#from harry's pov

[ultravioletbrit]

“absent” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 268 words

Sirius loves Hogsmeade weekends when the whole group gets together for lunch at the Three Broomsticks. He’s looking around the table at the smiling faces of all his friends when he realizes two faces are notably absent.

“Hey Marls. James walked down with you guys, right?” Sirius asks.

“He said he needed to stay back and work on new strategies for us to practice this week to use in the match next weekend.” Marlene explains.

Sirius furrows his eyebrows, but it does make sense. James is obsessive about Quidditch, and next weekend’s match is a big one.

“Oi! Crouch!” Sirius calls to the other end of the table. “Where’s Reggie?”

“Revising. He says he likes the library on Hogsmeade weekends because there’s nobody else there. Swot.” Barty says with an eye roll which Sirius returns.

Regulus hates noise and crowds when he studies so it makes sense that he would want to go to the library today.

Sirius shrugs it off and goes back to his lunch.

———

Sirius is sitting across from James at dinner when he notices a trail of love bites running down his neck.

“Prongs, are those hickeys?” Sirius gasps but before James can answer–

“Oi Reg!! Are those hickeys?!” They hear Barty yelling from across the hall.

James’ eyes go wide with fear and Sirius’ eyes narrow to a murderous glare.

“I err… I have to…” James stutters as he slowly stands up.

Once he’s on his feet, James sprints from the Great Hall with Sirius close behind him.

Just before the doors close, Sirius thinks he hears Regulus yell, “Please don’t kill him.” Which only makes Sirius run faster.

[spindlewoed]

You have to understand. I don't "ship" Harry with the smoker on the balcony, I think whatever they have going on canonically is way funnier and touching than anything anyone could come up with.

There is so much within the dynamic itself. It’s a middle aged man and a younger man who are nothing alike and everything like each other. It’s the smoker being the person that kickstarts Harry’s sexuality journey anew, seeing Harry’s fascination with him and being amused by it because (aside from Harry being probably the first man in a while who’s managed to leave him dumbfounded in a positive way) the smoker *knows* what’s happening in Harry’s mind and as he puts it, it’s beautiful.

Don't get me wrong, the mutual attraction is there. The smoker flirts with Harry every other two lines (girl why the fuck are you flirting with a cop you're insane. I'm obsessed with you) yet makes fun of him in the same breath while Harry is absolutely clueless the whole time because he's too busy staring at his abs. Couldn't come up with anything funnier if I tried.

I love this high drama check, this is exaclty what it feels like to speak to clueless boomers who have no idea what they're talking about. Still, once Harry admits that he might be part of the "underground" as he puts it, the smoker is immediately excited and encourages him to think about it. It's very sweet.

(I know everyone has probably seen this dialogue 100 times by now but I love the phrasing here. literally twink_boutta_pounce.jpeg)

And as a side note I really like this emphaty check in response to Harry's little breakdown after the failed suggestion check the first time you meet him. The smoker like damn he just like me fr.

I don't think more smoker interactions were needed at all or that they would ever talk again post-game but it's interesting to think about what other converations they could have, even just so we could learn a bit more about him. They both have an interest in art. They're both stuck in a place they can't leave if they wanted to and yet find beauty in it, they both have regrets about past relationships. They both find talking with the other a charming experience in a way or another. If I want to be indulgent, they both could benefit from learning about what being gay means for a younger/older generation, especially since they both have such different life experiences with their identities.

It's all fanfic talk, and obviously no cops at pride and so on but their interactions did make me think about community and recognition through the other. A flirt for the sake of a flirt, a “maybe in another lifetime” but this lifetime is good too because they did meet and leave an impression on each other before parting ways. That's *beautiful* too.

[iamthedamndonutdrawcat]

dog & wolf - sirius & remus

[secret-writer-boy]

jegulus bad idea right au

exactly what it seems.

“Bloody hell,” says Barty, incredulous. “Did he really?” 

“Three hundred and sixty-five roses!” Regulus shouts. “For every day we’d been together! And they were all different colors!” he rubs his eyes and leans across the table to reach his cup of vodka. “Stupid arsehole-”

“Alright, Regulus, let’s not,” Dorcas moves the cup out of his range. “Don’t overdo it.”

Watching the cup, Regulus suddenly feels a stirring of irritation under his skin. “You’re not my keeper,” he says, rolling his eyes, a buzz of satisfaction suffusing him. He itches for a fight. “I can bloody moderate on my own without your mothering, Dorcas.”

“Well!” Dorcas rears back, clearly offended. “Someone’s got to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

“And that’s you, is it?” Regulus glares at her. “You aren’t good for much of anything, then,” he barbs.

“Alright, Regulus,” Dorcas snorts, mocking for a moment before her features shift back to rage.

“Dorcas,” Evan sighs.

“No!” Dorcas cuts him off. “Reg always gets like this, and it’s always the same. We go out, he gets too drunk because he doesn’t know when to stop, someone has to interfere, and he’s awful about it!”

“Fuck you, Dorcas,” Regulus hisses. His chair gives a metallic scrrrrreech! as he shoves it back and gets to his feet. “I’ve got to use the loo.” Stalking away, Regulus tries to ignore his friends’ murmuring behind him. 

He knows it’s not healthy to still obsess over a relationship that ended months ago, and meant nothing anyways, nothing at all—”Oh, yes, tell Sirius all about this! Tell him everything, anything you haven’t already, you fucking liar”—he should have seen the breakup coming, really. Nothing good could have come of—

Regulus pauses. His phone is buzzing. Unknown Number, it says. 

Cautiously, he picks up. “Hello?”

“Regulus,” a voice replies. 

Regulus freezes. Even distorted by static, there’s no mistaking that voice. His voice. Oh, Regulus knows this voice. He’s heard it delighted; he’s heard it overjoyed; he’s heard it screaming; he’s heard it in ecstasy; he’s heard it in rage. Oh yes, oh yes, he knows this voice.

“James?” Regulus can hardly believe it—no, he can’t believe it. “James?” his breathing becomes slow and shuddering. 

“Hi,” James says, voice low and husky, and Regulus just wants to savor it forever, and maybe rip out James’ throat while he’s at it. Pent-up rage from their break up comes back to him in waves, and he wants to throttle James, really. But he won’t; Regulus is going to hang up right now and block James’ number and tell him to shove whatever he has to say up his arseh—

“Check your texts,” James tells him. 

Between one heartbeat and the next, Regulus thumbs to his texts. It’s James. How can he not?

Unknown Number: [Image Attached]

He opens the image and forgets how to breathe.

It’s him. It looks like he’s in bed—his eyes, his eyes are soft and light and oh so pretty and they’re difficult to see behind his glasses but Regulus manages (he always has) and his face is perfectly sculpted and his hair is so dark and silky and it’s short now, shorter, and still fucking messy and oh Regulus just wants to run his hands through—

“You got a haircut,” he says numbly.

“I miss you, Regulus,” and Regulus remembers the way James used to say his name like a prayer. Regulus remembers how deep and smooth his voice is—why oh why does he still have to want him so desperately?

“I—you do?” he hates how desperate he sounds.

“With everything in me,” James promises. Regulus knows it meant nothing. It meant nothing to either of them. None of it. He recalls the fights, and the rage, and the anger, and what came after—James against the wall; his hands on Regulus’ waist—it all meant nothing. Except…James doesn’t sound like it meant nothing.

“I miss you too,” his voice is hoarse, words slurring, and all he can think about is how warm James’ skin used to feel against his, and how his gorgeous hazel eyes would darken at night, and how he thinks he might die to see them do that again.

Ping!

There’s another message.

“James,” he whispers, horrified, maybe awed. “Is this your address?”

“Maybe,” and there’s no mistaking his tone; that’s his—that’s his flirty tone, is he really— “Want to find out?”

And later, Regulus will swear up and down that he thought it through, really he did, and decided it was the best decision—

I should probably, probably not. I should probably, probably not. I should probably—

“I’ll be there in ten,” Regulus says, and hangs up the phone.

What the fuck did I just do?

He’s almost numb as he texts his friends. Leaving now. I need to get some sleep. He ignores the texts, the questions that follow. All he can think of is James. James, James, James, who makes him want to die and scream and also explode from sheer frustration. Oh, he hates James. Oh, he wants James so desperately he thinks he might die if he doesn’t have him immediately.

(Nothing good could have come from fucking his brother’s best friend behind his back. Especially when said best friend was everything to him. Especially when—)

Now he’s getting in the car, wrecking all his plans, and he knows he should stop (but he can’t). He’s speeding a bit, and it doesn’t take long before Regulus is there at James’ fancy apartment (just like his old one), taking the elevator to the second floor, and standing by—

It’s him. 

James is smiling his gorgeous smile, his blinding smile that stretches from one corner of his face to another. 

“Reg,” and Regulus is on him, pushing him through the doorway and attacking his lips with a fervency. James opens his mouth between kisses, seeming to want to say something, but Regulus stops him.

“No talk, Potter,” he whispers, something in him burning with an intensity. “Show me how good you are.” 

And James, falling apart, does just that.

---

part 2?

[thief-of-eggs]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed to have a favorite character out of a particular ship. You’re allowed to mostly focus on that character in any fics or art you create. You’re allowed to have a lesser understanding of their counterpart. You do not need to have every ounce of lore in order to ship them. Heck- you can even just like a ship for vibes.

Just because you love a ship doesn’t mean both characters are your absolute favorites. You’re allowed to relate more to one over the other. You’re allowed to make that other character your focus.

[iamnmbr3]

now i want to read a fanfic where Harry thinks it’s weird when he hears Dumbledore talking about Tom, and when other two also hear it from Harry, they also think it’s weird. And it leads them to be cautious of Dumbledore when he interacts with them.

Be the change you want to see!

Interestingly Harry might have thought this had it not been for the fact that by that point in the story he has very legitimate reasons to be biased against Tom. Voldemort murdered his parents and tried to kill him during his first year. And then he met diary!Tom...who also tried to kill him. Not to mention everything that went down in the graveyard in 4th year and Sirius's death at the Department of Mysteries. So Harry (and the readers) are primed to view the memories in a certain light and it's easy to ignore a lot of the larger context.

What might be really cool is if Harry had kept the diary longer and saw some of these memories from Tom's POV in the diary (and without the knowledge of who Tom actually was). Harry liked diary!Tom a lot - to the point that hilariously in the end of book 2 Tom keeps having to resort to increasingly pointed "ha ha I'm evil actually!" reveals until he finally gives up and just spells it out because Harry is so invested in the 'Tom and I are going to be best friends and save the day together' narrative that he refuses to notice any of Tom's subtler attempts at doing a dramatic reveal. Given that, if Harry had seen memories like Tom's first meeting with Dumbledore from Tom's POV he probably would've been pretty receptive to narratives suggesting that Dumbledore is not as trustworthy as he seems etc. That leads to an interesting question about how Harry would then react to discovering the truth (assuming he did and that the diary didn't possess him etc).

[artsyhamster]

Just two guys, sharing bathwater

[girllblogging777]

[remusawoooo]

one look under ronarry tag in tiktok and most comments are

"YES BEST FRIENDS"

"BROTHERS FOREVER"

"PLATONIC SOULMATES"

when the edit is clearly shipping them romantically

[maledictusfotum]

was just writing and I had to stop and think. so like, imagine Harry goes missing, only a few hours he's been gone and in the middle of searching Severus' mark burns and just imagine the devastation and resignation that comes over him because he just KNOWS that's where he is

[jaylienpotter]

Conceited

Jegulus one-shot

Warning: Lily Evans bashing (kinda)

"Why don't you give me a chance? Even to be friends?!"

Regulus turned around and walked towards the source of the noise. He knew that voice very well.

"I hate you, Potter!"

Seemed like Black's crush was getting rejected again. Part of him was sad for his brother's best friend, another, more selfish side of him, was relieved.

"Why?! What did I ever do to you? I know I was a prick to Snape sometimes-"

"You're a bully!"

"I'm not a bully! Snape isn't stupid, nor weak, nor innocent. He does the exact same thing we did to him! He's not a victim." He wasn't wrong, to be a bully meant it was one-sided. Snape and Potter were more like mortal enemies.

"Even then, you're still a rich, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish prat who doesn't shut up about himself! You're so bloody conceited!"

That hit. He could see the hurt in those dark brown eyes. People didn't know the effort the tanned skinned boy put into helping others, making sure everyone is happy, included, safe. He could have all eyes on him yet no one noticed. Except Reg. He noticed James.

"That's not true." The pair turned to him in surprise, pale hands becoming fidgety with the sudden notion of being watched. He kind of regretted speaking up.

"James doesn't talk about himself. Yes, he's sometimes a bit obnoxious and loud, and he does talk a lot but it's never centered around himself. You're getting confused with my brother, Evans."

"Oh, please. Those two are the same. You're not in Gryffindor, you don't hear them all the time." Right, but he did hear from the boy in private. In their late night talks that started after Sirius ran away. Because James didn't want Reg to feel alone. He noticed. He cared. He helped.

"What does he say then? About himself. Not about his friends. Or the stupid pranks they all pull." He dragged the word 'all', making it a point that it didn't count.

"Do you know his favourite colour? Favourite animal? Favourite classes and professors? His grades? How many people he's dated? Anything about his home life? His life goals and dreams?" It was too late to back out, the rant had begun, and you bet Blacks finish what they start.

"Because I don't think so. He might talk a shit lot, but it's about his group plans, his friends, making jokes, making others laugh when feeling like shit as so many do nowadays," himself included. "It takes a lot to get him to talk about himself as an individual, actually. You would know if you gave him a chance. But for someone so against judgemental people, you really do focus on his appearance." Green eyes wide, pink lips shut tight. Regulus contained his smirk.

"He's a good person. A great friend. Selfless and caring despite being from an old pureblood family. And he fights for what he thinks is right. He fights for others. With his big personality comes a big heart. So if you don't make space for the love he has to offer just because you think you don't believe he has it in him, he's not the conceited one." Red hair nearly flew with Lily's stormed exit. She hadn't liked their interaction in the slightest. It was better that way. She wasn't deserving.

Piercing dark eyes were burning a whole through black curls. Reg avoided James's gaze, afraid of what he'd say. He only faced him when he felt the boy closer, and he could swear Potter's eyes were sparkling.

"You meant that...?"

"Of course. You care so much about everyone else that you forget yourself. You couldn't tell me what you wanted to do in the future because it would depend on what your friends decided to do with their lives. You're the most selfless person I know, and if she thinks otherwise, she doesn't deserve your love or friendship."

Silence. He really wanted the older boy to say something, but he just stared, lips slightly parted. Icy blue eyes looked away, shoulders tensing from the attention.

Warm strong arms surrounded his small figure, nearly making him halt. But Potter's sweet, intoxicating smell had him relax and melt in his arms, wrapping his much slimmer ones around his tanned waist.

"Thanks, Reggie." His heart skipped a beat at the nickname and he hoped James didn't feel it against his own chest. He was also thankful to have his face covered, absolutely certain that his white cheeks had turned fully pink.

[marriso1]

Part one:

Severus Snape wasn’t the gift giving type, even in his youth the amounts of time he’d spend shopping for such had been very little, dwindling down to searching for only one for the majority of his school years. Thus, Severus was greatly befuddled when beginning to christmas shop for Harry. The child had been taken in by him at the young age of ten, after the discovery of how horribly his relatives had treated him. He hadn’t personally shopped for really anyone in awhile, let alone a child.

The malfoys had revoked his gift giving rights to Draco the moment he’d been born, claiming that he wouldn’t be able to match a gift to their standards. This didn’t bother Severus as they were most definitely right and thus didn’t mind once they forged his name down on a present they picked themselves.

So, there stood Severus in the middle of Hogsmeade without the slightest idea of what to do. Severus needed to make sure the gift he got for Harry made up for the many years he went without. He refused to return home without securing the best for him. Severus decided to think about the things Harry had taken an interest in, DADA, magical history, art, and unfortunately quidditch. He had gotten some books pertaining to the first two. Two focused on the research to be studied surrounding the subjects while another set he had bought were more childlike flip books, including nicely drawn illustrations and glittery pages. Severus decided on buying Harry a sketchbook with graphite and watercolor supplies. He ended up buying several different sketchbooks as they came in different sizes and had particular uses. The art supplies were the best he could find, nothing professional as Harry was very much a child, but nice nonetheless. Severus decided on getting Harry a broom, nothing too complicated, but with add ons to provide Harry with more safety. Harry was ten after all. Severus mainly just hated seeing him in any kind of pain, so he was naturally nervous about him being so infatuated with quidditch.

Severus had felt quite satisfied with what he had gotten Harry, and yet he hadn’t felt as if his duty was complete. He felt as there was something else he needed to get for him. Something that surpassed the gifts according to his likes, he needed to buy something of greater sentimental value. Severus was more practical, relying on ethics and such rather than emotion, especially in his later adult years. Yet, he knew exactly what he should get for Harry.

Severus found himself wandering down a toy isle, and there lie the perfect option. A stuffed bat that smelt of rosemary, by the looks of the stuffed animal it had been handmade, it was beautifully crafted. As the two had grown closer, Harry had begun to tease Severus, remarking that he was like a giant bat. He found himself fondly thinking of Harry’s progress so far. When he had first been introduced, he had been quite quiet, flinching at every raised hand, tiptoeing through the house. Harry had worn a solemn expression. An expression that had quickly faded as he got used to Severus. He had become quite loud, which Severus hadn’t minded and would only not mind if it was Harry. You could hear his footsteps from a mile away. He’d practically climb on Severus now, as Harry saw him as his outlet for comfort. Again, Severus didn’t mind that Harry’s main love language seemed to be physical touch, nor that it had been him to receive it. Of course, it would only be Harry who would be allowed to hug him, or lie next to him as a storm raged on outside. He thought of the bat as the perfect present, as it was symbolic of how far he had come and how much he’s grown into his own person, not the shell he was molded into. He had also taken into an account that Harry was quite clingy, so the stuffed animal also serving as a reminder of Severus would serve as extra comfort. Although Harry had become comfortable with Severus, he had still ways to go with others, particularly adults. Most kids had tormented or avoided him, seeing him as what the adults would whisper about him. Adults however, were far more harmful. It took a lot of self control not to deal with Harry’s relatives himself.

Suddenly, on top of all his previous gifts, Severus had found himself shoveling a treacle tart, a fine selection of winter sweaters and jackets, a variety of wizarding toys, and a gingerbread house kit into his inventory, along with several types of wrapping paper. He found that he wasn’t frustrated with the hole the venture had left in his wallet.

He was however, appalled with himself, especially the night he set the gifts out. He had gone into the trip with getting a singular gift in mind. The christmas tree which he and Harry had picked and decorated had what looked like a mountain of gifts piled under it. He wasn’t regretful of the gift amount of course, as he couldn’t see Harry’s first real christmas going any other way. Or any future ones for that matter. The warm feeling brought upon him couldn’t smother the desolate feeling when thinking about Harry’s past christmas experiences. He had been forced to watch his relatives open their luxurious gifts while he’d been gifted the likes of tissues. No matter what it took, Severus would make sure to always have gifts prepared for Harry. It hurt him to know that Harry would never enjoy the belief of Santa claus. Petunia had him wrap his cousins presents since his was quite young.

It was early christmas morning and Severus heard Harry’s footsteps come downstairs and freeze as he made it to the living room. He turned to see the child’s mouth wide open, his face portraying a state of shock. Severus had waited until the night before christmas to put the gifts under the tree.

“What’s all of this doing here?” Harry questioned.

“It’s for you, Harry. You didn’t think you’d go without some gifts today could you?” Severus answered.

If it was humanly possible, Harry’s jaw dropped even lower. He walked over and stood in front of the tree, taking in the sight before him.

“Some?” Harry teased.

“All of this. All of this is for me?”

“Yes, every single last one.”

He watched fondly as Harry opened every single gift, gasping at the unveil of each present. Severus watched his smile grow even bigger once he mentioned the treacle tart in the kitchen. You couldn’t imagine his surprise when Harry had went upstairs to return with exactly eight different christmas cards. Each with their own unique designs and individual passages of writing. He was wished about several Merry Christmases. Harry explained that he couldn’t choose just one. Severus had his favorite of the cards, of course. It had been the one featuring himself and Harry. It had detailed how much Harry’s life had changed since moving in with Severus, and how happy he was to have him. It remarked adventures the two had gone on, and some of their favorite memories made together. He could feel his expression soften once more, a smile forming on his lips. He gently thanked Harry and went to grab a purposely hidden present under the tree.

Severus watched as Harry had unwrapped it. There was no reason to explain the gift as the moment Harry had seen the stuffed bat it was as if he understood immediately. He watched a little notice escape from Harry’s mouth before his eyes began to fill with tears. Severus reached for Harry, who had welcomed the embrace immediately. Severus tightly held Harry, knowing that if he’s done anything right, it would’ve been this. He had realized nothing had made him Happier than seeing his boys face light up the way it did today. It was as if the sun itself been in the same room as him.

As they both grew older, Severus found the people he needed to christmas shop for increase. He’d been granted gift giving rights by the Malfoy’s again. He’d couldn’t also help getting trinkets for each of Harry’s friends besides Draco. Books for Hermione, chess sets and candies for Ron, trinkets for Luna, herbology equipment for Neville, wizarding robes for both Draco and Blaise. Being a parent sure had made severus soft. No matter whose presents had entered the area under his tree, the majority would always contain things for his son.

[atlasdoe]

waiting for the marauders fandom to realise that Remus isn't the main character in the prank story, Severus is.

[frmulcahy]

Finished listening to the audiobook of Conclave.

No fucking turtles 😡

[wolvesandshine]

They had a plan. A bloody good one too.

Maybe it was presumptuous of Regulus to assume they were sticking it, some people might even say he was being naive, but it was the only thing that kept him carrying on despite the state of current affairs.

Until Sirius shattered all hopes of that coming to fruition and ran away in the middle of the night.

There was no note. No warning. Sirius hadn’t even had the decency to ask him. Sirius knew - of course he knew - he had to have known what would happen to Regulus if he left but he hadn’t cared.

The plan, the one made under the dark by two boys so so long ago - all up in smoke.

Because of fucking James Potter.

Regulus knows it’s irrational to hate Potter. Logically, he knows. But if he couldn’t hold onto the rage all he would have left is sadness -

That his brother and him became so estranged that Sirius couldn’t look beyond the mask he helped him create for survival. That his brother thought he was like them. That his brother thought he didn’t want to leave - or maybe he just didn’t care enough.

And that - that would break Regulus. It wasn’t as thought he was the epitome of stability but that would definitely be the tipping point into the well known Black madness.

So Regulus held onto the rage. Anger at his brother for leaving.Anger at Potter for taking him away. Anger at his parents for putting him in this situation. And most importantly - he was angry with himself for being a fucking coward.

They were supposed to leave together when Regulus turned of age - instead all Regulus got when he was 17 was a dark mark he never wanted and no one to share his thoughts with.

[lieutenantism]

i'm currently thinking about how jean loses himself completely to harry. just dissolves entirely. very little sense of identity left outside his partnership with him, which i find so intriguing. i mean, it's the definition of codependency, but that doesn't make it any less interesting (long post, again).

"i won't let my life unravel because of this." is just so insane and melodramatic to me because WHO is that man to you, jean? and why is his alcoholism the reason for your life unraveling? jean takes on harry's drinking problem as a problem of his own, a threat to his life before harry's, even though the drinking doesn't affect harry's ability to do his job, and jean acknowledges that as well as everyone else in the major crimes unit.

but why does he have such a big problem with harry's alcoholism? why's he the only one out of the task force who seems to care obsessively? because the one before him failed to save him, and he feels as though it's his responsibility now. to jean, harry's life is divided to three parts; before him, during him, and tragically, after him.

the fact jean puts himself in the same position as dora, harry's ex, tells you enough. almost as if he considers them to be the same, in terms of responsibility for harry's wellbeing. he's cleaning up her mess, he seems to think. she was way before my time, as though they hold the same significance to harry. of course, this isn't entirely jean's fault. both him and harry share the guilt of their twisted relationship; harry's guilty of getting too personal with anybody within arm's reach.

and jean's guilty for wanting to clean up a mess that he didn't make, and losing sight of himself and his true professional duties in the process. so it goes like this; they partner up, harry's bad at drawing the line between personal and professional relationships and jean's even worse, harry goes on benders every week and jean witnesses them and tries to pull him out of them relentlessly, which then leads to whatever fucked up partnership they had, right before martinaise. the question is why did jean feel the need to save him? because he projected onto him severely.

they're both broken men; mirrors of each other, though jean will never say it out loud. he sees himself in harry, and since he can't save himself and everyone's given up on him, even the professionals, he decides not to give up on harry. in a way, jean's trying to prove to himself that he's not a lost cause through sticking by harry's side through it all, because if even the most lost of causes manages to have at least one person who's there for them at all times, who says he can't have one too? why must he be labelled as the anomaly? if harry du bois could be saved, so can he. he maintains this "i have my shit together, i'm better than you." persona during the entire confrontation, when he isn't. like i said, harry is everything jean works hard in order not to become, yet he still manages to lose his sense of identity while "saving" him and only becomes "harry's partner". that's all he is. nothing but a safety net, there to catch him at all times.

that's why he becomes extremely defensive when you choose the "kim's cooler than you." option, because you're practically robbing him of his identity. throughout the entirety of the game, he keeps repeating: "i'm your partner", to reassure himself more so than anything else, and what the game does here is very clever. you first hear him say that on a call, so distant and away from you; he cannot convince you that he's your partner even if he tried. then, he says it when he's in an idiotic disguise that you didn't recognize, and quite frankly it's making you uncomfortable, it's hard to take him seriously when he looks so stupid so you don't believe him, again. then at last, when he confronts you, and he's himself. then you think it sticks.

but it doesn't, and you dismiss him again to ask about the others. i've always found it perplexing how there's no "how can you be my partner?" option during the confrontation. you can ask about mikael heidelstam for fuck's sake, but not your partner. simply because you don't believe he is, at least not anymore. he's just a very angry man who was in a stupid disguise, and that's all you can ask him about. isn't that so insanely tragic? when you think about how dismissive the "confrontation" is? and jean's lashing out that way because his whole identity is hanging in the balance? no matter what jean tells harry, there's no click, no lightbulb flickering moment, nothing. jean tries everything, it's painful to see, really. the "i didn't lie to you. no one lies to you." and his lines to judit and trant where he's like "i told you, it's typical harry behavior. it's our shitkid." and so on are all attempts to prove that he, jean, knows him, harry, better than anyone else, even himself. he KNOWS him, which is why harry has to need him. he has to keep him. as his partner or whatever the hell it was, because nobody else knows him or will ever get to know him that way.

jean's response to harry telling them "i don't wanna be in your unit." only further proves it. "i'm your partner, i answer for you when you're not there." considering the fact harry and jean had begun to blur ever since their partnership came into being makes the line funnier lol. jean had locked himself up in a prison of his own making, of course with harry giving him all the means necessary to build his own cage beforehand. it was a matter of time and conditioning, and severe loneliness. every crime of harry's feels like one jean is guilty of.