#from what ive read the main reason he even went was to please his father :((((

[xx0yeet-everything0xx]

please dont cancel me but actually i do feel pretty bad for the teen boy who died in the submarine ://

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I messaged this to a friend but I'm too consumed with Ficino thoughts this morning so am putting it on the main-feed for everyone:

Obviously, as the assiduous followers of my Marsilio Blogging know, I recieved two more volumes of his letter collection recently. I had Volumes I and II already and have received III and IV.

Naturally, I went and skimmed all the ones he wrote Giovanni, first before going back and reading them as they were meant to be read.

It got me thinking about the slight differences between the included letters to Giovanni compared to everyone else.

Namely, the ones to Giovanni are more varied in that Marsilio includes the philosophical and theological letters alongside the far more day-to-day letters which don't, to my mind, hold much merit for a clearly carefully curated philosophical letter collection.

And Giovanni is the only one he does this with (of course). Not Piero Soderini, Angelo Poliziano, Bernardo Bembo—all close friends. Nor does he really do it with family—and he includes quite a few letters to his cousin Sebastiano Salvini, who Ficino basically raised as a son after he was orphaned at twelve. But none of them, thus far, have had that same day-to-day, familiar intimacy as some of those included to Giovanni.

Because Ficino was meticulous in what he wrote and what he included in his collected works! So it makes sense that he weeds out the letters of "Sebastiano, please remember to tell my brother, your other uncle, that he needs to follow up with that one guy about such-and-such business" etc. We have letters from him to his parents about all sorts of regular family business, including one consoling them on the death of his younger brother Anselmo in 1462 (I presume Anselmo was Sebastiano's father as that was when we know Sebastiano to have been orphaned even though I don't have info on who Seb's parents were [i.e., which of Marsilio's brothers/sisters]).

Ficino was a prolific letter writer (up there with Poggio Bracciolini) but many of them, of course, are not fit for a high minded philosophical letter collection.

Except letters to Giovanni. Including such gems as, “my [our] nephew won’t shut up about slings and arrows of fortune etc. Please make sure I didn’t chew him out too much in my response and send it on to him if it looks alright” and "I just got to the countryside and am writing to let you know I arrived safe. Here are some letters for people back in Florence, can you pass them on?" and "I miss you, please write to me more. I love you. Please write to me more. Have you thought about writing to me more?" and "Ok, look, honey, I get that I write you 5 million letters a week, and you can't reply to them all, and you're being very nice in telling me that you can't reply to them all, but I am bored and I miss you" and "if I see Luigi Pulci's ugly mug one more time I will commit a violent crime and I cannot be held responsible for my actions" and "saw my brother, he says hi" and "this one person is really annoying me, I've written many letters about it, please pick the least offensive one I wrote and send it to him," so on and so forth.

The seemingly more casual/non-philosophic letters to people not Giovanni are included for political or personal-score settling reasons (I'm thinking primarily of the ones to Giuliano and Lorenzo de' Medici about Luigi Pulci; some to Bernardo Bembo because it was to help demonstrate/symbolize the strong friendship between Florence and Venice, especially during the Pazzi wars when Bembo was in the hot seat back home in Venice for being so pro-Florence) etc.

I've got nothing profound or insightful to say in this, just expressing my Marsilio-Loved-Giovanni-So-Much Brain Worms. It's just very sweet that he included so much of their relationship, and their dynamic, in the collection! That's all.

[buckyownsmylife]

daddy issues - chapter iv

The one where Ransom doesn’t feel ready to become a father, but he should have thought about it before sleeping with a complete stranger.

When Ransom’s latest one night stand lets him know that he’s going to become a father, he finds himself looking for the qualities he never believed to have so he can become the parent he never got to witness as a child.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist. It’s being constantly updated and if you’d like to be tagged on my following Chris Evans and characters stories, just fill out this form.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Okay, I’m here now. What was the important thing you had to tell me about?” Ana’s arrival startled me, and I almost spilled some of the hot chocolate I had been clinging to like a lifeline while I waited for her arrival. I’d never been one to really crave the sweet drink when it wasn’t near Christmas, but I guess things really were starting to feel different now.

I took a deep breath while I waited for my friend to place her order, trying to get my nerves in check. It’d been a few hours since I stormed out of Ransom’s office and I still felt my heartbeat slightly out of pace, begging me to look for dangers lurking in the shadows that weren’t really there.

This would be my first time telling someone who was already a part of my life about the new one I was supposed to bring into the world. Ana was a mock test for how I would tell my parents about the baby, and the fact that apparently, there would be no other parent in sight.

The thought had me looking at my phone, as if some part of me was still waiting for Ransom to reach out. It’d only been half a day. It was okay if he needed more time to figure things out - this wasn’t exactly easy news to bear, I would know. It took me more than a few hours to process everything. 

But still, I was surprised that there was a part of me that believed he would actually want to be a part of this. I didn’t know a lot about him, but from what I did read while searching for his work address, he didn’t seem like the type of guy who would bother showing up as a parent.

“Hello? Are you still there?” Once again I was awakened from my thoughts by Ana’s sweet voice, this time paired with a concerned face. “Okay, now I’m worried. What is it exactly that you need to tell me? Did something happen?”

Okay, here it goes.

“I’m pregnant.”

After the understandable fit of laughter when she immediately assumed I was joking, the following guilty apology for not believing in me and the incessant questioning about how the situation had come to be, I was finally done talking and the reality of what was happening seemed to finally be settling in on her.

“Oh my God, you’re actually pregnant. With Ransom Drysdale’s baby.” Instinctively, my hands covered my belly, even though it was in no way, shape or form, any different from how it looked like just a month ago.

“Excuse me? I’m pregnant with my own child. Ransom might choose to be a part of it, but it’s still mine, I’m not just a carrier for his genes.” Something in the look she sent me had my insides freezing, and I immediately felt vulnerable. “What?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but seemed to think better and shook her head, looking down at her drink instead, but I needed to know. So I reached out and put my hand over hers, so she’d know to look me in the eye again. “What?” I repeated, and even though she took a deep breath to gather her courage, she ended up spilling out anyway.

“I just don’t think you should get your hopes up about him wanting to be a part of this, that’s all.” The sentence surprised me, even though I wasn’t getting my hopes up anyway. It just seemed like there was something she knew, something that made her 100% certain about him not deciding to call me that had my stomach in knots.

It seemed like, even though I didn’t want to admit it, the thought of doing this completely alone terrified me.

“Why?” Again, Ana seemed to hesitate. Still, it seemed like she knew this was something I needed to hear, because after taking a sip of her drink, she launched right at it.

“He’s just not the type, hun. You just moved here, so you don’t know, but he’s always been a screw-up. Everyone was so surprised when he actually decided to settle down with his trust fund, playboy lifestyle and assume his grandfather’s company. I still don’t think he actually works there, anyway. He’s probably just the face of the business, so he’d stop openly doing stuff that’d hurt his family’s name.”

I had heard of Ransom before, of course - hence why the name was recognizable to me that morning at his place. Right after I moved, his takeover became the main story in the local news, and the way it was portrayed by the press made it very clear that the surprising aspect of it was how this wasn’t something to be expected of him. But I thought the bad parts of his story had been a thing of the past - he was a man now. I mean, I never would have slept with him if he wasn’t so clearly older than thirty, maybe even thirty-five. Just how immature could a man in that age really be?

Apparently, a lot. Ana told me as much about his not-so-ancient past as she possibly could, before she had to leave to get ready for a date, and then I was left with a running mind and my fully-charged phone to google the shit out of him, finding much more than I ever thought I could possibly discover on the internet.

Guess finding someone’s work address really isn’t a big deal when their dick is out for the world to see.

Sitting with all of that information only made Ana’s parting words resonate even more through me. “No reason to feel down about it, hun! He’s definitely not worth it. Even if he did end up wanting this child anyway, he’s not really fit to become a father, anyway.”

Maybe it would have been easier to digest all of that if she’d managed to sleep on it and work through her issues in the morning, like she usually did. But all her plans for the evening went downhill when she arrived home in the pouring rain, to find Ransom waiting for her just outside her apartment’s door.

[rangerslayer-97]

Things That Will Never Be Said

I got hit with more inspiration and curse my brain that I can’t write anything that isn’t angst. For the time being.

Time is set where my Knight Guardian main Violcrik is the Outlander and Commander of the Alliance. Set post-Echoes of Oblivion, during the Knight only Alliance Alert "The Padawan Returns". Mentions of previous game choices during Shadow of Revan, Knights of the Fallen Empire, Eternal Throne and Onslaught.

~~~~~

WARNINGS: Angst, Hurt, Unrequited love, One-sided attraction, Minor emotional manipulation (I could be wrong, but I'm covering borders)

~~~~

Summary: Lana comes to terms that she does have buried feelings for Commander Violcrik, but learns someone else won the. Commander’s heart.

~~~~~

Dark Advisor and Alliance Second-in-Command Sith Lord Lana Beniko, the former Minister of Sith Intelligence walked the War Room as she sifts though data on her data pad from various individuals and her contacts. The Commander, former Jedi Knight and Battle Master of the Jedi Order, Violcrik Baliss was taking a much deserved break after the battle of the Meridian Shipyard Complex on Corellia. Lana worries Violcrik hasn’t given enough time to herself to relax. The Commander has always been on her feet, sometimes pulling all-nighters, drinking a lot of caff or taking a concerning amount of stims. Lana felt after Corellia, Violcrik deserves the downtime after running between Ossus, Onderon and Mek-Sha. It was one battle after another. Unbeknownst to the Republic, the Knight’s home faction, Violcrik has chosen to align with the Sith Empire. It came as a surprise to Lana, but a welcome one, even Empress Acina has been made aware of the Commander’s choice. She is pleased that the Empire now has a spy in the Republic ranks. Lana did send a subtle warning to not overstep their bounds with the Commander and that the Alliance is still an independent third-party. Empress Acina respected the warning loud and clear.

The Sith Lord understands the Commander’s reasonings. A lot of them stem from what occurred during the war against the Eternal Empire. Violcrik often confided with her about her gradually crumbling fate with the Republic. These words were normally spoken when Theron Shan, former Republic SIS Agent, was out of earshot. They knew Theron would try to remind the Jedi that the Republic is still good. Violcrik told her she felt her faction had all but abandoned her, the Jedi Order had forsaken her, though she always felt like an outcast in the Order. Lana listened when the Commander revealed the crimes she committed for the ‘good of the Republic’, two of which were definite counts of war crimes. The Sith knew Violcrik wasn’t like the other Jedi, she was emotional, passionate, will do what needs to be done. As a Dark Sider, Lana did find that as an attractive quality. These qualities often put her at odd's end with the High Jedi Council. The Commander admitted she locked horns with the Council members more than she cared to count.

It is enough to say that Lana became Violcrik's go-to for private talks, personal. The Sith advisor is good at reading people and she knows the Commander has a lot on her mind that she hasn't been able to get off her chest. Lana did suggest therapy at one point, but Violcrik laughed it off, claiming she didn't need to see a therapist; and seeing one would ruin her image and reputation. It was never brought up again. The former Jedi did open up to her about her past, it was one Lana would never wish on anyone. Alderaan is a planet for the rich, snobbery and being born out of wedlock can lead to a family name being ruined. Violcrik and her sisters were all but wiped off the family tree, none entitled to an inheritance by their father. From the way Violcrik spoke about her father, there was malice, there was anger and there was hatred. Such intense emotions almost made Lana dizzy.

During the war against the Eternal Empire, even up to now, Lana had taken time out of her schedule to teach Violcrik how to control her darkness. She won't deny there is a danger of having a rogue Dark Jedi running around the galaxy. The Sith Lord herself has witnessed several times, the Commander giving into her darkness; and many times, seeing her eyes change from deep blue to deep orange that nearly glowed. Lana won't lie there are some days she is afraid of what Violcrik is capable of if she lost control. Violcrik did prove as her short stint as Empress, that she will resort to using fear and terror. The last time she got concerned was over the Commander's reliance on Valkorion's powers when he resided inside her mind. Of course, they did get at odds with each other when Violcrik lied to her about Valkorion sharing her mind. It took some days to get one another's trust back. Yet… then she remembers the Commander went her way to save her twice and refused to leave her side during the breakout with… that's beside the point. Violcrik saved her twice and when the Alliance was set up, the Commander intended to speak to either her or Theron (long before he got banished after defeating the Order of Zildrog). Lana had a feeling Violcrik wanted to speak to her alone, but when Koth soured the mood; the Battle Master told them to forget about it and walked away.

The Dark Advisor knows things were left unsaid between them. Lana needed to know what it was. When they made love on Yavin IV after they defeated Revan, there was something between them. It wasn't just a physical attraction. While to some it may have appeared as a one-night stand or a fling, but it must not have been, otherwise Violcrik wouldn't have flirted with her during the disaster on Ziost. Though the timing was quite poor on Violcrik's end, the spark between them was there, fresh, a crackle of electricity that was about to spark into a flame. While the Commander hadn't approached to talk about her feelings, Lana respected that. She wasn't going to impose. Lana can't hold it in now after six years of waiting, she is in with love with Commander Violcrik Baliss. She tried to deny the feelings when Violcrik didn't come to her, so she held the emotions in. Now, they can't be held in any longer. Maybe the Commander was scared to come forward and admit her feelings. It is scary territory, to open yourself up and give your heart to someone. Perhaps... maybe the Commander was waiting.

Lana had tried to deny her feelings, but now… she no longer can't. Dark Advisor Lana Beniko is in love with Commander Violcrik Baliss. She's going to confess her feelings now. No more waiting. The Sith Lord turned to Teeseven, asking where the Commander is now. The astromech told her he had last seen her head to the Force Enclave, which means she's nearby. Lana thanked Teeseven, shut off her datapad and headed for the Force Enclave. She followed the Force signature she felt, small amounts of Light being drowned under the heavy blanket of Darkness.

Her heart was beating fast, Lana ran through several different ways to confess her feelings and not sound like an idiot. There was an unusual skip in the Sith Lord's step, both Republic and Imperial troops dare didn't question what made the stoic advisor so happy. Lana made it to the entrance of the Enclave. Sana-Rae was off somewhere. The advisor was about to call out to the Commander, only to see… it was Knight Carsen. She and the former Emperor's Wrath, Lord Scourge joined the Alliance after finally be ridding Valkorion and his previous incarnations, Vitiate and Tenebrae. It appears the Commander and Carsen are talking, Lana couldn't hear what, but judging by her body language; something was said to make the Commander's former Padawan disgustingly giggly like a young Jedi Initiate.

Then the two stepped into each other's personal space. Lana's heart dropped like a heavy weight. She watched as the two embraced each and… they kissed. The Commander and Carsen… kissed. So is this why Violcrik never let her feelings be known to her? Had they always belonged… to her? Then what were they? Friends? Friends with benefits? A fling? Is the Commander stupid!? Getting with Carsen, who is undoubtedly loyal to the Republic? Who is quite clearly oblivious to the Commander's true loyalty!? The Commander who is happily turning against her own faction! Who severely weakened the Republic fleet en route to Corellia and destroyed their newly built shipyard that could have tipped the war in an ongoing resource crisis!?

Fair enough, let Carsen be the one broken when the Commander's betrayal come to light. Violcrik will end up running back to her. No, she has to stop these thoughts. Lana is angry, that the Commander made her feel she was nothing more than a fling. At the same time, after the Commander went through her dark period in life after being awoken from carbonite, she can't do anything but respect the choice. Lana won't resort to pettiness, she will respect Violcrik and her choices, who she gives her heart to. It appears now, she must step back. After six years, the Commander deserves this. This… this happiness.

No, not deserve. Deserve is a crutch for the weak. Lana will take happiness where she can find it. She will not blame the Commander for finding hers.

The Dark Advisor silently slips away from the entrance of the Force Enclave, her head bowed down and a single tear slipping down her cheek.

[graceedcoup]

Please tell me you're very detailed headcanon about Asmo holding the family together and raising Satan, because I headcanon that too.

Hi! I appreciate this literally so much I'm gonna kiss you on the mouth. Have a beautiful day ♡

I'd like to start off talking about this by acknowledging the fact that this entire very long headcanon hinges entirely on the fact that I'm ignoring canon details that support the suggestion that Satan was born as a fully grown demon and not formed as an infant who had to grow through formative childhood developmental stages. I would rather believe the latter because I lov..E Ba-biEs *ahem*.. because its more fun to think about.

Before I start I would also like to say that this is part of a much bigger more complicated idea about the dynamic each brother has with eachother and their own personal childhoods and histories, which I've went into some detail about with Levi just recently. But that was all still when they were celestial beings.

Let's fast forward to right after the fall. The brothers are all war damaged, bloody, grieving, guilty, humiliated. Lucifer has just basically been strongarmed into permanently pledging his loyalty to someone he doesn't yet trust or like at all just to get a second chance for his sister who he will never see again and is still effectively dead to him, and to make sure his family has some security. Which I think may be the piece of fuel in the fire inside him that finally expels this fucking hairball of repressed emotion into a living breathing little... infant demon. That absolutely no one asked for. Cue Lucifer having the worst cast of postpartum you've ever seen and resenting the fuck out of this baby and everything it represents and every bit more stress its gonna pile onto him.

But never fear, thats why family is here! Except they're not. They've all got their own shit to deal with. Mammon is already taking care of the rest of his siblings 24/7. He can barley make time to eat or sleep. Levi is very badly hurt, having been a target in the actual battle because of his former status in the army of angels and having gone through a very dramatic change to his body even compared to the rest of his brothers, he can't move very much yet. Belphie is struggling very hard with his newfound vice, he can rarley keep his eyes open, and when he can, hes grieving, hard. He was extremely close to Lilith. Beel... is an entirely different person. Quiet is an understatement. Hes nearly motionless for days at a time in his misery and deeeep in survivors guilt.

And Asmo is also hurt. They all are but him, not quite as badly. Emotionally he's taken a big blow, he's confused, he feels hideous and disgusted by himself, his new body and these new... feelings. He looks for a distraction. Hes been looking for days but his big brother just coughed out a little brother and Asmodeus instantly has stars in his eyes. If any of them have any kind of maternal instinct, its this one. Love is, after all, his whole thing. That horrible little tantruming ball of pure demonic fury is his new baby brother and hes never been happier to step up to the plate. Lucifer is almost too eager to let Asmo hold him the first time and from that moment on those two are inseparable.

-> Taking a pause from this pseudo fic to point out the thing that got me thinking about all this in the first place was a conversation about halfway through season one where MC refuses to make a pact with Satan the first time because he's doing it to spite Lucifer. They ask the brothers what the fuck is going on with that and they all have a little sit-down where they talk about his birth. All the brothers present look kind of uncomfortable but share the story as clearly as they can. But Asmo looks like this and gives this line:

He looks downright excited and this is the only line we get about actually raising him we get. For some reason it stuck with me, idk why. Asmo just seems so proud to share about how they taught Satan to be a person. Back to how I think that went

-> Asmo quickly learns about his ability to charm other demons and just as soon as he learns how to control that he feels comfortable using a very mild form of it to calm this baby the fuck down. And it works! Thank his cold uncaring father it works. Satan smiles for the first time in his life and he sheds a few tears both in relief and at how unbearably cute he is when he's not screaming. As soon as this baby is manageable and his brothers aren't in nearly as much pain, they all start pitching in. Doing whatever it takes to calm him down, finding things to make him happy. They make the disturbing discovery that its mostly gore that makes him smile. And yanking other peoples hair. His first giggle comes with a tiny fistful of newly-black strands he won't let go of.

Even with his brothers contributing to his care, Asmo still has a major part in keeping him company. Lucifer pitches in the most after him but if his favorite caretaker isn't around hes fussy as all hell.

Asmo, being blessed with the emotional intelligence the rest of his family seems to lack, is responsible for calming the kid down and teaching him healthier ways to manage his anger and stress. He teaches him meditation and yoga and self care. Hes the only one of his brothers with both the interest and patience to teach him how to read, how to cook, how to mind his manners. His anger never disappears. Hes still more prone to outbursts than any of his siblings ever were. Hes still much more violent when he does snap. But he can control it better than he could the day before and he keeps improving. Week after week and year after year, Satan grows into somebody all his brothers are proud of.

And hes still bonded to Asmodeus the most. Despite their clashing personalities they manage to get along perfectly and spend quite a bit of time together.

Theyre paired off in Devilgram and even the main body of the story quite a bit. Asmos even is Satan's background picture during phonecalls. I'm not sure if I'm reading way too far into that wait I totally am or if the writers are even aware they're doing that but I think its sweet and ive been thinking about it for months. Thank you for the opportunity to organize it all into one place ♡

[side-shawty]

Ivy’s Daughter • Two

Title: Ivy’s Daughter • Two

Fandom: DC

Type: series

Prompt/Summary: Poison Ivy asks Batman to care for her daughter.

Pairing(s): (eventual) Damian Wayne x Reader (aged up), Batfamily x Reader

Requested? Yes

It took two weeks for J’onn to permanently stabilize Y/N’s mind and for Bruce to utilize everything Ivy gave him to create a compound that stabilized her growth. She would age slower than the average person but it was better than the accelerated growth rate she had to begin with.

He also tried to acquaint her as much as he could with society and its norms. His kids would take care of whatever he missed. Or at least he hoped so.

In this time you were staying in a room at the League HQ. The very first time you opened your eyes the first thing you were met with was a ceiling full of stars against the darkness of space.

Every inch of you was filled with shock and surprise but you stood quickly and almost knocked over the IV as it was ripped from your arm with the movement.

You called for your mother, and when no answer found your ears you began to panic. You attempted to open the doors, the first was a bathroom and the second one was certainly the exit because it had been sealed shut.

“Let me out!” You screamed and waited. No answer again.

You looked around the room for something that could help you get the door open but the room was bare save for your bed, a nightstand with a bamboo plant, and two plastic chairs against the wall under a window.

Your breathing was heavy and ragged as you dragged yourself to the said window and looked out of it. You were slowly floating through space and the Earth was shining back at you with it’s beautiful blue and green.

You were terrified but for some reason, the view made your breathing slow and you took deep breaths.

Panicking now would do nothing, you had to think of a plan. As you were racking your brain for ideas there was a soft hiss as the door slid open.

Your head quickly whipped around to eye the figures standing in the doorway. An uncowled Batman and Superman were both looking to you with sympathy clouding their eyes.

“Hello, Y/N,” Batman said, “My name is —“

“Bruce Wayne,” you cut him off, “My mother told me about you. She said I could trust you. Where is she?” You asked.

“In hiding,” Bruce said stepping closer with his hands raised in front of him. You didn’t of him as a threat but appreciated the gesture.

“Why?” You asked.

“In order to keep you safe, she had to do some things she’s not proud of. There are some bad people after her now, so she left you in my care,” Bruce told you, now only a few steps away. He put his hands at his side.

“No,” you said, “bring me back. I want to be with my mother.”

“I don’t know where she is,” He said.

The anger that flared in your eyes made Superman shift on his feet at his place in front of the closed door.

Before you got the chance to speak again Bruce continued, “I spoke to her before she left. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you very much but this is the only way to keep you safe.”

“Throwing me into outer space? I would have been better off at home, I can take care of myself,” you said, crossing your arms.

As if the universe had been personally involved in this conversation the station rocked and you lost your footing, Bruce caught you before you could hit the ground.

After releasing you, he looked to Superman and sighed, “Jason is here with Bizzaro. Make sure they don’t break anything else, please.”

Superman looked wary before nodding his head and exiting the room.

“Jason? As in your son—Red Hood?” You asked. Batman’s eyes went wide for a millisecond before he recovered.

“Yes. You’ll be meeting him when we go home.”

“And when will that be?”

“Tonight.”

———

You were given a pair of black jeans, boots, and a long-sleeved t-shirt to change into when Bruce told you it was time to go. It was the last thing you wanted, so you devised a plan, you would stay for a few days, maybe a week and then you’d slip away and find your mother. It wasn’t at all fool-proof but it was a start.

On the walk to the zeta tube, Bruce had told you that this was your home and you wouldn’t feel like a prisoner, but there were still rules.

When the flash of teleportation faded from your vision you were faced with the intricate, oddly welcoming Bat Cave. In your opinion it was stunning, but you didn’t get much time to fully explore it or take it in as Bruce led you towards computers and the people standing amongst them.

Three boys were standing with an older man and a young woman, once you and Bruce reached them you decided to let someone else speak first.

“Y/N these are my children,” Bruce began, “well some of them. Dick, Tim, Cassandra, and Damian. And this,” he gestured to the older man, “is Alfred. He’s one of the reasons things continue to run around here. You’ll meet the other later.” He told you smiling to himself at an inside joke.

“This is Y/N Isley. She’ll be staying with us.” Bruce said and you waited for more but it never came.

Dick was the first to move forward, “Nice to meet you Y/N,” he stared, holding out his hand. You shook it. “What Bruce failed to mention was that I am also the oldest and his favorite,” He said with a smile before his phone chimed. He removed it from his pocket to check.

“I am also late for a date, but welcome and I’ll see you around,” Dick told you with a wink before heading towards a staircase and disappearing.

“While he might be the oldest, I’m the brains of this operation,” Tim said before also shaking your hand.

“You’re still as delusional as ever Drake,” Damian said, and once you looked to him he was the only thing that holds your attention as the two of them began to bicker.

He looked like Bruce, but not really. His eyes were a different shade of blue, almost green…almost. As you continued to stare, Cassandra walked up to you.

“I’m Cass,” she said, her voice was soft and sweet as she bowed her head ever so slightly instead of shaking your hand.

“Hi,” you replied, realizing it was the first thing you had said since coming into the cave.

“Let’s get cookies,” she said to you and linked her arm with your own before bringing you up the same stairs Dick went up. Alfred followed closely behind and Bruce sought to stop his sons from arguing.

———

You liked Cass. She was a woman of few words but they got her point across every time. Afterward, she had given you a quick tour of the main living areas before she had to leave for patrol.

When she left you decided to wander a bit more on your own. The manor was even more extraordinary than you could have imagined. You found yourself gravitating towards the library.

While you were in your cryo-chamber your mother had taken to reading to you. She was never sure if you could hear or not but you remember. It was always peaceful when she read to you.

You felt a pang in your heart as you stepped inside and began running your hands along the spines of the books. You stopped on one with a green cover when the door to the library opened and closed.

Your eyes met Damian’s when you turned to him. His face was tight and uninviting as he watched you continue to read the spines.

After a few more moments he finally spoke.

“You don’t belong here,” he said, his voice was emotionless and uninviting. You sighed and finally turned to him, crossing your arms.

Damian was only a few feet from the door but was slowly inching closer to you.

“I don’t belong anywhere,” You said to him, and his features flickered briefly, he clearly wasn’t expecting that answer.

“So why not try to leave?” Damian asked, he finally stopped an arm's length away.

“I haven’t got anywhere to go. Not yet anyway,” You told him, tugging at a red curl and wrapping it around your finger.

“Well, your mother was a criminal with connections. So the faster you find one, the faster you leave.” He said, crossing his arms.

It was hard not to look at Damian’s arms in the fitted black t-shirt. He saw your gaze shift for a second and gave the faintest of smirks.

“This house is a fortress. I step a toe off the property and your father would drag me back,” You released your curl and turned back to the books on the shelf.

“Tt, if you were half the mastermind your mother was you could, and will, be out by morning,” He said before turning on his heel and leaving.

[animaniachan]

A3! Act 3 Episode 9 Summary

Please read through this note before you start reading the summary!

whhhhew, finally finished episode 9 and THE EMOTIONS ARE ROLLING-😭😭

but ofc being the maniac that i am ive decided to provide a full summary of episode 9 for those who are interested!

Be warned that this is MAJOR STORY SPOILERS so i would recommend you be at least finished act 2 and all the events leading up to it before you read this. Otherwise you’ll probably have a hard time understanding the full context of things.

The last note I want to make is that this won’t be a detail-for-detail summary! I still want to keep things decently vague so people can still have the joy of experiencing the story for themselves while still providing adequate information to clear up any confusions and speculations. This summary will basically be a rough outline of the story that highlights some of the major events that went on. This summary will follow the order of how the episode played out, all the events will be listed in order.

Ofc, if anybody has any specific questions regarding the story that they want clarified or just simply want to discuss episode 9: always feel free to shoot in an ask or dm me! I’m always happy to provide with information and/or rant about these precious boys!

Well, without further ado, here y’all go~~

WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST AND MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD~

the new groups of people now are the following:

High schoolers- Yuki/Muku/Azami/Kumon

Yosei University- Juza/Tsuzuru/Tenma/Taichi

Amabi- Kazunari/Banri

Adult group is still adult group~~

Apparently Tenma’s parents decided it would be a good idea to let him attend university so it was decided on the spot that he would be going through exams. He had to get Chikage to tutor to barely scrape by passing bc of how busy he was. Taichi on the other hand....Tsumugi the GOAT-

Omi now works as a professional photographer through a job his friend introduced him to.

Masumi decided to go to Fuyou University which is Tasuku and Tsumugi’s old university to study. Misumi’s brother, Madoka, also studies there. Although Madoka does not look like it, he’s actually 19... I know...

Azami decided to attend the same high school as Kumon which warms my heart honestly bc it just showed how good of friends they’ve become <3~~ Here’s his new uniform look <333

not sure how i feel about the red hoodie but eh, boy can pull it off so it doesn’t matter aha~

Guy is apparently opening up a new Zahra style bar with the help of the winter troupe members such as Homare who introduced him to an interior design company (same company that installed that brick wall in his room orz). Hisoka will also be helping out in Guy’s bar.

The entirety of Reni’s backstory (5 episodes in total) which describe his initial meeting with Yukio during high school to how they built Mankai together was described through the format of portraits (the autumn troupe signature). HIs backstories are basically just narrations of Act 3 1/2 if any of you read that when it was first posted.

Reni’s real name is apparently “Kamikizaka Reiji” and “Reni” is a nickname that Yukio gave him in high school bc Yukio thought that his real name was too hard to write out in kanji and pronounce lolol.

Reni keeps a journal which documents his time with Yukio (basically Act 3 1/2) in a safe in his office.

Kasumi’s nickname back in the day was apparently “Juriko”: stems from “Juliette” and “ko” which is a way to feminize someone’s name in Japanese. This was because he was the crossdresser that had to play Juliette in the OG spring troupe RomiJuri- heh.

 Shifuto is now the new “top” in GOD Troupe after Tasuku and Haruto who got demoted.

FRIEND ANGST BETWEEN AZAMI AND SHIFUTO HNGHHH and that’s all I’m willing to say oop-

GOD Troupe challenged Mankai to an act-off once again and this time appointed Tsumugi as the lead and Tasuku to be in the play and the theme as “devil” and thus...Devil Tsumugi was born.

The company was initially debating on whether to accept the challenge or not but Tsumugi and Taichi desperately wanted to show Reni who they have become as an actor and prove him wrong on all the things he’s said to them. Basically, everyone who was casted for this play had their own reasons on why they wanted to act.

Misumi’s dad’s name is revealed to be “Kusumi” which literally means nine-points/sides and I- top 10 betrayals? I was certain that his name will have something to do with a square but apparently not-

Although it was briefly revealed during Sky Pirates, Misumi’s dad is the official script writer for GOD Troupe. However, it is shown here that he has absolutely no talent in writing so what he does is get Madoka to act as his ghostwriter and write for him.

Hence this birthed Madoka’s complex of wanting to write in his own free will and not under the control of his father. Since everything he writes gets “edited” by his father but everything his father edited gets rejected by Reni and so Madoka has to fix it himself anyways.

Returning to backstory, Reni revealed that Yukio legit went to visit Misumi’s grandpa (Hakkaku) as a senior high school student to ask him for a script. As a note, Hakkaku was already a very famous script writer at that time and age wise he is about what both their dads would be. Ofc he was refused many times but Yukio wouldn’t give up and would not stop pestering Hakkaku until he finally caved in.

Honestly I loved the autumn and winter troupe dynamic throughout this entire episode- just the way they supported Taichi and Tsumugi is just-

Kumon had to act as the mediator between Azami and Shifuto to try and recover their friendship and the entire process was hilarious.

Yukio and Reni were actually Yuzo and Kasumi’s high school seniors at Nanakusa High. Yuzo was the “ghost member” that was only member of drama club in-name only that was mentioned earlier.

NAMIKAWA DAISUKE’S VOICE IN KASUMI- *deaded counter x1* as a tiny side note: i realized half way through that Tezuka (Reni), Sanada (Yuzo), and Ootori (Kasumi) were in the same high school together bc of their seiyuus. This is for my TeniPuri fans out there haha~~

During their last performance in high school, Yukio and Reni got boycotted by the other junior members right before their play. Reni ended up forcing a reluctant Yukio to go at speak act out the monologue Hakkaku provided for them and everybody ended up being overwhelmed by Yukio’s performance.

This is what ended up making Reni dedicate his post high school life creating Mankai with Yukio, he wants to see Yukio act on stage again. He describes Yukio’s acting as “someone who was chosen by God” and even went as far as using his own money his parents gave him when they kicked him out (strict family bs) to build the initial theatre while they both worked part-time. Reni was the one who designed the entire theatre according to Yukio’s wishes to “make it long lasting”. However, Yukio revealed to him that he has no desire to stand on stage again and instead wants to make others “full bloom”, this invoked a sense of betrayal in Reni.

Reni was also the one who recruited Syu, his childhood friend, into the theatre. From there on, Yuzo and Kasumi also joined. Kasumi was revealed to also be garbage at acting at first but Yukio appointed him as lead for their first play nonetheless.

There is apparently some outside force wanting to ruin Mankai as they even went as far as stealing a part of Tsuzuru’s script and provided it to Misumi’s dad who ended up plagiarizing. It is later revealed that Reni had nothing to do with this so it is currently unknown who the main perpetrator is.

 In order to get a better grasp on his devil character, Tsumugi opted to spend one day with each of the other winter troupe members (Homare, Hisoka, and Azuma) individually. This is to get more insight from people who had lived such different lives and accumulated such different experiences. Honestly, one of the most heartwarming moments ever.

MY ANGST MAN IS HERE WITH HIS FIRST APPEARANCE!!! SAKURAI TAKAHIRO’S VOICE OMGGGGG *deaded counter x2*

He met Tsumugi in front of the GOD Theatre and asked him to “save” Reni.

On the day of the performance, Tsumugi and Taichi decided to walk to the theatre. They met Banri and Juza along the way who were planning to do a street act to release some energy. On their way, they ended up being surrounded by numerous punks who were presumably sent by the same outside force who stole Tsuzuru’s script.

The night before the actual performance, the plagiarism was revealed to both sides and both sides were just as much caught off guard by this. Reni, however, refused to change the direction of the play since it was too risky as the performance is the next day. However, Shifuto refused to act out something that is plagiarized since he promised Azami that they would have a “fair fight like men”.

And so, he managed to convince Haruto to use Madoka’s script that he has written for the first time according to free will and changed the entire play in one night. With the help of Haruto’s authority, they managed to do it in time. (I’ve failed to mention this until now but these three has been building up chemistry all through out this episode and im so down for them tbh)

Banri told Juza to take Tsumugi and Taichi and go ahead while he stays behind to try and buy some time alone against all the men. Just when Banri was in a tight spot due to power in number...

BAM THIS OLD MAN COMES IN AND SAVES THE DAY!! by now y’all already know... YASUMOTO HIROKI’S VOICE HAAAAAAAAAH *deaded counter x3*

After Banri revealed to Zen that he was autumn troupe leader of Mankai, Zen gave him a card of his restaurant, “Gentiana” and promised to treat them to a meal there afterwards.

Costume reveal for GOD Troupe. Honestly, I love the chemistry that was built throughout this episode between Shifuto, Haruto, and Madoka. Haruto really did give out redeeming qualities and i don’t dislike him as much as before aha (even tho he is still a snob) and I acknowledge him as a character. Madoka’s script consisted of two characters and basically talks about two estranged brothers (his way of writing down his guilt for towards Misumi)

Costume reveal for Mankai as many of you probably have seen already- devil tsumugi and sexy tasuku is just-

 In terms of actual in-game plays, this was the second play that I’ve actually cried at, the first being Clockwork. Super emotional and well-written play and certainly it draws a lot of parallels to Sympathy for the Angel.

SAME RENI...JUST-SAME. TT

After the performances...i won’t reveal who won and by how much but Reni did officially apologize for all his past actions as he was reminded of his passion for acting through this play. Izumi thought this too but it is hard to 100% forgive him bc of the pain he’s brought on all the members.

He revealed why he quit Mankai, it was bc he and Yukio had become so divided that if he had stayed, the entire balance of Mankai would fall to ruins. He actually came to the conclusion to leave after being trapped in the time loop with Yukio for about three days aha~

Reni decided to create GOD Troupe bc he wanted them to win the Fleur Awards first and crush Mankai, that way, he may have the chance one day to accepted a lost Yukio in his troupe as an actor and not a director (obsessed much my dude??)

The last part of the episode is Reni wanting to talk to Izumi about the Ikaruga family and being invited to Mankai Dorms as a result. There he reminisced the days with the OGs before we are left with a cliffhanger-

Even though he only talked for two lines but ONO DAISUUUUKE~~~ *deaded counter x4*

The very last scenes showcased how the OGs are starting to come back together as they will be getting involved with the new Mankai members.

THIS OLD MAN LEGIT WENT AND HELPED THEM PICK CABBAGE I-

LOOK AT THIS EXPRESSION HE IS SO PRECIOUS-

~❀❀❀~

that concludes the rough summary of episode 9! i...this was an ordeal to get through aha and sorry for it ended up being such a long post...It was inevitable bc this episode consisted of 39 chapters. 

Honestly im so dead by the end of this that i didnt have the heart to check for any grammar mistakes so there’re probably quite a few that i ask you kindly to just ignore~ 🥺🥺

now, time to dig a hole and cry until episode 10 comes out...☠️😇😭

[j-whirl44]

A Binding Ache Remains Within

Hey hi what’s up you ever love a key relationship and dynamic between two characters that is actually so intricate and beautiful but the main medium of the franchise they’re in never really takes time to explore it????

Or is it just me?

Anyways I wrote this Poe & Leia fic because I love them both so much and their mother & son bond will always be the death of me. It’s sort of in a “Missing Scene” format in three chunks from TFA, TLJ, and TROS.

This in general was just very cathartic for me to write and it’s a dynamic Ive wanted to write about for a while I just didn’t know how lmao.

Enjoy!!

Title From: I’ll Be Your Skin by Sara Kendall

Read it on Ao3 (x)

1: D’Qar Resistance Base

Poe woke up with a splitting headache for the second day in a row. He squeezed his eyes shut just as quickly as he opened them, the harsh light of fluorescents above mixed with the buzz on machines by his side overstimulated him.

He tried again, this time using his arm that wasn’t bound to wires and needles to shield his face as he slowly opened his eyes. He let out a long breath as he groaned and tried to get up from the stiff and cold medical cot.

He’d been confined to the med bay since he came back to D’Qar two days ago. He lumbered in limping and filthy and about to pass out. People watched him as if they’ve seen a ghost and Poe suspected they might have thought they were. It’d been a week and a half since he was taken by the First Order and since losing Beebee-Ate he had no way to securling send a signal from Jakku letting them know he was alive.

Though he wished he wasn’t.

He tried to talk to Leia immediately, but the General shook her head and sent him to get patched up with a look in her eye that told Poe now was not the time to argue.

A nurse wailed next to him as he tried to get to his feet. He looked at her with a tinge of annoyance.

“I need to talk to the General. I’ve been tied up here for two days now. I’m fine,” he said trying his hardest to drown out the pounding between his eyes. He could tell the nurse saw right through him, but nevertheless most people on this ship are aware how Poe can be when he sets his mind to something. She walked up to him carefully removed the various mechanisms in him.

Poe nodded his thanks and turned to rush out of the small room before the nurse wailed at him again. She handed him some sort of pill and a cup of water. Poe looked hesitant at it. The nurse pointed at his head. Poe blushed and took it, instantly he felt some of the weight in his head decompress. He looked back at her with a grateful look as he went to go find Leia.

“Poe? What are you doing here,” Leia asked as he stepped into the briefing room where she and a few other officers were going over their daily checklist.

“Doc gave me the all clear, did my droid come back? What’s happening,” he asked. The room was still and silent, save a few beeps from monitors. Poe didn’t like it.

“I’m afraid there’s been no sign of Beebee-Ate since he was sent off with you to Jakku. We have reason to believe the First Order has him-”

“No,” Poe interrupted, other officers around him went stiff at the intensity he just cut of the General, but Leia didn’t flinch, “No he escaped when…” Poe trailed off. His head pulsed as he tried to remember everything that happened since being captured and tortured. His eyes widened, “Beebee-Ate! I-I told the First Order he had the map to Luke. They know.”

He said the last two words more to himself than the room. His hands clumped into fists. His shoulders drop. Gasps are heard around the room as he feels their eyes burn onto him. Leia cleared her throat, which snapped everyone’s attention back to her.

“Give us the room please,” she said. The room made its way out the door. The two of them stood across from each other in silence.

Poe’s mouth was dry, he couldn’t look in Leia’s direction. “Sit, Commander,” she said as she walked and took a seat at one of the tables near the window. He didn’t move, his body bristled with fear and shame. “Poe,” Leia whispered. The sound of his name snapped him back to the present just enough to take her invitation. He sat stiff and focused on his hands.

“What happened. We heard about the attack on this village…”

‘The village,’ Poe thought. They attacked so fast and so strong against unsuspecting people. He sees flashes of it now, the screams, the sounds of blasters, the heat of his exploded x-wing on his back as he watched Kylo Ren kill Lor San Tekka.

Then he remembers being on the ship. How dark and cold it was. Being strapped into the chair, IT-O droid next to his face; Kylo Ren himself in front of him. Remembers him invading Poe’s mind. Breaking through whatever defenses Poe tried to put up to keep him from seeing where the map was. More importantly who had it.

But he got it anyway, after what felt like hours of agony Poe gave in showing the scene right there for Kylo. Leaving his droid out in the open.

He failed the mission. He failed the Resistance. He failed…

“Poe,” Leia said again, which again brought the pilot out of his own head. She looked at him with the same kind eyes she always did. She reached out and grabbed his forearm and squeezed it. Poe felt himself relax a bit. “It’s not your fault,” Leia said. He bit back a sarcastic laugh; his face twisted around as it tried to stay neutral. Leia furrowed her brow, “There was no way you could’ve known about the First Orders ambush because we didn’t even know about it.”

“I should’ve saw the signs,” he counted. Leia scoffed.

“What signs, Commander? There were no signs. We both were after the same thing. We thought we got to it first. We clearly didn’t-”

“Maybe they were tracking my X-Wing somehow. Has anyone ran diagnostics yet? Maybe I-” Poe stopped when Leia smacked him behind the head. He yelped as he ran a hand to rub the spot.

“In case you forgot in that thick skull of yours, Commander Dameron, you’re part of a crew. A whole resistance. It’s not just you that makes mistakes. This wasn’t your fault,” she said.

There she went again, those eyes now stared at him with a mixture of anger along with the kindness. Like any mother would look at her son when they were being difficult.

Poe sunk in his chair. She was right; it wasn’t his fault. In the beginning maybe, but everything that came after…

“But now I really have led them straight to it, General, Kylo Ren-he…” he didn’t know how to continue. He knew how much it hurt Leia to talk about he son. Her real one.

“What happened. Please, tell me,” she urged.

Poe cleared his throat, “He...forced his way into my mind. He saw my memories,” his fists on the table clenched tighter, “old and new.”

Leia looked away, face as stoic as ever, but Poe could see through the cracks.

“General I’m sorry. He was too powerful. I was too weak, he saw me store the part of the map on to Beebee-Ate. He knows,” he hesitated, “he knows where it is.”

Silence again fell between them as they both looked down at the floor.

Poe felt defeated. He felt like shit; lower than shit even. He remembered what he was thinking while he was still tied up after the interrogation, he thought all there was left to do was die. He failed the mission and he failed hard. He was ready and willing to accept whatever fate the gods had in store for him.

His eyes started to sting as he blinked back tears. He jumped when Leia’s hand grabbed his own.

“Poe, that still isn’t your fault. You were being tortured,” Leia said, the last word thick in the air, “you didn’t have a choice in the matter. What’s important now is you’re back here and you can help us fight like you always have.”

Poe was always so in awe of her. He’s known this woman almost all his life. Known what she’s gone through, whether it be first hand experience or through the little stories he was told by his father. He’s seen her still be so vulnerable yet strong all these years. It inspired Poe to just be a better person.

“I failed everyone, I failed you, General,” he said ashamed.

“You haven’t failed yet. Luke still hasn’t been found by anyone yet. We can still do this,” she said as she squeezed his hand, “together.”

Poe closed his eyes. A few tears finally fell as he nodded.

He thought of his parents and what they say to him right now.

And then he thought it’d probably be everything the General just did.

2: Resistance Escape Pod; Above Crait

“A mutiny, Poe? Really?” she said as she looked down at the unconscious pilot in front of her. He looked peaceful and it was one of the times he wasn’t actively being a pain in the ass. She smiled a little as she remembered the dumbstruck look on his face right before she stunned him, “You got your love of flying from your mother but your impulse from your father,” she said with a slight chuckle.

It had only been a few hours since Leia had woken up after being spaced. She heard quick news about what Poe was doing and all she could do after hearing about it was roll her eyes and head towards the bridge to do all but drag that man out by the ear.

Leia knew there was not a lot of men out there like Poe. His heart was big, although sometimes his ego was bigger. He would sacrifice himself before letting anyone fall in his place even though losing him would be a major blow to the Resistance. Not only for morale, but there isn’t anyone that can fly a ship like him; except maybe his mother.

Leia remembered when she died. Hearing word from Han who heard from Kes. Her heart ached; knowing they had a young son. She arranged a trip to Yavin 4 where Poe and Ben zoomed around the backyard together, blissfully unaware of the heaviness in the visit.

----

The adults sat under the little piece of the Great Tree planted there six years prior. They laughed as they recounted stories of the war. The sticky situations Han and Kes would get into when left unsupervised. They also mused about Shara and her pilot skills.

“I just hope he’s more like her than me,” Kes said. The three watched as Poe and Ben played in the cockpit of Shara’s old RZ-I. Leia smiled as Poe explained the inner workers of the A-Wing as Ben watched with wide eyes.

“Looks like he’s on his way to that already,” Luke said, “Shara was the best of them, Poe will be too. It’s in his blood.”

Kes smiled as he raised his cup of ale towards the sky, “I just hope he won’t have to fight like we did. Sacrifice as much as we did,” he said solemnly.

Leia looked again at the two boys, “yeah, me either,” she said.

Back in the present, Leia’s teeth chewed at the inside of her cheek at the memory. They were all still so hopeful back then; wary but hopeful. They wanted to believe darkness was defeated on Endor. 

----

But it wasn’t. The two boys that played in the cockpit of that fighter ship were now on opposite ends of an ever growing battle that got more dire by the day.

That was the last time Leia or Han ever saw Kes and Poe, but she always kept tabs on them. It wasn’t very hard, Poe’s reputation and familial lineage preceded him at any military level. All Leia had to do was pull up his reports. When the time came and the First Order was too big to be ignored as a legitimate threat she knew she had to ask Poe to help lead the Resistance. He had the same spark as his mother. 

“Passion is something we desperately need these days,” she had told him. And Poe being Poe he didn’t hesitate when asked.

He had grown so much into his father’s look, Leia almost thought it was him sometimes when she saw him out of the corner of her eye.

She reached down and touched his cheek with the same hand that had slapped him days before after that stupid dreadnaught mission that got him demoted and good fighters killed. She was angry with him but a part of her heart also ached for him. She saw the look in his eyes, how elated he was they sank the ship but how conflicted he was in himself for doing it in a way that cost so many lives.

And much like everything these last few weeks there wasn’t any time to dwell on it. Everything moved so fast and if you tried to get bearings on anything you’d be too consumed by grief and war and you’d crumble.

“The life of a soldier,” she thought. It was cruel. It was unfair. Leia wanted nothing more than to clear Poe of his conflicted feelings. Like any mother would do when she saw a son struggling.

But in this moment she was still his superior and she had a whole Resistance to rebuild. She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

“This is for your own good, idiot.”

3: Ajan Kloss

Her face was covered and Poe was at least a little thankful for that. If he couldn’t see the General’s lifeless face maybe he could believe she wasn’t really dead. She wasn’t really gone.

He started at the sheet in front of him, he willed it to move. He wanted a sign this wasn’t really happening. Begged for it.

Nothing. Utter stillness.

Poe clasped his hands together and rested his forehead as he let out a bitter laugh.

Of course, death happened around him all the time. He even caused some of it. He’s had plenty of ghosts that followed him around. That came to him at night as he tried to sleep, but none dare compared to the pain in his heart right now.

Leia trusted him in all things, even when he didn’t deserve it. The two of them worked side by side to build the fight against the First Order. The late nights, the early mornings. The near misses and the celebrations. It was all done at each other’s side.

Poe thought back to when his mother died. His dad was stone faced through all the formal military funeral proceedings, but the night after the service Poe walked by his dad’s office and heard him crying, it made Poe’s heart break. He wished he remembered more of his mother outside the war stories and medals.

He made a note in his mind to make sure Leia’s story wasn’t so serious. She’d be remembered as a great war hero of course, but also as a headstrong woman who in any situation was never afraid to speak her mind and knock people down when they needed it. Poe smiled; he needed it a lot it seemed.

His throat tightened as he now remembers his new acting position.

“General. You named me general,” he said. General Poe Dameron. He was excited at the new title, he just wished it was under much better circumstances.

He reached out involuntarily reached out and before he could register what he was doing he was holding her hand. It was cold and weak and Poe didn’t like the feeling. The reminder. He gave it a tight squeeze before letting go. He gently placed her arm back by her side and covered her again. “I won’t let you down, Leia,” he said.

But what was he to do now? He failed to get the support her needed. They barely made it out of Kijimi and Kef Bir alive and now this blow to their already dwindled forces. It was hard to find hope in any of this.

“But hope is what you were all about huh,” he said, “was.”

He wondered truly how long anyone in this war would have survived if it wasn’t for Leia and her abundance of hope. After all she’d been through, she still believed there was good in even the most wicked of people. Her dying moments, Poe understood, made that note abundantly clear.

There’s so much Poe still wanted to learn from her, but now that was all gone. He just felt lost and undeserving of the tasks that now fall onto him. He needed his friends. He needed a sign.

He really needed Leia.

Lando came in soon after and tried to squash Poe’s worries, but honestly nothing stuck to his brain. He felt himself shutting down, the grief, he thought, may finally get to him.

He closed his eyes, still sat by her side. He needed a minute before he swallowed his sadness down and stood up.

He stood up, suddenly as determined as ever. He wasn’t going to let Leia die in vain. He walked up to her covered body and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Shoulders tight and fists clenched, he walked out towards the fight.

[k1ngtok1]

This is my story, made into Leo’s:

This story is based on what I went through becoming a T1D. I was diagnosed sometime between June 22 and 23, 2018. I didn’t have people to help me until it was very late in the day, when my doctor father decided that enimas and constipation medicine were not helping. During the day, the only people that took notice of me were my stepmom, who cooked and gave me water when I asked, and my sister, who only helped because you can’t play Minecraft with someone dying of dehydration in the background. In the story, Piper is taking the place of my mom once they get to the infirmary, and Jason is my dad the whole story. (I didn’t include Calypso for some reason).The stuffed animals are all real (franks present isn’t). They came from my grandparents, sister, moms ex boyfriend, and my 4th grade teacher. The teddy bear was my dads. Friends would visit, my grandpas girlfriend would wheel me around the hospital. A friend, not a close one, watched me cry while getting a shot. The whole experience is jumbled and blurry, everything is out of order. We go to the meeting then home where I stay until the next day, where I feel pressured enough by my diabetic step-grandpa to give my own shot, my friends come over and swim.The End. I didn’t get as much support as Leo did in this, I’m always the one comforting and not getting comforted. I felt a little alone and abandoned, still do. I rediscovered this series in the middle of the school year, and instantly I felt a connection to Leo. He looks like me if he was a girl and had strait hair. I have the same ADHD, the same urge to create, to help others, and now, we both have a bad past, and it stays with us in some way. His flame and my condition. He is the only one that I know that has suffered like I have. I buried myself in stories about this person like me, and I felt like there was someone who understood me. Someone pushed away by others. Who is happy on the outside but not that much inside. Someone who even in a group of accepting friends, feels like they are the outsider, like they aren’t good enough. I found myself in Leo (plus my best friend is a Leo clone with glasses). I wanted to tell my story, so I did it using the story character that was in the same boat as me. I wanted to explain what it really feels like to be burdened, by both yours and other’s problems. So here’s my story, molded into Leo’s.

When Leo woke up, he knew something was seriously wrong with him. His throte was dry as a bone. His stomach felt like Godzilla and the kraken were having a wrestling match. He tried to move but found he didn’t have the energy to. He curled into a little ball and let out a pained moan. 

 “Buford” he called out in a weak voice. The table immediately scuttled over to see what was wrong with his friend.

 “Please, bring me water, and Pipes” he choked out, before promptly dozing off.  

Buford obediently hurried along the path to camp. He was worried Leo had worked himself too hard. He found Piper sitting with Jason, having lunch. If Leo had slept this long, there must have been something wrong with him, as he was always anxious to work on his projects. Buford head butted (or table butted) Piper. 

 “What? Oh hey Buford! What’s wrong?”

 Buford thought of a way to communicate on the way here, he dug one of his legs into the wet dirt.

 “What are you doing?” Piper asked. 

 Buford continued to drag his legs through the dirt. 

 “I think he’s trying to tell us something. Look!” Exclaimed Jason. 

 The table had written a message saying ‘bring water, Leo needs you’ in the soft earth. 

 Piper’s eyes immediately shot open with worry. Before anyone could say anything, she grabbed her magic glass from the table and sprinted towards the woods. Buford and Jason ran to catch up to her. 

 Upon arrival, they heard groaning noises. It was like someone was in pain. 

“Leo” muttered Piper, before running inside.

 Leo was curled into a little ball. Now an important thing to know is that when someone goes through what Leo is, they tend to get delirious. They may imagine scenes from a book they have read, with them in it or as the main character. Leo had just read ‘heir apparent’ and was (still in pain mind you) imagining how he was crowned king. In his mind all he had to do was sit on the throne, and the pain would go away. He was utterly confused when it didn’t.

 Meanwhile Piper was shaking Leo. He finally snapped out of his daze (if only a little bit).

 “I’m hallucinating” said Leo “go get Will and the others please.” 

 It pained her to she her little brother like this. She tore herself from the bed, leaving Leo the glass of water, which he gladly took a sip of. Jason was sitting next to him on the bed, helping him drink as he was too weak to do it on his own. 

 “I’ll be right back” said Piper, “take care of Leo”

 Leo was moaning and muttering incoherent nonsense. This frightened Jason, he had never seen Leo as anything other that calm and thinking strait. He sat on the bed next to Leo, casually petting his hair as Leo cuddled up to him. Leo did not look content, though. He looked as though he was going to throw up. Piper chose that moment to bust through the door, Will, Hazel, Frank, Percy, Annabeth and Nico trailing behind. 

 “What’s going on?” Demanded Will rushing to Leo’s side.

 “I don’t know.” Replied Jason “Buford guided us to him, he was like this when we got here. He said he was hallucinating before he fell asleep.” 

 Will took Leo’s hand. His eyes widened almost comically. “We need to get him to the infirmary, NOW! He’s going into kinoacidosis, his blood sugar is through the roof! He might be T1D!” 

 Nobody knew what the hades Will was talking about except for Nico. His face paled as Frank scooped up Leo and everyone raced through the door. He had enough experience in the infirmary, and had a medical genius as a boyfriend, of course he knew what T1D was! But he didn’t tell anyone as they were already worried enough. 

 After racing through camp with campers gathering around the infirmary, Leo had woken up. However, he was in an extreme delirious state. 

 “We need a gurney STAT!” Yelled Will. “Someone get me an IV and insulin!” 

 All of a sudden, while still on the gurney, Leo bucked his hips upward and screamed “WATER” at the top of his lungs. This happened many times before he was wheeled to the intensive care section and fully woke up. 

 The 7 were worried as the doctors fussed around Leo, he thinks they gave him shots and an IV, but he couldn’t be sure as is brain was picking and choosing what moments to process. He didn’t notice the tiny flames in this hair that needed to be put out.

 Leo fell asleep and woke up many times. Each time a nurse would ask him the year, his birthday, and who was president. Leo answered the questions, and as he was about to go into a rant on how much he despises Trump, the nurse left. He passed out for good after repeating this many times. 

 When Leo came too, he found himself in a closed off section of the infirmary. All of his friends plus his siblings were standing against the wall at the foot of the bed. Leo could bearly move. 

 “Where am I?” He managed to croak out. 

 Piper looked up from where she was staring at the floor. “Oh gods Leo! You scared us all to death! You’re in the infirmary, you went into diabetic kino asidosis, you’re lucky to be alive. 30 more minutes and you would have died!” Piper sobbed against his chest.

 “Wait a minute!” Leo said as loud as he could, which wasn’t very loud, “can someone explain what is happening to me?” 

 Will decided that was a good moment to walk in “You’re awake! I’m assuming you want to know what’s going on?” 

 Leo nodded his head. 

 “You went into diabetic kino asidosis, which means that your body did not have enough insulin, causing ketones to form. Ketones destroy fat as fuel, instead of using regular sugar.” 

 “Okay, but why don’t I have any insulin in my body?” Questioned Leo. 

 “Have you been having stomach pains? Has it been hard to eat sugary foods?”  

Leo thought back to during the past 2 months. “yes” he replied. 

 “Your blood sugar has been high for over these two months, maybe even longer. The young adult body is very strong, but even it gives out at some point. Your pancreas some time around 2 months ago was attacked by other cells in your body that saw it as a threat. I don’t mean to be so blunt but” he took a deep breath. “you are a juvenile diebetic now, otherwise known as a type one diabetic. This is the type where it is permanent, so unless new technology or cures come out, or you happen to strike a deal with a god, you will have to use an insulin pump for the rest of your life.” He finished. 

 Leo didn’t really take it all in. Only later did he really understand what all this really ment. His friends and siblings were all in tears. They all came over and gently gave home a group hug, as if he were made of glass.

 ~Line break ~  

After 3 days in the infirmary. They let him eat for the first time. 

 “Okay, your meal had 53 carbs in it, your correction factor is 1/15. How many units do you take if your blood sugar is also 157?” 

Asked Will with his clip board out. Only Piper and Jason were in the room, with Leo of course. 

 “‘Bout 5 units” said Leo with his mouth full of food. 

 “Good, I’m going to go get the syringe now,” Leo almost choked on his food. 

“Wait what?!” Leo started freaking out. “No one said anything about needles!” 

Piper and Jason were doing their best to console the panicked Latino, who was doing his best to keep from crying. Leo had a huge fear of needles from some bad experiences while he was on the run. He was starting to panic until Piper soothed him with her charmspeak. Will walked in with a syringe, vial and alcohol wipe. 

 “Everything will be fine Leo” said Piper, as Will began to prep the syringe with insulin. 

 “Hey Piper?” Leo started. 

 “Yes?” She replied. 

 “Can I like, hold your side and hug you” Leo asked, close to tears. 

 “Of course.” She replied, “you don’t have to ask.” 

Leo snuggled into Piper’s side. Will lifted up Leo’s sleeve and wiped his upper arm with alcohol. He was put off by the scars on his arm, but he did not want to ask incase it panicked the Fire user further. He injected the needle with a small wimpier and sob from Leo. 

 “It’s okay Leo, it’s over.” Consoled Piper. Leo backed up a little and snuggled into the blanket that Annabeth and Percy got him. He held the stuffed owl that he received from Harley. Around him were others, such as the the fluffy brown dog holding a smaller dog from Hazel, the spherical squishy dog from Piper and Jason. Frank gave him his thoughts and prayers, at which Leo laughed and Hazel smacked the shapeshifters arm. And lastly, the small teddy bear, so worn you would never be able to guess it used to be fluffy. Nyssa used to be the only one who knew about it. It was the only thing that he managed to escape the fire with. It used to be his mother’s and she gave it to him. He asked Nyssa to bring it to him, and was surprised his friends didn’t judge him when he told them the story. 

 Leo promptly fell asleep. While in the hospital, he took frequent naps. He once woke up and described what he did the previous day, to find out that it happened 20 minutes ago! To be fair, he was still the tiniest but delusional still, his mind still slightly addled. 

 Piper sat down in one of the chairs next to the bed, exhausted. She has yet to leave Leo’s side. She has been sleeping in the bed with him, resulting in being woken up for a nurse to draw blood or test his blood sugar. Jason would come and go, letting the two honorary siblings be alone. She rested her head on the bed, holding Leo’s hand. A few minutes of sleep wouldn’t hurt , right? 

 ~Line break ~

 It was Leo’s last day in the infirmary, well, day in the hospital part of the infirmary. He still needed to go to a meeting with a nurse to be taught more about his condition and how to handle it. Leo sat in his original clothes, returned by the nurses. His room was bare except for a wagon full of his stuff, to be hauled to his cot in bunker 9. Piper took the wagon to drop it off, as he and the rest of his friends accompanied him to the big house for his meeting. 

Leo knew most of this stuff, like how to use his insulin pen and how to dispose of needles. He mostly fiddled around with a few rubber bands and metal scraps from his tool belt. This meeting was mostly for his ‘family’, so they could understand what they were getting in to. On the bright side, he got a stuffed lion with pads where he could practice giving injections!

 After the meeting, he spent the day in the more populous areas of CHB. He wanted to be somewhere not all cramped after being in his room for a week, save for a few short walks. During lunch and dinner, and before bed, he had Nyssa give him his shots in the arm after he checked his sugar and ate. 

 He had a few times where he went low. It was the worst. He was shaken and could hardly walk, as his legs felt like cooked noodles. He couldn’t build when he shook! Luckily, he didn’t die, so it’s all good.

 The next day, he wanted to gain control over his disease. He decided he would finally give himself his own shot. After assuring the rest of the gang, who were very apprehensive about giving Leo Valdez any sort of sharp object, Leo managed to slowly sink the short needle into his leg and push the end. His friends were all very proud. They gave him a group hug. For a moment, Leo forgot that anything was wrong, he forgot about his condition, his newfound problem. All that mattered is that if he could find a way to come back from the dead, he could manage to survive another disorder.

[exmachina2014]

What do you think of the Fantastic Beasts ladies (Leta, Queenie, Tina, and Vinda) and what are your favorite headcanons for each of them? I love them so much and that's one of the reasons why I adore your blog so much, when most of the Fandom is strangely obsessed with a character we've never even met

I adore them!!! It’s no secret that Leta is my #1 fave *motions at my blog and its layout* but I have lots of love for Queenie too and I’m really fascinated by Vinda. Tina, I like too but I’m not a fan of how fandom acts as if she and Newt only come in a 2-in-1 package and how there’s barely a focus on Tina Goldstein, headstrong auror who got degraded for helping an abused young man despite knowing she put the Statute at risk, but almost excusively on Tina Goldstein, love interest and future wife of Newt Scamander. Because Tina on her is so amazing, she manages to pull herself up after said demotion which is implied to have took quite the toll on her; she almost singlehandedly raised her younger sister as a young girl and went looking for Credence because she cares about him and wants him to be safe! 

And before I forget them, I know they don’t get a lot of focus from fandom, but I’m really excited to know what they’ll do with Nagini (as… controversial her whole story is, to put it in that way), if we’ll get to see Seraphina Picquery again - and I’m still sad they cut out the little plotline of her having something similar to a friendship with Tina!, and which role Eulalie Hicks will play in FB3 (and she’s played by none other than Jessica Williams!!!!).

Please though… the shade-throwing at OG Graves stans… LMAO now that’s a big mood. I won’t ever get it either, to be quite honest. 

As for headcanons (I’m awful with them, to be honest, and some of them have been/will be incorporated into my fics):

Leta: 

Wasn’t just a rebel at school but also at home. Think Sirius; constantly getting in trouble, breaking out of the mold at every occasion there was, the only reason why she was never disowned is because the sole heir of a dying branch can’t be disowned and she knew that. Also ran away from home multiple times in the summer break and would crash at Scamanders’. From the 3rd year onwards, Newt’s parents invited her to just stay for the whole summer if she managed to convince her father (she didn’t but it’s not as if Leta cared about that). Also she defo travelled through Europe after graduation on her own (th)e split with Newt had already happened) and had multiple relationships with women during that time. But Leta being Leta ( ☹ ), she always difficulties difficulty truly opening up, so it didn’t go anywhere and she left many broken hearts behind.

She’s friendly to all of her co-workers except the ones who abuse their power as aurors and those who don’t bother to hide either being pureblood supremacists and think she is just like them. If she hadn’t become an auror, Leta would’ve purchased a career in magizoology but leave Britain for good. She also has been in contact with Yusuf who does see her sister because he doesn’t hate the daughter for the sins of the father and Leta by all means is the complete opposite of Corvus IV.

Queenie:

She used to hate being a Legilimens because it alienated her from her peers at school. As a kid she easily got overwhelmed by it and only learned partially to control it in early adulthood. She didn’t have a lot of friends back at Ilvermorny but once she graduated and engaged in a different environment with grown-ups who didn’t know her from her school days, she became quite the extroverted person. Since she canonically takes care of Tina, who tends to overdo herself when it comes to her job, they go out together a lot.

She used to answer to people’s thoughts out loud much more often when she was younger and only does it occasionally nowadays. She gets quite upset whenever things don’t go her way or when someone manages to deceive her even when she is able to read them. Her boggart takes the form of her parents’ corpses. 

Vinda: 

She’s from an old Pureblood family and a descendant of the main branch (kinda like Leta). In her hometown of Avignon in Southern France they grew plants used for potions, most populary a specific type of rose, which is where they got their last name from. She met Grindelwald shortly after her graduation from Beauxbatons when he visited their family estate to talk to one of Vinda’s relatives, a fierce opponent of the Statute, and instead left with her who shared his ideas and ditched her plans to become the French equivalent of an Unspeakable at her Ministry to travel the world with the plans of starting a revolution. 

I imagine her boggart to take the appearance of her broken wand. She is a middle child, with an older sister and a younger brother. She doesn’t talk with them anymore because being a known terrorist might endanger your family, but they, especially the younger brother, and her parents are very proud of her. Big yikes but that’s purebloods for you.

Tina: 

Straight A-student at Ilvermorny; if teen!Tina would ever meet Hermione, it’d be like staring into a mirror. Tina is an overachiever later in life so it only makes sense for her to have been so earlier in life too. She and Seraphina Picquery became close friends despite Seraphina being two years older than her due to them being of a similar nature and would often study together in the library and spend their free time together, sometimes even just in comfortable silence. Graduated as best student of her year and was recommended to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement who basically showered her with benefits such as a new apartment and generous income despite basically being an “apprentice”. 

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 

Oh no. 

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

[lofitojii]

Admiration [IV]

Summary: He’s the son of Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty. He was everything as described, handsome, cunning, admirable. You, the daughter of Poseidon, god of waters, knows that it’s against the rules to fall for such a man. Demigods aren’t allowed to be romantically involved with one another. But it’s hard to stay away.

Warning: [M] Swearing.

Word Count: 3.2k

Admiration Masterlist

“Jongin, please,” you tried to calm him down. He let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his messy hair. “How’d you find out?”

“Alice made a comment about how you were jealous of the two of them and I just told her she was being delusional. We were halfway through dinner and Baekhyun disappeared for what felt like forever so I said I’d go look for him. I saw him come out of your room and that’s when he told me.” You knew that Baekhyun and Jongin were close and that it was rather difficult for Baekhyun to keep secrets from the people he cared about. It was only a matter of time before he caved so it doesn’t really surprise you that Jongin knew.

“So now what?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. You felt so exposed in front of Jongin, your body being covered by the silky robe and only that. “Are you going to run and tell the council? Turn us in?” Jongin raised an eyebrow, looking up from the floor he was so fixated on.

“I would never do that. You know I wouldn’t,” Jongin whispered, his eyes full of pain as he answered your question. “I want to help you.”

“What?”

“I was in love,” Jongin started, letting out a deep sigh. “Her name was Plum, never wanting people to know her real name. She was the daughter of Gaia. Her love for nature was admirable by many, especially catching my eye. I loved her and I believed she loved me too. Junmyeon found out and reported it back to his father and instead of stripping her memory and powers, she was sent to live on Earth with her brother Kyungsoo. She’s not allowed here and it’s all my fault. I should have been more careful.” 

You remembered Plum, her bright purple hair, the freckles across the bridge of her nose. She was quiet but sweet to everyone she met. You remember the day she left too, the reason behind it being that she wanted to take care of her land rather than wait around any longer. You had no idea that the reason was because she and Jongin had fallen in love.

“I want to help. If you guys find Hera and somehow manage to get the dating ban lifted, I could bring Plum back here or maybe even join her there. I just want to see Plum again.” Jongin was hurting from when he lost her, you could see it. It wasn’t hard to notice the pain he was feeling.

“Then come with us,” you offered. “We’re going to need some help getting out of here.” Jongin looked shocked at your offer, neither of you expecting your reached out hand. You wanted to help Jongin more than you wanted him to help you leave. 

“When do we leave?” He got to his feet, towering over you with his broad shoulders.

“Meet at the lake house around the bend of the lake tomorrow evening. Chanyeol and Baekhyun will meet us there.” Jongin nodded, making his way towards the door, getting ready to leave. He stopped before he reached the door, turning his attention towards you.

“Thank you, Y/n.” He exited the room, leaving you alone once more. You were grateful to know that Jongin was on your side in this. He wasn’t just doing it for you, but for himself as well. He knew what it was like to be in love, to lose someone he loved.

Your chest was tight, blocking any sort of airwaves to flow through your body. You sat in your room, eyeing the door as if someone was going to bust it down at any given second. It was early in the morning, far from your departing time, but you could feel that someone knew. That, someone, was going to try and come and stop you, but as the hours went on and you continued to stare aimlessly at the door, all you could hear was the passing by of what you assumed to be house servants. Not a single knock at the door, no one rushing around looking for you. Not yet, at least.

You finally exhaled, letting your body relax from the stiff position it’s been in for the last couple of hours. You made sure to pack a bag last night, hiding it under your bed so that you could have a quick getaway that night. You didn’t want anything to hold you back, you just wanted to leave.

To run away with Baekhyun had been something of a dream since the first time you met him. There were constant fantasies of how you wanted to travel around the universe with him, taking trips to Venus and Mars. You wanted to explore Earth and the beautiful lands you had seen only in pictures. You grew up on Uranus with your father, not remembering what Earth was like. All you wanted was to return and you finally had the chance to. Hera was rumored to be hiding out somewhere on Earth, the main attraction to all godly beings.

“Well good morning,” you heard Chanyeol approach you, walking next to you as you walked down the long hall towards the kitchen. “I wonder how they’re going to feel when some of us don’t show up to the Kingsman ball tonight.”

“Guess we’ll find out,” you shrugged, pushing open the door to the kitchen. It was rather full, everyone enjoying the morning of the Kingsman. The Kingsman is a ceremony where Zeus’ son, in this case, Junmyeon, is appointed ruler of the council. He gains the power that Zeus has, leaving Zeus to live a life of his own until it is time for him to return Olympia. Junmyeon was to take his place, making it his land. You never felt anything wrong towards Junmyeon, he was a great leader in training when you met him. Too bad you wouldn’t be there to see it pan out.

“Y/n, you have dress fitting this afternoon for tonight’s event,” your father came up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. You had forgotten that you had promised your father you would go with him that night, your heart beating faster as you thought about him finding out. His words continued to play in your head.

“Those who fall in love with someone else rather than the world are selfish.”

You didn’t want your father to hate you, but you didn’t know what else to do at this point. Either live with the loss or really reach out and make Baekhyun yours.

“Ms. Y/n, we’re ready for you.��� You felt as if your day was speeding along in the blink of an eye. The closer the sun was to setting behind the distant mountains, the more your heart swelled with excitement. You didn’t know what was going to happen or if you were ready.

You looked at yourself in the blue gown, the ombre from sky blue to a deep ocean color. It was the color of who you were, resembling your inner self. The daughter of Poseidon, god of the sea. “Everyone is being dressed in their orb colors tonight but this one is by far my favorite look of the evening.” The man who had dressed you was a close friend of your fathers. He was a designer for godly beings, always having something special about his designs. You were curious as to why yours was his favorite.

“Well come on now Tao, what’s so great about this gown?” He smiled, his hands lacing up the back of your gown.

“Let’s just say that it’s light, pretty good for a quick getaway if you ask me.” He shot you a wink before helping you off the small step. You shot him a look of confusion, his smirk just growing as he walked you away from the step and towards a mirror.

You stood there, looking at yourself in the full body mirror and not recognizing yourself. The bruises and scars that you had received from training not too long ago were fading, still there but not as dark. You felt as if your features were softened by the way the color of your dress contrasted with your skin. You felt beautiful for once. You felt as if you were more than what you saw yourself to be.

“Her dress doesn’t compare to yours,” Tao said, walking away from the mirror. You raised an eyebrow once again at his comment, wondering how he managed to read your mind. “It’s a baby pink color, not even floor length. Also wasn’t made by me so there’s nothing special about it.”

“You met her?” You asked, curious about the information you had just found out. Tao scoffed, turning around and laughing.

“Awful girl that one. She was so rude to me. I don’t think she knew who I was but regardless, you shouldn’t treat people the way she treated me.” You knew, as well as everyone else, that Alice was nothing but a gold digger. You wanted so bad to call her out, to expose her. But instead, you decided that it was better to leave it unspoken, let her be. You were about to leave with her main purpose of being here. “Y/n.” Tao broke you from your trance. “Be careful tonight. And good luck.”

“Luck with what?” your father’s voice boomed, startling both you and Tao. “With those heels? She’s going to need it. My little warrior looking more like her mother every day.” You felt your cheeks go bright red, looking down at your twiddling thumbs.

“She is a stunning young woman, isn’t she?” Tao agreed, placing a hand on the small of your back. “Now, I’ll send her out when she’s ready. Go go.” Tao pushed your father out of the room, quickly locking the door behind him. He turned around, a smirk on his face. He raced across the room, quickly unlocking the other door having Baekhyun and Chanyeol walk through. Baekhyun stood there, fitted in his maroon suit, matching the color of his orb. He looked stunning, the way the suit fitted his figure.

“Wow,” Baekhyun breathed, coming up to you and placing a small kiss on your cheek.

“Baek,” you pushed him away, signaling towards Tao who was just laughing.

“He knows. I asked for his help tonight.”

“I can only do so much before people catch on that you’re missing,” Tao spoke out, looking down at his watch then back up at the both of you. “The minute Baekhyun doesn’t walk through that door with Alice on his arm, Aphrodite is going to throw a fit.” 

“Thank you,” you nodded over towards Tao.

“Most girls would like reward the guy with a kiss on the cheek but, you know what. It’s okay. You’re fine.”

“Are you sure?” you raised an eyebrow. “Cause I can-”

“No no. It’s okay. You’re fine.”

“Can we not do this right now? I’m like, on the tip of my toes here,” Chanyeol stopped you. He was pacing back and forth, his anxiety level rising as time went on as the four of you stood there. “Jongin said he called a friend and they’re waiting for us at the lake house but we have to go now.”

“He’s right,” Baekhyun added, grabbing your hand. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” You looked up at Baekhyun’s big brown eyes, his features softer as he searched your face for some sort of answer. You leaned up, pressing your lips gently against his, reassuring that you were ready. “I’ll go first. I’m closer to the last of the line so it will be easier for me to get away. Chanyeol, you need to make sure Y/n makes it without getting hurt.”

“I can handle myself,” you stepped up, interrupting him. Baekhyun just nodded, agreeing with your statement. He kissed you once more, this time the kiss lingering a bit longer.

“I’ll see you soon.” He walked out, giving you a few minutes between the three of you.

“Okay, let’s go,” Chanyeol motioned, Tao following close beside you.

“In the tights you’re wearing, there’s a button on the side. Press that if you need to defend yourself. Also, make sure you keep your orb on you.”

“Y/n!” You heard your father call your name, your heart dropping as you heard him approach from behind you. You stopped, Chanyeol and Tao continuing down the steps. “Where were you going?”

“Um,” you began to hesitate. “I was… Going to meet you down there.” Your father frowned, his facial expression becoming more curious at your actions. He pulled your arm out of the middle of the hallway.

“What’s going on? You’ve been acting weird the last couple of days. Is everything okay?” Your father’s expression was genuine. The way his features became soft when he asked the question hurt your heart.

“Yes. I’m fine,” you lied, knowing damn well you weren’t fine. Your father let out a sigh, rubbing his hand over his beard. He looked around, leaning closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Go,” he sighed. You looked at your father, taken back by his demand. “I said go. I’ll try and cover for as long as I can but you need to go now.”

“How’d you-”

“He came to me about two weeks ago. He’ll tell you the rest,” he linked your arm with his, going down the steps that lead to the main level. “Keep running and remember your training. You have to ocean’s orb with you. Use it.”

“Thank you, father.” You gave him a hug before rushing out the main doors of the building, trying your best to not be seen by anyone as you made your way towards the lake house. You lifted your dress so that you could walk faster, trying your best to stay hidden. You looked up at the night sky, the moon shining brightly, the stars shining so bright that you could see the surface of Saturn. It was a beautiful night, clear skies, warm air. 

“There you are. I thought for sure your father was going to rat us out,” Chanyeol said, greeting you at the door. Jongin, Baekhyun, Sehun, and Chanyeol all stood there, waiting for you to arrive alongside with someone else you didn’t know.

“Y/n, this is Jongdae. He’s the son of Hermes.”

“The messenger god,” you cut Sehun off, nodding towards Jongdae. “Heard a lot about you.” He was known to be a compulsive liar. Never working for the good side, nor the bad. He was his own person, taking after his father in many aspects. You didn’t want to trust him, but he was a friend of Jongin’s. He had to be trustworthy.

“You as well,” Jongdae smirked. You wanted to press for more answers but decided against it, considering the condition you guys were in. “The council will be on your ass as soon as they notice that you guys are out of their realm. Put these rings on, it will cloud their tracking devices of your orbs. Do not take them off by any means. The minute they catch a signal, you’ll be caught.” You looked at the plain silver ring, sliding it over your middle finger. You all followed Jongdae out of the lake house, being caught off guard by a huge flash of lightning, followed by a massive rumble of thunder.

“Go,” Sehun pushed. “I’ll meet up with you guys later. All hell is about to break loose and I want to help.” You continued to follow Jongdae towards the forest where you had practiced multiple times before. You knew the forest like the back of your hand.

“There’s a car outside across the road from the opening about a mile out. There’s a map in the front console. Follow it and I’ll meet you guys there.” Jongdae ran in the opposite direction of the four of you, letting you run straight for the entrance of your world. It was the one entrance that connected Earth and your realm, being the only way in and out.

You continued to run, your chest on fire from the constant running. “This way!” You heard someone call from behind you. You felt your body be jolted back, the end of your dress getting snagged on a branch.

“Y/n!” Baekhyun rushed back towards you, trying to pull your dress out but it was no use. It was caught on the branch, the only way to get it unstuck is ripping the whole thing.

“Guys! Come on!” Chanyeol begged, his attention focused mainly on the flashing lights behind him.

“Move,” Jogin said, pulling out his sword and swinging it above his head. Your eyes went wide, placing your hands on his arms.

“Woah! No!” You stopped him. You quickly ripped the dress, dropping the remains of your dress on the ground. “No need to cut off my whole leg.”

“I wasn’t going to cut your leg off,” Jongin wined, following behind as you continued to run for the entrance.

“There’s a barrier that is going to go up in the next two minutes. We need to be across that line. Once we’re across, it will hold long enough for us to get a decent distance away from the entrance.” Baekhyun was quick to speed ahead of the rest of the group, making it to the car faster than the rest. You felt your heart beat out of your chest as you barely made it through the entrance, having it close up right as you stepped onto the dirt across the path.

“Good lord,” Jongin cursed, trying to catch his breath.

“We have to keep going. Baekyun- he’s. He’s wait-,” Chanyeol tried to form some sort of sentence through his gasps for air. You nodded, continuing to make your way through the unfamiliar forest area.

Your mind was dead set on getting to the car, your heart and body begging for you to stop but you knew you couldn’t. You wanted to just collapse but you knew that if you were caught, there was no way you could be with Baekhyun every again, and that’s what scared you the most.

“There!” Jongin yelled, pointing at the car that was waiting for the three of you. Jongin swung open the door, letting the two of you jump in before him. He was quick to close the door behind him, Baekhyun taking off before he even had both feet in the car. You let your body rest against the seat, trying your best to even out your breath. You closed your eyes, focusing in on your breathing as best as you could.

“We did it,” Baekhyun whispered, placing a hand on your thigh and giving it a small squeeze. You opened your eyes, letting your eyes flutter over in his direction. He was fixated on the road but his soothing strokes of his thumb against your thigh was enough. You rested your hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze. “One of you open the map and tell me where we’re going.” You handed the map behind you, Chanyeol taking it from your hands. You let your mind wander back to the council, to your home of Olympia.

Your father was on your side, defending you. You wanted to ask Baekhyun about what he had said to your father, wanting to know how he got him to let you go. You wanted to ask what happened between him and Alice as well, curious as to how their relationship actually was. You were curious but decided to leave it for another day.

“Guys,” Jongin smiled, looking up from the map. “Look’s like we’re headed for LA.”

“LA?” You asked, rather confused at the destination. “Hera isn’t going to be in a big city.”

“It’s where Jongdae wants us to go,” Baekhyun pointed out. “He wouldn’t ask us there if it wasn’t important.”

“Where even are we?” Chanyeol asked, looking outside at the surroundings. You passed a sign, unfamiliar with your whereabouts.

“Europe,” Baekhyun added. “20 minutes outside of London. We’ll take the first flight out.”

“How’d you know?” Jongin asked, rather surprised. Baekhyun opened the glovebox, pulling out a small envelope.

“I’ve never been to LA,” Chanyeol said, leaning back in his seat. You could see him in the review mirror, his shirt torn at the ends, the sleeves nearly shredded. His white hair was also a mess, as well as Jongin’s. Everyone’s outfits were torn to pieces, including yours.

“There’s a change of clothes in the back. I made sure to bring something for all of us,” Baekhyun said, noticing you were staring at you ripped clothes. “You looked beautiful by the way. You still do.” He lifted your hand to his lips, leaving a small kiss on the back of your hand. You felt your heart flutter, your head clouded with Baekhyun only.

You were on the run but you didn’t care. You had one objective and that was to be with Baekhyun. You were already halfway there, your journey barely beginning.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing your hand once more. “So much.”

[logh-icebergs]

Episode 26: Farewell, Distant Days

Dear Icebergs readers—as we’ve reached the first season finale of LoGH, we’ve inevitably arrived at some pretty serious spoilers, so if you haven’t already seen all of LoGH season one, I would advise against reading any further. Instead, you can find our FAQs here and our very first post here, and we hope to see you back here soon!

Everyone else: When you're ready, please proceed to our episode 26 post, below. —the editors

September-October 797/488. Ansbach’s assassination attempt on Reinhard is thwarted by Kircheis—first by knocking his gun out of the way, and then by taking fire himself from yet another concealed weapon, this time in Ansbach’s ring. Ansbach shoots through Kircheis’s chest and neck, then bites a poison pill to commit suicide. Reinhard’s admirals scramble, but it’s too late to save Kircheis, who dies while Reinhard holds his hand and looks on in bewilderment. Beyond devastated, Reinhard shuts himself away with Kircheis’s body for days on end. Oberstein convinces the admirals to cast former ally Lichtenlade as a scapegoat for Ansbach’s crime, and, grateful for something to do, the entire fleet storms Odin. Meanwhile, Oberstein informs Annerose of Kircheis’s death, Reuental receives an unexpected invitation, and Reinhard hardens his heart.

Reinhard and Kircheis

The first time I watched episode 26 of Legend of Galactic Heroes, there was a moment when, literally sitting on the edge of my seat, I wondered if this show was about to disappoint me horribly. Kircheis was, clearly, dying. The admirals were fluttering around him trying and failing to stop the bleeding, giving up on leaving to go get a doctor—too quickly, it seemed. And where was Reinhard? Why wasn’t he there?

As a queer consumer of media, I’m used to this kind of disappointment. Seeing my experiences reflected onscreen at all remains rare, and when a piece of media does deign to include a queer character or two, more often than not they’re killed off unceremoniously in as homophobically moralizing a way as possible. The death scenes of queer characters tend to leave me with a sick feeling not because I’m grieving the character but because I hate that I’ve had to give up on expecting queer characters and their relationships to be given a fraction of the respect afforded their straight counterparts.

The first 25 episodes of LoGH had surprised me with their nuanced and respectful depiction of queerness, in particular of Reinhard and Kircheis’s relationship. But as a seasoned veteran of queer media consumption, as Kircheis bled out on the floor while Reinhard did who knows what across the room, I didn’t know how else to interpret what I was seeing other than “Kircheis is about to die alone.” My stomach hurt. And then, this happened:

Given that it’s animated, LoGH has so far been remarkable in its commitment to realism. Without exception, what has been shown to us onscreen has been presented as an accurate depiction of events; the closest to a diversion from that has been the show’s frequent use of flashbacks, but even those are always anchored to a specific character’s experience of remembering the past.

As Reinhard steps painstakingly down the stairs toward where Kircheis lays in a pool of his own blood, the creators of LoGH throw away their own established set of rules. What we are seeing is no longer what is literally happening; instead, we are with Reinhard—and for him, nothing in the world exists at that moment except Kircheis and himself. With this scene, the LoGH creative team show us that they will do whatever they have to in order to respect their characters: If there are too many people around for Reinhard and Kircheis to get the intimate last goodbyes they and their relationship deserve, well, everyone else will simply have to be removed.

Even the lack of voiceover accompanying Reinhard’s quick series of flashbacks here reinforces the extent to which reality has been skewed for the duration of this scene.

For me, this was when LoGH went from being a great show to being (as you may have noticed) my favorite show—and not just because of how kindly it treats its characters, even while they experience gut-wrenching tragedy. Kircheis’s death changes Reinhard and, as I’ll obviously be exploring at length as we move into season 2, that changes the entire landscape of the show. Though from the beginning it has always been deeply personal and human, especially for a war epic of such massive scale, the question of what Reinhard will do now, without Kircheis, turns LoGH psychologically dark in ways that have only been hinted at so far.

Back in episode 4, we were first introduced to Reinhard’s plan to gain enough power to rescue Annerose from the clutches of Kaiser Friedrich IV. Friedrich IV has since died of natural causes, freeing Annerose without Reinhard’s help. In episode 8, we learn that Reinhard’s ambitions extend to overthrowing the Goldenbaum empire, and then achieving supremacy over the entire universe—very specifically with Kircheis at his side. By the end of episode 26, Reinhard rules the empire in everything but name (the six-year-old Erwin Josef II still sits on the throne as Kaiser), but Kircheis is dead, rendering Reinhard’s longtime goal of joint conquest impossible.

For practical purposes, this barely matters: Above, Kircheis uses some of his last remaining energy to beg Reinhard to follow through with the plan they made together, in effect guaranteeing that he will continue on the same path after Kircheis dies. But in more abstract terms, both of Reinhard’s main reasons for seeking political power are now gone. And with a promise to the dead Kircheis as Reinhard’s driving force, Empire-side LoGH has suddenly become a very different show—one that is no longer about a man trying to conquer the universe, but is rather about a man searching for something to hold onto in a universe that, without Kircheis in it, seems to have very little to offer.

Annerose

But Reinhard shouldn’t feel entirely alone in the universe. After all, he has his sister, right? Well, not exactly. As Reinhard learns after Oberstein breaks the news of Kircheis’s death to Annerose (against Reinhard’s wishes), Annerose has decided now is the perfect time to do something really, really cruel: cut off contact with her grieving brother.

Reinhard’s Family

That the season 1 arc of Reinhard and Annerose’s relationship ends on a bad note is frankly an understatement, but to really dig into how things stand between them in episode 26, we must first get a handle on all the moving parts that brought them to this point.

Over the course of my season 1 posts, I’ve mapped out much of the dynamic between Reinhard and Annerose: Reinhard, who both idealizes and idolizes his sister, does so (unwittingly) at the expense of her personhood; Annerose, whose agency has been violently denied her since an early age, projects a portion of her (natural) resentment onto her brother, who moves freely about the universe steadily gaining power while her life remains stagnant. One aspect of their relationship that I haven’t examined, however, is the extent to which Annerose has played a parental role in Reinhard’s life.

In this scene from the episode 4 flashback, Reinhard assigns to Annerose the kind of responsibility for his behavior that would ordinarily be reserved for a parent or guardian.

And then, after Reinhard and Kircheis have conspired to keep Reinhard’s misdeeds from his sister, Annerose puts their wet clothes in the laundry and dotes on them with hot chocolate and freshly baked pie. This is maybe the most archetypal depiction of motherhood I’ve ever seen, despite the fact that Annerose is both 1. actually Reinhard’s sister and 2. only five years his senior.

Reinhard’s father, who sold Annerose into sexual slavery at the age of fifteen, is obviously awful. And Reinhard’s mother, who hasn’t even ever been mentioned, clearly never had much of a presence in Reinhard’s life. Annerose is the only person (besides, eventually, Kircheis) we ever see taking responsibility and caring for Reinhard.

Reinhard’s family, as it is presented to us, is comprised of three people: himself, Annerose, and Kircheis. Though Kircheis is literally never (not once in all of LoGH!) referred to as being “like a brother” to Reinhard, their constant companionship since a young age means that their interactions often blur the line between surrogate-familial and romantic. The fact that Reinhard always brings Kircheis with him on visits to Annerose, for example, indicates that he at least views the three of them as a tight-knit unit.

But in Reinhard’s chosen family, there is a clear delineation of roles between Annerose and himself/Kircheis. In the gif above, Reinhard and Kircheis sit across the table from Annerose, who acts like a parent not just to Reinhard but to Kircheis as well; the difference in age and maturity between them is underlined by both Annerose’s matter-of-fact competence and Reinhard and Kircheis’s unashamed (and matching) nudity.

The photo that Kircheis gazes at in episode 25 (which eventually shows up in Reinhard’s locket, discussed later in this post) also draws a solid line between Annerose—who is more than a full head taller than the boys—and Reinhard/Kircheis. Kircheis’s sideways gaze at Reinhard serves to emphasize even further that they are a discrete pair.

Reinhard’s behavior towards Annerose starts to make more sense once you realize that he basically considers her his mother. Just as children tend not to understand—sometimes well into adulthood—that their parents are fully formed, flawed human beings with rich inner lives, so Reinhard has kept Annerose on a pedestal, treating her more like a symbol than a complex person. This also explains how Reinhard can, for example, be so blasé about teasing Kircheis in front of Annerose for his love of her cooking: Naïve as he is, the idea that Annerose might have feelings for Kircheis that go beyond platonic and motherly would never occur to Reinhard in a million years—unless something were to happen that brought Annerose’s feelings into stark relief.

Annerose Makes Up Her Mind

Which brings us back to the scene at hand, Kircheis’s death being the exact sort of cataclysmic event that might throw a wrench into Reinhard’s precarious relationship with his sister. And the second Annerose opens her mouth to speak, Reinhard knows something is wrong:

Annerose’s tone of voice here is as cold and distant as what she’s actually saying; rather than sharing in or sympathizing with Reinhard’s grief, she isolates him in it, trivializing his feelings of loss while also—by implying Kircheis was the only person Reinhard could ever care about losing—calling into question the authenticity of his devotion to her.

If Reinhard had been aware of all the little signs of Annerose’s resentment towards him that have been building up over the course of the last 25 episodes, this conversation might have gone differently—not because Annerose would have done a better job playing the part of the soothing sister/mother, but because Reinhard might not have been expecting her to. But Reinhard is naïve, especially about Annerose, so her abrupt switch from passive aggression (which Reinhard of course never picked up on) to overt hostility shocks Reinhard into a realization.

Above, Reinhard first protests Annerose’s disingenuous declaration that he has nothing left to lose, and then looks on in horror as it becomes clear that she intends to make it a true statement. But even while Reinhard listens, and responds, the gears are (visibly!) turning in his head, trying desperately to figure out what the fuck is going on. So let’s join him: What the fuck is going on?

First and foremost, I think, is Annerose’s desire for freedom. With Kircheis gone, she must realize that Reinhard’s need for her emotional support will increase astronomically. It’s one thing for her to live quietly in Reinhard’s mansion when he’s usually off gallivanting around space with his boyfriend; it’s quite another thing to share a home with someone who is grieving the loss of, as Mittermeyer so eloquently put it, half of his own self.

Because Reinhard may view Annerose as a mother, but that isn’t how Annerose views Annerose. We don’t actually know how she views herself—as I said back in episode 1, our entire characterization of Annerose is a reflection of how the world sees her—but we do know how she came to be Reinhard’s mother figure and, like her sale to Kaiser Friedrich IV, it wasn’t through any choice of her own.

In fact, this choice, the one to tell her grieving brother to fuck off so that she can finally get some time and space to herself, is the first choice we’ve ever seen Annerose make. So despite episode 26 ending on a catastrophic note for Reinhard’s relationship with Annerose, it ends on something of a triumphant note for Annerose herself: In choosing not to allow her well-meaning brother to use her as his personal grief counselor, she has finally, if perversely, reclaimed her agency.

Meanwhile, Reinhard has come to a completely different realization about Annerose’s motives:

My much earlier promise of a love triangle between Reinhard, Kircheis, and Annerose has finally come to fruition in true LoGH fashion, i.e. as morbidly as possible.

Make no mistake: The reason Reinhard asks this question of Annerose now is because it has never occurred to him before, and the reason it has occurred to him now is because Annerose is behaving in a way that he interprets as some mixture of jealous, vindictive, and heartbroken—none of which align with his image of his sister. Faced with her unambiguous and uncharacteristic cruelty, Reinhard searches around for an explanation and comes up with what would have sounded outlandish to him until this moment: romantic love.

But was Annerose in love with Kircheis? I don’t know. Frankly, I doubt Annerose knows (and we never get to see her answer, if she even gives one). Remember, Kircheis was ten years old to Annerose’s fifteen when she became the Kaiser’s concubine, meaning for most of the time they actually spent together, Annerose was basically Kircheis’s babysitter. It’s certainly possible that she developed romantic feelings for him over the years, or at least projected some romantic ideal onto him that she experienced as love. Given that he was probably the only male figure in her life besides her brother who was ever kind to her, it wouldn’t be surprising.

As a rival to Reinhard, though, my guess is that Annerose never considered herself in the running—and if anything, that would have made Kircheis an even safer object of affection for someone whose real-life experience with men was limited to a decade of blatant sexual exploitation. But that certainly doesn’t preclude jealousy or heartbreak; in that sense, Reinhard might be partially right about why Annerose chooses to act the way she does.

The accuracy of Reinhard’s suspicions, however, isn’t particularly important. What matters is that Reinhard has had this realization at all: In yet another twisted triumph for Annerose, and at immense cost, her brother has finally realized that she’s human.

Queerness

Given the reasons for the existence of this blog, it’s only fitting that we end our first season with a discussion of how LoGH treats queerness. Conveniently, this coincides with the creative team’s decision to convert a substantial portion of the show’s queer subtext into explicit text, done via multiple perspectives and narrative techniques throughout the season finale.

Our first open acknowledgement of the romantic nature of Reinhard and Kircheis’s relationship comes, unfortunately, from Kircheis’s murderer, Ansbach. The phrase “other half,” unlike much of the language used thus far to describe Reinhard and Kircheis, doesn’t have a heteronormative surface reading.

Incidentally, Ansbach’s easy familiarity with the concept of a romantic partnership between two men has always been one of the things that made me wonder about his feelings for Braunschweig—along with the fact that immediately after this, Ansbach tells Braunschweig to “wait for him in Valhalla” before killing himself.

Kircheis’s last words, too, work to remove a layer of heteronormativity from LoGH’s surface reading, albeit more subtly:

In this final, stunning example of a Reinhard-Bechdel Test failure, Kircheis uses his last breath to ask Reinhard to tell Annerose... that he kept his promise to be a good friend to Reinhard.

In a heteronormative piece of media, when a male character brings up a female character’s name in his dying breath, one would probably expect him to declare his undying love for her. That Kircheis starts his last sentence with “Please tell Lady Annerose...” and finishes it with a positive allusion to his relationship with Reinhard is an incredible subversion of heteroromantic tropes. It even goes so far as to “straight-bait,” dangling the possibility of Kircheis’s romantic feelings for Annerose in front of the viewer before categorically dismissing it.

Later, while Reinhard mourns, Mittermeyer uses similar language to Ansbach’s, above, to explain to Müller why Reinhard is in such an inconsolable state:

Like Ansbach’s usage of “other half,” Mittermeyer’s “half of his own self” doesn’t have a non-romantic interpretation to bolster LoGH’s increasingly shaky heteronormative surface reading. Also like (maybe) Ansbach, Mittermeyer is a character who (as we’ll see much more of soon) can speak from his personal experiences with queer romance, making him perfect for delivering this unambiguous message not just to other characters, but also to the viewer.

The last scene of the episode and the season finds Reinhard at Kircheis’s grave which, yet again, emphasizes his romantic relationship with Reinhard, and not just because of the inscription’s use of the singular possessive “my”:

Though the German “Mein Freund” directly translates to “my friend,” that isn’t actually how the phrase is used in Germany, where “Mein Freund” most frequently refers to a male romantic partner. The only ambiguity about Kircheis’s inscription is in how it’s translated: as わが友 in Japanese or, literally, “my friend,” obscuring the German usage and allowing it to continue to pass as heteronormative.

After placing flowers on Kircheis’s grave, Reinhard sits back, revealing that he has started wearing a locket. Opening it, he shows us that it contains a photo we’ve seen before of Reinhard with his chosen family, and a lock of Kircheis’s hair:

Season one of Legend of Galactic Heroes ends on a deeply personal note, and it also ends on a series of questions: What, or who, will Reinhard find to fill the gaping hole in his life left by Kircheis’s death? Will it be his rivalry with Yang? Other, darker questions are left unspoken, but their presence is felt nonetheless: Will Reinhard find something to “quench the thirst in his heart”? And, if not, what then?

Stray Tidbits

During this post, as usual, I’ve used gifs from the LD (original) versions of LoGH instead of their redrawn versions. Episode 26 was almost entirely redrawn, and many of the “remastered” scenes are dramatically different from their original versions, so I’m gonna give a few sample comparisons here. Kircheis’s death scene, for example, was changed to make his physical process of dying appear significantly less grisly. Below, on the left, the redrawn Kircheis’s body is still and his eyes are focused on Reinhard; on the right, the original Kircheis’s breaths are visibly laborious and painful, and his eyes are unfocused:

Below, Reinhard’s facial expressions and reactions during his conversation with Annerose were changed so drastically that he might as well be a different character. In the redraw (left), Reinhard is practically throwing a tantrum; in the original (right), Reinhard is still shocked, but keeps his composure as he struggles to process his sister’s unexpected cruelty, placing the emphasis squarely on his thoughts rather than on his feelings:

On a lighter note, the redraw team seems to have been confused (or, less charitably, offended) by this public display of intimacy between Reuental and Mittermeyer—in the redraw (left), Reuental stops Mittermeyer from standing by either touching his hand or just making a motion as if to touch his hand, keeping a respectful distance; in the original (right), Reuental physically impedes Mittermeyer from standing up by placing his hand on *draws a diagram* his very inner thigh, and leaving it there:

A small worldbuilding note: The dates on Kircheis’s grave are wrong! He was actually born in 467, not 468, according to every other marker of time in the LoGH universe.

And now for something extremely disturbing: An official LoGH-branded Kircheis roomba exists. When it’s low on batteries, it says, “I won’t be able to serve you anymore, Reinhard-sama.” Sadly, this is real and I’m not making it up.

[hello-stensy-blog]

Political Incident, Chapter IV: Storm

Armitage never held any interest in warm climates or lush vegetation before. Arkanis was known to be a cold and sad environment, and he had never left his homeland. He did not mind these traits as he did not know any better. But here, now, he knew he was not in Arkanis.  He could not put his finger on what made him feel so good about the place he was currently standing in. Leaning against the balcony, he surveyed the landscape. With each lingering second, new questions sprung in his mind. He realized he had no idea where he was. He had never seen this place before. It was the absolute opposite of Arkanis. His country was dominated by cool colors, and at this moment he was too hot. He could not remember how he arrived here in the first place. As he was beginning to feel uncomfortable, he heard the crumpling of sheet behind him. With it, everything suddenly made sense and he knew where he was. The Ren’s castle in Naboo. Kylo’s balcony. And Kylo was nearby.

Armitage turned to see that Kylo was here. He could recognize his dark locks and broad back. He was not alone. Under his massive body, Armitage could just make out a frailer one lying beneath.

Armitage was no more than an observer of this intimate exchange. He found he could not look away. Therefore, he watched Kylo sin in his bed. He could only see his back and hear his deep moans, but it was enough to make him shiver. Oddly enough, the contemplation of Kylo's hip movements did not make him uncomfortable anymore, but simply (unreasonably) aroused. Kylo's partner had his legs slung around those hips, and Kylo lustfully caressed them while continuing to pleasure his partner and himself.

Shortly after, Kylo turned his head to face Armitage. He had the smug smile Armitage knew well and told him, "You really should get some human contact, if you know what I mean. I’d volunteer, if you’d like."

He got up then, leaving his partner behind. Armitage’s eyes widened with shock when he discovered that Kylo was in fact sinning with no other than himself, Armitage Hux. Two pairs of identical blue eyes met while Kylo approached him. Closer than ever, he stroked the confused ginger’s cheek, getting closer, and closer. As the prince of Naboo’s lips met with Armitage’s, he began to hear noises that immediately startled him away, hurtling him toward dark memories. He looked back at the bed and found that the other Armitage was now struggling in the air, hanged above the sheets he had been pleasured on just a few seconds ago. His feet were desperately trying to touch the mattress as his body swung with the effort and his throat continued to produce the most spine-chilling sounds.

***********************************************

For the first time ever, Armitage Hux didn’t get up with the sun. The only thing that rose with him was a panic attack soon followed by a violent headache.

He was no longer in Naboo, he had no doubt about that. He could hear hard rain drops hitting his windows.

The memories of his nightmare did not want to leave his mind and he kept seeing himself hanged above the bed. That vision was superimposed to another he once had, on a cruel morning of his childhood. His breath shortened and tears slowly ran over his face. He tried, but could not contain them.

- Wow, Hux, are you okay?

Armitage jumped at the voice rising next to him. He had not noticed Kylo Ren there, sitting on his bed. Knowing he was not alone was enough for Hux to come back to his senses. He wiped his tears and, to keep up appearances, growled at a sincerely concerned Kylo Ren:

-What do you put in your bloody liquor, Ren? -You didn’t drink that much. Two sips and you were already gone. -Ugh. Armitage sat up and almost instantly regretted this decision. It felt like a war was happening in his head, one that he wasn't in command of. -What are you doing in my room, anyway? -What a way to thank me for the tenderness I gave you last night. Hux turned to him in horror. Ren giggled. -Hux, calm down. It was a joke. You're still wearing your clothes, what are you thinking? -Oh, I am sure this kind of joke is a hit with your kind, Ren. But we don't joke like that around here.

Especially after such a TERRIBLE nightmare, Armitage thought.

-Yeah, I heard about that. Too bad for all of you. You're clearly missing out. By the way he speaks, you can tell he has been busy sinning his entire life. This sole fact was making Hux feel nervous. He is in my room, discussing unholy things as if he is trying to get me hooked. Armitage's response to this was immediate and cold:

- The only thing we are "missing out on," as you say, is an opportunity to be hanged. So thanks, I'll pass. Kylo Ren gawked at him. Yesterday night, when he had to bring the Hux successor back to his room, he had noticed something in him.  He couldn’t unsee it now. Armitage Hux's stature called for his hold, making the ginger's rejection to it even more frustrating. He felt a heat crawl down his chest. He pictured seizing Armitage Hux,  his hands on his hips, forcing him to hold his gaze. He wanted to show him how natural it was. Two boys can take care of each other. It is no outrage, despite what your father says.

Kylo realized Hux was staring at him with eager eyes.

-I must change clothes, Lord Ren, and I would quite like you not in my room staring at me like a creep as I do.

-Right, Kylo said, leaving quickly once he was back to his senses.

Alone at last, Hux deeply sighed.

***********************************************

As she was walking the castle’s corridor, Leia Ren heard the announcement. A few men were announcing it over and over: “The execution will take place in two hours at the castle’s main gates.”

She couldn’t believe it. I have confronted Brendol Hux about the poor boy’s case last night, and all for nothing. This fool will listen to no one else but himself. And I can’t even contact Poe, as I sent him to get our forces prepared. Time is running out. What should I do?

“The execution will take place in two hours at the castle’s main gates.”

Leia sighed, thinking hard about her options. She looked up and saw her son at the end of the corridor with Jeha. They were speaking low, both looking by the opened window. She called her son out and both men turned. Kylo leaned into Jeha to whisper something while she walked toward them at a quick pace. By the time she reached the two, Jeha was bowing and leaving in a hurry. Leia and Kylo’s eyes met gravely. They didn’t have to say it out loud, they knew they shared the same concern. They could read each other’s minds by sharing a gaze, which was sometimes unfortunate for Kylo. Whenever he tried to hide something from his mother, the secrecy never lasted long.

-We have to do something about it.

-I know exactly how.

Leia’s eyes opened with astonishment.

-I hope it does not involve any barbaric means.

-Oh, come on! I know when to lay low, I am not just a rabid dog!

-Alright! So, what is your plan, exactly?

Mother and son walked together for a time, exchanging their thoughts with low voices. They were both feeling relieved, confident about the situation now that they had moved their pawns. All they had to do was wait patiently and act as if nothing was happening.

***********************************************

Finn had no other choice but to be reminded of his upcoming death every half-hour. Even from the dungeon, he could hear the faint echo of the announcement. Only a few hours to go. Are you done with life Finn? No. Got any regrets? Lots.

He heard complaints behind the door. He focused on the noises, trying to understand what was going on. His cell’s door opened with a terrifying grating sound. Two men entered. What? No, it’s too early! That’s not fair!

Finn resumed his pleas where he left them few hours ago.

-No! No, please, don’t! Don’t do it! Don’t do it?

-Don’t do what? Rescue you?

Wait, what?

Finn was confused.

The youngest man sighed, obviously lacking of patience. He seized Finn’s arms, opening the padlock and freeing him.

-We don’t have time. We’ll explain on the road.

-The road? What road? I’m not getting executed?

-Today is your lucky day, the other man commented as he helped Finn get on his feet.

-Who are you guys?

-We are knights of Ren. Our master sent us.

-Aren’t you supposed to wear helmets, or…?

-Wouldn’t be very wise for us to leave your cell with our masks on, don’t you think?

-Right, right. So, is this real? Like, really real?

-I don’t know, you tell me, the youngest one said while pinching Finn hard, which made Finn yelp in surprise.

-Come on, Jeha, let’s go, whispered the other, seemingly more reasonable knight.

***********************************************

As Kylo and Leia descended the hard-stone stairs, they came across Armitage Hux. Hopefully he had not overheard any of their plotting. However, Leia did not appear unsettled by this sudden meeting. -Your Grace, Hux said. -Armitage, Leia greeted him, Do you know where I could find your father? I would like to have a word with him. -He is getting ready in his chamber. I don’t think it’s a good idea to interrupt him, he hates delaying executions. -Man needs his morning kill, Kylo grumbled. Armitage acknowledged him with an icy look. -I still have to check on the prisoner before his big moment, but I am HIGHLY interested in your thoughts, Ren. Please, share them with me while we dine. After we made the bastard hang, of course. Armitage then left with a sneer. A frustrating habit of his, Kylo noticed. Mother and Son shared a look and smiled.

-He’s going to be HIGHLY disappointed.

-Let us move on, we have an execution to attend. She offered her arm, he gladly took it and they walked triumphantly despite the pouring rain. Meanwhile Armitage, accompanied by Phasma and two of his men, went to the dungeon.

When he found the empty cell, the ginger felt as if his own execution had come. To the soldiers with him, he abruptly ordered:

-Don’t let my father know. Prepare the horses and come with me. We are hunting the poacher.

***********************************************

Half an hour passed without a sign of his son. Brendol Hux was not pleased. He was even less pleased with the weather. He hadn’t foreseen the storm coming, but the signs were now there. Things had not gone the way he wanted. He had planned to hang that man by now. Although some people (Leia Ren) might not like it, Brendol did not need anyone’s approval to kill as he pleased. But now there was this storm, and his son’s disappearance, and Leia Ren looked pleased with the whole situation. He could see it in her eyes. As everyone was waiting in front of the scaffold, he could see that she was up to something. She looked too pleased. He would do anything to make all smugness disappear from her face. He pictured her, hanging up there, and that was a pleasant vision. You wouldn’t be the first woman to be hanged, sweetheart. If Armitage was here, he could testify. Don’t think you’re above my justice.

Definitely losing patience, Brendol left to the dungeon only to make the most upsetting discovery. My bastard has failed me once again, but for once he is not the only one to blame.

Back at the scaffold, under the downpour, Brendol Hux gave the order to his knights.

-I command you to arrest the traitor, Leia Ren!

Kylo immediately shouted:

-You ARE NOT going near her!

Brendol’s knights drew their swords, as did did Kylo and his own. He was not afraid to take them on―they vanquished more terrible opponents before.

-Surely, we can all discuss this calmly, Leia said peacefully.

-We will have all the time in the world to discuss after you are behind bars, whore.

Brendol went too far for Kylo. The Ren descendant slayed the closest knight to him with a circular slash.The first blood made people scream in the audience. Ironically, those who had gathered to see a man hang feared the impending bloodshed and they they fled the area promptly.

The wind was still furiously blowing.

A battle was about to begin.

[sneezehq]

I request a trans Yuri sick fic (feel free to reject) Suppose Viktor had to do a thing and Yurio was stuck with Yuuri for some reason. Yurio thinks he has a simple stomach bug (some emeto pls) but later escalates into ending up to be something hospital-level serious. And Yuuri takes him. Only to find out via hospital records that biologically, Yurio is actually a girl. Not that it makes Yuuri feel any different toward Yurio. -Homura (sorry if that made no sense. English isn't my main language)

Your English is great! This is my first time trying to write a trans character, so I hope I did a good job! Please don’t crucify me if I made a mistake; gentle criticism is okay. Enjoy!

Day 26: Say It Ain’t So, Doc!

“Now, you two don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone,” Victor says lightly. He’s traveling to Moscow for a meeting with some sponsors, leaving Yuuri and Yuri to fend for themselves. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Without looking up from his game, Yuri responds, raising an eyebrow. “We wouldn’t want to anything you would do, either. Remember that time you and Chris decided to go caroling in the middle of July?”

“We were drunk!” Victor protests, his voice going an octave higher. “Anyway, the point is, you two have fun while I’m gone, but not too much fun, okay?”

He gives Yuuri a peck on the cheek and attempts to hug Yuri goodbye, but the teenager dodges out of the way just in time, rolling his green eyes in annoyance. “Bye! See you in three days!”

“Goodbye, Victor!” Yuuri calls after him before the door shuts. Yuri waves halfheartedly before stalking off to his room, muttering under his breath about how sappy those two are and how disgusting it is. Yuuri just assumes that he’s in a bad mood today.

Truthfully, Yuri hasn’t been feeling very well at all since he woke up. He’s nauseous and his stomach has been cramping all morning-it’s either some sort of a mild stomach bug or a sign of his period coming soon (joy!). Either way, hopefully some sleep will help. He’ll probably wake up in the morning feeling way better.

It only takes a few hours to realize how horribly wrong he is.

Yuri is jolted awake out of a dead sleep by a feeling of overwhelming nausea. He scrambles out of bed, his limbs tangling in the sheets as he attempts to make a mad dash to the bathroom. He doesn’t make it to the toilet in time; instead, he hunches over the sink as his entire frame trembles with a deep gag. Within seconds of being awake he’s heaving up what seems like an endless stream of bile.

He retches and gags for what seems like an eternity before he’s finally empty, reduced to painful dry heaves that scrape out his throat and make his eyes water. His knees buckle and send him crashing to the floor-he can feel cold sweat trickling down his neck as he attempts to get his breathing under control.

The cramping is worse than before; a sharp pain that feels like knives are stabbing into the lower right side of his stomach. He’s aware that something is really wrong, and that he should definitely call for help, but he doesn’t have the energy or the strength to try. Instead, he squeezes his eyes shut against the tears that threaten to fall and breathes shakily, trying to make the pain go away through sheer willpower.

Yuuri can’t believe that it took less than 24 hours for something to go horribly wrong.

A sensation similar to icy fingers making their way up and down his spine has him sitting bolt upright in bed. He squints at the clock, confused when it reads 3:13 AM. Why is he even awake?

There’s an uneasy feeling deep in his gut; something is horribly wrong. Yuuri moves without making any conscious decision about where to go, making his way down the hallway and into the shared bathroom. His unease gets stronger as he pushes open the door. It’s unlocked.

Inside, Yuri is sprawled out on the floor, curled into the fetal position, unconscious, his face pinched with pain. His face is deathly pale and there are dried tear tracks on his face. Yuuri freezes, horrified, until a weak, pained groan from Yuri sets him into action.

Somehow he manages to find his phone and call an ambulance. While he relays the situation to the emergency center, he threads his fingers through Yuri’s hair, squeezing the younger skater’s hand occasionally. Yuri doesn’t respond except to occasionally shift his position or let out a moan of pain.

The ride to the hospital is a blur; Yuuri doesn’t remember much from it besides the original diagnosis of “appendicitis” and the call to the hospital to prep for surgery.

When they arrive at the hospital, Yuri is whisked away for surgery and Yuuri is sent to wait in the waiting room and given a pile of paperwork to fill out. He’s never been so grateful for his Russian lessons that he took in college as he does his best to provide the requested information and sign off wherever signatures are required. One thing is bothering him, though.

“Why does it say that Yuri is female on his medical records?” Yuuri asks the desk attendant, frowning and squinting at the aforementioned files.

She takes the paper and takes a look for herself. “Yuri Plisetsky, is it?” Yuuri nods. “Yes, we’ve been meaning to correct that, but the paperwork must not have gone through yet. I’ll let them know about that,” she says, jotting a note down on a slip of paper. “Is that all?” she asks, looking at Yuuri expectantly.

He hastily nods and steps back to his mountain of forms, hastily scribbling down the last few bits of information that he needed. It makes sense, in a way; Yuri’s resistance to being seen as cute or beautiful, his reluctance to go in the public baths in Hasetsu, and his insistence on being called Yuri instead of Yurio. He feels a pang of guilt and makes a note to himself to only call Yuri by his given name since it bothers him so much. No more Yurio.

After finishing the rest of the paperwork, Yuuri waits around for another hour before a nurse comes out to talk to him. “The surgery was a success,” she announces. “Yuri is in stable condition and resting. He’s doing much better now, and he should be able to go home in a few days.”

“That’s good to hear,” Yuuri sighs in relief. “Can I see him?”

“Of course. I’ll show you to his room. He should be waking up soon.”

Sure enough, within minutes of arriving at Yuri’s hospital room, the teenager is stirring awake with a groan. His green eyes flicker open slowly, darting around the room before finding Yuri. “’m in a hospital?” he asks groggily. Yuuri nods, and he groans in response.

“You were very sick. I called an ambulance and they found that you had appendicitis, and they took you to the hospital to have it removed.”

“I hate hospitals,” Yuri mutters petulantly, sounding a bit more awake now. “When can I get out of this place?” he demands, folding his arms carefully across his chest to avoid tugging on the IV.

“Well the surgery went well and I got all the paperwork filled out, so as long as you rest,” Yuuri explains, emphasizing the word rest. “You should be able to go home in a few days.”

Yuri lets out a huff of displeasure at the “few days” part, but then his eyes widen at something else that Yuuri said. “Y-you filled out my paperwork?” he asks, sounding uncertain.

“I did,” Yuuri says, looking Yuri right in the eyes. This changes nothing, he tries to communicate silently. I still see you the exact same way. “Now, you’d better get some rest. I told Victor about what happened, and he’s going to come home soon as he can. He’s been very worried about his son, you know.” This time, Yuuri puts special emphasis on the word son, hoping that he can get the message across. Judging by the way Yuri’s face softens slightly, he thinks that Yuri got it. “He keeps texting me for updates.”

“That geezer is not my father,” Yuri complains, a hint of a smile forming on his lips before he ducks behind his long blonde bangs, embarrassed. “And I’m bored! Can’t I at least watch TV or something?”

Yuri is going to be just fine.

[gryffvndors]

uncommon alliances [draco malfoy]

request:  “ wowowow ive only read one of things youve written (idk if youve written more but still) and i already love your writing, since you taking requests, can you do something with the reader being rons twin sister and draco is interested™ in her and pansy is like wingwoman as fuck, but not to draco, to the reader, like theyre lowkey friends, you can take it where ever after those things tho.. thank you ❤️” - @reading-vs-reality

word count: ~1800

a/n: awww, thanks!! sorry this was sitting in my inbox for so long! i got a lil carried away with the “reader is ron’s twin” part and wrote tons (like 5000 words worth) of domestic relationship building between reader, ron, hermione, harry and ginny / the background between pansy and reader’s friendship. it might be posted later if i feel like it, but for now, this is what you got! thanks for reading and sorry if this isn’t what you wanted!

summary: sitting around a table in hogsmeade is the best place to find out secrets. also, reverse psychology ALWAYS works on a slytherin.

part zero

“So, Weasley,” Pansy smirks, leaning forward to tap your knee. “Who do you fancy?”

You look up from your mug of butterbeer, eyes narrowed. You’re sitting with a group of Slytherin girls - Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Daphne Greengrass. The four of you are circled around a table in the Three Broomsticks, hands wrapped around mugs of butterbeer. You yearn for these Hogsmeade moments - you can be someone else, someone other than the stereotypical “Gryffindor Weasley” you’re expected to be.

You don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea; you love your group. Harry is your best friend, Hermione is a goddess, and your brother - well, he’s your twin brother. Sometimes, though, you feel suffocated by the pressure. Harry Potter’s inner group, a Weasley, looked down upon for the hand-me-down robes and red hair and a Gryffindor in Harry’s year, friendly with the Chosen One himself. Hogsmeade allows you to hook up with your other friends, the ones your main friend group would have a fit over if they found you fraternizing with. Especially Pansy Parkinson - she hasn’t exactly been nice to them. She’s actually quite an interesting friend. Hanging out with her and the others proves to be a vast learning experience. For one, Pansy, while rude, is quite funny when prompted. Daphne Greengrass is sweet and Millicent is so daft, it’s laughable.

“Who do I fancy?” You repeat over a sip of your butterbeer. “I don’t fancy anybody.”

Daphne smiles, nudging your side. “You have to have your eye on somebody. Come on, not even a guilty pleasure?”

“Like who? Daph, who’s your guilty pleasure?” You lean forward on your elbows, smirking into her green eyes. Daphne turns a deep red and hides her face behind perfectly manicured nails.

“I… okay, if I tell you, you cannot tell him! Any of you - you can’t say a word! I haven’t told anybody but Astoria,” she presses her lips together in a thin line, looking between the rest of you. “And you have to tell me yours!”

You roll your eyes. Honestly, you hate boy talk. Sitting around with other girls and discussing the physical appearance of the male species has never been up your alley. You’d rather be out doing something. You don’t know if it’s the Gryffindor in you, or maybe the Weasley - possibly both - but you hate sitting around talking. That’s one reason why you love hanging around with Harry, Ron and Hermione: there’s never a dull moment.

Slytherins, though, never seem to tire of sitting around and talking. Mainly shit, but they do get around to other topics. You’d expected the cattiness from them.

“Okay, Daphne, sure,” you sigh, sitting back and crossing your arms across your chest. The blonde seems awfully nervous; you assume it’s somebody in Gryffindor. If he was anything other than Gryffindor, the girl wouldn’t be as reluctant to spill the secret.

You’re right - Daphne stutters out a, “Ha-Harry Potter,” and waits for the incoming onslaught. All you do is snort, rolling your eyes.

“Harry is attractive,” you muse, pursing your lips. Everyone looks at you, eyes wide. “What? He is. You lot may hate him, but you have to agree he’s attractive.”

“...Fine,” Pansy mutters. “He’s a little attractive. But I would never do anything with him.”

You shrug. “Me neither. He’s like my brother.”

Millicent pipes up, “Your brother is cute, too.”

Now you shiver in disgust. Turning to the Slytherin, you sigh, shaking your head. “Millie, Millie, Millie… never say that in my presence ever again. It’s bad enough hearing that from Lavender Brown with Hermione sulking in the background. The sexual tension between them is insane, but you didn’t hear it from me,” you pause. “Oh, right, right. Well, Draco Malfoy is very pleasing to look at.”

“Draco?” The Slytherins shout. Pansy laughs, running a hand through her hair. “Funny you should mention that.”

“Why?”

The door behind you swings open. Entering the establishment is a trio of boys; all three tall and skinny, one pale, one tan, and one dark.

“Hello, Draco, Theo, and Blaise,” Pansy makes eye contact with you before smirking and twisting in her seat to face the boys. “Cold?”

“A bit,” answers Malfoy, surveying the table. When his eyes fall on you, the corners of his mouth turn down. “What’s she doing, hanging out with you?”

You stare into the silver irises that glare down at you, bringing your cup up to take another sip. Before you can reply with something snarky, Daphne is scoffing. “Don’t be so rude, Draco. She’s our friend.”

“Yeah,” Millie chimes in.

Pansy looks between the two of you and clears her throat. “Draco,” she says sweetly, resting her head in her hand, “are you busy right now?”

Malfoy, not breaking eye contact, grunts, “Does is look like I’m busy?”

“I wouldn’t know, you’re just standing there having eye sex with Weasley.”

You choke on your butterbeer, mid-sip. As you’re coughing, Millie leans over and whispers into your ear, “There’s something I never thought I’d hear.” You only choke even harder.

Malfoy’s gaze snaps to Pansy. He turns bright red, mumbling, “Don’t be daft. I… was not having eye sex with Weasley.”

“Good. So you can walk her back to Hogwarts?”

“What?” The two of you chorus.

Pansy nods. “She’s feeling a bit ill. Doesn’t want to walk alone. The girls and I have shopping to do. Will you walk her back?”

“What? No! She’s a Weasley!”

“She’s my friend, Draco. And you owe me. Walk her back to the castle.”

Malfoy groans, but steps back to mutter something to Nott and Zabini; they slap his shoulder, grinning. “I’ll be outside,” he mumbles, pushing the door open and leaving. You get up and follow. Pansy pulls you back, your ear close to her mouth.

“He thinks you’re very good-looking as well. Have fun!” Smirking, she shoves you away, wiggling her fingers. You glare as you bid good-bye to the rest of your friends.

Outside, Malfoy leans against the brick wall, arms folded. At your exit, he pushes off and waits for you to catch up before continuing onward. You shove your hands in your pockets (you were an idiot and forgot to wear mittens and your scarf, for Merlin’s sake) and jog to keep pace.

“So is this a ruse to bother me, or do you genuinely feel ill?” Asks Draco. You glance up at him, a smile finding its way onto your lips. Your stomach does a little jump when you catch him glancing down for a split second, so fast you think you might’ve imagined it.

“Oh, it’s definitely a ruse,” you reply, nodding. “Pansy went along with it. She thought, ‘I’m going to irritate Malfoy today,’ and bam, here we are.”

He scowls, looking away. “Why were you, of all people, with them?”

“Sometimes it’s nice to get away from Harry’s drama.”

“Who would’ve thought Potter attracts goddamn drama,” Draco snaps.

You shrug, “They’re a fun lot to be with sometimes, when they’re not fawning over boys. That gets a bit annoying,” you side-glance him, and blurt out before you can change your mind, “That’s why we’re in this situation, anyway. Bloody boy talk.”

Draco stops moving. You turn, raising your brows. He retorts, “This situation? What do you mean, Weasley?”

You roll your eyes and huff out, “Daphne admitted her crush for Harry Potter in return for my ‘secret crush,’” you make air quotes, “so I told the table I think you’re attractive. Pansy is obviously playing wing-man. Pulled me aside and told me how you also find me pretty,” smirking, you roll back and forth on your feet, listening to the crunching snow, “is that true?”

Draco’s cheeks turn pink again. It’s a good look for him; gives him a bit of color, evens out the pale skin. “Why would I find a blood traitor like you pretty?”

“Wo-hoa!” You hold up your hands in surrender, taking a step back. “No need to get so malicious! I happen to find a bigot like you attractive. Even though you’re rude and like to insult me and my family,” you frown. “If you don’t want to walk me all the way to the castle, then don’t. Leave. Go back to the Three Broomsticks. I am heading back to the castle, for I have an essay due tomorrow for Ancient Runes that I haven’t finished.”

You turn around and start stomping away. You walk alone for a good few minutes, refusing to look back. Finally, you hear crunching behind you. Malfoy catches up and falls into step with you, pouting. “There’s no need to bring out your Weasley anger.”

“There’s a hell of a lot more anger where that came from, Malfoy.”

He huffs. “Fine. I find you… pretty. But nothing between us would ever work out.”

“True,” you agree. “I’m a Weasley, and you’re a Malfoy. Our parents hate each other.”

“You’re a Gryffindor, and I’m a Slytherin.”

“Your father nearly killed my little sister a few years ago.”

“Your best friend is my worst nemesis and I call your brother ‘Weasel’ on a daily basis.”

“Our children would either be dreadfully pale with bright orange hair, or be freckled and tan with white-blonde hair.”

Draco snorts. “That is a fashion statement.”

You nod, giggling. “You’re probably not even a good kisser, anyway. I broke up with Seamus Finnigan because he isn’t a good kisser. I need good snogging in my life.”

Draco stops again. “I am a good kisser!”

You shrug. “I dunno, doesn’t look like you’d be one.”

“...Is this reverse psychology? Because if it is, it’s definitely working.”

You grin, turning around. He’s a lot closer than you imagined; your chests are nearly touching. “It’s working? Blimey, I don’t think it is. I’m still ta-”

Draco grabs your chin and tilts your head so he has a better angle. He leans down and kisses you, cold lips moving against your own. You grab his jacket and tug. His body collides with yours, but it only makes for better leeway to continue snogging.

You pull away a minute later, cheeks flush. “Okay, okay-” you laugh, “I think you’ve proven me wrong. You’re a good kisser.”

He says, smug, “I know.”

You grab his sleeve and pull on it as you continue walking to make him follow you. “Don’t get too over your head, Malfoy. You’re still a git who thinks you’re better than everyone else.”

“I am better than everyone else, Weasley. At least I actually am better than everyone else, unlike you, who thinks you’re better than everyone else and actually isn’t.”

“We’re a great pair,” you sigh wistfully.

Draco grunts in what you reckon is agreement. You keep on for the castle, his gloved hand in your own bare one. Your other hand is kept in your pocket for warmth. A few minutes into the silence, Draco notices your shivering and takes off his scarf. He drops it around your shoulders until it’s covering your mouth. When you pipe up to thank him, he only mutters, “Don’t.”

You make a mental note to thank Pansy later.