#from human to something else entirely
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Not me thinking the hole in the dragon’s stomach looked like pussy yesterday only to realize today that oh yeah that might have been the point
Falin is literally being reborn
10/10 framing I love this series so much and TRIGGER is killing it on the visuals
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin#episode 12#holy shit it hit me like a freight train just now#incredible#spoilers but uh#reborn#reshaped#from the womb of the dungeon itself she changes#from human to something else entirely#anime only it will make a whole lot more sense after next week’s episode promise
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something about trust
Writing below the cut!
“How… does it feel?” Locus asked haltingly. Lopez shrugged. “<Weird. But I expected that.>” Locus hummed, his brow furrowed like he was lost in thought as he scanned Lopez’s face. Lopez grabbed Locus’ wrists, bringing his hands to his throat. “What are you--?” “<One way to test it. Take my head off.>” Locus’ eyes widened, his expression turning panicked. He tried to pull his hands away, but Lopez held him steady. “<You are the only person strong enough,>” Lopez said firmly, giving the other no room to balk any further. “<If this synthskin doesn’t fix the problem, I want to know now, not later.>” Lopez could feel the way Locus’s hands shifted, his fingers flexing as he fought some internal debate. Lopez couldn’t read his mind, but the flicker of those marble grey eyes was telling as Locus looked at his hands around Lopez’s throat, then to his face and then back again and again. “<It doesn’t hurt, if that’s what all this fuss is about.>” Not strictly true, having his head removed wasn’t exactly a pleasant feeling. But better to do it now, with some degree of control, than in the middle of a fight or an accident. The sensation of feeling everywhere his skin touched was strange though, the normally very localized sensors spread out across the surface of the synthskin. Was this how humans felt things all the time? No wonder they were so easily distracted. Neither of them moved. “You’re certain?” Locus asked finally, his voice little more than a whisper. Lopez raised an eyebrow and let himself grin just a little at being able to convey the sentiment properly. Maybe there were some advantages to the synthskin after all. “<I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.>” A nod, then the pressure. Lopez knew Locus was strong, for a human, but the feeling of his hands tightening around his neck and pulling at his jaw, the base of his metal skull… His head didn’t budge, and the pressure eased. Lopez clicked his tongue, releasing Locus’ wrists. “<Good. That is one problem fixed, at least.>”
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb locus#rvb lopez#samuel ‘locus’ ortez#lopez the heavy#locpez#my art#batsy art#batsy writes#sometimes i swear i open clip to draw one thing and i blink and something else entirely has spawned in#im not MAD im just like#damn#okay#technically part of a longer thing i have pinging around my head with them and lopez getting himself a proper synthskin bc i accidentally#really really liked the more human look on him and went welp time to make up a reason to draw him like that more#im not immune to cool robot glowy eyes#lopez gets curly hair bc i said so but he would never let it get long enough to be fluffy#heart breaking as it is#technically i drew this last night fromwhen its getting posted but i wanted to give the halloween comic a little bit of a breather lmaoooo#sometimes the fully clothed piece is just hornier than it has any right to be and i think that means it gets some space first lmao#yes this is scheduled for 8am bc it amuses me and thats about how long im willing to wait before unleashing it#a whole 13 hours from when i finished drawing it yahoo
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#barton subconsciously dehumanizing himself because of his lack of empathy since that sort of connection is literally what makes us human-#is... yeah. i don't even know what to say at this point y'all JSJS besides that if/when he starts to completely separate himself from-#everyone else and uses that as a way to 'excuse' his cannibalism bc eating people would be something entirely different if he wasn't-#'human' even though there is no way to excuse it bc it is TERRIBLE... it may or may not be over for some people ���#tw: mentions of cannibalism.
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thinking about how lain and connections. how everyone in the show is seeking connections with others and how many of the humans believe the way for everyone to become truly connected is through the wired.
but lain herself comes from the other side of this. she had the wired, she basically *was* the wired. and yet she chose to try and become human, to give herself a pretend little family and to go to school and to forget she was ever anything else.
but when people were trying to merge reality and the wired, when people were trying to make themselves gods, lain stopped it because she wanted to do right by alice. lain may have struggled to make human connections, but she did make the one. and that was enough to change the entire tide. that alone was enough to let her sacrifice everything she'd gained and return to an existence that terrified her where she would never be acknowledged again.
#this is all over the place but finished a mostly complete rewatch of lain the other day#and something about the entire god->human and human->god that's going on there where lain becomes human enough to stop the merger#serial experiments lain#also gah. alice and lain. their entire relationship is a Lot. at its base it's just that alice is fundamentally kind.#we know she would have been just as nice to chisa. but lain appreciates it because no one else reached out and it all goes from there
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I’m back!!
#I have returned!#not dead!#sorry folks I was in the wilderness for a few weeks#gotta become human again#might take a little break from dragon age posting but never fear the dragon age brain rot never truly leaves#being disconnected from the internet for a while made me think about my life lmao#might make some art of some personal projects I turn around in my head#or something else entirely idk#probably will be a minute before I start posting again#I never really intended to post consistently on this place and it felt good to get rid of that pressure I was placing on myself#I also don’t want to put myself in a position where people only expect one thing from me#these are all problems I made up though nobody has ever made me feel like I have to do something#people have been nothing but kind to me here and it makes me 💖💗💞🩷#I just wanna make art about other things I guess#do not worry though I will be making lots of dragon age content it just might be awhile#I just need to feel real again#all of this could be a lie and I’ll come back in like three days with more art who knows#sending my love to my beautiful mutuals#💕💞💖💗#and of course all my love to the people who support my art yall are the best I reread the tags you leave all the time#ramble over
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it is awesome that me and my roommate and my coworker have all had iq tests it is so random (for me it was because my stepmom was a psychologist and she needed to train someone on how to conduct one and for them it was because the town they're from is polluted with lead and a research team came down to test the effects of lead pollution on children's intelligence) so we talk about it sometimes (it started at work where my coworker and i got on the subject of iq and found we have both been officially tested and we are both "technically geniuses" according to this metric) but both of us mentioned we were insecure growing up knowing the number because we aren't extraordinary geniuses like 170+ so we never disclosed our numbers until relatively recently (idek if we were given the same iq test i know the numbers are different between the different tests. idk which test i was given and idk which test he and my roommate were given) but regardless i have the higher number 😈 and he told my roommate my number and she was like omg we have the same iq!!! but he actually told her the wrong number and i am actually one singular point higher than her. me and her have discussed our personal intelligence analyses of the people we know and we have ranked everyone in our minds and our rankings are exactly the same except i think i'm the most intelligent and she thinks she is the most intelligent. like my ranking is 1) me 2) her 3) coworker 4) other roommate 5) our other friend and hers is the same except with her at the top and me as number two. all of this is just for fun because none of us actually subscribe to iq as an important metric (i am a college dropout and i work at a gas station for example and people i went to school with who i know were less "innately intelligent" than me are like in law school now so yknow. it doesn't necessarily predict success and "innate intelligence" does not outweigh hard work it just makes certain cognitive tasks easier for us regardless of what we do with that) and i admire my friends and peers who have strong work ethics so much because i think i am the laziest most "voluntarily" dysfunctional person on the planet. the most inspiring person i have ever known is my high school friend alivia i loved and love her so much and she would get mad in school because she would study for weeks for an exam and i wouldn't study at all (once i didn't even know we had an exam until a few hours before) and i would score higher than her but i think the fact that she cares and has a genuine drive to succeed is more important than any potential "innate intelligence". work ethic is so important... alas i have very little. my inspiration comes from a desire to help people i care about. like at my current job i want to work hard and get tasks done because i care about my coworkers and i don't want to slack and make work harder for them and my manager is actually awesome and i know she is going through a whole lot of personal shit and i want to at least make work less stressful for her. i do like working and being productive so it is fine but she gave me and my coworker a verbal warning a few weeks ago because she was watching cameras and just observing the store and realized we were not getting shit done like we should and i felt so bad so i have been working moderately hard instead of totally slacking lately. we work at a gas station it isn't hard yknow. idk what the point of this is i think it is nice to have my number in my head in some ways even though it was torturous in others when i was younger. i wanted to be like. albert einstein. i'm not. i'm corinne and that is awesome which i have realized with age. me and my coworker were talking a while ago (haters will call it an insecure cope) but we feel like we are in the sweet spot of iq where we can still connect meaningfully with the people around us despite being "more intelligent" (think about flowers for algernon... neither of us are at a point where we are so "above" everyone that we can't connect).
#regardless i have always cared more about the percentile than the iq number#like ok i am ''more intelligent'' than 99.997% of humanity#when i was younger esp during my teens i rejected this entirely like ''you should never thing you are smarter than everyone else!!!'' and i#still believe this to an extent. if you automatically assume you are smarter and know better than everyone around you it is a recipe for#cognitive dissonance and pure voluntarily stupidity. like ''my assumptions are absolutely true and any contrary evidence is just#from unintelligent people who aren't on my level'' and i used to argue with my mom about this#i do think my mom is kinda dumb even though she is extremely successful in the engineering field#she doesn't understand anything outside of it. but i digress#my instincts have been right about so many things but there are a few major things i have been wrong about which have kept me humble#and if i can find that i am wrong/incorrect with new information i have high hopes that education can help everyone#education and work are more important than ''iq'' in my eyes#this isn't a post about criticizing iq but i could make one. i have not read a lot about iq so if i made one rn i would be going off#pure instinct. i would rather read and dissect defenses and critiques of iq though#should i make such a post#because corinne doesn't innately know everything and different perspectives are essential to coming to an understanding#anyways going back to being a teenager mad at my mom for thinking she is smarter than everyone#i have with age and experience come to realize i kind of actually am smarter than most people i've interacted with#at least from my perspective. but you never know what intellect people are hiding#it is stupid to assume you are better than everyone because you think you are smarter than them based on your own self-serving biases#i just love talking to people and dissecting what they are saying especially if i disagree#it is one of the most important things you can do to increase your knowledge and understanding of the world around you#acknowledging that you are biased according to your own life experiences and everyone around you has something different worth considering#even if you listen and think about it and decide you disagree. at least you know why you disagree. i guess ''rhetorical analysis''#important skill that is often neglected
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Episode 8 I am so scared....
#mel magical girl transformation.... her mother's weapon... christ... mel will save them all vi step aside!!#this is so funny... mel with her bodysuit and golden bodypaint walking thru the valley with her new pet crow.... slay#SINGED WILL CONTROL VIKTOR???? AND VANDER??? AMBESSA ENOUGH! VIKTORS VOICE OMG!!#LORIS REMINDING VI OF VANDER NOOOOO I KNEW THIS WAS COMING!!! CAILTYN TAKING MADDIES HAND AWAY FROM HER AKDJSK#arrested jinx???? OH MY GOOOD JINX!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HER PUPILS ARE SO WIDE SHES SO OUT OF IT#YES CAITLYN END THE CYCLE!!!!! they repaired the council table with golden stuff.... YES JAYCE FINALLY REALIZED!!!! OOF NOT THE BEST MOMENT!#UPSIDE DOWN KISS COME ON!!! Viktor realizing too that it has been all jayces fault.... this is so sad.... what a breakup#silco talking to jinx about breaking the cycle... he became a hallucination too.... not so bad like the others thats inch resting#THE HUG NOOOOOOO YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH HER????? SHES GONNA DIEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO VI AGAIN IN PRISON UNABLE TO SAVE HER SISTER!!!!!#theres no good version of me after we just fucking saw it im gonna be sick.... SEVIKA AND THE FIRELIGHT GUY IN THE COUNCIL ROOM??#what tf are you wearing jayce.... an outsider force putting an end to a civil war who woulda thot.... OMG THE PARALEL TO THEIR FIRST MEETING#WHAT THE HELL!!! NOT IN THE PRISON CELL!!!! AFTER VI JUST TOLD HER THAT??? AKDJAKSJ CAITLYN HOLD YOURSELF!!! my god i need a pause#vi does look so good from the back.... but my god why are they doing this now akdjsksjk maddie is upstairs akdhaksn WHYYYYYYY NOW????#no WAYYYYY WE GOT HER BACK TATTOO REVEAL NOW!!!!!! WHAT THE HEEEEEEEELLL OH MY GOOOOOD VIIIII GOING DOWN AND LOOKING UP THANK YOU GOD!!!!AAA#cait laughing... girl i would too... that was all so detailed too like damn... vi was amazed by the Kirammountains....#so thats it... can i be honest.... a little too unemotional.... like their kiss was something else entirely....#but this is vi just going DAMN!!! RIGHT NOW!!! and pouncing... which i understand but their bed scene... come on.. i needed to cry with this#so no talk about reconciliation..... *throws phone on the floor and jumps in skateboard and breaks it in half*#vander dying with viktors humanity..... and sky.... viktor getting his mask.... my god.... and vander losing his memories.... should we all#talking tag#watching arcane season 2#watching arcane#you know i understand caitlyn admited she was manipulated and what vi said about second chances but.... apologies please.....#oh now i get it she sent the guards to the gates so jinx could escape..... alright alright... i thought she did that only so they could fuck#well vi did follow her sisters advice and got with her i guess akdhaksjak which okay is nice bc she said she didn't need to feel guilty#about being happy.... alright i understand now *viktors voice*#alright i was slow my bad... vi pounced on her bc she is just so grateful that she let jinx go and cailtyn did let go of her anger.... aight
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once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc
#Just so fucking bizarre to me how people can be Like This. there has to be something so wrong with your brain on a fundamental level#i can’t even laugh about this or anything because i genuinely feel pity for these people. it’s so sad to me how you’re gonna be like 20#and then go in a niche tumblr community and create drama over Nothing. over Thin Fucking Air#like do you not have a life? do you not have college? or a job? doesn’t it get tiring? don’t you ever feel ashamed about all this#and the fact that they go and complain about the shipping and the ‘fandombrained’ people as well…. oh my god#how are you going to be TWENTY. and DO THAT. are you seriously sick. ? do you need help#just say you are homophobic and that you hate kids and go. it’ll save everyone a bunch of time for sure#anyways. as someone who has been a rain world fan since 2018. i love you embracing canon. i love you changing canon. i love you disregarding#canon entirely. i love you ships that make sense in canon & that make absolutely zero sense at all. i love you fancharacters that don’t#follow canon rules. i love you ‘cringe’ fancharacters and self inserts. i love you self shipping. i love you oc x canon shipping.#and i love you taking inspiration from designs. i love you community & i love you artists & i love you art#i love you borrowing elements and being inspired and referencing something because you liked it.#are fandoms perfect? GOOD GOD no. is every Fan perfect? no. am i also sometimes annoyed or irrationally pissed off over a ship that#i think is stupid and is illogical. Yes! i’m only human! but i can still love and appreciate the whole CREATIVITY of it all. and the whole#Fun that people are having. i love you having fun. if i don’t like it or if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just Cope#instead of hateposting about it on main and indirectly bullying people who are most likely children. or lgbt. or both#anyways. please continue doing whatever you want. The world is your oyster and you only live on earth once#everyone else can fuck off
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freak Alpha (Avatar AU)
#nobody asked everyone needed#oc: vincent elijah vahn#avatar AU#oKAY sooooooo AU where Vince is for forcibly sent on Pandora#and it is THE Vince:tm: coz the timeline *kinda* matches my cyberpunk timeline with the Pandora being discovered between 2050 and 2077#sure age would be altered a bit and shit unless he'd be over 100 when he first got there#but hes THE traumatized ex-military Vince roped back into army :]#and he's given an Avatar based on his DNA and something else coz whitecoats like to experiment right :]]#so his Avatar is a bit mutated - has more melanin/black pigment in his body and is bigger than average na'vi#and it grows patches of dark fur in certain places (like a lion almost idk idk)#labcoats making a fucking experimental HYBRID#the scarily fit merc x big alien = ultimate soldier am i right :]#its safe to say he goes feral and is extremally aggressive#he hates whats going on with the natives so he kills his entire unit and runs off#either takes his body somehow or his body isnt even there to begin with idk but they dont simply unplug him like Sully in the first movie#maybe coz its experimental it would kill off the Avatar hybrid if its cut off its human host and they spend ass ton of money on it already#and aint done studying it#but but no important rn he befriends one of those big black scawwy doggos#Thanators right#he starts living in the forest like a feral little guy; aside from being a freakish hybrid he basically looks and behaves like a native#hides from natives and lives a secluded life :]#thank you for coming to my ted talk#saevus brutalis art#saevus brutalis#saevus-brutalis art#original character#oc#na'vi oc#na'vi#avatar oc
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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one of the things that particularly pisses me off about art discussions, either in how nowadays everything has to aim for more and more realism in art styles and even live action to be seen as "real art", and in dismissing more abstract styles of artwork as not "real art" and having no inherent worth, is that they explicitly do not consider realism an art style either. to them, realism is just a given of "good" art, not chosen but rather just default. which i hate, because you CAN pick realism as an intentional style and a purposeful choice to suit a narrative, and all this results in is no one noticing or understanding why you made that choice or why that choice works better than any other possible choice to tell the story you want to tell.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#like i like realism because i have a heavy focus on anatomy as a theme#on the body as something innately complex and with a lot of feelings to have about it in all its messy ugly states#im interested in all the complex ways the body intersects with its environment and with culture and with other people#as the outside as contrasting the inside or serving as a strange reflection of it#like im kind of going for a lot of merfolk designs to not be particularly visually different from each other#they have incredibly similar silhouettes and thats on purpose#i want all of their differences and visual traits to be things that they would find more prominent#but we would struggle to pick apart without learning about them deeper and committing these to knowledge#because thats so much been my experience with trying to tell different individuals of the same species of wild animal apart#and i want to use that as a lens to then discuss how humans would then interact with an entirely different sapient species#and what happens when you are someone who experiences that#of someone else not recognizing you as individuals like you do each other#of them not even trying to adapt or learn your differences#what damage it does when this happens to you#and how much the world opens up when someone actually does learn these little differences#but of course#no one else recognizes this because everyone just thinks realism is the default#realism cannot be a purposeful choice done for a reason#realism is just What You Are Supposed To Do and Unevocative Of Deeper Meaning
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the fuck do you mean I have to leave....
#like. i fully knew this would happen#but the moment is just. so disheartening#'what if we lose the best of our generation' girl so i wasnt the best... cause you just sent me out with low expectations....#<- ngl this fits my character... but at what cost#the way i characterize lori (my vault dweller) is that shes jokey and shes fun and she doesnt take things too seriously#shes had sort of an 'adventuring spirit' and was mostly skilled with weapons and thats why she was sent out#and like. everything was silly to her in the wasteland until her companion (katya) died under the cathedral. then it became too real#and the master conversation traumatized her a bit cause like. here is the creature that caused suffering. and now its real and its so much#more horrible than she was taking it as#also the masters body horror freaked her OUT. cause supermutants etc seemed like just... altered humans. just enemies or just a person#but the master (even tho technically posthuman) was something else entirely#and it became so real and she got a huge reality check and she cant look at anything the same#if not for the master shed probably get back to the vault and keep going in and out. but after the cathedral? she just wanted to go home#safe underground with normal people. maybe nobody would understand her but at least she wouldn't be in that horrible world out there#maybe shed even go with ian and tycho and maybe even dogmeat. and they could be safe from freaks and zealots. but no#when she finally did want to go home - she got locked out. reminded that she was never the best of the generation#and when she finally became that and saved everyone - shes still wrong. not good enough -> too good and too much#shed be a bad influence. she was meant to do the job she was given and shut up and be thrown away when she fulfilled her duty#which ties into her never really doing a job - she doublecrosses gizmo and that maltese falcon guy and the adytum guy etc etc#even when she gets tandi back she goes back to murder everyone there (raiders) though she said she wouldn't#but before it was silly. she was being smart and having fun adventuring even if it got difficult sometimes#but the master was real. katyas death was real. ian almost died. everyone who ever agreed to help her either died or almost died (followers#and bos paladins#)#like shit. lori was NOT meant to be that deep........#also i have thoughts on aria (vault dweller i played before the save got corrupted and i had to abandon him) but there less formed#because when i had to stop playing him and make lori he was only at necropolis for the 1st time#oh my god.... this too ties into lori being always secondary#my poor girl.... i think she died young#young as in like. 30-40
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sits here thinking about all the fic ideas i have for my durge and isobel and punches a hole in the drywall because i have unmedicated Cant Focus Disorder
#dirge being the one who autopsied isobel and opened her tomb with gortash and kethetic.#dirge being forced to take a day off because of brain damage induced chronic migraines and staying at the elf song with isobel#while aylin and the gang keep on top of shit for the day. just quiet moments alone for them to talk to each other without the pressure#of being overheard#isobel talking to dirge about being a bhaalspawn. her experiences with an immortal god being#aylin being trapped and the unique vulnerabilities of being godspawn#isobel and dirge finding catharsis in their brutal resurrections into new life through each other. autopsy buddies.#isobel being Kind Of Weird and not entirely a saint because shes lost everything and everyone. and finally met a kindred soul who-#-understands what shes been through and she isnt willing to give that up even though hes a bhaalspawn murderer.#the willingness to be selfish because she cant stand to lose anything else when shes just starting to get it all back#isobel the light in the darkness. isobel the deathtouched maiden.#how loviatar says that the gods cant feel pain so she seeks it out through her worshippers so they can appreciate being alive#in spite of their mortality. a feeling a god can never have on their own#how isobel attracts the divine and unkillable and immortal#there is something so unabashedly human in how she lives and dies and lives again and how she suffers and lives and rejoices#and it draws them like moths to a light. she will never experience the bone deep satisfaction of doing what you were made for#because she wasnt MADE for ANYTHING she just LIVES. she just chooses.#aylin is always her mothers sword and dirge is always his fathers knifehand and isobel just is. invested with the soft light of the moon-#-because it radiates out from her anyways. gentle and without judgement it alights on them all#she just Is. human mortal kind gentle hypocritical and steadfast and they will never know what its like to be blessed without being claimed#like she never knows what its like to have such perfect divine purpose etched into your being and so they cant help but linger#god. fucking. isobel thorm#they watch trashy hallmark romcoms together btw. in my immaculate vision of bg3 which is totally accurate
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hm.. closing thoughts. bennie deserved better 😔
#this is what living with your evil parents through your 20s for the sake of your younger sibling does to a mfer#it's so sad too because he and gioia only had 3 years left before she was considered a mini-adult + could move out without it being a whole#hooha... but alas 😢😢#it's not enough to die in the field! you then have to come back weirdstyle and now your friends treat you different because they watched you#die. and now your superiors (including your evil parents) are all breathing down your neck and observing you like a goldfish. and also#you are like... godcharged now? supersoldier style? but when the vigor wears off holy SHIT does it ache + also you feel less and less like#yourself with each passing day. the desire to feast on human flesh and blood is newfound? not fun at all 😱#and THEN. to top it all off. your churchgeneral sends you on a suicide mission to go find an ancient demon because it's your last hope at#finding a cure to stop the Demon Within from eating your entire self. and you both know it probably won't happen but honestly#he just wants you off the island for when you Become Something Else (read: a PR disaster).#and if you do succeed well. hooray! win-win situation‚ right?? ignore how you were thrown to the dogs to figure it out yourself! 💖#so whatever. you go on your hopeless journey and you have some good times along the way w the mainlanders#then! finally! against all odds! you find the giant demon lair you were looking for all along 🍻 perfect timing too because the pain is#becoming unmanageable and the thought of eating people to appease it is very tempting! so into the tomblair you go ⛹🏻♀️ and to your great#luck the great demon you sought out welcomes you in (unnoticed red flag) and promises to cure you (🚩🚩🚩)#but who would have thought the Cure would be becoming his puppet forever!!! wtf!#at least the pain is gone 🤨 most of your consciousness is too but. hey 🤷🏻♀️#this song and dance goes on for 7 years until your baby sister who you unwillingly abandoned comes and kills you whilst trying to figure out#wtf happened to you. man!!!!!#he is the unluckiest man in the world#sriracha.txt#fortuna presequel
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🫀
#(this is just going to be a tag ramble; feel free to ignore)#don't mind me -- just having very loud (not necessarily coherent) thoughts about tiracchana today#both the canonical doppel and the more...vaguely human-shaped design i'm working on for it#'human-shaped' in the way that a bloodborne beast is human-shaped; do not misunderstand me#'anthro' is probably a closer description than 'human' but i digress#i really want to get around to properly drawing her and working out the kinks of the design#because i've got so many gruesome ideas and i'm excited. i *love* designing horrifying monsters#i will get there. i swear on my life that she will be drawn soon#it's wild to think that i used to not be the most fond of tiracchana; when now she's one of my favorite doppels in the entire game#easily top 5 if not top 3#i love how horrible she is. she's so viscerally *disgusting* and it's perfect. my raw beef baby...#i'd usually be too shy to post something like this but i have got to talk about tiracchana *somewhere* or else i'll explode#luckily i have a blog for doing just that#i'll end this post here to avoid going on forever about her (though it is my blog; so i'm subjecting you all to this much anyway)#but i'll leave you all with the fact that 'demon of hatred' from the sekiro ost is a great song that makes me think of#tiracchana/general monster!yuna
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