#fuck yeah existentialism
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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day 231
doomed timeline
u ever think about how literally every single one of the thousands of aradias that traveled back to fight in the trolls' boss battle was from a doomed timeline where she had to a) watch all her friends die b) process that she was also doomed and c) then power through all that to do a bunch of time travel detective work so that she could advise the alpha iterations of her friends on how to avoid splitting into that doomed timeline in the first place? before traveling to a battle she knew she wouldn't make it out of?
yeah man
#day 231#year 5#aradia megido#homestuck#AradiaAugust#and then of course there's alpha tl aradia#who didnt have to witness all of that#but probably did have to hear from a lot of those doomed aradias#like just going about her day when another version of herself appears and says 'hey i just witnessed (insert fucked up timeline end here)'#'and i need you to tell so and so to not do xyz so that everyone we care about doesnt die'#just like alt selves popping in on the reg to warn her about all these existential threats before dying themselves#YEAH MAN.....#fuckin Woof#like no shade to davesprite fans love yall but also imagine all the angst that has ever been written about davesprite's grief#and then multiply it by many thousands#you gotta understand. i am unwell about her.
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okay but seriously all jokes aside I really do understand ivan. like having a schedule so packed and busy is so insanely draining no matter how long you've conditioned yourself to endure it. sacrificing certain things like lunch or sleep just to gain the slightest bit more time for yourself is something that feels almost essential to keeping yourself together and not feeling like you're losing yourself in the cycle completely. it's like its own little act of rebellion in a way, something along the lines of you can drown me in work and monotony but I'll keep carving these little spaces of time for what little I have for myself, even if I have to carve them out of my own chest. I will sacrifice parts of myself to ensure that I don't fully succumb to whatever you're trying to make me into. I am human, this is the proof, I will make time even if it ruins me. you know?? yeah. you get it
#man you know life is getting TOUGH when you read “skip lunch for personal time” on a fictional characters fictional silly interview#and then feel so empathetic and impacted by that fuckass sentence that it makes you emotional#sorry guys this is another para loser moment#its been rough man. like. i need to stop projecting seriously#“its not that deep!!!!!” you know what is though? my fucking eyebags man. ivans too i know he's hiding them somewhere somehow#anyway yeah. ivan you are so real.#i too indulge in unhealthy behavior just to feel the slightest bit in control of my life again#if ivans way of coping and keepin it together is to stare at till from across the cafeteria table and lick blood instead of lunch#well who i am to judge him man like. do what you gotta do#post of shame sorry guys im embarrassed to tag this#alnst#alien stage#alnst ivan#alien stage ivan#is this dramatic? yea. sorry#he ws just so real for that. do whatever you gotta do to cure that hashtag work life existential crisis king#PARA STOP PROJECTING CHALLENGE#para.musing
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Asagiri and Harukawa could not have delivered a scarier Halloween chapter if they tried because what the fuck was this—
#bungou stray dogs#bsd 120#bsd spoilers#bro i was already chuckling nervously with Fyodor so casually breaking the fourth wall and HOLDING THE PANEL IN HIS HAND#while essentially referencing BOOK CHARACTERS AND THE READERS (LOOKING RIGHT AT US!!!!!)#AND THEN SEEING THE TITLE OF THE CHAPTER BE /AN ACTUAL PANEL/ AND THE LAST PANEL NO LESS#MAKING ME FUCKING SCROLL BACK TO THE START ONLY TO REALIZE THE TITLE NEVER ACTUALLY SHOWED UP AT THE START LIKE NORMAL#when i tell you that put the fear of god in me. oh my god. ohm y god-#legit shivers down my spine. looking out my window...... fyodor if you're there..........#thanks asagiri i didn't need an existential crisis tonight it's fine!!! hahaha i'm good!!!! *SCREAMS*#bros we are literally on the cusp of this shit going full bore meta i'm not even joking anymore. asagiri is COOKING and i am SCARED!!!!!!#in a good way but still!!!!! aaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH#what else. oh yeah akutagawa died again ig lol that happened.
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Oh, a new TADC episode. Why didn't I get notified? Eh, whatever. Can't wait to watch-
GOOSE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY HEART
#hey dont look down here there are spoilers#the amazing digital circus#tadc episode 3#tadc ep 3#tadc episode three#KINGER HAD A WIFE?! WHO DIED?!?!?!?#THOSE WHO ABSTRACT CAN BE CALMED AND REGAIN THEMSELVES?!?!#ZOOBLE BODY DYSMORPHIA?!#and ofc most important JAX IS HOMOPHOBIC??!?!??1111#lmao nah seriously though this was good shit#i still dont cry over media very often even though trans meds got me fucked up#like the only films ive cried over are itsv nwh(cause i was pissed at the ending) gotg3 and i saw the tv glow#but dangit even if i dont cry i still get emotional. the team was absolutely cooking with this episode#i like that certain characters are getting more focus. kingers comedy honestly started to drag just a little bit but then bam#also zooble learned never to give god an existential crisis cause HOO BOY#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#glitch animation#indie animation#oh yeah also sometjing something pomni ragatha shipping material or whtv#idk. you get this#🤨🏳️🌈?
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moritz stiefel after having one (1) wet dream: i hope god kills me
#please god give me consumption and take these sticky dreams away#with any luck he’ll ignore that prayer#dwsa#spring awakening#deaf west spring awakening#moritz stiefel#melchritz#daniel durant#alex boniello#john gallagher jr.#this is a deaf west spring awakening house#yeet my deet#i really fuck with that energy#i don’t have the wet dream anatomy#but i know i would have the same reaction#i am always a fraction of a second away from “this is giving me an existential crisis i should die”#mental health 👍#why is he haunted by the legs of a woman?#oh yeah because he’s gay#and terrified of society’s heteronormative expectations of him#moritz is gaaaaaaaay#melchior gabor#fuck melchior gabor all my homies hate melchior gabor#touch me#catholic guilt#pp42??#bog#hbdnell
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i don't know what circumstances would require bart to be able to drive a car but i want tim to have to teach him to drive a car so bad. kon is outside going "should i--? do you think--?" about whether to wrap the car in ttk just in case. cassie is sitting next to him like no... shhh... let it happen. bart already crashed a batmobile and tim still let him get behind the wheel of the redbird. kon i wanna see tim's face when this comes back to bite him in the ass and he realizes he really needs to learn how to say no to bart. don't deprive me of this kon
#im still just always thinking of how tim let bart fly the batplane after that#and then bart crashed it DIRECTLY INTO KON#bart asks tim if he can drive the redbird and tim just uh......... yeah just be careful :)#kon and cassie in the background: HE SAID YES? HE FUCKING SAID YES? TO *BART?* HE DOESN'T LET *US* DRIVE HIS CAR BUT HE SAYS YES TO BART--#anyway i think it would be really funny if bart just got a huuuuge awful scratch along the side#it's not totaled. but it's enough to send tim into existential despair for the evening#core four#tim#kon#cassie#bart
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just realizinf it ALSO looks like alva has lichtenburg scars im CRYING
YEAH IK WAAHHH
#they fucking robbed Luca of them i stg#but yeah absolutely those scars are from the accident#do you think Alva only narrowly escaped serious brain damage because him being revived restored it#and he'd spent a while feeling existential about wow i could have been so fucked up#and then he finds Luca again and realises that LUCA has all the damage#goddd
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my take on @misssicknesss 's lovely template + some reasoning behind it on the tags bc i feel like. explaining myself (original below the cut)
#ok so. i wanna start saying that picking a favorite antagonist was the toughest shit ever#bc all the antagonists of the franchise are freaking amazing. alexander? no comment he is a perfect example of a perfect villain.#he sacrificed so much again and again and again for a chance to be where he belongs again and honestly the agony he feels#he just wanted to be with his true love#its so understandable#tihana is sort of the same#her themes and her own story interwinded with tasi's story felt so perfect#she didnt care about being the empress nor about eternal life#she just wanted to love and feel loved truly by a baby of her own#someone she could raise and care and look out for#but the engineer hits me different#i love everything about a machine for pigs truly but he is a really perfect antagonist#he is literally a mirror of mandus's actions and desires#his own riot against humanity turned against him#its not even clear if the engineer is really a conscious that can speak or if hes only in mandus's mind and honestly it doesnt matter at al#he guides mandus through his internal battle against his own consciousness#beliefs and actions#and he is so well acted i love it big time#so yeah in my heart its ALL of them but since i had to choose one.....#same goes for favorite game#my favorites are the bunker and a machine for pigs okay but rebirth has such a special fucking place in my heart#and so does the og and justine#all of these games are so unique and perfect on their own way#they all have their own thing going on be it on story thematics or gameplay wise but#they all also have something in common#first is that you can throw stuff around and second#these all are very human existential dreadful stories#where the real horror comes from being who you are and dealing with it#anyway i cant explain more bc theres no more tags so thank if you read this umm#amnesia game
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so I've been playing ultrakill and finally got to see the funny visual novel secret level after not knowing a single thing about it other than mirage
I could have never predicted any of that bro wh
#an existential crisis????#in my funny blood is fuel video game????#my friend who knows a whole lotta speedrun stuff had also never seen it before so both of us were blind#what a thing to experience blind#anyways enjoying it so far#swordsmachine was a little hard v2 is just tennis and fuck gabriel I want minos back the lore said he was chill#oh yeah also fuck that lobster thing so glad soap exists#anyways back to maybe drawing :P
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I was going to have rye maaaybe start to buy into solas' whole johnny silverhand deal a little bit more in the post-weisshaupt talk -- to Progress the Arc tm/set up the beginning softening in that relationship and heighten the effect when it eventually goes. quite another way entirely -- but the sheer spectacular cruelty in hindsight of 'at least you still have varric to talk to' is such that considering where I'm intending to end up with this narratively, the stoic 'not here to make friends you fucker gimme your intel' option is simply irresistible. gotta have that echo rattling around rye's head forever when he decides that you know what? I have had enough of being nice, actually. I do want to go ape shit. someone hold my coat for me please I have some work to do and I don't want to stain it. guess for now the ol' watcher training & instincts are still kicking in enough for them to treat solas like a tricky spirit you should treat with respect and good intentions, but also shouldn't be out there offering little fingers to unless you have a whole arm lying around to spare haha
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#I LOVED weisshaupt as a mission tho. I've seen it through multiple times and still my heart was going so fucking fast haha#also bringing lucanis with you is SO funny and weirdly sweet even tho you miss the 'you call that nice and quiet??' part#(you get neve just swearing instead! a very good substitute hfdskjah sorry neve...)#it really feels like he and rook keep turning to each other as everything escalates exponentially with like...#helpless and numb but deeply companionable shrugs. we are both equally near-existentially baffled by this. but at least#we are near-existentially baffled by this *together*. thanks man. yeah I mean. she IS a cloud. i don't know what else to say here#all we can do is give it a shot right. yeah. yup. good talk dude check in with you in a minute we gotta kill some ghouls#and then the Arcs both lucanis and rye are on with davrin too especially when they're all making peace in the library...#*steeples fingers with narrative glee and excitement* yes yeeess it's all coming together#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#I love solas so much. but that comment is straight up so awful. he says it sooo... *smugly*. it's because he's frustrated#at his powerlessness and being denied access to rook's interior life and getting his hooks into them psychologically I realize#which is his best and only path back to agency at this point#but it's such an ugly instinct to drop something like that in there because it makes YOU feel better#that was not just a 'oh better remind rook they can always talk to their old pal varric for tactical reasons!' there was feeling in that#tho you know the reason I love solas is primarily the multiple other comments he has through that convo#that are laugh out loud hilarious to me. he's such a little SHIT!!! always and forever <3#listen man... in another life I'll come back for you and we'll be kinder to each other that time in the end huh
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damn the “bad orym” takes have been rather rancid, lately, huh
like tell me you have no conception or connection to military folk without telling me that because like
everything orym’s done makes sense from that perspective. like literally everything.
and don’t tell me he’s “lost his way” because he “allowed” delilah to come back. orym didn’t engage when bor’dor attacked. laudna did. laudna called on delilah’s power to knock out bor’dor. whether she killed him or not is irrelevant in terms of the delilah situation. laudna made the choice.
orym is now voicing his anger and impatience and pain. that’s a good thing, kids. because otherwise you spend five years of your life avoiding the people you love and the job you love and the home you love.
sure, mourn what war does to people. but don’t think for a second that he’s dark or evil for fighting it.
#cr discourse#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym#like#i just cannot with this#yeah the nod's a little fucked up#but what were they supposed to do there exactly#sometimes we treat our friends like fucking adults#ludinus is an existential threat kids#and orym being open to laudna wielding delilah's power#in the face of that threat#is both reasonable#and says a lot about how much he trusts laudna
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"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']
#Serving Jesus realness#star trek screenshots#Janeway#iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands#I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals#Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE#Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar#AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core#also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth#I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true#the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead#and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh.#Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine#Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!!#great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3#anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that#doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits#Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!
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im sorry my parents read c&p FOR SCHOOL and have the audacity to be homophobic towards me when this man is talking about how hot his protagonist is on page 4 out of nowhere? thats some gay psychosexual shit
#i do the same thing#yk i cant wait to get to his circle of hell id love to say hi#dostoyevsky#shitpost#memes#philosophy#russian literature#your mom#smoking wiile reading this fuck yeah#in the library#avoiding going home#existential dread
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missing numbers was secretly a ploy to get really really into doing worldbuilding based on this extremely specific in-universe pseudo-meta horror based in the pokemon franchise. a lot of stuff we're cooking past gens 1+2 is original content based in the spirit of the classic trainerpastas based on those games... something something its all about the natural next step and the world of Pokemon is so fundamentally fucked. idkkkk smiles
#the adaptation-based characters are like the gateway drug#into our (the mod teams) obsession with digital existential cosmic horror themes and the narrative of loss of identity... etc etc#we're talking behind the scenes abt future stuff again and i just felt like rambling a bit#bc its like ummmm oopsies. yeah the original content :x#mn diary#at any rate id consider mn a creepypasta based *pokemon* au than a creepypasta au but its all horror at the end of the day#i just hope our followers enjoy the stuff that isnt just the popular blorbos...#not that i really care that much. in the end mn is a personal story we're doing for ourselves more than anyone and that means-#doing and including whatever we see fit.#its just been nice n really encouraging to have a small but active audience regardless#and i always appreciate that yall have been on board with all the crazier stuff we've dropped so far ^-^“#um. here's to the future of missing numbers! yayyy#god one more funny if i gave a shit about fandom popularity i would NOT be doing a full as adaptation and retelling-#of FUCKING ABANDON LONLINESS of all things brother ive seen NOBODY post about that lmao#was anyone else REALLY into that one as a kid or was that just me
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man, I love A Link Between Worlds... sometimes I remember it, its hyper-competent yet humble design and storytelling proposal, and I genuinely think that makes it among my favorite Zelda games ;;
#thoughts#albw#the dungeons are *so good* the level design is peak classic zelda formula imo#the very idea of its non-linearity#while maybe not executed to its fullest?#is sooo compelling to me#I think they were experimenting with design elements here that eventually led to botw's formula#(and I do prefer albw as far as non-linearity goes btw)#(I'm a “semi-open world/world in hub” truther u_u I believe it makes for more authorial and controlled set design which I prefer)#the near-folksy take on the more gothic alttp is really good#(yeah btw: I think alttp might be the most traditionally gothic zelda game to me? moreso than mm's or tp)#(alttp feels like a rotting world with one guiding faith dwindling against constant corruption/the dusk of better times)#(the world is so hostile and full of ruins and cold and dark and even the npcs are often against you! its ambiance is quite something)#(the rainy introduction and your uncle who fucking *dies* immediately... sorry I'm talking about alttp in my albw post now ;;)#and the LORE it introduces in regards to the triforce is so compelling and existentially shocking?#even if it hides itself very well#the characters also! not super developed but really charming#it's such a charming game#might be among my favorite 2D Zeldas if not my favorite honestly
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