#i think r female antinatalism is having good discussions but its really (justifiably) spicy over there because this is a Hot Topic soooo

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

The r femaleantinatalism vibes are strong here. (Neutral statement. I'm self conscious to admit I lurk there when I'm having a Bad Time©️ and doom scrolling) I'm an aspiring parent, and I stan for the child frees. I especially stan my queer and trans brethren who want to be and are parents. I love the non-cis centered, trans inclusive language in this thread. I think the more we break down the cis/straight normative alleged monopoly on parenthood the better. I'm glad to hear there's pros out there making that choice. I know IIII was over the moon in 2015-ish when I had a gyno who was on gender neutral language for contraceptives etc. In a cis-maybe-egg-y ally way of course, ahem.

I think we all need to work to reduce stigma and improve care, and again, I'm really glad to hear that is slowly happening. Baked in Misogyny is the worst. I would say that part of the rotten natalist ideology is romanticizing suffering as spiritually necessary. All the way back to the Eve's punishment in Eden. This may be because I was raised Catholic, but idk. Thanks, I hate it.

There's a distinct way folks, especially women and afab, are taught to view and accept suffering. People a million times more qualified than me have been spilling ink on it for centuries. Un-learning that is so tedious and hard, but so worth it. Especially if we choose to take the risks associated with pregnancy and parenthood. I know it's been really radical and difficult for myself to learn to self advocate contrary to how I was raised. Y'know, to make sure the Dr. Is treating me like a Person. It wasn't until an appointment went really badly that I even considered having my partner or even just a trusted someone with me. I had just swallowed to do it alone.

We really, really, REALLY gotta work on normalizing clearly understanding the whole enchilada of complications and enhancing support around pregnancy. I think it's already happening with many realities of parenthood with online discussions, but it's just not there with pregnancy.

We deserve a societal landscape as free from herteonormative pro-life Misogyny smog as possible to make clear, informed decisions that we honor and GD respect.

the thing is like. i get that it's scary and makes people who do desire to get pregnant uncomfortable when we talk about the brutality and violence of pregnancy and the damage that pregnancy can do to your body

but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.

the lies around pregnancy - that it's inherently safe, that it doesn't do you permanent damage, that it's only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like

all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that

there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are

but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo

this is a process that permanently changes most people's bodies, and that's even if the pregnancy doesn't do them like. severe illness or injury

and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that

bc to live in a society that intentionally obscures and hides facts about a completely optional and dangerous process does so for a reason, and that reason is based in a very sinister ideology that does not value bodily autonomy or informed consent