#ftm top surgery recovery

[pickledclowns]

Alright so for pride and the sake of visibility I thought I'd share my chest. I had top surgery February 14th 2023 and my surgical recovery was finally done September(ish) 2023. A lot of stuff online has a lot of trans masculine people, or any trans person who goes through any surgery, represented with very neat very subtle top surgery scars and I wanted to share my "not ideal" results. So, how did this happen and why? My mom died of breast cancer so I wasn't able to keep any breast tissue to resulting in what is called a large crater deformity that caused my chest to be literally concave. If you have a potential risk of genetic breast cancer this will likely also be suggested to you. I promise no amount of vanity is worth breast cancer. Within the first 48 hours of my recovery I ended up having a hematoma (blood pooling under the skin) due to not being informed I had to stuff my compression vest with towels to increase compression outside of just the vest, because my chest was literally concave. Blood filled the cavity and caused pressure to build behind my skin turning a 6 week recovery into a 6 month recovery with VHS sized hole in my chest. This happened because a small square of skin had died and couldn't be saved. Ultimately one of my nipples was in that square of dead skin and had to be removed. I also have large dog tags and hormonal acne scars. All of these things are considered not ideal and unattractive.

So do I like my body? Ultimately I feel like there is so much pressure to conform to a certain aesthetic so that cis people will find us valid so that cis people could find us attractive (more like everyone has to find us attractive). That isn't even touching on being a fat trans dude. I was confined to a binder for my 8 hour work shift and I was unable to do anything else for the rest of the day so long as I wanted to pass (which i do and did at the time). Regardless of how it looks I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want without fear of injury and that is HUGE and has made a HUGE impact on my life and my ability to enjoy myself. I can't say this is the ideal form of my body but I don't think I dislike myself. My results aren't perfect but in the reality of my life I wouldn't go back and change things. I don't consider my surgery botched, I don't consider my surgeon bad she did everything she could for free post surgery to help me recover from this including giving me medical supplies for my recovery. Why share this? Can you change how you look? I haven't shared these in the past because I feel like not being the most attractive trans person, or your surgery going into places you weren't expecting gives a lot of trans people anxiety like we are giving cis people and TERFS ammunition to be cruel to us. Part of the reason I tagged my photos with my URL is because I didn't want someone to steal my photos and start larping as a detrans regret story. But I don't think my body is inherently unattractive because I had surgical complications I just think we've been conditioned to see results like mine as unattractive. You will find similar sentiments amongst any group with body differences. Regardless of all of these potential problems the lack of representation for people like me who have had surgery and you don't come out looking like a skinny/hunky cis passing dude that all the girls swoon over is evident. Other people like me exist and I need everyone cis and trans alike to acknowledge the existence of "non ideal" surgical outcomes. From my research ultimately 5-10%~ of people who undergo any surgical breast augmentation will deal with necrosis (dead skin). [1][2] Ultimately necrosis and any other type of complication is something that needs to be weighed before you have surgery. For me I couldn't enjoy my life with giant sacks of fat on my chest and I couldn't do anything outside of work. For me the surgery was worth it and I'd do it all over again even if it meant having worse aesthetic outcomes than I do now. I also maintain control over my body. Once my nerves stop freaking me out and finish regrowing I plan on getting tattoos to help enhance the way I feel about my chest. Further this isn't what I looked like in September of 2023. I've been hitting the gym to put it lightly and my chest has filled out and will continue to fill out over time. Won't get rid of my scar but I'm looking forward to sharing more photos once I get what I want from my efforts. So yeah there it all is. I didn't have to share this but I wanted to. I wanted other people to feel not as alone as I did in recovery. It was worth it and I am happy in my body. Go forth and be free. Happy pride everyone!

[kinlodok]

Ma is jön hozzám látogatni 🥺

Megyünk boltba ketten 🥺

Segít nekem hajat mosni 🥺

[shrews-things]

Things about top surgery that I didn't expect (double incision)

It hurt so much less right after waking up than I thought it would, it was similar to pneumonia lung pain like kind of a burning sensation

Wasn't hard or upsetting to get used to my new look!! Also there isn't an ounce of regret in me, I thought I'd have some at least in the first few weeks

I had the posture of a shrimp for like two whole weeks from that compression garment

It itches as it heals which is fucked up bc I can't feel shit in any of it and also when I try to gently pat it to make the itch go away, I can't feel that either so it doesn't help :')

I'm like 5 weeks post-op and I still can't raise my arms above my head gdkdhskhdn

Still reaching for a bra or binder out of habit when getting dressed

It still feels like I'm somehow??? Hiding my chest???? Like when I was still just binding, I still go like "oh this is a good outfit, it hides my chest well" boy you haven't got a chest to hide

The urge to pull out the loose ends of my dissolvable stitches,,,,

[angelic-transsexual]

Things I learned post top surgery (peri edition) 5 days post-op

Being put to sleep and waking up wasn’t as scary I thought it was gonna be

Huge amounts of tightness and soreness in my chest area

Numb chest

Drains are annoying little bitches

T-Rex arms are real as fuck

I actually had a bit of trouble trying to pee the night I got home, it took my body a bit to get back to being able to pee normally

Neck pillows are both your friend and your enemy

Bad posture due to binder from hell

My back is sore from my bad posture and sleeping elevated

Applesauce is your best friend the first few days post-op

Liquid IV helped my sore throat from the tube they put down my throat

Car rides are a no

Help from others even if it’s just little things is a big yes

LOTS OF WATER

I got orange stained skin from something they put on my body during surgery, don’t know exactly what it is

I’m actually very slow at walking

Walking around every few hours is one of the best things you could do

You need assistance to bathe, and I couldn’t take a shower for 48 hrs after surgery

Wipes are your friend

Greasy hair is expected to

Flannels and sweatpants are the best clothing options

My hunger has been up and down, sometimes I’m super hungry and sometimes I’m barely hungry

Painkillers and Tylenol are your absolute best friend

[beautifulqueerexistence]

Day 1 post op (Top Surgery was yesterday) - Woke up and I could tell the nerve block in my chest is starting to wear off. Ended up opting for the stronger meds and I’m waiting for those to kick in before we change the gauze underneath. It’s not too horrible, but the pain is definitely a consistent ache in my chest and upper arms. I feel really weak and sitting up on my own is hard without a hand as leverage. I ended up falling asleep REALLY hard last night, didn’t even text my partner goodnight. I keep telling myself that this is the hardest part. The first few days are the hardest.

[dino-boyo-agere]

I have an infection beneath my top surgery scar, a piece of stitching seems to have been eaten by the skin and is now causing infection.

I'll go to the clinic on Thursday (23.11.23) to get it removed, I'll make an update after!!

Look at this annoying little guy, causing me pain and discomfort.. How dare he be so cute & smol?!

And hat's what the area looks like:

!cw: swollen & red skin

It's hot to the touch and really tender, raising my left arm hurts and I'm really uncomfortable. :(

[trailmixedup]

OKAY! So!! I am one week post op from top surgery and here are the things I have learned:

• nothing prepares you for how fucking bloated you get. It is emotionally and physically devastating.

• eat protein or you’re going to start dreaming about it.

• get ready to literally not have any reading comprehension or speaking ability until you’re after the heavy pain med. and then after that as well…

• holy shit your back is gonna hurt. You can’t crack it. No twisting.

• you can’t use ice packs on your actual chest, but they’re lifesavers to sleep with- I put mine under my neck on my pillow to keep my neck from cramping.

• the pressure and tension on your chest is uncomfortable but not unbearable. Mostly it’s just annoying.

• you need pockets. Dear gods you NEED pockets.

• you do not want pants with a button. The button pants will not fit and it will make you sad. It’s just not even worth trying. Just have drawstring pants, it’s easier on the ego.

• wiping your ass is hard now. I’m sorry.

• blowing your nose hurts. Sneezing hurts. Coughing hurts. Laughing hurts. Just… avoid needing too much lung capacity all at once.

• If you have body hair prepare for your compression garments to hurt. My skin is so tender and painful all of the time. And there’s no break.

• if you keep your nipples you won’t be allowed to shower for 2 weeks. You’re going to start stinking. Have someone around you that is willing to wash your hair like how they wash babies hair. Also have rubbing alcohol so that you can neutralize your armpit stink because deodorant is off limits for your healing incisions.

• chapstick is not optional. You’re going to want it.

• same goes for a big cup with a well-sealed lid and a straw. Drink so much water.

• you’re going to feel helpless and useless. It sucks. It’s okay. Don’t push yourself.

• you’re going to want to wear pants with pockets to bed so you have somewhere to put your drains. You’ll be so tired that it doesn’t matter for the first couple days.

• you want the longest phone charger known to man. I promise. There is no such thing as too long.

• ask for the anti-nausea patch. You’re going to want it, and it lasts like 3 days. Throwing up HURTS.

• the healthier you can be before the surgery the easier your recovery is going to be. It isn’t fatphobic or stuck up or whatever else people say to lose excess weight and eat super clean before your surgery. Start moving your body every day. Start practicing going from sitting to standing and laying to standing without using your hands. Your body will reward effort to be healthy with safer surgery and easier healing.

• oh my god buy a serious laxative that you know works for you. Your body will literally forget how to shit.

• if you can, buy paper medical tape, gauze pads, and extra strength Tylenol. You will use them.

• plan to take naps. There is no weakness in a nap.

• get up and stretch your legs hourly. I promise it’s worth it. You will feel so much better.

• you’re going to want a hat or some sort of hair control.

• if the binder doesn’t fit you in the arm holes, you don’t have to let it chafe at your armpits and hurt like a mother fucker. Just cut the arm holes wider with a pair of scissors.

• have some sort of routine. You’ll fall apart otherwise.

• you’re going to be snippy and bitchy. Get ready to apologize for being an asshole. Short tempers happen, but don’t forget to say sorry.

• prepare yourself for all the random tape and other stuff to itch. You just have to grin and bear it. Things are so itchy.

That’s all I can think of right now, plus I’m sleepy. I will add to the list when I think of more ^_^

[asdro]

It's been six months since my top surgery!

The recovery process has definitely been easier than I thought, I'm so happy for doing this, for being able to have surgery in my hometown and for how I'm looking today.

Thanks to everyone who donated and/or shared my top surgery campaign, it was truly so helpful and I just couldn't have done it without your help.

And thanks to all the people out there trying to create a more inclusive and accesible world.

[1000-silverfish-in-a-hoodie]

Told my sister about my drains and she thought the liquid would be milk

[mother-shipper]

5 Weeks post op with Dr. Fosnot at UPenn!

[hydeingpurples]

Recovering from top surgery with Tourette's is going to be tough. My tics like to target wounds which is incredibly unfortunate.

Sitting with the constant urge to punch myself in the chest is incredibly difficult. It takes so much concentration not to do it, to redirect the tic. It's a horrible feeling. I'm so scared I'm going to damage it, pull something. I told my surgeon about my tics and she seemed confident it'd be okay so I have faith in her. Everything is glued and stitched together, and the post op binder and tight, so I doubt I'll do any damage. But it's so scary. All I can do is keep myself constantly occupied, ensure I keep my anxiety levels as low as possible, and keep pillows nearby so if I can't bare the urge anymore, at least i can hit the pillow.

[maplebean2003]

update: I've finally gotten approved for top surgery insurance wise so I was able to lower the goal amount yay!!! Now I only need help with supplies and gas as I save for a hotel!! :DD thank you everyone who have already donated and shared around this means so so much

My Amazon list if you are more comfortable is

[freonblue]

them post-op blues kicked in

[angelic-transsexual]

I am getting a revision surgery for top surgery.

I am not upset by this. Needing revision surgeries are not something people should be ashamed of. Sometimes things just don’t workout the way you expect them to.

Also please don’t shame people for needing revisions?? I was not “botched.” Or anything of the sort. My results simply are not what I was expecting and I feel very neutral about getting another surgery on my chest. I’ve gone through top surgery recovery once, this is not new to me.

[beautifulqueerexistence]

Day two post op (Top Surgery Update, SURGICAL TALK AND RECOVERY WARNING): I have a minor hematoma on my left side. The swelling started yesterday, and this morning it was real bruised. My incision is weepy and the fluid in my drains seems to be normal and pretty consistent. It’s darker than my other side, but my surgeon doesn’t seem concerned. I’ll likely have to keep the left drain in for a bit longer than my right. We’re pretty sure it’s going to go away on its own, because the swelling went down a bit overnight, and should only be a minor hiccup!

As for pain, the explanation of “feeling like I got punched really hard in each peck” is still pretty accurate! Most of the discomfort is from the swelling itself, and is more of a dull soreness. Gauze got successfully changed without any lightheadedness, which is an improvement over yesterday!! I learned the hard way that electrolytes and eating before taking the binder off for any maintenance is CRUCIAL. I also learned my pain tolerance is pretty high, and I’m managing pretty well on just OTC meds without having to take the opiates. Still super weak, but it’s early on and I’m seeing small improvements already. Mostly just trying to keep myself from feeling COMPLETELY helpless, doing the little tasks on my own where I can, but still very very heavily reliant on the help of my family.

[oleanderblume]

Hey I'm healing from top surgery so I'm gonna masterwork the stages of healing I've been experiencing cause people are always leaving shit out :D

• You will sleep. Often.

So, basically after I got my surgery done, I had a whole concoction of medication and all of it knocks you the *fuck* out. If you fight it, you're simultaneously fighting God. That being said, take it. It's made to make your existence more bearable. Because if you're Top Surgery came with liposuction, like mine did, wherever you had liposuction will hurt. So just count on doing just about fuck all during that first week.

• You will need help, accept it.

And I mean with things you don't think you should need help with. Yes, getting tall things, but also in that first week and ESPECIALLY the first couple of days post op, you might even need help getting out of bed, opening doors.

The general rule here is you can't life anything over 15lbs, but *really* it's "you can't do anything where you can feel your stitches pulling" which is basically everything sans going to the bathroom. For me, the hardest thing was being so in need of assistance, that I legitimately couldn't lift my torso up enough to get out of bed, I figured it out after day 3 though.

• You will probably have to have drains, get over it. And yes. They suck, but for a specific reason.

Everyone talks about how shitty drains are, but I've never heard them say *why* drains suck because they hurt after a period of time. Usually around end of week 1, and for me, all of week 2. By week 2, I legitimately wanted to Rio these Fulkerson out.

But I wanted to rip them out because of a bunch of reasons.

1. They werr placed in a way where i couldn't see them and had limited access to the insertion site, closer to my back than my side. This made it very hard to deal with near the end for reason 2.

2. They fucking itch, and if they don't itch, they legitimately hurt. (This is why that pain medication is helpful imo.) The insertion site has loose stitches keeping the drains in your body, and your skin eventually wants to heal around it, now imagine constantly itching and/or aching, in a place you can't touch or even fucking see— constantly.

3. It's kind of gross. This wasn't a big issue for me. I have a morbid curiosity (I wanted to take a video of my sister pulling out my drains bit they didn't) but for folks who don't like the idea of having to pour out your body juices to measure and record, that can be squicky.

4. Fucking dogs. Dogs and quick movements, especially of other people is the MOST terrifying, because I was constantly afraid of pur dog jumping up and tearing those fuckers out of my body.

Now I'm gonna talk about the actual healing process and how that feels.

Week One— The least painful, but most disabling.

The first couple of days, I was essentially entirely reliant on my sister. I couldn't go to the bathroom without her help to get out of bed. At this time, you still have the anesthesia in your system so you can't feel a whole lot, other than gravity, and you're still pretty sleepy. It's advised to get up Avery few hours to shuffle around, but honestly, taking a nap is all you'll want to do.

Of course, the sitting up rule still holds, you can't really lay flat on your back, and you won't want to, because it's hard to fucking get up without help.

As far as pain goes, you don't feel much in the actual surgery site. Some surgeons include additional liposuction (this method is used to reduce the liklihood of dog ears or excess skin from the procedure itself)

^^^this will be the most painful thing during the first week^^^

It's because you get a lot of bruising, both external and internally when you have liposuction and it causes a lot of aching. The ache will gradually fade around the week 1 end, especially if you heal well from bruising you might have some numbness left over, but likely not from the liposuction. Those bits will be tender. You'll be given (or have bought) a compression garment that will come in very handy. It's not the same as a binder in that it's much easier to remove. The tightness won't be as restrictive, and it will help with liposuction healing and keeping your gauze in place. This is made to be worn basically 24/7 with exception of showers and washing. It *will* chafe, and you *will not* feel it. Prepare for that.

You can't physically do much of anything during this week, I couldn't open or close heavy doors, grab anything heavier than maybe 5 lbs, and most definitely not reach for anything. As mentioned, I couldn't lift my own ass out of bed, so I definitely couldn't drive. They *say* you can drive after the first 2 days. Don't. 1, you're probably on pain medication which knocks you put in about an hour of taking and 2, you're probably underestimating the strength and movement involved in using a steering wheel.

Over all, this is actually the easiest part of healing, pain wise. It's definitely the hardest if you don't have someone to care for you and help you during this time because you most definitely can't do it on your own.

Week Two— This one fucking SUCKS.

This is the week that the anesthesia has definitely worn off and you're running in pain medication. I was given a concoction of Gabapentin, Oxycodone, Diazepam, and over the counter Extra Strength Tylenol. Use them. Probably more than you think you should, honestly.

I had/have a very bad habit of not taking my pain medication as much as I should be because I'm low-key afraid of overdosing, but honestly. You won't overdose unless you take waaay too much of all your meds at once.

You'll still have to be sleeping sat up a bit, but you'll have significantly more mobility and strength— that doesn't mean you can over extend yourself. The 15lb rule still exists, and you don't want to extend your arms fully.

At this point, you'll be regaining feeling, it won't be a whole lot, but it comes in stages. (I'll go in depth near the end of the post)

This is when the drains become an aggravation. If you haven't had them taken out by end of week 1, week 2 you more than likely will, and up until then, they will get worse and worse to deal with.

For me, because of where they were placed, they were directly where I couldn't see them and couldn't fuck with them, but I laid on them every night, and of course, my skin was beginning to heal over the sutures, causing aching and unbearable itchiness. THIS is why you want to take your meds. In addition, remember how I mentioned the compression garment and the chafing? You're still wearing that. And if you haven't been closely watching your chafing, by week 2, you're made fully aware of it, because your under arms and sides will have gained feeling by then, and it will fucking hurt. Get band-aids. I have a stack of them up and down my sides where my drains were, and where I've chafed the most.

By your first week post op appointment, the surgeon has probably removed your gauze and any sutures covers for nipple grafts. They'll tell you how to do nipple and scar care. This varies from surgeon to surgeon, but I'll tell you about mine.

I had nipple grafts, so for week 1, I had little gauze squares on top of my nipples and sutures into my skin to protect them. At my post op those were removed and my nipples were covered in Vaseline and telfa paper. (It's basically a medical gauze covered in a plastic that easily sticks to moisturizing gels)

As for my actual top surgery scars, instead of having open sutures, I have my stitches, along side these sticky "brackets" they are plastic and run along my front and sides, except for directly under my nipples because of proximity. The plastic little brackets act as a tension that essentially pulls my skin together and keeps the stitches from stretching and forming wide scars. They fall off on their own once the skin has healed to the point that the tension isn't sufficient for them to keep sticking to my skin (they legit look like little plastic bridges and they are very satisfying swimming tools if you like running your fingers along the bumps they make under your binder) they also move over time, my two center ones have formed a triangle lol.

These brackets prevent me from having to do regimented scar care that some other folks have to post op, so I'd ask about them in your consultations :) you still have daily nipple moisturizing, and draining if you still have drains, but that takes a load off of the laundry list of shit you have to keep track of every day.

NOW FOR PAIN :D

You will be in pain. First it will be itching. The most annoying, persistent itching you have ever felt in your life, and you have to be incredibly care where it's coming from. This itching is actually normal. Itching is the lowest registry of pain your body has, and as you heal and your nerves regenerate, you will feel a variety of very weird things, but most definitely it will involve pain and itching.

Next will be what I'm gonna term "zingers" these are like spikes of tingly pain that you get in your chest, probably in your nipples the most. They don't really hurt, so much as just feel particularly strange and they are annoying too. Not everyone will experience this, and not necessarily both nipples or at this stage, it's highly dependent on how you heal and if you regain feeling in your nipples at all.

I was expecting myself to never regain feeling in my nipples again because of the type of surgery I had (double incision) so it took me by pleasant (and also awful) surprise.

Other weird sensations as your nerves begin regenerating are "hot/cold" and "inexplicable tightness" and of course, "let's ache".

•hot/cold is basically if you took IcyHot or Vicks Vapor Rub or any kind of menthol topical ointment and rubbed it all over your chest. It doesn't hurt, but it is very interesting. It only lasted about 2 days for me, but it was notable.

•inexplicable tightness is exactly as it says. It *feels* like your skin is being pinched, this also doesn't exactly *hurt* but it's not a particularly pleasant feeling. It's just your nerves waking up and going "Oh hey, I'm closer than I was to my neighbor than the last time I checked" it's more noticeable when standing and you feel compelled to hunch over a bit because it's sort of tricking you into thinking your skin will somehow rip open if you don't. At least, it does that for me lol.

• let's ache is also exactly what it's called. It's specifically (for me, mind you) a persistent and constant ache directly along my stitches, specifically the part that wasn't given brackets because of how close it is to my nipples. This is probably the only part of me that hurts not *just* because of nerve regeneration, but also because of increased movement and higher tension because j can't put brackets there. However, I do put scar tape there, which helps, if possibly only through placebo.

By far though, the most distracting pain will be from your drains, if you still have them in.

Medication does weird stuff to your sleep pattern and dreams— additional notes.

So, because I've only just ended my Week Two of post Top Surgery, I'm gonna talk about the weird shit that the medication does and it's major affects.

So, my prescription is 2 antibiotics, 2 pain pills, 1 anxiety med, 1 antinausea. I also have over the counter pain medication, but it's functionally useless right now.

My personal routine is wake up, take antibiotics, and take at least 1 of the prescribed pain meds. My oxy lasts 6 hrs, the gabas last 12. Both will make you sleepy and dizzy, and also give you weird fucking dreams and royally fuck up your sleep schedule.

So, if you've not noticed, you'll be sleeping a lot. You're in the process of healing, and your body literally won't let you stay awake for much longer than 3 or 4 hours in that first week. Later on, it gets much easier, and if your me and don't *want* to be unconscious 90% of the time, it becomes a toss up between "Do I want to take ineffective Tylenols and be awake but in pain the whole time? Or do I want to take effective prescribed pain meds and have to lie down for a nap in roughly an hour because I'm too loopy/mentally foggy to carry on a conversation?"

The prescription wins most every time lol. Soon, as a result, I sleep a vast majority of the time. I can technically stay up in spite of the medication, but it is *very* hard, and even harder if you're trying to be active. Gabapentin is longer lasting and stronger than my oxycodone, and it makes your head feel like it's full of cotton balls. It works fantastic for pain relief, but at the cost of precision motor function and focus.

It gets harder to walk and carry on a conversation because it's a sedative and you're actively fighting your body saying "go the fuck to sleep"

Other weird side effects from the drugs and the healing have are psychological and emotional!!

It's commonly said that post top surgery you can have depression, and I would say yes— but also no.

It's more of being at the mercy of wildly fluctuating emotions and how they manifest. Typically in the form of crying, I've noticed. But not necessarily depression as I'm familiar with it.

Now, this can be for more reasons than *just* medication, and it has no bearing, in my opinion on how one might truly feel about their operation. Some factors include whether or not you take testosterone.

Low testosterone is known to be a cause of depression in cis men, and it works exactly the same for trans men and people who take testosterone. Previous to your surgery, you'll be required to stop taking a lot of your medications, including T if you're on it. This massive dip in T can *definitely* contribute to feeling depressed post op, but for a lot of guys familiar with T, this is a kind of depression you can largely tell is artificial— because it goes away the next time you take your dose XD

Other things that affect your mood is of course, your own hormones. The human body runs on hormones, and our body having gone through invasive surgery like top surgery will of course put your body in overdrive to repair broken connections, and to do that, it releases hormones. Which, in addition to reaction chemically inside you for healing purposes, also are the things that literally control your emotions.

This, in combination with the medication you've been prescribed, and the medication you've had to delay taking, can have a major impact on your mood and mental health. It doesn't necessarily mean you regret getting top surgery (you would know if you did)

But it can manifest in fluctuating mood, how you respond to emotional or psychological stimuli, dreams, nightmares, and how subconscious fears may manifest in them and the occasional intrusive thought. Also you will probably cry. And probably a lot. Over stupid shit too.

Things I've cried over in the past 2 weeks.

Typing "things I've cried over in the past 2 weeks"

A 5 second clip of futurama

A 15 minute excerpt from a 3 hr video essay of a gay furry dating Sim I have literally never heard of or played.

Talking about crying or what I've cried about so far, even when no emotions are attached.

Thanking a person for talking to me.

A good hug

The fact I can't watch Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius.

A video essay about Wizards of Waverly Place.

A donut

That my brother helped me get cheerios down from the pantry because I can't reach that high right now.

My sister getting me curry

Curry in general (tearing up typing it right now)

Getting top surgery

As you can see, a lot of those are just weird shit to sob over for a solid 5-45 minutes.

I've also had a bunch of super weird dreams, and the biggest cause of that (aside from drugs and healing) is sleeping position and pre-existing conditions.

I have sleep paralysis, it's a chronic condition triggered by sleeping on my back, and unfortunately, when healing from top surgery, you have no choice but to sleep on your back for at least two weeks :D

So that's a thing to be wary of, if you deal with that.

Okay, that's all I got in terms of stuff that I haven't ever seen people talk about or even mention in regards to top surgery. So yeah.

Oh also, I have 2 (lightly used) GC2B tank binders to give away. One is trans pride colors, the other is a olive green. Size XL (ideal for folks with at least 38 C cup size) so if anyone is interested dm me :)