#theres this sort of manic personality that always worms its way onto the personality of my ocs and they all feel too similar | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dexaroth · 1 month ago

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licherally how it feels to read the deconstruction of a story and everyone speaking so eloquently about character motivations and the way they act and talk and the whys of that and the bunch of details that lead to those conclusions meanwhile i can barely scrape a personality for my ocs

#reblogging a bunch of d:bh posts on my sideblog and realizing just how little i know of it compared to everyone else #and things in general. ngl i feel dumb! and embarassed! im stupid as shit man!#how am i supposed to have ocs if i cant even read a character any deeper than superficial things #well i guess i can read like a Smidge under the surface bc im not those people who see connor as a clueless bimbo or whatever #but like damn. i know so little about things.. and im so conflicted too.. like.#theres this sort of manic personality that always worms its way onto the personality of my ocs and they all feel too similar #but it also helps that i Still havent managed to write a world that i like either. it really doesnt help! people are a product of their>#>reality! and its like Wow. i really have fucking nothing to go off of huh. sigh...#i know its impossible to know how bad the writing is bc i didnt post or chat about it but. i feel like im trying to bite more thani can che #man i think i finally found the anti-hobby. i think i really lack everything you need to make good characters/worlds/stories #like knowing different people/diff perspectives. having watched/read other stories to learn from. i lack it all!#so much of what i want to do falls back into boring magic tropes. i think if anyone ever sees my vision im gonna be shot for being pathetic #^that someone is probably me as well but thats besides the point #dextxt #but also funny part of getting into d:bh and the fan-readings is that it helped to realize how bad the writing is lol #its not.. it doesnt seem to be terrible. but there are many flaws. and there are smarter people than me pointing them out all the time #like damn! if even so many games cant make a good story what is a nobody like me even gonna do! girl help im dying here!!

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