talesfromamisspentyouth

[talesfromamisspentyouth]

SUMMER

In endless summer, when life was safe, I kissed her but it was just to late

[talesfromamisspentyouth]

THE MAGIC MUSHROOMS - part 1

You’ve all heard of them, those mythical mushrooms that transport your consciousness to a different reality. The best part, they are fucking free! That’s right you can just head to a god damn field and pick free drugs? who doesn’t love that? 
 So anyway, being intrepid drugs pioneers we had procured a location, some fucking cow field in the middle of a really posh town in the midlands. We planned the day, took the bus up there and armed ourselves with plastic bags to carry our spoils. 
 After journeying down some country roads, feeling like the Christopher Columbus of psychedelics we arrived at our destination. There was just one problem, the route to this free pharmacy was guarded by the moodiest looking cows I’d ever seen in my fucking life. 
 We were ready to splinter cell our way in, sneak past the danger and make it to the promise land. We jumped the fence and the mission started. Each cow we passed, they fixed an angry gaze on us, as if they knew what we were there for. It was a battle of wills. Eventually we prevailed, making it past the last cow, and into the mushroom field of dreams. 
 Now, this was where we had to get forensic. Liberty Caps are the mushrooms we were looking at. We’d been told they have nipples on the top and a sort of translucent goo that binds them together.  Turns out this is pretty fucking hard to find. We were scanning the floor in the same the way I can imagine those nerds who scan for metal do. 
 Now the old magic mushrooms grow in bunches so once you spot one, you’ll see a few. And soon we struck gold. This place was full of them! we were getting 30 or 40 at a time, it was amazing. Just free drugs everywhere. What a day. We felt like horticulturists. 
 By the time the sun started going down we must have had about 600 between us, it was time to call it a day and go back to my mates house and see what this stuff was all about. The time was probably 7 in the evening when we decided to brew a tea, with about 300 in there. I know now this was a crazy high amount but we were young and it made sense to us. The folly of youth. 
 There was three of us, me, Simon and tez (names changed). Only me and tez partook in the brew. It looked fucking disgusting tbh, with a weird sort of goo at the top, but it was worth it. We had a cupful each and waited. 
 After about an hour things started to change, reality became a distance past and the world stated become this magical place. We could no longer sit in the room, we had to go out and explore. Simon was finding it impossible to contain us we were too fucked. We left his house through the window and started to explore late night suburbia. Everything had a surreal edge, a magical quality that was intoxicating. Many crazy things were happening. I had convinced myself that I was able to bounce off cars with some sort of intense forcefield. Thankfully for me Simon knew I was not, and he saved me from testing this theory. Tez was having the time of his life, a very funny part was when he decided that there were giant polystyrene. These were extremely heavy blocks of concrete. So picking them up was hilarious. Someone remembered that a house nearby had a trampoline. This was just what we needed. We found our way there, hopped the fence and began jumping on the trampoline, at the bottom of someones garden. Fuck knows what they would have thought,  two lads off their head on magic mushrooms losing their mind on a trampoline. As soon as this became not as fun we bailed and began to head home
 The rest of the night is somewhat of a blur but i can safely say we had a ridiculously good time. I remember thinking we had stumbled upon lifes great secret somehow. The key to existence. Maybe we did.

[talesfromamisspentyouth]

I took a pill in ibiza

Ever felt the joy of youthful wonderment? That feeling you get stepping off the plane in a foreign country, when the sun hits you? That feeling is inescapably good, and I’ve been chasing it my entire life.  This is a story about one such occasion, one holiday, and one fucking strong pill. We’d been in Ibiza about 4 days, it was our first holiday away from our parents. We were seasoned drug users by this point, and what other place to visit than the mecca? We had hit it hard most nights but we were showing no signs of slowing up, especially on my mate’s birthday. 
 So far the clubs hadn’t really been our scene, we were into hard beats, not balearic bullshit, it was too slow, too posery, too soft. The clubs were packed with guys with terrible clothes, too smashed for their own good. We spent most of our time at the bars, and then back to our hotel room for the post session. 
 Anyway, it was my mate let’s call hi ‘Steve’s” birthday so we were going out no matter what. There was three of us so it kind of made for a bit of an awkward dynamic, but we were managing. Me and Steve decided we would hit up a super club I forget the name but it has a fucking massive observatory on the top level. These clubs sort of melt into one after a while. We had pre drinks, negotiated the lines :) and made our way into the club. It was the same old thin, shit music, guys who engage non shit banter, and just overall a bit of a miserable experience.  Michael (friend three) didn’t want to be there any more, so he left and me and Steve were sat miserably in said auditorium.   Oh, I forgot to mention we had decided we aren’t going to do pills on this night, taking a break. So we are sat debating when to go home when a character comes looming into our conversation. He looked like a cross between a cockney villain and someone out of Oliver Twist.   “ Do you want to buy any pills?” Strange man said

“Uhh, not sure, uh not really “ I answered.

Steve nudged me and made the case that It was his birthday and it would be the right thing to do, we would only do one. Reluctantly I agreed.

“Okay then can we just get two?” I said.

“ 20 euros” the man said

“Okay”

We paid the guy and got the pills. As he was about to leave, he looked at us and said:

“These are the best pills on the island, running men”

Sure, I thought, they all fucking say that, every pill is the best pill ever. We necked the pills with a luekwarm shite bottle of overpriced water and waited. Then we waited some more, and then some more. These weren’t working they must be a dud.  Fuck this we thought, and decided to leave . As we were making our way outside to the humid night air, I started to feel some panic setting in. I was more than used to coming up, so I was not massively worried but out just began snowballing. The more it went on the worse I felt. This was bad. I became convinced I was going to die.

As you can imagine this was a terrible feeling,, I began to freak out. I kept picturing the guys face, he’d stitch us up, I was sure of it. He’d fucking killed me. I could picture my mum finding out, the headlines back at home. I had to tell my mate.

“Listen mate I’m gonna die, those are dodgy pills, my liver is gonna fail “

It’s hard to convey the terror you feel in a situation like that, it was horrific. I knew there was no way out of it, I’d taken the pill it was too late, this was how I was gonna die. I was a mess by now, we were waiting for a bus home and my mate was trying to keep me calm.

It must have been about half an hour, then something really strange happened. It was almost like instantly the fear disintegrated and I was completely sober. I felt literally nothing. This was a fucking joyous feeling for me, I was alive. I told my mate and he said he had been thinking the exact same stuff but I was freaking out so he didn’t want to freak  out as well, as it would have gotten even worse. The bus pulled up and I was so fucking glad to be going back to the hotel, though there were no seats so we had to sit on the floor on the back on the bus. There was a rowdy group of dick heads behind singing football songs but I was trying to ignore it. We weren’t really talking too much just trying to piece together what happened and what would have been in the pills. Maybe they were a dud. Then something fucking strange happened. I got this jolt of a rush. Now, I’m not talking about a standard feeling from a pill, I’m talking it was as if God himself had lit up[ every synapse in my being and I was sitting in Nirvana. It was completely absurd. I immediately told my mate what was happening and he agreed, they were starting to kick in. This was not the result I was expecting. I had come to terms with these pills being a dud, and surviving the death, but now, fucking hell. Fuck this was the best feeling I’d ever had in my entire life. My body was washing with waves of euphoria, warm loving feelings were permeating every part of my body. This was ecstasy as I understood it. It’s so hard to put into words just how good this feeling is. It’s a feeling you then want to chase for your entire life, its that good. The bus journey didn’t even seem real, I don’t remember how we knew what stop to get off at. I just remember we did get off the bus. We were locked in conversation in that insanely appeasing way that pills do. It was justo important.  The excitement was off the scale, we couldn’t believe we had actually had the best pill on the island. How had this happened?? Divine intervention. My body was rushing everywhere, I’d never felt this good in my life, pulsating rays of contentment were splashing around my body. I felt alive, I felt one. We had struggled to find out hotel the whole time we had been in San Antonio, relying on Michael to get us where we needed to be. This time however it was like we connected to some shared universal GPS, we chatted and chatted, but neither of us spoke a single work about what turn to take or where we were going, but somehow we arrived at our destination. This was when we saw a figure merging from the morning sun, jaw swinging wildly. In pixelated vision we couldn’t quite work out who it was. Then as they approached we realised it was Michael, and he was just as off his head as us. This was incredible. We regaled him the story of the running man, the greatest pill known to man. He listened but I don’t think he understood.

We spent the rest of the morning sipping red wine with a random girl we met and watching the ocean. Nights don’t get much better than this. I miss being young, I miss being happy, I miss Ibiza.