#fuck the jealous old hags

[seraphimumbra]

My guy did nothing wrong 🗣️

[jarognieva]

I gave up on everything

[minarisplaything]

I Know What You Want ft. Wonyoung

premise: Inspired by those "your birth month is your ex gf and your current gf" slideshows on tiktok. Might do more of these because they are light and fun.  

pairing: Wonyoung x Male Reader content warning/kinks: cheating, daddy kink, anal a/n: happy sunday, always lube up properly o7 audio version (note: audio version is without daddy kink bc i got too lazy to edit around it) wc: 2.4k

"Isn't she a little old for you?" Wonyoung asked, a hint of annoyance in her tone. 

"You sound jealous." 

She shrugged. "I'm not jealous. I just didn't realize Sunmi-sunbaenim was into robbing the cradle." 

"I'm twenty-one," you pointed out. Surely grown enough to make your own decisions on who you dated.  

"She's thirty-two," Wonyoung countered. 

You let out an annoyed sigh, "I'm not doing this with you today, Wonyoung. Why did you want to meet?" 

Wonyoung bristled at your directness, her posture straightening as she scoffed. "You start fucking some hag and you start acting brand new around me." 

"Some hag? Really? Wasn't it you who kept saying how much you adored Sunmi-sunbaenim?" 

"That was before she took what was mine."  

You let out a bark of dry laughter. "I'm not yours. I don't belong to you, Wonyoung." 

A healthy response would have been to accept the setting of boundaries and acknowledge their mistake. Which naturally meant that Wonyoung took your words as a challenge.  

"Is that right?" she asked, taking a step towards you. "You belong to her now, huh?" 

"That's right." Which wasn't exactly true. You didn't think you belonged to anyone but something about the entitlement she was acting with made you respond out of indignation.  

What you didn't expect was for her hand to reach out, manicured fingers sliding down to grasp your crotch. "Then why do I still get you hard?"  

"Wonyoung -- "  

A thin eyebrow arched itself, the picture of arrogance. "Are you going to deny it?" 

"Your delusional."  

"Am I?" She began to massage your cock over your clothing, and despite your protest, your cock was all too eager to respond to her familiar touch. "Are you telling me if I bent over right now you wouldn't fuck me against this wall?" 

God you hated her. Or at least you should. The reality was that despite your separation. Despite the toxicity that had existed in your relationship. Despite being in a happy relationship now. There would always be a part of you that was weak to her. To both her advances and her behavior. 

As if sensing your wavering disposition, her touch became heavier. "I'm not wearing any panties under this skirt," she said her tone taking on an innocent air. "Just the way Daddy likes." 

That was all it took.  

It was pathetically easy in the end for Wonyoung to get you to snap. Though, if anyone was going to be capable of it, it was going to be her. She knew you too well, for better and for worse. In fact, you wouldn't be surprised if her whole look today; the mid-thigh length skirt, the cropped blouse that was a size too small and hugged her frame as a result. She even let her hair down today so it'd be easy for you to grab it. Combine that with her lack of underwear and calling you daddy and, well, you never stood a chance.  

You surged forward, gripping Wonyoung's shoulders and spinning her to face the wall. She lead out a delighted fit of laughter as she arched her back, pressing her ass against your groin. Your hands moved to your buckle, shoving down your pants to free your cock from its denim cage. 

"I can't stand you, you know that?" 

Wonyoung giggled as she tossed you a look over her shoulder, "Whatever you say, Daddy." 

With cock in hand you used the other to shove her skirt up, revealing that she had spoken true in her words. You could see her bare pussy, practically begging for you. You bit your bottom lip, hating that the thought of missing this crossed your mind. "You were waiting for this weren't you?" 

"Can you tell?" Wonyoung smiled wickedly, "Can't you see how wet I am for you?" 

You could. And if you needed any further confirmation you ran your cock between her legs, coating it in her arousal. You had to stop yourself from delving into any further foreplay. This was just a one-time fuck to get it out of your system. At least that was what you told yourself. But as you slipped the tip of your cock into her and began to thrust forward, you were reminded of why it had been so hard to quit Wonyoung in the first place. 

"Oh fuck yes, Daddy," Wonyoung said, her back arching further. "You feel how you're stretching my tight pussy? You haven't felt that in a while have you?" 

You bit back the urge to tell Wonyoung that wasn't how that worked. Now wasn't the time for a biology lesson nor defending your girlfriend's honor. Instead you focused on stuffing her inch by inch, watching as her pussy swallowed more and more of you until you were pressed flush against her ass. 

"Oh, fuck," you groaned out, your head falling forward slightly.  

"It feels good doesn't it? It's perfect," Wonyoung cooed. "We're perfect." 

Your brow furrowed slightly. "Don't think I'm won over that easily." 

Refusing to give into the sentiment that she was suggesting you slipped your cock out of her before stuffing her again and again. You repeated the process, each time going a bit hard, a bit faster while making sure she felt every inch of your cock. The truth was it was fucking heavenly. Sex had never been the reason your relationship fell apart. And even now months later it was like returning to something familiar. Despite yourself you wanted to enjoy this, for however long it lasted. 

Your fingers moved to tangle in her dark, wavy locks, pulling her head back as her lithe body shook with your rough thrusts.  

"You like that, Wony? This is what you wanted right?" You taunted, giving into the moment as you seized back control.  

"Yes!"  

"You couldn't find anyone else to fuck you this good could you?"  

"Noo," she moaned. 

You tugged on her hair roughly, "No, what?" 

"No one fucks me this good, Daddy!"  Wonyoung cried out. 

You rewarded her diligent response with a spank on her fit ass.  

"Mmmfph!" She moaned, biting her bottom lip as you continued to fuck her roughly. You could feel her walls tightening around you, her juices already dripping around your cock each time you pulled out of her. The telltale signs that her first orgasm was on the horizon were there for you to see. The way her cheeks flushed, the way her mouth hung upon as she did her best to hold herself against the wall. All she needed was for you to push her over the brink.  

"Are you going to come for me? Come for daddy," you whispered against her the shell of her ear as you stuffed her. 

"F-fuck! I'm coming!" Wonyoung cried out, not even bothering with trying to contain her moans of pleasure. The look on her face was pure ecstasy and you found it was a look that, despite having near memorized it, it was one you missed. 

Her walls tightened around your length as her orgasm shook her body. You were relentless, continuing to fuck the top idol through her climax. One arm slipped around her waist should her legs go weak on her. By the time it was all over she had leaned forward, her face pressed against the wall, her eyes slightly glazed over as her body rocked with your slower thrusts.  

  As you looked at her perfect ass still pointed out to you, an idea popped into your head. 

"Don't move" you instructed her, though you weren't sure if she comprehended you. 

You slipped your cock out of her, ignoring the lazy "Hey..." That came from Wonyoung at your action. You were still achingly hard and now thoroughly coated in her juices. That would come in handy soon enough. You got down on your knees, spreading her firm cheeks. Her pussy lips were swollen from your rough fucking but that wasn't your target, instead your tongue was probing her asshole, much to Wonyoung's surprise. 

"W-what are you doing," she asked, the intrusion bringing her some of her senses back. Still, she made no move to stop you.  

Her inaction only emboldened her as your tongue worked her backdoor. In all the months the two of you had spent together. In all the spontaneous sessions that broke out between you whether it was loving or after a fight, this was the one hole that Wonyoung had never let you claim. In fact, she had been adamant about it every time you even mentioned it. But you had a plan for that now. When you were satisfied you withdrew your tongue and moved to test her hole with your index finger. 

"Really, what are you up to back there?" Wonyoung said, letting out a shaky breath. 

"Ssh, just relax," you instructed her. 

"You – fuck – you know that's off-limits," she returned. 

Now was your trump card.  

"Sunmi let me fuck her ass." 

A poignant pause hung in the air. It was as if Wonyoung was considering what you had just said. Though, given her actions thus far, you had a feeling you already knew her mind was made up. Wonyoung wasn't nearly as cut-throat as some made her out to be but she wasn't someone who took kindly to coming in second place. Least of all when it came to you. 

"Make sure you don't go to hard" she finally said. "And you better soak your cock, I'm not some stretched out hag." 

"Unnecessary," you chided her. Still, she was right on one point. You returned your tongue to her asshole, preparing it the best you could before moving back to your feet. Your cock slipped inside of Wonyoung again, giving her a few rough thrusts before pulling out and applying some more natural lubrication of your own as you spit on your cock. Finally you were ready. Well, as ready as you could be. Mostly your cock was just aching at the thought of finally being inside Wonyoung's ass.  

You positioned your tip at her entrance, gently beginning to push the head forward. "Remember to relax," you said, a hand on her lower back. 

"Oh, fuck," Wonyoung swore, her cheek pressed against the wall. "You're too fucking big." 

  "I thought you liked that," you taunted her. 

"Shut up," she groaned.  

You couldn't help but chuckle. There was the Wonyoung you knew. Not the princess she pretended to be in front of the camera. You continued pushing ahead, slow and steady as the head of your cock finally penetrated her.  

"Holy shit..." You muttered under her breath. 

"Fuck. Just....wait there a second," Wonyoung muttered, one long arm reaching back to press against your hip as she got accustom to the new stretch. 

You were more than happy to abide. Even just having past the head of your cock in her ass had you reeling. You knew that some of your reaction would be based on the novelty of it. On the fact that you were fucking Jang Wonyoung's ass for the first time. That you were the only person to ever do so. But the truth was it also felt far better than you could have imagined. It wasn't your first time. You hadn't lied when you said that Sunmi had taken you first. And, to be fair, you had loved it then too. But it had been different. You had merely experienced it as Sunmi rode you, in control the entire time. On top of that,t here wasn't the same history. As much as you hated to admit it, it didn't compare to this. 

"Okay," Wonyoung said, breaking you from your thoughts, "You can move." 

That was all you needed to hear. You pushed forward, inch by inch watching as her hole stretched around your cock until you made it about halfway down the length of your shaft.  

"This will have to do," you grunted. 

You began to move your hips, slowly at first as you rocked against her before adding more vigor. Steadily with drawing your cock before filling her backdoor again and again. Soft pants left Wonyoung as her nails dug into your flesh, her hand holding onto your thigh. 

"How does it feel," you asked her. 

"Like I'm being split in half," she groaned. 

"And?" 

Wonyoung was silent for a moment before a breathless, "...so good." 

"Yeah?" Your cock twitched inside of her. 

She nodded, her eyes closed, "Fuck yes. Fuck, your cock feels so good inside my tight little asshole." 

"That's right," you said, picking up the pace. "And no one will make you feel like this." 

"It's all yours," Wonyoung moaned. "Always yours, Daddy." 

Somewhere along the way you had transitioned to the one who was laying a possessive claim as opposed to Wonyoung. Whatever, you tossed it up to the heat of the moment. This changed nothing but it did motivate you to see this through to the end. After that it'd be like this never happened but until then her ass was yours. 

Your grip on her hips tightened as your pace increased, pounding her  backdoor. Wonyoung's hand dipped between her thighs, rubbing her clit as she chased her second orgasm.  

"Fuck!" She chanted, becoming more vocal as her climax drew near. 

"I'm going to come," you grunted. "I'm going to fill you up." 

Wonyoung didn't have the capacity to reply, instead her mouth fell open in a silent cry as her second orgasm washed over her. Not one to be a liar you finally managed to fit your entire length into her ass, just in time for your own release to hit you. Your cock swelled before spilling an obscene amount of cum into her bowel. As you pulled your cock out you watched your cum ooze out of her puckered hole.  

"Jesus christ..." You muttered, chest heaving.  The sight alone was damn near enough to make you want a round two. 

For once Wonyoung didn't have a smart comeback, instead slowly sinking to the ground in a heap, her cheek still pressed against the wall as she tried to catch her breath. Idly you couldn't help but wonder if this was how she imagined this encounter was going to go when she first confronted you. Maybe you'd get to ask her once some of her senses returned. For now you just wanted to bask in the pleasure of what had just happened without thinking too hard. 

TWO WEEKS LATER. 

"Un-fucking-believable." 

You stared at your phone, watching as the latest tiktok reel came across your screen. You watched as your girlfriend, Sunmi, and your ex-girlfriend, Wonyoung, completed a dance challenge together. Of course, Sunmi had no idea about your past relationships. Wonyoung on the other hand was well aware. 

And yet here she was, doing a dance challenge with the same woman whose boyfriend had been fucking her ass not two weeks earlier. 

You could only shake your head in disbelief and some mild concern. "What the hell are you plotting, Wony." 

[chaoticace2005]

Why Valentino needs to chill the fuck out (AKA a list of complaints on the pissbaby):

(By Velvette, the only one here with a braincell)

(Her list for Vox (to stop obsessing over Alastor) here)

1. I can’t stop you from being a dick to your employees but STOP RIPPING UP MINE

2. Can you keep your obsession with Angel Dust in the studio? Bringing him up elsewhere makes Vox think he can bitch about Alastor and I don’t need anymore of that.

3. Bringing up the Radio Demon to win an argument just makes everyone suffer.

4. I know therapy is a lost cause with you but seriously?

5. Figure out whatever the fuck you and Vox have going on. You’re not dating but you have Radio Demon- related foreplay and Vox gets jealous whenever you bring up “Angelcakes.”

6. I’ll blow my brains out if I hear the name “Angelcakes” again.

7. I don’t want to keep replacing lights after you run into them head first

8. I don’t want to keep having to spend money buying mothballs so you won’t eat my clothes.

9. When you get pissed you get horny, and I’d prefer if you didn’t fuck anyone on the kitchen counter.

10. Or my closet

11. Can you stop crying about the fact I have (gorgeous) hair and you don’t? Not my fault your head looks like an egg

12. Also weird pheromones? Can you keep that stuff inside you until we need to make more Love Potions? The whole place stinks

13. Your rage bedazzling has begun to get out of hand. I took a shower and rhinestones came out of the tap.

14. STOP FIRING BEDAZZLED (OR ANY) GUN INTO WALLS. AND STOP SAYING ITS FINE BECAUSE YOU LIKE HOLES.

15. Chasing down your employee who is staying with the PRINCESS AND KING of HELL isn’t the best idea.

16. Also, again, Radio Demon. And he may be an ancient prick but Vox is so insufferable.

17. Seriously if anyone gets to kill you it’s me. And since I can’t nobody can.

18. We keep having to replace phones because of your tantrums.

19. And employees

20. And TV screens for Vox

21. When you get angry you put things in the top shelves which is really a dick move.

22. At this point I’m starting to worry if you’ll take the name “pissbaby” seriously given your recent fixation and I do NOT want to deal with that.

23. I know tormenting employees can be fun, but also Angel Dust gets us a lot of money. And if he finds a way to opt out then I’m making sure the financial loss comes out of YOUR funds.

24. I don’t want to go to any more shitty overlord meetings alone because Vox is busy having a mental breakdown and you’re busy looking up new forms of torture.

25. Unlike that Carmine hag I am NOT a wrinkly old mom so STOP making me act like it.

25. Apparently you can only be so “problematic” in Hell and you’ve definitely passed that point

26. Seriously? Do you know how often #CancelTheVees is trending? #CancelValentino is FINE but then you go dragging me into this shit…

27. I’m tired of being the responsible one. Why don’t you two old fucks get your shit together?

[dwellordream]

really funny to me when you're reading Fire & Blood, and it's mentioned that Daemon's clearly grooming behavior towards Rhaenyra was angering people at court and making them uncomfortable, including Alicent, and people somehow twist this around to be, "well Alicent was just bitter about their pure Valyrian love! jealous old hag!".

like I am not denying that Alicent and Rhaenyra's relationship very quickly degraded in Fire & Blood, and Alicent was not kind or fair towards her as a child, but like.... come on, lol. she can dislike Rhaenyra and also be like 'yeah this is fucked up, step away from the literal 14 year old, Daemon'.

[spirit-lanterns]

Now that i lnow you accept omegaverse stuff, i can finally asks this. How about Alpha Yukong, who "punishes" Omega Reader, after they get back from a party.

(By punish i mean breed reader over and over her again, marking up Readers body with marks and hickeys)

-🤖 anon

The old hag is so jealous. She can smell the scents of many alphas, betas, and even omegas on you, that Yukong has no choice but to cover up all those disgusting scents with her own…

You don’t smell like hers anymore and that was a mistake. Shes growling, rubbing herself against your body and grinding her stiffie against your crotch so that her scent is all you remember tonight. She wants you to remember who your real mate is and if it’s stuffing you silly with her knot to get you to remember, then so be it.

This alpha (though old) is quite possessive over you in comparison to younger alphas of this generation. Older alphas have a more “possessive” worldview of their mates, so if they smell other people on you (not just alphas) older alphas have the tendency to get mad real quick. Bending their mates over and fucking them raw over and over again until the room smells like hot pheromones and your body is lying limply in Yukong’s arms.

She may be old, but she hasn’t lost her sense of possessiveness…

[ctrl-alt-em]

Communication is Key

AO3

Robin

I am Morven Hellwain. You have carried my spirit in your body for the last two months. As I am sure you have not figured out, when you lose consciousness, I gain control of our shared vessel. I need you to sleep as frequently as possible. Additionally, avoid bodily harm. I do not appreciate having to cast Cure Wounds when I wake.

Dear Morven Hellwain

Are you the reason for all the strange happenings? Did you explode the wolves? Lug says you killed that monster in the bunk house.

I go to sleep every night. I guess it is every other night? I don’t think I can sleep more than that and still help.

Thank you for healing my leg. Happen says he did not aim for me. His sprites played a mean prank.

From Robin Oatcake

Robin

I cannot fathom how you think you, the village idiot, can be of any help. The only way you can help is by ensuring I am in control as much of the time as possible.

As for your initial questions, yes, I am. I cannot imagine anything of note occurring in your proximity without my influence. I am not directly responsible for the wolves’ destruction; the recent unpredictable outcomes of spells is to blame. You need not concern yourself with magic.

Dear Morven Hellwain

I was not the village idiot. That was Young Man Dan. I was the spit-turner before I lost my job seven weeks ago.

I can be a great help! I helped save Lug from those men. I even injured one! And I was the one that got help when that man turned into a monster. Happen said I did a good job. I even helped us meet our friends and join our adventuring party. You are just upset that I can help just as much as you. I understand that. I was jealous of Tilly the spitturn dog too at first.

From Robin Oatcake

Robin

From the other's accounts of the confrontation with the mob, it does not sound like you played a needed role. It is no show of strength or skill to hit a blinded, maimed man with stale bread. As for the combat at Folkmoot, others surely would have heard and come to our aid, supposing I did not defeat the abomination before their arrival. You did nothing a dog would not be capable of. A dog likely would have been of greater help and less of liability.

Robin

You will get us both killed if you disregard my advice. Your 'help' is not needed nor wanted, I assure you.

To Morven Hellwain

I was thinking about back home, all the weird things people kept telling me. Leslie, the head cook, was cross with me. She said I missed work twice and that I insulted her in the market. I had no idea what she was talking about. I assumed she mistook me for someone else and I tried to tell her so. She said I was lying and fired me! It occurred to me that she might not have been lying. Was it you she saw? Are you the reason I lost my job?

From Robin Oatcake

Robin

Of all the things you could waste my time with, you chose this? Your 'job' is hardly worth the ink we are wasting writing about it. I will acknowledge that I was in control of our body several times before our departure. I did lose my patience with several of the dimwitted residents of the village so I very well may have offended the head 'cook'. I would not consider the loss of any great consequence. If anything, it is beneficial. Your 'occupation' would have delayed your departure for Folkmoot. You may thank me for my help in your next note. Hopefully, the writing will tire you.

To Morven

And what about my house? Did you tell the apothecary she could give it to her goat? If you wanted to run me out of my village so bad, you could have written to me earlier.

From Robin

Robin

If I recall correctly, and I do, the old hag asked me, "How I am supposed to keep a roof over my goat's head if you don't pay?" To that, I said, "Give the fucking goat my roof. I don't care." And I continue to not care. Your hovel was little more than a goat's shelter anyway.

I have spoken with Happen and he is aware of a root that induces a harmless sleep state. I have procured some. It is in the outer pouch of our bag.

To Morven

It is not our bag. It is my bag. And I don't need anything to help me sleep. A long day of traveling with my friends does that enough. Seeing as I have no work or home to return to, I will be with them for the foreseeable future regardless of our mission.

If you want to be helpful, Morven, you will tell me how to use magic myself and how I get you out of me.

From Robin

Robin

You cannot use magic. It would require innate talent or years of study, neither of which you have. Unless such fantasies lull you into a slumber, do not concern yourself with such endeavors.

I am looking into potential methods to separate us. However, until magic has been returned to its original state and I gather more information on what caused my spirit to enter your body in the first place, no significant progress can be made. You need not be involved.

To Morven

How can I not get involved when I already am? You’re in my head! You walk around in my body half the time! I should be the only one in my body!

And how do you know I don’t have inate innate talent? Maybe I just haven’t had need to use it.

From Robin

Robin

Knock yourself out as soon as you see this. Lug, Cressida, and Willowfine have been captured by a group of zealots and I need to go save their skins.

To Morven

No need to worry. Me and Happen did it ourselves. You should have seen how far Lug hit this one guy with his hammer once we got him out.

From Robin

Robin

That is not what I told you to do. You will get us both killed.

Willowfine said she saw you use magic. I can only assume you located a scroll and stumbled your way into using it correctly.

To Morven

You were wrong, Morven. I do have a talent for magic, no scroll needed, whatever those are. Mine is not as pretty or orderly as yours but I can cast spells. Cressida thinks that might be why you didn’t have trouble casting in my body.

You may thank me for my help in your next note. I will not ask you to knock yourself out because I have manners.

From Robin

Robin

I have spoken with Cressida and Willowfine regarding your spelling casting. As must I detest to acknowledge it, I suppose it makes sense. Either my spirit brought my magic potential with it or my spirit was attracted to your magic potential. I do believe the first one is the more likely of the two. It still stands that between the two of us, I am the more proficient and thus should handle any and all confrontations.

To Morven

Willowfine says we should try to come to a compromise. She said our attempts to screw with each other and limit the other’s time awake is annoying.

How about a deal? If I find myself in situations that I cannot handle, I will find a way to allow you to take control if you agree to cease trying to stay awake for days on end. If the group stops to sleep, you sleep and let me take control.

From Robin

Robin

After much strong arming from the others, I agree to your terms.

Robin

Why am I not surprised you have Wild Magic? Of all sorcerous origins, you draw power from the most unruly and unpredictable.

With that said, I request that you cast something that will offer you improved defense or evasion when in a confrontation. You cannot rely on Acid Splash only.

- Morven

[thewingedwolf]

once again i am reminded why i prefer bb tumblr even if it’s less active and it’s bc people scream for “old school bb” like bb10 where michelle called libra a skank who should get her kids taken away from her but when leah is told by chelsie tucker likes her, attempts to flirt & hits a brick wall, then gets minorly petty with rubina over it (who was EQUALLY petty about leah) people are like “she’s a jealous hag you have to be a hater to like her” YEAH I AM A FUCKING HATER AND YOU ARE TOO SO WHATS HAPPENING HERE EXACTLY

[josephquinnswhore]

Fuckin’ Brat

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader.

Summary: you’ve had a bad day and taking it out on Joel leads to primitive measures to fix your attitude.

Word count: 0.6k

Warnings: swear words, reader having a mental breakdown I guess, Joel using pet names like angel, brat.

alternative thoughts to the other little blurb I posted about this pic. Bonus pic for better effect.

You were so fucking tired, so worn and aching and sweaty and irritated. The combination usually wouldn’t have been that much of an issue on a normal day; you were great at handling your emotions and worked through them like a champ.

Today things had fallen apart; a handful of otherwise tiny manageable things that all add up in what becomes a cluttered mess that accumulates like a fire hazard. The more things that go wrong; the more flammable you become.

And fuck you were about to blow up.

First it was Janice, the old hag from down the street, complaining about your dog, burnie, a well behaved border collie, he was a bit stupid sometimes; he liked to chase the birds that flew through her garden. That became a you issue. She was lucky he didn’t chase her.

Then, as you get to the hall to start volunteering for the lunch service, cooking for all the guys coming home from patrol; nothing had been started. No prep, no cooking. No cleaning. You roll up your sleeves and pick up the slack; because you’re a fucking people pleaser who can’t say no.

Lastly, you get home, just wanting to relax and read a chapter of your romance book. Only to find it had tea spilt all through it; the pages were now a damp shade of brown, soaked and completely ruined. Ellie had looked at it last night after showing some intrest, neglecting to put the precious book back onto its respective shelf.

Ellie said she’d clean up after herself, you understood she was just a teenager and she probably just forgot.

But you couldn’t help but just explode, it was the final fucking straw. The match that had lit the impending internal explosion.

In that exact moment your brain had decided to short circuit into a fit of rage, Joel walks through the door, walking snow all through the house as he sits on the lounge, groaning loudly.

“Couldn’t even take your fucking boots off at the door?” You scold angrily, gesturing to the mess he’d walked though the house.

Joel stopped untying his boots to look at you; he raises his eyebrow, giving you an unspoken warning.

Don’t speak to me like that again.

But you got the message, you just push further, knowing he would snap eventually.

“Thanks for letting the damn dog out this morning too, now Janice is on my fucking ass as always!” You grumble, starting to pace a little.

Joel stood off the lounge, bending at the knees a little so he’s more your height and he rested his palms on the top of his jeans on his thighs. His head was tilted as he watched you ramble, waiting for you to realise you’d fucked up.

“She’s that obsessed with you, she’s got to take her shit out on me, maybe you should just go over there and stuff her full of your co-“

Your rambling is cut short by a large hand roughly gripping your chin, your eyes widen at the sudden action and he jerks your face towards his, you stumble forward two steps. He doesn’t take his eyes off you.

“Fuckin’ finish that sentence, angel.” He growls lowly, warning you against it. He waits, looking at you expectantly.

You freeze, blinking dumbly at him. He hums.

“You really want me to go over there and stuff Janice full of my cock, huh? Show her what she’s missing, why she’s rightfully jealous of you?” His tone was husky. His eyes hadn’t left your own.

Your eyes water at the thought, your shoulders droop as you shake your head no.

“‘S what I thought. Listen to me real careful now, angel.” His voice is softer, but still demands that you comply with his orders.

He softens his grip on your chin, but still maintaining that eye contact.

“You’re gonna come sit on my lap, tell me what happened today, and you’re gonna stop being such a fuckin’ brat. Understand?”

You nod frantically, tears welling in your eyes, Joel knew you needed him to put you in place, to break you down so you’d stop pushing all your problems down to bury them. So you’d finally open up and embellish in the support you needed. He would listen, and help however he could.

“Repeat it, baby.” He orders firmly.

“I’m gonna sit on your lap and tell you why I’m upset..” You trail off for a moment. “And stop bein’ a brat.” You mumble.

Joel let’s go of your chin, sitting back down on the lounge where he pats his lap. You sit on your throne and cry to him; about everything that had happened.

He spends hours with you; in his arms, letting you cry and rant about all the stress you’d harboured. You were thankful for the stern and loving man that was Joel Miller.

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

How do you think Christian Cage would react to someone dissing his wife y/n in a promo?

Lover

What happens when the rivalry between Christian Cage and Adam Copeland goes too far and causes Adam to say some controversial unscripted things about Y/n and the Patriarchy

word count: 1K+

Main Masterlist Christian Cage Masterlist

I currently sat in my private locker room with Killswitch, Nick Wayne, my wife Y/n and our baby girl Madaline. The five of us sat in a comfortable silence as we watched Collison on the tv in the locker room. Looking around the room I felt a fuzzy feeling in my chest, I was surrounded by my beautiful dysfunctional family. The people I loved most. I was distracted from my thoughts when I heard Y/n and Nick start to boo at the screen. I looked to find my former best friend turned arch rival Adam Copeland on the screen. Copeland had been on my ass for months, ever since he arrived in AEW he wouldn't leave me or my family alone. I was on my last straw with him, what else could he want from me. I already beat him TWICE, for god sakes he put my son through a flaming table! He has no right to be demanding another title shot, he is undeserving. 

I watched as Adam walked to the ring microphone in hand, what the hell did he want now. 

“I am sick and tired of Christian Cage and the Patrarchy, all they do is cheat. If it wasn’t for Y/n and her tricks I would be standing here as your TNT Champion. Speaking of Y/n I don’t think you know this but in real life her and Christian Cage are married. Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. I guess Christian Cage really does have a thing for fatherless wrestlers, bonus points if they are way younger than he is.” 

I could feel my blood boiling as I heard the words fall from Adams mouth. I looked to Y/n and she was in shock like the rest of us. “I mean she is 20 years younger than him! But hey who am I to judge, if I was Christian Cage I would do the same thing. I mean have you seen her, damn. Christian you better watch out because once I take your title I’m going to take your controversally young wife. Which by the way you only married because you knocked her up, nice job having a newborn at 50” 

At this point I was livid, I wanted to kill Adam Copeland, how dare he talk about my family like that. For someone who gets so mad when someone brings up his family it’s ironic how he has no problem talking about other peoples relationships. 

“While I’m at it did you know the the age gap between Nick Wayne and Y/n is significantly lower than her’s with Christian, Gross. Y/n if a filty who-” Just then his mike was cut

That was the final straw, I stormed out of my private locker room and ran to the stage. I was going to make him pay. I knew this was probably a trap but I didn’t care, my adrenaline was pumping. I jumped on top of Adam and beat the bloody hell out of him for real. He tried to cover himself from my blows but they did nothing. I was able to get a good amount of shots in before security pulled me off of him. “I’m going to fucking kill you! What the fuck is your problem huh!” I yelled to Adam as security held us apart. The audience was shocked, they could tell that this wasn’t a work, for god sakes they cut off his mike before he did any more damage. My adrenaline was still pumping and I knew I coudn’t let Adam have the last word, especially after he disrespected my wife. I managed to steal a microphone that thankfully worked. 

“What the hell is your problem. You disgust me, how dare you speak of my wife and family like that. I think you are jealous of me. You have a boring marriage that has no love, you are married to an old hag who can’t even sleep in the same bed as you. Can’t you accept that I am just better than you, I have a better life, a better wife, I am the TNT champion god dammit. Just acceppt it and move on, and speaking of cheating just go home and beg your wife to forgive you for cheating on her AGAIN. Now I’ll admit that I am an asshole but I would never so something like that to the woman I love. Oh and I dare you to talk about Y/n again, next time I will make sure to kill you” 

With that I left, security escorted me backstage and out of the building. I didn’t even care of the consequences I could possibly face, I was proud of defending my family. On my way out I saw all the wrestlers backstage comforting Y/n who was understandably very upset. It warmed my heart to see.

***

A day has passed since the incident with Adam Copeland and myself on Collision. Like I assumed everyone was talking about it. Considering in this rivalry I am the bad guy Y/n and myself had received nothing but support during the whole situation. People were turning on Adam for his actions, being disgusted with what he said. AEW made the decision to give Copeland a four week suspension along with making him put out an public apology. The following is a total BS apology from Adam Copeland;  

*I would like to sincerely apologise to Y/n, Christian Cage, AEW and the fans for my actions on Saturday. What I said was truly uncalled for. I apologise to everyone who was offended with my words. I take full responsibility for my actions and will continue to work on being a better person. - Rater R Superstar Adam Copeland* 

What a total jerk. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that” I told Y/n as the two of us lied in bed, mutaly deciding we would spend the day rotting in bed after what happened not even 24hrs ago. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know he was going to say that” She told me reassuringly “I know but what he said was fucked up. I love you so much, like so so much. I would do anything for you Y/n” I told her as I began to place delicate kisses on her neck. “What are you doing?” Y/n said playfully 

“Showing you how much I love you” 

[enkephallic]

LCB Sinner Analysis: The Original Sins

I think the original LCB sinners' sin affinities for their skills are definitely related to them as people. My current theory is that S1 represents a surface level read of their personality, and their S3 is the true sin embedded deeper into themselves.

Gregor: His S1 is gloom, which is how he initially appears to be. He's carrying a lot and it seeps put. But his S3 is sloth. In Limbus Company, sloth seems to be tied in with giving up on taking action and making things better.

Rodya: S1 gluttony, which makes sense considering her want for money and good food. Her S3 is wrath, which was what drove her to axe the old hag who had been exploiting people.

Sinclair: S1 is pride, I guess this is how he comes off rich and privileged to some others. S3 is jealousy which confuses me a little, but I think it's related to the behaviour he exhibited in class that ultimately led to the tragedy.

Yi Sang: S1 is gloom - he's quiet and reserved, but is hinted not to have been. S3 is sloth, which definitely is the sin that fits him the most pre-limbus. He admits himself he simply observed without taking control.

Ishmael: S1 is wrath. She seems annoyed at perceived stupidity and often shows exasperation. S3 is gloom. She's scared of losing people and is hurting, which makes her extremely unstable and difficult for Dante to work with.

Heathcliff: S1 is jealousy. He's jealous on the surface level and is written to have an inferiority complex on his file, but his S3 is lust. He wants to relentlessly pursue something/transform himself, which will most likely hurt him along the way. also maybe hes horny

Don Quixote: S1 is lust. She has lots of things she wants to become and accomplish. S3 is gluttony, which I'm assuming was her wanting too many things that potentially conflicted (maybe her idea of justice involved two things clashing - eg. is it justice to steal when you're desperate? is it justice to stop the thief?).

Hong Lu: S1 is pride, much like Sinclair. His innocent curiosity comes off as arrogant to others. His S3 is lust - I speculate that he really wanted to become something, or change his own self in some way.

Ryoshu: S1 is gluttony. This does confuse me a little, but I'm guessing it's her obvious desire to create/observe Art and beauty. S3 is pride. She perhaps overestimated herself and fucked over someone she cared for

Meursalt: S1 is sloth. Yeah. Sinclair having a panic attack? Well he wasn't told to report on it so. S3 is ... gloom? Oh he must be carrying a lot. I have not read his novel yet so I won't make rash assumptions, but I guess it's something to do with grief.

Outis: S1 is sloth. I'm guessing this is her paper thin veneer of sucking up to Dante and treating his word as absolute, though it's clear it's not sincere. More suprisingly her S3 is gloom. I think this makes a lot more sense after reading her Schutz ID story - she has someone she loves, even at her absolute lowest.

Faust: S1 is pride. Yea. Yeah. yeah. yea. S3 is also gluttony. It's difficult to know much about her, but I'm guessing she really wanted to accomplish something, which would involve a lot of resources and potentially cause a lot of danger due to it.

[princess-of-thebes-1995]

Baby Trap Chapter 5

Yandere! Recom Miles Quaritch x Female Human Reader

You huffed in annoyance as you walked down the cold frigid halls of the head base of Bridgehead City.

 You averted your eyes from the other staff walking around. You knew you were rather popular.

 The wife of the Colonel, the first woman who gave birth to half breed Navis. Half Humans who looked like full Navi children with no traces of physical human traits. 

(The Sully kids had a quarter of human blood and human traits in their physical forms. Since Jake mated with Neytiri when he was in his Avatar Na'vi body.)

But, most of all, the worst reason. The most beautiful lady ever existed sucked a Na'vi's penis in front of multiple men. 

You gently knocked on the door of General Ardmore and you heard a mumbled affirmation to step in. You breathed in. Let's get this over with. 

Back in Hell's Gate Base, you remembered with painful memories of going to the Human Quaritch's office. The first time was to "ask" him to convince Selfridge to not cancel the Avatar Research Program. 

Then after that, having sex in his office whenever he called for you. As if you were on speed dial. And you bitterly remembered when someone almost walked in on you two years ago. 

The damn General was typing on her hologram computer. She looked to see you and she sneered before beckoning to sit you on the seat in front of you. 

You sat and she stared at you for a while before opening that vile mouth of hers. By her cold blue eyes. She obviously hated you. She reminded you a lot of Maria Walker. 

Luckily, Walker died again by Neytiri. From what you heard. You hid your glee from the Colonel. You didn't want to see her ugly face ever again. As a human at the old base, she would mock and jeer whenever the Colonel was not looking. 

Not to mention, you hated Walker even more despite being dead for almost a year. Why? Jealousy. 

Remember how your husband said he wished he was married to Walker, Zdinarsik or this bitch Ardmore because of your 'wrong' views?

Ditto. Your life would have been easy if you were married to a scientist who respected Navis. Hell, maybe even Lyle. Lyle might change sides for you. Like how Jake did for Neytiri. 

The unattractive masculine deep voice distracted you from your thoughts. "It's a shame we never spoke before. Despite you living here for almost a year." The General's smile was mocking you. 

You smiled. "I have been so busy lately."

General Ardmore nodded. "Yes, raising four kids (remember Spider is with Jake now.) and a husband must be time consuming…." Her cold blue eyes stared at your flat stomach. "And another on the way."

You gasped. How did she know? Besides, just hearing an extra heart beat is not enough to be sure you were pregnant. 

"I am not."

The General scoffed. She leaned in on her desk. "I am not stupid. The cameras showed me the pregnancy tests you bought and threw away in the trash."

Shit. 

"Did you tell your husband yet?"

You shook your head no. She raised a brow. "I also heard some yelling the other night. Lovers' quarrels?" She chuckled. 

If you weren't weaker than her, you would have slapped her ugly face. She found your annoyed expression amusing. Sadistic bitch. 

"And the Colonel's new squad. You gave them quite a show at the gym. I heard some men were jealous and wished they saw it too."

You felt your face turn red. This hag was pushing your limits. You stood up in defiance and she glared. You left and ignored her orders to stay. 

That's it. You had it! Fuck this diplomacy shit. You will run away. Or die trying. You don't care if you get caught again and get fucked in public by your husband. 

No. To hell with him. You will divorce him. Just because he is handsome and charming is not enough. You may love his qualities but you refuse to ruin your kids' life. Especially your daughter. If she stays here, she might be forced to be in a relationship with other men like you were due to her beauty when she grows up.

As usual, caught people staring at you with desire. Luck for you, they knew you belonged to the damn Colonel, they left you alone. 

Sadly, Isabella Maria was sadly noticed by the staff, soldiers, contractors and others. You had a feeling, if you or your husband weren't careful. Someone might commit pedophilia.

There was a space shuttle coming to Pandora again to pick up the Pro Navi helpers. Like you. They were sponsored by the United Nations. They would come a few times a year.

You have to find Miles/ Spider and send him a long with other two human kids back to Earth. You felt like a shitty mother. It was mistake coming to Pandora for vacation. This was the least you can do for them. 

[fic-heaven]

Pretty lies. (John Price x reader)

Nsfw / heavy angst/ cheating/ questioning one's sexuality/ friends to lovers/ alcohol/ mentions of abuse.

-Imagine having so much chemistry with one person... But he has a girlfriend and you are a lesbian woman. Life has given you plenty of chances to take one more step in your friendship with John Price and you two seemed to enjoy toying between the line of friendship and what seemed to be unreachable. Will you succumb yourselves to the desire you clearly harbour for each other breaking the limitations of your sexuality and his relationship with none other than one of your friends? Let's find out uwu

🐥 Finally: Price 🎉

.

The day your friend's friend Martha told you to unwind after breaking up with your girl, you reluctantly decided to follow her advice.

Martha Swanson was this loud, nosey girl that one of your friends presented as a new addition to your large group and hit it off with all the boys suspiciously fast. Easing up to her was hard, as much as your friends used to brag about you being the chillest, most patient and easy going out the whole pack of you, Martha tested your reputation and this breakup with your girlfriend was making you more irritable with any witty line she shot your way, so instead of hanging out with your group you decided to avoid them all for a while needing some time for yourself. But as soon as Martha caught wind of this, she wouldn't leave you alone sending you multiple dating apps and offering you to hook up with her girl friends as if being single was worse than a death sentence and her kind soul wanted to spare you from it. Ridiculous.

Fast-forward to this morning, Martha had sent you this long-ass text you actually appreciated. And it was this particular motivational text that made you leave your bed, take a quick shower, dress like a porn star and leave your cave of an apartment after kissing your ex's cat goodbye. (who she left for you to care since she didn't want him anymore.) the old orange cat growled in discomfort and it only urged you to kiss his fluffy forehead further leaving a red lipstick stain.

The loud music inside every local you passed by made you flex your fingers around the strap of your handbag in anticipation. A little while later, your eyes landed on a small pub in between two larger ones with neon lights adorning it's name "Puss n' boots." Your heels carried you inside mindlessly.

"Yeah, there's gotta be lesbians in 'ere." You instantly thought. So why not listen to bitchy Martha for once and see if we can fish some pussy? You were tired of crying yourself to sleep because of your cold-hearted ex... It's time to move on.

At least that was the main idea, there were lots of beauties in this pub and you already caught some eyes, sadly they were all men's or some jealous hag's. By your lack of taste and terrible luck with men you weren't going to indulge none of them and the old hags weren't your thing either. You waited for half an hour to see if you had any luck catching any girl's attention, sadly the more glasses you drank the clearer it was that tonight wasn't going to be your night and you didn't have the energy to leave as the pretty ladies that matched your taste were either entertaining some men or invested in whatever conversation they were having with their groups. Maybe you should have stayed home or searched for actual gay bars... You're sure you look fucking pathetic drinking sad and lonely, and more painted than a bloody door.

Fuck, you wouldn't have been doing this if Lisa (you ex) stayed faithful instead of fucking that new secretary of hers and being dumb enough to show off her affair to your mutual friends.

Were you really that easy to replace? Great. Now you are feeling unattractive in your most attractive outfit just thinking about all this mess.

With a huff you crossed your legs on the stool, practically giving up with a sigh, one hand massaged your temple and the other lift to order one more glass of whiskey. To your dismay, it was a raspy, tabaco-burned voice who ordered it for you.

"Leave the bottle. Missy's got a rough night."

You blinked your tears away before turning around and seeing this good-for-nothing bald guy with a few missing teeth and a sinister aura. You couldn't help but chuckle and your chuckle soon turned into a loud crackle until you were covering your mouth and letting out a few tears feeling nothing but amusement and frustration that you went from having this beautiful goddess of a girlfriend to attracting a bald, smelly man clearly wanting to fuck you and probably rob you afterwards, you no longer gave a fuck that you looked absolutely nuts laughing on his face for no apparent reason. But fuck. How fast can your life turn around and leave you drunk on your sexiest outfit, single because you got cheated on, and the only person who wanted to fuck you was this stupid man with nothing but bad intentions and a terrible case of halitosis?

"What's got you laughing, bitch?" He spat taking a step back and sparing you from having to smell him further.

"For a man so full of yourself who claims to see through me so easily... You are quite jumpy."

The bartender came back with the bottle carrying an uneasy look, you swiftly took the bill the drunken trashcan of a man had readied, paid for the bottle and shot a wink to the nervous barman. "Keep the change, luv."

"You bitch-" Just as you moved from the stool the bald guy launched your way and the barman rushed to aid you, but another man jumped in ready to save you from the hairy arms of the goblin. This guy seemed cleaner and more sober, with much more hair on his head and a stunning beard with the most beautiful cristal blue eyes you have ever seen. They did remind you of your ex girlfriend's and suddenly the scare of the guy jumping to you lessened as the painful memory of your break-up clouded your turbulent mind once again.

Mr. Stunning Beard tackled the cursing baldie with his strong arms, you didn't waste a second delivering him a harsh punch to the mouth that surely broke some of the few teeth he had left. Your reflexes were still intact as you snatched the whiskey bottle from the counter before the now bleeding asshole could break it with the useless kicks he was giving to every piece of furniture he reached.

"Aye, Price! Kick the bastard out, he gave us enough headaches for a lifetime..." Ordered the bartender, lanky legs carried him elsewhere to open the back door that led to an alley behind the pub.

"No need to ask, Hugh." Replied the pretty guy whose name was Price. "I'll be right back." He grunted your way trying to keep still the scum he had trapped, you shrugged indifferent.

The people from the pub didn't seem scandalized at all, they actually seemed relieved. Apparently from what you heard from the cute girls near the table you had picked, this guy was a homeless man who came to this pub every time he had enough cash to do exactly what you already knew he'd do to you. Pick a sad girl, fuck and rob her and return a few weeks later. This was one of the few pubs that still allowed him the entry, and I say was because as soon as you served yourself another glass from the bottle the guy practically gifted you, the barman walked to your booth, told you to pick whatever you wanted on the house and assured you that the bald asshole was banned for life. You politely smiled and thanked him with a sickenly sweet smile assuring him you were used to this and thanked him for everything.

Truth is, you weren't used to this at all. You were never a pub girl, your girl didn't like pubs so you never had the chance to indulge in... Drinks, sweat, loud crappy music and drunken guys trying to hit on you when you were just trying to hit on their girlfriends. So you were slightly shaken, but it was nothing alcohol couldn't fix.

Baffled, you laughed to yourself seeing how your manicured hand remained intact even after the harsh punch you delivered earlier, though your laughter died as soon as Price came back cleaning the invisible dust from his casual wear. His blue eyes scanned the whole place until they landed on your spot near one of the front windows. You gave him a lazy drunken smile and a small wave he returned with a smirk walking closer, he sat on the opposite booth and frankly you thanked him for it. You could use the stranger's company so long as it wasn't for something sexual. You were no longer in the mood.

"Nice save, Price guy." You purred when he sat down with a huff.

"Nice punch, eh..." He replied squinting.

"(Y/n). I don't know what you were aiming to do here but I'm not interested in-"

"No worries." He quickly said picking up on what you meant "Actually, I came here because I was wondering if you were kind enough to split the bottle." Price said pointing at the whiskey bottle with a meaty finger, that earned him your first sincere smile.

"Fuck It, why not? It'd be fair after you kicked sir Alitosis' ass in my name." You chirped calling the bartender to bring another glass.

In your opinion, there were three types of drunks: angry drunks, sad drunks and fun drunks. You didn't want to be a sad drunk and make a fool of yourself in front of your new buddy, so you decided to let go of your troubles and simply try to enjoy the rest of the night with new friendly company. Besides, this man seems... Oddly polite.

"I did everyone a favour. Bastard scared away enough girls t'night." Price grunted waving a hand lazily as if speaking about the weather.

"Did he mess up your hunt, big guy? Were you craving to take anyone home tonight?" You asked as a final clarification because honestly, when did a guy, who clearly didn't know you were into girls, sit with you when you were at your most miserable and sexiest without holding any weird intentions?

Price gave you this tight smile and a quick shake taking you by surprise "Nah I honestly just wanted a drink." He said it so tiredly, like he had a long week, maybe he had problems at home or simply hated his job and wanted to drown the discomfort with alcohol or perhaps he had the same issue as you. Romance trouble. He is handsome to be single.

With all the courage alcohol gave you, your mouth spoke before you could even process it.

"Girl trouble?"

"Mm. One of many troubles, I'm afraid."

It's as if you drunken minds had synchronized. Promptly, the desire to hit it off with any women here or spend a second alone reminiscing on a time when things felt "right" died in both your minds, suddenly finding peace and contentment on each other's presence deciding that maybe, this wasn't going to be another shitty night after all, as some friendship could be born from this unfortunate encounter with that scum.

As if nothing had happened, you two begun bantering about anything and everything until the pub closed, exchanged numbers and after four more outings together on that same pub, sleepless nights talking from the phone and random nightly adventures without alcohol in your systems in the quiet streets of London, you two became very good friends, best friends, you dare say.

So it didn't come as a surprise when in one particular outing, Price no longer allowed you to call him by his last name but you were so used to doing so you kept calling him that way and it became fun tease.

"It's John, sweetheart. How many times do I have t' remind ya?"

"I'm sorry it's just weird for me to call ya John when I've known you as Price for a whole month!" You wined, opening the Malboro cigarettes you just bought.

"I'll forgive you, but just this once." John chuckled lighting up your cigar and covering the amber with his palm so the chilly air of the night wouldn't extinguish the flame. You two were leaning very close but with all the trust you both shared in you friendship didn't make it feel awkward or heated. At the eyes of any passer-by, you two were very close friends who tiptoed between the line of friendship and romance, an "obvious" sexual tension radiated from you as Price's heavy arm surrounded your waist pressing your side against his sharing heat and casually glancing at each other's mouths when one of you breathed out the smoke of your cigs during playful, quiet conversations. But the truth was that you two were simply a high ranked officer sharing smoke with his lesbian buddy before you entered your favorite pub for the night. Nothing deeper, nothing intimate. Just two buddies spending quality time with each other.

An yet, he did feel the situation deeper than you. It was the quiet moments you two spent together what made Price sleep better at night. He never straight up told you how much he appreciated having a girl friend other than Laswell and whatever the hell his three-month girlfriend pretended to be at times. Your company always felt refreshing, even if you two had known each other for one single month it felt like you had brought him whatever that was missing on his life, company, a stable friendship without sex in between, self confidence and a break from his mind troubles. With you, John felt wanted, but not in the same way many women had made him feel in the past (including his girlfriend), more like you reciprocated the comfort of his company, deeply content with it even though you haven't seen him naked. As many encounters and other past friendships with women he had in the past, he dreaded the time you'd try to jump on him and he would have to explain to you that he has a girlfriend, but you didn't, and somehow it made John feel... Disappointed?

Os course, don't mistake such disappointment for

The captain found a friend in you he deeply cherished, someone he could have at his doorstep in one single phonecall If he needed a drink or a distraction, someone he could count on every time he wanted to feel a different type of thrill that didn't imply sex or war. More like robbing a bunch of gnomes from a random front yard at two in the fucking morning and running for your lives after getting caught doing it, or like that one time when you two joined a random Batchkorette party in the Puss n' Boots and competed on how many thongs you managed to steal before the night ended, he ended up losing the bet and had to invite you for takeout afterwards. Frankly he'd have done it either way thankful of how hard you made him laugh that night.

Price felt so young and energetic with you, the strict, bloodthirsty captain he thought he was fell dormant in your presence. It was something that thrilled but frightened him as his very own girlfriend, his team and many exes before her, never managed to make him feel such thing. He really felt like he had to thank you, since the night he met you, Price noted an improvement in how his relationship with Martha Swanson affected him. Every little thing she wanted to bicker about he endured better, every time she spent trying to dry his wallet or flirt with his men he simply stopped caring as he felt all the more eager to hang out with you and forget about his tedious job and awful girlfriend, at the same time, Martha noted his nonchalance and to his surprise, she begun slightly behaving better.

But going back to you two, how could he express his gratitude? Would words work? You never really shared very deep conversations other than one time when you were so drunk out your mind you told Price about your last break-up (without specifying the gender of your partner.) he comforted you however he could afterwards, but because he was also so drunk after the drinking competition you two had, the captain could do nothing but pat your back and gargle out soft-spoken comforts while throwing up in a dumpster near a bus stop when you two were retiring for the night. What a sight you two made. One puking his soul out while comforting the other with tears ruining your mascara.

This time though, it was Price who wanted to open up a bit as you both enjoyed ruining your lungs together before getting wasted and leaving to his friend's house, "Kyle Garrick". John has been planning the perfect outing for a while, and when Gaz mentioned the meteor shower this morning he knew this had to be his chance to take the next step, he only knew you for a month and you two have behaved yourselves well, but there was something at the back of his mind that irked him to nudge your waist with his and give you this mischievous look that made you arch a brow and return it thinking he had something devilish on his mind that you were instantly interested in joining.

"Wanna do somethin' different t'night?" He asked with a boyish eagerness written all over his face at the way you contorted your face.

"Come on, man... You have been bugging me for WEEKS with this plan! Don't ya want me to meet this friend of yours so bad?"

Price steals your cigar quickly before you can protest, places it in between his lips with his own and takes a looooong deep inhale that devours half of the two cigars quickly to your horror. You swiftly take off one heel and threaten to beat him with it as he laughs jogging and dodging your attacks with both cigs still on his mouth running behind a pole teasing you to try and catch him.

"Come on! this will be much more fun! I'll tell Kyle a lie, that your cat died or somethin' and that you chickened at the last minute..."

"Don't you dare fake Raspberry's death for your silly spontaneous plans, Big Price!" Your tongue rolls the sweet nickname you gifted him weeks ago making his chest fill with warmth. Your big Price.

He laughs and spits out both cigs nodding his head to the side as to guide you along taking long strides that forced you to hurry in order not to loose him in the mist of the night.

"Fine, alright... But if you wanna skip the plan tell Kyle now or he'll have your ass later." You sigh nudging his arm to which he chuckled lowly in agreement quickly fishing out his phone to send Gaz a poor, brief excuse to move the plan for the next week.

Price took you further from the park behind your block, bought you some snacks in the nearest gas station before crossing the bridge that led you closer to the city frontiers until you two reached a pitch black part in the middle of a gigantic clearing with a more natural terrain and a bunch of dead trees and bushes, it was hard to see when the only source of light were your phones' flashlights.

"Where the hell are you taking me? Price, I swear if you are up to something-"

He rolls his shoulders trying not to complain about you still calling him by his last name "Come on, who do you think I am? After all the trouble we've been through... Do you really think I'd mess with our friendship, doll?"

The soft, playful reassurance comforted you instantly, but you went puzzled at the light disappointment you felt when he mentioned not messing with you friendship. It was a very strange feeling, as Price's friendship has always felt the the most stable thing in your life even if you've only known each other for a month. So why would you be slightly upset that he was just as pleased with your friendship as you were? You couldn't want more out of him right? And if that was the case... What exactly would it mean to want more? What did "more" imply if you were gay?

Just when you were about to complain about your poor choice of shoe wear for this unexpected expedition to the unknown, a massive brick wall came to view and the moment Price got in one knee and offered you a lift you bursted out laughing nervously.

"What!? Listen, listen, listen, listen-"

"Shoot it, doll."

"One thing, okay? One thing is steal gnomes and thongs and cover my sexist neighbor's car with a thousand pink post-it... But we are not breaking into anyone's property, big P!"

"Exactly. Because this doesn't belong to anyone, it's abandoned. Now quit crying and jump, I promise I'll cover my eyes." He said covering his eyes with his palm referring to the very short dress you were wearing.

You obeyed with a sigh and accepted his lift as you climbed through the brick wall to then sit on the top edge. "For your information, I'm wearing shorts underneath this rags. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid~ I mean, what If someone lifts my dress all of a sudden? Or if I climb a ten foot wall"

The captain instantly thought "You'd give everyone a good view for sure..."

Price gave you an amused smirk at your dramatism when he joined you up the wall to directly launch himself downwards to the other side and help you down. "I'd beat the crap out of whoever had the balls to do that, but I'm sure I wouldn't have to. You are one tough cookie, (Y/n). Haven't met many ladies who can punch the way you do and climb walls wearing high heels." Your soft laughter and thanks hit his heart harder than what was right from a man in a relationship.

Before you two stood an abandoned plaza that seemed to have been used for past music festivals and other kinds of events. It was mostly a big secluded space with a huge stone platform and some furniture and junk laying here and there, multiple graffiti adorned the dull walls, structures and even some areas in the stoney floor, the sea of bright colors made a lot of contrast with the weak reds from the bricks and the greys from the stone and cement.

Price took you to the rocky platform where he lit up a bunch of candles he took from his pocket, a bottle of whiskey sat beautifully illuminated by their soft lights. He wordlessly rushed to place a long towel from his backpack on the floor and you tried your hardest not to cringe and run from how romantic this was looking. You were internally screaming at this whole situation. Please let it NOT be a confession. God this is why you can't have any straight male friends...

Price knew you well and could read your discomfort about how all of this looked. "I heard the meteor shower was t'night, don't get your hopes up, doll." He teased and you almost fainted in relief.

Of course he wasn't going to confess anything! He had a girlfriend for fuck's sake! Not like you knew he was taken... But did you really have to act so relieved? Was he really that unattractive to you?'

"Oh god-..." You sighed fisting the hem of your dress dramatically flopping to the ground confident that the towel would shield your clean hair and favorite dress from the dusty floor. "Oh fuck! That's right, the meteor shower!" That made you sit quickly assessing how Price had decorated your spot. "And you brought Whiskey?" You smirked.

"For the occasion-" He muttered checking the time on his phone. "Only a few minutes left, it's a good thing you know how to walk fast with heels or else we'd have missed it." John really hoped you didn't hear the bitterness of his tone.

You chuckled "Oh fuck you, big Price. You wouldn't stand a minute with these!" You said opening the bottle and giving it a good sip before offering it to John. (You two didn't care about sucking the same bottle)

"Challenge accepted. Remind me in the next outing we plan." His rough hand took the bottle. He fisted the towel below intending to shake off the shiver that ran across his spine when his fingers brushed yours as you handed him the whiskey, you didn't have much luck as you actually did shiver at the contact, which was stupid because... Well you hugged and innocently touched each other before, but it felt different this time... Somehow. A strange wave of uncertainty washed over both of you on your little spot. You blamed your thin clothes for your shiver and he grunted back telling you you should have brought a jacket instead of offering you his, to which you playfully shoved his shoulder and he relented taking another blanket from his bag and shielding both of you from the chilly air.

"Ah shut up! There it is!" You gasped pointing at the sky after giving another long sip to the bottle.

And there it was~

The beautiful night sky erupted in a thousand lights, now more clearer as you two laid down away from the luminosity of the city. Price was quick to blow off the candles to make it better for you to see the beautiful natural display of lights. But just as he lifted his head from the candles he saw the way your face lit in wonder, your marvelled eyes reflecting the meteor shower In such an enchanting way John remained on his sitting position watching the spectacle from the windows of your eyes. He thanked the stars above that you didn't notice him staring, his cheeks were already burning red and he'd be too embarrassed to pretend he wasn't looking. After a few seconds and a long-ass sip Price mirrored your position looking up at the sky with his arms behind his head to accommodate better in the hard surface of the stone floor.

"You are amazing." You breathed and John fluttered his lashes in surprise but remained silent looking up at the million tiny lights across the sky with a small smile he could not contain.

"It's... Cool that you planned all this. You should have told me we were gonna climb a fucking wall, I would have brought my sketchers. Fucking fool." You bit amused.

"Didn't know we'd cancel on Gaz and that you'd show up dressing like Emma Stone in Poor things. It was supposed t'be a surprise, twat." John bit back with the same amusement.

"Thank you, Knob head."

"Y' welcome. Muppet."

You both chuckled like two teenagers at the random curses you exchanged before you continued. "No, but really... Thanks. I've been kinda broody for a long time after my break-up with..." You sighed. Why the hell were you feeling so reluctant on telling Price the name of your ex girlfriend? Why were you so hesitant on telling him you were into women? "With that... Cheater."

John rolled his head a bit to face your profile, eyes fixed on yours. You weren't going to confess right? He wasn't sure why, but he felt unprepared to tell you he had a girlfriend. Specially now with how peaceful, romantic and unforgettable this night was getting.

"You are the best friend I've never had. And every day I feel grateful that I had left my apartment that night and chose that shitty rathole of Puss n' Boots to burn my burdens. Because you were there, big P." Your voice wavered a bit and you hated how utterly fragile you sounded. "You were there and you have remained here, by my side."

Price's ocean eyes were slightly glossy at the sight of you opening up before him. It warmed his heart that you were comfortable enough to speak this way around him not hiding your vulnerability.

"I trust you, John." The words scaped your lips and suddenly you went mute, your eyes roled to his side to meet his intense stare, Price felt mute as well as your throats constricted and your eyes welded tears that ran free soon when you both nervously laughed together.

"You called me John..." He hummed pleased before continuing. "That means the world to me. You know I trust you too, right doll? There's nothing bad, I mean nothing, that I'd ever wish upon you, love. I'm very happy I got to meet you as well..."

Your soft, sincere smile lit his world as you replied curling to his side. "That's why I trust you. And I know you will never break that trust, John."

Out of nowhere you felt a strange wave of anxiety overwhelming you, this was too deep, you couldn't... This wasn't right. You didn't know what triggered such anxiety. The delicious smell of Price's expensive cologne, his body heat, his warm eyes looking at you with so much affection or... The fact that he was a man. Shit.

John felt the need to open up as well, encouraged by the emotional moment. It was his main plan anyways "(Y/n), I..."

"Johnathan-...I'm a lesbian." You abruptly interrupted.

His face went blank, like a husk of the friend you knew, crescent eyes widening slightly. John's words died on his mouth when you revealed your sexuality with a fearful face and after the longest most agonizing pause, he muttered in denial under his breath.

"No, you are not."

______

It's been a week and a half, and his words played in your mind like a broken record. Just what the hell did he mean by that?

You went from mourning you cheating partner to mourning a friendship that lasted one single sad month. That, if your friendship was over which you were seriously considering ending if it wasn't. You never spoke about it with Price. Never had the courage to bring up the topic after that awkward night.

The memory became a constant in your mind, when you showered, when you worked, when you tried to sleep... Price had consumed your thoughts in an unhealthy way.

You could remember it like it was yesterday. How after he said that, you two sat up facing opposite directions with eyes lost. The spectacle above long forgotten. How the only thing you acknowledged from one another was the alcohol being nudged your way. One took a long chug from the bottle and passed it to the other until you finally finished it. Once done, you stood up on wobbly feet stubbornly refusing John's hand. He took the bottle and threw it across the brick wall, the distant crash of the fall (probably against a rock) marked the rupture of your bond.

You both left the place wordlessly when you undid the improvised comfy spot. Price accompanied you to your bus stop even when you told him he didn't have to, he just pursed his lower lip and shrugged hiding his hands on his pockets instead of touching you in any way like he used to.

You felt bitter and confused, sad and frustrated and so did he.

There were many feelings tormenting you during your departure that only seemed to grow louder as Price saw you getting on the bus, checking on your figure when you sat next to a stranger further from the window before he left home lighting a cigar.

You cried in bed that night, and you hated it because it hurted more than when you cried about your ex Lisa. Price on the other hand, invited Martha over to his apartment at three in the morning, fucked her until the memory of your last encounter was slightly fogged by the pleasure of his girlfriend's walls squeezing him just right and collapsed in bed ignoring the hickies she had on her left shoulder, hickies he had never given her.

Martha snored soundly tucked by his side, your beautiful face shone from his phone when Price, for the very first time since he had known you, decided to stalk your Instagram account. Yes, you were into girls, that much was clear as the old captain scrolled through your publications and saw plenty of pictures of you with your friends and who he assumed was your ex girlfriend Lisa. There was one particular selfie that made his numb body feel a pang of ache on his chest, it was of you a few months back hugging your girlfriend's waist with this beautiful smile that momentarily dulled his heartbreak until he saw the short caption underneath the selfie: "Today we make two years together! My best friend, my muse, my goddess, my beautiful girlfriend. No one will ever make me feel as whole as you had made me feel all this time. Forever yours, (Y/n) <3"

Just before turning his phone off, he swiped down to read your bio. Price's brows rose up at the sight of his girlfriend's Instagram on your list of followers.

"Shit..."

______

"What's got you low, bee?" Your friend asked entering the shop where you worked at.

It was almost nine and your boss had given you the thumbs up to leave half an hour earlier because you were feeling like total shit and the night went slow anyway, so your friend Alan took it upon himself to try and drag you out of the shop for a night out with your mutual friends and you didn't have the heart to tell them no because of all the time you spent apart.

"Look at him! You can be sooo puntual when it comes to hangouts, Alan-boo." You replied ignoring the question with a purr turning off the lights and locking the door with Alan following you around like a lost duckling.

"It's been so fucking long, (Y/n)! We miss you! When Martha told us that you went clubbing alone all this time to forget about Lis-"

"Clubbing?" You interrupted the redhead with a calm voice as if to not pay much mind to their worry. "You guys can be so dramatic... I just went to a few bars to fish up some gals~!" You said in a sing-song tone.

"Any luck?" Alan pushed guiding you to his car. You gave him a dramatic huff of fake (or not so fake) frustration in replay and he laughed.

Thankfully, during the ride to the bar where they had chosen to meet up, you both didn't comment much more about your nocturnal whereabouts during your "self exile" from the group. The memory of Price was like a punch to the gut you were not in the mood to suffer. At least not for tonight.

The Goblin King was a bar some of your friends frequented every Wednesday night to play Dungeons and Dragons in their basement since the owner was one of your friends' dad, it was funny how no matter how old they've gotten, they still held such deep love for a game they played together as teenagers. Though, tonight was different because most of the people from your group didn't like it, so they agreed to leave table games behind and enjoy drinks with Martha's new boyfriend. You laughed when Alan deflated saying she had organized this meeting only to try and incorporate her new love interest to the group even when she was giving him and (apparently) other male friends mixed signals. You couldn't deny you were feeling curious about who in their right mind would seriously date this woman.

Imagine your surprise when you approached the crowdy wooden table, while your friends greeted and playfully picked on you for disappearing all this time, and you found a pair of tired blue eyes above a magnificent beard staring at you from the other side of the table. Price and you locked gazes, hiding the shock and trying to play it off stretching hands with a quick greet. He was dressed casually and yet it didn't dull his handsomeness one bit.

So she's Martha's so called "rainbow friend"...

So he's Martha's new boyfriend...

"Oh my god (Y/n). You wench!" Martha's sudden call from the bar startled you and you swore you'd vomit from the sudden scare she gave you mixed with the anxiety of having Price looking at you with those baby blue puppy eyes again. Does she know what happened? Did Price mention something about...

"If only I've known you'd be pulling that killer outfit I would have hidden my boyfriend, haha!" She joked sitting on Price's lap making the guys (and you) look away uncomfortable. Price noticed this and tensed up, blinking rapidly for a second parting his lips ready to change the subject. You were still wearing your work uniform which the only thing that could kill was a boner, and suddenly you were feeling insecure. Fucking awesome, thanks Martha.

"First of all don't call me wench, dear. We haven't reached that phase yet." You said amusedly but clearly stating boundaries, she laughed nodding without apologizing. "And second of all... You look like a snack! I'm jealous! Of Price, obviously. He hit the jackpot on ya." You said placing your backpack on the back of the chair before sitting swiftly next to Alan and other girl friend of yours, Malory.

Some of them rose their brows and Martha squinted curious. "How come you know his name? Do you know each other?"

Shit.

"I'm a regular at her shop." Price said casually squeezing Martha's thigh with a tight-lipped smile. You missed his dumb smiles.

"At the tea shop?" Martha questioned suddenly all suspicious while scratching Price's gigantic shoulder with her sinfully long pink nails.

"Babe, I'm British." The way Price said that made the table erupt in chuckles quickly lightening up the mood. Everyone laughed but you who just smiled amused by the comment and quickly excused yourself walking off to order something at the bar with Price's eyes following your every move, the table soon recovered their previous conversations.

What's up with her? This woman has been sexting all your male friends ever since she joined the group, and she was well aware of your sexuality so why act jealous? Oh, and what the hell was with Price dating none other than MARTHA SWANSON? You thought he could do better than that... Come on, John. And since when did he have a girlfriend anyway!? Why didn't he tell you before making that weird (and cute) date thing in that abandoned place? Shit, what if... What if that wasn't a date at all and you were looking too deep into things?

Somehow that thought hurted more than you'd like to admit. But you can't just assume someone's into you just because you are cute and single.

Fuck... Perhaps you were bisexual after all. Or at least just for Price, which isn't fair because he has a girlfriend and your past experiences with men were the reason why you left the closet. You can't simply start experimenting on him to see if you aren't fully lesbian when you still have some issues with men to work on and he has a girlfriend (as bitchy as she is).

The moment you ordered a "Whiskey on the rocks." a male voice echoed your order mockingly at the same time. You rose your brow looking over your shoulder where Price was slowly walking to your side with a small smile looking everywhere but you rocking his weight on the spot he stopped at. You knew when Price did this hip thrust thingy was either because he was happy or he was nervous. And judging by the way he didn't hold your gaze for long, he was most definitely nervous.

Big hairy arms crossed on his chest leaning on the counter, both of you were quiet as the barman quickly handed your glass and went to take your cash until Price rose his hand to halt him handing him his own bill discreetly, surely praying that Martha didn't see him inviting you for a drink after acting so suspicious and jealous in the table.

"Can't say I'm surprised you'd order the same shit as always even when they've got awesome pints in 'ere." He delivered in a soft hum. His voice, ever so manly and calming, made your hard shoulders shag slightly relaxing your stance, Price's gaze was lost in the bottles displayed behind the busy barman who was drying some glasses trying to ignore the satisfaction he felt noting the effect he had on you. Then, you decided to replay but in a way that held a double meaning, you could only hope he understood.

"I'm a gal or habits. But I must say there are things I wouldn't mind trying."

He was taken aback never imagining you'd say such thing. As you took your whiskey and walked one single step further from the bar trying to scape the scene to leave him some space to swallow what you said, Price's hand on your waist halted you instantly. You choke on your breath at the feeling of his giant hand delicately squeeze the plushness of you waist through your uniform like this. He was quiet, a tight smile pushing up his facial hair and cheeks crinkling his eyes further in an expression you had never seen him put and could only be described as want and worry all mixed together.

"(Y/n)." Price begun retreating his hand from your waist.

"I'm sorry." You said, not needing to hear anything else. "I misunderstood the situation when we were stargazing..."

John didn't have the heart to tell you that you didn't misunderstand anything keeping in mind that you two were still coming to terms with what happend that night and the impact it had on your friendship forever changing the view you had of one another. Truth is, (for both of you) that he was afraid of spending another week not talking to you even though the distance was needed. As adults, the stress or work, family and new relationships can make one's emotions unstable and unclear for one's self and therefore for others around them. His aunt often said that as an adult he must figure his shit out, but for Price it was different considering his whole life was his job and he has only begun living it recently. In desperation at the realization that he was no longer a boy but a middle-aged man whose life was running before his eyes faster than he wanted to admit, John suddenly found himself begining a romantic relationship with a woman who was only in for sex and appearances to later finding in her nothing but numbness and headaches, that until he found someone better for him who brought so many feelings and experiences in such little time you've known each other, that filled him with wonder for the future but couldn't persue anything further than friendship reaching his predicament since you were not attracted to him sexually and he was already committed to someone else. What a mess.

"Me too. I'm sorry for..." Price shook his head forcing his eyes to remain in your face with a long sigh. "For acting like that. I know i made things awkward pretty quickly, I didn't mean t' sound hateful or childish, and that plus the week of zero contact surely made me look like an asshole." You nod In agreement with an humorous smile that turned into a chuckle he mirrored. "Our friendship is very important to me, (Y/n). You just-..." He paused staring at the depths of your pupils intensively making you blush feeling slightly exposed. "You are important to me. You just give sense to everything..."

Your smile widened, your right hand swirled the whiskey glass making the ice cubes clank satisfactorily when you took one step closer to Price. "I don't make sense to shit, big Price. It's the alcohol in our systems what gives it to anything in our shitty lives."

Is it though? Is the whiskey in your hand the elixir you both need to feel such connection? Suddenly everything around you disappears, it's only John and you in that bar closer than before.

"Then maybe we should stop involving alcohol every time we see each other." He speaks lowly, his voice and cologne intoxicating your senses. You lips part, the dreamy look in your face making him exhale in delight. "If you're right and any booze we take makes sense to... This." He moves a finger between you and him "Then I wanna stop drinking and be lost in you, (Y/n)."

"J-John..." You would have loved to continue this conversation but having Martha whine Price's name from the table like a desperate cat in heat made you two step away awkwardly and turn to reality going back to the table.

Oh to spend half an hour between laughs and jokes with your friends. How you missed this, you missed them. But as mentioned, it lasted half an hour until all of you all grew slightly tense when you begun taking notice of some heated looks shared between Alan and Martha the more they drank, and the way every time it happend, Price sent you this knowing look that stirred something within you. It wasn't desire, it wasn't amusement, it was something ugly that started eating up your insides until you were so irritated that once Martha and Alan left to the bathroom to do what you all knew they'd do, you took your chance to leave for a quick smoke along some of your friends who left the table sending Price looks filled with pitty. Price didn't mind them and stood up taking his coat to follow your smaller group, hopefully to continue the conversation you two were having.

You were a mess once you left the bar and walked to the nearest alley claiming you needed to be alone for some time, your friends brushed it off as they thought that any mention or hint of an affair would trigger the memory of Lisa.

Price didn't act surprised or hurt when Martha's affair was evident. That was either because he was dumb and haven't realized yet or he simply didn't care, but you knew how sharp big Price was. He wasn't a captain for nothing. You knew how attentive he is about anything and anyone around him, so you guessed he knew. And that started eating up your head with questions fueled by the alcohol in your system: Were you a part of his plan to get back at Martha for her cheating? Was this deep connection between you two something made up by Price to hopefully seduce you despite your sexuality only to shove the emotional affair to his girlfriend's face?

Fuck, you were so stupid. So fucking stupid. First it was your ex Lisa Higgins cheating on you after two years together apparently because you weren't as bold and wild as you used to be when she met you. Now it was John Price, who not only tried and succeed to make you forget about your ex and begin feeling more confident about yourself, but also made you question your sexuality and almost got you compleatly falling for him only to use this to get back at his cheating girlfriend.

You were done feeling heartbroken and used. You were done with romance, it simply wasn't for you. It only brought pain and misery.

"Hey, sweetheart?" You heard near the alleyway until John's face peeked from the brick wall looking at you worriedly. "What's happened? You alright...?" Was he following you again? Come on.

Without a thought you turned to him, your face showing nothing but hurt and vulnerability and Price couldn't contain himself so he quickly approached you wrapping you on your coat that you had forgotten inside and cooed at you as his arms wrapped around you trapping you on a suffocating hug. You whimpered on his chest and spoke up "When I was fresh out of college, I was invited to a party some of my old classmates were throwing." Price looked downwards a little confused until your teary eyes met his again. "No one told me I was the only girl coming or that the game they invented and insisted on me playing was only for them to enjoy... Or that the video they filmed about us playing said game would go viral on Twitter."

There was a pause then and realization hit Price quicker than you thought it would. "Jesus-"

"It obviously didn't turn well for them. But the damage was done. Some time later, the video was deleted, most of them are in jail now and I changed cities years before I met Lisa, but... Well. Since then I leaned more towards women, as you can imagine..."John crouched a bit to your level brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb, his hand was so warm it quickly comforted you. You looked up at him, both of you sharing an intense look that showed that the connection shared you thought lost wasn't so lost after all.

He whispered then "You are the strongest woman I know, (Y/n). I'm so sorry that happened to you..." Which got you sniffing so you could reply quickly reminding yourself of the previous negative thoughts you had about the captain.

"I'm not sorry. I'm much stronger now than I was then, so with that... I can tell you confidently that I'm a lesbian, John..." The way you said it sounded like you were chastising him.

"Are you?" Price asked arching a brow tilting your chin up. He was so close your hands pressed against his chest afraid he'd kiss you and make a fool out of yourself because you weren't sure you'd resist his charms any longer, all against your confidence of liking the opposite sex.

"You know the answer." You felt proud for saying it without a stutter. "Listen, if you are just doing this to use me for your vendetta against you cheater girlfriend, I can't help you. You-... Can't just ask me to like men!" You barked perplexed. Price on the other hand didn't blink, he just looked at you with half-lid eyes lost on every faction of your face making you think he truly hadn't paid attention to anything you just said.

"I don't give a rat's ass about Martha at this point, (Y/n)." Your eyes widened when he said that so plainly, your hands going slack on his chest until his other hand held them tight to his pectorals. "I'm not asking you to like men, only to like me." John grunted out in frustration, and your heart begun beating faster.

What is gender when it comes to love. What is your sexual orientation when you have someone you love and cherish so deeply at the palms of your hands, kissing your feet and loving you unconditionally wanting nothing but to pleasure you in any way they can, to make you feel special and more importantly, loved. Is John Price worth your heart?

"I'm leaving for approximately three months. It's work related and strictly confidential." He continues after giving you some seconds to digest what he said "I don't want you to pity me and force yourself to love me when we are fine just as we are, love. But I want to tell you that the only person that I'll have in my head when I leave England will be you, (Y/n). Not Martha, not our friend group, not my piers or any other bloody person in this country but you."

The sob that scaped your mouth made you feel a pang of embarrassment that forced you to quickly look away until Price turned desperate gently turning your face his way with both hands on your cheeks. "Lie to me... Tell me that you love me, (Y/n). Just once before I leave."

Why is he so dramatic? Is this for real? Could it be that this mission was mortal? He was in the military, this wasn't some stupid work trip where he'd have to talk to some higher-ups and after a week or two he'd come back like nothing happenend. He'd be handling guns and getting fired at. He'd have more wounds and scars to show you followed by countless stories about how he dodged death only to make you realize that his job was indeed dangerous and he wasn't inmortal.

"...I can't..." You sobbed.

"...Why?" He asked, his voice sounding broken contradicting the confident and strong aura he always radiated.

"Why? I'd never lie to you... You dimwit." That earned a loud chuckle from him that sounded painful, like he was forcing himself to laugh instead of crying right then and there. "I'm not ready to say it... Not yet." You whispered, and Price exhaled.

After that, he kissed your hairline, both hands still holding your cheeks up applying more pressure into the kiss before he turned away with a rushed "Goodnight, love." Leaving you there dumbfounded with the realization that, despite claiming that you'd never lie to him, you already did when you told him of your sexuality. At this point you'd consider yourself Price-sexual if that was even a thing, which you were sure it was with the way all your lady friends looked at Price back in the bar.

You needed some time alone in the alley when Price left, feeling an upcoming headache with all the things you felt tonight. When you went back to the bar everyone was there but Price who had left leaving no excuse, but everyone thought he did because of Martha's stunt so they didn't fault him.

______

Two months without seeing or hearing nothing from Price. You felt like you'd go mad.

The countless texts and calls you sent went ignored. You cursed him for leaving you like that, you begged him to call you whenever he could, you reminded him of the silly nightly scapades you made and how fun it was to do literally anything with him, sent pictures of your cat who he always wanted to meet yet you claimed he had to organize a plan with you and his team first, told him how shitty his music taste was and yet how fitting once you investigated the bands he recommend to you when you met. Lastly, you also apologized again and explained all of this was too confusing for you when you were still trying to move on from Lisa and past trauma.

And on the third month, nothing.

Your life felt oddly normal, like Price never existed. Like you never left the group at all. It wasn't a surprise when Alan and Martha openly announced their friends with benefits' relationship out of the blue, most of your friends actually left the group after that because they felt she had messed up the whole dynamic by sleeping with half of the guys when she was in a relationship. Alan didn't keep quiet as he should have and defended her with stupid excuses that pissed all of you off. And yet, after some time, things kind of went back to normal when Martha suddenly disappeared. Alan said she was tired of all the drama and blamed you all for the group's decay deciding she'd focus more on Price and Price alone.

None of you believed her bullshit, specially you who knew Price was still on duty, but otherwise kept quiet on the matter because finally without Alan and Martha, the group recovered itself quickly and you all swore you would never sleep with each other so this types of dramas wouldn't happen again.

Your job was... Boring. Like always. But the routine and your friends helped you heal from Lisa and distracted you from your unfinished business with Price. On this third month without him, you begun going to therapy and it's the best thing you could have done. You had to carry multiple tissues in the first few sessions, and that's when you realized just how many feelings you had suppressed all this years. By the end of the month you realized (if it wasn't clear enough with Price's charms) that you were indeed bisexual, but all the pent up trauma formed a giant wall between you and the opposite sex that made you believe you had lost all attraction you held for men, but Price was the awakening, or so the therapist said. And you couldn't deny it, but you also agreed that it was best to remain single and focus on yourself in order to heal and form healthier friendships and even romantic relationships with other people.

Texting Price was no longer in your routine. Every time you felt the urge to do so, you'd watch a random episode from your favorite series, read a book or take Raspberry for a walk on the park with the new leash you had purchased from Amazon for the orange cat's fourth birthday.

Out of England, John was a mess and was only doing a little worse each day away from home. He'd focus on the mission and would never waver from it, even when his unit tried to take some breaks so they could catch air and relax from work, such thing never crossed Price's mind as he was eager to finish quickly so he'd go back to you. They were all worried, even Ghost, being the quietest, expressed his concerns about Price's change of personality. How he was more snappy than usual, always seemed to sulk, being overly reactive to the enemy's counterattacks just as he was with Laswell when she claimed they'd probably spend another few weeks if not another month stuck in there. Once he almost reached the fourth month away from you, he finally, oh finally, accomplished his duty and was granted permission to leave home earlier than anyone had liked. Frankly he didn't give a fuck about how badly it looked from him (as a captain) to leave "early", as this mission got on his nerves and he was worried sick about your view of him after he left the way he did to then throw a killing blow by ignoring your texts since he was not allowed to contact anyone at that time. But you didn't know that.

When he returned to his apartment, Price went directly to charge his phone and threw himself to the bathroom eager to enjoy a long, well-deserved shower followed by a wank. Watching the grime wash from his body being carried by the steaming water was something John didn't think he'd watch ever again. This mission was hellish to say the least, too many close calls, many fellow soldiers lost in enemy territory, many new scars to "brag" about... And he was fucking exhausted, so at the last minute he decided to skip the wank and read your messages.

This mission shouldn't have tired him the way it did. After all, he IS a captain. He is in the military. This should have been a walk in the park for him but... But where was his heart and head if not in the field of battle? He was too worried over losing you all over again due to his absence that it tired him mentally, so much so that instead of worrying for his life, Price only feared he'd never see you again, that he'd die without hearing you say that you reciprocated his feelings.

Honestly, you did imply that you do, but you never properly said "I love you." It's scary how much power that one sentence held over Price. How he felt like he could die in peace if only you said such thing. It was stupid, childish, even. But he couldn't help but feel weak over you.

Price didn't know you for a full year and he felt like he'd loose himself if he never got to see you again. Just like young lovers feeling so much intensity in their first relationship they'd be planning their future together even though they wouldn't last long. Maybe's because you were best friends, maybe's because of the limitations in your relationship due to your sexuality and his girlfriend... His obsession could be caused by many factors. But the easiest answer was simply because you were you. Because he never craved anything or anyone the way he craved you. Because you brought that spark to his life he never thought he needed until he begun feeling it in your company.

Because you were his everything.

Finding thousands upon thousands of texts an calls from you stirred something primal in Price. A need of returning to you, of feeling a loving touch after all these months of blood and carnage, to receive a sassy remark or literally anything you wanted to throw at him to comfort his old tired body, to make him feel like he was safe away from danger. The captain needed to return to his home, and his home was his woman.

Lover or friend, no matter what you chose, you were his. He'd be damned if he never got to tell you this.

______

On your way home from work, you felt a strange feeling of anticipation. You wanted to excuse it telling yourself it was because you were craving to get out of the rain and snuggle with your cat, much to his distaste.

Your eyes widen when you spotted a hooded figure sitting in your porch. The man is tall, the hoodie is old and from a certain someone's favorite football team. The hooded person lifted his head and you stood there frozen, a few steps away from where he was sat.

"John...?" Price felt like he'd die right there when you weakly called his name.

The months apart messed with his head and right now he could only feel... Yearning. He yearned for this.

His giant body propelled itself from the steps like an invisible force was pushing him to touch you. Your drenched body cried at the contact of his warmth and the smell of blue lavender Axe, his favorite deodorant. His arms wrapped around your middle and yours hugged his neck while Price buried his face on you wet locks with a needy sound you could only describe as a whine, you did the same with his neck lowering his hood that now uncovered his oak hair. No longer wet under the rain, your porch secured you from the shitty weather. You both panted at the contact as if during all these months you couldn't properly breath until you were holding one another.

Fuck the invisible chastity belt, fuck your doubts about your sexuality. Your John is back home, and you are one hundred percent willing to give him a very warm and wet welcome.

"Hello, dolly..." John gasped and you chuckled emotional, your shaky hand struggled to fish your keys from your coat's pocket eager to get the wet captain out of the cold.

"Hello to you too, big Price-..." You made a quick move to scape his bear hug and he didn't fight, afraid of crossing your boundaries until your hand took his tightly while you made quick work on opening your front door to drag the tired man inside your home until.

"SLAAAAG!" Your neighbor yelled from across the street.

John and you froze, shared a confused look then turned back to face your annoying neighbor.

"FUCK YOU, RONALD!" You screamed and Price followed back with a "GET YER FUCKING ASS HOME, RONALD!" Yeah. That's the same sexist neighbor you two tormented one drunken night by covering his entire work van with pink post-its.

"FUCK THE PAIR OF YA!" He wishes. "I SPENT MY WHOLE SATURDAY MORNING GETTIN' RID OF 'EM GIRLY PINK POST-ITS FROM MA' VAN! YA WANKERS! I KNOW IT WAS YOU! I'LL SUE YA!" The old man threatened trying to open his front door to secure the grocery bags from the rain. He looked clownish as hell, the insults and threats never affected you guys only causing a fit of low laughter to scape your grinning mouths.

"Ow fuck off you fucking dinosaur! Get the fuck back inside before I demolish ya!" Price said back with laughter on his tone rising a fist to your neighbor's way, that earned him a smack on the chest from you compleatly amused by his empty threat. Price tilted his head to your door silently begging you to hurry and you complied.

You two rushed inside leaving the old man baffled taking a second before he resumed his list of insults lovingly dedicated to the both of you. Ronald probably thought he won the fight so soon you'll have to put him on his place with one of you pranks. But now you MUST focus on Price.

After you closed the door and dropped your wet coat to the previously dry floor so carelessly, you jumped on Price shoving him against the wall with the force of the impact, your arms and legs wrapped around him like a monkey while he held you up tightly laughing endeared.

"Where the heck were you!? I told you to call me!" You exclaimed nuzzling your cheek against his loving the way he practically melted at this gesture, his beard scratched your skin as he pressed closer letting out an exhale that seemed to rob him of all the air from his lungs. You weren't mad at him after all. God, the relief. And this new cuddly side of you? He couldn't believe this was real. Weren't you resentful? Your loving nuzzles don't express so.

John's shoulders shook with the small enamoured chuckle he let out, then, he leaned close to whisper in your ear making you shiver lightly "I told you it was classified, love. Besides, I wanted to surprise you." He gave you a small pat on the bum. "Did I succeed?" He purred lastly, voice liquid honey.

You felt-... You felt warm all over. And you were sure he knew it by the way he was pressing yourself closer and closer, and fuck. There was no doubt the gigantic tent on his pants wasn't any of those big guns they carried on the military. Just when the realization hit you that you had John breathing heavily in your ear, your body compleatly wrapped around his while his erection was pressing hardly and JUST right against your clothed cunt, you whimpered.

"Fuck." You hummed. Weren't you supposed to avoid this? You should talk to your therapist about it next monday...

"What do we..." John breathed out, still afraid he was surpassing your boundaries.

Your eyes met his, noses gracing due to being in such close distance. He was immobile, his hands still supporting your weight by your bum and his boner pretty evident as it stabbed your jeans over your wet panties.

"You a virgin?" You joked, he tilted his head slightly back to fix you a confused but amused look with a small squint.

"Is there a right answer...?" Price mustered sounding uncharacteristically flustered and nervous.

"You act like one, big P." You grinned and his eyes darkened.

"God, I fucking missed you."

Your lips clashed in a heated kiss that felt fucking perfect even if it was a blur between lips, teeth and tongue. Gosh he had so much hair on his face, and yet it fit perfectly. His hands were massaging and squeezing your ass, now blindly walking to your living room until you both reached the couch where he flopped you on your back making Raspberry yelp in surprise, the poor cat hurried to get the fuck out of the room before Price begun taking his clothes off laughing in eagerness with you as you did the same. Like two young lovers, as mentioned. In a blink, your clothes were all across the carpet. With matching eagerness you made a quick move to straddle the aroused captain who whistled at how fast you moved to top him.

How proud he momentarily looked. Price's sure you'd be quick learning self-defense technics if he were to teach you. Maybe the reward of sex could be a motivator judging by how lightheaded and hungry you seemed on top. Of course he was only letting you on top because he fucking missed you and felt like he owed you.

His heaving hairy chest tickled your breasts once you fully sat on his lap with his erection pressing against his toned abdomen, your eagerness seeming to tone down feeling slightly intimidated by the sight of the giant captain being used as a human chair, cock standing proudly between you.

"W-well..." You stuttered. But who could fault you? Imagine being a lesbian for years and finding yourself straddling a guy with a cock the size of a monster can, and fat as one too. It was meaty all over, cut, with a big pink tip. His big thighs shifted a little impatiently from time to time because of the arousal. Even his nipples under the small mat of hair on his chest had gone hard as peebles. You felt... Aroused but intimidated, and Price could tell, his voice coming low and comforting but teasing nonetheless.

"Now who's acting like a virg-"

You shut him up by robing him a kiss, he hummed in delight. The kiss was brief but deep, soon reviving the fire in your cunt. His sky eyes shut as you moved back again to assess the issue staring down his huge dick with a determinated look.

"If I only knew you'd be shutting me up with kisses... I would have turned the most talkative mother fucker in all London." His awful flirting worked dissipating your nerves further, yet after a little pause feeling the little hesitation you had left, he wanted to make sure.

"We don't have ta' do this." Prices' tone was soft and assuring, but you already made up your mind and you were one hundred percent sure you could do this.

"You are such a sweet talker, love..." Price tried to fight the huge grin on his face when you called him that, but just like a happy dog moving it's tail, his cock twitched in between your folds, reannouncing his arousal. You grinned delighted at this leaning to his ear, his eyes entranced at the sight of your bare tits pressing up against his chest.

"You do like it when I praise ya, huh?" You whispered on his ear, he agreed in a light "uh huh..." Both hands massaging your thighs impatient, his breathing going raspy, but he was clearly holding himself back. "I'm okay with this... No need to be so cautious when you've got me naked n' wet all over you, John." You purred nibbling on his earlobe. To such sentence, his body begun reacting accordingly to how he was feeling, his tip leaked, his hands grew sweaty and his breathing heaved deeper, his thighs shifted more and more under you suffering from the strong desire to thrust up.

His lips found yours, one of his hands cupped your right ass cheek as the other guided your hand towards his leaking cock delivering your lower lip a bite as your small hand grabbed his heating cock firmly. Then, John asked. "Can I speak bluntly...?" You whined a "sure... Stop usin' filters... Just fucking tell me what you think, big P." He was so sweet for asking though.

"Right then..." The way his eyes darked and the strong painful squeeze on your buttocks made you shift on the spot. "I'm gonna fuck you so fucking hard, luv... You've got no idea how long I wanted to do this..."

But it was your response what got Price feeling like this whole ordeal was just one of his deepest darkest fantasies about you being manifested by his tired brain. "Fuck me, huh? I think I'll be the one fucking you, big P. Look at us. The big scary captain Price just returning home to be riden to death, pussydrunk and victorious."

The following growl he let out was nothing but sinful, the sweet result of your eager hand moving his cock fixing the tip in between your folds drenching it with your arousal, the perfect natural lubricant. "I've brought condoms." Price said stopping you from sinking down his member any further. Your eyes met his once again, pupils so dilated he could see his own reflection in them.

"We'll deal with the consequences later. Buy a pill or something, I don't care..."

Price was weak man. He was so fucking weak for you.

"How irresponsible~..." He was so quick to shut up with a loud grunt that sounded like old guy getting kicked on the balls once your ass was fully seated on his lap. His cock slid directly inside with zero effort, punching your womb with the force of your abrupt jump downwards practically impaling your small body. He'd have to reward you somehow by how nice and quiet you tried to be once the whole monster entered your small, flushed pussy.

Price had this shit-eating grin staring up at your fucked out face. You shifted on the spot with his cock still inside molding your walls, soon adjusting your legs planting the heels of your feet on the the couch on each side of his wide legs. John picked up on this and held your ass more firmly, both hands enjoying the way your ass cheeks melted to his palm. Then you grinned back with this challenging look, and Price was in.

Your ass sunk aggressively hard, instantly with a very desperate pace colliding against his thighs and big, hairy, pulsating balls. John sat there with his mouth watering and eyes widening at the sight of your blissed out face, the loud moans you let out were Price's new favorite sound. Your moans, and how awfully dirty you begun to talk.

"F-fucking perfect..." You let out, eyes hypnotized by the way his pecs begun lightly jiggling like jello at the pace and force of your hips. "I needed this cock, John. Fuck-fuck- I... I needed you to fucking impale me with this fucking thing." Jesus.

Your higher body leaned back arching like a cat, with one hand using his left shoulder as leverage and the other supporting your weight on his knee. His own helped you guiding your pace by your hips, big calloused palms nuzzling and squeezing your tender skin. "Y' like ma' cock so much you'll end up- ..." He growled deeply at the realization of what he was about to say. "... fucken' knocking yourself up with my babies..."

Oh it shouldn't make you this desperate to hear such thing. The topic of kids was always something you avoided. But can you avoid it now with the way your body shivered, your pace turning sloppier and aggressive and your moans turning louder? "Y-YEAH! SHIT!"

Price felt like fainting right then and there, your whole body went forwards once more digging one of your nipples on his watering mouth. You both cried out loud when he met your eager jumps with thrusts of his own, balls hitting your ass so fucking hard, the clapping sounds could almost match in height your screans of bliss. How could a small doll like you NOT break with the way his cock bullied your insides like a horse in heat? How he felt the small tip of your cervix kiss his cock head, your painfully tight walls strangling his giant cock.

Your screams of pleasure will most definitely be the topic of the next meeting between your neighbors by the end of the week, and honestly? You were happy about letting them know that all the effort and training you had spent fucking dragon dildos up until now had been rewarded with the giant cock of your best friend testing the flexibility of your cunt.

"H-have no idea- AH! F-ffff....of how- of how long I've spent fucking touching myself thinking about this monster cock...H-How it bulged-" You whined reaching a second orgasm, Price's thumb didn't help one bit as it rubbed harshly on your small puffy clit.

"Y-yeah? Tell me about it, sweetheart..." He begged, body all shiny with sweat biting his lower lip at the small building pain from his spine by the way he was thrusting up so hard.

"Y-" A scream interrumped you, pace slowing down. Your whole body shivered and the urge to pee was so overwhelming you simply let go, your ears rang missing the way Price moaned out when his cock was being strangled harder than before and he could feel the waves of pleasure from your cunt. A big shot of squirt drenched his whole abdomen, his thumb aggressively played with your clit in order to prolong the orgasm. Prices' eyes went so wide it was almost comical, your body was shaking as if you got electro shocked, one hand weakly punching his chest so he'd stop and the other squeezed his knee painfully, your mouth open and whaling in pleasure followed by fat tears at how fucking blissful it felt to squirt so much and so hard all over your sweet captain. Price couldn't hold himself still, and against your wishes, (he'll apologize later) he flipped you over wrapping his arms around your body. He laid you down with your head almost handging off the armrest of your ruined couch, your knees were pushed to your ears' level and the enormous figure of Price engulfed your form when he lowered his body to hold your position still by tightly gripping at your ankles, pistoning his cock in and out of your puffy, squirt-drenched pussy. He applied all the force his sore body allowed him by using his toes by the end of the couch as support instead of his knees.

Imagine the bliss of an eighty four kilogram mountain of muscle dropping his whole weight at a quick pace against your crying sex. You were screaming before but now you were in a deep coma and he was the one screaming feeling his cock get milked in a way he has never experienced in his forty years of life on this earth. "F-FUUUUUCK... YES! FUCKING KEEP SQUEEZIN' ON MY DICK, BABY!" Price was shooting prayers at the sky, but the only goddess they were directed to was you and your enchanting, addicting pussy. "Y-YEAH... SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT..." When was the last time he felt like this in bed? Fuck, you truly were the one and only for him.

And it was one particular stab of his cock what seemed to bring you back to life, eyes going white rolling back. You moved your head forwards slowly, your chin pressing on your chest to properly look at the relentless attack of Price's cock, thrust going sloppy and uneven. There's no words that could describe the love you two felt at that moment, when your eyes met, mouth drooling with the purest of pleasure before you lowly growled. "Give me your seed, John..."

Price didn't ask where, he just let go inside of you. His feet were in the air when he delivered one final thrust, his waist was pressing hard against yours with the weight of his lower half, his hands still used your ankles as leverage to not fall on top of you. Price roared out his orgasm at the incredible and indescribable feeling of his balls emptying somewhere VERY deep inside your pussy, so fucking deep you could imagine the fountain of semen reaching even your throat (though anatomically incorrect). You two panted like dogs, still unmoving but not for now with the way your bodies seemed to give up on both of you.

Price held your expent body close, you two cuddled on the small space of your couch bathed in various different fluids.

Counting two minutes laying there in silence with your eyes closed, head pressed against his hairy chest, Price's soft feather touch along your waist stirred you up to reality. The feeling of your pussy crying rivers of cum made you round the Captain's waist with your leg followed by a long exhausted hum.

"Jesus..." You have no idea who out the two of you said that. But mood. That was the most intense sex you've ever had.

"Uff... That felt like three rounds in one go if you have any left..." You exhaled with a soft smile looking up at John who lazily blinked at you with a small smile of his own.

"Aha... Might wanna give me some time to recover, firecracker. Fuck, not even my job gets me this sweaty..." The captain jested earning a little kiss on the tip of his nose. "I wanna... I wanna melt right here for now. With you."

Your tired smile softened making Price lean impossibly closer to you. Curling against your sweaty body felt like heaven after the hell he had gone to all these months. Like you could read his mind, you asked.

"What's it like out there? Being a captain n' all?" You had never asked him many questions about his role in the military because the mere mention of his job brought a somber look on his half-lid eyes. You knew it was a heavy topic for Price, he stood proudly on his occupation but you could read the pain he felt when he recalled the things he did and people he had lost to get to where he was right now.

John spoke lowly, tiredness making his foggy brain answer with sincerity. "No body ever told me being a captain could be this... Suffocating. I just knew when I was promoted. Everyone keeps askin' me what I wanna do durin' missions... And I just look at 'em and say what they want and need ta' hear. But you know what I really wanna do?" He took a pause then, eating up the sight of you naked on his chest with this comforting look on your face. "I wanna go home, hug you even if I never was a hugger... I wanna get the clean cups outta the dishwasher and put 'em in the cupboard to make some tea for us in the morning. I wanna watch you drinking it peacefully as you rant to me about this new book you've read or show you've seen, tell me of the new plans you've made for us in the night, who'd be pranking and what we'd be drinking while doing so. I wanna make you feel good, so good, wanna make ya orgasm as many times as I can to pay for all the time I'm gone for work. Truly. I just..." John sighed. And after a small pause he gave you the word to speak.

"I wanna sleep. All the time. Sometimes it feels like, when I have my eyes closed I can somehow travel to a dream where I don't feel shitty or useless or unloved constantly. And then I wake up and you are missing and I'm back to that crappy reality where I can only feel like shit." Your confession squeezed his chest so hard, the exhausted brit felt tears gathering on his eyes.

"No longer." Price promised.

"No longer." You echoed mimicking his manly voice breaking the soft moment causing John to giggle like a kid at your clownery. Such a funny and strange sound coming from him, but at the same time so fitting with that sweet stupid smile he was gracing you with.

"Fuck, you are beautiful." He said.

"I love you." You replied.

.

[virtualhell]

there’s something about those posts that talk about older women being mean to you in the work place that I don’t fuck with because I don’t think it’s as crazy as people make it out to be and they talk about it like look at that washed up old HAG she’s so jealous of me because I’m so hot and youthful and it’s like I guarantee you she doesn’t care she’s thinking about grocery prices rn lmao

[dinogoofy]

FIRST FIC OF HALLOWEEN LETS GOOOO

TW: Spectrophilia. Fingering. Rude Bi-han. Cold hands. MDNI!!!

No pronouns are mentioned, but reader is written as AFAB.

Bi-han X reader: Haunted House

Prompt: You moved into an old house last year, and strange things have been happening every time you bring a new date home. Doors opening, dishes rattling. Thing is- they only seem to happen around your dates. After the last guy breaks three of his fingers due to a cabinet slamming shut on him, you contact a friend that sends over her cooky spiritual aunt. She does some weird shit with some animal bones, and your house gets struck by lightning. Somehow, this must have charged the energies in the house, because now you can actually see the poltergeist. Turns out, he's in love with you, and has been jealous of all the living men who You've brought home.

   A lightning strike directly on your house sounds like a fucking bomb. For a minute, you had sworn that World War 3 had started and you were unfortunate enough to be the first to die. You had flinched away from the cooky older woman and into the floor. The candles that she had set up on your coffee table had gone out, leaving the room pitch black. If you weren’t still panicking, you’d be worried about your appliances and how long the electrical company would take to get your power up and running. Your ears are ringing so loud you can hardly hear the woman as she giggles and says something. You can’t even look at her, curled up on the floor desperately taking deep breaths to cool down. You hear a deep voice, a man’s voice, and it causes you to jump and look around frantically. Only you and Aunt Tessa were supposed to be in the house, so what was that?!

   “You’re certainly easily startled, aren't you!” The Aunt Tessa again. You glance at her, placing a hand over your racing heart. 

   “What was that?” You ask. She smiles in a weird way, and begins to pick up the strange little setup of bones and candles and herbs she sat laid out across your coffee table. 

   “Well, my niece might have lied to you a - teensy little bit! I- as a simple, homely witch, can’t actually dispel spirits!” You make a face of disbelief at her, and she giggles again. She leans down to help you up, and your hands are still shaking from the -literal- shock of having your house struck by lightning. You really needed to check the wiring or call someone to come make sure you’re house wasn’t going to go up in flames any minute, but right now you really just wanted to feel like you could breathe again. 

   “What I did do, however, is charge the energies of the house.” She declares excitedly. You Bring your hands up to your head, massaging your temples out of stress.

   “You what?!” You cry. She nods her head happily.

   “I figured this guy really needed to fix his little problem, so you know, might as well give him the power to do so!” She’s already collected her things, and even as you desperately ask her what she means by that, all she does is nod and smile contentedly as she walks out the door and shuts it behind her. You’re left reeling as she leaves the house in the pouring rain, but when you run to open the door and catch her, she’s already gone. There’s no trace of her anywhere. There's a cold prickly feeling that leaves goosebumps up your arm, one that you know for a fact you have felt before, off and on, but only ever when you had dates over. 

   “Crazy old hag.” At first, the words don’t quite register in your head. And then you wonder if you had said it without realizing it, but a cold feeling washes over you when you realize that the words were certainly too deep in tone to come from you. You slowly turn around and are met with the chest of a man no less than two feet away from you. You look up and are met with hardened honey-brown eyes. His eyebrows furrow after a moment of eye contact.

   “What’s wrong with you now?” He grumbles, clearly talking to himself. It didn’t seem to occur to him just yet that you could see him. You take a step back in disbelief before you remember to breathe again. You take a step back and hit the door, before bolting around him for your phone.

   “What. The actual. Fuck!” You’re exasperated, desperately fumbling with your phone to try and call your best friend.

   “You can see me?” The Man asks, but it sounds more like a statement. He’s close behind you when you turn around to pace, and you flinch.

   “No! No, I can’t. I can’t see you, I can't hear you, and I’m definitely not talking to you right now!” You can hear a small huff of amusement from him as you run into your room and close the door. The phone rings a few times before your friend picks up.

   “You need you call your Aunt back over here right now!” You demand before she can even get a word in. 

   “Why? What happened? Is everything okay?”

   “No!” You cry, beginning to ramble. “First she got the house struck by lightning, and then she was just talking absolute nonsense before she left about some guy and him needing to work out his problems and whatever, and then she left- and I can- I can see the freaking ghost now, dude!” You start off loud and fast, and by the time you get the last few words you’ve started to whisper-scream at the phone.

   “Hold on- you’re saying the ghost is a dude? Is he hot?” You are completely dumbfounded. What the hell man, you're having a crisis here!

    “I just need her to tell me when this guy is going to go away!” You whisper-shout at her. She humms on the other side of the phone. You’re still pacing around your room.

   “I can hear you.” A deep voice rumbles next to your ear, as you turn again, and he’s right in front of you. You hadn’t seen the ghost coming (probably because he's a ghost. A literal fucking ghost) and you scream in fright due to the surprise, before groaning in aggravation and running into the bathroom, slamming the door beyond you.

   “Haven’t you ever heard of privacy?!” You yell. You can hear him scoff, and that weird chilly feeling goes away, so you assume that he’s gone to another part of the house.

   “Wow, was that him? His voice is hot.” 

   “That doesn't matter!” You screech into the phone. Your friend is laughing at you now, and if you weren’t still losing your mind you probably would be laughing too. You take a second to collect yourself, taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

   “Okay, Look, I’m trying not to lose my shit here. I thought she was going to handle the ghost problem, but now I have a walking-talking roommate who can walk through walls and just disappear whenever he wants. How do I deal with that?” You ask frantically. Your friend hums over the phone, and knowing her, you’re positive she is going to come up with some optimistic answer that doesn’t include an eviction letter for the poltergeist in your home.

   “Aunt Tessa is tricky to get ahold of, so if she thinks she’s done what she needs to do, I doubt either of us will be able to get in contact with her.” She says, almost in a guilty tone.

   “Sooo, You’re stuck with him for right now, probably? Until he finishes whatever unfinished business he had in the living world, anyway. The point is, why not get used to him at least? Talk to him, maybe find out why he’s still in the land of the living or whatever. It wouldn’t hurt.” Your friend says over the phone. You sigh, knowing that she’s right. 

   “Fine, I guess. But if this goes wrong and he makes my life more of a living hell than it was before, I’m blaming you.” You grumble, she laughs at you, letting you know that she wouldn’t blame you if you did, and hangs up the phone. You lean on the bathroom counter with a sigh, and after a moment of dread and stubbornness, you decide to try and talk to the ghost.

   You march back into your room, and after being a little thankful he wasn’t just waiting for you outside your door, you walk into the hallway. You end up walking through the house looking for him until you find Casper the grumpy ghost in the kitchen, watching the rain through the windows. 

   You lean on the kitchen island behind him with folded arms, waiting for him to speak up. When he doesn’t even spare you a glance, you realize he’s ignoring you, so you speak up to break the silence.

   “Do you have a name or what?” You ask bluntly. He glances at you from the corner of his eye, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

   “It’s Bi-han.” He states. It’s a curt response, and it almost annoys you. After all that ruckus in the house, slamming doors and drawers and breaking the fingers of a date you really liked, this is how he acts? Quiet, grumpy, and not at all the hothead you imagined?

   "Do you already know my name?" You ask. Bi-han rolls his eyes, but nods. You eye him suspiciously. It's quiet for a moment, but all of the previous ghostly activity in the house is really bothering you, and you end up asking him more questions with more attitude than you usually give off.

   “So it’s been you with the cabinets and doors and stuff, right?” He hums gruffly in response, more interested in looking outside at the rain than listening to you. That's seriously all he has to say?!

   “Could you at least tell me why?” You snap at him. His face scrunches up into a snarl as he looks out the window.

   “Do I need to?” The nerve of this man!

   “Yes! Yes. You need to.” He rolls his eyes and turns around to face you. You’re reminded of just how tall he is, and you try not to let his attractiveness affect your very valid anger. 

   “If you want to know so bad…” He says, stepping towards you. “Every man you bring home is incompetent.” He’s almost uncomfortably close, and you start to take a step back before you realize you’re trapped against the counter. Still, you try to keep a brave face as he closes in on your personal space. He keeps eye contact with you the entire time he approaches.

   “They’re ridiculous and incapable of caring for a woman. Every one of them” His low rumble reverberates through your chest somehow and you realise that the icy, prickly feeling from before has increased tenfold.

   “Why should I let you waste your time?” He says. Your breath catches in your throat as he lifts your chin in his hand. His eyes only ever break eye contact to look at your lips, and before you know it, he’s leaned in to kiss you. His lips feel strange, not quite physical even though you can feel every part of him just like you would a living man. His kiss is hard and demanding, and you’re not sure what to do. In the end, you decide, fuck it! You may be pissed with this guy, but you haven't slept with anyone since you moved into this house. And despite being a phantom, Bi-han was really, really attractive. He makes a deep hum when you start to kiss him back. You set your hands on his ghostly chest, and his hand releases your chin to circle around your waist. He bites your lip lightly, causing you to gasp. He leans back just barely, and you can hear him huff in amusement. You open your eyes to see his smirk, and hold back a scowl.

   “What?” You ask. He presses a teasing kiss to the corner of your mouth, before trailing kisses down your neck. It’s like he knows all of your sensitive spots by heart, nipping and sucking to leave impossible bruises on your neck. One of his hands threads through your scalp and tugs, keeping your neck exposed to him. You can’t help but let out a little whine.

   “I knew you’d be easy, but I wasn’t expecting you to be quite this eager.” He rumbles. You scoff and then gasp as he nips at the hollow of your throat.

   “Excuse me?!” You breathe. He chuckles darkly before you feel a hand slip down your front, down, down, and then back up, under your shirt. You inhale sharply at the feeling of his cold hand as he caresses your breasts through your bra.

   He takes the moment to kiss you again, slipping his tongue into your mouth. You can’t help but let out an involuntary noise as he drags his ice-cold hand under your bra, flicking your nipples in a tease before removing his hands again. You huff in annoyance, and he tips your head back again as he tongues you. His tongue is cold, just like the rest of him, but it wasn’t unpleasant at all. You almost enjoyed the feeling of the cold appendage roving across your warm and living tongue and teeth.

   His free hand trails down your body and into the waistband of your pants. He presses your sweet spot over your underwear before slipping inside of the spandex. You inhale a sharp breath as he gives you a short moment to breathe before kissing you breathlessly all over again. His cold fingertips flick your clit and you let out a squeak. He chuckles before his fingers slip downward to circle your slit. He teases your entrance for a minute, collecting the wetness that had already started to accumulate. You feel him smirk into the kiss, before he plunges a finger into you. You moan, muffled by his lips. 

   He releases you from the kiss as he starts to finger you eagerly, sucking and marking down your jaw and throat. You try in vain to keep your noises down, but it’s a struggle with how expertly Bi-han is touching your body. He slips in a second cold finger, scissoring your insides, and you feel the knot in your lower regions start to tighten. He can feel you clench as you get closer and closer to cumming. You’re moaning and whining louder now, only able to care about the pleasure Bi-han is giving you. You’re so close, right there, and then… He pulls his fingers away, stepping away from you and leaving you hanging.

   “I… What?” You mumble, brain completely gone.

   “You didn’t really think you were going to get fucked tonight, did you?” He says gruffly. 

   “I had to watch you bring man after man home, watching them touch you when I knew I could make you feel better than they ever could…” He leans forward, whispering in your ear in a sexy, low voice.

   “You think you can get away with taunting me like that? Please. If you want me to fuck you, You’re going to beg me for it.” Bi-han doesn’t even lean back, he simply disappears in front of you. The cold prickle on your skin remains for a second, dragging from your jaw to your chin before disappearing similarly. All you can do is stand there, leaning against the kitchen counter feeling like your legs are about to give out. You learned three things today: One, your ghost most definitely was scaring your dates away on purpose. Two, He’s hot. Like really hot. Even his voice is hot, and you're kinda annoyed that you’re agreeing with your friend when you really wished you could say it wasn't doing things for you. Three, Jesus Christ, You really wanted to fuck your ghost. Wonder how long you needed to beg him to take you, and if you can manage to get him to do so sooner rather than later.

[nothing0fnothing]

NEWSFLASH for abusive parents: NO Pussy is that good.

Exactly no one in the history of ever has had a happy, healthy, loving relationship with their mum and gone no contact with them for seven years, just because their partner asked them to.

OP knows this better than anyone, because she knew to tell her son not to get involved when she found out the girlfriend was no contact with her own toxic parents. She gives no other reason why she didn't want her "genius" son to meet the "very smart and nice" Law undergrad girl he was in love with, because that was the only one. She didn't want her son to connect with other adults who are healthily and happily no contact from their own abusive family members, because she didn't want him to see it was possible.

She really wants us to beleive that she is such a victim, because her son picked an "outsider to the family" over her. Her sons girlfriend is the person she's decided is going to take the blame, and hell will freeze over before she considers blamimg the relationship breakdown on literally anyone else. Note how she breezes past telling us about her sons "accusations" of her. She's stressing that he'd never brought the issues up before he met the girl when he was in college, but never actually denies them. Considering her son and his girlfriend described her as a "criminal", I'm gonna just assume that if it was trivial, she'd have told us what she's been accused of. He didn't choose his girlfriend over his mum at all. With all the pot stirring and projecting she's admitted to doing in this post alone, it seems to me he chose himself over her. With the way she's deflecting like it's her job and rents due, I don't blame him.

Here's a take that might be controversial: stalking... is bad. Even.. if you get someone else to do it for you.

"I had to use one of those search services" (What these psycho parents call private investigators, because it sounds more like they were searching for someone missing than that they paid someone to stalk their target.) as if her being out of pocket, paying for someone to seek out a person who clearly does not wish to be found, was super fucking inconvenient for her. I just want to scream "No babe, you didn't "have to" do anything. You chose to do that because you can't comprehend the fact that your now 30 year old son isn't your property." This dude is just young, free and living his best no contact life with his super cool, lawyer girlfriend. Literally nobody reasonable was concerned for his safety.

This is a woman who doesn't know how to apologise because she genuinely can't conceive of a scenario where she could be at fault. That snide comment "lord forbid I care about him" actually infuriates me. This woman has admitted to running her own son out of his hometown after attempting to ruin his relationship, using his father and sister as informants against him till he had to cut them off too, and paying a stranger to stalk him. This poor guy has had his life absolutely torn apart by this bitter hag of a mother. He had to orphan himself from his entire family when he was barely 20 years old to protect himself from this utter nutcase, and she has the fucking audacity to say "God forbid I..." as if she has experienced any consequences for any of her own truly unhinged behaviour.

I don't care if she's old, if I see this twat, it's on sight.

The "Poor me" angle she's trying to run at this with is pretty pathetic and really transparent. I'm not sure who beleives she's an innocent victim, but this "I text him every day and they bounce because I've been blocked for seven years" shtick is boring and over dramatic. Especially when even the fact that the girl has a law degree is enough to provoke some weird, barely related attempt at a smug remark. She's clearly not too sad to be salty. When she's not coming off whiney and sad she's just coming across as bitter and jealous. It's not a good look and it's clearly not worked for her up till now, but she's committed to the bit and she's not gonna turn it around.

Her son is happy and she's just so mad about it.

Womp womp.