#fuck sudou

[rinshiroufan]

The thing about Rin in Heaven's Feel is that nobody actually gives a single fucking shit about her.

It is deeply ironic; deeply ironic in a very contemptible manner. It is rather infuriating, for me personally—to see this rather complex and intricate character be so thoroughly underappreciated in any truly substantive fashion; to see people gloss over her brilliant and nuanced characterization in UBW; to see her—admittedly considerably less-written—HF incarnation reduced to a few easily digestable scenes, tragically overlooking the deeply imbedded nuance in the story; to see people fawn over an inferior iteration of the character at her peak—only to then not voice a single complaint when said iteration gets butchered beyond recognition.

The thing about Rin in Heaven's Feel is that nobody actually gives a single fucking shit about her.

The Heaven's Feel film trilogy adaptation by Tomonori Sudou is... not good. Not in the slightest. Explaining why it's all so bad would require a lengthy, thorough essay of its own; and frankly, I would rather this blog remain but a place for my venting my random frustrations about the discursive strictures fettering any proper analyses of Rin as a character—and above all, as a love interest—in the broader ecosystem of the FSN fanbase... admittedly so completely arbitrarily, but alas. But ultimately—it is quite revealing to observe what are the most common complaints that people about said adaptation after a careful perusing of online discussion of the films: the fact that the films did not give important side characters like Illya and Kirei their due. For such important characters, not enough time is devoted to fleshing them out as complex and nuanced conscious actors in the story.

Which is quite interesting since there is another exceedingly prominent character that receives an interesting and peculiar arc of her own.

Tohsaka Rin.

Rin's role in the story is reduced substantively and much of her characterization is actively butchered... yet none care.

Well—it's quite simple! If you are someone who adores Rin as a character and as a love interest for Shirou, then HF is really primarily a sideshow for you. The core of Rin as a character is to be found in UBW; thusly, her dedicated fanbase cares mostly about UBW. And UBW got an adaptation that most Rin fans utterly adore—for all complaints one may adduce against the 2014 show (most unfair and incorrect in my estimation), most people who like Rin agree that it at the very least did our girl justice. So what if HF didn't do her justice? We got to see Rin and her Emiya-kun in London!

And if you are someone who only cares about Rin inasmuch as she is Sakura's sister, and a foil to her in her own arc, with no appreciation of her in UBW—then you don't actually care about Rin. You don't understand her at all, and I hate you, and you should shut the fuck up about her.

The other thing about Rin in HF is that she's not some profoundly well-written character.

Her arc has no real meat—unless one, of course, takes into account how her arc in HF relates to her arc in UBW and how one analyzes Rin from a holistic perspective. But no-one does that... So we'll leave that for later. It all really boils down to "Rin don't like her sister... but then she DO!!!!" Brilliant. Riveting stuff. Perhaps one might cry out folly; it is a crime to be so reductionist with how the character is written. And that would be true to a certain extent—the way the story is executed certainly elevates a lot of the meagre, flaccid writing. But ultimately, Rin still basically just boils down a girl struggling between her humanity and her commitment to magecraft. Which is what Rin is—but without all of the richness, depth, nuance, flavour, brilliance that really takes that rather simple conflict and fleshes it out beyond what anyone could have imagined would be its potential... of UBW. The arc has no added complexity beyond Rin steeling herself for a whole route—before at the very changing her mind, suddenly. The effectiveness of the moment is greatly enhanced by the presentation: the way the CG is drawn; Kana Ueda's delivery; the music; the je ne sais quoi; etc. It's ultimately a testiment to how one may take a very simple story, and make it incredibly compelling and involving and wonderful...

But it is still, ultimately a very simple story.

And Rin in Heaven's Feel, viewed in isolation from her characterization in Unlimited Blade Works, is a very simple character.

Which is why no-one gives a shit about her.

Can anyone really think of a single person who considers HF Rin to be superior to UBW Rin that would consider Rin their favourite character? Or in their Top 3 FSN characters? Top 5 even? Anyone who wasn't already drawn to and fond of her character, who was ambivalent on her, but then were suddenly blown away—to the point she clawed her way all up to the top—simply because of that CG of Rin hugging Sakura?

No such person exists.

Why?

Because HF Rin is a mediocre character.

Past all the whiny melodrama and tearful theatrics—which are, admittedly, fairly effective—there is no substance.

Hence:

No-one gives a shit about Rin in HF.

There's only so much actual passion a character on the upper bounds of mediocrity just barely missing being actually good can actually inspire—which is why people usually praising her to high heavens (not entirely earnestly, mind you) are Sakura fans who only care about Rin and her feelings and her struggles and her own meaningful characterization inasmuch as she serves as a therapeuth for Sakura, and nothing else. Rin is good because she makes Sakura feel good—and isn't that wholesome!?!? But pierce the veil the veil of wholesomeness—and one finds but the empty void; Rin in HF is a lifeless husk. She is but a homunculus to serve as a means to assuage Sakura's guilt and make her happy.

Except—she isn't. While the HF Rin that exists in the popular consciousness is naught but a 6/10, the ACTUAL HF Rin is a shining 10. Rin in HF is an amazing character—it's just that people don't deserve her. And the HF films failed to capture that. Because Sudou is one of those aforementioned Sakura fans; and the way he treated he is arguably worse than the way he treated Kirei and Illya.

Here, it might be worthwhile for me to link a previous essay of mine. One that admittedly is exceedingly flawed and perhaps ought to be substantially rewritten, but one that I think nonetheless succeeds at conveying the core of Rin as a character—not just in HF, but the whole of FSN. But I shall attempt to within the bounds of this essay summarize key points in order to explain why the HF films just butchered her so thoroughly.

In essence; Rin is defined by her relationship with Shirou. Rin is Shirou's foil. The two are meant to be contrasted, for the many parallels and similarities are accompanied by complimentary contrasts; while both are held back by the legacies of their fathers and ultimately transcend them by making the same essential realization in UBW, the way they get there is substantially different—Shirou's being more... tumultuous. And in HF, the key difference between them is that Rin doesn't try to save Sakura, while Shirou does. Because it is impossible. And Rin doesn't do the impossible. Because unlike in UBW, where she is under the influence of her Shirou—her behaviour being contrasted not just to HF Shirou's, but to her own from the previous route—she has no-one to truly encourage her to embrace her human, idealistic side over her machine-like magus upbringing. Rin saves Shinji, despite his attempting to rape her; but she doesn't think of saving Sakura until the very end, when she can't kill her. Shirou is the personification of Rin's human idealism—just as Saber is Shirou's. Her desire to never quit; no matter what. Buried deep inside years of conditioning to act opposite to that.

It's why her high jump confession is the single greatest piece of characterization Rin receives in HF. It is the key to unlocking Rin as a character—not just in HF, but arguably in FSN as a whole. It is about who Rin is at her fundamental core.

And the HF films fucking ruin it.

How, exactly? Oh... let me count the ways.

Let us begin by analyzing the surrounding context of Rin's confession to Shirou in the VN, and then in HF. In the VN, Shirou has had sex with Sakura three times by then. The two of them are quite firmly in relationship territory; it is quite safe to say that, in fact, there's no chance whatsoever of Shirou's switching rails to court Rin instead. Rin and Shirou have spent an entire route interacting almost every single day with one another. The situation in the HGW has only gotten graver, with the Shadow having killed hundreds of people by then. When Rin gives Shirou what essentially amounts to an admission of her feelings for him, she is releasing pent up stress from the war, as well as seeking a resolution to her feelings... now that any chance of her being together with Shirou has essentially passed. It's a moment of vulnerability for Rin; it is important that it come during a period of high stress for the characters, stuck in the Emiya household as the world around them unravels and they have no means of achieving catharsis—especially given that Rin has interacted with Shirou enough, and has witnessed enough of his stubborn courage to save Sakura, for her to fall in love with him, while knowing there is no chance of her getting to consumate that love. Ironically, Shirou's unbridled displays of affection for Sakura charm Rin as well...

Now, essentially none of this holds true for the HF film trilogy. There are basically no scenes of Rin and Shirou interacting casually and bantering (read: flirting) with one another; the only time we ever see them interact is on the battlefield; Shirou and Sakura have not had any sex at all by that point; the confession itself occurs just after the Shadow kills Archer, as opposed to a prolonged and arduous period where the characters are left feeling helpless and powerless, completely come over with despair, their relationships with each other decaying ever and ever more. Simply put, the character has no actual reason to confess at all; Rin is a character who suppresses her emotions. Who was taught to see such human traits as a weakness that prevents one from becoming the truly amoral magus.

She also hasn't really been socialized like a normal person either—she feels awkward when trying to express her feelings, and her affection is clumsy. This really shows through in the way Rin behaves when she relays to Shirou her experience of the high jump; she's very clearly embarrassed. She is forcing herself to tell Shirou how she feels and she is clearly uncomfortable; constantly blushing, and with body language that conveys vulnerability. It's a moment that Rin takes very seriously—because Shirou isn't just a crush for her. He is the encapsulation of all that she pines for; he is her inspiration. That moment of his stubbornly refusing to back down meant a lot to her.

Not in HF2 of course! The worst film of the trilogy by far has her treat her single most precious memory as a fucking joke. Rin in the films is completely at ease when conveying the story to Shirou. She is upbeat and whimsy when retelling the events that are of concern; she has a smile all the way throughout her entire recollection. She even fucking chuckles as she's telling the story. And Shirou fucking laughs. He fucking laughs. In the VN, he is basically rendered speechless—he offers a few perfunctory observations of Rin and her emotional state to further articulate some of what Nasu probably felt could not be adequately conveyed through the dialogue, for the sake of the audience; but he does not offer any lengthy commentary on what Rin had said to him. He is so shocked by what he has heard that he really isn't capable of processing it. Because Rin Tohsaka just confessed to him. She obviously still means a lot to him, even in the routes where he doesn't fall in love with her; yet the film has him fucking laughing at the confession. And it only really helps to reinforce just how seriously Rin herself takes the conversation as well—not at fucking all. The film ironically takes Sakura's own biased perspective of the events in the VN at face value and adapts Rin as though she were an all-confident girl who keeps ignoring her suffering and desires—glossing over her own suffering, her own unique characterization, her own nuances, her own desires, her own dreams, her own conflicts, her own perspective.

And why? Why is the film adapted the way it is? Why is the high jump confession moved so much earlier in the story? What is its purpose in this heavily altered version of the story?

To lead to Sakura's stupid piece of shit sex scene.

That's it.

It's to allow a segue into a cheesy, superficial pandering piece of shitty fanservice—while also surgically removing any and all indication that Rin and Shirou like each other despite the latter's growing feelings for Sakura regardless of whether or not it negatively impacts the story; because Sakura's resentment of Rin's closeness and chemistry with Shirou is crucial to the escalation of the conflict between them. Because even putting aside the more nuanced aspects of her characterization, the films fail to coherently and successfully adapt even the most simplest of basics about her character either—Rin never acts cruel towards Sakura, she never belittles her, she never acts cold when interacting with her; it's the single most barebone adaptation that could've possibly been made. And frankly, the entire fight scene is fucking dogshit too, as is the hug between the sisters; it has none of the pathos and gravitas of the VN. The fact that there was no build up towards it scarcely helps it.

Even from the narrow perspective of the average moron who doesn't comprehend Rin in the slightest, the film still fails to capture of positives of their Rin, despite her being a dry, mediocre and ultimately shallow character.

Yet none complained; because they couldn't give less of a shit about Rin.

And thusly—Rin was reduced from an excellent, nuanced and thoroughly developed character, to naught but a prop that exists solely to make Sakura feel good. Rin has no existence, no characterization, no depth, outside of her being someone to stroke the ego of Sakura fans and their favourite character; a fucking comfort pillow.

And no-one cares—either because they are so deeply satisfied with the way Rin was handled in UBW, whether the route or the anime, (which, I honestly can't blame them) or they're fucking drooling morons who don't like her in the first place; if you don't like Rin in UBW, you don't like her at all. That's the simple truth of it all.

The thing about Rin in Heaven's Feel is that nobody actually gives a single fucking shit about her... except me.

I am tired like feeling I'm the only person who truly likes and appreciates this character.

I know it isn't true. I've spoken to plenty of people who have articulated and espoused many of the analyses I have written of the romance Rin has with Shirou, and how the way that Rin is written in HF helps add further depth to it retroactively. And yet... so much bullshit still pervades discussion of FSN online.

It really does pain me to see the way people discuss this wonderful, amazing character; to see her continually get reduced to being just Sakura's sister—while having the sheer audacity to believe and argue that UBW reduces Rin to just a "babysitter" for Shirou with nothing else truly defining her.

I am sick and fucking tired of seeing people talk about her the way they do.

I've come really to loathe and resent this moment. I really have.

It has completely distorted people's image of Rin. It has completely destroyed online discussion of Rin.

I've come to think that having her be the deuteragonist of FSN was not worth it at all; for all the sheer amount of depth she receives from being so, the amount of horrid takes that one is forced to sift through because of her arc in HF is too great a trade off for me. I sincerely think that shit takes about Rin online would have bee insanely more bareable had it not been for HF; had it only been people saying she received no development at all.

But you now what really fucking sickens me?

People who dare have the fucking GALL to express fucking "pity" for her.

"Oh I wish Nasu developed Rin a bit more in UBW she has no arc there!"

"I WANT to like Rin and she has great potential but it was squandered!"

"OOOH if Nasu does an FSN remake, he should rewrite UBW so Rin gets a whole lot more development there! It's an amazing opportunity!!!"

...just who the fuck are you to express pity for this character? You didn't even have enough respect for her to pay attention to a single one of her scenes in UBW or piece together how she works as a character. Nasu wrote an incredible nuanced arc for her and you didn't even have the basic decency to appreciate before thinking you have any fucking right to talk about how sad you feel for her because she got "shafted in her own route."

Go fuck yourself. Seriously, if you're reading this and you've any one of these opinions, I want you to know that I despise you and you should just shut the fuck up. Don't talk about Rin. Don't even fucking mention her. Don't look up art of her. Don't even fucking THINK about "handing it to her." You haven't got the fucking right. Your opinions are worth shit.

The thought of an FSN remake just makes my fucking stomach churn. The idea of Nasu rewriting UBW—which I quite honestly consider to be as close to perfection as a story can possibly get—feels me with terror and dread. I can only imagine how more fucking awful it would make discussion of Rin, UBW and her role in it and FSN as a whole. I can easily foresee; Nasu changing Rin's romance with Shirou to the point it's fucking unrecognizable. Just to pander to stupid motherfuckers who didn't like it in the first place. Adding a bunch of sappy, pukeworthy melodrama and lengthy monologues screaming the fucking themes and characterization in your face; as opposed to the subtle brilliance of UBW as it actually exists. Nasu is going to abandon people who actually liked Rin/Shirou and UBW for what is was... all to please people who never liked it, and never would have liked it in the first place. I am not sure I would be able to brave through all the braindead comments about how much fucking BETTER the remake's romance is than the original—all by people who liked that shitshow of romance in HF. And even worse? If Nasu does decide to leave UBW alone, then people are still going to be insanely insufferable. "Oh boo hoo, Nasu could've fixed the romance and Rin's character, but he didn't! Isn't that sad BOO HOO" Fuck off.

You know what I think? Rin shouldn't be in the fucking remake at all! Just remove her. Completely remove her from the story. Rin doesn't fucking exist. Replace her route with the Illya route. "But what happens to Archer?" I'm sure Nasu can think of something. Illya and Rin are actually quite similar; I'm certain some of the latter's functions in the story can be transplanted over to the former. But really—I don't care. The FSN fanbase does not deserve Rin. At all. They should not have the opportunity to even glance at her; clearly, she was too great for them to appreciate. I am sure some of the more vile pretend-fans lamenting her "getting shafted" will still sully her name by deigning to "pity" her; but at the very least this will be great way to spit in their fucking faces.

...

...

...

Frankly... there are some days where I wish Rin hadn't existed at all.

But I think there's a silver lining to all this.

Because I think seeing all this scum just completely misunderstand Rin has made me appreciate her romance with Shirou more—and how much he truly loves her.

Because anyone trying truly comprehend Rin in UBW and how the storytelling slowly unravels her nuances is relying almost wholly on storytelling conventions and tools which allows to deduce aspects of the characters by the very fact that we as an audience understand that we are experiencing a story; a story that has had many of its elements structured in a particular to produce a narrative that is compelling and involving. It is thus easier for us as viewers to realize things about the characters in a story than it is for others in a story to make the same realizations. It is easier for us to understand Rin, not only because we are allowed an objective birds eye view of the events, but also because Rin is actively being contrasted with Shirou. And taking Shirou's character traits into account allows us to make inferences about Rin. The two characters interplay with one another, and that allows us insight into both. There is also the fact that so much of what we know about Rin is revealed to us through Shirou, who in his dialogue and monologue describes so much of Rin's neuroses so amazingly well. As well as that we have a whole other route which further contextualizes Rin's behaviour. But Shirou himself of course exists within the confines of the narrative; he has no alternative set of events to compare how Rin behaves differently between both and why; and he has no narrator to point out to him Rin's flaws, her anxieties, her strengths and her inner conflict.

Shirou has no help over the course of the story. It's just him and Rin. He figures her all out... all on his own. Simply by being around—interacting with her, talking to her, fighting alongside her, observing her—he is able to peer deep into her heart and understand her even better than she does herself. He is able to achieve something people with far more information available to them were simply unable to do—and I think that that speaks as to just how much he just really loves her.

The FSN fanbase certainly doesn't deserve Rin, not at all; but Shirou most certainly does. I think that he's quite literally perfect for her.

And I wouldn't want it any other way.

I just love these two so damn much. Seeing them cute and happy together makes all the bullshit worthwhile in the end. I am so happy Fate/stay might exists. I am so happy the 2014 adaptation of UBW, which is what got me into Fate, exists. I never would have had the chance to be entranced by either of them.

They really are amazing, and deserve esch other.

[idrawvocaloid]

some of my favs from evillious chronicles :)

[manquesit0]

I absolutely despise Ma

[mx1odyy]

hahah im dying

[glassrednoshozo]

nemesis 🥺 I haven't drawn her in so long.. sorry about the anatomy it was a bit rushed 😭 I need to post more in here

[ladywindmasterr]

I honestly think that we as a fandom should talk more about the scene of the tailor of Enbizaka where Gakusha and Kokutan meet in front of Kayo's severed head and Kokutan starts sobbing and saying how he didn't even save her in the end and finally admits how she was the closest thing he had ever had to a mother

[darkstarbureau]

you know its getting bad when its devolved from listening to judgement of corruption, my fucking song, on loop. to the muzzle of nemesis. i have an inkling that something isnt right

[skyburger]

i did just manage to spend a little over two hours on and off (mostly on.) trying to find stupid connections to prove my theory that noriaki kakyoin and tatsuya sudou are actually twins but ive got pretty much nothing other than they're both born within a month of each other in the same year in japan. so like... you technically can't actually prove me wrong. like this could be canon who knows maybe araki and atlus have been collabing behind our backs for decades! who knows. anyway shoutout to all my fellas born in leo season of 1971

[darkstarbureau]

but wait! theres more!

The Barisol Family Tree, or, “Hey mothy? What the fuck?”

[thegreatsolaris]

Oooo drawing requests?? I love those!

May I request a doodle of my Narrator (or yours!) looking abso-fucking-lutely done with Stanley's bullshit? (✿❛◡❛)

How about a lil of both :) this was so fun! Love the freckles on your Stanley!

Friendly reminder to keep voting for sudou! For me ♡

[gece-misin-nesin]

11 about Levia for the ask game!

11. Forget the sex or die trope. This character must attempt to rob a bank or they will die. Do they succeed/how much do they get? (If you have extra time, what’s their plan? Who is their crew?)

Ok this is such a fun ask!! So obviously we have different answers based on which version of Levia it is.

Levia Barisol:

She would make an incredibly meticulous plan and still somehow fail because her life is a cosmic joke. Or she pulls it off perfectly. Depends on how her interactions with Rahab have been going lately.

She goes alone but Behemo tags along to annoy her to death. Peak sibling behavior.

Or she could have others do her bidding, probably not very successfully because Levia's social skills are like...level -999

If she doesn't fail, she probably steals a fair amount.

Elluka Clockworker

THE most obvious robbery ever. You can literally notice it's happening from 2 cities over. She just storms the place. 0 impulse control. Probably does not give any fucks about how the robbery actually goes but will do it to not die.

Depending on the year, either Gumillia is with her (thus saving the operation) or Leonhart and Mariam. They probably succeed. Either way the robbery is incredibly lackluster and very much improvised.

Note: The reason the robbery sucks is %50 because Elluka is incompetent asf (source: the entire series. Love her but she's a girlfailure) and %50 because of her personality.

Nemesis Sudou

Girl was part of a gang basically her entire childhood. She HAS robbed banks before. Didn't she and Zeus sink that boat to steal gold lol? Realistically she's either with the Zeus gang or alone. Maybe some PN members if it's a PN thing. Succeeds.

Completely dries out the place.

I'm not smart enough to plan a successful bank robbery so you're on your own for that one lol

[chancellorxofxtrash]

Narumi Akiko 🤝 Shijima Kiriko 🤝 Sudou Mei

Girls who really fucking should have gotten their rider forms because this is ridiculous

(Honorable mentions: Izumi Hina, Satonaka Erika, and I am probably forgetting others)

(Extra honorable mentions: Asou Yuri, Asou Megumi, because what the fuck was THAT)

[typellblog]

alright i finished my HF rewatch last night so time to talk about the adaptation, specifically scenes that were cut or changed

gonna be focusing mostly on illya and kirei as i like them and they got done the dirtiest

other characters to consider here are rin, sakura, shirou

rin i think was served well in these movies considering that she's a secondary character with a relatively straightforward role

sakura and shirou are two of the most complex characters in the entire novel, and inevitably some of that is going to be lost in translation, but Sudou heavily focused on ensuring Sakura was not misunderstood and that really shows. as a result there isn't much to talk about with those two in regards to cut content

for illya, though -

the first thing to note here is that she's almost entirely absent from the first movie asides from her initial appearance to fuck shirou up (which is altered slightly w/ her appearing earlier and actually talking to saber outside the church, i liked this change)

but yeah the first movie adapts up to roughly day 9 of the novel, which should include shirou meeting illya on days 5, 6 and 7

instead what happens is that the FIRST meeting with illya occurs in the second movie

now i'd say this adaption of the first meeting is alright, we have shirou's initial hesitation because of her trying to kill him earlier (altho he's a bit more forceful in the VN and illya has to ask whether he hates her or not which is a nice parallel to their first meeting in the Fate route).

the interesting bit here is the ending - shirou asks if she knows kiritsugu and her face goes blank and she walks off

this happens in the VN but what happens next is that Shirou asks illya if he can meet her again. illya is somewhat surprised and mollified by this and as a result tells shirou that she does in fact know kiritsugu - she wants revenge against him and shirou.

this leads really nicely into their second meeting where illya is actually surprised that shirou would turn up after hearing that

it establishes illya's internal conflict between wanting to see shirou but also wanting to kill him/having the duty towards the grail war

she tries to distance herself from him by admitting her real objective but shirou meets her anyway because he can see that she doesn't really mean it - if she actually wanted to kill shirou she could just do it then and there

the rest of their second meeting is taken up by illya showing shirou the way to her castle by projecting his consciousness which is neat but largely cuttable (although it does have a brief moment of illya acting in a older sister-like way towards shirou, which is always nice to set up for later)

the important part here is really that they're having multiple meetings at all, that they're building a relationship alongside whatever shirou is doing with sakura and rin

but the thing is that in the movies the last part of their first meeting is cut - illya doesn't admit to wanting to kill shirou or knowing kiritsugu

this is saved for the next time they meet in the movies which is when shirou is wandering around in the rain wondering what to do about sakura

basically their more extensive relationship in the novels is turned into this 2 beat thing where 1. illya is kind to shirou but scared off by the name of kiritsugu and 2. illya admits that she wanted to kill shirou because of kiritsugu but now she's totally on his side

indeed the dialogue kind of implies she's on his side because he's trying to save sakura, when what's really going here is that he hasn't made the decision yet but she's unconditionally on his side anyway, due to the bond they formed in previous meetings

illya knows that shirou is a kind person who tries to help those close to him. that's really all she needs to like him and seeing someone have that much faith and support for him is part of what prompts shirou to do the same for sakura. i'm worried this isn't conveyed as effectively in the movie version

the thing is that their third meeting (before this one) is actually really important

shirou forgets to come to the park so illya chases after him. she's actually mad he forgot about it instead of being surprised he'd bother with her at all. she's quick to accuse him of being a liar and breaking his promise because she's used to people betraying and abandoning her. shirou has to try and make it up to her (if you choose the wrong option here she actually bad ends you in your next meeting)

there are two versions of this scene, one where shirou invites her back to his house and they go on a quick tour that ends with illya crying when she realises kiritsugu really isn't there anymore. she's alienated from her emotions, surprised to see her own tears

the other i'd consider more important - shirou promises to be illya's 'servant' and follow an order from her. it turns out that all she wants is to go shopping together

what illya wants is a normal family life that she's been denied for so long, and the tragic thing about that scene is that she still can't have it, she still has to put on a strong face and pretend to be happy even as they both realise that once this is over they'll have to go back to being enemies. this is where shirou realises that her usual persona is something of an act and she's actually far more resigned to despair than any other character in the story

this scene is remarkably similar to another scene that comes up later (which is also cut from the movies lmao) called Lorelei - it occurs after Illya gets rescued and is living with Shirou. Here, they also go shopping. Here, shirou also questions illya's cheerful facade. But this time he actively asks whether illya wants to stay at his place after the war, and she has to confirm to him that like him and sakura, she's basically doomed. her lifespan isn't that long. the difference is that nobody is trying to save her in the way that she wants to save shirou or shirou wants to save sakura.

some of that dialogue is put into the movies near the end, when shirou is about to leave to go fight sakura. it's a nice little movie-original moment, with illya having shirou lean down so she can pat his head, and re-emphasizes the elder sister-like tone of her half-joking request to 'bring sakura home with him before it gets dark'. that line is really elevated in this context, it's a good change

but the subsequent stuff just doesn't hit as hard without the full awareness of illya as a tragic character, someone who fully accepted her role as a grail, who accepted that she was going to be used by zouken and sakura, who shirou has to actively try and convince to not give up on her life, and in the end only comes to save him because of that influence

there are a few other illya scenes that are skipped during the day 11-14 period (i.e. second half of movie 2). none of them are terribly important but i think taken together you begin to see that illya is almost as important to shirou as sakura, that he's aware of her nature as a homunculus and as the grail and as someone who had a very strong reason to want to kill him - and he doesn't care. he still sees her as a person

now i want to talk about kirei for a bit but hopefully i get back to illya before the end

all of kirei's important scenes are there in the movies in some form, but a lot of important dialogue gets lost

when shirou goes to see him in the church the second time, after fighting rider, the focus is on kiritsugu (which is admittedly important) but we lose kirei's 'advice' to shirou, when he expresses discomfort at the whole concept of the grail war. he says that everyone has wishes that they want to fulfill, that even in everyday life people fight to do so. obtaining the grail is simply a shortening of that process, a completely natural action. for kirei, fighting and trampling over other people's wishes is only a matter of course. the most 'worthy' is the one that obtains the grail in the end

i think this is an interesting piece of characterisation for him, and he feels flatter without it

similarly, the mapo tofu scene is changed quite significantly, as it's moved to the second movie when normally it would be within the parts covered by the first. as a result, much of their conversation is taken up by talk of the Shadow (which hadn't been revealed fully before then) rather than the more interesting part in the VN, Kirei's discussion of his wish for the grail.

he says he doesn't have a wish but a goal, that his goal is pointless if he achieves it himself, and then goes on to compare himself to shirou, saying that as neither of them have clear wishes, they can't reach salvation.

i think this is actually key to understanding both kirei's motivations and the similarity between him and shirou - neither of them really know what they would use the grail for. kirei knows that he desires despair and destruction, but what he really wants is to know whether a broken person like himself has the right to exist

shirou knows that he wants to save people, but he can't just use the grail to wish for people to be saved - he wants to become a hero himself.

moving along, kirei's backstory is also heavily truncated, skipping over much of the discussion of his childhood. i find this part interesting in the VN because it notes that the real issue for him was not his twisted nature directly, but rather his common sense that made him realise his feelings were unnatural and wrong. if he had been a pure kind of evil, unaffected of the opinions of society, created specifically for the purpose of causing destruction - in other words, like the Angra Mainyu that he is trying to make Sakura give birth to in HF - would he still have regrets? would he be able to forgive himself?

the second part of his backstory occurs during his fight with Assassin, where he reminisces about his wife, who killed herself to prove that he loved her, but failed, as he didn't feel sad because of her death, instead wishing to have been the one to kill her

the details are all the same in the VN (but note that 1. he was on the point of killing himself before claudia did the same and 2. her death was what put him on the path of embracing villainy. this is relevant because her death did actually have a massive effect on his life, if she meant to stop him from killing himself with it then it worked)

however, the narration is much less clear about the verdict, here. the movie narration ends with 'i wanted to kill her myself'. fade to black, question closed.

in the VN the question of whether i really loved her is something that continues to pursue kirei even into the present day. he tries not to think about it, because despite everything he doesn't want to consider her death as worthless

the thing about having kirei as a parallel to shirou in Heaven's Feel of all routes is that this is the one where Shirou abandons the part of his nature which Kirei considers similar to himself

and so the question remains of whether kirei could do the same. he doesn't, of course. the time has long since passed. claudia was his sakura.

but when he confronts shirou in that underground cavern you have to understand him as someone who failed to do something that shirou is currently risking his life for

this, really, is the point of their fight. Kirei insists they are the same. he likes doing that, because it makes him feel a bit less alone in the world.

kirei has this line in the VN that goes something like 'this fight is pointless, because we're both going to die anyway. neither of us have a purpose or a wish to be fulfilled at the end, we're just following the same empty way of life that we've had all this time'

but shirou knows they're not. he's fighting for something beyond himself. he wants to protect sakura, not simply destroy angra mainyu.

in the VN kirei is absolutely kicking shirou's ass. it's not even close. Shirou is hard to kill because his body is literally made of swords, but kirei completely outclasses him in terms of physical ability.

the fight is not about overcoming kirei, its about shirou being able to overcome himself and endure longer than kirei does. in the VN what gives him this burst of strength is memories of sakura.

shirou can't die if he wants to save sakura. sakura can't be happy without him. that's the point of the kirei fight, it's why it doesn't appear if you're on the road to the normal ending, it's the thing that shirou can only overcome if he wants to live

does this come across in the movie version at all? i struggle to imagine it

and it's vitally important to the next scene as well, where illya steps in to save him. the whole point is that shirou learns the value of his own life and is capable of honestly wishing to live because he finally, finally gets the point that other people care about him too, and would be hurt if he was gone

the resolution of Heaven's Feel, and Fate/Stay Night as a whole, is in Shirou learning to be a person rather than a sword, realising that the kind of hero he wants to be is one who protects the people he loves

sakura, in this route, is afraid of hurting shirou, but not just on a physical level - she admires his heroism, she sees a great inner strength in him, and she thinks that if she makes him pick her over everyone else that part of him will be broken

shirou is the one that has to walk towards her, while sakura attempts to push him away with self-deprecating words, even though she deeply needs him to save her

this dynamic is given physical expression in the final liberation scene, after sakura and rin's fight is over

angra mainyu attacks shirou, trying to push him away as sakura can no longer fully control it. she's afraid of hurting him so she tells him to leave, that she can die on her own

and the tendrils skid off shirou harmlessly. his body is almost completely metal, now. he can endure most things

shirou comes right up to sakura, and with a smile on his face tells her that it's alright, that he's doing this because he wants to, that he's not breaking himself for her, this is actually the purest possible expression of his ideals

in the VN, you don't get to see shirou very often. you constantly look out at the world from shirou's PoV, are confronted with the faces of everyone besides him - people he has to fight, people he has to save

and here, in the culmination of three routes' worth of character development, he turns around and looks directly at the reader, the first time we see him smiling

they don't include a reproduction of this CG in the movie. i guess it wouldn't really have the same impact.

still, i'm a bit sad about it

[narrators-journal]

Eeee I love the king Leo! Tatsuya Suou so far surely part 3 with smut in it

Okay, so this still might be a lil jank, but I hope it’s good. Shockingly! When I don’t overthink things, they’re far easier to write, and hopefully make good. I hope this scratches your itch, homie! I might need some work on honing Joker’s personality, but I feel like I did my best to keep him consistent between this and the previous ask. I might be a lil rusty on interconnecting works tho…

Either way! Hope this is a fun read, thanks for the ask, and I’m very glad you’re loving this AU! Wish I could take credit for actually cooking it up, but rip lmao.

CW: dubious consent, blowjobs, light bondage (if you count the tail as bondage), face fucking, teratophilia, annnnd I think that’s it!

Tatsuya had been King Leo for at least a month now, he knew damned well what ‘attention’ Joker wanted from him in exchange for the few days of peace he’d been given. Yet, it still took the brunette until he saw the doors to the ravenette’s bedchambers for him to get that familiar melancholy knot in his belly. “Oh fuck no.” He muttered, getting his arm free of the demon’s grip, “I’ve already given you plenty of attention tonight, I’m not going to-” “I feel like you’ve been here a while, so you’re forgetting just what position you are in.” Joker said in a suddenly chill tone before the man’s argument finished leaving his mouth. The chill underneath Jun’s familiar, airy voice like a curb underneath his motorcycle tire. “You, my cursed star, are here to protect your friends and postpone my plans. You are barely above the new shiny toy in my toybox, Suou.” As he said it, he kept up Jun’s voice, and fixed the tall man with a colder look he hadn’t gotten since that cursed night a while back. “If you annoy me, or you so much as bore me. I will discard you, just like the original King Leo. Your prettier face will not save you forever.”

That point made the tall persona user grimace at the demon, who just returned his dark expression with a sugary sweet smile before he all but threw him into the bedroom. No care given to whether the candles that sat on the dresser and bedside table would be knocked over or snuffed out by the collision of the man’s body with the metal floor. “Now, behave and get against the wall so I can suck your dick without you fucking up my comforter. If you listen well enough, you can keep going without your collar.” Joker hummed, the snarl the wildcard gave barely acknowledged, their shared lack of clothes equally ignored as the demon herded the brunette to the wall.

And, Tatsuya didn’t know what to do other than listen. The cult leader’s words still bounced around his head, the way the demon commanded him with Jun’s airy voice stirred up lascivious desires that kept him unbalanced as he scrambled up and back up into the brick facade Sudou had likely put up for the demon he worshipped. With how long he’d been on Joker’s leash, he really should have been more stable in this situation.

But, he wasn’t. His thoughts were sent up into a panicked tizzy when Joker had basically threatened his friends again, and the sight of a familiar ravenette on his knees in front of him on the abandoned factory’s floor seemed to take that burst of physical arousal as an opening. “W-woah, hey wait.” He stammered, his face far too hot for the creature that wanted him dead only a month ago. Yet, when he tried to push the demonic man away from him, that cursed flower-tipped tail captured his hands in a flash. “I don’t think I will. You’re very cute when you finally get flustered.” He hummed, his lips a breath away from Tatsuya’s stomach, just close enough to let the wildcard feel his breaths tickle over his sun-kissed skin before he began to mouth over his abdomin.

And, while it didn’t actually burn, the scatter-brained man still hissed into the hyperactive shadows of the cult leader’s ornate bedchamber. The small collection of candles that dotted the room fed by the guilty thrum of excitement that flooded into his blood. Shit...Shit, shit, shit. This is so wrong, this fucker tried to kill me! He told himself in an attempt to slow his heart rate and cool his tanned cheeks. Yet, that was near impossible to do when the demon’s lips continued to leave a playful trail of warm kisses and nips from his naval to the base of his semi-hard cock.

Yet, between the brick facade built onto the metal walls of the room, the fantasy of it truly being Jun, and the serpent-scaled tail that squeezed bruises onto his wrists, he couldn’t seem to pull away. “Ju-Joker...stop.” He tried, though the words felt like stones on his tongue, and did nothing but earn a small growl. “Master. I am Master Joker, to you, King Leo.” into Tatsuya’s skin. The animalistic threat mixed with the force in his words to draw out a reluctant shudder from the taller man. Which, the demon took as the green light to wrap his fingers around his base so that he could move his lips to the tip and lap up the bead of precum that was there despite the brunette’s best efforts.

And, the wildcard wished he could say that he hated it. Part of him wanted to, he wanted to be disgusted by the deft way that the dark-haired doppleganger swirled his slick tongue around the sensitive head of his length. He didn’t want to enjoy the way the ravenette so eagerly took his thick member into his mouth without hesitation.

But, he knew how to keep his teeth the perfect distance away from the blood-sink of an organ to give a thrill of danger without damage, and the suction torturously light while he gently bobbed his head and stroked the neglected parts he’d yet to reach. And, while the brunette knew it wasn’t really him, it was all too easy to pretend it was Jun who had his lips wrapped around the tip of the wildcard’s cock. The ease of everything was humiliating...

Tatsuya Suou was a wildcard, after all. Joker had possessed his childhood friend’s body to torment him for a sin he barely remembered, he’d tried to kill him. Any sensible man would’ve fought the ravenette’s advances tooth and nail because of those factors. Any stronger man. But, despite how powerful Vulcanus was, Tatsuya’s willpower and distaste for the man was blown away like a pile of leaves in a hurricane. All it had taken was some butterfly kisses down his body, attention to the head of his dick, and gentle suction, and suddenly the cool, sturdy brick of the wall was the best anchor the persona user had against himself.

Get it together, Suou. You’ve done this before it’s not- J-Jesus fuck… His thoughts seemed to flicker and dim like the scentless candles in the bedchambers with them despite the fact that the demon had barely begun to toy with him. His thoughts already felt like smoke, and his dick already felt ready to pop like a water balloon. So, when the cult leader sunk further onto his length, the brunette couldn’t stop a moan that made the candles flare and sputter.

Which, the demon was quick to notice. Tatsuya knew he had the second he could feel his lips twitch around him in yet another smug smile. And, while he didn’t pull away to say anything, the wildcard could almost hear him taunting him for each reluctant shudder and small noise that the tan man let slip. Simultaneously, though, the demon rewarded those noises with another inch or so sucked into the moist warmth, or another spit-slickened pump of his hand.

Until something in his belly snapped like a rubberband. Before he could scrape together another thought, his fingers were tangled in the demon’s damp locks. Which, Joker didn’t mind, the only real complaint he gave was a startled gagging noise that melted into a moan when the brunette took over the pace. And, while the dark-haired demon kept his flower-tipped tail tightly around the wildcard’s wrists, he rested his hands on his thighs and just moaned happily as the taller man’s chase for release overrode any annoyance or conflict he had.

But, the persona user didn’t care about that very much anymore. All he cared about was the delicious vibration that rattled him whenever the demon moaned, or the way his tongue continued to press against his cock as he humped needily into his mouth. I’m like a damned dog humping someone’s leg… A more reasonable voice whispered in the tall man’s head, having somehow survived the flames that vaporized his other thoughts aside from a more carnal Shut the hell up. that snapped back at that voice. Which, seemed to silence what remained of his shame beneath the carnal need. Until, finally, that horrible bubble of need burst in the man’s belly. “F-fuck…” Tatsuya growled, his eyes squeezed shut to let the pulses of warmth wash over him. His grip on the doppleganger’s inky hair tightened, but the demon made no move to pull away when cum poured down his throat. In fact, if anything, he seemed to lean into him more, and only dislodged his hands from his hair when the brunette’s cock stopped twitching and throbbing. “See? Was that so bad, Leo?~” Joker purred, his tongue swiped over his lips as if he didn’t want a drop of cum to escape him, his vibrant cerulean eyes glittering with amusement and satisfaction as he watched the the wildcard scrape his composure back together so that he didn’t slide down the wall bonelessly. “You drugged me…” he muttered, though his mouth now felt dry, “I did not,” was Joker’s simple giggle as he stood up to finally pull on his pajamas for the night. “You just like me sucking your dick.” “Not that much.” Tatsuya argued, but the ravenette simply ordered, “Don’t put my candles out, King Leo.” No need to fight the man’s words, since the truth hung in the air with the scent of candle wax and fire. So, he simply pulled on a silk pajama shirt and some underwear to climb into bed. “Now, come on, Tacchi. Bed time.”

[hotfudgecherryrosy]

best way to learn how to empathize with a fictional character is be them in a dream. fucking insane!

i was nemesis sudou last night that was wild. except my subconscious always messes with the evillious lore. But it was stil wild

[ann3ofabyss4lred]

Udpate:

look who shares MBTI according to the personality database.

"Muzzle of nemesis"(nemesis no juuko)" by GUMI. (Without counting all the evillious saga) gaves massive stan marsh vibes and in this post i'll explain why it does (to me)

In a burning building, Nemesis Sudou approaches her father, pointing a gun at him, while she thinks of her mother and tries to recall all the events that drove her to seek revenge against the man. She gave him the opportunity to choose the way he would die:

1. Receiving a shot in the forehead.

2. Getting burned by the flames inside the house.

After that, she asks her mom if any shitty person deserves a chance of redemption, so she offers him the chance to payback all the people he hurt in exchange for sparing his life, but the man refuses, which angers her and she says, "You are really trash."

She notices how the man treats the doll as if it were her dead older sister, and she declares he has gone insane. Bidding her father farewell, she wonders why her mother loved such a man. Then process to sh*t him. 

Come on, this fits him a lot, especially in the Post covid especial. If this doesn't give u stanley marsh vibes idk what else does..

God I wish I knew how to draw, so i could make an au, but I don't even know how to draw digital,fuck it!

If someone makes a fanfic, a drawing based on this,just saying, you doing great.