#fuck off drs keeping people from bodily autonomy

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

The r femaleantinatalism vibes are strong here. (Neutral statement. I'm self conscious to admit I lurk there when I'm having a Bad Time©️ and doom scrolling) I'm an aspiring parent, and I stan for the child frees. I especially stan my queer and trans brethren who want to be and are parents. I love the non-cis centered, trans inclusive language in this thread. I think the more we break down the cis/straight normative alleged monopoly on parenthood the better. I'm glad to hear there's pros out there making that choice. I know IIII was over the moon in 2015-ish when I had a gyno who was on gender neutral language for contraceptives etc. In a cis-maybe-egg-y ally way of course, ahem.

I think we all need to work to reduce stigma and improve care, and again, I'm really glad to hear that is slowly happening. Baked in Misogyny is the worst. I would say that part of the rotten natalist ideology is romanticizing suffering as spiritually necessary. All the way back to the Eve's punishment in Eden. This may be because I was raised Catholic, but idk. Thanks, I hate it.

There's a distinct way folks, especially women and afab, are taught to view and accept suffering. People a million times more qualified than me have been spilling ink on it for centuries. Un-learning that is so tedious and hard, but so worth it. Especially if we choose to take the risks associated with pregnancy and parenthood. I know it's been really radical and difficult for myself to learn to self advocate contrary to how I was raised. Y'know, to make sure the Dr. Is treating me like a Person. It wasn't until an appointment went really badly that I even considered having my partner or even just a trusted someone with me. I had just swallowed to do it alone.

We really, really, REALLY gotta work on normalizing clearly understanding the whole enchilada of complications and enhancing support around pregnancy. I think it's already happening with many realities of parenthood with online discussions, but it's just not there with pregnancy.

We deserve a societal landscape as free from herteonormative pro-life Misogyny smog as possible to make clear, informed decisions that we honor and GD respect.

the thing is like. i get that it's scary and makes people who do desire to get pregnant uncomfortable when we talk about the brutality and violence of pregnancy and the damage that pregnancy can do to your body

but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.

the lies around pregnancy - that it's inherently safe, that it doesn't do you permanent damage, that it's only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like

all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that

there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are

but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo

this is a process that permanently changes most people's bodies, and that's even if the pregnancy doesn't do them like. severe illness or injury

and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that

bc to live in a society that intentionally obscures and hides facts about a completely optional and dangerous process does so for a reason, and that reason is based in a very sinister ideology that does not value bodily autonomy or informed consent

[hollowtones]

what'd you think about jade shadows?

I put it under a read-more because I don't know how to talk about this without talking about spoiler stuff. The tl;dr is "I liked it but I wish there was a little bit more."

One of the things I didn't like isn't even really part of the quest itself, but I saw a mutual bring it up a few days ago & it's been on my mind since: it feels a little odd to have a content warning before your sidequest, and then not give you any way to skip the quest if it's content you don't think you'd be able to handle. Especially given there's a whole event & rewards that only unlock afterwards!!

OK on to the contents of the quest itself. There's a lot of themes of love and connection and empathy in the face of systemic cruelty or indifference, in this game in general, and a lot of how that manifests is stories about characters fighting for self-determination and agency (the Ostrons trying to stay free of the Grineer, the Solaris trying to destroy the systems that keep them in debt & deny them bodily autonomy, Umbra, the Tenno, the Lotus, etc etc).

I think it's interesting to try and explore a tragedy where we aren't able to help someone in time, where the powers that be have brutalized someone and we as individuals aren't able to get there in the nick of time & help them claw their agency back. I think it's an interesting thematic & emotional through-line (with very strong parallels to Ordis... very smart choice to make him the event vendor / narrator, I'm feasting good on all the new dialogue LOL), and I think there have been enough well-written woman characters in the game that don't get written out or killed for the sake of some man's tragedy or growth that I don't immediately roll my eyes about them trying a So Sad The Woman Dies story.

I do also think this would have hit harder if we got more information about Jade herself!! I realize "this woman broke a law and was completely dehumanized / made into a Thing by the empire, stripping her of herself to suit their ends" is Kind Of The Point, and they make enough of a fuss about "wow there's a lot that's redacted about her history, huh!" that I assume this is a plot thread they're leaving hanging for later. But I feel like the big moment would have resonated better if they gave us a little more info to establish this character, other than "she was heterosexual" and "the Orokin were fucked up, don't forget" haha.

(I do find it funny that the storyline about Ballas, who got Divorced So Badly that he Caused Nearly All Of Today's Problems, is all wrapped up, but the story keeps going "no no, don't worry, there's still plenty of opportunity to remind you how fucked the Orokin were." Here's these two people that broke some insipid law about conceiving a child & so their bosses and leaders broke their brains and turned them into bio-weapon lapdogs as punishment. Every time they go "BTW Something Was Deeply Wrong With The Orokin & We Still Feel The Aftershock Of That Today" I clap my hands like a seal.)

Warframe Babies Are Born!!!!! This little tyke is fuckin weird. What's their problem. I think it's weird and cool. I don't really feel much about "this character is a parent now!" type of storylines. (I did pop off when Stalker got to do his shithead honourable samurai defending a child with one arm thing. I'm a sucker for that & they made it coooooool. It feels like they're setting up some kind of "Lone Wolf and Cub" situation. The scythe being juiced up with BabysPower was also funny.) The baby thing is neat to me from the perspective of, like... This is something weird and new that's never happened before in this universe. That's exciting and kind of scary! I'm interested to see where they go with that. (Presumably in a year or two. Very funny to drop this on us when a completely different major story arc is right around the corner with 1999.)

Gianni's delivery was fuckin killer. I'm excited for whatever next arc they do with Stalker if it means they're gonna pay my boy to grunt and yell and scream more. It feels very strange to be acquainted with two people who've done voice acting in "Warframe" now. Me next? ^_^

I like our new Corpus weirdo. I hope she comes back. Fun to get more stuff with the Sisters of Parvos & with Mr. Granum himself. But I liked her a lot. It got a fuckin laugh out of me to have her through all the quest excited about her big promotion that she's going to get & resolving that with "Is that a fuckin baby??? Fuuuuuck! They don't pay me enough to shoot a baby with a gatling gun!" I wish her ending scene was a little more than just stoically standing aside but literally anything else I can think of feels way too cheesy or on-the-nose.

The facial animations on the Operator were really fuckin weird. I just remembered that. I thought that was just a thing on my end but I watched someone else play & the faces looked weird for them too.

Hunhow's a good inclusion. I like him seeing the Stalker stewing in his own misery because he hates the only people that could offer him help & going "aw man, c'mon buster, don't be like me now." I like his signature that he puts in his emails. I like that he's still an emotionally constipated weirdo that hates us but is still endeared to us in some way. (They make nods to The New Strange in his ending email, which makes sense given that this also feels like a quest setting up More Weird Shit In The Future, but I do get a laugh that it also reads as "JADE WAS PREGNANT? OKAY... WELL. DON'T FORGET THAT I HAVE A WOMB TOO, KID." Thanks Grandpa. Love you too Grandpa. Thanks for the sweeties Grandpa.)

The event quest feels like a nice bow on top. I like the parallels between Jade and Ordis. Wanting to afford her the dignity in death he could never be given. Acknowledgement of Ordan Karris is fun!!! (The line about him being conflicted with the thought of Granum un-cephalon'ing him has me rubbing my hands together.) I'm excited that we're getting so much of Parvos Granum lately. What a shit head. It's funny to see him so hyped up about Ordan. "Duuuude! Your history's famous killer!! That's awesome? Do you wanna work for me? C'monnnnn we both hate the legacy of the Orokin. Wouldn't it be awesome if MY rule was the one dehumanizing you and wielding you as a weapon instead?" This is something they've been establishing as early as "Parvos and Ballas in bed with one another doing shady back-room deals over a Warframe bodyguard and specter particle research" but it's fun whenever they sow the seeds of Parvos being so much like the Orokin he hated.

I wrote more than I thought I was going to!!! I like the thematic through-line idea of this quest but I wish they executed on it better. I like the stuff this is presumably establishing for the future. I really like the event quest as... not quite an epilogue, I guess, but as an addition. Other than that I thought it was okay! I wasn't expecting anywhere near the level of Whispers in the Walls, but that quest being such a high bar makes a "pretty okay" quest stick out to me a little, haha.

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

clarifying something in regards to my trigun meta, because i’m realizing finally why people get so tetchy with me about it.

tl;dr: can i please talk about canon events of consent violation as an entirely separate conversation from the fandom concept of a ship? i’m talking about what is, not what if.

cw: trigun spoilers, rape, incest. you know the drill.

also, because i made this mistake once before: if you use or interpret this post as some kind of tirade against kv shippers, or get morally righteous about icky fetishists in my notes: fuck off, you do not speak for me, i hate you, and this is exactly why we need to be able to separate analysis and shipping.

moving on.

okay but. people do understand. that rape is not necessarily about attraction or even about sex, right?

when i talk about the scenes i describe as sexual assault in trigun, i’m not saying that it means knives/vash is canon. i’m saying that there’s a deliberate construction to the narrative that makes knives’ violation of his siblings’ consent a driving force of the plot and what eventually screws him over.

i know this is a “yelling in the library and expecting not to be shushed” situation. you can’t take a piss in fandom without someone asking if you have a fetish.

but i really think we can stand to at least not keep putting square pegs in round holes, here.

yes, i know, you tag non-con with a slash too. but i’m not talking about shipping when i talk about knives violating the consent of vash and his sisters. those are two different modes of engaging with consent violation and relationships that involve it.

attraction and desire can be motives behind assault. but it’s not the only or even the most driving motivation. assault — violation of consent — is about power. having and exercising power over another. regardless of that’s to satisfy a personal desire or to force them to comply or just to hurt them.

(this is the same reason that using “pedophilia” as the catch-all it’s currently used as is rather than its actual definition is Fucking Stupid, but i digress)

when i discuss the metaphysical acts i refer to as analogous to rape, i am not saying that knives’ actions and his treatment of vash are driven by attraction (exclusively — that’s a conversation for another post) or that he fuses with his sisters to have an incestuous genocide orgy.

i’m saying that it’s extremely telling how knives treats his siblings, the acts of domination over them and the violation of their consent, their bodily autonomy, and their willpower, when his stated goal is to prevent humans from doing the same.

knives believes in power. that’s the only thing he believes in. and fundamentally, that’s why his attempts to “help” the dependent plants results in far more harm than good, and ultimately in failure.

he doesn’t understand freedom. he understands power. so for plants to be safe, in his eyes, there can be no humans that could hold power over them — the only one with the right to overpower them is him.

in vash’s case, the line blurs — vash is almost a whole, real person to him. he wants his cooperation, wants his company, he does desire him, in one way or another. but if vash won’t listen to him, won’t comply, won’t cede, won’t indulge in power for power’s sake [july incident, trimax] there’s no choice but to overpower him. consume him.

and the other reason i describe these events as assault, as rape — they are not just violations, not just acts of control. they have consequences. knives takes power from his siblings. keeps it, hoards it, so they have no way to challenge him. he literally consumes [trimax] and warps [stampede] his sisters’ bodies and destroys their homes. they cannot go back what they were before he raped them. and neither can vash — knives’ actions, nearly all of them, are designed to isolate vash. to make him terrified of his own body. to keep him from reaching out to humans. to give him nowhere to run but back to knives, knives who will stop hurting him, stop him from being hurt, if he’d just listen.

does knives love his siblings? yes. but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. and when all you have are knives… well.

shipping is a what if. this is just what is.

[sock-to-the-third]

Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells

[Informal]

I got to admit, Rogue Protcol was pretty banger. I was a little lukewarm on Miki but I love how it’s relationship to Abene helped to further flesh out Murderbot’s social needs. Like, it makes sense that Murderbot may want a tribe of its own from the way it cares about people but with how much they avoided people it was hard to tell until this one.

The twists and turns on this one— Mhm-mhmm, so good! I don’t need to be surprised to enjoy a good ass story but it certainly doesn’t hurt, no surey! Lol

The exploration of “pet robots” was intriguing. I especially found the part about how certain robots were more likely to be touched and have less bodily autonomy like pet robots versus a SecUnit or an AI who didnn’t have a body had less of those interactions.

Also my heart so went out to Murderbot when it had be glued up. Poor fella just wants people to fuck off yet needs them TvT.

Wilken was such a vibe. I love how much of an ass she was. Idk, gotta love an abbrasive mini-antag.

I’m curious how Wells is going to handle Murderbot seeing Dr Mensah again. Something tells me she missed and genuinely worried about Murderbot which should make for a good reuinion. I do hope they work out some of their differences to be friends. With how anti-social Murderbot can be, it feels like it’d be moving mountains to assert its feelings in such a fashion.

I think the book with ART is my favorite so far but I haven’t read one that I don’t like which is like such a vibe since I rarely can stick with a series for very long. Usually I get through a book +half and I’m like “yeah no…” I think it has something to do with the quicker pacing and compact story. There’s liesure time and some silly stuff sure but it keeps with it.

Good vibes.

[softness-and-shattering]

Its really not hypothetical though. Cyborgs already exist and theyre reliant on companies and equipment that can screw them over at any moment.

There was a company that did bionic eyes that went bankrupt, didnt give their customers any warning and one day their eyes just stopped working.

People have pacemakers and all kinds of equipment that can be legally, surgically removed if they can't afford to pay insurance anymore.

IUD's are a kind of cybernetic implant than can cause all kinds of trouble while inserted and can require emergency removal.

An iron lung, any prosthetic, a pacemaker, birth control, insulin pumps, a heart stent, heating aids, a hip replacement, screws in a broken bone, boob jobs, bottom surgery, any mobility aid, I dont know the exact terms but feeding tubes and catheters and catheter bags, theres plenty.

Its not a fun hypothetical its a grim dystopian reality. "Reasonably accepted and possible" doesnt begin to cover necessary preconditions for the bodily autonomyand human dignity of people who already require man-made assisstance to live, nevermind doing it for *fun* when you could just keep your autonomy and physical independence from insurance companies and drs and shareholders, when that's a real choice you can make instead of an imperfect solution to keep on living.

And if you didnt actually mean disabled people (and trans people), don't you dare tell me we're not normal and shouldnt be considered. We're on the fucking front lines. We are the MOST relevant people in this discussion. without much choice in the matter so maybe in a few decades you might sign away your health for a body mod for which we've been the test subjects. If you actually care join the fight for our rights. Anyone can become disabled at any time and believe me when its your turn you'll wish there were better protections in place already. You'll wish you hadnt just brushed us off as "not the people [anything] is about" because *obviously* we're the fringe weirdos who don't matter, instead of a rapidly growing population being left behind by everyone who can still cling to the pretense that theres no pandemic and everything is fine and youll be safe because bad things just dont happen to you. Instead of the people currently navigating various cybernetics and implants and being fucked over by the capitalism of this all.

[thenarator]

Hi please ramble about how much Nighteye SUCKS (either in HAOT or canon) bc ur rambling is very on point it gives me l i f e (don’t do it if u don’t want to tho)

i’m not gonna rant about “heroics and other things that don’t require superpowers” because that fic is going to contain plenty of ranting a few chapters from now, but i will absolutely go off about canon nighteye.

i fucking hate how canon tries to imply that nighteye is a basically good person who’s been driven to extremes of behavior by his desire to save all might. that’s literally not what’s happening here at all. he has been a toxic influence on all might from the beginning, because he perceives his “love” for all might as giving him a kind of ownership. he believes he has the right to dictate all might’s life to him because nighteye thinks he knows best because of his quirk, and if he knows best then what other people want doesn’t matter.

let’s talk about boundaries.

a boundary is a rule that a person sets in place to maintain their comfort. it could be “i don’t work weekends” or “i don’t have sex when i’m drunk” or even “i don’t like to be touched.” all might has set multiple boundaries with nighteye, and nighteye had disrespected every single one. the most egregious form of boundary violation is violation of bodily autonomy, ie. rape, institutionalization, forced medical procedures, etc. however, violations of any boundary are serious business, and nighteye has crossed both physical and emotional boundaries with all might.

first, all might didn’t want sidekicks. he didn’t think he could trust a sidekick with his secret, so he decided to just not have any. however, he broke this rule to make nighteye his sidekick. that wasn’t his idea. he didn’t see nighteye’s career and go “hm, i think i can make an exception for him.” nighteye came to all might asking to be his sidekick. we don’t know exactly how he went about convincing all might, but we can extrapolate that it wasn’t a snap decision for all might. canon tells us that nighteye was his sidekick for less than a decade, and that was less than a decade ago. all might has been in business for like 40 years. he was well established as the symbol of peace before nighteye came along. he didn’t need nighteye, he had no reason to break his personal rule. nighteye was the one who crossed his boundary to gain entrance into all might’s life.

that’s already super sus but let’s continue.

second, all might didn’t want to tell too many people his secret. whether the decision to tell nighteye about ofa came bundled with the decision to take him on as a sidekick we don’t know, but we know that was another boundary nighteye crossed. again, all might didn’t, like, watch nighteye at the sports festival and decide to tell him. it was nighteye’s efforts that put pressure on all might to tell him the truth.

thirdly, all might didn’t want nighteye to use his quirk on him. we know this for a fact: it’s told to us in a flashback in which all might gets justifiably angry about the betrayal. this is a hard physical boundary that all might set with nighteye, and nighteye violated it to look into his future and see how he would die. that’s treated like a small thing, but it’s not at all! that is a huge violation of trust! nighteye’s quirk involves touching someone! setting aside the metaphysical headfuck nighteye’s future vision seems to be, he touched all might with the intent to violate his wishes! that’s super fucking not ok! and then he uses what he learned to try and manipulate all might into doing what he wanted, retiring directly following his injury at the hands of afo. thankfully all might decided there that nighteye’s actions were too big a breach of trust to keep nighteye in his life, but that was a serious decision made with very good justification.

fourthly, and this is a bit weirder because the boundary is fuzzy but the action is unforgiveable, nighteye disregards all might’s choice of successor and tries to undermine izuku’s confidence to make him give up one for all to mirio.

holy.

fucking.

shit.

like, i guess you could say that it’s an implied boundary rather than a stated boundary, but all might giving izuku his quirk (which cannot be taken by force) is a pretty strong declaration of his wishes! all might chose izuku for his successor! that is not something nighteye gets to question! and it’s certainly not a thing he gets to try to circumvent by destroying izuku’s confidence! nighteye’s not stupid, he could tell that this was a huge decision for all might and he did not make it lightly. he knew that izuku was important to all might. but he still attacked izuku. he still took him on as a work study student with the express purpose of undermining his confidence. everything he did and said to izuku was a direct attack on all might’s decision, all might’s right to choose. because nighteye doesn’t think all might deserves the right to choose if he’s going to make choices nighteye doesn’t like.

because that’s the thing isn’t it? all might isn’t a person to nighteye. he’s a thing. a thing that nighteye has decided his has ownership of. he thinks he knows best and so he’s the only one who gets to make decisions. all might is at best a child who doesn’t know what’s good for him, and at worst a doll that has no relevant opinion at all. all might isn’t allowed to have boundaries if nighteye doesn’t like them. he isn’t allowed to make decisions if nighteye doesn’t agree. and nighteye will do anything to gain and maintain the control over all might and his choices that he thinks he deserves.

tl;dr nighteye is toxic as fuck and always has been, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[elaphaemourra]

🖊 + Any of them ~

Hooooo this is a fckn, You Have Given Me Too Much Power. I have So Many Words.

Gonna be real tho, this is gonna be a Big Thing about Mita bc I have a fckn AU where he's the Outlander and I have some FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. Bc he's part of my main continuity as an adjacent player to the IA and BH storylines, sharing agent crew/other random shit with Phaeyla for the IA stuff (he got Vector and Scorpio, Phae got the rest) and serving as Another sidequest generator for Jeni in the BH line (I give Jeni so many nerds to keep track of whoops).

(THIS IS ALREADY LONG, AND I'M ABOUT 8 PARAGRAPHS IN, SO IT'S GETTING A READ MORE WHILE I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT)

Uh, TL;DR, Mita is handling being Commander about This Well:

OK SO in NORMAL canon he goes with Lana and Koth to go fetch the Outlander (who I decided is actually one of Zal's apprentices, a Voss named Thera-nal, until Zal fckn goes 'no fuck this. I have ghost experience. Gimme the emperor u don't have to deal with this urself' and steals Valk from her bc Good Inquisidad Takes On The Oof Ghost For His Kid) and then gets fckn Ditched on Zakuul. Like straight up that whole 'get the outlander on the ship, Vaylin is 3 meters away FUCK FUCK FUCK' thing, he pushes Thera-nal on and then the ship takes off. Without him. And he does a dive off the platform bc he's like 'nah' @ Vaylin and knows he can survive a Really Long Fall. It's all very dramatic, very ciffhangery. I'm still writing the next chapter beyond that in Left Behind.

He ends up fckn, roughing it on Zakuul, gets himself a sort-of job posing as an assassination droid in a gladiator ring (bc i'm a NERD for gladiator shit), grows up, gains some confidence. Knife baby gets a grow up and a glow up. It's awesome.

BUT. BUT I HAVE AN AU WHERE HE'S THE OUTLANDER. AND IT'S AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF WHY HE SHOULD NEVER BE IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING EVER.

He and Lana don't like each other. It's a Thing. They can put their differences aside for the sake of Professionalism or when they give each other the 'r u seeing this shit' Look when someone else is being Stupid in both their opinions, but they don't like each other (this is true in the normal canon as well, they're very antagonistic to each other, it's a little silly how petty it is but it's Fun). Despite this, and their tendencies to piss each other off on purpose, Mita thinks she's the most tolerable of the initial Pile of People. The Conflict between Koth and Senya was A Lot for him to handle, and he doesn't do Leadership Positions very well. About an hour after they picked Senya up, he was already out of patience.

The constant arguing got to him SO FAST, it ran him out of patience and Fucks so quickly, he started getting real snippy. By the time they got to asylum he was throwing around threats to people who couldn't keep their Shit to themselves. He TRIED to do good things, to pull together enough patience and good will to be Benevolent in his actions, but as his patience fell apart, so did basically everything else good. Mita getting Tora was a whole Thing where he did the Nice Thing by making her apologize to Vik and when she talked back he turned around and drew a knife on her, told her to keep her mouth shut if she was going to complain because he WOULD kill her, and he DIDN'T need an engineer/mechanic THAT much. That he'd use her corpse as payment for the next batch of cargo, which, MITA. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.

He started falling into MUCH older patterns of thinking, refusing to take any action that was Any risk to himself. It's a thought process he had before he got shoved full of implants, before he realized that he could be a Better Person and started being a rebellious little shit in Intelligence and taking risks that helped Other People instead of just being single-mindedly focused on his own self-preservation.

He's falling back into it, which is BRUTAL because he's making more and more devastating choices, and where he saved people by shutting down that reactor on the First blip of Zakuul, before he ran out of Patience and Fear, and he did Good Lightsided Things to Help People, he just went off with Kaliyo to blow the absolute shit out of that whole thing, and where he used to be like 'shit, we need to make things Better', now he's started talking about Vengeance. Which uh. Does me a Concern about Knife Baby.

Basically none of the advisors actually LIKE him. At best, Senya and him have a solid enough mutual understanding of Work Vs Free Time between them, but she's also Pissed that he keeps taking the Big Death Options and fucking over her citizens. Theron's basically constantly giving him the Pensive Side-Eye because of how consistently Freaky Mita has become. Their first interaction was Prickly at best, and Mita hasn't gained any more patience.

Ofc, Mita and Lana just Don't get along, but they at least vibe on the level of 'i am So Done with everyone here' and she's pulled him aside more than once to get him to cool off a little. Though mostly she pawned him off on HK, when the droid was still aroujd, so she's at least Done Something for his mental state, and he liked that droid enough for talking with him being Relaxing. Kind of.

He's a volatile Commander who Can and Will pull people who irritate him aside to threaten them with mortal or bodily harm, or yeet a datapad at the wall for that Big Sound, or just punch a wall while he's got gauntlets on, to get everyone to Shut Up and Pay Attention so he can yell at them for not keeping their Interpersonal Shit out of the war room and out of his presence. He's basically single-handedly driving the Alliance into the ground, driving it forwards through pure force of will and by making people scared enough to work together without Complaining, hoping that Arcann will give before he or the Alliance do.

He's refused every offer by Valkorion for Everything, and right now that's his saving grace.

Koth bounced, furious with Mita and Kaliyo's 'let's blow this bitch up' thing, and Mita's little circle of people he Actually Likes has uh, maybe Not the greatest influences among them. His inner circle is Kaliyo, Scorpio, Tora (which surprised me, but they are Remarkably chill with each other for people whose introduction was Humiliation and Death Threats, like, a 'they'd vibe and drink in a dark corner together' sort of deal), and Even More Surprising, Aric Jorgan.

Completely separate from the Alliance Advisory Squad, Jorgan seems to be REALLY good for Mita. He's just kinda, it's Working Out. Mita's doing Nicer Shit when Jorgan's around. I'm not sure if it's just, the lack of Shit-Stirrers, the comfort and familiarity of military company, Jorgan's 'ur not the boss of me' thing back in the swamps on Zakuul, or what. But Mita's doing Good Shit when that rad cat man's around. Hell, it might be that he just doesn't want to disappoint his new friend. But like, they're actually a STELLAR team friendship-wise. Mita's actually Relaxed enough to get shit done efficiently, do LIGHTSIDED SHIT, and he basically ONLY brings Jorgan when he goes raiding star fortresses. Kaliyo and Scorpio are higher up on Mita's 'would send out alone' list, but only because he worked with Kaliyo when he and Phaeyla got assigned to each other, and Scorpio was HIS team member.

Even with that though, Mita's reputation among Alliance personnel isn't a Kind one. He's terrifying, volatile and quick to snap at anyone and everyone who gets on his nerves. People avoid him in the halls unless they Absolutely Need Him, and there's ABSOLUTELY a network of people you can ask as a 'where's the Commander now' if you really need to spend the day Avoiding Him.

He's also leaned Heavily into the aesthetic of Big Scary. Dressed like a Sith all in black and white and grey (and a Republic insignia on his belt just for the added cognitive dissonance that gives him), with a Delightfully Menacing Helmet that makes him nigh unreadable. The voice modulation is something he Knows how to use to make himself more intimidating, and he knows how to hold himself to make Pointed Silence into something that can cause fear. He really leaned into that 'scaring people into working for you' thing, which isn't sustainable, and he KNOWS it isn't, but he's hoping to get shit done fast enough that it won't MATTER how unsustainable that type of leadership is.

He's Stressed and Tired and Angry, and he's going down a deep dark hole. He needs to be fckn, sat down and Confronted about where he's going because he MADE that choice to be better, on BALMORRA. It cost him his free will, his autonomy, and his identity. He was PHYSICALLY unable to say his own name without his upper body motor function locking up, for a long time, because it was part of the programming of his implants. He gave Everything up to be Better, and it took so much to get those things back, and now he's squandering it all by falling back into who he used to be.

He needs some Time to Chill The Fuck Out, an Intervention for what he's doing with himself, and a goddam nap.

Knife Baby is Stressed Out. He's the Team Medic. He was never designed to be In Charge, and it took its toll Very Quickly, and it's devolved into something Brutal and Unsustainable. Which is why this is an AU, and why my Canon Commander for the timeline is Zal.

Zal's a good leader, good under pressure, patient and fair almost to a fault, and a good person.

Mita can't handle the strain, and he KNOWS it. But he's doing it anyways, and will drag the people around him down with him if it means he'll win in the end. And in the mean time, he's frustrated, volatile, and Not Very Fun To Be Around.

[dancinginredshoes]

Sparkle Sparkle 2016 Gift

I drew @docholligay for her own Harumichi gift exchange! I ended up writing fics for two of her prompts instead of the one I planned to do. Happy Chanukah and New Years, Doc!

A Guide to Self Destruction

The Beginning Rehab was a joke. What else could it be if those in charge were just as damaged as those they were supposed to be helping? The night shift had never been pleasant to her health, not even when she started. Of course, back then Haruka had just been the newbie: only stuck on night shift since she had no seniority. It was awful, but it paid enough to get her a real apartment, her own apartment. She was finally free of her mother’s house and eventually, if she just kept pushing through, she would amass enough time to be free from this terrible eternal night.

But then her Gran fell. She had been the one to take her to the ER. She was the one who had to listen to the doctors explain that this fall was just a symptom of something far worse. She had cried alone in the bathroom trying to process it all.

It was probably then that she started cutting again. There, in the poorly lit ER bathroom, she used her Swiss army knife to open a thin red line across her belly. As the blood welled up, she could hear it whisper promises of control and release. Haruka just cleaned it up and headed back to her Gran’s room.

From there on, she took over as her Gran’s primary care giver. It’s not like anyone else in the family was going to. She set up Gran in her bed and took to sleeping on the couch. She was fine helping Gran in the toilet or after she was sick—she had become immune to bodily fluids from work. Haruka learned to subsist in coffee alone and used all of the money she had to feed and medicate her. She signed up for the night shift indefinitely in order to scrape together just a little bit more.

Do you know what it’s like to try to live on almost no sleep? Haruka guessed it was similar to being raised from the dead; she was functioning but most of what made her her was gone or wrong now. So the cutting never really went away. She had meant to stop when she brought Gran home, but it honestly had just gotten worse.

Every night during her break time, she would sneak off to one of the less used bathrooms and draw little lines on her skin. Yes she knew it was a bad way to exercise control and blah blah blah… But, God, it was the only time in the day that she did something for her self. With every little red track revealed, she would release a little rush of joy.

But it all changed when she got interrupted by a patient. And not just any patient, but the one that was incredibly gorgeous to boot! Haruka didn’t understand at all why, instead of bolting or ratting her out or even making fun of her, this woman helped her clean up the cuts and just talked with her.

And she came back the next night and the one after that and so on. And Haruka found herself drowning in Michiru’s eyes and the sound of her voice. She knew that this had moved beyond acceptable patient/orderly friendliness, but it was so easy to trade one harm for another. So, when Michiru first went up on tiptoes to kiss her, Haruka didn’t even try to resist. She just fell.

The Ending Rehab was a farce, just like everything else. Her parents had never taken interest in her life until her frivolities found their way into the tabloids. What she did behind closed doors had always been fine until it began to taint the public image her parents had painted. So they publicly lamented and leaked pictures of her checking into rehab to the press while, behind closed doors, Michiru had lost both her financial stream and her medical autonomy. She still wasn’t quite sure which she was more miffed at.

At least she had been given a private room. When she was released from counseling or group “enrichment”, she would retreat to solitude. When she decided to entertain, it was in her single. When she had left her room earlier, it had still been a private room.

So there was no reason for another patient to be reclining on her bed eating pudding.

“Excuse me, but you appear to have mistaken my room for yours. Would you please leave?” It wasn’t a request, but, in response, the other patient sucked on her spoon for a moment and released it with a pop.

“Nope.”

At the beginning of her stay, Michiru would have enjoyed breaking this girl. Putting the full force of her anger into the cat and mouse games that would keep this annoying addict from ever looking her way without cringing would have a fair substitute for her captors. But tonight had been nice. The past few weeks had been nice. The feel of running her hands through soft blonde hair, the ache in her calves from reaching up on tiptoe, the warmth of lips against hers whispering her name. No, she would rather use her energy on remembering the thrill and buzz, not dealing with a problem.

She pulled her shawl around her shoulders and crossed the room to the call button.

“Dr. Meiou is dealing with another patient, and Nurse Hino is taking her fifteen minute break now. It’s a waste hitting the call button; no one is going to answer.”

Michiru turned back to the intruder but stayed near the call button.

“What an interesting answer. For what reason do you know the night nurse’s schedule?” The girl on the bed sat up and smiled.

“I’m a people person. I’m a night owl. And,” she twirled her spoon. “I’m in here often.”

“So what does a insomniac repeat addict want?”

“I want you to stop.” All humor dropped from the interloper’s voice. Leaving her trash on the bed, she got up and leaned against the wall facing Michiru. “For the past week, you have been sleeping with Haruka, and you need to break it off. Now.”

Michiru’s cheeks reddened, but she kept the shock out of her voice.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business--”

“It’s not. It’s not any of my business if a patient and an orderly are having an affair. But did you know that Haruka’s grandmother is ill? That the only reason her grandmother receives good care is because Haruka is looking after her herself? Do you know how much she makes a year as an orderly? How the only reason she works nights is it pays just a little bit more? How even with that she can barely afford her box of an apartment and food let alone deal with an ailing relative to boot?” She slammed her fist into the wall near Michiru’s face and leaned in close. “I’m in intimate contact with rich bastards like you all of the time, and I’ve seen first hand how you work. This is all a cute distraction from how dull this retreat mummy and daddy sent you on is but when this all comes to light—and it always does—it’s not people like you who deal with the fall out. It’s people like her. A budget cut is enough to fire her. A scandal? That would be her career.”

Michiru clenched her hands to keep them from shaking, “D-don’t think you can threaten me!”

The girl just laughed and pulled back.

“If I thought I could make you run, I’d have already hidden the drugs in your room or beat that pretty face.” She reached behind her and adjusted the bright red bow in her hair. “What’s fucked up is that I actually think you like her—and I get it, she is easy to like. So I’m throwing all of my money away on the chance that you like her enough to not want to hurt her.”

She walked to the door of the room and turned to blow back a kiss. “And don’t let that be a wasted bet.”

The whirlwind left the room and Michiru stayed against the wall. She could see the obvious carrot and stick tactic—it wouldn’t be hard to maneuver against it, to retaliate, to continue on with those sweet caresses. Instead, she rose, got into bed, and let the taste of a kiss go cold on her lips.

It’s My Party and I’ll Kill You If I Want To Michiru knew too many builders. They would amass things like power, money, or even a large number of muscles to lord over others. They didn’t need words, just an institution behind them. I am the mountain, they’d seem to say, how can a small sapling like you grow in the darkness of my shade? There was only an inch of height she would need to counter. Her delicate and sharp heels were more than enough to cut to the heart of a mountain.

She knew too many insects too. People who liked to find small ways to nip at their target undetectable to the rest of the world. Then when the victim finally snapped—and they always did—the vermin could claim to be the victim and use society against their target. Michiru had enough nets to keep the bloodsuckers off of her. Still, she could easily pluck a fly from the air with none the wiser.

But why be a mountain? A fly? She would erode the mountain and drown the fly.

And the tide went out…

Michiru slid herself effortlessly between a rock and a hard place, halting the argument in place. She pressed her body against her lover as if everything was still the party it had been. Still she kept her one leg bent behind her to show the stiletto’s warning to the other one.

“Haruka, darling, they’re about to bring out the cake, and everyone is wondering where you went.”

Lowering her voice she said, “Also Aino has already found her way onto one of the tables and is refusing assistance.” She gently touched Haruka’s arm. “I fear you’re the only one who can get her down safely.” Haruka took one last moment to glare at Seiya before nodding and heading back to the group’s table. For all of her anger, her hand was ever soft in Michiru’s grasp. As soon as Haruka was far enough gone, she heard a voice behind her.

“Excuse me Miss Kaioh, I didn’t mean—”

The tide roared back to the shore.

“Of course you did.” She turned and caught Seiya’s eyes. “You are a scared and lost little pup in the wake of your master’s disappearance.” Seiya tried to cut her off, but there was no stopping the cascading words. “Yes, it must feel good to goad others into fights. You can work off your tension and still come out the moral victor.”

Seiya didn’t say anything, but remained where she was.

“Even better if you can challenge your way into a new pack. A new master, new orders, you wouldn’t have to expend so much energy on thinking.”

Never dropping her gaze, Michiru came closer and placed her hand on the other girl’s shoulder. Whispering into her ear, “But how does it feel to know you will never woo the girl you think you love? With every fight you claim in her name, the more she will turn from you in disgust. You will never be her knight—you are not even fit to be her dog.” She dug her finely manicured nails into the girl’s shoulder and let go.

“Now be off. I’ve been planning Haruka’s party for months, and she will enjoy it.”

The sea released her and strode away, never looking back. Maybe she was allowed to breathe for a bit, but Seiya wasn’t sure if she was free from drowning.

[infiniteglitterfall]

TL;DR: (1) Those are not the only risks of a second Trump term. (2) All these posts that act like Biden personally flies out to commit genocide in his free time, so the two parties are basically the same, are pure psy-op. (3) And aggressive fucking reminder that Trump's term came with a literal and VERY HIGH death toll.

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm sure every president has a death toll to his name. But when Trump got elected, I realized he was going to have an incredibly obvious, blatant, massive death toll in the U.S. alone. And he really, REALLY did.

Anon is really lining up the straw men:

The US hasn't sold white phosphorus to Israel at any point during this war. (And it's weird that people keep framing it as "sending" arms to Israel. Like it's a care package or something.)

Yes, it must have at some point, because the Washington Post figured out from the evidence that Israel was using white phosphorus made in 1989 and 1992. Israel was last recorded using it in 2004. I'm just saying, all of that is a really massive window.

It's been ten months and there's still no evidence that Israel used white phosphorus as a weapon in Gaza. It's consistently used all over the world to mark locations and provide cover, because you can use it with a direction and altitude that keeps it away from civilians even over inhabited areas.

Trump has, in fact, been very clear that he wants Israel to "finish Gaza off," and has also talked about "giving" Ukraine to Russia;

Trump separated 5,000 children from their families, and lost track entirely of a lot of them. As of last year, Biden had reunited 2,900 of them with their families.

Biden is not separating thousands more immigrating children from their parents, as Trump did, or keeping them in refrigerated cells, as Trump did.

Yes, the system still sucks, and as conservatives love to point out, it sucked before Trump too. But there's a reason that people were fucking horrified when Trump intentionally escalated everything bad about it and added lots of his own touches.

And nobody can protect marriage rights if people attack them the right way. The Trump-stacked Supreme Court has already overturned the case that marriage rights were based on.

(Trump also let Texas ban emergency contraceptives. Iowa has stopped paying for Plan B for survivors of sexual assault through its Crime Victim Compensation Program. And Idaho bars “abortion-related activities” in school-based clinics, which prohibits health clinics at public schools, including higher education institutions, from dispensing emergency contraceptives, except in cases of rape.

Also, it really seems like "gay marriage" above being used dismissively here as a stand-in for what Trump will do to the LGBTQ community in general, which is a genuine fucking problem.)

But I'm going to go ahead and address all of this in good faith anyway, in the hopes that the others in the thread care. Or at least that someone cares.

So: Okay, but how many people are looking not only at how bad things were during each term for them, but also how bad things were for multiple different marginalized groups?

Trump WAS garbage for Muslims! And he was real fucking bold about it, too. He was also garbage for Latinx immigrants. He was also garbage for trans and queer and intersex people. He was also garbage for reproductive rights, and bodily autonomy in general. I could go on and on.

Just looking at ONE of those groups:

No matter how great the straight allies I know are, none of them have any idea how bad things are for LGBTQIA+ people right now unless I spell it out for them.

Much less how much of that comes directly from the far right politicians and Christian Nationalists that Trump thrived on and seriously emboldened.

There are 23 states right NOW where trans youth can't get healthcare. Not with the permission of their parents, their doctors, their therapists, not if they had the permission of everyone in their county ffs.

All of those states impose professional or legal penalties on health care practitioners who still provide minors with gender-affirming care.

In six states, it's a felony.

A fucking felony.

And, of course, all of these laws have special exceptions that let them continue forcing hormones, surgery, and other treatments on intersex children and infants.

This has also had a big impact on trans adult access to care. Many clinics that used to help trans people have closed, because these laws meant losing too many clients that it was no longer legal for them to treat.

Trump supports all of this. During his term, he let health insurance companies refuse to cover transgender care.

There is absolutely no fucking way he won't intentionally make it much worse. He has already shown that he rules by making sudden decisions and declarations. He ended trans people serving in the military with a damn tweet.

My "brother from another mother" had his bottom surgery, which had been scheduled for months, canceled out of nowhere because North Carolina's state health insurance stopped covering it.

He almost killed himself.

Anyone who knows anything about trans people knows that this is what happens. There is a direct, and very SHORT, line between "you cannot transition" and "you want to die."

39% of trans youth ages 13-17 live in states that deny them access to gender-affirming care. Which means they're intentionally being forced to go through the wrong puberty.

There are currently eight states where K-12 school faculty and staff are now LEGALLY REQUIRED to out trans kids to their parents.

And five more where state law encourages forced outing of trans youth, but doesn't require it.

In Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Iowa, Idaho, Kansas, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Utah, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Montana, sex is now defined by what you were assigned at birth.

Arkansas, Idaho, Iowa, Kentucky, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Tennessee ban students and staff in K-12 schools from using the bathroom that doesn't match your birth certificate.

(In Tennessee schools, trans people can still use single-user bathrooms. But if a student, parent, or employee sees you in a multi-user school bathroom or other facility, they can sue you.)

In Alabama, North Dakota, and Mississippi, students, faculty, and staff, from kindergarten through higher education, must use only the facilities consistent with their biological sex. This is also the case for adults in some, but not all, government buildings.

That includes prisons and juvenile detention facilities. Which is exceptionally bad for TGNC people. As Miss Major can tell you.

In Mississippi and Louisiana, it also includes public college dorms.

In Mississippi, it also includes domestic violence shelters.

In Florida and Utah, it also includes buildings “owned or leased by the state, a state agency, or a political subdivision," meaning county or municipal governments.

That means the ban applies to bathrooms and facilities in airports, public parks, and much more.

Utah is the only one of these states that makes an exception for trans people who have had surgery and legally changed the gender on their birth certificate. However, they are also one of the states that has made it extremely difficult to change the gender marker on your birth certificate.

And if you're asked to leave the bathroom and refuse, you can be charged with trespassing and go to jail.

Where you will, if you're trans, be placed in the wrong jail.

In Arkansas the law only applies to K-12 public and charter schools, not colleges.

But they make up for it with the penalties:

Any individual teachers, principals, or superintendents who allow a transgender student to use a bathroom or facility consistent with their gender identity are subject to fines of a minimum of $1,000 per occurrence.

These are fines of the school staff personally, not of the school district. Parents and guardians can also sue the school district over violations.

Idaho's law is temporarily blocked and going through appeals. Because it was EXTRAORDINARILY bold.

It allowed students to sue schools if they encounter a transgender person in a school multi-user restroom, changing facility, or sleeping quarter (i.e., on an overnight school trip).

If a student wins the lawsuit, they can receive $5,000 per occurrence, as well as additional monetary damages, attorney’s fees, and more.

And although that one is currently blocked, Idaho did pass a law this year that just went into effect in July. It defines gender and sex as being the same, unchangeable under any circumstances, and based on whether your body "should" be able to produce sperm or eggs. It goes on and on and on, basically trying to rule trans people out of existence.

I just.

I could go on for hours. Trump literally tried a coup. Christian Nationalists and white supremacists, including Trump, are actual fucking fascists. And their need to control the bodies of marginalized people is the biggest tell that they're fascists.

Stop pretending that there's no difference between them.

one of the most annoying thing about these us libs is how they think everyone else forgot trump has been president before, so we know how he acted as one and have material evidence of what he did and did not do, and how it compares materially to biden and other presidents, and they all suck, but then they act like trump rounded up millions of middle class whites into camps and nuked the moon as the singular most evil man in human history and biden the saviour gave everyone rights (camps are now good when dems are imprisoning migrants ig) and trump is going to do it again and do genocide worse in gaza somehow (it's okay when dems are sending 2000 lbs bombs and white phosphorus bc uh (checks notes) they are protecting us gay marriage from the gop), just zero care for the us empire's victims while basing their politics on ya dystopia fantasy where they are the main victim and hero

LITERALLY THIS 😭😭😭 one of my Iraqi mutuals and I were literally talking about how things were shitty during trumps presidency and during biden’s presidency and will be shitty again no matter who gets elected