#fuck grass all my homies hate grass

[biscuityskies]

Okay everybody shut up I’m mowing the lawn. Look at me. I’m doing the thing. Fuck off demons I’ve been meaning to do this for a MONTH

[imarudesalad]

I reached 100 hours playtime on funny map game. yay :(

[passionfruitmango]

All my homies hate grass lawns

[themlemever]

Just had 27 consecutive heart attacks while completing the grass trial.

Castform and the move solar blade can burn in hell.

[murkycran]

i am Sisyphus and the grass in my yard(s) is my stone

[pokemenlovingmen]

Okay!! I was able to counter act the links being funky in my app by opening your blog in my mobile browser!!!! so I was able to read your rules n stuff so now I can finally request (yusss!!! also, I saw the "ingo,,, again" under the PLA characters you write for and it made me think "ingo 2,,, electric boogaloo" heheheh. also yeah fuck kamado, all my homies hate kamado)

okay, could I please request a lil drabble (if you only do hc's thats fine of course! I just couldnt find it clearly if you only do hc's) of Adaman taking care of a reader who is on bed rest and healing? the exact stuff of how and what is up to you, for me its more so the comfort and caring side, not so much the angst side (so like, nothing thats like "omg reader was near death" pls?). gender of the reader I dont mind, just do what youre most comfortable with and yee!! thank youuuu

Hi you’ve been such a kind supporter I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you!! And yeah. Fuck Kamado. That exile would have been my villain origin story if the game gave me more agency, I swear to god.

And conversely, we love Adaman. They put him in pokemas and my quality of life has improved significantly <3

Oh and I’m sorry about the lack of clarity of what I do! I do only HCs, but at the level of detail I can’t stop myself from including, they’re kinda like a weird fusion between drabble and headcanons.

Healing Takes Time — Adaman x M!Reader

💎 — Hisui is a dangerous place and injuries ranging from minor to severe are all too common. So Adaman’s not exactly a stranger to presiding over loved ones on bed rest.

💎 — Doesn’t mean he’s good at it, though.

💎 — Mai reminds him that the slow passage of time is just as important as things that happen in the quick, efficient manner that he prefers as well. It’s not a slight from Mighty Dialga being displeased, it’s just the nature of time. But he can’t just stand around when it comes to your health! Yes, rest takes time, he’s aware, but all this waiting feels the same as doing nothing to him.

💎 — Mai basically has to keep him away from you constantly because he’s always fretting over you, which is definitely sweet of him even if it’s not exactly helpful, but it is funny to watch the cartoonish shenanigans of Mai trying to constantly shoo Adaman away from the medical tent.

💎 — Even if what you’re recovering from isn’t serious, you’d never be able to guess that from how he behaves.

💎 — He essentially becomes your primary nurse and seldom lets you out of his sight if he can help it (thanks to Mai being the reasonable one, he usually can’t).

💎 — Once things calm down though, after the first two or three days when your recovery progress is becoming quite apparent, he’s less frazzled and more willing to leave you be. He just can’t help that impatience winning out, though, sometimes.

💎 — He’ll be there to help you with maintaining yourself while you rest, sitting beside your futon while you recover, brushing your hair so you don’t have to, keeping a fresh cold compress on you at all times if the problem is that you’re sick and feverish, changing your bandages if it’s an injury, all that.

💎 — If you’re okay with it, he’ll also happily bring his Leafeon to see you for some good old fashioned grass-type aromatherapy. I know Leafeon can’t actually learn the move aromatherapy, but it’s clearly made of plants and must have some kind of floral/herbal smell.

💎 — And since we know he is a house husband in the making guy with an interest in cooking, you bet he’ll be bringing you all manner of home-cooked meals.

💎 — He’s so dutiful, oftentimes he doesn’t go back to his own tent for the night and will instead fall asleep on the cold floor next to your futon.

💎 — Adaman is very sure to keep you abreast of all goings-on in the clan, usually nothing much of interest, but he does uncharacteristically bring you all sorts of gossip. It’s not that he likes to gossip, but while you’re bedridden he can’t think of much to entertain you with so this is what he’s settled on. And also he probably would like to vent his multitude of frustrations with Melli specifically because you just know 3/5 instances of drama involve some kind of category 5 Melli moment.

💎 — Once you start to recover and leave your bedridden state, he’s still just as present as he was before.

💎 — If it was an injury he’s always making sure you’re not overexerting yourself, and if it’s something that happened to your legs, he’s volunteering to help you walk around so you don’t put too much pressure on the injury.

💎 — For illness he’ll always be on your case about taking whatever medicines/remedies you were instructed to, because your recovery has already taken ages (to him) already, and he’s not sure he can bear seeing you sick for much longer.

💎 — Regardless of the reason you’re bedridden, he’ll always give you a kiss on the forehead when he enters the tent and before he leaves—though if you’re sick, he musters the self control to wait. Ideally he can keep that up, but he might get a little impatient… oh well. He needs to remind you how much he loves you, and if he ends up getting what you have, he knows you’ll care for him just as dutifully as he did you.

[oddinary4bts]

im guessing your 25 from your bio? but what the actual fuck is this story? where do you want us to give his flowers when he constantly lies, disrespects, uses her, plays with her feelings, acts like a fucking child, never once opens up and sure ass fuck isn’t mature enough to have a conversation with her about their so called „feelings“ ? so hes rich and doesn’t want to be associated with that life because he doesn’t want his parents to control his decisions yada yada bohoo and we give a fuck? what does this have anything to do with her? or why should she go through the disrespect his family brings upon her when she’s being USED to pretend something she isn’t or him not having the fucking balls to stand up for a HUMAN mind you not girlfriend but just a HUMAN BEING for getting talked down. he never once apologized for his actions always brush’s them aside and then wants validation for his fuck ass behavior? don’t get me started on your main character too cause what the hell is she about? why would she constantly let herself be played with as if there isn’t a better option ew why would anyone want a person like him? dawg you’re 25 and you’re writing a story that’s based on 16 years old people grow tf up. there’s no purpose in this storyline

HEY I GOT HATE AGAIN😎😎😎

Okay so what the actual fuck is the story? Do you have eyes or did you not read it yourself? Did you not pass your high school english analysis classes?? Like do you need me to give you a summary or something?😂 bc I can summarize it if you want! It’s about 2 people that are incredibly vulnerable and scared of being in love realizing that they are falling in love. It’s about a boy who’s always been bullied and hated by his whole family, so much so that he hates himself and doesn’t think he deserves anything good, OC included. Does that push him to be a “dick” to her to a certain extent? Maybe. Is he scared of standing up to his family? Totally, yes. All he’s ever wanted was their approval but they’ve always just hated him. Also please remember that these characters are 20 and 22 they aren’t going to be super mature either😂

Now about OC, as we just found out, her father was absent all her life so hello daddy issues. The only guy she ever really got close to was Sam Hwang, and we know how much of a dick he was so that doesn’t help either. She’s also the kind of person that just wants to be there for the people she cares about, as we’ll get to see more in the upcoming chapters with her friends. Furthermore, please let me know when Jungkook played her bc he’s never actually played her at all😂 homie is a huge ass simp that is just afraid to confess it like how can you miss the point so badly??

Last but not least dawg, I don’t think I’m the one that needs to grow up. You’re literally sending hate on anon bc you’re too childish to say it right to my face😂 so go take a look in the mirror, you desperately need it

Oh and before I forget, here’s some grass bc you definitely need to touch some grass

[narcolini]

kiss and tell

angel reyes x gn!olvidado reader, 2369 words

for day 25 of whumpril: ‘we’re being watched’

a/n: this is in a world where adelita and angel never had a thing, because why not, AND who doesn’t love a fake date trope! muah (also love u élise, mi jefa)

tagging: @cositapreciosa @drabbles-mc @hausofmamadas​

You shouldn’t be here. You really shouldn’t be here. Of all your dubious moral mistakes, this might just be the worst one, right? Going behind Adelita’s back, to talk to a Mayan, of all people, who’s working with Galindo? Yeah, you’ve fucked it. You’ve really missed the mark with this one.

He isn’t even a close friend, really. A friend of a friend of a friend. Someone you bickered with in high school, an Angel totally undeserving of the name. Payaso copied your answers in more exams than you can count, and now he’s after them again, begging you for info you know you shouldn’t give. Well, you assume so. The text he’d sent hadn’t been specific, but what else could he want? 

You haven’t spoken to him in years, but, fuck, you’re here, aren’t you? You agreed to his suggestion and let him pick the meeting place. You’re walking toward him now, like you couldn’t be any fucking happier to ruin your shit, any more willing to disrupt what Los Olvidados have been organising for months. God, if anyone knew about this. If Adelita knew about this.

It isn’t worth imagining. Besides, you might not tell him anything at all, right? He might ask you for something you know nothing about. There’s still a chance of that, still time for fate to stand by your side.

Angel’s leaning against the tree closest to the park’s entrance, one tall beanpole in the sea of kids and moms pushing empty prams. He doesn’t blend in by any means. He didn’t even bother to take his kutte off.

‘Hey.’ He nods as you approach, only clocking you once you’re within talking distance anyway.

‘You wanna be any more obvious, man?’ you snap over him, looking past him, then over your shoulder. ‘May as well have brought the rest of your stupid club with you.’

‘Wow, relax.’ He looks like he wants to laugh. ‘Is it that serious? S’not like you got rules against socialising and shit.’

He’s wrong, of course, because that’s exactly what you do have. Especially when it comes to socialising with Galindo affiliated groups. ‘Can we move, please?’ you ask, ignoring the remark. ‘Away from the fucking Mom’s club.’

Then he does laugh, face crumpling like you’re certifiably insane, but he does stand straight from the tree he’s on. ‘You wanna walk?’

‘Sure.’ That’s better than this, at least. You watch him shove his hands into his pocket, before gesturing with his elbow for you to lead the way. Which you do, begrudgingly, traipsing further into the park with him beside you.

‘I can’t talk for long,’ you tell him, flicking him a look. Then it’s back behind you, over your shoulder, and to the right over the grass.

‘Damn,’ he’s watching you scan the surroundings, ‘you’re way less fun than you used to be.’

‘I didn't realise we ever had fun, Angel.’

He scoffs. ‘Really? Thought we were cool.’ He throws you a smile. ‘Homies.’

‘You stuck gum to my backpack and cheated off me relentlessly,’ you answer, not bitter, but bored instead. ‘Might’ve been fun for you, but.’

‘Okay,’ he laughs, ‘so I was a shitty kid. You really gonna hold that against me?’

‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ You pass a woman jogging, flashing her a smile just to see if she’ll return it—she does. ‘Would’ve blocked your number if I was holding it against you.’

He sucks a breath in, like he’s scratched his knee or some shit, wincing with it. ‘The fuck are they feeding you at those camps? Los Olvidados got a rule about being friendly now?’

‘Yeah,’ you nod, and you hate that you’re almost laughing with it, ‘that’s actually the whole thing, dumbass. We’re not trying to make friends.’

So why are you here then? Walking through a park, birds chirping like a fucking Disney movie, with Angel of all people. You were supposed to be making this quick. You shove your hands in your pockets like he has, pulling your hoody closed over your torso. No more chitchat.

‘So,’ you say, ‘can we get to the part where you beg me for information?’

You aren’t looking at him still, but flitting around again. There’s a dude on the bench you’re walking by, reading the newspaper. He doesn’t pay any attention to either of you. Doesn’t look up as Angel’s boot throws a stone in his direction.

‘Information? Nah.’ Angel shakes his head, the movement catching in your periphery. ‘You think that’s what I’m here for?’

You shrug. ‘Well, yeah. What else would you want?’

You’re on opposite sides, really. Hired hands or not, the Mayans are working for the man you and the rest of the group have fucked over, multiple times now. All you can offer him is information he shouldn’t have. Not that you will, of course, not that you will. But you at least want to hear what he’s dumb enough to ask for.

He’s slowed to a stop, for some reason. His brows are pinched together as he looks at you. ‘Y’know, I almost feel like saying fuck it and leaving you here.’

You turn, in front of him now, and shrug again. ‘What d’you mean?’

‘I’m here to help your ass not, fucking, beg you for information.’ He looks offended, actually. Genuinely offended. ‘I mean, come on, you really think I’m that stupid?’

Maybe, but you aren’t about to admit that to him. ‘Sorry,’ you stumble, ‘I don’t know. Guess I figured you had some allegiance to the dude paying you.’

He snorts. ‘Yeah, that’s not how this shit works.’

‘Okay,’ you prompt, ‘then what is it? Why am I here?’

For the first time, he chances a look behind like he does actually care, like he’s as nervous about this as you are. Well, almost. ‘Thought you guys might want to know Galindo’s planning to go ahead with another shipment,’ he says.

‘Oh.’ Your brows go up. ‘Damn. Fuck, that’s useful.’

‘Yeah,’ his voice goes thick with sarcasm, ‘I figured.’

Your gaze slips past him, looking for the man with the newspaper again. Only, he’s not there now, and has been replaced by another man, sitting with his arm over the back of the bench. He’s slouching, knees wide. Dressed in nothing but jeans and a garish shirt—which is weird, because it’s a cloudy day. Cold enough that you and Angel are both wearing two layers at least.

‘But why?’ You flick back to Angel. ‘Like, why help us?’

There’s something familiar about the man, about his very fucking familiar face. You can’t shake it. You can’t even focus on what Angel’s given you, the opportunity of another shipment to disrupt.

Angel sighs, oblivious to the mental file-o-fax you’re pawing through. ‘I know you think I’m a dick,’ he says, ‘but I do actually, y’know, care. About this shit.’ He gestures between the two of you. ‘The rebel shit, I’m with it.’ He pauses, you still aren’t paying attention. ‘And I fucking hate Galindo,’ he adds, souring. ‘Uptight fuck.’

You look back to the bench. He’s scanning the park now, in a very non-casual, casual way. Like you were—like you are. He skims past you quickly, pretending he hasn’t just made fleeting eye contact with you, and then it clicks. Finally. Fuck. It’s not just some dude, it’s Tiago, one of the many meatheads in Galindo’s cartel. You’ve seen his face a million times, in black and white, pinned to the boards at camp. You recognise it now, because it’s obvious. Scar through his eyebrow, thick moustache, ugly fucking shirts.

He isn’t relaxing in the park, enjoying the breeze, he’s waiting for you, watching. He’s holding out on you spilling secrets you shouldn’t—or maybe it’s not that at all. Maybe he’s watching Angel instead, keeping track of Galindo’s assets. They’re trying to avoid another incident like the last, looking for the leak in the in the seal, the rat amongst the dogs. And Angel’s clueless to it, standing and waiting for your reply. His face clear as day for Tiago to watch.

‘Kiss me,’ you say, blurting it as quickly as you can.

‘Wha—why?’ Angel frowns, lips pulling down at the corners. ‘Kiss you?’

‘We’re being watched.’ You step forward. ‘Kiss me.’

He’s taking too long to process it. You can feel Tiago staring now, attempting to read your lips. The longer Angel stands there looking lost, the longer Tiago has to profile you, to paint you as a notable figure. To pin blame to the badges on Angel’s kutte.

You pull him in by the back of his neck, before any more damage can be done. Hide his face with your own, make this look like a date, a walk in the park between one Mayan and his crush. He doesn’t kiss you back, of course, it’s stationary lips against stationary lips. Is it convincing? You’ve no idea. You can’t pull back to check yet, not without making it look suspicious and desperately false.

He says your name, or tries to, against your mouth. When you don’t break away to let him say it properly, there’s a moment of pause, just a breath, and then he’s kissing you like he means it. His hands come up to your waist, his lips part. You turn, pulling him with you, until you’re angled away from Tiago, Angel’s back a firm wall in his vision. He’s either cottoned on, at last, and is trying to make this look like a real thing to avoid suspicion, or his testosterone has kicked in and accepted a kiss for a kiss. His body reacting the way it normally would.

For a second you enjoy it. But that’s beside the point.

‘Okay,’ you pull back, hands to his chest, and look over his shoulder, ‘I think that…’

Tiago’s turned away again, scrubbing a hand over his moustache and looking as awkward as anyone would after watching two people kiss.

‘The fuck was that about?’ Angel asks, out of breath but unable to shift the smugness from his face. ‘Who’s watching us?’

‘Fucking Galindo,’ you mutter, ignoring the slight thrum in your chest.

‘He’s here?’ He attempts to look behind, but you catch him before he can, hand to his cheek.

‘Don’t fucking do that.’ You drop it again, fidgeting back behind the shape of him. ‘You can’t look, but it’s Tiago.’

His brows flex together; he’s wondering how you know who he is, how you’re using the guy’s first name like you’re familiar, but now isn’t the time to go into it. Really, you know more about Galindo’s crew than he ever will. There’s no cap on information for you, it’s find out all you can, everything you can. For him, it’s only what Galindo allows them to know. The bare minimum to get them to do what he needs.

‘He probably thinks you’re the rat,’ you say, continuing when he laughs, an I am the rat, expression on his face. ‘It’s better he thinks this is a date. For you, I mean.’

The smirk isn’t shifting. He’s staring down at you like you’ve actually asked him out. ‘So you’re helping me now?’ he says. ‘Saving my ass from Galindo?’

‘Yes,’ you snap, ‘and the desire to keep doing it is running thin.’

‘Alright, God.’ Still smiling. He’s still smiling. ‘Tell me what to do then, Olvidado.’

You have half the mind to leave, abandon him like that kiss was the farewell, and let Tiago track him alone. Follow his stupid bike around town until he finds some other way to incriminate him. But you need him, actually. You genuinely fucking need him and what he has to say. Another shipment would give you another chance to dent Galindo’s organisation, to strip more money, and more power, from him, in the most frustrating way possible. It’s an opportunity too good to miss.

‘You see that café ?’ you ask, knowing it’s in his eye-line, over your head. ‘We’re gonna go there, like we’re on a nice fucking date, and you’re gonna tell me what you came to tell me.’

‘Alright.’

‘So,’ you gesture toward him, ‘make it look like you actually like me, or something.’

He rolls his eyes, head tilting with it, and you almost reach to snap it back down again, but then he gets it together. He takes your hand, the right one, bringing it up as he steps around to lay the same arm over your shoulder. It’s more than he needed to do, putting you by his side, with your joined hands sitting against your collarbone, but you can hardly complain about it now. Tiago could be watching still—you look, eyes over Angel’s forearm—he is still watching. Leaning forward on his knees now, like he’s deciding whether to follow or not.

‘You’re gonna have to be careful,’ you say, facing front again. ‘They clearly suspect you.’

He shakes his head. ‘Flaco’s paranoid, probably thinks all of us are out here spilling his secrets.’

‘Fine, be like that. But it’ll get you fucking killed, Angel.’

‘Says the rebel trying to take him down.’

He has you there, but the difference is Galindo, Tiago, doesn’t know you yet. Doesn’t even realise that you’re anyone worth knowing. Thankfully, hopefully, your quick thinking has planted ‘love interest’ across your face, and ‘dead end’ over Angel’s. There’s nothing innately suspicious about two people going for coffee, no matter how Tiago swings it.

‘Let’s just get this over with,’ you tell him, increasing your speed and pulling Angel along with you. ‘Before one of us ends up in the gutter.’

Angel laughs, nodding.

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ he shrugs over you, ‘just that this is the weirdest fucking date of my life.’

‘It’s not a date.’

‘Fake date,’ he corrects. ‘Weirdest fake date of my life.’

‘And last one, too,’ you add, because if he ever texts you to meet up again, you’ll be leaving him on read. Information or not, it isn’t worth the hassle, he isn’t worth the hassle. You’d rather struggle to gather information for yourself, than go down with the Angel Reyes, traitor to Galindo, disaster of a ship.

[goodmorningbatterycity]

Violent Rays *speaking into the mic in "Morales" office*: Yeah you thought Id forgotten about you didnt i, well this is not a joke, its not a parody, its not satire, the only people who think that are brainwashed by BLI, we're the KILLJOYS and we're here to take back the desert for all of us, for the real ones, the rebels, the ones who arent afraid to stand up for something and feel emotions, not just shove pills into their mouths....BATTERY SHITTY LISTEN UP, if youve thought about breaking the law or punching a 'crow or raging against the machine, THIS ONES FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!

*Violent Rays and the rest of the team hack into BLI surveillance cameras and start broadcasting to every TV in bat city. Violent rays walks on stage with a mic in his hand, lights flash in the background*

Violent Rays: HERE WE GO, ITS THE KILLJOYS BROADCASTING TO YOU LIVE FROM ZONE SEVEN, YOU WANNA FUCK WITH US? YOU THINK YOU CAN TOUCH US? SUCK MY DICK, KORSE! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!!!!!

*trap beat starts playing*

FUCK BLI FUCK ALL THAT SHIT ALL MY HOMIES HATE DRACS IN THEIR FACES THEY WILL SPIT BAT SHITTY IS A LIE ALL PEOPLE WILL DIE BUT THE KILLJOYS REBEL WE COME OUT HERE AND YELL FUCK BLI, AND FUCK ALL THE DRACS SHOW THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS HOW WE ATTACK YOU WANNA JOIN IN? GET IN THE BIN RIDE THE BUS TO ZONE SEVEN AND LET'S ALL SIN WE'RE GONNA KICK ASS WE'RE GONNA SMOKE GRASS WE'RE AT THE TOP OF OUR CLASS WE'RE BURNING UP GAS MIKE MILLIGRAM WAS RIGHT IT'S TIME FOR THE FIGHT AND IF YOU'RE ONE OF US GET ON THE FUCKING BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The rest of the gang walks on stage behind him with their hands in the air, each of them holding a mic, they start hyping up Violent Rays*

Bomb Baby: ALL MY PARTY PEOPLE PUT YOUR HANDS UP Nurse Marysa: ALL MY PARTY PEOPLE PUT YOUR HANDS UP Toxic Sunshine: ALL MY PARTY PEOPLE PUT YOUR HANDS UP Tickled Pink: ALL MY PARTY PEOPLE PUT YOUR HANDS UP

*Everybody's rocking out, Dracs stare open mouthed in horror, Korse starts crying, Violent Rays throws himself into the crowd and gets crowdsurfed into the distance, everyone else is still rapping*

wtf did I just read lol

[trashbins-stuff]

Yellow - every time i see you on my dash you're always so happy and it's so lovely!

Goldenrod - i really wanna sit next to you and watch a sunset/sunrise. or maybe just look at you.

Orange - if you were a fruit you'd be a orange. no explanation.

Rust - you seem like you're hanging on by a thread.

Mahogany - let's go on a late night drive together and listen to one of your playlists.

Ruby - you are such a gem, you deserve so much better <3

Pink - biting you biting you biting you biting you licking you biting you biting you

Navy - i have a feeling you hate jeans.

Green - wanna go touch grass with me?

Jade - honestly you have some of the best takes on this hellsite.

Mrrrmrprmrmp <333

Hell yeah i love sunsets

:'D

Who told u that i had a breakdown this noon, WHO TOLD U

lets goooo >:D

Hehe ruby's one of name XD

*explose*

Fuck jeans all my homie hate jeans

Yes <3

Thabk bestie 🧑🏽‍🦽🫂

[timedragson]

I’ve been working on a rap i hope u like it

dookie in a glass

Snoopy shakin ass

I’m rich i get money

I feel funny smoking grass

Karma is my boyfriend

We roll with taylor swift

T Swizzle is my homie

I heard she’s rolling spliffs

England is my city

Team 10 we staying litty

Brekkie at a maccas

On my dong she do the splittys

danger is my middle name

hate the player not the game

Streaming red, stolen version

Starlight just dont hit the same

21 by gracie abrams

Even though I got some bans

Taylor better cuz I add 1

22 can make me dance

Livenna from wyoming

In the hospital, god bless

I dont know what she was there for

But I saw pregnancy tests (oops)

I dont wanna go to work

Retail makes my legs feel numb

Said “I’ll do my best to help you,

but I’m really fucking dumb.”

Sorry to my haters

Cuz this rap will make you like me

All these ladies in my dms

Make the british girls go “crikey!”

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

FUCK cattle grass ALL MY HOMIES HATE CATTLE GRASS

[seraph-bile]

I’m gonna end it all, fuck animating grass, all my homies hate grass 👿👿👿👹👹🤬🤬🤬

[dootznbootz]

MY HOMIES ALWAYS HAVE MY BACK!! I LOVE YOU ALL (PLATONICALLY)

It's about Odysseus' Boar scar >:D and it's very stupid.

I'm just going to come out front and say I've actually SEEN some "goring scars" (farm/woods stuff) and they are NOT pretty. There's a reason why when calves are young their horns are usually cauterized. As cows usually can't tell how strong they are and shove each other and can straight-up stab each other. :'D Infections and other stuff take root very quickly in these situations and the same with tusks on pigs.

I don't know much about pigs but my mom grew up with them, so I'm basing a lot of what I know from what she knows and some research on wild pigs on my own.

I personally love imagining the boar Odysseus took down in his youth to be about the size of the regular boars in Princess Mononoke. (The leaders like Nago and Okkoto being the size of the Calydonian Boar) . And even though it sounds like a regular boar in the Odyssey, I guess you could say that I love the idea from Epic: The Musical where it's a challenge from Athena at a young age. So therefore it's bigger. Plus everything in Greek Myths are already "larger than life" so why not go with it!

(best photo I could find at the moment, sorry. But just look at Tiny Ashitaka compared to the boars. Tiny 13-14 year old Odysseus. Itty bitty baby boy.)

And for how he got the boar scar, I personally love imagining him somehow getting tossed up in the air from the boar. Animals when "charging" have their head down usually and then toss UP at whatever they're attacking. These animals specifically are big so he would most likely be almost completely sitting on the boar's snout. I like imagining him doing the "final blow" during that. Yes, he got hurt but doing the risky thing is what allowed him to beat it.

I imagine the tusk first striking his knee, (if he were pressed up against a wall or something, it would've been SOO bad. like snapping leg backwards bad 😭) Then goes up inside his thigh and then welp, takes a nut 😔 😂 Odysseus nearly blacked out from pain before stabbing it in the shoulder, and he kind of slid off the snout a bit, in which it goes upward. and ends on his tummy.

Closeup of Said tummy scar by my dear friend thehelplessmortals :3

Like teen him wakes up after taking it down and passing out and he's in pain and panicking a bit but grandpa Autolycus is like "kid, it was barely not your femoral artery and you're lucky to have your intestines. this was the best possible outcome"

I also plan for basically the only reason why Odysseus survived this is because Athena helped him out like the gods do during the Iliad. Magic Healing. Why he can still run well despite the injury. (although I plan for it to cause some stiffness for the old man later on. Water Wife helps with joint and scar pain! :D )

~~~~

This causes Odysseus some *ahem* fertility issues later on. (he's a half-eunich now) I like imagining it took OdyPen a while to have Telemachus. Why it's even more tragic he wasn't able to spend a lot of time raising him. Plus GOOD genuine love is forged through SOME hardship. Having the strain of possible infertility on your marriage yet still loving one another? And fighting for one another??? GOOD ANGST FOR FUTURE FICS!!! >:D I also kind of find it funny for Odysseus to blame his asexualness/demisexualness on it. "This is why I don't feel sexual attraction! This is why I'm not 'normal' like others!" No buddy, you're just like that. Good try though! You fucking love your wife!

That's all, folks! :P

If this gets 5 likes, I'll say one of my silliest Odysseus headcanons. Not just say it, either. NO. I'll write a full-on essay on why I have this headcanon just to say the stupidest (and simplest) conclusion at the end.

[moon-ursidae]

SESSION #7

as always, SPOILERS for BOTH of the last of us games and the HBO series are below the cut!!

i… have not played this in quite a few weeks huh? i’ve just been so hyped up on joel and ellie, that i’ve been going through the first game for the 3rd time, and really taking in their relationship. then the show premiered and i’ve been losing my shit over that. with the lack of joel and ellie in the second game, i’ve been putting it off hella. i wanted to get in a little bit of time with it today though. so we’ll see how this goes lmao

total play time: somewhere between 11-12 hours!

NOTES:

so the last time i played some fuckin stalker skittered in the doorway and i shit my fuckin pants

so let’s see what this is about 🥲

that was literally fucking horrifying like they were literally peeking around corners JAVAKSVSK

S C A R Y

FUCK stalkers. all my homies HATE stalkers

oh shit they’re gonna be everywhere now huh?

omg with clickers??? OOF

THE FOOTSTEPS ABOVE??? FUCK OFF

ellie open the goddamn door

i chimed in ellie

open the goddamn door

brendon urie may have ruined panic! at the disco but that doesn’t mean you can’t open the goddamn door ellie

AHHHHHHH

OUT THE WINDOW??????

INTO THE RAPIDS????

this bitch WANTS me oh my god

that was awful

this is awful

“fuck seattle” LMAOOOOO

i’m glad that’s over

…it was not over

a fucking stalker jumpscared me from the wall lmao

ANYWAY

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE SOUNDS???

i’m getting the F U C K outta this sewer

OUTSIDE!!

WOOOOO

this overgrown park is gorgeous

it’s not gorgeous anymore someone is hanging

oh fuck! the whistling! the seraphites do be near

yea they’re here ellie just took an arrow to the shoulder holy shit

THESE GUYS ARE SCARY BRO

THE BIG ONES???

running for my life

i have used more ammunition in the past few combat zones than i ever have playing tlou

“you better not have strung nora up.” ellliiieeeeeeeeee don’t let it take over

the lighting is fucking phenomenal

the glow that these fires are giving off blows me away everytime

and how the look in the fog?? F U C K

JOURNAL ENTRYYYYYY

i like her lil drawing of the big ones hehe

…back inside

I WANNA BE OUTSIDE DAMNIT

buildings scare me i don’t like them. never did

there are hella pigeons somewhere goddamn

CARD BABYYYYYYYYY

i feel like i’ve missed so many

LOOTING! MY FAVORITE >:)

awe this poor bastard got killed before he could get the meds to his wife :(

i think their letters have been scattered throughout? or i just haven’t played in a while LMAO

probably the latter

side note: i want ellie’s tattoo so goddamn fucking bad bro. like my life depends on it

more seraphites!!

stealthing in the grass is so fucking fun oh my god

EVEN MORE OF THEM??

i’m using so many of my resources fuuuuck

i have no way to upgrade my melee or make more molotovs…

MORE LOOTING >:)

ruston coffee is quite literally the starbucks of tlou universe

i feel like i’m gonna get ambushed in this merci building

i’m putting down mines in front of this door lmao i just have a gut feeling

it’s too quiet

HOLY SHIT THAT’S A BIG FUCKIN GUY

BUT HE DIDN’T EVEN HIT ME ONCE BC I PUT THE MINES DOWN WOOOOOOO

fuck yea

OH MY GOD BITS OF THIS GUY ARE FALLING OFF THE CEILING AHHHHHHHH

THIS GUY WAS CARRYING FUCKING STORMBREAKER HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS

i’m glad the rest of this building is clear bc holy fuck

OUTSIDE WOOOOOOO

i’m honestly really surprised there was no one on the roof

weston’s pharmacy seems really dicy…

i’m going in hahaha

WORTH IT! ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYYYY

i have never been so conflicted by choosing upgrades before

i have 92 parts but i W A N T that scope on my rifle but it’s 80 PARTS

fuck it.

SCOPE ACQUIRED

WATER STEALTH??? PLEASE???

OH SHIT IT’S THE GIRL W THE PS VITA

is that fuckin hotline miami…

HOLD ON

ellie’s kinda….

got me blushin a bit

BRO AND HER SHADOW ON THE WALL AS SHE’S STANDING OVER THIS WLF W HER KNIFE TO HER THROAT

OOOOOOOOOO

oh my god that IS hotline miami

jfc

oh my god are these all fucking bodies in these biohazard bags

jesuuus

STEALTH!

I’M USING SO MANY RESOURCES >:(

a note! WOOO

it’s just a supply list lmao

don’t go near the lower levels? i’m guessing i’m gonna end up there

IT WAS A GOOD DAY?? AYO???

whoever’s playing that send me ur playlist plz

ellie who cares if it’s nora? whoever it is they have great taste in music

just let the vibes wash over you ellie

INTO THE VENTS WE GO

she’s in the walls… SHE’S IN THE GODDAMN WALLS

hahaha

ANYWAY

ABBY WAS HERE???? IN A CELL??? THAT’S WHO THEY WERE TALKIN ABOUT EARLIER THEN

why was she in a cell tho???

OH SHIT MY HEART IS RAAACCCIIIINNNGGGGGGG THIS IS SO INTENSE

sometimes i think “is ellie really doing this for joel? or is it for her?” and most of the time the answer is that it’s more for her.

joel knows what happened to him was bc he did the same shit ellie has been doing this whole time

he killed a fuck ton of people to get her to safety. but was it always for her? no. joel couldn’t lose another child. so him protecting her, i feel like, was for him as well. so he could have that safety of knowing she was alive and breathing. so he could do what he didn’t with sarah. save her.

but then look where that got him. and now look at ellie. and where that’s gonna get her. it all comes full fuckin circle man. it’s so poetic

this shit is SO GOOD.

the way that ellie isn’t even shaking or wavering during this confrontation w nora.. JESUS

“you still hear his screams?” THEN she starts shaking

her gun was BARELY moving before then

ASHLEY JOHNSOOONNNNNNNN

“yeah, that little bitch got what he deserved.” OH HELLLLLLLLLL TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN NAHHHHHHHHH FOOL

YOU HAVE BALLS TO SAY THAT AT THE PERSON POINTING A GUN AT YOU THAT IS THERE BC YOU KILLED JOEL BRO

ellie you had the shot bro

oh hey! the lower levels!

OH MY GOD WAIT ELLIE IS SO SMART FOR THIS

THERE’S SPORES DOWN HERE SO NORA IS FUCKED EITHER WAY

pitting infected and other humans against each other is SICK

oh my god there’s so much fungal growth down here JESUS

hearing nora coughing in the distance oh my god

“hi nora.” AND THEN BLOCKING THE DOOR HOLY FUUUUCK ELLIE

HER VEINS HOLY SHIT

THE SHOT OVER ELLIE’A SHOULDER LOOKING DOWN ON NORA IS COOOOOLD

these graphics are fucking crazy like this looks like it didn’t go through any animation what-so-ever

goddamn.

i could talk about just this shot for so long.

holy shit

“i’m fucking dead anyway why would i tell you anything?” THE WAY ELLIE GETS CLOSER AND SQUATS DOWN WITH THE FUCKING PIPE OH MY GOD

“think about what he did” AND SHE GRIPS THE SHIT OUT OF THE LEAD PIPE AHHHH

THE FUCKING THRUMMING SOUNDS ARE SOOOOO GOOD

OH MY GOD IT’S MAKING ME PRESS THE BUTTON

FUUUUUUCK MAN

and nora groaning and coughing in pain in between JESUS CHRIST

AGAIN??? THE CRYING OH MY GOD

ellie’s face man. holy fuck.

uh oh, back to the theatre

her hand shaking holy fuuuuck man

“it’s me.” HER VOICE SHAKING :(

and she freezes at first when dina hugs her😭😭

STOP SHE’S SHAKING SO BAD😭

hoooooly shit. she’s cut and bruised the fuck up

ellie could not do this without dina. holy fuckin shit.

“i don’t wanna lose you.” 😭😭😭😭😭

OH NO. OH NO. SAINT MARY’S HOSPITAL???

OHHHH NO.

ONLY 2 YEARS??😭😭

pediatrics? uh oh.

this feels weird.

i don’t like this.

it’s fucking odd

THE MUSIC AHHHHHH

I DON’T WANNA LOOK FOR THINGS THAT WILL HURT THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT ELLIE DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH

“why’d you all leave?” joel. it was joel ellie.

oh no. it’s the tape.

sidebar: that’s ashley burch!

ANYWAY

i’m crying just seeing joel riding in on his horse.

HE CARES ABOUT HER SO MUCH OH MY GOD

oh my god plz the way he’s shifting his weight nervously after she told him to tell her what happened

(pedro does that in a lot of his roles) ANYWAYY

the pain in ellie’s eyes🥺

joel looks so hurt too UGH

the way he’s struggling to get it out bc he knows that she’s gonna be so fucking upset😭

HE’S NOT EVEN LOOKING AT HER AND HIS VOICE IS SO QUIET AND SHAKY AHHHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭

THE SADNESS IN HIS FUCKING EYES WHEN HE LOOKS AT HERRRRRRR

OH MY FUCKING GOD

THE WAY HE REACHES OUT TO COMFORT HERRRRRRRRRRR

HE LOOKS SO GUILTY AND SAD AND I-😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY HE JUST STANDS THERE AFTERWARD LIKE I KNOW THAT MAN IS CRYING

FUCK

I’M CRYING

SO FOR 2 YEARS JOEL THOUGHT ELLIE FUCKING HATED HIM??

BUT THEY MUST HAVE BEEN WORKING ON IT RIGHT?? IF THEY WERE WATCHING MOVIES TOGETHER??

SO THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS FUCKED UP FOR 2 YEARS??

AND JOEL THOUGHT ELLIE WOULDN’T EVER FORGIVE HIM??

I KNOW THAT ENDING PORCH SCENE BUT LIKE HOW LONG BEFORE THAT???

I NEED TO KNOW

MY BELOVEDS😭😭😭

SEATTLE DAY 3

woooo😭

“the war the merrier. hey look joel. it’s your favorite.” I’M A PUDDLE ON THE FUCKING FLOOR ARE YOU JOKING

i found a card at least haha

uh oh dina’s not doin too hot

OH I FUCKIN FORGOT JESSE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT DINA

WELP. DOES NOW

jesse is soooooooo attractive goddamn

i fucking love jesse

“you’ll be leaving some of them alive.” HE WANTS TO MAKE DAMN SURE WHERE ELLIE’S HEAD IS AT

i need to see a miller again i’m sad

i miss tommy

and joel😭

i like that jesse is being very straightforward about what they’re doing

jesse is a fucking amazing guy

from the way he talks about dina you can tell that he still really cares about her

ANUTHA CARD WOOOOO

am i gonna regret spending all of my upgrade parts? yeaaaaaa. but that’s a problem for future me to figure out lmao

ellie’s entry about not telling dina and jesse what joel did UGGHHHH

“do i understand?” 😭😭😭

we’re getting pretty close to the aquarium i am scared

BREAKING UP THE MOSS IN THE WATER IS SO COOL

I AM BLINKING HEAVILY IN SUPERNATURAL

ARE YOU FUCKIN FOR REAL RN LMAOOOOO

I’M SO THROWN OFF RN

“go team jackson” “fuck these motherfuckers” HER LITTLE JUMP TO HIGH FIVE HIM SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUP

I. LOVE. JESSE.

“i’m not into your type.” “what? asians?” and ellie going along w it LMAO this is just witty banter between 2 friends and it’s really refreshing after being alone for so long

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYY

this bookstore is giving me flashbacks to the first game

THE MUSHROOMS IN THE KIDS AREA💀

😭😭😭😭

THE NOTE ON THE BACK BETWEEN THE MOM AND KID TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY MISS SOMEONE SHUT UUUUP😭😭

it’s little things like this that can add SO MUCH to the environment i love them and adore them

the graphics are fucking insane

this all looks so real

the reflections in the water are B O N K E R S

so good

JESSE TALKING ABOUT DRINKING AND PLAYING BOARD GAMES WHEN THEY GET BACK😭😭😭😭😭😭

ya’ll this game is so gorgeous

and this storm comin in?? WOOOOOO it’s gonna get INTENSE

also according to the game i’ve played 21 hrs? which is kinda false bc i leave it paused for a long time whenever i go do something so that���s not entirely accurate but it’s still fairly close

SNIPER SPOTTED AT THE MARINA??? TOMMY????

“the best way to help tommy, is to go after abby.” THE WAY JESSE LOOKS AT HER LIKE “girl be fuckin for real”

ellie’s chompin at the bit bc she’s looking at a ticket for a straigh shot to the aquarium

but tommy is def more important atm

they are sending UNITS for ONE MAN

help your uncle ellie jesus

jesse looks pissed

“you do this, i’m not saving your ass again.” ELLIE WHEN DID YOU? JESSE came TO YOU in hillcrest??

elliiieeeeeeeeee abby can wait girl

jesse is not happy w her rn

WATER STEALTH WOOOOO

that was fun! i really like the silencer it’s a PHENOMENAL addition to the stealth gameplay

BOAT TIME

now who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to let ME drive a boat

naughty dog and i have a complicated history with water vehicles

YEA I’M LOOKIN AT YOU UNCHARTED 1

FUCK YOU AND YOUR JET SKI BULLSHIT

OH MY GOD THE ICE CREAM TRUCK😭

i like how ellie’s hair is really floppy now bc it’s fuckin soaked

ANUTHA CARD BABYYY

the thunder sounds so fuckin good the sound design for this game goes CRAZYY

NEW JOURNAL ENTRYYY WOOOO

“abby i begged you to stop. you brought this on yourself.” jesus ellie

SAFE COMBO WOOO

what the fuck does a bitch have to do to get fuckin tape around here jesus christ

A BITCH JUST FOUND SOME TAPE FUCK YEAAAAAA

oh my god. these letters to jules started back in the fucking subway where you fight a shambler for the first time

before the fucking theater… goddamn

he set out to find the seraphites and he sure fuckin did

holy shit

so if you are to be part of the seraphites, you shave your head, give yourself scars, and you’re given a new name.

holy fuckin shit this is CULTY

searching this derailed train is fuckin sick

another misha letter lmao

okay i am someone that HATES storms like i have so many bad memories and shit associated w storms

one too many close calls w a tornado will do that to you

so the level of tension is DOUBLED for me when going through these buildings on the boat and this music keeps crescendoing while this storm goes fuckin crazy

THAT’S A BLOATER

THAT’S A GODDAMN BLOATER

LONG TIME NO SEE

FUCK OFF PLEASE

THAT WAS SO FUCKIN SCARY

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYYYY

oh my god

oh my god the ferris wheel is right fuckin there

I’M JUST GOING OUT INTO THE OCEAN???

SOME OF MY WORST FEARS ARE MIXING RN

THALASSOPHOBIA AND STORMS DO NOT MIX WELL

FUUUUUCK THE BOAT GOT SWEPT AWAY

EEWWWWWWWWW I HATE THIS

CLIMB ELLIE CLIMB

oh my god the fucking lightning behind the ferris wheel and ellie standing in the foreground, wind blowing her hair

IT’S RIGHT THERE

I’M SO SCARED

oh my god i’m at the doors to the fucking aquarium

THIS MUSIC IS SO INTENSE I’M GONNA THROW UP

THE FUCKING SHARK IN THE WINDOW JUMP SCARED ME ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME UUUUGH

i’m in…

i fucking HATE this

i literally am so fucking scared of the ocean all of these exhibits that i’m having to go through are making me wanna scream and run the other direction dude

into the vents…

THE DOG

I’M SORRY TO THIS DOG AND ALL THE OTHERS AHHHHHHHH I’M SORRY

OH SHIT THIS IS ALL THEIR SLEEPING BAGS

OWEN’S TAGS OHHHHHHH SHIT

ellie is breathing SO HEAVILY

to be fair i am too jfc

the atmosphere is insane

OH MY GOD IT’S OWEN AND MEL

MEL LOOKS SO SCARED SHE’S LITERALLT SHAKING

FUUUUCK MAN

OH MY GOD ELLIE’S USING THE MAP TACTIC LIKE JOEL AND TOMMY

oh no. ohhhh no.

fuuuck owen saying “she’s pregnant.”

fuuuuck.

oh shit it’s tommy! and jesse!

but also FUCK

THE MAAAAP.

THE MAP.

THE FUCKING MAP.

GODDAMNIT

ENDING THAT SCENE W MEL’S BLOOD POOLING TOWARD THE MAP AND THEN CUTTING TO DINA????

FUUUUCK MAN. THAT’S GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE.

BUT ALSO, NO IT’S FUCKING NOT

the way ellie’s looking at her🥺

ELLIE MOVING AWAY WHILE DINA REACHES FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭

FUCK AAWWWWFFFFFFFFF

awe dina took the sorority secrets book 🥹

WAIT. AM I ABOUT TO FIGHT ABBY?? WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

I’M SCARED

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

LIKE THAT SCENE FROM THE PUNISHER THAT’S ME RN

NO TOMMY’S GOING TO GRAB SOMETHING FROM THE MAIN ENTRANCE

THIS IS DEFINITELY IT

OHHHHH FUCK

I’M SCARED TOMMY COME BACK I JUST GOT YOU BACK PLEASE DON’T LEAVE

“my friend’s problems are my problems” I LOVE HIMMMMMM

“my friends can’t get out of their own damn way” HE’S SO- AHHHHHHHH

I LOVE JESSE

FUUUUUCK THERE WERE THUDS AND NOW THEY’RE RUNNING

FUUUCK OFF

jesse’s gone.

F U C K.

FUCK

AGAIN. I AM PART OF THE LAURA BAILEY FAN CLUB WHICH LIAM O��BRIEN IS THE PRESIDENT OF

SHE’S GIVING A PHENOMENAL PERFORMANCE

WITHOUT SEEING ABBY’S SIDE OF THE STORY YET, I’M PISSED AT HER. I DON’T LIKE HER.

BUT I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO KNOW HER YET

SO WE’LL SEE

BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW, I WANNA HIT HER REAL FUCKIN HARD

THIS IS WHEN IT SWITCHES TO HER GAMEPLAY???

HUH????

FUUUUUUUUCK BRO.

RIGHT AFTER JESSE? AFTER JOEL? AS SHE JUST KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF TOMMY?

FFFFUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK

AGAIN, I LOVE AND ADORE LAURA BAILEY AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO

okay listen i’m not doing this bc i’m mad at the story or anything

but i’m ending my session for the day haha

i started at fuckin 11:25am and it is now midnight LMAO

there were many breaks in there but i still played A LOT today and i have a fuckin migraine so i’m gonna go the fuck to sleep

i’ll play tomorrow maybe but we’ll see

this post was hella long so if you made it all the way down here, bless you. i love you. i hope you are staying safe.

new episode tomorrow!!

[jarofspacestuff]

Dalton Big Bang Day 39 - Historical AU

fellas is it gay to propose to your best friend under your parents’ wedding gazebo just after sunset and it’s the 1810s during the regency era and you’re in a jane austen book?

this is meant to accompany a fic written by discord’s very best layne, a true joy to collab with!!