#fuck my baka life this month is so MEAN TO ME

[xxplastic-cubexx]

That comic is humor perfected! The beats are so well timed!

Also we all know some of Erik’s things are still scattered around the mansion. He never truly moves out.(and no matter how bad the fight, Charles keeps it all)

Thank you so much !!!! It might be a weird concern to have, but im always worried i pace/time things in my comics weird/inefficiently, so its a big compliment to hear everythin hit well with the last one :]] !!!!

[dyketennant]

i wrote the most fire start to a fic last night. but now i have to actually write the rest of it and i forgot writing smut is really fucking hard. also i don't even have time to because i have to finish this homework assignment AND i need to have this entire fucking show brochure done before tomorrow (which i will probably have to spend tomorrow correcting because the director probably will not like it. because why would he let a woman do something for him without him there to micromanage)

[labetalol]

can SOMEONE please tell me how to move PAST it. mac voice just move past it. i need to move past it

[kuriboo]

nice to see potentially triggering content on the internet and not really feel much about it. i mean that genuinely. there is no good reason for this content to be potentially triggering outside of me being really salty. i don't want to be salty. the content and its creator are innocent of crimes in this context. it's good to go 'oh it's that person's art' instead of 'this person's art reminds me of this other person that hurt me very badly so seeing this art puts me in a lot of pain even though this person did me no wrong'

thinking more about the fact that i had to do my stupid monthly injection i was supposed to stop like two months ago again today. and that this was 12 hours ago or so and it still kinda hurts. insurance approved my new non injection medication that i'm supposed to switch to almost a month ago where's my damn new meds. i'm calling tomorrow

fuck this stupid baka life. it'd be easier not to exist but giving that thought room to grow is bad for the mental health so instead i'm gonna eat some oreos. by some i mean 2. i'm a person who is allowed to exist and take up space in people's lives and eat some damn oreos. i'm going to sit here and not think about every possible way i could be a bad person. instead i will eat these oreos and go wow these oreos are good i deserve these i'm glad i'm here to eat them.

[crows-of-buckets]

And I wanna play a more religious Lavellan... Selene is heavily andrastian (she has a weird relationship with the chantry but yk) and I want to play a Lavellan who loves their gods so much. Because I feel it would slot into this worldstate sm more ughhh

Chat it's sooo over for me got hit by the overwhelming need to make Josephine my canon love interest for my canon worldstate which would mean making a whole new Inquisitor hnnnggg

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

venting rq because I am sussy baka (GRAPHIC DESIGN ADVICE PRESENT)

I dont even know where to start I will just say I am uselesss and a lazy mooch just like my father. no im not doing well rn it's really up to me not to abuse substances and or myself rn. ooouffff... I hate it when things are my fault and I also hate it when things happen that weren't my fault but I have accidentally conditioned myself to always blame myself whether its really my fault or not.

GRAPHIC DESIGN ADVICE:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER WORK FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes even your bf, even your family member. maybe a discount if its a bf and they already spend money on you especially if you helped make the name...

ok yeah so the story goes like this: I date my bf and we come up with a name, I get passionate about the idea and want it to be perfect so I spend MONTHS trying to clean my room while completely jobless.

I didnt get jobs yet because I wanted to have time to make the logo and not be stressed by lack of time. but my room wasnt getting clean. I tried and tried every day and all I got done was not dying and eating something because I take fuckig forever.

so yeah not even touched the logo because I had to first, make the room workable, I cannot work in the mess for more than a few minutes without putting myself in danger because the clothes are all over the floor, im trying too hard to explain everything about myself to avoid guilt again lmfaooooooooooo

but yeah second, I get to the logo, and then I get a job. that was the order, it was 1. clean my room 2. make my logo 3. get a job

so that way after room is clean, making logo not stressful especially with no job time constraints. and then getting a job was supposed to come after my logo was done and printed.

womp womp here comes the reality train. my student loans now have to be paid off. I made the first payment last month. imma mooch off my dad for this month but im gonna get an online part time job.

so for the logo, that means THEY GET SHIT. THEY GET SHIT. IM NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR IT BECAUSE oohhh he already spent money on me THAT'S A GIVEN, I AM PROVIDING ANOTHER SERVEICE I HAVE TO AT LEAST GET SOMETHING.

im mostly mad at myself for being unemployed all these months. for that one. fucking. logo. they're acting mad that my logo isnt done but this is what you fucjing get for free service. but I cant even blame them because I said it would be free.

I need to be muzzled and tied up somewhere im going insane

all im really saying is. the free time does not make that much of a difference, especially with mental illness. the fear of burnout was really bad and prevented me from working. I didnt want to overwork myself again with a job and a logo and trying to clean my room at the same time. but that's life sometimes and it really fucking sucks sometimes. I bet people from Gaza are reading this like "wtf is this bitch on??? she's living the life and she's complaining??? oh my gosh"

I dont even r3ememebr what else I needed to mention.

I'll just pretend im dead all day while I make their stupid FUCKING logo. that I should've nEEEVER signed up for. but I cant let it go because I helped with the name and it feels like an insult for some ai generated logo to take my place. yeah they were just openly talking about ai last night after asking me about the logo. yeah I'll show you "fucking useless"

I will fucking show you all

[vampatty]

why does november literally always have to smack me in the face without fail like i swear to god if i'm not so depressed i can barely move or under extreme emotional duress then i'm having weeks long flare ups or my sleep is unfathomably bad to the point of making my chronic headaches come back and my autonomic issues so much worse. and while i'm at it FUCK this time change specifically this year because my new heart medicine causes temporary visual brightness esp w regards to sudden light changes so that + my already severe sensory sensitivity to light means i straight up cannot drive safely at night until it wears off which in turn means i can't fucking leave my house by myself after like 5:30 for however long it takes to go back to normal bc i live in an area w piss poor public transportation and my family and friends are all 45 minutes away by terrible terrible deer filled highway. all this to say fuck my stupid baka life this is literally my birthday month

[benefits1986]

Steady Small Streaks & Strikes

Alliteration and allusion FTW x WTF... now and then.

This week came with overthinking and being unfuckable with. Lala 'di ba? Saltik szn is on talaga, but in the name of being gentle but firm, let me list down the wins and losses that would remind me that, while malayo pa, malayo na rin naman.

Reclaiming my space after taking a solid step to address a trauma that I choose to bury deep in my closet.

Being able to sleep sa car on the way home means bumababa na nga ang adrenaline + fight, fight, fight mode ko. Also, sleeping well after so many months of having UGH sleep na 3 hours lang, mostly. Partida, kanina, I vaped pa right before dozing off. Nicotine keeps you up all night daw, but not kanina, Satan. :D

Praying passionately while my chest is pounding mala-180 KPH sa SLEX or Skyway levels for the things I need and want even if I hate a good number of those.

Syempre, Ateneo UP game. Sabi ko pa talaga, okay, malabo na 'to kasi nga malala din ang performance nila in 10 years. But, hey! That 1% chance of winning is still a probability. Lakas neto maka-good vibes kasi miss ko na talaga ex-team members na kasama ko sa silent battles ko kahit sobrang guarded ng emotions ko lalo noon.

Maroon-blue drip for a big meeting na bawat slide and pakikisuyo e dasal lang talaga ang kasama ko. HAHAHHAHA. And sabi is for the first time in forever, kalmado at excited ang vibes. HUHUHUHUHUHUHU. Para kasi akong nanood ng Netflix na literal na I'm on my toes. Pero, natawid. TYL. As in. Saka I know, this is the start of something worthwhile, collaboration from kaibuturan speaking.

Align-meant with mother dragon after avoiding this for a long, long time. Shemay. While mom is top tier in my terror list, this time around, the terror is transforming to distilled love from above. HUY.

Appreciating Taylor Swift apart from Beyonce, Alicia Keys, India Arie and Alanis Morissette. My soul sis is my go-to in every song, every line that hits home and hits hard. Syempre, rekta Reputation tayo pero may halong Midnights din. LUH. Hahahahaha. Ganda ng tunog e.

While work is so crazy, truth is that it is my first time to let my guards down sa lagay na 'to. 'Di ko siya expected kasi sa akin, trabaho lang talaga lahat, walang personalan. While I have a really distinct work persona, I'm trying my best to make amends with my non-negotiable bits and pieces. Probably, eto 'yung universe telling me, okay, ex-workaholic, since 'di ka naman din yata mapipigilan, sige, test natin if you can allow yourself to fuck off mga trusted trust issues mo. LECHE. Hahahahaha. Eto na nga po.

Seeing green and growing KPIs na talaga namang pong matindihan ang BTS and internal bugbog ng inner child ko. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Shemay. Wala e, siguro dala talaga ito ng start up life ko and my scarlet sins na on atonement.

Kasya na ulit 'yung Uniqlo burgundy pants na gamit ko sa Japan nung 2020. HIHIHIHIHIHI. Gulat ako ihhh. As in before going to the office, damn. Ready na nga akong mag-Japan. Also, super love my travel buddies talaga. Sabi nung isa, may pa-novena x daily devotion pa sila ni hubby niya para makasama na talaga ako.

Divine intervention talaga kasi nakita ko calendar ng ganaps sa opis sa meeting. It's giving... Ateneo season 86 na ang lala ng standing, pero pasok pa rin sa finals. SHET. Paano ko ba 'yan ma-wing? Let's see. Tapos winter pa yata 'yun. Baka final destination levels na siya kasi malamigin talaga ako BUT sure akong gusto ko ulit mag-travel kasama ng OG peeps ko. 'Pag natuloy ako sa Japan ng walang laptop and work phone, eto na talaga 'yun.

Tito Ro is keeping up with me and soul sis' pop cult indulgence. They're on a road trip and just got a KISS message. Pic ni soul sis sa Walk of Fame na merong Daniel Radcliffe mark. Sabi pa: Heard your also a fan. O 'di ba? As a legit Tito, win 'yan. Wala kasi pake masyado 'yun sa lahat ng bagay, pero anxiety and paranoia niya wagas. Hahahahahaha. Matuto kasi siya mag-Tagalog para ma-gets niya lahat ng sinasabi namin ni soul sis. Mukha naman siyang Fil-Jap e. LOL.

Second dad and I's convo are evolving. As an example, sabi ko thank you for always keeping up with my shit as I grow. Sabi naman niya: Can't take any credit... it's the inner thing and how you internalize the entire learning experience... Me: Bakit 'pag ikaw nagsabi dalisay saka ang ganda ng English? Hahahahahahahaha.

Tatay kong pakitong-kitong and I are reaching out to each other more and more. HALA. Stress pa rin siya to the point na gusto na niya akong ihatid-sundo sa BGC then bike siya and kape. LUL. Ganyan 'yan. Akala mo walang pake, pero 'pag may sunog, kahit wala siyang dalang tubig, susugod siya. Ni-hug pa ako and sabi na kaya ko na dahil anak nila ako ng nanay kong dragon. OPAK. Cringe. Hahahaha.

Chixxxx update. While I am getting bored kasi ambagal ng ganaps, I straight up asked her kung type niya ako. Sagot niya, kita kami December. HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Bakit ba kasi sobrang complicated ng mga XX? Tacca. 'Pag ako sinaltik, rektahin ko na ba 'tong si legit rare Pokemon para matapos na rin ang pago-overthink ko? Maiba naman.

Friendship bracelet from one of the juniors. Alam mo, whenever I'm in doubt, I look at it. Touch it. Reminds me of my why and why not. Kahit na 'di madali. Kahit kakatamad pumasok kaso 'yung isang junior, excited siya and mas okay naman talaga personal alignments. UGH. FUDGE. Also, Gen Zs are teaching me lessons kahit ang hassle mag-adjust ng slang and lens. Perfect combo sa convos ng boomer second dad ko.

Small talks from the kaibuturan sa mga team members within and outside my team. And actually, looking each other eye to eye. Funny how I'm able to handle a specific one-sided sigaw-sigaw session with someone who told me that I'm political and a people pleaser. HAHAHAHA. That person expected na I will fight fire with fire and bugbog abot sa akin.

True naman, gusto ko talaga siya sampalin and tuhuran right because sobrang irrelevant and out of line na 'yung sinasabi niya. BUT... in the name of dalisay season and anger management 101, sinabi ko na: I'm loyal to myself, not my team. Also, I'm but loyal to the customer, the end user. And dahil kups talaga argument niya, sinabi ko na bawat linya, bawat spiel, bawat slide, buong team ang sumuporta at lumaban. Gulat siya ihhh. Sinabi ko rin na 'di ko na 'yan para i-explain sa lahat pero, ginusto mo, so eto. Politics is not my cup of tea. Wala nga akong pake sa org chart at ratings e. HAHAHAHAHA. E 'di natahimik at kumalma. Thicccc Virgo talaga, kaya I can handle as a Taurus-Aries impostor. Yep, kwento ko 'tong Aries development as a Venn Diagram girly soon.

Ako kasi, 'pag pinasa ko na bola sa work, kahit pa overthinker ako, tinatayaan ko na 'yung pinasahan. Periodt. Ganun ako magtrabaho. Walang personalan. I will continue advocating for my team so as long as dama ko 'yung full support which is honestly fullest support sila sa akin lalo the past months. HUHUHUHUHU. Wala rin naman kasi silang choice e. Hahahahahaha. Trust issues, pasowkkk. Dali. LUH SIYA.

Soul sis reels and memes deluge na hindi na lang puro rant and shit. Sineseryoso ko 'yung boss bitch era on training wheels niya. It's me talking to my naive self in the name of 14 going 40 peg namin. LOL.

My Genats home. HUHUHUHUHU. Sobrang care kahit mga ilang buwan na akong 'di nakakadalaw. Laging may message na 'wag akong pabinat and may padala pang food. :D Cabbage rolls na 'di ko pa nga pala nakakain kasi kakatamad mag-init ng food.

Better state ng skin tumors ni Vidi. He's really getting weaker kasi nga 11 years old. Tapos, may newly opened crematory malapit sa amin. Galit na galit tatay ko kasi bakit daw ako nagse-send ng ads na ganun sa kanya. Sabi ko, para lang prepared na sa tamang panahon. Sabi, until 20 years pa raw si Vidi. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Mag-roadtrip pa raw sila sa Bats area and hybrid bike with basket. LUH.

Souvenirs ng binyag ng bunso ng kapatid ko arrived. :D Takte talaga. Pero tuhog ito sa aking project so, test market na po tayo real quick para bago naman ilabas sa niche merkado, check natin anong pulso ng madlang pipolzzz. Shemay. Wala na akong pang-Shein dahil bibili pa ako ng gatas na hypoallergenic bukas. FUDGE talaga.

Kakiligan na tahimik pero tumatagos. LUH. ULOL. Hahahaha. Iinom ko na lang ito ng malala. Lagnat laki lang yata ito. :D LUL. Kinikilig pa pala ako noh. Baka nga hindi nga ako halaman after all. Pero 'di ko pa talaga sure kasi okay naman ako now. Isa-isa lang, pero derecho lang. Weekend naaaaa!

[tetsvhoe]

AFRAID | HAIKYUU FILO SMAU

MASTERLIST | PREV | FIN.

#25 i almost love you

– oh ayan onting backstory chaka redemption arc kay aiko baka may maka relate

– omg finally chapter di ko na to hahabaan basta thank you so much for the support and the laughs! this was my first ever smau and series i hope you all enjoyed and i hope to see you in my future works!

– wag niyo kalimutan si anak ni imelda at anak ng mafia boss, ha? :(( <3

taglist | anitwt

@mirakeul @erinoikawa @haji-bby @seijohoe @szeonn @banananaa4 @stffychn @vvvselfindulgence @devilgirlcrybabiey @knmsapplepi @duhsies @littlemochi @mikeystomanjacket @noitsmrleorio @agasheeee @roanniee @softsakusas @your-girl-mj @hello0i @crustycookiebestie @shanthesamurai @naviation-xx @sciophobia @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa @bakugouswh0r3 @aizameow

iwaizumi shuts his phone off with a faint click, throws his head back against the headrest and shuts his eyes. he feels lightheaded, hands clam around his phone and the steering wheel subconsciously. was he always this nervous to talk to you? he can’t remember the last time he’s seen your face, the last time since he’s heard your voice. he misses it so much it makes his heart clench.

he lets out a long shaky breath as he wills himself to open his eyes, peer out the window. the club lights pulse faintly in the darkness of the night, he hears the faint music and clamor of club goers. the team’s last reply was from roughly an hour ago. he shivers thinking how he managed to cut the drive time in half and thanks the heavens for the mostly barren roads he drove through.

he can only imagine how everyone must be hammered by now. the “demonic hour” as they collectively dubbed 3:00am, is nearing. the demonic hour is when ushijima starts speaking in english considerably louder than his usual stern yet soft spoken voice. bokuto slouched against his seat, arms over his chest, passed out and snoring steadily. atsumu and sakusa may start swapping personalities soon, osamu and suna are talking about extraterrestrial life, and hinata is probably stumbling on the dancefloor holding in the urge to puke. iwaizumi also fondly recalls your friends, how kiyoko would be sleeping on top of the table, god forbid someone tries to wake her. alisa would be flirting with someone’s girlfriend, and tendou making everyone take “shots” of water, nearly falling off as he laughs at their muscle memory reactions as if they are still taking a slug of alcohol.

and of course, his mind wanders to you. how you slur your words and swear you’re not that drunk. you gauge each miniscule action and word carefully in an attempt to prove to everyone you’re sober, but it only gives you away so much more because you’re moving in x0.75 playback speed. he catches himself smiling at the mere thought and blushes though he’s alone in his car. the demonic hour turns you to an angel, quite ironically. you’re poutier than usual and throw a hissy fit at iwaizumi when he refuses to get you lugaw or mamiin the middle of the night out, not like he can resist your pleads for long anyway. you can’t keep up with the usual playful banter anymore and flirt terribly.

the thought of some other man finding you during your demonic hour flings iwaizumi out of the driver’s seat and he’s marching into the club before he knows it. it doesn’t take long for him to weave his way in and navigate your group, and the scene he finds is exactly as he imagines, but where are you?

“ten, ten, saan siya?” he shakes tendou into sobriety. he peers up at him with dazed eyes before grinning widely upon recognizing iwaizumi.

“oy, tangina mo! ano ginagawa mo dito?” the red head laughs. “‘di ko sure lumabas daw siya saglet.”

the rest of the group slowly registers iwaizumi’s presence, greeting him with clumsy high fives and fist bumps and “ba’t andito ka, kupal?”, “late na late na ba’t humabol ka pa?”, “akala namin di ka pwede ngayon?” and he returns each greeting half-heartedly as he constantly searches for your shadow in the crowd.

suna teases iwaizumi’s panicked state before pointing out you might have gone outside for a smoke. a sour feeling brews in his stomach; how could they have let you gone alone, why weren’t they sure where you went? but he saves the frustration in favor of finding you as soon as possible.

he all but runs outside through a back door near the bar which leads to a terrace overlooking the parking lot. his whole body stills as he sees your back turned to him, the heavy metal door creaks to a close, letting the loud pounding of the club music fade. he half expects to see you barely able to hold your weight with your own legs or with another guy, probably why he was so worked up in the first place, but you were alone. you seemed sober enough. it scared him even more.

as if feeling his presence, you look over your shoulder. iwaizumi debates turning on his heel and making a bee line for the exit, back to his car, and driving another hour or so to manila, but he’s frozen in his place.

you offer him a small smile, motioning for him to join you. “hayop ka anong ginagawa mo dito, ha? nag-drive ka pa, eh late na late na.”

iwaizumi is hit with the realization that in all that time he was driving alone with his thoughts, he didn’t even think of all the things he wanted to say to you. his head was simultaneously full and empty, there was just you.

“ikaw kasi kani-kanino ka nagpapa-picture. akala ko pag-papalit mo na ‘ko,” he manages to blurt out, yet you don’t miss the way his remark lacks the usual sass and playfulness.

“tama naman. ayoko na sa’yo eh,” you laugh, glancing over your shoulder to catch his scowl and an ad-libbed curse. your features soften when you notice the seriousness in his features as he stares into the nothingness ahead. you’re about to ask him if something was wrong when he sucks in a sharp breath.

“ako gusto ko sa’yo,” he says matter-of-factly, eyes meeting yours.

“what?” you laugh nervously, suddenly hyper aware of the way your heart hammers against your chest, of how you get a whiff of his usual perfume because you’re so close, the dark circles under his eyes, the distraught etched on his furrowed brows.

“i said i like you,” he repeats louder and firmer.

“i know what you said, i’m not sure i understand—”

“i like you, fuck i… i don’t know why it took me this long to say it to your face, but if i’m being honest, i was just afraid. i still am, but between being afraid of my own emotions and being afraid of fucking this up, i am actually quite fucking terrified of losing you more than anything else,” he rambles in one breath, words trembling but intense. it knocks the air out of your lungs, and you don’t know why tears start lining your eyes. “i might… even be falling in love with you fuck—”

“haji…” you whisper, body turning towards him like a magnet. he lets out a breath he didn’t know you were holding, oh how he missed you calling him that so soft and endearingly. “you have no idea how long i’ve waited for you to finally grow the balls to say that,” you chuckle, almost bitterly. “but i don’t know how to go about with this anymore.”

“let me set things right. i know we did things out of order, but i want to make us work,” he pleads, rough hands coming up to softly stroke your cheek with his knuckles.

your lips form a tight-lipped smile. he knows you’re about to ramble and finds it adorable. “i’m… i’m not so sure anymore, this is more complicated than i initially thought. w-what about the distance? haji, i’m not built for long distance i—”

iwaizumi grabs your wrist and pulls you against his chest. a strong arm wraps around your waist, his other hand holds the back of your head. you can feel both your hearts beating harshly against your chests, your cheeks heating up while you relish his embrace.

he places soft kisses onto your temple, whispering. “don’t worry that pretty little head of yours too much, there’s no rush. i’ll wait for you for as long as it takes. maghihintay ako.”

your eyes flutter open, light seeps through your vision and iwaizumi’s blurred figure slowly becomes clearer. he’s sat on an office chair, pulled right next to your bed. he watches over you with a soft smile.

“good morning, tomador.”

“tangina mong manyak, kanina mo pa ako pinapanood matulog?” you yawn, stretching your arms and limbs. did he not sleep at all? If he did, that shabby office chair couldn’t have been comfortable in the least. “akala ko ba babalik ka rin agad sa manila, akala ko umalis ka na kagabi.” you sit up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. the clock reads 6:07am.

iwaizumi tilts his head to the side as he eyes you, a small smile tugs at his lips while you glare at him. “cute mo pala pag bagong gising,” he remarks. “gusto ko lang siguraduhin natatandaan mo pa ‘yung kagabi.” he stands up, pushing the chair back and walks over to cup your cheeks.

“oo naman, tanga. ‘di naman ako lasing kagabi—”

“ano sinabi ko?”

you blink back, stunned. you know what he means, but suddenly can’t get the words out of your mouth.

“hm? akala ko ba natatandaan mo, anong sinabi ko sayo kagabi?” he smirks, squishing your cheeks together in his hand.

“uh… s-sabi mo ano, gusto mo ako.”

“gusto lang?”

“baka… sabi mo baka mahal mo na rin ako,” your ears burn up as the words leave your mouth, you attempt to look away but iwaizumi jerks your face to look at him smirking menacingly at your flushed state. “chaka ano pa?”

“sabi mo mag hihintay ka, ‘yan okay na! tangina mo,”you pry his hands off and attempt to close in on yourself by hiding behind the strands of hair that fall over your face.

“good girl,” he chuckles. “una na ‘ko, ha? tawagan nalang kita mamaya, tulog ka ulit maaga pa.”

you nod wordlessly, still avoiding his gaze. you watch his retreating figure, but he halts right in front of the door. he looks over his shoulder, “bye, i almost love you,” and winks.

summer didn’t last a hundred and four days, not this time. iwaizumi came to visit you a few times over the course of barely a month and a half of vacation. you managed to make it work for until then. he was even more busy tending to documents and requirements for his fourth year on top of helping his mom and grandmother, but he made time for you. he always did.

you both made adjustments to accommodate the distance. regular phone calls, curt text updates, movie marathons on discord, sometimes with your squammy group of friends. some things stayed the same, the regular cussing each other out, the snide remarks, the usual roasts. except this time, days end on an “i almost love you” note.

as you’re running late for your first day of third year, you realize barely anything has changed. and when you run out of the house, hopping on one foot as you tried to stuff the other into your shoe, you see iwaizumi parked outside of your house, leaning against his car, and twirling his keys on his finger, he manages to make your world come to a standstill once again.

“good morning, anak ng mafia boss. late na po tayo, bilisan mo na dyan.”

just like that, you’ve come full circle.

[dontsharethistoanyone]

hello, sorry. I'm didn't mean to worry you. sorry. but i'm here, dapat hindi ko sasabihin sayo to, pero syempre, life is so short. okay na rin siguro magbawas ng nararamdaman. you're the 4th person who will know this secret. if ever we met at some point, sana wag mong maalala to. why am i sharing this to you? because we don't know when will life ends. natakot na ko mas share sa mga taong matandaan, thats why i always share my problem to someone na makakalimutin, hindi ko sure kung ganon ka, pero hindi mo naman ako kilala.

to be honest, i dont know if i still need help. im just to tired ig.

this my not seem so real, ikaw na bahala mag judge.

nung bata ako i have so many personalities, sobrang adventurous ko. sobrang hindi ko kaya na hindi ko na eexpress yong sarili ko. i need wild things, im born to be explore and be curious about things. then there's this one time na may nagsabi sakin na ampon ako. alam mo na asarang bata hahaha thats so normal. pero yong issue na yon, dumating hanggang sa mag grade 6 ako. out of curiousity natanong ko kay tatay if totoo ba, ang guess what? totoo sya sis. i didnt know what so say, what to react. ang the weird things is, hindi lang ako, dalawa kami,

that creeps me out, kasi only child lang ako. it turns out na may kambal ako, tatllo kami. im the middle child. yong panganay pala talaga yong anak nila, yong aampunin nila, kaso namatay sa sakit. ako, potangina nabuhay. they both treated me as their first child. yong pangalan ng ate ko, ako na kumuha. alam mo lahat ng gamit ng ate ko, sakin na napunta. lahat ng yong, hindi sakin yon. lahat ng to, hindi sakin to. it wasnt suppose to be mine.

dun ko na realize kung bakit lagi akong napapansin na parang ako. huh? kasi nung grade 7 lagi kong napapansin na may second me na nagbabantay sakin. i was so fucking scared.

that girl, shes miserable. that girl is cursing me. that girl wants me to die. and that girl is my sister, lagi syang nagpaparamdam, lasi syang nandyan. she wants my life, but i dont know how to give it to her, i didnt want to live. until napanaginipan ko sya.

alam ko na inagaw ko lahat sa kanya, family, things, this life. sakanya to eh. hindi naman ako yong dapat ampunin in the first place. she didnt want me to die, she want me so suffer.

the old me died when i was in grade 6, and my sister, ive been living as here up until now. she wanted to have more friends. she wants to have good grades, she wants to have a good life. that's why i live as her. and every time i forgot to live the life she wants. she will kill me, i can see things, torturous things. people are dying sa pananngin ko even if they are not real. i was so scared. i dont know where to express all things fucking feelings. i just want to end it. but i didnt. i deserve to suffer.

hindi ko alam, hindi ko talaga alam kung kilala ko paba yong sarili ko. hindi ko alam, ang dami kong gustong gawin, gustong maging kaibigan pero i cant. im not me anymore. hindi na ako to. hindi na akin tong buhay na to. i really tried to escape sobra.

nung grade 9 i want to tell this thoughts sa advicer nyo, but im scared, i cant even walk on my own. laging tinatanong ni sir if okay lang ba ako, i always smile and continue to pretend. this life, this isnt mine. i wasnt suppose to be here.

i want to be me again. i want to express myself more. kaya nung grade 10, just for fuckiung 1 year, let me be myself. if youre goin to see how i lived nung panahon na yon, it was paradise. ive meet such amazing people. i became me, i became my self. jahahahahhaha saglit wala na kong makita hahahh

it was the fisrt time i became very thankful to live. it was the fisrt time i can finally said that im happy. become the school year ends. i awkwardly said goodbye to my friends. sinong tanga yong mag goodbye ng february eh march ang graduation. kasi alam ko, i only have one month left, kaya sinulit ko na. gusto ko sila yakapin lahat. gusto ko sila ikeep for me. but i dont desrve that, i dont deserve them. before i became that girl again, kwinento ko to sa isa sa trusted friends ko. pumasok ako non nan naiyak kasi mamimiss ko talaga sila, alam nila na hindi ako iyakin but i just couldnt help mysefl but to cry. i mis the, somuch

wait napuwing ako hhahahaha comerciasl

after that, after that one year, everything went back to normal. after one year of ignoring that girl. bumalik na sya, and she made me suffer a lot. i started to ahve a lot of panic attacks. she killed me.

i was lifeless, so eto, etong nagtytype ngayon, is the breathless me. im living the life that she wanted me to have. i lost my friends, all of them. kasi yon ang guisto nya.

this is why i hate my name, kasi hindi sakin yon.

i tried ti seek help, pero wala sa mga kaibigan ko ang kayang intindihin yon situation ko.

para akong artista, ako yong bumubuhay sa bida.

nung 2020, i got the courage na magpatingin sa specialist. i didnt said everything bout myself. i told everything na nararamdaman nung bida, nung girl. she was diagnosed with depression. so i have to deal it all by myself because, i dont have b friend anymore, that girl dont have friends.

ang hirap, ilang beses akong humingi ng tulong. ilang beses akong nagtry, but none of them believed me. pero bakit kapag si ate, kapag sya, ang dami agad tumutulong. \

this is so deep. this is so shit.

ngayon, i dont need help. i wont die, maniwala ka, hindi ko kayang patayin yong sarili ko kasi utang ko tong buhay na to. hindi to akin.

but again, if ever that day comes, sana walang umiyak.

hahahhahahaha sorry, alam ko hindi kapanipaniwala to, wag ka mag alala, sanay na ko. pero thank you, i wanted to be friend s with you kaso hindi na pwede, sa next life nalang siguro.

Right now, gusto ko magbreakdown. Kaso I don't havr the courage to be depress sa gantong state.

I want to say sorry sa mga kaibigan ko, I'm a fake friend. Sorry kasi hindi ko ma share to sa kanila. I want to, kaso takot ako ss rejection.

i didnt express too much sa message na to kasi may online class pa, baka mahalat yong mukha ko kapag nagbreakdown ako. sanay nako sa ganto. sorry if i never got to explain myself and express more, nalimutan ko nakasi yong pakiramdam na maging ako. that person is lifeless.

Hey bub, sana kalimutan mo nalang to. I hate to make people worry. I hated it, kaya please, just let this go. Uulitin ko yong sinabi ko sa post ko na,

If I die early than everyone expected please don't cry. Death is one of my goal right now. Please be happy that finally I'm not suffering from everything. I'm already satisfied with the days I've spent here, I'm okay if I'll be gone soon.

And yes, masaya ako. Pero thank you for bwing warm.

Please don't speak this up. Ayokong pinag uusapan, ty.

salamat sa pagbasa, this might be the last. please dont worry too much, hindi ako sanay. dont worry that is how life goes, ig for me.

[hanji-is-life]

I’m probably late for the daydream sharing thing but meh here is mine. Each daydream we meet different but my favorite scenario is, Class 1A somehow meets with my General class for quirk training thingamajig, right well when Bakugo finds out my quirk can nullify his, then it’s on and popping after that!

He won’t leave me alone, always showing up to my class and in the halls demanding me to fight, he Must have that rematch to prove “No damn general course extra will best him” the whole time i’m like “who is the angry Pomeranian?”, “I said my fuckin damn name was Bakugo!” “Da fuck you mean I just said that Baka-go!” lol i’m always running away from him hiding and dodging him in the halls.

He would follow me like angry ass shadow until I give in and fight him and totally kick his ass in a few moves of unless before going back to studying/class, which drives him insane! and If I lose on purpose! Dear lord the boy would get so fuckjng pissed! “Am I a fuckin joke to you? Fight me for real you damn extra!”

When he’s not trying to fight me, We’re always arguing about why I am in the general course “because there more to life then being a hero” “Your shitty quirk isn’t meant for pushing papers damnit”

it’s an endless cycle of madness and funny scenes but yet some how we become friends, “I’m not in the mood for your shit today Katsuki! shut up and sit down!” Bakugo would curls his lips and just pout the whole day. “What the fuck is that?” “My food, da hell you can just throw out my lunch!” “That shit wasn’t lunch!” Slam a four course meal in front of my table.

We someone become a Constant in each other lives, he can’t sit right without some how bothering me and the quiet days i use to love were now just a bit too quiet. If ask neither of us would know how we started walking home together even if we lived in different directions, we somehow would argue all the way to my train stop and on the way to school “I swear to fuckin hell if you ask me to fight you so dam early in the morning I will kill you” bakugo learned to bring food cuz “your such a bitch in the morning” but the walks grew to be comfortable and warm.

Neither of us would admit we fell ass over tits for the other because I was “just a shitty woman” and He was simply “Baka-go”

so yeah that’s my favorite one!!! though Mer-Bakugo been living rent free in my head for months now and Mer-May isn’t making it better lmao.

Omg I love this!!!! I had a similar daydream but my quirk didn’t nullify his, but still!!! it’s just something about picking with him constantly and watching him blow a fuse. and also the slow creeping of falling in love with each other before you can even recognize it!!!! such a sweet trope!!!!

but thank you so much for sharing this with me!!! 💕💕

[apenapaperandadoofus]

in relation to my drowsy share, anyway can we have the rfa + minor trio's take on an mc that is so crazy for a fictional character meanwhile they are in love with mc? they be like: hELLo - crackhead anon

Hey there crackhead anon! I’ve missed yaaaaa

RFA+minor trio with an MC who is in love with fictional characters (instead of them *insert sad violin music*)

Part 2 here!

Zen:

Aight listen

At first he’s chill about it

He just thinks you don’t know how to pick up hints, because he’s literally been flirting with you for a while now

But then, after time passes and you still don’t realize he’s hitting on you, and you’re still sort of fangirling over this fictional character, he WILL be a bit mad

I mean why do you need to romance 2d boys when he’s there??? Do you just not like him??? What was wrong with him, mC pLeAsE

Truth be told, he will try and act like your anime/game character. He WILL do it, all he can to get you to understand he LIKES you

You like angry bois? He will become an angry boy. Tsunderes? Well, it’s not like he l-likes you or anything baka! Cool flirty type? He will up his game

Although it takes a while, Zen finds out one of your favorite confessions from your favorite game, and decides to copy it! He will be all romantic and everything

Thankfully you were FINALLY able to understand that he likes you, and it’ll probably be a funny story you tell everyone in the RFA

Yoosung:

Angry boi angry boi

Yoosung has never flirted in his life

Well, he’s not good at it, it’s not something he has really done before

Imagine the PAIN this poor guy must be through when he finally takes the courage to flirt and...

You don’t get it

HOW?

Zen has even tried giving Yoosung some advice, which usually works,but you’re still not picking up his hints!

One day Yoosung finds you smiling at your phone screen and he’s lowkey ready to fuck a bitch up

But then he sees you’re playing a game... ANS GETS EVEN MORE JEALOUS

I mean, come on! You’re choosing an AI over him? Why MC WHY T_T

After curling up in his bed and crying for three hours, Yoosung decided to just tell you and get it over with.

He was really scared, and his hands shook as he dialed up your number.

You immediatly answered, which made him let out a little yelp, and after a bit of stammering Yoosung decided to confess his feelings for you.

“I...I love you Y/N. And, I-I know I’m not exactly your type of guy...like the ones in your game. I’m not really like...like them but I, I promise I will do my best to become the type of man you want to be with!”

....

“Y/N please speak I am panicking.”

You laughed. “It’s alright Yoosung. Truth is...I like you too...and you’re exactly like the guy in my game, why do you even think I was romancing him? You don’t have to change, I love you for who you are.”

Yoosung tried his best to hold back his tears, and after the two of you hung up he gave a little WHOOP

Jaehee:

So, Jaehee was really taken aback when she realized that she had feelings for you. After all, she never really thought about having a partner before

She was really new to the experience. Sure, she had been confessed to in her high school days (I mean look at her she probably got so many love letters AHG) but that was all she knew.

So she went to Zen for advice, which was great! The thing neither of you had planned though, was that you would be far too focused on your anime waifus to realize that Jaehee was flirting with you

Honestly she isn’t even mad. She’s just confused. I mean, she gets what it’s like idolizing someone, but I mean, Zen was real.

So Jaehee lays low for a while. To be honest, she feels a bit jealous whenever you gush and fawn over this character, or this other character, because your eyes light up in such a beautiful way, she can’t help but want them to light up like that for her.

After months and months, Zen finally decides to tell you that Jaehee likes you. He had taken you out to dinner, and you almost dropped your fork when he told you.

Immediatly, he drove you to Jaehee’s house. She came out in her cute pijamas, with no glasses on. You were honestly about to die.

After saying bye (and thanks) to Zen, you went to sit with Jaehee in her living room, and there you confessed your feelings for her. Jaehee was super confused,after all you would never shut up about the character you liked, and she really believed she had no shot. Yet, here you are, confessing to her. Jaehee can’t help but smile and blush.

She will always tease you about your character crushes, but she understands you. She has even found a few of her own! (But she’ll never tell you.)

Jaehee thinks it’s really funny how you never understood that she was trying to give you hints, or even the time she used a pick up line on you (Zen’s idea) and you two laugh about it when you lay in bed, cuddling.

Jumin:

He is very confused

First of all, he’s dealing with a LOT of emotions right now

And then second, when he decided to express his feelings for you, you don’t really understand?

Which is super confusing, I mean, it always works in his soap operas

Instead though, you are in love with a fictional character.

Excuse me what?

Jumin really doesn’t understand

MC he’s fake pls love me

Honestly I think this would lead to a really funny montage of Jumin buying you super expensive things, and making the biggest romantic gestures, while you just remain clueless as to what’s going on lol

He gets a whole orchestra to play your favorite song, he always gets you your favorite flowers or chocolates, he’s always doing the most romantic things he can find on the internet! (Yes he had to look up how to flirt lol)

One day, you’re both talking on the phone, and it’s late at night. The moon and stars are getting the both of you super sentimental, and at one point while Jumin is looking out into the balcony, he smiles and then whispers your name.

You immediatly stop talking and blush like crazy. Then, before you could say anything else, he starts speaking again.

“Y/N. There’s something really important I have to tell you. In all my life...no one has ever gotten to make me...make me feel so much. I’ve always been told to bury my emotions, to never show them. Then you came along and I found that I could never stop myself from...from feeling...I’ve never felt like this before, the feeling of loving someone, of cherishing someone. They weren’t feelings I hadn’t known until I met you. You have changed my life. And I mean it, Y/N. I have become more open, it’s as if my heart was a frozen lake and then you came and melted me away and well, what I’m trying to say is that I love you.”

“Jumin that was the best confession ever, I- I love you too!”

Afterwards Jumin is fine with you going crazy for a fictional character, as long as he always ends up getting tons of hugs and kisses too.

Jumin was never really jealous, except the times when he left for business trips, because he knew that some games had these audios to help you sleep (you told him a while ago) and that was the only thing that made him a bit worried.

One time when he came home early, you jumped up from your bed where you were playing and ran up to hug Jumin. Your phone screen was still on and he could see the character smiling seductively at you. He may or may not have stuck his tongue out at it for a split second (he had all the right to though, I mean why would you want a fictional character when you have JUMIN ajfbdbsb)

Saeyoung:

So, after the whole ME ordeal was over, you two still hadn’t really tied the knot. You weren’t even together.

Saeyoung had realized that he liked you, more than he’s ever liked a person before, and he felt that it was alright now...after all, there was no more agency, or weird cults or whatever.

He thought it would be fine.

Oh how wrong he was

Saeyoung does have his own way of showing his affections, by bulding apps or robots, anything of the sort! Yet you still didn’t seem to understand that he liked you

Instead you were head over heels for this one guy in a stupid game.

Listen, Saeyoung was pretty jealous alright? He kept trying to flirt but you didn’t understand, and you actually seemed to be in love with a fictional character! What was he supposed to do now?

Well eventually he figured out how to make his feelings clear for you.

One night, you opened up your game after a long day. You loaded your file and hummed the games background music as you progressed through the story, and giggled whenever your favorite character would appear.

Then, when your favorite cutscene was about to happen, your computer froze.

You frowned and gently tapped the screen, seeing if that would make it work. But no.

You panicked and clicked your screen, trying to restart your computer, to close the application, just to figure out what was wrong.

Then suddenly some text appeared, as if from the game, and a sprite you had never seen before (but was familiar) appeared on the screen.

Saeyoung?

You raised an eyebrow and went out into the living room, looking at the camera and trying to ask Seven what was going on, but he didn’t seem to reply.

You then grabbed your computer and kept clicking through the game.

“Y/N” it said. “It’s me! God7! Aren’t you feeling so grateful right now? Knowing that the one and only Savior of Justice is right here, inside your computer! Not everyone gets this sort of treatment you know? Anyway, the thing is, I hope you’re not mad that I hacked into your game. Oh, don’t worry though! I will fix it as soon as we’re done talking...well...the thing is....Y/N. I know it’s really weird that I’m talking to you through this, but I feel like it’s the only way I can get you to understand how you make me feel. Thanks to you I got my brother back, and the RFA is closer than ever. I don’t even have an agency to work for anymore. You’ve done so much for all of us. And the thing is, during that process I...I fell in love with you. I love your smile, your voice, your eyes, your face, everything. Yet you only seem to have eyes for that game character, hmph! How dare he try to get between my beautiful 606 and me!? To be honest...I don’t know if you like me back. For all I know you’re ready to marry that one guy, but I just have to be honest now, and tell you how I feel. That’s all. You don’t have to reply yet though! I’m sorry I can’t be like those guys in your games, but I’ll show you that 707 can be way better than them! Anyway, I think I’ve kept you for too long. I’ll go now...bye!”

A woosh sound effect was heard, and then your computer turned back to normal, your character smiling up at you, the romantic music playing on the background. But you just sat there, blushing.

Seven....liked you?!

Holy shit! And you didn’t even realize!

You quickly turned off your computer and ran over to the living room, getting in clear view of the camera. You waved your arms frantically and smiled at the lens as you said “I love you Saeyoung!”

Did he hear? You didn’t really know. Well not until you heard a knock on your door and when you opened, Saeyoung quickly ran over and hugged you.

He lets you still be crazy for fictional characters, the only rule is that you can’t buy any body pillows of them.

“Why buy them when you have me! Y/N, you know I’m the best quality for a body pillow” he winked at you, and you rolled your eyes.

In conclusion, the two of you always laugh remembering how you never got that he was flirting, and how in love you appeared to be with the fictional character.

[kuroos-moon]

S/o Loves Their Best Friend

pairing: Kenma x reader, Iwaizumi x reader

scenario: they realize how you’ve fallen for their best friend 

warning/s: angst, mentions of sex (Iwaizumi)

wc: 1.9 k

Kenma 

He may love games, but your relationship to him is anything but. You’ve had deep and honest conversations and talks about life— about your barest and truest selves— he knows that there’s no one out there who understood him and knew him as much as you did. 

The same goes for you too, he knew you like the back of his hand, like the skill combination of his favorite character and the buttons he had to press on his console without even glancing down. He knows how your eyebrows would form a slight crease when you’re confused, how you would always hum your favorite song when you were happy, but most importantly, he knows how you are when you’re in love. 

“Oy, Kuroo-san you’re disgusting get away,” he hears you laugh as you bicker with his best friend, not bothering to look up from his game to know that your eyes were probably alight and looking at him like he was your life’s joy.  

It had been months since you’ve met Kuroo, he never missed how your interest peaked at the mention of his name and how you always wanted to come see them practice only to exchange banters with the said captain. 

Kenma was never the type to lie to himself, so the moment he realized how you must feel about Kuroo, he had simply been waiting for you to realize it yourself too, holding on to what he knew was a lost cause— your relationship; your love. 

“Ken, c’mon, let’s walk home together,” you call out to him, and just like a banished child who was told he was welcomed back home, he looks up at you, eyes filled with hope— only to be replaced by a bitter and cold helplessness as he saw you were at the gym’s doorway beside him. 

How long were you going to drag this on? he thought, as he walks off ahead of the both of you, heart heavy in his chest. 

“Goodbye asshole,” you stick your tongue out at Kuroo as he pats both your heads before he enters his house with a grin. Hooking an arm around Kenma’s as he continued to play, the both of you quietly continue down the road. For some reason you can’t quite point out, you were feeling so content and happy, as if something extremely good happened to you today, like you could take on whatever life throws at you. Was it because you were with Kenma, the love of your life? 

“Y/n,” he says in a low voice, making you look at him in question. “For how much longer are you gonna keep me?” He asks you, his face blank of any emotion in contrast to what he was really feeling deep inside. “Wh-what?” You ask in pure shock, unable to register such a serious question he put out in the open so bluntly. 

He sighs, finally looking at your eyes as the both of you come to a halt. “Are you deceiving yourself or do you really not know it yet?” He asks, forcing himself to swallow down all the harsh but truthful words that wanted to slip out. “What are you saying Kenma?” You ask him, ah, there it is, he thought, the slight crease between your brows— you’re confused. 

“If I’m only stopping you from being free of who to love y/n, by all means, you could simply end it and get rid of me,” he nonchalantly tells you and he can’t help but feel slightly annoyed because you still looked so confused, why were you so oblivious about your own feelings? Why does he have to be the one to make you realize it when you’ve been hurting him enough? 

“Fine,” he sighs, shoulders slumping slightly as if he was so tired— because he was—  “Quick question, Kuroo or me?” He deadpans and you meet his emotionless look with wide eyes. “Kenma of course it’s you! What do you even-” 

“This is tiring,” he cuts you off, another sigh escaping his slightly parted lips as he looks up at the sky in thought, trying to calm himself and keep his tears at bay. So this is what it had come to? He never said anything nor has he acted any different, patiently waiting for you to find yourself back to him. 

But you didn’t, there’s nothing but distance between you two, a distance you made grow, all the while he patiently stood still, blindly trusting you to choose him; to stay. Or was it somehow his fault too? Should he have chased you as you got farther away? Should he have changed into someone more like Kuroo— would you have loved him again then? 

“Kenma, look at me,” you say in irritation, not having a single clue as to why he was acting that way. Cupping his cheek in your hand, you guide his face to look down at you, but all you saw was a face you wish you’d never seen, a look you wished Kenma would never have to wear. 

“Kenma,” you whisper, the sound of your voice breaking his heart even more. The tears that glossed his golden cat eyes finally rolled down his cheek, wet against your skin as you don’t take away your gentle hold. He offers you a small smile, “If you’re not ditching me then I will, for your own good that is,” he says in defeat, taking your hand off him as he looks sideways and away from you. 

“Y/n, let’s break up,” he says, yet again, in a calm voice devoid of emotion as he turns and walks away from you; and you stare at his back, unable to grasp how your separation was decided in an instant but would be permanent for eternity. You knew for certain that those words, accompanied by the beautiful smile he only showed you, and the tears you’ve only seen once before when you had a huge fight— it was him telling you that he had finally let go. 

Iwaizumi

“Baka,” he curses at you lightheartedly, a subtle curve at the side of his lips as he looks down at you— his pillar and his favorite dimwit. “But Iwaaa! it was cute! You moaned-” You were cut off by his palm pressing against your mouth, and you can’t help but laugh at his silly and embarrassed reaction. 

“Shut up or I’ll make you regret it tonight,” he scowls, taking his hand off when you lick his palm. “Get to class and try to make do with that brain of yours,” he says with half a smile, kissing your forehead momentarily before pulling away. 

You guys were happy, you’ve been dating for quite a while and had just recently moved in together in his new apartment. Never had he thought that he would meet his greatest love in college, but much more than that, your personalities were polar opposites so he never expected for you to be his; to have you cradled in his arms every night as you sleep or to have you beneath him as you moaned his name in pleasure, keeping you up ‘til sunrise. 

He knows how much he loves you, he was fully aware that it was simply beyond measure— there was just nothing to compare it to. On his way to your usual spot to the cafe across your school, he can’t help but look forward to seeing you again as if he didn’t just drop you by your classroom this morning. 

Upon his enter, “Iwa-san, y/n’s not dating him is she?” Asks a girl he recognized was from his class. He bites back a scowl, did she just ask him if his girlfriend was dating someone else? Following her gaze, he looks to the booth you always occupied and his heart deflates, he suddenly grows anxious. 

“Iwa-san?” The girl asks again, wondering why Iwaizumi was frozen from where he stood. Clearing his throat, he continues to make his way over to you. “Oh, y/n’s my girlfriend if it wasn’t obvious,” he mutters at the girl. 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa brightly greets his best friend, sipping down on his lemonade. Lemonade, he had just recalled that you both had the same favorite drink, “Surprise!” Toru dramatically says, arms wide open making you chuckle. Not again, he thought. There’s that look in your eyes, the loving look that only his best friend could draw out from you, the look he wished to see when you were staring back at him. 

“Babe, come sit down,” you smile up at him. The three of you catch up, his mood getting more and more brought down as you smile when he smiles, laughs when he laughs, and when you unconsciously brought your hand down to hold Toru’s when he told you about his struggles, he knew that the way you felt about Toru before, it was still there now; unchanging.

You guys met each other before he went to Brazil, would he really have been your boyfriend if Oikawa stayed in Japan? “Toru, let’s see each other tomorrow again, yeah?” you pout at him after pulling away from your hug. “Missing me already, y/n-chan?” He teases, ruffling your hair a bit. “Iwa-chan take good care of our y/n okay?” Oikawa bids with a smile, patting his best friend’s shoulder before walking out the cafe. Our y/n?

The whole time, his eyes don’t leave you, there’s that fucking look again, he thought, as you stare at Toru’s back while he walks away. You don’t even notice his down mood as you both make it back to your apartment. You were seated on your bed, looking at your phone with a small smile and he can’t help but just stand there as he watches you type away at your phone, oblivious to the fact that his insecurities once again resurfaced. 

“Iwa-” he cuts you off with a hungry kiss, tossing your phone away as he gently pushes you down from your sitting position, hovering on top of you as his hands gripped your waist. “Ah, Iwa,” you let out a soft moan as you tilted your head to the side, allowing him to suck on your sensitive skin. 

Your breaths were ragged and you were nearing your third orgasm for the night. “Iwa,” you moan his name, as he continues to pound inside of you, “I’m close.” Your nails dug themselves to his back, clawing at it as extreme bliss filled your head. “You love me?” He asks in a raspy voice, his forehead against yours, meeting your eyes with his as he continues to thrust in and out of you without slowing down. 

When you don’t answer, he angles his hips and enters more aggressively inside of you as you whimper beneath him. “Y-yes, ah, yes I love you so much Iwa, so much,” you manage to say, earning a groan from him as your nails painfully dug deeper on his back. 

You both cum together, your heavy pants filling the air as he pulled out of you. “I love you,” he whispers, planting a kiss on your forehead before he pulls away and looks at your face. “I love you too Iwa,” you respond, looking back at him as you caress his cheek with your thumb. 

His heart felt heavy; of course he will never doubt your love for him, but when you were made to choose, would he still be the one? The one to hear your steady breaths as you sleep, the name you call out when you moan, the person you’d share your life with— was he all that?

If Oikawa could stay by your side, if he was available for you, he just knows that it would be him with you instead.

You run your fingers through his hair as he settles his face at the crook of your neck, one thought running through his mind: could you ever look at him the way you looked at his best friend?  

[ifellintothestyx]

I keep thinking about that moment when Akutagawa called Atsushi "stupid".

"Stupid" which could be changed to "Idiot" and then translated to "Baka" in the anime (I'm not sure. For the sake of this post, just think about it).

So, one thought led to another:

In the aftermath of the Dracula virus, the ex-infected Port Mafia members are resting in a large infirmary. It's open for the ADA to enter and leave freely, since the building was damaged in the battle and no one wanted to cover up the huge hole in the wall. Yosano was also needed there to help tend to the wounded and check the conditions of the cured mafiosos, and she refused to do so without a member of the Agency at her side.

Akutagawa was the first to wake, which was surprising since he was turned first. He felt well-rested, like he never had before. He was always pushing himself to the limits after all, just to gain his approval. He did not have time for relaxing activities, and the only reason he slept at all was because his sister was a terrifying force of nature when she was worried.

Gin! Akutagawa immediately sat up, concern for his sister bubbling up. Vague memories of her at his side surfaced, her face contorted unnaturally in a way that sent chills down his spine from just remembering. His sister wasn't supposed to look like that. She looked terrifying at work, but at home, where it was just the two of them, the soft kindness on her face spoke louder than her pretty voice.

He was ready to bolt up from the bed to see her, when a familiar boy stepped into view.

Jinko looked exhausted at first. There were bags under his eyes, and some of the naivety in them that Akutagawa first found revolting was gone. He looked like he'd been through hell. He's starting to look like me.

When their gazes met, the relief that spread across the younger's face surprised him. It was quickly covered up as Jinko walked forward, but he could still see traces of it in the golden hue of his eyes.

"You're awake," Jinko breathed.

"Naturally. What did you expect?" Akutagawa replied, raising an eyebrow.

Jinko looked annoyed at first, then amused, and then he snorted. "I'm-I'm not sure, but, uh, are you–pfft–raising an eyebrow right now?"

Akutagawa immediately activated Rashoumon, the black demonic cloth piercing the ground beside Jinko. To his satisfaction, a brief squeak left Jinko's mouth as he stepped away.

Didn't I give away my coat?

Akutagawa's eyes widened as he reached behind his shoulder to grasp at the familiar leather. He had only just realized the coat was there, the familiar weight of it as natural as... well, not breathing, but maybe the constant ache of his lungs.

Which, now that he thought about it, was gone.

His hand trailed down to his chest, gripping the front of his shirt as he took in the first deep breath of his life without feeling the rattle in his lungs and the strong urge to cough. The feeling was so foreign, so nice, but strange, all the same, and for one bizarre moment, he wished he had his sickness back. Then, he realized he didn't have to die.

He didn't have to die anymore.

He didn't have to leave Gin, and Higuchi, and Tachihara, and Hirotsu-san, and Chuuya-san.

He didn't have to die.

"The Dracula virus, when it revived you, seemed to have fixed your lung problem," Jinko explained as he took a seat next to him. "When Yosano-sensei healed you, the effects stayed."

Akutagawa couldn't speak for a shock-filled minute. When he recovered, he turned to Jinko.

"Where is my sister?" He asked sharply. Funny, how he hadn't noticed the change in his voice before.

He realized that Jinko probably didn't know he had a sister, and opened his mouth to clarify, when Jinko snapped his fingers.

"Oh! Gin-san! Don't worry, she's here. She's just asleep," he said in a reassuring tone. "She and the others are recovering quickly. Yosano-sensei said they might wake up later in the day."

The relief of knowing his sister and his friends are all safe drowned out the strong urge to ask him how he knew Gin was his sister.

They sat in silence for a moment. Akutagawa was never good at small talk, but he could feel the tension hanging between them. The last time they had seen each other, Akutagawa been speaking through the pain in his throat, telling him to save himself. Jinko had reached out to save him, a fruitless act, but the honest concern and fear for his life had left him feeling... somewhat satisfied. Because Jinko was good, and kind, and the light that so many others seemed to rally behind and follow, and it both pleased and scared him somehow that his kindness extended to him.

"You know," Jinko started, "your last words were pretty dramatic."

Akutagawa scowled at him. "What do you mean, dramatic?" He ignored the shakiness of Jinko's voice when he said last words.

"'Idiot. Hurry up and go'," Jinko recited. The words sounded as if they were spoken more than once. Akutagawa decided not to think about the implication behind that.

"Well, you are stupid," Akutagawa said bluntly. Jinko rolled his eyes.

"How many days has it been?" Akutagawa asked.

"Three days since the last fight," Jinko answered. "Unfortunately, Fuck-you—I mean, Fukuchi escaped, but now that the Hunting Dogs are helping us, we might be able to corner him soon."

Discontentment, frustration, and anger rose up within him. That bastard isn't dead yet? And why were those Hunting Dogs helping them?

"To be honest, they aren't so bad," Jinko said. "They were just doing their jobs, after all, and Tecchou-san and Teruko-san were actually pretty nice, if you ignore Teruko-san's ranting about how she'll rip out the tendons of the rest of the Decay of Angels. Jouno-san, though, he apologized once, to both Yosano and Kunikida, then decided he was too good for any of us to speak with him. Only Dazai-san seemed to be the one getting through to him, honestly."

Tecchou? Teruko? Jouno? Who the hell were they?

"Dazai-san is back?" Akutagawa asked, shocked. He decided to ask about the other three later.

"Yes. His charges were mysteriously dropped, and now he's been pestering Jouno-san about the Hunting Dogs' methods for an hour now. Tecchou-san says he's impressed at how Jouno-san managed to keep himself from shooting him." Jinko sighed in a world-weary way.

After a long silence, Jinko spoke up again. "My name is Nakajima Atsushi."

Akutagawa blinked. "You have an actual name?"

Jinko looked irritated. "Of course I have an actual name! Did you really think I was named Jinko at the orphanage?!"

Akutagawa nodded. "Fine. You have a name. But, unless you defeat me in our battle a few months from now, I will refer to you as Jinko."

"Don't."

"Nakajinko Atsushi, then."

"I–No!"

Just then, a hilarious thought crossed Akutagawa's mind.

"Bakajinko Atsushi."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Been there, done that."

[01tsubomi]

okay after some digging i found a list deep in my drive so here are the first 10 anime i watched and if i still stand by them: 

haruhi - haruhi was soooo influential to me and like my tastes in stories and storytelling styles and i still consider it my favorite anime and think the direction is fantastic. that being said. i have never been able to get more than like 10 episodes into a rewatch. i don’t know why but it just like can’t hold my attention even though i consider it a 10/10 

ouran - obviously it’s a product of its time (which is part of why i don’t. Want a season 2) but yeah ofc i still stand by ouran. ouran’s gotten like a new wave of life in these past 2 years because now everyone considers it their comfort anime. i’ve watched ouran twice this year

madoka - after getting way into magical girl anime (and watching the genre devolve into Edgy Shock Factor Series Of The Month and Also Precure) i have mixed feelings on madoka. i never got into the spinoffs and barely watched rebellion so idk if this is like incorrect but my lasting impression is that madoka is mostly about having hope and that the people blaming girls for wanting things are the ones in the wrong, and then every anime studio ever for the next 10 years looked at that and said “okay but what if they ARE in the wrong. and what if they die”. i don’t think shaft could’ve known the wave of garbage they were about to inspire but it still taints my thoughts 

fruits basket - i would never ever in a million years rewatch fruits basket (2001) but literally fruits basket is one of the best anime of all time. to clarify what i’m saying is that last year i rewatched what i know was my favorite episode of fruits basket (2001) when i was 13 and found it like borderline unwatchable because of everything from the visuals to the sound direction to the just general way it felt. not saying things that are goofy are inherently bad but the reboot is waaaaaay more what the manga demands. furuba was always great in concept but it’s finally also great in anime execution

sailor moon - this like shouldn’t even be on this list because who would i be to renounce Sailor Moon. but also like yeah of course sailor moon’s still good. the things that were bad about sailor moon were things that we already called bad back in 2014, and honestly, if i were to rewatch it, i probably would spring for the goofy old dic dub. sailor moon being zany and dated adds to its charm because it’s such a classic. there’s nothing to ridicule it’s just the blueprint for monster of the week magical girl anime

k-on - hell fucking yeah i still stand by k-on!! honestly i think i like k-on MORE now than i did back then!! i just rewatched it last month and i don’t even know what else i could say. top 5 anime ever made

mekakucity actors - i mean like. it should be obvious that 1) yes and 2) no. but also like at this point in my kagepro phase i’m not mad at mekakucity actors for existing. when it comes down to it i think kagepro as just a series of music videos and a vocaloid creator’s passion project is absolutely incredible and the fact that they’re hard to approach doesn’t really take away from that. in theory yeah a really incredible kagepro anime that anyone could understand without any prior knowledge that would also condense all the other bits and pieces from the different mediums into one would be incredible. but you know what you can do with mekakucity actors? laugh at it. and look at a scene of your favorite characters, then laugh more, and go watch otsukimi recital again. i love mekakucity actors the worst anime ever 

baka and test - honestly i think i mostly watched this because it was one of the few on netflix at the time and i think the last time i actually rewatched it was like 2016? with maybe like two episodes in the past year. but i do have fond memories even if most of those fond memories are of being 13 and making bad jokes w my 2 friends who liked it. i’m not against a rewatch bc i do remember there being kind of a lot of heart behind the generic anime stereotype jokes (tsundere girl yandere girl boy who gets a nosebleed every 2 minutes) but it’s not high on the list

black butler - full disclosure i’m pretty sure i only made myself get into this one bc it was one of the 5 anime hot topic carried merch of so i thought i had to if i was an anime fan. i don’t really remember liking this one much and the only plotlines i can remember are where lizzie gets turned into a doll and sebastian invents curry pan. also i feel like there’s a lot of stuff that’d be called problematic that only slides under our radar bc it’s old genre anime (and the genre is yaoi). no i would not watch this again

princess tutu - yo i haven’t watched princess tutu since two thousand and fourteen and i would still recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat. i just have such fond memories of it and i remember really loving that it was a darker magical girl anime that didn’t seem to hate magical girl anime (not that madoka did, but that became a defining feature of the Edgy Magical Girl Anime genre). i really should give it a rewatch it’s been way too long

[katsukikitten]

what about bakugou with an s/o that is a bad influence (she manipulates him, makes him mad/jealous for fun, says his friends talk badly about her even though they dont, etc) and his friends are having none of that so they talk with bakugou and make him realize what kind of person his s/o is

Heated

Anon I hope I wrote this to your liking enjoy!! Sorry it took forever

You dodge a searing punch from the ash blonde just in time to catch his wrist. Both of you are breathing heavily. Both of you fighting for over twenty minutes.

He wrenches free and both of you disengage for the time being.

"What's aaahhh wrong aaahhh Y/N?" Bakugou keeps his hot smug ass smirk despite having to pause to speak.

"Hhhhaaahh aahhh Nothing Suki. I think you can't handle all of this." You gesture to your body mockingly while his smirk goes wider. He rolls his shoulders before getting back into fighting stance.

"Looks to me like there isn't much to handle."

You lunge, ready to punch that smug ass look off of his face.

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" A shrill voice yells out and he looks away at the last second catching your fist with his strong jaw.

Oh here we go.

You topple on top of him, having expected him to be braced for the blow. His hands rest on your hips before another scream is let out. Bakugou's girlfriend stomps in her red bottom heels your way.

"What the hell are you doing with that slut? I told you not to hang out with her you stupid shit? AND NOW SHE'S SITTING ON YOU!!!"

Katsuki lifts you by your hips and places you on your feet as he stands.

"Does she ride your dick too?" She screams and you roll your eyes, "Or is that apart of your endurance training?!"

"Oh shut up. You know God Damn well Katsuki is too loyal to cheat on you." You roll your eyes again, nerves frayed at the end from her presence alone.

Bakugou cuts you a look as his girlfriend fumes.

"Babe. Enough."

"Enough? She just talks badly about you and tries to beat the shit out of you. She's trash. She makes everyone in the dorm turn against you. I should leave you for that cutie Deku." A blush settles over her boojee cheeks. Bakougu's fingers twitch with subtle pops.

"Hey I'm right here. If you have something to say then say it to my face." You snap, hating this vile woman that Bakugou has been dating the past three months or so. Sure she was hot as fuck, long hair, dressed nicely, gorgeous face and ass for days but damn.

She was just such a bitch. You grind your teeth, wishing you had been braver four months ago.

Bakugou again gives you a sharp look.

"Oi." But there is more to it. He wants you to stop because he knows she will get in your face and she WILL get her ass whooped.

At least that's what you tell yourself.

"Fine." You snarl, Bakugou says nothing and slips his hand to the small of her back.

"Have you been hanging around Kirishima too? He's a bad influence and *below* you. And stop talking to that ugly bitch, Y/LN. She clearly wants to take you away from me." She goes on even as he guides her away.

You thought that would be the last straw on the camels back, that he would break up with her after speaking so lowly over his two best friends.

But Monday morning proves other wise.

You enter class and spy Katsuki already sitting at his desk. Delight fills you when you see that stank ho Emi is no where in sight.

You thank Kamisama she is in a different class.

You assume your normal spot when she isn't there, hopping onto Katsuki's desk top, bitching about the paper that is due.

Bakugou says nothing as he glares up at you before he places his palm beneath the desk, settling off an explosion large enough to flip it. Your heart tears into pieces, hurt painting your features as the ejection from your seat goes in slow motion. Its inevitable, you're gonna land on your ass.

Strong arms catch you princess style and instinctively you wrap your arms around a thick neck.

"Bakugou..." Kirishima sounds disappointed as you cling to him, "She could have gotten hurt."

"She shouldn't have sat on my desk. She should've had her guard up. And why the fuck do you care what I do?" He growls as he flips his desk upright with his feet pressing against the back legs. Your eyes narrow to slits and for the first time in a long time your feel real rage burning in your stomach towards Bakugou.

But your rage does not burn as badly as the tears forming in your eyes. You know exactly why he is acting this way.

"Emi is such a bad influence on you Baka!" You yell, gripping into Kirishima to keep yourself in check, "We've been over this a thousand times. Please. Listen to us, she's making you a paranoid asshole!"

"Don't be so harsh about the seat, Katuski. Y/N is right. She's manipulating you for some reason. We're saying this as your friends." Eji says softly, still not putting you down onto your feet, which was probably for the best considering what comes out of Bakugou's mouth next.

"Neither of you are my friends so fuck off and die." His voice holds real disgust when he speaks and you hold your breath, counting down slowly to keep that temper of yours in check.

But that dumb ass method never worked.

Kirishima glances down at you and sees your reddening face. You try to push off of him harshly but he keeps his grip tight as he brings you to your seat in the back of the class room. Knowing full well what would happen if he put you down.

Someone was going to get a punch in the face. Whether it be Katsuki or Emi he wasn't sure.

"Thank you so much Izuku-kun for the training this past Sunday." Nails grate over a chalk board as Emi comes to view at the door, "Can we train again sometime soon?"

"Sure." Izuku replies, unkowningly digging his own grave.

Anger swells in your chest as quickly as Bakugou reacts. Practically jumping to the door and grabbing Deku by his shoulder.

"What kind of fucking training?" He clamps a live hand onto Deku's shoulder. Small explosions burst onto the emerald haired boy point blank. He hisses out a cry but knows better than to provoke an already enraged Kaachan.

"Oh babe don't be so dramatic. It was simple basic training. You know similar to what you so with that slut." She smiles her petty smile before adding, "Let's try for tomorrow Izuku-senpai!"

She hugs him full on even with Bakugou gripping onto his shoulder. She is sure to press her boobs against Deku's chest earning a full face of blush. Red lingers on his throat before she let's go not even a word of goodbye to her ACTUAL boyfriend.

You bite your tongue and remind yourself that he said the two of you weren't friends.

Days meld into weeks as Bakugou trains alone, relishing the solitude for the first week and a half. But one day he catches your laughter and when he sees you training with Kirishima he begins to watch daily.

Keeping an eye on the competition or so he says.

At first you two are all laughs lightly sparing and heavy on the cardio.

He knows you suck at cardio. He's been trying to build your endurance since the two of you met.

Don't get it fucking twisted, he wants to be number one.

Will be number one.

But he wouldn't mind you being a close second.

So to watch you having such a good time with his other "best friend", the very same best friend that came to rescue him during that league of villains arch.

The best friend who risked his life, teamed up with shitty Deku and held out his hand for him had his stomach twisting in knots.

Bakugou knew that Kirishima saw his heart, his true heart and that deep down he wasn't such a bad guy. He cared for his equals deeply and once Bakugou acknowledged that care he would do *anything* to keep them safe.

But did you know that?

I guess it didn't fucking matter. Bakugou was sure to fuck it up anyway.

Like he did all of his good relationships. I mean look at Deku...

Katsuki didn't know he was going to manage to really fuck this one up especially not the very next day.

"I'm serious babe. She's spreading rumors that I'm sleeping with everyone in my class. You know I would never." Emi cries, literal tears flooding down her cheeks. Even managing to hiccup at the end. Katsuki feels torn he knew you could be petty but this low?

He looks down at his red faced girl friend and wonders for a fraction of a second.

Could someone fake cry this well?

He thought not, so he stomps to his class room during this break to confront you.

Since Bakugou's last comment you had wiped him from existence.

At least that's what you tell yourself. Careful to avoid him during class and free time. Trying and failing as Aizawa shamelessly pairs the two of you together often.

So break is your only time for peace considering Bakugou always goes to her classroom.

Confusion twists your features as you see a fuming ash blonde making his way to you.

You bite your lip to keep from lashing our and look away, giving Kirishima your full attention once more as he asks for your advice on Mina.

Bakugou doesn't care that he is interrupting as he slams popping palms onto your desk, the wood beneath charrs with snaking black fissures.

"Are you talking about my girl Y/N?" He snarls, eyes narrowed in on you.

At first you're taken aback in disbelief?

Where in the fuck would he get that idea?

And why the fuck would he believe that *you* would shit talk Emi behind her face?

Because you were brave enough to say it to her fucking face.

The very same face who stands in the hall peeking in, mascara running but her lips reflect something else.

A smile pulls at her lipstick coated mouth, twisting it upward with malice.

The dots connect themselves, glaring her down before you meet the heated gaze of your *former* best friend.

"Ah no Suki, I don't speak her name because I don't like the taste of *shit* in my mouth." You say calmly, even leaning away from him. Hands resting behind your head. Angry pops echo around the room before he shoves the desk into your unguarded gut.

"Cut the shit smart ass!" He snarls, looking down his nose as if you were the garbage that stood gazing into the classroom. Watching what her web of lies has spun.

You see red and like a bull you charge.

"You want ME to cut the shit? But your girlfriend with her half ass head game is perfectly fine to manipulate you and spread lies?" You stand, slamming your hands against the desk, splitting it in two.

He grabs onto your collar, pulling you past the fallen desk.

"You're pushing it, Y/N." His free hand pops in warning and you snarl.

"Good. That's exactly what I want to do." You hiss and he shoves you away, slamming you into the cinderblock wall behind you

"Guys." Deku and Kirishima say in two different tones, "Let's calm down."

"CALM DOWN?" You yell, slamming your fist into the wall behind you. A hole crumbs and the kids in the back of class 1B peek through the three foot tall and two foot wide hole.

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CALM NOW!" Air whips around you as your power swirls in the small class room.

The special thing about your quirk was the angrier you were the stronger and faster you got.

The only down fall after your heart rate reaches a certain rate it will take hours for you to think logically.

"Oh shit!" One of them exclaims as you lunge fist reared for contact, Bakugou side steps at the last second, letting a large point blank explosion to erupt near your face.

When the smoke clears red eyes are met with glittering dangerous eyes. He smirks, he should have know that blast wouldn't have knocked *you* out.

Fists are exchanged and blocked by both parties. One fueled with pure rage while the other is backed by heated blasts. The ash blondes forearms are starting to turn into a sickening blackish blue but his snarl never wavers.

Both of you slide back a few feet, huffing hot breath.

"Azaiwa Sensei is going to be here soon!!" Kirishima shouts, "Bakugou you can't afford another demerit!"

His voice goes unnoticed by both parties as you both lunge.

Kirishima sees what Bakugou does not, you've been storing some of your rage, a lot of it for Katsuki himself, and you're about to unleash it in a deadly final blow.

Ejirou rushes, hardening his skin to its highest level as he steps in front of Bakugou, forearms crossed and braced for impact.

Your fist finds rock hard flesh, knuckles sliced before you push harder growling aloud as you do.

Harden skin chips before a sickening crack rings out, causing Kirishima's left arm to go slack as both the red head and the hot head slam hard into the chalk board, almost busting though the wall.

At this point you don't know when to stop, the blood dripping from Kirishima does not put a falter in your step as you jump fist raised again.

Aizawa enters the room at the right time, activating his quirk but it cannot dissipate the rage that you feel.

Hot tears well in your eyes as you continue to beat your fists against jagged skin.

Shredding your hands against the sharp rocky flesh.

"Fuck you Bakugou. Fuck you. You're so God damn blind!" A raw scream escapes your throat but still you take it out on Kirishima, "She's laughing even now! You're nothing but a hot toy to her!"

Two sets of red eyes look at you with hurt, one more so than the other before they glance at Emi.

Who struggles to switch her facial expression from delight to shock.

Scarlet eyes narrow with new found rage.

"Y/LN!" Aizawa says darkly, sending out his scarf to pull you from Kirishima as if you were a rabid dog, when he pulls you to him he clamps a strong hand on the back of your neck.

"I think you need to be in isolation for a few." He squeezes the colum of your neck and you snarl, still ready to fight, '

"Kirishima, Bakugou, meet me in my office in ten.

It had been a long time since you've been put in the isolation chamber but somethings never change as the same person that pushed your temper enough to send you there the first time is the cause of it again almost two years later.

They will keep you quirkless until your heart rate has significantly lowered.

Emi stands petrified, not only from your power but from you calling her out. Kirishima passes her with out a second glance but Bakugou stops, eyes averted.

"Bakugou, Baby I can explain. Sh..she's jealous.." She stammers reaching for him but he shoots a deadly glare to her. She physically shrinks back, taking a small step as if his gaze was smoldering up close.

After a moment he speaks in a tone much darker than you've ever heard, pops echoing down the hall carrying the venom of his tone along with it.

"Hope this is what you wanted. Fuck you we're over."