#fuck I just burst out laughing

[seagiri]

they turned mickbell into a girl in the latin spanish dub so... congrats mickbell???

[pusangkambing]

DEATH THREAT WARNING ⚠️

I have not finished the stream BUT HOLY SHIT NOTHING COULDVE PREPARED ME FOR JUST HOW FUCKING RAW THAT "KYS" THAT JAIDEN SHOUTED OHMYFUCKIMG GOD

[polterquest]

gang i feel crazy because what do some people THINK tommy saying "your father is alive" means????? i keep seeing it being interpreted as a dismissal or that tommy is saying that buck should be grateful for that ? but i took it as a light-hearted if not blunt way of pointing out that saying 'father i never had' is a testament to phillips shitty parenting because even though he is alive buck still might as well have not had a father, and tommy is sort of acknowledging or testing those waters and levelling his expression and tone. then buck responds "exactly" to confirm that while Laughing, the energy is not one-sided and he isn't put off by his bluntness.

framing tommy's response in bad faith is taking it out of context to what buck actually Said, surely?? if he just generally opened up about bobby's importance in his life as a father figure without using those exact words, then yeah that response would be questionable but that's not how this went. also brother in christ have you never had a bit of a laff while bringing up something vulnerable with someone close to you, i did not see it as a super serious scene from the get go - it's casual but it shows they're meant to be comfortable with each other

if you wanted to interpret it further it could even be a double meaning to reassure that hey your father (bobby) is alive, he didn't die today... idk i never post like this but wow i feel like i genuinely am watching a different show reading some of these posts

[nico-di-genova]

i come to your inbox with Heavily Researched News™ (i listened to off track and did some quick googling) containing info for your 'a lesson in braking' alex.

so, in 2022 there was a huge prank pulled on conor daly on day one of the indy500 (dubbed Beadgate), where someone filled his hot tub with what he estimated was 400,000 orbeez. his top list of suspects were josef newgarden, callum ilott, tony kanaan, colton herta, kyle kirkwood and scott mclaughlin.

in hindsight, daly thought he'd heard some noise outside his trailer

'there was a lot of guilty faces in the paddock this morning, and i can’t figure out which one is the culprit,' daly said. 'it’s a tough scene. i think the primary suspects are the dads of the indycar community, too, because apparently children like to fill up these little fake guns with water balls and shoot them at people.'

newgarden called daly that night 'in a very scared manner' to try to convince daly that he wasn't guilty of the prank. daly suspected callum of being involved 'cause he was hanging out with him a lot as he was looking for the culprit and wondered if callum is keeping himself close to the situation to throw daly off.

callum meanwhile, claimed he’s innocent because he wasn’t prepared for the shenanigans to ensue so quickly. (but as a rookie, he was fully prepared for being pranked himself and had bought supplies to retaliate if that was the case)

ilott said that it was a genius and clever prank and wondered why daly was considering him a prime suspect and why alexander rossi wasn’t being considered at all.

kirkwood said he spent $40 on chlorine and test tubes to keep the hot tub running properly so why would he ruin it?

marco andretti also wondered why nobody was considering rossi, as well as james hinchcliffe.

'I’m so busy worrying about my race car right now, but it is funny to look at on social media,' andretti said. 'hinch has some time on his hands. rossi is always a culprit, isn’t he?'

but rossi claimed to have an alibi 'cause he and hinch was with daly as it happened on monday night, so he couldn't have done it... right?

wrong. guess what?? turns out he really should have listened to callum and andretti 'cause it very much was alex (with the help of sage karam) who filled daly's hot tub with 1.76 million orbeez (which cost him 483 dollars which was almost as much as the hot tub itself btw). he just didn't do it on monday night, he did it on tuesday morning.

and this is how he confessed:

daly's reaction to finding out btw:

and alex explained it all in detail on the 'off track' (don't know which episode, i watched the youtube clip titled 'the hot tub prank') where he claimed to have done legitimate research into how many orbeez it would take to fill a 242 gallon portable hot tub (which is apparently how large daly's hot tub is), which honestly? very believeable to me.

the cherry on top of it all? the way daly found out about the prank to begin with. 'cause daly had guests over and he wanted to show them his brand new hot tub.... cue him lifting the lid on the hot tub and finding 1.75 million orbeez instead of water.

and the reason behind this hilarious prank??? daly did this to rossi TWO YEARS EARLIER in 2020:

so essentially, when it comes to pranking alexander rossi? fuck around and find out.

…so when I said alib Alex breaking the water pump in the fountain at school…where he dumped a fuck ton of soap in there senior year…after researching which brand of soap would produce the most bubbles…I was actually underestimating the lengths he would go to?

Jasmine honest to god this is the best possible Alexander lore dump you could have given me. I am absolutely in tears. What the actual FUCK goes on in his brain??? He plotted, he planned, he did THE MATH to figure out how many fucking orbeez he would need to fill this thing? Because…the wheels were taken off his golf cart TWO YEARS PRIOR??!!

He’s so insane, he’s so absolutely crazy insane. Nearly $500 on orbeez beads…I love him. I opened this ask with absolutely no idea where tf it was going and now I am sitting here laughing so hard I am actually in tears. I can’t get over the image of him researching this. He absolutely was not fucking around.

And not only did he own up to it, he shows the actual receipts. My respect for his commitment is through the roof rn. When people say race car drivers are competitive this is actually what they mean. I am now also a little scared of him and his unwavering resolve to finish what is started.

What I’ve gathered from this is you should probably never engage in a prank war with Alexander Rossi. It is a guaranteed loss and he will decimate you to the point that you are preparing to proudly show off your brand new possession, only to find it has been broken by toxic water balls.

[a-crimson-impressionism]

Benedict Bridgerton, circa season two: this edible ain't shit

Benedict, 3 minutes later: I always wanted to fuck Lord Granville

[cakemoney]

i'm still only a little bit into the ending fight (for neverafter for those watching me watch at home) but i am like. the rational part of me understands that attacking the princesses' philosophical justifications (especially in the heat of battle where rational thought would be pretty impaired) is simply not going to be as effective at changing people's minds as an offer of hope that it doesn't have to be this way. that is in fact true in real life as well. but like. somebody needs to point out that the princesses are fundamentally no different than the stepmother or the fairies. all you are doing is deciding what's best for other people without asking them. all you are doing is lashing out from your own rage and trauma and the people who suffer the consequences will be innocents, and you don't care. like take two seconds and tell me why little miss muffet and her lonely curds and whey deserve to be and should be and must be wiped from existence, with no one to remember her or her town full of adults who have strictly nonsexual sleepovers. tell me why if the itsy bitsy spider decides to keep climbing up after being washed down again and again its entire life, you should be the one to decide that they don't get to try one more time. look me in the eye man. all you care about is yourself, because you were raised as royalty, and you believe you deserve better, and you believe you are better than everyone else and the world revolves around you, and you believe that your feelings and your pain and your suffering are more important than those of normal people, farmers, peasants, families throughout the realms who, despite having no name and no power and no book and no destiny, despite eking out miserable existences in constant downpours or under threat of being crushed by giants or being forced to use old moldy shoes left by giants as houses, still choose to keep living. do people stop falling in love because the times are bad? do children stop being born, growing up, making friends, making art, scraping their knees when they trip but then getting up again, because the skies are dark? none of their memories and joys, none of their stories and bonds, no matter how brief, are worth preservation? all of their lives are worth nothing because you said so? you wanna run that one by me again buddy

[jeena-says-hi]

Helluva boss spoilers

HE DID THE HARDER MEME

[basketobread]

its dangerous to go alone .. take this

G DE ANEHW OH WJJEE WE HEWNWNEENWKENJWWKWJWNRHQO

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

okay wait laughingstock concept Incoming: so im imagining some of the neighbors (maybe Julie & Frank) noticing that Barnaby & Howdy are a lil fruity, yk yk. and Julie's like damn, i guess we have to play matchmaker here.

so naturally they wind up getting the whole neighborhood involved. everybody's a wingman here. Poppy's dropping hints when Howdy drops off groceries, Wally is constantly asking Barnaby to go get him things from the bodega, etc etc. Howdy and Barnaby are facing this sudden change in town-wide behavior with slight concern and bemusement

eventually - lets say Julie, Sally, and Wally - get Barnaby into the bodega and then abruptly leave like "don't have too much fun without us you two *wink wink nudge nudge*". once they're gone (read: very obviously hiding outside & watching through the window) Barnaby & Howdy turn to each other like:

Barnaby: you think we should tell them we're already married?

Howdy: let them have their fun - they'll figure it out eventually

[fraternum-momentum]

I CANT I CANTTTTTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE RJIKNHGKRSBKFUCKNHJHFBNJEA JFHBAEJHBFJHBHBHBHBHBBAZHJDBAJHDBAJKHBDJKNA????A//////!?!!!!!!!!??!!???!?!?!??!! I CANNOT I LITERALLY NOT THE CAN I CANTTTTTT RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[riewritten]

ok so ive reread Oil Well Fires for the first time in a while and i, for the love of god, could not physically recover to this abhorrent shenanigan johan had pulled because reader had a nice day with the inspector

like not even out of jealousy. our pathetic boy believes he’s not capable of such human feelings. i dont know what brought him to do THAT 😭

[t4tails]

IM SORRY BRUCE JUST GOT FUCKING. FEAR TOXINED TO HELL AND BACK BUT THE FIRST THING HE SEES IS THE RIDDLER AKDBSIDB I CANT TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY

[scover-va]

Hello Ultrakill fandom my name is m- /j

[ultravioart]

roughing out ideas for a "goth/punk chick" disguise that peepers wears so he isn't shot on sight by Dominator lol

[what-even-is-sleep]

Thinking about Bodkin bc like found family trope but you’re more like ough.. uh oh.. OH MY GOD… uhhh… AHH… AHHHHH… aghhh.. OH MY GOD NO

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

It's Friday night at a local restaurant. It's so busy that almost every table is full outside, and the only seats available inside are at the bar. There are cars driving by, and noise pollution from them honking at each other, and everyone else around us is talking at a reasonable level. All of a sudden, all the noise stops for a second, to hear this person nearby us say:

"The Mormons? Are absolutely OBSESSED!! With sexual HARRASSMENT!!!"