#fuck yeah existentialism

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 231

doomed timeline

u ever think about how literally every single one of the thousands of aradias that traveled back to fight in the trolls' boss battle was from a doomed timeline where she had to a) watch all her friends die b) process that she was also doomed and c) then power through all that to do a bunch of time travel detective work so that she could advise the alpha iterations of her friends on how to avoid splitting into that doomed timeline in the first place? before traveling to a battle she knew she wouldn't make it out of?

yeah man

[shakingparadigm]

okay but seriously all jokes aside I really do understand ivan. like having a schedule so packed and busy is so insanely draining no matter how long you've conditioned yourself to endure it. sacrificing certain things like lunch or sleep just to gain the slightest bit more time for yourself is something that feels almost essential to keeping yourself together and not feeling like you're losing yourself in the cycle completely. it's like its own little act of rebellion in a way, something along the lines of you can drown me in work and monotony but I'll keep carving these little spaces of time for what little I have for myself, even if I have to carve them out of my own chest. I will sacrifice parts of myself to ensure that I don't fully succumb to whatever you're trying to make me into. I am human, this is the proof, I will make time even if it ruins me. you know?? yeah. you get it

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Asagiri and Harukawa could not have delivered a scarier Halloween chapter if they tried because what the fuck was this—

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Oh, a new TADC episode. Why didn't I get notified? Eh, whatever. Can't wait to watch-

GOOSE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY HEART

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

moritz stiefel after having one (1) wet dream: i hope god kills me

[mamawasatesttube]

i don't know what circumstances would require bart to be able to drive a car but i want tim to have to teach him to drive a car so bad. kon is outside going "should i--? do you think--?" about whether to wrap the car in ttk just in case. cassie is sitting next to him like no... shhh... let it happen. bart already crashed a batmobile and tim still let him get behind the wheel of the redbird. kon i wanna see tim's face when this comes back to bite him in the ass and he realizes he really needs to learn how to say no to bart. don't deprive me of this kon

[xxplastic-cubexx]

I know that someone said this before, but if you DID make an X-Men au comic run which eras of the series would inspire these comics, how would you write them, and would you have Magneto or some other major villain as the main antagonist?

maaaan i dont know... i can barely decide what i wanna have for lunch most days i just make silly one-off comics i dont got the brain capacity for all that....

[fumifooms]

Hello👋 I came here from your Maki-Angel AO3 fic. I really enjoyed reading your Makima analysis on here. It's always awesome seeing people reflect on her character. I'm also quite normal about her. I remember hating her on my first reading. But as time went on, her whole arc and existence resonated with me. What were your impressions after your first run through Part 1? Did you love her from the outset, or did it take time to build?

(Mentioned makiangel fic here! Give it a look maybe~)

This is like really long lol I recount my reading experience like a dramatic play. For the occasion it's now my Makima central post for talking about my personal thoughts on her and all, I also recommend some fics and fanart at the end.

Have my little Makima shrine that I look at with wistful sighs. I want the Yoyo studio bust of her so bad but it only comes as a purchase bonus for an expensive af figure. Also the zaohua figure but I'll keep dreaming

I actually may have the weirdest chainsaw man reading experience... I actually read Chainsaw Man part 1 FOR Makima. She was my fuel and my drive to keep reading, knowing more about her and what happened to her was the thing keeping me reading. At the time I didn't know fujimoto like that™️ yet so I didn't really have built up trust in his writing and I took everything at face value sort of. The humor, the shonen-ness of some of the story really wasn't for me, and as an ace I don't like putting sexuality and romance on a pedestral of importance, when it isn't done self-awarely.

I like to say about csm actually that it does this really interesting thing where it starts out making you suspend your disbelief about red flags. There's obviously something wrong about Makima from the very get-go, but it's not really like Aki and Power were nice healthy buddies for Denji at first either. Everyone introduces CSM as being this craaAAazyyYy series so sure, okay, a messy morally ambiguous cast à la Dorohedoro, love that! Her weirdass direct and smiling behavior had me intrigued scene 1.

And having a character be blatantly uncanny and ominous despite having done nothing much actually wrong yet is the best way to activate my charitability neurones... I was consciously dismissing the red flags listen I drunk the koolaid- it actually gave me this very interesting experience of being in denji's shoes about Makima. Early on I shipped Denji Makima and I clungggg to that hug in the first meeting, I clung to that warmth I clung to every bit of humanity she showed. I clung to it maybe being a underdog x underdog story, I thought... I thought she could have a redemption arc like Power and all, I thought Denji could fix Makima I thought he could complement her very cold practical mindset and ground her 😭😭 I cheered when she didn't die in the train, I cared about nothing else.

So obviously that did not go very well for me. When she died let me tell you I MOURNED Makima, I also had to mourn their relationship alongside her- it was really masterfully done of just pushing and pushing until it couldn't be denied in the slightest that the relationship was abusive, plain and simple, and that Makima wouldn't change. That the way Denji defeats her works because she never cared about him in the slightest at all- tough pill to swallow that crushed my soul, 10/10 unforgettable Fujimoto I trust you with my life now. But you know, I couldn't help myself from still loving her, for my heart still aching for her and wanting to see the humanity in her- Denji's sushi reaction about still loving your abuser rang so true. Makima feels like she was MY abusive partner 😂 So i see her as someone who couldn't be saved from herself, sort of. Denying to yourself that you crave connection and love never goes well. So in the end the thing about Nayuta and giving her the hugs Makima couldn't receive really comforts me a lot. You can't save makima, but you can do good in her memory, even if all she left you was empty adoration and hurt. Am the #1 hater of the "the control devil can only be evil" theory.

And then the next level of this is that for like a year I did not actually complete my read of Chainsaw Man. That's right, I dropped Chainsaw Man... It's only with part 2, which is much more my thing story wise, that I started reading again- still avoiding reading what I skipped in part 1. Last year I eventually did binge part 1, but I really had to prepare myself mentally for it for a long time first.

What was so bad I dropped you ask? Reze. Reze's debut. I'm not kidding lol, even now I still dislike Reze, sure it's some of what she did too but it was mostly what she represented, the tropes and plot progression she brought with her. Reze showed up and Denji started crushing on her, and immediately I knew where the story was going. Immediately I knew it wasn't going the Makima redemption route. Ah shit red flags real. You don't introduce a secondary love interest in a story like that like THAT without setting up themes of moving on and letting go and noooooo no I did NOT want to let go of Makima. So I skimmed ahead and my fears got confirmed and then I stopped. I wallowed. Then an hour later I go to the chainsaw man wikipage for Makima and spoil myself on everything. Oh she's the control devil? Checks out. Oh she wants to set her own world order and wants to have an authorotarian government? Yeah she would... Too true...... And then I did read the last chapter and I did grow a lot of appreciation for Fujimoto and the whole story. Ah shit it was about abuse all along and u played me like a fiddle. Sob. So when I say I mourned makima, -gestures-.

I stewed in my feelings for a long time and just sorta digested my emotions and thoughts and curled up in a ball on the floor rolling sobbing chanting her name in misery. My appreciation for Denji and Fujimoto's writing grew directly as my unconditional love for Makima wilted. I have a lot of love for Denji and a lot of respect for Fujimoto.

I tend to have a character reading style where I get my enjoyment and emotions from growing to understand and be attached to characters more than events happening and keeping action going. Sort of instead of "what happens next" my drive is "what happens TO THEM next". By latching onto bits of psychology I find interesting or promising that means i got really attached to Makima hard and fast. I knowww pass me the clown wig.

She does target a lot of my specific interests in characters though. My favorites things ate the undesirable and the dehumanized- and the control devil Makima plays into both (because her desirability is limited by her feeling uncanny and it being an instinctive red flag) but mostly the latter, hard. I love people having a hard time finding somewhere to belong, I love nonhuman characters willingly or nof craving being human, I love characters struggling with their humanity (even when they aren't human! But you can't outrun a desire for bonds and emotions), I love characters who don't know how to give or receive love. Even when characters are pure evil I will always attempt to humanize, even if it's just for the sake of understanding them onesidedly. Seeking the humanij thd inhuman is MY SHIT!! Esp as someone who gets dehumanized for not being born intuively understanding socialization, either. Part of her resonates with me, the afab autism vibe and demeanor, the scripted way she approaches socializing, the perfectionism to compensate, the rigidity and the self-preservation of denying she has feelings. If denjima was endgame it WOULD have been addictive to me, reading redemption arc longfics 1000 times. Well the reveal Denji is 16 did have me horrified but in a perfect world yk. But no instead makima is an exercice in things being tailored for me, yes being humanized in canon which considering her character ia frankly surprising, but being told very firmly "No, they can't get better". Don't get me wrong the angst is great and I love pain, but man, even with like Metal Sonic's chronix self-destructive obsession there are silver linings. So no instead i just get to read fics about her and her dogs chilling together with crumbs of happiness and make my peace that she's doomed, that this is doomed. She's tragic, that's what she is to me. Falls down a flight of stairs

I yearn for a world where I could love her unconditionally and the meta IS part of the angst for me. I watch this edit a lot:

Makima with Washing Machine Heart really does go unfathomably hard "I know who you pretend I am" not as 'you love another' but as 'you hold onto this version where I am nice instead of untrustworthy, as this idol as- Ughhh ugh ugh ugh ugh I love trying to understand her I love the slope of her eyes I love the way she emotes and moves and her petty or opiniated words whenever she lets herself intone I love whatever I can glean from her impersonal unfeeling brick wall persona, I love the person I pretend she is.

So yes I never hated Makima but she did hurt me a lot.

Recommendations time!!!

Slice of life Makima is a fic genre I really like, I have a couple of wips in store for that I might get around to too. Here are my Makima fics ao3 bookmarks:

Sanctum

Girl Synanthrope

In this world, we walk on the roof of hell gazing at flowers

(No preview this time just read it)

I actually discovered makiangel on a binge of fics like this, with the tags Makima + character study on I think, with Terrible Fish which I also really recommend. I love exploring characters and making them have arcs specifically through relationships they have a lot, which leads me to shipping being important to me. No ship with her fit quite right for the longest time though, they're all doomed of course, but Denji doesn't provoke much in her, I like Makima x quanxi and I also entertained x Kishibe and x Power, but makiangel just CLICKED. You've already heard my manifesto but I'll have to make a makiangel ramble on tumblr too eventually I swear.....

Say no more, fellow of huge brain size. I am on the boat

Fanart wise, I only really have one peeson to recommend, Psicheanima.

They also hold this Makima rp twitter account reviewing movies and talking about everday situations, which like I mentioned I love, Makima slice of life 🫶

And while I'm here, linking my Makima spotify playlist again.

It's very cathartic for me to write about her even when you can never overstate the rot that she is, the aching infected wound, the destructive ruthlessness of her.

I'm aware this post may make me look insane but whatever lol, art can make emotional fools out of all of us and that's precious I think.

[kakyogay]

so I've been playing ultrakill and finally got to see the funny visual novel secret level after not knowing a single thing about it other than mirage

I could have never predicted any of that bro wh

[vaguely-concerned]

I was going to have rye maaaybe start to buy into solas' whole johnny silverhand deal a little bit more in the post-weisshaupt talk -- to Progress the Arc tm/set up the beginning softening in that relationship and heighten the effect when it eventually goes. quite another way entirely -- but the sheer spectacular cruelty in hindsight of 'at least you still have varric to talk to' is such that considering where I'm intending to end up with this narratively, the stoic 'not here to make friends you fucker gimme your intel' option is simply irresistible. gotta have that echo rattling around rye's head forever when he decides that you know what? I have had enough of being nice, actually. I do want to go ape shit. someone hold my coat for me please I have some work to do and I don't want to stain it. guess for now the ol' watcher training & instincts are still kicking in enough for them to treat solas like a tricky spirit you should treat with respect and good intentions, but also shouldn't be out there offering little fingers to unless you have a whole arm lying around to spare haha

[moonytoast-x]

guys nothing is real and society is a nightmare but its about to collapse so i kinda want to get drunk. is this y2k

[angelsndragons]

damn the “bad orym” takes have been rather rancid, lately, huh

like tell me you have no conception or connection to military folk without telling me that because like

everything orym’s done makes sense from that perspective. like literally everything.

and don’t tell me he’s “lost his way” because he “allowed” delilah to come back. orym didn’t engage when bor’dor attacked. laudna did. laudna called on delilah’s power to knock out bor’dor. whether she killed him or not is irrelevant in terms of the delilah situation. laudna made the choice.

orym is now voicing his anger and impatience and pain. that’s a good thing, kids. because otherwise you spend five years of your life avoiding the people you love and the job you love and the home you love.

sure, mourn what war does to people. but don’t think for a second that he’s dark or evil for fighting it.

[bumblingbabooshka]

"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']

[daydrinking75]

im sorry my parents read c&p FOR SCHOOL and have the audacity to be homophobic towards me when this man is talking about how hot his protagonist is on page 4 out of nowhere? thats some gay psychosexual shit

[creatively-cosmic]

missing numbers was secretly a ploy to get really really into doing worldbuilding based on this extremely specific in-universe pseudo-meta horror based in the pokemon franchise. a lot of stuff we're cooking past gens 1+2 is original content based in the spirit of the classic trainerpastas based on those games... something something its all about the natural next step and the world of Pokemon is so fundamentally fucked. idkkkk smiles