#fuck it give him my bank details at this point

[gottagetshiver]

Ok here's the Shane lore form my Stardew fic no one asked for. It's an excerpt from the fic itself, in the form of a flashback/Shane telling his story to the farmer:

The first day of high school is universally difficult, that’s simply the way of things. However, they’re much more difficult when you step into those daunting halls without someone, anyone by your side. 

No friends, no acquaintances, nothing. Freshly out of a moving van unloading in a new part of the city and right into the lion’s den. 

Shane’s first week is a nightmare. Of course, he tries to connect with his peers, but it’s difficult. Kids are mean, and they notice his ratty clothes and uneven haircut a mile away. After a couple days, it’s easier to simply not try to make friends. Don’t try to get close to them, and don’t let them get close to him. 

That is, until one boy sits next to him in math class. 

“Hey!” the boy chirps, bumping his shoulder into Shane’s as though they’re old buddies, “I’ve heard this teacher is really easy, I’m so pumped. I suck at math, I’d probably fail otherwise. I still might fail, actually.���

Shane hums, trying to not engage too much. His shoulders are pinched up by his ears, his lower lip is worried between his teeth, and he just wants to go back to being invisible. This, being seen, is not safe. 

“Are you any good at it?” the kid asks. “Math?”

Shane chances a look at him, and sees no hostility or trickery in the boy’s face. Cautiously, he nods.

“Cool!” the boy whoops, earning them a warning glare from the teacher. “I’m Riley, and you’re going to make sure I don’t fail.”

Riley holds out his hand to shake, and just like that they’re inseparable.

Shane and Riley do everything together, from homework to the gridball team tryouts to movie nights. 

It’s Riley’s house Shane ends up at when his dad flies into a rage, and it’s Riley’s floor he sleeps on for weeks at a time when his own bed isn't safe.

Riley’s there when Shane’s mom leaves one morning and never returns, and Shane’s there when Riley gets sick. 

It starts small, with Riley seeming confused at first, answering questions Shane doesn’t hear or tracking things with his eyes that Shane doesn’t see. It’s concerning, of course, but when Shane either calls his name or pokes him on the shoulder he snaps out of it. It’s fine. They’re fine. After all, they have each other and that’s all they’ve ever needed to get by. 

It becomes less fine when Riley crawls through Shane’s bedroom window at three in the morning, frantic as he desperately explains that people are following him. That there are people reading his thoughts and following him and oh Yoba Shane, they’re going to get him. They’re out to get him and he didn’t know what else to do other than come seek out the security of his best friend.

Shane doesn’t know what to do either, so he does what he can. 

He very slowly, and with so much terror he thinks his heart may give out at the ripe old age of sixteen, walks Riley twenty three blocks to the hospital in the dark. 

The following weeks are torment. Riley’s parents are neglectful at best, fully absent at worst, and Shane takes it upon himself to be the stability his friend needs in his life right now. He picks up his homework from the school and does it on Riley’s behalf, brings him whatever he needs from home, and spends every visiting hour in the hospital with him. 

When the diagnosis finally comes in, Shane’s the one double and triple checking that Riley takes his medications properly. He’s the one to fill all the doctors appointments and support group meetings into the calendar, and he’s the one to drive Riley there. 

A friendship forged in fire, Riley had called it once he started doing a little better. They’d be bonded for life now. Shane thinks that arrangement suits him just fine, it’s not like he has other friends anyways. 

When Riley turns eighteen with only three months left of high school, he ages out of his care team and the standard of his treatment promptly drops to the depths of hell. 

Suddenly Shane finds himself not only scheduling appointments, but in them and furiously advocating for Riley’s care, or lack thereof. He’s monitoring and documenting all the horrible side effects he’s having, only for the doctors to shrug and tell him that’s just how it’s going to be. 

He’s the one tracking his friend down by piecing together nonsensical texts; like clues from a midnight scavenger hunt and scraping Riley out of a gutter. 

He’s the one that ends up defending his best friend from the system that fails him. 

After writing a lot of letters begging for help, Shane gets Riley accepted into a specialised clinic. It’s not perfect, far from it, but at least they seem to care when Riley reports having debilitating side effects or when the medications stop working as well as they had been.

By some miracle, Riley is stable and well enough to graduate high school by the time summer rolls around, and even gets into a small, local university. 

Shane doesn’t think twice about throwing out all his acceptance letters other than the one to that school. Sure, he could have gone somewhere more prestigious, but without Riley? Not happening. They’re forged in fire, after all. Where one goes, the other follows. 

Being out on their own in university brings a whole new side of life to light for them; girls. Not that they hadn’t been interested in high school, they had been, but with Riley’s illness coming on they hadn’t had the time or energy to devote to a relationship. 

Now, though, Shane is in a new girl’s bed every weekend. It never means anything, he never lets it, and he can’t get enough. He’s grown into himself and he sees the girls looking, and it’s nice. It’s a far cry from the last time he walked into unfamiliar halls of a new school. He’ll take the trade-in of bullying to bedding any day.

Riley takes a different approach to it all, though. He meets one girl during their second semester, and that’s it. 

“I’m telling you, man,” Riley sighs, laying spread eagle on the floor of their shared dorm room, “she’s the one, I just know it.”

“If you say so,” Shane replies, wrinkling his nose as he inspects the latest series of hickies on his neck and shoulder. He’s really going to have to ask next week’s girl to go easy with the teeth, too many marks lead to too many questions. 

Time is flying in school, Shane and Riley’s life has finally begun and they have no interest in slowing it down.

Only three months after they graduate with their bachelor’s degrees, Shane is both the best man and the maid of honour at Riley and Anna’s wedding. At the reception, he enters wearing half of a tuxedo and half of one of the bridesmaids dressed, much to everyone’s delight. 

Six months after that, when they’re all living in a shitty apartment together as they seek out jobs in their new fields, Shane’s the first one to be told about Anna’s pregnancy. 

Seven months after that, he’s outside a delivery room, pacing the hall as Jas comes into the world. 

An hour after that, she’s in his arms and he’s gasping out a ‘yes’ between sobs and just like that, he’s her godfather. 

Three months after that, the word cancer gets nervously mentioned for the first time while sitting at the dinner table. 

Six months after that, he holds a screaming Jas all dressed in black in the hallway of a funeral home while Riley says his final goodbyes to his wife.

Suddenly Shane wishes time would not only slow down, but stop and reverse. He’d give everything to go back and just have one more day. One more hour of dancing around trying to make Jas laugh as she first learned how. One more dinner at that greasy diner on the corner, the one the three of them frequented until Anna started to feel sick at the smell of it during her pregnancy. 

One more day in their dorm, all snuggled up on a twin sized bed that barely fit one of them, let alone three, watching terrible movies until the sun rose. 

Just... more. Shane wished for more. Cancer at twenty five is a cruel, horrible thing. Cancer at twenty five and leaving behind an infant? Shane vows that if he exists, Yoba will have to beg mercy from him when it’s his time to go. 

Yet slowly, life goes on. Somehow, it goes on. 

Shane and Riley move in together, into a new place without the grief woven into its walls, and they try to live. Jas grows, and so does Riley. 

Shane doesn’t. 

No, instead Shane slowly falls into his mind. Slowly finds it harder to climb back out.

Slowly, until it’s fast. 

He’s somewhere. Driving, as he often does overnight now. He and Riley share a car, and he likes to make sure Riley has access to it during the days so he can take Jas out. She’s three now, and she adores the park. The kid is determined to master the monkey bars and it’s the cutest shit Shane has ever seen. 

However, driving is one of the only things that soothes Shane’s racing thoughts, so he does it when he can. 

It’s been a week since he could go for a proper drive. Jas has been sick, and keeping him and Riley busy, not that Shane would complain. That kid means the world to him, after all. He wants to be there for her if she’s sick. He wants to be there at any point if she needs him. 

His demons are strong though, and he needs a drive. 

At two in the morning, a text comes through from Riley.

Riley:

Home soon?

Shane ignores it. No, he won’t be home soon, not if he can help it. He’s having a particularly difficult time outrunning his thoughts tonight; he needs to take this to the mountains. 

Up to the lookout over the city. No people, no cell service, no railing at the drop off. 

He wouldn’t actually do it, but it’s tempting sometimes. When his demons get too hard to outrun in a car, the idea of outrunning them in a freefall can be an intriguing one.

Riley though, and Jas. He could never do that to them. 

He stays at the lookout until four. 

As soon as he gets back in range of the cell towers, his phone explodes and his demons crash down around him. 

The mugger had chosen him because of Jas. 

“He had his kid,” he’d said, “I figured he wouldn’t put up a fight.”

Jas still had a fever, and without the car and with Shane gone and out of reach, Riley had set off to carry Jas to the twenty-four hour pharmacy for more children's tylenol. Shane had given her their last dose before she went to bed and they’d figured she’d be okay until the morning. Seems not. 

The guy had thought Riley was reaching for a gun in his back pocket as opposed to the wallet he said he was grabbing, choosing to shoot first and ask later. 

Now Shane paces a sterile interrogation room at the police station with a wailing Jas in his arms, still with a burning fever and now very, very traumatised. 

It doesn’t fully hit Shane until hours later, once he’s putting his last signature on the paperwork, that he now has a kid. All those years ago, agreeing to be her godfather, this is why. 

He looks down at Jas, asleep in his lap with her thumb in her mouth and her cheeks still too flushed for his comfort, and fuck. She’s his kid now. His responsibility, and his alone. 

They move again, though this time it’s not to outrun grief, but born from necessity. Shane doesn’t make enough to afford to stay in the place he and Riley had been renting. He doesn’t even make enough to stay in the same neighbourhood. 

All in all, Shane and Jas move three times in the following two years. Each time somewhere cheaper, and by the end Shane is sleeping on the sofa so Jas can have her own room. He’s treading water financially for now, but he can’t maintain it much longer. He’s slowly sinking. 

When Jas turns five, Shane breaks. He digs through his phone for a number he’d saved as a teenager, thinking he’d never need it again. How wrong he was. 

It’s late, well past the acceptable hours to call someone, but she picks up. That's what she said, wasn't it? She’d always pick up when he needed her. 

“Marnie,” Shane rasps, feeling like that scared and abandoned fourteen year old again, sitting in her guest room crying himself to sleep after being dumped there for weeks at a time by his parents, “I need help.”

Shane packs up their place over the next few days and by the weekend, he has Jas on a bus out to Pelican Town. She’s having a great time watching the mountains roll by as they leave the city behind them, and that works for Shane right now. 

Over these last two years he’s slowly felt himself fading away. He’s always there for Jas, always, but in the small moments he has for himself he finds he no longer knows who he is. 

He’s been living for too long crippled by trauma and grief, too needed by Riley and then Jas to have any time to heal. Now, with the cracks in his soul running as deep as they are, he thinks perhaps healing isn’t a possibility for him anymore. 

Jas takes to the ranch like a fish to water, and once she’s in bed on the first night Marnie pulls him into a hug nearly tight enough to fuse the broken pieces of him back together. 

Nearly, but not quite. 

Because after she lets go, Shane walks himself into town, up the saloon stairs, and tries to drown those demons once and for all.

If he’s going to sink, they’re coming with him. 

[amesemii]

Anything she wants.

A/N: HEY YALLL this took a lil long an im sorrryyyy!!! i haven’t made my rules yet so just don’t act like idiots or ill block you💋💋 this was my first time writing in a while and im a little rusty😩 tryna keep up with yall and the new trends in writing tho!! feedback is always appreciated so please don’t ever hesitate❤️💋.

WK; 1.1k

summary: your father forces you last minute to attend a meeting with him to get you out of the house and you meet a certain someone who wants to give the spoiled girl a try.

tw; nothing really, he calls you mama, he lowk a simp, flaunts his money too😒, daddy’s girl, spoiled yn, just be aware ig

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠

“Y/N please come down, it’s time to leave” your father yells up the stairs, and you rush to tie your heels up. Your father knew you took long to get ready so you don’t know why the hell he trying to rush you now when he only let you know of this event a few hours ago.

That was one of the things your father did that you didn’t like much and he was quick to apologize and get you a gift knowing you wanted to look your best in front of other people,he couldn’t tell his lovely daughter no. You were his pride and joy being the only girl out of 2 children. Your older brother long gone a few hours away with your lovely sister in law and your niece.(who you could argue is more spoiled than you)

So now you’re here in the blacked out car with your dad going to some random business party that you didn’t even wanna be at but at least you’ve got your card(your dads card) so you can sit and online shop while your father mingles with his partners.

You sit there scrolling on Amazon just adding things you think are cute to your cart, not even caring to look to into the details. Daddy will handle that, you think to yourself as you add a new vanity to the cart. You’re just scrolling through things when you hear someone mumbling in your ear

“You sure are a spoiled little girl aren’t you?” You look up startled to see a man that should be described as nothing BUT sexy. Tattoos adorning he lights lined body grillz and chains glistening short black hair and he was looking just SO good. But that was besides the point, why was he all up in ya phone?

“An you sure are nosey” you go back to scrolling on your phone now having had moved on to another store until you feel him sit next to you and you try to ignore him but you can feel his eyes grazing over your outfit, you’re about to speak up but he’s quick to interrupt.

“I’m Constance but you can call me Connie , and you are?” He’s not mumbling anymore and you’re pretty sure you hear a little accent but you’re not sure from what.

You look up at him from your phone and introduce yourself but that’s not enough for him, he wants to get to know you. You look pretty, smell good, and got an attitude. His favorite mix. You guys talk for a bit, mostly trying to get to know each other and flirting a bit till he asks a certain question.

“Let me take you out mama”

You actually let out a chuckle at that because there was no way In hell he wanted to fuck with you. You’re too expensive and hard to deal with, you know this for a fact because your brother makes sure to tell you every other day on the phone how you and his daughter make flies come out his wallet.

“You can’t handle me” you say smirking at him and his eyes darken and he’s quick to retort “I’m pretty sure I can handle a little girl like you.” And you scoff cause who tf he calling little?? Ain’t nun lil bout you. “Tuh show me then.” He hands you his phone and you put your number in but he looks confused and excite out and goes to show u other apps.

He goes from cash app, to a regular bank, to a bank you’ve never heard of and then still pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket. “I’m pretty sure I can handle you pretty.” And you can’t help but smile a little bit. “We’ll see Constance.” “I said you can call me connie”

“I know.” You chose to call him by his government because why not try to get under his skin? You look up to see your father coming towards you two and you sit up straight and smile “hey dad!” You start hoping and praying that he says it’s time to go home so you can plot.

“Hi baby girl, are you ready to go?” And you nod your head but go to introduce your father and Connie and they shake hands, you give Connie a side hug as you prepare to leave.

You and your father get to the car and you both slide into the back and he’s quick to start questioning you “so is he your boyfriend?” And you’re quick to say no. You only just met him an hour ago, he was NOT your boyfriend.

the rest of the ride was silent after your father basically played 21 questions. you just chill texting some of your friends and watching instagram reels til a text pops up on your phone.

you had to think for a second about that. did you want to lie and say you had plans or just tell him nothing? you take a second to decide and choose to tell the truth.

you just decide to leave him on read since your ride pulls up to your house. you and your father get out and he asks you what you want for dinner so he can order it and you tell him then quickly get upstairs.

you get to your room and open the door and are hit my a breeze. damn! you always leave that fan on to make sure you don’t get hit but it’s cold as a motherfucka in here.

you go to your closet and pick out some pijamas and go into your bathroom. you turn on the shower and wait for it to get hot and you step in.

you wash your body and just think. did you really wanna go on this date with connie? you know if you were to get hurt your father would handle the situation, so that wasn’t a worry.

you were worried about yourself, you didn’t want yourself to fall for him just cause he makes you feel nice and can give you butterflies. he could be just live everybody else.

but he might not be. it wouldn’t hurt to give him a chance and by now you already know what to look out for. so you turn off the shower and go out to your room.

you grab your shea butter and body oils, to lotion yourself and get dressed. as soon as you’re done, you decide to text connie back.

you can’t help but smirk to yourself in anticipation of what was to come tomorrow. you were gonna enjoy this

[love-fictional-ppl]

Heath Ledger’s joker as a bf

Pairings: joker x fem!reader

Warnings: language, joker (he needs his own warning) marijuana, blood, criminal activities🥸 smut, etc.

A/N: requested by my home girl😭🤞 (h/c) is hair color

SFW:

On the occasion he gives you a gift, just remember he didn’t pay for it

Both of you dying your hair together and then getting into a hair dye fight where in the end both of you are covered in green and (h/c)

Will force you to rob a bank with him atleast once

If, IF he showers he will make you join him

He smokes/takes Eddies so going to McDonald’s in the middle of the night is a routine at this point

Nighttime, dancing in the rain in Gotham together

Batman impersonations are your inside joke

Sharing your intrusive thoughts with each other and laughing about it like it’s the most normal thing ever

He will not go to the hospital unless he’s shot really badly so most the time he will have you help clean him up after getting into with Bruce.

If you ask him to do his hair or make up (not clown make up) he might say yes but only after a certain exchange iykyk

Will not tell you his real name until like 8 months into your relationship and he does it in the most random and casual way ever. It makes me giggle so lemme play it out for you😭

You’re sat at the table in the kitchen eating cereal while reading the newspaper, Joker sleeping still or so you thought.

“Jack.”

You jump out of the chair landing on the grown, on your ass. Looking up you see the joker standing in the doorway. You annoyed now half-shout, “Who tf is jack?!”

“Me,” he responds simply, “my name is jack.”

“Oh. Well next time don’t scare me!”

Randomly asks shit like “would you rather your brain in a cockroach’s body or a cockroach’s brain in your body?”

Does not filter himself in public so strangers do get details about your sex life

AND SPEAKING OF WHICH

TIME FOR THE NSFW PART

NSFW:

He definitely is a fan of doggy style, when you do doggy he like to put you in a chokehold

Likes to tie you up

He’s dominant that’s a fact, if you want to top him you gotta plead a little bit

Will ask to try new things a lot

Loves getting head more than giving it I feel like

Likes to cum in you or on your stomach

Overstimulation king 👑

Has a mushroom tip🫥

Tbh gives no fucks about ppl being around like he has fingered you in front of a train full of people

He hates condoms but doesn’t want kids so you better be on the pill or ready for the consequences

Degrades you and call you shit like:

“Slut”

“Whore”

“Cock sleeve”

“Cum dump”

But he also will mix nicer pet names in like:

“Pretty girl”

“Hot stuff”

“Sugar”

“Baby”

“Good lookin’”

He sucks with aftercare ngl

Most he’ll do is bring you water and cuddle a bit

Tbh that’s all I can think of😭😭😭

[ninyard]

last but most certainly not least. pt 3 of the bonus chapters (TKM)

Aaron's chapter (once again going to be putting like. the whole thing here.)

One of these days Aaron would love to know what about that mouthy liar had people bending over backwards for him [...] He could waste his time being angry, or he could go the tried-and-true Minyard route of infuriating everyone else around him.

i love how much he despises neil fr. and the Minyard route???? i love that

"Hey, Bee," Aaron said.

why did this like. give me such nathaniel neil vibes. hes so cunty for this im obsessed

Andrew looked relaxed where he was tucked into the corner of the couch, one knee hugged loosely to his chest, but Aaron wasn't fooled. They were twins: there was too much of them in each other despite all the years they'd spent apart.

one) andrew is so cosy <333 two) ouch. THERE WAS TOO MUCH OF THEM IN EACH OTHER DESPITE ALL THE YEARS THEY'D SPENT APART????? literally screaming into a pillow at this one

"Did you know Andrew's fucking Neil?" [...] Andrew cut in with a flat, "I'm not." Andrew wouldn't waste his breath lying when Aaron was right here to argue with him, but Aaron knew his accusation wasn't far off the mark. [...] That Andrew hadn't sealed the deal yet was the least important detail, but Aaron was willing to be an ass about it.

I love that andrew is banking on the technicality that like. no he's not. they haven't. and aaron saying andrew hadn't "sealed the deal" has me SCREAMING. thats so funny

"Go slash some tires, or whatever it is you do for fun."

HES SO FUNNYYY

"You made him a priority," Aaron said. "[...] but for the record, I think he's an insufferable asshole. [...] Exy this, Exy that, get a fucking hobby. Oh, but i guess he did?" He sent a pointed look at Andrew.

GET A FUCKING HOBBY. aaron minyard i'd die for you.

"You know, I asked him about you. I asked him if he was taking advantage of you. He tried to punch me out." "You bring out that urge in people," Andrew said.

i'm so glad that we know now that andrew knows about this interaction. like i wonder how he felt hearing that.

"Betsy and I were talking about Monday." [...] Andrew hadn't called her "Betsy" in over a year. He'd never seen Andrew so hard on a back foot, and it was as terrifying as it was thrilling. [...] Andrew didn't want to talk about Neil with Dobson because once he broached that subject he either had to lie to all of them or admit Neil was more important that he wanted him to be.

throwing up, literally no words just throwing up

"I like Neil's promise ring, by the way."

AARONNNNN. HIS PROMISE RING. PLEASE. and also the "Matching set, very cute." why is he so funny

Andrew's smile was all ice, and he wielded honesty like a knife. "They're not decorative, you ignorant little shit. Someone like you wouldn't understand the importance of hiding scars." [...] Aaron would have to figure it out later, but not now. Andrew was trying to pull him off track and [...] he'd never find his way back if he followed it to whatever ugly truth Andrew was hiding. He forced Andrew words aside to haunt him later

this just made me wonder if there's every going to be a moment where aaron figures out what this means. like. my stomach feels sick thinking about it just him having this moment where it clicks and makes sense and he realises what andrew's hiding and will they ever be able to have that conversation?????

"It bother you your pet project is queer?"

AARON

"I'm not always okay with what he is, but these days it's less that he's gay it's that he's [...] weaponized it. It took him so long to come to terms with it that now he lashes out first, pushing as hard as he can to figure out who's safe and who isn't."

nicky baby :(( why does this make me so sad

"I don't care that you're gay, and I don't care that you picked the literal most irritating person on the planet to fall for. I care that you're being a hypocrite."

Aaron Minyard #1 neil josten hater.

Andrew was picking idly at his jeans: an agitated tic that had mostly disappeared once his medicine was out of his system. [...] Maybe he needed a few more moments to come to terms with their easy acceptance. [...] Finding out how important he was to Andrew was an ongoing, eye-opening experience. Finding out just how important Dobson was, that Andrew wouldn't risk her unfavourable opinion by telling her the truth about his sexuality, was equally fascinating. [...] She truly mattered to Andrew when so few people did anymore.

once again andrew :((( my boy :((( why am i crying

"I love Katelyn. I love her more than anything. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I am trying so goddamned hard to wait until graduation because you asked me to. So why aren't you doing the same?" "You have abysmal taste in girls," Andrew told him.

KATEAARON YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO MEEE

"Neurosurgeon, right?" [...] He and [his mother] had been watching a medical drama with dinner while Andrew hovered silent and distant in the doorway, and Aaron had foolishly said, I want to do that. His mother laughed him out of the room for daring to think he could make anything of himself."

one) andrew talking about aaron to bee two) andrew being the only person who remembered or knew he wanted to be a neurosurgeon three) his mom laughing at him :(( for daring the think he could make anything of himself???? what the fuck and also andrew signing to the team for aaron's sake to get him through college to follow his dreams??? sobbing

"I'm trying, okay? I'm trying. Years too late, I know, but you refused me first. I begged you to come home with me. You can't blame me for not trusting you." "I am capable of multitasking," Andrew said. Aaron heard what he didn't say: I blame us both.

SDHFGAOLFGAJRDHGJDF

"She's just another tiny skirt here to use him up and distract him from what he wants."

ANDREW

"My hands are full with too many idiots," Andrew said. "When she shows her true colors, I will not have the energy to put him together again."

one) liar. i know you'd go to the ends of the earth again and again and again for him. two) TOO MANY IDIOTS

"You can't be brothers while you are each other's jailors."

:D screaming

"Says the man dating a mafioso." "I'm not dating him," Andrew said, with a hint of impatience. Aaron saw right through him, and it was enough to make him smile as he turned his gaze out the window. "Liar."

sobbing. they love each other so much and Andrew is such a liar and i can't deal with them. they kill me

[angelicsjn]

I was the one that submitted the form and it had Hayden as my favourite with the passing comment that I made mad money just so he can have his career.

I know in the Domestic Life ask, he fears settling down due to the fact that he'd need to give up his photography for something more stable. But ha! Sike! His darling makes 6+ figures and is willing to support him fully. The cutie is gonna get the house husband treatment but hey, he gets to pursue photography with a big safety net. If anything, his photography profits is their play money for vacations and getting pampered together.

So, how would Hayden react to that? Would he enjoy it and settle down sooner?

- ✨ Anon

HAYDEN WEST.

A N: I love this so much. When I read your answer, something lit up inside of me. This is so real. Honestly, the dynamic sort of reminds me of Levi and William on tiktok. Their relationship are my actual goals... ps. If you see any typos and mistakes, no, you didn't. Look away, it never existed.

A B O U T: Hayden is apprehensive about settling down, but you have funds to do so. How does he feel about it? Read to find out.

W A R N I N G S: None. Other than Hayden being a sweetheart.

As stated in an old post, Hayden's only setback in settling down is his career path, and he knows that it's not sustainable in the long run.

Hayden isn't the type to sacrifice his passions to make life comfortable; his passions are his life. He would be nothing without them.

But he knows that at some point he will have to decide on what path he will take because he doesn't only have to pay for himself now, he also has you in his life.

But! Maybe there's another solution...?

Hayden's obsession with you grew in a short space of time, he went from watching you; hoping that you'd look his way one day to sleeping in your bed feeling more loved than he has ever been loved before. He takes care of you, you take care of him and even though you don't know about all the things he's done behind the scenes, you know how deeply he loves you. He just has a way of knowing you, understanding you like no other.

One thing that he never found out was how much money you had in your bank. Really, Hayden doesn't care much for that kind of thing. Whilst stalking you, he never pressed much attention into what jobs you did, where your money came from and how much you had; money is just a thing to survive to him. He wanted to know the silly and deep things about you.

He never questioned it either due to the fact that you live humbly — sure, more well off than him, but that wouldn't be hard, Hayden didn't grow up in the best of areas. To him a home cooked meal each day is a privilege and reward, so he knew you were rich in sense of. But not in the way you actually are.

When the conversation of moving in together comes up he sort of freezes. He didn't see how you'd both survive. Besides his general insecurities of you growing out of love for him — he saw how his parents were growing up — he was also shitting bricks over how to get a place and keep it without sacrificing everything and living unhappily.

A huge part of him felt that insecurity riddle it's way into his system over the fact that he, a man, can't provide. That's his job... right? How can he be considered a good man. A good boyfriend. If he can't even look after you?

But you were adamant. You knew he was the one, you've never felt so seen by someone before. He understands you, respects you, loves you for who you are. And that's when the conversation comes up...

"We can do this, Hayden." You said, watching him as his eyes scan across the screen. He was gobsmacked. How the fuck did he miss this? After all that time watching you he missed out the fact that you're loaded, maybe you landed the job yourself. Maybe it's a family thing. Who knows. He didn't know if he was meant to be impressed with you. Or pissed off that you didn't tell him. Or pissed off with himself for missing out such a big detail in your life. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just wanted to be seen for more than what I can offer." You finished, and he understood — not from personal experience. But he got it.

"I know." He mumbled, pushing the laptop away. "I understand, it's okay. I'd have done the same." Hayden meant it, you could tell as he flashed his usual lopsidedely shy smile, his eyes soft and warm. He took your hand and pressed a kiss against your knuckles. "But I want to help out."

You knew how he felt, it was clear as he looked away. He felt small. It wasn't a secret that you lead the relationship, it was natural. The pants fit you better and you both prefer it that way. But you understood how he felt in that moment, what can he give back when he doesn't have much to give.

"Focus on your studies. Continue with your photography and make a business out of it." You said, squeezing his hand in yours. "If you want, you can help out around the house, keep your part time job, I don't know. Anything. It's fine."

Hayden needed some time to think about it, let it roll around in his head until he finally made his decision...

Ultimately, you both knew what would work best. So you tested it out.

Pushing aside his initial insecurities, he realised that the dynamic between you both worked perfectly and if anything you had both never been closer.

Half a year later you're both happy and thriving. The house is beautiful and Hayden even has the space for his own room thats dedicated to his interests and photography, with the saved up money he's gained, thanks to you for being the main provider, he was able to set his business up more professionally and buy better equipment! He's able to turn his dream into a job and he's so grateful and happy for that.

The two of you live happily in your own bubble, Hayden being the homebody that he is, he thrives in his peace and space, even better when you're home with him. He's picked up on new hobbies in the meanwhile, mainly things to make the house a home.

From DIY to crochet, he's making things for the house left right and center and the place feels so cosy and happy.

"I noticed the new pillow covers." You said, something he obviously made, and it looks cute. "Thanks. I'm doing a selection for the different seasons." He shrugged, eating the meal he cooked for you both not long ago.

He cooked you your favourite meal, something he's always cooked for you. You enjoyed it, especially after a hard day at work.

Later that night you would watch movies together in the comfort of your living room, cuddling and eating snacks before accidentally falling asleep.

At first he was hesitant, he didn't want to feel like he wasn't giving you anything back. But in reality he had given you so much more than the both of you realised. Due to you being so busy making the money, he made the house a home and gave you a reason to love going back home to feel loved and secure.

[eyedoeluhn]

Surprise, I think Brocktons celestial forge is handling characters badly. I don’t think the current “main pairing” (used loosely as possible since it’s one date) for our main character, Joe, is good. At all.

Crystal/Joe is at best extremely bland and basically nonexistent in the ideal platonic form of BCF that exists in a plane of perfect forms. In the real world I think it’s pretty creepy and Joe is also a massive piece of shit.

For context, to those uninitiated to BCF Joe is an ‘oc’ based off of a canonical character who is mentioned in one line and never named or expanded on. Specifically he is the man who attended college with Parian and contributed to her trigger by pressuring her to date him. That is a can of worms for another post because my god is this a terrible decision and Parian is handled fucking horribly. But LordRoustAbout has taken it on himself to expand with details on this event.

there’s an attempt to make Joe sympathetic, his perusal of Parian was fueled partially by a total social ineptitude and the spurring of his classmates, and he also found the entire situation harmful and ended up dropping out partially related to this and it tied into his own trigger event. Which….alright, whatever. But this did leave Joe with an aversion to romance and also apparently an incurable inability to understand it beyond bare minimums despite eight million powers related to it. This came up several times as online shipping is a major concern for Lord and thus Joe, but he didn’t have a love interest until Crystal.

The dissolution of New Wave is a major part of BCF. Frequently we have paused to see their points of view on how much of a big deal this is. In short, Joe, in a move at the time was unilaterally acknowledged as really fucking stupid but then he now pretends wasn’t his fault, confronts Panacea after arming the Undersiders for the bank job which went significantly worse for the Wards. He acknowledges he’s the person who did this, then goes on a long rant about what his ‘fanon shard’ has told him and trigger theory, basically bringing up Panacea’s actual father but more importantly the fact that there’s been infidelity within New Wave. This entire conversation is recorded and gets back to them. This is consequentially a huge fucking deal and is also timed just right to fuck over a lot of New Wave’s operations just in time for shit to get serious. So the city is fucking falling apart and basically looks like the Leviathan decided to pop in early with eight million effects, and Crystals entire family (yes including Lightstar, it was bad enough that he moved all the way back just to try and mediate the situation)is actively also falling apart, and these are both directly Joe’s fault. Now, you say, well to be nice to Joe it’s not his fault that Brandish and Manpower fucked or anything. Which is true, he didn’tcause the rift, but he is the one who voluntarily instigated the situation it for literally no reason for what became the worst possible moment, and is now not telling Crystal this.

Joe has met Crystal around three times, once in college, once at an event where she asks him out because he’s so hot and once on a date. The amount of stress Crystal is under as both her family life and her life in Brockton literally falls apart at the seams is pretty blatantly clear. Joe just does not fucking care. He does not find it that weird that he’s lying to this woman to date her about not knowing intimate details about her life or interfering with it. She has absolutely no idea Joe is the fucking maniac terrorizing her city or is the guy who got her cousin locked up for this entire time and destroyed her position as a cape either. She is completely oblivious, which I find extremely fucking weird.

Also this is WORM. Crystal is like, eighteen, nineteen or something like that. The most generous possible aging of Joe is in his early twenties. I think literally every part of this relationship gives me the creeps. I want Joe to stay far away from her.

Oh, and the date chapter produced what for me personally is in the running for one of the worst moments in all of BCF.

What. The. Fuck.

Joe. What the FUCK is wrong with you?

the entire city is a fucking warzone because of him. Until like, five minutes ago, there was active lava flow, giant streaks of frozen land, FUCKING GLASS SHARD CLOUDS. Half the city is under a field that blocks all electrical devices from fucking working, there’s giant craters and the Protectorate, New Wave, PRT, police department, hospitals, and firefighters were all targeted during the attacks so they’re operating at half fucking capacity with a million other problems that are half because Joe didn’t want to use more than one robot (DESPITE SHOWING HE COULD INSTANTLY FABRICATE MORE HIS FIRST OUTING) and half things he could fix instantly but chooses to not, and one hundred percent things directly attributed to him.

So, Brook here is telling Joe about the fact that she is fucking volunteering with multiple groups to raise funds and help the community in this absolute fucking mess that he caused, a completely normal COLLEGE STUDENT (Joe is a fucking dropout) with NO POWERS who is doing MORE THAN JOE EVER HAS to help these people

and his first instinct is to snark that obviously her major is easy.

Joe.

YOU DROPPED OUT. You lazy, malicious piece of shit are going to sit here and give this woman shit for cleaning up your mess. You aren’t fucking funny. You’re evil, frankly, and this entire date pains me to read. This isn’t funny. This isn’t endearing. I don’t feel happy that Joe is being ooh relatable he’s getting snippy. I feel frustrated that he’s avoided any meaningful effort to anything positive and then regards this random person who’s been perfectly nice to him and is frankly an incredible human being with derision.

fuck you joe. Jesus Christ.

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Fernando/Lance

you might enjoy: Canadian Fest, eh - for more Lance content.

If your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and I will remove it immediately, no questions asked. I have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop me a message🤍

have a pairing you want me to do next? please read the faqs and then head to my inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

i won't lie to you, anon... I thought we'd agreed on Strollonso as the pairing name. 🤭 my vote still goes to Lando.

i hope you enjoy these ❗️🤍

nsfw: El Dick Plan by @waddlingpenguin | E | 800 Lawrence and Fernando have a misunderstanding at the dinner table. This fic is hilarious - unashamedly unhinged, just as Strollonso should be, and so unbelievably funny. This was one of the first Lance/Fernando fics I read. I think it rearranged my brain a little bit.

'In fact, Lance literally has his foot so far up Fernando’s pant leg that Stoffel is surprised he’s not choking on Canadian toes each time he opens his mouth to talk to the engineers.'

shatter my life apart (see me for somebody else) by @vicsy | M | 1.4k An exploration of Lance and Fernando's relationship. This is a stunning fic. This author has just the most beautiful writing style - it's like poetry, and flows in the most stunning way. This is as much a love letter to Lance as it is to Strollonso - I really, really loved this one.

'Fernando Alonso is a perpetual wildcard and Lance builds his attitude around this little image, prepared for some sort of psychological warfare but it never happens.'

nsfw: victor's spoil by venerat | E | 1.9k Following Fernando's first pole for Aston Martin, Lance is invited to his room - a Winner's Room AU. The vibes here are suitably unhinged/rancid/possessive. If I were to recommend a fic to help someone get Strollonso, to understand the essence of who they are together, I would recommend this one. I love everything this author writes.

'Imagining Fernando with them makes Lance want to chew through wire. Again: fucked up, truly and extensively. He’s just really fucked up about Fernando.'

nsfw: I make two grand an hour by @kritischetheologie | E | 3.1k Lance meets Fernando for the first time at a sponsor event. I adored this fic. It is so funny and well-characterised and hot. One thing that I really love about this author is their ability to weave in detail - you could read their fics over and over again, and still pick up something new each and every time. It just makes for the richest, most delicious stories that draw you in every last time.

'(Lance had almost just said fuck it and gone into banking when he graduated two years ago, like he’d always known he probably would eventually, ever since the day he showed up at St. Andrews and realized that the entire world economy ran on fake numbers on a half-dozen computer screens, but the whole point of trust funds was supposed to be not having to be boring. Who the fuck else was going to make art? Humanity needed him to be living dramatically, falling in love with a thousand beautiful men whose lips he could immortalize in poetry.)'

nsfw: green light, red wine (and i don't feel fine) by @vicsy | E | 9k (wip) Fernando is a crime boss caught in a long-standing feud with Lawrence Stroll - things get complicated when he meets Lance. This fic is fantastic. The vibes are unmatched. This author has such a beautiful, almost melodic writing style, which I love. Also. This is fucking hot. 10/10.

'There aren’t many opportunities Fernando deliberately missed in his life. He wouldn’t be on top if he did. Right next to him, clad in a tight white t-shirt, sits an opportunity for a power move, the one Fernando would take all the way.'

nsfw: silver platter by @wewentcarracing | E | 9.7k Lance and Fernando grow closer, much to Esteban's dismay. This is delicious. Full of unhinged and intense moments. Every word of this is perfection; something I particularly appreciate about this author is their ability to build tension - you won't be able to put this story down once you've started it. Perfection.

'Lance laughs, off-guard and delighted. Fernando has this way of deciding what's true in his own mind and then forcing it into reality with brute strength alone. He's decided that Lance will make it to the podium this year, and so he will. It feels so, so good to hear coming from another driver—any driver, really, but the fact that it’s Fernando. Two-time WDC. Veteran. It doesn't feel like he's being toyed with; it feels real.'

nsfw: Not Even Jail by @baldrmoon | E | 9.9k (wip) Lance is a rookie detective with a new partner - they've met before. This is such a fantastic start to what I know is going to be an incredible story. The world-building here is fantastic. A world away from F1, but with so many of the dynamics and relationships mirrored in a totally new setting that feels very organic and true-to-life. It's just very well done, and I am excited to see what the author does next!

'Lance was charmed almost despite himself. The guy – Fernando, Lance made a mental correction, – smiled, a bit sideways, narrowing his eyes. Lance immediately felt flustered under his intense stare.'

[adiduck]

WIP Wednesday

Semi-spicy scene for Operation Groundhog AU today ;) Enjoy!

-

Ice hears about the training for the next couple of days via dry, written reports from Cyclone, from Warlock, from Mav himself. Mav puts the twelve aviators from 2019 on hops running the first half of the course--goes easy on them with the distance from the ground and the time they have to reach the target.

Lieutenants Kazansky and Mitchell, however, he’s got running drills in their jets--basic maneuvers, dogfights, canyon runs well over the heads of the other aviators. They’re good, is the general consensus--Ice knows that already--but they’ve never been in an F-18E before. It’s smaller than they’re used to. Not faster, but more maneuverable. It has different tics, different eccentricities, and it doesn’t do that semi-disturbing shimmy that the Tomcats, beautiful beasts that they were, tended to do when you held the rudder too long on the bank. They’re making progress--fast progress--but they’re not really running the course.

Mav’s getting anxious.

At home, Mav whispers more details into Ice’s neck and shoulder at night, collapsing exhausted into a chair in Ice’s office or into Ice’s side on the couch or into bed beside Ice when he finally gets home--too late, exhausted, and starving. Lieutenant Mitchell is restless. Lieutenant Bradshaw hesitates to reach the speeds he will need, and won’t listen to Mav when he tells him to stop thinking so hard. Lieutenant Seresin won’t stay with his wingman.

He’s worried about Lieutenant Kazansky, too, but he seems less inclined to complain to Ice about it. Which, honestly, is hilarious.

Instead, he gets a lot of whining. “He calls me ‘sir’, and it’s so unimaginably weird,” Mav complains. “It throws me every time--not a good look. I’ve been a Captain for six years, Ice!”

“That does sound like a problem for you,” Ice croaks out. It’s been a good day--thanks to more ibuprofen and tylenol than he should probably take, but still. It’s rare that he has a voice this late at night, usually. He’s enjoying it, and very thoroughly ignoring Mav’s pointed looks to rest it. As though Ice’s voice can be stored up for special occasions or something.

Mav kicks him, and then settles back into Ice’s side to continue complaining. “It’s definitely not helping,” he grumbles. “I’m having a hard enough time getting these kids to respect me. And mini-me is not fucking helping with his bullshit.”

Ice smiles and doesn’t say anything. Mav, probably sensing that Ice is mentally making fun of him uproariously, kicks him again.

“It’s not my fault,” he grumbles. “I usually just get everyone to call me by my call-sign, but I can’t this time because there’s fucking two Mavericks running around, and really it’s more important they bond with him. And--well, you’ve never called me ‘sir’ in your life, and it’s bizarre.”

…Huh. Ice thinks about that a minute. “You know,” he says, and lets the hand that’s been tracing Mav’s shoulders--careful of the harness bruises--press down with slightly more intent. “If the issue is you’re not used to it, we could practice.”

Mav stills. “Practice.”

“Mhm,” Ice says, and shifts just a little, so that their legs slot together just slightly more securely, so that he can turn his head, draw his lips down Mav’s temple towards his ear, draw his fingers further down the lines of Mav’s back, pressed against his spine. “Reporting for duty, sir,” he whispers into Mav’s ear, and grins as he feels it go hot, as Mav’s face goes bright red and the position of their hips betrays a sudden, burning interest.

“Jesus,” Mav chokes. “You are going to kill me.”

“That’s not a no,” Ice says. “Sir.”

Mav lunges up and forward all at once, body dragging up Ice’s and mouth crashing into Ice’s mouth with an intent that burns straight down to Ice’s toes. Ice gasps, tilts his head back to give Mav a better angle, lets Mav slide his tongue past Ice’s teeth, deliberate and claiming.

“And what do I call you, in this scenario,” Mav near-growls, running his hands down Ice’s sides like Ice is his to touch, to hold--possessive and claiming and all the things Ice would never have admitted to wanting, thirty-some-odd years ago.

“Whatever you want,” Ice suggests, “Sir,” and gets kissed absolutely breathless again for his efforts.

“Well then, Kazansky,” Mav offers, Ice’s last name on his tongue like a caress. “Put your hands above your head for me.”

“Yes, sir,” Ice says, and follows orders, watches Mav’s pupils expand with a satisfaction that burns in his gut and extends up and out.

“Fucking Christ,” Mav says.

“Still weird, then? I’ll have to try harder.”

Mav leans forward and bites at Ice’s lips.

“You’ll have to try harder--” he prompts, into Ice’s mouth.

“Sir,” Ice snaps out.

And then things get a little less defined, for a little while.

-

Mav: I think we miscalculated

Ice: ?

Mav: I walked in, mini-you called me 'sir', and it was, ah, uncomfortable for VERY DIFFERENT reasons this time

Ice: Oh my god

Mav: I also refer to him pretty exclusively by his last name Ice what do I do

Ice: 🤣

Mav: THIS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR EMOJIS

[the-offside-rule]

Mason Mount (Chelsea) - Coffee Talks

Requested: on wattpad

Prompts: 44) "I'm just looking at your eyes."

49) "Stop smiling at me, I can't."

Warnings: nope

Running through the streets of London isnt exactly how Y/n imagined her Thursday morning. She more so expected to be doing normal physio assistant things, like maybe taking details or helping the Physiotherapist but no. Coffee runs. She quickly stumbled into the coffee shop to be faced with a massive line to the counter. She was given twenty minutes to be back, how was she gonna do that now? She took her phone out and called the clinic she worked for, waiting for them to answer. "Hello?" The familiar voice of her boss answered. "Hey, it's me Y/n? The line here is huge, I wont be able to be back on time." She explained. "I mean, take your time I suppose. Just be back before ten." She looked at the time. "But that's in twenty five minutes."

"Yes?"

"Nothing, I'll get back as soon as possible." She hung up and sighed, a string of curses being let out underneath her breath. "Next please!"

"Two caramel lattes, one hazelnut latte with hazelnut milk, a chai tea, three cappuccinos and an americano with soy milk and a sugar." She gasped out in one breath. The barista smiled at her. "Whatt size?" She thought for a moment. "Just give me them all large."

"£41.60 altogether please." Her jaw nearly hit the floor. "Jesus, that's gonna hurt the bank account." She chuckled, takingher card out to tap.

"I'm so sorry miss, it declined." Y/n groaned. "Are you sure?" The barista nodded. "Is there any way I could put this on a tab and pay later? My wages are in today." She shook her head. "I'm afraid not." Right then, she spotted a card being handed across her shoulder. "I'll pay-" She cut the polite stranger off. "No, I have cash." She quickly muttered, opening her purse and handing over a fifty pound note. Y/n received her change and quickly grabbed her coffee and speed walked towards the door. "Six pounds for a fucking cup of flavoured water and milk." She muttered, leaving the coffee shop. She heard a chuckle from someone behind her. She turned to see a man with brown hair, almost as if it was off of a Disney Prince. "Sorry, that was hilarious." He said. "Well it's true. Shouldn't be over 3 pounds. It wasnt where I'm from."

"Well, I'm here because you left your card for the tube at the counter." She looked down and saw him handing her a card. "Oh my god, thank you!" She exclaimed. "Could you just put it in my pocket please? My hands are full." The man put the card into her coat pocket and then went in front of her to open the door. "After you." He smiled. "Whhy thank you?" She paused and waited for his name. "Mason. And you're welcome?"

"Y/n." The smile stayed the same. "Nice name." Y/n shivered as she stood in the street. "Freezing, isnt it?" She said through jittering teeth. "I can give you a lift if you'd like. My cars only a minute away." Mason said pointing down the street. "No, no. I'm fine getting the tube." She said. "You sure?" She nodded. "Well I mean theres two stops I could get off at but the one that goes a bit further is three minutes closer to work." Mason smiled again. She kind of loved his smile. "It'll be quicker by car. Theres mental lines at the tube, especially this time of year." She thought to herself for a while before kindly accepting his offer. "As long as you aren't a serial killer." She joked. "Ah, my covers blown now." She giggled at his light hearted response. They continued talking until they reached his car. Now, Y/n expected something different, a car that someone his age would have like maybe a polo or a ford but what wasnt on her list was a custom black mercedes g wagon.

"This is your car?" He nodded and opened the door. "Just bought it. Real fast." He said. Y/n was dumbfounded. Who was this guy? "What are you, a doctor or something?" She asked, sitting into the car. "Nah, guess again." He closed the door and walked around to his side where he got in. "You a doctor maybe?" He shook his head and looked out the window to look for traffic. "How about celebrity? You a secret celebrity?" He grinned. "Something like that."

"Singer?"

"No."

"Actor?"

"No."

"Model?"

"Sometimes." Her face twisted. "What do you mean sometimes?" She asked. "Sometimes I'm asked to model soome stuff." She thought for a minute. "Footballer?" He looked over and nodded. "Chelsea?" He nodded again. "You're not Mason Mount are you?"

"And shes won it!" He exclaims. "So what is it that you do, since you know mine and all." He asked. "I'm a physio assistant. I graduated in September." Mason nodded. "Are you working in a hospital? A clinic?"

"I'm working in a clinic. I hate them all there but its work." She sighed and looked out the window. "Well, if you ever need, I've got links in Chelsea." He joked. "Ha, ha. How'd you get links there?" She joked back. "You know what I mean though. If you ever need out of there, just let me know." She smiled and looked out the window. "And how will I manage to do that?" She paused. "This is my stop." She said. As Mason pulled in, she turned back to face him, but was instead faced by his phone, opened. "Giving me an iPhone 11? How generous." She chuckled. "No, no, put your number in. That's how you're gonna message me about Chelsea." She smiled as she took his phone. "Or anything else."

Y/n typed her number in before handing it back. "Same goes for you. Thanks for the lift by the way." She smiled and hopped out, but by the time she turned around to wave goodbye, her prince charming was already gone, and nothing but a memory that made her smile like nothing ever had.

[johannestevans]

My Top 6 Films of 2023

Just some recommendations for my favourite new releases of last year!

Originally published on Cinemania.

2023 had a few knock-out hits as far as the cinema goes — obviously, people were very excited about the respective releases of Barbie and Oppenheimer, but my top films of the year were a bit different.

One thing I do think unites a lot of these — and a trend I hope to see from more films in the next few years — is a trend toward more earnestness and sincerity in scripts and plot lines, and I’m hoping that trend continues!

Without further ado, my top films of 2023:

They Cloned Tyrone (dir. Juel Taylor)

They Cloned Tyrone is a fucking triumph, and hands-down had my favourite costume design of the year — it at the same time feels very vintage in places, calling heavily on the Blaxploitation movies of the 1970s and their aesthetics while at the same time dragging in more modern— and dystopian — futuristic elements throughout. Teyonah Parris is a particular triumph as Yo-Yo, but the whole cast really rocks this whole flick.

This film feels in so many ways like a fever dream, layering disparate elements and tones, and for that is all the more hard-hitting with the horror and painful realism of its cynical central plot.

If you watch a single of the films recommended on this list, make it this one.

Down Low (dir. Rightor Doyle)

This film is weird as fuck, and it makes a lot out of leaning into that. Delving into the ugly reality of down-low hook-ups on gay dating apps and dialing the chaos that can arise from them up to the max, this is a surprisingly heartfelt look at gay loneliness and isolation in the white middle-class US.

It’s fast-paced and kooky with its dialogue — Lukas Gage, of Euphoria fame, co-wrote the script with Phoebe Fisher, and Gage’s particular style of verbose and down-right weird speeches are dotted through it — and while it ultimately ends in the death you know from the beginning is coming, it doesn’t feel like it’s wholly a tragedy.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023, dir. John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein)

I don’t think I need to go into great detail about this one — Dungeons and Dragons’ newest addition to its array of canons here is a spellbinding and delightful watch. A lot of the problem with fantasy films and TV shows the past few years has been how painfully over-ironic they are, with none of them being able to just lean into their premise and accept that, yes, we’re being a bit silly, and that’s the point! But the DnD movie is just spectacularly earnest and gives itself entirely over to the wonder of its world, and that feels wonderful.

Every time I’ve watched it, which is a few times now, I’ve picked up on new fun world details or little in-jokes, and there are just so many things this film does right and has fun with, most of all making Xenk Yendar even more autistic than ever whilst also making him hot with the Regé-Jean Page casting.

And also, Hugh Grant is here playing a horrible, sleazy bastard of a wizard, and speaking of hot —

Cocaine Bear (dir. Elizabeth Banks)

Must a film be good?

Firstly, isn’t a coked-up horny female bear wreaking havoc and ripping people to shreds enough? And also, even if it wasn’t enough, aren’t so many queer characters going through the weirdest day out ever, girlbosses galore (I’m including the bear), funny as Hell dialogue, and even plot twists enough?

We saw this in the cinema on its release, and it was utterly glorious. Everyone should have the pleasure of seeing the feminist icon of 2023, the cocaine bear (sorry, Barbie), on the biggest screen imaginable, ripping into some hapless gay with full surround sound.

The Boogeyman (dir. Rob Savage)

I normally run along to see any new releases from Rob Savage as I loved Host, and The Boogeyman was so much more than I expected — bearing no resemblance at all to the original lacklustre Stephen King short story, this film really plays so creatively with light and shadow and has an honestly spine-tingling monster design that feels viscerally frightening from its introduction to its final boss battle.

I love it when a film plays with light sources, most of all when good horror does it, and this flick really delivers on that point — not knowing where light is going to come from adds extra tension when you’re trying to see into the shadowy corners, and whether it’s from the lunar nightlight, the videogame flashes, the camera, the fridge, or anywhere else, this film really has this holistic approach to light and shadow that just fucks.

The Pope’s Exorcist (dir. Julius Avery)

Again, must a film be good?

Isn’t it enough to have a coked-up bear —

Okay, I used that line already, but this time it’s Russell Crowe, and he’s doing an Italian accent, and he’s riding a little Vespa, and it’s the funniest and best thing in the world.

Much like the DnD movie, The Pope’s Exorcist really leans into its premise and just goes really earnest about it — it doesn’t take too much time to sardonically comment on the ridiculousness of its own universe, and that makes it feel really fresh compared to a lot of other big studio horror films. It’s silly and stupid and mixes more impressive scares in with the cheap ones, and it’s just a really fun movie to watch with friends.

[obstinaterixatrix]

I read all of The Honest Life of a Game Studio and now I am obsessed do you have recs for anything like it.

I wish. I FUCKING WISH. but it’s really one of a kind. higefusa really just wrote mundane slice of life office drama with the level of detail that could only be provided by a gamer who has worked in the industry AND he threw in some life or death stakes as a treat. how often do we get an incredibly normal office worker stuck in time prison??? and it’s ONE ARC??? not often enough.

none of these are gonna be just like game-ya but in terms of romances with attention to detail for industry/niche fields… ok all of these are gonna be kind of weird so bear with me.

double section is a BL about an auditor for an insurance company and an insurance salesman, I wouldn’t necessarily give it a blanket rec but I liked how Passionate the main characters were about audits and workplace regulations. a lot of heated drama for the most normal office setting possible. in the author’s note the artist talks about interviewing health insurance salesmen.

ginmokusei is more of a conventional BL but it’s about a guy who inherited his grandpa’s tailor shop and an ex maître d who shows up and demands to help him before he goes bankrupt. there’s a little bit about branding and marketing and bank loans. what has Always Stayed With Me is when the love interest basically goes like ‘you’re using all these flashy ads and being really pushy with discounts. are you selling beef bowls.’ every time I pass a clothes shop that goes really flashy with the discount banners I think ‘are they selling beef bowls…’

panel x magic. okay I said it was going to be weird. so this yuri is about a recent graduate who applies for office jobs and ends up doing image editing for… I guess a brothel? it doesn’t go into critiques of the sex industry, but I thought it was interesting how it takes a really logistical perspective in terms of marketing, advertising, and image manipulation… one of the chapters has the main character going like ‘oh god I’m trying to edit this risqué photo by making the thighs thinner and giving the face a glow-up but I keep making the model look like a weird alien this looks like something from a photo booth’ and gets advice from her coworkers like ‘hey why don’t you look up makeup tutorials to get a sense of what to touch up.’ hasn’t been translated in a while but it kind of hits that… really in-depth look at the logistics of a job.

I think there’s more I’m not remembering at the moment, at one point I think sundry made a joke about rating office romances by how much office work is shown. there’s a couple ones that *kinda* fit but not really… wait. wait wait wait. WAIT. oh my god it has such a h•rny title. okay. so I’m being 100% sincere when I say that the main story for hammered and pounded is a BL with interesting office politics. it’s also incredibly h•rny, but game-ya gets pretty h•rny so whatever. but yeah there’s a whole subplot where the love interest, who works in sales, has actually always wanted to work in R&D, and it becomes A Whole Thing where the head of R&D is in conflict with the head of sales over whether or not a transfer is gonna happen and there’s no romance involved with the conflict it’s all office politics

and in a similar vein, to your right, you will see my boyfriend is about a guy who’s working as a tour guide in kyoto and at the artist talks about how she used to work as a tour guide. I think it’s fun, though I have my qualms. the main character does do studying about how to be an effective tour guide and goes from being like ‘ugh I’m saying all the facts but no one’s listening’ to ‘haha check out this extremely long name of the temple we’re about to see! make sure to remember it, it’ll be the password for getting off the bus ;D’

I have another category of vaguely similar vibes of genre bending mundane office work + fantastical situations

tokusatsu gagaga is a gen series that’s a BIG fave of mine, the main character is an OL who loves tokusatsu so she imagines a lot of scenarios with that sort of vibe. it’s not diagetic, but it’s really fun when it’s stuff like ‘I’M AT KARAOKE WITH MY COWORKERS BUT I CAN’T OUT MYSELF AS A TOKUSATSU OTAKU THIS IS JUST LIKE BEING ATTACKED BY A KARAOKE-THEMED MONSTER EMERJASON HELP ME!!!!’ the eng tl hasn’t been updated in a while but there’s a live action adaption that’s really good

magilumiere co. ltd. is a gen series that’s basically ‘what if magical girls were like… sanitation workers for monsters’ so it’s a lot of company logistics in a fantastical setting. I don’t think I got that far into it before getting distracted, but it was interesting (though perhaps overly generous/idealistic about start-ups as a concept).

[belle--ofthebrawl]

Belle you keep teasing us with the hell on wheels au and I am here to beg most politely for some tiny crumbs. What is this treat you have cooking up for us in your big big brain????

Well...the explanation is very long but basically Augh Motorcycle Helmets Big Sexy.

So it's just Vibes at this point but grew into something more, especially after @miasmaghoul posted about mechanic Cirrus fucking Swiss. I adopted that immediately into what is now known as the Hell On Wheels Au, the barebones of which have been rattling around in my brain for about a year but exploded with thoughts quite recently.

The Ghouls are a Satanist Biker Gang that fully leans into the aesthetic, party at bars and get into fights but during the daytime? They rev their motorcycles and stand in court rooms as kids testify against their abusers. They work in partnership with local community support groups, have domestic violence flyers up in bathrooms, even have their own local version of an Angel Shot called a Devil Shot where one will pick you up from the bar if you've been roofied and takes you to the hospital while another hunts down the lowlife who did it and gives them a little talking to. Violence isn't usually involved since they have a reputation but they're fond of saying they never forget a face. Interpret that how you will.

This all evolved from a Vibes Based Daydream I had where Dew's bike broke down so he had to be Ifrit's backpack. And when they pull up at a red light, Ifrit's old chapter leader Alpha is there and he tells Dew "Killswitch him, it'll be payback for (something completely fucking made up)" EXCEPT when Dew hops off and turns the key to shut down the bike, the light turns green and Ifrit hollers something at Dew before popping a wheelie and racing away, leaving Dew to sweat nervously in the fish bowl distortion of his own reflection in the helmet glaring down at him.

"Get on." Alpha says gruffly and Dew seriously contemplates running before Alpha revs his bike again and growls "you run and you're fucking out." Because their whole thing is facing consequences, right?? So Dew's his passenger princess and Alpha takes him out of town on a backroad to a tall grassy knoll where Dew thinks he's going to be buried and parks his bike.

He meets the bookkeeper, a hulking retired boxer known in his glory days as Omega and they chat as Alpha looms threateningly in the background.

Notes: Swiss and Ifrit ride 1000cc sports bikes whereas I'm going for a more classical, solid build for Alpha. Or a chopper. Can't decide.

"This is all I have." I said to Miasma, but it proved to be a lie as my brain is forever a hamster running desperately on a wheel.

Swiss harasses the corrupt police force (defroque is the sheriff's son??) with Ifrit and Sunny, they do a lot of night rides with no plates and lead them in goose chases after triggering speed traps. Drop a gear and disappear, baby.

Aether does a lot of charity stuff and mostly works with local food banks to be a one man Meal on Wheels (ok...yup. get it out) for elderly and disabled folks. He dreams of owning a food truck with his buddy Mountain but right now he's happy to show up to court with a saddlebag of whatever he thinks that little tyke might appreciate or need.

Mountain is the son of a local cafe owner Terra, who was quite the hell raiser in her heyday but now is content to enjoy her retirement with her partners, Ivy (agoraphobic landscaper) and Pebble (weed dealer). He has a sidecar he brings Rain and Zephyr to work in. Rain's got a fruity little scarf.

Aeon as the new kid in town working two jobs to afford a bike of his own, Imperator as a lawyer/ex pinup model because learning is expensive. Copia is her assistant/son determined to make his mother proud but also can't help but wonder why exactly she chose to work in this distant town and what her relationship is to that decrepit old man sitting in the park, feeding the birds from his wheelchair and seems to know an odd amount of detail about a certain tricycle, hidden away in the depths of the shed. Copia doesn't like talking to him. Nihil knows too much and yet, can't remember anything at all.

Aurora is someone who prefers to pedal around town on her old mountain bike, vlogging her downright dangerous escapades that make seasoned motorcyclists sweat (motocross? BMX? She just likes her old bike. She does delivery for local restaurants and is a living legend in delivery times. Aeon's also into free running/parkour/skateboarding and they have a friendly...? competition over completion times.

Cirrus restores cars as a hobby and is a mechanic with Cumulus, who specializes in paint jobs on top handling the books and stock. Swiss loves it when she fucks him Amazon style on her prize restoration car (model make and year TBD) and he tells her about this little delivery biker who popped a forward wheelie on the other side of a red light, did something complicated that involved walking on her front wheel and stepping on the pedals before setting the bike frame easily back down and pedalling calmly past Swiss. Cirrus knows her of course, but Swiss hasn't earned that knowledge yet. Or his orgasm.

Sunny works in the shop too as an apprentice.

Cumulus likes to flirt with Mist, who owns the local dirt track. "As much as anyone can own a dirt field." Mist says. She's a water-skier, wheels aren't her preferred mode of speed.

The Emeritus family crossed over from Italy sometime in the last couple centuries. Ask anyone and they'll tell you where the real power in the city lies, with the unholy Trinity of the three offspring. But here, see, that's on the down low, see? One of them has to be Papa Emeritus, that enigmatic and rarely seen figure, who takes care of people who put their faith in him and that's more than the local priest ever does. Funny how that church building gets fancier and fancier every year while Mrs. Abernathy down the street can't even afford her medical bills. You know they're holding a fundraiser to build a heated hallway from the rectory to the church because Defroque slipped and fell on the ice last winter and now he's whining about needing a safe path to the building?

Be a real shame if something happened to all that money. Can you imagine Father Jim slipping every Sunday? Not that he's stable any other day of the week, mind you. I get the feeling, those prayers retreats of his....Mmm. but that's just gossip.

Ah well. You know, this is a quiet little town when all those bikers aren't revving their engines. But there's stories to be found in it, if you're willing to wait and be patient. Good things, and all that.

[xarrixii]

Chapter_51 : "The Visible Part"

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CW: referenced abuse archive masterlist | masterlist

TL;DR: While Alph is getting patched up in a van driving back to a Storm base, the same TV broadcast as in last chapter plays. Alph then calls their dad to ask him to dispose of the gun at the wreckage of Cinder's latest destroyed tower. The chapter ends with Alph's own injuries reminding them of a time they showed up at Harlow's front door.

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Alph grimaces as the medic touches a washcloth to their face, patting away the grime. Or whatever was on their face.

“What did you mean by third instance?”

“Well, I’m sure we all remember the building that was slashed straight through before being set alight in the rain. And then there was the one we’re responding to at the moment. But before both of these events, a bank named Hayton Deposits was robbed roughly nine months ago. The robbers escaped in an armored truck, and at least two pyrokinetics were involved in the robbery.”

“Do you have a description of your primary suspect? The one that saved you this afternoon?”

“The only time I caught sight of their face, it was half-covered. But I can say a few vague details. They appeared blonde, fair in complexion. That’s about it.”

Alph had a few words for the Chief of Police in Longport. And by a few, they meant something more along the lines of ranting about saying vague statements about pyrokinetic terrorism and the implications that has on all pyrokinetics. Some more to say about giving the public an excuse to go on a wild goose chase for pyrokinetic blondes through the radio.

“Send someone back there,” Alph says with hope Nacht is still sitting across from them in the van.

“Why?” Nacht was downloading the files they’d collected onto the hard drives into his laptop to find where Raijin was being kept. At least, that’s what Alph’s uncle said they were doing a bit earlier. Alph didn’t hear much besides the van driving down a busy highway.

“To find and destroy the gun.” Alph mentioned a previous statement from the interview a little more than a minute or so earlier.

Nacht hummed disapprovingly.

“It was Urban, I know it. It’s bad for us too if law enforcement finds it and sends it to forensics.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Nacht relates calmly. “But they’re currently swarming the the entire couple of blocks around it. I can’t send someone back in there yet. We’ll just have to intercept its course before it reaches their lab.”

Alph mumbled something to themselves before sighing. “Then let me call my dad.”

“What would he have to do with it?”

“He could… deal with it instead. He knows some people.”

“You don’t trust Cinder to take care of it? Urban is their operative as of this moment.” Sounds of Nacht shifting drift to Alph’s ears as the medic pats at them again.

“Bold of you to assume I trust them to do anything concerning him,” Alph seethes.

Nacht’s scrolling pauses, and Alph can almost feel the smile that must’ve started stretching across their uncle’s face. “Alright. Contact your father, but stay vague about it.”

Alph lifts their watch near their head. “Hey, Jerry,” they open and wait for the beep. “Call Fun Police.”

“Calling Fun Police,” Jerry replied as Nacht chuckled.

It only rang three times.

“Al, where the fuck have you been?” Garry immediately said.

“That’s not important. I found something I have to do, Dad. I just, I need something from you.”

Garry was silent.

“Dad?”

Garry’s heavy sigh was picked up, “What do you need me to do?”

“The gun,”

“Shit, Al. That violates—I can’t even begin to describe how much that violates the very point of my job.”

“Dad, it’s important.”

“Like Urban level of important or your mother level of important?” Alph stayed silent. Garry sighed again. “Alright. Yeah, okay. Just—come home safe. You need to stay missing?”

Alph stayed silent for a little while longer before responding, “It’d be appreciated.”

“Get out of whatever mess you’re in before it’s too late, Al.” With that, Garry hung up and left Alph to sit in the van, presumably with Nacht staring up at them. Alph was one of those people who could sort of tell when people looked at them.

“I like him,” Nacht said before his clicking through files resumed.

Alph raised an eyebrow, the medic dabbing near their chin again. “Jesus, what the hell happened right there?”

“Bruise.”

Alph didn’t like bruises. They tore themselves away from the rag and fell back against the van as it lurched along the highway.

It’d been—Alph didn’t like thinking about Urban’s mother much. That seemed like a much better way to put it. It had been some time after Alph had learned Urban was pyrokinetic before they saw the first physical marks appear. No matter how much Alph begged Urban to tell them who hurt him, he wouldn’t budge. He just wouldn’t, and eventually slipped up that he couldn’t leave Gabriel alone in the world.

It’d been Alph’s first hint. And also the reason Alph hadn’t said anything.

The second hint and dealbreaker had been when Alph showed up at Urban’s doorstep one day to take him out to the trail like he’d talked about for a while on his birthday, present in hand. Thinking about how Alph could hear the glass shattering from outside and none of the neighbors had cared still made their blood boil. Alph had been too horrified to call the police, to even ring the doorbell for several minutes. Just something hitting something else, over and over.

That’d been the day they decided they couldn’t keep hesitating about things they thought were wrong, when Alph finally got the guts to ring the doorbell and Urban’s mother had answered. Vague hints of blood along her knuckles. Urban had instead celebrated that birthday the next day, covered in enough patches to make Alph want to hurl.

It was also the last time Urban ever had a physical sign of abuse written on him. Alph never got another chance, even after getting the idea of getting their dad to adopt Gabriel.

Alph took a deep breath. They really hated bruises.

next chapter

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▲ missing a content warning? let me know

another classic instance of police officers committing crimes

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taglist: @lychhiker-writes, @madeoforgansandtissues, @fins0up

[soullessjack]

The cw walks up to you personally and tells you that they ARE going to be making supernatural season 16. Its going to be a complete retcon of season 15 and they want to give YOU complete creative control over Jack's arc including crucial plot moments and relationships with other characters. What would you change?

i wanted to save this for a Right Time when i could be super organized and detailed and big-wordy but fuck it . we’ll do it weird.

Crucial Plot Moments

I have so many posts on all of the loose ends in Jack’s storylines this’ll be an easy one. also, so much of this would realistically bank on a total rewrite of S15’s pacing but we don’t have time for all that.

for starters, there would be way more to show of the aftermath of soulless jack. all of his actions were in public, primarily on people of a high status (college professors, religious leaders), and even televised on the news. unless the assumption is that chuck erased everyone’s memory after undoing jack’s global mind control, he should be recognized all around from what he did. he does still canonically have an active FBI file marking him as armed and dangerous, too, so there should be more police/federal presence in the ongoing investigation, and it should also attract a whole slew of hunters (think the fanatics from Black Rock), especially the crew Bobby says is put together to hunt jack but never shows up.

this could also fall under relationships, but we absolutely need closure for Jack’s grandparents, Hellen and Jack Kline Sr. the first time we/Jack meets them, he lies and says he’s a coworker of hers, but vaguely confirms that she had a baby who loves her very much and that she was an amazing mom. he’s very visibly holding back tears to see his family—his grandfather is also his namesake, remember—and to know that he “coincidentally” looks like his mother. he ultimately went to see them to give them closure and so he could connect more with Kelly after her death. the second and last time we see them, jack is visiting to find familial connection again after Sam and Dean “rejected” him. he’s forcing himself to look normal and calm, but is still extremely unstable and psychotic, and it shows when his irritation at Hellen’s causes his powers to ‘activate’ more easily—which unfortunately winds up revealing his nature to them and terrifying them.

although the cutoff is literally meant to make us wonder DID JACK KILL HIS GRANDPARENTS!?, it’s eventually shown that he just left, and that he was also accused of killing Kelly, his own mother, by his own grandmother. The Klines never show up again afterwards and there isn’t even a suggestion that he sees them again or tells them the truth at some point offscreen. I don’t know exactly how it would go if he did, though; i think there’s too many directions to narrow down to The Right One, like.. if he did tell them the truth, would they accept him? would they still blame him for Kelly’s death if they knew the actual circumstances of it?

as a side note, almost all of Jack’s major plot points revolve around his relationship to someone else lol.

Rowena; he literally kidnaps her, she’s aware that he’s psychotic but trying to fix what he did / that it was an accident, and she has her own experience of grief making her violent when she tried to bring Crowley back. she’s never seen again until after jack dies and only ever has a silent sad reaction to learning about his death in the beginning S15. then she dies, becomes the Queen of Hell, and they never interact again. I am 100% giving them closure.

DEAN AND JACK. Holy shit. MY GUYS. MY SLIMES. Their relationship is literally so complicated and insane and real and it’s constantly done so shittily in the show and in the fandom bc nobody understands them the right way. I cannot stress enough how much I hate that people’s idea of them resolving their conflict post-Mary is to just infantilize Jack so Dean can’t be mad at him anymore WHEN HE’S WELL WITHIN REASON TO BE ANGRY. HE IS RELIVING HIS ROOT TRAUMA. It’s so painfully one sided and, as all babyjack does, only serves to make Dean look better without any consideration for Jack as a person or any of his actions.

There were also just generally a LOT of plot holes/loose ends surround Jack bc the writers can never fucking commit to anything when it comes to his character:

Harper (14x06) and Sylvia (15x14(?)) are both characters that Jack is written to either have emotional connections with or relate with them. Sylvia is last seen running off with a demon, I think, and Harper is never seen again after the last shot of her in her car writing a letter to Jack about how in love with him she is, still with the intent to kill him, bc as Yockey put it she’s a “psycho stalker” that Jack is entirely unaware of

(I also personally think there are some small parallels between Sylvia and Jack, like Sylvia being a ‘righteous punisher’ as Jack was under Heaven & both of them dealing with loss and disappointment).

The letter Jack writes in 14x04(?) to all three of his fathers before he plans to run away, before stopping altogether to help the enchanted girl, never gets opened or even acknowledged again.

“making it loud” in the empty after detonating. we literally never get an explanation or a follow-up as to what this means and why its bad and what will happen. presumably it means he woke up every dead angel and demon that’s in the Empty, but we can only presume.

Almost every traumatic experience he has ever endured. We almost never get his actual point of view or a clear focus on it in the show: Apocalypse World, Michael, losing his soul, the security guard in Tombstone, killing Mary and becoming psychotic, being literally suicidal with guilt and estrangement and feeling as if he’s “constantly letting his fathers down.” being struck down and murdered horrifically by his own grandfather, being in the Empty for months to even being Billie’s compliant weapon — all overlooked !!!

I need to finish this post soon because I know it’s been forever since you sent it to me, but as of right now I have a headache so I will wrap it on a sillier note !! For the final touches, I would ensure that

Jack is way more unhinged and spiraling, like 13x02 and 13x06. There are lasting effects of his trauma and everything that has been implied of his character but never fully fleshed out, like his soulless psychosis over Mary and the entire guilt-disappointment-anger arc from S15. See also, every traumatic event he ever experienced.

Jack would also be way more reactive to things, especially the sheer amount of unfairness given to him because of his heritage. AU Bobby quite literally said that the only reason he hadn’t killed Jack on the spot was his humanness, and then did an entire heel turn on it in 14x18.

I don’t think a real solid love interest would be a good addition to SPN but I do think he should kiss a boy or at least have something implied; it just means a lot to me that one of his desired “normal human” experiences was falling in love lmao

More gay little jackets 100%

Have bloodier kills and actually be bloody and fucked up

[doonarose]

What is 'Crashing' about?

Crashing is a 3400 word framework that I haven't look at in a month. I wrote it as some sort of therapy after I hit a kangaroo in my brand new car. It would be a longer multi-chapter human AU fic (something I've never done) in which Crowley and Aziraphale meet on a dark rainy night after Crowley swerves to try to avoid hitting a deer and crashes into Az. They're both fine, cars are a bit fucked, deer is injured and Crowley basically commits to doing everything possible to nurse it back to life, including waking up the local vet in the middle of the night and throwing money at surgery.

Az knows the vet because has has a hobby farm where he rescues and rehabs injured and runty goats.

Both cars are too fucked to drive (the Bentley only makes it to the vet because Crowley wills it to (not really, he's human remember, but the axle is bent and so they are stuck)) and it's like 2am so Crowley ends up back at Aziraphale's little cottage/farm and they fuck. That feels like it comes out of no where but adrenaline, etc., and right before the vet calls to say the deer's on the mend which makes Crowley very happy.

Anyway... that's basically meant to be a one night stand except their lives kind of intertwine because of course Aziraphale takes on the deer rehab and Crowley's grown attached. And also Crowley's realized Aziraphale's got no money and now a totally fucked up car, but also doesn't want any charity.

Did I mention Crowley works in some sort of gross property finance roll and that his company is trying to buy out Aziraphale's hobby farm to build a highway or something. And basically forces that through... even though for a very long time (And several more unavoidable, definitely the last time, i'm just here to see the deer, one night stands) Aziraphale doesn't know Crowley's the one responsible for basically kicking him out of his home.

But then Crowley only works for the bank because it gives him the kind of power and income to do some very quiet anonymous good. Which then sees him donate substantially to the goat rescue thing. So Aziraphale will be fine, but has still lost his home.

So then the bad guy Crowley stuff comes out and Aziraphale rather hates him for it. And then eventually the penny drops that Crowley's also the good guy. And this is all very underbaked but here have a bit of the first meeting:

“Fucking fuckity fuck.”

“Are you quite alright?” Aziraphale calls as his sodden shoes slip in the mud.

The stranger whirls around like he’d thought he was alone. “Of course I’m alright. How fucking close did you need to get up my arse?”

Aziraphale’s taken aback. Hadn’t this gentleman been the one who braked, suddenly, on a narrow, dark, wet laneway, and caused the accident? Wasn’t he lucky that Aziraphale was quick-witted enough to swerve? Not that propriety would allow him to point any of that out. “Are you alright, though? No damage?”

That seems to take some of the wind out of the man’s sails. “’m fine, just… FUCK.”

It isn’t the most impressive vocabulary. “Perhaps we can exchange details and – ”

He’s waved off with a dismissive hand and the man disappears around the back of his car (which is facing forward) and into the dense trees beside the road. Aziraphale tries to scurry after him but a particularly sharp press of wind pushes him back.

“Excuse me,” he presses. “But we’ve been in an accident and I will need – “

The man appears, suddenly close to him, imposing but only to raise a finger to his lips and very loudly shush him. Then he stalks off in parallel with the road, back towards the ditch harbouring Aziraphale’s car.

Aziraphale watches him, pause and look around. “If you could perhaps – ” He’s shushed again. “Really, it’s pouring rain and – ” Again, the loud shushing. “Legally you are req – ”

“Shut it.” The spectre, barely more than a silhouette ghost, takes a sharp right and heads into the tree further.

[peachysunrize]

- 🧸

I appreciate you believing in me x and the advice! also i've decided i'll let you read through it instead of scrolling... scrolling... scrolling through the Aemond x reader tag to find it 🤗

also 🪴 emoji anon's tho(ugh)t? i'm salivating 🤭 your response to it too? "–sweaty and red with a tight grip around his cock – keeping himself up by a hand on his desk while he fucks his fist 😩" i'm adding onto this... below >

imagine... betrothed!reader catches him another instance and it's just before he's unlaced his breaches, and tugged his small clothes/shift down (or shoved his hand down the fine linen...) and then *boom!* he remembers to shut his chambers doors so as he turns around he sees you...

his doublet already unbuttoned and his chest on display, long silvery locks disheveled and normally his demeanour one of stoicism now flushed. don't get me STARTED on the tent in his breaches which is uncomfortably strained against the seam, his palm having started inching towards it, squeezing to feel any sense of stimulation whilst he awkwardly stands there a–bit too rigidly

then fem!reader treads forward ever so slowly to not fret him like a predator would it's prey and replaces his hand by dipping hers into the already loose breaches (including his small clothes/shift) to take ahold of him, grasping the base before untieing the loosened trousers to pull him out – him slapping against his revealed abdomen. during the entirety of this Aemond has leant backwards to steady himself against his desk (which is digging into his back but he doesn't care...), his eye locked onto where reader's hand is as small pants and chocked gasps spill out by accident, pupil dilated to the point his violet iris is just a tiny ring.

squeeze, pull, flick of the wrist, tug, thumb at the slit, slide, repeat. and Aemond is just trying to figure how she learnt this and where from, but he'll worry about that later focusing instead on a decent rhythm to rock his hips into her soft grip in comparison to past 'ventures' with his calloused, scarred hand. and he's leaking onto the floor, all over her palm and fingers wrapped around him, the pace becoming quicker with each stroke as the distinct sound of wet flesh echoes around his quarters' four–walls.

knees trembling, practically begging to give out as he realises he's so close and too soon. latching onto reader's o shaped fist as he tries to pry it away. twitching and pulsing, the veins prominent as the purple–y fuschia bulb is engorged to the point it's hurting for release. "N–no!..", he grunts out before streaks of white defile his betrothed's hand and his own, the milky substance oozes out, dripping downwards.

head thrown backwards, now flaccid length jutted out, mouth slightly agape as the silent scream fades into the atmosphere and buckled legs. having propped himself to sit a–top his desk to prevent from falling to his knees... a sight to behold and store in reader's memory bank for 'sake keeping'.

(i couldn't help it! so this is actually my 2nd writing attempt... and 🤞 fully edited, this was 'tamer' than what i have in mind for the other one i'm writing but this was just a *practice* run! x if there's any advice to give i'm welcoming it with OPEN ARMS!)

OMG I LOVE THIS!!!!! Off imagine how shy he’d be after that, trying to apologize and say sorry but reader brings her fingers to her lips and sucks them clean and he almost comes again SJOZSJISJZIAJAKAJIA

Babe you’re doing absolutely amazing I loveeeeeee how detailed and descriptive you are!!! Love your style bby🥹✨