#fuck off torrent

[defness]

FIRST

[calamitouscynic]

im not going to apologize for anything that comes out of my queue except to say be glad i shuffled it

[sienne-k]

i just spent the whole three days of the easter hols devouring akai x furuya fanfiction in a fugue state and i am not in an emotionally stable mood to go to work tomorrow

like no regrets 10/10 would do it again, i'm just saying reading fanfic should occur in a separate time dimension so that i could have read all the fic i did and still have three days off work to recuperate and nurse my bleeding heart and pick up my damaged brain so that i can actually function tomorrow and not accidentally start sobbing and freak out my boss

[dennisboobs]

i accidentally didn't sleep because i was talking about dennis and now i've accidentally started making an edit

[lttleghost]

FUCKING WINTER LANTERNS AGAIN?

okay I can't be mad at this concept being re-used the lead-up to them was neat and eerie and they work a lil different but like oooh my god

[running-in-the-dark]

.

[s0dium]

Warning: Gojo fucking you in his domain

You are suspended in the celestial infinity of Unlimited Void, your senses ensnared in the vast expanse that mirrors outer space itself.

Oh, and you are being fucked.

Stars and distant galaxies cast a surreal glow, as raw, boundless information floods your mind, yet in this bewildering cosmos, you are not alone. Gojo, stands ontop of you, inside of you, his touch a grounding force against the sensory torrent threatening to consume you.

"Come one baby stay with me, I know you feel good I know."

You cant even open your mouth to respond. Gojo's presence becomes the eye of your storm. His fingers brush against yours, and the chaos that raged within you calms instantly; his touch shields you from the domain's crippling effect.

Now, all you can focus on is the feeling of euphoria coming from your core. Each of his thrusts, every time he drags his dick in and out of you, it is enough to send you to a euphoric grave. His rhythm is slow, and careful, treating you like you are glass that could break at any second. But his thrust are hard, the tip of his dick hitting a spot inside of you with such perfection your toes curl from the pleasure.

Gojo's eyes, those endless pools of blue, lock onto yours, and in this realm where time and reality seem to bend, he leans in. The kiss is a contradiction—both a surge of adrenaline and a peace beyond measure. Pleasure, intense and unbridled, washes over you, each sensation amplified by the void that engulfs you both but cannot touch your shared moment.

"God you are so beautiful." He murmurs and you almost cum right there and then from his words. And you do. As your nerves ignite and you fall off the cliff of pleasure, you can feel him, really feel him. Feel the twitch of his member inside you, feel his length scrape against your walls with delicious friction. Your tongue falls out of your mouth and your eyes roll back. Your whole body experiences this orgasm with such unbridled force that you shake. It's maddening. It's euphoric. It's him.

[defness]

so, I've spent the last little while figuring out Sea's ass. cuz I've had nothing better to do, so allow me to show my work

(this is canonical dimensions for Sea, as Def did say to me he's inconsistant)

Sea is 6'8, weighing 300 pounds. base weight would be 220, but obviously, the ass adds 80 extra pounds.

using a sideview Def provided for me, (thank you) I opened up Gimp and promptly began measuring the sideview, waiting a good while to actually resize the image to 6'8.

I measured ass-to-thigh, and ass-to-back, and so the width of his ass-to-thigh would be 16 inches wide at 13 inches tall, if we were doing it that way. if I put the marker below his ass and one above his ass, his ass in total would be again, 13 inches tall.

so we have our answer. for the most part. we dont know how thicc he is. so I promptly did that using a front view that was a little bit crispy, but it got the job done for the most part.

I put a measure across his waist, and his waist would be 17 inches wide. quite thicc still. doesn't add up in any way, but whatever.

now, for the question everybody has been DYING to know; HOW THICC IS HE?!

well goddamn, hold on, I'm at that point now!

in total, his thiccness is:

4O INCHES WIDE

you're all welcome.

Thank you for your service <3

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

hate when your bank's like "thats a suspicious purchase" and youre like,,, yeah, yeah it is. youre correct, but please approve it anyway.

anyway, for anyone in the uk (maybe elsewhere idk) who wants a ps5, you can get them for £429.99 plus shipping on Game today and it comes with the new fifa game and an extra product on top for free.

[dolcettamagica]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥

ceo!sukuna x secretary!reader, modern au

tags: degradation, daddy kink, dirty talk, fingering, spanking, true form sukuna notes: minors dni, one sequel to "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘉𝘦 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘴𝘴" - you decided to not text your boss Sukuna wc: 1.3k

Sukuna was fuming with rage as he sat at his work desk, eyes glued on his door waiting for you to finally come in. He gave you his private number, a number no one got (since he mainly fucked women at work anyway) and you didn’t call him? Not even bother to sent a message? Did you even save his number? Sukuna's rage was a tempest, a storm swirling within him, threatening to burst forth and consume everything in its path. His fists clenched so tight that his knuckles turned bone-white, his jaw tensed, muscles coiling like springs ready to snap. Each breath he took felt like fire searing his lungs, fueling the inferno of his fury.

It wasn't just anger; it was a primal force, raw and unbridled. How could you crawl over to him like a slut and then just ghost him. After he left the bar he couldn’t even get his cock soft – it waited to be buried deep inside your cunt. Suddenly (and finally) his door opened and you walked into the room, your eyes staring at the floor.

“Good morning, sir”, you greeted him sheepishly.

“Lock the fucking door and come over here, now.”

Your boss didn’t even bother to hide his anger and you were smart enough not to question his mood. Without a word you walked over to his desk. His red eyes were burning holes into your skin.

“Why didn’t you text me? I told you to do that”, Sukuna stood up, his fingers tapping on his wooden desk as he moved closer to you.

“I don’t think that would have been appropriate, sir.”

As the words hit his ears, a surge of anger coursed through Sukuna's veins like a bolt of lightning. The sentence struck him with the force of a physical blow. His jaw clenched so tight it felt as though his teeth might shatter under the pressure. A torrent of emotions roiled within him, a turbulent sea of indignation and frustration threatening to engulf him entirely. How could you dare utter such words, he seethed inwardly, feeling his temper flare hotter with each passing moment. Every fiber of his being screamed for retribution, for a release of the pent-up rage festering within him. Yet, beneath the anger, there simmered a sense of hurt, a wounded pride that stoked the flames of his fury even higher.

“Inappropriate, huh?” Sukuna's heart pounded with an adrenaline-fueled rhythm as he pressed you against his workdesk, his palm firmly planted beside you, caging you in. The suddenness of his action caught you off guard, your eyes widening in surprise before a flicker of excitement danced within you. His gaze bore into yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine, a silent declaration of desire. The scent of your perfume filled his senses, intoxicating him further as he leaned in.

“You know what’s inappropriate? All the times you went on break just to rub your little pussy after I praised you. The way you press your legs together in an attempt to not cum all over the place after I yell at colleagues who fuck up their work. You think I’m dumb, little one?”

Sukuna's lips grazed your neck, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. The faintest touch of his lips against your skin ignited a fire within you, a wave of sensation coursing through your body like electricity. His kisses were rough and urgent, each one leaving a trail of heat in its wake. His grip tightened on your arm, a rough urgency in his movements as he spun you around, your back now pressed firmly against Sukuna’s chest. The suddenness of his action caused your breath to catch in your throat, your heart racing with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. His touch was possessive yet intoxicating, sending a jolt of desire coursing through your veins. With your back against him, you could feel the heat of his body, the strength of his embrace and his hard cock pressing against your ass.

“You need to be punished, baby, Was waiting for you the night to text me”, he whispered into your ears before taking a step back, “Bend over the desk, slut.”

As you leaned over your boss's desk, the air seemed to crackle with tension. Your movements were graceful, yet purposeful, the lines of your silhouette casting a spell of allure. With each subtle shift, the fabric of your blouse hugged your curves, your skirt rocking up, teasingly revealing hints of the allure beneath. Sukuna, momentarily captivated by the sight before him, struggled to maintain his composure and not just fuck you right there and then.

“You’ve been a bad girl”, all of sudden, without any kind of warning, his hand smacked down on your ass, earning a small squeal, “You a little cocktease, huh? Knew damn well how fucking soaked you got after our simple kiss and then you decided to not text me after?”

“I-I’m sorry, sir”, he whimpered as another blow hit your ass. Sukuna pulled your skirt down to the ground, exposing your behind. Now it would start to hurt.

“Sorry doesn’t fucking cut it, baby. I wanted to fill you up real good last night. I would have come over just to let you bounce on my cock. Beg for forgiveness, slut.”  And once again he smacked your ass.

“I’m sorry” Another blow. “Pl-please…Please forgive me, Mr. Sukuna.” Another blow. Your ass was turning red at this point. “I’m begging you pl–please…ahh.” That moan was everything Sukuna needed to hear – so needy and eager, he imagined you would love for him to manhandle you like this. Such a dirty whore.

You were a begging, trembling mess before him and he loved every inch of the view. Grinning he reached his hand out, his finger grazing over your thong covered slit. “Soaked through your panties already, baby? That’s all it got? Some dirty talk and spanking? Want daddy to help you out?”

Self-respect? Professionalism? Everything left your body as soon as he called himself daddy. “Yes, please help me out, daddy.”

“Now you’re a good girl.” Sukuna pulled your thong down and you groaned as you felt him use his finger to circle your clit. Seemed like daddy knew your body well, knew the pressure and the patterns that could turn you into a stuttering and groaning mess. When he dipped his fingers inside of you, you shifted slightly to make him go deeper. His fingers fucked you open so well, deepening his strokes to rub your g-spot and draw you closer to the edge. You felt yourself give in to him, becoming more wet as he continued touching your clit and pumping his fingers into your sloppy cunt as well.

“You’re so fucking wet for me. Can you hear it? How my fingers ram in and out of your slutty hole, huh? Clenching me so well, sucking me in. Tell daddy what you want, little one, tell me.”

“D–daddy…please, please fuck me”, Sukuna never stopped fingering your hole and restarted spanking your ass, “I need your cock, daddy, ahh– I’m begging you to fill me up.”

You heard Sukuna unzipping his pants, something warm now pushing against your entrance about to replace his fingers.

“I’m going to fuck you so good, you’ll call me your god.”

Maybe you were way too horny and desperate, losing touch with reality because suddenly you felt two hands grabbing your waist while two other hands wrapped around your body and cupped your tits. Sukuna rammed his cock into your pussy but you could feel something even thicker and bigger laying on your ass.

“You’re my favorite human, little one.”

[sykoangels]

cockwarming with wade wilson 💋

cockwarming is such a comforting concept for mister Wade Wilson. you just sitting on his cock keeping it warm as he does miscellaneous tasks he teases your nipples and aching clit. “you know what’s nice about this hun I get to feel you squirm on my cock begging for movement while I sit back and relax and watch adventure time.” wade giggles before nipping at your neck before turning back to the tv enjoying his cartoons like some latch key kid. In your opinion, cockwarming felt like a punishment from the depths of hell, like yes let’s sit on your boyfriend's dick and don’t move but constantly feel it twitch inside your pussy like a goddamn Beyblade. You bit your lip, trying to suppress a moan as his words sent a shiver down your spine. The sensation of Wade's cock inside you was unbearable, a mix of pleasure and pain that made your body tense. You could feel it twitching, like a restless beast trapped within you, desperate for release. “Wade, please," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the adventure time theme song. "I can't take it anymore.” He chuckled again, a soft, amused sound that made you want to both scream and cry. "Shh, it’s the time sandwich episode I need the perfect sandwich recipe told to me by Jake the dog and BMO” he murmured, his fingers lightly tracing circles on your inner thigh moving scarily close to your clit. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on anything but the throbbing between your legs. But it was impossible. Every slight movement Wade made sent waves of electricity through your body, making your breath catch in your throat. Suddenly, Wade shifted beneath you, adjusting his position slightly. The change was minuscule, but it was enough to send his cock pressing against your cervix. A sharp spike of pain shot through you, followed by an overwhelming wave of pleasure that made your head spin.

"Fuck!" you gasped, your hands gripping his thighs tightly, nails digging into his skin. Wade's laughter filled the room, a deep, rich sound that echoed off the walls. "Feeling a little sensitive today, are we?" he teased, his voice thick with amusement. You didn't answer, couldn't answer. Your mind was consumed by the sensations coursing through your body, every nerve ending alight with a fiery intensity that threatened to consume you. "Maybe I should give you something else to think about," Wade mused, his voice dropping to a whisper as he nips at your neck before licking it. Before you could respond, his hands were on your breasts, cupping them gently before giving them a sharp squeeze. You cried out, a mix of pain and pleasure that made your body arch involuntarily. "Wade!" you gasped, your eyes wide with surprise. He just laughed again, the sound sending vibrations through your body. "What? Can't handle a little attention? I thought you could since you always beg for me to touch you like some two dollar hooker.” he taunted, his fingers pinching your nipples hard enough to make you wince. "Please, Wade," you begged, your voice cracking under the strain. "Don’t stop p-please.” But he only chuckled, leaning closer until his lip were brushing against your ear. “Oh baby weren’t stopping till you are dripping cum out of that pretty pussy.” he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. You whimpered, your body trembling with a mixture of fear and desire. You knew there was no escape, not from Wade, not from this relentless torment that seemed to go on forever. Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, Wade's hands moved lower, sliding down your stomach until they reached their destination. With a cruel smile, he began to stroke you, his fingers dancing across your clit with practiced ease. “I’m gonna c-" you screamed, trying to squirm away, but it was too late. The damage was done, the floodgates opened, and there was no stopping the torrent that washed over you. Your body convulsed, every muscle tightening as you came undone, a wild, untamed creature caught in the throes of passion. Wade watched with a satisfied smirk, his hands still moving, still driving you deeper into the orgasmic delight.

you collapsed against him, gasping for air, your body limp and spent. Wade just chuckled, leaning back and returning his attention to the TV.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he teased, his voice light and carefree.

You didn't answer, couldn't answer. All you could do was lie there, feeling the aftermath of the storm, wondering what would come next.

[serendipitous-posts]

'Alastor was so chill while challenging Vox' no the fuck he was not. He was just acting calm. Because that's what he does with Vox, acts like he's beneath him because he knows it pisses him off. He literally heard him talking shit from across the street and hauled ass across the city to his station to do a radio show. You better believe the second he was off the air he let out a torrent of swears against Mr. TV man, the same way he did in Vox's very first appearance.

[shonen-brainrot]

Dragon!Kirishima, who is a huge dragon with fiery red scales that gleam brilliantly. Crowned with two razor-sharp horns, he boasts a majestic golden-red mane that billows in the wind as he soars through the skies, his massive wings casting an impressive shadow below.

Dragon!Kirishima, who is a fire dragon. When faced with a threat or an intruder trespassing on his territory, he doesn't hesitate to unleash torrents of scorching flames, leaving behind a searing trail.

Dragon!Kirishima, with an affinity for all things shiny and golden, shares the common dragon love for richness. His lair is adorned with numerous trophies and trinkets, golden coins and goblets, jewelry, gold bars and many, many more.

Dragon!Kirishima, who is all about rhubarb and figs. Every dragon craves heaps of calcium, and it comes from different sources.

Dragon!Kirishima, who experiences intense heats, making it hard for him to think straight, with his mind consumed by the overwhelming desire to relieve himself in any way possible.

Dragon!Kirishima, who's finding amusement as you navigate lost in his territory, initially contemplates swift retribution. However, upon catching a whiff of your sweet and intoxicating scent, he has a change of heart, opting for a more intriguing course of action.

Dragon!Kirishima, who waits until you enter his den before revealing his massive presence. Amused by your initial screams, he reassures you that he won't harm you and offers a deal – your assistance in helping him get off in exchange for your safety.

Dragon!Kirishima, who, beneath his impeccably sculpted strong abdomen, has not one, but two cocks. Both of his impressive cocks boast extraordinary length, a substantial girth, and a mesmerizing gradient of coloration. Starting with a striking crimson hue near his pelvis, the tones gradually transform into a captivating shade of gold at their tips.

Dragon!Kirishima, who keenly observes as you tentatively discard your garments. In a swift and deliberate motion, his forked, serpentine tongue envelops the entirety of your pussy, earning him a chorus of sweet moans from your lips. The sensation of your exquisite flavor cascading over his tongue sends waves of wild passion coursing through him.

Dragon!Kirishima, who guides you through a series of climaxes with the adept use of his to gue and muzzle. The relentless waves of pleasure leave you thoroughly drenched, creating an ideal state for accommodating one of his impressive cocks.

Dragon!Kirishima, who, once you're wet enough, confidently seizes the opportunity to simultaneously fill both of your eager holes with his cocks. Witnessing you completely engulfed by him ignites a primal surge of satisfaction within the dragon.

Dragon!Kirishima, who fucks you in a forceful, hard rhythm, thrusting into you with primal, guttural sounds escaping his muzzle.

Dragon!Kirishima, who's nearly pushed over the edge by the symphony of your sweet pleas and desperate cries, as you express your inability to last any more.

Dragon!Kirishima, who's unleashing his runny, golden cum in a series of at least a few robust spurts, roaring loudly, praising you for taking both of his cock so well.

Dragon!Kirishima, who, having reached his peak, insists on keeping you close, sprawled on his massive, scaled paws. He watches you breathing heavily, pressing his sizable muzzle against your abdomen, savoring the lingering scent of your slick wetness and of the sex you just had, still hanging in the air.

Dragon!Kirishima, who's confident in his allure, and knows you'll return for more. After a bit of post-coital cuddling, he fulfills his promise and allows you to depart from his den, fully aware that you'll be irresistibly drawn back to him.

Dragon!Kirishima, who's deeming you his mate, luxuriously spoils you with furs, trinkets, and jewelry. Whatever you desire, simply ask, and it's yours.

Dragon!Kirishima, who has a little secret he hasn't revealed yet - a human form tucked away. He decided to keep that tantalizing mystery for himself just a bit longer.

these headcanons were requested by my lovely mutual @crystalwolfblog ilysm ❤️

[021894s]

— 28 betrayal, hurt…reconciliation [3.9k w]

MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

PAIRING: brothers bsf! sunghoon x f!reader

WARNINGS: hurt, betrayal, language

AUTHORS NOTE: I tried surprising you guys by not telling you I was posting td hehe, enjoy <3

how could this have happened? he analyzes the photos closely, his heart sinking as he sees the images of you and Sunghoon, his best friend? his little sister? with their lips locked in a kiss?what the actual fuck. The betrayal cuts deep, and fury courses through his veins, each beat of his heart pounding louder in his ears.

The phone slips from his grasp, clattering onto the table as he scramble for his car keys. There's no time to think, no time to process what he’s just seen. The only thing that matters is getting to your house. he doesn’t care about the speed limit, the world outside blurring into a haze as he presses the pedal to the floor.

his mind races faster than the car, a torrent of emotions threatening to drown him. Anger, hurt, and a desperate need for answers fuel his reckless drive. As he approached your house, he barely registers the screech of tires against asphalt. All he knows is that you need to be confronted, to understand why you two did this to him.

Saerom was lounging on the couch, flipping through the endless arrays of movies and dramas that failed to catch her eye, when a loud, insistent knock echoed through the house. She frowned, setting the magazine aside and heading toward the door. when she opened it, she was met with Heeseung’s intense gaze and furrowed brows.

"Heeseung, hey—" she began, a bit taken aback by his agitated demeanor.

“Y/N here?” he cut her off abruptly, not waiting for an answer as he brushed past her and stormed into the house.

“Heeseung, wait—” Saerom tried to protest, but he was already making his way to your room, his footsteps heavy with urgency.

Heeseung didn’t bother knocking. He threw the door open, and there, in a tangle of blankets, were you and Sunghoon, your head nestled against his chest as he mindlessly scrolled on his phone.

“Un fucking believable,” Heeseung spat, his voice laced with betrayal.

you and Sunghoon scrambled to sit up, shock written across your faces. Sunghoon’s eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed, searching for words.

“Heeseung, I—” you started, but the intensity of his glare silenced you.

“How long has this been going on?” Heeseung demanded, his voice trembling with anger and hurt.

you and Sunghoon exchanged a nervous glance, each silently pleading for the other to say something. Heeseung’s patience snapped.

“fucking answer me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing through the room.

Sunghoon swallowed hard, his voice barely a whisper as he stammered, “T-technically since Japan.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened with fury, his fists clenching at his sides. “are you fucking kidding me? I trust you to accompany my sister and in turn you start sleeping with her?? what the fuck sunghoon?!”

your eyes filled with tears as you finally found your voice. “We were gonna tell you, I promise.”

Heeseung scoffed, his anger unrelenting. “Before or after you got caught?”

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling hands. “Heeseung, you have to understand, it wasn’t like we planned this to hurt you. We were just scared of how you’d react.”

Heeseung’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing. “Scared of how I’d react? You’re my sister and sunghoon is supposed to be my best friend! How did you think I’d react?”

Sunghoon finally mustered the courage to step forward. “Heeseung, we didn’t mean for it to happen this way. We just… we care about each other.”

The sight of Sunghoon’s face seemed to ignite something in Heeseung. Without warning, he swung his fist, connecting with Sunghoon’s jaw.

Sunghoon staggered back, clutching his face, his eyes wide with shock and pain. “Heeseung, I—”

Heeseung didn’t let him finish. “You fucking asshole” he yelled, his voice breaking. “You were supposed to be there for her not fall for her”

you stepped in front of him. “Heeseung, please! Let’s talk this out. just please don’t hurt him!” you plead, your voice breaking.

the tension in the room reached its peak, the sound of a door creaking open echoed down the hall. Jake, who had been in the restroom, heard the commotion and rushed towards your room. He burst in just as Heeseung was about to throw another punch at Sunghoon.

“Hey hey hey, stop it!” Jake shouted, grabbing Heeseung’s arm and pulling him back.

Heeseung struggled against Jake’s hold, his fury not yet abated. “Jake, let me fucking go. He deserves this!”

Jake tightened his grip, stepping between Heeseung and Sunghoon. “Enough, Heeseung! This isn’t going to solve anything.”

Heeseung glared at Jake, his eyes filled with betrayal. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew this whole time and didn’t think to tell me?”

Jake looked pained, but he held his ground. “It wasn’t my secret to tell, Heeseung. I wanted to, but it wasn’t my place.”

Heeseung’s anger flared again, though this time it was mixed with hurt. “So you just let them lie to me? Let them sneak around behind my back?”

Jake shook his head. “I didn’t let them do anything. I told them they needed to tell you, but it was their decision to make.”

still standing between the boys, you looked at Heeseung with tear-filled eyes. “Heeseung, please. Jake didn’t do anything wrong. This is on us.”

Heeseung looked between you, Sunghoon, and Jake, his emotions a whirlwind. Finally, he took a step back, his shoulders slumping. “I don’t know who I can trust anymore.”

Jake released Heeseung’s arm, his expression filled with sympathy. “You can trust that we all care about you. We just didn’t handle things the right way.”

Heeseung rubbed his temples, the weight of everything pressing down on him. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

tears are streaming down your face, looking at Heeseung with desperation. “Heeseung… I love him.”

Heeseung paused, his eyes filling with more pain. He turned to look at you, his expression a mixture of hurt and concern. "He’s going to hurt you," he said, his voice trembling.

you shook her head, her heart aching. "No, Heeseung, he won't."

Heeseung’s eyes brimmed with tears. "How can you be so sure? You’ve been sneaking around, lying to me. How can you trust him after all this?"

you took a step closer, pleading with him. "Because I know him. And I know this is hard for you to believe right now, but he makes me happy."

Heeseung looked at you, the pain in his eyes evident. "I just want to protect you. I don’t want to see you get hurt."

your voice softened, filled with love and determination. "I know, Heeseung. And I appreciate that. But I need you to trust me on this. Please."

Heeseung swallowed hard, the tears finally spilling over. "I don’t know if I can. Not right now."

you nodded, your own tears flowing freely. "Take your time. But please, believe me when I say we didn’t mean to hurt you. We love you."

Heeseung looked away, wiping his eyes. "I love you too, y/n. That's why this hurts so much." he looks over to sunghoon, “don’t bother coming home, you’re out.”

With that, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving you standing there, your heart breaking for your brother, and it was no one’s fault but your own.

your world had become a shadow of its former self. The weight of Heeseung's hurt and disappointment bore down on your shoulders like a crushing burden. Days passed in a haze of misery. you found yourself withdrawing from everything you once enjoyed, your appetite dwindling, and even the thought of attending classes seemed unbearable.

your best friends noticed the change immediately. Saerom, who had always been your confidante, approached you gently one afternoon.

"y/n please talk to me," Saerom pleaded, sitting beside you on the bed where you had been listlessly staring at nothing in particular.

you blinked back tears, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can't, Saerom. I've messed everything up. I hurt Heeseung so much."

Saerom wrapped her arms around you, holding you close. "You didn’t mean to hurt him, baby. Sometimes things just happen."

you shook her head, her tears flowing freely now. "But I did hurt him. I betrayed his trust. And now he won’t even talk to me."

she rubbed your back soothingly, feeling utterly helpless. "Give him time, y/n . He loves you. He’ll come around."

you pulled away,eyes filled with despair. "I don’t know if he ever will. And even if he does, how can things ever be the same?"

Saerom’s heart broke for you. "I wish I had the answers. Just know that I’m here for you, no matter what."

you nodded weakly, appreciating Saerom’s support even as the ache in your heart persisted. youfelt lost, adrift in a sea of guilt and sorrow, unable to find solace in anything, not even in the presence of your closest friends.

A week had passed since the tumultuous confrontation in your room. Heeseung found himself in the university library, an unusual place for him on a quiet afternoon. He was buried in his textbooks, trying to focus on the equations and theories in front of him, anything to distract himself from the ache in his heart.

He flipped through pages, his mind wandering back to the events of the past week. The hurt and betrayal were still fresh, but being surrounded by the hushed atmosphere of the library offered a semblance of peace. It was a stark contrast to the turmoil of emotions that had consumed him since discovering your secret.

Sunghoon took a deep breath, his face still bruised from Heeseung’s punch. “Can I sit?”

Heeseung glanced up at him, his expression conflicted. After a moment, he nodded.

Sunghoon sat down, the silence between them heavy. Finally, he spoke. “Heeseung, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Heeseung kept his gaze fixed on the ground. “You were my best friend, Sunghoon. I trusted you more than anyone.”

Sunghoon swallowed hard. “I know. And I betrayed that trust. But I swear, it wasn’t intentional. I just... I fell in love with her.”

Heeseung looked up, his eyes filled with pain. “And you couldn’t tell me? You had to sneak around behind my back?”

Sunghoon nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. “We were scared. We didn’t want to lose you.”

Heeseung’s anger flared again, though not as intensely as before. “You lost me the moment you decided to lie to me.”

Sunghoon’s shoulders slumped. “I know. And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But I need you to know that I love y/n. I would never hurt her.”

Heeseung shook his head, tears welling up again. “How can I believe that? After all this?”

Sunghoon’s voice was steady, filled with sincerity. “Because I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love her, Heeseung. And I love you too. You’re like a brother to me. Losing you... it’s the last thing I ever wanted.”

Heeseung wiped his eyes, taking a deep breath. “This is going to take time. I don’t know if I can trust either of you right now.”

Sunghoon nodded, understanding. “I’ll wait as long as it takes. Just... please don’t shut us out. We need you- she needs you. she isn’t taking it well.”

Heeseung looked at Sunghoon, seeing the genuine remorse and love in his eyes. “I need time to process this. But... i’ll talk to her”.

Sunghoon managed a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Heeseung. That means a lot.”

Heeseung nodded, the pain still raw but a small glimmer of hope beginning to form. “We’ll see. Just... don’t hurt her. Or I won’t forgive you. Ever.”

Sunghoon placed a hand on Heeseung’s shoulder, his voice firm. “I won’t. I promise.”

They sat in silence for a while, the weight of their conversation lingering, but there was a sense of understanding beginning to bridge the gap between them.

Sunghoon had been by your side through it all, his own heart heavy with guilt and longing to make things right. later that afternoon, you both lay together in the cacoon of your duvet, hiding you from the outside world. Sunghoon gently pulled you into his arms.

"I talked to Heeseung," Sunghoon murmured softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on the soft skin of your back.

you looked up at him, eyes searching his face. "you did?? what did he say? are you ok? did he hit you again?"

Sunghoon sighed, his expression pained. "i’m ok but…he's hurting, baby. deeply. But he's starting to listen. I think... I think there's hope."

Tears welled up in your eyes again. "I miss him, hoon. I miss my brother."

Sunghoon held you tighter, his own eyes moistening. "He misses you too, y/n. He just needs time to heal."

you nodded, burying your face in Sunghoon's chest, seeking comfort in his warmth. "I wish I could take back everything. I wish I hadn’t hurt him."

Sunghoon kissed the top of your head gently. "We’ll get through this, baby. I promise. We just have to be patient."

you stayed like that for a while, finding solace in each other’s embrace, both hoping and praying that time would heal the wounds you had inadvertently caused.

"I love you," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity and a hint of vulnerability.

Sunghoon cupped you face gently, his gaze locked with yours. "I love you too, y/n," he murmured, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

In that moment, despite the pain and uncertainty, your love remained a steadfast anchor, offering hope for reconciliation and a future where healing could finally begin.

The next day, you were sitting in your room, staring blankly at the wall, when there was a gentle knock on the door. you looked up, heart skipping a beat when you saw Heeseung standing in the doorway, a tentative look on his face.

"Can we talk?" Heeseung asked softly, stepping inside.

you nodded, feeling a mix of hope and apprehension. "Of course."

Heeseung took a deep breath, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I've been thinking a lot, you know about everything."

your eyes filled with tears. "I’m so sorry, Hee. I never wanted to hurt you."

Heeseung nodded, his own eyes glistening. "I know. And I’m sorry for how I reacted. I was just... I felt- i feel so betrayed."

you reached out, taking his hand. "I never meant for it to happen like this. i just didn’t want you to be disappointed, you mean too much to me. but so does he.

Heeseung squeezed your hand gently. "Sunghoon talked to me yesterday. He explained everything. I realize now that you both love each other, and as much as it hurt to find out the way I did, I can’t stand the thought of losing either of you."

your tears spilled over, a mixture of relief and sorrow. "I miss you."

Heeseung’s voice cracked with emotion. "I miss you too, y/n. And I don’t want to lose you. It’s going to take time for me to fully trust again, but I’m willing to try."

you nodded, heart swelling with hope. "i’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. I promise."

he pulls you into a tight embrace, his tears mingling with yours. "We’ll get through this together. I love you, sis"

"I love you too, hee," she whispered, holding him close. "Thank you for giving me a chance to make things right."

As you pulled away from the heartfelt embrace, Heeseung wiped his eyes and managed a small, teasing smile. "You look like shit, by the way."

you laughed through your tears, lightly punching his arm. "wow thanks. You’re not looking so hot yourself."

Heeseung chuckled, the tension in the room easing slightly. "I guess we've both been a mess, huh?"

you nodded, a smile playing on your lips. "Yeah, but maybe now we can start to clean up the mess together."

Heeseung grinned, ruffling your hair. "Sounds like a plan. Just promise me you’ll start eating and going to classes again. We both need to get our lives back on track."

you rolled her eyes playfully. "alright, big brother. I promise. But only if you promise to stop hiding in the library, it’s kinda scary to be honest."

Heeseung laughed, shaking his head. "Deal. Let’s both try to get back to some kind of normal."

you smiled, feeling a warmth in her chest she hadn't felt in days. "I’m really glad we talked, hee."

Heeseung nodded, his expression softening. "Me too, y/n. Me too."

Heeseung leaned back, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You know, I should probably have a little chat with Sunghoon too."

you raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Oh? And what are you going to say to him?"

Heeseung smirked, crossing his arms. "Just a friendly reminder that if he ever hurts you, I’ll turn his life into a never-ending horror movie. You know, typical big brother stuff."

you laughed, shaking her head. "Poor Sunghoon. He's already scared of you as it is."

Heeseung chuckled. "Good. Keeps him on his toes."

Just then, Sunghoon timidly peeked around the corner, having overheard the last part of their conversation. "Uh, did I hear my name?"

Heeseung turned to him, his expression mock-serious. "Yeah, just giving y/n a heads-up about your imminent doom if you screw this up."

Sunghoon gulped, trying to hide his nervousness. "Duly noted. I promise, Heeseung, I'll take good care of her."

Heeseung's serious facade broke, and he grinned. "Relax, Sunghoon. Just don’t forget, I’ll always be watching."

Sunghoon laughed nervously, and you rolled your eyes playfully. "Alright, you two, enough with the threats. Let’s just focus on moving forward."

Heeseung nodded, still smiling. "Agreed. But remember, Sunghoon, horror movie."

Sunghoon nodded fervently. "Got it. No horror movies."

Just as the tension in the room began to ease, there was a loud commotion from the front door. Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki barged into the house, their voices filled with excitement.

"Guess who brought chicken!!!" Jungwon shouted, holding up a bag of takeout.

The trio stopped in their tracks when they saw Heeseung standing in the living room with you and sunghoon, an awkward silence immediately filling the space .

Sunoo looked around, his eyes wide with surprise. "Should we leave?" he whispered to the others, his voice barely audible.

Heeseung, still processing the sudden intrusion, managed to chuckle. "No, it's fine. Come on in."

Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki exchanged nervous glances but slowly entered the room, setting the bags of food on the table. Niki looked at Heeseung, trying to gauge the situation. "Are you sure? We didn’t mean to interrupt anything."

you smiled, wiping away the remnants of your tears. "It's okay. We were just finishing up."

Sunoo glanced at Sunghoon, noticing his bruised face . "he didn’t punch you again did he?" he says in a whisper.

Sunghoon smiled sheepishly. "no, he didn’t”

sunoo pumps his fist in the air discreetly “progress!!” he whispers.

Jungwon, trying to lighten the mood, clapped his hands together. "Well, since we're all here, why don’t we eat? Maybe some food will help clear the air."

Heeseung nodded, a small smile forming. "Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s eat."

you all gathered around the table, the atmosphere slowly shifted from tense to more relaxed. The sound of laughter and chatter began to fill the room, a reminder of the bond you all shared and the hope that, in time, everything could be mended.

Sunoo leaned over to you, whispering with a playful grin, "You better make sure Heeseung gets the biggest piece of chicken. Peace offering and all."

you laughed, nodding. "Consider it done."

as you ate, the group gradually began to relax, the earlier tension dissipating. Heeseung, Sunghoon, and you exchanged glances, knowing that this was just the beginning of yourjourney to rebuild trust and heal their relationships. But surrounded by friends and shared laughter

a little over a month later, time had done its work, gradually healing the rift between Heeseung, Sunghoon, and you. Heeseung had come to terms with your relationship, and while it had been a rocky road, the bond you shared had grown stronger.

One sunny afternoon, Heeseung pulled up in front of your house to pick up you and Sunghoon for a lunch outing you had planned. He honked the horn lightly, signaling his arrival.

you both emerged from the house, holding hands and smiling. climbing into the backseat of Heeseung’s car, leaving the front seat empty.

Heeseung glanced in the rearview mirror, raising an eyebrow. "Really? The backseat?"

Sunghoon grinned, wrapping his arm around you . "What can I say? We like being close."

you leaned your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Thanks for driving us, Heeseung. You make a great chauffeur."

Heeseung rolled his eyes, starting the engine. "Yah, just don’t do anything you’re not supposed to be doing in my car."

Sunghoon laughed, squeezing your hand. "We promise to be good. Well, mostly."

you often found yourrself reflecting on how much had changed. you had feared losing your brother’s trust and your relationship with Sunghoon in the process, but instead, you had all come out of it closer and more resilient.

One evening, as the sun set, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, you sat on the balcony of your house. Heeseung and Sunghoon joined you, sitting on either side, each lost in their thoughts.

“Do you ever think about how far we’ve come?” you asked softly, glancing at both of them.

Heeseung nodded, a gentle smile on his face. “Yeah, I do. It wasn’t easy, but I’m glad we made it through.”

Sunghoon took yourhand, squeezing it lightly. “We’ve grown a lot, all of us. And I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.”

you leaned her head on Heeseung’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of their presence. “I’m just glad I have both of you. It was tough, but it’s worth it. Having you both by my side means everything to me.”

Heeseung wrapped an arm around you, his smile widening. “We’re family. And nothing is going to change that.”

Sunghoon nodded, looking at Heeseung. “Thank you for accepting us, Heeseung. It means a lot.”

Heeseung chuckled, ruffling Sunghoon’s hair. “Just remember, if you ever hurt her, you’ll have to deal with me.”

you laughed, feeling a sense of peace and contentment. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you both so much.”

The three of you sat there, enjoying the serene evening, knowing that despite the challenges you had faced, you had come out stronger and more united. The love and trust you had rebuilt were the foundation of your unbreakable bond.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, you felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It had been a rocky and tough situation, but you had both your boys, and that was all that really mattered.

taglist: @cornenhapovs @myjaeyuns @magssu @jentlecoeur @heeslut4life @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @jaeyungxrl @rapmonie2047 @anormieee @nishislcve @leesura @en-happiness @heelariously @rikiwaify-blog og @ihrtgyuuu be @hoonharem @g0niki @hearts4itoshi i i @yongbokified @shuichi-sama @xiaoderrrr r @skylalyla @yzzyhee @jwnghyuns @seokseokjinkim @syzavxy @xrvrqs @soulvrrs @velvetkisscs @eneiyri @meowmeowjang @simpjay @moonlighthoon @gaylilseokie @seunghancore @heelovesmeknot @nyfwyeonjun @kookify @jayhoonvroom @charlizefaye @mooniikay @nikiswifiee @heemilktea @yorukoshii i @sumzysworld @softieluvsyou @idkwhyimheresworld

[formulawolff]

fanboy behavior - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 1.3k

warnings: an older man having an insanely large crush on a woman thirty years his junior, ONE-SIDED PINING (LOTS OF IT OKAY), allusions to smut/sexual fantasies, toto is a mess, mentions of divorce, common fic tropes, yadayadayada

a/n: this is sort of a prequel to alkaline! this is set one year before the events of the 2024 bahrain grand prix. toto is super down bad in this already, so expect lots of pining and him being a flustered mess hehe! i figured this would provide some context/background for the first chapter of alkaline <3 (ALSO PLS LISTEN TO ALKALINE BY SLEEP TOKEN!!! IT REALLY ENCAPSULATES TOTO'S YEARNING!!)

his mind is other places.

he should be invested in the current conversation with his engineers and drivers, discussing the current status of the car and the potential modifications that needed to be made before sunday.

but he's not, his foot tapping against the concrete floor absentmindedly, body on autopilot.

it's almost as if his brain was short-circuiting, desperately trying to compute any sort of coherent thought in correlation with the task at hand. yet, if he tries, it just sputters, trailing off, veering towards something else.

well, someone else.

he's thinking about a driver, merely a few paddocks down.

a williams racing driver, actually.

the american girl. barely twenty-one, a rookie in the second williams seat, preparing to compete in her first formula one race in approximately twenty-four hours.

her eyes were like starlight, bursting with a torrent of emotions and complexity, pulling you into their depths, begging for you to get lost within them. her hair was absolutely gorgeous, complementing her features no matter its state.

and her physique?

fuck, the team principal felt like a teenage boy very time he stole a glance, his slacks feeling a little tighter than usual.

with a smile that lit up every room she was in, a radiant aura brimming with kindness and humility, as well as a fiery determination to compete, she was comparable to the sun.

the woman who was starting to become routinely embedded in his daily pondering.

ever since that fateful day in december, when his eyes first drank in that photo of her, hand interlocked with james in front of that williams car, she was the last thing on his mind before he dozed off. and well, the first thing his mind wandered to in the mornings.

she even made an appearance in his dreams, the sound of her voice almost haunting him, so tantalizingly sweet and angelic.

fuck, he was a goner.

this was the third month now where she consumed every crevice of his brain. a continuous loop of all of the sins he wanted to confess, the ways in which he wanted to touch her, and the burning desire to take her under his wing, teaching her all of the ins and outs of racing.

was he obsessed with her? surely not.

not that he memorized every single one of her f2 stats or anything. not that he spent a majority of his free time lately invested in interview clips with her, jotting down all of her favorite things. not that he doodled her during meetings or anything.

not that at least twelve times a day he fantasized about her in a mercedes suit, his fingers carefully tugging down the zipper.

this was normal behavior after a recent divorce. completely normal behavior, actually.

the team principal clears his throat, "i need to step away for a moment. i can barely think straight right now. please, continue. i will rejoin the conversation once i get my shit together."

he can't help but notice the way his drivers exchange a concerned glance, lewis coughing slightly.

"um, all right. toto, is everything okay?"

not quite.

he was going absolutely insane, his mind already reeling at the anticipation of potentially catching a glimpse of her. he wasn't even sure if he would or not, but that possibility sent a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins.

those endless possibilities are what kept him up at night. what sent the blood rushing in the mornings, the stiffness in his boxers nearly pulling him out of his slumber. what had him pacing some days in his office, desperate beyond belief for some sort of way to break this spell.

as he strolls out of the garage, a warm breeze rolls through the track, strands of hair blowing all over. he curses slightly, running a quick hand through the tousled mess.

just to his left, a flurry of voice catches his attention, his head swiveling, searching for the source.

besides james is the object of his every desire, the apple of his eye.

as the sun dips below the horizon, he can barely make out her expression. she appears frustrated, her brows furrowed together, a deep frown etched across her lips.

"i just don't fucking understand why that dickhead felt the need to ask me if i was on my period!" she groans, shaking her head, "what the fuck was i supposed to do? let that slide?"

there's a sternness plastered across james' face, yet his voice is soft, laced with sympathy, "i know, but you have to realize that you're going to be asked questions like that because there are misogynists within the sport. no matter how much you prove to us that you deserve this seat, there are going to be pricks out there. we can do a little bit more media training, if you'd like. or, i can hire a publicist for you."

"a publicist? are you fucking kidding me?" her eyes widen, her tone growing more and more frustrated, "i'm not fifteen. i can speak for myself, james."

"it was just a suggestion," he shrugs, sticking out his hands, "look, i know you had a rough day, but let's focus on tomorrow. all right? you're tenth on the grid. that's monumental for your first race. you could win us points."

"we'll see," she scoffs, the toe of her shoe scuffing against the pavement, "i'm sorry for getting upset with you. i'm just really nervous. and well, scared."

scared of what? you have nothing to fear, sweet girl. you're one of the best drivers i have seen step foot on the grid.

toto narrows his eyes, lingering for just a moment longer.

"i just don't know if i deserve this seat," he can sense the falter in her voice, how it shakes, "i don't even know if i deserve a spot in formula one. i mean, look at me! i'm this upset over a dumb question. and i'm just scared everything is going to go to my head tomorrow and i'm going to overthink it."

james wraps his arms around the driver, pulling her in for a tight embrace as a sob wracks her body, "hey, when you're in doubt, you have alex and i. we will always be there for you. i know you're nervous, but you have to realize how special and talented you are to be in this position. you've deserved everything that has come your way, and you will continue to deserve this. i promise."

his biceps flex as he folds his arms against his chest, every fiber of his being resisting the urge to just walk over there and casually sweep her off her feet, squeezing her against his chest as he murmurs in her ear how fucking special she was.

james, she wasn't just special and talented.

she was a fucking star. a star that deserved to shine and hold every ounce of that spotlight.

just like the sun, she deserved to cast her rays of light all over the world.

the world deserved to know who she was. where she came from. how she got here. why she was a worthy competitor and excellent driver.

and by god, toto wolff was hellbent on making that happen.

one way or another.

he just had to be patient. play the long game.

every move from here was to be carefully calculated.

as toto harbored a plan. one that had been brewing the second that speculations swirled around the world of formula one that the first female american driver would be signing to a team.

he was going to have her by his side at mercedes.

fuck, he had been yearning for her this long already.

how much harm would a few more months do? a year?

he could wait a year. he was a patient man.

well, he could wait that long.

as long as that hunger gnawing away at him didn't kill him first.

[ninibeingdelulu]

"I'm right here"

plot- an argument with depressed geto CLICK ME

"I can't believe you're being like this!"

Suguru's voice cracked with frustrated accusation, slamming his textbook down with enough force to make you flinch.

"It's like you're purposefully trying to drive a wedge between Satoru and me just because you're jealous!"

You felt your hands ball into fists at your sides as that familiar spike of molten defensiveness surged through your veins.

How dare he diminish your concerns so callously after everything you'd been through together? As if your feelings were some trite, immature flight of fancy rather than the genuine loneliness you'd been grappling with lately.

"Jealous?" you scoffed, tossing your pencil aside with a heated glare.

"You really think I'm that petty? That this is just me throwing some pathetic tantrum over not getting enough attention from Wunderkind Geto?"

Suguru opened his mouth - undoubtedly to fire back with another biting remark - but you barreled forward, finally allowing the dam holding back weeks of bottled resentment to burst open.

No more mincing words or letting things fester until they'd reached this ugly, toxic fever pitch.

"I'm worried about you, jackass!"

You shoved off the couch, gesturing wildly as the torrent of pent-up emotions flooded free in a tumultuous rush.

"That's all I've wanted from the start! For you to actually let me in about what's been eating you up so badly lately that you've become a total goddamn stranger!"

Suguru seemed to visibly deflate somewhat under the brunt force of your outburst. But that brief hesitation was rapidly replaced by the familiar stubborn set of his squared jaw and narrowed onyx gaze which indicated the imminent eruption of his own fiery temper.

"Oh, so now you're my therapist?" he sneered, bracing his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward in your direction with acerbic challenge.

"Sorry I've been such an inconvenience while busting my ass trying to actually secure my future instead of wasting time with teenage melodrama!"

You shook your head in disbelief, throwing your hands up as another harsh bark of laughter cut through the tension like a serrated blade.

"Un-fucking-believable...Is that seriously what you think this is about? Me being petty over you 'wasting time' with dumb high school bullshit?!"

Suguru simply glowered in stony silence, the muscle in his clenched jaw visibly twitching.

Waiting for you to either continue your tirade or offer more proof of your apparent delusions over the state of things between you.

Well, if he wanted you to spell out the tangled knot of anguish and confused longing festering in your chest with stark clarity...Then so be it.

"I'm in love with you, you arrogant prick!"

The confession exploded out of you with enough volcanic force to make you immediately slap a hand over your mouth.

Yet once uncorked, there was no recapturing the deluge as it raged on, raw and unfettered.

"And it's been ripping me apart watching you spiral so far down in this pit of darkness without letting anyone in to try and pull you back out!"

Suguru looked as though he'd been struck across the face.

All residual ire seeping away into slack-jawed shock and visceral vulnerability cracking those steely exterior walls you'd slammed against so fruitlessly in the past.

His throat bobbed in an audible gulp, those intense obsidian eyes you used to lose yourself in now swimming with a thousand different conflicting emotions roiling in their tumultuous depths.

The sudden, stark silence stretching between you was enough to buffer even the frantic hammering of your pulse thundering past your ears.

The fear of obliterating one of the most important relationships of your life in that combustive outpouring constricted around your throat like a vise of pure dread.

Then, after what felt like an eternity...Suguru's expression shifted again.

His features settling into an almost haunted kind of resignation piercing directly into your very soul. When he spoke, his typically unflappable baritone emerged cracking and subdued - the most naked glimpse you'd ever witnessed of what laid beneath the surface he fought so vigilantly to repress.

"I...I know..." he confessed in a gust of breath barely above a whisper.

One shaky hand scrubbed over his face, refusing to meet your wide-eyed stare. "Fuck, I've known how you felt and I-I kept pushing you away so I wouldn't hurt you more by—"

The strangled catch in his throat cut off whatever fragile truth seemed to be teetering on the precipice of being laid bare between you.

Suguru's free hand balled into a fist clenching the material of his pants until his knuckles bored white while haunted shadows flickered across his downturned visage.

Never before had you witnessed him look so...utterly wrecked. So excruciatingly human under the weight of inner demons you'd never known to be lurking underneath it all.

Not until they'd already carved out pieces of him you might never get the chance to recover.

But you couldn't allow either of you to retreat into that isolating darkness anymore. Not after clawing your way this deep into the open wounds between you both.

Too many regrets were already trailing behind in your wake...

The deafening silence hung thick and palpable in the wake of Suguru's shattered admission.

You could practically taste the roiling torrent of unspoken truths and anguished vulnerability thrashing violently just beneath the surface he was struggling so viscerally to repress.

You knew with every fiber of your being that if you didn't reach out in this pivotal moment, the fragile threads binding you both together risked snapping under the immense strain.

And you refused to let that happen - even if it meant wading blindly into the shadowy depths of whatever demons were currently carving him hollow from the inside.

Tentatively, you bridged the couch cushions separating you and laid your palm overtop that trembling fist clenched with white-knuckled force against his thigh.

Suguru flinched slightly at the contact, but didn't immediately recoil away. Emboldened by that microscopic victory, you gently pried his fingers open to lace them through your own in silent invitation.

"Suguru..." you murmured, injecting as much tender reassurance into his name as humanly possible.

"Whatever it is causing you so much pain...you don't have to keep shouldering it alone anymore. I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

His jaw clenched spasmodically, those turbulent eyes still steadfastly averted from meeting your concerned gaze.

You could see the muscle twitching in his cheek from the sheer force he was exerting to keep that impenetrable mask locked firmly in place.

But you refused to relent, rubbing the pad of your thumb soothingly across his knuckles in hopes of coaxing him to simply breathe. To open himself up even a sliver after all this time...

"Please," you implored, daring to shuffle closer until your thighs were a hairsbreadth from touching.

Until that painfully unguarded expression was directly in your line of vision, begging to be witnessed without judgment or reprimand.

"Let me help carry this for you, 'Guru. You've been alone with this anguish for too long..."

Finally, finally , some of that tightly wound tension began leeching from his hunched shoulders as if the words had sliced through some of those invisible restraints shackling him down.

Suguru raised his other hand to rake shakily through his tousled raven locks, unravelling before your very eyes.

When his gaze at last lifted to lock with yours, the sight of those inky pools swimming with so much naked, harrowing vulnerability physically winded you.

"I'm so afraid..." he confessed in a ragged whisper thick with shame and trepidation.

His hand convulsed where you clutched it in your lap as if the admission had torn open a fresh, gaping wound inside.

"I've convinced myself I have this grand purpose to dedicate myself to completely, but there's a part of me that wonders if it's all been an excuse...a distraction from facing how truly lost and messed up I've become."

Tears glistened in those haunted obsidian depths and your heart shattered at the sight of Suguru's meticulously constructed walls crumbling before your eyes.

The instinctive need to pull him into your embrace and chase those demons away was near overpowering.

Yet you resisted, allowing him to unfurl at his own pace without outside influence. Simply being the steady presence and supportive tether he so clearly needed more than he'd realized.

"Everyone told me I was destined for greatness after awakening to my talents...That I possessed a gift entrusted to rectify this curse plaguing our kind."

Suguru's voice had descended into a hoarse, halting murmur as the floodgates burst completely open.

Each gravelly syllable etched in anguish carved into his very marrow.

"But deep down, I've always been so goddamn afraid of failing. Of disappointing everyone and being seen as the fraud I've convinced myself I must be for harboring any weakness or-or..."

His words finally failed, fading into a ragged exhalation torn from his very core as he lifted his imploring gaze beseechingly to yours.

"God, why am I like this? Why does any of this matter when all I've wanted is to open my eyes and see you smiling back at me without all this bullshit driving us apart?"

Your throat constricted wordlessly, scorching tears blurring your vision at the utter desolation contorting Suguru's features into the most wrenching expression imaginable.

Here was the strongest, most indomitable person in your life bearing the very depths of his shattered soul before you in total surrender.

And you instantly knew in that pivotal, crystalline moment - there was nowhere else you could ever fathom being that wasn't by his side.

Providing the steadfast strength and acceptance for those fragmented pieces until he felt whole enough to stand on his own once more.

There would be more tears, more shards to sift through together in confronting this pervasive darkness slowly consuming him from the inside out.

But the first painful, cathartic step had been taken. And you fully intended to never allow Suguru to slip backward into that isolating abyss ever again.

So you did the only thing left to reassure him he wasn't alone in this monumental fight for his very sense of self and purpose.

You surged forward and pulled him into your fiercely protective embrace - cradling his shuddering form flush against your chest as his own quiet sobs finally shook loose in heartrending waves.

"I'm here...I'm right here, 'Guru..." you whispered over and over into the downy strands of ebony hair tickling your lips.

"We're going to get through this, I swear it..."

Your shared tears and ragged breaths mingled achingly between your twined bodies as a new, mended path forward gradually unfurled with each passing heartbeat.

From the ashes of everything you thought you'd understood about him and the conflicted world he inhabited...

Bound now by the decision to walk whatever darkened road stretched ahead completely united in purpose and love at long last laid bare - come what may.