” Darcy replies with a nod in Icy’s direction. “Is dating you.”

“I am the brains of this trio.” Icy grumbles.

“Right, that’s why I come up with all of the best plans.”

“I am the one who comes up with most of the plans.”

“Which might be why we didn’t get very far.” Darcy counters. “At any rate, Bloom, the headmistress already knows that we’re just trying to finish our final year and got on with things. Your costume is not necessary.”

“You said that you would have a terrifying costume.” Icy folds her arms across her chest. “And you showed up dressed as a cute little duck.”

“I said that it would be terrifying, yes. But I didn’t say that it would be terrifying to the masses. It is however, horrifying to you specifically.”

Icy gives another cough. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about your anatidaephobia!” Bloom exclaims.

“Anatida…! I’m not scared of ducks, Bloom!” Icy throws her arms up.

Bloom too throws her arms up but she wiggles her fingers. “OoooOooOOo, I’m a spooky scary duck and I’m going to peck all of your innards out through your nose.”

“That’s not…you can’t…no.”

And now Bloom is cackling. Absolutely howling with laughter.

“You could have at least put some fake blood on your beak.” Stormy grumbles.

“That’s not necessary; Icy is scared of plain ‘ol regular ducks and geese.”

“I am not afraid of geese, I simply have a healthy respect and level of caution for the amount of teeth in their mouths. And I am not afraid of ducks, it is that I despise their cuteness.”

“If they’re so cute then why did you look like you wanted to cry every time you saw Pepe?”

“I wasn’t crying and if you did see tears, they wear tears of hated and resentment.”

“Oh. Well that’s good!” She flashes a cheerful grin. “Because my costume came with a friend.”

“Wh-” she gives a small cough to cover the slight hesitation in her voice. “What do you mean, a friend?”

Once again Icy clears her throat. Even as she does so the tickles in her tummy begin. “If it’s a duck then you can keep it concealed. I cannot stand the sight of those things.” She pauses. “Anyways, what do you think of my costume.”

“I think that it was a nice try but I’m only afraid of the real Krampus. It is very well crafted though.”

“Thank you, I made it myself.” Icy is left with only a moment to be with her pride before Bloom reaches into the pocket of her costume and holds out a duck.

“No!” Instinctively she lurches back.

“Oh my darkness, you are afraid of ducks!” Stormy springs off of the bed.

“I am so not.” Icy grits her teeth. “I am repulsed by the presence of that thing. Would you stand still if Darcy ran up and tried to sneeze on you?”

Darcy crinkles her nose. “If anything Stormy would try to sneeze on me.”

“Oh who cares, the point is, I am no more scared of that wretched creature than I am of nose juices…”

“You can say snot like a normal person.” Stormy interrupts.

“…but that doesn’t mean that I want to come into contact with it.”

“Prove that you’re not scared. Hold the duck.” Bloom thrusts Pepe at her and she takes another three to five steps back. In her distress she has cornered herself. She cringes at her own error. And cringes doubly at the duck that is much too close to her.

“Bloom, you take a step back right now!” She orders. The slightest hitch in her voice betrays her and sends Stormy flopping onto the bed with laughter and Darcy hunching over her desk, lightly beating its surface with her fist.

Bloom gives one of her snorting, snickering laughs. “Kraumps is afraid of a duck.”

“I’m going to kill you, Bloom.” A single tear drop slips down her cheek, betraying her facade. “I am going to rip you apart, feather by feather, with my teeth.”

“You’ll have to go through the duck first.”

“Bloom I don’t like you.” There is a barely concealed pinch in her voice.

“Admit that you’re afraid of ducks and that my costume is literally the scariest costume in Cloud Tower and I’ll teleport Pepe back to Alfea.”

“I’m not afraid of ducks and your costume sucks.” That doesn’t stop another tear from slipping down her cheek. She closes her eyes and holds her head high. In a whisper she repeats, “I’m not scared of ducks.”

“Well that’s good because I have placed him on your head.”

“Wh-why would you do that to me?”

“Because you stole my dragon fire.” She gives Icy’s cheek a little kiss.

“I don’t like you.”

“Happy Halloween!”

“It’s going to be your last Halloween.” Icy vows. Just as soon as she is not shielded by the duck, that is. Or maybe she’ll let her live to the next Halloween and get her back. She will, she swears it.

[babybatscreationsv2]

Krampus

Marvel | Starker

It's Christmas and Tony still likes his games. But things are different now. The two are closer. And just maybe Peter is getting a little more in the spirit of things.

Rating: Explicit

Third in the Holiday Horrors series

Forever for and inspired by my muse, H <3

Warnings and tags below

Warnings/tags: con-noncon, scary mask, primal play, fear kink, crying, begging, violent/gory thoughts, knotting, monster fucking, painful sex, spanking/caning, victim blaming

The cold air bit his cheeks. Peter huffed out a breath and watched the cloud drift away. He glanced at May waiting in the driveway and gave her a reassuring smile. Tony never made him wait like this. In fact, where was Jarvis? He wiggled his toes in his boots and wished for the millionth time that he had something warmer for his feet. Then the door opened.

"Finally," Peter huffed. "Where were you?"

Tony leaned out the door and gave May a wave. "I was just making sure everything was ready. I didn't realize how cold it was."

Peter came inside and kicked off his snow damp boots. Tony took his coat from his shoulders as he unzipped.

"You didn't have to get me anything," he said alluding to the little wrapped gift Peter set on the shoe bench.

"Of course I didn't have to." Peter rolled his eyes. He picked the box back up while Tony hung his coat on the hook. He melted when Tony turned and looked at him, eyes dark and hungry.

"You could just let me unwrap you." He moved in, hands going around Peter's waist.

"Let you?" Peter teased. Tony grinned as he leaned in for a kiss. It was surprisingly quick for Tony who usually indulged until Peter's brain melted into submissive sludge and ended up on his knees. Instead, Tony took him by the hand and pulled him into the living room.

They sat on the couch under the twinkling lights of the Stark's oversized Christmas tree. Tony had laid out the table with drinks and snacks. A single present sat under the tree. Tony leaned back against the couch with an arm draped lazily along the back.

"Aren't you gonna open up your present?" he asked.

Excitement rang in his chest and he couldn't help but smile. Peter set Tony's gift down and went to collect his own from the tree. It was surprisingly big. He'd half expected something horny like a pair of handcuffs. Or, he shivered, another creepy mask.

He brought the box back to the couch and set it on his lap. Tony picked up his present. Then they both tore into the paper together. Peter only grew more excited as he realized what he was holding.

"Tony! This is way too much," Peter gasped. He pushed away the rest of the paper to look at the Lego set in his hands. The AT-AT figure was almost seven thousand pieces and he knew it cost a small fortune. He'd never even considered asking May for it.

Tony was quiet. Peter looked away from the box. He blushed as he saw him holding the little ring box Peter had given him. The ring inside was a simple silver band with their names engraved on the inside.

"It's not much, but what do you get the guy who has everything?" Peter laughed.

Tony looked at him. His eyes were soft. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

"I thought it was subtle enough that your friends wouldn't see if you didn't want them too."

"Why wouldn't I want them to see?"

Peter swallowed. It wasn't like Tony was never nice to him, but he was almost uncomfortably sincere.

"Did you like your present?" Tony asked him.

"I did. Thank you!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty great at buying gifts." He smirked.

Peter rolled his eyes. He set the box aside and turned toward his boyfriend. "Maybe I should show you my gratitude." He gave him a sultry look, eyes running down to his lap.

Tony's hand caressed his face. His fingers tugged gently on his hair. "Actually, I thought we could play a game."

"A game?" Peter shivered. That only meant one thing to Tony.

"Yeah," he smirked. He leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. "Close your eyes and wait right here."

"Okay..." Anxiety boiled in his belly, but he closed his eyes. Peter sat back against the couch as he felt Tony leave. He tried to follow his footsteps with his ears, but he quickly went silent. As if he was stalking him. As if he were stalking prey. Peter shivered. Then he gasped, jolting forward in his seat, as the power went out.

He heard the electric whir of power draining from the room around him. The lights on the Christmas tree were the only thing still running. They must have had some sort of battery backup.

"Tony?" Peter stood up from the couch and looked around. It was so dark. Everything around him was cast in shadow. The light coming from the windows was a soft, wintery blue. Evening had set in while they opened their gifts. Tony always had perfect timing. He wouldn't doubt he made him wait out in the cold on purpose just to make sure it was dark.

At least, he was pretty sure the breaker box was in the garage. That meant if he ran now, he could find somewhere to hide before Tony came back in. If he hadn't snuck in while Peter was processing that is.

So he ran.

He stuck to the carpet as much as he could to muffle his footsteps, then he took the stairs two at a time. At least he was more athletic than he looked. Tony made sure he got a lot of exercise. Peter wasn't sure he knew how to have sex without having a wrestling match first.

He didn't know the upstairs that well, but he was pretty sure Tony's bedroom was not the place to go. So he went the opposite way. He ducked in the second door off the hall and found a guest bedroom. He opened up the closet door, but it was too empty. Instead he tucked himself under the bed.

His heart was loud in his ears. His neck was throbbing as his pulse raged. A guilty twinge bothered his stomach as he realized the throbbing wasn't just in his neck.

It was silent for a long time. Then he heard soft footsteps in the hall and a sound like something being dragged. A door opened, then it was quiet. A few minutes later, the door opened to the room he was hiding in.

"Peter," Tony purred. He shivered as he realized his voice was muffled. Was he wearing the mask? His shadow moved from the doorway to the closet first. Peter couldn't tell what he was dragging, but it was definitely something.

"You've been awfully naughty this year," Tony teased. "Getting off on being scared. Letting boys chase you through the woods and fuck you in public." He came to a stop at the end of the bed. Peter stared at his feet, praying for him not to look down.

"I think you're due for a punishment like all naughty little boys."

He walked away from the bed. Peter almost let out a breath. Then Tony leaned down and looked under the bed.

Peter screamed.

The mask on his face was hairy like an animal. The eyes were blood red. The teeth were big and sharp. On either side of his head were horns like a goat. Peter scrambled out from under the bed, hitting his head in the process. He looked around, but the only place to go was into the en suite.

Tony was right behind him. He was grabbed before he could get his barring. Tony grabbed him by the back of his neck and pushed him forward forcing him down against the counter top. Peter reached for anything he could grab, but there was nothing but the sink.

Tony grabbed his jeans and yanked them down along with his underwear. He kicked at him and Tony grabbed his balls, not painfully but enough that he froze. Once he was still, Tony started to message them between his fingers. Peter moaned, legs spreading apart.

"Don't get too excited," Tony chuckled. "Being a whore is what got you into this mess."

"Let me go," Peter tried. He pushed against the counter.

Tony grabbed him by the hair and pulled his face up to look in the mirror. He shivered at the creepy mask. "You have to be punished first, Petey. Where's your Christmas spirit?"

Tony lifted his arm. Peter barely had time to see the thin stick in his hand before he swung it down. He gasped, pain barely registering before he struck him again. On the second hit he screamed.

"Don't be a baby," Tony mocked. "It could be so much worse."

Despite his teasing, tears formed in his eyes as Tony spanked him. He whimpered with each strike. Peter kicked his feet as it became too much. Tony forced him down with all his weight and kept going until his ass felt raw and he was gasping for breath. Then he let him go.

He realized when his pants caught on his ankles and he fell face first onto the floor. Still he kept moving, crawling away from the creature and his horrible red eyes.

"Where ya going, Pete?" Tony's voice was mocking as he followed him. They both knew he wasn't going to get far. He let him crawl all the way to the bedroom door before he pounced on him. Then Tony flipped him over and showed him what he had in his hand.

The thing he'd been dragging around was a big sack, like one Santa Claus would carry. He forced it over his head and stuffed him inside. That awful sharp toothed grin was the last thing he saw. Peter struggled, but Tony pulled the sack down to his waist and pulled the cord tight until it dug into his skin. He tied it there, trapping him. All he could do was shove uselessly against the fabric. The cord dug into his skin, not painful but tight enough to feel claustrophobic. It didn't loosen as he pushed and pulled. The best he could do was slide it down his waist and crawl further into the sack.

"You'd better calm down, sweetheart. You only have so much air in there and I still haven't finished your punishment."

Peter whimpered. "Please! Let me out!"

Tony finished stripped his lower half bare. Now that he was trapped, he took his time with him. He slapped his already raw ass, making him sob. Then he forced his legs apart. Peter gasped as he touched his cock.

"You might want me to let you out, but this little thing doesn't," Tony teased. Peter moaned as he stroked him slowly. "I think you like being kidnapped and raped by monsters."

"No please," Peter sobbed. He struggled some more and he didn't stop until something pushed against his hole.

Tony chuckled. "Such a fucking slut. Is that all it takes? I'm not even inside you yet."

Peter tried to fight again out of sheer pride, but Tony's cock pushed inside and the pleasure that coursed through him had him paralyzed. He moaned as he filled him up. He laid his head down, drooling into the fabric as Tony slowly, deliciously, pushed all the way in then all the way bad out. Then something touched his ass in a way that startled him.

"Tony?"

"Shh, just take it," he coaxed. Something much wider than Tony's cock was forcing its way inside, but that didn't make any sense because Tony was still inside him.

"Wh- what is- that," Peter choked on his own words as Tony pushed against his hole, stretching him open.

"It's a knot," Tony said. He sounded amused by his cries. "Crazy what you can find on the internet. Wanted to make sure you got the full monster fucking experience."

Finally the widest part was in and the rest followed. Peter moaned, brain completely shut down by sensation. Tony's cock was too deep, the knot was too wide, his tender ass was pressed against the floor, and a firm hand was pinning him down. He hadn't even realized he'd been struggling.

Tony moved his hips and the knot seemed stuck fast as if he might never get it back out. Tony chuckled. "Since you're trapped on my dick, might as well see that pretty face of yours." The cord loosened. Peter lifted himself up so Tony could pull the sack off.

"There are those pretty tears." Peter shivered as Tony stared down at him through the mask. He grabbed both of his wrists and pinned them over his head, leaning forward until their faces were inches apart.

The knot pushed at his hole. Peter whined, more tears coming to eyes. "Please," he sobbed.

Tony moaned, pushing the knot back in. "You're always such a perfect victim."

"It's too big," Peter gasped. Tony moved his hips and the knot pushed against his hole again. It felt way too big to come out. He wasn't sure how he'd gotten the damn thing inside him.

"Poor Petey," Tony teased. "It's not cumming out until you cum on it."

"I can't," he whined. "That mask..."

"You want me to take it off?"

"Please, Tony."

"Give it a kiss."

"What? No!" Peter gasped. Just looking at those bloody teeth made his stomach hurt.

"Kiss it," Tony said more firmly.

"No..."

"Go on. Give Krampus a kiss and I'll let you go."

Peter whined, but he lifted his head up. His whole body shuddered. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips against the rubber mouth. Tony laughed.

"That's my boy." He pulled the mask off his head and fixed his flatted hair. Tony's eyes were glittering. His smile was fiendish. "Now, where were we?"

Tony rolled his hips, fucking him deep, knot pushing at his entrance while the tip of his cock pushed into his guts. Peter moaned, eyes rolling in his head. He was lost in sensation, mouth hanging open, drool on his face, Tony cruel grin staring down at him.

"I'm gonna cum," Peter whined.

"You're such a slut," Tony chuckled. "You love being scared don't you?"

"No..."

"If you don't like it then why are you about to cum on my knot, Pete? You know Krampus eats little liars like you. Maybe I should take a bite."

Peter gasped. He could just imagine the gore of Tony tearing into him with those awful teeth. He shivered down to his toes. Then he came, straining against Tony's grip, hips bucking but the pain of Tony's knot was gone for the moment.

Tony kissed his sweaty forehead. "That's my good little victim," he purred.

Peter almost screamed as Tony forced the knot from his ass. Tears ran down his cheeks. Tony swiped his tongue over his face, licking them away. His eyes were so wild, so excited. It made his skin burn with terror because he knew Tony and he knew that look meant he wasn't getting out of this easily.

He sobbed, whimpering as Tony pushed it back in. He shivered at the sound of Tony's moan. There was one way out of the pain and overstimulation.

"Please, Tony," he begged, eyes wide and wet. "Please, it hurts..." Tony groaned and Peter bit back a smile. "Please stop, please! It's too much. You're hurting me!"

"Fuck," Tony groaned in answer. Peter only cried more as he fucked him faster. When he squeezed around him it made the pain worse but it was worth it as he watched Tony lose control, spurred on by his whimpering, by the way he struggled beneath him as if he might try to crawl away. Then he slammed his hips against him, cumming hard, leaning down to kiss Peter's lips, his jaw, his neck, frantic with pleasure.

He let go of Peter's wrists and Peter wrapped his arms around him. "I liked that game." He kissed Tony's cheek as his weight settled against him. Peter laughed. "I think you did, too."

After a moment of rest, Tony lifted his head and grinned at him. "Maybe we should go another round then."

"No, I'm so sore," Peter pouted.

"Are you trying to tempt me?" Tony nipped the side of his neck.

"No, I'm serious. You really hurt me." He stuck his lip out further to really emphasize his pout.

Tony kissed him. "You really are a perfect little fear slut." Then he laughed. "The knot still has to come out, you know."

Peter whimpered. "You're gonna be the one to call May and tell her I can't make it home tonight. Because I'm not gonna be able to walk tomorrow."

Tony was all smiles. "I fail to see the problem there, sweetheart.”

[one-coming-is-enough]

I wanna hear about your beef with Mr. Claus, if you don't mind.

I've been sleeping on this ask for a minute, and it's time, honestly. I've had such a busy holiday season already, it's crazy! I mean, this year in addition to all the zombies, I'm trying to get through the training videos for taking over Hell, and they're meandering, awkward, and full of incoherent jargon. It's just a lot!

But the 6th was St. Nicholas's Day, and tonight it's Hanukkah, so I should definitely answer this one.

St. Nicholas is a decent guy, if a little stiff-necked. His thing is giving dowries to poor women so they don't have to go into sex work. And also bringing poor children back to life after they're sold for stew meat.

(Also, he was the one who proposed at the Council of Nicea that Easter be celebrated on the first full moon after the spring equinox, which tied it to the solar calendar instead of the lunar calendar. Granted, this was to reduce the Jewish influence on the religion, but it also made it easier for Me to celebrate Passover, and I really like Passover.)

So St. Nicholas Day ends up being a day where, instead of finding the nearest whore and offering to fund her marriage (sex work is work), you give money and presents to children. You can see the connection, yeah? Make sure kids have what they need growing up and they won't go hoing to make ends meet. Or have to be made into stew.

Meanwhile, we have this spirit over in the East called Ded Moroz, or Grandpa Frost. He's just, like, an old guy who freezes stuff. He'll take your kids if they wander out in the cold like you told the little bastards not to do.

And because of cultural drift, the duties of Ded Moroz get shifted over to Odin, another dude from the East. Originated somewhere between the steppes of Mongolia and Turkey, as far as anyone knows, finally made his way to Sweden and even the British Isles. Odin is now the Yulefather, the freezer of water and collector of the dead in the dying part of the year. Makes sense, because He's a wind god, since air is the element connected with Spirit at this time. (This is true for Hebrew and Latin, too! Pneuma and ru'ach.)

Well, the church doesn't like that Ded Moroz is a spooky guy who takes souls, decides he's a demon. But people like their Ded Moroz a lot. So now, instead of being a demon who takes souls, he's... Well, who do we have that's also from the East, Turkey specifically, and who is associated with giving or taking something, especially regarding children?

We have St. Nicholas! Who gives children presents instead of taking their souls, and coincidentally can calm the storm (of wind) that so often takes the souls of those lost outside in the cold. And his holiday is just under 20 days before Yule Xmas it's Christmas now. (Or, Yuletide. You know, whatever. Sheol is Hades now, who gives a shit.)

So it all gets kinda muddled up. Odin, St. Nick, Ded Moroz. Father Frost, Father Solstice, Father Christmas.

Well, I'm hanging out in the Holy Roman Empire, and I hear about this guy known as Sinterklaas. I think it's my old buddy and trusted employee Nicholas of Myra, who as far as I know has been buying, freeing, and funding the education and/or startups of slaves for as long as that's been possible. (He has six to eight African guys he ended up hiring on as assistants.) And I hear he's giving out not just coins and oranges, which prevent scurvy, but also toys and candy. And Nicholas of Myra is a good man, but he had zero sense of humor or fun and would never give a kid candy ("it rots your teeth, at least have an orange").

So I track down this Klaus, whom the kids also call Kris Kringle. I hear the kids have been doing all sorts of weird rituals to him, like the Spanish Yule log that shits candy, or the little pooping guy they hide in the Nativity scene (also Spanish, now that I think about it. What the fuck did the Inquisition do to people's brains over there?). And that he has a creepy BDSM goat called the Krampus for an assistant, who's in charge of dealing out the punishment to bad kids (that one's German and I thought it was just, like, the nation's id or something).

And he's smol. I mean, this guy is fucking Thumbelina sized. Roughly round, jolly as fuck, red fur trimmed in white, pointy toque beanie to match, and a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. Telltale pointed ears. Sparkling all over like they do.

Eight transmuted beings. Sleipnir (Dasher), Shiva and Baal Marquad (Dancer, Prancer), a kitsune (Vixen), a fallen star (Comet), Eros Himself (Cupid), and Thunder and Lightning -- Thor and Loki. Donner and Blitzen.

It's an entire Neil Gaiman novella of folks who've, I dunno, lost some kind of bet to him.

Okay. So he's one of The Neighbors. Gotta be careful.

I greet him like he's my old buddy Nicholas. I ask him how the soul collection is going and ask to see his inventory. He demurs, but I remind him that I'm his boss and they'll all come to Me eventually anyway. I just want to see if I think he ought to put any back. Oh, and can I just scan your company badge so I can establish that you made your check-in?

Well, I'm bluffing really hard, but he doesn't know that. He says he lost it. I tell him I'll wait with the souls until he gets back -- actually, whoa, looks like he's got a full load there. I'll take them in Myself.

That's when he laughs and says, "Well, Jesus, looks like You caught Me fair and square tonight. But how's about you and I make a deal? I'll spread Your Word and tell children to be good. And I will tell them to give to others all year round, because that's the spirit of Christmas. If they are good all year round, doing what their parents say, I will give them presents. If they are not good all year round -- which is to say, they don't do what their parents tell them to earn Christmas presents -- I will not give them presents. Fair?"

Note the wording carefully. Note where there's an and, and where there's not an and.

This works for a while. And then this song comes out.

Something seems wrong if kids are getting Santa presents according to the wealth of their parents, not their goodness over the year.

Then I find out that the primary metric by which Santa distributes presents is no longer behavior, but belief.

Not in Me.

In SANTA CLAUS.

I storm into his North Pole office yelling idolatry and he's got a fucking elven lawyer underlining shit. He didn't convert. He only promised to encourage charity. He didn't promise presents for charity, it's just for kids doing what their parents say they need to in order to get gifts, and right now that's belief in him.

I'm fucking steamed and he points out that I do exactly the same thing. Instead of doing good works or seeing the Divine in others regardless of social status or even fighting for equality here on Earth, Heaven has gotten twisted around to the point where believing in Me alone -- not what I stand for, which at this point can be nearly anything, but just the idea that I existed and did the Thing -- is considered sufficient acceptance criteria.

And I can't argue with that but I hate it. I hate that it's come to that. I hate what My section of Heaven looks like these days. I personally have been pleading for them to enact stringent, clearer, and above all objective metrics of entry, but I'm outnumbered in My own 5D connected consciousness in that opinion!!!

So. Fuck that guy. I'd literally rather you just worship Odin for Yule flat-out than fuck with Santa Claus, because at least He has solid advice for living and a comprehensive afterlife system.

I don't know what Santa Claus is doing with all that belief except get bigger, and it really scares Me.

[maochira]

Hi Mao, this is a bit of an odd ask.

My dad is German and Italian, so I grew up learning bits and bits about my German and Italian roots (I’m actually taking Italian for my foreign language). I recently learned about German children’s books like Struwwelpeter, Max and Moritz, Krampus, and not as famous Brothers Grimm stories. I only really learned about these recently because my parents stuck to bedtime stories like Strega Nona (Grandma Witch) Despite the Italian name it was made in the US. Although I was also told a lot of German mythology. But the German children’s books I brought up are mostly cautionary tales that would’ve horrified me when I was little.

The ask: The Blue Lock boy’s reaction to hearing German bed time stories for the first time

I hope you have a day as nice as you <3

This is more of a braindump rather than a proper writing thing but OH MY GOD. I'm pretty sure I still have my Struwwelpeter book somewhere at my aunt's place. I got it when I was a kid and BROOO THOSE STORIES ARE HORRIFYING💀💀💀

Struwwelpeter (the story) itself is pretty tame. Just a guy who doesn't cut his nails and doesn't brush his hair. But then the other stories in the book... Suppenkasper. Kid doesn't eat soup for a few days and dies. I forgot the name but then there's the story of the girl who played with a lighter and died. Then there's also the story of the boy who didn't stop sucking his thumb so some guy came and cut his thumbs off. AND THERE'S MORE💀 but yeah.

I barely remember anything about Max and Moritz except they were two boys messing around with everyone and causing chaos and then they got baked into a bread.

I never was taught about Krampus until I was a bit older, I think. But he was never a thing I knew about when I was a kid.

BUT UHM. BLUE LOCK BOYS REACTIONS

Honestly I just imagine little Kaiser hearing the stories and being like "Eh whatever" and not being affected at all (me back then... for some reason💀 only the being baked part in Max and Moritz horrified me... I think I was aware of everything being fictional)

Little Ness on the other hand? Nightmares. Every night for 3 weeks. His parents regret having bought the Struwwelpeter book.

When Isagi finds out about the stories... I think he'd just be like "That's why Kaiser is fucking insane" or something like that

No idea about the others tbh😭 Like yeah they'd think those are weird stories to read to a kid but there's not much more I can come up with😭

[akjwkshoralie51661]

I cant not, I can not live like this anymore man. This is like the 3rd analysis post that include the "Fiddleford went out of his way abandoned his wife and kid just because he wanna get with Stanford". Cuz no!!???

Yes I agree he did ditch his wife and kid for a man AND THAT'S A AWFUL THING TO DO, but come on!!! He didn't do it because he want to have a brokeback mountain ahh situation and to cheat on his wife!? He did it JUST because he love and care the man, cuz ya know that love can be unconditional right???

(Note: I gonna use romantic lenses for their relationship because those post did and talk about it like so)

He didn't need or want his feeling for to get replicated whatsoever because HE STILL HAVE A WIFE FOR FUCK SAKE. HE WOULD FEEL IMMENSE GUILT ABOUT THAT!!

If you believe that Fiddleford do have a thing for Ford then if it's anything, it just a wishful thinking. Like he way ppl want to be a billionaire? It remain a wishful thing, aka you know I'll never happen and not that hopeful abt it but it'd be nice if it happen? All the thing he did all the gifts he gave is all because he appreciate Ford and he love him, thats all, NOT cuz he wanna get with Ford and want the guy to be like "oh you're so nice to me and you do all these thing to me so now I will kiss you".

Omg that shit is literally IN THE TEXT with after Fidds gave Ford TWO christmas gifts (which he gave nothing to his wife WHICH have no hetrosexual explanation for it, also you can't blame that on the memory gun either cuz how da fuck why he HANDMADE the two gifts for Ford he didn't think that: oh yeah I also have to get back with my wife and kid so I probably need to make present for them also???) and when Ford said he feel bad for not giving Fidds anything Fiddleford literally quote: "F reassured me that being part of scientific history was present enough. He only wished to hold my Nobel Prize one day."

He gave stuff for Ford just because he wants to and he need nothing back from Ford, ever. Like, not even recognition when it come to their scientific research with him saying Ford's nobel prise despite both working on the portal.

A lot of yall seem to forget Fiddleford's nature is kind, he a bit of a coward when it come to certain stuff, too afraid to confront his problems, alway choose an easy way out like the memory gun stuff. That, I do agree. But ultimately he still a kind man, Ford said that, Alex said that what do you even want more. And yes, he did erasing Ford's memories without his consent and that is fucked up. But that too came from a place of wanting to do good, of what he think what's best for Ford.

Fiddleford McGucket did what he did for Stanford because he himself care a lot about his friend (platonic or not tbh) and because he is a kind-hearted soul, not because of some ulterior motive.

Speaking of that christmas entry... FUCK IT! I WILL go out of my way to defend Stanford Pines in this specifically cuz I AM TIRED of some of yall bitches made him more horrible than he actually is. He's not a good guy and have high ego plus some narcissistic tendencies but come on, he's not actually that fucking evil jezz.

Ya'll keep going on about how he didn't gave Fiddleford anything back but ya forgot that he didn't know Fidds gonna gave him anything??? He did feel bad abt it and then wanted to do something for him? He even giving Fiddleford break day and suggest going on adventure to pay him back. Also he's a Jewish so I doubt that he celebrate christmas and participate gift giving tradition? (I tried to look more about it but mostly it's gift giving between family members and between adults and kids so correct me if I was wrong).

Not to mention he did decide to take a break to celebrate the holiday with Fiddleford to cheer him up after he came back from a fight with his wife and saved him from the Krampus.

Finally, the snow globe breaking was not his fault either, Bill startled him which made him dropped the it on the ground (which kinda indicate that he hold the snow globe while he's sleeping soooo).

Like the only thing I aint defending and hate him for is he jump straight to doubting Fidds after Bill told him abt Fidds having a second thought AFTER THE MAN LITERALLY CAME BACK AND SAVE YOUR LIFE???

STANFORD FILBRICK PINES WHY ARE YOU TRUSTING A LITERALLY TRIANGLE DEMON YOU JUST MET OVER YOUR OWN FRIEND WHOM YOU'VE KNOWN SINCE COLLEGE!!!??? OMG YOU'RE SO GAY YOU'RE SO GAY AND SO INTO AND TRUSTING THAT FUCK ASS TRIANGLE JUST BECAUSE THAT MF KNOW HOW TO STROKE YOUR EGO IT MAKING ME INSANEEEEEEEEE

So yeah that's all I have to say to defend my Fiddleford, like I am sorry but I can't with people butchering his character like this. Yes it's bad that he left his wife and kid for a man, I ain't defend that of him. But seeing Fiddleford thing with Stanford exclusively romantic may have ruined the way people look at his character and all the things he did for Ford tbh. They make it seem like he just making a fool of himself, sacrificing everything just because he wanted to be with Stanford but that's not the case.

[askyuuandco]

So how would you feel if Krampus comes to pay you a visit?

Yuu: no. no. no. no. NO! No Krampus! In my home world he's just a fictional character but in this one he's real! Don't jinx me! ;m; Ace: what the fuck is krampus? Yuu: You know who Santa is?

Ace: Yeah. Yuu: Well he's the opposite of Santa and instead of giving you presents he takes you instead but only if your naughty... 0-0

Ace: what does he look like? He can't be that scary Yuu: *shows him a picture of Krampus* Ace: Nevermind :'D

[syringesyrup]

swissdew being romantic and feeding eachother chocolate covered strawberries and cuddling infront of a fireplace :(

idk if this was an art request or a fic prompt but nahhh this is sooo HOLD ONNN LETS TALKABOJT IT

Okay so like christmas time right BECAUSE RIGHT it’s perfect. dew wearing one of swiss’ hoodies Guh. Dews hands are cold so they’re on swiss’ tummy GUHHH. SWISS IN A TURTLENECK WERE BACK IN THEBTRENCHES GETDOWN (AIRSTRIKE ALARM) (WWEEEOOWWW) (EXPLOSION) (DEAFENING RINGING)

fuck offf the strawberries u know swiss’ bitchass used his paycheck for a chocolate fountain just because fuck it. blowing men may as well blow his money too.

dew licking the chocolate off of the strawberries and swiss is like ur missing the fucking point and dew is like it’s my own little game (autism)

grips a table. their faces are all red from the heat of the fire but swiss’ is mostly blush because he has a fucking crush on dew. His husband. he’s so excited u don’t understand he loves their little dates.

dew going off on a rant about some dumb human christmas movies and how they’re all the same and that Krampus was comical. Swiss just like right uh huh no for sure baby yeah noo right yeah (he loves the way dew’s voice gets higher when hes angry)

swiss in those plaid pajama pants iiiii just almost turned into a werewolf. they have matching fuzzy socks and slippers hand made by cumulus THAT GIRL IS KNITTING SO MUCH DURING THE HOLIDAYS. matching sweaters trust. SWISSIN A BEANIE PLEASE DIE. dew would rock one too i’m getting sidetracked thinking about winter ghouls but anyways. swiss starts calling dew strawberry after this because his red face n lil freckles OUH good one syringe…write that one down….

that’s all i got for now. one of u (side eye at miasma) work your magic

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

Something just hit me! Is Sukuna still a doll or did he turn back to normal?

@demon-blood-youths

Yuji blinks to hear the anon but he shows the Sukuna doll seeing a angry looking cursed king. "I guess Krampus made it till spring so yeah he's still a doll right now. I get a longer vacation so yay!" he smiled.

"I hate this so much.....I'm going to fucking get that damn demon for this!" he growls.

"Oh come on, it's only till spring but maybe this gives you time to be nice and say sorry to the ones you-"

"TO HELL WITH THAT! I'LL NEVER SAY SORRY!! Well, only to the pup and Kinie, BUT NOT TO YOU OR THE FUCKING OTHERS!" he barked but Yuji squeezes him to get a squeak.

"AND STOP SQUEEZING ME!!"

"Your still pretty cute though.."

[itsbrucey]

Yeah fuck it. More Krampus Glenn sketches. SUGGESTIVE WARNING!!!!!!

It's between these two and option 1 was endorsed by my Secret Dark Council ( my gf and friend in our discord server) so I'll probably clean up + finish that one :]

[im-tired1124]

At last, I’d like to finally introduce you to my personal favorite bone-collecting, cucumber-munching, OCD-having, back-breaking-hug-giving, babysitting, 6 foot one and super strong great-grandkid of death herself (violent inhale) Melgaar Rekachro!

Despite looking like the nightmarish anime girl version of Krampus, Melgaar’s personal generally very nonthreatening, caring, and of course, like everyone else in the Emberlyn and the Dental Dilemmas group excluding Kelpie, one of the most genuine and kind people to ever breathe air. They’re very much the Mom friend of the group, despite not liking children all that much, ironically. She’s very concerned about everyone’s health, constantly insists on doing everyone’s dirty work for them as much as Ylra if not even more, has a crack ton of healing spells, is not afraid to make brambles grow out of someone’s lungs if they fuck with her friends, and constantly tries to pretend that everything’s fine while playing therapist and being extra paranoid about the group getting physically hurt. All of this will trying to battle violent vivid intrusive thoughts. I’d say aside from Lirin, she’s probably the least confrontational out of everyone in the group, though that can mostly be attributed to the fact that she’s usually too tired to start a fight. Someone get this poor dude some melatonin gummies, she’s gonna need em’. Oh yeah, did I mention that she likes cucumbers because they FUCKING LOVE cucumbers.

NOTES!

[asknarashikari]

This is probably too late for me to say since Christmas is already over...not that I celebrate it anyways but I digress. Here's a very wonky Christmas headcanon idea (probably takes place after the events of Kamen Rider Geats, at least my version but I digress) of mine I had in mind that is just as ridiculous and insane, if not more than, that Buffabutt Hyper Battle Video dream of his.

Geats cast members (Ace, Keiwa, Neon, Buffabuttface, Tsumuri, Sara, Win, Daichi, maybe also Kyuun and Ziin, etc...) all sharing a very weird dream that involves them having to team up to save Christmas from the likes of Mr. Kabuto-Wannabe as a Grinch Jyamato in a fraudulent santa costume...and Buffabuttface unfortunately having to be dressed as his Krampus/Reindeer hybrid, even his special rider form having the said motifs thanks to two fanmade large raise buckles I thought of called the Krampus Buckle and the Reindeer Buckle.

"Krampus! Set! Reindeer! Set!" "Dual On! Get Ready for Krampus & Reindeer! Ready, Fight!"

Also, the Reindeer Buckle has Buffabutt with a giant ass sleigh (that Grinch Jyamato!Daichi would ride on) chained behind him that he has to haul with all his strength to pull...that and it allows the him to run mid-air.

"You're a shitty one... Kabuto-Wannabe or Ditch-Sparrow- Oh I don't fucking know!" - Cue DGP Staff Member No. 5 in the process of trying to come up with the lyrics a lousy parody of "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch", while Win is coming up with the rock instrumentals for the cover

Oh and to counter the Christmas threat, Ace also gets his own Christmas related large raise buckle called the Santa Buckle that he'll probably have to use in conjunction with a probably Christmas-modified Boost Buckle. (still dunno what to call his santa themed form tbh...) And we do call Ace Fox Jesus here...and iirc, Christmas is also the day to celebrate Jesus Christ, so...that also fits. "Santa! Set!" (Cue rest of the henshin announcement)

But yeah, that's all I got for now... XD

...I can live with this being the Christmas special (and not the ones Takahashi is known for)