#from this and some secret other thing that Doc knows must have happened but that Xisuma never seems interested in talking about

[shepscapades]

X isn’t big on hugs, but Doc does what he can. It’s the little things that help.

[scribbling-dragon]

as promised,, here's the few headcanons I've currently got bouncing around in my docs/notes!

- BigB was slightly changed by his time in the mesa. not changed in the same way other people have been by the Games, but just enough to be noticeable. his feet don't make a sound, even when other's do. when he walks over sand, or snow, or freshly turned dirt, he leaves no footprints behind, as though he was never there in the first place. When you turn your head away from him, enough that you can barely see him from the corner of your eye, he changes. his limbs are out of proportion and nothing seems Quite Right. when you look back, everything is normal. there is no hole in the mesa.

- martyns a fucken cat. half of the time he looks as though he's just walked through the worst rainstorm in the world, even if it's currently sunny.

- do not approach the secret keeper just before dawn. It does things then that are only barely veiled beneath the darkness. if you look closely, you may see Its assistant (though perhaps that "assisstant" is the true mastermind).

- no-one's wounds are healing. they may eventually stop bleeding, so the players do not die of blood loss (a slow, creeping death may bring with it lots of dread, but it leaves a sour aftertaste for whoever consumes it), but the wounds remain gaping open.

- leading on from the previous one: martyn may have died, but some are secretly jealous that he is no longer walking around with open wounds. others are simply glad that they do not have to try and find an unmarred piece of skin to look at while they talk to him anymore.

- their secret tasks are each given to them in a small book, one that they must keep on their person at all times. with these books came personalised little holders for each player, so they can have it resting at their hip for easy access. these "book holsters" are just large enough for the book and nothing else. these holsters cannot be burned or damaged or destroyed in any way. whoever made them must have known the players well, with all the small hints to their personality within the design.

- skizz was the first to discover that you could additionally customise the book holsters, as he was doodling "Love Island" onto it to see if the alliance name would stick. it did, and others began writing their own alliance names on it, sitting and customising their holsters together so they could all match.

- jimmys "book holster" has a rather unique design compared to everyone else's. his holster is visibly falling apart, deteriorating throughout the day. only once he manages to complete his task does his holster get restored to its original condition, though with gold stitching highlighting where it has been pieced back together. he does not know what will happen if his holster falls apart completely (he's not sure he wants to know).

[elysianfieldsarchive]

For the fifth year, we are excited to announce the Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange!

That’s great! Except I have a question: What the heck is the Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange?

Ahh, glad you asked, friend. The Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange is our final event of the year. The how is simple: sign up to give a fanwork gift, and receive a fanwork gift!

If you’ve never taken part before, or if you need a reminder, here’s how it works: 

Everyone who signs up to participate will create one fanwork (a fic or a piece of art) and receive one fanwork. (You can opt out of giving and/or receiving art in the Google form if you’re only interested in giving and/or receiving written fic). Each fic MUST be a “one-shot” (a complete work, posted in full, within a single chapter). This means the word count MAX for written fic is 15,000. There is no word count minimum��so long as you have satisfied at least one of your giftee's requests in the story.

So a one-and-done fic or piece of artwork that is complete at the time of posting?

Yes!

And fic can’t be more than 15k words?

Correct!

Though, please note that 15,000 words is defined as how our software tracks word counts. Unfortunately, predicting that is a bit nebulous as every writing program defines words differently. In fact, there’s a difference between our textbox counter and the official site word count because sometimes we just can’t have nice things. Suffice it to say, there may be word count discrepancies between Google Docs, MS Word, or other programs. Ultimately, it’s every participant’s job to make sure that your story fits. If your fic is approaching the limit, we recommend leaving ample time for edits to make sure you can post correctly and before the deadline.

So we know the word count max; what’s the word count minimum?

There is no word count minimum for this event. All we ask is that all works be created with care and fit with your giftee’s requests. Some people want a lot of words to do this, and others can make magic with just a few (or none, in the case of art!). We trust our members to be thoughtful when creating gifts for one another.

You mentioned artwork. What if I want to make sure I get a fic, not art?

You can opt-in/out of receiving art on the form.

Since this is a Christmas-themed event, does my gift need to be Christmas-themed?

Nope! But if your giftee requests a holiday-themed work, definitely consider it.

Do we get pretties?

Of course! What’s an EF event without pretties? And because we’ve streamlined crediting, ALL AWARDS ARE UP FOR GRABS. Author, artist, beta/sensitivity reader, and commenter. 

How do I get an author award?

Create a work for the event that is either entirely word-based (fic) or fits our narrative artwork definition.

Can I work with someone else on my event response?

We do not allow co-authored stories for this event, as it would make it too hard to match people. Artists can collaborate with an author by providing art for their story, however, as one way to receive the artist award.

How do I get an artist award?

Create a story banner for someone else’s Santa work, contribute artwork to a Santa work, or create artwork for your giftee.

How do I get a beta/sensitivity reader award?

Help a creator out by providing feedback on their work in progress. You can volunteer to beta or sensitivity read on our Discord server, or create a beta profile.

How do I get a commenter award?

Leave a minimum of 15 comments comprised of at least 15 words over the course of the event. These comments do not need to be on event submissions but can be left on any fanwork on the site.

I’ve signed up! What happens now?

Once you complete the form, the Mods will work together to make best case matches from all of the responses and then reach out to each participant with the penname and fanwork preferences of their giftee. Please remember that this gift-giving is confidential. Don’t share who you have for a giftee until you post your fic! 

Work together to keep the SECRET in SECRET SANTA.

Can anyone participate?

Unlike other EF events, we do have restrictions on participation.

Any member, whether they've previously written a fic on EF or not, is eligible to partake in this event––UNLESS you signed up for last year’s Secret Santa event and did not complete your fic or did not complete your fic by the deadline. Those members will have already been notified (at the end of last year’s event) and will not be eligible to participate this year, but may participate again in 2025.

Please note that bad behavior toward your gifter or giftee, regarding either the gift you receive or the gift you deliver, will result in a permanent ban from this event for all future years. We wish we didn’t have to say it, but we do.

We hate leaving anyone out, but since the spirit of this event is gift-giving and impacts other members, we take sign-ups very seriously. Everyone who decides to participate should both give AND RECEIVE a gift.

What if I sign up in good faith but something comes up?

We understand life happens. All participants who have yet to post their gifts will receive an email on or around December 15 to confirm their intent to complete. If you must drop out, please inform the Mods before this date. This will give our Rescue Writers/Artists time to swoop in.

Dropping out DOES mean you won’t be able to participate next year, but we’d rather know so we can make contingencies than have someone go giftless. If you do not communicate with us at all regarding dropping out, you will be banned from participating in all future Secret Santa exchanges.

I want to make sure everyone gets a gift, regardless. How can I help? / You mentioned Rescue Writers/Artists. What are those?

Rescue writers/artists are members who sign up to help out just in case someone is unable to complete their work. If someone drops out, we may reach out to see if you can help make sure their giftee doesn’t go empty-handed.

What if I am paired with the same person as last year/year’s past?

Hopefully, this won’t be an issue; we will do everything possible to avoid pairing repeats. That said, it might be that your best match is someone you were previously paired with. People who were previously paired were paired because their wants-to-receives and willing-to-creates were in harmony. If that hasn’t changed, then it could be you are again the ideal creator/recipient for someone you were paired with in the past.

Anything else?

Just one thing. Please thank your gifter when they publish the gift they make for you. Sometimes we get gifts that don’t live up to our expectations, but they were still made with enthusiasm, love, and a love of our community.

We take this very seriously. Bad behavior toward your gifter or giftee, in regards to either the gift you receive or the gift you deliver, will result in a permanent ban from this event for all future years. If there is an issue, let the Mods know.

Okay, so what are the dates?

Important Dates:

November Now-17: Signup to participate in the 2024 Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange 

November 22-23: Assignments Distributed

December 1: Posting begins!

December 15: Your drop-out deadline

December 31, 11:59 pm, site time: All gifts must be posted. 

No late sign-ups or publishing will be allowed.* Leaving a participant giftless will make Spuffy deeply sad, and we can’t have that. It will also result in ineligibility from participating in Secret Santa for at least one year. (A one-year ban if you don’t post but at least tell us, or a lifetime ban from participating if we never hear from you.)

*If you miss the deadline to post, please still send your gift, just be aware that it won’t officially count toward the event. And—we cannot stress this enough—keep the mods informed about your gift.

Any questions? Email us or comment!

And in case you missed it: HERE'S WHERE YOU SIGN UP FOR THE 2024 ELYSIAN FIELDS SECRET SANTA FANWORK EXCHANGE

[violet-fire-cat]

👀

Been meaning to do another of these for a few days and finally got around to it! Another 👀 ask, another AU!

Let's see... Today I'm gonna go with ~

Prince and his Guard AU For lack of a better name, because I'm awful at names pfft. Royal aus are done a lot, I know, but this ones mine! Actually based on another AU I did for a different fandom ages ago, but then reworked for different characters pfft I hope you're ready for more Ethubs nonsense from me, because that's what this is. (There's Rendoc crumbs too, though it's only mentioned briefly here.)

Anyway! Bdubs is a prince of a small kingdom somewhere. He's not the heir to the throne or anything like that, but he's still pretty important. For the most part though he's not too fussed about royal duties. He'd much rather be caring for the horses at the stables or tending to or sketching the beautiful plants in the palace gardens.

Etho works for the royal guard and has done for quite some time. He's a skilled swordsman and well respected amongst his peers. One day, he's given a new assignment and is placed as Bdubs' personal guard. His job is to accompany Bdubs when he's out and about, and of course to keep him safe should anything happen. Not that he's in any immediete danger, but he is a prince so it's needed!

Bdubs has had personal guards before, some he's liked, others he hasn't. With Etho he's- not sure what he thinks at first. Etho is quiet and hiding half his face behind a mask. He's polite though, just- different. Bdubs tries to befriend him from early on, but that's easier said than done when the guy doesn't talk much.

Gradually though, as they become more familiar with each other they do start to become friends. They find that they have things in common (a love for horses and riding being one of them) and they get along well. It's not long before they're starting to like each other more than they probably should. But neither of them really acknowledge it yet.

Bdubs realises he's got a crush first. Etho is always hiding his face, but Bdubs still thinks he's beautiful. He's kind and nice to talk to as well, Bdubs likes being around him.

Etho comes to terms with it much slower, and refuses to accept it when he does have that realisation. He can't have a crush on the prince are you insane!! Beef, who works in the palace kitchens and is friends with Etho, tells him that falling for the prince is a bad idea. Etho says that yes, he knows, he didn't do it on purpose!

For a while they just sort of admire each other from a distance. A romance between them is not allowed. Their relationship must remain platonic. They would both get in so much trouble if they tried anything more.

Bdubs, however, decides one day that he doesn't care. Screw it! He really likes Etho! So he's gonna flirt with him! Subtly, of course, just in case. Etho doesn't notice it straight away, and when he does he tries to ignore it. But he's blushing at how sweet Bdubs is being. He should tell him to stop but he can't. And eventually he does recupricate. It can be their little secret ~

And that is preciesly what it is. What it must be. A secret. No one can know. It stays in the privacy of Bdubs' quarters. But they love each other. They're happy with their secret forbidden romance ~

Until things change, anyway. Bdubs is told that he has been betrothed to the prince of another kingdom. A man he's only met like, once, very briefly, years ago. Bdubs isn't happy. Mostly because he's in love with Etho but also just because he doesn't want to get married! Unfortunatly, though, there's not much he can do, and soon plans for him to meet his new fiance properly are made.

The new fiance is Doc, who doesn't particularly want to get married to some guy he barely knows either. Still, when he meets Bdubs he's polite and they chat. They get along fine, and are both able to admit to each other that getting married isn't exactly something they want to do. But their families are the ones in control here, so all they can do is make the most of it.

Etho, meanwhile, meets Ren, who is one of Doc's guards. And they talk idly between themselves whilst their respective princes meander through the gardens in conversation. Ren susses out Etho's affections for Bdubs pretty much straight away. Etho denies it, but as far as Ren is concerned it's very obvious.

With the engagement quickly becoming public knowledge and Bdubs' life suddenly becoming much busier, Etho pulls back from Bdubs a bit. He's still doing his work of course, but keeps outside interactions to a minimum. Bdubs is getting married. So that means that their romance needs to stop. At least, that's how Etho sees it. Bdubs notices, of course he does, and he hates the sadness in Etho's eyes, but he isn't sure how to address it.

The wedding is extravegant and beautiful. Bdubs looks stunning all dressed up. Etho wishes he was the one marrying Bdubs, but he knows it's not possible. Bdubs still doesn't really want to get married, he likes Doc just fine, they get along and have become friends, but there's no romance there, neither of them are interested in the other like that. He misses Etho. But he thinks he knows why Etho has pulled away, and he understands, he hates it, but he understands.

Bdubs and Doc basically spend their honeymoon hanging out as friends, but that suits them fine and they enjoy it. Ren and Etho are often close by. And one evening Ren admits that he knows it sucks, seeing the guy you like getting married to someone else. He's kinda in the same boat, he likes Doc a lot too, but you just kinda have to accept it. You know? Etho knows that Ren is right, but he wishes he wasn't.

It's only so long before Etho and Bdubs come together again. They both know it's stupid, reckless, could get them in so much trouble. But they love each other so much that they can't quite help themselves. It's their secret. But it won't stay secret. People will find out, it'll become the gossip of the palace staff and the royal family alike. Both Etho and Bdubs will be faced with accusations that they hate and that aren't even true. Doc doesn't know what he thinks of it all, but despite everything, when he learns the truth he stands by Bdubs' side throughout.

Everything does work out in the end, but there's some tricky times ahead before any of that can happen..

Oh, you wanted to know exactly how that all goes down? Sorry. I'm trying to limit myself to about 1000 words per au (because otherwise I will unintentionally write thousands and thousands of words) and it seems I've hit that limit here!

I'm a sucker for royalty aus, I don't know why. This one is very fun and another I would like to write some day. We'll have to wait and see though!

There's still a few more of these asks in my inbox, so I'll probably be typing up another one of these posts very soon. In the mean time, if you want to ask questions about my aus please do! Give me even more reason to talk about them pfft

But yeah, thank you for the excuse to ramble! I really want to draw some boys for this au now lol

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Tapering down...

It's no secret on here that I'm a depressed old fuck who's barely surviving. I've been taking two antidepressants for the last few years, Sertraline (Zoloft) and Mirtazipine (Remeron).

I love the Mirtazipine because it helps me fall asleep at night and STAY asleep. Insomnia was one of my main symptoms...for years on end I never strung together more than an hour and a half of sleep at a time. If I take the Mirts right as I'm hittin' the bed, I fall asleep within 20 mins. Those I have no problem with.

Talked to the doc about 6 months ago about tapering down off the max Zoloft dose (150mg/day) and finally getting off them totally. Why? They never really seemed to DO anything. There may have been a slight sense of relief after awhile, but I never really FELT any kind of effect, and no real benefit, other than the possible "I'm taking meds now so I must be getting better" thing you have to tell yourself before they "kick in".

So, I tapered down to just 100mg for a couple months and then took the 50mg's until they were gone. Been completely off them for a few weeks now. Haven't really felt much different, nothing really negative, other than possibly feeling "hopeless" once in a while, which, frankly, anybody in my position WOULD feel.

My reason for writing this out? I never really considered that they might be masking some of my emotional range. After the big news of the day yesterday, after a few hours of sensing the giddiness in the ether, I just started crying. I know that's a perfectly fine reaction to have when something that's been horrible gets RESOLVED, at least on a certain level. It's a release of tension.

But there was more to it. Posted some videos, and listening to all the music, it just made me weep all that much more. And this was genuine grief...grief at the loss of what all those songs represented to me, to my own Personal Mythological Framework, as it were.

And yet, deep down I knew that it wasn't just the loss of The '60s Protest movement, or specifically 1967, The Summer of Love and what IT represents to me.

I think enough of the sertraline has flushed from my system now that my emotional body is releasing pent-up grief. I've written about my two Gemini loves, born a day apart, died nine years apart. That birthday anniversary has always been difficult to get through, but last night's flow of tears finally wound its way to that core pain.

I'm one of those people who has to know WHY.

Once the WHY is satisfied, the letting go can happen.

My last therapist was essentially a Buddhist witch, and I always struggled with what she said about the death(s), but it hit home on a deeper level last night. Her words? Essentially that we have to eventually get enough distance from it and see the "Rightness" of it.

That's a seemingly callous idea, but it's really not.

If someone dies, think of their lives and the trajectory they were on, and the trajectory the world has taken since their death. Eventually there will be a sense of "yes, that somehow HAD to happen for THIS to happen"...a sense of "rightness" in that definition is strange to feel, once you get to it. You may never GET to it...it may always be "THE GREAT WRONG" in your life.

Gemini 1 (my sweetie, my soulmate) died July 15, 2012; Gemini 2 (my bro the soldier) died four days after the January 6th attack, on January 10, 2021. I'm still surrounded by the detritus of both their lives, in my sweetie's case, I have every piece of art she made between Junior College and the day she died. In the case of my Bro, it's all the computer parts and tools and family camping stuff that hasn't seen the light of day in over 20 years.

I know that I've hung onto much of it out of desperation, out of duty and loyalty to their memory, their lives...but it is currently holding me back, and I can feel that. I have to find the stomach to go down to the garage and just start taking pictures of all the tech and camping stuff and being realistically ruthless about what I actually CAN and CAN'T use and hit CL and eBay with whatever might bring a buck.

Up until last night, the idea of that was just too overwhelming. I think last night's emotional release had an effect. Not sure just how any of it is going to happen, but I have to face all that crap down there and get rid of 90%, leaving only Char's artwork and a few tools i can use, and then finding a cheaper storage solution for what's left.

Especially since the evil landlords jacked the rent on the garage up another fucking $25 as of this coming month.

And back to that "Rightness" thing. I finally thought about that in terms of what has happened in the world since they both respectively left. I am certain my sweetie would not believe the shit that has gone on in the last 12 years. I'm pretty sure my bro's poor broken body would not have made it through the ensuing years, especially after that last bizarre injury.

It's a strange thing to see that from the distance of time. And last night's catharsis was certainly tied to it, but I'm sensing there was a component tied to the tapering off the sertraline. No more emotional masking, possibly there will be more peace of mind going forward, I can never be sure, as I pick up just about everything energetically. (Why I have to go "SHIELDS UP, SCOTTY!" while I'm out and about, and self-isolate so much of the time.)

We do have so much to grieve. It never really ends. You have to feel it ALL. You have to release it. You have to see the "rightness" of it when you look at the world in its entirety. The sertraline's masking of the intense sadness finally being gone facilitated the bulk of it, I'm pretty sure.

[cumulonimbuns]

Excuse me a moment for TKSD, as I must scream.

(Pretend there's an 80 line long string of "AAAAAAHH" I don't want to actually fill up the dash with that much junk text)

I love it. Chef's kiss. Beautiful. Sidon my beloved. Link my beloved. Flying dragon breaking out of her mindless state my beloved. Mwah.

I feel it necessary that you are making my polyam partner very, very gooshy about the polyamourous society of Zora you've made. They've been having a rough time with so many "Yona jealous of link and sidon" and "Yona blocks off link from Sidon" shit, and you and the Secret Confessions To a Sage comic by @kenneduck have literally sent them to tears of the happiness of good, easy polyamoury. They've been very gooshy.

And I can't wait to see how Chapter 5 goes. The ending of chapter 4 was soo good, and I loved the entire story. The line in chapter 1 about how Link was a tool to use for the kingdom, not a person that can have desires Mmmmmmmm good shit angst. And the Whole Breakdown was so good and aaaa Link keeps fleeing. And Yona getting right under there and swooping Link out of there I love her. I love what you have done with her. Just. Aaaaah.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I’ll scream for you, no worries lol!

But seriously thanks so much!!!!

And towards your partner, I COMPLETELY understand. I remember finishing TOTK and excitedly running to ao3. Only to see some of the first fics with Yona was just hating on her, or turning her character into a really mean lady who you’re supposed to root against. There’s nothing wrong enjoying your gay ships, but maybe don’t vilify female characters only bc they ‘get in the way’? It reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of my time in the Sonic fandom (I’m still a part of that fandom, always, love that silly blue hedgehog <3), and ppl would do the same to Amy in a lot Sonadow fics. WHICH DROVE ME INSANE.

I will always believe the hc of: wingman Yona, supportive wife Yona, or Poly Yona. They’re all wonderful <3 Just have these bitches love each other. It’s way more fun. I know once I complete TKSD I’d rlly rlly like to write a fic about SidYonZeLink, polyamory relationships are very dear to me, and I love exploring how complicated yet wonderfully caring they can be.

BUT OMG, I ALSO LOVE KENNEDUCK!!!! The Secret Confessions comic is just *chef kiss* GLORIOUS! I’m almost POSITIVE all of ya’ll have seen/read it, but if not—YOU BETTER GO RIGHT NOW AND DO SO!!! Their Yona is also so so so wonderful, she is so soft, and she and Sidon are so soft together. I love it.

I’m excited and nervous for chapter 5! I know a lot of y’all really wanna get to Link, but it felt important to write about the Sage’s to set up a couple of future events. I meant for it to be fairly short and then have a larger section dedicated to when they find Link, but thats… not exactly what happened. Atm the doc is at an even 19k word count (dunno how i managed that), and i still have a decent amount of things to write, SO…. Yeah. A lot of this chapter is really just about the Sages and the Sage’s bonding. If that’s not what you want than you can obviously wait til chapter 6, which spoilers, will be Link’s pov and ONLY about his recovery.

Thanks so much for all your kind words!! I rlly appreciate it <3<3<3

I hope everyone has a lovely day and that you enjoy future chapters and future fics!!

[queer-red-panda]

hey, hear you’re a little, I’m a caretaker for one, any tips?

YES!

always be nice to little one! sometimes things which seem not too bad sound really upsetting!

NAPTIME IS IMPORTANT NO MATTER WHAT (secret: Littles SAY no naps but it means yes pls put me to bed i beg u)

Snacks are good if it is fruits, but sweets onlyyyy on weekends otherwise huge tummy upsets happen :<

It's always good to have some mama/dada time, so COLOURING BOOKS always do the tricks for when cg wants a bit of 'me time'.

Tantrums are inevitable for baby littles especially, so it's important that they're in a quiet environment. Give them a little time to feel feelings but then a hug works for some, other times if you sit and talk to them that works too!

STUFFIES. CAN. MOVE. AND. TALK. If your little says 'teddy did it' then you say 'oh, is that so? then teddy goes in time out' and little will own up! otherwise if they say 'stuffie made this' you agree!

Always keep fidgets, chewies, toys in your purse for them! You never know when an outing might take too long :>

PARK TIMESSSS. Outside play is important a lot!

TV is okay but only for a little time, otherwise it's overstimulating! Shows I recommend are: 1. Doc McStuffins (For ideas to play with stuffies) 2. Bluey (Helps with emotions and keeps baby regulated!) 3. Go Diego Go (ANIMALS!) 4. Mr. Maker (Craft ideas for Cg and Little to do together!)

Cuddles and kisses and snuggles are a must :>

That's all from me!

[muirmarie]

I started to do the thing I like to do where I write a couple rough sketches of a story I want to find the shape of but not actually write? And then it got too long????

Anyway the gist of it was (tw: consent issues/dub-cob) st:tos triumvirate (kirk/bones/spock)

due to a translation error and some ~scientific~ magic powers, bones gets a literal magical healing cock, simply because I cannot imagine a man less disposed to sexing up his friends on a whim, but who would probably fuck his ENEMY if it saved their life?? kirk purposefully hamming it up/leering to make bones feel more normal, uhura kissing his cheek afterwards and seriously asking him if she can brag about how good he is, scotty absolutely not asking for permission to brag and fully regaling the engineering dept with "doctor's hands are clever things" nonsense, chekov gets a puppy crush and decides bones must be part russian because only a russian could kiss like that, sulu treats it like the medicine it's intended as and takes it upon himself to bodily drag chekov away from the good doc until he gets over himself -

and of course: spock. spock, obviously fatally injured, and the inevitable dub-con inherent in that on BOTH their sides (and on kirk's because kirk is there in the moments before it happens, because he, too, is worried like bones is that spock'll refuse, but he, unlike bones, is not willing to accept that answer, so he forcefully talks them into it, even tho both feel like they're forcing the other - )

and then spock, hunting bones down in the aftermath to apologize, as if he's a burden, as if bones was somehow unwilling to do that and more, as if -

"I am well aware of your propensity to lay all blame at your own feet, doctor, but the idea of you blaming yourself for saving my life, at personal cost to you, is -"

"You cannot be that stupid, Spock, that you think I wouldn't do anything to - "

"Your martyr complex is hardly a secret, doctor. Rest assured that I know what lengths you'll go to save others-"

"To save /you/, Spock. As aggravating as you are, there's nothing I wouldn't do to save /you/, you green-blooded hobgoblin!"

Even the short version of this got too long lmao, anyway unestablished ot3 when kirk walks in like, "oh are we talking about the fact I forced you two to have sex to save spock's life?" and both of these known kirk apologists IMMEDIATELY have to defend him, like, excuse me, we are adults, we make our own choices, it was hardly a hardship, and kirk jumps in with both feet like NOT A HARDSHIP, HUH? BECAUSE IT WASN'T A HARDSHIP TO WATCH, EITHER, ALTHO NEXT TIME YOU TWO WANNA TANGO MAYBE DO IT WITH LESS DYING, SO I CAN ACTUALLY ENJOY IT, and anyway they all have sex, obviously, and the magical healing cock thing DOES fade, but the ship generally agrees that while they're very glad bones is better, and that all moral conundrums re: his healing powers are no longer on the table, it was kinda nice to have the long-running lore of bones being THEE best lover finally confirmed once and for all

Why do I have so much plot in my head for such a ridiculous idea. Why.

[magnumdays]

Magnum PI 5.08 “Out of Mind, Out of Sight” review

Okay, we all called it but still, I did very much enjoy dressed up Miggy being all adorable on their date. Until of course, it all went horribly terrifyingly wrong. Man, those were some freaky hallucinations.

Anyways…

I’ve been trying to gather my thoughts on this episode and I can’t decide if I’m hugely disappointed or extremely thrilled.

So three plots this week, but I think they made that work even though they were very separated from each other and Childs really had no one to talk to. He was/is really growing on me which means it would make sense for them to kill him. Likeable people die… it’s the TV way.

The Miggy/ case-case

As some clever people had guessed the proposal was not real (I mean we knew it wasn’t going to be real but the fan girl in me so wanted it to be!) but just how quickly it was going to go from ‘awww adorable Miggy date’ to ‘Higgy’s worst nightmare’ had me a little shook. But that wasn’t even really the nightmare… oh boy, that was some freaky hallucinations there at the end, well done.

Problem with putting the proposal and Higgy in trouble first thing… well, I’m just waiting for that moment to happen. So everything leading up to it is a little…well for me, I don’t really super focus on it. Or I didn’t today. So yeah, the Miggy + case was a little bit of a blur to me. I did enjoy our babies having their first fight, brought on by Magnum’s terrible password etiquette and looming death. Very fitting for our duo.

(Also, Higgy, 64 symbol passwords? What are you trying to protect? The lumminati deepest darkest secrets?)

Higgy doing her American accent always amuses me, but I did like southern belle from season 4 better, that was hilarious! A patient figuring it out and Higgy actually telling her because even if the patient told…who’d have believed her?

Magnum just knowing Higgy was in trouble there at the end did annoy me a little. Like come on, surely there must have been a better way? Also him rushing up the stairs - like boy? where are you going? Higgy’s find my phone was offline! Making for good last second rescue drama, sure, but still, not sure it made 100% sense.

It did get us both this

and this

so can’t complain.

Also can we talk about how it’s Higgy having the proposal dream? I half expected, even as I knew it was her dream, for it to be drugged Magnum having the dream. Our girl sure has come a long way :-)

Even if the more horrible bits of that scene, with the two Higgy’s and the padded room/corridor - was my favourite.

Also heartbreaking with the whole “whose blood is that”. In fact that whole drugged Higgy sequence was freaky as shit. I will be having nightmares of American accented Perdie going ‘whose blood is that?’, (and Higgy will be having those nightmares too in the fan fic my muse really wants to write -let’s hope muse-me sticks around when I’m starting at the blank pages of my google docs later…)

Did enjoy bad ass bitch Higgy being all “do you think you’re the first person to drug and interrogate me, you’re an amateur”. Like, part of me really would love to know just all Higgy’s crazy spy adventures.

Anyways, did love most of it and it does fit with nervous Higgy which we have been getting lately, so bonus points for continuity but… still IDK, maybe the clickbait proposal thing but something throws me a little?

I’d have had them hiking at pillbox and being all normal cute and not proposal cute, that would have made for more of a gut punch when Magnum was suddenly coughing up blood. Maybe? Because we wouldn’t have gone ‘oh dream/hallucination’ right away.

Also why did Higgy get banged on the head there at the start and then her wound just disappeared? Did they decide to add that in once filming was done to give her a moment with the creepy nurse or something? At least they could have given her a bandaid? IDK, just random intrusive thoughts made me super annoyed by this.

Childs getting himself killed(?)

So not confirmed dead, but since we seem to be getting a very dramatic mid-season finale next week (which already started this week to be honest!) I’m a little worried about Childs’ survival odds.

Especially since he was almost nice and did claim our faves as his friends. Plus got a cute talk/moments with his GF. That feels like nails in his coffin. But I had just begun to like him so let’s hope.

Gordy and baby-Gordy

The father-son ‘adventure’ to the mainland was maybe my favourite bit. Mostly because of this moment.

This moment really got to me. Because like this is the feeling. The feeling when something happens, and even though bad guy is thrown out/sent to jail, the host lady is all nice and apologetic and stuff, the bad unfair thing still happened. And it will keep on happening. And how do you fucking deal or talk about that.

I feel like this is one of the most relatable things for anyone who has ever been a minority one way or another, as a woman, different ethnicity, religion or social class.

Very much liked that Gordy did find some words to talk about it and found a way to sort of help reclaim the situation at the end. But still. Something weirdly emotional and relatable and important about that just eating in silent scene (for me at least.)

Other than Higgy’s freaky hallucinations and the Miggy feels at the end, Gordon and Dennis’ scenes were the best.

Next week

My goodness, not one second of downtime for anyone on this show, ever. Even before the episode we already have.

TC beeing shot.

Childs has been maybe blown up.

In the promo we see Higgy doing some seriously impressive flipping over fighting moves (someone make a gif of Higgy kicking ass from the promo, pretty please!) and Rick being chased through the rainforest?

Figuring Shammy saves the day with TC and takes him to Robin’s Nest where we know will be under siege? So TC, Shammy and Magnum & Higgins there and then Rick being hunted on his own?

I’m excited but I’m also not, because frankly I like being the one that causes my faves pain because then I know I can also give them some comfort and happiness later. This just seems like lots of hurt and very little comfort!!!

(At least it seems to not be another slightly disappointing SUV plot line?)

Well, next week can’t come soon enough while at the same time as soon as it does there won’t be any more Magnum until September. Which is a terrible terrible fate and the only good thing about this would be if this made made my muse wake up and I got to finish some of my fics!

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s02ep05 “Verne's New Friend” Review and Commentary

Previous episodes linked here.

In this episode: the obligatory kids' show "girls and boys can be friends" plotline.

We're back in Real Doc's lab for the opening segment, a rarity this season! Doc's got a lot of mysterious, bubbling liquids around him, and he takes a drink from a beaker, informing us it's water. However, he then picks up another one, which contains H2SO4 (sulfuric acid).

Remember when I covered the first season and kept making note of Doc's seemingly deteriorating mental state? The guy was a whole other level of unhinged in these opening segments. Zany, off the rails, and just plain WEIRD (said with the utmost affection). This live-action scene is no different, and it's not something that can really be captured properly in text. I feel I must include an actual clip to give you a taste of what Animated Series Real Doc is like.

What is. wrong with him.

The thing that really gets me (aside from the way he says, "Poisooooonnn...") is the way he smiles after.

If I didn't know and love Doc Brown, I would be terrified of this man. This could be in a horror movie. The last thing you see before the mad scientist takes you down.

Ultimately, the point of Doc's odd little display is to convey to us that things are not always what they seem. As many of our lead-ins into the cartoon part of the show, this one begins with Verne.

He and a bunch of buddies are gathered at a local baseball field and are ready to start up their game. It's guys only, though, and when two girls express their desire to play, Verne tells them, "Get lost. Girls can't play ball!" He and some of the other boys then start making jokes about how the girls should go fix their hair or do their nails instead. Oh, Verne...

I feel like this is a VERY common thing in 90s shows. The whole "boy discovers girls can play sports/be tough/enjoy the same things he does" was done over and over in TV.

During the game, the ball gets hit out of the field and is caught by a kid sitting on the sidewalk. The kid returns the ball with an amazing pitch, and Verne is instantly impressed. He asks the kid to be on his team, and they immediately form a quick friendship.

And with the whole "Verne doesn't want to play with girls" plotline having been immediately established in the first 20 seconds of this episode, let's really consider for a moment where they might be going here, shall we? Verne's just met a kid who plays baseball better than he does and who loves comic books as well. This kid is always wearing a hat. I'm thinkin' Vernie is in for a surprise when he gets to know his new friend better.

While at the comic store, the kids come across a poster for The Bob Brothers All-Star International Circus, and they want to go. The worker at the store informs them that it's an old poster, and the circus happened in 1933 and is now out of business. (Nice reference to "The Bobs" here!)

When Verne's friend (who we don't have a name for yet) expresses disappointment at not being able to see the show, Verne says maybe they can go to the circus. "Can you keep a secret?" he asks. Verne is about to spill the secret of time travel to a kid he's known all of two hours.

He and his friend sneak into the garage and hop into the DeLorean, programming it to the date of the circus and taking off on their little trip. Btw, Doc had been working on the car in that same moment. Doc is UNDER THE CAR when it's driven out of the garage.

As they drive along the street, a hand reaches from somewhere behind Verne and he panics, thinking it's Doc. (He hadn't seen him under the car) It's Marty, though! He'd been searching around in the car for something Doc needed in his repairs and has now been taken along for the ride against his will. He also shows absolutely zero concern at seeing Verne's friend sitting in the passenger seat. No "Who is this?" or "Verne, you told someone about time travel?!". Nothing.

The three of them arrive in 1933 and go straight to the circus. They're the only members in the audience.

They soon discover why the circus went out of business. It's awful. The band plays terrible music, the acts are boring (the "ferocious" lion is asleep during his performance), the tightrope walker is only two feet off the ground and terrified, and the Bob brothers running the show are a couple of clumsy goofballs. Verne, Marty, and Verne's friend are bored to tears.

When it comes time to see the human cannonball, one of the Bobs announces that the act has to be canceled due to a "slight occupational hazard." This is the human cannonball.

The only way the act can go on is if someone from the audience volunteers to do it themself. Sounds very legal!!!

Marty accidentally volunteers himself to be the cannonball because he picks that exact moment to wave his hands in an attempt to signal the guy selling peanuts. Good going, Marty. He's promptly launched into the air, out of the tent, and crash lands on the DeLorean, sending pieces of it flying.

(If you look closely at the sign in the background, it says "Tannen Farm")

After taking a look at the car later on, Marty informs his little buddies of some bad news: the carburetor is cracked. He says he might be able to fix it with a paperclip, though. Verne's friend, who we learn a moment later is called "Chris," is able to help out by offering a bobby pin. Verne is baffled. Why would a boy be carrying around a bobby pin??

As Marty works on the car, Verne and Chris sneak back into the circus, where they overhear a Tannen telling the Bobs that they'll have to pay him double from now on in order to keep using his land. The kids climb a nearby ladder up to a platform so they can get a better vantage point, and a series of wacky events follow. Verne and Chris fall from the platform but grab onto a unicycle and end up riding it across a tightrope, then they fling themselves into a clown car, a runaway tire crashes into a group of acrobats, and so on. Pure chaos.

Once everything is settled, Mac Tannen comes running over to one of his pigs, scooping it up and cuddling it and doing all sorts of baby talk to it.

"Cleopatra! Poor little baby-wabey. Did the baddy-waddy wittle boys frighten Daddy's itty-bitty piggy-wiggy?"

And you know what? It's kind of endearing seeing a Tannen acting all affectionate and loving toward something. Look at how happy that pig is. She has a bow in her hair!

As a result of all the shenanigans, he ends up telling the Bobs that he now wants triple the rent money, plus extra for damages. If he doesn't get it by the next night, he's going to take over running the circus. Verne and Chris are forced to stay and help out around the place in order to pay back the money for all the stuff they broke. Verne comes up with a plan to get the money rolling in quickly, and he and Chris ride an elephant into town to advertise and give away free tickets. That night, the stadium is completely packed, and Verne tells the Bobs that they'll make a ton of money selling food and souvenirs.

Unfortunately, the sisters who do the trapeze act have just quit, and it's their biggest act of the night. Verne says it's no sweat; he and Chris will do the act because "We can do anything any old girls can do."

Wearing some of Doc's "booster belts", Verne and Chris prepare for their trapeze act debut.

Marty says they look silly, especially wearing hats, and Verne takes his off. Chris refuses to do the same. Hmmm....

Also, I need to drop another screenshot of Mac with his pig as they sit in the audience.

The show begins with Chris and Verne, who fly around the air with ease due to their booster belts. The audience goes wild.

(this has nothing to do with the plot, but I want to draw attention to a scene where Mac's skin tone flashes back and forth noticeably)

I'm truly fascinated by the amount of mistakes and wonky animation in this series. People's eyes and skin change color out of nowhere and the character designs vary episode to episode. There's no consistency at all.

Returning back to the episode, the pair is in the middle of their most daring stunt when Chris's hat flies off and reveals....she's a GIRL! Who could have seen this coming?

Verne is so shocked that he falls from his own trapeze and begins plummeting to the ground. Chris swoops in and saves him just in time. Once they land and a crowd of people gathers in awe, Verne stalks off angrily.

Outside, the Bobs pay Mac Tannen all the money they owe him, followed by another very obvious mistake. Mac calls to his pig, who appears a moment later carrying an armful of food and souvenirs. A second later all that stuff is gone, and it's just the pig walking away. Holding nothing.

What was going on in the studio that animated this show??

Over at the DeLorean, Verne is ranting to Marty about how upset he is that Chris was a girl this whole time. How could he have shared so many things he loved with A GIRL?? Marty doesn't get what the big deal is. He says that some of his best friends are girls. "She's still the same person you liked before," he goes on to tell Verne, to which Verne continues complaining. Marty tells him he better knock it off or his friendship with Chris (whose name is really Christine) is going to be over.

With the car fixed, they all pile into the car, where Verne continues to give Chris the cold shoulder for betraying him or something. Idk. Verne is convinced girls have cooties. But the whole reason that Chris hid the fact she's a girl is specifically because it was the only way she could be included in those "boy activities." Verne never would have asked her to play baseball or read comics with him if he'd known from the start.

Once back home, Verne joins his buddies for a game of baseball. As he chases after the ball, he runs into Chris. She hands him the ball, and Verne awkwardly asks her if she wants to play with them. And that's where the cartoon portion ends.

All is well. Verne has come to his senses and realized that it's okay to have friends who are girls. We don't get to see any scenes of how Verne comes to change his mind, though. It just happens. He's angry at her one moment, then asks her to play 20 seconds later in the next scene. I get that there's very limited time to tell a story in a kids' cartoon, but it would've been nice to see Verne having that moment of, "Hey, maybe I was wrong."

We go back to Doc's lab, where he reiterates the lesson that appearances can be deceiving. For example, his elaborate setup of tubes and colorful liquids is actually an invention that creates the perfect water balloon. You see, he's preparing for his and Verne's semi-annual water fight, and he's discovered an exact formula that helps the balloons fly further and have the biggest burst ratio.

I love Doc being a dad. Establishing regular water balloon fights with his son and using the power of science to beat him is something he absolutely would do.

And that about does it for this episode! It was okay. Verne was annoying in it, but I liked Chris (I was very much considered a "tomboy" as a kid), and Marty actually came through with some common sense and good advice. Like I said, I feel like I've seen this same kind of storyline a hundred times from various shows and movies. It was a popular one in the 80s through the early 2000s, it seems.

Join me next time as I go into the episode without any prior knowledge, because it's called "Bravelord and the Demon Monstrux" which intrigues me so much that I don't even want to read the episode summary.

[the-ashenstreaked-doctor]

13, 14 and 15 for the oc ask 👀

13. Do they enjoy poetry?

He does, sometimes! He finds it fun to read the way the words wind together and find some sort of meaning from them, like finding a clear path through troubled waters. He approaches poetry as a riddle to be solved, something whose core is hidden within the spiral and must be picked out.

However. Sometimes, poetry is written.. overly flowery, lacking any depth. The word choices are confusing, the text circles and ties itself in meaningless knots that look pretty, but can’t hold anything. The text presents itself in a way that his literal-tending mind can only take as literal, seeming to leave no room to practice interpretation. These, he is not fond of.

14. Do they have a hard time opening up to people?

Yes, even if it may not seem like it sometimes. Doc tends to be more open in letters than in person; the act of writing with no one there to ‘pressure’ him gives him time to think out what he’d like to say, weigh the risks of what he puts to writing. Plus, he can word things in such a way that make it seem like he’s being more open than he is… In person, he struggles to even speak with most of his acquaintances.

Even with friends, he doesn’t always open up. He has exactly two close friends he can think of that know some of his deeper secrets, and everyone else is left with the surface level. He simply doesn’t trust what others will do with what he says. Secrets are a currency here, after all.

15. What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?

Despite his stern expression and dour-seeming disposition, he actually does have a sense of humour! He enjoys clever wordplay (and, admittedly, not-so-clever wordplay can give him a chuckle), and he can laugh at something unexpected but funny happening. With closer friends, he’ll jokingly flirt back and forth since he knows nothing will come of it. He’s surprisingly good at one-liners without intending to be, and he appreciates good comedic timing from others as well.

[ask meme]

[casadefreewill]

No school AU for the wip game?

you know what, I'm just gonna put everything in the doc here

Adrien never went to school

Adrien is a sentimonster

Adrien still has fencing at Dupont - can be seen there sometimes

Only friend is Chloé

Lack of other social connections = subconsciously clings desperately to ladybug 

Likes to explore the city at night as much as possible

meets marinette through exploration / she’s up and has food and art out on her balcony, just chilling

Meets Alya through her interviewing of them

Meets Nino through his relationship to Alya, they still get locked together during an akuma attack

 No civilian adrien = Ladybug considers Chat’s flirtatious advances

Chat Blanc happens > enforce that Marinette's presence had very little to do with the end result of how things played out. Gabriel reveals himself to Adrien for different reasons.

Marinette take away is they need a way to keep in contact if anything goes wrong for either of them in their lives

Chat's civilian ID must stay secret at all costs (even from her)

They eventually compromise with minimalist phones (adrien orders them for both of them when they have the idea) - only allows calls and text, no internet to be tracked. Meant to be used to alert for akumas, they expand it eventually into general chitchat when one akuma’s power just kind of gets to Chat and he just isn’t in a good place after the fight no matter how he covers it up (her either).

Adrien is FAR more isolated here.

He does eventually meet and make friends with Kagami.  

Civilian friend list:

Chloé (sees her when Chloé thinks of it, at events when his father lets him out)

Queen Bee? > because Chloé likes Adrien and Adrien knows its Chloé/Chat is teammates with her

Kagami (sees her when their parents allow, fencing)

Chat’s friends:

Ladybug

Marinette - she helps with several akumas and he starts to see her a responsible person and a good friend

Eventually:

Alya

Nino

Rina Rouge

Carapace 

Luka/Viperian (exploration leads him to the liberty)

Queen Bee? > Chat picks her as team member

Ryuko? > Chat picks as team member

——

Senti:

The amok is one of the Gram De Vanily rings.

Gabriel doesn’t use it to control adrien/adjust his behavior because Emily made him and he doesn’t want to mess up any of the work she put so much effort into.

When things start to climax/get bad he does grab the ring and command Adrien to be silent. — (Adrien isn’t actually 100% sure that’s not just something adults can do to to children but he’s mostly just terrified and contacts Ladybug via phone)

— Gabriel also commanded him to his room, it’s the compulsion he felt to obey both commands that makes him start to wonder/freak out a little

— Plagg’s “discussion” with him about it (adrien can’t talk) also leads to them concluding there is some fuckery going on somewhere 

— it’s that he goes looking for the ring where he finds the lair and “mom”’s body, Plagg recognizes the amok and they take the rings.

show them to lady bug, they find a place to hide the rings

Adrien has a break down/identity crisis 

Not just treated like a doll but is one

Also Dad is probably Hawk Moth

[fenmere]

“I’ve discovered your secret identity,” their voice says next to you.

Oh, no, it's Crime-Cat again. You've come to understand that's "Cat" as in "Caterpillar Back Hoe Loader". Which explains their black and yellow costume you've always seen them in.

You’re at a bus stop. You didn’t hear them approach or sit down, but you’re so used to this now that you don’t even bother to look over, “I don’t have one.”

“Of course you do,” they say. “You’re not in your costume now, but by night you are the Deliverator!”

Oh. Wait a minute.

You have never seen your villain outside of work hours before. This is new. They think that your Moonlight Pizza uniform is your hero costume?

You’re not “in costume” now, so they have figured out something about you.

You look over at them incredulously.

They aren’t in costume either. They’re dressed as a regular person. If a typical person would wear a pink lemonade colored skirt, fishnets, doc martins, a loudly printed button down shirt with flying toasters all over it, and a jean jacket covered in buttons. Their side cut is freshly trimmed. It’s not always freshly trimmed.

You recognized them from the voice. You probably wouldn’t have otherwise.

What’s going on?

“Why won’t you fight me?” they ask. “I keep doing perfectly nefarious things, but you never act to stop me.”

“You flip over police cars, with the cops still in them,” you point out.

“Perfectly nefarious! A whole precinct of them! Then I ordered pizza! From you.”

“It’s not nefarious,” you say.

“What?”

“It’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a community service and you tip well.”

“Well, I could never stiff you!”

What is going on with them? First they introduce themselves and declare you their nemesis. Then they start addressing you as “The Deliverator, Dispenser of Justice!” And show up randomly in the passenger seat of your car to taunt you with their acts of super powered civil disobedience. Or they ask specifically for you when ordering pizza.

Honestly, the most evil and creepy thing they are doing is effectively stalking you. That part is almost enough to actually turn you into a hero.

The stalking isn't OK. But they're so inept at it, really. And they somehow make it adorable rather than fully creepy. Which you know is the wrong way to think about this, but there it is.

Why are they doing this? Do they like you? Do they want to be friends?

It feels like middle school all over again.

“Honestly, I’m no match for you,” you explain. You finally decide to play along. Maybe it will get them to relax a bit. So you explain. “I’m just a gadgeteer, you know. Well, not a real one. I use gadgets other people made for me. And all I’ve got is my phone and my car.”

“Your skill must be astounding! It’s a shame you never stop me!”

“I -“ you sigh. “Look. I’m in the market for some super powers. Maybe that way I can actually dream of foiling you. Do you happen to know where I can get some?”

The look of excitement on their face is overwhelming and unsettling. But also kind of flattering.

They have stars in their eyes, and when you’re not scared that they could flatten you with their telekinesis if you spurn them you do think they’re pretty neat otherwise. They’re cute and they flip over police cars, carefully, with the police still in them. Whole precincts at a time.

What’s not to be impressed about that?

Maybe they really do want to be friends. Weird.

“Maybe I could be your henchperson,” you say.

“THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S DONE!” they shout. And then they look utterly mortified that they shouted at you.

Years ago your work place accepted a prank delivery to an evil villains lair, ever since that day the villian hasn’t left you alone, convinced you were secretly a hero, no matter how many times you explain you were just a pizza delivery driver and it was a prank call.

[ohmygillygoshoppler]

Oh God please tell me you've written more for the secret saturdays. Please please please, I absolutely have to have something else to read regarding them please

I have been writing a bit, yeah. I moved apartments and haven't been able to draw but the creative juices wont stop flowing, so I had to start writing, lmao. but, yes, I have a piece of a piece for you. Eat well, my starving little Anon~

Drew batted the raindrops from her lashes and pulled the hood of the cowl Fisk was wearing over his ears. She wondered how he could sleep after the nightmare that just transpired; she held him closer to her the more she thought about it. Try as she might; tooth and nail, blood and bone, the universe seemed to be conspiring against them. One thing after another after another- 

And her baby boy died that day. Gods, what about Zak? What must be going on inside his head right now? Drew's heart ached to know what could've happened to him if by some strange magic, Argost’s plan had succeeded.

She was glad, though, that he was only gone for a few minutes. Things could've been so much worse.

She was grateful, too, that the Cat Goddess herself had asked for an audience with the entire family, let alone Kur. And she was gracious enough to offer a safe space for them to talk; her own offices in the great City of Cairo. The Saturdays were all aflutter to be there, and the offices of Bastet were nothing short of breathtaking.

Doc looked the most uncomfortable, but Drew knew that it was simply out of fear of the unknown. He wasn't the type to even acknowledge magic as a fact of existence, now he's being faced with magic and gods and wizards and cantrips and all sorts of things he previously thought to be nothing but works of fiction. Kind of ironic, the father of the godchild being the one to be hesitant to acknowledge the existence of other gods. It almost made Drew want to laugh.

[toasted-frootloops]

One For All REVAMP ~ Chapter 2 - Waking Up

BLU - Normal RED - Bold ~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout walks inside the BLU base, the other men stopping and looking over in shock as Spy looks outside before closing the door and walking over to the crowd. Scout rushes up to Medic and looks at him with worry.

Scout: Doc, please, you gotta help her! Please!

Medic: Oh my goodness, quick, rests her on the couch.

Scout runs over to the old green couch and lays her down, moving back and breathing heavily as the other mercs surround the couch. They all look down at the girl in shock, seeing all the marks and wounds covering her body.

Sniper: Dear God...

Demoman: This poor lass, what the hell happened to her?

Medic: Scout, where did you find this girl?

Scout: I was getting some fresh air and went for a jog. I ended up going near the RED base and I decided to sneak inside.

Soldier: You what?!

Engineer: Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, boy?

Pyro: *mumbles* "Not to mention stupid."

Scout: I know but I spotted the RED medic over there in some weird secret room. I snuck inside and...well, I found her.

Scout walks close to her and crouches down by her, looking at her face.

Spy: Do we even know who this girl is?

Medic: I don't know, but it seems that Medic was torturing her.

Pyro: *mumbles loudly* "That RED doctor is a maniac!"

Heavy: So true, Pyro.

The men all chatted quietly, unsure of what to do with this girl. Scout stands up and turns away from her as he keeps explaining what happened on his jog. As they all keep talking, the girl groans and starts to wake up, fluttering her eyes a little. Spy looks over and sees her waking up and gestures to her.

Spy: She's waking up. Are you alright, miss?

The others turn around to face her as her eyes adjust, seeing familiar faces, but now in blue uniforms. She spots the knife in Scout's back pocket, grabbing it and shouting at the men. Scout yelps in shock as he spins to face her. She moves to sit up, wincing and gasping in pain as she holds the knife out towards the men.

Unknown: Get...get the hell away from me!

Medic: Relax, we're not here to hurt you.

Unknown: Bullshit! Stay the hell away from me!

The girl stands up and bites her lip hard, trying to not tear up from the sheer pain pulsing through her body, the hand holding the knife starting to shake from her pain. Spy steps forward for a moment and puts his hands out slowly, the girl aiming the knife at him.

Spy: Look, we're not going to hurt you. We're not RED.

Unknown: You think I'm that stupid? Just because you changed your color doesn't mean a damn thing!

Scout: No, really, you're okay here.

Unknown: Shut up!

As she shouts, she coughs, spitting up blood as she falls back onto the couch, groaning and dropping the knife onto the floor. Scout slowly approaches her and crouches down, watching her as she pants and wipes her blood from her lips.

Scout: I promise, okay? If we were gonna hurt you, don't you think something would have happened by now?

She goes silent and looks at Scout with concern, still unsure of her surroundings.

Scout: I...I got in there and I untied you. I brought you over here because these guys can help.

Unknown: You untied me?

Scout: Yeah, I...I guess I saved you.

Scout chuckles a little as the girl scoffs and looks away from him, Medic slowly walking up and observing her wounds. She looks at him with a slight snarl on her face as he adjusts his glasses.

Medic: Hmm, your wounds are quite extreme. I must patch you up before they get any worse.

Unknown: As if, I'm not letting you touch me.

Sniper: He's only trying to help you, sheila.

Unknown: Up yours, asshole. I'm not moving...!

Sniper gasps and growls softly at the girl's snappy attitude, Medic quickly stepping in between the two.

Medic: I'll have Scout come with us. It seems you'll need some help to walk to my office.

She looks at Medic, then Scout, then back to Medic. She sighs softly in defeat and stands up, leaning on the couch for support. Scout puts his hand out, but she rejects it as she starts limping towards Medic, losing her footing and falling back. Scout dashes over and catches her, taking one arm and slinging it over his shoulder as he helps her walk. Medic leads the two towards the infirmary, opening the door for the two.

Medic: Scout, could you please help our patient onto the bed?

Scout: Sure thing, doc.

Unknown: Don't try anything, I won't think twice about kicking the shit out of you...

Scout gently lifts her onto the bed, the girl wincing and gritting her teeth as she looks over at the Medic.

Unknown: That warning goes to you, too.

Medic: Well, once your legs are patched up, then I'll accept the threat.

Scout: Don't worry, the doc is gonna make sure you're okay.

Medic: I will need to ask you a few questions if that's alright.

Unknown: Fine, but he's not leaving the room. I don't trust you won't try anything.

She points to Scout and he looks at her in surprise, backing up and leaning against the wall of the room. Medic grabs some bandages and a scanner, walking over to the bed.

Medic: Let's start with something simple. What's your name?

Unknown: ...Laina G. Smokes. Most people call me Smokey.

Medic: Well, at least it's nice to put a name to the face.

Medic starts looking over Smokey and starts wrapping up some of her visible wounds.

Medic: Now, Smokey, was it? Do you remember how you ended up out here?

Scout: Yeah, you'd have to be really off course to end up in a literal battlefield.

Medic: Scout...

Medic gives Scout a glare and Scout shuts up, putting his hands in his pockets as Smokey sighs softly.

Smokey: I was on a bus trip to see my father. He's in jail and he's quite a far way out. I got off at the wrong stop and got lost in the desert. I...I found somebody and he brought me back to this massive building. Last thing I remember was feeling my head in a lot of pain, then ended up waking up in the chair.

Scout: What did the guy look like?

Smokey: Um, a bit older, he was smoking and...he was wearing a red suit.

Medic: That would have been the RED Spy.

Scout: How long have you been there?

Smokey goes quiet as she tries to recall the time. Medic sighs softly as continues to wrap up some of the scars all over her body. She groans and winces as she looks at Medic.

Smokey: Hey, watch it...!

Medic: Did you think that this was going to tickle?

Smokey rolls her eyes and looks back over to Scout.

Smokey: At least three months.

Scout: Three months? How the hell aren't you dead?

Smokey: The Medic over there heals me, gives me scraps and it restarts. I don't ever leave the room.

Scout: It explains why you were so light. They don't even feed ya anything?

Smokey: Well, nothing that'll actually benefit me. Like I said, mostly scraps, whatever they feel generous enough to give me.

Medic: Hmm, well most of the outer wounds are healed but I will need to do an X-ray to see if there are any internal injuries.

Smokey: Yeah, you'll find plenty. That asshole red doctor bashed my ribs to shit with a metal bat.

Scout and Medic look at each other and she winces as she readjusts herself, resting one hand on her left side.

Medic: Well, I will need you to undress for me, just into your underwear so that the X-ray isn't obstructed.

Smokey sighs softly as she looks over at Scout. He locks eyes with her for a moment and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. She groans and looks away from him as Medic fixes his glasses.

Medic: Scout, could you perhaps give the young lady here some privacy?

Scout: Oh, yeah...! I'll uh, I'll just be outside.

Scout grabs the door handle and makes his way out of the doctor's room as Smokey looks over at Medic unimpressed.

Smokey: You too, I don't want you peeking.

Medic: No problem, I'll just prepare the machine.

Medic walks over to his desk as Smokey leans over, checking to make sure he isn't watching her as she carefully takes her shirt off. She twinges and cusses under her breath from the pain, dropping the shirt on the floor. She carefully takes off her pants, groaning and wincing as she slowly shimmies them down her legs. Medic listens to her pain as he prepares everything, turning his head a little.

Medic: Are you alright?

Smokey: I'm in pain, but I'm fine.

Medic: Very good, everything is ready for the X-ray.

He turns around and walks back over to the bed, looking at the young woman. She pants and breathes heavily as she lays back. Medic tilts and readjusts his glasses as he looks over her battered and wounded body. She looks at him and groans.

Smokey: Not a word, and don't try anything.

Medic: I won't say a word, Miss Laina.

~~~~~~~~

Some time passes and Scout is in his room, flexing in front of his mirror. He hypes himself up and kisses his muscles as soft footsteps approach his bedroom door. Smokey breathes softly as she rests one hand on her side, looking in and scoffing quietly at the idiot flexing and showing off to his mirror.

Scout: Oh man, that's beautiful.

Smokey: Yeah, real beautiful. Are you twelve?

Scout yelps and turns around, a light flustered blush crossing his face as she faces Smokey. He nervously laughs as she leans against the doorway for support.

Scout: You scared the crap out of me! Jeez...did the doc fix you up?

Smokey: What he can for now. My ribs still fucking kill but hey, I'm not coughing up blood anymore.

Scout gulps and chuckles sheepishly as he walks closer to her. She sighs and looks over at him.

Smokey: Hey...Scout, right?

Scout: Yeah?

Smokey: I...

She lets out a long sigh and avoids eye contact with him for a moment.

Smokey: I...appreciate you for getting me out of there.

Scout: Oh, well you're welcome.

Smokey: Let me be clear, I'm not thanking you. I still don't trust you as far as I could throw you. But, at least here I'm not in that fucking chair.

Scout: O-Of course, I get that. I mean anything would have to be better than that.

There is silence for a moment before Smokey clears her throat and lifts herself off of the door frame.

Smokey: I'm heading back to the doctor's room. He told me I gotta stay in there tonight in case of medical emergencies.

Scout: Oh, no problem. Good night.

Smokey nods to Scout and starts making her way towards Medic's ward. Scout stretches and yawns as he turns around and starts getting ready for bed. He sits on his bed and rests his head in his hands for a moment before undressing and getting into his bed.

[softguarnere]

Like A Girl (Like A Man)

Shifty Powers x OFC

Chapter Four: A Secret, Shared

Taglist: @liebgotts-lovergirl @latibvles

Summary: Zenie shares a secret and accepts an invitation

Warnings: smoking, mentions of unsafe binding techniques

Toccoa, 1942

“So. Who else knows?”

“No one. At least not that I’m aware of.”

Zenie has never liked smoking – could never stand the scent of the cigarettes and hated having people casually blow smoke in her face during conversations. Now though, she takes the cigarette when she is offered, holds the smoke in her lungs and prays that it will calm her down the way that it does for the men. Her hand trembles as she holds it between her fingers.

She takes a long drag before she speaks again. It’s strange, to speak in her natural register after so long of concentrating on making her voice sound deeper. “What happens now?” Suddenly bold and bitter in the face of uncertainty, she adds, “At least give me a head start so that I can run before they decide to hunt me down and court martial me.”

Doc Roe blinks, his dark eyes holding back something that lies halfway between surprise and a laugh. “I wasn’t plannin’ on turnin’ you in.”

“What?” Now it’s her turn to be surprised.

The medic looks around to make sure that no one else is around to overhear them. No one should be able to – they’ve climbed to the top of Currahee to have this conversation, because in the hustle and bustle of camp life, this is the one place that remains quiet, except during their PT runs on the trail.

“I ain’t gonna turn you in.”

“Why not?” The words are out before she can stop them, but she can’t help it. Because really – why not? If someone has something that they can hold over her head, why not dangle it there and demand that she dance, jump, sing for her supper, anything they could force her to do?

“Why not?” Doc Roe repeats. He inhales from his cigarette, his eyebrows furrowed. “’Cause if the tables were turned, wouldn’t any of us do the same thing as you?”

That certainly is the question, isn’t it? It stands to reason that they would, and that they would see Zenie’s side of things because of it. Too bad that the higher ups who hold her fate in their hands won’t see it that way. She can practically feel Sobel and Sink squeezing that same fate, testing her durability to see how much she can stand. Roe might not turn her in, but she could still take that head start and take off running . . .

But she doesn’t want to. She really doesn’t want to leave this place.

“How did you figure it out?” If he’s already done it, then other people must be well on their way to drawing the same conclusion. Doc Roe is offering not to tell anyone what he knows, but she’s got to figure out how to keep everyone else from realizing that she’s not a man.

“Don’t feel bad. Part of my whole job is noticin’ things about Easy men. I gotta know how people usually act so that I can tell when something is off – when someone might be hidin’ a sickness or an injury.

“You were always slippin’ off for the showers and latrines at different times. Not changin’ in front of anyone. Then I saw you stuffin’ somethin’ into your mattress one day, shortly after some of the nurses realized that some health sponges were missin’, and every now and then a roll of bandages will disappear.”

“But you didn’t tell anyone. Why?”

Doc only shrugs. “I didn’t see no reason to. Not like you was hurtin’ anybody.” He glances over her quickly. “Well, except for yourself. You got the bandages too tight. They need to be looser.”

“I can’t loosen them. Then everyone will realize – “

“You wanna keep almost passin’ out?”

Zenie’s words halt. She’s hardly ever heard Roe say two words, and definitely not in such an authoritative tone. It’s all she can do to shake her head through her shock.

“Then you gotta loosen ‘em, at least before PT. And take ‘em off when you’re sleepin’ – completely off, so you can breathe and give your ribs a break. Make sure they get washed if your gonna reuse ‘em. If not, I’ll get you some new ones.”

He says it all so quickly that it takes Zenie a second to wrap her head around it all.

“Are you . . . helping me?”

Now Roe looks confused. “Yeah.”

“But why?”

Off to the side, the sun is starting to sink below the distant horizon. The world is bathed in gold, but the blue hour is creeping in, slowly painting the world the same color as the distant, smoky looking mountains. They need to head back to camp soon, or else they’ll be in all kinds of trouble with Sobel – something that Zenie cannot afford after barely surviving the run earlier today.

“Paratroopers are supposed to be the best of the best,” Roe finally answers. “We’re supposed to be the bravest and the most daring. That’s true of all the men down there, or else they wouldn’t be here. And here you are, riskin’ your neck to be a part of ‘em. The way I see it, that makes you the bravest and most daring of all of ‘em. If there’s anyone I would trust in combat, it’s someone as fearless as you.”

No one has ever called Zenie brave, daring, or fearless. It’s the first and probably the last time anyone ever will. Even the prissy sounding voice in the back of her mind – the one that has a habit of repeating things that Beckie used to say to her – butts in to remind her that she’s always been somewhat of a crybaby, and begins holding that stupid Christmas party and that childhood crush on Elijah Woodard over her head again, just to remind her how easy it is for someone to use secrets to keep others in their place.

“What do I owe you?” she can’t help but ask.

But Roe only shakes his head. “Just make sure you don’t kill yourself with those bandages, Tommy.”

The secret felt much safer when the only other person keeping it was about fifty miles away. The next time that Zenie pens a letter to Bobby, she tries to figure out a way to tell him that someone has found her out. But the mail is censored; there’s no way to tell him without telling everyone – assuming that they don’t already know.

What would she even say? Dear Bobby, Bad news, my cover was blown by a very observant medic. Your friend, Zena “Tommy Driver” McGlamery.

She’s being paranoid. If anyone else knew, they would have sent her to jail or kicked her out or worse. Much, much worse.

For a while, she keeps a close eye on Doc Roe, trying to figure him out. But the more she watches him, the more that his words up on Currahee seem to be sincere. He never makes any offer to hold the secret over her head, and he checks in with her to ask how her ribs feel, to make sure she has fresh bandages, and to ask if she needs any health sponges. Despite her instincts, Zenie finds herself softening around him as she learns to put her trust in him.

It’s a leap of faith, hoping that he really has her best interest at heart. But isn’t that what being a paratrooper is all about? Taking a leap and hoping that something – usually a parachute, but this time, a fellow soldier – will keep you from crashing into the ground?

Things start to move so quickly that she finds new things to worry about instead. In December, the news comes that they’ll be leaving Toccoa, and the day before, they have to march all the way to Atlanta. Then it’s on to Fort Benning, which is somehow more miserable than Toccoa because of the heat. Zenie has to take Doc’s advice and loosen her bandages. She finds herself praying that this won’t be what gets her caught. To her surprise, it seems to work, and she has to wonder if maybe all of her hometown’s pastor’s speeches about the power of prayer actually had some merit to them.

But Benning is better than Toccoa in a lot of ways. Instead of constant physical conditioning, they start learning what they all joined the Army for in the first place – how to jump. And unlike the coveted weekend passes that so often ended up being revoked, they’re granted a ten-day furlough to visit home.

There’s no way that Zenie could risk showing her face at home. But ten days of reprieve and privacy around the Fort wouldn’t be too bad. Still, a sinking feeling enters her stomach as she pictures watching her friends leave. It wouldn’t be the first time that she’s watched people she cares about head out into the world without her. She’s had plenty of practice with that, what with watching Matthew head off for the Air Force, Marilyn moving off with her fiancé, Beckie leaving for the city . . . This time, though, the people she cares about will come back, which is a change of pace at least.

“I’m tellin’ ya Tommy, you would like Philly,” Bill offers for the hundredth time. “And Ma wouldn’t mind at all. Hell, after having her sons leave for the war, she’d probably be glad to have another mouth to feed.”

“The biggest city I’ve been to is Atlanta,” Zenie reminds him. “I’d probably get lost.” And I can’t risk being in such close quarters with someone who doesn’t know my secret, she doesn’t add.

Other friends make the same offer, and she politely refuses them all. But when Shifty approaches her, she can’t quite find the words to tell him no. Maybe it’s because of how fondly he describes Clinchco to Popeye, talking about the views from a place called Frying Pan, the hollers that he hiked as a kid, and the way frost covers the mountain tops this time of year – it all reminds Zenie of home, and something within her finds that she actually misses hers, just a little.

Shifty makes the first offer casually. But after that, he’s almost insistent that she take her leave with someone, even if it’s not him. “You never seem to take your passes. I think it would drive me crazy, waitin’ around here while everyone else is gone for ten whole days.”

“I can’t go home.” It feels wrong to lie to him. She settles on something close to the truth instead. “Shifty, if I go home . . . I’ll never be able to come back.”

“Homesickness? Or – “

“My family – “ She cuts herself off. Funny, how in this role as Thomas she’s rehearsed so many lines and lies and stories, but she can’t find any good ones now. Nothing that will hold up under pressure, anyway, the way that nothing but the truth does. “They don’t know that I’m in the Army.”

Shifty’s eyebrows furrow, his handsome face serious as he puzzles it out. “But we’re the same age. I had to have my Daddy sign the papers for me to join. Your parents . . . ?”

“I forged my father’s signature.” Well, technically Bobby forged her father’s signature. Er, Tommy Driver’s father’s signature. Zenie likes to imagine that Tommy’s dad would be kind and understanding and supportive and would have signed Thomas’ papers in a heartbeat, no questions asked. That’s how she imagines a father who is proud of his child would be.

“Oh.” He glances away. For a minute, neither says anything, although Shifty knits his eyebrows again, looking like he wants to.

Something within Zenie’s stomach drops as disappointment washes over her. If she hadn’t become such good friends with him, maybe lying to him wouldn’t feel so awful. Or if he knew who she really was, then she could explain everything.

“Still,” he finally says. “If you want to, you could come to Clinchco with me. My folks won’t mind.”

“Okay. I’ll go.”

Shifty’s eyes widen. Zenie feels her own do the same. She hadn’t anticipated accepting so quickly. This feels like high school, awkwardly agreeing to the few outings she was invited to much too quickly, making her look desperate.

For what it’s worth, Shifty doesn’t seem to mind. Not when his expression softens into a smile and he lets out a little laugh.

“Alrighty then. Looks like the mountain men are headin’ home to the holler.”