#fuck them for real!!!!

[cheekblush]

just had a REALIZATION while dancing to old school rnb music in my room: i am beautiful, i am intelligent, i am funny, thoughtful, kindhearted and witty, i am capable of anything i put my mind to and i can’t believe i let some stupid bitches at work make me feel anything less than that!

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[butchniqabi]

here's list of Palestinians who have reached out to me, please donate if you can

posted august 23rd 2024

@ahmed-mohammed1 vetted here €4,935/€30,000

@hadeelmekki vetted here €15,295/€35,000

@mohiy-gaza vetted here $17,546/$31,000

@yazanfamilly vetted here €10,695/€50,000

@olagaza vetted here (line 205) $29,723/$50,000

@ahmedalnabeeh11 vetted here €23,008/€30,000

@save-mohamed-family vetted here (line 192) $9,946/$50,000

@wafaaresh6 vetted here €28,300/€100,000

@atalah-mohammed vetted here €12,735/€82,000

@abdullahgaza vetted here (line 81) €81,851/€120,000

@save-ahmed-family1 €1,023/€20,000

@asmaayyad vetted here €11,646/€45,000

@bisanalbalawi18 vetted here €37,551/€50,000

@ezzaldeens-blog €297/€20,000

@yousefjehad3 vetted here (line 255) $3,487/$15,000

@hanaa-yousef vetted here (line 246) £11,071/£20,000

@noor-alanqar vetted here €20,427/€40,000

@mahmoud-1995 vetted here $11,709/$50,000

@sabahfamily £7,570/£50,000

@fatma--gaza vetted here €5,530/€20,000

@nisreensuhail vetted here €1,984/€50,000

@sameer-family vetted here $2,259/$50,000

@abdelmutei €10,718/€25,000

@safaabed8 vetted here €28,261/€90,000

@kareem-family vetted here €7,252/€20,000

@ahmedhelllis vetted here €10,473/€80,000

@asmaamajed2 vetted here $3,570/$50,000

@shimaajoj2 €3,302/€50,000

@nourfamily1989 vetted here $14,240/$90,000

[rendevok]

Act I ~ The Prince

A tapestry for Let No One Sleep by @azalawa-scroggs on ao3

[harrywavycurly]

I just know it’s gonna really hit me the moment one of the boys says something and then I’m gonna lose it.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[mzminola]

Every time I see news of crowds agitating against Israel outside a synagogue, or museum, or Jewish day school full of children, or restaurant, or educational event, and so on in the US, every time my thought is why the fuck aren't you holding this 'protest' at city hall? Or your state legislature? Or your federal reps' offices?

A random Jewish institution in the United States has absolutely zero power to affect the decisions made by Israel's parliament or military. You're not "raising awareness" or "drawing attention to the issue" because the general public of the US is already at least somewhat aware thanks to the news, and Jewish people are in fact one of the groups in the US to be the most fucking aware of what's going on.

If you are upset by US military aid going to Israel, you need to convince your federal representatives to change that. Those reps do not base US military foreign aid policy on random US citizens harassing other US citizens.

If you want the US to provide more civilian relief in the form of food, medicine, or helping refugees come here, you need to convince reps at every level. Can your city partner with a refugee organization to arrange housing? Can your governor arrange scholarships or exchange programs to state universities? Can the feds channel more funds to Doctors Without Borders?

Do a write and call-in campaign. Hold your protest at legislatures. File a petition. Do something to directly express your desires to the elected officials who have a direct say in policy.

We've held protests at city halls and state legislatures and federal buildings for centuries. Why aren't you doing so for this issue?

Why are you macing people attending synagogue? They have no more power over elected officials' choices than you do.

Why are you screaming at schoolchildren? They have less power over elected officials' choices than you do.

Why are you blocking entrance to a museum? Hold a fundraiser to build your own, if you want to educate people so badly!

I know the antisemites don't actually care about US military & foreign aid policy. I know the racists are simply reveling in an excuse to whip up a mob to attack Jews. It's obvious.

But if you really, truly want to help the people of Gaza, you need to stop being part of that hateful mob, and organize your own, real political actions that directly engages with your elected representatives.

[nova-rpv]

a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[shotmrmiller]

re: rugby team ghoap

it'd been a one-off, seize-the-moment kind of thing. casual hookups aren't really for you, plus you distinctly remember your ex prating on about how the team would only be here for the weekend hence the absolute burning need to go, and you've got work monday.

goodbye, great knowing them. you'd traipsed out of the hotel room with your sneakers in hand, soap's used jersey in the other- a memento of sorts, a trophy. mild serial killer behavior but you reckon since you just became another pearl in their long string of conquests, the least you could do is take something with you that won't be gone with a warm epsom salt bath and a couple of days rest.

("would ye believe yer the prettiest we've ever brought back with us?" right. you know where you stand on that scale, and people like you don't typically pull men like them. another cringe-worthy comment like that and you'd mistake their interest with pity.)

you'd put both jerseys in the wash later that day, and the rattling of your washing machine marked the end of your exciting weekend.

or so you'd thought. from your side of things, you'd wiped your hands clean of their sweat, spit and come and went home, once again falling back into semi-familiarity, expecting to go to work feeling completely relaxed and loose, in more ways than one, while ignoring the photos taken of you and the "star players" at the stadium on social media.

(no one caught your face, what bloody luck.)

when you see them again, it's by pure chance. you'd been ordering a sandwich at a deli down the street, hand already reaching for your wallet when an arm curls around your shoulders, dark, coarse hair of a forearm brushing against your cheek.

cedarwood and citrus. it clings to your senses— a sharp, tangy reminder of that time you'd only look back on when the familiar pang of want pooled searing hot between your legs. small world, you suppose.

"didnae leave a note. stole my jersey. 'm surprised ye didnae leave us money on the table, bonnie." warmth flared beneath your cheeks but you didn't cow to his crude joke.

"i suppose i could've left a tip. what do you want?"

the playful lines around his eyes smoothed as his lips straightened into a firm line, his eyes frostbitten. you ignore the way his touch makes you feel trapped, tethered, a cage made of velvet.

"took my shirt and then didn't show up to a single game after tha'. jus' gettin' wha' i'm owed. unless he's yer favorite."

how can he be your favorite when you know nothing about the sport they play and have no interest in knowing?

"too bad. we come as a package. get yer food, we've a place nearby."

(simon had been nowhere near as good-natured as johnny had about you leaving without a word. made you spit out apologies with swollen lips, only accepted the ones that came with a fluttering of your raw pussy around the splitting thickness of him while soap condescendingly cooed in your ear about lessons having to be learned the hard way.)

[the-thing-withfeathers]

you’ll just have to taste me when he’s kissin’ you

[purrvaire]

they're so in love im gonna throw up real quick

[drowsemp3]

from batman #148

literally the page after he died. can we all stop freaking out now.

[ohitslen]

Average university experience

[nobie]

it makes me physically ill thinking about what we could've had *ugly crying*

[froggieetmblr]

“They’re murderous animatronics” THEN WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THEY GIVE SUCH COMFORTING HUGS