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dearmahiru-archive · 2 years ago

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— together in death; dearmahiru's shinjū theory

tw: this post revolves around the discussion of group suicide and a toxic relationship

Before I Love You had released, I proposed Mahiru attempted to commit a lover's suicide with her boyfriend. It's hopelessly outdated (and terribly formatted) but, given we've recieved many confirmations about Mahiru's story, I wanted to try rewriting the theory with the new information. For reference here is the old post.

Yamanaka: ❝ When we designed the characters and their sins, we tried to design them in a way that is open for interpretation depending on how each viewer feels, and encourage differences in opinions. For example, some sins may be legally wrong, or something that you can’t forgive emotionally, and some may be interpreted differently due to cultural differences and different upbringings. So we encourage people from all walks of life to participate, to increase the diversity and depth in the results. ❞

Understandably, this post will paint Mahiru in an overtly sympathetic light given my bias towards her. However, I'm disinterested in rehashing the same "Mahiru is a bad person" points when everyone is aware of her flaws. I acknowledge proposing this theory would seem like an attempt to absolve Mahiru of guilt but that's not my intention. Like every character, Mahiru is morally gray and whether the audience finds her forgivable is up to them.

So, without further ado, let's begin.

01. Setting The Scene

This particular scene in I Love You is extremely important: namely, it's the location of her victim's death.

If we look at Mahiru's incarnation records, her victim died in Aokigahara, Japan's infamous suicide forest. This makes sense given he had died by hanging.

At least since the 1960s, Aokigahara has become associated with suicide, eventually becoming known in English by the nickname "Suicide Forest" and gaining a reputation as one of the world's most-used suicide sites.

Adding onto this, we know Mahiru went with her boyfriend to Aokigahara. First, ofcourse, the two are seen walking through a literal forest. Second, in Mahiru's Undercover memories, the sleeves perfectly align with the clothes Mahiru and her boyfriend wear. There's no other day where these sleeves align—trust me, I checked.

Q. Can you drive a car? Mahiru: "I have a drivers license. But I'm only a 'paper driver.'"

A paper driver is someone who's license is only 'paper' because they don't use it. Aokigara is a two-hour drive away from Tokyo which is where Mahiru lives. If she doesn't drive then this might mean it was her boyfriend who drove them to Aokigahara.

So to recap, Mahiru and her boyfriend went to a suicide forest together. This does beg the question though: why did Mahiru come along? If she knew her boyfriend was suicidal then wouldn't she try consoling him? Unless, ofcourse, Mahiru also wanted to die.

02. Love Is Mine

When you peek into Mahiru's symbolism you'll notice one reoccurring theme: clinging onto someone until you both suffocate.

Beginning with this shot of Mahiru and her victim, she's depicted as the literal noose tied around her boyfriend's neck. However, as many have noted, it can also be interpreted as her comforting him. As opposed Haruka who's straddling ontop of his victim, Mahiru's boyfriend is laying on her lap while she gazes into his eyes. Although violent, it's a distinctly intimate scene.

Personally, I'm partial to the name theory which suggests each prisoner's name reflects something about their crime. I noted the meaning behind Mahiru's name here but I'll regurgitate it. Mahiru's name means "Midday" which fits along her description:

A prisoner who is like the sun, always chatting and laughing.

So, with the theory in mind, Mahiru's crime relates to her eternal sunny presence.

Along with this, each prisoner has the kanji for "wood" in their name and removing that kanji reflects an aspect of their crime. (For instance, Haruka (嬰) would be "baby" or "necklace" and Yuno (堅) would be "strong" or "resolute" like her real personality).

With out the wood kanji, Mahiru's name is 隹 which means means "bird," obviously relating to how Mahiru and her boyfriend are both bluebirds suffocating within their small birdcage. Their relationship was doomed from the beginning—as bluebirds are wild animals and therefore cannot survive in cages. It was inevitable one of them would've become stressed out and died. Put a pin in the birdcage symbolism since we'll came back to that.

Moving on, in her first voice drama, Mahiru reveals how her victim died:

Es: "I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?" Mahiru: "You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!" Es: [pauses] Mahiru: "I just… I was… just being myself."

(honestly really frustrating how people still theorize mahiru/her boyfriend cheated when she expressed multiple times that wasn't the case. all of the victims apart from kotoko's were innocent people and mahiru "loving my bf is my defining personality trait" shiina isn't about to tap someone's elses ass. if anything this is a demonstration she was only stressed out about her partner leaving her but whatever i digress)

And then later on these exchanges happen:

Es: It was your love which killed someone, right? Despite that, will you still try to love another person? Mahiru: [thinks] Actually, I was hoping you could tell me the answer to that, prison guard… If what I did was unforgivable.

Mahiru: Ah, this isn’t good. Be careful, okay? Um… Um… If you’re that kind to me, you could die as well. Just—kidding?

So already, this theme of suffocation has been reinforced multiple times. Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to a suicide forest, she locks hands with him, she's symbolised as a noose hanging him, she's stuck in a birdcage with him, and it's her sunny disposition, her love for him which kills him.

Which forms the foundation for this theory: following her theme of clinging until suffocation, Mahiru tried to die alongside her boyfriend to forever stay with him.

Q. What is the ultimate form of Love?Mahiru: Being always together

Mahiru: My first shrine visit of the year was together with him. Obviously I know what I want to wish for. Please let us stay together like this forever. Please don’t let anyone else get in our way

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together! [Mahiru is outright singing, "Lets stay close together for so long we could die from the warmth.]

If you don't hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart [Otherwise, "If you don't hold me close then I won't feel loved by you."

Mahiru: "Ehehe...I love, love, LOVE YOU!! Don't ever let me go, ok!"

The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here

Which leads us to our third point: oh goodness Mahiru's relationship was a hot mess.

03. Love Is (Un)Dead

Okay, so we've established a lot but there's one thing missing: Is Mahiru herself suicidal?

Mahiru: It’s because I've… decided that I’m going to live for the sake of love

Mahiru: Hmm. If you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, then there’s no point in living—to be honest. [laughs]

Mahiru: Being in love is… If there was no such thing as love, then my life would be so bland. So, if you say that I won’t be allowed it anymore, then there’s no point in me living.

An extremely unfortunate yes! Similar to how Shidou wishes to die because of his love, Mahiru only lives for the sake of love. (Infact, coasting off this shinju theory, I'd even say that both Shidou and Mahiru wanted to die for the sake of meeting their loved ones again.)

One specific detail I'd like to highlight are Mahiru's shoes.

In Japan there is a custom for people to take off their shoes before entering their homes, as to not track dirt into their houses. As a result of this line of thinking there is also a custom where people take off their shoes before they enter the afterlife as not to track dirt and such into their ethereal destination. Abandoned pairs of shoes in Japanese media have become symbolic of suicides, and they are also common in non-Japanese media.

This specific symbolism is seen an additional time with Mahiru and Kazui's victims in Undercover and Mu in It's Not My Fault, both of which are related to suicide.

In Mahiru first MV, there's always a shot where we can explicitly see her shoes. They're on in the beginning, off when she confesses to her boyfriend and they begin dating, and on again after something happened to her boyfriend.

I believe this may represent she was suicidal during the relationship. Apart from this, there's lots of little details which paint the picture she was unhappy with her life and dating her boyfriend.

When being interviewed, she tends to talk a lot, and she seems to have developed some special feelings for the prison guard, and sometimes also shows a lonely, vacant expression in contrast to her normally bright and cheerful self. [These "special feelings" for Es aren't necessarily romantic. Atleast, it's "love" in the same way Mahiru thinks of a murder prison as a romantic getaway. It's moreso developes a connection with Es because they uniquely give her attention and she finds their hardwork admirable. She finds them kind and, "if youre kind to me I'm going to start relying on you, thanks!"]

"Hello! I’m Shiina Mahiru, 22 years old! I may be incompetent, but it’s a pleasure meeting you!"

Mahiru: Right…… so you too, Mu-chan…Hmm, I guess it’s because of the environment here. Sometimes your mental state has an impact. Mu: …You’re the same, then? …that it’s gone…… Mahiru: …it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine. This sort of thing happens all the time~

I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness I can't stop feeling like there's something missing

We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you'll get angry soon

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad

This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can't come true It's all because of love

Don’t lose focus even when exercising! The pastel tones mean not only do you look ready to go but also give off a cute oneesan appeal. Even for a rougher style of dress you can’t be careless! Painted toenails and a necklace show some attention to detail to make for a sexy casual style. Just because it’s outdoors doesn’t mean you can relax too much! Even when picking out a date outfit to protect you from the cold, you still want to protect that loveable silhouette.

Most damning of all I'll say is Mahiru's parasite cover. The song tells a story about a scorned girlfriend who was used for sex and seeks alcohol in order to deal with her lingering feelings for ex-boyfriend. At one point Miku throws a bouquet back mirroring Mahiru's desire for a wedding.

(hmm funny how the "mahiru is a yandere because she covered psychogram" crowd was silent about this cover i wonder whyyyy)

Why can’t you understand? I hate you! Never touch me again

Wait a second, when did things start going wrong? I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine

It’s even worse when you are nice to me, But I don’t want to be given the cold shoulder [Most of all, Mahiru desires attention from her boyfriend. In her T1 MV she mentions how he "not the brightest so he never notices that I go to the beautician." This is a likely a blow to her self confidence given the heavy emphasis she has on appearing pretty. Sporadically across the magazines there's lines about "not slacking off" in public because people are always watching.]

Hey, give me back the time I used loving you, You liar. But I still love you

Hey, please don’t leave me behind, Hey, I’m hungry [This line always makes me so sad. In Mahiru's cover there's a beep to imply she's leaving this as a voice-mail for her boyfriend. Once again fulfilling our "stay with me always" clinging symbolism quota.]

Pretend not to see spitting out saliva, You're going to throw me away as incombustible waste

It’s just a bunch of “why”, I can’t change, I want to…I don’t want to leave

Hey, I want you to let me hug you at the last moment, thank you. And now, you are too (a parasite)

It's the last line I'd like to highlight because, all in one song, we've reinforced Mahiru's happiness in the relationship and the clinging symbolism. Mahiru and her boyfriend were both parasites who's clung onto eachother and deprived eachother of nutrients. Both of you suck!!

Then there's Mahiru's two symbolic locations: the birdcage and the carousel. Both of Mahiru's mindscapes places her in the same location: her home, as evident by the couches with pillows.

Personally, I subscribe to the idea the Day 16's house belong to Mahiru or it's a shared home with her boyfriend. If the poor financial situation theory is correct then the two might've decided to live together to cut costs (or Mahiru pressured him into agreeing). Her boyfriend works at a convenience store so he's probably not as financially well-off as Mahiru who recieves an allowance.

However, on a subconscious level, Mahiru thinks of her their home as a birdcage. As stated before, bluebirds can't survive in birdcages, and this is represented by her boyfriend's feathers falling from stress. Something interesting I'd like to note is that Mahiru considers leaving the birdcage but instead decides to dive back into the feathers, causing her boyfriend even more stress. Say with me: clinging 👏 until 👏 you 👏 suffocate 👏 imagery.

"Hmm... I’m a little troubled that I can’t go home, but... It’s fine, I guess. Even if I go home, there’s nothing left... And, I find it fun talking to you!"

Then, after her boyfriend's death, she thinks of their home as a carousel ride. The ledge at the beginning of the MV implies that—rather than an expansive space like Mu's beehive—the carousel is a small space. It's only Mahiru, the couch, the carousel, and a dead corspe. All she's able to do is fall asleep or ride the carousel again by herself, knowing she'll have to get off at some point. It's once again that imagery of something which is cramped and suffocating.

Both of her mindscapes cut them off from the outside world. Within her own mind all that matters is simply her and her boyfriend.

04. The Only You Can('t) Leave

Finally, I'd like to note something which has been sitting on my mind: Mahiru's themes of destiny and rebirth.

Q. What do you think happens when people die? Mahiru: They go to heaven!

Lovers committing double suicide believed that they would be united again in heaven, a view supported by feudal teaching in Edo period Japan, which taught that the bond between two lovers is continued into the next world, and by the teaching of Pure Land Buddhism wherein it is believed that through double suicide, one can approach rebirth in the Pure Land.

(big credit to doctorbunny's and archivalofsins's work on the this is how to be inlove with you locations for pointing this out! ily2 please check them out)

On Day 8, Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to go see "Your Name." Take this with a grain salt because I haven't see the actual movie— I refuse to watch a Makoto Shinkai film until he's allowed to write yuri—but the general gist is that two teenagers from 2013 and 2016 end up swapping bodies. Later, it's revealed that Mitsuha, the main heroine, is fated to die from a comet hitting the earth in the future. Fortunately, through time shenanigans, her fate ends up being altered and both teens end up surviving.

A romance movie featuring a dead lover and a mid relationship? Why, it's perfect for Mahiru!

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of soulmate or a destined partner.

Okay, okay, jokes aside that's not the sole reason I'm bringing up Your Name. Ofcourse, what's most interesting is it's theme of soulmates and how it relates to Mahiru.

Mahiru: Yeah. – Him and I… we loved each other. Properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. We met in college… It was the first time for me, so I don’t know if it was good or not, but… I think we were just normally going out together. I thought it was fate. He said it was, too.

Q. How did you meet your lover? Mahiru: We met eyes at the university terrace. I really felt like it was fate.

On the terrace at university, when I met eyes with that person I knew it must be fate. I might have been born purely so I could one day end up together with him. Or not, am I just overthinking things?

I ran into the person I’m interested in at the bread shop. This has to be fate, right? In the end I ended up buying the same bread as he got, but maybe I don’t need this much… > < I wasn’t thinking about the calories.

We went to one of the filming locations for a movie we both like! This sort of thing can only happen in Tokyo huh! It really must be fate that even our taste in movies lines up. I feel like a totally different person to before I met him… [Once again the movie she's talking about Your Name which is one of the highest grossing anime films of all times... bestie... ily but your rose colored glasses are blinding!!!]

Namely, once again, we're reinforcing the theme of clinging together until you suffocate. Two soulmates forced into loving eachother by the hands of fate. It's a very romantic idea twisted into something heart-wrenching.

The idea of "saving your lover from death" is briefly reflected Day 8 where Mahiru gives her boyfriend a hangover cure from called Corspe Reviver. A bit on the nose, don't you think?

This sections dawdles a little bit from the whole Shinju Theory but it felt off if I didn't include it. Given Shidou's entire character revolves around killing in order to save his loved ones, I can almost imagine Mahiru's murder was to save her boyfriend as well. There's not much evidence but... it's certainly there, right?

05. Conclusion

Aha, this post kind of devolved from "heres my shinju theory" and moreso "wow, Mahiru has a lot of suffocation imagery" which is true. There's so much of it. I don't even think this is all of it!

Theres alot more I wanted to add but... I'm not good with writing long posts if you couldn't tell! If anyone would like to add onto this for me I'd be thrilled ❤️

#take a shot every time the word suffocate or clinging crops up #like qjqjajajakak its actually insane to me how many times it pops up like????#I'm not even too confident in this theory because of how much i dawdle around but it's weird right!!!!#milgram #mahiru shiina #milgram theory #<- do not follow me for that tag btw i am not a theorist i just like mahiru alot #꒰ 🕊 ꒱ ── cinnamon lead astray

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pink-strawberry-kissess · 2 years ago

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a vacation with you (leon kennedy x ada wong)

crossposted on my ao3

word count: extremely long (12k)

warnings/tags: fluff, slight angst, eventual smut, long build up, post damnation, (my other fic “a midnight with you,” was written pre re4r so it might make the timeline a bit weird, but ehhh ignore that), remedy for re4r, within my au timeline, alcohol abuse, leon is a mixture of puppy and cocky, explicit smut, canon compliant, Ada wears pretty outfits and Leon stares, Leon is still oblivious, talks about gun shot wounds, violence. LONG FIC

smut!, switches!, ada still tops from the bottom, oral, vaginal sex, overly emotional sex.

With a pair of smiles and a simple handshake; a civil war finally ends. But he knew that it was never really that simple. That it was all a tangled webs of lies for the sake of peace. For the idea of peace. Leon stares aimlessly at the tv screen, watching as it broadcasted the breaking news. A voice is still projected out from the cellphone on the table. His fingers are tight on the fully filled shot glass in his hand. He can hear her, but the words are mostly going in one ear and out the other. It’s the same.

Again and again.

The tv screen goes black. The now empty shot glass in his hand slamming down onto the wooden table.

“I’m not going anywhere-” he finally responds to her. Hunnigan waits patiently on the other side of the line with a concerned expression. He slowly rises from his seat, gathering the small phone in his hand.

“-in the end, nothing’s really changed,” he mutters, ending the call promptly.

Maybe nothing ever really changes.

Leon spent the last of his vacation days all at once. Choosing to stay at a tropical resort while wasting his nights away at the bar. He’d promise himself he would slow down at some point. He never really sticks to that promise.

The night had gone on far too long. Each new drink placed in front of him were all the same beach themed cocktails, mixed with the same regurgitated flavours with an aftertaste of regret. That’s a problem for tomorrow, he’s on vacation after all. They all taste the same and simply make it easier for him. So he can stop thinking. So he can stop feeling anything.

His speech is almost to the point of slurry. He’s been drunk before, but this was even too far for him. Surely, the blonde bartender would have cut him off by now, but she seemed to be more than happy to be supplying him with more than he can handle.

“Not sure I like you like this.”

A familiar voice. Soft yet firm. Her inviting scent fills his nose almost immediately.

His brows knitted together, a soon to be permanent crease was forming on his forehead. He begrudgingly twisted his head so he could catch a glimpse of her. His gaze is pointed downwards, red heels with delicate thin straps wrapped around her ankles. Without any inhibitions stopping him, he takes the time to eye her long legs until he sees the edge of her short skirt.

“I’m not sure what you mean by that,” he mutters. His hand still wraps around his glass, his finger nervously tapping against it. He feels the condensation wetting his fingertip and lets go, wiping his hands against his thigh as if to comfort himself in his seat. He reverts back to the same position, keeping himself as steady as possible despite the alcohol coursing through him.

She takes the seat next to him. Ordering some sort of dark red drink with a rum soaked cherry placed in as a garnish. In his peripheral, he takes his time to take her all in. Eyeing the flowing red dress that hugged her curves. The billowing fabric of the skirt creating the illusion of a dance, making each swish and kick of her feet as she crossed her legs all the more tantalizing. Her skin exposed from her dress had a touch of the sun, and he silently wondered if she had been staying here just as long as he had.

Ada’s playing with the cherry in her drink. Pinching the stem between her manicured fingers and swirling it around in the red liquor before popping it between her lips. Bursting the red berry as she twists the stem away and throws it into a dish on the counter.

“This,” she pauses and grasps her glass to take a sip. Gingerly placing it back down after letting out a short exhale. The contents of the glass swirl in her hand as she circles her drink on the table. The ice cubes floating around in the sea of red.

“You’ve been so drunk every night, you barely make it to your room,” she turns her head towards him. A disapproving look painted on her face as her lips flattens into a line.

“What are you, my mother?” he shakes his head and empties his glass, tossing his head back. The bits of ice clinking together as he slams the glass back down.

“Are you still angry with me?” She quips back, still swirling her glass in her hand.

Not waiting for Leon’s response, Ada’s gaze fell onto the bartender as the blonde made her walk back, gathering Leon’s empty glass in a swift single movement along the way. She offers another drink with a sly smile. One that strikes Ada as a bit too flirtatious for her liking.

“I’ll close the tab for the night,” Ada offers. The thin black plastic is pressed loosely between her thumb and finger as she presents it with a flourish of her hand before sliding it closely towards the bartender.

Leon scoffs, his entire chest shaking with his laugh.

“Just a water then,” he asks with a raised open hand.

Ada sips on her drink as they wait in an uncomfortable silence. As the bartender returns with the glass of water and the cheque for Leon’s drinks along with Ada’s. The bartender eyes widen as she flusters, her cheeks growing red as she reads the writing on the bill. Ada’s delicate cursive showcasing a generous tip. A tip that was nearly double the total of Leon’s bill.

“Uhh- thank you,” the bartender mutters with a smile. The holder is tightly pressed between her fingers before she shoves the holder into her apron and nervously grabs a wet towel from behind her.

“I really need to close up soon actually, thanks,” she sheepishly waves at Leon then nodding at Ada. A beat passes before she scurries away to the other side of the counter to clean up. Seeing some sort of prior connection between the man she had been supplying with drinks for the past few nights and the new woman in red- it was not a confrontation she wanted to deal with for the night.

“Do I even have to ask where that money came from?” Leon points towards Ada’s card as she tucks it away.

“Leon, you know I don’t mix business with pleasure,” her hand returns to the drink, swirling the last bit of the cherry liquor. The colour much more diluted with the melted ice.

“Ada… what are you doing here?” He exasperatedly asks with a dejected look on his face.

“Well it’s certainly not for business,” she raises a single brow at him.

His curiosity is piqued, his expression mirroring hers.

She knew better than to wait this long to meet up with him again. Seeing him night after night, drunker and drunker. She was more surprised he hadn’t gotten alcohol poisoning at this point. What a joke.

Leon survives disasters like the 1998 Raccoon City incident but he’s defeated by alcohol poisoning?

It was easy to keep an eye on him and she grew quite fond of keeping tabs on him. Sometimes worrying too much. She often questioned herself on why she took so much time and effort to keep him safe from a distance. Closing that distance terrified and excited her all at once. Her apprehension was cemented on the idea that he no longer wanted to see her anymore. Her distance from him always kept her heart safe. The struggle between choosing what goes on in her head and her heart has lead her here again.

The trek back to his hotel was a also a joke, as the time spent getting him to his room was exhausting for the both of them.

Leon is absolutely plastered. His cheeks red hot and even with the fan above the bed, it can barely cool him off. His only options were to suffer through it all, black out, or empty the contents of his stomach. None of them seeming to be a pleasant way for the night to end.

All he remembered was leaving the bar and somehow he was back in his resort room again. Laying on top of the sheets as he stared at the dizzying spiralling fan above him.

Ada finishes undoing the straps of her shoes, the tiny heels clicking on the tiling as she drops them off near the wall of the entrance room.

The bed dips with her weight as she leans over him. Her face grimaces, trying to determine the same options Leon had.

“Do I need to get the ice bucket?” She asks with a frown.

“I’ll tell you when my head stops spinning.”

“Ice bucket it is,” she begins to raise from the bed. Her movements are stalled she feels her wrist tightly gripped by Leon’s fingers.

“Are you going to leave me again?” His gaze meets hers, a shade of clarity in his baby blues as he stares her down.

She pauses.

“Only to get the bucket,” she finally responds. Her free hand rests against his for a moment before gently prying his fingers away from her wrist.

Standing in the bathroom, she glances around. The towels he had used were hung up still, albeit without the pristine touch of housekeeping. All the necessities are laid out on the counter, hotel shampoos and soaps all lined up in some manner. Some opened haphazardly.

Even with a government salary, he’s still using hotel soaps.

In the heat of the tropical weather, there’s a soft glow to her skin. A sheen she feels against her cheeks. Tapping it away with a tissue, she takes one more look at herself in the mirror. Her expression is vulnerable. Unsure and overly contemplative. Someone who’s letting her emotions take over. The piercing look in her eyes are too much for herself to handle. She turns, struggling to see the reflection staring back at her.

Leon’s head is pounding, his chest and stomach feeling full and like he’s on fire. The fan is circling on the highest setting and it’s still not cooling the room fast enough.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” she whispered and delicately laid an ice cold towel over his forehead and neck. Leon lets out a few groans of relief, feeling the soft cold terry cloth already making his mind clearer.

She takes her time to look over him. His dirtied blond hair matted to his forehead with his sweat. The hot sun had tinted his skin with a warmer glow, giving him a few freckles against the high points of his cheeks. But his blue eyes were tired and lost.

With a large exhale, her chest lowered. Her fingers reached out to flip the towels over, giving him more of the cooling feeling he so desperately needed. He groaned again, satisfied with the relief.

“Get some sleep Leon,” she whispers again. His eyes are still pointed at the fan. Swirling and swirling. A few more blinks and his eyes are shut, his chest rising steadily along with each breath.

The morning light fills the entire bedroom in that pleasantly annoying way. The sun is so perfectly bright and beautiful but Leon struggles to keep the light away, shielding his eyes with his arm as he struggles to fall asleep again. He can’t. His head is still pounding. Albeit more tolerable than last night. But more sleep is exactly what he wanted, he’s on vacation after all. Already regretting his choices yet again, he takes a few seconds to recount his night.

He had dinner by the little restaurant near the hotel, the bar. Drinks. More drinks. Even more drinks. Red cherry. The red drink. Red dress. The woman at the bar.

Ada.

His eyes snap open. The ice bucket is still on the floor next to the night stand. Thankfully empty. A tall glass of water and two round white pills are set onto the table along with a note card. His shoulders sunk, already dreading flipping the card to read it.

He couldn’t remember the night fully. Like it was just bits and pieces slowly coming back to him. All of his questions flooded in waves, pounding against his temples. The tidal wave question is promptly answered as he hears the hotel door swinging open.

His heart pounds as he leans his head just enough to see the door in his peripheral. Catching a glimpse of her dark black hair cascading and framing her face as she plucked off her shoes at the entryway.

“You’re up,” she hummed. Her outfit changed, a plunging halter dress in a subtle floral pattern. In her favourite colour of course. The few flowers were accented in shades of coral, complimenting her skin tone. She looked so refreshed, like how one should on vacation.

“Did you-?”

“Stay the night?” She finishes his question.

Leon nods his head.

“Well, considering you fell asleep right in the middle of the bed and you barely made any room for me,” she smiled and walked over towards him.

“I had to sleep in my own hotel room for the night. Came back in the morning to see you were still sleeping, so-” she pauses as she offers the him the water.

“For your hangover, which I assume you have,” she drops the two pills into his open palm.

He takes them in a few seconds. Popping the pills and downing the entire glass.

Silence fills the room again. The quietness only ending as Leon leans over to drop off the glass onto the night stand. She’s still here. Even if she didn’t stay the night. She’s still here. His hand twists at the sheets that lay underneath it. Wanting to reach over to her. Ada sits just a bit too far away from him. Just out of reach.

“Why are you here, Ada?” He asks in a single breath.

“I thought you were on vacation?”

“You know to be honest, I wasn’t expecting breakfast on the beach,” Leon smiled, chuckling as he dug into his eggs. The table is delicately decorated with an array of breakfast foods, filled with more sustancence than either of them could feasibly eat. Set in middle is a freshly picked bouquet of flowers in a crystal votive. His fork is inching towards a small bowl of freshly cut fruit, the orange and pink colours contrasting against the bright blue ocean in front of them.

“Do you know how to have a vacation?” She asked as she lowered her brown tinted sunglasses, eyeing him as she grabbed her drink. The pinky coloured glass was filled to the brim with ice, topped with a pastel pink paper umbrella and a cherry floating against the surface.

He teased her with a simple shake of his head.

She smiled, her head lowering to take a sip of her drink. She stared as his fork struggled, trying to poke at the fruit in the bowl. With a hum she grabbed her own fork, piercing the tropical fruit and presenting him the juiciest piece. Teasing him as she loosened her grip on the fork, steering the fruit away from him briefly.

His eyes narrowed, smile still on his face before he leaned in further to grab the fruit with a playful bite. Her lips curl upward as she pulls back the empty fork, digging in to grab another piece of fruit for herself.

The ocean is a deep blue. Crisp and clear and goes on forever. A sense of calm showers over them at the sight and sounds of the roaring waves as it continually crashes onto the shore. After they’re both satisfied with the meal, the breakfast table is cleared. A pair of empty lounge chairs are nearby, and little time is spent thinking on it before they occupy the both of them. The hot sun still high in the sky, annoying Leon briefly as he’d forgotten his sunglasses back in his hotel room.

“I suppose we’re just going to sit here all day then? Enjoy the sun?”

“You’ve never just relaxed before, have you Agent Kennedy?” Ada groans lightly, having apparently been enjoying the comfortable silence between them. She hums and sits up straight in her seat. Reaching downward in between their seats, she digs around in a woven beach bag that laid in the sand. Leon squints his eyes, trying to keep the sun out as he watches her rifling through her bag. It doesn’t go unnoticed by her as she chucks over a pair of spare sunglasses towards him.

He holds them, noticing the rather delicate design and some sort of designer logo branding on the side. Still holding them and now staring at her, he blinks a few times as she pulls out a deep blue plastic bottle. The labelling on it is decorated with waves and a happy little yellow sun on it.

“Are you going to keep staring?” She asks with a raise of her brow, flicking the top off of the bottle and allowing a dollop of the lotion to fall into her palm. Tossing the bottle aside in a few beats as she closes it and chucks it back into her bag.

“No, I-”

“Are you blushing?” She smirks as she slathers the lotion between her hands, the semi translucent cream coating her skin as she gingerly applies it onto her arms. Taking care to avoid her dress as she takes the rest towards her legs. Leon’s head is turned away just enough, although his eyes are still peering at her as she lifts the edge of her dress just enough as she rubs the lotion against her thighs.

He swallows, “can I- borrow some?” He clears his throat as he sits up straighter in his seat, his fingers neatly laying the sunglasses on the armrest of his chair.

“Sure, knock yourself out,” she adjusts her sunglasses and lays back down in her lounge seat. Stretching out her legs as she does so. He hesitates for a second before realizing he’d have to do it himself. A second passes before he leans into the side towards her bag. Thankfully the lotion remained at the top, making it so he didn’t need to dig for it.

Ada's proposal for breakfast had encouraged him enough to take a shower in the morning. A contemplative and regret filled shower in the mornings was usually the norm. But the prospects of breakfast with Ada was enough for him to be washed up in minutes.

As he stepped out of the bathroom, Ada caught a glimpse of him as he walked over to the closet and his suitcase. In his haste, the towel he wore was loosely tied around his waist. Only when she let out a brief clearing of her throat did he remember she was still sitting on his bed.

“I’ll be outside,” she smirks, holding onto her bag as she slips out from his room.

He had changed into a light coloured and comfortable fitting t-shirt button down and a pair of dark charcoal swim shorts. The hot sun had already dried his dark blond locks. Making his hair more bouncy and fluffy looking. His feet were bare, his sandals kicked off towards the side of his seat.

Behind the tinted shades of her sunglasses, she peered at him as he struggled to open the bottle. His hand then squeezing an obscenely large amount of the lotion into his opposite hand whilst also trying to close the bottle. Then struggling as he tried to strip himself of his shirt.

“Need a hand, handsome?”

“S-sure,” he exhaled a laugh.

He blushes at the pet name while sitting patiently as she left her seat and crawled over onto his. His eyes drop towards her hips and thighs as she sits dangerously close to his lap. His body reacting as calmly as he could as she begins to pry his shirt off. He watches her as she presented her open palm, seemingly waiting for him to grasp hers with the large amount of lotion still spilling out from his hand.

In an awkward handshake, she gathers the amount and watches for him to give her the go ahead. He gives her a simple nod and verbal hum.

Her hands are so soft and supple, so much smoother than his.

She glides the lotion across his shoulders first and down towards his chest. A playful dab of it is against his nose as he loses focus for a moment. Not catching her as she rubs the smallest amount of the lotion against his nose and the high points on his cheeks.

“I probably could’ve done that on my own,” he refutes with a small pout of his lips.

She simply rolls her eyes and continues, her hands still running along his arms. Feeling every muscle, scar and pulsing vein. Reaching along his arm and towards his chest again she catches a glimpse of his scar. That one that never faded.

The one she knew all too well.

The way her hands move along him is all too familiar, and foreign at the same time. Like he has to remember her again. Like the memory of her is still there, but it’s new also. How she touches him, how it makes him feel. Lost in the comfortable pleasure of it, he barely notices her as she stalls. Her fingers barely grazing his gunshot scar. That little reminder he received those years ago. That piercing wound that rewarded him with two mirroring scars from his chest to back. A single bullet that pierced him straight through.

If it were only a few inches lower or towards his centre, he could’ve had a completely different outcome. Both of them reminisce on this for a moment, remembering how he shielded her with his body without any hesitation. Not caring where any stray bullet could have landed. Any second sooner or later, everything could’ve ended differently. It was Leon’s decision to protect her after all. His choosing hesitate will always change things, alter things. If he choose to hesitate then- everything would be different.

She’s still staring at his scar. A moment that doesn’t go unnoticed by him as the pause lingers too long.

“Anywhere else?” He swallows. His eyes catching hers, that warm shade of honey brown that he can get lost in seconds. The way they glow when the sun hits it, it’s so warm.

Her dark lashes flutter, an anxious tick she has sometimes as she tries to compose herself. Her pink tongue escapes to lick against her glossy red lips, as if to prepare herself to speak.

“Just a bit more,” she lathers the last of the lotion against the exposed parts of his legs. Rubbing the excess of the lotion between her palms.

“I don’t suppose you’re in the mood for lunch any time soon, are you?” She asks, her exposed thigh pressed against him as she stay seated nearly in his lap. The feeling of her doesn’t go unnoticed by him, her warmth from her legs only amplified from the hot sun.

“Normally I would, but with how big breakfast was- I might actually be able to wait for an early dinner,” he chuckled warmly, his eyes squinting at her as the sun shone brighter for a moment. A scatter of clouds cleared in the sky, no longer filtering the sun’s bright rays. She nods, seemingly happy with his answer.

“…And I don’t suppose you’ve already explored the island?” He asks with a raised brow.

“I have, some. I know that you haven’t,” she quips back.

“Should I ask how many days you’ve been here? Watching me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’ve seen the spa, the local shops. I love supporting small business,” she giggles warmly to herself. Her laughter warms his heart in a soft way he didn’t expect. It fills him and floods his chest, giving him fluttering butterflies that spring around wildly inside.

“Well, how do you feel about showing me the best parts of the island then? Since you’re the connoisseur of vacations,” he teased with a cock of his head.

There’s a brightness in his eyes. Maybe it’s the bright blue of the ocean reflecting off of his own ocean blues. The clouds of grey seems to have gone away. A sparkle reignited. The way his smile curves, it’s confident yet he’s hesitant to hear her answer. Like his body is nervously waiting for her reaction. His eyes are only stuck on her. The ocean crashing onto the shore fills the void before her answer reaches his ears.

The waters are cooling to the skin, even against the hot sun. Despite being in the water, Ada wears a beige woven sun hat. One with a wide brim that shields her face from the sun's rays. Leon tries his best to avoid looking at her too often. Occasionally catching the bright red of her bikini top and bottoms in his peripheral It's so absurdly distracting, how thin the straps are, tied in such simple knots that bind around her shoulders and the sides of her hips.

They’ve been walking around in shallow waters, just enough to reach their calves as the water moves towards them. Bringing them closer to the shore as they venture out further and further into the sea. The crystal waters glitter in bright white lights reflecting the sun.

His hands are in the water now, swaying and playing with the tops of it. He has the urge to dive in, get fully soaked. And the urges take over easily as he gives her a playful look before clasping his hands together to dive in. The splash is loud, the water flinging in every direction as he makes a few passes with his arms, his legs kicking about as he swims a few meters into the water. His head is wet with water, his hair soaked as he wrings out just enough to keep the water from dripping onto his face.

“And here I thought you weren’t capable of having fun,” she calls out towards him, still enjoying walking around and dragging her feet in the soft sands.

“I could say the same for you, aren’t you diving in?” His eyes narrow at her, a growing grin on his face. The water feels amazing, and he can’t help but submerge himself again. He rises up moments later, shaking his head like a puppy to rid of the water. His hair flying every which was as he shakes off the excess.

“Oh I’ve done my fill of swimming for now. I’m perfectly happy walking around in the water,” she fixes her sun hat. Lifting her head just enough to see him still shaking off the water from his hair.

“That’s not as fun.”

Leon’s strong arms take him towards her quickly, the waves aiding him towards the shore as he reaches her in seconds. Her voice is caught in her throat as she feels his warm hands around her waist, bringing her deeper and deeper into water. Her laughter fills his ears as she struggles to avoid getting more soaked. Her hands tightly grabbing his wrists. The momentum of the water is too strong for the both of them. A wave splashing them and submerging them in the sea water.

“I’m sorry about your hat,” Leon half grimaces as he sees Ada struggling to shake the water out of her soaked woven sun hat.

“It’s fine. Who knew you could be so spontaneous,” she teased and held her soaking hat in her hand as they walked back towards the shore.

He watches her as they walk. Her dark hair is soaked, some of her fringe stuck against her forehead as the water drips slowly down her temples and her cheeks. He feels the urge to brush the stray hairs away, fix them for her that he knows that surely she would want them to be. And yet he can’t help but see how imperfectly perfect it is. Moments of clarity where she just seems like her most natural self. A smile on her face, a warm blush on her cheeks. The rose colour of her lips. The water droplets that continually drip down her body and along every curve.

“Leon?”

“What is it?” he asks, being shaken out of his trance.

“Still feel like exploring the island?”

The first point of their excursion consists of a small gift shop. Riddled with tropical themed items, ocean related knick knacks and a selection of key chains of various ocean related animals. Leon’s quick to replace Ada’s ruined sun hat, finding one similar and holding onto it. While her eyes are stuck on the keychains, her fingers carding through the animals and palm tree charms that were hooked onto the display.

The rest of the shelves are filled with first aid and emergency items, and an array of sunblock and lotions. The previous aisle he was in housed the clothing; sunhats, bathing suits and beach coverups. Leon is mindlessly walking down the the rest of the aisles in the shop, only pausing occasionally to look for Ada and her whereabouts.

She’s still looking through the keychains.

Standing in front of one of the shelves he looks outside the glass window of the shop. Seeing a few people as they also explored the shops, all decked out in swimsuits and tropical wear. He’s so distracted he barely notices the stand in front of him. Looking downward he’s faced with a line of personal care items. Stumbling, he sees a row of small rectangular boxes of condoms, along with a pink plastic bottle of oil, or something- He’s too embarrassed to acknowledge anything else as he briskly walks as far as he can from the shelf.

Ada’s lips are pursed as she hums and tilts her head from side to side. Her eyes set between two different keychains. Both with adorable little animals attached to them.

“Did you find anything you’d like?” Ada asks him, not even looking away from the keychains between her hands.

“Uhh, well I figure I should get you a new sun hat, since I ruined your other one,” he smiles. Presenting her with a similar style sun hat. Although a lot less refined looking. The bow around the head of the hat is a bit too cheap looking for her tastes.

“You didn’t find anything for yourself that you’d like?” She looks up at him, the two key rings still hung between her two index fingers.

“Which one do you like better?” She asks as she lifts them upward just a few inches towards his face. Leon stares between the two animal charms, his eyes going cross eyed for a moment before he alternates between the two.

“They’re both cute, I guess,” he gives her a half smile.

She pouts and whines, “you guess?” She lowers towards the rack again, picking through them again to see if she had missed any of the other animals. He can’t help but eye her as she bends over slightly. The edge of her dress hitting right at her upper thighs. A cough interrupts his thoughts, the young looking cashier giving him some sort of a sly look; noticing that Leon was clearly checking out Ada’s ass. Leon gives him a sheepish grin before clearing his throat himself.

“Uh pick whichever one you like, I’ll buy it. Along with the hat,” he gestures by raising the sun hat. The little hand written price tag still wagging and twisting on its little plastic thread.

The sun hat is packed in a comically large paper bag, along with the charm that Ada had purchased on her own, away from Leon's prying eyes and despite Leon’s protests. He retaliated by insisting on carrying the gift bag along with her soaked sunhat, while they explored more of the island. Passing by other little gift shops and art galleries, all filled with shades of blues and sandy taupes.

The selection of restaurants were few and far between. Mostly ranging from small mom and pop shops, to a few more fine dining restaurants that lined the shoreline. Opulently styled settings in private sections of the beach that allowed the most romantic outings. Ada had already been eyeing one of the tables as it sat almost too perfectly close to the waters. As if the ocean waves could’ve brushed against their feet. The table is decorated with a few glass votives with candles that burned and illuminated the space. The arrangement of flowers are unique and displayed in an organic shaped vase.

After the few hours of walking around and exploring the island, they were more than eager to take a seat for a bit.

“Let me guess, you want to have dinner there?” He smirked and gestured towards the empty tables that lined the beach. His brows raising as if he were interested as well.

“Well if you’re offering,” her expression mirroring his.

Leon watched her carefully as she sat with the menu. A page of it pressed between her fingers as she flipped it. The ends of her hair were curled inward around her neck as they dried from the salt water and sun. The rest of her hair dried in beach-y waves that framed her face. Her other hand rested against her cheek, her elbow pressed against the top of the table. Her skin was even more tanned, the tops of her shoulders blushing almost pink. The red corals of her dress were highlighted and complemented by the orange sun as it slowly set in the distance.

The skies were painted in shades of orange, pink and purples. The water slow as it moved towards them. The shade of the ocean deeper and darker as night slowly creeped along the horizon.

“Have you eaten here before?” He asks as he plays with the menu before pushing it to the side to relax in his seat. Taking a moment to enjoy the sunset.

“I haven’t,” she murmurs from behind the menu.

“Really? I’m surprised, this really seems like the place you’d want to go,” his lips turned into an upside down smile.

She responds simply by laying another page of the menu down, reading the new page as it listed its mains and desserts at the bottom.

As the night creeps closer, he takes a moment to pry.

“Ada, why did you choose here? On this island of all places?” He asks, sitting straight in his seat. Trying his best to appear as still as possible. The slight change in his tone of voice and the cooling breeze brings a chill to her skin.

The waiter returns. Of course at the most opportune time to interrupt as she lists off their specials for the night. The steak and seafood dish piques Leon’s interest, while more than a few of the specials interests Ada.

“I’ll give you two a few more moments to decide,” the waiter smiles warmly and sets down two glasses of ice cold water onto their table before briskly walking away. Ada brings the water closer to her side. Feeling the cold moisture of the glass in her fingers as she brings the glass to her lips for a sip. Leon follows suite, mirroring her to take a sip as well. The ice cold feeling shooting right through him and towards his chest and stomach.

She lays the glass back down. Her fingers reaching to play with one of the leaves in the flower arrangement on the table, “Can’t a girl enjoy a vacation as well?”

“On the same island that I decided to vacation at?”

“Oh, please, I heard of this place before you did,” she hummed, her fingers pressing into one of the soft petals of the flowers. She’d rather lie than admit she only came here to see him again.

The appetizers arrive quickly. Along with a single drink for Ada as Leon refrained from drinking for the evening meal. Each dish is fresh and tasty, not that they expected any differently. And Leon is more than happy to dig into a juicy steak. The view couldn’t be beat either. The setting sun, the scent of the ocean, the ambience of the waves and the flickering candles on the table. And Ada sitting on the other side of him, enjoying her meal with a smile on her face.

She watches him too. Digging into his meal so quickly, she’s almost afraid he won’t be able to enjoy it as well if he doesn’t slow down. She pauses to sip on her drink. She’s always been a light drinker. One drink for dinner occasionally. Rarely does she have two. The mixture of liquors and bitters in it accents the citrus well in her drink. Making her take her time with it to allow the flavours to mingle together. Her slower pace only encourages Leon to slow his as well, allowing them to enjoy the sun as begins its descent.

The wax melts, pooling into the crystal votives. The shades in the sky are even darker as the sun hits the horizon, creeping lower and lower into the sea.

Leon smiles as he watches her digging into her dessert. A strawberry pierced onto her fork as she takes the smallest bite from it. Savouring every little piece.

“You want any?” She quirks her head. Presenting him with a piece of it. Some sort of cake coated with caramel and some sort of drizzle of chocolate as well.

He hesitates only for a second and silently leans in, jutting out his chin towards her and playfully takes the bite.

“That’s too sweet,” he licks his lips clean. Tasting the sugars and creams on his tongue.

“A bit, but I like it,” she presses the prongs of the fork against her bottom lip. Tapping them against them inquisitively before digging back into her sweets.

They argue over the bill for a while. The waitress finally asking for at least one of them to pay.

“You two are adorable. How long have you two been together?” She asks with a smile, her hands still on the cheque holder as she waits for Leon to finish signing the bill.

Leon’s pen stalls on the paper, his eyes widening as he looks up at Ada, “Uh-”

“This is our first date? Maybe second?” Ada responds cooly, her almost empty glass balanced between her fingers.

“Could’ve fooled me,” the waitress smiles warmly, grabbing the bill from Leon after he quickly scribbled the rest.

“Thanks you two, I hope you enjoy your date night!” she smiles cheerfully. She bids them farewell with a playful wink and then a wave goodbye with the cheque holder in her hands, eager to walk away and see the hefty tip that Leon had left her.

The walk back towards the hotel isn’t too long. But without the commotion of the day, the night is a lot quieter than they expected. The silence between them isn’t uncomfortable. But comfortable wasn’t the right word either.

“So a date, huh?”

“Well, what else was it?” Ada hums and gathers the strap of her bag. Readjusting it on her shoulder. She quietly grimaces to herself. Spending all day with Leon in the hot sun. The fact she didn’t wear her hat for most of the day didn’t help either with preventing the slight sunburn that was forming on the tops of her shoulders and back. Leon catches on quick, noticing the redness slowly creeping onto her skin.

“Here,” he offers with his free hand. The other still holding into the gift bag from the shop.

“What a gentleman,” grins, delicately handing him her bag. She rolls her shoulders, trying to ignore the slight irritation.

“I guess I should’ve applied your sunblock on for you,” he pouts his lips, watching her as she tapped against her shoulders to try and alleviate some of the pain.

“What so you can have your hands all over me?”

Leon’s mouth falls open, “No! That’s not what I meant!” His hands splayed open, innocently facing upwards and out.

“So cute,” she responds with an airy giggle.

Leon’s free hand had been in his pocket for a while now. Palming the keycard for his hotel room as they approached closer towards their pairs of accommodations. His hand sweats as they approach the hallway towards his room. She’s still walking next to him, all the way up towards the doorway.

“I um,” he gathers the gift bag along with her woven tote bag. Both of the straps in his palm. The straps feel hot in his hand. Maybe his hands are just hot. The keycard is still in his other hand. He watches her, all she’s doing is smiling softly. Staring at him and nothing else. He fights inside of himself.

Tell her good night. Tell her you had a good day with her. Tell her that despite everything between them, today meant a lot to him. Tell her good night. Tell her good night.

“Did you want to come in? I might have something for your sunburn,” he gestures towards his hotel door with his free hand.

“Sure,” she responds and turns towards the door to slide a key card into the silver handle. The light turns green as the locking mechanism turns. He takes no time to rationalize why she had a key card to his hotel room or the fact that he’d already forgotten that in the morning that she returned to his room without any issues; and simply twisted the handle to open it.

He waits for her to enter and flicks on the lights afterwards. The entry area that greets them before the bedroom is lit up in a warm glow. The rest of the hotel room dimly lit by the light from the window. Leon isn’t unfamiliar with the sight of her in his hotel rooms. They were the few common places they’d run into together. More often than not with the night ending with them tangled between each other and the sheets; and with him finding the bed empty in the mornings.

Ada makes her way towards the other side of his hotel room. Taking a moment to have a glance outside of the window to see the ocean. “Well, I have to admit your view is better than mine,” she hums and takes a seat on the window sill.

The door closes and locks, and he drops off the bags near the door. Exhaling deeply he closes the distance in a few steps and stands next to her at the window.

“I doubt that,” he exhales a chuckle, his gaze fixated on her profile as she stares outside.

“I love being near the ocean,” she whispers, almost too quiet for Leon to hear.

“Really?” He quirks a brow, taking a moment to look out the window as well.

“It’s so freeing. The waters are so blue. They can be so calming and relaxing with soft waves, and yet can grow dangerous with strong storms. They feel unpredictable yet so tranquil and peaceful at the same time,” she explains with a smile on her face, her eyes still stuck on the crashing waves.

“I didn’t know you could be so sentimental,” he exhales a laugh through his nose. His arms cross his chest as he leans his shoulder against the wall next to the window.

He eyes her exposed shoulder again, seeing her reddening skin.

“Sit tight, I’ll grab something for your burns,” he presses off the wall from his shoulder and heads to the bathroom. The light illuminates from there and seeps into the bedroom as he digs through one of his travel bags.

Ada grazes her fingers along her shoulders again, silently cursing herself for not realizing how hot it was today. It’s tender to the touch and slightly painful each time her fingertips press too harshly.

Leon returns with a few things in his hands. Setting them on the window sill as he pours a clear substance into his palm.

“May I?” He asks firmly this time. Polite but with authority. She responds by slipping the straps down her shoulders whilst holding the bodice of her dress with her other hand. Sitting down next to her, he gently applies the gel. The immediate cooling affects already working as she lets out a soft sigh. His hands are gentle and timid. The sheer size of them taking over most of her shoulder. His two fingers are gently ghosting along the tops of her shoulders, dragging downwards towards the rest of the burn. His eyes trail along her décolleté, briefly catching the way her hands are pressed into her breasts. His eyes snap back to his fingers as they follow along and reach the other side of her chest. He eyes her own scar. A reflection of his. Hers had healed a lot better than his. A mere white circle that most would miss. He coats her other shoulder with the gel, his eyes still on the scar.

His throat is loud as he swallows, seeing her hands as she holds the top of her dress, the plunging neckline showcasing her full breasts in front of him.

“You’re staring, Leon,” she whispers in a low voice.

“I’m just making sure I got all of it,” he narrows his eyes at her. He runs his hand along her chest again finishing as he reaches her left shoulder.

“Here, use this if you want,” he offers a cool towel.

She simply shakes her head, “whatever you used was good enough. I already feel a lot better,” she tilts her upward to meet his gaze. “Thank you,” she hums with an appreciative tone, their faces are only mere inches apart.

“S-sure,” he nods.

They sit together, enjoying the ocean as it continually brushes onto the sands. As the night goes on, they relax in the comfort of his hotel room. The quiet between them slowly growing more and more comfortable. The space between them growing smaller and smaller. The inevitable always happens, and yet they’ve haven’t crossed that line yet. Leon eyes the bed. It’s been made in the same pristine way it had been every day. Crease less and clinical with how the pillows are placed and fluffed.

“Getting tired?”

Leon is not tired. He is in fact, entirely wide awake. Being on vacation, he supposes there is no bedtime. He takes a pause before shaking his head, “are you?”

She repeats his head shaking, no.

He doesn’t hesitate.

“Will you stay?”

They don’t remember how they ended up on the bed. Ada’s tucked in between Leon’s arm and chest with her head resting on him. The fan blades are circling above them, fanning them with soft cool air. Leon feels her hand dragging her fingertip against his shirt.

Both of them are still wide awake. The light is still on. Clothes still on. They’re simply silent between each other. Only their soft breathing and the thumping of Leon’s heart is heard from Ada. Leon’s focusing on the fan above them, wanting to focus on anything other than her warm body against him. Her intoxicating scent and the way it tingles through his body.

His eyes lazily fall down from the ceiling and along the wall. His head twists just enough to see her hand against his chest. Repeating the same patterns.

“What do you think we’re doing?”

“I ask myself that quite often,” she hums and twists her head to get into a more comfortable position. The way she sways her head splays more of her hair onto his chest. The soft scent of her shampoo and the air of the ocean still lingers. It’s gentle and fragrant. Contrasting the sweet and dark scent of her perfume that she often wears. He can still smell her, inhaling more of her as his chest rises.

His arm tenses around her, bringing her closer onto his chest. His other hand nervously pressing his own fingers into his palm. Pressure placed onto the meaty part of his thumb. A pressure that’s almost painful before he releases. He repeats the same action a few times.

He remembers one of the times they were in a hotel room together, she had all of the upper hand. Damn the dress she wore. Like it was made for her as it hugged every single curve of her body, like it was a second skin. The glittering fabrics caught his eye every single second he tried to turn away. Like a moth to a flame, he kept chasing her. The very memory of it is in the forefront of his mind. And he’s unsure if he wants to repeat it. She hadn’t initiated anything yet. Simply resting on top of him as she drew nonsensical patterns and shapes on his shirt.

His fingers release from the fist it was stuck in. Reaching to grasp at her wrist, pulling her hand away from his chest.

Ada’s expression is unreadable. In the dim light, he can barely make out anything from her. Any minute detail is hard to see. If the expression in her eyes change. If her lips upturn or downturn. Her hand remains limp in his grasp. Not fighting him, but not giving in either.

“I don’t want this to be a mistake,” he whispers, his fingers are tender on her skin. Pressing his index finger gently into the soft part of her wrist. Splaying his fingers and intertwining with her fingers.

Her fingers are laying straight, taking their time to curl into his. He watches as their hands fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle.

“Let’s not make any mistakes then,” she exhales. Her voice shaking only for a second. Almost imperceivable, but Leon can hear it. He can feel her loosening up in his embrace. Her body growing languid as she melts into him.

She’s afraid.

She’s never afraid.

He urges her upward, rising up in the bed with her. Her head questioning him with a small tilt. She stares at him intently, the darks of her growing. With his arm slipping away he hovers above her. His arms on either side of her head, pressed chest to chest. The muscles in his arms tense as he keeps his weight off of her, caging her beneath him. He watches her with an expression he hadn’t seen before. Although he doesn’t have much time to decipher it as she angles her head closer to his.

With the tiniest space between them, she raises her arms to grasp the sides of his face. Reading his expression one last time before she makes the surge forward.

Her lips are soft. And barely there. He can feel her warmth, her soft breath.

It’s timid. Unsure and shy.

He feels his hair falling and cascading onto her face. And her fingers spreading through his hair to push it out of the way. How tender her hands are.

The softest kiss.

Having spent the entire day with her. All he can think of is this moment. Another kiss. The soft presses of his lips against hers. Trailing along her cheeks and down her jawline and neck. He grasps the straps of her dress, watching her with careful eyes as he drags them down. Exposing her breasts to him. She’s a delicious dessert and he’d spent all day wanting it.

She helps him as he tugs and pulls her dress off. Shedding the rest of her clothing until she’s completely bare underneath him. Her bathing suit had left little to the imagination from earlier. But the sight of her like this unlike any other. He takes another moment to memorize her like this again. Remembering every detail he had somehow forgotten, praying he doesn’t forget her again.

He grabs one of the pillows that’s tucked against the headboard of the bed and places it underneath her hips. Positioning her in front of him as he spreads her legs apart. She warm and wet, pink and flushed.

With her thighs resting on his shoulders, he brushes his nose against her. His fingers spreading her open as his tongue prods and licks at her opening. Her taste is divine. The way it fills and spreads on his tongue as her wetness coats his lips. He hears her soft whimpers and whines along with the sounds of the fabrics in between her fingers as she fists the sheets. Dragging and pulling away from the bed as he works her open. Licking and prodding at her, watching as her essence leaks from her. His other hand is wrapped around her thigh, keeping her steady with each little twitch and twinge of her hips. Quivering and reaching closer towards his swirling tongue.

He looks up at her again. Waiting for approval before he slides one of his long fingers inside of her. Curling and hooking into her as his tongue flicks at her wet swollen clit. He gives no time for her to adjust as he spreads her open with another of his fingers, scissoring into her. Her hand is quick to tug into his dark blond locks, twisting and pulling for his eagerness. The pain against his scalp is enough for him to let out a breathy desperate moan.

Leon licks his lips clean, tasting her all over on his tongue. His fingers still curled deep inside of her as he stares her down. His eyes narrow, one of his angled brows raising as he smirks wide. Feeling like he’s had the upper hand for once.

She notices his arrogance. “So confident, hmm?” she tugs at his hair again. Enough for him to let out a softer pleased filled moan, the pain of it just enough to inch his head further towards her belly. He plants a kiss there, trailing his kisses up her torso and breasts. His wet fingers still swirling and thrusting inside of her, his thumb pressing tight circles against her clit. His fingers remembering exactly how she liked it.

He had barely registered what she said as he trailed his kisses back up towards her neck. Her grasp on his hair is still taunt, twisting occasionally between her fingers before letting go lightly. Her sweet moans reflect with the way she tugs at him. Her other hand is clawing into his back, her nails pressing the fabric of his shirt into his skin. But it feels dulled, the sharpness of her nails dampened by the single fabric.

He speeds up his fingers, eliciting a throaty whine from her. His head shoots upward to watch her, his eyes fixated on her face. Transcending into a higher plane of pleasure. Her lips part, more moans and whines echoing. Her eyes are half lidded, her chest heaving and curling into him. Her thighs shake, twitching throughout her body as he feels her falling apart on his fingers. Her head twists, her cheek pressed into the soft fabric of the pillow as she cums, soaking his fingers with her creamy essence.

“Be a good boy,” she breathes and slowly twists her head towards him. He watches her as her eyes darken a shade, her lips bitten red from her attempts to stifle her moans. A desperate moan escaped her lips as she feels his fingers slipping away from her. Leon licks his lips once over before pressing his soaked fingers into his mouth, licking them clean as he keeps his eyes on her. The taste of her fills his tongue again, intoxicating him as he laved at his appendages.

Ada feels more exposed than normal, the fact he’s still completely clothed did nothing to help. Her arms stretch out and grab at the collar of his shirt, hastily tugging at it and pulling it off and over his head. Passion filled and animalistic; contrasting the almost careful and timid way she removed his shirt from earlier on in the day. The rest of his clothing is removed in seconds. Leon helping her to rid the rest of it.

She swallows, seeing the strong muscles in his legs as they moved as he settles back onto the bed. His legs spread, his thick cock leaking against his thigh. He moves as if his body is on auto-pilot, reacting to his inner urges rather than his head or his heart.

“Are you going to behave like a good puppy?” She asks sweetly, crawling onto him curiously. Her hands pawing at him as she makes her way over in between his thighs. Her nails digging into him along the way, giving him jolts of painful pleasure. With his thighs spread she splayed her hand around the base of his cock. A hiss seething from his clenched teeth, Leon’s eyes roll as he feels her giving him a generous pump of his cock. Her hand gives him another faster pump as she palms the tip of his cock, gathering his slick before slathering it down the length. Her fingers wrapped around the base and playing with him. Teasing him in ways that always got him hot and heavy.

“Are you going to behave Leon?” She asks again, stalling her movements with her question.

“F-fuck, yes,” he grunts, his gaze stuck on her hand as she pumps him again.

“Yes what?”

“Fuck, I’ll behave,” he groans, this time longer with more annoyance.

“You don’t sound very appreciative, Agent Kennedy,” she elongates his formal title, her voice sweet saccharine in pitch as she gives him another agonizingly slow pump. The head of his cock is leaking profusely, coating him with his sticky precum.

His groans grow louder, more rabid and unrestrained. A powerful grunt from his chest echos as he watches the tip of Ada’s soft pink tongue swirling the tip of his cock. Her hand is at a glacial pace running up and down, feeling each and every single vein and pulse of his cock.

Her lashes flutter, her cheeks flushing with pink warmth as she hollows her cheek, engulfing the head of his cock with little warning. Offering the same little warning that he did for her. He rolls his eyes, the heat from her mouth spreading throughout his entire body. His face dampens with sweat, the air from his lips hot and releasing in desperate pants for breath.

An audible pop rings as Ada lips release from his cock. Leon’s head unconsciously presses forcefully into the bed beneath him, his hips straining to reach for her hand as she continually pumps his cock at a leisurely pace.

“Ada,” he strains his voice. “Ada, please,” his voice wanes as he whines.

Something in him snaps.

The hold on his head and his heart push forward. Ignoring whatever words she had said.

…

He can barely hear her words, as they come from her lips like a pur. Smooth and sultry. But it’s not what he wants. He needs more from her.

His ears are ringing, his cock unbearably uncomfortable as all pleasure and friction is lost as she unwraps her fingers from it.

“Please,” he begs. Desperately wanting anything she’d be willing to give, but it’s somehow not enough anymore. The desperation in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed by her. The routine they had built was shallow. With little bits of the truth slipping through the cracks. She wants more than just this.

The facade drops. As if everything suddenly fell apart between them.

The complicated web they weave is untangled each second they spend together. An innocent day filled with rather mundane activities and yet each time they end up like this. Each time they get closer, there’s a pull. Dragging them away from each other. A fear in their hearts that this is the last time. That the pleasure they want, isn’t what they deserve. She can see it in him. The fear she has all too well. Begging for something as if it’s the last time. Even she knows she’s not strong enough to avoid it this time. That she’s tied to him in ways she can’t describe.

“Leon.”

Her gaze shifts. A glassiness to her eyes that reflects the dim light. A fragility that he always sees in moments like these. A vulnerability that she never lets escape to the surface.

Still tangled in each other’s embrace, Leon finally breaks the silence.

“Let me love you the way I want to,” he asks softly.

His hand reaches to cradle the sides of her face. His fingers tenderly carding through her dark hair to push it away, allowing him to see more of her of the delicate features of her face. His touch is so tender. So soft it nearly brings the tears in Ada’s eyes to the edge. Just brimming the ends of her long lashes. Every time he gets closer to her; and every time she lets him in.

His gentle kiss asks permission for more. Chaste at first. Waiting for her to make the move. Her hands weave and wander along his neck and shoulders, holding onto him as she grows plaint. Letting him easily maneuver her underneath him. He holds her hip gently, spreading her legs around his waist. Letting her lay comfortably on the soft sheets of the bed. Padding the pillow beneath her head with his other hand. Tracing his fingers into her hair as it dances over the pillow.

The moment is tender, careful and all too loving. It’s not a intense rough fucking. One filled with teasing and reward. Nothing to work for, nothing to be earned or gained.

“Don’t shy away from me,” his finger continues to caress her cheek, bringing her back to him.

Ada feels the warmth from her chest growing slowly at first. Then spreading like wildfire throughout her body. It’s a tenderness from him she thinks she’s undeserving of; a love all too consuming. He looks angelic like this, his hair glowing in the light and haloing around his head. With each gentle kiss he places on her, his hair sways into his face, covering his eye. She raises a delicate hand to brush aside his hair. Showing her his loving gaze. It’s so warm. Her thighs squeeze around his hips, bringing him closer to her.

His boyish smile fills his face. His perfect warm smile. He places another kiss on her forehead, his eyes nearly snapping shut as he presses into her. Her mouth falls open in a silent whine. Feeling him as he stretches her open, filling her until he’s fully seated inside. His body falls a fraction, the warm pleasure radiating and taking over as he gives her a tentative pull back and thrust of his hips. His hand tightly grips her hip, nearly blemishing her skin with his fingerprints.

With each thrust he firmly holds onto her. Relishing the feeling of her warm wet walls hugging every inch of his cock overwhelms him ways he can’t describe. The lewd wet sounds emanating from where their cores meet grow louder as he desperately lifts her hips and pushes her onto his cock. A steady pace that focuses on each movement rather than speed. Making sure she can feel every single inch of him.

“Look at me, please.”

Ada’s eyes perk up, catching his gaze. Reaching for him as he chases her for another kiss. His moans against her lips are sweet and addicting. Her kisses are fervent, and still delicately placed against his face and neck. Each one eliciting an intensity growing in him. His hand near her head trails down her shoulder and arm, wrapping around her wrist and pressing into her palm. She mirrors him as their fingers envelope into each others. Grasping each other hands, all the while their bodies mindlessly rut into each other.

He buries his head into the crook of her shoulder, hot breath fanning across her neck as his hips snap faster into her. The angle brushing the head of his cock perfectly into her. He hears her, the sharp twisting of her voice. Crying for more. The airy desire in her moans. The grasping of her hand against him, forcefully digging her fingernails into the skin of his back. Her trembling thighs shake, twitching her body all the way into how she curls her back from the bed. Pressing her full breasts into his chest.

“Look at me,” he begs again.

Ada’s eyes are barely able to open, her mind fuzzy and her hearing filled with the wet slapping of skin, the bed shaking and their heavy breathing. He can barely hold it off. Wanting to bring her over the edge with him. The way her warm pussy pulls him in with each thrust nearly topples him over. His heavy cock begging to spill into her.

“Come with me please,” she whispers in a single breath.

His hips continually snap forward, her own slamming onto him, clinging onto him as she feels the beginning of her climax washing over her. Her steady and rapidly increasing heart beat pumping in her ears. The ringing starts. Her voice quickens and stutters with his name. In mere seconds her slick covered walls squeeze every part of him. Triggering his climax and following in a few weakening thrusts. Slowing in rhythm as his cock spills everything inside of her, filling her until he plants himself inside deeply.

The warmth she feels explodes into pleasure that courses through her, overstimulating her as she clings onto him, shaking and letting go of every single fibre of her being.

His weight grows heavy on her. Her core still tingling and twitching. His seed spilling out of her and onto the sheets.

“Leon.”

He hears her serene voice repeating his name, calling for him. With the bit of strength he has he lifts his head to meet her face. Immediately surging towards her lips at the sight of her smile. A warm giggle tries to escape from her lips, squashed from their kiss. A sloppy one that elicits another deep chuckle from him. Each one peppers more kisses, ones that feel like they’re not going to stop.

His stamina is tested as the night continues on. Hours spent in his hotel bed, wrapped into each other. Going until she nearly begs him to stop. She rides him until he can barely take it, their skin red and flushed. His head reeling with nothing but the chase for the high. The ecstasy of it.

In the late hours of the night, their bodies are satiated. Tingles and butterflies fluttering through every part of them. Hips bruised and imprinted with each other’s fingerprints. Lip prints marked on necks and chests.

Despite her protests, Leon takes the time to apply more of the gel for her sunburn. His hands confident on where to go, and how far he can go.

“I don’t think I have any sun burns there Leon,” she presses her chin lightly against her shoulder, turning her head to scold him with a smile. His fingers are cleaned from the gel and he can’t help but run his palms along her chest, cupping her breasts between both hands.

“Really?” He scoffs with a smile. “Better to be safe than sorry,” he finishes by leaning in for another kiss.

“This,” she simply says, a singular hum following her word.

“Hmm?” He hums as he gathers her into his arms. Pressing her into his chest as he lays down into the bed. Letting her perch herself onto him.

“I like you like this,” she replies and returns to drawing her fingertip against his bare chest.

“Naked?” He teases her with a warm laugh.

She smiles although he can’t see her. He can however feel her rolling her eyes at him.

“I like when we’re both like this.”

“Like what?”

This time she lifts her head towards him. Her expression is alluring and captivating, her dark hair framing her face, the bitten red hue of her lips. The warm flush against her cheeks that remain on her skin. The inviting look of her eyes.

The years haven’t been kind to Leon. But his good nature and strength lingers in him. It wanes and grows with time, running into obstacles but he always overcomes them. He hadn’t given up before, and she didn’t want to see him give up just yet. She watches him as he lazily lets out a soft yawn, the tension in his face released as he grows more sleepy. Closing his eyes briefly, his lashes slowly fluttering closed. He looks so much more peaceful like this, like all the pain had washed away. The tension in his brows released, his lips upturned in an effortless smile.

“Together,” she whispers.

Ada wakes as the morning light greets her. She so often rises before the sun even peeks at the sky. Always slipping away in the early morning or the night. She was never comfortable with goodbyes or overstaying her welcome. It was always easier to leave. But she didn’t want to leave him this time.

The sun is bright. Warm and inviting. Just like Leon had always been to her. She turned towards him, watching him as he slept. Still lost in a dream as he laid next to her. His arm wrapped around her even as he slept.

He looks so free.

Ada let her impulses take over, leaning in to brush his hair away from his face. Her finger ghosting along his cheekbone and jawline, feeling the soft stubble there.

“Ada,” he quietly breathes out, his eyes slowly opening.

“You’re still here,” his smiles somehow grows wider, reaching his eyes.

“You’re still here too,” she quips back.

“This is my hotel room,” he all too easily over takes her, trapping her underneath him.

“One night is all it takes huh?” She tilts her head upward towards him, trailing a lingering kiss against his jawline.

It wasn’t just the night.

The rest of their vacation was spent together. Exploring the rest of the island or back in the hotel room. Ada had shown Leon how to live a little, all the while she was breaking down her own walls. Letting him in bit by bit no matter how much she struggled. That each morning they woke with each other still there, it formed a new bond. A breakthrough was made.

When the vacation was nearing its end. Leon silently knew they would have to part ways again. The pain of it was less gut wrenching this time. The heartbreaking feeling he always felt whenever she left was no longer with him. No longer scarring and digging into his soul; instead as if the ties binding his heart were simply him holding it in place instead.

He held her one more time, breathing in her soft sweet scent to remember for next time. Remembering the feeling of her embrace. Remembering the gentle touch of her hand and the tender warmth of her lips.

It feels easier now.

The few remaining questions that bounce off in his head roll off of his tongue easier now, wanting to have them all answered before they part.

“Back before… on the boat. I said that Raccoon city changed me... and I asked you if you had changed,” he says, his head still pressed against hers.

She merely nods against him.

“I didn’t understand you back then. I’m not even sure if I even do now-” he pauses with a laugh, his hands resting on the small of her back and trailing onto her hips and waist as he held her.

“Maybe you have figured me out, maybe I haven’t really changed,” he lifts his head to meet her eyes.

“But I like to think that I changed you,” he nods with his words.

A smile grows on her face, “maybe you did,” she exhales a short laugh.

The last lingering question he has for her blurts out of his lips before he can stop himself.

“When will I see you again?” he asks, his brows furrowing together lightly, although a smile is still painted on his face.

He feels the soft press of her lips against his. A warm kiss that lingers throughout him, the soft perfume of her filling his nostrils as he drinks her in one more time. Her hands wrapped around his neck and shoulders trailed down to his hand. Her fingers enveloping into his again. It feels natural now, as if her hands were meant to be in his.

She smiles, watching his expression as slight confusion fills it. When she releases her hold from his hand, he feels a paper like texture in the palm of his hand. Before he can react much, he feels another of her kisses against his cheek before she slips away.

“You’ll figure it out. See you later, Leon,” she smiles softly. Giving him a wave before she begins walking away. His eyes are stuck on her form as she slowly disappears from him. Only when he can no longer make her out from the crowd does he look down into his palm. It’s neatly wrapped with a pastel blue ribbon tied around it. He tugs on it, undoing the perfect bow. The paper unfolds neatly by itself. A little green turtle keychain appears from the wrapping.

He chuckles warmly with a grin, “very cute.” He can’t help but eye the key attached to it, along with the zipper enclosure along the side of the shell of the turtle.

He smiles. Knowing that’s all he needed from her. For now.

#Leon Kennedy x ada Wong #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #Leon x ada #aeon #aeon fic #ada wong #ada wong x leon kennedy #resident evil damnation #re4r #resident evil #resident evil fic #aeon smut #leon kennedy smut #ada wong smut

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heph · 1 year ago

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Hey, I remember you mentioning on your IG something about two types of popular artists and one being good at social media and the other being good at art or something like that (I can't really remember lol). But it got me thinking, any tips for how to be good at social media? Cuz I'm certainly not even after posting art for six years lol

Heya!

What I meant by that is that there are traits that allow you to grow on social media, and traits that determine what a highly skilled artist is, and those traits do not always necessarily overlap.

I've seen so many amazing artists that post artwork that blow my head off, and yet they don't have many likes. On the other hand, some artists at the same skill level who draw more popular things will get way more attention.

That is not to say that either is the correct way to create art, but there is definitely a formula to social media that is in play.

There are a lot of posts about how to grow a social media account, particularly on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram art spheres, and imo you really need to examine what you want from your art before jumping into social media mode

The stuff you create to pander to social media might not be art that you want to create at all - I'm lucky, because I am less artist more storyteller, and what I enjoy is telling jokes and silly stories to liven up people's moods :] this, of course, conveniently does well on social media. On a personal note, I have a history of being a recluse and not connecting well with people, and art is my way of trying to communicate my feelings, one way or another.

So of course, if you draw for any reason other than my own, my approach to art and it's relation to social media might be inappropriate for you.

All that being said, if u take a look at those "get big on social media" videos they always cite the same few points... And you can look into that, for sure, but this video sums up how I feel about all that.

I spent like 20 minutes drafting words after the above paragraph, but I really ended up regurgitating sentiments from the video... So really don't listen to me, listen to that video

EDIT:

I just realised I didnt actually answer the question with my anecdotal experience, so here's a list of things I did

1. Posted like 3 doodles a day on social media

I did this for 6 months on a side account on Twitter recently and got the account to 11k followers... And I did this for 3 months on Instagram a few years ago and I think got 3.5k followers. Of course, do not spam maliciously and make sure your art is still of good quality, but for those artworks I posted quickly, I did not colour, and mostly did clean sketches. This also trains you in the matter of line confidence haha. Again, this worked for me because of my set of circumstances (love for the media, want to tell stories, simple art style)

2. Focus on my favourite aspects of media

This helps with respect to burnout - kinda hard to burnout when you love what you're making! For me, it's character interactions and comics. I want to see my blorbos kiss and if I'm not the one drawing it who will?!

3. Interact with people

People eat up work that they can interact with. A choose your own story situation, one of those like/rt to strip a character 😭 those do numbers for a reason.

Additionally, if you post stuff people love, people will respond to it with comments, maybe their own headcanons, adding on to the work... I've gone into long looong Twitter thread conversations with people who added onto my ideas that I threw up onto the screen and I think it's also a nice thing to do to respond to positive comments haha... I'm not very good at this (read: bad at communication)

I think that's the key points... Hope this helps!

#people who are good at social media are good at marketing basically #theyre their own hype man who has something cool to show #and would like to show everyone that cool thing!#its not purely about art its also about charisma and trying to get people to be convinced that youre cool as well #thats why there are social media influencers #people who vlog and get popular because of the way they present themselves #me i am very much my own hype man #not really because im particularly good at art (im not) but because i have so many thoughts in my head that i want to share #and i need people to also be poisoned by these thoughts so i enthusiastically promote it #side eyes the blood soup comic i dedicated like 20 pages to #on my end it comes from the love of media and my desire to build upon the established canon #but i understand that not everyone is so intensely passionate about their own work... but yknow #you need to love your own art in order for it to succeed #just like you need to love yourself before you can grow as a person #its easy for me to say because i do have social media attention though #i remember so desperately chasing social media validation when i was 16 #so really i cant really say much regarding that haha #but do watch the video and hopefully it helps!#i wrote so many words...#heph answered

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polandspringz · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter Summary:

The holidays are here, and MC has been promoted from managing multiple departments to multiple dates.

Story Summary: Set in a modern society, where there are no demons or angels, the Celestial and Devildom Corporations have held a longstanding rivalry as the two most wealthy and influential brands in this city. After years of competition, they surprised the public with news of a partnership. Their first joint effort: Sponsoring one special intern each who will work to unite the businesses using their outsider perspective and communication skills that the old CEOs, and their heirs, seem to fail at. You, MC, thought you were selected as one of them. Apparently someone misread the skill section of your resume though, and hired you as a family therapist and mystery detective too.

Chapter will be posted below, but please click the link to comment on AO3 and leave kudos!

Exams were over.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you finished checking over your Scantron for the five hundredth time, being sure-sure that you didn’t accidentally skip a question and fill in all the bubbles one off, and that your name was an actual word and not just the scribbles your sleep deprived and study-crammed brain believed it was. You quickly got up, handed your paper in, and as quietly as possible, scurried back to your seat where you grabbed all your belongings and escaped the classroom, unfortunately failing as you banged your shin on the doorframe in your haste.

Satan was waiting for you outside, sitting on a raised platform for a display in the art building. A book held open with a single hand, his thumb pressing against the inside of the spine and keeping it crisply open, he smiled and looked up when your shadow approached and cast over him.

“All done?”

“All done!” You stretched your arms in the air high and cheered. He chuckled at your childish moment and closed the book, tucking it away and standing up himself, pushing off his long and lanky legs until he was at his full height in front of you.

“Congratulations are in order then.”

“Don’t say that. I don’t know my grade yet.”

“MC.” He leveled you with a serious stare, incredulous at your statement, “You have almost a 4.0 GPA. You were spouting facts at me for the past two days, there’s no way you didn’t vomit all of that out perfectly onto your test.”

“Ugh, even if it's someone like you saying it, the word vomit still sounds gross. Don’t use it,” you said, slinging your backpack onto your back and making a disgusted face.

“Would you prefer retch? What about regurgitate?”

“I feel like regurgitate is the more appropriate one in this scenario, oh-mister-literature-major.”

“I’ll use whatever phrase gets you to walk faster. Come on, let’s get you home and to sleep already. I don’t want to have to carry you.”

“But my brain is soooo tired,” you whined dramatically, and he pushed you forward as you dug your heels into the ground.

“But not your legs. Besides, carrying you is Mammon’s job, not mine.”

You flushed, and rocked back onto the balls of your feet, hurrying out of the art building doors. Satan could be heard laughing softly behind you.

Although the holiday break for the D.C. didn’t start until the 29th, Diavolo had been kind and merciful to the college students among his employees and gifted Satan and you an early day off from the company. Although-although, from Lucifer’s perspective, only you had an official day off from work. Satan was just off from school, as he was still unaware of his more permanent position in the company at the moment. While he knew that his brother skulked around the company’s publishing department without authorization, and that Satan had adopted a uniform similar to what the rest of the department heads wore, he was still oblivious to the conspiracy that Diavolo and Satan had been enacting. You tried not to dwell on it for too long, for fear that you would vomit the words out with anxiety.

Nonetheless, the two of you had the day off. So, while the rest of the brothers were suffering at their desk jobs so close to a holiday, you and Satan were spending the day sprawled across various surfaces, going from passed out in your beds to half asleep at the dining room table in your bowls of cereal, draped across arm chairs, to finally in a heap on the couch as a book lay discarded on the floor, slipped from the blonde’s fingers, and the television remote upside down and the batteries exposed as the drop popped the cover off the back.

You were fast asleep until your phone began to buzz, pinned somewhere on the couch between your pile of limbs and the cushions, and you both began to grumble and squirm in an attempt to find it. Satan ended up kicking you off in his annoyance, dropping you onto the floor directly onto your ass, but your phone slipped out and into your hands, so it all worked out in the end. You glanced at the caller I.D.

Levi.

Wait a minute. Levi was calling you?

Not texting?

Your sleep-addled brain jolted itself awake and you hurried to accept the call.

There was a moment of silence on both ends. You had expected him to say something first.

“H-hello?”

“...MC.”

“Yes, Levi? It’s me? Why are you calling? Are you okay?”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m okay. Why are you acting like you were worried about me or something?”

The defensiveness in Levi’s voice was harsh, but not unfamiliar. You knew he was hiding something.

“Levi,” you said calmly, “You know I won’t judge you or anything. It’s just that I know you hate phone calls, so I was surprised when you didn’t just text me instead.”

“It’s because… It’s because it’s important.”

You hummed in agreement, and crossed your legs, “I figured. What’s up?” You said sweetly, trying to coax him with patience.

“A-are you free tonight?”

“I am. Why?”

“B-because the- becausethemoviecomesouttonightandyoupromisedyouwould-”

“Wait, Levi, what? The movie?”

“See? I knew it was stupid. You stupid normie. Forgetting about the promise you made me and-”

The promise? Oh. You sat up, “The Ruri-chan movie, right? I didn’t forget, Levi. I just woke up a minute ago, my brain is still a little slow. Of course I’ll go with you. Can we still get tickets though?”

“...I bought them already. I bought them when they went on sale months ago.”

“Months ago, huh? You’re really excited about this, huh? Guess I better dress up then.” You rubbed your eyes sleepily, thoughts slowly coming together in your brain, “Wait a second, months ago?” Your brain pieced together images of your calendar, and Levi had only brought the movie up to you a few weeks ago. Did that mean then-?

“It’s not what you think!” He squawked on the other end, “I just- I just accidentally bought an extra ticket, and then I needed to find someone else to go with. No- wait! I meant that I didn’t want to sit next to anyone weird so I bought the seats around me so that I would be left alone!”

“Does that mean you don’t want me sitting next to you?”

“No! That’s not- You’re-! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The movie’s at midnight so just be ready by ten o��clock! You better not fall asleep during the movie or I’ll never forgive you!”

“Aye, aye, captain Levi,” you saluted, “I’ll go back to my bed so I’ll be all rested up for later.”

“I’ll be home soon, so I’ll make sure to wake you up in time!”

“Thank you, Levi. Bye bye,” you shut your eyes as you waved at the wall across from you, slowly pulling the phone away as you pressed down on the power button, ending the call. Satan shuffled around behind you, sitting up. You looked back at him, seeing how his blonde bangs were sticking up in all different directions from being face down on the couch.

“You’re going out tonight?”

“Yeah, I had made a deal with Levi a few weeks ago. But I don’t mind. I just have to lose this headache.”

“Post finals exhaustion does that to you. To us, I guess. Come back to bed?”

“Don’t phrase it like that around Mammon, unless you want to get your head ripped off. And you were the one who kicked me off the couch.”

“Your phone was annoying me. Come on.”

It was rare for Satan to whine, but you guessed sleepiness did that to any of the brothers. You accepted his hand and crawled back onto the cushions, flopping down again. Satan remained sitting, reaching over and rattling with something before he held that something out in front of your lips.

“Tylenol. Open.”

You obliged and he leaned over to fetch one of your water bottles off the coffee table.

“Levi, you look fine! Come on, let’s go already-!”

You were tugging on his arm, careful not to pull on any of the ribbon tails and ruffles that were fluttering about between the game of tug of war.

“No! I can’t! Let me get changed first! It’s stupid! I look stupid! I know I do!”

“We’re going to be late-! Come on!”

You yanked with all your strength and stumbled backwards through the doorway into the hall, sending Levi tumbling with you, revealing his state to the rest of the household who had been watching your struggle curiously.

While you had opted for something comfortable for going to the movies, Levi had decided to go all out. Well, he wasn’t Levi right now, he was a perfect recreation of Ruri-chan, wig, contacts, and all. And while he looked stunning and made your jaw drop, he unfortunately mistook your reaction and began crying and slamming the door in your face.

But you had gotten him out of his room. So step one was done.

He was sitting in a heap of his skirt and petticoat, on the verge of tears now feeling all the eyes of his brothers on him, but you didn’t have time to dwell on that. You grabbed him by the wrist again and pulled him to his feet, marching down the hall to the front door.

“Do you have the tickets?”

“H-Huh? Yes, they’re on my phone-”

“Is your phone charged?”

“I have a portable battery with me!”

“And?”

“And a wire!” He said between sniffles.

You got to the entranceway, and stuffed your feet into your shoes without letting go of Levi, still worried he would bolt the moment you did, but he seemed too occupied sniffling and trying not to rub his makeup off his face as he stood there waiting for you. When you stood back up, you took a good look at him, and sighed.

“Wait right here. Don’t run back in your room, you hear me?”

You didn’t wait for his response. You went back to his bedroom and glanced around until you spotted it, grabbing the bag off of his dresser. You marched back past the stares until you reached the sniffles again, and squatted down so you could place the pouch on your legs as you fished around in it.

“What are you-?”

“Shush. I’m fixing your makeup.”

You found the foundation he had been using and dabbed it on top of the eyeliner and mascara that was starting to blur underneath his eyes, and then found the brush he had been using and added a new swirl of pink on his lower lash line. You inspected his face for another minute, trying to see if anything else needed tweaking.

The makeup bag was heavy in your hands, and a distant part of your mind thought about if only Asmo was here, maybe Levi would be more confident.

But there was no time for that. And besides, Levi seemed pretty adept at makeup himself, based on what he had done before you walked in, and all the products in the bag seemed to be his own as well. If you didn’t think that before, well, the obvious Ruri-chan collaboration branding on all the products solidified it.

“Alright. We’re going out! We’ll be back late! Don’t wait up!” You called to the others, mainly to Lucifer, as you took Levi’s hand and opened the front door. You saw the eldest lift his hand in brisque acknowledgment, but you didn’t miss the smile that was pulling at his lips from just over the newspaper.

You and Levi walked through the snowfall, hurrying across town to the theater where the premiere would be happening. Levi was still panicking, begging for you to take a cab because of all the normies staring at the two of you, but traffic was terrible right now and-

You turned to him with your hands on your hips, clicking your tongue as you looked him up and down.

“Do you really want to wrinkle your dress before we get there?”

“H-huh?”

“If we go in a car your cosplay is going to be ruined! R-u-i-n-e-d. You hear me? You worked so hard on this, we want it to look perfect when we get to the theater in case people want to take pictures or something, don’t we? Now come on.”

You grabbed Levi’s hand again, but when you moved forward, he stalled, jolting you to a stop. He was standing there with his mouth agape slightly.

“What?”

“It’s just… You…” His mouth floundered over the words as he seemed caught in a daze looking at you, until…

“Asmo’s really rubbed off on you, huh?”

You swore you had been knocked off your feet.

You blamed it on the lighting. The damn snowfall, the warm glow of the streetlight, the atmosphere was all too alike some drama or something you had seen on tv. Levi’s smile was radiant, bigger than it had been in a while, his eyes shut and crinkled at the edges as he held the Ruri-chan wand clasped between his hands, and he just kept smiling. Damn, you were faithful to Mammon, but this feeling was different, was so overpowering, so kind and warm-

You smiled back, and slowly reached your hand out to retwine your fingers with his.

“He’s really done a number on me, hasn’t he? Now, come on. I want to show you off already.”

“Show me off?”

“Yes you big goof. You made the entire costume didn’t you? We have to show them who the ultimate fan is.”

Around three in the morning, the front door creaked open, sending a crack of light cutting across the apartment, and two figures slinked inside the darkness, their shadows swaying in the light across the floor. One of them guided the other towards the couch, where they collapsed in a heap while the other moved to the kitchen. The door was shut now, bathing them both in darkness, but even if their roles were reversed, they both knew the layout of their home by heart.

Leviathan brought two cups of hot chocolate back to the couch, stopping and glancing over the cups as he regarded you. Curled across the cushions again, your fingers were still holding onto some polaroid print outs you had been developing while waiting for him. Levi set the cups down and then picked one of them from your hand, smiling down at the selfie the two of you had taken before the premiere, blurry as you were running to get in line, but both of you still threw up peace signs, although only your eyes and up were visible in the shot, Levi more in frame as he was running somewhat behind.

He carefully removed the wig, sliding his fingers under the sides by his ears, finding which way the bobby pins were in and pushing the wig down and then up, carefully unclipping the pigtails and setting them aside (they would be a nightmare to untangle but he would worry about that later) before he knelt down in front of you. Your eyes were shut, and your chest rose and fell gently with each breath. He took the other polaroid from your hand and smiled at it before setting them both down on the coffee table. Then, he took your hand in his and whispered.

“Thank you.”

The next morning was back to work. And you were kind of regretting going on so late with Levi, as your headache from yesterday was back with an even stronger vengeance. Levi was no doubt accustomed to all these late nights, but you only had the endurance of a college student. The only blessing you had was that since it was the 24th, the Celestial Corporation was on their holiday, which meant you didn’t have to film anything today. Instead, you and Levi were in charge of managing the editing team as you began to work on piecing together the early episodes of the web series.

It should have been a simple day, it should have been easy on your eyes and your pulsing skull. Lowlights in one of the computer labs as you just let the editors do their thing, Asmo taking pity on you and deciding not to bother you while he went back to preparing for his collection. However, Mammon was either as oblivious as his brothers teased him to be or he just did not care, because it was the fifth time in the past hour he had snuck away from his desk to try and-

“Mammon! What are you doing here?” Lucifer had taken to guarding your door, waiting for the second eldest to slink back here.

“L-Luce! Come on, not you too!”

“MC is busy with a very important project for Lord Diavolo, as you should know. And shouldn’t you also be finishing up your end of year reports if you don’t want to ring in the new year locked in the building.”

“Come on, Luce! Please, just hear me out-”

As if sensing your pounding headache, Lucifer stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

Mammon and Lucifer must have talked, because towards the end of the day, Lucifer showed up in your doorway looking… fidgety?

“Is something the matter?”

He cleared his throat, and hid his expression behind his hand, “I would like to apologize for Mammon’s behavior earlier today.”

“It’s okay. Did he finish his reports?”

“Ahem. He will, however I have allowed him to leave early today.”

“Oh. That’s a surprise.”

“Yes, well. He will accompany you home. You are dismissed.”

And Lucifer staggered out of the office then. Something was up. He was like a robot. Or maybe the relief of the upcoming holidays had finally kick-started his body into shutdown mode, knowing he could relax for even a day. Just as your door closed, two things happened then. A text on your phone, and the door swinging open again.

“Uh, hey, MC.”

It was Mammon.

“Hi?” You crossed your arms and stood up, leaning against the front desk of the computer lab, “What’s been with you all day?”

“Uh… Nothing. Do you still have a headache?”

Hm. Well, points for noticing that. “It’s mostly gone now. I probably just need some more sleep.”

“Ah. I see. Then… ah, nevermind. You probably want to sleep, you just said so yourself. Come on, let’s go home-”

“Mammon, wait,” you stepped forward and grabbed his arm before he could rush out the door, “You’ve been acting weird all day. You don’t get to blow me off like that. Something is up. Tell me.”

“Argh. I wanted to do it smoother than this.”

“Well, you can’t. So just tell me.”

You let go of him, and he pivoted back to face you. He was standing stiff, arms at his side, and looking down at his feet. He seemed nervous, his mouth fighting itself to settle on an expression.

“It’s just… you know what today is, right?”

“Christmas Eve?”

“Yeah, and… do you know what that means?”

“Tomorrow’s Christmas?”

“Yes- but- well- argh!”

“Mammon. Just tell me.”

The man was silent, and you watched color bloom across his face, his skin darkening with warmth as he fought off his embarrassment.

“Well, in this city… they consider Christmas a l-lover’s day, is all… and I was thinking-”

Oh. You weren’t expecting that.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to go out tonight. You’ve been really busy, and then you weren’t feeling well so I was thinking even doing something small together would be fine. But-”

You leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his cheek, shutting him up.

“That’s sweet of you to think of me. Thank you.”

“Uh. You’re welc-”

“But, Asmo texted me. He wants me to stop by tonight.”

Mammon’s face fell.

“Argh! That idiot! It’s bad enough that he has you in his department, now he wants to take all your free time too?”

“Mammon, it’s fine. I’ll just stop by. You can come with me. And besides, does lover’s day only have to be on Christmas Eve? Can’t we do something tomorrow too?”

“But, Lucifer only gave me-”

“It’s fine,” The door opened again, and Lucifer re-entered, “Mammon, just finish your reports when you finish them. I won’t keep you tonight or tomorrow, or on New Year’s for that matter.”

“What? Really?!”

You noticed Lucifer’s posture was different. If he was listening outside the whole time, then he heard you mention Asmo. He had a far off look in his eyes, and he pursed his lips as he mulled over what to say next.

“Do you… not want me to stop by tonight?”

“Wha- no, no. That’s not it. I-” He sighed and covered his face with his hand. Uncharacteristically lax for him, especially while still at the office. Mammon relaxed too, moving closer to his brother with worry on his face, “I apologize. I don’t intend to put you on the spot, but if you are going over there anyway, could I ask you to deliver something to him?”

“Sure? What is it?”

Lucifer reached inside his coat pocket and, with shaking hands you noticed, produced an envelope. A card of sorts.

“A gift. For Christmas. Since I don’t expect him to be home to receive it, and it would be wrong to give him something this personal during work hours.”

“Personal? So it’s not the bonus checks?”

Lucifer frowned at Mammon, “No. And even though I am giving you a pass for the holidays, it is still being discussed whether your performance this year warrants a bonus at all.”

“Hey!”

“I’ll deliver it,” You reached out to take the envelope from his hand, “I’m sure Asmo will be happy.”

“Thank you,” Lucifer had the smallest smile on his face. It was weak, but not marred by his normal serious facade. It was genuine, but it was all he could muster. Even Mammon had gone silent, and seemed to be thinking something over. You turned to him to try and cheer him up.

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you too. We’ll just stop by, and I’m sure there will be time for us to do something afterwards. Okay?”

“Okay,” he grumbled, returning to his usual self, “But hurry up. Get your coat, let’s get going already.”

The walk to Solomon’s apartment was rather quiet. Mammon didn’t know the way, so he followed you the whole time. The wind was brisk, but it wasn’t enough to buffet you back. Still, you pulled your coat around you tighter, and only smiled when Mammon stopped to wrap his scarf around your neck.

You took the elevator to the familiar apartment. You texted Asmo that you would be up in a minute, and so when you got to the door, you only knocked once before it was pulled open, revealing Solomon’s smiling face.

“MC! Thank you so much for coming!”

“It’s nothing. I feel bad that I didn’t give Asmo enough attention today. I had a headache, so-”

As you stepped through the threshold, you saw Solomon’s eyes drift behind you, noticing Mammon’s presence.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I forgot to mention that Mammon was accompanying me. Is it okay if he comes in?”

“Of course,” Solomon said, smile never faltering. He stepped aside and gestured for you both to step inside, “I’m sure Asmo will be delighted to see one of his brothers.”

“We won’t be long, I promise. What did Asmo want me to come over for anyway?”

“He wanted to give you a gift. We do have some snacks set out though if you want.”

“Are you having a party?”

“Nah, just for us,” Solomon popped a cube of cheese in his mouth, “Although we’ll probably vlog and use it for some content of sorts. Here, sit down. Let me go get Asmo.”

Solomon left the room, leaving you and Mammon on the couch with the charcuterie board. Mammon was still silent, but he was leaning with his arms over the back of the couch, his head rolling as he sized up the place. You searched for the envelope in your bag, finding it just as Asmo’s singsong voice sounded.

“Darling~! Oh thank you for stopping by! I know it’s out of your way, but I simply had to-”

He had run into the room and immediately rushed you in a hug before you could fully stand up. You barely saw his outfit, only a flurry of fabrics of purple and pink and fuzzy textures in your vision before his arms wrapped around you. When he pulled back, you saw his face decorated in makeup, including little stars and glitter over his blush. His golden eyes were accentuated by the shimmering eyeshadow he had on, and you watched those golden eyes go from happiness to confusion when they spotted the person behind you.

Asmo pulled away, his arms falling to his sides as he went silent. Mammon stood up and just stared at his brother, and you felt their gazes boring into you, so you looked to Solomon for support. He was standing back, watching with an unreadable expression. You fumbled with the envelope.

“Oh, sorry. Mammon was walking me home. We won’t stay too long. Why did you want me to come over?’

That seemed to snap him out of it, at least enough to slip his mask on, “Oh, yes! I have a gift for you!” He turned to Solomon and took several shopping bags from his lover’s arm, moving to hand them off to you, “Here!”

You nearly dropped the bags as their string handles slipped into your hands, “You said a gift! This is plural!”

Asmo laughed, “Well I just couldn’t decide! Consider it your new wardrobe for spring! But not for the fashion show. I’ll custom make your outfit for that!”

“Will you have time for that? You really don’t have to-”

“MC.”

Mammon took the bags from you, but he kept his gaze leveled on his brother, “The card.”

“O-oh. That’s right,” You fumbled again with the item in your hands, flipping it over twice before handing it to Asmo, “Uh, this isn’t from me. I’m sorry, I didn’t think to get you a gift, but I’ll make time to hang out with you or buy you something you want in the future or-”

“Honey, you making the show for me was already my gift. Don’t worry about it.”

Asmo turned the envelope over in his hands as well, looking over his name written elegantly in cursive on the front, and the wax seal on the back. He traced his fingers over the indent on the wax, his eyes half lidded as he recognized it.

“This is from Lucifer, isn’t it?”

“Yes. He asked me to deliver it.”

“What, is it my bonus?” He laughed, but it was airy. Fake, “He could’ve just dropped this on my desk. No need to rope you into it-”

Asmo lifted his arm, tilting the envelope carelessly as he held it loosely between his two fingers. He could be throwing it, or motioning to toss it aside in a moment’s notice without even opening it. You didn’t like the look in his eyes, so distant, the way his smile was too wide, his lips twitching to control his expression into one of indifference, of false amusement, of-

“Asmo,” Mammon pushed past you, dropping the bags on the ground, and stepped right in front of his brother. He raised his arm and rested his fist on his brother’s chest, making the other lean back in surprise.

“W-What do you want?”

“Lucifer took the time to write that. Read it. I mean really read it. I don’t know what's inside but-” Mammon looked away, biting his tongue for a moment, “Look, if Lucifer decided to still be a dick then I get it, but I don’t think he wrote another tirade or scolding in there. It might seem like that at first, but you know him- I know him- better than anyone. I know you can read between the lines to figure out what he means, if he decides to still be a pompous bitch about expressing it.”

“What’s this all about?” Asmo rolled his eyes, and Mammon opened his palm against his chest, sinking his fingers into the fabric of his shirt.

“Come home, Asmo. Please.”

Asmo was silent.

“Not just for us. I mean, I want you home. And so does Levi, and Satan, and the twins. It’s not the same without you. We all miss you. But, for yourself too. Staying away, running away, it’s hurting you too, I know it is.”

Asmo pushed Mammon off of him.

“I’m not running away. I came here because I’m done running away-”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“Mammon.” You warned, but he continued.

“No, MC! He needs to hear this! I get the whole ‘not hiding anymore’ thing, Az, I do. But listen, you’re still running. You’re running on fumes and leaving messes in your wake. Getting outsiders caught up in this,” He jerked his head towards you, and you flinched when Asmo’s gaze met yours, melting with realization and hurt, “running everyone ragged because they don’t fully understand. They can’t fully understand! They’ll never fully know what we went through.”

“Then what am I supposed to do? When the people who went through it don’t even want to talk about it with-”

Mammon grabbed the envelope and waved it in front of his face, “This. This is them trying to talk about it. Just like how for you it's making videos and posting on Devilgram. And for me? This is me talking about it. You may not like it, but if you want to talk about this, you’ll have to accept that we all are processing differently, taking steps differently. And we can’t take a step forward together if you keep running on ahead, okay?”

Asmo was silent. Solomon was still in the background, but when Asmo turned to him nervously, looking for reassurance, he was shocked to see the small smile on his lover’s face.

“Not you too-”

“I think it’s worth considering,” Solomon shrugged, “It would be a shame to throw away the letter without giving it a cursory glance, at least.”

Mammon drew Asmo’s attention back to him, handing him back the letter. Then he surged forward, wrapping him in a hug.

You saw Mammon’s arms come up and brush Asmo’s hair, pulling his brother in closer as he mumbled-

“This is a family problem, right? So it's up to the family to solve it, got it?”

Asmo didn’t respond. Mammon pulled away after a second and then turned around, scrubbing his eyes with the back of his arm before moving to grab the bags on the floor.

“Come on, MC. Let’s go.”

“Oh. Okay. Uh, thank you for the gifts, Asmo. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

The two of you moved towards the door, tripping over yourselves, when-

“Wait.”

You turned around and watched as Asmo slowly opened the envelope, unfolding the card and tucking the envelope behind it as he began to read it over. It took a minute, and you were terrified of the letters on the page until-

“Solomon. Pack up the charcuterie. Get your coat.”

Mammon gasped next to you, and you saw his eyes glossy and wet as he stared in disbelief at his brother. Asmo didn’t raise his gaze, but he smiled down at the card.

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

You and Mammon opened the door to the penthouse and called for the others. It took some shouting, and Mammon running down the hall to bang on all the doors, and a few of them came grumbling, but it was worth it to see their faces when you stepped back to reveal-

Beel was the first to move, tackling Asmodeus before dissolving into blubbering tears. He slammed into his brother with such force that Asmo’s feet slipped off the floor but it was Beel’s strong arms that kept him steady and upright.

You saw Asmo’s face as he slowly reached a hand up and patted the muscular arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, big guy. I won’t do it again.”

Levi dropped his game system on the floor, nearly shattering, but he ignored it and rushed in to join the hug, also crying. Belphegor was next, and he shuffled his feet quickly to meet everyone at the threshold. You wouldn’t have expected tears from him, but he was smiling, and he showed his younger sibling-ness by being equally clingy and tugging on Asmo’s sleeve to get his attention.

Then came Satan, who moved close, but waited for the others to stop swarming Asmo before greeting him. Although he didn’t initiate, Asmo did, and glomped his brother, nearly knocking him backwards.

“Oh how I’ve missed you! Look at you!” He smushed Satan’s cheeks together, pulling at the skin, “Look what finals did to you! My gift to you will be a full spa treatment to get rid of those dark circles!” He then pointed towards you, “That includes you too!”

You moved to welcome Solomon into the room as well, and the brothers were more properly introduced to him. Although they had observed your meetings with him, the formalities were shed and when the man called himself Asmo’s boyfriend, there were hands shaking and claps on the back all around.

That just left…

Lucifer stood at the end of the hall that led to his office and the bedrooms, and had been watching the reunion silently. His arms folded, he did not react when the group turned to him and waited anxiously. You didn’t know what had been in that letter, you did not want to breach their privacy (anymore than you had already done), but since Asmo decided to come home, you had hoped it was something honest. Plus, there was what Mammon had said. So surely…?

Asmo smiled and walked languidly towards the eldest. He folded his arms behind his back, and took long steps that made him bounce cheerfully. It was teasing, exaggerated, but it was calculated. When he got close, there was no hug, no open arms. Asmo merely stopped in front of his brother and craned his head up to look at him.

“I’m back.”

“Welcome home.”

And that was all that was said. But Lucifer then swiftly moved to the kitchen, where he moved to set the table for two more seats.

Well, it was a start. Or so you thought, but Lucifer’s cool behavior did not seem to put a damper on the evening, as the brothers broke out the New Year’s champagne early, and partied and laughed for Asmo’s return. Although you and Mammon did not get to have your date, you sat next to him on the couch and he threw an arm around you as you watched the shenanigans- such as Levi and Asmo battling it out in racing games- and you promised him that you would do something tomorrow.

Eventually, you all passed out. Lucifer had somehow prepared a huge feast for Asmo’s return despite the short notice, and it had knocked all of you out. Mammon and you were lucky to be on a couch when it happened, but when you came to in the middle of the night, you saw the others- Levi, Belphie, and Beel- not so lucky as they were piled on top of each other on the floor. Although maybe they were lucky, since Beel was probably a heater himself, and someone had been kind enough to put blankets on all of you. Satan was taking up an entire couch by himself, as whoever was sharing it with him must have vacated it. You didn’t see any sign of Solomon, and when you sat up and saw the clock on the television display 2:07 AM you figured he must have gone home at some point. But did Asmo-?

You pushed yourself off the cushions, sitting up and rubbing your eyes while you tried to be careful to not jostle Mammon awake. You gained your bearings, trying to figure out what had been to wake you. You didn’t particularly have to go to the bathroom, so what did-

“Thank you.”

You flinched and ducked below the couch, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. The voices were coming from the kitchen area, and you could see a small yellow light breaking up the cool blue of the moonlight from the back door. You slowly peeked over the couch to watch.

Asmodeus laughed behind his hand, and paused making something- a drink, probably not coffee, it was too late (unless it was for Lucifer of course, but that was a bad decision, and you winced as you thought about how that man was probably developing ulcers). Lucifer meanwhile, was undistracted, focused solely on his younger brother.

“I mean it, thank you.”

“You really don’t have to, Luce. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I- I missed you.”

Asmo laughed again, “You don’t have to force yourself. I know what’s going through your head. I always do,” he poked him in between the eyebrows.

“I should have greeted you better when you first came home. I was just… overwhelmed.”

“I know, dummy. I read your letter. Don’t worry. You got through to me.”

Lucifer’s hands moved. He started to lift them, and you saw them shaking. His breath was stuttering too. He seemed nervous, on edge, vulnerable. The light cast shadows across his face that he worked so hard to hide, his own stress and dark circles and guilt eating away at his looks.

“I was… I was so worried. So scared. When you left. And then. When I heard about what happened on set, I-”

“It’s okay, Luce. Like I said. I know what’s going on in your head. You don’t have to voice it. I know it’s especially hard for you. Since I still don’t even know the whole story. But-”

He turned to Lucifer and held out the mug.

“That’s why I did what I did. I was the one to voice it. I was the only one who could. I had to be the one to get the ball rolling.”

Lucifer surged forward and pulled Asmodeus into a hug. It was tighter than the one Beel had wrapped him in earlier. Lucifer was curling around him, protecting him. The shadows wrapped around them like wings, embracing Asmodeus entirely.

“But you shouldn’t have to bear that burden. You shouldn’t have to be the one to do it alone.”

Asmodeus didn’t say anything. You looked away and moved to lay back down next to Mammon. The last thing you heard was:

“Please stay. I can’t bear-”

“Don’t worry. I will. I’m sorry I was gone.”

In the morning, you surprised all the sleepyheads and hangover brains with breakfast. Despite the circumstances, Lucifer was still insisting everyone go in since it wasn’t the holiday for the office yet. Your tasks at work today were the reverse of yesterday. Instead of everyone being kind to your migraine, you made rounds to the different departments, making sure all of your housemates were taken care of and surviving. Diavolo seemed sympathetic to the situation, learning of Asmo’s return, and let everyone leave early. You were called to his office to be the messenger to deliver the news.

“By the way, MC,” Diavolo said from behind his desk, “Are you free on the 27th?”

“The 27th? Why?”

“Milord presumed you would have plans tonight, as it is still the lover’s holiday-” you choked on your tea as Barbatos spoke, the knowing gaze of both men making you flushed.

“And I assumed the other brothers would be vying for your attention the day after, so I thought the 27th would be an odd enough date that you might not have any plans yet.”

“I… guess that makes sense,” You were surprised he had put that much thought into it, “I know I’m going to eventually do something with Satan over our winter break, but we haven’t made plans yet. So, I think I’m free on the 27th.”

“Good. Then, would you like to join me for dinner that evening?”

“Huh? Uh, what?”

“Of course, if you find out you do have plans that day, we can easily reschedule.”

'No, it’s not that, just- What do you mean by dinner?’

“What do I mean?” He smiled behind his folded hands, “What do you think I mean?”

“It’s just that… whatever you have planned might be out of my price range-”

“Ah, I should have been more clear. This would be my treat. It would be a thank you for all the work you’ve done these past few months.”

“Of course, the place Milord has picked out is upscale, so maybe you should have Asmodeus help dress you. Just as a fair warning,” Barbatos leaned over the chair you were seated in, his gloved hands close to your shoulder as they pressed down on the back cushion. It was the most casual you had ever seen him act around you, act in front of Diavolo. Still, it wasn’t the first time he had gotten this close to you. Your heart stirred a little as you glanced at his gloved hands, remembering him coming to your rescue that night in the park.

“I would say we are both looking forward to spending time with you!” Diavolo gave a hearty laugh, “I do hope you won’t disappoint us.”

“Wait, Barbatos will be joining us too?”

You turned around to face the butler. He was unphased, “Of course. Unless you would prefer-”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” you waved your hands to clear up the misunderstanding, “I just thought I would get to try your cooking again. I thought that was all Diavolo ever ate, it didn’t fully click in my head until now that we would be eating at a restaurant-restaurant.”

“Do you hear that, Barbatos?” Diavolo was laughing even heartier now. Barbatos smiled at you, and gave a small bow.

“I am happy to hear you think that highly of my cooking.”

“I do! It’s five stars!”

“Barbatos is my trusted employee and I would be nothing without him, however, I must do without him at times,” Diavolo sighed dramatically and rested his head on his fist as he watched the two of you, “And to repay him for all his hard work, I do like to treat him as well.”

“It just so happened that we both wanted time to spend with you. We knew you were short on time, and so our interests happened to align,” Barbatos circled around to sit in the chair beside you.

“You will join us, won’t you?”

The two men were practically batting their eyelashes at you, or at least it felt like, with their smarmy smiles and enamored glances. You had no choice but to say yes, and when you finally left them, you sighed in relief.

Barbatos escorted you out of the office, but motioned for you to lean in once you were at the elevators.

“I’m flattered by your words. If you find yourself with more free time, I would welcome the chance to personally spoil you with my cooking.”

It was illegal for your heart to have to put up with this many handsome guys.

The elevator door opened, and you stiffly moved inside, giving Barbatos a cursory wave before he disappeared from view. You tried to calm yourself before you reached the lobby, and when the doors finally opened, your eyes landed on a head of white hair standing near the glass doors as snow fell behind the pane.

Well, they would have to keep trying, because in the end you only had room in your heart for one.

“Yo, MC!” Mammon waved as you approached. You hurried to meet him. Tonight was his night, afterall.

You woke up the next morning to knocking on your door. Through bleary eyes, you grabbed your phone to check the time, and saw it was only nine. Who would-

“Coming in now! We’re covering our eyes though so if you’re not dressed you still have five seconds to-”

The exaggerated, teasing tone was reminiscent of Asmo but too nasally and low to be him. You recognized it as Belphie, when he was in a good mood, which was rare. You sat up as the door broke open to reveal Belphie and Beel, and true to their word the two walked in with their hand in front of their faces and looking away, but you were in pajamas, so it was fine. You sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed and looked up at them as you rubbed crust out of your eyes.

“It’s fine. I’m dressed. What do you want?”

“Are you doing anything today?” Beelzebub asked. You reached for your phone again.

“Uh, what day is it? Saturday?” You looked at the calendar app, seeing the 26th back at you. Tomorrow was dinner. “Uh, no. I’m free. Why?”

“Come shopping with us.”

“Shopping?” No offense, but last time I did that with you guys, it ended really badly. You remembered Beel’s crying face and Belphie’s scowl. Why did they want to go out with you again? Well, Beel, you understood. But why Belphie-?

“There’s a cool market that pops up before New Year’s. There’s a lot of cool artist shops, and also food trucks,” Belphie pointed at Beel, “I need someone to help me supervise him.”

Ah, so that was it. Well, you could work with that.

You rolled your shoulders and popped your joints, “Okay, just let me get dressed and-”

“Also, I want to thank you for getting Asmo to come back.”

You opened your eyes and looked at Belphie. He had his hands in the pockets of his jacket, put his beanie was helping him hide even more of his face than his hair already did, but you could see the frown fighting to stay on his face along with the flush of embarrassment.

Belphie had acted rather baby-ish when Asmo returned, sticking to his side and clinging to him, which was a side of him you had never really seen before. Around the other brothers, he was obviously the youngest, but he was aloof and sarcastic, and seemed empty and missing entirely if he was not stuck to Beel’s side. But, you knew that he and Beel, being the youngest, had it the roughest.

“You’re welcome,” You said, standing up and deciding to take a risk. You walked forward and wrapped an arm around both of the boys in front of you, figuring that Belphie wouldn’t lash out if you were only hugging him half-way. You felt him stiffen for a moment, but Beel accepted your embrace easily, and soon, Belphie relented and accepted it as well.

“I’ll be ready in a few minutes. Wait outside, okay?”

“We can get breakfast on the way. I have enough money to cover you even if Beel takes out two entire trucks.”

Once the boys were gone, you turned back to the lump hiding under your blankets.

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Mhm,” Mammon grumbled in response.

Belphie was not lying about the market. It was a beautiful little place made more beautiful by the glowing, warm lights that hung from post to post, even in the daytime. The snow on the ground made the scene beautiful without being terrible cold, still you and Belphie stuck close to Beelzebub who acted as your personal heater. While a lot of your morning ended up sampling the different food trucks as Beel’s eyes were certainly not bigger than his mouth, you did have time to browse the wares from the small business booths that lined the rest of the bazaar.

What surprised you even more was Belphie caught you eyeing some jewelry at one stall, and pulled out his wallet.

“Do you like that one?”

“Yeah. Look at how the light hits it,” You held up the piece and let it spin, reflecting all the colors bouncing off the snow and the white tents, “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“...Yeah. Excuse me,” he turned to the owner, “We’d like to buy this one please. Here-” He started to fish through the several bills in his wallet.

“Belphie, wait! You don’t have to.”

“I said I would thank you for bringing Asmo home. This is part of it. I didn’t give you anything on Christmas anyway, so consider this a thank you.”

He nudged your hand away when you tried to stop him from pulling out the money. He gave them to the owner and had them box up the gift.

“Besides,” Belphie handed you the box, “Not just for Asmo. For Beel. And everything else since I met you.”

You looked at him strangely, “I hardly think I’ve done anything that-”

“You have.”

He shoved the box into your hands more forcibly, his one eye looking at you with something… strange.

“Now let’s find Beel. If we’re not careful, he’ll destroy another truck,” he sighed. Dramatic, he strolled away, but you were left staring after him for a moment. Your fingers flexed around the small box, remembering the force he shoved it at you with. The force with which he nudged your hand away, that it was almost a slap. The brothers had strength despite their appearances, you had learned that long ago, but something about Belphie’s behavior was still off, still not adding up.

You were certain he was thankful for Asmo being back home. But you couldn’t say you were close with him yet.

“Asmo, I need your help,” you approached him once you were back home. He was lounging on the couch, with Levi and Satan sitting on either side. Beel and Belphie, after dropping their shoes off and placing the takeout bags on the kitchen counters, also moved to the couches. Everyone was being pulled to Asmo like a magnet since his return. It had only been two days, and even though they had seen him at work, the relief they all felt was obvious. The fact that Beel was going to him over the food he had just brought home said volumes. You felt bad to take him away, even for a moment.

“Anything for my lovely assistant!”

“Well, I was wondering if you could help me style an outfit before tomorrow night?”

“Oh? I thought you already went out with Mammon~”

“This is-” You felt nervous because of the others’ eyes on you now, “Diavolo and Barbatos invited me to dinner. They said it would be upscale. Barbatos was the one who suggested I talk to you.”

Lucifer had come down the hall coincidentally, and stopped and stared at you.

“Diavolo invited you?” He seemed surprised. No, wary?

“He said it was just to thank me for my work so far. That’s all!” You tried to assuage his concerns.

“Well then, that obviously calls for a stylist’s work!” Asmo clapped his hands together and stood up, “Thank goodness you told me now and not tomorrow morning! Let’s get to work right away.”

Asmo started to march you towards your room. Lucifer stepped in your way.

“Where are they taking you? What time? How long will you be gone-”

“What are you, their dad, Luce?” Levi shouted from the couch. Lucifer’s eye twitched, and he folded his arms.

“They didn’t tell me. I texted them earlier today to confirm, I’m sure they’ll get back to me soon.”

“They?”

“Barbatos is also a guest. Not working.”

“Oh, then we have to dress you up extra special if it’s his day off too!” Asmo pushed you further down the hall. As the door closed, you heard one of the brothers yell-

“Don’t dress them too nice or Mammon will be jealous!”

Around six p.m. on the 27th, Barbatos and Diavolo came to the apartment door to escort you. It felt a little silly, like they were coming to ask Lucifer for permission. The man in question was standing behind you in the entranceway, tapping his foot, and looking anxious as Diavolo stepped inside and clapped him on the back, promising to take good care of you.

“It’s just dinner, my good friend! Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn in a few days' time,” he then leaned in and whispered, poorly since you could still hear him, to Lucifer, “This is mainly a treat I arranged for Barbatos’ sake.”

“MC and I do not get many opportunities to talk besides work,” Barbatos smiled at you. He was out of his uniform, but wearing a gray suit with a teal overcoat, “I admit, I am a bit jealous of the seven of you who get so much of their time.”

“As am I,” Diavolo laughed. He was dressed in a black suit with a red vest, and his coat- or was it more of a cape- had fur trimming. You were sure it must be real fur, “Now, come along, MC. As much as I would love to stay and chat with everyone, we do have reservations!”

Lucifer still looked a little off, so before you walked out the door after them, you turned to him and asked outright.

“Is something wrong?”

“No.” He immediately said, but at your continued stare, he shut his eyes and sighed, “I just do not want you to exhaust yourself. You’re still recovering from your finals and… other stressors.”

His eyes were nervous, flickering from your face to looking away at some corner of the room. You felt strange. You were flattered that he was worried about you, and it was not the first time he had shown such concern for you, but… so publicly, especially in front of Diavolo? He must be feeling rather relieved and thankful from you returning Asmo home.

“Thank you for worrying about me,” you said, reaching out and patting his arm, which made his eyes shoot back to you. You thought he was going to flinch or pull away, but he resisted and remained still, “But I promise I’ll be okay. I’ve been sleeping, for one. And, if it makes you feel more at ease, I promise I’ll text at least one of you tonight if anything happens. Alright?”

“...Very well.”

“Alright then. I’ll be back later.”

Barbatos and Diavolo stood on either side of the door, framing your path as you stepped over the threshold and out into the hall. Lucifer watched as you made your way into the elevator, and you waved at him as the doors closed. Once downstairs, there was an expensive, black limo waiting for the three of you, and to your surprise, someone else was in the driver’s seat.

“You’re not driving today?” You asked Barbatos.

“It’s my day off, remember?” He said as he opened the door for you.

“If it’s your day off, then you shouldn’t be doing that either,” You moved to take the door from him, and dramatically gestured for him to enter first.

“Apologies, a force of habit,” he laughed.

Diavolo had you climb in next, and although the limo was spacious, you still felt seated “between” them. The car had cushy seats, and some colorful lights that pulsated softly throughout the interior. There was a minifridge, which Diavolo wasted no time opening to pop open a bottle to serve. Everything was already ritzy, and you had not even pulled away from the apartments yet.

“I must say, Asmodeus is truly an expert at his craft,” Barbatos eyed you up and down, and while you felt a little nervous, his gaze, nor Diavolo’s once he turned to look at you as well, was not lecherous at all.

“I must agree. You look wonderful. Thank you for joining us.”

“Thank you for having me,” you said awkwardly, shrugging before folding your hands and staring out the window. The two men were still smiling at you, but you weren’t quite sure what to say, “So, where are we eating tonight?”

“Oh, you will adore the place,” Diavolo took a sip of his glass and leaned forward, talking excitedly, “My father always took me here as a child. It’s very upscale, but the staff is wonderful and…”

“I still feel like an intern doesn’t deserve all this treatment,” you said bashfully as you took a sip of your own glass before setting it back down on the table. You were in a beautiful room of marble and Greek columns, with a dome in the ceiling decorated with a piece meant to rival the famous frescos. The wait staff did everything here, pulled the chairs out and folded and unfolded your napkins, and remained on standby for the moment your glass got a drop less full to refill it. At first, it was a bit overwhelming, but the smiles and reassurances of your companions helped you relax.

“But you’re not just an intern,” Diavolo smiled at you from across the table again, “You’ve already gone above and beyond my expectations, MC.”

“Indeed.”

“It was the right choice to hire you.”

“Well, I guess it was just luck.”

“Luck?”

“That I got scouted. I would never have known about the internship otherwise. You knew that I was really clueless about the D.C. and C.C. when I applied, right?”

Diavolo and Barbatos glanced at each other, but Diavolo smiled and spoke first.

“Yes, but I believe I told you that made you an asset, didn’t it? You didn’t know of our status or fame, and so you were able to approach everything with a fresh perspective. I suppose I should find out who scouted you and give them my highest praise.”

“I wouldn’t call it luck, per se,” Barbatos added, “I believe it was more fate.”

“Fate?”

“Yes. Especially the way you’ve wormed your way into the brothers’ hearts, that is not the work of mere luck.”

“I agree. It would be luck if you were only someone skilled. But you are also kind, compassionate, and inquisitive. You go above and beyond what is expected of you. That is why it must be fate that you came to work for us.”

You smiled, but there was something in his statement that negged you. You had been riding on the high of Asmo polishing you up, the fancy treatment, the compliments, so it did not sink in before, but that word- inquisitive- it pierced something, cracking the mask of the scene- of their smiles. And then it made you think of Barbatos' line. Wormed your way into the brothers’ hearts…

“...And that is why tonight is a celebration of you,” Diavolo continued, from some statement you didn’t quite fully hear, “and of course, Barbatos,” Diavolo laughed behind his glass, a little drunk, “I do my best to take care of my own.”

“We must do what we can to take care of our own.”

You stood up suddenly, knees banging into the underneath of the table and sending your glass nearly knocking over. Diavolo looked at you curiously, but Barbatos was more perceptive, less under the cloud of alcohol. He noticed the allure of the night had shattered, he probably saw you shaking, your eyes burning with rage.

“MC?” Diavolo asked, “Is something the matter?”

You had forgotten. You had been so overwhelmed with Asmo, the project, the production, that you had forgotten weeks ago. Forgot what had happened when you were just entering Beel’s department. Forgot all the frustration you felt from the cold gazes, the smug, secretive smirks the two shared when you were in their office months ago, demanding what was going on with your phone, your laptop, the whole city with information just missing.

Wormed your way into the brothers’ hearts? You wanted to laugh. These two manipulative- They hid information, yet dangled pieces in front of you to keep you just interested enough. Just enough to get you to work in a roundabout way. How could you forget?

Even this whole conversation. Luck? Fate? You bet there was more to the conversation here tonight too. Was this whole invite just another set up? Another way for them to-

“MC,” Barbatos tried again, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m leaving.”

“MC!”

You turned and started to storm out the way you had entered, but Barbatos moved quickly and caught your arm. You moved to shrug him off, but his grip was strong too. That’s right. Everyone is a fucking bodyguard around here. You glared at the waiters. Probably these guys too.

“MC, please, whatever is wrong- sit. Let us discuss it,” Barbatos said. You really wanted to shrug him off, but you knew it as fruitless, so you let him guide you back towards the table. You huffed, but refused to sit back down. Diavolo appeared to have sobered up a bit, because he was looking at you with concern. Was that also a farce too?

“I remembered something.”

“Something you had to do?” Diavolo cocked his head.

“No. Something you both did. Something I forgot because I’ve been so busy and exhausted lately. ‘Worming my way into the brothers’ hearts’ as you so put it.”

You crossed your arms, and suddenly you felt overwhelmed. They were both just looking up at you, innocently, and even though you knew they were anything but innocent, you felt stupid, and anxious, doing this in the middle of such a fancy place. For not just shutting up and enjoying the night. But how could you enjoy it if it was just another tactical move?

You rubbed the back of your hand across your eyes to brush away the tears you felt. Words from weeks ago were coming back to you, feelings you had fought with Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Levi, and Mammon. We take care of our own. At the time those words had meant to keep you out, keep you separate. Ostracize you from the brothers. But then Asmo had confided in you. Mammon had reassured you. You weren’t an outsider. You did belong. At least in the brothers’ lives.

You sniffled again, and looked up, trying to not let your tears ruin the makeup Asmo had done, but you had already wiped your face, so it was probably smudged anyway. You saw something black on the back of your hand, so that was that, and you felt the tears come faster with frustration at how stupid you were.

“MC, please, sit down-”

“You know,” you said, voice shaky and resigned, “I really wanted to enjoy tonight. But I don't know what the two of you want from me. What you are planning. What you want me to do. You obviously know everything I’ve been up to, so stop playing dumb. Stop acting like-”

“I also wanted to enjoy tonight,” Barbatos cut you off, his expression tense but… nervous? His lips pursed like they didn’t know what face to make, and his eyes looked to the ground before he gained enough confidence to look you directly in the eye.

Diavolo spoke to the servants, “Leave us for a moment.”

They left the room quickly. Barbatos continued.

“You are right. I do know what you’ve been up to. I work the security cameras. I keep tabs on all the employees. I’ve been watching Asmodeus very closely. I know about what he told you, and I know what the others have told you too. I also know how all of this- the brothers, Milord and I- have drained you.”

He grabbed you again, this time, your hand, but this time gently. He took the handkerchief from his pocket and wiped off the smudge, but when he was done he didn’t let go. He massaged your fingers as he spoke, almost like a nervous fidget, and it was then you realized Barbatos wasn’t wearing any gloves.

“I meant what I said about being jealous of the brothers, who get so much time to grow close to you. To fight and then learn to forgive and you learn to do the same with them. The last two times we spoke, I felt our relationship was tarnished. I wanted to fix it. To move forward.”

Barbatos continued to knead your hand, almost like he was pleading with you to forgive him. He looked so different, so vulnerable, compared to the version in your memory that had lied and played ignorant with a smile on his lips. You turned your angry gaze to Diavolo, who had been silent during this confession.

“And you?”

“I instructed Barbatos to act to keep the brothers’ history a secret from you, because that is all they have ever desired since that day. They’ve lived in fear, MC. I had to act to protect them. At the time, you were still an outsider in that regard to most of them. So, if we had to play the villains, then so be it.”

“But censoring information like that-”

“You have heard much of the story already, MC,” Diavolo sighed, “Your emotions right now are making you forget. Stop and think for a moment. It is not just me who would stand to gain from protecting that information.”

Barbatos let go of your hand. You took a breath, and did as he said. The C.C. was the one who faked their deaths, so it did make more sense for them to do that over Diavolo. And if both companies were working together because of some deal made then, all the more control they would.

“I’m sorry. You were right. I had forgotten about that,” You took a breath again, “Truthfully, it’s not the censorship I’m really mad about now. That’s just… one part of it. I don’t know who you both are. What you want from me. If this dinner is supposed to accomplish anything.”

“All we want- is to let you know the real us,” Diavolo and Barbatos looked at each other again, “It was my orders that made Barbatos the villain in your eyes, and this, is my apology. To both of you. I understand that before that incident, you two were on the path to becoming good friends. Or, at least, friendly co-workers.”

“Is that truly all this is?”

You wanted to believe it. You wanted to believe it so bad.

“Yes,” Diavolo said, “I still won’t give you information if you come to me for it. I’ve put it in the hands of the brothers now, and if the rest of them choose to tell you, then so be it. My job has always been to protect them, regardless of what they choose to do.”

“MC, please,” Barbatos was pleading. It was wrong. Your stomach twisted itself up in guilt. You sighed.

You finally sat back down.

“I… am sorry for ruining dinner.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. This is what tonight is for.”

“No, I ruined it. It’s okay. I’m sure there… was a million more mature ways for me to go about that without acting like that. I really don’t belong in a fancy place like this.”

“Then we’ll take you to a million more places like this until you feel comfortable,” Diavolo smiled, and signaled for the waiters to come back into the room, “Now, are we ready for dessert?”

You stared down at your lap and tried to steel yourself. Barbatos, still holding your hand, gave you a reassuring squeeze to draw your eyes up to him. He was smiling softly, and it made you feel a little bit better, like the night wasn’t completely ruined after all, but your eyes still stung.

After dinner, Diavolo had the driver drop you off a little ways away from the apartment so that you could walk off any of the mixed feelings still lingering. Barbatos was the only one who kept pace with you. Diavolo remained a few steps ahead each time.

“I hope you understand that… I was only doing my job at the time. I must act in accordance to what-”

“It’s fine, Barbatos. Really. Let’s just drop it. I’ve forgiven you already.”

“But you still are hostile to me.”

“It’s going to take some time, okay?”

“I apologize.”

Silence. Except for your footsteps. The silence was weird. Not off putting, but… familiar? The last time you had been with Barbatos like this was that night he had rescued you after you nearly froze to death from a dissociative episode.

You stopped walking.

“Thank you for rescuing me that one time… When I was in a bad mental state. I mean, I guess you probably knew what that was about too!” You laughed airly, and Barbatos frowned at your ill attempt at a joke, “But… Thank you. I probably would have frozen out there if it wasn’t for you.”

“The thanks should go to Lord Diavolo, for sending me. Or for the brothers, for alerting him to your abse-”

“But it was you who found me.”

Barbatos stopped walking and turned to face you.

“It was you who came to get me. Who knew what to say to get me to move again. So, the thanks goes to you.”

And with that, you took a step forward. A small one, but it was one that Barbatos followed after nonetheless.

The two men returned you to the apartment around nine. And although you did end up enjoying the meal, you were thankful when goodbyes were had. You closed the door and ran through the entryway to the living room where everyone still was, and practically threw yourself onto the couch on top of Asmo.

“Welcome back- oh Darling you look a mess! What happened?”

“I’m fine. Just tired, is all,” you said, burying your face in a pillow. You were thankful none of the men decided to push it, and were grounded by them all of them brushing a hand over your back or smoothing over your hair as they resumed whatever show they were watching or game they were playing. You even felt Lucifer’s hand, he was the one who chose to comb through your hair gently, and you could tell by his sigh that he was relieved you were home too.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me: shall we date?#omswd #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #poland's writing

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