#from from the new barbie movie i am SO hyped for it

[beeejayy]

This would've worked better with Basil but who cares this was fun

[muffinghostie]

Y’all when the Barbie movie comes out I will enter my most powerful form and nobody can stop me.

[panda-noosh]

the barbie movie made me want to hug my grandmother

i went to see the new Barbie movie yesterday.

honestly, despite the hype of this film, i wasn’t all that interested in seeing it. barbies were never something i played with, and i’d never seen any of the other barbie films, and i had no idea how much of a message this movie would hold - so i just kind of. . . skimmed past it anytime it showed up on my feed.

but my two best friends were ecstatic, and because i love just being in the presence of people i love and appreciate, i decided to come along too. so i bought a ticket, got my popcorn - i even wore pink! we got our seats, and the movie began.

and right from the get-go, i knew this wasn’t a film to be messed with.

it sounds so dramatic, but it was just so good. i usually hate the cinema (autism, don’t ask...), but i sat through this film like a rock, honest to god. not once did i check the time to see when i could get up and leave. not once did i think it was dragging. i was genuinely so involved with this film as i was watching it, that it was a surprise when the end credits started rolling. i wanted more. i could have sat there, living in barbieland, forever. 

it’s a very feminist film, as i’m sure everybody knows by now. the way it was done was also perfect; i’m kind of getting sick of these ‘feminist films’ where the message is so. . . subtle. it’s one scene of a woman becoming CEO in a big name company, or a Mum finally getting the chance to live her life! don’t get me wrong, that’s always so lovely to see, but Barbie wasn’t subtle about the feminism in the slightest. our greta was not afraid to show the ugly truth of a woman’s world. she wasn’t afraid to hurt the feelings of men. she wasn’t being careful. in a fun and respectful way, she was able to illuminate the daily struggles of women all over the world, how desensitised we have come to the horrendous ways we have been treated over the years, the expectations set upon us that we don’t even question anymore. it showed women appreciating women, women being successful, women living for themselves. it was just fantastic, and it didn’t take itself too seriously, and it was beautiful.

i knew it was a good feminist film when my best friend reached over and held my hand for the last half of it. for no reason that i could pinpoint, she just reached over our drinks and took my hand in hers, just two women living in solidarity, struggling through the same patriarchal world. it was the type of film that made me want to go hug my grandmother. it made me want to compliment every single woman i encountered on the way back to my car. it reminded me that i am indeed a woman, and i am indeed living under the thumb of men in more ways than i was ever able to recognise, because it was just so normal. i’m so guilty of lowering my standards for men sometimes. i’m so guilty so letting them get away with things, because they’re men! they don’t know any better! i’m so guilty of giving into the patriarchal system, half my head on my own goals whilst the other half stays dead set on keeping everyone else happy. this movie reminded me that i - and everyone else - needs to find who they are without the influence of anyone else’s opinion or presence. 

so, overall, this movie was ten out of ten. one of the only ten out of ten films i’ve seen this year. i was in absolute awe of how a piece of media could be so funny yet so enlightening at the same time. 

thank you, greta gerwig. you created yet another masterpiece. 

[findteenpenpals]

Hey my luvs X3

Your 08s ARIES BABY signing in! So hyped to meet u all! My friends have this FUN_TRADITION of giving me never-ending nicknames, so feel free to join in! But hey, Hannah works just fine too 😉

I'm 16 and wanting a rocking 11 th grade. How cool is it to meet penpals ? It is great connecting with new people. Whether  through snail mail, social media, or email, down for anything that makes you comfy! Let's create some meaningful bonds!

Communication? No problem here—I'm fluent in CZECH,GERMANand English. FRENCH though? We’ll,letś just say it’s work in progress :) About me:

Meet ur new fella ,the optimistic fruity ENFP who lives for all things aesthetic (think coquette vibes)! Astrologically, I’m an Aries sun, Libra moon, and Cancer rising.The world is a play ground ;we’re here to explore every single corner of it. I ADORE theme parks, parties (esp. silent discos, costume parties, and girls' nights), and deep convos. DANCING keeps my soul alive.

I'm a TOTAL ARTSY soul with a passion for FASHION ?U 2? From scrapbooking to embroidery, if it's CREATIVE, I’m in. I've been taking ACTING classes for three years now. But my ultimtes loves? FILMMAKING and blogging. I BLOG about anything and everything.I love to EXCHANGE and dive into people's passions.Blog is my go-to for chillin out. My fav movies n series? Tough call, but I’d say "10 Things I Hate About You," ,Deat Poet society,Barbie,"007 and old Hollywood classics.

All in all  a SUNNY  active PASSIONATE person who loves being outside  I’m an astrophile, into politics and history, and music is my lifeline. In ten years, I hope to have ticked off my bucket list (a meet-and-greet with Angela Merkel).Aspiring to be a diplomat, you know?  My playlist is DIVERSE :Billie Eilish to Marina, Lana Del Rey and Olivia Rodrigo. My ultimate jam? Katy Perrys"Last Friday Night."

This was Hannah explained in a nutshell.And I am enchanted to meet you 

xoxo,

Hannah 

P.S : email: weigandheule@icloud.com snap:hannahwxd  

[nessa007]

ppl who said Ryan was "too old" are about to be proved wrong by that box office $$$$$ he's about to rake in. he's hilarious and perfect for this role. and also gorgeous??? A TRUE BEAUTY KEN. "I saw a ken face down in the mud and texted Greta a pic with I must tell this man's tale" xD also there's never a person (until RECENTLY) saying the female actors aren't cast old enough (I'm not taking about Margo). The viral moment a little while ago was when Emmy Rossum was cast as Tom Holland's mom (and it's only because it's Tom hype it was noticed, I love him but still this has been happening since cinema has existed) she's only ten years older than him. That just happened in a Jessica Chastain movie like two years ago and no one said anything. My neices were watching a utube soap and I kid you not the "mom" was the SAME AGE. It's every movie; every show. I'm so happy Halle was cast as Ariel - appropriate age!!! I understand productions cast older teens/young adults rather than kids because then they can cut corners with union rights/demands like kids needing more breaks and parents on sets and like... basic human decency. also shows like R!verdale have teens sleeping together every weeek and sexy shots yada yada that actual teens WOULD NOT be permitted to do in filming (thank god they have intimacy coordinators now FINALLY). I forget who pointed it out, but you never see a news woman with grey hair. On a man it's distinguished on a woman it's ugly or she's a crone. I'll watch movies where they cast a 30 something woman and make her 50 by graying her hair. Like wtf? Anytime I'm watching a high school scene with a friend I say "none of those people are high schoolers". I'm an actor who's repeatedly told I AM LUCKY MY FACE LOOKS YOUNGER THAN I AM. This is going to last me about what 3 years? 2? I was just basically let go from a gig because FB feedback on photos were I looked "too old" for a character and it was because our boss was casting TEENAGERS illegally so yeah, of course I'm going to look about 80 years old (at 31) next to a 13 year old. She said "we're going to cast you as older roles" yeah we NEVER get requests for those. I wonder why. Okay, sorry for the rant... These reasons are why I'm so happy for Ryan. Prove the haters wrong and hopefully more light is shed on this too old/too young/ageism issue as a whole. Perfect moments and the movie hasn't even come out: THE JUST KEN SONG I DIDN'T KNOW WOULD HAPPEN JUST DROPPED?!

He thought of the KEN underwear!!

he's not afraid to poke fun at himself, wear pink a whole movie and funny outfits and dye his hair - so many "action movie" macho men actors would NEVER. this is the same guy from Blade Runner, Drive, The Gray Man (lol for their shoutout to his Ken)

the tassel shaking, "I'll need clicky pen", the changing scenery and outfits montage, rock paper scissors, crossing his fingers when he asks barbie if he can come over xD EVERY MOMENT IS PERFECT.

yeah, sadly ageism is always gonna be a thing with hollywood and especially for women.

i don’t care how old ryan is, he is PERFECT in this role and that’s just judging from the few clips and trailers released. i love seeing all the early reviews saying this will be the role he is remembered for and he steals every scene he’s in 👏👏👏 i’m so excited to see the movie, especially for ryan !!!

[solar-tl-27]

You said you have a collection of old electronics, can you show some?

I can! It’s very small and not that impressive but i’m a bit of a nerd. (It’s…. It’s all Nintendo lol and not old old)

FIRST OFF MY CONSOLES

I personally own

An original gameboy i recently got from a family member because they were clearing out stuff and knew i liked old stuff. It’s coroded and needs a good clean for it to properly work again but I honestly just want it for show because i own the gba sp which hurts my eyes less.

My gameboy advance sp i have owned since i was little this thing is a champ! It doesn’t power on normally and i have to do a whole start up ritual but she’s strong!

Then we have my ds lite. Iiii used to own like 3 of these but my last remaining one recently decided it had seen enough and …. Snapped in two. It survived a very rough life for a while i was an extremely clumsy kid and that thing got dropped… so often. I actually managed to score this new one for like 25 euro’s at a con. Cuz it didn’t come with a charger or stylus, but thankfully i own plenty of stylus’s. And another fender SOLD THE CHARGERS FOR CHEAP! I also got 2 games and ended up with a whole new ds lite for like 50 euro’s!

And finally my baby my problem child… my new 3ds xl. I was originally gonna get a 3ds for my birthday but when at the store the guy told us that if we waited just a little the new 3ds would actually come out so waiting for that would probably be better (and more expensive) so we did! This bad boi has survived sooo long. The paint on the back started to chip so I actually got an accessory that works as a stand and a hand grip so your hands don’t cramp up. and it has had a screen replacement and a joystick replacement. But he’s still going strong!

I also own a switch but it’s not really old and didn’t have it on hand.

Next up the games

I got these with the og game boy i got from family so tbh they aren’t my choices tbf

Out of all of these I’m probably the most interested in kirby. So these are also more to look at in comparison to my other games.

Then we have my gba games! And Pokémon silver but I couldn’t find it.

First up my copy of Pokémon fire red! I got it for cheap plated it a bit then restarted and for a second I thought my screen had finally quit life because i was face to face with a yellow ratata THANKFULLY I actually like ratata and raticate on my team so i threw a ball at it… only to be transported to the pokedex menu and go…. Wait a minute…OH MY GOD! So I accidentally caught a shiny 😅 i named her Shimmer and haven’t touched that save file since.

Then we have 2 games I bought PURELY for nostalgia

A barbie game to get hyped for the barbie movie

And disney princess royal adventure I LOVE THAT GAME honestly if anyone wants to just play a feel good cozy walking game with little minigames this is such a nice game the graphics are fantastic and it’s just soooooo cozy (it is a glorified walking sim though…. It’s mostly walking walking and more walking)

A true delight tho!

Next up

DS GAMES here my true personality shows!

Pony friend and professor layton I owned since i was little and I finally completed professor Laytona few years ago! I’m not a puzzle person but godddd i love prof layton games!

Furthermore lps beach friends, lps garden and style boutique are recent purchases!

I got back into lps a while ago and am very excited for the new 2024 peta but they made me soooo nostalgic for the games so at a local con I basically ordered my friends to help me look for the games! I ended up finding lps beach friends together with style boutique another franchise i adore and later purchased lps garden online! The games are great! You also may have burned down a bakery in the friend’s series BUTTT THATS NOT IMPORTANT lol

Style boutique I purchased because i am on a quest i’m on the hunt TO OWN EVERY VERSION i own 1 and 3(technically 4) so i just need NEW style boutique and new style boutique 2!

And finally

The 3ds games (i also used to own Skylanders trap team 3ds but I LOST THE GAME)

Not including tomodatchi life and new style boutique 3

I was a Pokémon guy i loved it a lot

Pokemon x y is definitely my favorite from the 3ds era… not cuz it’s good…. But because lysandre and sycamore are just the best characters pokemon has eve made lol and i can see the potential in it (also furfrou my favorite Pokémon)

Oras is definitely the game i replay the most because it is a really good game

I love moon and ultra moon a lot aswell!

Zelda actually funny enough i … ended up bugging the game so hard in the first 30 minutes of playing…. I hard locked the game and I couldn’t progress 😅 that’s ehen I knew I wasn’t a zelda guy

And monster hunter story OMG ITS SO GOOD the anime was better at the execution of the story BUT THE GAMEE OOOOOOOOOO i wanna replay it so bad BUT I’M SO ATTACHED TO MY CHARACTER I JUST CANT RESET he’s my boi! MY SON!! I love the game and I’m playing 2…. But i never finished it due to reasons but from what i did play ITS GOOD but it destroyed the ending of the first anddd i dont like that.

Also i’m so excited for fashion dreamer to come out and i will get it(probably for Christmas as a little treat) and i will be super inspired and use it as outfit inspiration forrr my winx stuff! So that’s exciting!

I would own a lot more old old stuff if it wasn’t for the fact that static hurts my ears and my eyeballs also don’t like old screens SO MOSTLY JUST MY NINTENDO STUFF cuz i was the Nintendo kid from my town. My brother had a playstation my neighbors a pc and a close friend and xbox the great divide!

My favorite playstation game was tony hawk pro skater 2 lol

BUT THATS ALL FOR NOW THIS WAS SUPER LONG OKI BYE!

[chargetheintruder]

Humans, am I right? :) No really. This is the same kind of hype and nonsense that a Typical MCU Film (tm) gets from people who have actually read Marvel Comics . . . only it's on a larger scale and more unhinged. Human beings do this. People do this. We suck that way--we rage against what we don't understand (on good days) and against what doesn't pander to us (on our bad days). And yet people still see the movie. Worldwide. Margot Robbie was right on this one: "Barbie" is well on its way to being a Billion Dollar Movie, and one of the first ones directed by a woman. So to some extent this is a lot of hooey? It kinda is. =))) *lol* People talk trash and then spend money to hate-watch the film. Or maybe they just sit down quietly because they're freaked out by all of the pink and cheer around them and they watch the movie and if they can sit through it, maybe a new thought or two enters their heads, fair and square?

Nah. :) That doesn't happen. Because humans, am I right?

i’m just incredibly over how whenever a woman makes a movie about women it gets picked over to hell and back and men hate it because they hate women and women hate it because it didn’t Do Feminism Perfectly Right and queer people on tumblr hate it because it’s about a straight woman and republicans hate it because it’s furthering the woke agenda and everybody and their fucking father has to write a goddamn think piece about it. and then a man makes a movie about a man and it’s just a movie. it’s just another movie that came out on a friday during some month of the year. and usually the man’s movie is a little misogynistic but no one really criticizes that because well he’s a man we can’t expect better from him haha isn’t it so silly when those male directors hate women!! but then the female director literally gets her every decision analyzed by everyone for the next month not even counting all the criticism and analyzing that was done during the lead up to her movie. and then we all have to pretend like it’s not horrifically misogynistic to level all that extra criticism onto women who make movies and then just let the men go do whatever. like i’m sooo sick of it i’m so sick of it! and god forbid someone like me log on to whatever social media platform and say hey don’t you guys think you’re being too critical? because then WE’RE the bad guy for hating perfect intersectional feminism i guess. like i’m so deeply deeply sick of this are you all not sick of this.

[gchoate17]

I watched 25 movies in 2023 – down from 30 last year. Here they are, ranked in order. 

Cherry

Fantastic story, well told. It covered a lot of ground in a short time and made me believe everything. Despite the bad decision, I never stopped pulling for him. Tom Holland crushed it.

2. Tetris

I love these stories that pull the curtain back on pop culture phenomena. An enthralling sprint from start to finish.

3. I, Tonya

Nice job of showing the other side of the story. I felt some empathy for “the monster.” Also, I wasn’t expecting to laugh, but I laughed multiple times.

4. Dune (2021)

It’s always impressive when someone creates a new world that seems to add up. The story is set, now show me the sequel.

5. White Noise

Intellectual and quirky, but ridiculous, in a good way. But it also feels a little too unhinged. Adam Driver crushes it.

6. The Beanie Bubble

Zach Galifinakis’s best performance? Enough of a true story to give me the satisfaction of learning something while also pointing to the ridiculous nature of American capitalism in the 1990s.

7. On the Rocks

Bill Murray and his character carry it.

8. Barbie

Stylistically, really fun. Concept, fantastic. Kate McKinnon and Michael Cera’s characters are the best part of the movie. It was also nice to see so many actors from Sex Education. Of course, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling were fantastic as well. Overall, the was good, but it certainly didn’t measure up to the hype (and how could it). My only real complaint comes with when they have all been enlightened and they name all of the problems with society, which is a little too on the nose for me. We got it without being told.

9. Narvik

I’ve been into Dutch things lately, and I always like a new perspective on World War II, but I wouldn’t say this one is a can’t-miss.

10. Seven Kings Must Die

SPOILER ALERT: I feel like I couldn't get into the movie because legitimately the only person I was pulling for at the end was Uhtred. King Athelstan was a dumbass who deserved to die. All the kings who got duped into allying with the evil Dane guy made the move I would have made. Moral of the story: War is terrible. But that final shot of the Great Hall was awesome.

11. Parasite

Kind of funny. A little too far-fetched.

12. This is Where I Leave You

Weak story, great actors.

13. Air

I know why they did it, but it was a mistake to make a movie about Air Jordans without Michael Jordan.

14. Blood & Gold

I couldn’t buy that what happened in that small town didn’t alert larger authorities. In that way, it was a lot like Three Kings, but less humorous.

15. Those People

I am writing this review months after I watched the movie and even after watching the trailer, I have no recollection of ever seeing this movie, but in my notes I gave it three stars, so I’m putting it at the end of my three-star movies for the year.

16. Everything Everywhere All at Once

Loved the first half-ish, and the acting was great, but – as is with most action mind-benders – when anything can happen because the filmmakers aren’t bound by the rules of reality, it felt completely out of control by the end.

17. The Covenant

Movies that pretend like you can move about freely in war are out of touch with reality. But I do love a battle-buddy flick.

18. Raymond & Ray

A little absurd, but Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor are always likable.

19. To Leslie

Predictable addiction story. Bad Southern accents.

20. Midsommar

A horror film, but replace the dark aesthetic with light. Immature characters who ignore all the red flags.

21. The Wonder

SPOILER ALERT: Eerie and intriguing, but my investment diminished once the jig was up. I don’t buy that a devout little girl like that would just walk away.

22. Greyhound

SPOILER ALERT: Decent action sequences at sea, but not enough background for any of it to really mean anything. Elizabeth Shue needed to come back, for sure. Otherwise, why have her play the role?

23. Dead for a Dollar

I’m a Christoph Waltz fan, but this one was full of melodrama.

24. The Incident (1967)

None of the characters do what they should and there was no payoff. I did enjoy seeing those actors in the early stages of their career, though.

25. The Menu

I want to know how Ralph Fiennes, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicholas Hoult, and John Leguizamo got trapped in this stupid-ass movie.

See previous years’ lists here: 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017.

[moondrama]

Don't feel like making a long post about the things I've watched recently so I'll summarise everything in one post just to document.

I've watched the first Transformers movie from 2007, continued House of Cards S3, and almost about to finish King The Land over the past few weeks.

I have not watched Barbie, nor do I plan to as I've heard from others the kind of theme it has (I find such themes and writing exhausting and cringy, sorry). I was excited about Oppenheimer before it came out, but now I'll just wait for it to come on TV.

I am about to finish my rewatching of Friends too but I might skip the last couple of episodes as I find them sad. I'll restart it again after I finish. For me, it's the best show to relax to.

Also, last year, people used Taylor Swift's august in their reels on Instagram a lot when August started and I really liked it on top of all the pre-autumn hype everyone was doing with their houses and interiors and outfits and books/movies/shows. The song is back now again, and while I like the autumn anticipation, it just made me realize that a whole year has passed very very quickly. This song feels newer than one year (I've never listened to it in its entirety. I only heard it on reels lol but I liked it. It was a significant part of Autumn 2022 for me as I consumed a lotttt of interior/house designs/domestic vibes kinda videos).

I want to watch a couple of new kdramas. I like how recent dramas have old tropes and themes, and none of the netflix-style forced wokeness. Also want to watch season 2 of Terzi, and the rest of the Transformers movies.

Then around September, I wanna get back into Harry Potter, Jane Eyre and other cosy books and movies.

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

I'm not sure if I'll actually see the new Barbie movie. I grew up on the animated movies and declared that anything after 2008 sucks a long time ago

My thoughts 💬💭

The first time I saw the Trailer I thought - cringe 😬

I hoped it would be a Psycho Thriller - that would have been cool

The Hype for it is amazing - my Sisters convinced me to watch it with them - I hope one of these Days we will all have time for it - I even bought a few Pink Dresses for it

Honestly i am excited for it - from all the Spoilers I heard I will like it - Men don't like it so it will be good for sure 😅 because it's everytime like that - everytime we Women have something to watch just for us - Men will Hate it and I will love it 😁

But I am not usually a Fan of Live Action Remakes - most of them are just Terrible

I rather watch the Original - Animated Versions

[reasoncourt]

Oh yeah like. Barbiecore is absolutely about to be a thing, by design. There’s a reason that they’re allowing set and costume pictures from the new movie to be released at a rate almost never before seen from any other film set, and that pink is popping up in new designer collections and fast fashion releases. It’s all so on purpose and you’re gonna see it everywhere around the time the movie comes out. And it’s sort of (evil)genius that they’re doing it this way instead of hoping people will naturally want more pink after seeing the movie because this way, if it flops everyone will still already have redone their houses and wardrobes to be Barbiecore. It’s sort of incredible from a marketing standpoint but also yeah. So horribly grim.

AAAAHHHHHHHHH this causes me pain but thank you for dropping your thoughts in my inbox bc i do find it legitimately interesting. i am feeling like the hype around barbie is really contrived. i like margot robbie as much as the next person (the only time i ever watched neighbours was when i was in middle school and she was donna dkjsndkjsnd) but i just don't care about this movie at all yet? and i am seeing so many pictures and articles pop up ab it and that has felt really odd to me ngl. it's like when those marketing companies try and make a song become viral on tik tok. nothing feels real. everything feels like an ad. which i guess also goes to my growing resentment of things like 'xyz-core' and the 'that girl' trend. everyone is being encouraged to create a brand/persona and marketing companies are leaning into that. and you're right, it's grim.

off topic but this also reminds me of when i watched the all too well short film and first saw the scarf and book and i immediately was like ‘what is the bet that this is the new merch?’ and i thought i was being cynical. but i went to the website and BAM it was the new merch. and it made the film feel like an ad. everything feels like an ad. this is hell.

[et-lesailes]

lockdown lust

pairing: johnny storm x reader

word count: 3270

summary: video chatting with your best friend johnny during quarantine turns a bit steamy.

themes: smut

taglist: @evanstush​​, @tanyam93​​, @bval-1​​, @wonderwinchester​​, @patzammit​​, @rohaintahquil​​, @deidrashouseofpain​​, @sammyslonglostshoe​​, @jadedhillon​​, @bohemian-barbie​​, @whysparker​​, @sebastian-i-stan​​, @sebabestianstan101​​, @lille-kattunge​​, @teller258316​​, @peach-acid​​, @allsortsofinterests​​, @xoxabs88xox​​, @heyiamthatbitch​​, @cptn-sgrogers​​, @heyyouwiththeassbutt​​, @bangtan-serendipity​​, @troublermalik​​, @beardburnsupersoldiers​​, @bookish-shristi​​, @kind-sober-fullydressed​​,  @gingerninjaprincess16​​, @straightforwardly​​,  @denisemarieangelina​​,  @frencchfries​​, @xlanawriter​​, @littlemoistcarrot​​, @pottxrwolff​​, @arianatheangelworld​​, @ifuseekamyevans​​, @southerngracela​​, @nsfwsebbie​​, @rororo06​​, @savemesteeb​​, @raveviolet​​, @inactivewhore​​, @hurricanerinwrites​​, @captainamerica-is-bae​​, @shaddixlife​​, @tessa-bl​​, @marvelouspottering​​, @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc​​, @thegetawaywriter​​, @dwights-new-plague​​​, @rynabarnesrogers​​​, @fckdeusername​​​

notes: man i wish my quarantine was going like this. graphic creds go to the @thewritingdoll​, also patreon saw this first! click here to join :)

You’re laying on your side on your bed, dressed in a simple tank top and shorts with your sports bra just barely peeking out from either side of your shirt, clicking through YouTube video after YouTube video on your laptop. Ever since being unemployed thanks to the pandemic, each day is the same as the previous. Wake up, eat breakfast, watch TV, play some video games, eat lunch, read, try and teach yourself a new language, sit outside on the deck for a bit, eat dinner… you’re slowly going crazy not having anything productive to do, but it at least helps being able to chat with your friends via FaceTime and Zoom. It’s rather depressing being alone and stuck at home, but one of your best friends in particular manages to help quite a lot. Even though Johnny’s going just as crazy as you are, he’s still his fun loving, goofy, and energetic self, and it’s safe to say he knows how to cheer you up whenever you’re feeling the quarantine blues.

A notification pops up on your screen indicating that he’s video calling you, and you gladly answer. “Hey there, gorgeous.” He greets you in his typical flirtatious fashion- as usual, he’s shirtless (you’re assuming also only in underwear) and lounging back in his bed with a beer in one hand. “Fuck, I’m so bored. What are you up to?” You laugh softly, sighing as you look at the YouTube videos on the side of your screen. “Literally nothing. Honestly considering just going to sleep because I have nothing else to do.” 

“You know what I miss?” he suddenly speaks up rather than responding to you, taking a swig of his beer. “Sex. No, I miss even just touching a girl. Like even if it’s a fucking handshake. I’m starting to think I should have just picked a quarantine girlfriend so I could get some action.” You blink and laugh, shaking your head to yourself though you can’t help but admit you understand the feeling. “I’m not gonna lie, I definitely miss the feeling of having someone in the bed with me.” You don’t have a boyfriend, but you did sometimes have a fling every now and then. As Johnny said, though, it’s not just about sex. You simply miss the comforting, reassuring feeling of having a male’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to his body in his slumber. 

“Yeah? So have you been masturbating a lot?” he asks bluntly, and you laugh; you and Johnny are extremely close, and so questions like these never throw you off or make you uncomfortable. “Kind of, yeah, but I’m sure nowhere near as much as you.” You tease with a smirk, and he snickers in return. “Touche, darling. I can’t help it, okay? I have a high sex drive.” He suddenly arches a brow, lifting his drink up slightly. “Hello, why am I the only one drinking? Go get some alcohol, c’mon!” You roll your eyes fondly at his severe ADD, but nod your head. “Alright, alright, be right back.”

You return a few moments later with a glass of wine, settling into your previous position laying on your side and propped up on your elbow, sipping from your glass. “Happy now?” you ask, and he scoffs playfully. “Wine? What are you, forty?” You blink and laugh loudly, making a face. “Beer makes my stomach feel weird! It’s all… carby or whatever.” He hums thoughtfully before reaching out of the frame to pick up something- a bottle of liquor. “Okay, what about shots?”

You look at him in amusement and disbelief, but honestly, you actually feel a little sympathy for him. He just wants company; he’s an incredibly social guy who absolutely loves going out, clubbing, dancing, and meeting new people- of course he just wants a drinking buddy right now. “Alright, alright, I literally just settled down but I’ll get out of bed again just for you.” You wrinkle your nose at him and he cheers happily, pumping his fist in the air. “Hell yeah, that’s my girl! Hurry now before my buzz dies down.” You chuckle softly and get up again, setting your wine down and going back to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of fruit flavored rum. It’s probably going to be a long night if Johnny’s this hyped up already, but you’re actually looking forward to it. You really do love talking to him, especially during this period of time.

An hour flies by without you even realizing it. You’ve been drinking with Johnny the whole time, laughing and chatting and joking around with each other as you usually do; there’s no one who can make you smile as much as he does. His enthusiasm and rowdiness is contagious- you’ve felt so groggy and lazy during these lockdown days, but he always knows how to snap you right back. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Johnny reaches over to grab another can of beer from the table and you catch even more of a view of his rippling abs. “Yeah?” you ask, wondering just how much you’ve drank to actually be checking Johnny out. You can acknowledge he’s an attractive guy, but he’s only been a friend to you all this time- for some reason, you never really entertained the thought of anything more. Perhaps because you’ve seen the way he is with women; not necessarily bad or toxic, but not exactly boyfriend material either. 

“Let’s play a game.” He suggests, giving you a little smirk. “How about Never Have I Ever?” You blink but smile, nodding your head. “Alright, sure. Wanna start?” He suddenly lifts a hand, shaking his head. “Uh uh uh, hold on. This version of the game has a catch.” He downs the rest of his beer before wiping his lips with the back of his hand, grinning at you mischievously. “For every single thing you have done, you have to take off an article of clothing.” 

“What? You know, like, everything I’ve done!” you argue in amusement, and he grins, wiggling his eyebrows. “And you know everything I’ve done. So? C’mon, it’ll be fun. But we can’t do stupid stuff, like “Never have I ever kissed a girl” or “watched hardcore porn”. It has to be more specific.”

You roll your eyes but find yourself agreeing. “Okay. Fine. Shouldn’t you, like, maybe put on clothes first though? You know, so you actually have something to take off?” He blinks and looks down at his half naked body before laughing loudly. “Oh yeah, good point!” You watch as he stands up, eyes directly met with his boxers as he goes to grab a shirt, pants, and even socks and a watch. “You are ridiculous,” you remark, taking a sip of your wine though giggling nonetheless. As always, he knows just how to make you laugh. 

“Alright, I’ll start.” Johnny gets himself comfortable again, dressed in a simple wifebeater and basketball shorts. “Never have I ever… gotten so drunk as a freshman at a college party that I ended up making my really handsome best friend carry me all the way back to my dorm.” You blink and laugh loudly making a face, whining playfully, “Johnny! God, you didn’t even go to school there, why were you there anyways?”

“To carry your ass back home. Now go on, get stripping.” You scoff but take off your tank top, revealing your patterned sports bra underneath. You see him staring and for some reason, you actually feel… excited. This has to be the alcohol, right? You clear your throat, tossing the top aside. “My turn. Never have I ever had sex with someone new five minutes after breaking up with my significant other.” You fire bluntly, the corner of your lips tugging upwards. He laughs, shaking his head to himself. “In my defense, we had only been dating for two weeks, and she went psycho on me. You remember! Right?”

“Just take off the shirt, Johnny.” You laugh, and he arches a brow, playfully retorting, “Wow, bossy. I like it, baby.” He lifts off the wifebeater revealing his abs once again, and you force yourself not to look at them- you know he’d make a comment otherwise. “If we’re going to bring sexcapades into this,” he murmurs thoughtfully, “never have I ever been caught hooking up in a movie theater.” You immediately blush, hiding your face. “Why did I ever tell you about that? It was barely hooking up, it was just making out! And you’ve done that several times at the movies, there’s no way you haven’t.”

“I have, but I’ve never been caught.” He winks and nods towards you. “So, the bra?” You roll your eyes and shake your head, shifting yourself so you’re sitting up on your knees to wiggle out of your shorts. You’re thankful you at least put on some cute underwear today, looking down at the sky blue material with little tiny icons of penguins on it. Johnny shamelessly looks too, chuckling softly. “Wow. Those are fucking precious.” He barely bites on his lip though as he keeps staring, and you feel yourself blushing deeper, quickly settling yourself back down again. 

It’s obvious where this game’s heading. Both of you know it. You don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol, or the fact that you’re just extremely sex deprived, but you’re completely fine with how this night will end. It’s just a fun little game. Nothing wrong with that.

“My turn.” You snap him out of whatever daydream is running through his head, raising an eyebrow. “Never have I ever dated a freaking supermodel.”

“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Y/N?” he teases, but easily kicks off his basketball shorts. “No. Also why aren’t you just taking off your socks and the watch first?” you ask, and he grins, shrugging playfully. “I’m perfectly fine with just chilling with my dick out wearing nothing but a few accessories. What’s wrong with that?” You shake your head to yourself, though you can’t help but find the thought hilarious. How this boy became so bold and confident, you have no idea, but you have to admit it’s even a bit inspirational at times.

“Okay,” Johnny begins, taking a drink of his beer. He looks more excited now, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Never have I ever had sex with a long term significant other.” You blink and make a soft incredulous noise. “You’ve never even had a long term significant other!”

“That’s right, baby girl! Which is it gonna be, the bra or the panties?” 

“Neither.” You smirk and bring your feet into view, wiggling your toes in the fuzzy socks you had been wearing. “I’m guessing someone here doesn’t have a foot fetish at least, because you didn’t even notice that I’m wearing socks.” Johnny groans in playful annoyance as you take them off, crossing his arms. “Fine, you got me there. Your turn.”

You have to pause for a second. Not to think of what you’re going to say- God, you know Johnny better than he does, you could write a book of all the bullshit he pulls. No, you have to pause because this is where things are going to start getting intense. You’re going to see your best friend naked, and he’s going to see you naked. Both of you are horny out of your minds. Both of you are intoxicated. Do you really want to go through with this? 

“Hello? You there?” he asks impatiently, in classic Johnny fashion. You swear the boy has the attention span of a turkey.

“Never have I ever had a wet dream about my best friend.” You suddenly speak, looking at him intently- he looks at you in surprise for a few moments, but before he can move, you’re suddenly the one slowly lifting your sports bra up and over your head, your breasts moving up with it before lightly bouncing down.

He’s completely speechless, his eyes on your chest as if he’s never seen boobs before, his facial expression getting more and more serious from shock. “Holy…” he finally mumbles, nibbling on his lip. You’ve never seen him look so hungry, so full of desire, and it’s only turning you on. There’s a certain thrill and adrenaline rush that comes with getting intimate with someone you’re “not supposed” to, and you’re definitely feeling that buzz right now. 

“Well?” you ask softly, tilting your head to one side. “I have. Have you?” You’re taking a big chance here, but considering what a sleazeball Johnny can be, you’re certain it’s had to have happened at least once. He looks at you for a few moments before slowly smirking, moving his hands down…

… only to take off his socks. Your expression is one of complete disbelief as you’re about to ask him if he’s actually serious, but then he goes to take off his watch. After that, he moves his hands to the hem of his boxers and pushes them down- his erection jumps up, tall and thick, and you can feel the heat in your core simply from looking at it. He lounges back against his headboard, completely nude, his chest visibly heaving slightly from excitement.

You clear your throat trying not to be too obvious about staring at it. “Why’d you… um… why did you take more than one thing off?”

He leans over and he’s out of the frame for a second. You hear the sound of hands rubbing together. Lotion. “Because I’ve had more than one wet dream.” He answers simply upon returning, keeping his eyes on you as he slowly wraps his hand around his cock. “Do you want to hear about one?” You widen your eyes, now only paying attention to this shaft at this point, watching him pump himself slowly. Fuck, you’re so turned on right now. “Yes,” you breathe out, starting to shift uncomfortably as you subconsciously rub your thighs together.

“In the dream you were dating that dumb ex of yours. I can’t even remember his fucking name anymore. The one I hated, you know who I’m talking about.” Johnny begins, eyes briefly roaming your body on his screen. “I came over one day and he was out somewhere. You were wearing this sexy ass lingerie, to surprise him when he got back. When I walked in, you just immediately jumped up on me without realizing it was me- when you did, you looked all shocked, but I just kept holding you in my arms.” He breathes heavier, starting to pump faster. “We start kissing. Making out. My tongue’s practically down your fucking throat, my hands squeezing your perfect ass, I bring you into the bedroom.”

Your cheeks feel flushed and your own breaths are becoming a little more uneven, completely focused on everything he’s saying. “Then what?” you whisper; you don’t even realize your hand is moving to your breast. He lets out a groan simply from watching you, continuing, “I push you down on your hands and knees on the bed and slap your ass so hard, it leaves a mark. I tell you that you belong to me now, and that I don’t care if your boyfriend has to watch us fuck for me to prove that.” He stares at you as you start massaging your breast, watching in awe as your fingers pinch your nipple ever-so-slightly. “Fuck, you like this, don’t you baby girl? After that, I finger fuck you over and over again, I make you cum so goddamn many times. You’re fucking screaming by the end of it, you’re still on your hands and knees like a good girl, your face is against the mattress and your perky little butt’s up in the air for me. You fucking love every second of it.” He grits his teeth slightly as he keeps pumping, eyes dark with lust. “Then you want to know what happens next?”

“Y-yes, yes Johnny, please,” you practically moan, now practically trying to squeeze your thighs together to relieve the frustration. “Then take off your panties,” he suddenly demands, and you instantly obey, wiggling them off your legs. “Sit up so I can see your pussy,” he growls huskily. You adjust the laptop so that it’s in front of you, sitting and leaning back with your legs spread so that your bare entrance is in view, resting yourself on your elbows breathlessly. “I’m so fucking wet, Johnny,” you whine, moving your hand down your torso and using your fingers to start rubbing yourself. “Please, please keep going…”

“God damn,” he groans deeply, the mere noise in itself making you shiver in pleasure. “After I have you cumming over and over again, I grab your hair and thrust inside you, holding your ass and smacking it whenever I fucking want.” You let out a moan as you push one finger inside, tilting your head back. “Your tight little pussy felt so fucking good around me, babe. I had my big dick poking out your goddamn belly from how hard and deep I fucked you. I was tugging your hair, choking you, spanking you, playing with those perfect tits- you made the perfect little fuckdoll, so obedient, so damn needy.” He smirks, hand moving up and down faster, staring at you play with yourself as he murmurs, “Just like how you are now, hm?”

“Fuck, Johnny,” you whine breathlessly, pushing another finger in and pumping even faster. “I need you right now, o-oh… oh my God. I need your big dick inside me right fucking now…”

“Holy shit, Y/N,” he groans just from hearing you, rolling his neck to one side and shutting his eyes, head tilted upwards. “Would you cum all over my dick, just like you did in my dream?” You gasp, nodding immediately, lips parted and cheeks pink. “Yes! Yes… fuck… I want you to cum inside me, too…” He grins wider, chest heaving as he watches you weakly, hand working his long length intensely. “I can definitely do that, baby girl… o-ooh fuck, I’m close… I’m going to fucking cum right now…!”

“Me too!” you cry out, leaning against the headboard and rubbing hard; it’s not long before Johnny gets a view of you releasing, and the sight is enough to set him off with a loud groan- you can’t help but stare at how much he cums, wishing you could be there to taste all of it. 

“God damn.” He slowly exhales, leaning back entirely. “That was… wow. I fucking needed that.” He barely straightens up to grab a tissue from his nightstand, cleaning his mess but glancing up at you breathing heavily. “And especially with you. You’re so hot, Y/N, I’ve wanted to fuck you ever since I met you.” You widen your eyes surprised, trying to catch your breath as you stare at him. “What? Really…? I… I didn’t think you saw me like that, we were always just such… best friends.”

“Yeah. That’s why I didn’t do anything.” He admits, carelessly tossing the tissue aside, but you’re too shocked to even show any disgust. “You’re the only girl friend I’ve had. I didn’t want to treat you like everyone else. But fuck, it’s been hard.” He pauses and nods towards his length, “This has been too, every time I’m around you.”

Despite the otherwise serious conversation, you can’t help but laugh, even feeling somewhat flattered. You move to sit more comfortably, biting your lip. “Well then,” you mumble tilting your head, “maybe on the next video call I can tell you about my dream…”

[littlelittlebear]

Two Drifters | 3/3 Jeronica Secret Santa

@fangstomysweetpea oh my god.... its finally time!!! 

The moment i’ve been aching for is finally here and i am HYPE

Happy Christmas my dear Tumblr-friend, I hope you enjoy this jeronica playlist/au/riverdale rewrite.

A couple things first, the descriptions on each song are just an outline as to whats happening in that moment/what the song calls for. Also, this is like a story, so its not really something you can play on shuffle lol. I’m confident you didn’t really need these “instructions” lmao, just want you to have a bomb-ass jeronica experience XDD

Also, you don’t have to “follow” the descriptions when you think them out, you can completely take the reigns too if you’d like!

So.... here ya go!!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1MflcKtyBDRjnP0giX03X4?si=ZcsD0GfxR0KevhgDpTZVKQ

And here are the descriptions-

Oxford Comma-

Locking eyes for the first time… wow. Just- everything is in slow motion.

Baby Doll-

Slow dancing in Pop’s after the dance. (V goes to Pop’s instead of Archie)

Can I call you tonight?-

Jughead and Veronica’s moments of glee when they finally set up a date with each other. Veronica squeals and jumps up and down, Jughead punches the air, they both fall down on the bed with blissful looks on their faces. Two cinnamon rolls.

“So, I’ll call you tonight?”

“Yes! *Too enthusiastic- calm down Veronica* Yes. Call me tonight.”

*Que music*

Just Like a Movie-

Jughead calls this their theme song one day when they’re just hanging out in the student lounge as a joke.

Scrawny-

Veronica calls this Jughead’s theme song in response, they have a good laugh and Jughead rolls his eyes at the lyrics A LOT.

Space Girl-

Jughead calls this Veronica’s theme song- because she’s “oUt oF tHiS worLD!”.

She smacks his arm for being so cheesy.

Good Morning-

The morning after they do the “horizontal tango” with each other for the first time, they dance in Veronica’s kitchen, knowing all the words- only to be interrupted by an amused Hermione Lodge.

Unforgettable-

Their first Christmas together, spent snowed in at The Pembrooke. But honestly, they don’t mind.

Shake it out-

Jughead and Veronica cry together after her parents blackmail them/force them to break up. #parentssuck.

Your star-

Coping with the breakup, newsflash- they aren’t, or when they are... they don’t go the healthiest route. So. Much. Angst.

Rare-

Veronica changes up her style a little bit, which really is just lower cut tops, just trying to forget about Jughead- does a lil sexy performance singing to this at a pep rally.

Out the door-

Jughead never leaving the depressional stage of grief.                                

+ Exchanging broken looks that just scream “I’m not over you.”

I can’t get you off my mind-

Drunkenly hooking up at a party because their tension recently had just been… w o w

Drugs-

Sneaking around- sexy times ;)

Why Do You Love Me-

Having a screaming match, then a very angry/hot makeup session, then very angry sex XD

The Wind-

After some hOrIzOnTaL TaNGo at Sweetwater River, they admit that they can’t keep away from each other, saying that they love each other for the first time- followed by Veronica crying tears of joy cuz she’s never done that before- and that they’re going to work everything out, together. They just hold each other after that.

“I love you, Princess.”

Veronica props herself on her elbow to face him (they were laying down before)

Jughead sees her widened eyes. “Y-you don’t have to say it back, I know its ha-“

“I love you too, Jug”

You and I-

Montage of working at Pop’s for summer, ending with a jam sesh in Jughead’s trailer- Veronica just in his shirt and Jughead just in his sweats. FP comes in, surprised to see Veronica, but welcomes her easily. FP and Veronica bond, and he embarrasses Jug with some baby photos. While Jug’s probably beet-red, he can’t help but completely oggle at Veronica- happy that they don’t have to hide from his dad anymore.

Start a Riot-

Jeronica send a little message to Hiram through security cameras (they just make out lmao), showing that he can’t keep them apart. They then proceed to trash Hiram’s jingle jangle lab. :)

Moon River-

Slow dancing after having been crowned homecoming King and Queen. And of course, because Veronica is 1/2 of this relationship- this becomes their song.

“That’s us.”

“What do you mean?” Veronica asks, confused.

“The two drifters in the song. ‘Two drifters, off to see the world.’ That’s us”

Veronica’s eyes start to gloss.

“I absolutely love that. And you.”

Teenagers-

Being the badass power couple they are, being 100% team Serpent against the Bulldogs during the riots. Its all one long shot too- no cuts :))

A Sunday Kind of Love-

Looking at each other in slow motion (wow- I really love putting stuff in slow motion) when Veronica is officially named Serpent queen, they’re absolutely smitten with each other. Cut to them dancing in the Wyrm to the song, discussing how they’re going to make their big debut as Riverdale’s resident power couple… second to Choni of course.

“So… now that I’m your queen, I was thinking had a debut of sorts. Just to educate the public of this new order.” Veronica jabs, only kind of joking.

Jughead laughs, but it sounds more of a huff.

“Could you settle for a hand-in-hand entrance at school? Or would you be more comfortable with a red carpet event?”

Glory-

Veronica and Jughead walking into school as Serpent Royalty with matching Serpent jackets- no special colours thank you very much. You can bet your ass its in slow motion.

Worlds Apart-

Veronica crying at Jughead’s bed-side after the Ghoulies fuck him up.

Boss Bitch-

Veronica gets revenge on the Ghoulies and Penny Peabody with the help of the female Serpents, the River vixens, Hermione, Betty, and Alice.

Le Symbolique-

Veronica and Jughead reunite from his state of unconsciousness, this whole sequence is in slow motion, with a lot of white lighting/glare. Jughead almost died and just that thought alone KILLED Veronica.

“Jug I was so scared-“

“Shush Ronnie, let me look at you.” His teary eyes trace over Veronica’s face with a beaming smile, before he brings his girlfriend closer and kisses the top of her forehead.

Harmony Hall- 

Some core four bliss before it gets chaotic again, with a side of Jeronica and Barchie cuddles.

Not Your Barbie Girl-

A River vixen performance, Jughead is so fricken in love with Ronnie right now cuz she’s just RADIATING empowerment.

Therefore I Am- 

Jeronica sends Hiram to jail again after a bomb ass one liner from Veronica:

“Mija, you have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Only one thing’s false in that sentence Hiram, I’m not your Mija anymore.”

(HELP ME I CAN’T WRITE)

*Proud Jughead smirk*

This Life-

Veronica meeting JB and Gladys, them getting along great- just a wholesome Lodge/Jones get-together.

Don’t Call Me Angel-

Veronica changes her name to Luna, fully emancipating herself from Hiram, and this gets Jughead really turned on XD

Sway With Me-

La Bonne Nuit’s first successful night, Josie, Veronica, Toni, and Cheryl perform. Veronica somehow convinces Jughead to dance with her in public. Think Moulin Rouge’s Diamond Dogs type editing.

My Oh My- 

Getting screwed over my Hiram, Veronica is in a TON of debt and needs some “stress relief” with Jughead. He obliges. Happily.

HIP-

Veronica and Cheryl start their rum business, Jughead helps and oml he’s so proud of her. Btw, Cheronica are HUGE badasses right now.

Bury a friend-

Surviving Eversgreen Forest and Penelope Blossom…

Youth-

The core four are free from the forest, successfully escaping Penelope Blossom. Jughead and Veronica share a tearful but happy kiss, laying down on the back of a truck.

Don’t Take The Money-

The core four hang out at pops and promise to have fun this senior year, Jughead steals Veronica’s cherry from her milkshake, but being so vulnerable to Midget’s (He calls her Midget. Yup.) puppy dog eyes, he makes it up to her by sharing his fries. 

“And for a brief, shining moment, we were kids again.” all that good shiz

The Four Seasons: “Winter”-

Jeronica hangs with the Stonewall psychos.

(Online Love)-

Veronica and Jughead FaceTime and Veronica has this vibe like she’s the montage of the hero’s dead girlfriend in a movie. Like her hair is all splayed out on her pillow and she’s all smiley-

“You look like an angel right now- with your hair like a halo and how much you’re smiling.”

Veronica laughs

“Well it’s your fault I’m smiling you idiot.” Her voice softens towards the end of the sentence.

“I love you too, Ron.”

El Tejano-

Party at Stonewall, Jeronica are absolutely WASTED. Fun fact- Jughead get’s really into PDA when he’s drunk

Burned Out- 

Oh shit… I guess Jughead is dead now. (dw, Betty’s still the one who “kills him”)

Claire de Lune-

Just kidding, he’s alive, and he and Veronica have a really cute moment in the bunker. Veronica starts reading his novel, per his request, and he just starts playing this on the record player and she smiles but her eyes are still on the book. He just kind of watches her, and when she starts beaming at the book he can’t help but kiss her right there. Then they just cuddle and little bit, Veronica on Jug’s lap, reading the book some more.

Girls Like GIrls-

Veronica has to prove Jughead is dead, so she and Betty kinda sorta… make out. Like, a lot. Betty is dating Archie at this point, and he’s the one who gets “mad”. But basically Betty and Veronica end up making out again cuz they spot Donna watching them. Veronica is a bi con, and Betty might be too but everyones in denial so *shrugs*.

Dream Lover-

(Time skip, because I’m lazy) Jughead’s alive again, sadly, his spot at NYU was taken by well, Veronica. Luckily, after pulling some strings, she surprises Jug with a full-ride acceptance letter from NYU starting second semester.

Magic Moments-

Yay! Prom! Barchie gets crowned king and queen (Beronica was kind of forgotten about, but thats fine, because we’re here for Jeronica first). While Betty and Archie are totally lost in each other, Jughead and Veronica are just kind of joking around on the side. While it’s Barchie’s moment, Jeronica is still looking pretty damn cute rn. Also, this becomes Barchie’s song!!

Oxford comma-

The song comes through the speaker at prom, Jughead invites Veronica to dance. As they sway, they gaze at one another like they’re seeing one another for the first time, to the song that started it all. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And thats it! Thats Jeronica’s story from season one to season four, I hope you have a very merry Christmas and I hope you liked your presents! Also, if anyone feels like adding on to the dialogue or using any of the points in a fic or even making a whole ass fanfiction- please do!! I didn’t do this justice with my mediocre quotes so it would actually be preferred XD.

And again, happy Christmas :))

[thursday-knight]

music tag game

tagged by @thenervousduck

i've barely listened to music this year, so instead of music, i'm using youtube.

20 songs on shuffle:

(so i'm doing 20 videos from my history instead)

1. cats! and the weird mind of ts elliot - maggie mae fish

2. owning more than one switch is finally worth it! cloud saves - nintendo life

3. my name is inigo montoya princess bride fight analysis - jill bearup

4. halloweentown - cosmonaut variety hour

5. what joker can learn from dolemite - nando v movies

6. adam sandler: really that good - moviebob

7. the hysteria of this flower explained: behind the hype murakami's flowers - hypebeast

8. games i am playing 5 - happy console gamer

9. comedy and masculinity - curio

10. the try guys try archery - try guys

11. kristen dresses like jen for a week - kitchen & jorn

12. please don't tell nintendo about this video... - beat em ups

13. cyberpunk 2077 review kindafunny gamescast ep. 53 - kindafunny games

14. when god adds extra spice r/traa - onetopic

15. can i buy better sleep? pillow edition - devin but better

16. the try guys bake cookies without a recipe - the try guys

17. cyberpunk 2077 first thoughts - happy console gamer

18. trixie builds her own "barbie cookie dreamhouse" from mattel - trixie mattel

19. kristen and jen compete to make the best yule log cake - kitchen & jorn

20. i read the new twilight book - strange aeons

10 songs i've been listening to:

(instead 10 channels i've been watching a lot of)

1. strange aeons

2. the completionist

3. happy console gamer

4. arlo

5. beat em ups

6. the try guys

7. devin but better

8. film joy / movies with mikey / deep dive

9. nando v movies

10. kitchen and jorn

9 most influential abums:

(instead 9 most influential channels)

1. film joy / movies with mikey / deep dive

2. moviebob

3. strange aeons

4. maggie mae fish

5. happy console gamer

6. nando v movies

7. vlogbrothers

8. brows held high

9. every frame a painting

tagging:

@masteranakinskywalker @ihni @crownofstardustandbone @frightenedofrabbits @gaymacriot @oh-goodness-loki @rascheln @nblesbianbenhanscom

[sandriinehebert]

— 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓇𝓎 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓇𝓎

progress has been made! i welcomed a new employee. she’s only been doing this for a couple of months apparently but i allowed myself to trust her. i let her close the salon last night. she did great! i told her i was proud. she said i was a nice boss. that made me happy (not being called a nice boss, but to have found a talented person like her). i only woke up thirty minutes late but i still made it to work! CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. maybe next time, i’ll wake up 25 minutes late! setting the bar low and gain pride from doing so little is very satisfying. other than that, i loosened up a little last week. i had a few drinks, but it was fun. i had a great time with the people i was with. i’ve done a lot of reading about dog breeds. i think i’m slowly making up my mind. i really wanted a golden retriever but i’m a terrible ball thrower, so i would make my puppy very unhappy that’s my brand after all. and i didn’t think about grandma yesterday, or last week even, maybe last month? is it a sign that i’m finally moving on? do i want to move on? ANYWAYS back to the usual content:

today’s to-do list:

split summer vacations for the girls

get the checks ready for the girls’ bonus

call adam about mom’s birthday party

have mom call the optometrist’s clinic for my yearly appointment (guilt trip her into not teaching me how to be an adult)

visit doctor to renew birth control shot

make new spotify playlists for work (come up with an excuse for forgetting to add taylor swift) IMPORTANT: must be 4 hours long!

visit the animal sanctuary REPORTED TO TOMMOROW!!!

wash all of the floors at the salon + call the company for a new lamp

bake cookies for tess and georgie <3

DO NOT WAIT UNTIL 2 AM TO GO TO BED

grocery list:

lait au chocolat (small bottles x5)

chicken fingers and sweet potato fries

tomatoes + tiny cucumbers bc they’re cute

chicken breasts

maple syrup

frosted flakes

bagels (plain + sesame)

oranges, bananas, watermelon, golden kiwis

apple juice

random ideas:

wow i really hate avocadoes

why am i dreaming about harry styles all the time? does that mean we’re soulmates? DOES THAT MAKE ME A COUGAR

does tony really hate me??????? yeah probably (add to to-do list: ask tony if he hates me and if he says yes, then move out of town to live in the shame of being despised by one of my only friends)

i should make new friends

friendships are high maintenance OR am i high maintenance that is the question

nah i’m an independent strong woman who don’t need no friend (add to to-do list #2: ask rupert if he wants to hang out again i miss him a lot)

one day i’ll read erik’s book, today is not the day

est-ce que je peux encore écrire en français ou ai-je perdu toutes mes capacités grammaticales? nope, still got it. i’m very smart.

recommendations:

movies: spotlight (2015),  finally finish inglorious basterds, barbie and the magic of dolphins (2017), ex machina (2015), titanic (THAT’S A JOKE I’M SO FUNNY i’ll never watch that shit hahaha i said shit well wrote oh well), all of the john wick movies (strictly for keanu reeves)

music: niall horan’s new album, marina [and the diamonds ?], blackpink

activities: visit the juice spot in town and figure what’s the hype around grass and celery juice, sign up for tai chi (apparently calimg?), try out tennis, stop talking for thirty minutes

recipes to try:

flatbread pizzas yum

strawberry & rhubarb pie with maman!!!!

butternut squash spaghetti

fresh summer rolls with adam for his next visit

tacos in lettuce wraps

couscous salad?

find one more person to hate on avocadoes with

@devinstonerpg

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/9/2018: HELLRAISER III - HELL ON EARTH

This is one of those movies that I really want to like, because it maintains this glow among some horror nerds, and I want to be able to enjoy Christmas and birthdays just like the secular kids, but as of 2018, I am still uncompelled by the (minor, culty) hype. Maybe it’s because HELLRAISER is such a great movie, and also because I have such deeply personal feelings about HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II; maybe it’s because I just don’t find the boringly beautiful Terry Farrell any more charming here than I did on Deep Space 9; maybe it’s because I just don’t have a good enough sense of humor to fully embrace the CD Cenobite, even though I would normally run-not-walk to see anything one might reasonably say is among the most ridiculous things ever filmed. I guess I’m just here to say that, yes, HELLRAISER III exists, and I’m not sorry I’ve seen it, but I still haven’t developed that urgent need to see it again.

Anthony Hickox, director of WAXWORK and WAXWORK II and WARLOCK: ARMAGEDDON (the latter of which I would surely rather be watching than *almost* anything else I’ll have mentioned here), took up the directorial reigns from Tony Randel of HELLBOUND fame; the latter was apparently replaced due to producers’ fears that his vision for HELL ON EARTH was too bleak. The more I read about this movie, the more I came to resent it for what it was not. I would definitely have had a use for Randel’s hella bleak HELLRAISER III. I would also have been first in line to see a movie totally focused on Julia, Clare Higgins’ often-skinless villainess from HELLRAISER II, though she apparently turned it down just to break my heart. And not to say that I think movie franchises like this should never change or evolve, but I could also have stood for some QT with my favorite old cenobites, and even the perennially mascara-smeared Ashley Laurence in more than a grainy cameo. What I got instead was a movie made at a breakneck speed, with actors working up to 17 hours a day and having no real sense of what the finished product was supposed to be like, slathered in a decent amount of gore but tainted by some awkward early CG effects, and garnished with some pretty Freudian daddy issues material that I actually would have welcomed if it were accompanied by any kind of chemistry between the leads.

So what actually happens in the movie? Scummy club owner JP Monroe acquires a raunchy statue in which both Pinhead and the lament configuration are trapped. He discovers the real value of this artifact when Pinhead slurps up one of JP’s dates, sending him on the familiar quest to bring the demon more victims in exchange for...some abstract concept about pleasure. As cenobitic activity ramps up around town, struggling reporter Joey takes note, and she teams up with homeless goth chick Terri-within-an-”i” to try to turn this into her first big scoop. Joey’s mission is complicated, not so much by the physical dangers ahead, than by this thing where her reoccurring nightmares about her father dying in Vietnam begin to blend with present day ethereal encounters with WWI Captain Elliot Spencer, Pinhead’s discarded human form. Spencer explains that without him, Pinhead is pure evil (I guess he wasn’t in the first two movies), which Pinhead simultaneously proves by rampaging across Manhattan turning douchebags into cenobites willy-nilly. It will be up to Joey to figure out how to unlock the infamous box and send Pinhead home before he creates a hell on earth.

If I’m being perfectly honest, I love seeing Doug Bradley with the pins off. As with Robert Englund, he transitions easily from being one of cinema’s most seductively pervy bad guys, to a naturally charming and somewhat paternal oddball, which is very rewarding for those lonely dorks among us who grew up favoring ‘80s movie monsters over GI Joes or My Little Ponys. This ought to make it shamefully exciting to see Captain Spencer try to fill the daddy-shaped hole in Joey’s heart, but statuesque Terry Farrell is far too womanly to be swishing around the astral plane in a nighty with a cartoonishly humongous bow on the back, literally screaming the word “daddy” into the void.  However, the problem with this bit isn’t only that the comparatively queenly Ms. Farrell doesn’t exactly fill the nymphety little shoes of Ashley Laurence from the previous two movies. The metaphor is confused, too; what does war have to do with the existing thematic material of HELLRAISER? We get some kind of spiel about how Elliot Spencer’s dehumanizing military experience drove him to seek out the ambiguous pleasures of the cenobites, but that doesn’t justify the arbitrary conflation of Joey’s father’s ‘Nam experience with Pinhead’s WWI origins. At that, it’s a little weird, after two borderline pornographic movies full of people being skinned alive and turned into raisins and so forth, to suddenly suggest that Pinhead wasn’t all the way evil before. It is only now that Spencer’s soul is drifting around on its lonesome that we’re meant to really worry about Pinhead, who is meanwhile charging around in Manhattan fucking shit up with the aim of world domination, or something.

The main contribution of HELL ON EARTH is the new cenobites that Pinhead creates along the way, and while you wouldn’t call them “good”, they are at least...something! The most Clive Barker-y concept in the movie is that punky street urchin Terri is unable to dream, which makes her seem like prime cenobite material, somehow. Curiously though, she is reduced to a demonic chainsmoker, who mumbles something about having dreams while doing nothing much besides burning Joey with cigarettes. HELLRAISER III may totally lack inspiration, but that sure doesn’t keep the movie down; It also offers us a sex addict cenobite with thrusting pistons in his head that I guess symbolize “doing it”, a molotov cocktail-hurling bartender cenobite who gets wrapped in bar-bed wire (and is formally referred to as the “Barbie cenobite”), and a cameraman cenobite who...well, I don’t think I could possibly top the fandom wiki on this matter: “Whatever he films can explode using his mind. Also, the camera in his head has a hydraulic device that allows it to impale people.” If you’ve actually seen this movie, you may be wondering why I’d leave out the infamous CD cenobite, a club DJ who gains the ability to kill people with CDs that pop out of his head. I didn’t mean to. I just think it’s worth saying, all on its own, that there is a CD cenobite who kills people with CDs that pop out of his head. You won’t get to see the more iconic female cenobite, not Chatterbox nor Butterball. In fact the whole concept of torturing damned souls has pretty much gone out the window; in a climactic scene, Joey cowers in the middle of the street while the new cenobites menace her with cigarettes and lead pipes like some leftover gang from THE WARRIORS. It’s weird. HELLRAISER III is a weird movie. I’m not totally sure what it’s getting at, but as I mentioned at the very beginning: it sure does exist.