#fuck propaganda just show me some vaguely gay boys

[traiteursroe]

Sometimes I forget the military isn’t all fun times and fun people with like some combat. Like my friend in ROTC just sent me a text saying she had to sign a paper saying where her money goes if she dies 😭

[bronanlynch]

weekly (monthly?) media roundup

ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,

listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR

reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.

above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)

you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter

watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick

Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog

Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship

SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda

My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl

Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you

on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit

The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them

Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though

playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime

also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)

making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture

Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs

writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[yurigoggles]

Joker [Movie]

  JOKER

Joker is not only the greatest origin movie I have ever seen, it is not only a villain origin movie, but it is also a great hero origin movie and thus by extension, it is also a great origin movie for the greatest antagonistic relationship in all of comic books!

For dear Readers who are scratching your heads wondering why this movie is here, it is no secret that I love comic books and CBM, I mean, I am only alive currently, right? In all seriousness, I do love comics, I think everyone grew up with some kind of comics. Yeah, sure I have more manga in my collection than DC/Vertigo/Titan comics but believe you me, I am a die hard fan of Batman and everything Batman! Well, not everything (see Batman/Catwoman relationship…bleh)

Which brings me to this movie JOKER. If someone is going to sit there and they are fans of Batman but don’t have this movie in their top movies of their CBM list, please don’t let me know because I will do everything to ignore you from now on!

Another point, JOKER is a true comic book movie! It is more movie than comic (like Batman v Superman, The Dark Knight) but that is more because the director (Mr Todd Phillips) actually gave a fuck about what they were doing and made a true to god film, based on a character from comic books!

There is no live action CB reality where this Joker can fit in except the original DCEU world. Hey, there is one point to add to my list as to why American beta critics hate this movie so much! Speaking of which, all this propaganda about the violence in this movie? Like WTF, you all need to watch more movies! If there was a list of violent movies, Joker doesn’t even make it in the top 20%! It is so tame all these loud mouths must be having their adult movie cherries popped or something! Seriously, like, it is even rated 16 here, that’s teen years like…

Any way, what a movie! It starts slow, and so blank that I gave up at one point looking for Easter Eggs because I surrendered to there being none. Big Mistake! If you have seen every Batman movie there is to see and you are a Batman fan, you are going to be grinning from ear to ear in that third act! It is not my character but I nearly stood up and fuckin hollered in the cinema at one point!

Speaking of hollering, this movie is actually pretty funny! Not in the *brunch* kind of funny but more like in the Snyder kind of funny! Yes, I am saying that you all fellow Cultists, this movie is basically for yous all! You have to go watch this movie if only to thank Mr Phillips for fighting the good fight! Hell, I shudder to think what kind of Batman this Bruce will grow up to be! Jesus!

Speaking of that, you can’t mention Joker without bringing up Batman! While I am lost as to what they did with the Batmobile that we saw on set of the movie, this movie had waaaay more Bruce than I was anticipating! And I don’t even mean to show off but when I watched the trailer and saw Arthur with that boy (the one he forced to smile), I fuckin knew it was Bruce Wayne! And yes, that was Bruce Wayne!

And yes, when I mentioned this was also a great hero origin movie, I was talking about Batman of course! Yes, they were killed, again, and I have to confess right here, I have always been lost as to why his parents got gunned down like so. All the previous reasons we got never quite clicked with me! There was always a vagueness about it! Also, I always had this urge to know why they were killed! I always had an inkling that maybe they weren’t such good people as they have always been made out to be! Billionaires like themselves in times like those, that money had to have been made on top of some skulls and I finally got that side of the story touched upon in this movie!

Perhaps it’s the saying that every person is a hero of their own story but scratch that, the world in this movie supported the theory that these Waynes were dicks! Bruce himself and even Alfred (I think that was him) were also proof that they were dicks! Bruce looked like what most movie rich kids look like, totally depressed and sad and lonely, something that always points to cold parents!

Speaking of the Waynes, there was this thread that ended up being left to the viewer to decide if it was true or not but at one point, it was made out to be that Arthur is actually Thomas Wayne’s son and that after some legal things went down, they decided to keep that life a secret! So his mother kept sending these letters to Thomas Wayne in order to get help in their hard times and one night Arthur opens one of the letters before it was sent out and finds out that he was an abandoned son.

I so fuckin wanted that to be true because can you imagine the implications of that when Bruce grows up to become Batman and has to fight Joker?!! But from the looks of things, I think they decided to go with it being a lie and Arthur’s mother being insane which I think is a complete waste! I mean it’s not like they were going to make a universe out of that so what if they were related? I could have read those fan fics so damn hard!

I still will, if there is some sane people that decide to do them!

And speaking of that, remember the Easter Eggs I was talking about? If you watch this movie and don’t get the connection with Batman v Superman, you failed! All I could think of was Wally Keith and his letters/checks from Bruce which were meant to help him while here Arthur’s mother kept sending letters to Thomas asking for help but either none got anything or the receiver kept rejecting them (MoSAnswers has the theory that Wally got the checks but kept sending them back)

Speaking of Easter Eggs, there are others, like Arthur’s name which we all know (A. Fleck as in Ben Afleck, get it?), then when Joker went on Robert De Niro’s Live TV and just before he was cut off, he almost said Ledger Joker’s line. Also when he was getting a ride on a police car afterwards, he looks like both Ledger and Let’s Jokers in cars! Heck, even the interview where he was asked if the chaos was his plan and he asked if he looked like a guy with a political agenda, almost like, yep, Joker asking Dent if he looked like a guy with a plan!

And then the McGuffin of all Easter eggs – The Death of the Waynes! Heck, that was no Easter Egg, that was the real shit! In fact that scene had two other BvS eggs, one being the Zorro movie showing, though I think it was coming soon in BvS? No, it was Now Showing and Excalibur was the one coming soon! Here though thehre was a twist. It wasn’t The Mask of Zorro but rather some title that went something like, Zorro; The Gay Something…I forgot the what the last word was. Believe you me, I want to watch that gay version of Zorro! And no, I am not making things up!

In fact the killing joke (heh couldn’t resist), I mean the last joke that made the Joker laugh was in fact the birth of The Batman! No idea how he would know or why he was 4th wall breaking but they made a point of showing Bruce standing over his parents’ bodies and to bring my point about the Waynes here back, he wasn’t crying over them like all the other interpretations. One can argue about it being shock of it all but I think there passed enough time for him to at least get on his knees and cry out in despair.

But he didn’t!

Hence why I am scared to think of what kind of Batman this Bruce would become! Just thinking about the Gotham he is going to grow up in…Jesus!

Which brings me to another thing, this movie is also the origin of the Gotham that we know, the Gotham that is a dumpster fire, the Gotham that will need a Batman unlike the one we have ever seen before, well, partially with BvS Batman after the Black Zero event! That Batman is the Batman that this Bruce will be since the moment he is born! But he will be necessary with the type of villains he will be dealing with if his Joker is this kind of Joker!

God, I love this movie! I love it so much it made it on this site! So forgive me dear Readers, I just can’t contain the love!

Best! Movie! Of! The! YEAR!

Ja

  JOKER [Movie]   JOKER Joker is not only the greatest origin movie I have ever seen, it is not only a villain origin movie, but it is also a great hero origin movie and thus by extension, it is also a great origin movie for the greatest antagonistic relationship in all of comic books!