#fuck thats the funniest thing ever hold on

[al-luviec]

take my notes app away from me

[seattlesellie]

no bc why does ellie give off older brother’s sorta meanish friend who’s always teasing you ….

mean older brother’s friend ellie hc’s ☁️

cw: smut, mentions of alcohol

♡ mean!bbf ellie who’s introduction to you isn’t a nice or comfortable one. it's rather... bizarre. you had just finished showering, your hair still fully wet, tiny droplets of water flowing down your body. you leave the bathroom in a tiny towel, mindless as ever because this is your house, and as soon as you open the door, she just stands there. she was literally about to walk in, probably to pee or something, and she fucking startles you because who the hell is this absolute converse wearing, messy auburn haired stranger standing in front of your door?!

your parents may have told you something about your brother coming home from college for the holidays… perhaps with a certain girl this time, and you were just happy he finally got a girlfriend, or something. when you see her… yeah. thats definitely not his girlfriend. she’s so… i mean, you get it. she doesn’t look like someone who’d be into his type.

you huff out a small squeal when you’re startled by the absolute stranger, and she seems to be completely unbothered, although… her eyes wander down for a second before she catches your gaze. “who the fuck are you?” you gasp, and automatically hold the towel with a tighter grip to your body, since it almost fell off completely when you lifted your hands up out of pure panic. “ellie” she says with a smirk. she brings her hand forward to form a handshake, clearly aware that if you lifted your hand up, the towel will completely fall down. when you hold the fabric even tighter, she sighs, and places her hand back in her pocket. “are you my brother’s girlfriend?” you question, and she looks at you like you’re so fucking dumb. “do i look… like your brothers girlfriend?”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who decides that fucking with you is the funniest thing on earth, since ticking you off and making you go completely mad seems to be too easy, and one day when you have a simple dinner, just you, ellie and your brother— (since your parents maybe… went off to visit some relatives for the night) they have a conversation and she seems to completely ignore you, and he obviously does too. when they talk about something apparently “hilarious” that happened in college, a dumb thing a guy said during a lecture— as you play with your fork, squishing the food down on the plate, you decide to butt in on the conversation.

“something exactly like that happened in one of my cla—“ you quip, and ellie fully side eyes you and huffs under her breath. when she sees you stutter on your words since that look was so mean, she mocks you completely.

“my class— i mean, one t—ti”

“t—t t- what… you can’t talk?” she smirks, and tilts her head to the side. then, ellie immediately looks over to your brother and sighs. “didn’t know your sister had a stuttering problem”.

he giggles like an idiot and they immediately move on to a different topic, leaving you completely embarrassed, hot in the face and incredibly famished. you can't even eat— what if she says you chew funny.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays the stupidest, meanest pranks on you. they vary from hiding on the other side of the door and jumping on you with a terrifying scream, to replacing the sugar with salt in your tea like a literal 12 year old. ellie cant help but grow obsessed with how loud you yell and how your eyes pop out of your head, stomping your feet on the floor whenever you’re pissed at her. something about the way you snicker and tell her that you wish she returned to her stupid college already, the way you add an “ellieuhhhh” to the end of every sentence really just satisfies her deeply, for some reason she doesn’t… fully get yet.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays soccer with your brother in the yard, all sweaty with her bangs sticking to her forehead, dressed in basketball shorts and a stupidly tight tank top that make her stupidly tight abs pop out because she’s so stupidly damp with sweat, and you’re staring out of the window of your room like a creep. you’d usually rather not join because she has made it very clear that she doesn’t want to be around you unless you’re squirming or growing absolutely embarrassed. unfortunately, you’re so freaking bored and the weather outside truly is so nice— barely cloudy, the grass shining green and— fuck it. you pace downstairs, and stand stupidly still in the yard for a moment, before you gain the courage to ask if you can join. ellie obviously doesn’t want you on her team (she’d much rather humiliate you by taking the ball out of your feet at any given chance) so your brother has to take you in. you skip around the living room to put on some sneakers and when you join— it’s on. clearly, it’s not a proper game of soccer with only three players, but it’s their own version of it, and their own version is incredibly aggressive. all they do is yell at each other and elbow one another in order to keep away from the ball, and once you magically have it intertwined between your legs (your brother had finally passed it to you after literally begging for ten whole minutes) ellie makes sure to run as fast as she can, kick it violently out of your legs (that is definitely a foul, red card for ellie) and swiftly nudge you so that you fall on the grass with your nose bumping into it’s softness. she moves to stand right above you, towering over your body completely, and she's laughing her lungs out. she moves to the side to cover the sun from glowing directly in your eyes, just to force you to look into her and see how happy she is to humiliate you again. you’re absolutely pissed now, so you push your legs forward and kick her right back— she falls over you, her chest right on top of yours.

she’s heaving and panting, and you swear you could almost taste the sweat slowly leaking on her forehead. the world literally stops.

“you’re so fucking dumb” she snickers, and lifts herself off of you.

you go into your room to punch a pillow. shes so fucking annoying.

she goes into her room to do something… different. you’re so fucking annoying.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who always rolls her eyes when she sees you come closer, and constantly gives your brother those certain looks, that she clearly makes to piss you off and watch that little pout form on your lips. one morning, you walk over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and ellie’s in her pajamas (for some reason, you really can’t stop looking at her arms, since she’s only wearing a wife beater and some low hanging sweats). when you greet her with a chipper good morning, she mumbles a lazy “morning” back, and when you lift yourself up on your toes to grab your favorite mug, she sees your shorts ride up a bit and her breath completely cages in her throat. she considers coming over and helping you, but hearing your sweet, breathy little huffs is so much nicer.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who finds you extremely attractive, and wishes you stopped walking around the house in tiny outfits (she wouldn’t be too far off if she called them literal napkins) because you’re making it very hard to concentrate when she works on a project with your brother in the living room and you just happen to walk by, carrying a tray of freshly squeezed lemonade and offer it to them. and she hates how fucking kind you remain even though shes so mean, so she gets even meaner and tells you that the lemonade tastes bad. she spits it out inside the glass, and the way you squint your eyebrows and ask her if she wants you to make her a new one literally tugs at her heartstrings. she tells you; “s’fine, you shouldn’t be near a kitchen, like— ever again. tastes awful” and when you take the glass out of her hand and walk off without even commenting anything back, she huffs a silent “shit” under her breath and closes her eyes for a second.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who one day has a super… weird dream about you. you lounged inside a lively kitchen— but it wasn’t the one she grew familiar with. it was mostly filled with mahogany furniture, an aqua green stove and a peach colored carpet. you were baking something, and it smelled like maple and cherry and vanilla and peach cobbler, it smelled messy and like an explosion of sweetness but god, she felt the hunger in her sleep. you stood there in a little apron, and just when you shut the stove’s lid up, she hugged you from behind. she smelled your neck, and wrapped her arms around you. “smells nice, babe” she whispered. you turned around and smiled at her so big, and just as you closed your eyes and parted your lips— she woke up.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who can’t. stop. thinking. about that freaking dream. she wakes up and she feels parched, and so fucking confused. she bumps her palm against her forehead and decides she needs a tall, refreshing glass of water before she tries to slumber again, because god knows she wont be able to. she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and gets so startled when she sees your shadow standing over the stove, its just like that dream but you're not baking, there's just a bowl of cereal in your hands and random music silently coming out of your phone. when she jumps— you jump too. and you drop the whole entire bowl and the milk is now running all over your top.

“jesus fucking christ!” you gasp, and when you see that it’s ellie, her face all puffy from sleep, your heart thuds in your chest. you’ve never been… completely alone with her, not ever since you met her outside of the shower for the first time, anyways.

“why are you standing like a creep in the kitchen in the middle of the night?!” she questions.

“i was… eating”

“at 3am?”

“yes and now i guess i wont be eating anymore since you made me— drop! the entire bowl!”

for some reason, she tells you that she’s sorry. maybe it’s that fucking dream—

she hastily grabs some paper towels and helps you wipe. she’s awkwardly rubbing all over the material and shes being extremely stupid because clearly you can just change your top, this is your house after all, and your closet is right there, but she doesn’t seem to be able to stop wiping and whispering that she’s sorry and she’s tugging at your top and it… makes her flustered so she fucking stops, and throws the paper towel on the counter.

“clean yourself up— you’re the weirdo awake at 3am”

(she was right where you stood yesterday, eating some cheese puffs on the floor while watching a gaming stream but she obviously wont mention that)

♡ mean!bbf ellie who instead of surrendering to her feelings that are obviously starting to creep up, decides to grow even meaner. it’s not just random comments and stupid pranks anymore, it’s quite literally pure evilness. when she watches a film with your brother, a bowl of popcorn in her hands and some fuzzy socks, cuddled up inside a thin blanket on the couch, you decide to make an appearance. you, bored out of your mind, decided to to join in on the fun. usually, ellie had no problem if you just lounged in the living room while they watched television or played video games, because you would quite literally be completely mute and not bother them at all, untill ellie made a joke (“that dude’s head looks like the titanic’s fucking iceberg”) that you couldn’t help but laugh at. when you laughed, so hard you practically wheezed, it kind of made her feel soft and icky and she wanted to slap it out of her. today, when she saw you slide into the living room from the corner of her eye, she deadpanned completely.

“no— no, we’re not watching this with you” she snickered, and her tone was so serious and it didn’t even carry a glimmer of teasing, it was purely just mean.

you scrunch your eyebrows, and huff a quiet “what? why?”

“because you’re fucking annoying and we don’t want you around”

you went pure silent, just staring at the floor.

“why are you still standing there? go” she waved her hand, as if she was kicking out a small, pesky little animal.

you really weren’t a crybaby, but you truly didn’t deserve this. for some reason, a lump formed down your throat, and your eyes glistened. you climbed up to your room and silently sniffled.

even your brother thought she was being too mean now.

“that was kinda… fucked up”

ellie brushed her tongue on the side of her mouth, and clenched her jaw. she knows.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who notices you appear less and less around the house. mean bbf ellie, who really isn’t a bad person, she isn’t even that fucking mean, she just can’t handle her feelings and masks them completely untill you absolutely hate her guts. after that night— the night where she kicked you off to your room, you don’t chipper a good morning. you enter the kitchen, groggy and quiet, make a drink and disappear to your room with the cup in your hand. you don’t make lemonade anymore, and you don’t even laugh when she makes a stupid joke. mean ellie who misses your laugh, and tries so hard to hear it again, but fails miserably.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who loses it completely when you decide to go out to a party one night. you’re so quiet it feels almost as if you’re sneaking out, but you truly aren’t. you’re just scared she’ll make a mean comment on your dress or tell you that you look stupid with your makeup done like that.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who stares you down completely, and shamelessly checks you out when you twist the doorknob in order to leave the house.

“wh… where are you going?” she questions, and it’s so hard to keep it cool when you look so good and your thighs are on full display with your ass almost popping out of your dress. it makes her gulp because she fucking knows it’s not for her. you’re gonna go out and you’ll have people gawking over you and it drives her crazy.

“party” you simply mutter.

“dressed like that?” she clearly runs her eyes all over your body.

she's going to say something mean again. you just know it.

“really don’t have the time or the energy for your comments right now, ellie”

she wishes you added that cute uuuh, at the end of her name. you don’t.

“you look… stay safe—“

“i look what, ellie?”

“nice. y’look nice”

you shut the door. she just complimented you. that was a first.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who waits for you to come back from the party because she’s worried. she doesn’t admit it to herself, and excuses it by thinking she just can’t fall asleep because the winds too loud or the room’s too hot, so she just lays awake, waiting to hear your footsteps and your room’s door close shut— but you don’t. seem. to come. home. she feels sick because what if something happened to you— and then she feels completely stupid because you’re an adult and you’ve probably been to numerous parties already, but she can’t help but feel it in her guts. what if something happened to you? what if you drank too much and god forbid— what if you went home with somebody? she falls into the mattress with a thud and stares at the ceiling for half an hour, just picturing you making out with someone and them grabbing your waist or your ass and now she feels like she’s about to punch the damn wall— and then she hears you. you’re humming a song, specifically— cash shit by megan thee stallion, and you sound obviously drunk. she can’t let you go to sleep like that.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who propels the door open, to see you sliding down the wall, smelling like alcohol and sweet perfume and she feels sickly but she needs to take care of you, so she grabs you by the waist, guide you through the corridor, opens the door to your room and puts you down on your bed. she coo’s at you to stay quiet and calm for her.

“yeaupp m’in my baggg but im in his too…” you blabber, and burst out laughing.

“okay— okay, you good? you got contacts you need to remove? if you’re gonna throw up, i’ll get a bucket” she whispers, as she watches you swing back and forth. you look so pretty it’s incredible hard for her to be calm.

“some new sh—shoes… blah… mwahhhhh” you pull out your tongue and pucker your lips. you look incredibly silly and she swallows a giggle.

“you’re wasted, aren’t you?” now she's just caressing your face. why does she feel like she's going to faint?

“k— not t’wasted… you’re wasted… you’re wasted and pp—pretty” you mumble.

“huh?” thank god you’re drunk, because shes full on blushing.

“pretty pretty els…. s’pretty and so evil and m—mean and pretty…. like a millions pretty but—b’millions evil… so e—evil”

she decides to just shut the fuck up. keep going.

“i k—kissed somebody”

and now she’s the one who feels like she’s gonna puke.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who decides to completely give you the silent treatment. you didn’t even do anything, but god it feels like she hates you now.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who confronts you about that stupid kiss and asks you who the fuck dared to kiss a drunk girl, and you look so panicked and afraid, and it hurts when she tells you she’s gonna let your brother know and that he’s gonna kick their ass and you’re gonna be done for.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who fully breaks one day. it’s the last week of her and your brothers visit, and you haven’t talked to her for three whole days. she feels it inside of her chest, and every time you come near, it becomes harder and harder not to push you against the counter and kiss the hell out of your lips. it’s hard to stop staring and it’s hard to keep her distance so she confronts you.

“you know you told me i’m pretty, right? before you threw up on the fucking bed?”

your eyes pop out of your head. you feel absolutely embarrassed. no you didn’t.

“i did not— what? what the hell is the matter with you?” you huff, and back away.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who comes closer and closer the more you back away, because it’s becoming incredibly difficult to keep that distance apart, so she makes sure you can feel her breath on your lips and makes sure it makes you shiver— before she mutters a loud “fuck it” and takes your lips between her’s.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who kisses you so hard, it truly feels like you've never been kissed before. nothing could ever compare. when she takes your lips between her's, and sucks on the bottom one, just to hear a sweet little breath leave your mouth, she grunts. it feels like everything she's ever felt was flowing out of her body and crashing onto yours. when she squeezes your waist, and pulls you in closer so her chest bumps into yours— she breaks the kiss to look at you. my god, you're panting, and flushed, and she can feel you shaking.

"i'm sorry" she mutters, and she truly isn't, but if you keep on shaking like that, she's gonna have to start running away.

"please— don't stop"

honestly, she wasn't planning on stopping.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who picks you up, and as your legs automatically intertwine with each other on her lower back, takes you to your room and bangs you up on the door.

“what— what are you doing?” you ask, and it’s completely interrupted when her lips land on yours again. she can’t do this anymore, she can’t keep playing with you because if you kiss another person again who isn’t her she swears she’s gonna run out and beat them up, or even worse— kill them completely, and she can’t help but moan against your lips because you’re so fucking cute when you let out those noises and she needs to touch you right now or she’ll die.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who need's to hear you add that little "uuuh" at the end of her name after you kiss her because she'd imagined it too many times.

"say my name like— fuck"

"say it like you fucking do when you're pissed at me— say it"

somehow, you immediately know what she means.

"ellieuuuh!"

she's never swallowed so hard in her life. she looks at you like she's famished, and she growls. when ellie kisses you again, it feels like you're going to crash down and die.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who eats you out like shes starved in your childhood bedroom. swirls her tongue and spits on your cunt and tells you to “keep fucking quiet” or else your brother will hear, and he’s right in the next room and she told him she just went to get something to eat, so she shoves your little panties right in your mouth and holds your stomach down on the bed with her two hands, parts your pussy lips so far apart they practically burn and she goes on and on till you cum on her face twice. “atta fucking girl just like that… just like that”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays with your clit in little circles, sits with your back pressed against her chest, and growls every time she sees feels hole clench around her. she tells you to be a good little whore for her and take her fingers before she gives you her strap, and you don’t even know why she has it with her because— is she fucking other girls?

♡ mean!bbf ellie who isn't fucking other girls— she just brought it because she... well, maybe she looked at your brother's facebook before coming over and she happened to stumble across a very, very pretty girl

♡ mean!bbf ellie who slaps your pussy hard every time you yell out her name— “you better keep fucking quiet or m’not letting you cum” and then shoves your panties even deeper inside of your mouth till you’re almost gagging, and only takes them out by replacing them with her cunt, and makes you eat her out completely controlled by the sway of her hips as she grinds herself down and god— she fucking needs it because getting off to you from knowing you were right next to her room truly wasn’t enough so she makes sure you make her feel good, and pats your cheeks every time your tongue swirls around her clit just right.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who straps you down on the bed, whispers short circuited “take it. take it. take it” every time it hits that one spot inside of your cunt, and makes you whisper in her ear to fuck you harder and faster because hearing your sweet little voice saying these obscenities is making her clit pump and brush on the bottom of her harness just right. “you gonna be my good fucking girl— make me fucking cum inside you? hmmph?”

she can’t help but… ask you,

“you want your brother to know how much of a fucking slut you are? letting his best f—fucking friend fuck you like this?” and all you can do is whine and hiccup broken sobs of “n—no ellie dont want him to know!”

“think you fucking do— if you keep on fucking screaming like this”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who… makes you cockwarm her strap while watching tv. this time, she doesn’t kick you out. with your brother’s eyes glued to the screen, watching E.T, it’s very easy to miss out on the bulge that’s hiding inside of ellie’s sweats. she signals you to come sit on her lap, and you just nod and whisper “no”, because what if he see’s— but she grabs your waist, slides you to sit right on her lap, pulls your pants and your panties down, and god— you’re already soaking just from being around her. she makes you roll your hips down her strap, separating your pussy lips apart and rub yourself all over it, guiding your motions with her hands. she can barely keep quiet herself because the way you whimper so softly and slap a hand on your mouth makes her lose it. she knows you wont be able to keep quiet if she bounced you up and down.

“stop being so loud” your brother snickers, and he almost… almost turns his head to the side. if he looked— he’d see his little sister sitting right on his best friend’s lap. that same best friend who kicked you out, same best friend who teased and mocked— what if he sees?

“shh… shh— just sit on it” she whispers in your ear and you shiver. you obey, and move your hips up. its almost too big, you have to swallow a screech when it slides inside of your hole. you want to bounce on it so bad, but your brothers still fucking awake. she almost snickers at how easily it went up inside, your slick completely swallowing it whole, but she stops herself. her could wake up at any given moment.

“keep on sitting on it” she grabs your thighs and digs her nails into them. “don’t move” and whenever you do—, eagerly attempting to disobey her, she pulls you down and grinds you deep on it, making sure you're caged inside. when she hears the quiet shores of your older brother sound asleep in the background, she starts fucking it into you deep. she thrusts her hips forward, and you don’t even have to move a muscle, you really did earn it after all.

"such a good fucking girl— have to make it up to you"

♡ mean!bbf ellie who sneaks little spanks, and grabs your tits whenever no ones looking, creeping up on you from behind and smelling your neck— just like she did in her dream. she kisses and kisses and almost doesn’t care if she gets caught— she has only three days left.

will you go away with her, or are you going to have to wait till next year’s visit? <3

[sectumsempraaa]

Being coworkers w/ the Slytherin boys (headcanons)

feat. Draco, Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, Lorenzo

this one’s for the working folks bc you KNOW these guys would make work so much more fun!! :)

Draco:

- extremely punctual

- judges you for how you write emails

- picks you up in his car before your shift every day

- has a kettle plugged in AT his desk for maximum tea drinking

- will often leave you a cup on your desk too without you asking for it

- writes 95% of paperwork by hand

- kisses ass to your boss but vents to you later about how much he hates them

- overdresses even on casual fridays

- takes his lunch break with you every day and has your meals delivered (doesnt even ask what you want, he’s just good at this)

- gets turned on when you sit on his desk and look down at him

Mattheo:

- consistently 5-10 minutes late but everyone’s just kinda used to it

- takes mass transportation bc he keeps failing his drivers test

- stops to get you both coffee before work (thats why he’s late!!)

- will respond to emails you’re too scared to answer

- similarly will pick up the phone when you don’t want to

- office pranks galore with this guy

- calls you from his desk (it’s next to yours) to ask you to meet him somewhere so y’all can makeout

- also calls you when he sees someone he KNOWS you hate trying to talk to you at your desk to get you out of it

- post-shift treat several times a week

- most likely to pleasure you from under your desk 🤭

Theo:

- gets distracted easily and falls behind on work

- is so quiet no one really even knows he’s there

- bribes the office manager into making you his secret santa

- has a private email thread between the two of you that goes on and on all day with complete nonsense and memes

- visits your cubicle and sits there for like an hour at a time

- holds your hand under the table during meetings

- “ugh can we go home now” “theo we haven’t even clocked in yet”

- hacks the system to change the schedule around so you always have the same shifts

- cooks your lunches at home and brings them to work for you

- 100% takes naps under his desk when you’re out sick and he’s alone/bored

Blaise:

- gets along with everyone

- often leads meetings and presentations bc everyone trusts him

- winks at you from across the office several times a day

- has everything in his desk from stain remover to first aid kit to microwaveable ramen

- checks each paycheck (and yours) to make sure y’all get paid RIGHT

- hugs you from behind your chair like 1000 times a day (ft. neck kisses)

- flies paper cranes into your cubicle with cheesey pick up lines

- knows how to get your fav snacks from the vending machine without paying

- will randomly do some of your tasks bc he’s so ahead on his

- LOVES a business trip and gets you two ALL the travel upgrades

Lorenzo:

- does not give a fuck about getting anything done

- but somehow is pretty much always caught up/in good standing

- does the bare minimum but makes up for it by being extremely charming

- faxes you (yes, faxes) memes when he is extra bored

- steals people’s things off their desk if he doesn’t like them

- never abides by the dress code

- lies to your boss to get you out of meetings and leave work early

- convinces you to call out with him so you can spend the day together

- has a keycard that opens every door in the building, don’t ask how he got it

- switches nametags/IDs with you and thinks its the funniest thing in the world

- headphones in 24/7

ALL of them love to say “if you ever leave i have to quit too. i can’t work here without you” and they MEAN it!!

[mari-the-bimbo]

What do you think about pumpkin carving with bodyguard!Megumi? I can picture reader making a mess with pumpkin guts, and Megumi secretly hates the mess but loves reader too much to ruin their fun.

Bodyguard Megumi: pumpkin carving

A/N: oof it’s been a while since I posted some Megumi content hope you enjoy! 💗

It didn’t take much convincing to make your sorcerer fiancé to join you for pumpkin carving, but that’s probably because he’s the biggest simp ever.

Megumi’s dark piercing eyes continuously flicker to your hand holding the knife, trying his best not to be overprotective but it’s second nature, so he fails easily. “Be careful with the knife y/n” he mutters.

You giggle when you turn your attention towards him only to find he’s just shamelessly staring at you now, which was something you were already used to though.

“I’m fine Megumi, stop being such a worry wart!”

“I’m not” Megumi states firmly, but it’s hard to believe that.

He turns his attention back to the pumpkin in front of him momentarily but he made no move to carve it, after all, he wasn’t interested in pumpkin carving, he was interested in you.

He silently turns his attention back to you, eyebrows furrowing when he’s realised the mess you’ve made with the pumpkin guts. “Stop making a mess you silly girl” he scolds half heartedly, pinching your cheek before the lovesick sorcerer cleans up your mess.

You open your mouth to retort but instead you decided to tease your lover just a little, makes things more fun right?

You grab some of the pumpkin guts and throw it towards him, the orange pulp landing on his pale hands. His head immediately turns towards you, shooting you an unimpressed glare with an eyebrow raised.

“Oi-“

“Whoopsie! Sorry gumi, just helping you clean the mess” you say with a cheeky smile which seemed a bit too mischievous to be innocent.

He’s frowning but it became a bit too hard to keep his resolve as he notices you bite your pretty plush lips to prevent yourself from laughing. God, you’re so fucking cute even when you’re being a gremlin.

“You think you’re so fucking funny don’t you?” he asks, tilting his head ever so slightly.

You gleam in pride at his words, “thats because I am the funniest gumi”, flipping your hair to add emphasis. His fingers impulsively reach out to play with the ends of your hair.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah” You say unable to fight off your smile.

Megumi flashes a smile back, before speaking “only thing funny about you is the pumpkin guts stuck to your chin”

Your eyes widen as your hands immediately fumble around your chin, trying to wipe off any excess. And in your hurry, you miss the handsome smirk on Megumi’s face as he watches you.

“Here let me help you” he offers.

But as his veiny hands grabs your chin, you gasp as he pushes it upwards and presses himself against your lips instead. You’re surprised but you kiss back until you both pull away for air.

“Gotcha”

“Perv” you huff.

He chuckles while he leans back and puts his hands back in his pocket. He hides half his face back in his jumper to hide his smile as usual.

“You liar, I never had anything stuck to my chin” you say with a pout, now leaning forward and pressing yourself on his muscular chest.

“You lie all the time” he retorts as his arms snake around your waist to help you into his lap.

“Not true! I only lie about my grades!” You admit, as you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders.

“Mhm sure” he says dryly as he feeds you some of the pumpkin pulp. Smiling at you as you munch on it like a chipmunk.

“Cutie” he mutters as he presses a kiss to the corner of your lips.

[hijackalx]

GALE SFW HEADCANONS:

finally we got our lover boy here. its not a secret that he like gets super easily attached. i kind of hate that they patched that out bcz it fit his character so much. but yeah in my mind its canon he gets attached suppperrr easily also kind of the type of guy to love bomb tav. not in the manipulative way tho like he genuinely thinks hes in love.

he gives everything he has in relationships too like tav IS his everything. he can be pretty clingy but thats just cuz he loves them so much ❤️ ok yandere vibes hold on. not really but imagine.

the type of dude to draw pictures of him and tav holding hands in his diary (they are not drawn good) also definitely talks to himself a lot, or maybe to his cat (sometimes abt tav)

hands down the funniest mf at camp like hes the type thats just naturally funny he doesnt even try to be. its hard to take him serious sometimes bcz of it😭😭 he gets mad af about it too. like his funnyness is a blight on his existence he just wants to be taken seriously. also feel like he has the worst luck too like fucked up things always happen to him and thats also hilarious LMAO constantly has the camp in stitches

he has bad spatial awareness so hes always triggering traps and tav gets so mad 😹😹😹

love language:

giving= words of affirmation and quality time

always wants to be with tav. also loves to compliment them but he does it in his corny ass wizard way lol like in the most extra way possible. he cant just say "ur eyes look beautiful today" hes got to say some shit like "ur viewing orbs are looking most ravishing this eventide". i bet he would write poetry abt tav but he wouldnt give it to them bcz hes lowkey embarrassed 😔 like insecure in his ability not embarrassed by the action itself. he just wants to do tav justice and he doesnt think he can.

receiving= quality time

as long as tav wants to be with him too hes happy. he worries abt being too clingy so sometimes he'll distance himself and if tav closes that distance on their own itll make him so happy. like thats the best thing ever to him. to have somebody that wants to be in his presence and listen to him ramble.

i feel like gale is similar in height to astarion so like 5'11/6' hes probably closer to 5'11. like that is the most gale height to me. also hes a little thicker with some muscle. hes def got a lil belly 🤭❤️ his pecs are rlly smthng too like thats where most of his muscle goes. those look heavy let me carry them for u king 🤲🏻😼

GALE NSFW HEADCANONS:

A FREAKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAN IS A FREAK. WHAT was that shit in the sky ?????? THE FUCK ??? like he is THE MOST kinky mf here he will do almost anything. ONLY with ppl hes comfortable with tho. otherwise hes vanilla af. i honestly feel like hes mostly submissive tho just cuz hes chill like that. equally gives and receives. like straight up tav is his BABY he will do ANYTHING for them. probably introduced to most of his kinks thru tav (and mystra....... unfortunately.....)

loves to give head. like dear god. will beg tav to let him for real. hes very good at it too

incorporates sooo much magic. will make fake!gale fuck tav so he can watch. will use hot and cold magic and all that. electricity. the thunder stuff or whatever its called. literally anything u can think of to spice it up. he has thought of it. will also do freaky shit like using magic to mess with tav in public if u know what i mean

doesnt have a high body count i lowkey feel like mystra was his first. and he hasnt smashed anybody since. until tav.

exhibitionist AND humiliation kink. so these work hand in hand bcz like i said he doesnt do kinky shit with ppl hes not comfortable with so doing it where strangers might see is ultimate humiliation for him. but also likes to humiliate tav with it too.

will say a lot of nasty shit. this i feel he doesnt go super overboard with but its nasty compared to how he usually is. mostly when hes begging.

im gonna say gale has a solid 5 on him. and hes got hair i feel like most of the companions do but it works rlly good on gale lol. like hes got a happy trail and everything 🤤 nice hairy armpits too so u know hes got that manly ass MUSKK 💦💦💦 anyway i think his pp is pretty straight. like a wand lol. its a pretty normal pp.

aftercare with gale is the best yo like he makes sure tav is taken care of first and then cleans up on his own unless tav offers which he usually tells them to rest lol. hes just so sweet.

[cosmiiqueer]

replaying mcsm!

i havent touched this game in about 3 years and now im going back through it because i have terrible terrible brainrot

ep 1

-i still had the opening narration memorized oh my god

-THE OLD MINECRAFT TEXTURES DISTRACTED ME SO MUCH absdfkhsh i kept being like :0 old cobblestone texture! when i was supposed to be making choices

-the original oots are all so goofy

-REUBEN, ,, ,, gently holds. baby. protect baby at all costs.

-petra and lukas and their whole thing still make me so insane

-the animation has some really nice little details that i don't remember ever paying attention to before, like jesse's wooden sword breaking in half before poofing. it's a nice blend of minecraft logic and irl logic i think.

-also girl i KNOW you have the materials for a stone sword! you cannot convince me that wooden sword is your best option

-i played mcsm on a tablet in ye olde days, and even though i have played it on a computer before, im not fucking good at it !!! kept almost missing or fully missing arrows and embarrassing myself lmao

-i forgot how unnecessarily STACKED the va cast is like. matt mercer how did you get here

-i love ivor i love ivor so much he is so dramatic

-"ashley johnson sounds like she's trying really hard to sound cool" -my partner. ohhhh he's right. she does.

-i don't actually ship jesstra (kind of over shipping in general) but jesse having a huge dumbass crush on petra is a headcanon i still enjoy. she's silly.

-yes i always play as fem jesse i simply cannot handle oswald's voice for long stretches of time

-I LOVE THE MUSIC SO MUCH, ,, I REALLY MISSED IT. it's so GOOD. i love how many characters and things have their distinct themes, i love how it sounds similar to minecraft music, i'm just literally obsessed with it. ep 1 alone doesn't really have tracks that i go specifically insane over (thats more in s2) but boy does it have some iconic ones. like look me in the eyes and tell me ivor's theme isn't iconic. you can't.

-like i forgot how melancholic the order's temple track is?? that one gave me the most intense 'im still fourteen playing this game for the first time' feeling that i really wasn't expecting

-who in the ocelots had the legit redstone knowledge to make a working rainbow beacon. which one. i need to know.

-truly love the moment of lukas being like "if you're cool with petra, you're cool with us :D" while the other three are standing behind him, VISIBLY not cool with you. peak comedy.

-axel and olivia are the funniest bitches here. some of the jokes fall pretty flat but they definitely have the most lines that do make me laugh

-lukas and axel are such highschool mean girls to each other. calm down.

-heading to Boomtown because i literally don't remember a thing about it lmao

-i still love this game a lot. i stopped hyperfixating on it around 2019-2020, and replaying it back in 2021 didn't rekindle the intense interest i used to have in it. but god, i missed it a lot. i think it's really fun to rediscover something you used to love so much and i'm looking forward to continuing when i have time

[amsgrey]

I judt found this draft/idea thing in my drafts from over two years ago (written before Little Sister Hugs) and i genuinely cracked up so much rereading it bc it would be really funny.

would anyone be interested in this?

Jay and hailey are busy with a case involving drug trafficking with military dudes or smth

you and will go out for dinner bc you get like n A+ in science or some shit and Will is all proud older brother

you get a call from Jay that the case is ramping up so he wont be home tonight and then ur like lit ill stay at wills i just gotta grab some stuff

you and will walk in and the house is like a mess and your like uh wtf

and will is like ok let me call jay or the cops or whatever

before he can he gets like smacked from behind like all those stupid movies

ur like o shit what the actual fuck

these big old dudes are in all black and holding like riffles bc intimidating and ur like :o

and ur standing in the kitchen so you do that really funny grab for the closest weapon and its like a pan that was waiting to dry or something entirely useless

theyre like yeah ok sure put it down u dimwit

u like stand over will being like feck off my brothers a cop

theyre like ha lol yeah we know we tryna find him where he at

ur like ha what i dont know? wouldn't have a clue

and theyre like ok then u come with us and ur like uh no sir

omg what if they chloroformed them that would be the funniest trope ever

jay is like workin the case being all undercover n shit and then he gets a call and its wills phone and hes like oh what did y/n do

will is like silent

jay is like yo whats up u alg

OR WHAT IF ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DID TO SAY WHERE THEY JUST SEND LIKE A SUPER FUCKING ANGSTY SHIT QUALITY VIDEO OF THEM LIKE BEATING WILL WHICH IS SUPER FUCKING NOT FUNNY BUT IS FUNNY TO IMAGINE THE UNO REVERSE FOR JAY

Jay immediately looses his mind and tries calling u like wheres will tf

obvi u dont answer and hes like this aint right

the team go to jays house and its all like torn apart but nothign like bad?

they call in the lab and the labs were like oh hey there's blood but they cleaned it? or smth

jay is spiralling and then they get anoter video of u? idk something else angsty

theyre like release our dude and give us back all the idk like guns and shit and voight is like ok well no way they let us do that

jay almost going cowboy cop

everyones like well this is great

you are like locked up by zipties bc criminals are stupid and you manage to like breakfree like a real mvp

u like find a gun or smth bc thats fun and free will

your all like well theres enough warehouses n creepy buildings in chicago for u to be anywhere so tf where we at

wills all leave me bc thats a funny trope and ur like shut the fuck up u dumbass

some military dude comes round the corner with his gun and sees u tryna walk with dead weight will and hes like? what are-

you shoot him bc badass bitch

he like fall down is all bloody and ur like o shit i just killed a man

will is like ya we gotta go ok like this shit serious fam

you walk around a corner and they all be sitting around in the big room and u and will are like oh hi guys

they all like point guns and ur like ah man we dead

but then!! intellegence is all out ur guns on the ground now! police things!

one of them like aims his gun but someone shoots his gUN bc i think thats the badassest thing ever and then he like has a bleeding hand and grabs u and knife to the throat thing bc trope central over here

no one has a clean shot so they all like omg dude let her go

do u get like seriously hurt? lowkey imagine like them dying and jay and will being like a mess ok thats way too dark but i like?

you either

die

get seriously maimed like idk loose a limb or smth idk

or ur unharmed and are like omg how am i not even bruised tf is this

depends on the level of angst idk

if anyone wants to ready this lmk i might actually write it

[emloafs]

first 8 min of ck s6 thoughts

SPOILERS BE WARNED welcome to my brain dump. pls enjoy.

already yawning at this baby plot sorry not sorry

YAYA MADE ROBBY LUNCH IM GOING TO SOB

whoever made anthony "block" daniel over a croissant needs to be excused that was very very cringe

BINARY BOYFRIENDS ARE HEREEEEEEE

i knew that the trailer was likely all from ep1 but the fact that so much of it is in the first 2 min is insane

tory and devon being besties!!!!!!!! didn't know i needed it

robby holding up his student folder is actually the cutest thing I've ever seen shut the FUCK UP someone hold me

the kenthony vibes are strong with this one....

the way that the camera pans around from Anthony to kenny is actually chefs kiss (ps I'm very excited to see kenny's growth this season)

amanda trimming a bonsai tree is something i didn't know could be so personal

daniel flat out saying no more karate wars! woohoo! no more silver and kreese! immediately tells me that things are going to be worse than ever ok awesome

WHY and i cannot emphasize this enough WHY are Miguel and robby both in the back seat of the van??????? i kept waiting for someone to be revealed in the passenger seat and then they just... never were... WHY IS JOHNNY UBERING THEM

kiaz content of robby wrapping miguels hand <3

LETS GO MIYAGI DO LETS GO HAWK AND DEMETRI TRAINING NEXT TO ANTHONY LETS GO NATE BURT CHRIS DEVON FRIENDSHIP

mitch and chris getting back together was so intimate and beautiful and the way chris looked at him alone and smiled made me believe they're in love - sweet moment but def a "let's wrap up that loose plot hole real quick!!!" too quick but they're background characters so i get it

OKAY Miguel and robby meddling with sam/tory is going to be INSANE IM SO EXCITED

oh lets get our girlfriends to be friends! and then it totally backfires because sam and tory fall in love and date each other (one last significant other switcharoo and then kiaz can get together too, done and done)

was waiting for johnny and daniel beef to happen again ("since when do i run shit by you?") but all we got was fond understanding like hmgoodpoint from johnny instead of picking a fight with daniel and honestly THATS GROWTH I LOVE THEM

OH SHIT BINARY BOYFRIENDS AGAIN

what a reveal of them opening the sliding doors like this is all i could ever ask for they look so good

"sensei" [demetri bows] "sensei" [demetri bows] "sensei" [demetri bows AGAIN] this was the funniest part of the whole thing

the thing they want to show the senseis before training is that they are back together and in love and the whole dojo needs to know (they already all knew)

eli moskowitz is my favorite character i hate to say it I'm so proud of him finding balance and being a baddie and a loser simultaneously he just loves karate and his boyfriend

now picturing eli and demetri staying up late brainstorming new dojo names that get more and more ridiculous (instant fic idea)

this stupid dojo name better be good cuz i genuinely don't care that much about it and they keep burying the lead like its the reveal of the century

i only care that demetri and eli came up with it and then had everyone vote on it

IM SO EXCITED FOR THURSDAY AHHHH

[seonghwa-potatos]

The bully’s a sub?

- soobin gif -

summary: What happens after a fight with your bully ends up leading you to have dinner with his parent.Your left alone with Soobin to get your guys’s act together , expecting to end up fighting once more you find something quite odd in his room, changing your opinion on him.

pairings: bully!sub!soobin x rough!dom!reader

warnings: anal play, creampie

<loading…>

Walking into class you prepared yourself for whatever was going to happen.Sitting down in your seat you begin to read a book, but then none other than Soobin takes it.”Y/N so what ya reading”he says holding it and laughing.”well it's not important” he says tossing it on the floor and putting his foot onto it.You get up “Soobin What the fuck is wrong with you”You ay feeling defeated.”Every damn day I have to deal with your bullshit and Im fucking tired of it.” you say clenching your fist. “So what?” he chuckles looking at his friends. You take the chance swinging your fist at him but you miss.He then grabs your arm “If your gonna try to fight me, number one tip is to swing straight…even my little brother knows that.” he smiles sarcastically

The only emotion you could feel was anger, as he tosses your arm down you grab your book on the floor.Tossing it at him as hard as you can at the back of his head.The class went silent.You take a step back, he turns running towards you, you never seen him this angry.He lunges at you and you both fall onto one another, but you flipped yourself on top, making sure you pinned his arms down with your thighs.”IM TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT”you say tears running down your face and he just looks up at you stopping his fighting to get you off of him.”pouring water onto me was so damn funny to you guys wasnt it” opening your eyes he looks at you as if he feels sorry, but you could care less.”Remeber I was gone for a week from school, It was because your bitch ass got me sick”you say hitting his chest.However you didnt realize that your pin on him, you were losing it. He flips you over “Stop being a bitch, crying over this, really?Are you really crying over something as little as this?” he says laughing.He looked crazy laughing like this was the funniest thing to him ever.

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING, GET UP… NOW” the Teacher says storming in.Soobin gets off of you and you swing your fist, punch him in the face as hard as you can.He just shoves you away from him.Wiping the blood off his lip.”OFFICE NOW” the teacher yells walking you both down.

Sitting in the office you both say nothing waiting for your parents to come get you.

30 mins later.

“Mom, you know I've told you for months about how he kept messing with me.” you say

“Y/N fighting won't solve any problems, I raised you better than this…but thats why were gonna fix this today” she says you questionly raise your eyebrows “Today?, How” you say

“We're having dinner with his family later,” she says, hopping into the car.

“Dinner?” you say concerningly.”No , mom he’s literally the devil's child…Dinner? You can't be serious” you say, looking at her as if she's crazy.

“Well you're gonna get dressed, we have to leave by 4:30”she says.Arriving home, You just wish you could lay in your bed and do nothing for the rest of the day.Eventually you went to sleep hoping your mom would just cancel.

“Wake up Y/N and get dressed.” she says as you're half awake and half asleep.”Huh?”

You say then you remember you have to have dinner with Soobin.”Mom please I really don't wanna go.''You say doing those bubbly crying eyes at her.”No you're going Y/N be dressed in 10 mins were leaving then”, she says closing the door.

Dragging yourself out of your room you plead with your mom one final time, but she says this is for the best as you both head out the door.

15 mins later you guys arrive at his house.Walking in you see Soobin with his bruised lip and laugh under your breath.He glares at you knowing he heard you. Once the table is set up you sit across from one another as well as the parents.As you guys eat Soobin’s dad says “We want you guys to stop this childish act,So me and Mrs Lyn (Your mom)will be leaving while you guys solve your guy’s problems” he says as if this was the solution. “Dad, are you really gonna leave me with her?”he says like a whining.you roll your eyes wanting to leave the room in an instant.”You guys are gonna act like your age,If come back and everythings a mess with you two, you won't have your phone,xbox,or television for a month.”(18) his dad says expressing how he wasn't lying.”Same goes for you Y/N “ your mom says as they both hid to the door.” Yall stay on your best behavior while we're gone.” your mom says closing the door behind them.

“Don't touch any of my shit, and stay out of my room” he says going to the bathroom.You wanted to put him in his place so you go upstairs and find his room,You just lay on his bed admiring his room.”He really thinks ima listen to him now” you chuckle to yourself getting up you look around and see his walk in closet.”Hmm he got some nice clothes i'll admit that.” you say looking around and then you see this purple looking thing hiding behind shoes.You grab it and it's a dildo.You hold in in shock.He likes to be fucked in the ass. Ima definitely use this against him you were thinking.You lay on the bed wondering how he got this big ass dildo up his ass.”I told you not to go in my room” he says yelling opening his door.His face goes pale and his face drops.”W-what are you doing touching my stuff”He says as if he’s embarrassed.He runs after you trying to grab it, but you wore heels your about his height so you stand up and he tries jumping and reaching but to no surprise he can't. “Please just give it to me.” he says with bright red cheeks and ears looking down. “Now why would I do that?” you laugh at him in his face.You put your finger onto his chest pushing him down onto the bed. “Y/N, i'm sorry for bullying you, I- I never meant to take it that far” he says you can tell he’s embarrassed but so what.”Strip” you say smiling, doing that sarcastic smile he does.”S-strip” he says panicking.”Why would I do that” he says looking everywhere but your eyes.”Well, you wouldn't want anyone to find out would you?” you say finally knowing you have something to black mail him with.He begins to strip only to his underwear he covers himself in his underwear.You sit in a chair facing him “That too”you say pointing. “Do you not understand the meaning of stripping?” you say almost getting out of your chair.He then removes his underwear. “Let me see,” you say teasingly, laughing.”S-see what” he says flustered more than ever. You move the chair forward, moving his hands out of the way.”This” you say as you laugh a little.”Wow it is pretty big” you say using the whipping stick out of your bag holding it up as if you were observing it. “Now can I get dressed?” he says, stepping back and covering himself once more.You look at him crossing your legs “I'm not done” you say looking him in his eyes.”What do you want from me?” he says with a bit of sass in his tone.

“Don't get sassy with me…Now you're gonna take this dildo and shove it up your ass in front of me” you say throwing the dildo at him.

“R-really are you serious” he says worrisomely.

“Do you want your friends to know what you do on your own time?”you say seriously without laughing.

He grabs puts a finger in his ass and tries preparing himself, but he cant reach so far it seems like. “C-can I grab m-my lube out of the closet.” he says

“Where is it” you say looking at how flustered he is.

“Top shelf to the side of the box right when you walk in.” he says looking away.

Grabbing the lube you come out and put some onto your finger.

“Y-you don't have t-too do it” he says talking fastly

“Shutup” you say, pushing him down and making his back arch.

You put one finger in and he groans trying to hold himself from moaning. “Let those sounds out for me” you say into his ear while putting two fingers in.

He lets out a soft moan he tried to keep from coming out.”So what other toys do you have in there” you say wondering how kinky this motherfucker is.He doesn't say anything except his muffled moans into the bed.You grip his hair moving his head up. “Answer me Soobin?”

You say sternly.He moans each word out saying ” C-cuffs, ot-ther dildos, an edging t-toy”he says.”Where are those toys?” you say putting 3 fingers in. His moans get louder “I-im not telling y-you”he says I then shove my fingers in and out at a paste. Leaning over him I take my shirt off, pressing my boobs onto his back.leaning towards his ears.You whisper “you really think you're gonna make demands” you chuckle.”You don't have options” you say grabbing his dildo and waving it in his face.Moving it to the back of him you put it in him and his moans come out full.You hear them as clear as day.”Im glad your my bitch now” you say pushing it further in as his back arches farther.”Y/N t-the toys are in t-that box” he says.He looks as if he can't hold no more. “You cum when I say you can come”You say looking into his eyes getting up from the bed and grabbing the material.You then place the cuffs on him moving his arms to be behind him.You then begin to take your pants off and underwear off slowly looking at him smirking.His dick starts to twitch.”I- I can't hold n-no more Y/N” he says moaning out.”Your gonna hold because I said so” you say sitting him up looking into his eyes.You put yourself on top of him pressing your folds along his cock.You feel his twitch bit by bit and you tease him more and more rubbing down his chest.”you want it” she says “Y-yes I want it, please”He says whines for it.You then pull yourself up and positioning yourself facing him going down onto his cock.He groans moaning your name, his moans begin to sound like pants.You then grab his head pushing the sweat off his hair.His adams apple bulges out as his head cocks backwards as his moans wont stop.”Soobin your such a naughty boy” you say pushing him onto the bed and going up and down faster.He lets out a moan as if he cant take it anymore “cum in me “ you say and you feel his cum ejaculate all inside you eventually making you both sticky as you keep going.you push your boobs into his face and suffocating him with the smell of you as well. “ You're such a good boy Soobin, now if you could act like this from now on we won't have any problems will we?” you say whispering into his ear.”No, ma’am” he says heavily out of breath.

[stanheightis]

ok im done yellowjackets and i have a LOT of thoughts! (MAJOR YELLOWJACKETS SEASON 1&2 SPOILERS!!!!)

- why do yall hate travis sm?? like i KNOW he said some shit in s1 that was unfavourable, but hes not THAT BAD??? had me thinking he was gonna be evil NO!! hes a CHILD!!! on top of this, why is travnat like shunned in this fandom, i dont think its THAT bad, but im not their biggest fan

- i dont get the hype over lottienat.. 😓 i think its js cause i dont really like lottie that much and i LOVE nat like shes so me but i dont get it truly (i take it back lfmao, lottie is NAWTT my gal)

- JACKIE. FUCKING. TAYLOR. i love you, you died too soon queen rip ✊ jackieshauna u will always be famous

- I WILL BE A D1 SHAUNA DEFENDER IDCCC when i watched the first episode like last year i didnt rly like her WHAT WAS I DOING i love u shauna shipman u deserve BETTER.

- taivan… my beloveds taivan… you are too beautiful for this i love you so much taivan. doomed yuri at its finest

- i saw someone said travnat is just straightified toxic yuri and i cant unsee that lmfao

- do people hate callie??? if so, i will be her BIGGEST FAN IDCCCC im that entire families n1 defender ok like they deserve betterrrrr omfggggd like callie is just a teen!! shes a KID!!! she wanted to HELP!!!

- if this show ends up being a supernatural type show i might deadass drop it, like i think it would be SO much more interesting if it was psychological instead of supernatural

- LOTTIELEE!!!! lottielee my babies they were just the first 2 to go insane and found solace in each other and laura lee haunts lottie!! i am a sucker for haunting other characters

- what ben did was justified i understand him cuz i KNOW their asses were gonna eat him next

- okay i might be wrong but if they had actually been MOVING in one direction since the start of the show, they wouldve had to have found civilization by that point. ik theyre deep in the canadian wilderness but people still live somewhere up there/people wouldve been up there during summertime, they were bound to find SOMEONE but NO!! they stayed in one spot and resorted to eating each other. i dont wanna say its their fault but..

- this one might be a little controversial and contrary to my previous posts, but i found the adult storyline more entertaining a few times as opposed to the kids one.

- misty.. i have such mixed feelings on her, i dont think a character has ever pissed me off while simultaneously rootinf for her sometimes ever wtf what an amazinf character

- i think jeff was unironically the funniest character in the show soley due to his line delivery

- shauna going from protecting javi to having to be the one to cut him up 🙁

- actually, i think ill forever hold a grudge against all them (besides nat and shauna) for WATCHING JAVI DIE??? man fuck the opps fr

- ok i see people sayinf that 8 people survived the wilderness but whos the last like ks the 8 ppl thing fake?? cuz ik shauna, nat, misty, tai, van, lottie and travis all survived then whos the 8th?? (hoping its ben🙏)

- we need more confirmed sapphics

- last thing i think but whats up w tai and the “other one”?? cuz i looked up if it was DID, and it was confirmed no (rightfully so, that would be a HORRIBLE stereotype) but im so confused on what it COULD be 😭

- OKAY ONE LAST THING the alive ones always talk about “what they did” in the wilderness, and how they dont want the secret out, but was it actually confirmed on what it was?? cuz it doesnt rly make sense if it IS the cannibalism because i dont think people are that stupid, and probably just ASSUME thats what happened. is it the cult maybe?? it could be HOW they went on deciding who would be eaten next maybe, cuz thats probably not how others would decide??

- speakinf on the choosing scenes, both had me STRESSINGGG

[superm4ks]

i'm dying for the part 2 of the essential max verstappen races i've watched all the first 10 (teenage crime era) and now i need the rest!!

✨💘 part 1 💘✨💎🧨🌠part 3🗽🎯

Brazil, 2019 In part 1 I said Max always stunted in the US, but like both Americas have a crush on him. People like to yap about his 'luck' and how 'lucky' he is. Max bends luck to his favor with a crowbar if he has to and this race proves that. also shout out to Hannah she’s BEEN the best CS in F1 fr 🌻

Austria, 2019 yes honey, that Austria, 2019. First Honda powered win for red bull and it came on the back of a cracked out prancing horse. Lestappen had angry sex in front of 200000 orange shirts and we just let them

70th year anniversary GP, 2020 Set the scene: for 2020 mercedes has put thee most competent driver of all time behind the wheel of a Boeing 707. They say it's a car but its an airplane ok. So every race is basically like 2 hour long british orgasm ASMR. This one tho, this should've been the beans and toast equivalent to Beyoncé at the superbowl. This should've been their Homecoming. They got 2 races in the calendar for the 1st time, it's F1's birthday, Lewis is driving a commercial airplane, it's happening during peak covid because their prime minister is insane, period. They had it all. Except, it was kinda warm out. And Max Verstappen noticed. Whole british empire vs one man's inability to not be the moment. Guess who won

Emilia Romagna, 2021 emilianos first victory of his maiden title year , and a race I remember watching and thinking. oh okay. so it’s time. With Max, even as a baby fan of both him and Lewis, I was always kinda like, waiting for the dog fight. And finally, lil bro has the car. Everything else was already in place. If u do watch my dumb list in order, which I recommend u do, u can actually c him get ready for 2021 over the years. His starts, and especially this one, become flawless, he has somehow learned how to manage his tires and dominate races in lesser machinery ((we dont talk about it enough. max has won races every single season he's driven in f1. every rbr car he's ever had, he got it home. that's a shooting star fr. thats a once in a lifetime.)) , he's patient, and still uncompromising, still unflinching. He's ready. We were not tho lmfaooo

Zandvoort, 2021 baby boys first home gp win. a lovely lil watch to feel warm and fuzzy inside and also just like watch him be the best driver on the grid at home

Russia, 2021 p20 to p2. Max in the rain, u already know wtf is going ONNN. A race for the GP girlies. SOOO so dope to watch a driver and an engineer orchestrate a comeback of that level in real time. A true privilege and I mean it wholeheartedly. I think GP and Max are soulmates like professionally. Also literally the funniest thing in the world when they're pulling into their lil positions after the race and my fav old man Lewis does a double take like that better not be who I think it is 😭

USA, 2021 listennn. it's 2021. I can't mention Max without mentioning Lewis. They took each other to realms of racing that F1 didnt even remember existed. When I tell u these bitches were 40 seconds ahead of everybody else. 40 seconds. In 2021. But yuh, the blond one set a purple sector with like 100 lap old tires to defend that win. 2021 was just very kind to the Circuit. Sexy sexy race

Jeddah, 2021 well if he's just some guy why does his pussy pop so severely. 😐 No F1 driver will ever serve cunt the way Max served cunt in Jeddah. Driver of the day for no reason other than pure fucking headassery. They said u can't move the culture by losing and that white man said hold on. That quali lap almost put a child in me. I am so sorry

((lil bonus from Zandvoort, 2022 like shut up imagine doing this to lewis hamiltondfmsnfksdlkjf))

Japan, 2022 2nd title win. And fittingly so, he would've lapped the whole field if the race had been completed in its full distance. 1 second faster than everybody else, still improving at the end. But its his recovery at the start that I wanna highlight here. On a wet track, awful conditions, mf sent it outside of t1 around sharl, not because he had to, not because his championship was on the line, but because he could. He went for it, no hesitation. Nobody else would go for a move like that. First, because they wouldnt be able to do it. Its an overtake that requires a control of the car that is left to the Hamiltons and Verstappens of this world. U put a wheel wrong and you’re done. Second, it just wasnt worth it. Rb was a rocket anyway, he would've gotten the lead back eventually. But that is not who Max is. Max refused to give up the lead for even a second. It has nothing to do with having a dominant car, its about racing. Max will always, always go racing. And I love him for it.

ty for reading 💝 I hope that u can return to these races again and again and find joy in watching our fav public enemy number one do his thing. He’s very good at it

[justcallmesolll]

My silly little top tens

yeen rambles #10

stealing this idea from the wonderful @whitestorm4prez bc originality is dead!!!!!!!!!!

anyways ive only read the first arc but most of the major shit was spoiled for me on the internet.

#10 Thrushpelt. i love him!! he's such a nice guy. i feel really bad for him for his one-sided love of Bluestar. she missed out frfr. but even when Bluestar makes it super clear she doesnt like him, does he hold a grudge? no. does he resent her? no. what does he do? become her friend instead. amazing man.

#9 Darkstripe. i think he's both the most hilarious and fucking balling my eyes out sad villain ever at the same time. dude just got fucked over most of his life. i mean i find him sily because every time he tries something, it fails horribly. but at the same time, he's got fucking no-one. he's alone. no friends, nothing. the one guy he trusted with his life turns out to not even care about him at all. i mean seeing him scramble to revive what little there is left of tigerstars plan, seeing everyone leave him, him realising that nobody was truly on his side. his last moments preaching for a dead man who never cared for him. his life being over like that. he never did anything meaningful, and he died like that. im gonna write more abt this a some point but yea!!

#8 Tallstar. his character arc is one of the most heartwarming things ever. yes, he was a shitty leader, but do ya know what? he grew as a person. he changed and made himself better. i also think him and Jake r cute and i LOVE the headcannon that he thought fireheart was jake coming to save him and his clan.

#7 Bluestar. RIGHT OK. i know i say i hate her but by god how can i not like her at the same time???? i mean all her life was just horrible shit. and she stuck through it. i know she was a real bitch coming towards the end of her life, but she stayed, stone faced and understanding to most cats around her. tigerclaw was just the straw that broke the camel's back. but most of her life she was so awesome.

#6 Cloudtail. i think hes such a silly guy!!! he's a big hot-headed atheist!!! silly guy. him and brightheart are so cute together. and yea thats it literally hes just silly thats why i like him

#5 Longtail. I LOVE HIM SM OMGGG the fan service he gets is so good. but the most important thing is his character arc. from being a bully, but all round loyal cat, to desprately trying to prove his loyalty to firestar by any means possible. longtail thinks that firestar sees him as disloyal, but firestar proves him wrong, asking him to come on the journey with him the relationship between them is so nice to see.

#4 Greystripe. what a guy. hes amazing. he puts up with firheart way more than he should have to. i mean fire is a straight up dick to him alot of the time and he sticks with him like a loyal friend. i love him hehehe

#3 Ashfur. if u cant tell already, i like villains. i like Ashfur alot actually. cant help feeling bad for him. mans had a rough time. grew up without a mother, was practically ignored by his mentor, when he finally found someone who gave him a little attention who does undeniably treat him like her mate, she just turns around and goes "yeah no lol i was just w u to make brambleclaw jealous lmao." he was plunked right on his head and left alone with no-one to care about him. the only person who slightly cared about him was his sister, and she was too caught up in her own shit to help. its the sticky feeling you have knowing that if he were just cared for right, he could have turned out just fine. instead, he was neglected and left to become what he did.

#2 Hawkfrost. i love the fan service hawk gets honestly. im a huge fan of the artwork he gets. hes cool. i like the idea of him feeling the need to prove himself to his father. but yea hes just cool thats why i like him tbh.

#1 to absolutely no-ones surprise, my #1 fave warriors character, is SOL. hes so silly. but no fr, hes the funniest fucking villain ever. he sucks ass at being a fucking warrior and he comes accross the clans and is just like "yea yk what im gonna fuck with em." he literally gaslight gatekeep girlbosses all 4 of the clans and he actually gets away with it. i also just like his whole asthetic, and THE FUCKING FAN SERICE HE GETS???? HOLY SHIT ITS SO COOL. i swear you cant make Sol fanart look bad bc hes just so fuckin cool. silly little guy!!

[safetyobstacles]

Parte dois of my giant post to hold all my reactions as i watch Desconjuração because my original post somehow got MASSIVE

so spoilers under the cut starting on ep 9 BBBB)))))

parte uno

update from episode 11 this post is also massive help

you know that song "our house in the middle of our street" thats what this half of desconjuração is like but its just "our house" over and over and over and

WHAT THE HELL WHY WHY WHY WHY

i am sad about liz but its okay im fine its im so sad im rotting im dust my bones have turned to acid and liquid and theres no putting me back together its okay at least i still have arthur and kaiser and erin and joui and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 9 im going to its 130 am and i have work in the morning but i actually cant sleep until i know what happens to Ivete

cellbit got a haircut for christmas

the void room looks so cool ????????? joui doesnt get a line sus

ABSOLUTE COMEDY GOLD THIAGO AND BEA that was the funniest shit ever "careful asking questions" "GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS??" KKKKKKK i had to pause to breathe if ivete dies because of this at least it was really fucking funny

??????????????????????????????????????????????? i have trust issues is this even real

off topic but ivete, kaiser, and arthur all living together is actually the cutest thing ever i want to crush them like an orange to make juice

joui why are you being so vague over this phone call sus sus sus sus

cellbit says the word photos and i wanna throw him out a window leave kaisers photos aloooooooooooonnnnnneneeeeeee oh nvm the photos are normal :)

joui looking good with his 26 hp 69 sanity :)) erin slowly going crazy with her 13 sanity :))))))) dante is just kinda homeless rn isnt he

ok i feel like this is probably real enough that i can go to sleep without worrying

i think my favourite ordem song is in the second half of this season but that also doesn't bode well for the team...

tristan FUMBLES with the pool question

joui wasnt in the spooky room joui wont hug tristan.............. sus

im so glad everyone else thinks that bea asking for suggestions was funny as fuck dude i was in tears over it

LOOOOL dude i couldnt figure out why Mia was so familiar shes in the GAME her and Lupi i cant believe i didnt recognize her at first its okay ivete i also cant do math in my head

'yeah she fought the god of death thats why shes old' this is so awkward for fernando specifically

why is erin's grandma an elite hacker i think we should open the possible ransomware for fun good thing erin passed her sanity test wtf kaiser's apartment is haunted his computer is haunted his face is fucked up one of his friends just died someone go buy him some gum erin i think your grandma might have joined a cult

kaiserrrrrr he cares so much about his people, giving ivete money to find a new place for now agatha really grows on you shes just a little guy with deadly tendencies and fun hobbies

joui vs modern technology is such a good bit

kaiser about to dislocate his knee all over again door strong

'tem dois pufes' WHAT A GOOD WORD PUFES I LOVE THAT INCREDIBLE suspicious note in the haunted wine cabinet kaiser with the haunted cigarettes and the haunted weed idk which team is more cursed team 2 has a cellbit npc but team 1 has the guys that are seeing phantom eyeballs everywhere

quatro pessoas..... fofoca..... bro arnaldo fritz got around EVERYWHERE are we sure thiago is his only kid the plumbing might need some work wow thats actually like my worst nightmare whats happening to kaiser erin with 13 sanity about to start her singing career

water being used as a horror element makes this 10 times harder to get through for me just the idea of it freaks me out lolll enigma of the printer they're never going to get this file printed strong feeling that tristan is going to get mangled in the haunted house

if i was cellbit and all my players were scattered around the house trying to do 7 different things all at once i would just cry

dante's lost, tristan is trying to set up erin and joui, arthur and fernando are arguing over a printer, kaiser is pocketing a laptop, bea is trying to advance the plot, joui is panicking over groups of 4

kaiser dont go to the bathroom the water is trying to drown you CAN WE LEAVE THJE HAUNTED HOUSE why all these houses fucked up kaiser no more houses for you thats horrible thats horrible thats horrible why do you hate photography cellbit

tristan dont look out tristan stay hiding tristan shut the fuck up the evil monster is in the hALLWAY oh nevermind oh nevermind never mind oh shit oh FUCK DAMN DAMN DAMN BRO GOT OPENED LIKE A CAN OF TUNA

EP 10 theres no way this can go worse than the Virgulino house fight

this season's opening is so good last season's was as well i love good opening sequences DAMN i just watched osnf opening again and now im sad once more i watched it 4 more times i am in AGONY

THE TRISTAN CORPSE erin with 18 sanity doing better nevermind fucking hell maybe we get erin out of here bea runs TOWARDS the corpse thats crazy hello luciano this is really awkward for you to show up right now

go downstairs go downstairs go downstairs go downstairs leave the house leave the house leave the house guys joui has the right idea get the hell out

would be crazy to be one of the neighbours looking out the window right now ERINNNNNNN its ok its ok joui about to beat up dante not the van cellbit looks sus as fuck i think they should go visit the neighbours all the blood might make it a bit awkward tho

so glad i can read portuguese so this notebook could make me sad before Bea even started reading it who's letting their kid answer the door when you live across from a haunted house

little tiny Arthur terrorizing these kids he doesnt mean it puppy fernando probably would have been the better person to talk to the neighbours kaiser repeating their names so he doesnt forget like he did in the house im gonna break something

'its us three forever' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im going to deastroy ecveryhting rgresrebhvaljkvbfdsahlvnfakdv

ok but at least if we are going back in the house can we figure out whats up with the printer are we suuuuure the laptop doesnt have a charger is there a ladder that we can use, have kaiser or arthur climb up look through a window, see if they can see the spider woman

the plan is dont die IM SURE THEY WILL ALL BE OKAY bea i think if you go with you die maybe the spider woman is turning tristan's body into a puppet and shes gonna start a puppet show

im so glad we're going in the house at night im so glad theres a red light in the haunted house at night im so glad this is a group of 4 Joui got me paranoid PICTURE DEVELOPMENT ROOM thats not very scary nevermind kaiser get away from the sink its gonna try to suck you again is that bastet ive seen his doki doki stream

i was just gonna comment on how cellbit suddenly sat up straight but he just became grandma again bro erin has 8 sanity one of her best friends just died in front of her she needs to go home ooog idk if we go upstairs ooooggggrgrgbrehgrdf joui idk if you go in front ur kinda freaking out

i hate this house haunted wardrobe about to eat dante the haunted eyeball is contagious ok what do we all have in common that the eyeball is haunting them ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that i can think of the odds of dante putting that number in his phone thats crazy has anyone thought about looking up at the ceiling while they walk

ok now open the door again thats how the eyes work they disappear after you see them ok nvm stop trying to open the door shut the door shut the door KICK THE DOOR???? EXTREMO??? joui that room is hella haunted "hehe nao sabe" wheres kian, kian sabe

i would like to ask again has anyone considered looking up at the ceiling this entire time oh lol they actually looked up just now LAPTOP CHARGER POG who the hell is moving a whole stove upstairs if it broke just put it outside joui is afraid of the upstairs stove

i feel like whatever monster is in this house isnt resposible for kaiser's memory problems/photo problems because his photos got messed up all the way back at Liz's apartment, and the dripping sound was happening before that or maybe its just a part of it since joui and dante have seen the eyesballs now too but why does ivete see it too ? ?? ? its linked specifically to kaiser maybe? maybe its like the flu and hes spreading it by coughing on everyone but then if it is linked to kaiser why him?? i dont remember anything especially specific happening to him at the end of osnf

if thats a photo of them right now ill die thats another horror trope i hate is when you get confirmation that something is indeed watching you please look out the window i have to know ok maybe it isnt

wait didnt that old lady call them an uber like 3 hours ago maybe they can print a key for one of the doors the most obvious crack in the wall everybody missed it for so long

alright buddy cellbit why do you keep calling out the time thats sus why is he counting it out by the minute stop it joui you loser that was cute maybe we burn it outside have you guys ever thought of that maybe we burn it outside so we arent trapped in the house

couldnt have tried burning it outside joui hiding in rocks like a crab okay kaiser runs INTO the house okAY kinda figured the door would do that ah fhfdvnfjdavbklfrdhaij; this music is awesome bea going to hide in a pillow fort idk if that ones gonna work bud wait yeah maybe we dont go in the van something vandalized it last time

"you still dont hear footsteps" ok but last time thats when tristan got plucked also the hell music is still playing so luciano HIIIDE JUST HIDE maybe break the window??? JKUST HIDE STOP FIGHTING THE WINDOW JUST HIDE NVM OK JUMP OUT THE WINDOW LEEEEEAVE NAAO no gkd danmnmuit LUIS BEAAAA shes hgonna shoot him on accident dante got the fuck out lmaooooo

LUCIANO LIVES??????? HE LIVEDDDDDDDDDDD leave the house leave the house leave the house leave the house theres still a half hour left this episode is stressing me out so bad its awesome

headless doll how nice how friendly how normal for a haunted house nvm now the doll has a head erin needs a vacation she has 8 sanity this fucking laptop is the actual boss of the house no way theres only 10 minutes left we're gonna be stuckj in this house for another episode mom pick me up i want to go home

burn the photo OUTSIDE wehats wrong with you guys THANK YOU JOUI NO KAISER wait so it wasnt reacting to the photos getting burned not the POV photo damn poor record guy AWESOME COFFINS GREAT ONE IS OPEN COOL

ep 11 shoutout to orpheu for living this long

rakin did something different with his hair

opening the unchained coffin is wild but you go dante dont let anyone stop you grabbing the floating tape is wild but you go bea dont let anyone stop you taking a picture of the monster is such a good idea you just have to not die in the process\

'kills victims after devouring their memories' KAISERRRRRR 'you guys are getting tired and hungry' ok well maybe if someone didnt fuck up their van they could go to a waffle house

CUP NOODLES POG why are you judging joui's cup noodle flavour listen just send arthur to the old lady's house sure he has one arm and a scarred face but hes arthur hes so small hes the kind of person old people love joui about to get sucked by the sink oh nevermind is this water even safe to drink tho theyre about to get parasites

joui and arthur sharing ramen :) so cute so small so cute how have non of these people eaten ramen before this isnt even real ramen its instant noodles this cooking break is kind of nice if you ignore the invisible spider stalking them no way we take a nap in the haunted house

this is supposed to be sad i can tell but im obsessed with memory loss kaiser going 'wow look at my totally normal faceless parents in this totally normal picture' and arthur just being 'no kaiser no no no'

really admire how we're all just chilling in the haunted house erin so quiet joui you are such a loser i love you NOO ERIN CAN ALSO HEAR THEM KKKKKKKK luciano gnawing on a brick of instant noodles is so real joui and erin gonna make my heart bones dissolve stop it ill die nobody smile at her she may have a heart attack

am i crazy is it not wild to be napping in the haunted house i feel crazy cellbit saying 'you feel strange' but its just luciano changing back had me so scared for half a second fernando this is so awkward you know that tristan is dead right

joui and arthur SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR "bom dia joui :)"

POLICE OPEN UP joui just let the cop in joui is incredibly charming nvm not that charming english jumpscare wheres thiago when you need him he could talk his way out of this uh oh

STOPPP the english is killing me also these cops are about to die horribly dante playing splinter cell ana about to get SNATCHED JUAREZ MOOOOVE dude that thing looks awesome her arms are so long AHHH HE MAKES IT OUT THE WINDOW THIS TIME we shoot the monster as its trying to hug joui okay 8 damage is fucked

kaiser is playing pokemon snap meanwhile the monster is trying to turn arthur's chest into a bread bowl luciano doing crazy damage this fight beaaaaaa bbbro its eating her DESASTRE??? nah wait doesnt this thing eat memories before it kills you dude come on bea barely has any HES ABOUT TO PUNCH THE BIRD ORPHEU IS GLOWING AGAINN dante stumbling through the window

erin is so real hiding this whole fight DAMN snapped orpheu like a pencil HE SAID THE THING ???????????? this thing hates knowledge specifically it has so much HEALTH IT CAN REACH OUT THE WINDOW JOUI FUCKIGN SLIPPPPPEDDDD kaiser so mad about being the photographer JOUI YOU'RE SO COOOOOL

cellbit you fucker i dont think tiny bird cpr is going to help YO????? erin chilling with 2 sanity open the door open it open it thats a whole book cellbit...........................

EP 12 whats on the laptop whats in that room can we go home yet

hi everybody welcome to the next episode here have some trauma

nobody smile at erin she's liable to just straight up kill herself if you arent careful 'im gonna tell bea i liked her writing :D' oh dear erin dont even worry about it joui, erin's just gonna talk to tristan's blood splatter

dante with the haircut can the paranormal fix my vision too i would become an occultist for that how is this door STILL stuck who in there not-dead-bea isnt gonna freak out is she thats gonna be reallyyyyyyy

theres no way i would be opening one of these coffins after all the shit we just went through what if theres another spider woman in there joui with a shotgun... does this count as grave robbing is kaiser going to be haunted by even more spirits

dont worry kaiser i have dyslexia and i cant read cursive either its cursed SHOOTING THE COFFIN IS HILARIOUS WHAAAT WHY IS THERE A BLOOD ZOMBIEWHERE THE FUCK DID IT COME FROM ARTHURRRRRRR THIS HOUSE FUCKING SUCKS

wait i forgot thats how blood zombies work cellbit you fucker dont you dare did dante just try to hockey check the zombie joui doing an epic move nevermind this is not very friendly bea :( guyssssss you cant just keep her like this forever will she even go back to being not angry not to be that guy but even if you do manage to chain her up shes probably just gonna mutilate herself to get to you guys

doorways and hallways are the most dangerous enemies in ordem theres too many people climbing all over each other trigger discipline luciano????????????? joui you're so cool

thIS IS SO AWKWARD i just dont know if erin is the best person to be breaking this to fernando erin i dont know if you should be transcending right now but maybe this will be good for you

kaiser and erin got that energy like their parents know each other and wont stop talking in the aisle of a grocery store wait i forgot kaiser has that doll what is it FOR escolha..... WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK JOUI AND ERIN ARE GONNA KISS fernando, erin is the resident grenade and shotgun user she cant stay in the back

the longer they stay in this house the more i can see the actual players going crazy i love that joui's perfect series of events goes back to liz being alive hes so right got rolled by a door

do you think cellbit made the puzzles in this house like "these are kind of difficult but i think they can do it :)" and then dante is just forgetting to finish reading the damned diary and we've been stuck in this house for 4 episodes erin has the right idea blow it up LOL wait luciano is actually gonna let her

ARTHURRRRRRR so small its okay arthur you're a good person RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA the arthur kaiser joui relationship making me violent

cellbit i dont like the face you made when fernando went to try and transcend sus DOLL ROOM wait i recognise this music wtf but the song im thinking of is from the calamidade soundtrack

EP 13 cory in the house theme song playing we're never leaving this house

o carente but its not really or maybe it is i dont actually know what the song is for in calamidade joui is not a fan of the doll room who is the eyeball who is the eyeball the drippy sound are the eyeballs the dolls god dammit kaiser at least arthur isnt looking joui vs a closet joui lost

is the eyeball related to death since its basically stealing time away from kaiser ill start fist fighting i still think the eyeball issue is connected specifically to kaiser and hes accidentally spreading it to other people but if thats true why can dante see them whats the connection GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH do they have to be told about it???? will lu and erin start seeing them now too

LIZ WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO JOUI WAAAAAAAAAAA

cellbit doesnt believe in the power of the safari search engine someone needs to take luciano's gun away hes shooting everything

did daniel hartmann also write this book so glad we're reading the haunted doll book in the haunted doll room in the haunted house no way theres a portuguese test erin and dante dont know portuguese cursive writing defeats yet another player

hey can we figure out who cut the wires in the van thats yet another haunted house mystery unsolved WASHING MACHINE POG NEVERMIND 4 dolls 4 people that can see the eyesballs ive got it we have to sacrifice joui, arthur, dante, and kaiser portuguese defeats yet another player

THIS HOUSE IS IMPOSSIBLE do they have to take photos why is kaiser filling up the bathtub is he gonna take a bath erin's lighting incense to try and make the house smell nicer dante was climbing boxes eu sou luciano what the hell are joui and dante even doing

voce é um gênio arthur!!!! eu sei :))) JOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII kaiser dont let arthur in that bathroom ??????? huge brain moment kaiser hang on hes about to fucking drown no way arthur is coming to rescue him alright nobody's allowed near water by themselves anymore what the fuck was that

whaAAAAAT thats crazy anyways jouixarthur?? also happy pride month FOUR DOLLS POGGGGGGGGG erin's not allowed to open any doors if she has to roll a sanity test she'll explode english jumpscare i can hear the drippinggggg

going off the name of the song from calamidade im going to assume all the ghost kids just want a hug and then we can leave no problem :) none of these people have ever talked to a kid in their lives wait the emo kid from across the street??? goth is a lifestyle joui

ah nao we're about to go kidnap the goth kid from across the street luciano might just be the absolute worst person to go and talk to some kid send arthur and joui they are by far the friendliest ?????????????? what do you mean luciano what do you MEAN erin also a good choice shes friendly happy pride month the chair moves incredible

please stop comparing your abs please im begging you stop please por favor pare por favor eu vou morrer guys you cant just bring this kid into the haunted house with luciano shirtless thank god

is this joui's first date this is horrific joui you're soooo this is going incredibly poorly already where are these kids parents cellbit playing three believable NPCs at once is so fun omg Hugo the little brother is MISSING??? joui dont threaten the 16 year old omg Hugo so small manga and snacks thats all he needs joui HATES teenagers joui is so cool to hugo

dante and luciano absolutely RUINING their cover guysssss you're scaring the 15 year olds DAMN JOUI absolutely rolled luciano amigos imaginarios.... bruxo...... hugo about to be kaiser and arthur's new lil bro dante HATES teenagers maybe tim is hiding in the washing machine actually maybe hes in the doll closet bro tim is 11??? they made it sound like hes 5

nevermind ive got it tim is hiding in the coffin tim better not be in the van theres a bea in it why the fudge is this kid in the van :(

im well aware that theres a monster in some season thats called the imaginary friend so tim is making me awfully nervous jesus christ do eduarda's parents know she can do this anyways horrible feeling one of these kids is gonna get possessed and they'll have to fight it

music picking up uh ohhhhh luciano listen i get it i also think they should kill not-dead-bea but this isnt a conversation you should be having with 4 kids in the room tim is one of you imaginary friends in the room with us

dont worry guys ive got it kian is currently possessing tim thats the solution ok the neighbour is kian ive got it for sure kian is everywhere hes in the sofa in the sink in your shoes kian is the neighbours dog ive got it all figured out INTERIOR DESIGN

if i read assombração forçada literally it definitely doesnt sound like a good thing wtf is a forced haunting kian sabe.... are we talking like they took all these live kids and made them possessed or something are there a bunch of kids buried under the house joui's having a brain blast alright ive got it all figured out for sure for real kian is being passed around to different kids bodies so that he never dies thats the solution KIAN IS OROCHIMARU LOLLLLL

dante i think you need to admit that some of your friends from the orphange are all fucked up now and have done really bad things

CATS KIAN IS A CAT IVE FIGURED IT OUT KIAN IS JENNIFER ooooooooooooooo arthurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr WAAAAAAAAA OW???? OUCHIES voce ta bem??? CLARO QUE NAO joui needs a rabies shot now cellbit if you hurt hugo im gonna be really upset ????????????????

daniel hartmann you motherfucker guiltiest man once alive and you deserve it what the hell was wrong with you

EP 14 MUITO BOA NOITE

erin with 21 sanity really doing well for herself the real boss of the house is the handwriting in these notes luciano and dante are getting rolled we still haven't unlocked that stupid laptop thats kinda awkward daniel has a whole fanbase waiting for a new book but he got chomped in half

someone get hugo away from the blood pile hes gonna start trying to steal some jennifer isnt like.... infecting them is she dante if the teenagers think you're cool then you are so cool cassiano probably wants your autograph wait so its not the cat ok ive got it the cat is obviously trying to protect them from the monster jennifer would never hurt anyone

kaiser is accidentally infecting everyone with the eyesballs somehow i know it we keep talking about time sus sus sus sus sus sus

ok ive read the last three paragraphs many many times and all ive gathered is this monster is following jennifer but it realised kaiser is super hot so now it wants to kiss him and also all of kaiser's friends and also ivete so the solution is kaiser and arthur take a nap while everyone hides and watches

ordem paranormal sleepover if theres only 16 cat eyes then that means one of the cats (JENNIFER) escaped idk about this one dante noooo arthur im sure jennifer isnt evil she just has an imaginary friend following her around and it wants to eat your face joui i dont know about this one 18 cat eyes jennifer is NOT haunted

joui quit being a bitch you're only carrying a drawer full of eyesballs what if we try to burn only 1 eyeball dante and kaiser defeat the singular eyeball joui burns the eyeballs this surely wont have a negative affect

o game cheiro LMAOO i cant stop thinking about the game cheiro now

i have the solution dante should sit ON TOP of the wardrobe then he can jump whatever comes out of it oh my god i thought cellbit was roleplaying someone muffled screaming but its arthur's phone ringing ivete :) wait doesnt ivete have the possibly haunted jennifer with her ARTHUR TELL IVETE TO TELL SOMEONE YOUR VAN IS FUCKED YOU GUYS ARE STRANDED

are we bringing ivete to the haunted house idk about this one guys joui wants his bow so bad WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAAT YOU SAW WHAT IVETE YOU SAw wghaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAT YOU SAW HUH WHAT THE FUCK GUYSSSSSS the girls are fighting again o dear kaiser fernando this is really a horrible time to show up

ivete is here i have anxiety do we really bring jennifer in the house tho do we really bring ivete in the house tho aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa joui i love you you're such a little loser just let him hold the shotgun for 5 minutes nobody in the call trusts cellbit with jennifer IM SO WORRIED listen if i have to pick between ivete and jennifer i pick ivete every time please dont murder her cellbit

we're at the point where they're just threatening cellbit this is like the absolute worst thing i could be watching at 3:30 right before bed what the hell NOBODY HEARS ANYTHING cellbit's having the time of his life KAISER GETS UP???? WHAT HTHE FUCK IS THAAAAT THATS BEEN HAUNTING JENNIFER???????????? THATS BEEN HAUNTING KAISER AND ARTHUR AND IVETE????? DANIEL HARTMANN YOU ASSHOLE

cellbit it so hyped for this im so afraid wow what a nice heal dante oooooo erin using her energy kaiser was not ready if they let this thing escape im gonna wait they're bullying it ???????? QUE FODA IS RIGHT AI WAIT ARTHUR HAS 4 HP luciano remembers everything??????? we leave kaiser alone with fingers and not-kaiser okay OUCH NOT-ARTHUR IS CRAZY WITH IT REAL ARTHUR IS ALSO CRAZY WITH IT kaiser is getting rolled all because he took a nap DANTE CANT HIT SHITTTTT cellbit you YOUUUU 'isnt kaiser one of your important people?" youuuuuuuuuuu

joui stop getting shot by kaiser challenge failed 12 DAMAGE??? DANTE WITH ONE HEAL EARLIER porra ivete minha querida ???????????????????????????????????????????????????? erin. JOUIIIIII we're all failing everything today ivete is fucking nasty with it IVETTTEEEEE PLEEEASE KILL KAISER 2 cellbit you're gonna have to drag ivete out of guaxi's cold dead hands KAISER IS SO SLEEPY kaiser failing EVERYTHING kaiser 2 is fucking CRAZY HES SO STRONG HES IN THE MATRIX arthur rolled a one im gonna lose my brain my mind its all crumbling to dust kaiser rolled a 1 cellbit what the fuck

ivete putting in work FRAKAISER joui you arent allowed in the kaiser 2 fight you already lost dante a true healer about to start beating his patients to near death aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA luciano just demolished kaiser 2 HES STILL ALIVE???? NEVERMIND LETS GOOOO joui has broken free of his hallway prison kaiser killsteal

kaiser and arthur taking a little nap joui going to treat ivete :))))))))) no matter how many times cellbit tries to explain first aid it will never not be confusing jennifer i knew you werent evil just haunted sick tattoo arthur but im not really feeling it theres still ghosts up in here

EPISODE FIFTEEEEEEEN i have a bad feeling that if erin dies im going to be really sad how has this happened i kind of love her

kaisers taking a nap onnnnnn the floor arthur hugging im grthgbfdsahvgkjbldsav damn luciano straight to the point at least its a cool looking tattoo arthur tries to transcend with the tattoo and he just explodes oh kaiser is just laying on the ground with the espreitador

still cant get over the fact that daniel hartmann made this thing dude if i was him and i made these kinds of creatures without fully realizing i would also feel horrible

the doll face is kind of horrible get it away joui kaiser doesnt need more drugs he needs bedtime hes gonna have a heart attack "foi legal" ok mister i got shot in the chest OOP? KAISER AND JOUIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is so 'dante can you grab my shirt from the floor?'

ERIN CAN FIX THE VANNNNNNNN bea is still in the van danteeee you gotta do something about this erin you are so cool you fix that van you can do anything THE PIZZAS who the fuck stole a slice ivete payed for those erin why are you grinning like that VAN FIXED ERIN I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU ATE A SLICE OF PIZZA

the most van ride ever the sleeping passengers the bea the pizza mystery erin's about to crash the car because of the cheese bread this is gonna be so awkward when they get to the base SO awkward

fuck you kaiser you are a good person when bea was trying to kill you guys you didnt even try to hurt her IVETE I LOVE YOUUUUU WAAAAAAAAAAA bro ivete is actually gonna make me cry wtf health regen humungous we deserve this kaiser with the xqc sticc body type what are the odds that when dante tries to look into bea's mind its just screaming and agony verissimo is missing okaay

I LOVE ERIN erinnnnn you're breaking this in the worst way possible they dont know tristan is deaaaaad kalera is so cool dude

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARCELA IS MATHEUS' MOM THERES THREE PEOPLE IN THIS CALL THAT JUST STRAIGHT UP BULLIED HIM flashback to alex sneaking matheus a note and the kid just reading it out loud

btw im still obsessed with how they say "hugo" in a brazillian accent thats amazing all hugo should be said like that

clarissa is here this is really awkward are you gonna tell her kaiser orrr oof

"HOW ARE YOU FEELING ARTHUR?" kaiser asks while punching him

cellbit stop smiling when you ask if dante is ready to hear bea's thoughts stop it nvm he sent it to break evil mestre

well i wasnt wrong WHOA WHOA WHA get dante outta there what the hell fuck thats :(

that was horrific kaiser theres alot of people locked up in the base prison joui wants to meditate with kaiser sooooo bad if anyone offered to meditate with him he might cry i fucking love tetris

>:( :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

dante is in unconscious jail OH JOUI thats so awkward you understand what has to be done arthur is TWENTY EIGHT hes so young thats fucked up you stole his whole family from him hes still in his twenties MY BODY IS A TEMPLE

oh. that sucks joui you wouldnt hit a blind man would you

this is so awkward for everyone else living in the ordem prison that can hear this i just think we dont go back to the orphanage?????? that place sucks???? kaiser about to gain the ritual of turning someone into a puppet kaiser thinks omitting details and lying are two different things very interesting surveillance ritual

damn ordem makes me want to punch my monitor

wait DAMN OH SHIT i didnt even realiese until kaiser fucking said something just now but they ARE listening and watching from the symbol tattoed on arthur thats fucked if i had to guess its the sect of masks that did it???? to watch joui?? but strange that the doll face with the same symbol was in the mansion unless the house and the sect of masks are connected somehow

i feel like its better to tell arthur, like who cares if the people listening know, itll be easier to hide shit if arthur understands .... the neighbours? im telling you the neighbour's dog is secretly kian

im a big fan of pizza thats been sitting out for too long thats my toxic trait erin rich as heck we wouldnt make dante sleep on the floor would we hes kind of depressed right now JOUI damn joui they're making dante breakfast and everything kaiser you're being a freak .....we havent heard from grandma in a while

jouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii u stay here u little

EPISODE 16 WOOOOOOOOO the kaiser thumbnail is wicked

we live in a world where someone or something has definitely gone and dug up bea's body but thats just my opinion

"hm" JOUIIIIIIIIIII JUST HAVE A SLEEPOVER WITH ARTHUR E KAISER "of course, you slept with dante" JOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII kaiser is too smart brain too big

ooooooo agathinha foi mal is right arthur's fucking giggle bro stop agatha so mad he got a tattoo without her maybe we ask joui for advice before trying to remove the tattoo "can you hold my hand" arthur makes me want to punch my monitor 11 DAMAGE LOOOL

CARALHO TÁ MUITO FODA joui's so mad hes transcending

they're gonna get back to the house and the kids wandering around it

the computer guys are so funny i think if you turn on an actual light in their room they'll all shrivel up and die letícia is nice but if a strong wind comes she will blow away into dust

to be clear i would steal from the ordem just to see what would happen missed opportunity to see ivete go on a manhunt for who stole her supplies fernando SUCKS at pool joui you're such a little loser i love you kaiser you have to teach arthur how to actually play tetris he doesnt get it

we back in canada baby get the poutine i just noticed the name of this episode :)))))))))) its my favourite ordem song you dont understand

THE OLD PEOPLE DIIIIEDDDD KIAN THE DOG KILLED THEM AND STOLE THEIR BODIES fresta amongus no way we were talking to ghosts bro they ate ghost cake erin's mask is awesome the knowledge and energy guys were kissing in here aren't they supposed to hate each other when did luciano get here

guys kaiser is going through a crisis he's trying to change himself for the better but hes really self conscious about it

HUUUUGGOOOOO hugo dont add random adults on whatsapp even if they like g-force joui would fight a teenager if their name was cassiano

mmmmmmm coffin soup aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa naaaaaaaaaaao lodo preto burn it burn it burn it burn it tchau lodo preto nevermind nevermind nevermind tchau lodo preto arthur dont fucking touch it ...espiral escape room mestre THE PASSWORD IS KIAN THE PASSWORD IS KIAN dammit the password is olho the password is olho

joui you get away from that spiral corpse THE PASSWORD IS HUGO the password is door 4 students desks amongus the password is four the blackboard is haunted haunted chiclete

wowie sheet music if they zoom in on it more i could read it wait thats THE SONG THATS THE BEST SONG some death guy about to come punch them all

i feel like ive lost the plot i need someone to summarize leonardo gomes for me, we think he's kian right??? like his body is kian and we're trying to track leo down to find kian because theyre the same person technically right if not then im watching an entire different show lmao

bmail musicinha if fernando gets fucked up like bea did does the same thing happen to luciano since they share a body or not because they dont really share a mind

its a familiar song to joui... to be clear this is the best song ever dangerous song ?????? cellbit you stop that play the song again joui its so good i dont care if its sending us to hell or whatever

it is boa cellbit fuck you if this song sends you into a coma im screwed oop oop oop oop THAT THING IS AWESOME WHAT THE HELL WICKED COOL SO COOL death has the best monsters

eu fracassei 24 damage is crazy what the hell ah nao she just started the monsters second phase joui get the fuck outta the way erin's demolishing this guy arthur's nice with it luciano playing the drums joui that was so cool theyre bullying this dude

I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHATS ON THE LAPTOPPPPPPP

stepped on a lego normal kids room with a summoning symbol in it wait havent we heard if tirigan before TIM'S IMAGINARY FRIEND?? thats not good your imaginary friend should not be friends with other people ooooo arthur so smart liz would be so proud JOUI SAID IT TOO WAAAA

????????????????????????????????????????????????? alvaro was all over the place also CRAZY that alex doesnt get noticed in this paper dudes so unlucky even in death number 1 alvaro augusto hater btw what a guy

LOL THE SKULL luciano how did you not break it into 1 million pieces no way the body were we supposed to burn this thing plEASE DONT THROW A GRENADE TOWARDS KAISERRRRR this song is so good ill actually never get over it joui is escaping the hallway very smart hallways and doorways very dangerous kaiser about to chuck himself down the stairs

joui not jealous joui never jealous someone should touch the sludge for fun they're gonna have to fight the corpse a third time but now it'll deal burn damage erin almost died on the stairs

LAPTOPPPPPPPPPPPP POGGGGGGGGGGG WE MADE ITTTTTT WINDOWS XP UH OH THAT NOTEPAD DOESNT LOOK TOO GOOD anyways my favourite element is death kaiser wanted to hack the email so bad we really moved into a haunted house and THEN adopted a child not what i would do but whatever

'good luck surviving until then' okay buddy dude this guy doesnt stay away THERES MORE are these the dead kids ISNT GRENADE THREE THE DESASTRE ROLL JUST WONDERING JUST CURIOUS erin is these guys' worst nightmare he rolled a 1 against her how sad AI JOUI FUCKIN SLIPPED OR SEOMTHING HIS INSIDES ARE GETTING TOSSED LIKE A SALAD arthur and fernando jamming out who even cares about death skeletons

luciano fucking sucks at playing the guitar foda demais ITS OUTSIIIIDE ARE THE KIDS ACROSS THE STREET SEEING THIS SHIT HUGO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW wwe superstar luciano hitting a frog splash

joui and erin you two are so lame together i say lovingly joui is not jealous at all ever about any attention that arthur gives to anyone else JOUI THATS SO RUDE KKKK DONT JUDGE HER 3 WORDS SHE KNOWS IN JAPANESE

carro chegando who the fuck is here go away this house is haunted as heck off topic but eita is such a good word IVETE GO HOME WHATS WRONG WITH YOU oh she's dante's uber driver

EP 17 tamo junto

dante you missed the party cool sunglasses tho someone should probably keep an eye on dante so he doesnt take a tumble down the stairs yes ivete please leave the haunted house probably wants to eat you WAAAAA I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT THEY STOLE BEA'S BODY was it gal or the mask guys tho gal is more connected to the orphanage and also hes A FUCKING ASSHOLE

ghost footprints kaiser's never seen a shoe in his life arthur making sure dante doesnt take a tumble down the stairs joui also but im pretty sure hes just being jealous again not the bathroom again :DDDDD

fresta amongus "what do you do?" i shut the door and leave the house get a nice minimum wage job and forget i ever worked for the ordem nevermind i run in and try to grab the book out of her hands to see what happens "ghosts dont exist" okay joui jesussss what ythr fuck

really like how even tho dante is blind now he can still use any ritual he needs to, he doesnt just get written off as useless

maybe the book they need is the BIBLE nevermind daniel you fucker wait that could be such a good idea, turn the water main off, turn on all the taps, and then turn the water main back on no problem no drowning

joui sus joui what were you planning last night sus joui where are you going sus joui why are you the thumbnail for this episode sus joui why have you been so weird since the sect of masks incident sus happy pride month

erin thats fucking creepy this house is a mess are we gonna be cleaning it after this is all over succ stop laughing at cellbit's succ rp WE GET TO SWIM NEVERMIND THE POOL WATER IS NASTY no way we walk up to the pool this is how the entire group dies bro surely the kids across the street are seeing this shit

hello i have a terrible fear of drowning and deep water this is awful THAT THING IS COOL SHES GOOEY 'only kaiser can shoot me' you stop that bullying the pool woman ??????dante OW???? JOUI???? jou you are so in the way is there any way you can move slightly to the left thats horrific luciano how is she still aliiiive mmmmm tripas dante you are just so far away nvm you are now much closer joui is getting ROLLED OH YEAH LUCIANO IS DROWNING KAISER IS BEING SMOTHERED

they're getting absolutely demolished by a swimming pool why does this woman have so much HEALTH DANTEEEE NAAAAAO LMAOOOOOOO LUCIANO IS FUCKING DYINGGGGG

what is this scenario cellbit has created were they supposed to go outside and fist fight the pool because this is going so so so badly was there a better way to go about it YEAAAAAH ARTHURRRRRR

LUCIANO ATE THE FUCKING KEY THEYRE ALL PUKINGGGG

"whispers??????? jouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii THE KIDS WERE WATCHING YESSSSSSS arthur heal steal this house is a horrible mess what do they actually do with once finished

IS THIS THE LAST DOOOOOOOR ARE WE FINALLY GETTING INNNNN i forgot dante is blind this room is awesome

oooo this kid was pissed WHOA WHOA LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS CRAZYYYYYYY yum blood symbol hate those guys arthur just breathed into kaiser's ear we're not gonna go bother this random guy are we the skate doesnt have a symbol how uncool i want to transcend with the skate

arthur, joui, and kaiser are DISGUSTING together i love them happy............... pride.................... month...................

:) im smiling through the pain joui you stop this you arent going anywhere they should just go smoke some of the weed in the living room next time joui goes to pee the sect of masks are gonna crawl out the toilet and kidnap him

kaiser's nicotine withdrawal is actually just a cover because hes afraid of losing another person hes close to but its okay ill just believe hes really mad about having to buy more cigarettes

why do you say that like you know you have no choice on if luciano allows you to come back or not fernando im gonna break something

we're gonna go ruin this random guy's life arthur if you werent driving this could be a three way hug its impossible for us to have to fight two haunted apartments in one season

fourth floor.... simply i would not answer the door if there were 6 random people standing outside it ooooooooooooooo joui i dont think frederico wants to relive this guyssss hes freaking out maybe we should have brought him some water or a snack

i think frederico needs to find a new therapist probably one that works for the ordem lmao i thought kaiser was gonna start raiding his kitchen we just showed up at this guy's house, ruined his day, and left kian sabe OQ QUE O KIAN SABE no way we're actually leaving someone rob his house or something

sus the whispers also want to stop at a drive thru equipe e WAAAAAAAAA ...this music is...nice rakin staring suspiciously at cellbit is me rn

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

what the fuck

EPISODE 18 what the fuck

what the fuck

luis talking about an osnf fancam where am i

im so sad but this intro slaps every time THERES JOUI HES IN THE INTRO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

who is tirigan also isnt the house still haunted

wow i wonder who left this note gfmnksbonçfjksbgrtfsnkjvgbjifostbgpgnfbsjgfs im fine

大丈夫

AGATHAAAAAAAA new csgo knife skin just dropped RITUAL STORE IS AWESOME if joui was here he would be so mad he would also buy something out of spite QUE FODA too bad its not the skate

o violão de ódio incontrolável sounds awesome 44% paranormal exposure kinda nuts arthur kinda crazy kinda know alot arthur glow up next enemy they meet he's gonna bulldoze them dante kinda tense maybe go sit in the sun for a bit absorb the energy

MATH money is difficult you have so much but then you buy 2 things and suddenly you have none kaiser hates shopping i would also buy the spiral ring you can do it fernando i believe in you

wait hes actually doing it pop off fernando you earned this nvm you're still giving it to luciano but at least the other side doesn't hate your ass anymore

i stopped this episode for a whole week because i was so sad about joui where am i who am i i love agatha

i would collect healing rituals like pokemon cards are there occultists selling rituals on ebay we are all so paranormally exposed but how far can you go before it starts to become not such a good thing bea's brain became alphabet soup sooo

WHERE IS YOUR GRANDMA ERIN IS SHE A HACKER IS SHE DEAD IS SHE A ZUMBI DE SANGUE is she kian kian sabe kian out here sleeping with your grandma erin did you know that

question can i use someone else to transcend and learn a ritual like if i drag arthur into the circle and try to transcend with his tattoo do i learn that same ritual also does arthur explode if this happens

to be clear if you could steal a ritual off of Agatha she would either kill and dismember you OR start loading you up with as many rituals as possible just to see what would happen "take this one and this one and this one and-"

agatha and arthur make me want to punch my monitor oh :( agatha :( what are we even talking about bolo de coco ive lost the plot

kian body hopping like orochimaru he'd better not have a thing for snakes arthur doesn't know shit

reading is HARD if you kill kian's body does he swoop into the next one is there a curse mark that he puts on prospective bodies to use once he loses one do you know who else does that

wow i sure do understand this journal perfectly thanks arnaldo fritz but actually the last page hes translating the STONE and its talking about the elements i know this because i can read HUGO????? hugo just stopped my train of thought completely one of the kids is possesed its tim isnt it tim are you housing kian in your soul

HUGOOOOOOOOOOOOO NAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO cellbit said you guys are taking too long so this kid is gonna get it joui is hiding in the fridge like a freak

COMO NAO VELHO no illegal weapon modifications allowed i like how cellbit always has to reassure them that they wont get in a car crash unless they roll a 1 they're so afraid

poggers neblina poggers névoa not poggers sangue awkward not to be that guy but the guard is gonna turn into a blood zombie i dont like this song if that one fucker is here im gonna where hugo where hugo where hugo this is not a public bus go away

nvm the car crash fears have been realized oooooooo were leaving the van idk about this one guys occultists hate canada naaaao this freak maybe he's just taking his dog for a walk LMAAAAAAOOOO this guy monologuing and kaiser just 'what the fuck are you even talking about'

this thing is about to ruin everyone's lives wait hes so cool we're so dead HIS CHARACTER MODEL IS COOOOOL TEN DAMAGE :DDDDDDDDDDDDD dante just ruined this guy's life so smart water beats fire or something OW OUCH OW RUINED KAISER'S LIFE HIS DAY HIS FACE luciano idk about getting closer to that guy

i wonder what the inside of the enpap's mind sounds like slapped erin and kaiser the fuck outta the way HE LOVES IT luciano this is so awkward for you this guy's favourite movie is the terminator

wait so was that mark put on arthur originally by gal because how else would this guy know that they had been here

erinnnnnnn just got bulldozed ARTHUR YOU SUCK THAT WAS THE WORST BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS KAISER GFUCKING ATE THOSE HITS if you kill the enpap and it falls on kaiser its gonna squash him like bread "é o kaiser" kaiser is busy dying fuck you his lungs look like a wet towel right now wow erin that was so nice but also you have 2 health

we all suck at dodging KAISERRRRR ERINNNNNNNNNNNN dante doesnt know what the hell is going on btw enpap smol NVM DANTE ACTUALLY RUINED THIS GUY'S LIFE

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD leave kaiser alone "im going to take care of kaiser" kaiser is getting kidnapped right now im gonna im gonna gimgf njgtbtrnsdfov fdeajvrfgfdxhb trsevlfd sbvhgutfirodsbgngjfskblnbjgfskibo

arthurrrrrrrGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA bruno you bitch thats your friend hello hello hello am i crazy hello can we leave kaiser alone hello

fucking hell i need like 10 minutes after that

clara is fucking nuts also where did she come from i wasnt looking i was in great distress EH?mommy hey where are the kids from across the street so bea had the answers but because of kian and birds we lost it HOW'S THIS GUY ALIVE luis is so mad damn clara that sucks this guy is nuts :D

wait this song is awesome luciano fuck him up you wanted this so bad nvm you missed he's doing knife tricks

marca um símbolo oh no :) personally i wouldnt step in front of a dante that's aiming a gun bruno sneezed when he swung at the guy nice luciano um ouch how nice how cool i hate the blood element btw this guy is the WhySoSerious emote

punch him in the mouth nice luciano nvm you got fucked up maybe you should sit the rest of this fight out buddy draws a symbol on himself bro's about to pull a hidan hopefully nobody here is asuma

so can we heal over these marks so he cant use them orrrrrr UNDER THE FRIDGE?? we gotta start moving fridges in every house now

so glad we're back in the house also where are the neighbour kids huh what did you do with them cellbit we made ramen next to this fridge and everything never realized there was a basement underneath

'meu enpapzinho meu filho' ok cellbit

EPISODE 19 cadê o hugo

this is like a field trip everyone gets a nametag so mestre doesn't lose them

this song makes me feel so knowledgeable it only took me 2 tries to spell that what if bruno tripped and fell farther into the hall that would suck hihihihihihihi

maybe we don't let bruno grab any more papers KKKKK uh ohh....

god dammit guys we all got locked out ??????? impossível ser what succal?????? this thing about to kiss dante or what can we not just shoot this one anthony is making it sound like we cant just kill her is she the key

big group in a hallway this is going to be horrible wild choice to wade in the disease water someone's going to get a parasite are there mosquitos down here have we had our vaccines

?????????????????????? THAT SUCKS BRUNO THAT SUCKS THATS HORRIBLE i would fall over and die pretty sure luciano just saved all their asses cachorro de sangue WOOF WOOF

these knowledge guys are kinda crazy how are the hypnotized death guys somehow the most sane ones in the series so far Ike arent you cold down here without a shirt kaiser rolls a 1 great start bruno fofo dont die tho BRUNO???? THAt WAS THE WORST ATTACK EVER KKKKKK OW KAISER LOL ike went and took all of kaiser's luck with shooting

erin flanking she's playing valorant ???????? ?????? ????????? ??????? ???? ????????? ???????? can we all keep our clothes on in the hunted sewers please bruno i have the solution just kick ike in the knee you're right there wait hes actually trying to kick his knee in thats awesome

surely they dont have to fight bruno later at the end of this dungeon

arthur doesnt miss except when he does

no way why are the children in the knowledge sewer why cant 6 people walk as quietly as 1 why cant we walk on our tippy toes HUGO THATS A SICK GAMING ROOM HUGO WHO IS YOUR FRIEND IN THE GAMING ROOM STOP TALKING TO STRANGERS

HUUUUUUGOOOO WHYYYYY this is the coolest thing that's ever happened to hugo luciano hugo cant pause he's playing an online game wait his name does say lucifer thats awesome so smart dante if hugo dies in the game he dies in real life

hi mia this is a really bad time like a really bad time like you couldn't have picked a worse time 4 d6 is insane hugo i love you omg kaiser and hugo gaming together this is just a game cellbit would actually play

is anyone writing down the directions kaiser is going this could be important rakin looks so suspicious of this game the enemies are about to come crawling out the screen succal you're ruining the gamer vibes OW goodbye sanity

tirigan, the last living escripta?????????????? until kian grows enough?????? TIM IS KIAN TIM ISNT TIRIGAN YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND tirigan is tim's imaginary friend right im not mixing this up i cant just go to the wiki and look and i dont feel like going back to episode whatever to check i could be very wrong

nvm i went back to check and tim is talking about tirigan dude kian is possessing his body mega sus shelf why they have all these pictures why they have cris and daniel and IS THAT ALEX FROM SEASON 1 LOLLLL

ERINS GRANDMA IS ALIVE SHES A HACKER FOR THE BAD GUYS WHY ISNT TRISTAN'S FACE SCRATCHED OUT thiago :( all these ordem members but not veríssimo am i wrong for not trusting him tristan's head got opened like a hotdog bun hes not alive

o anfitrião....

i changed my mind kian is erin's grandma maybe these are all the bodies kian wants to save so he can just hop between them when he needs to after they die idk what you're gonna do with daniel tho he kinda got ate

check behind liz's picture or else please check alex's photo i have the solution erin's grandma is the host UE????????? meu deus we suck at this puzzle damn they really stole fernando's body kinda messed up kinda :( bit aggressive luciano but you've earned it

LOLLLL KAISER THATS FUICKED UP HUUUUGOOOOOOOOOO

19 SANITY arthur you just saved hugo's small teenager brain did they kidnap erin's grandma or did she trip and fall into a chaos lair and become imbued with the power of chaos

can we burn alvaro's body not because he might be haunted or anything but just because he's an asshole DONT PANIC DONT PANIC DONT PANIC THEYRE LOST HLEP HELP haunted shelf

wait i love the emo knowledge duo nvm they're being kinda rude nice one kaiser awesome roll ritual of hate on bruno.... :D erin i wouldnt get in his line of sight dante see nothing LOL HUGO get away from here kish is getting rolled not to be that guy but i think we should be focusing erica

oh no that was her best friend sorry erica LOLLLLLL KAISER RUNNNNN ARTHURRRR NAAAAOOO erin back up erin back up cellbit rolling 1000 dice for bruno's attack OW BRUNO bruno this is really awkward you just fucked kaiser up

no arthur it was a great idea everyone just decided to just hang out around the pissed off bruno

erin vs ammo btw wheres tim wow i understand that paper perfectly the succal is crazy with it WE'RE LOST not lost massive puzzle moment we are puzzling daniel's ass should go on a statue that's called "guilt"

YEAH EDUARDA WHERE IS TIM they're gonna open the door and there's going to be an exorcism to separate kian from tim it's a shame bruno is a cellbit npc so he's probably going to die horribly

can we just kill this anthony guy already i dont like him

gal is the last person tim should be hanging out with

the succ+ is strong against both metagaming and grenades erin's about to go CRAZY NICE DAMAGE ARTHUR NICE isnt knowledge good against energy can we read it a book ive figured it out erin's grandma is the succ+

erin if your gonna go mad at least go try to take anthony out with you

ERIN ROLLS A 1 THATS CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY

dante hates the energy woman he hates the succ++ wtf

erin... :D what :D no way anthony is still alive can someone go kill him THANK YOU LUCIANO kaiser hes so dead his brain is goo oops lucifer and erin are kind of friends arent they

arthur and kaiser paranormal exposure makes me kinda nervous :D go roll around on the symbol on the ground see what happens

kalera you're so cool

erin's still in the ending credits its not over till its over

EP 20 I JUST WANT TO SEE KIAN COME CRAWLING OUT OF TIM'S CORPSE

its been so long

rakin can you actually see luis actually getting to cosplay this time pop off bro just dont die im mentally prepared for erin to become dust

arthur and kaiser kinda matching kinda cute kinda wish joui was here to match with them :)))))))))))))

[greasydumbfuck]

TRIPLY WHAMMY: The Monstrous, 🕸, and then I couldn't decide on the cat one so Tabby AND White Cat :3c

I guess that makes this a QUADRUPLE WHAMMY but that rolls off the tongue less good

math was never our strong side lets just say its cuz its from three different games. thanks for the ask babes xoxo The Monstrous this one is funny to me because as far as i know canonically frank gets to be at least two supernatural creatures. collecting that shit like he does other men's wives. anyway im not gonna be creative here and ill just say werewolf. big hairy often commits murder in a messy way and ends up covered in blood. but also there are so many long texts about how misunderstood the werewolf is as a figure. so like it fits in my mind. maybe if i got a long list of all mythical creatures and spent an hour reading it id come up with something more creative but this works too no?

🕸️

(song that reminds you of your ship) LIKE THREE actually none of them very extraordinary brave choices but im gonna go for the funniest one out of them black and white by kombi. the polish one. yeah. because okay listen. one thats just his color palette. haha. the song itself is about seeing the world in only those colors which is also very him. "life has no middle ground // love rule and divide" like okay do you hear me. please. i love assigning polish songs to fictional characters.

Tabby (are they snuggly?) right so i think meta menardi gets very cuddly and affectionate with frank because shes overwhelmed a little......... by what she feels. and now this is where it gets tricky for me because like. its not that he doesnt like it. its not that he exactly likes it either. its weird. its unusual. it takes up so much of his time for no reason and hes always got better things to do than this. but also once shes hugging him he doesnt really want to leave because as much as he dislikes it and he hates how soft she always is with him, its so... nice. so uh i guess point being meta is snuggly as hell, maybe less so when sleeping, frank isnt for the most part at least not actively but as time goes on both his enjoyment of and how bad he feels about the affection grow. ARGH i have a lot of thoughts about this specifically but i cant put them into words ever. their whole thing is just a bit complicated but in an entirely different way than frank is used to by that point. plus the more he genuinely likes her in any way the less he wants to stay because yeah sure she has some powers but she is NOT used to the level of danger he brings (the place she's a spider-person for is relatively chill) and hes reminded of that every time she holds him in any way. he likes having his arms around her in some way (standing behind her, keeping her by his side etc) and her favorite is cradling his head to her chest. like a baby. he doesnt like when she puts it like that.

White Cat (are the f/os eyes striking?) i said it once under some post but like hes got that fucking. blue-eyed people stare. so in that way yes. but also since its frank the look in his eyes is almost always a little unsettling. because of the uh you know. the war trauma and the murder trauma and the violent tendencies overall. but meta likes them, she likes the little changes in them depending on what hes thinking. subtle but there and shes always soo proud of herself to catch them. also to me (and by extension to her ahaha) hes just. in some strange way. real pretty. in turn frank doesnt think metas eyes are "striking" exactly but he does thing they fit her a lot. theyre round, warm, and with a look of naivety. like they are by all logic so common and so unremarkable really (which is fitting because nearly everything about her is - she is the common cave spider afterall!) but theres this softness in the way she looks at him that makes it special. shame she doesn't like him seeing them though.

sorry for yapping this came out longer than i wanted it to but im just so desparate to share things and do things and have them be percieved. yeah

[aftout]

Actually possible last one for tonight [blinks at you] if I said Alley Gator. Fully /srs. What would you do

Sexuality Headcanon: I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT DEEPLY. Just sticking with unlabelled .

Gender Headcanon: he/him but like in the sense that alligators don’t have human understandings of the gender binary. Does this make any sense? Funnier answer is British.

A ship I have with said character: Can he and steambot willy kiss forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever? And then hold hands?

A BROTP I have with said character: I cannot for the LIFE of me remember their name but I think he should arm wrestle with that other fighter who regularly has their bandages falling over their eyes. The ourple one:

A random headcanon: I thiiiink he survived the Sado thing because I am biased ❤️ but it did fuck up his model big time so now he’s got a bunch of missing textures and whatnot. He’s also gone blind ☝️ But he and steambot willy are in the void together now and thats all that matters ❤️

General Opinion over said character: Funniest possible guy you could put in a fighting game. British alligator that swears like a sailor and also actually hates fighting and gets put in prison because he wanted to quit his job. What the fuck is even happening in The Hex like actually.

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e2 episode reaction

heavy breathing on speakerphone? are they having phone sex?

oh no. just longing. that is genuinely worse

"what would you have done if I was there" ok nvm they're gonna have phone sex

OK NVM IT'S STILL JUST LONGING

WHAT ARE YOU? ADULTS?

oh that was really sad

are they ever not gonna get interrupted by knocking. on god.

vanessa gives me the heebie jeebies

y'all vincent is SO dramatic he should genuinely drop out and become an actor.

not the uncomfortable looks between the third years re: the gay porn movie sjfkdjfld

"no one's been bullied" and pans to alexander. yeah. fr.

I knew they were gonna talk shit abt wille as soon as he left.

hm. of course august wants to defend that.

how surprising, ludwig not going to see wille

oh, kristina is fully unraveling huh

bro farima is starting to piss me off too

seriously. not one single functioning adult in this whole damn country.

"so the plan is to not do anything until it looks bad to not do anything" isn't that the plan for all royal families for eternity?

god they're so cute with their piano and their hand holding and their talking about their feelings

simon: close the school !!!!!! wille: wait no

or are you just with me because we go to the same school skflsjfdljfslrk I MEAN.....

like that's not an unfair assumption y'all wouldn't have met otherwise bffr

hm. okay

awww yeah felice is a baby I love her

DIVERSITY

BROOOOOOOOOOO LMFAO OF COURSE IT WAS THAT

DISGUSTINGGGGGGGGGG FUCK YOU LADY FROM THE INCREDIBLES

YEAH FELICE GET THAT

NOT THE TICKLINGGGGG

omg the lil high five/hand shake thing with wille and simon I'm gonna start crying they're so cute

ooooooo a camping trip. love this for them.

WHY ARE THEY BEING SO CUTE

BRO IM IN SHAMBLES I LOVE ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP WILMON SO MUCH STOP

"do you think we'll get to sleep together" WHO ARE YOU NICK AND CHARLIE AT PARIS?? STOP THAT

god they're so fucking cute I'm gonna kms

oh her and micke having a whole conversation like parent and child? ok

OH SHE NO LONGER WANTS TO WORK WITH HORSES

OH SARA NOOO

oh wow sara's a whole driver huh

so weird to have sara and micke bonding. like genuinely so weird.

HE JOINED THE CHOIR NNNOOOOOOOOO

JAKFJSKFJDKFJDJF THATS SO FUCKING FUKNYKFKTJDKGKDKFKDLFK

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS I'M GONNA DIE OF SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT

FELICE'S WIDDLE FACE OH NO

SIMON'S FACEJSKFJDKGJDLFKDLFKFL

oh they're making out now huh

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED TO SING - I DONT LIKE TO SING I LIKE TO LISTEN TO YOU SING

yo this season is wish fulfillment in every goddamn way

like they're so fucking precious I'm gonna fucking die

awww nothing more precious than rotting with your girl besties

a petition lol

why's he allowed a laptop and not a phone though? that makes no sense

oh. oh um.

oh well that sounds an awful lot like sexual assault huh

lil bro's got a full blown eating disorder huh. you need therapy not exercise

HE'S CALLING SARA

HE'S CALLING SARA AND TEARING UP

WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HIM

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HIM

oh uh simon tore him a new one huh

ooooooo protective bf wille going all out

listen. I don't *enjoy* abuse of power

but every time wille reminds august who's the heir and who's gonna be king n shit, it's just. it gets to me all right. it gets to me

aw come on that was barely a fight

NOT IN FRONT OF BORIS

"mediation talks" THEYRE SENDING THEM TO COUPLES COUNSELING DJFLFJRLDJRLDJFLDJFLDKFLDKF

STOP THAT IS THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME DJGKDJFLSKFLSKGLSJGLSJFLSJ

oh come ON SJDLSJFLDJFL

listen I know this is supposed to be dramatic but A RELIGIOUS PAMPHLET I'M GONNA DIENDKFKSKGJDLFKDLGKDLFK

I thought I was gonna be immune to any and all mentions of any sort of revolution, turns out I'm not

oh good lord no

simon don't do it

oh he did it. oh yeah fucking wonderful.

teenagers, y'all.

sure, baby. be the very public boyfriend of the future king of sweden, get a fuck ton of hate (and be accused of social climbing), post an original song about revolution, profit. a+ decision making here. I see no flaws.

oh, yeah, of course farima is in this bitch

this is stressing me out lmfao

ugh.

NO DONT SAY THAT

NOOOOO

WHEN I WANTED A MUTUAL ILY I DIDN'T MEAN DURING A TENSE MOMENT

I mean I'm actually like really glad they're both tense and still reminding each other that they love each other. #communication

but oh no

"I've taken care of myself and sara since we were kids" yeah wonder why that was [stares at linda and micke]

girlhood, man. so beautiful.

OH FELICE IS TALKING ABT RACISM

not stella going "you're so so beautiful" like yes she is that isn't the problem

ok fuck you valter

WHAT GIRL WOULD YOU BE DATING lmfao

WHAT ABOUT THE NONBINARY ONES YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAA MADDIE

nonbinary regnant maddie

tbf simon....... like wouldn't y'all want to get it on lmfao

it makes me very sad tho. the fact that no one would wanna sleep in the same tent with them. homophobic.

FELICE SAVES THE DAY ONCE AGAIN

bro I am so into felice + wille + simon. a wonder.

the lil hammock bit I love them so much

NOT MARIEBERG CRASHING THE CAMPING TRIP

I'm genuinely so obsessed with them they're being SO PUBLIC like that's a power couple right there

STELLA AND ROSH?!!?!!??!? +/? +? /?? =!!

STELLA??? AND ROSH?????????

bro this is straight out of a fanfic I can't stop laughing

STELLA EHSKFJSKFJDKR

fredrika is so nasty and for what sjfkdjfkdjfkdkf

WILLE NOJFLFJDLFKDLFKDLGKD

oh my god

oh that's so fucking awkward akfkskflskd

THAT IS *NOT* THE SAME THING WILHELM BE THE MOST FUCKIN FOR REAL

oh that's a class divide fr in there. wow.

WE HAVE TO WORK TO AFFORD THINGS

DID HE JUST SHUSH HIM

WHAT THE FUCK

wilhelm that is *so* fucking *low*

like ohohoho you're rich like me now because you got your UNDERAGE SEX TAPE LEAKED

that is *so* low holy fucking shit

oh wow

okay that was stressful

I do love those artful shots of wille

oh. ludwig speaks. didn't know he had a voice. I assumed kristina had it on some conch shell necklace.

TAKING TIME OFF????

"is it my fault?" WILLE NO. NO

oh yeah that's gonna be stressful isn't it

god