#fuck off and reblog or else or whatever
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controversial take i think but i donât like when artists say âdonât like without rebloggingâ on their posts or say theyâll block people who like their art without reblogging. i say this as an artist, if you feel upset often enough by people who like without reblogging then thatâs not on them thatâs on you. and i say this is gently as possible. you are not owed engagement.
#this is not targeted at a specific person or post btw this is just something iâve been seeing a lot recently#also does not account for people who like and put posts on queues#iâve had mutuals like one of my posts and it was on queue for like two months#obviously for people who say âif you only like and not reblog iâll block youâ thatâs fine because you are more than welcome to curate#your own experience on here. however you kinda just sound like a dick lol#a lot of my art doesnât get that much engagement but like. iâm not gonna tell 2/3s of the people who see my art and like it to#fuck off and reblog or else or whatever#itâd make my post a place of assumed hostility instead of something i just want to show people who may or may not enjoy it#[insert paragraph about how people still will feel bad about spending hours on something only for it to get 1:4 likes to reblog ratio]#i see this and i feel you but you start sounding like a youtuber lmao yknow?#it makes me think you view your art more like content than art
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"Zira" "Azi" "Az" SIGHHHHHH
is anybody else irritated at the widespread fandom nicknaming of Aziraphale and fucking nobody else? is that just me? because it really feels like a "oooh [wince-hisses through teeth], no, that's too long and weird. that's too hard. i'm gonna call you This instead" situation, and i do not care for it. it pissed me off when i was writing good omens fanfic thirteen years ago and it pisses me off now. you care enough about everyone else to get their names right, all the unusual demon and angel monikers, but oh no, Aziraphale, oh that's ten whole letters, that's way too long. oh you're not gonna bother to type all that, no, his name is just Zira now.
and like, he's not real, so this super duper does not matter and isn't deeply and incredibly shitty the way it is when it's directed at real people. but it still rubs me the wrong way every time i see it. that's not his name! why is his name not good enough for you to take the time to type out the way you do for everyone else! ugh.
#i dunno. i dunno.#i am hoping posting this gets it off my chest and helps me stop being quite as fucking annoyed about it#this isn't directed at any one person#this is widespread#i haven't seen nicknaming to this degree in ANY other fandom#which is why i can't just tell myself it's a friendly nickname because he's likeable and familiar or whatever#it's definitely a Me Problem but there's so many good posts i haven't reblogged#or have sighed while reblogging or just straight up have stopped reading because of this#i do realize that for a lot of folks#it's probably just that they've seen other people doing it and figured it's just part of the good omens fandom culture#i don't care :/#NOBODY ELSE gets nicknamed like this#aziraphale#good omens#good omens meta#dal is a rage demon#it's been long enough that i think i can add these tags now without it hitting the top of the tag as a 'hate tag'
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START đ just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why đ#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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@gay-loser-tibalt's D&D character and my favorite sorcerer, Promised Purity Ruined! just was thinking about her as i often do and decided to draw her for fun.
#tiefling#dungeons and dragons#ravenloft#borca#my art#will probably reblog this again in morning and again later for the inktober prompt for Demon#...fuck i should draw gabrielle for angel#renee feel free to reblog and add in any notes you want people to know of her#because she's the best D&D character ever made#fuck off anyone else or whatever it's only promised hours now
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the online system community sucks so bad lmao
#(not talking about any of my system friends/mutuals)#vent#vent post#free to interact/reblog whatever though#anyway it sucks because there isnt actually a cohesive community. it is so divided#there is so much infighting its actually fucking wild#and i wish i could say all the infighting is coming from kids who dont know any better but... its not#adult systems have been poisoned by the infighting too. and it never fucking matters#we arent even accomplishing anything#what. exactly. is the point#the syscourse is hell and its constant and it rarely changes anyones minds#not that it matters if anyones minds change or not because it DOESNT. FUCKING. MATTER.#you go into the system community and everyones just DUKING IT OUT WITH EACH OTHER#i genuinely dont fucking care what side of syscourse youre on#you have better things to fucking do!!!!!!#syscourse doesnt MEAN ANYTHING it is one of the most pointless and yet somehow the most dramatic and hateful debates on the internet#WHO FUCKING CARES.#please for the love of god direct your hate towards something else#this is the most dumb and meaningless thing to waste your energy on#none of this matters irl ever#anti syscourse#tw syscourse#anyway yeah if you're plural i am not going to ask questions because it is none of my fucking business and frankly it is nobody elses either#i am unlikely to ever post anything like this again just because i also have better things to do#but i wanted to get it off my chest#we used to engage in syscourse and it was so draining and got us harassed#and in the end we just realized that it is not worth the energy or the fucks to give#again if you say you are plural i will treat you as plural and thats it. i have shit to do man
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okay im not gonna. reblog anything about the superbowl ad mostly cuz i. did not watch it (i have never watched the superbowl) and therefore dont really know what it is and dont really care to look it up. i might go back and delete some of the posts later too
#shay speaks#like i doubt that isra*l was using the superbowl as cover its just. very unfortunate timing#but i dont doubt that getting eyes off of them anyway isnt like. beneficial to them#just bc it wasnt intended doesnt mean its not like. bad for isr*el to have that cover#bc the american media loves sports and will gladly cover the whatever half time show drama there is#idk again i dont know fuck all about the superbowl what even happens in there#like unfortunate coincidences is how im seeing that aspect#and again i havent seen the ad i cant say if it was just. an org that's zionist or if its something else#okay? okay đ#also no reblogs 4 u#turning them off this doesnt need to be reblogged
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begging people to learn the difference between atheism and anti-theism. you can be an atheist without being insanely disrespectful towards minority religions and ethno-religions; it's really not that hard.
if you wanna criticize christianity, you can do so without lumping in innocent people from other cultures; especially those that are actively harmed by the same christian hegemonic ideas you claim to fight against.
#anti-theist gentiles use the terms interchangeably and it annoys me so much. no you're not mad at 'religion' you're mad at christianity.#stop dragging jews and buddhists and everyone else into your stupid bullshit. stop projecting on us. and just say the word 'christianity.'#chances are you will drastically increase your supporter pool because it's not just you who has a bone to pick with christians. also stop#fucking saying that you're 'persecuted' for being atheists. it's such a kick in the face to groups like jews. muslims. hindus. and native#ethno-religious people all of whom have been forcibly assimilated and genocided ever since christians first found us. whatever prejudice#atheists face from christians is NOT systemic or institutional unlike what minority religions face in culturally christian countries.#lucky.txt#antisemitism#social#reblogs turned off cause i'd rather just not deal with argumentative responses on a rant post
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i would like to express three blanket statements for everyone in the notes:
- yes i obviously know that calling people âfamilyâ is a way of referring the other queer people. this is evident in the fact that i used that fucking word in the post jesus christ guys you donât need to try and inform me of this
- related, but this was a rhetorical post. i do not need advice on how to talk to people. i am involved with real life trans groups and am well versed in how to subtly talk to people. i literally made this post while on break from my bad customer service job after seeing multiple trans customers
- maybe this is a me problem but people having dysphoria from being seen as trans is sad to me. like i sorta get it but also hm maybe work on ur self hatred idk. being trans is a joy
reading comprehension questions:
consider the targeted demographic of this post. then consider, do you dislike this demographic? if so, please try changing your opinion or at least scroll away and stop bothering me about it
did the author make reference to old forms of queer communication? if so, it seems like he is familiar with the concept and perhaps refrain from informing the author about it
why might have the author, at first glance, described dysphoria as self hatred? did he really do this, or does he rather acknowledge that one facet of dysphoria stems from depression and deprecation? consider why someone might not want to be seen as trans. is it for safety reasons, or because they have yet to unlearn the perceived shame of being trans, or any other multitude of reasons? any reason is perfectly valid but one may wish to examine their opinions on the cis view of the trans body
seeing trans ppl in public is literally life giving. wish there was a normal way to express to other trans people in public that weâre family and that i love them
#the second one is perhaps a hot take but idc my activity is annoying as fuck rn#*third one. whatever sorry#other posts have said this much more eloquently but obviously yes dysphoria is real and sucks etc#and you cant just make it go away by thinking positive thoughts or whatever else like yeah sometimes you do need hrt or srs or the like#that said. a lot of dysphoria for me and also a lot of other ppl ive seen CAN be eased when you stop hating yourself#like. surround yourself with trans ppl in many stages of transition. explore other mindsets (ie no medical transition etc)#even if they donât apply to you because that personâs experience is no less valid etc#take a note from body neutrality/positivity people#stop giving a shit what cis people think#there are so many things that genuinely ease suffering and it wont work for everyone but wallowing is never the way to go sorry#like i have nothing against you people and i wish you all well. BUT. i am worried for you#because.. when you get hrt or any surgeryâŠ. it wont magically fix your depression you also have to do the work yourself#YOU have to unlearn the cis normative view about how bodies look#well idk. some people as with any marginalized identity go oh! im trans! therefore i cant be transphobic#without unpacking any of the transphobic bullshit that is ingrained in society and themselves#NOT saying that people with bad dysphoria are transphobic of course not. i dont think most of the people in the notes are at all#it is however a related concept okay. no bad faith interpretations of this reblog allowed#SOMEONE had to sit here and read everyones tags and replies and after 22k notes hes a bit ticked off#sorry 4 being a spiteful transsexual fagdyke idgaf#trans
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ămy daddy didn't love me so i guess i've moved onto you
đ pairing: captain john price x fem reader
đ tags: nsfw, daddy kink, undefined age gap, oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex, rough(?) sex, both reader and price have a daddy kink that they indulge in with very little discussion, allusions to reader having a bad relationship with her father (but nothing concrete), price uses a lot of pet names for reader and also calls himself daddy several times
title is inspired by the song peter bogdanovich by my queen CMAT
masterlist
reblogs are always enormously appreciated!
If thereâs one thing you know, itâs that youâre damn good at your job.
You have to be in order to survive in this ridiculous goddamn base. There are protocols to be followed, risk assessments to carry out, weapons and equipment requisition requests to send off, and you have to handle almost all of it for Task Force 141. Thatâs one thing about working with the military â theyâre all about action, and rarely have the patience to fill in their paperwork, and then when they do itâs never done properly.
Youâre patient when you need to be, willing to push when you have to, and you make sure shit gets done. Itâs not an easy job; you work your ass off, and itâs often thankless. Most of your job is done behind the scenes, whether thatâs requisitioning on-the-fly tactical or strategic airlifts, liaising with other units, or trying desperately to smooth over any little problems that might crop up with the higher-ups.Â
Itâs challenging and exhausting, and you love it, but damn, it can be fucking infuriating. Working in a male-dominated environment is a little bit soul-destroying, with every condescending comment and lascivious gaze that lingers over your body. But none of that matters, because you donât need male approval to excel at your job. You donât need male approval for anything.
You repeat it to yourself on the daily, which is something that youâve never had to do before. But before, you werenât working with Captain John Price.
Heâs not⊠rude, per se. If anything, heâs always coolly polite. But itâs obvious, so obvious, that he just barely tolerates you. Heâs gruff, short, to-the-point, and never speaks to you outside of brusque orders. It takes weeks for him to start trusting you with even the most basic of files, and even then chunks of information are often redacted. And it shouldnât matter; youâve worked for men like him before, you know how it goes, and if anything heâs one of the better ones.
In the beginning, when you had first been assigned to the task force, Price had not been happy about it. It had been a tough transition; your assignment had been approved by Laswell in order to take some of the strain of liaising off both her and Price, but the Captain hadnât been too pleased about it. He had seen you as a sort of interloper, a silly little pencil-pusher sent in by the brass to do the grunt work of administration that no one else wants to do.
But you work hard, you always have done. And maybe⊠maybe, part of the reason that you end up busting your balls so hard is because you wantâ no. Maybe you need his approval. Youâd prefer not to think about it; itâs easier to throw yourself into your work, and pretend that youâre doing it for you.
Youâre not even sure how it started, but at some point, Price starts looking at you differently. Maybe he realises that youâre competent at your job, or maybe he just needs to get used to you. Maybe, you hope, heâs finally starting to realise that youâre good at what you do; that you can be an asset to the team, so long as they actually work with you.Â
Whatever it is, he eases off. Stops being such a hard-ass, starts giving you space to do your thing. Eventually, he starts delegating too â stops hoarding the work like a miser, and finally starts treating you like youâre capable of something more than just photocopying.
Heâs not a bad boss, not by a long shot. Heâs kind, determined, patient when it matters, with a wry sense of humour. Heâs also fiercely protective over his team, and that includes you now.Â
But heâs also older, by at least fifteen years, and heâs not always the most diligent with paperwork. Typical man of action, youâve seen it a hundred times before. Thereâs always something more important to do, and while heâs always so cognisant of your workload and careful not to add to it, he is also all too happy to let you take the reins when it comes to bureaucracy. You like to think that youâve proved yourself to him, but maybe he just respects competency.
That should be it.
But youâre so ashamed to admit that even when Price stops treating you like youâre a hostile target, you canât stop hoping for his attention. Your mental chants of I donât need male approval for anything, I donât need male approval for anything become a daily thing, and sometimes a several-times-a-day thing.
Because the thing is, Price can be a difficult man to please. Heâs always so busy that he doesnât have time to give you the approval that youâre straining for, but when he does it gives you the most shameful warm glow in your belly.Â
A brief nod or a low grunted âThanks, sweetheartâ is enough to fuel you for days now. Even better is when youâre walking along beside him, briefing him on the latest update from the higher-ups, and he leans his head in towards you as he listens intensely, sometimes even laying his large palm against the small of your back. Ostensibly, itâs to lead the way and guide you out of the path of the running cadets, but it just toes the line of professionalism and you flounder under the touch.
Itâs stupid. Youâre stupid. Heâs just a coworker, and you need to keep your issues to yourself.
âââ  ïœĄïŸâ: .✠. :âïŸ
Youâre perfectly self-aware enough to admit when youâre in a bad mood.
You start the day tired, and when you check your reflection in the mirror first thing that morning youâre greeted with the sight of a big, fuck-off pimple on your chin. Itâs big, itâs throbbing, it practically has its own fucking heartbeat. You barely restrain the urge to pick at it, though you can feel it even when youâre not looking at it.
Your mood doesnât improve when you get to the small kitchenette by your office and find that someone has used the last of the fancy French Vanilla flavoured coffee that youâve stocked for yourself. As if thatâs not bad enough, your little stash of chocolate digestives you keep for yourself for emergency bad days have disappeared too.
You clench your jaw and continue about your business. Whatever. You can survive without your coffee and chocolate.
Your resolve falters when you see the pile of paperwork on your desk, but whatever. Itâs all part of the job. A little chocolate biscuit to nibble on would definitely make your job easier, but youâre a big girl and youâre just going to have to go without.
Then you get the phone call. One that makes you want to bang your head against your desk hard enough to knock yourself unconscious so that you donât have to deal with this.
Itâs time to update the TF141 personnel files. Orders from above, since thereâs been significant changes to medical and surgical history in the last couple of months from injuries on missions.
 Normally, thatâs not such a big deal. It just involves updating their medical and technical files, making sure that nothing major has changed with regards their addresses or other personal information, even though a big portion of it ends up redacted anyway.Â
And, naturally, updating their photographs for their files.
You start easy.Â
Gaz is happy to come to your office when you text him, and he stands obediently for you as you take his picture. Heâs gotten a metal plate fitted in his kneecap from the last time his file has been updated, and he sits and chats easily with you as you go through his information. Heâs a sweet guy, and so easy to talk to, and you sigh with the knowledge that no one is going to make your job as simple and leisurely as Gaz just has.
After he leaves, you target Soap. He comes to your office as easily as Gaz, but heâs significantly more difficult to photograph.
He just keeps smiling, no matter how many times you tell him to quit it.Â
âItâs a personnel file photograph, not a photo for your Instagram.â You sigh, irritated. âI need you to have a blank, neutral expression. Itâs like a passport photo, Sergeant. Itâs for a government document.â
âCanât help it, lass.â Soap says easily, that stupid grin not even dimming. âI see a camera, I smile. Itâs muscle memory.â
You think that your irritation is only encouraging him, which only worsens your mood. In the end, you donât get a single usable photograph of him for his file. You have to give up on him, swearing that youâll come get him to try again later. He leaves your office still chuckling, like he thinks your frustration is cute.
You have tougher targets to tackle.
The difficult part isnât even taking Ghostâs photo â the difficult part is catching him in the first place.
You spend almost three hours trying to track him down (because he wonât read your texts and your phone calls go unanswered), wobbling all over base in your stupid high heels and somehow missing him by mere moments every time. You arrive in the gym, the mess, the firing range, even the barracks, only to see the manâs enormous broad back disappearing out of the other door as soon as you get there.
You can only assume that Soap had given Ghost the heads up that you were on the prowl with a mission and a camera, because the lieutenant is avoiding you like the goddamn plague.
So yeah. Youâre in a real bad fucking mood. But you canât help it â some days your job is entirely thankless, and your mood drops so low that you feel like going home and crying. But you canât, and you donât want to show weakness in front of these military idiots, so all you can do is lock your jaw and go about your business the best you can.
You go back to your office, jaw and fists clenched tight, and collapse at your desk with your head in your hands. You have to take a few deep, slow breaths to try and calm yourself, but then you make the mistake of checking your reflection and your mood sinks lower again when you see that the stupid pimple on your chin has worsened.
God, this is just not your day. You have to get these stupid files updated, or itâll fall on your head.Â
Eventually, you reluctantly stand up. Thereâs no point moping; you have a job to do, whether you like it or not, and your next victim is Captain Price.
You walk to Priceâs office swiftly, your feet aching in your stupid heels. You wish you had worn something more sensible, but⊠well. Even subconsciously, you want to impress.
When you reach his office, you throw the door open and march inside without even bothering to knock.Â
Price is sitting behind his desk, and his head snaps up as soon as you walk in. His expression is set in a hard scowl, though it softens when he sees who it is. You guess you donât exactly pose much of a threat, so he sees no use in posturing.
âI need you for a moment.â You bite out, allowing the door to slam shut behind you.
You hear Price sigh, before he leans back and settles into his chair, making himself comfortable. Heâs wearing the same dark compression shirt that he usually wears for training exercises or to the gym, and heâs recently groomed his beard down too. He looks good, though it takes a colossal amount of effort for you to not notice, because you have other things you need to focus on right now.
âHello to you too, love.â He grunts, wiping a hand over his eyes. âWhatâs the problem?â
You struggle not to react to that, his low voice both soothing and igniting something in your blood. You take a breath, try to calm down. Youâre a professional, and youâre not here to embarrass yourself in front of the captain.
âIâm updating personnel files,â You say, and this time it comes out calm and steady, âI need to take a picture of you.â
Priceâs gaze lingers on you, his stern brow softening a little. For a moment, you think that maybe this is actually going to be easy. That heâll just stand up and take the fucking picture, so that the two of you can go back to your jobs and relax for the rest of the day.
But thenâ
âJesus, kid.â He sighs, already shaking his head. âIâm up to my eyes right now. Leave it âtill tomorrow.â
For a moment, you donât react at all. You just stare at him, letting those dismissive words settle over you. Heâs already looking back at his paperwork, mission briefings and maps littering the desk, and you feel so effectively dismissed. You feel small, so silly and stupid standing in front of him in a way that you havenât felt since you first started working with the task force. You had thought that you were past this, that you had earned some meagre sort of respect from him.
âI need it done today.â You say, and your voice comes out a little hollow to your own ears.
You donât need male validation. You donât. But damn, youâve had a rough day and the fact that your captain isnât even bothering to look at you makes you want to cry.
Price sighs, and rubs at the crease between his eyes. He looks just as tired as you feel.
âYeah, well. I donât have time. Tomorrow.â
You swallow, pursing your lips. Heâs so effortlessly dominant, which means that his careless dismissal stings all the more.
âI have to get the whole team done,â You say, struggling to keep your voice firm. âSoap wouldnât stop smiling for the camera, I couldnât find Farah anywhere, and Ghostââ
Price gives a sharp, derisive snort. âForget Ghost.â
You scowl. âI need to do the whole squad.â
âNot Ghost.â Price repeats, this time slower and with more emphasis. âSimon doesnât do photos.â
You take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Youâve been working alongside the task force for a while now, and youâre familiar with Lieutenant Rileyâs penchant for covering his face. Itâs not something you have a problem with â usually.
âThereâs no reason for him to be the exception to personnel photos, Captain.â You say through gritted teeth. âEveryone else is being photographed. The task force might be covert, but Lieutenant Riley is no moreââ
âChrist, enough.â Price snaps, his voice a deep boom that has your mouth closing with a click. âThe One Four One is my squad, in case youâve forgotten. I know these lads, and Iâm telling you to leave it out.â
You stare, a little taken aback by the harshness in his voice. He hasnât been this sharp with you in months, not since you had started to prove yourself competent, useful. Now, you can see the warning signs of his bad mood; the circles under his eyes are pronounced, his skin dull in the ugly fluorescent lights of his office. He looks exhausted, his skin lined and dry like he hasnât been drinking enough water.
You realise, a little too late, that you might have been pushing your luck by insisting on something as silly as personnel file photos. TF 141 had only returned from deployment at the beginning of the week, and Price has no doubt been drowning in reports since.
âThis is why I told Laswell you werenât necessary,â His snarl is entirely unlike him, and he rubs his face furiously, his palms rasping through his beard. âI donât need someone coming in here and making demands of my squad forâ for fucking photographs.â
You inhale shakily through your nose; to your utter horror, you can feel your eyes burn with hot wet tears. Itâs stupid â youâve dealt with far crueller words from far harsher men. The nature of your job often puts you in the firing line for frustration, and when it bubbles over itâs frequently directed at you.Â
But this⊠this feels different, for some reason. Youâve been working your ass off to try and earn some recognition from Price, to show him that youâre a valuable asset to the team, and so his sharp, frustrated dismissal of you cuts deeper than it should.
You hate that your eyes are burning like this. You donât want Price to think of you as useless, or as the silly little girl who was put on the team by the brass who canât even do her job right. He was just starting to think of you as competent, and it hurts your ego to have to go to him for help with something that you should be more than capable of handling yourself in the first place.
âRight,â You say, and even youâre startled by the sharpness in your tone. âFine. Forget the file updates, then.â
You step forward, jaw clenched hard, and toss the files youâve been carrying around all day onto his desk. They hit the surface with a smack that feels uncomfortably loud in the tense silence thatâs fallen over the room.
âIâll tell the higher-ups that youâre handling it.â You continue, your voice coming out brattier than youâd like. âSince obviously I have no idea what Iâm doingââ
âOh, donât do that.â Price sighs, as though youâre the one being unreasonable. âWhat Iâm saying is, if youâre going to work with the team, you have to understand the teamââ
That, you think, might just push you over the edge.
âDo you think Iâm stupid?â You snap out, and Priceâs mouth closes. âDâyou think Iâmâ that Iâm some kind of idiot?â
Price blinks. It seems like youâve managed to take him by surprise, as though your bad mood rivals his just enough to pull him out of his own grumpy form entirely. He opens his mouth again, but youâre not ready to hear him speak again just yet.
âIâm here because Laswell put in a request for me to work with you and your squad, Captain. Iâm considered an asset to the teams that I work with,â Youâre scowling thunderously, all the tension and frustration thatâs been mounting all day spilling over. âAnd I donât have to put up with being dismissed and unappreciated when I know that I would be respected in other squads for the work that I do.â
Price raises his hands, a frown creasing his brow. âKid, thatâs notââ
Usually, being called âkidâ by Price has a warm glow settling in your stomach that youâre absolutely not interested in examining, but this time it only lights an infuriated fire in your belly.Â
âDonât!â You snap, your breath juddering unsteadily. âGod, you think I enjoy being treated like an idiot? You think I havenât had to deal with this from men my whole career? My whole life? Even my fatherââ
To your abject horror, a lump forms in your throat and you canât finish that sentence. Your eyes are hot with unshed tears, and youâre pretty sure your lip is trembling.Â
Price stands, his stern expression slackening into something like uncomfortable surprise as he moves to step around the desk.
âHey,â He soothes, lifting his hands. âIâm not your father.â
âI know that!â You snap, irate. Youâre frustrated with yourself, embarrassed at what youâve unintentionally given away. âI wouldnât want you to be!â
Priceâs expression flickers, as though he canât decide quite how to react to you. Youâre more than aware that youâre being childish, but you find yourself unable to temper your overreactions. In the face of your tears and your frustrated anger, Price looks like heâs at a loss.
âAll Iâve done is work hard, and tried to take the burden off you to make your job a little easier.â You continue before he can interrupt again. âAnd all I get in return is stress, and my chocolate biscuits eaten, and breakouts, andâ andââ
âKidââ
âThe only person who wasnât an absolute dickhead to me today was Garrick,â You rage, on a roll now. âEveryone else has just been soâ and look how bad my skin has gotten from the stress of having to deal with men who want to act like childrenââ
Price watches you with an expression that is plainly bewildered as you gesture at the stupid pimple thatâs been throbbing on your chin all day. You donât even think youâre making sense, too lost in your frustration and humiliation to be properly aware of what youâre saying.Â
âYour⊠skin.â He repeats, a little disbelieving.Â
You whirl away, agitated. Youâre not getting your point across well, and Price must think youâre simply demented.Â
âHey,â He says slowly, approaching from around the side of his desk. âI didnât mean to suggest that you werenât doing a decent jobââ
âWhatever.â You mutter, running your hands over your skirt in an attempt to straighten out the creases. âWhatever.â
Itâs too little, too late. Heâs always been a bit of a hardass, and youâve always tried so hard to please him, to impress him. But you canât bear to make a fool of yourself like this any longer.
âIâll leave the paperwork to you. Update it, or donât. It doesnât matter.â You say shortly, turning on your heel and marching towards the door.
âWait,â Price calls out. His voice is firm, echoing with the grim certainty of a man who is used to being obeyed.
But youâre not one of his soldiers, and his command falls on deaf ears. Your skin is still prickling with humiliation; you donât think youâve ever been so desperate to get away from the Captain before.
âSweetheart, just wait a minute,â Price says, and this time you can hear the exasperation in his voice. âI understand that youâre stressed, thatâs normal. Everyone gets stressed in this line of work. But you canât just go and get your knickers in a twist because some of the lads are beinâ difficultââ
âMy knickers are none of your business!â You yell. Truthfully, itâs more of a shriek, high-pitched and unsteady enough to have Priceâs eyes widening and darting towards the door as though worried about someone overhearing from the corridor.
âWhoa, okay,â Price says with the air of trying to soothe a spooked horse. âYou're right. Your... knickers... ain't my concern. But helping keep this squad running smoothly is, and that can't happen if my admin is on edge."
âOh, give me a break!â Youâre beyond on-edge now, sailing right into fury. âYou ignore me most of the time when you're not on deployment, you dismiss me when Iâm just trying to do my job, but now youâre telling me you need me to not be on edge?â
Youâve reached the door now, your hand clenched tight around the doorhandle as you take one last moment to turn and look at him. Heâs stepping towards you, no doubt with the intent to stop you before you can leave, but you donât plan on giving him the chance.
âKid, just hang on a damn minuteââ
âSort the files yourself, or do whatever you want.â You bite out, yanking the door open but pausing in the doorway. âI donât even care anymore. Itâs your squad, you do it.â
Price takes a breath, visibly fighting for patience. Truthfully, you donât know how he hasnât lost his head with you already. He was already exhausted and in an obviously bad mood when you had stormed in here, and it couldnât be more obvious that youâve just made it worse with all of your frenzied anger and borderline hysteria.Â
The fact that Price is staying calm and level even in the face of your stress-induced meltdown only makes you feel all the more ridiculous. You wish he would get angry, that he would snap at you like he had when you had first walked in â at least that way you could pretend that you donât notice the way his stressed scowl had melted into a look of concern as soon as he had seen the tears welling up in your stinging eyes.
âAnd you donât have to wear that stupid hat, weâre indoors!â You yell, your voice teetering on the edge of hysteria.
You just have enough time to see his hand reach up to touch the brim of his boonie hat before you hurriedly bolt out of the room, escaping into the corridor before he can stop you.
âââ  ïœĄïŸâ: .✠. :âïŸ
ââ just thinking that maybe Iâd be better suited with another team, thatâs all. I heard Kortacâs liaison is approaching maternity leaveââ
âThat position is going to be filled internally,â Laswellâs voice is calm over the secure phoneline, a stark contrast to the shaky undertone of stress in your own. âBesides, organising a transfer like that is more trouble than itâs worth.â Thereâs a pause, then a sigh crackles over the phone. âYou still havenât explained what happened. As far as I can see, you were doing good work there.â
Yeah, you think sourly, because all you see is the paperwork end of it.
â... Internal conflict.â You mutter, playing with the fraying edge of your sweater sleeve.Â
Thereâs a long pause, protracted enough that it makes you squirm. You know what sheâs thinking â in your line of work, itâs impossible to avoid clashing with some of the big dominant personalities who are used to getting away with whatever they want. But youâve always been able to handle it, well-versed enough in diplomacy to know when to stand your ground and when to bow out to avoid unnecessary strife.Â
âInternal conflict.â Laswell repeats, her voice as bland as youâve ever heard it. âMeaning?â
God, it feels like youâre disappointing your mom or something. You scrub a hand over your face, pacing in the living room of your small apartment.
âI know how it sounds,â You say, âButâ they donât want to work with me. Thereâs only so much I can do if Iâm being met with resistance at every cornerââ
âYouâve worked with resistant squads before,â Laswell interrupts. âItâs part of the job.â
âYes, butâŠâ You start, before trailing off.Â
She has a point, of course. It is part of the job. Thereâs no way to professionally explain to your superior that the reason this assignment is so difficult is because you have a mortifying crush on the Captain of the Task Force. Itâs making you stupid, making all the stupid bullshit that youâre usually able to look past feel so much worse, especially because all youâve ever wanted was Priceâs approval.
Another sigh. This one, at least, sounds a little more sympathetic.
âLook,â Laswell says, and this time her voice is a little gentler. âIâve never given you an assignment that I didnât think you could handle. Whatever is going on, you need to sort it. Youâre a capable girl, and the One Four One is far from the most difficult team youâve had to deal with. There might be some big personalities there, but nothing that you shouldnât be able to tackle.â
âMhm.â You grunt noncommittally.
âSort out whateverâs going on with you.â Laswellâs tone leaves no room for argument, her suggestion falling just short of a command. âIf whatever issues youâre experiencing continue, Iâll talk to Johnââ
âNo!â You blurt.
God, you canât think of anything worse. Youâve already made a show of yourself in front of him, the last thing you need is for him to learn that youâve gone crying to Laswell about the whole thing. You donât want him to think of you as any more of a useless little girl than he doubtlessly already does.
âNo,â You repeat, calmer this time as you clear your throat. âIâll⊠sort it. Sorry to bother you with this, maâam.â
Laswell hums, and you can imagine her eyes narrowing. Judging by the wind whistling in the background of the call, sheâs not anywhere near her cushy office. Youâve interrupted her on whatever assignment sheâs on, and sheâs been kind enough to listen to your silly little complaints for at least fifteen minutes of her valuable time. You feel more ridiculous than ever, and you pinch at the bridge of your nose.
â... Right.â She says. âFine. Keep me updated on the situation. I want a sitrep by the end of the week, understood?â
âYes, maâam.âÂ
You understand whatâs not being said. Laswell expects you to work your own shit out, but you can hear the concern in her voice when she demands an update. All you can do is agree. Laswell has been by your side throughout your whole career, always having a hand in your assignments and your progression, and sheâs always been an advocate for you and what youâre capable of. Now, after this conversation, you feel silly for getting so overwhelmed in the face of what is a relatively minor obstacle.
âGood. Iâll speak to you then.â
You hum, wish her goodbye and good luck, and hang up the phone.
For a long moment afterwards, you sit in silence in your living room. God, how did all of this spiral into such a mess?
For the last few days, youâve been avoiding the base entirely. You have a few PTO days built up, and youâve taken the opportunity to just chill out. Itâs the first chance youâve had to relax properly in months, since you had started working with the task force. The space is good, and itâs needed.
You get out of the headspace of work, and reports, and files and requisitions and debriefs, and instead treat yourself with full body self-care. You exfoliate, you moisturise, you use a hair mask, you take bubble baths. You even catch up on the trashy Netflix romance series that you had put on hold for ages, just waiting for some free time to indulge.
And you almost, almost, forget about why youâre hiding away in your little flat in the first place.
But your third day off creeps around, and you canât help but feel as though your little bubble of isolation is about to pop. Thereâs only so much time away from the office that youâre able to swing, and the longer away the more you feel that your position on the team is untenable. No matter how you currently feel about the task force and your place with them, youâre not willing to let your hard work go down the drain just because youâre too cowardly to face them again after your little meltdown.
So, you go back to work after your little break away.
You manage to slink into your office mostly unseen, other than polite helloâs from other admin staff as you slip through the halls. Your office is far from prime real estate when it comes to office space on base â itâs well out of the way, down several corridors that no one ever goes down, and once you get past the main thoroughfares you donât come across anyone. Even still, it feels a little like youâre doing a walk of shame, but you walk with your head held high before you finally get your office door closed behind you.Â
To your surprise, your desk is clear. Typically, any slight break away from your desk results in work piling up on it, just waiting for your attention once you get back. You donât know what to make of the absence of work; you canât help but wonder, somewhat uncomfortably, if Price had taken your words to heart and dealt with all of the paperwork himself.
You check the drawers of your desk too, just in case, and come up empty yet again.Â
Well. Okay, then.Â
You sign into your desktop, waiting for the encryption program to load before accessing your emails. Thereâs a lot to catch up on, so you spend the next hour or so organising your to-do list in order of urgency.
You get lost in making your little lists, allowing yourself to relax into finding order in your schedule. You barely even look up until thereâs a soft knock on your office door, and by the time youâve raised your head the door has opened and Farah has slipped inside.
âOh,â You straighten up in surprise. âCommander. What can I do for you?â
Itâs a surprise to see her, especially since you hadnât received any email correspondence. Your office is tucked away down a remote corridor, and soldierâs usually prefer to just email you their requests rather than make the trek down.
Farah offers a polite smile, approaching your desk. âI hear you are taking photographs.â
Your smile slips a little. âOh. No, actually, I wasnâtââ
âCaptain Price said I was to be photographed,â She says, pulling the chair out opposite you and watching you expectantly. âI tried to find you yesterday, and the day before, but I believe you weren't on base.â
You shift, feeling abruptly rather awkward. âRight. I wasâ Price said that to you?â
âMhm.â Farah leans back in the chair, her dark eyes alert as they track over your face. âHe said that you have been stressed.â
You feel your face heat, mortified. Oh, god. How embarrassing. Has Price given the team a goddamn debrief on your little meltdown? Farah tilts her head as though she knows what youâre thinking, and a tiny smile quirks at the corner of her lips.
âThatâs all he said,â She says. âThat, and that we should try to make your job a little easier.â
âOh.â You shift, embarrassed and awkward. âIâ Listen, I had a⊠rough day at work a few days ago, thatâs all. Iâm notâ things are fine.â
Farah just nods as though thatâs perfectly convincing, and you find yourself wildly appreciative of her for a moment.
âSo, then,â She says, and raises her eyebrows. âThe picture?â
You canât find a way to explain that you had thrown that particular responsibility right back at Price in a fit of pique, but it turns out you donât have to. Farah produces a slim folder that you hadnât noticed her holding, and you realise with another flush of embarrassment that itâs her personnel file.
âThere wasnât much to update, just a recent blood work test.â She says as she lays it on your desk.Â
âThatâs⊠thanks.â You say weakly, taking the file in hand. You flick through it briefly, feeling something in your stomach squirm at the sight of Farahâs details all filled in â Priceâs handwriting is unmistakable, the small neat blocky letters standing out amongst the messy scrawl of Farahâs medical report.
You dig out your camera, still a little flustered, and direct Farah to stand against your plain white-painted wall. Sheâs an easy subject to photograph; she stands perfectly still, unsmiling, and you get the perfect picture after only a couple of attempts.
âLovely,â You murmur, flicking through the pictures. âThank you.â
Farah hums. Youâre expecting her to dismiss herself, and it takes a moment for you to realise that sheâs still lingering. You glance up, blinking, only to find that sheâs standing with her lips pursed, obviously considering something.
âThe Captain is worried about you.â She says, as though itâs the most natural thing in the world. âIs everything alright?â
You gape at her like a moron, camera still hanging loosely from your hands. You feel uncomfortably seen; thereâs no way that Farah could know what happened, but sheâs looking at you with an awful lot of sympathy right now.
âWhat?â You squeak.
âYou fought?â Farah speaks slowly, obviously conscious of overstepping her boundaries. âI donât mean to pry, itâs justâŠâ
âNo, thatâs okay.â You say hastily. âWe didnâtâ there was no fighting, exactly.â
She just nods, as if youâre making perfect sense, then smiles politely. She gathers herself up and steps towards the door, and you feel your head spinning as she turns to go.Â
âYou look tired,â Farah murmurs, low enough that you almost miss it. âWhen Price wants to fix things, let him.â
âMhm.â You nod quickly without really hearing her. Youâre pretty sure youâd agree to anything right now just to escape the knowing intensity of Farahâs gaze. âYeah, of course.â
After Farah leaves, you feel like you need another day off. Itâs all you can do to just sit in your comfortably padded office chair and groan like a moron, because Jesus Christ youâve made such a mess of things.Â
It was bad enough when you were pining like an idiot from afar; youâve had crushes before, and you know that you would have outgrown it eventually. But then you had your stupid little meltdown in front of Price, and revealed more than you intended, and all of a sudden youâve made yourself into a fool in front of the squad youâve tried so hard to impress these last few months.
You have to try hard not to spiral. In fact, itâs a challenge not to cave and grab your phone to call Laswell all over again to demand a reassignment right this second. You have a pretty good idea of what sheâd say to you in response, but still, the impulse remains.
All you can do is put it from your mind. You potter about, printing Farahâs photograph so you can tuck it neatly into her file with a paperclip, and then decide to start replying to the many emails that have built up in your absence.
The emails vary in tone, from polite enquiries to not-so-polite demands for you to solve some administrative issues, and you sigh quietly as you respond to some of the more snotty messages from upper management. And if youâre a little bit passive aggressive, then you donât think anyone can blame you.
Your mind has finally quietened, focusing on your work as the buzz of your thoughts settle down, when another knock sounds out from your door. This one is firmer than Farahâs soft knock from earlier, and a little louder, though this time you donât look up from your screen.
âCome in.â You call, chewing at your lip as you struggle to keep the wording of your email civil.
Youâre half-expecting it to be Soap this time around, or maybe one of the recruits hoping to get you to sign off on their leave. So when you finally glance up only to catch sight of the broad, thick-shouldered figure of Captain Price stepping into your office, you think you might go into cardiac arrest.
Email abandoned, you half jolt to your feet before changing your mind mid-movement and attempting to sit back down. It ends up being a humiliating sort of jerky motion, and you pray that he somehow missed it entirely.
âCaptain.â You wheeze, your voice coming out a little weak.
Priceâs cool blue eyes dart over your face and then down the length of your body, and you become suddenly, mortifyingly aware of the state youâre in. You might not want to admit it, but your wardrobe definitely changes when the Captain isnât on deployment. Instead of professional trousers, you wear your tight knee-length pencil skirts and fitted shirts, and totter around in your heels. And itâs silly, but⊠well, you canât help but notice the way Priceâs eyes follow you when you dress like that, and you like his attention on you.
Except today, you hadnât been planning on running into Price. You hadnât planned on seeing anyone, so you had dressed for comfort â youâre wearing a pair of frumpy grey wool trousers and a super over-sized soft purple sweater that practically swallows you whole. You havenât even done your hair nicely, and you curse yourself. This has to be the least sexy youâve looked in months.
âDâyouâve a moment, love?âÂ
His voice seems loud in the quiet of your office, even though realistically you know heâs only speaking in a murmur. In the quiet days youâve spent alone in your apartment, youâd almost forgotten how lovely and low and gruff his voice is, and you feel your toes curl in your shoes at the sound of it.
Itâs not as though you can refuse him, though youâre already embarrassingly aware of the way in which you had stormed off the last time you had seen him.
âYeah.â You swallow thickly in an attempt to strengthen your voice, but it still comes out high and thready. âSure.â
As if he had just been waiting for permission, Price steps into the room properly and closes the door behind him. All of a sudden, the room feels a little claustrophobic. Price is a big man, broad-shouldered and thickly built with a soft layer of fat cushioning those hard muscles, and you canât help but feel as though his presence is sucking all of the air out of the room.
But still, he approaches slowly, like youâre some kind of feral cat. Those sharp eyes of his are still tracking over you; he never misses a beat, and you know that heâs taking stock of you in the same way he would for an enemy out on the field. You feel raw, uncomfortably vulnerable. You find yourself wishing wildly and ridiculously that you had worn your usual fitted shirt and pencil skirt, or at least put on a bit of makeup.
âYou look rested.â He notes, coming to a slow stop just in front of your desk.
You suddenly curse your last minute choice to stay seated, because now Priceâs big body is towering over you in a way thatâs honestly making your head swim a little.
âYeah.â Your voice is a little hoarse. âI guess.â
Price nods, inhales through his nose. A moment passes before he clears his throat and reaches out to place a handful of files on your desk. Despite the plain manila envelopes, you recognise them for what they are almost immediately; the personnel files for 141.
âFinished âem off for you while you were gone.â He says gruffly, as though it were no big deal. âNearly had to nail Soap down to a chair for that damn photo.â
You stare at the files for a long moment, making no move to open them. You find yourself totally, utterly lost for words.Â
âThis isââ You start to say, and truthfully youâre not sure where youâre going with that. You think youâre about to thank him, but he doesnât really give you the chance to.
âWhy donât we talk?â He says, and motions to the dinky little couch in the corner of the room as if he owns it.
You hesitate a moment, a little peeved about the effortless way he takes command in your own office, but relent and push yourself up from the desk. You donât make eye contact with Price as you step around him, walking to the corner, but you can feel his eyes on you all the same.
 The couch had come with the office, and you donât even really want to think about how old it is, but you sink down awkwardly onto it anyway. The cushions are worn and threadbare and the springs creak gratingly when you settle your weight onto it, but itâs fine. It does the job.
Youâre half-expecting Price to drag the spare chair at your desk over so he can sit opposite you â youâre not expecting him to step right up next to you before he drops down next to you, sighing as his thick thighs spread wide.
You barely bite back a squeak, a little bewildered. Youâre not surprised that heâs asked to talk to you. Your behaviour had been wildly inappropriate, and you couldnât exactly protest if heâs decided to caution you or something.
But you had expected it to be a more formal affair; sitting together on the pathetic, dingy little couch in your office feels entirely too casual for the dressing down youâre sure youâre about to receive.
âThink weâre due a discussion about the other day.â He says, gentler than you had been expecting.
You avoid his eyes, though you can feel his stare boring into the side of your face. Ugh. Time to eat humble pie, you think miserably.Â
âIâm sorry, sir.â You keep your voice as dispassionate and prim as possible. âMy behaviour was unprofessional and entirely unacceptable, and I have no excuse. It wonât happen again, I assure you.â
Itâs as professional an apology as you can manage, and you chance a quick side glance at him to see his reaction. Your stomach sinks when you see that his brow is creased in a frown, and you panic a little at the realisation that your apology hasnât helped matters at all.
âWell,â His voice is gruff enough to elicit a little shiver from you. âI wasnâtââ He clears his throat. âI wasnât looking for an apology.â
That finally makes you turn properly, your eyes darting nervously over his face. Heâs already watching you, his blue eyes searing under the brim of his stupid hat. Heâs trimmed his beard since the last time you saw him; the salt and pepper bristles of his moustache and chops are neat and shortened. He looks good, though you try not to notice. He doesnât look as dehydrated or drained as he did a few days ago either, though he still leans into the couch with an air of quiet exhaustion.
âPaperwork has never been my favourite thing in the world,â He confesses with an air of chagrin thatâs painfully endearing to you. âAlways found it a pain, to be honest. Puts me right out of sorts. I was⊠short with you, the other day.â
You frown, making yourself small on the couch. âYou said I wasnât necessary.â
Price winces, then reaches up and pulls his boonie hat off his head so that he can drag a hand over his short-cropped hair. Though you had insulted it only the other day, it strikes you as odd to see him with a bare head.
âShouldnât have said that.â He mumbles, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his hat hang from his hands. âYouâve been great these last few months. Donât know what Iâd have done without you, sometimes.â
Youâre stupid. Itâs the only reason you can think of to explain the way blood rushes to your head and turns your face hot, your whole body going hot and prickly in response to his low praise. You fidget, glance away, and pray he doesnât notice.Â
âYou know Iâm no good at deskwork,â He says, and leans in a little closer like he thinks youâre not listening properly. âDonât have the head for it. I think youâre the reason the team runs so smoothly in the first place, love.â
The flattery is being laid on a little too thick, but it works. You fall for it entirely, a warm glow settling over you like a blanket, wrapping around you tight and soothing the jagged edges of your anger and anxiety. You hate that youâre so easy to appease, a couple of sweet compliments and assurances falling from your Captainâs lips assuaging all that upset that youâve been carrying around with you for days now.
But still, part of you isnât quite willing to let go of the sting, the hurt that his words and his harsh tone had caused.Â
âIs this you apologising, then?â You ask, watching him from the corner of your eye.
He smiles, close-mouthed. âYeah. It is. Not doinâ too good, am I?â
âYouâre doing okay.â You murmur, before deciding to try to be a bit cheeky. âBut you can keep going, if youâd like.â
Price laughs, rich and warm and low. You donât think youâve ever actually heard him laugh in all the months youâve been working with the task force, and the sound of it rumbles right into your bones, settling something inside of you and finally allowing you to relax. No longer tense with stress, you melt a little into the corner of the couch.
âShouldnât have snapped at you,â He says slowly. âYou do good work. Great work. You shouldnât feel like youâre not a valued member of the team.â
You swallow thickly. You feel too warm, your head swimming a little. His attention feels too heavy, heating your blood and going straight to your head.
âI overreacted,â You mumble reluctantly. âI shouldnât⊠your hat isnât stupid.â
That gets another bark of laughter out of Price, and he slaps a hand down onto your knee. The contact makes you jolt, eyes widening, but Priceâs hand doesnât shift. His palm is so large, spread across your thigh as his fingers curl over your knee. The touch feels almost scorching even through the thick fabric of your trousers.
All of a sudden, your tongue feels very thick in your mouth. The hand on your knee is not in any way suggestive; itâs chaste, innocent, just resting there like a reminder that he wants your attention on him (as if it could be anywhere else). But your nerves are jangling all of a sudden, every one of your senses straining towards him as you hold your breath.
âThe hat isnât the problem,â Price mutters, though you barely hear him. âI wanted to ask you about something else you said, love. Something you said about your father.â
That has some of the heat in your veins cooling, your eyes blowing wide. âIâ what?â
To your bewilderment, Priceâs cheeks have reddened beneath the whiskers of his beard and moustache. Despite his clear chagrin, he doesnât break eye contact with you, his thick fingers squeezing cautiously around your knee.Â
âDonât mean to overstep,â He assures you quietly. âAndâ and donât mind me if Iâm talkinâ nonsense. But I know that youâve been working so hard, and youâve got a tough job. Canât be easy. And I just wanted to say that if you'd like some⊠guidance â someone to steer you on the right path, that isâ well, that Iâm here if you ever want to talk."
Oh god. You feel your mouth go dry.Â
Itâs funny, because even though Price isnât even yet forty, heâs always seemed so much older. Maybe itâs the weight of the responsibility that he carries on his shoulders, or the battle-hardened icy blue eyes, or the paternal sense of protectiveness that he shows over his team. Heâs always been like an almost father figure for the squad, regardless of age; youâve seen the way heâs so protective over Ghost, the way he claps Soap on the back or shoulders in praise to boost him up, the way he beams with pride when Farah excels, the way he always makes time to guide or give advice to Gaz.
Itâs sweet. Heâs always been sweet, so aware of the personalities on his team, even when heâs acting like that typical military authority figure.Â
"Sounds like you want to be my daddy." You mean to say it in a derogatory fashion, laughing as though it's ridiculous, though when it comes out you can hear that itâs missing some of the sarcasm you had intended.
Price reacts instantly. He reels back, eyes widening, the pink in his cheeks flares into a deep red flush, and you see his chest heave as his breath catches. You hadnât been expecting a reaction like this; Price looks as though the words have hit him like a physical slap.
âJesus. Thatâs notââ He says, and the gravelly hoarseness in his voice is a shock. âThatâs not what I meant.â
Thereâs a moment of charged silence. Fuck, what have you done? Why would you say that? Why would you say that, to the captain of your task force? Hadnât you embarrassed yourself enough in front of him the day you had had your silly little meltdown? Itâs like you just canât keep your damn mouth shut around him, like your brain turns to mush the second he looks at you and you just lose the run of yourself.
âIâm sorry.â You blurt. âI shouldnât have said that. I donât know whatâ I didnât mean it.â
The next silence is even worse than the last, tension humming between you like a live wire. Heâs so close to you that his scent fills your nose â a blend of sweet cigar smoke, sharp gunpowder, and a heady masculine musk. You feel so fucking stupid, and more than a little panicked. You donât think you could survive the humiliation of having to call Laswell and beg for a reassignment twice in one day just because youâve completely humiliated yourself in front of the Captain again.
Price swallows, the sound painfully loud in the silence.
âRight.â He says slowly, before coughing roughly to clear his throat. âMm. âCourse. I didnât mean toâ perhaps I overstepped. Since you mentioned your fatherââ
âI donât want to talk about my father.â You say swiftly.
God, you feel like your issues are out on display with a big damn spotlight. You feel so pathetic, so damn pitiful, as though your desperate need for approval and affection from an older male authority figure is written across your forehead.
But if your issues are on display, then so are Priceâs, because you canât help but notice that the vibrant red flush on his cheeks hasnât faded. If anything, that deep flush has spread down his throat and over his chest; you can see how the skin thatâs stretched over his pectoral muscles is glowing crimson beneath his shirt.
A niggling boldness begins to creep in, and you find yourself straightening on the couch. You turn, bring one of your legs up on the couch so that you can turn your whole body towards him, one of your elbows resting on the back cushion of the couch.Â
Priceâs eyes sharpen when your body turns towards him, and his body draws tense. Those cool blue eyes dart over you, and youâre surprised to see heat in them despite your oversized purple jumper and unflattering wool trousers. The whisper of his fatigues brushing against the fabric of your own trousers is both a distraction and an invitation, your thighs sliding surreptitiously against each other.
âWhat if I did mean it?â You blurt out before your courage can flee you.
Price goes so still it looks preternatural, even the breaths in his chest slowing.Â
âKid.â He says, and it sounds like a warning.
You donât heed it, adjusting yourself so that youâre shuffling closer yet again. You donât think youâve ever been so close to him, his scent and his body and his heated gaze filling up your consciousness until heâs all that youâre aware of.
âWhat if I meant it?â You ask again, the whisper coming out low but charged.Â
Price takes a breath that sounds like a groan, and it surprises you. You hadnât expected that reaction; it sends a trickle of heated desire running down your spine, and youâre startled by how much you want him in this moment.
âDâyou know what youâre asking for?â He asks, the gravel in his voice flooding wet heat between your legs.Â
His carefully laced words linger in the space between you, daring you to accept, to shred the formal boundary that looms between the two of you. You get the sense that youâre walking a fine line here, that youâre getting close to the point of no return.Â
âYes.â You breathe, although youâre not entirely sure that you do know what youâre asking for. All you know is that heâs so close, and heâs staring at you with an expression of such hunger that itâs making you feel weak.
Price moves fast for such a big man, and all you can do is let out a soft sound of surprise when one of his big hands wraps around the back of your neck to pull you in. A deep, guttural sound escapes him when his lips crash into yours, his mouth demanding and greedy.
It feels like you go both lax and rigid simultaneously, before you positively light up. The hand that Price has wrapped around the back of your neck keeps you grounded, and before you can stop yourself youâre burrowing closer. It feels like the tension, your childish argument, the sexual friction â everything has culminated to this electrifying moment, where Priceâs full lips are consuming yours, the hair of his beard rubbing over your cheeks and chin and keeping your nerves straining towards him.
The kiss doesnât start out slow; it skips straight to hungry, fast and dirty, with Priceâs big hands on your hip and the back of your neck, holding and guiding you. Overwhelming.Â
Priceâs big fucking body is leaning in, caging you against the couch. The wide shoulders and barrel-chested mass of him pressing you into the cushions is just short of breath-taking, but itâs not enough. You want to be right up against him, under his skin.
You swing your leg over Priceâs, and climb up into his lap. His thighs are thick beneath you, wide and muscled, but youâre still hesitant to fully settle your weight against him. You just want to be closer, to feel the heat of him pressed against you, but the second you start moving Price grabs at your hips and pulls you down properly, uncaring of your weight.
âIâve beenââ You manage to say in between kisses, your words muffled and a little wet. âIâve been working my ass off, for the squad, for you, and you never say or do anythingââ
Price grunts, grappling with his sudden lapful of you. His eyes meet yours, and in them, you think you might see the spark of admiration, for your brave stupidity if nothing else.Â
âSh, I know,â He says as he grips at your hips under your oversized jumper, encouraging you to settle down your full weight on his thighs. âI know, love, youâve been working so hard. What would I do without you, huh?â
And the thing is, youâre a very capable woman. Youâve had to be, in order to survive in your line of work. You know that youâre capable, you know that you do good work, you know that you help keep the wheels greased and everything moving behind the scenes for the 141, but even still, Priceâs praise sinks into you like warm honey.
âWatching you walk around in those tight little skirts, Christ.â He hums, and his big palms land on your ass and squeeze there suggestively. âAnd those heelsâ completely impractical for a military base like this.â
You wheeze a laugh, clutching at his shoulders. It feels completely surreal that youâre currently perched in your Captainâs lap, with his big shovel-like hands groping your bum as he nips at your lips and confesses that heâs been watching you. It goes straight to your head, makes you dizzy, makes you wish wildly that you had worn one of those skirts for him today.
Oh, you could get used to this. Realistically you know the size difference between you two isnât that immense, but Price is built like a man whose reality is all war, and when he shifts beneath you his muscles roll, unwittingly showing off his physique. You think you could stay here forever, feeling safe in a big manâs lap, cushioned by his body as he tells you that youâre valuable, and important.
âFuckinâ hell,â Price groans, nipping at your lower lip before capturing your mouth wholly again. âYouâre a handful.â
Youâd love to argue that â you like to think that youâre perfectly measured and sensible, after all â but youâre already squirming in his lap, your legs spread wide over his thighs. Arousal pools in your stomach, makes you slick your knickers, and you canât stop the slow grind your hips trace against his thigh.
Priceâs breath shudders out of his chest, and his hands clench tight around your hips. âHang on a sec,â He breathes, âHold on. Iâm stillâ Iâm still your Captainââ
You think that itâs meant to be a warning, or at least a word of caution about the precarious situation youâre in regarding professionalism and inappropriate workplace relationships. What youâre doing right now is ridiculous, after all. Youâre still on base, youâre in your office, and if the two of you get caught you donât even want to think about the consequences. The fraternisation rule shouldnât apply here, since youâre only considered part of the team by a mere technicality, but even in your lust-hazed mind you can still recognise that sitting on his lap and kissing like this at your workplace is wildly inappropriate.
But if it is a warning, it doesnât work. The reminder of his authority only inflames you further, and a quiet whimper is torn from your throat when you rock against his lap.
He swears, and beneath you his cock stirs in his fatigues. You can feel the way it fills out where itâs pressed against the seam of your trousers, right between your legs. You reflexively squish your thighs together, tightening them around his hips.
âChrist,â He grits out like a curse. âAlright, then.â
He moves quickly, his hands secure on your back as he lunges forward, flipping you over so that youâre laying on your back on the shoddy, worn-down couch. You go so easily âÂ
youâre soft now, pliable and eager to please, and he could direct you anywhere he wanted.
Heâs too large to be climbing on top of you on a couch like this, but somehow it doesnât even matter. Now that heâs above you, holding himself up with those strong arms on either side of your head, he looks down on you with an expression that you donât know what to make of. His eyes are still intense, but the lines around them are softened as he stares down, his gaze tracing your face.Â
âYou think I havenât been looking?â He asks, and his voice isnât as harsh or gritty as youâd been expecting. Itâs softer now, fond, almost. âHow could I fuckinâ miss you? Always so pretty, always workinâ so hard. âCourse I noticed.â
When his fingers creep beneath your big purple jumper, you launch into helping him remove it, eagerly stripping it off so youâre laying in your bra. Itâs one of your simple utilitarian ones, and you curse yourself for not wearing a sexier one.
But Price groans at the sight of your simple white cotton as though itâs premium lace. His palms are rough as they trace up your sides, the callouses on his fingers coarse against the soft squishy flesh of your belly. He leans forward and nuzzles at your ear, kissing behind your lobe before scraping his teeth along your jaw until heâs kissing messily at your mouth all over again.
âSo gorgeous.â He says, his voice a low rumble that has your nerves buzzing. âI was too mean to you before, wasnât I? Too harsh, when all you were trying to do was help.â
âYes.â You whisper, though you feel a little bit petulant for it.
âLet me make up for it, darling,â He whispers back, and it sounds like a plea. âHm? Iâll show you how good youâve been.â
Youâre nodding before he even finishes, desperate. God, yes. Youâre not even sure what it is that heâs offering, but you know that youâll take anything that he has to give you.
Heâs looming over you, so large, as his hands fall to the closure on your work trousers. His fingers are so thick that he fumbles with the delicate button and little zip, and it takes him a couple of tries to pull it open and down. When heâs got it, he shucks your trousers off easily and tosses them aside, then stares down at you in your ugly shapeless underwear as though youâre wearing something else entirely.
Even though youâre laying unclothed and vulnerable, squirming and wanting, Price is so slow to get moving. He doesnât grab at you, or grope greedily, or take impatiently. He acts as though heâs got all the time in the world, leisurely looking you over as though heâs committing you to memory.
âNeed you to say it,â He says, strained like heâs trying to hold himself back. âNeed you to say it out loud.â
âWant you to show me how good Iâve been.â You say immediately, your desire leaving no room for shame. âWant you to look after me.â
The request comes out a little bit plaintive, and Price sighs out before ducking his head and kissing you again. Heâs so much more affectionate than you had ever imagined, and you feel as though youâre drowning in it. His attention is like a warm blanket, settling every craving youâve ever had.
âI will,â He breathes like itâs a promise. âOh, I will.â
His palms are rough and hot as they drag over your skin, deceptively gentle as he reaches your tits and pushes your bra up so that he can knead at the soft flesh there. He doesnât even bother to unclasp it, impatient enough that shoving the cups up so to free your breasts is enough for him.Â
He bends his head down, and licks a stripe over your nipple. His tongue feels scorching against you, like youâre hypersensitive to his touch, and he groans against your skin as though heâs tasting something incredible.
You writhe, hips arching up in search of some kind of friction, but Price doesnât give it to you. Heâs too distracted, peppering dozens of kisses over your tits as though theyâre something precious even as his hands coast down your back to grope at your ass again where your plain cotton underwear is riding up.
âSo pretty, ainâtcha?â He groans against your chest. âFuck, even when you were walkinâ around with a face on you like a slapped arse, I thought you were the sweetest fuckinâ thing Iâd ever seen.â
âCharming.â You snap, but thereâs no anger in your tone anymore. In fact, you donât think thereâs a lick of anger anywhere in your whole body anymore, like Priceâs hands and mouth on you have washed it all away.
All the brattiness, and the prickliness of your bad mood, is entirely forgotten now that youâre laid out and squirming beneath him. You can hardly even remember what you had been so stressed and angry with him for.
He finally reaches around to unclasp your bra, then tosses it to the side to let it slump sadly to the floor. His next target is your underwear, pulled from you roughly enough that you think the fabric might tear even as his hands cradle the plush flesh of your ass like itâs a treasure.
âMm, so gorgeous, princess,â It seems like the name just slips out of his mouth, and you feel your whole body draw tense and hot. âSo lovely, and I bet you taste even better than you look⊠like sugar, my sweet girl.â
Jesus Christ. You think your whole fucking body throbs, blood pounding and nerves straining as you wish so desperately for him to touch you. You canât handle him talking to you like that, so fondly, as if you havenât just acted like the biggest brat in the world for several days straight.
You can hardly even reconcile this man with the usual stern, gruff man that acts as your Captain, and you let out a choked whine of bewilderment as he slides down your body.
Your thighs are clamped together, shy under his gaze despite how desperately eager you are. You want this, you want him, but you canât help but feel so mortified by the vulnerability of being nude beneath him on the couch while his big formidable body is still entirely clothed.
Priceâs fingers stroke against your hip, his tone low and rich as his lips find your throat again. You can feel his tongue darting out against your skin, his hunger so palpable now that itâs infectious.
âLet daddy see you,â He croaks against the hollow of your throat. âSpread your legs, sweetheart.â
Itâs not like you could ever say no to that. The request sends liquid heat shooting straight to your cunt, making you hot and sticky. You spread your thighs, and feel embarrassment flare when thereâs a squelch as your cunt unsticks. Andâ Jesus, Priceâs eyes fucking light up, and you realise that heâs clocked your reaction to his honeyed words, the way he calls himself daddy.
The kiss he gives you is claiming and hungry, consuming your lips with a fervour that leaves no room for doubt about his intentions. Itâs a taste of both command and reverence â in equal measure. When he pulls away from your mouth youâre breathless, still gasping softly even as he pushes himself down the length of your body.
In the blink of an eye, heâs there â between your welcoming thighs, his hands resting securely on your soft hips, as much a lifeline as a promise of whatâs to come. Your pussy is already sloppy, slick and wet in anticipation of him. He shoves his head between your thighs, using his thumbs to spread apart your folds and just look at you.
Your back arches at even the suggestion of his touch, feeling his breath ghost over the heated slick flesh of your cunt. Despite your obvious willingness, and his apparent eagerness, he doesnât immediately touch you.
You crane your neck to see that heâs staring at your pussy as though the sight of it is earth-shattering. His gaze drinks you in, heated blue eyes taking in the sight of your swollen sticky folds, no doubt throbbing invitingly under his attention. Youâve never seen a man look so hungry, like heâs about to risk anything for it. A dark, groaned "fuck" escapes him as he kneels between your spread legs, head bowed as if in reverence.
"Daddy needs a taste, sweet girl," His deep voice a heavy rumble, vibrating against your soft inner thighs.Â
It takes a beat for you to realise that heâs holding himself back, that heâs essentially asking for permission to lay his mouth on you, but then you gasp, âYes, fuck, yes, pleaseââ
Price takes it as the enthusiastic invitation that it is and bursts into movement immediately, reaching out and guiding your legs wider so that he can muscle in between them properly, before leaning in and finally getting his mouth on you.
You choke, hips aching as you try to spread your legs even further. Price drags the flat of his tongue along the seam of your cunt, groaning as though heâs savouring the taste of you, before wrapping his arms around your thighs to keep you all spread open for him as his tongue rasps over your sensitive flesh.
You want to call out for him, but his name stalls on your tongue. What would you call him â Price? John? Captain? Daddy? You think you would die if you said it out loud.
Then his tongue finds your clit, and your thoughts scatter. He flicks the tip of his tongue over you, back and forth, then flattens it to grind eagerly. You had thought, given the way he had taken that moment just to look at you before heâd pressed his mouth to you, that he would start slow. But instead, he gives you everything he has.
You cry out as he devours your cunt, his bushy eyebrows pulling up in delight as you give him your first moan. While your legs had spread wide in the beginning, eager to let him in, you now close them tight around his head to keep him in place. You have a brief, hazy thought that maybe this is an asshole move of you, a little like if a man were to hold your head down while you were sucking cock, but Price doesnât seem to mind. If anything, judging by the snarl he lets out when your thighs close around his ears, he likes it.
You toss your head back against the worn couch cushions as jolts of white-hot heat spread from where his mouth is working at you, playing with you, tongue painting long, broad strokes up and down your pussy.Â
Your cunt is syrupy hot, throbbing as his tongue rubs relentlessly at your clit. Youâre so fucking wet, and you canât help yourself from rolling your hips more assertively into his mouth. Youâre leaking on his mouth, his tongue, your slick drenching his cheeks and his beard.
Seized by a sudden urge to watch, you clumsily raise your head so you can look down. It feels entirely illicit, watching Priceâs head between your legs as he buries his face so enthusiastically into your folds. His eyes flash as he glances up, the bottom half of his face hidden entirely in your pussy as his jaw works, the soft hair of his beard tickling your sensitive inner thighs.
With a jolt, you realise that one of his hands has fallen to his lap, his trousers hastily pushed open. Heâs fisting at his dripping cock, red and angry and still begging for release against the thick dark hair of his stomach. Sticky pre-cum leaks from his flushed head, pooling into his skin and clothes as his cock bobs and twitches at the sounds of your moans.
The sudden realisation that Price is getting off on this, on the taste of you and the smell of you and the way youâre whining, sets you aflame. He grunts, one of his big handâs wrapping around his throbbing skin to pump his length to the rhythm of his tongue inside of you.
âOh, oh fuck,â You press your lips together, stomach pulling tight as his tongue thrusts up inside of you, âFuck, fuck, fuck thatâs so good, oh god, Captainââ
âYeah,â Price grunts, his words all wetly muffled, his arms wrapped tight around your thighs to keep you in place as he feasts on you, sucking on your clit like itâs a sweet. âI know, baby, I know.â
Heâs so accommodating, so nice to you. You tilt your hips up and grind your cunt into his mouth, sighing in satisfaction as his tongue drags along your clit before dipping to lick inside of you. He barely even shifts when you hump your pussy into his face; he only opens his mouth wider, licks at you more enthusiastically as though your desperation is contagious.Â
Your belly goes hot and tight, and a high-pitched whimper is torn from your throat. It feels as though youâve been strung high and taut for months now, and your breath catches at your imminent orgasm. Youâve just been so stressed, and having Price hunched over you on the couch like this with your legs thrown up around his shoulders as he licks and sucks at you so eagerly that it has your eyes rolling in your head feels like itâs curing you.
You think, somewhat madly, that an orgasm like this, with Priceâs mouth sealed over your cunt, will solve every damn problem you have right now.
âWanna come, wanna come, Jesus fucking Christ, please pleaseââ Your chest heaves as you scramble, one of your hands reaching down to cup Priceâs head to keep him in place, face buried in your cunt. âOh god, please make me comeââ
Maybe itâs not fair to be so demanding of him, but to his credit Price responds with restless enthusiasm. You double over in pleasure as he heeds your broken little pleas, your nails scraping into the couch as you cling on for dear life. His tongue swirls over your clit quickly and with fervour, tight circles to make your vision go blurry.
Youâre lost in the sensation of his hot, wet mouth in your cunt, the way he licks into you like a starving man tasting his first meal. It feels like a sensation overload, as though youâre just completely lost to your own desire, but you just want more of what he is offering.Â
You grab his hair again and pull him closer, greedy with need, and he hums in affirmation as he allows you to guide his mouth to exactly where you need it. Arching your hips up, you grind into his mouth, chasing your orgasm. You groan, eyelids fluttering as you wrap your other leg around Priceâs shoulders, up around his neck, and his hand snakes around your thigh to anchor you there.
Priceâs fingers are gripping at your hips, surely hard enough to leave bruises there. You smile, almost deliriously; you could live with some souvenirs from tonight.
Your feeble gasps start to spiral into whimpers as that hot coil begins to tighten in your belly, and your toes start to curl. When your climax finally hits, it does so with a sense of relief that almost knocks you flat. Your body winds tight then releases, and you convulse in a wave of shudders that has you sobbing out loud.
Your chest heaves as you sob, squirming as Price licks at your clit insistently. It feels like your breath has caught in your chest, your toes curling so hard that your feet cramp. Youâre panting like a damn dog as your orgasm rocks through you, until the waves of it subside and you can finally get a full breath again.
From one second to the next your nerves turn red-hot and oversensitive, and you clamp your thighs shut around Priceâs ears and whimper-whine pathetically. Mercifully, he gets your unspoken message easily, and finally pulls back, chuckling breathlessly to himself as he pushes your legs apart in order to retreat.
âFuck,â He says, and his voice comes out as harsh and gravelly as youâve ever heard it. âJesus Christ. Knew youâd taste sweet, knew that youâd come so pretty.â
The praise practically slams into you, ripping through you like a forest fire. It feels like youâve lost your breath all over again, and ridiculously you suddenly feel shy.Â
âIâThatââ You start to say, but you still feel a little fuzzy-headed from your orgasm and your thoughts fizz away like TV static.Â
âMhm, I know, sweet girl.â He murmurs hoarsely as though you had said something coherent.Â
When Price finally sits up, you blink hazily. He had been all hunched over you, crammed into the corner of the couch in order to squeeze himself between your thighs like that, but now that heâs straightening back up again youâre reminded with a tired jolt just how big and broad and strong he is.
A small, self-conscious part of your brain screams at you to close your legs. Your thighs are still spread wide, your cunt on display; youâre still all sloppy and wet, spit-slick and dripping, all puffy from the attention Price had lavished on you with his mouth.
But instead of closing your legs, you let your thighs fall open a little wider and shift restlessly under his intense gaze. Your desire makes you stupid â how could you ever experience anything as mundane as self-consciousness when heâs staring at you like that? Heâs looking at you like he wants to fall atop you all over again, and you feel yourself throb â you feel so empty, your body craving something to fill you.
And Price notices the way you keep yourself all spread for him, the way you donât make any move to cover yourself. Beneath his beard, his face splits into a wide smile, the apples of his cheeks practically glowing with pride.
âOh, my girl, you're so pretty. Just the loveliest girl in the world with your beautiful face and your hair all wild like that.â He leans in then, and presses a hungry kiss to your mouth. He tastes salty-sweet, the iron tang of yourself lingering on his lips. His beard is wet too, practically soaked through.
You gasp when he pulls back, overwhelmed by the kiss and the praise and the electric aftershocks of your orgasm. âYour beard is wet.â You observe dumbly.
He chuckles, as though youâve said something terribly endearing. âOf course it is, sweetheart. Thatâs all you.â
You mumble a little incoherently, mostly because youâve just spotted the way his trousers are still unbuttoned and his hard, swollen cock is jutting out from the band of his boxers. Itâs angry looking, the head of it so red it looks a little painful, and you feel a sudden urge to return the favour seize you.
But when you reach out, Price is quick to grab your wrist. He transfers his grip to your hand swiftly so you donât feel as though youâre being held down, his wide palm and thick fingers winding around yours.
âDonât have to do that, love.â He grunts, shifting. Heâs looming over you, hips tilted towards you and his wide shoulders blocking out your view of the office. âDâyou think you could take me?â
It takes you a moment for your slow, stupid brain to catch up and process what heâs asking you. Then you nod swiftly, eyes widening. You're wet and sticky and so so empty, and you have no doubt your body is so ready to take him inside.Â
Youâre still a little limp and drained from the satisfaction of your orgasm, but you keep your thighs spread and wait eagerly for him to touch you again. He doesnât keep you waiting long; he coos softly at you as he adjusts himself, kissing your tummy then up your sternum and back to your throat. The soft, sweet kisses distract you as he presses his hips between your thighs.
You gasp softly, your clit sensitive enough that when his cock rubs against it, you jolt. Despite the overload of sensation, you find yourself grinding back against him, so desperate for something. As if he can sense what you need, he presses a kiss to your jaw and dips a hand between your thighs. Two thick, calloused fingers circle your clit for a moment and make you whimper, only to dip lower and press inside you.
His fingers are larger than yours, but they still slip into you so damn easily that itâs embarrassing. You barely even feel a stretch, your body so eager for him that your cunt practically sucks his fingers up.
The worst part is the way Price laughs, all soft and breathy as he rubs his callous-roughened fingers into the spongey walls of your cunt.Â
âOh, fuck,â He murmurs, his lips dragging over your overheated skin. âYeah, youâll take me just fine.â
You burn with embarrassment, but you still donât close your legs. Itâs silly, but thereâs still an element of pride as his fingers rub against the soft inside of your pussy; you want him to see how much you want him, how well youâll take him. Itâs obvious how wet you are, and you hope heâs imagining how good youâll feel on the inside.
âNeed you to turn over for me, love.â He murmurs, gripping at your hips and easing you over so that youâre on your belly beneath him. âThatâs it, arse up. My knees arenât what they used to be. Make it easy for me.â
You usually would make a joke about that, some sort of jab about being old before his time, but you simply donât have the mental capacity for it. Youâre too busy dropping to rest your weight on your elbows as you stick your ass up towards him, arching your back and hoping you look pretty.
He doesnât waste any more time, much to your relief. Your mouth drops open with a sigh as you feel the blunt head of his cock glide between your slick folds, tapping once against your clit just to watch the way your legs jerk, then finally lining up with your entrance and pressing lightly in. His cock notches, catches, then slides in so slowly that it makes you want to scream.
âGotta let me in, petal.â He says, using his grip on your hips to pull you back onto his cock in increments. âRelax, relax.â
You had wanted this, youâre more eager than you think youâve ever been for anyone in your life, and yet Price is a big man and the stretch makes your breath stall in your lungs. Your cunt is sucking his cock in further with a hunger thatâs almost embarrassing, even as you wince a little at the feeling of being stretched out to your limits. Though youâre wet and eager and ready, two of Priceâs fingers briefly testing inside werenât quite enough to prepare you for how fat his cock is.Â
Your head is spinning. Youâve never taken a cock this big with so little stretching, but neither you nor Price are patient enough to wait. But the stretch feels good, and you find yourself wheezing like a moron as he presses inside inch by inch.
âFuck⊠you alright, love?â Price breathes, adjusting his knees on the couch behind you and wrapping his hands around your hips. The motion only succeeds in shifting him far enough away to make you aware of the feeling of him sliding into you again. You both groan, and you feel Price twitch, deep inside you.
âFuck,â You moan, breath gasping out of you. âYouâre fucking huge.â
It feels like youâre learning for the very first time what it really means to be full. For a few seconds, it feels like you canât even breathe. It feels like his cock is lodged somewhere in your belly, forcing the breath from your lungs as he nestles his way deeper into the eager clutch of your body.
âAm Iâ sâit too much, honey?â He asks, his voice rough and low as his hands squeeze at the flesh at your hips. âNeed me to take it out?â
âNo!â You blurt, and your body clenches up hard as though youâre trying to lock him in and keep him from escaping. âDonât you dare!â
His cock still feels so big, and when you tighten up as hard as you do it almost feels as though heâs fucking impaling you. Price groans as though heâs been shot, and his head lowers so that heâs burying his face into the space between your shoulderblades. His body lowers too until his chest is pressed to your back, joined at the hips as he rocks inside of you.Â
âOkay,â He grunts, and you can feel his chest expand as he takes a breath. âOkay, love, but you need to relax. Youâre going to squeeze my cock right off.â
âSorry.â You try to do as he asks, taking a deep breath and allowing your body to go limp and pliant. He grunts in appreciation, and you feel his whiskery beard rasp against your throat as he presses a kiss to your neck as if to reward you.
Your spine is still taut from the pressure of being all stretched out around his cock, and you reach back clumsily to grasp at his belly, the soft fabric of his shirt rucking up between your fingers. Price reaches back and grabs at the neck of his own shirt, tearing it over his head then tossing it aside. Your eyes are all hazy and a little blurred from your overwhelmed tears, but you look back over your shoulder and blink frantically in an attempt to get a proper look at him.Â
God, heâs so big and strong, his chest furred with a layer of brown hair curling in whorls over his nipples and down over his belly. You feel yourself pulse in response, your mouth dropping open in a thoughtless gasp of desire. Heâs exactly the kind of man you think of when you think of masculinity, and your belly tightens in anticipation when he presses all up against you, heavy and hot.
When he begins to pull out and press back in, the noise you make is utterly pathetic. It feels like he cleaving you in two, carving out a space for his cock every time he fucks back into you. Heâs cautious at first, conscious of hurting you, but when your thighs close around his hips he grunts and begins to pick his pace up.
âChrist, youâre tight,â Price says, his voice all rough and muffled against your shoulder. âAnd you're all mine, love, my own sweet girl, ainât that right? And daddy's gonna love you so good, isnât he?â
âYes,â You gasp stupidly, pressing your face into the couch cushions.
Typically, you find that doggy style can be a position thatâs a little detached â usually, you like seeing the face of the person youâre fucking. But right now, with Price plastering his whole hairy body against your back as he ruts into you and the sweet filthy words heâs murmuring to you, this position feels so far from detached that it has your head spinning. It feels like heâs blanketing you, the heat from his skin igniting what feels like an inferno between the two of you. Sweat beads at your forehead, and you moan softly as Price begins to fuck you properly.
Youâre bouncing against the couch, clutching at the cushions as your body moves under the weight of Priceâs powerful thrusts. The sound of it is sloppy and wet, your bodies smacking together quick and hard. And fuck, it feels good. His cock is hitting that perfect spot deep inside of you, and your entire body jolts with pleasure every time he pounds back in.Â
Itâs enough to make you squeal, your nails scrabbling desperately for purchase on the threadbare couch cushions in an attempt to stabilise yourself. Your nipples are sensitive from Priceâs licking at sucking at them, and your toes curl as your tits are pressed into the rough-textured cushions, electrifying your nerves to the point of almost too-much.Â
The noises you make are entirely undignified, and you struggle to muffle them into the couch. Little burbling ah ah ahâs are being torn from your throat every time Price fucks into you, the sensation of his furred balls slapping against you with every thrust has your eyes rolling.
Your body is all loose and pliant from your earlier orgasm, and you whimper as though youâre being fucked absolutely stupid. Itâs not that heâs fucking you all that hard, but heâs filling you up so deliciously and knowing that itâs him, your Captain, the man that youâve worked so damn hard to impress and to please, makes you feel like youâre going to explode. Even through the haze of desire and pleasure, a little part of you is still so aware of making him happy. You keep your back arched, practically waving your ass up in the air as he fucks into you.
âTell me how you like it, sweetheart. Tell me how it feels.â Price says in a low, rough purr. His chest is still pressed to your back even as the two of you pant and sweat as you rock together. âTell daddy how good he's making you feel.â
Jesus Christ, Price feels like a fucking furnace against you. It feels almost as though youâve been glued together, your skin sweat slick as he ruts into you like an animal. Your lungs are burning, and your mind is completely scattered. Getting fucked like this feels feels primal, an exchange of power through pleasure; youâre aware that heâs asked you a question, but you can hardly string two thoughts together. All you can do is squirm and whimper in below him as his weight pins you in place.
âGood,â You groan, vaguely aware that tears are leaking from your eyes and soaking the couch beneath you. Your vision is blurred, and you canât even see straight. âI justâ itâs so muchââ
âI know,â He rumbles. âBut you can take it, canât you? Youâve been so good, sweetheart.â
The praise does exactly what heâs hoping for; you practically melt into a puddle beneath him. Your thoughts are slow and sluggish, and your jaw hangs open as you fucking drool. Even still, you manage to nod your head clumsily. You can take him â it feels like a point of pride to prove it now, to show off how good you can be.
Priceâs rhythm is practically machine-like, and you make a quiet sound of pure appreciation when his cock slams into that gummy spot inside of you that makes you lose your breath. Itâs as though he takes note of it, because from that point on he stays absolutely jackhammering into that little spot, making you see stars and have to bite your lip to stifle your moans. His balls would slam against your clit in a repeated motion that made your underbelly tighten like a coil so close to snapping.
He groans every time he sinks into you, his growls rumbling into your back and ratcheting up the intensity another notch. You feel lost in a sea of sensation, moored only by the places of contact between you and Price. Your hips are humping back against Priceâs cock unconsciously, unable to help yourself and unable to get enough of him.
âI wanna come again,â You say, and it comes out in a demanding sort of whine. Itâs a little humbling to hear yourself and realise that you sound so honest to god bratty, but you canât bring yourself to care when Price is apparently in such a giving mood today.Â
âYouâre gonna come, love.â He promises. His voice has that tone to it, the one youâve always tried to ignore during work because it makes you so horny. The authoritative one, when it drops just a bit in pitch, when it sounds just a little like a threat.
But despite his promise, he doesnât change his steady pace. Youâre just this side of overwhelmed, but you still need more to push you over the edge into the second orgasm thatâs simmering in your lower stomach.Â
âPlease, daddy,â You let the name pass your lips on a whimper, finally giving in and calling him by the title heâs so clearly craving. Heâs fucked all the shame out of your body at this point, leaving you with nothing but white hot desperation. âPlease, please make me come againââ
âFuckinâ Christââ
Priceâs arm reaches around your front, and youâre startled when his big palm wraps around your throat. You think for a moment that youâre about to get choked, but no pressure follows. He just grips you there, gentle and secure, before using his hold on you to pull you back against him so that heâs rutting up into you at a speed thatâs overwhelming in the best way. His other arm reaches around your belly so that he can rub at your clit as he rails you into the couch. His soft grip on your throat ensures that no matter how much you try to squirm your way back into meeting his thrusts, youâre forced into stillness.Â
Itâs exactly what you wanted, and it has you wheezing and hiccuping out moans on every stroke. Itâs better than you ever could have hoped for, and youâre nearly sobbing from the sheer sensation of it all. You feel your abdomen drawing tight, heat beginning to build rapidly in the bottom of your belly as he strokes at your clit hard and fast at a pace that matches his fucking.
You know that youâre already starting to shake, trembling from head to toe. You canât even keep your back arched anymore, though you donât think Price gives a shit because he just nuzzles at the base of your shoulder as he fucks into you. Between his cock and his fingers, everything just feels too much but your body is strung taut as you proverbially climb higher and higher.
âOh god, Iâmâ yes, yes, yesââ You chant, your voice high and reedy and so damn needy.
Then the world falls out from under you. With one last whimpering moan, your body convulses beneath the heavy weight of your captainâs big body. Your vision practically wipes out, and you squeeze down around Priceâs dick and pulse. Your whole body rocks with the flood of pleasure, the warm fuzzy feeling that makes you feel as though youâre losing your mind. You know that your hips are twitching madly, simultaneously trying to get more and less as you get overwhelmed by the feeling of him fucking you through it all.
Youâre still coming down from the sweet release of your orgasm when Price practically tears himself away from you, leaving you cruelly empty and clenching around nothing. You let out a sharp sound of loss, startled that heâs pulled away so suddenly, and you find yourself slumping bonelessly against the couch now that his hands are no longer supporting you.
The wet shlurping sounds from behind you prompt you to glance lazily over your shoulder from where your face is smushed against the cushions, and youâre blessed with the sight of Price tugging his cock furiously behind you. His cheeks are bright red as he stares at the mess heâs made of you, his jaw soft and his mouth open as he pants.
He sees you looking, and whatever expression is on your face seems to be his undoing. He takes in your tear-clumped eyelashes and your dazed expression, and you can practically see the moment he hurtles over the edge. He practically snarls, his nose scrunching in a way thatâs unexpectedly adorable right as his cock gives one fat pump of thick white come, then several smaller sputterings that collect in a creamy puddle right at the base of your spine, just over the swell of your ass.
You sigh, your eyelids fluttering lazily shut as you relish the feeling of his hot come hitting your skin. You still canât manage to pull yourself together, feeling loose and floaty like youâre on another fucking planet entirely. Youâre only distantly aware of his big palm rubbing gentle circles on the small of his back; you think for a second that heâs just trying to soothe you, until your fucked out brain catches up and you realise that heâs rubbing his come into you like itâs goddamn lotion. Your cunt gives a tired throb at the realisation, fluttering as though itâs sad that he didnât come inside.
âFuckâŠâ You hear him rumble from behind you, then a hot heavy weight settling over you yet again. This time, he pulls you back into his arms to hold you tight against his chest.Â
You go perfectly limp, curling into him and nuzzling into his sweaty hairy chest. Despite yourself, youâre reminded of cuddling with a massive teddy bear. All you can do is hum, basking in the affection and hardly able to think at this point after heâs turned your brain into a slurry of feelings without thoughts.
âYou okay, love?â Price asks. You can feel his nose nuzzling against your temple, though you canât quite summon the energy to open your eyes again. âDid I go too hard on you?â
Your legs are still shaky, your hamstrings aching and your back throbbing a little from the pounding youâve just taken. But Price is being so lovely and soft, so gentle with you right now. His hands coast over your hips, your back, your waist, squeezing a little bit just because he seems to like the way you feel in his hands.
âShhh,â You drawl shakily. âDonât make me think right now.â
A low chuckle, and you feel his broad chest rumble with it where your head is laying atop him. His fingers run up the length of your spine, the touch making you shiver. He touches you like youâre delicate, a stark contrast to the way heâd just fucked you into your sad little office couch. It makes something in your belly squirm.
âAlright. My girl just needed to switch off for a while, hm?â He murmurs, and you can hear the clear undertone of amusement in his voice. âHow are you going to finish out work today if youâre all sleepy like this, huh?â
That wakes you up a little, and you finally blink your eyes open again in order to look up at him. An edge of panic is beginning to creep in as awareness comes back to you, and you take a deep breath as your hands curl against his chest.
âOh my god.â You blurt, eyes growing wide. âIâ weâre at work!â
âSharp as ever, darling.â
Not even Priceâs lazy wryness can distract you now. You try to wiggle off the couch, already craning your head around in search of your clothes, but Priceâs thick arm locks tight around your middle and keeps you pressed to him.
âWe have toâ oh my god, we have to get dressed, what if someone walks inââ
âShh, shhh, I locked the door when I came in,â Price grumbles. He doesnât appear too impressed with the way youâre attempting to wiggle away, but it doesnât matter so much; even with one arm heâs perfectly capable of keeping you pinned in place against his chest. âLie back down, love.â
Slowly, you let yourself relax back into him. Itâs hard to hold onto your panic when heâs so obviously unbothered, so you end up hesitantly snuggling back up against his chest as his arms come up to close around you. Despite his encouragement, youâre unsure whether or not youâre allowed to be touching him like this. But his hands donât stray from you, not even once, and gradually you return to your previous state of being a puddle of limbs and pliant muscle.
âThatâs it, relax.â He coaxes, clearly pleased now that youâre melting back into him.Â
âI have so much work to catch up on.â You grumble, though you have no intention of actually going anywhere now that heâs given you the greenlight to stay like this.
His chest vibrates beneath your cheek, and you realise heâs chuckling again. It feels good, and you sigh softly as your fingers stroke lightly over the defined shape of his soft pecs.
âYou think I wasnât capable of keeping the ship afloat for the couple of days you were gone?â He asks, one hand stroking over your flank then dipping lower to flatten his palm over your left asscheek. âI finished out those little files you were stressinâ over. No picture of Ghost for his, but like I said, thatâs standard.â
You had known that he had finished updating the files for you when you had seen Farahâs, but hearing it straight from his mouth is something else entirely. You purse your lips and lower your eyes, still embarrassed about your little freak out despite his apologies.Â
âThank you.â You mumble.Â
You try to hide your face in his chest again, but a large hand on your jaw stops you by tilting your head back and forcing you to look at him. A thumb strokes over your cheek, and then heâs leaning in and pressing a sweet kiss to your mouth. You respond tiredly but eagerly, still hardly able to believe that your boss that youâve been mooning after for months is being so affectionate and intimate with you.
Price pulls back slightly so that your lips are just barely touching, breathing each otherâs air for a moment.
âAsk for help when you need it, sweetheart.â He murmurs, his lips dragging over yours. âThatâs what Iâm here for. We help each other with the workload, alright?â
âYeah,â You breathe, leaning in eagerly in the hopes of getting another kiss. âAlright.â
Price smiles, his cheeks going all full and round as his eyes crinkle, and you feel your heart throb so violently it feels as though it jumps right up into your throat. He leans in and kisses you again, soft and sweet as his beard rasps against your chin.
You want to stay like this forever, wrapped up so warm and cosy and safe in his arms. He makes you feel so safe, like youâre valued and appreciated, and you canât even feel bad about being lazy because he so clearly doesnât want to move either.
âLet me come home with you tonight,â He says suddenly, and you feel his bicep contract as he squeezes you closer. âYou have an apartment off base, donât you? Iâll⊠why donât I cook you dinner, hm? Want to show you how much I appreciate all the work you do.â
Thereâs a pause, then he adds cautiously, âIf Iâm not being presumptuous, that is.â
You canât stop the shy smile from overtaking your face. Heâs so sweet, and being on the receiving end of this kind of attention from him is more than you ever could have expected. Ridiculously, he seems a little nervous as well, and you come to the slow realisation that he had been vulnerable with you as well when it came to his interests when he had fucked you.
âI thought this was you appreciating the work I do.â You say coyly, glancing pointedly at all of your bare skin pressed up against his.
âMm. You do a lot of work, and Iâm very appreciative.â Price murmurs, squeezing teasingly at your ass.
You giggle despite yourself, relishing the light-hearted air between the two of you. At the sound of your laugh, Priceâs expression brightens further; itâs strange, seeing your usually stern, stressed captain being so sweet with you. Youâre so used to seeing him with that flinty determined look in his eyes, or barking orders, or with his eyes sagging with exhaustion after a long deployment only to return to a pile of mission reports. Seeing him like this, with those soft eyes and a fond smile, makes your heart feel as though itâs beating out of rhythm.
âI said Iâd look after you, sweetheart.â He murmurs, and this time his voice is missing that teasing undertone from before. He sounds so earnest now, almost painfully so. âYou just need to let me.â
Yeah, you think to yourself as you let yourself succumb to the drowsy haze thatâs been tugging at you, allowing your eyes to slide shut as you nuzzle into Priceâs bare chest. You think letting John Price look after you might just be the easiest thing youâve ever done.
#PLEASE don't look at me right now i will be taking NO questions on my state of mind#captain john price#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#price x reader#john price smut#cod smut#cod fic#141 x reader#daddy issues price
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A heartfelt and grievously expanded-upon update to thisâplease, please read the whole thing if you can. reblogs much appreciated.
(DISCLAIMER, for all who are saying reasons like abusive parents/legal stuff/toxic ex/triggering memories/page got deleted/job/stalkers/bullying/[[insert any other shitty life thing]], This is not concerning thatâpersonal safety & health ALWAYS comes first, and is worth more than any media ever could be. This is my biggest reason for defending that autonomy. I would be a hypocrite to say I hadnât deleted triggering posts of mine or ones that got me in trouble with my family.)
it genuinely makes me sad and kinda upset when someone purges all their old art off the internet like. barring harmful content what if someone liked that. What if someone would have. And now nobody will ever know and it's just gone. even people's old invader zim askblogs or whatever getting deleted feels like a micro alexandria to me and that's just something I made up. I wasn't even thinking of a specific one it just stresses me out. Is this the autism I don't get why nobody else seems to freak internally abt it like I do. I see artists whose blogs I've never even looked at go like "man so glad I deleted all my old stuff it's so clean" or saying they throw out art from when they were kids I'm like. how are you not hurling. How is that not distressing that is literally your tree rings why would you do that. I want to see what's out there. people want to see it I promise someone out there likes it
...don't they??? Does everyone get quietly irrationally upset by this as me, or is this just hyperfixation/autism/some amalgam of the two. I'm not a hoarder or obsessive compulsive or anything like that so i wonder..
Anyways. reblog if you had a favorite amateur youtube animator in your childhood whose channel got nuked without a trace one day that you still think about.
I wanted to attach this video because it condenses my point very well. A TLDR of sorts. Please watch the whole thing, it genuinely changed the entire way I think about art as a concept.
(2nd vid is "Subjectivity in Art")
âThe moment your art touches an audience, the ownership shifts in an irreversible way. [They're] not having an art experience with you and your intentions. They're having an art experience with the art object.
âYou can't just burn your past; it's not even your past to burn anymore. It's other people's history as well. Whether or not you like it, that art is already bonded to somebody's soul, and if you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it.â
The digital age makes it very easy to distance or detach yourself from the impact your work hasâbe it art, fanfic, videos, even memes. Online content is as important to people now as any other media, if not more. But it's also by far the easiest, fastest, and most effective form of it to erase from public access. Media so unbelievably important to people and in general. Yes, youâwith the 2010s purple sparkle dog speedpaint. I still think about that speedpaint all the time, because it was the first time i learned that you could draw on a computer, and I thought it was cool as hell. I still do.
I do wish there was a stronger culture of preservation and consideration for this, because every time I see people talk about snuffing their stuff because it doesn't personally resonate with them anymore, I just think ...what about all the people it did?
I've seen lots of people saying "get over it, it doesn't even matter," but it fucking does. It does matter. Even if I didnât make it, even if I donât have to deal with being the one who made it, even if I'm naturally inclined to be distressed by itâIt still matters. And thereâs nothing you could ever say to suddenly make it not matter, because thereâs nothing you could ever say to make it not matter to me.
Don't devalue the act of creation. Don't dismiss something you made. It's out there, in people's thoughts and hearts and souls, and that is real. Even if you don't know it. Especially if you don't know it. Especially in a world where physical media is being snuffed out, the internet is constantly dying without any physical remains to recover, social isolation is rampant, and simply because independently produced content online is still media.
Fanfiction can hold equal or greater significance to someone as a book, but you canât unpublish a book. Authors donât have a button that can vaporize every copy of their work across all time, but fanfiction authors do. Iâm not counting people who download fics eitherâwhen you buy a book, that transaction is over. But online, you have the power of unending transaction that can be terminated instantly at your will. The process of publishing fanfic vs. publishing a book may be different, but peopleâs connection to the art is the same intensity.
So yeah. I do get depressed about the Internet being a constant Alexandria, but the times I get the most depressed is when I click someone's page and see that all their work is gone because they're âcurating a new aestheticâ for their page or some shit. Or weeding out all the "ugly" art. Or just went on whatever the hell 'thrill deleting' is, because they just get a kick out of it.
Fuck itâyeah! It upsets me! Iâm not wrong to say that. Iâm saying it!
Under the cut, because it got long as shit! Also donât worry the ending is way sappier and more âbeauty of human natureâ vibe so itâs not all doom and gloom lol
What if that was someone's favorite art of that character. What if someone read that 'cringe oneshot' on the worst day of their life. What if that Warriors meme vid is still burned into a college studentâs mind despite being gone for 10 years. What if it's actually not just you and the ones and zeros you rent out to the worldâsecure in knowing the original will always be on your computer for you to do whatever you want with it.
I really, deeply wish there was more of a general awareness of this, because even though social media can be used like a diary, thatâs functionally the opposite of what it is. Itâs social media. When you post, itâs no longer in a vacuum, even though you canât see the real humans that content touchesâoften deeply.
Media is history. You shouldnât burn that history just because you personally believe it isnât worth saving.
Because itâs no longer just your personal opinion. Itâs no longer just your personal work. itâs. history. Memory of media is not a suitable replacement for the media itself. If it was, we wouldnât save anything at all. Nostalgia is an agent of that. The definition of nostalgia is grief for moments of the past that are inaccessible, and the biggest balm for that pain is accessing a physical reminder of those moments. That opinion of yours is no longer personal. Itâs weighed against uncountable people across all time that your thing is ALSO personal to. People who would, and will mourn its absence.
How many times have you joined an older fandom only to discover that some of its most popular works are gone? How many times have you routed through random blogs looking for scraps people hopefully reblogged? how many times have you used Wayback machine desperately praying that a fan fiction or a YouTube video will be there? How many times do you look up crunchy old vines or YouTube videos or anime AMVâs? How many times do you remember old fanfic.net sex that impacted you in middle school, only to shake your head and go âprobably no point even looking.â
i mourn the absence. No, people canât and shouldnât have their agency over what they post revoked, but they should be conscious of that weight. If youâre reading this and getting extremely annoyed, and youâre not in the pink text above,,,, good.
I honestly do hope it gets under your skin. I hope it sits with you. I hope you feel it every time you hit that button, and whether or not you do hit that buttonâif you hesitate, if you remember this, even spitefully, Iâve done my job. I am howling into the void. And I may not want an answer, but I do want my anguish to be heard and remembered. Because it isnât me just being melodramatic.
I know I sound that way writing so much, but if my favorite writing YouTuber can drop trow this week and go, "yeah, sorry, all my video essays from less than a year ago that you listen to in the car all the time? I'm "rebranding" my content so i deleted them. besides, my personal views don't really agree align with the analyses i did, or the techniques i taught in them anyway. Sorry if some of the literal tens of thousands of you used them, but I don't want to feel shackled to having youtuber "classics" tied to meâ
âŠ.then i guess I'm just going to have to sound dramatic! That fucking sucks! Hours of work and knowledge gone! This was a new channel too. Itâs very likely thereâs no archive of any kind, because who would think someone who worked hard enough to write, record, and edit hour-long videos, would just turn around and nuke it all? I definitely didnât see it coming, but I did just start a new screenwriting class a few weeks ago, so Iâll tell you at least one person is REALLY missing those fucking videos right now. Because a lot of them were about specifically screenwriting, which I know jack shit about. and that specific personâs pace, editing, and style of breaking down information was the best suited style I found that I could focus on and absorb. Thereâs no replacement for that. No alternative for his individual perspective. his jokes. his opinions.
No, they may not resonate with him now, but in this decision, heâs put up a big middle finger to everyone who might have. And he has like 100k subscribers! Those are confirmed supporters! Imagine how many silent and untethered observers are feeling this loss right now. Imagine how many will not have it in the future.
If he never posted them at all, we wouldnât know we had it. It wouldnât be a loss. But we did. We did have it. Until he decided that no, we didnât, because he just happens to be the one out of millions of individuals holding the button to burn it in a hundredth of a second.
His personal work, the attachment I had to it, and the ways that it helped me are now just ripped away. I am one person out of millions, literal MILLIONS of people who saw and liked this content before it vanished. The soul has been ripped, the access severed, and by CJâs (and my) definition, the art is functionally dead. Not for the YouTuber or anyone else lucky enough to save a link or download, but everyone else. From this point until the end of time, even if people even two weeks from now donât know it. Even if someone who stumbles upon his channel today, doesnât know it.
We only mourn the concept of Alexandria because we had some kind of scope for what was inside. Yes, maybe you got self-conscious and deleted your 12 year old deviant art account. Do you know who else is doing that?? THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of other twenty somethings who ALSO feel self-conscious about their old socials. Art. Fanfic. One direction fan videos. anything.
Suddenly, an unquantifiable amount of information from your age groupâan entire age group in 2012, is. gone. And we will NEVER know whatâs been erased from that history. We will NEVER know what could have been significant to us ten years from now. Twenty years from now. A hundred years. A thousand.
You could have deleted a fanfic that would have been someone elseâs new go-to panic attack distraction tomorrow. You could have deleted a video someone used to laugh at with their friend who died yesterday. When you delete something, you risk tearing a hole in unknowable personal histories.
The Internet isnât just a big library of Alexandria. Itâs a library containing libraries. And those libraries have their own libraries in those libraries have their own as well. libraries inside libraries, inside libraries, ad infinitum. To conceive the amount of destroyed history on the Internet is crushing.
And I just canât help but I ask myself how in gods name people can choose to contribute to that, instead of reposting everything to trash heap alts titled âhall of shameâ or some shit.
You can offload to alts. Put up disclaimers. Make password locked blogs, or dropboxes, or anonymous imgur dumps. Anonymous reuploads. Orphan fics. Make a playlist or linktree of unlisted videos. Cut off the watermarks. Delete all references to it on your main. Make a dedicated unlisted playlist. make a google drive. Make new portfolio sites. Delete any questions you get about it. Change pen names. Pretend it never existed.
Give a heads up.
Something.
But donât. kill. the media.
The knowledge that our stuff is going to forever be tied to us is a cross we have to bear, but the responsibility that comes with putting it out there in the first place, canât be ignored.
Anyway. I'm not trying to start conflict. This is not a bash on anyone, nor a call for witch hunts. Or anon hate, or blocks and unfollows or anything of that nature. I'm not wishing ramifications or hate of any kind on anyone who does wants to do any of this.
I'm also not guilt trippingâ I am not saying that you should feel bad. I AM saying why it makes me feel bad. Thatâs not guilting, itâs a dialogue. One I personally feel is long overdue.
It's me yelling into the void: please consider the real people on the other side of the screen before you hit that button. Realize and know that whatever you're about to erase from history could be the most important thing in the world to someone.
Art is an experience. It's why we revisit it. If art and history simply lived in the matter and code of media, we would only need to look at it once. We wouldnât put things in museums. We wouldnât build libraries. We wouldnât look up vine compilations.
If you're able, consider (and I do mean consider, this is not a call to action) not destroying that. And donât shrug it off as some pretentious asshole venting on Tumblr. You only need to look in the notes and tags to see that it isnât just me. itâs never just me, or you, or the pixels.
And even if you do shrug it off, then at least recognize that what you make matters. Whatever you think about it, if itâs out there, that's not your discretion anymore. If a tree falls in the woods and even one person is around to see it, it fucking mattered. Because it happened. Donât mulch your tree rings if you donât have to. Because if enough people do it, a whole forest is gone. Media is history, no matter whether you think itâs worth putting in a museum, or only has 30 notes.
Thousands of years ago, a child named onfim doodled on his homework. Theyâre crude, and everyone has the wrong amount of fingers, and theyâre also priceless archaeological artifacts recognizable throughout the world.
the only thing separating Onfimâs doodles and your MS paint PokĂ©mon doodles is time. The only thing separating your old MS paint PokĂ©mon doodles from being a priceless artifacts, thousands of years in the future is time. Your creations are already priceless artifacts. No matter what you do, don't ever, ever deny that. It isnât blowing up your own ass, itâs artistic and anthropological fact.
The mundane and the supposedly unworthy are often the first things lost to time, and thatâs why theyâre so precious. Thatâs why artists who were before their time are scorned first only to be celebrated later. Do you think they knew that was going to happen?? What if they nuked it? Many probably did! But now thatâs happening exponentially and instantaneously everywhere, WITHOUT the artist having to destroy their only copyâwhich makes it way easier and more dismissable.
Sometimes, If youâre revolutionary enough, people will make an effort to preserve your work, but recognized and thoroughly recorded work is rare compared to unrecognized and thoroughly recorded work.
Sometimes something is beloved enough that it would be impossible for it not to go down in history, but even then it isnt a guarantee, and itâs rare. But if van Gogh burned all of his paintings in a fit of despair before his death, we would have no van Gogh. Because he wasnât respected as an artist in his time, but that wasnât what defined the worth of his art. The people after him did, because his art was still there for them.
If you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it. If you belittle your art, you belittle the very real relationships and emotions and revisitations people have with the media. You defy the inherent worth and weight of a creation. you created. That's effort. It's passion. No matter how flippant or unskilled or worthless you think it is, it matters. Because at the end of the day, you could have chosen to make nothing at all, and you didn't.
âą
Muting notifs
#artists on tumblr#Artistic#digital art#art history#anthropology#humanity#art discussion#art theory#skit yells
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brutus: out for blood (villain au concept)
ft. neglectful yandere! bruce wayne x gn villain! reader
â masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: did anybody ask for this? no! did i decide to write this anyways? abso -fucking-lutely. is this a rantfic? mayybee. anyways, this is not my best piece nor will anything i write be my best piece but i just love destroying my happiness with angst and altho writing a very anxiety ridden mc is fun, i also love to dabble in sadomasochistic traits for a main character. like i said, i am not proud of this but i figured i should post something. erm... leave comments bec i love reading whatever stuff u guys have in store hehe.
you've tasted blood on your tongue far longer than you've felt the loving touch of a family.
it's metallic. it's salty. it twists every vein in your gut.
it tastes of broken metal pipes in playgrounds, destructive tantrums and broken dreams, of skipped classes and detention rooms, of ripped test papers and missed diplomas. it reminds you of your bitter past every single time; one you swore you've buried six feet deep into the ground. a burning memory with nothing more than heartaches and heartbreaks.
you taste blood whenever they reject your advances for even a single moment of bonding time. you feel it pumping slowly, steadily, painfully whenever you stumble upon a room, only to see them, smiles and all, huddled together in a group with junk food in their hands and a movie playing in that stupid flat screen tv. you know it's the only thing accompanying you whenever he misses another event in your school. it becomes the only friend you have whenever you're alone, inside your too-small room, with shatters glass scattered around and bruised knuckles.
blood, for most, is vile, utterly repulsive. it reeks in every corner of a room, its scent is overpowering, it stains, it's hard to clean. it imprints. and it will always remind you it's there, in the depths of your body, curdling and boiling and ready to burst out of the seems every time you rip at your skin with a razor sharp blade. blood has always been your only friend, like a scar that will never fade away.
yet you embrace crimson like it was the color of your soul, and accept how it's the only color you allow in your grim life. black has never provided you solace, but red allowed for a mantra of emotions to trail into your very being.
blood. it's more homely than you let it out to be.
and you're far more familiar with it than anything else. you cradle it like an unwanted child, you kiss its wounds, allow it to fester and grow into an abhorrent disease that crawls like a lump in your throat that you could never get rid of.
in moments of solace, of quaint prayers and hours of kneeling into the floorâ it is the thing that slides on cold, hard tiles. it is the warmth, the numbness, the thing that seeps out of your bruised knees, your scratched neck and your thighs with fingernails buried deep into flesh.
you've come to love blood, cherish it even.
especially if it's your own.
especially if it came from the punch of none other than your father.
left, right, left, right.
his punches were cruel and his kicks can easily crush bones into powder. he demands answers with every strike he delivers, he exudes an energy far more adrenaline based than yours. batman is methodical in the way he moves, the way he acts, and you're not; you're impulsive, you had no plans to counter the towering manâ no counter for the brutal hits he lay upon you. you let him, you open every doorway world to beat your body black and blue, with red painting the canvas as a finishing touch.
he's stronger than you, and every time he bashes your head into the wall, the urge to spit into his face, to piss him off, to laugh at him and his Idiocracy; it all becomes stronger.
yet all you do was allow him multiple openings, denying yourself the pleasure of attempting to even take your abandoned gun at the corner and shoot at his craniumâ you want him to suffer, even if it costs you your mobility by the near future, fuck it.
up, down, to the side, then an uppercut to your jaw and you're nearly depleted of anymore moves to counter. you want to seem like you've given up; but you want him pissed off, enough to punch you 'til blood seeps into the fibers of your mask. until your face starts bruising, until your nose breaks, until he finally rips your mask off and sees your face.
and he'll come to regret.
you shift to the side, and ignore the sting of your throat, the lull of your head and the soreness of your entire body.
because if you hadn't dodged, then your head would've left an imprint on the walls. you would've preferred that now, rather than the disgusting feeling of sentimentality that creeps into your heart at the implication that his blows were slowly, but surely, weakening.
he's holding back, you hold back a sneer.
as if he actually cares about you.
maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. you know he cares far more deeply for his enemies than he does you, and you hate how glad you are at the pride that finally, just finally are you being acknowledged. at the opposite end of his side, as enemies. but for once you can feel the care he offers others, most of which were nonexistent back when you were just some... nobody.
batman never kills; but he can hurt, he can injure, and he can destroy. and right now, you feel all the air leaving your body as the cloaked vigilante delivers the last punch to your ribcage.
you fall, on your hands and knees, a loud thump resounding through the empty abandoned building. all you hear are your crackling joints, and heavy breathing. heavy, like your eyelids, about to fall, about to shut until black encompasses your vision. if not for the remaining adrenaline coursing through your veins, you would've faintedâ but you won't, you wouldn't, not until you see him, see his face.
the thumping in your heart beats louder, and your hands. god, they feel like jelly, it's burning, it's one step closer on collapsing under gravelly concrete and piercing skin into rocks. yet you're forbidden any time for grace, not when he lightly shoves you out of your position, and not when you fall to your sides, hands paralyzed, tears prickling against your cheeks at the pain that burns throughout your body.
"you don't deserve peace after shooting that family in front of that child, you know it."
his voice, domineering, absolutely fucking vibrating with a tremor of sheer anger. he directs his words at you, without empathy, without mercy. he wants you to learn to never mess with him in the streets of gotham. but you'll never... not until he notices you. fuck, you just want him to notice you. and now, he is, with utter vexation that causes a lump in your throat to form.
shit, you've never felt so happy.
it's when his tussled form â heavy, pitch-black boots slathered with crimson liquid â enters your sight that you cough, violently, out of breath, and you can feel it one second, then taste it in your tongue the next.
blood.
you grin, and slowly, ever-so eminently, did you spiral into a cackle. your throat gurgles crimson liquid, and yet it only builds into a cacophony of a broken record. you move your head, look through your nearly shredded domino mask, with so little strength to accompany you, to look at the man above you, eyes glinting with a glow never so alive until now.
you're genuinely so fucking happy.
batman, he who strikes fear into the hearts of gotham villains and civilians alike. he who protects the city at night. he whose name is said with wavering uncertaintyâ he's looking at you, only you.
'bruce wayne: my dadâ is finally looking at me.'
and you! you're laughing, the sounds that emanate from your throat are so scratchy, so utterly decimated that it sounds like vultures feeding through a dead corpse; but you don't let your chuckles die down, because you're so, so happy.
he looks at you, with contempt, with disgust, you don't know; but you're still so overjoyed.
"y-yeah... it's me, i did it. are you proud of me...?" you ask as you look up, through the tears that flow out your eyes, through the grin that couldn't die down. he looks at you like you're insane, and you know he's confused, shifting uncomfortably as he gives someone a status update through the comms, his eyes never leaving your pathetic formâ
you look at him like he means the world all throughout.
"call for red robin, i have one of the culprits," he orders through the intangible device, eyes squinting as he takes you inâ you whose chuckles slowly calmed down, as your breathing finally becomes heavier, as blood, yours, seem to seep into clumsily made apparel. you, who bruce realized seem too oddly familiar, too small, too childish, whose moment of spiraling insanity is too damn innocent to ignore.
you're not like the typical rogue he encounters, no. and right before you finally allow sleep to overcome you, you muster the last of your energy, to stare back at him with shining eyes, expectant, and like a child's, you ask with the meekest voice.
"hey... dad, i have a surprise." scratchy, absolutely broken, yet spilling with joy, with... your last word right before you continue, bruce's heart thumps ever the slightest faster.
"take my mask off, please?"
crimson began to overtake your entire body, and bruce should've never complied with your... request, but as he kneels and finally gets a grasp of what you truly look like, he notices the frailness, the vulnerability, as if you were never built for... combat. with just how quickly you succumb to the depths of rest, with how oblivious you are to the fact that if it were anyone else, they would've killed you.
you're not properly trained, you fight out of impulse, and he knows it with just how swift you gave up midfight.
when he pulls the domino mask (which seems oddly inspired by the shape of... his vigilante partners, the robins...) off your face, did his heart finally hastened its pace, loud thumping crawling its way to his ears, his eyes registering your face: its form, its shape, your eyes, your noseâ
all similar to his, all an amalgamation of your mother's, too.
no... wait, no.
it's not...
it's not his... child?
you?
your eyes, flickering one last time stared at him, softly, like that of a child who looks at their father with pride like nothing else. your hand, it shakes, it shivers, as your fingers find its way creeping to his hand, holding your mask. fingers so dainty, now pulverized bones lay atop his shivering hand, tenderly, as if trying to comfort the very same man who has nearly killed you.
batmanâ no, bruce looks at you. at what he's done, and only now did he realize his greatest mistake. a child, his child, one whose innocence retained through heinous acts, now a villain, whose actions were all a testimony to merely wanting their father's attention.
he failed you, his child. he failed to protect you, who he has never held up close until nowâ as your body is hastily taken into his arms. so small, so easily wrapped around his body, so unbefitting of committing criminal activity. now bloodied and laid into barren ground by their very own father.
bruce wayne never felt this much terror, for nearly killing his child.
this, this day marks his sin.
and you? dearest you feel like today is your greatest day.
crimson, nearly every part of you is stained with that putrid color.
yet blood has always been your best friend, no? and right now as you bleed into the arms of your father, you find yourself grateful that it is the last thing you see before a black cloak wraps around you, before black fills your entire line of sight.
short rant ahead: another author's note??? wow. yeah this was such a hard drabble to write. plsplspls leave a comment or some sort of input. anything will do. ive been so demotivated to write lately and i feel like anything i write is just, so bad đ like is my pacing good? are the emotions out of place? am i even doing this right ?? i don't know, and i feel like every time i post something i always put up expectations on myself that I should've done better so yeahh. is this attention seeking behavior? probably. but i don't get how people have come to like the stuff i write when i hate whatever i write hence why im in a constant cycle of hiatuses and short breaks. and really, it's just so hard to come into terms with things and i need input lest i accidentally get into a year or two of hiatus, lmaoo.
#đ·... yael's works#đ§... yael's misc.#series: again & again#concept: brutus#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere batman#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere angst#platonic yandere#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n
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not to mention that the crossdressing actually ties into his wildcard-ness, aka his ability to change parts of himself to bond with others easier. the old guy's wife (it's been months since i read it, i forgot both of their names) had a previous career as an actor where she crossdressed as a man, and because ren was doing the same right there, the two could relate to each other. dude. mementos mission is so fucking good????????
persona 5 the animation WISHES it could give ren the character that rokuro saito does in mementos mission. like nice try but this one's 1000x more interesting, charming, creatively built off the game's canon, and prettier. and also he has an entire chapter dedicated to him crossdressing for like completely no reason and enjoying it so bonus points. extra ass man
#what i like is that mm never treated ren like how fanon does (rant in tags... sorry)#aka the smooth-talking sexyman who flirts with everyone#he's awkward. he's messy. but he's self aware and good at reading people. there is multiple instances where people are like#âewwwww hes a criminal!!! get him away before he stabs me!!!â and then it shows how completely fucking harmless he actually is#he has glasses and scruffy hair and he takes his cat everywhere. that guy is lame as hell and they embrace it#but he's intuitive and straightforward and brave. he straight up tells akechi that he could quit everything he's doing and change his ways#he tells makoto to run so he can fend off a literal assassin jumping them in the night#all of the protagonists are selfless and care about their friends whatever whatever but i think they all go about it differently#in my head narukami is actually quite self*ish* and its a part of himself he doesnt like (the p4 manga puts emphasis on the fact that he#really hates being alone and has been so all his life. so now hes making up for it)#and i think p1's manga shows that naoya just kind of disregards his own life and thinks everyone else deserves to live more than him#ren does it because sure. hes just some guy. but hes not a coward#and he never will be ever again because thats what he hates most and wants to change about the world#of course theres his moments where he does get scared and that leads to him not talking about his own problems but#can you blame him??? he has ptsd#his persona as joker is the side of him that truly embraces his bravery and unfiltered anger. the only reason he makes such a good leader#for a group of rebels is because he holds the most passion. the most drive. the most HATRED. your protag hates things!#this got off topic. um. mementos mission rocks actually and everyone should go read it#persona 5#reblog
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slut me out | njm x fem!reader
i.e you needed to give your situationship the time of his life after seeing his instagram story.
word count: 2.8k (not proof read)
content warning: situationship, open ending, smut lol, oral (m. rec.), fingering (f. rec.), explicit sex, unprotected sex(no!), creampie, lmk if i missed anything thanks!
author's note: two fics in one day! can we believe this LOL. would you guys be surprised if i said that i have a mark one that i'm hoping to finish and it'll be queued up for tomorrow morning/afternoon. i hope you all enjoy this fic and as always, dedicated to my crazy and delusional bffs. likes & reblogs are appreciated as always. requests are open till october 5th! i'm still working on my jay fic, and hoping to have that out by tuesday!!
âyouâre fucking crazy,â you said once the phone picked up after the first ring, âyou can delete that story, i saw it.â
jaemin let out a hearty laugh, âhmm? but jisungie looks so cute, what if one of my followers wants me to put them on with him?â
you jeer, fingering hovering over the red button on the screen, âyou definitely couldâve posted him without making sure your shirt is unbuttoned and they can see the chain that i bought you peeking through. what if theyâre crazy like me?â
âdonât worry, nobody has you beat in that department.â jaemin added quickly, âyou can come over if you want.â
did you want to? absolutely. you needed to rock his world so hard that it was likely to be rated a category 9.5 earthquake.
âyou can come to me,â you quipped back, âand hurry up, i dont have a lot of patience. donât change either.â
âyouâre so demanding,â jaemin whined, a glint of playfulness evident in his voice, âi have to stop at my other hoeâs house first, but iâll be there.â
ânot even funny.â you hung up the phone, rolling your eyes.
focusing back on your room, you jumped up in a panic. you needed to change and also pick up the clothes you had thrown all over the place.
realistically, you didnât know if jaemin was kidding about seeing somebody else first, but if he wasnât, you had about twenty minutes including traffic before he got to your place.
you shoved all the loose piece of clothing into whatever drawer or laundry basket they would fit into. doing a once over your room, you were satisfied with what you were able to do.
looking at your floor length mirror, you didnât care too much about what you had on. a big t-shirt with snoopy playing baseball on the front.
easy access for jaemin, but you should probably change your dingy halloween panties from victoria secret into something cute.
perhaps pink? that seemed on brand for tonightâs theme.
you were digging through your underwear drawer looking for that lacey pink thong you got from the mall a few weeks ago when you heard a knock on your door.
âfuck,â you said, slamming the drawer shut to no avail and rubbing your hands down your hair to smooth out any frizz, âfuck.â
the knocking got louder, causing you to practically trip on air as you ran to grab the door.
âtook your sweet time letting me in,â jaemin pouted. leaning against the doorframe when you opened it, âthat mad at me?â
rolling your eyes, you pulled him in by his silky pajama shirt and closing the door behind him, âguess she wasnât that good if you got here within the same hour of calling.â
jaemin smiled, dropping down onto your couch and sliding his shoes off, âiâd say she was pretty damn good if i got done quickly and iâm not here.â
you crossed your arms, scoffing at his comment and began to walk to your bedroom.
âyouâre such a dick.â
âi heard that,â he said, jumping off the couch to chase behind you, âi'm just kidding y/n, you know it's just you."
"are you sure? cause you keep making comments about other girls, are you trynna compensate? i don't care if you see other people."
jaemin laughed at you for the nth time this evening, making you want to just slam your bedroom door in his face and lock him out, but unfortunately for you, seeing jaemin in those pink pajamas and gold chain sent you into borderline ovulation.
you grabbed jaemin by the arm, leading him to sit on your bed and standing between his legs.
"it's just you," jaemin reassured, a hand coming up to rub your hip gently, "just like driving you crazy 'cause i know you're really fucking insane."
jaemin got a whiff of your secret cloud perfume as you leaned down and kissed his neck gently.
"i'm going to turn you every way but loose tonight," you whispered into his ear, teeth grazing the shell of his ear, "and i'm gonna show you how insane i am over you."
a shiver went down jaemin's back as you kissed down his neck and to his adam's apple, making sure to suck dark marks into his skin before placing your lips on his.
his arms wrapped your waist, pulling you down into his lap as he deepened the kiss. your hands found their way entangled into his brunette locks, moaning as he slipped his tongue into your mouth.
the two of you fought for dominance over the kiss, though jaemin just wanted to put up a good fight before letting you win.
you then slipped your tongue into his mouth, removing your hands from his hair and moving them down to his shoulders.
you gently pushed him back and onto the mattress, letting your fingers skillfully undo his pajama shirt, enjoying the smooth silk under your fingertips before pulling the shirt open.
jaemin pressed his hips up, hoping to get a small bit of friction on his growing erection and moaning when you rut your own hips down.
pulling away from the kiss, your chest heaved as you did a lookover his body. his plush lips swollen and glossy with spit, dark splots decorating his skin from earlier, his own defined chest moving rapidly as he tried to catch his own breath.
"you look so pretty under me, jaem," you complimented, your fingers dancing across his exposed collarbones and down his gold chain, "a sight only i should be allowed to see."
jaemin exhaled heavily through his nose, "a sight only for you. . please, don't stop. i want you. . i need you so badly, y/n."
how could you deny such a request from a pretty boy completely at your disposal? you weren't a cruel or dumb woman, so of course you'll comply.
you leaned down to attach your lips to his collarbone, biting and sucking gently as you made your way down his chest.
moving the pink fabric away, you let your tongue teasingly flick at his nipple to elicit a whiny moan from his mouth before taking his nipple between your lips.
"fuck y/n," he groaned, "that feels so good."
smirking to yourself, you pull off and stand up. the boy's eyes widened, trying to hold back another whine because why did you pull off? and why are you standing?
"c'mon," jaemin said, voice cracking slightly, "don't be a tease."
"a tease?" you titled your head as he sat up on his elbows, "if you beg, i'll consider."
a bright red hue cascaded over jaemin's face at your request, but he couldn't get any more pathetic than he already looked.
"y/n," he pleaded, "please do something. i am so undeniably hard, and if i don't feel those pretty lips or pretty hands wrapped around my dick that i know you love, i will implode and you'll be out of a bomb dick appointment and home."
a laugh escaped, jaemin really knew what to say to make you give into him. it's why you liked him honestly. he was funny and charming, and did in fact have a great dick that drove you insane. you used to be normal before he stuck his dick in you.
jaemin reached forward, grabbing your hand and placing it over his boner. that action alone could've made you cum in your panties because pathetic jaemin was probably your favorite jaemin.
you instinctively wrapped your fingers around it the best you could while it was restrained in those silky pants, slowly jerking him off and watching a bead of precum stain the fabric.
"see how hard i am?" he asked, breathily, "all for you. all because of you."
stroking your ego was one of the many things jaemin was good at, so you decided to play nicely and give him something to relief this tension you could feel growing in his body.
"take 'em off," you said, releasing his cock from your grip, moving back to give him room, "show me that pretty dick, jaem."
if you weren't standing in front of him, you were sure he would've fell face forward onto your carpet from how fast he was trying to get his pants down and off his hips.
once they were at his thighs, you leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before sinking down to your knees.
you were face to face with jaemin's cock, the tip an angry shade of red and precum still leaking from his slit.
spit began to pool inside your mouth the longer you looked at it, and you stuck your tongue out to swipe the precum dribbling from his cock.
jaemin moaned out, hands gripping the sheets beneath him, âstop. . put it in your mouth.â
you furrowed your eyebrows and looked up, âdonât make demands.â
the brunetteâs jaw ticked, one hand coming up to your hair and the other grabbing the base of his dick.
he pushed your head back roughly, tapping the head of his cock on your lips and smearing more precum across, âdonât be a fucking tease.â
your eyes widened in surprise at the switch in jaemin's demeanor, but instead of giving him a hard time, you complied by opening your mouth for him.
without hesitation, jaemin shoved his cock into your mouth until it hit the back of your throat which caused you to gag and tears well up in your eyes.
"don't get sensitive now," he mumbled, swiping the tears from your face, "now be good and suck. show me why you're my favorite."
his favorite? you should been his fuckin' only like he said you were earlier. what is up with the inconsistency? he's gonna piss you off.
you used your tongue to lick the under part of his cock, pulling off to leave just the tip in your mouth.
jaemin's grip on your hair tightened, trying his best to let you have control, but wanting nothing more than to just fuck your throat until you're sobbing.
you pulled completely off his cock, bringing your hand to jerk him off while you used your tongue to lick a stripe on his balls and gently suck.
the brunette's eyes rolled back, a string of moans and high pitched whines leaving his throat as you continued to toy with his balls.
whenever your hand reached the tip, you would squeeze every so slightly, causing him to fuck into your hand.
jaemin was close, and you could tell by the way he was whimpering and trying to chase your hand.
you looked up at him, smiling to yourself before pulling off his dick completely, basking in his borderline sob at the loss of contact.
"why did you stop?" tears welled up in his eyes, feeling like he would explode, "you're so fuckin' mean."
cooing, you wiped tears away from his eyes like he did earlier, "cause i knew you were close, jaem."
he sniffled, grabbing you and pinning you down onto the bed in one swift motion.
sometimes, you forget how strong he can be, causing you to get even more wet if that was possible. your panties were sticking almost uncomfortably to your cunt, and you were hoping he would do something to relief that soon.
too lost in your own thoughts of pleasure, you didn't even realize jaemin was pulling your t-shirt up until the cool air hit your nipples.
he used his lithe digits to roll your perked nipples around, causing you to squeal at the contact.
"love the panties," jaemin teased, using one of his hands to snap the waistband against your skin, "so cute and so soaked. god, you really get off from anything as long as it's me, huh?"
"you fuckin' wish," you tried to bite, but it came out as a whimper when he pressed his hand against your core, allowing for some friction of pleasure.
"shhh," he said, "can't even muster an ounce of niceness when i'm about to fuck you?"
jaemin flicked your nipples, smirking at your almost pained moan before moving down to take your underwear off, eyes watching how they were sticking to your sopping cunt, "so wet for me, hm?"
you nodded your head in compliance this time, "all for you."
he swiped a finger up your slit, bringing it to his mouth and licking it clean, "taste so sweet, but act so so mean towards nana, wonder why that is?"
you huffed, hooking a heel behind his thigh and pulling him close so his cock would make some contact with your cunt, a noise escaping your throat when the tip came into rough contact with your clit.
"that needy? what was it you said earlier? beg. beg for it, dumb whore."
degrading was something you and jaemin never tried, but with how effortlessly it slipped out of his mouth, you wish he would've done it sooner.
"jaem," you grinded against his cock, "please fuck me, y'know you want to. please, i need it so badly."
jaemin just looked at you unimpressed, dragging his cock up and down your cunt, looking at how you falter when his tip catches your sensitive bundle of nerves, "beg more."
you wanted to burst into tears, he knows how much you want him, he can feel how wet you are and probably at more slickness slipping out as he teased you, "nana, please put it in. i'll stop being mean, promise. i need your cock--i need you. please fuck me."
his left hand came up to smooth your hair out, smiling all his pearls at you as he slowly pushed the fat tip of his cock into you, finally.
jaemin slowly pushed himself into your cunt, moaning at how easily you took his cock, letting his hand fall from your hair and place pressure on your clit.
"it's like you were made for me, fuck" he gritted his teeth, thrusting shallowly into you, "taking me so well every time, your cunt just fuckin' sucks me in.. ha."
all you could do was moan in response, eyes rolling back when jaemin's gold chain smacked you in the nose, "fuck, too good."
jaemin rubbed your clit roughly as he picked his pace up, hips snapping against yours as your arousal ran down your thighs and his balls, creating a wet sound between the two of you.
you clenched around jaemin's cock, letting out high pitched noises of pleasure as he fucked you harshly, the knot in your stomach tightening and traveling down your pelvis.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" you cried, placing your hand on his lower abdomen and trying to push him away, but he quickly snatched it and held it above your head, "jaem, fuck, please, it's too much."
jaemin ignored your pleas, "y'know you can take it, stop trying to run from it."
when jaemin snapped his hips harshly once more, you felt that knot in your stomach break and ecstasy overtake your senses.
you couldn't even muster the feeling of embarassment from how good you felt when liquid practically sprayed your thighs and jaemin's abdomen.
the boy tapped the head of his cock on your clit, groaning loudly as you continued to squirt before roughly showing himself back into you.
"jaemin," you squealed, back arching up, "i can't! i can't."
"you can," he said, fucking you harshly, feeling himself getting closer and closer, "and you will take this dick. you wanna whine about other people havin' it so bad, take it, slut."
with jaemin fucking you so soon after an intense orgasm, all you could do was sob and mumble his name. it wasn't going to take you long to cum again, and jaemin could tell about how you were clenching on his dick.
your fingers dug into his shoulders, creating red crescents as his chain smacked you over and over again, his orgasm approaching any second.
"i'm so close, angel." he whined, his thrusts starting to stutter and slow down, "fuck, can i come inside please?"
"o-of course," you nodded your head, your own orgasm approaching once more, "please cum in me."
one more snap of jaemin's hips and he let out a loud moan, stilling himself as white hot ropes of his cum began to fill you and create a creamy ring around his cock, "fuck, you were too good."
he began to thrust slowly to ride out your orgasms, kissing your forehead and whispering sweet praises into your ear.
once you pushed his chest away to let him know he was overstimulating you, he pulled out completely and laid next to you, chest heaving rapidly.
"y/n." he turned on his side, "i really do like you."
you smiled, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers, "i really like you too jaemin."
he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek and pulled you closer to him, "it's always been just you."
end!
#nct dream imagines#nct dream smut#nct dream hard hours#nct dream hard thoughts#na jaemin imagines#na jaemin smut#na jaemin hard hours#na jaemin x reader#jaemin smut#jaemin hard hours#jaemin hard thoughts#jaemin imagines
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All Yours
"I'm going to fucking ruin you." / "I won't apologize for marking you up, everyone should know you're taken." / "I don't want anyone else. No one can make me feel like you do."
@somethingvicked tagging you because I accidentally deleted the original ask đŹ just wanted to say thanks for the request and a big, fat SORRY for taking so long. i was scrolling through my drafts the other day and saw this was like a year old and the shame managed to motivate me enough to finish this. Ooops again and I hope you enjoy!! Comments, likes, and reblogs are always cherished đ
Eddie Munson x F! Reader
AN: 18+ only!!!!!!, car sex, partially-clothed sex, piv, semi-public, titty worship, humping, dacryphilia, unwarranted jealousy, porn with a little plot, eddie's self-depricating at the beginning but he fucks like a god, very possesive! eddie, multiple orgasms, one (1) mention of pregnancy but it's off-hand and mostly unrelated to the sex, unprotected sex, I took the spirit of the prompts more than the literal wording, this is very different for me and maybe rushed? idk you tell me đ
Eddie always jokes that you're his second love.
His vanâwith its stained upholstery, rattling frame and the battery on its last legâwas here first, he says. And despite everything previously mentioned, he treats that car like his baby.
So when he slams his door hard enough to rattle the glass in the window, it wouldnât take a genius to know something is up.
Eddie sits silently in the half-light, gripping at the steering wheel with both hands and gnawing at his bottom lip until the skin turns white.
"Everything okay?"
He won't even look at you when he shoves the key in the ignition.
"Sure," Eddie says, but there's a bite to his voice, quiet over the roaring grind of the starter, "why wouldn't it be?"
The car does startâdespite his abuse to the engineâand you prop your feet up on the dash, raising your brows as he tears out onto the empty street.
"Ohhh-kay. Is this aboutâ"
You don't even get a chance to take a guess.
"It's not about Steve."
Eddie spits Steve's name at the window and the passing trees, their leaves blurring into inky smudges. You watch his jaw tick, eyes flashing from the road to the rear-view mirror, but never to you.
His resolve falters with the press of your hand against his on the gearshift.
"Really? âCause I was going to ask if this was about Patrick Swayze?â
The speedometer ticks up for a quick beat, and then drops, and Eddie squirms in his seat.
He steers off to the right, and the van shakes as the tires bump off the smooth pavement to the gravel edge of the road, little twigs snapping off on the trees outside against the fading paint.
"Fuck," Eddie grumbles, quiet, like he's having a conversation with himself. His fingers catch in his curls when he takes the other hand from the steering wheel. It's dark out here, away from the street lights, but you still catch the shine glazing his lower lashes, the way he blinks to keep any tears from pooling there.
"I mean, it's no big deal," you tell him, petting over his knuckles with your thumb, "I just wish you would have said something."
You're not sure what lies were spread to make sure the goofy little pre-teens didn't show up for movie night and try to break down Steve's door. You just knew thatâfor onceâeverybody piled on the couch in the living room was of legal age.
It seemed like an exciting prospect when the night started, but everything was pretty much the same: just more beer, and fewer voices shouting about whatever movie you were gonna watch.
Nancy and Robin were a united front when they pulled out Dirty Dancing, and you joined them, mostly to annoy Steve when he pretended he wasn't interested.
Eddie grumbled about the choice, arm slung around your shoulder, but he came around, eventually. Nobody can resist the allure of Johnny Castle.
However many beers you had may have been one too many, though, because as soon as the credits started rolling, Steve had yanked you from Eddie's grasp and onto your feet as Nancy and Robin were cheering jump jump jump and you ran, stumbling into Steve's arms with a surprisingly powerful leap. Then you were floating, high above the living room with a bird's eye view of the crushed beer cans and Hostess wrappers littered over the carpet for one glorious second.
Until you landed in a giggling heap with Steve groaning beneath you, the room shaking with laughter to the point of tears, until Robin threatened to pee her pants.
Now that you've sobered up a little, you recognize that Eddie hadn't been laughing along.
He lets his head fall back against the headrest, eyes big as saucers, pathetic like a little dog who's about to get yelled at for pissing on the couch, and he twists the hand that's resting beneath yours until your fingers intertwine, gives you a squeezeâa move you recognize as an apology before he's got the words for what he's feeling.
"You know I'm not interested in Steve, right?" you ask, squeezing back.
Eddie nods, but his eyes tell a different story. He carries this thing with himâa kind of self-conscious bewilderment each time you reach for him in a crowd, press your lips to his, call him your boyfriend when there are people around to hear it.
It's kind of funny how much it doesn't make sense to you, how you assumed that, deep down, Eddie knew that you loved him, but also how badly you wanted him. That it wasn't some kind of fluke or coincidence or apathy that kept you here.
Eddie's breath catches in his chest, like he's trying not to cry, and you know you were wrong. You're not doing nearly good enough a job at making Eddie feel half as loved as he is.
You slip your hand from his, resting it just above his kneeâan innocent start for your more illicit plansâscooting in your chair until you're almost nose to nose, lower your voice into a whisper.
"I'm serious, honey. You've got nothing to worry about."
Your plan is working already. Eddie swallows hard enough you can see his adam's apple jump in his throat, and his gaze keeps flickering from your eyes to the hand you've got on his thigh, climbing higher with each soothing stroke.
"Yeah, I-I know, baby, it's justâ" his breath hitches, but he's fighting to get the words out, wet lips parting with a heavy breath as your fingers travel higher, thumb in the crease between his thigh and his crotch, "it's Steve Harrington."
His voice jumps an octave on Steveâs name, and your quiet laughter comes out in little breaths.
âI don't want to talk about Steve Harrington."
Your words hit his mouth in a puff of hot air, and Eddie gasps into the kiss that follows, moaning a little when your palm meets the zipper of his jeans and his swelling cock beneath. The tip of his nose digs into your cheek, one of his big hands finding your waist, trying to pull you closer, or as close as he can with the center console in the way.
"God, baby. Need you- need you so bad," he huffs, but youâre already breaking from the kiss, lifting your hips from the seat as you crawl into the space between Eddieâs warm chest and the steering wheel.
âThen you can have me,â you tell him, settling your weight in his lap, grasping around for the lever thatâll give you a little extra space. The seat rattles back until it stops with a heavy clunk, and Eddie has to dig his teeth into his bottom lip to keep quiet when your body lurches into his.
He wonât meet your eyes, looking out the blackened windows, checking the car like somebodyâs gonna pop out from the back seat.
âWhat? Uh, I meanâlike, here?â
You take Eddieâs face in both your hands, relishing the scratch of the sparse stubble peppering his jaw. Out of habit, his hands come to rest on your thighs, and you hum in approval.
âWheneverââ you whisper, shifting your hips back just to bring them forward again, the crotch of your jeans meeting the bulge in his, rattling the chains hooked to his belt loops. Eddieâs neck goes taut, head pressed back against the seat.
âWhereverâ â you place your lips at the delicate skin heâs revealed, just brushing along the column of his throat. When you meet his eyes again, Eddieâs pupils are blown wide.
âAnd however you want me, Eddie. Iâm all yours.â
âYouâre all mine,â he repeats back to you, and his hands echo the sentiment, his confidence growing as he moves around to grip at your ass cheeks, pulling you more fully against him until he can grind up on you, his lips at your neck now, planting messy kisses at the edge of your throat that have you digging your fingers into his hair just to keep him there.
Your boyfriend's got a big dickâfucking hung like a horse, although he doesn't seem to know it, and he's already throbbing and heavy in his jeans, bucking his hips into you like he's trying to get you pregnant before heâs even inside you.
"Eddie," you sigh his name, just to admire the feeling of it, and he lets out a groan that has you dripping, the damp fabric of your panties sticking to your cunt and dragging over your clit with each shift of his hips.
"Yeah, baby?" he asks, and you hardly notice his hands at the zipper on your jacket, trailing it down, down, down until he can slip it from your shoulders, gripping at your tits through your tank top.
"You feel soâfuck," he's cut you off mid-sentence, pulling the neckline of your top down until your breasts are free, nipples already pebbling in the cool air. Eddie pinches one of them in between two fingers, the metal of his rings biting at the other until you gasp.
"Yeah?" he repeats, harder this time, the word mumbled into your tits. Eddie's smothering himself, licking and kissing and teething his way as he moves to replace one of his hands with his mouth over the dark, stiff peak.
He sucks the bud between his lips, glides his tongue over the sensitive skin there. The sound of your moans fills the car, and suddenly the pressure of his cock isn't enough when there's so much fabric between you. You can't pull away, though, not with how his free arm has circled your waist, forcing the sway of your hips.
"Eddie," you call out again, but he just grunts, onto the other breast now, fucking devouring you in a way only he can.
He's not stopping, teeth scraping at your skin and his lips pursed, sucking the life out of you while his other hand pinches and flicks the other stiff bud, still damp with his spit.
It's almost frightening how close he's gotten you, and just from thisâthe movement of his hips and his worshiping mouth.
"Eddie."
There must be something different in the way you say it this time, because he listens, finally, snaking his hand down between your bodies, slipping the button on your jeans and shoving his fingers inside until they reach the apex of your aching cunt. Your vision goes foggy, on the verge of tears from the relief of something solid pressed right up against your clit.
And his mouth doesn't stray from your tits, single-minded in a way only somebody like Eddie could be, sucking at your nipples until they both shine.
His fingers curl, perfect, sitting right where you need them as you grind and grind and grind your hips, brain turning to jelly with the way he's making you feel.
You feel Eddie's teeth bite a perfect circle on the inside of your breast, and that's what pulls you under.
You're practically screaming, and Eddie still won't stop, letting you ride out the perfect feeling of him, maybe hoping you'll remember this moment the next time Steve sees you. Just the idea of meeting up with your friends again after this has you flushing so deep you think you might combust right here.
The sparks fade slowly, your pussy still shaking and empty, wet enough you're sure you've soaked Eddie's fingers and he finally relents, his plump, pink lips tracing your collar bones, stopping at the edge of your jaw. He takes the delicate skin their between his teeth and sucks, hard.
That jolts you from your stupor. You press his head back, one hand on his forehead so you can make him look you in the eyes.
"Heyâthat's gonna bruise."
You're scolding has no effect; Eddie's on a different plane now, cocky from making you cum so easily and still a little peeved from earlier, pressing past your hold on him until he can reattach himself to your neck.
"Not sorry," he tells you, marking you up between staccato shifts of his hips, "wanna make sure everybody knows you're mine."
It's impenetrable logicâyou couldn't argue with him if you wanted to, and you really, really don't want to when he makes his way to your mouth, kissing you, his tongue against yours and his hot, heavy breaths, one hand balled in the fabric of your tank top at the middle of your back.
"Turn around," he tells you, guiding you into compliance with his hands at your waist, and it makes you dizzy, feeling like you'd end up on the ceiling if Eddie didn't keep his grip on you, pulling you tight against him until your back meets his chest.
Itâs like he's touching you everywhere, hands on your hips and your tits and pushing your hair up off your neckâlooking for more skin that he hasn't painted yetâso you're not prepared when the chair falls back, left breathless and unmoored, staring at the stained upholstery on the roof of Eddie's van.
"You good?" Eddie asks in response to the gasp you let out, urging your hips into the air as he tugs your jeans and your underwear down around your thighs.
You just nod, too desperate for any explanation, to say anything at all. Eddie's turned you stupid, has you whining into his neck when you lean your head back on his shoulder, looking up at his jaw with wild, tear-filled eyes.
"Gonna ruin you for anybody else, sweetheart," he tells you over the sound of his jangling belt, his hot cock pressed against your back. "Gonna make sure you never leave me."
You nod, fucking rabid when he shifts and you can finally feel the fat tip of his dick at your entrance, smearing the first taste of his cum over your lips.
"Nobody else, Eddie," you promise him, "just you."
Eddie takes his cock in his hand, teasing it over your pussy, nudging it against your clit until you jump in his arms. He grips tighter at your waist, holding you just under your tits to keep you still.
"Promise?" he asks.
The tears that slip down your cheeks and onto his neck must be answer enough, because Eddie slides inside you, just the tip, and the relief at even this small feeling of fullness has you crying out.
Eddie's thrusts are methodical and relentless, slow at first, but they build quickly, his hips slamming into you, his grunts from exertion and from pleasure low in your ear. And you're moaning, too, like putty against him, totally enraptured as you watch the muscles in his jaw flex, beads of sweat collecting at his hairline.
He keeps hitting this spot inside you, has you full to the brim, and you're so wet you half-wonder if your pussy juice is soaking into the seat.
It feels like the van is rocking with the force of his thrusts, steam collecting around the edges of the windows from your shared breaths. Itâs obscene how in to this you are, how loud it sounds, the wet squelch of your poor cunt echoing around the interior of his van.
"You're gonna cum for me, baby," he tells you, "wanna feel you squeezing my cock."
Four of his fingers meet at the top of your thighs, rubbing steady circles over your clit. You think you might be screaming.
Eddie has you cumming like you're being raptured, twitching in his lap, tits bouncing as he fucks into you, deeper than before until your vision blacks out and you can't see or feel or think of anything but perfect Eddie Munson and his perfect fucking cock.
It's dark when you come to. Maybe he fucked you blind.
Your vision returns, though, just in time. Eddie's chest heaves beneath you, and he pulls out with a grunt, his cum and yours dripping down your thighs in a sight so lurid it's got you flushing down to your neck.
That's definitely going to stain the upholstery.
Eddie doesn't seem to care, stroking his heavy hands over your thighs, pulling your clothes back into placeâgentle where they had been rough, his mouth dotting soft kisses against the back of your spine.
Eddie shifts you around in his lap, let's his big eyes find yours. Your fingers twine with his, and he laughs a little when you kiss at his knuckles.
"You know," Eddie says, cheeks pink and a stupid smile on his face, "now that I think about it, Dirty Dancing might be my new favorite movie. I mean, who doesnât love Patrick Swayze?"
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things fanfic#my writing
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liberating myself by posting things so late at night like lol. these are my secret posts except they're not secret
#rando thoughtz#idk theres just some things i make that i want to have on my accounts#but also i know they will flop or i just dont want the post to blow up#so i just purposely post them at the worst times so i dont bother with trying to get user engagement with my stuff or whatever#also love the reblog privileges toggle for similiar reasons#though sometimes i still get BRO WHY DID U TURN OF RBS THIS IS COOL#its an unfinished vid and i dont want that to be the version of the project that spreads in case i ever do finish it <3#i typically do just use that rb toggle for things that are unfinished really#and also posts that would be weird to rb bc they required so much context#or just a degree too personal to apply to anyone else who sees it off my blog#NOT. THAT IT STOPS PPL FROM RBING POSTS LIKE THAT WHEN I THINK#''nah i dont need to turn off rbs for this im sure nobodys a weird enough to rb it anyway'' and then im proven fucking wrong#otherwise late time posting is my secret posting hours#so i dont have to feel self conscious abt posting my weirder(?) work or feel obligated to be ''marketable'' for engagement & shit like that
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take my heart and start a fire
»» ââââââàźàč አàčàź ââââââ ««
pairing || bucky barnes x f!reader
word count || 4566
summary || sam and nat play cupid
warnings || smut! dom! bucky x sub! reader, one bed trope, enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, degradation, teasing, dry-humping, daddy kink, pussy slaps, dacryphilia, begging, asphyxiation, unprotected sex, aftercare
author's note || 18+ ONLY. hello, one-bed trope with bucky lives in my mind rent free and i decided to do something about it. enjoy! not proof-read yet. feel free to comment, reblog, and send me requests!
»» ââââââàźàč አàčàź ââââââ ««
âAlright, we got two rooms, one with just one bed and one with two beds. Should be enough to cover us tonight.â Sam claps his hands together as Bucky slowly walks up to the group.Â
This was supposed to be a quick in-and-out mission. It was not easy by any means, but it was nothing the group hadnât done before. You werenât even supposed to be here. Usually, you did most of SHIELDâs groundwork, directing and organizing missions alongside Maria. However, due to issues with communication with one particular agent in the previous mission, Fury had instructed you to be on-site to ensure there would be no gaps in the instructions Maria and Steve were relaying.Â
Except there was a gap. There was a gigantic gap in communication when you instructed Bucky to cover the cargo trailers in the westbound direction. Still, he decided you were wasting his time, so he left the trailers unattended, where the enemy was then able to take advantage of his isolation and overpower him. Had Natasha not interfered when she did, you did not even want to think about what could have happened. So you let him know just how pissed off you were the whole ride to the nearest motel since the world decided to unleash torrential rain at this very moment which made it impossible for you guys to navigate the jet out of whatever fucking city you were in.Â
Bucky didnât say a single word. Not when you were yelling at him while patching him up. Not when you wouldn't shut the fuck up because he never fucking listened. Not when you were running into the beat-down motel with its flickering sign on its last life while still screaming at him.Â
He just stared at you. And he occasionally clenched his jaw.Â
This wasnât the first time Bucky disobeyed your direct order and it wasnât the first time he got hurt because of that. You understood him, tried to initiate kindness, and extended a friendly hand toward him. But all he ever did was stare at you. He never spoke to you more than he absolutely needed to. He never paid any attention to you when you would hang out with Steve, Sam, or even Nat and Wanda. And it did sting you just a bit. A pang in your heart every time he walked past you like you didnât exist because you had developed a crush on him since the first time you saw him a few months ago. When you would put a little extra effort into your appearance every morning because he made you feel little butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach every time you would even cross paths.Â
When you did catch him staring at you, the weight of his eyes unmistakable, your heart rate would increase to match the flutters in your stomach, your cheeks heating under his gaze. He would look away immediately as if thrown out of his trance and catapulted into what he truly felt for you.
Disdain. Disgust. Maybe a little lust.Â
God, you hated Bucky Barnes. You hated how you didnât hate him, not even when he dismissed you somehow even more than he ignored everyone else.Â
You were going to share a bed with Nat. Bucky and Sam could get the room with two beds because, of course, that was a reasonable conclusion.Â
Apparently fucking not.
âI am not sharing a bed with him!â you screeched at Sam and Nat indignantly while the smug pair stood with faux innocent expressions. They needed you and Bucky to sort out whatever tension was between them by any means necessary.
They stayed silent, and you, ever the chatterbox today, decided to refuse. âNat, I canât sleep in the same room as him. He hates me! I canât sleep when Iâm stressed!â You whined, pleading with your best friend to take some pity on you. She knew better than anyone what you felt for Bucky, and she also knew love better than anyone when she saw it.Â
Sam and Bucky walked a few steps ahead as you approached your door.Â
âSweetie, you and me are the only ones keeping up comms with Steve and Maria. It makes sense for us to be split up tonight so we can at least direct these morons at the same time and handle any issues faster than weâd be able to if we shared a room and they were in the other one.â Natasha knew she was right, and Sam fought back a smirk as their plan was falling into fruition, given the look on your face.
Bucky remained quiet as if he could not possibly care less if you slept on top of him in bed or a ditch.
You were this close to wishing the latter was your inevitable fate.Â
âI hate it when youâre right.â As you approach the doors, you mutter and watch Sam take out the room keys.
Sam offers a small smile as Bucky walks in before you, patting you on the head and giving you a forehead kiss, âsweet dreams, pumpkin,â before shutting the door behind you as you roll your eyes.
âIâm not sleeping on the floor.â Buckyâs voice cut through the uncomfortable silence that had fallen after the lock clicked. His voice was raspy because he hadnât used it in a while, and you barely held back the shiver that ran down your spine at his tone.Â
You take one look at the fraying carpet and decide that it has been years since this floor had some TLC. You look up at him to find his heavy-set eyes already on you, âIâm not sleeping on the floor either.âÂ
His jaw clenches, and another unreadable emotion swirls in his eyes as he replies, âGuess that settles it, then.âÂ
You roll your eyes and huff out that youâre jumping in the shower, not waiting for his reply- not that there was one. The water takes a while to warm up, and in the meantime, you peel your clothes off of yourself, dirtied by rainwater and the dirt, debris, and sweat that had accumulated earlier. You step into the shower and try to enjoy the feel of warm water cascading over your sore body.Â
You rarely made it onto the field as you genuinely preferred doing the background work, planning missions, writing up plans and procedures, assigning responsibilities to each Avenger and guiding them through the field while you stayed at the headquarters. Your muscles were undoubtedly aware of that fact, as you had to do a lot more hand-to-hand combat due to Buckyâs stupid mistake.
You couldnât help but let your mind wander towards him, knowing you were completely bare just 10 feet away from him, how he would grunt in exertion and deliver calculated blows to his opponent. He was precisely your type: tall, brooding, broad shoulders, thick thighs. He didnât speak that much, but his words were carefully weighed every time he did. He was so grumpy all the time, such a masculine man. You just loved it.Â
You tried not to think about how he didnât feel the same. And also about the fact that you would be sharing a bed with him.Â
The water grew cold, and you realized you had been in the shower for upwards of twenty minutes. You shut off the water and wrap yourself in one of the towels provided by the hotel. You pulled out your pyjama set since there was a possibility that you would have to stay somewhere tonight due to the heavy rain. You didnât think you were sleeping with Bucky, or you would have grabbed something a bit more conservative. You slip into the white tank top and shorts with a dainty floral design. You mentally prepared yourself to make a bee-line for the bed so you wouldnât have to face Bucky while wearing next to nothing.Â
A few feet away, Bucky was scrolling through the shitty channels playing on the shitty TV, ignoring the way his heart raced when the bathroom door unlocked and you emerged from the small room. He tried so hard not to stare at your outfit, unable to ignore the way all the blood in his body rushed to his dick when your tiny shorts rolled up even higher as you innocently bent over to check over your work laptop for any updates.Â
âYou really gonna wear that?â He scoffs and immediately realizes it didnât exactly come out as playful as he would have liked. He winces at himself as you put the laptop back into its case and turn around to face him, and he can't stop himself from quickly glancing over your body.Â
Crossing your arms under your chest, unintentionally drawing his attention to your tits, you scoff at him. âIf I knew I was gonna be stuck in this shithole with you, then I would have made sure to wear a fucking hazmat suit.âÂ
âRelax, sweetheart, Iâm not gonna bite.â He smirked, finally deciding on a channel he liked and turning his attention to it as you stood and stared at him, mouth open because out of all the things you expected him to say, that was not one of them, especially not with the flirtatious lilt to his voice.Â
âDo not- do not tell me to relax! And donât call me that! And- and ugh!â You retort weakly, strutting the few steps it took to get to the other side of the bed,Â
Bucky licks his lips as you lay down next to him with your back towards him. Still huffing and puffing like the brat you were.Â
He snorts at you, glancing at his watch and turning the TV off.Â
âDo not snort at me, James.â Your voice comes out sharp, and he snorts again.Â
âTell me again what I canât do, sweetheart? " he asks in a mockingly sweet voice. It makes you sick to your stomach.
 With desire.
You ignore him and tug the small comforter towards you, the bed suddenly feeling really small, with Buckyâs large frame taking up more than half of it.Â
âQuit stealing the covers.â He grunts out, tugging them back towards him and leaving you bare and exposed to the cool air of the room. You gasp and sit up., using all your force to pull the covers back towards you, and even though you both know he let go, you still stick your tongue out at him.Â
He grumbles something under his breath, and you smile victoriously. Youâll let the covers go eventually; you need to bask in your victory for a few minutes. Your mind begins to relax as you snuggle into the bed before you hear a sharp exhale, and somehow, you go from facing the dim wall to being pinned under Bucky. His frame entirely dwarfs yours, and the only light filtering in the room was the street lights and moon, the thin curtains doing nothing to block the shine. You shriek as youâre manhandled so quickly and forced to look into Buckyâs now dark blue eyes.
âEnough. Iâve had enough.â He growls, his hand pinning both your wrists down, and you have to fight yourself to keep in all tells of how aroused you are by the situation.Â
âYouâre such a fucking brat,â he continues. âDidnât shut up for two hours straight. Always think youâre right. Always act like youâre smarter than everyone. Always fucking teasing me with your slutty fucking outfits.â He looks down at your tank top, almost angry when he sees your nipples poking through the thin material, but he doesnât give you a chance to say anything.
Because now, Buckyâs talking. And heâs going to make sure you hear each and every word.Â
âYou think I donât see the way you look at me?âÂ
A squeak escapes your lips as he presses his body down on yours.
âYou think I canât hear the way your heart rate picks up when Iâm around?â His head drops lower, and his voice drops even lower, pulling a whimper from your parted lips. Your mind is spinning as you realize you may not have been as discreet as you thought you were. You entirely forgot to consider the fact that Bucky is a supersoldier, with enhanced hearing.
His rumbling voice cuts through your flurry of thoughts, âYou think I canât fucking smell you?â He practically sneers at you, and you must be a sick, sick person with the way youâre sure youâve never been more wet in your life. âYou think I canât smell the way you drip from this little pussy every time I walk in the room? Every time someone mentions my goddamn name? I can smell her right now sweetheart. You like me forcing you down donât you?â His breath fans over your face as youâre forced to focus on him, his body and his scent and his voice overwhelming you. Your body shudders when he gently rocks his crotch against yours, your eyes rolling back into your head.Â
âWhat baby? Cat got your tongue now? You were being such a brat to me earlier.â He grunts, squeezing your cheeks and jaw in his free hand as you subconsciously buck your hips against his.Â
âBucky pleaseâŠâ You whine, squirming against his impenetrable hold.Â
He smirks, âwhatâs wrong honey? You havenât been this quiet or polite all day.â
âYou- youâre being such a meanie! You knew the whole time and just never did anything about it!â You whine, your voice catching in your throat with each languid rock of his crotch angled perfectly against your clit.Â
He laughs in your face and takes in the sight before him, your head thrown to the side as your chest heaves, your hips moving in tandem with his, your pouted lips swollen from being bitten so often. You were even more gorgeous like this and Bucky didnât know that was possible.
âI wanted to see if youâd break first. But then, you just had to walk in here wearing this pathetic excuse of a pyjama set. And I just had to have you honey baby.â
You look back at him, a fiery expression in your eyes, âI donât think thatâs the real reason. I think you just wouldnât be able to handle me. I think you canât fuck me the way I need to be.â You spit back, not wanting to submit without a fight despite knowing that was exactly the direction this was going.Â
In an instant Buckyâs metal hand was on your throat, squeezing enough to make your eyes blur for a second as you let out a whimper. âIs that right honey? You think Iâve never dealt with a rotten brat like you before? I know you pretend to put up a fight, I know youâre two strokes away from cumming all over yourself just from a little dry-humping. I know brats like you crave attention, but baby when you finally get it you better not run away? You got that?â He asks earnestly, his eyes locking on yours.Â
âDo your worst James.âÂ
The second the words leave your mouth, his lips are on yours. The kiss is unlike any youâve had before, itâs immediately messy and passionate, his tongue sliding in yours as he takes the lead, swallowing all your mewls and whimpers, finally letting go of your wrists and your fingers immediately go to his cropped hair, tugging on the short strands as he dominates you. You scramble to pull your shorts down but his hands flick your wrists away, giving you a glare.
âDid I say you could take these off, huh slut?âÂ
You whimper and shake your head no, finding yourself wanting to submit to him all too quickly.
He slides his briefs down to reveal his cock. You actually drooled a little at the sight of his length and girth, with beads of pre-cum glistening in the dim light of the room. You canât control yourself as your hands go to wrap around his length, barely able to hold him in your hands as he hisses, bucking his hips into your hands before swatting them away once again.
âYou donât get to touch honey baby. Not yet at least. You yelled at me for hours today, it really hurt my feelings you know.â He muses, beginning to rub his length against your white shorts that are completely drenched through, your pussy sensitive and responsive. âI donât think you deserve to be fucked sweetheart. You deserve to have this cunt rubbed on and came on. Just used like a cum rag.â He goes a little further, reading your reaction and when your back arches as much as his beefy body allowed you to, he knows you liked it.Â
âPlease James please Iâm sorry, Iâll be good I swear!â You whine, your voice rising in pitch as his bare cock slides up and down the length of your pussy, and even through the layer seperating you, it was euphoric.
âI dunno honey, might have to beg and cry a little more and Iâll see how nice Iâm feelinâ tonight.â He smiles cockily, knowing heâs got you exactly where he wants you. Almost instantly your eyes are watering as you clutch his biceps, morphing your features into big doe eyes and pouted lips, jutting your chest out in an attempt to persuade him further. âIâm sorry for beinâ a brat and yelling at you. Iâm sorry for talking back and- and I need you James. Need you to fuck me please I wanted it for so long!â You drag your sentence and bite your lip, tears spiling onto your cheeks.Â
He inhales sharply at the sound of your begging, stilling his hips for a moment as he restrains himself from cumming before heâs even seen your bare pussy. And in the next second he ripping your shorts to shreds, making you shriek and you canât even get a reaction out before he spits onto your already soaked cunt, watching his spit mingle with your own arousal. You moan at the feeling, your hold twitching and practically begging to be filled.Â
Bucky breathes in your scent since it envelopes his nostrils without any restrictions for the first time. When he opens his eyes again and sees your hazy expression he decides he canât wait. Heâs not gonna take it slow because he needs to feel you clench around him right now. His flesh index finger teases your pulsing hole, shoving the tip of his finger inside you as you whine, legs spreading for him on instinct. âFuck sheâs just begging to be stuffed isnât she? Just aching to have my cock stretch her open.â He groans, dropping his forehead to yours as you chant breathy yesâs, mouth falling open and tears continuing down your face as he finally spreads you open on his cock.Â
You have never felt so full in your life. Bucky was absolutely larger than average, in all ways. And it was exactly what you had been craving. He moans as you clench around him, your hole trying to push him out but pull him in at the same time. Before you know it heâs balls deep inside of you, your cream coating the hairs at the base of his length as you moan loudly, uncaring of the fact that Sam and Natasha were just a paper-thin wall away.
Your nails dug crescents into Buckys bulging biceps as he allowed you both a few moments to adjust to each other. âOh my god Bucky youâre so- Iâm so full.â Your words are breathy and slurred, and Bucky presses a kiss to each of your cheeks as he slowly grinds his hips into yours, not fully thrusting yet.Â
âYou know I want this to be more than just a quick fuck. When we get back I wanna take you out, wine and dine you properly.â He whispers against your lips, his hands and voice gentle compared to his earlier disposition.Â
You nod your head in agreement, âI want that too Bucky, but I need you to fuck me right now.âÂ
He laughs, pressing a kiss to your cheek before pulling almost entirely out of you, allowing your hole to stretch around his tip before he slams into you, making your back arch and all the breath from your lungs dissipates. You squeal his name as he begins fucking into you with little care to be gentle. Your hands scramble to hold on as the headboard slams into the wall with every push and pull of his hips.
âI thought you said I couldnât handle you honey baby. But look at you now, so stupid on my dick and just taking what I give you.â He mocks you, his metal hand finding its way to your throat once again and squeezing, relishing in the way you cunt clenches against him when he does. You cry out louder than before and he hisses, slapping his palm over your mouth. He grunts through clenched teeth, âshut the fuck up. You want Sam and Nat to hear you crying for my dick huh? What would they say if they saw strong and independent you, stretched open and cock-drunk, pinned under me and crying for me?â
Your eyes clench shut as your words are unintelligible and muffled by his palm. He coos at you and clicks his tongue, making you shiver. âDonât think too much honey baby, just take it. This is what youâre meant to do, not be a brat. Just take my cock.â He groans, speeding up his thrusts as the sound of skin slapping skin and your wetness squelching fill the room.Â
Your chest begins heaving as the oxygen to your brain takes more effort to get there. You were being propelled to your orgasm as you begin chanting the fact, your voice so pornographic and unlike your own but you canât even find it in yourself to be shocked.
ââM gonna cum, m gonna cum! Youâre gonna make me cum please Daddy please!â The words leave your lips faster than you can process, and what was about to erupt into the most powerful orgasm you have ever had, was left denied and unsatisfied and you cried out, beginning your protests when Bucky flipped you around, your back to his chest as he shoved himself back inside of you. He pulled you up by your hair and brought his lips to your ears, his cock hitting an even deeper angle as you struggled to keep up.
âWhat did you call me?â He growls, not letting up his thrusts but expecting you to answer.
Your brain struggles to process his words, but once you do youâre quick to realize you let the word you often used in your fantasies about Bucky slip. You immediately apologize, thinking he must be off-put by your lewdness.Â
He cuts your scrambled apologies off with his heavy voice, âsay it again. Thatâs what youâve been really dying to call me isnât it. Just needed Daddy to take what he needed from you didnât you?â
âOh fuck.â Your head falls against his chest as he wraps his bicep around your throat, forcing you upright, âyes Daddy, needed my Daddy to take care of me.â You slur out, Your hands clutching his bicep as his metal fingers begin playing expertly with your throbbing clit.Â
âThatâs right slut, Iâm your Daddy. Iâm your fucking Daddy.â He impales you on his dick, his cock reaching all the rights spots as your brain truly begins to leave you, all you can do is succumb to the pleasure Bucky is inflicting on you. Your pussy clenches harder than it has before as your orgasm builds in the pit of your stomach, you try to run from it but Buckyâs strong hold doesnât allow you to move even a slither away.Â
âOh what does this little pussy clenching mean huh? Tell Daddy baby, tell Daddy what it means when I feel you clench around my cock huh? You gonna cum? Gonna make a mess all over yourself like the stupid little toy you are?â His voice is breathless in your ear as he nears his own high, your body shaking as your high begins building to impossible heights.Â
You slur out something that resembles his title and an exclamation that youâre gonna cum, and his metal hand slaps your clit once, and then twice, his gravelly voice in your ear degrading you, and your high explodes from your body. You feel it everywhere as you donât register anything except for pleasure. Pleasure like youâve never felt before. Bucky drops his forehead to your shoulder, muttering your name through clenched teeth as he calls you a good girl, before stuffing you full of his cum. Thick white ropes paint your swollen walls and it only amplifies your high as you struggle to breathe, your mind and body overwhelmed and overstimulated as Bucky pumps you full of his cum.Â
He gently lets you down and your limp body manages to cling onto him, needing to feel him close to you as you reel from your explosive orgasm. He shushes you, kissing your forehead, cooing at you, praising you. Everything you need to avoid experiencing a negative subdrop since he did just put you into such a submissive mindset.Â
It takes a couple minutes of his tender words and touches for you to come back to yourself, and when you do he smiles sweetly at you. Pulling out of you and shushing your whines, as he reaches over to his nightstand where there were a few clean hand towels, and he cleans you up, mindful of your sensitivity and he places a kiss right above your clit, his beard scratching the sensitive button making you shudder and mewl.Â
He wraps you up in his arms and pulling you closer, nuzzling your cheek with his nose as you blink at him.Â
âI was being serious you know, I donât want this to be a one and done thing. I wanna be yours, if youâll have me.â He adds, his voice trailing off and you put your hand on his stubbled cheek before pressing your lips to his.Â
âThatâs all Iâve wanted since I first saw you.â You say softly, basking in being so close to him and having all his attention on you.Â
He smiles brightly, pressing his lips to yours with more fervour and flutters in his heart. âYouâre mine now sweetie, stuck with me forever. No return policy.â He teases.Â
âI think youâre the one whoâs stuck with me after you just dicked me down like that. No way am I getting rid of you.â You mumble sleepily, clinging to him as he smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead and watching you slip into a dreamland state.
For the first time in years, Bucky sleeps a full eight hours. And he wakes up with you by his side.
---------
The next morning, when itâs 9 AM, and you waddle onto the jet, Bucky tailing close behind you, a hand on your back to support your weight, Natasha and Sam share knowing looks, and Sam quickly texts Steve and Tony. He let them know they were on their way, and they owed him and Nat 100 bucks because their plan worked.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes x yn#bucky barnes fanfiction
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