#from clients and friends and also just people online

[jyndor]

jesus the amount of people who have had therapists go full mask off zionist fash since oct 7, like I am so glad my therapist just has a dumbass friend who gave her noa tishby's shitty ass book and had a vacation planned to israel with her friend but otherwise didn't know much about palestine or israel. it was very easy to educate her and recommend books that arent blatant hasbara. she canceled her trip shortly after, I'm sure she isn't full on radical anti-zionist like me but shes a liberal boomer who means well so I'll take my wins where I can get them. meanwhile people have literally had to fire their therapists because they support and defend genocide IN THE MIDDLE OF THERAPY SESSIONS LIKE ??? bitches should lose their licenses that is so unethical (and also evil and racist but purely from a therapy standpoint no therapist should ever argue about politics with a patient or client, especially with a palestinian client or patient jfc)

anyway imagine your therapist is like "yeah I know we are here for the genocide YOUR family is experiencing but I personally was brainwashed as a child and don't believe your family has a right to exist"

[hamletthedane]

I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

[mortalityplays]

You need more free art.

I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.

You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.

We all need more free art.

So what am I going to do about it?

This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.

I'm going to do this:

1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.

This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.

Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.

2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.

Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.

Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.

I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.

2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY

To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.

On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.

You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.

3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS

Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).

The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.

4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE

I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.

tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!

[uyuforu]

Astro Observations: Uyu's Solar Return Chart for 2024-2025

My birthday is very soon, so I thought of doing an analysis of my solar return chart, which starts the day before my birthday, so August 5th. I hope you can enjoy this post! I will focus on conjunctions or important aspects mostly here, I don't want the post to be too long. If you see an aspect that hasn't been mentions and would like to give your opinion, feel free to do it in the comments ^^

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Solar Return Chart I

જ⁀➴ Solar Return Chart II

જ⁀➴ Uranus in the Solar Return

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A Solar Return Chart (SRC) is an astrological predictive tool that enable you to discover what will happen for you during the year of your birthday. It is based on the return of your Sun, so your Sun will have the same exact position as in your Natal Chart.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun 10H means focus on this year is on career, popularity and success in those areas. I can be more popular and achieve a certain level of fame this year. I can also be more successful in my career and perhaps more known in it too. I can make a name for myself.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Moon 10H means I'll be more connected to my work emotionally. But that also means caring more about my work. I'll be very focused on my career. I can also be prone to stress more about my career this year. This placement also suggests emotions based on work. But it means my emotions will be public too. Also working from home.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mercury 10H means I can write more for work, I can communicate more also at work or for work. I'll talk a lot about work, or ideas perhaps too. A time to work online a lot, and I can also communicate a lot with clients. I can be talked about more this year for my career, or even reputation matters too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Virgo Mercury can mean expressing ourselves in a very logical and analytical way this year. Mercury in Virgo makes us talk in a more serious tone, or just more detailed one too. There are less emotions, meaning we also express ourselves based on what is more logical to do, and less based on how we feel.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus 10H means big success in my career this year! Recognition will def happen. It can mean also I will love what I do for living this year. This can also mean meeting more people related to my job, and make more friends who are coworkers. And this can also mean having more connections too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars 8H can be a sign of having s3x often this year, and to be more intimate than before too. This can be a year you'll have a lot of steamy moments. It can also indicate some people being "obsessed" with me. I can manifest more easily this year too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Jupiter 8H also is an indicator of having a lot of s3x this year. It can also be an indicator of some people having a crush on me. This is also an indicator of being able to manifest more. But it can also mean receiving an inheritance, or someone will give me a lot of money this year. I can also buy a big thing, such as a house for example.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Saturn 5H means this year I can learn lessons about being more mature. But also knowing when to have fun, and knowing when to be serious. I won't be pregnant this year too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Uranus 7H means having unexpected events happening in your love life. Meeting people unexpectedly. I could also meet people I never thought I would meet. Ruler tells a lot. My Ruler is in 10H, so I could meet people for work or who will help me in my work. I can also have a sudden contract for work. Uranus also represents change, so sudden change and transformation happening in my love life, and a contract can also transform my career suddenly.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Neptune 5H means embracing my creativity this year, having a lot of ideas, perhaps being inspired by dreams. But it can also mean being very unique with this, and people might copy me lol. I can also tend to romanticize life or my hobbies this year, and I can discover and have more hobbies!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Pluto 3H means people can gossip a lot about me, and I wouldn't be surprised since I have a 10H stellium. Pluto opposite my sun, this could also be a sign of talking behind my back. Pluto 3H is also a sign of transformation related to my voice, how I think, some of my opinions, my siblings, I can also obsess about things more easily. This is also an indicator of discovering secrets or truth. Since Pluto is in Aquarius and so ruler is Uranus, my Uranus is in 7H in this SRC, this can be discovering truth or secrets about a romantic partner.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Vertex 8H means a transformative experience in general, and it's destined, Vertex is all about things that will eventually happen. And it's also a sign of getting proposed to ;-; It can be a sudden proposal. It can also be an indicator of studying more esoteric or occult matters.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Part of Fortune 1H can be an indicator of a glow up, or just feeling blesses, happy and content with our appearance. It can also mean having good opportunities related to our looks.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Chiron 6H can mean a pet in my family can pass away. Ruler is also in 8H, so this can happen. Otherwise, it can be a sign of having a weak health or just some problems with health due to overworking. It can also mean healing health issues.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Scorpio Rising 0° means a huge transformation is coming. I can change physically but also mentally this year, and it can actually be drastic. The last time I had this placement, I lost weight, and I also had a glow up. This can mean the same thing, and POF being in my 1H, conjunct my rising, it can mean the same. It can also mean attracting jealous people.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus DSC can be a sign of entering a long term and serious relationhsip, and attracting people who want the same.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Leo MC is a sign of success and fame potential in career this year! Also excellent reputation. Can be noticed and known easily this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 1H Ruler in 3H can mean people can gossip about me because of how I look. People can also talk a lot about me this year just because of me, my aura, no real reasons can be there tbh. I can be talked about a lot this year, people talking a lot about me, what I do, etc. This can be a year where I'll travel, learn, write, and just want to know more.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ SRC 1H Ruler in Natal 2H means I can attract more money this year, and I can make a lot more than I used to have. I can also change my aesthetic. I can also shop more!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 1H Ruler conjunct IC can mean living alone, or moving, detaching from family.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 2H Ruler in 3H can mean I'll talk a lot about my possessions, but it can also mean people gossip about what I own, and what I buy.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 3H Ruler in 5H can be a sign of doing or receiving a love declaration. I can sing more perhaps this year. This can also be a sign of going on vacations more this year. I can also dance more this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 4H Ruler in 7H is a sign of moving in with a romantic partner. Also the sign of starting a long term relationship.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 5H Ruler in 5H is a sign to enter a romantic relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 6H Ruler in 8H perhaps means to be obsessed with work and to work so much it can become unhealthy. It can also be an indicator of falling sick because of busy schedule.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 7H Ruler in 10H is a major sign to enter a serious and long term relationship!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 8H Ruler in 10H is another indicator of being obsessed with work, working a lot, and perhaps also my career having a huge transformation.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 9H Ruler in 10H means if I travel, I can travel for work mostly. I can also learn more for my career. Make more researches, etc.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 10H Ruler in 10H can be a sign of more fame or a better reputation in my work, being more known.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 11H Ruler in 10H means using more social medias for my career this year, or just being more seen online?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Groom 8H can mean being more intimate with my FS this year! It can also means there will be a transformative experience happening with him. It can also mean that I can have hot moments with him this year lol.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Juno 11H can mean talking with someone I love/ have a crush on online a lot, or long distance relationship. Calling and texting your lover a lot. It is also an indicator of being in a relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Natal Venus conjunct SR Venus means this is a very important year for my love life. Not the main focus, but there will be major events happening in this area too. Usually it can be a time when something big will happen. And Venus is entering in Virgo in August 2024, and it's my Venus return, so it's starting right away! Last time I had a Venus Return was when I met my FS.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 10H Stellium is a big indicator of success in career, recognition in career, and just being in the spotlight. It is an indicator of having a major success in our career that can makes us level up in our life and reputation. Also an indicator of fame.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun conjunct Moon means feeling stable emotionally speaking this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mercury conjunct Venus can be a sign of having a love declaration this year, or doing one. But it's also a sign of writing love letters, or being very romantic usually. It can also mean getting more compliments this year! Also a sign of being proposed to.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Juno conjunct Union can mean meeting or being in union with a romantic partner.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus sextile Boda, this is a wedding indicator lol, but if I see something related to wedding happening that year it's more a proposal than an actual wedding ;-;

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Saturn conjunct Neptune can be a sign of self doubt, and I have this placement in 5H, so this can make me insecure related to my love life, or I can feel insecure and it can create obstacles in my love life. It can also mean me being doubtful or my imagination and creativity. And I can also doubt about things in my love life.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Uranus conjunct DSC means something will change about my love life.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus conjunct Juno is a sign to be in a relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars conjunct Jupiter can be a sign of have a lot of steamy times this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Jupiter conjunct Groom can mean something good will happen with my FS this year, perhaps also Groom or me can travel to the other, but I feel like Groom more. this can be an indicator of being in a relationship or being proposed to.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars conjunct Groom can be a sign of having s3x with your FS. But it can also mean there will be fights with them too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Vertex conjunct Groom can be a sign of meeting FS but also of having some important moments happening with FS. Usually the years where you have that placement, you can encounter and spend time with your FS.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun conjunct MC means being the center of attention this year, being seen and noticed a lot. People will just focus on me.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Scorpio 2H can mean spending more money or making more money this year. I can either be obsessed with my belongings, or I can just spend more because I make money.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Capricorn 3H can mean being more serious about the way I speak and express myself, but also more dedicated too. I can also speak a lot about work.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Aquarius 4H means relationship with family members can change, evolve. I can also move, something will be different about my home and family than the previous years. Something will change, and perhaps a new family member can come (marriage, in laws, babies, etc.)

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Pisces 5H can mean very creative and romantic this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Aries 6H means more energies to my routine, and being very busy this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus 7H means finding love is more possible, since I have a Venus sign over the 7H. But it can make me attract serious and long term relationships this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus 8H can mean I can be less worried about money this year. I am also more chill.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Cancer 9H, I don't think I'll travel much this year. I could still, but it won't perhaps be too much in foreign lands. If I do travel in foreign lands, it can be perhaps related to homes, so I could live in foreign lands eventually. But it doesn't seem like a big placement.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[feminist-space]

"Artists have finally had enough with Meta’s predatory AI policies, but Meta’s loss is Cara’s gain. An artist-run, anti-AI social platform, Cara has grown from 40,000 to 650,000 users within the last week, catapulting it to the top of the App Store charts.

Instagram is a necessity for many artists, who use the platform to promote their work and solicit paying clients. But Meta is using public posts to train its generative AI systems, and only European users can opt out, since they’re protected by GDPR laws. Generative AI has become so front-and-center on Meta’s apps that artists reached their breaking point.

“When you put [AI] so much in their face, and then give them the option to opt out, but then increase the friction to opt out… I think that increases their anger level — like, okay now I’ve really had enough,” Jingna Zhang, a renowned photographer and founder of Cara, told TechCrunch.

Cara, which has both a web and mobile app, is like a combination of Instagram and X, but built specifically for artists. On your profile, you can host a portfolio of work, but you can also post updates to your feed like any other microblogging site.

Zhang is perfectly positioned to helm an artist-centric social network, where they can post without the risk of becoming part of a training dataset for AI. Zhang has fought on behalf of artists, recently winning an appeal in a Luxembourg court over a painter who copied one of her photographs, which she shot for Harper’s Bazaar Vietnam.

“Using a different medium was irrelevant. My work being ‘available online’ was irrelevant. Consent was necessary,” Zhang wrote on X.

Zhang and three other artists are also suing Google for allegedly using their copyrighted work to train Imagen, an AI image generator. She’s also a plaintiff in a similar lawsuit against Stability AI, Midjourney, DeviantArt and Runway AI.

“Words can’t describe how dehumanizing it is to see my name used 20,000+ times in MidJourney,” she wrote in an Instagram post. “My life’s work and who I am—reduced to meaningless fodder for a commercial image slot machine.”

Artists are so resistant to AI because the training data behind many of these image generators includes their work without their consent. These models amass such a large swath of artwork by scraping the internet for images, without regard for whether or not those images are copyrighted. It’s a slap in the face for artists – not only are their jobs endangered by AI, but that same AI is often powered by their work.

“When it comes to art, unfortunately, we just come from a fundamentally different perspective and point of view, because on the tech side, you have this strong history of open source, and people are just thinking like, well, you put it out there, so it’s for people to use,” Zhang said. “For artists, it’s a part of our selves and our identity. I would not want my best friend to make a manipulation of my work without asking me. There’s a nuance to how we see things, but I don’t think people understand that the art we do is not a product.”

This commitment to protecting artists from copyright infringement extends to Cara, which partners with the University of Chicago’s Glaze project. By using Glaze, artists who manually apply Glaze to their work on Cara have an added layer of protection against being scraped for AI.

Other projects have also stepped up to defend artists. Spawning AI, an artist-led company, has created an API that allows artists to remove their work from popular datasets. But that opt-out only works if the companies that use those datasets honor artists’ requests. So far, HuggingFace and Stability have agreed to respect Spawning’s Do Not Train registry, but artists’ work cannot be retroactively removed from models that have already been trained.

“I think there is this clash between backgrounds and expectations on what we put on the internet,” Zhang said. “For artists, we want to share our work with the world. We put it online, and we don’t charge people to view this piece of work, but it doesn’t mean that we give up our copyright, or any ownership of our work.”"

Read the rest of the article here:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/06/06/a-social-app-for-creatives-cara-grew-from-40k-to-650k-users-in-a-week-because-artists-are-fed-up-with-metas-ai-policies/

[souliebird]

[[and then i met you || ch.1]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary: A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s.

a/n: Reader is an extremely anxious person. That’s the note.

words: 5.6k

You hope Matthew Michael Murdock is a good man. 

You tried to research him online, but you didn't find anything that could sway you one way or another.

The news articles say he's some sort of local hero - not only for being a lawyer who does a lot of pro-bono work but for saving a man from being hit by a truck when he was a kid. They all give his tragic backstory before praising him and his law partner for helping the underprivileged and going after some big shot corrupt businessman - twice. The comments are mostly from people he's helped, singing about how Nelson and Murdock saved them in their times of crisis. 

You want to trust them, but you can't.

The news also claimed Hitler was Person of the Year and deserved praise, too, and you know how that turned out. Not that you think a blind lawyer from Hell's Kitchen can be compared to a genocidal leader, but your mental point to yourself still stands. 

You know nothing about Matthew Murdock except he's blind, he's a lawyer, and his dick changed your life. 

You doubt he even remembers you - a one-night stand from years ago, before his name even started appearing in the news again, and to be fair, you didn't remember him at first, either. Not until four months later when you went in to get your anxiety medication adjusted and the doctor made you take a routine pregnancy test. Then you remembered the handsome blind lawyer who flirted with you at a friend's holiday party you had gone to. You could remember the silly conversation you had about white elephant, that he had the most charming smile, and he could do things with his tongue that made you moan just thinking about, but you could not remember his name. 

You had tried to find him, you really did, but your energy and attention was quickly needed elsewhere and the search for your daughter's father lost steam.

Until you saw him on the television while at the local diner, giving an interview with his law partner. 

That was yesterday and now you are standing outside the door of his firm, trying to work up the courage to go in. 

There's too many scenarios in your head, all of them bad- he's not going to want anything to do with you and your daughter, which you can deal with, or maybe, just maybe, he'll try to take her away from you. He's a lawyer and you work in billing for a transportation company. There's no doubt who the courts would choose and it wouldn't be you. 

The thought makes you want to turn and run but you know your daughter deserves the chance to know her father - and he deserves to know she exists. It's his choice, once he knows, if he wants to be in her life or not, not yours. 

It scares you so much it's not your choice. 

You scrub at your face, trying to work up the courage to actually open the door in front of you when it does just that. 

A kind looking woman with strawberry blonde hair is standing in the doorway and you recognize her from the firm's website - Karen Page. She's the third partner in the firm and you didn't really look into her in your hunt for information. 

She offers you a smile before speaking, "You look like you're debating coming in." You shrug, unsure what to say because that is exactly what you were doing but don't want to admit it. She looks you over without it feeling judgmental before focusing on the manila envelope in your hand. She steps back slightly and gestures for you to come into the office. "You made it this far. Whatever it is, we'll do our best to help you."

The sentiment is so kind and you know she means well, thinking you are a potential client, but it just causes your throat to get even tighter. 

It has been you and your daughter for so long, is this really the right path to take? 

You hug your file to your chest and take a hesitant step forward. Then another and another until you are in the office. It's not big or fancy and you didn't expect it to be. There's a little waiting area in front of the reception desk, with another desk shoved against a wall, and on either side of the room, doors leading to what you suspect are the private offices. 

Karen goes around to the back of the reception desk and picks up a clipboard holding some paperwork and offers it out to you.

You take it and stare down at it, unsure if you would fill it out or not. When you look back up, Karen is still smiling at you and you don't want to come off as a problem, so you take a seat in the waiting area and start filling out the requested information. As you write out your address, it finally occurs to you that you have no idea how to have the conversation you need to have.

Do you ease into it or drop it on him like a bomb? You had only ever thought about finding him and never about what you would say when you did.

You should have taken more time to plan this out. You're such an idiot - you just jumped right into running towards him like you might lose track of him if you took so much as a second to think. You know his name now, who he is, you can take time to get things sorted out properly.

Would it be weird to leave in the middle of filling out paperwork you shouldn't even be bothering with?

Probably not, but you're already here. There is no point in running. 

This is for your daughter, not you. You have to keep telling yourself that.

You don't fill out the information asking about your 'case'. It honestly makes you panic a bit if you start thinking about it all in a legal sense - you know nothing about law and the man you're meeting with graduated at the top of his class from a top law school. Your hand is shaking as you add your signature to the bottom of the page and date it. Reviewing everything takes just a moment, since there's barely anything written to begin with, and your eyes drift up to the logo at the top of the page.

Nelson, Murdock, and Page.

You trace it with your finger.

Matthew Murdock has to be a good man. This firm helps people and he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to help people. He graduated top of his class; he could work anywhere he wanted to. The papers said he is good, too - they win most of their cases. 

Unless it's all a weird front to hide something like money laundering. 

But if they were money launders wouldn't they have enough money to afford an air conditioner? 

"All done?" 

Karen is in front of you, smiling politely. You are surprised by her appearance, but you don't feel pressured. It's like she's checking in so that she can break you out of your thoughts and you appreciate that. You nod and hand her the clipboard. She takes it, giving it a once over.

"Foggy will be out in just a minute."

Your head jerks up at that.

"No, I need to see Mr. Murdock."

You can tell Karen is surprised by that and her eyes narrow just a fraction. She searches your face, then she looks towards the door on the left. 

You turn your head to follow her gaze. 

"Matt!" Karen calls out.

A few moments pass before the door opens and you feel like you're going to throw up. 

The cameras don't do him justice. 

Matthew Murdock is gorgeous. He was handsome before and somehow, he just got hotter. He's a little taller than you, still as lean as you remember, and looking crisp in a gray suit - like some model walked off the catwalk and into a sweltering office. His hair is shorter than you remember it being. You have the distinct memory of being able to grab onto it, but it's too cropped to do that now.

But the thing that catches your attention the most is that in person and in the light, you can see Matthew's hair has an auburn tint to it.

Just like Minnie's. 

The realization shakes your entire world. 

This man is the father of your child. He's real. He's no longer a concept of a person, who you knew nothing about, who just existed somewhere in the world. 

You have to look away before you start to cry. You don't know where this surge of emotion is coming from - it feels like this wave of relief. This question you have always had finally has an answer. 

You tell yourself to take a breath, you know getting overly emotional isn't going to help anything. It might actually make things worse and spiraling into a meltdown is not a good first impression.

You can see Karen in your peripheral vision, and you look up to her, trying to regain your focus.

It's Matthew who speaks first, "Yes, Karen?"

"We have a walk-in who is hoping she can speak with you." 

You introduce yourself, standing up as you do. You know he is blind, so you don't offer your hand. Instead you clutch your folder to your chest. 

He doesn't seem to remember your name. He turns towards you and gives a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Matthew Murdock, but you seem to know that. I have some time right now, please come in. Karen, can you grab us some water before you join us?"

"Yeah, sure," Karen says as she turns to do just that. 

Your throat gets tight again. 

You don't want to have this conversation with someone else there. It's already going to be hard enough. You'll definitely start crying if Karen is in the room. You cannot deal with two people's reactions. The mere thought of you having to do that is making you sweat. 

Matthew's voice breaks you out of your panic. "If that is okay?"

You rush out your response, "I would prefer to speak alone, please." You're too panicked to feel embarrassment. 

Karen doesn't seem phased by this. She is still grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and offering one out to you. You take it. 

"Not a problem, let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Kare. Please, come this way," Matthew motions for you to follow him into the office. 

This is it.

Once you go through that door, you aren't leaving that room without telling Matthew Murdock he is a father. 

You surprise yourself by not hesitating and just charging forward into the office. 

This isn't about you or your fears. 

This is for Minnie. 

You keep your gaze forward because you can't bring yourself to look at him. If you stop and look at him before you tell him why you are here, you will just start over analyzing everything once again. You silently beg to whatever gods will listen that everything will be okay, and this man won't destroy you. 

He doesn't look like he is going to break your heart. 

But you know that looks mean nothing when it comes to pain. 

He closes the door behind you with an audible click and the weight of the moment starts to come down on your shoulders.

You take the seat in front of the desk quickly, worried your nerves might catch up with you, placing the water on the ground beside you with your purse when you sit. Matthew doesn't rush, he walks to his desk with an air of quiet confidence and if you were a client, it would be comforting, but you aren't and all it does is remind you why you fell into bed with him. 

"What brings you in today, Miss..?" He trails off, prompting you to say your name again. As he reaches his desk you watch as he trails his fingers along the edge, using it as a guide, before moving his hand to brush over the back of his seat before sitting in it. 

You chew your bottom lip, wishing you had taken a second to actually plan what you would say instead of jumping in. As far as you know, there isn't a step-by-step guide on how to tell a one-night stand that he's the father of your child - not that you actually looked into that in your desperate research the night before. 

Matthew doesn't push as you gather your thoughts. He moves some paperwork away from the center of his desk, then folds his hands there, waiting. You keep your gaze on his hands, needing something to focus your eyes on while you force the truth out.

"I saw your interview last night," you say, deciding to start there, as it seems the most relatable.

Matthew's brows knit together and he tilts his head to the side and you are one again reminded of Minnie. It's a gesture she does often, tilting her little head left and right as she tries to understand something. It always reminded you of a dog and now you wonder if it's not a learned behavior, but genetic. 

His lips turn down into a frown and his head stays cocked as he asks, "Do you have information about the Lynch case?"

Heat rushes to your cheeks - of course that would be the question to ask after bringing up the interview. The whole piece was about a specific case they were working on and how it would affect Hell's Kitchen and you hadn't paid any attention to what was said - not after you realized who was on the screen. 

You shake your head, resisting the urge to look away and you curl your fingers tighter around the manila folder in your lap. "No, I'm sorry. I saw you and…recognized you."

He straightens up and his demeanor shifts to something less…friendly. It's minute but your messed-up brain screams at you about body language - his shoulders have squared up and you can see where he's clenching his back teeth. You quickly continue on, wanting to get through with your explanation before your anxiety makes you clam up.

"We met nearly five years ago," your voice is firm and factual and you're proud of yourself for that, "at a holiday party." 

The words leave your mouth and you know he knows. Every part of him seems to go still - even his breathing seems to stop. The crease between his brow smoothes out, like he's gone from squinting to wide eyes behind his dark glasses. Your heart is pounding in your ears and your throat is getting stiff, but your voice remains steady as you push the words out.

"I think you are the father of my child."

All the color seems to leave Matthew's face and he looks nearly as gray as his suit. The reaction makes your stomach turn. He looks like he is going to throw up. 

You bite into your lip, waiting for Matthew to do or say something. All you can do is mentally chant to yourself: he's a good man, he won't take her away.

You know it's probably just seconds, but it feels like hours pass before Matthew moves.

He leans slowly back in his chair, reaching up with one hand to rub at his mouth. 

"Are you sure?"

He doesn't sound upset, at least to your ears. His words are cautious - tentative - and it makes your heart go tight in your chest. You don't know if it's fear or hope or everything crashing into you at once now that he knows.

You force out a nod before you remember that the man in front of you is blind. You find your voice and words creep out.

"I'm pretty sure," you start. Your eyes drop away from his hands back down to your lap and you have to lick at your lips to wet them before continuing, "I didn't go out much after that party, I got so busy with work. I didn't…find out until the first trimester was over. By then, I couldn't remember your name. My friends who I went to the party with didn't know you either. I tried to Google you with what information I had, but 'blind lawyer' just got me a lot of disability lawyers." You take a shaky breath, "I understand if you want a paternity test."

You know Matthew is probably taking everything in, but now that you've started talking, it's like you've lifted the dam on your anxiety. You squeeze the file in your lap - just because you hadn't known how you were going to tell Matthew the truth did not mean you hadn't extensively thought about the consequences. Words start to spill out of you.

"I also understand if you don't want anything to do with us, I get it's a big shock. I'm not looking for anything from you." Matthew drops his hand to the desk and if you didn't know better, it would look like he was staring at you. "I just wanted you to know and I thought it would be good for her to know you, but if you don't want that, I get it. All I ask is you fill out some paperwork, medical history mostly so I know if there's anything I need to look out for. I printed it out for you, it's all in braille." 

You get up just enough so that you can place the manila envelope on the desk, then sit back down. Your throat is getting so tight and stiff you feel like you're struggling to breathe. 

Matthew runs his hand over his desk until he can feel the envelope. His fingers move along the edge and you stare at them, like they are going to be the one to reveal what Matthew is thinking instead of his mouth. He finds the lip but doesn't open, instead flattening his palm against it.

"...her?"

His voice is so quiet you barely hear it. You lift your head to finally look at him and your heart skips a beat.

Matthew looks so soft. The corners of his lips twitch a few times before a smile slowly spreads across his face. 

And you know.

You know without a doubt he is your daughter's father. They have the exact same smile. You can't help but to grin as well. 

This is good, isn't it? He looks Happy. 

"I have a daughter.."

"Winifred.. Winifred Love," you offer. Matthew lifts his head and tilts it towards you, brow wrinkling slightly.

"Love…?" He asks, no judgment in his voice, only curiosity. 

You close your eyes in a bit of embarrassment, as you always do during the story, "I meant to put Grace, but I was out of it. I even put a big heart next to it on the paperwork." You aren't ashamed of the story and you love your daughter's name, but it's always a 'oops I was high' moment, even if it was done with the purest intention. 

If possible, Matthew's smile gets even bigger. 

"Winifred Love," he says, his voice dropping back down to the barely there whisper. 

"She goes by Minnie. Like, um.. Like Minnie Mouse," you say. That gets an amused yet fond chuckle. You find yourself relaxing at the noise - like some of the pressure squeezing on your lungs has been lifted and you can finally breathe. 

He repeats her nickname and you feel your lips start to turn up. 

"How old..?" His voice cracks with emotion and Matthew has to clear his throat before continuing, "how old is she?"

"Three and a half," you answer quickly, "her birthday is a few months away." You bite your lip then hesitantly add, "She wants to go to the zoo. It's all she talks about."

"Yeah?" Matthew prompts. His smile is so so soft and it makes your stomach turn in this pleasant way. However, you were expecting him to act, this is not it. In your heart, you think the best you were going for was acceptance, but this seems much more than that. There is a stinging in the corner of your eyes and you have to take your own steadying breath continuing on.

"Yeah, um.. She…likes maps right now. I got her a map to the zoo and she's got the whole day planned." Which is very much true - your coffee table has been the home of a makeshift zoo diorama for a little over a week now and the itinerary has changed about twenty times. 

 Matthew ducks his head and nods a little, taking all the information in. You squeeze your fingers in your lap, needing a way to release the nerves still buzzing inside you. 

A few moments pass before Matthew clears his throat again, "What else does she like..?"

The question makes you chuckle just a little bit, only because gushing about your daughter is something you're very good at. Since you work at home, it is just the two of you ninety percent of the time, you don't get to coo over her very often.

"She loves arts and crafts - anything she can get her little hands on. Right now she loves pipe cleaners and paper, things she can bend and fold, you know? I set her next to me while working and she'll just fold paper into little shapes. Not origami or anything, just abstract things, she doesn't plan it. She always wants to help, too, whatever I'm doing. Cooking and cleaning. She is the best helper for grocery shopping." You pause, looking over Matthew's smile for a moment before continuing on, tears starting to gather in your eyes.

 "She looks just like you," you admit, fondness clear in your voice because it is so so true. Now that you are properly looking at him, Minnie looks just like Matthew, and telling him that makes him light up even more. "You've got the same smile. The same hair. Hers is a little more red, but it's definitely from you."

You watch Matthew lick at his lips and you want to know what is going on in his head. You think everything is going well, even if you are on the verge of crying. They are tears of relief - relief you weren't told to fuck off or to go get your own lawyer. You don't fully know if Matthew Murdock is a good man, but you're over the first hurdle and the prospects are looking good. 

Matthew leans back into his chair, inhaling deeply, as if centering himself, then asks, "Why now? Why find me now?"

"Like I said, I couldn't find you, I didn't know anything about you, really, except what you looked like and you were a lawyer. I did try, I really did, but…" you trail off with a shrug, "I had a newborn."

Matthew seems to accept that answer - it is the truth after all - and continues on, "But you saw the interview... Last night?"

You nod, "I was picking up some dinner and they were playing the news at the diner. I saw it and looked you up and now…now you know."

"Now I know…" Matthew repeats slowly, his smile dropping a little and you wonder if is hitting him in different waves, like it did you - the realization he is a father. You know it is an intense roller coaster and you are not going to try to guide his ride, especially after just kind of dropping it on him. 

He taps the manila folder in front of him, the crease returning to his brow, "What is this?"

Your cheeks get hot again and you turn your gaze away from him and back to your lap, "Requests for family medical history and information about how to establish paternity, if that's what you want."

"It is," Matthew rushes out. Your head jerks up and his expression looks serious, "I want that. I want to be in her life."

He sounds so sure of himself that it makes your head spin a little. You built up in your mind he either wouldn't want anything to do with you and Minnie or he was going to try to take her away - you hadn't really considered the obvious option that Matthew would just want to be involved. At least, that is what you are hoping he is implying. 

"I won't abandon my daughter," the conviction in his voice startles you, but it also makes your heart twist but in a good way because in that moment, you believe him. "And I won't abandon you. I used to question if I had the right to bring a child into my life, but this isn't a hypothetical anymore…. And I can't.." he trails off and leans back into his chair, rubbing at his mouth again. You don't press, you have no right to when you've come out of the blue and changed his entire world. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't step away now that I know she is out there." 

You quickly shake your head at his words, "You don't need to rush into anything, I mean it, I don't want anything from you but for you to have the chance to know her. We can go slow, she's still little, you know? She can't handle a big change. Start small?"

You're more worried about how he is feeling versus what you are. You have at least prepared yourself to have a reaction - he thought he would be having a normal work day and you've given him a lot to process in the last five minutes. 

"We can go at your pace, Matthew."

He drops his hand from his face, a smile coming back to his face, "You can call me Matt."

You repeat your preferred name, then apologize, "I'm sorry for coming out of nowhere. I didn't want to lose track of you again, but I could have scheduled an appointment."

Matt shakes his head a little, "No, I get it." His hand goes back to the envelope, like touching it is grounding him like squeezing your fingers is grounding you. "I'm glad you came…I'm glad…thank you. Thank you for telling me." 

Part of you wants to reach across the desk and squeeze his hand, to give him comfort and let him know everything will be okay, but you don't dare. He's still a stranger, despite everything. You decide pushing past the emotional to the practical might be the best approach for now. You need to get your anxiety to settle now that you know your world isn't going to end and the best thing for that, in your mind, is getting an action plan. 

"I don't know what the steps are for doing this," you start, trying to think up ideas as you talk, "but I think maybe we could…get together again and plan things out? Give you time to adjust to the idea and let you think about how you want to move forward?"

Matt nods along with your words, "That sounds like a good idea." 

You bend down to grab your phone out of your purse, "I put my contact information in the packet, but could I get yours?" 

He waits until you are ready, then gives you his personal number then the office number. You do the quick song and dance of calling his phone, so that he has your number and you wait patiently as he adds you as a contact. Hearing the voice commands to navigate a phone is new to you and once he is done putting in your information, you let your curiosity get the better of you.

"Do you prefer texting or phone calls?"

"Phone calls would be preferable," Matt says as he sets his phone on his desk, having held it up to speak clearly into it, "I have text to speech but it's not always the easiest for texting." 

You nod in understanding, "Got it." You squirm in your seat, unsure of what comes next, so you say the very first thing that comes to mind. "You can call anytime. I work from home so you don't have to worry about interrupting anything…like I'm doing with you."

He hums, then asks, "What does Minnie do during the day?" 

"She stays with me, mostly. There's a daycare down the block she goes to if I need someone to watch her. That's where she is now."

That makes Matt frown just slightly and part of you panics that he disapproves. "Is it just the two of you…?"

"Yes." 

You say it with confidence. You've worked hard to get where you are alone and despite all you've been through, you are proud of that. "My parents passed when I was in college and I don't have any siblings. We've managed to do pretty well on our own. It's not the biggest, but we have a little place in Chelsea."

The little frown stays and you don't know what it means - you hope it's over you not having a big support system and not something else. Matt looks like he is going to respond but a knock at the door cuts him off. You jump at the noise, having totally forgotten there were other people in the office. 

Matt looks slightly annoyed when he calls out, "Yes?"

The door opens and the final partner for the law firm is there. "Pardon the intrusion," he says to you with a nod before addressing Matt, "They've got that guy from last week at the 15th. He's asking for us specifically."

Matt openly scowls before running a hand over his face, "Okay. Give me a few minutes."

Foggy nods before stepping back out and closing the door.

"I'm sorry," Matt says sheepishly.

You cut him off before he can say more, standing as you do, "Please don't be, I really did just barge in on you at work. I can call you later? Or you can call me?" 

Matt gets up as well, starting to come around the desk, "I can call you." He hesitates just a second, then ducks his chin, that little smile reappearing and your heart does that funny flip again. "Maybe we can get lunch?"

You smile back, "I would like that. We can start planning." You bite your bottom lip, then add, "I can bring Minnie…?"

Matt's entire face lights up and the awkwardness of trying to end your talk evaporates. "I would like that. A lot." He motions to his desk, "I'll work on getting that back to you. I want to…I want to do this right." 

"I do, too." 

It feels like a promise. You want to believe Matt - that he wants this and won't disappear at the first minor inconvenience. You've read so many horror stories about bad parents and you don't want any of that for Minnie. 

You grab your purse and the water Karen gave you, then finally give Matt a proper look over. 

You enjoyed your night together with him. Not only had he been a phenomenal lover, but he had made you smile and laugh. You weren't nearly as anxious then as you are now, but you had been rather nervous being flirted with by a handsome lawyer and he had made you feel at ease. Bringing him home with you had been an easy choice. 

He must sense you smiling somehow, maybe you giggled or something, but his smile, which had started to fall, brightens back up.

"Can I ask you something before you go?" 

You nod to his question, catch yourself and reply, "Of course."

"Can you tell me what she looks like?"

Guilt courses through you and biting your lip turns painful, "I'm so sorry, of course. Um, I included pictures in the packet with descriptions but, of course." His face drops into something a little nervous so you launch into the description of your daughter, emphasizing how they have the same smile because you can’t get over that. You can't help yourself and start describing some of the pictures you included.

"She has this big noise canceling headband so she can sleep comfortably - she doesn't like loud noises - but because she is three, she refuses to wear it unless it's cute. So we crochet little sleeves for it. One of the pictures is her asleep on our couch, face down, because that's how she sleeps, wearing her favorite sleeve. It's Spider-Man the-"

There's a quick series of taps on the door before it opens again.

"Buddy, we gotta go."

You start to apologize, but Matt speaks over you, his voice a little firm as his expression drops, "I'll be right there, Foggy."

A silent conversation seems to go through them, as Foggy raises his eyebrows at Matt and Matt does the same right back. Foggy steps out of the office, closing the door behind him. 

"Let me walk you out?" Matt asks, motioning to the door.

"Thank you." 

You let him open the door and you follow him into the reception office. Foggy is looking at his phone while waiting by Karen's desk as she finishes packing her laptop. You cross the room in silence as Matt leads you from the office. Once you are in the hallway, he speaks to you in a soft voice.

"Can I call you tonight?"

"Yes, please." 

"Does eight work?"

"That's perfect." 

"I'll talk to you then."

You force yourself to be the one to turn away and start walking towards the stairs. As you get to them, you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to try to suppress your smile.

Maybe the papers are right and Matthew Murdock is a good man. 

You really hope he's a good father too.

[satorusugurugurl]

I Think He Knows: (Chapter Six)

Summary: When your novel takes off and becomes a best seller, doors of opportunities open for you. You can work on the series you have dreamed about all your life. And you’re also given the chance to stay in a tiny cottage in Europe for two years to help with inspiration! Your best friend, Geto Suguru, shatters at the news. How could he tell you how he feels when you leave him? His opportunity appears right before him when you confess that your editor thinks a change of scenery will help with your not-so-steamy romance scenes. They’re lacking a particular spice because you’re a virgin. So, Suguru does what any best friend would do. He offers to teach you how things work. Will you cross that line as friends? Or will you both say goodbye?

Pairing: Geto Suguru x FAB!Reader

Word Count: 4,964

Warning: Language, suggestiveness, rql sex (male receiving) grinding, neck kisses, dry humping, mentions of character death,night terror, blood, mentions of PTSD, anxiety

A/N: Man oh man what a silly fluffy slice of life spicy series we got! It would be a shame if something happened 😀—😈

*MDNI*

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven

Think that you were an easy-going person who got along well with everyone. Generally, you were easy-going unless someone fucked you over, then you were a bit salty. Manami Suda Was the only exception. You could not stand her guts. She would be the only person he would gladly hit with your car.

“Manami,” you spit back, crossing your arms over your chest. “Suguru is expecting me.”

“Mm, he didn’t mention anything to me. You would assume he would make his schedule.”

“Ha, funny, let me in.”

“Huh,” she purses her red-painted lips together. “Let me check with my client and see if he’s available. We’re both swamped.”

You roll your eyes, pushing open the door, poking your head. “Suguru, call your Hellhound off.” Manami presses herself to the side, trying to block you from getting further inside the apartment.

“Geto is busy at the moment, but he’ll call you later.”

“Busy my ass Suguru!!”

Upon hearing you call his name again, Suguru headed out of his makeshift studio. He was covered in different blue paint hues, smeared on his forearm and cheek. His eyes darted between you, trying to force your way inside before back at his agent, who was fighting against your attempts. Dark ice glitter with the amusement at how you were putting all your effort into trying to squeeze past her

“Manami, let her in.” He finally said with a chuckle. “Before she starts gnawing at the door frame.”

“Ha!” Manami sidestepped again just as you tried pushing yourself inside, resulting in you falling face forward with the yelp dropping the groceries.“Geto called you a termite.”

Wincing, you sat up, rubbing your chin. Suguru had better put an ad online for a new agent because his current one was about to disappear without a trace. “But she’s the cutest termite in the whole world.” The bluntness and flirty tone of his voice had both you and Manami glancing at him as he headed into the kitchen.

Since when did he start calling you cute around other people? That was usually something someone said about their partner, right? Not their best friend. More importantly, why the hell did you love it?

Manami was too stunned to speak as she gaped at her client before looking back at you. You felt her eyes on you, so you didn't know what any mature adult your age would do. You glanced back up at her and smiled as wide as you could before sticking your tongue out at her. She glared, nose pinching up in annoyance as she flipped you off with her sharp, manicured nails. To which you shot back, flipping her off with both hands as you sat up on your knees.

“Girls.” hearing Suguru call you both out stopped the childish faces and the middle fingers, but no amount of tone, yelling, or godly power could prevent the glaring daggers you gave each other.

“We’re fine, Geto.”

“Yeah, Suguru!”

“You shouldn't use his name so freely!”

“Oooh~ last time I checked, I’ve been his best friend for over a decade!”

Manami clenched her fists together. “Yes, I am aware of that. You make it a point to remind me of that every time I see you.” You stood up, putting the groceries in the kitchen before flopping onto the couch.

“Because you act like I should be courteous and cold to him! I've known him longer than you. So kiss my ass.”

“Geto!” Manami barked, her hair flowing as she looked into the kitchen. “Do you hear the way she's talking to me?”

Your eyes focused on the way Suguru washed paint off his arms. His hands brushed back stray dark strands of hair behind his gauged ears. “Manami, if you just let her in, she wouldn’t be in such a mood.” A certain pleasure settled in your stomach. “She’s always welcome in my apartment whether I’m working or not, you know that.” For some reason, your stomach twisted, and heat pooled between your legs as he told her pretty much to fuck off.

Suguru heard the faintest whimper from the direction of the living room. Looking through his lashes, he smirked, seeing your flushed face. God, you were so easy to rile up. For once in his career, he wanted to shove his agent out and pin you against the sofa. He wanted to pry open your thighs that were pressed together open. Desperate to see if you were as wet as you were a few days ago at breakfast. God Suguru wanted to taste you again, to make you cry on his tongue.

His cock twitched, and he realized now might not be the best time to be sporting a boner in the presence of professional company. So he turned the water in the sink to cold and threw it on his face. There would be a time to get a bit more intimate later. He needed to keep his composure and not eat you out with his agent in the room.

“Fine, but we aren’t done discussing business.”

“I know.”

You watched from the couch, noticing the annoyed look in Suguru’s eyes, and Manami stepped forward. “The aquarium called again; they want to know if you—”

“No.”

“Geto—”

“I said no.”

The aquarium? You blinked, sitting up and tilting your head. Did it have to do with his most recent painting of Riko?

Manami sighed, pulling her phone out. “They increased their offer for you to do the commission.”

Suguru was exceptionally talented. His paintings of dragons, creatures, and sceneries had gone viral in high school, earning him a full ride to art school. He was selling paintings, being commissioned, thriving, and getting paid to do what he loved. He, of course, had rules for commissions he took on from strangers and whatnot, but to deny an aquarium wasn’t like him.

“No,” Suguru repeated more firmly.

“You’d only be—”

A loud crash causes you and Manami to jump as Suguru throws his cup of paintbrushes into the sink. “Manami, no. That’s my final answer.” It was rare for Suguru to get pissed; he was usually well-tempered. So, for him to snap like that was out of character and meant he didn’t want to do whatever she had set up for him.

Manami sighed, grabbing her phone off the kitchen counter and shoving her cell phone inside. “I know it’s a reminder of the past, but it’s good money.” She slid expensive name-brand sunglasses on before turning on her heels with a strut in her step. “Think about it; I’m not sending the denial letter yet.” Without another word, she left the apartment, slamming the door shut behind her.

“Well,” you started, pouting as you hummed, “she is a peach.”

“Yeah.” Suguru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck before focusing his undivided attention on you. “So, uhm, what’s on the menus for dinner? I can help?” He grabbed the brown paper bags, beginning to unload them without another word.

You didn’t mean to pry about what was going on in his life. You knew him better than you knew himself at times. So, he would tell you if he wanted to talk about what was happening. The only time you got involved with what was happening during his work, you were utterly concerned about him and his well-being. So instead of saying anything, you just not at your head as the two of you made dinner together.

But the entire time we both stood in the kitchen silently in tune with each other, your mind kept drifting off to what exactly he was asked to paint. It seemed a little strange that he was asked to paint something at the aquarium, and his current canvas depicted Riko at the aquarium in Okinawa before the accident. That might be triggering his current nightmares, along with the fact that he has never truly forgiven himself for the accident that wasn’t his fault at all.

You knew he blamed himself for what happened. He wasn’t fast enough to push Riko out of the way when the car approached them. He saw her like a little sister. Watching the life fade from her eyes while he was fighting for his own life would traumatize anyone.

That sort of trauma never leaves. It lingers forever, which it had for your best friend. After the accident in her death, he started seeing a therapist every week. He’s on severe anxiety and depression medication, and for a while, his artwork took a very dark turn. He wouldn’t see anyone. He lost a ton of weight but always insisted that he was fine, just tired.

It wasn’t until he snapped when his nieces Nanako and Mimiko were in a car accident themselves that he lost all of his composure. he broke down having a mental episode. He nearly beat the ever-loving shit out of the man that caused the accident. The man had been remorseful, paying for everything from the car to the medical bills for the girls, but that wasn’t good enough for Suguru. He wanted to make him pay for what he had done. In a way, he saw it as the driver that caused Riko’s accident to pay for the pain the two of them went through.

Suguru was lucky enough to have you and your mutual friends by his side. All of you helped him get the help that he needed. You were there when he needed to talk or was having a rough day. That was one of the many reasons you both lived in the same apartment complex. He felt safe around you. Suguru knew he was with you. He was seen for who he was and for not being the man who couldn’t save his friend's life.

Despite it not being his fault at all.

And well, he had healed over the years,

Like anyone else living with that kind of trauma, he had his good days and his bad days from his sleeping over, insomnia, and how he reacted to Manami pushing him to do the mural at the aquarium. He was having a rough week.

After eating a delicious home-cooked meal and cleaning the kitchen, you sat on the couch, staring blankly at the television as Suguru gently ran his hand up and down your thigh. Some thriller played in the background; at this point, it was mindless background noise as your mind reeled, trying to think of what to say.

Your silence and uptight demeanor had Suguru’s dark eyes darting towards you every few seconds. There was something on your mind, something he knew you were contemplating saying. But much like you, he wasn’t one to pry. He knew in the last decade that you were upfront with him whenever you wanted to talk about an issue. But from the shyness in your touch to how you kept looking at him, he figured that maybe you wanted to make a move or ask him to teach you something new.

God, you were just so cute and shy. He wanted you to feel comfortable, to tell him what you wanted. But at the same time, he knew you. There was no way you would be upfront and ask home to do stuff with you or ask him to teach you more things. Until you were ready, he would have to continue making suggestions or ask how you felt and what you wanted to do.

Giving your thigh a gentle squeeze, your eyes dart in his direction. “Did you get all your rewrites done for Utahime? How did the meeting with her go?” Your face lit up.

“Oh, it went well; she loved what I had! She said my writing has improved.”

“That’s great! Do you get any time off? Like to relax that big brain of yours?”

With a pout, you collapsed into his side with a huff. “No, she wants the next chapter in two weeks. So I have to write it, have Nanami read it, edit it, and then I can send it to her.” The feeling of Suguru’s hand leaving your thigh left a trail of goosebumps in its wake as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Oh, well—do you need help with the next chapter? Or are there fewer spicy scenes in this one?”

You scoff, resting your chin on his upper arm. “That’s what you bookworms call sex scenes in books, right; spicy scenes?”

“Awee~ you do listen.”

“I listen when it’s you.”

You resist the urge to kiss him, opting for blushing instead. “Uhm, right! Yeah, so—“ you clear your throat, “it’s more plot than spice, but I’m not opposed to—ya’ know, adding spice.”

This was your way of telling him you wanted more without outwardly saying it. This was keeping your friendship safe. Besides, just because you didn’t use it in this chapter didn’t mean you wouldn’t use it in the future!

Suguru was slightly disappointed when you first said there were no spicy scenes in this current chapter. He felt like you did, not wanting to ruin your friendship. But to hear you say that you weren’t opposed to adding spice to your current chapter and all the worries and disappointment vanished. Suguru hummed, putting his hand behind his head and slowly licking his lips as he watched you sit up.

“Oh really now?”

“Mhmm~ I just don’t know what to add~ maybe you—” You slid your fingers down his ab’s, gently sliding them underneath the hem of his shirt. Your manicured nails gently ran over his happy chill, making Suguru twitch in anticipation. “Do you have a suggestion for what I could add to this chapter?”

“Mmm, well, you could always have Oaklynn go down on Ilsan, or you could have them dry hump or grind.”

You toyed with the waistband of his sweat, biting your lip as you felt his cock twitch, growing harder the more you rubbed the band. Your eyes were so focused on his pants that Suguru could hear the thundering of his heartbeat in his ears, his stomach filled as you looked up, meeting his gaze. He swallowed hard at the lustful need burning in your eyes. It’s hard to believe you had never been kissed a week ago, and now you were playing with his waistband to his sweats so suggestively?

What the fuck was this life?

“Sugu—can I touch you?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

With his consent, you tugged his sweats down to rest over the top of his thighs, finding a tent in his boxers. There was something oddly satisfying about seeing the way your touch affected him. You knew his body was probably reacting naturally to an intimate touch. Part of you wish this might be more than a physical reaction deep down inside. But that was ludicrous because he was helping you out.

But maybe it could turn into something more you wouldn’t oppose.

“You’re already hard.” You said with a blush, your hand gently brushing over the hardening shaft in his boxers.

“What can I say? I have my beautiful best friend touching me.”

“Can this beautiful friend return the favor from the other day?”

Subaru chokes on his spit as you gently talk the band of his boxers down. If you want to, that shouldn’t be an issue. But you don’t have to return the favor! The cutest pout graces your lips as you reach out gently, grabbing his shaft and squeezing it. “Ooooh, fuck—”

“Oh! Sorry, did that hurt? I was trying to be a bit more confident!”

“N-No, it felt really good.”

“Oh! Okay, uhm—” You bite your lip in concentration, trying to mimic the moves. He had done when he first jerked off in front of you. “I want you to feel good.”

Subaru could not believe you were saying this. The same girl that hadn’t had an orgasm in her entire life less than a week ago. Was now stroking his cock with confidence in your eyes! There was no way he would ever extinguish that burning lust in your eyes. He would encourage you to do what you wanted if you were comfortable doing this because he would be lying to himself if he said that he hadn’t dreamed about something like this happening for as long as he could remember.

“The, by all means, feel free to keep going; it feels fucking great. Unless you need me to help tell you what to do?”

“No, I think I got this.” You pulled your hair back before situating yourself in between his legs, holding his shaft close to your mouth. “Just sit back and relax, okay?”

“Okay.”

Suguru watched with bated breath as you slowly leaned down. Your eyes were focused on his before your tongue darted out, kitten licking his tip. The man lost his shit right there. Suguru threw his head back, grunting as his eyes rolled back in pleasure. Fuck, it felt good mentally and physically. Finally, have you been doing the things he had imagined doing since he was a teenager? It was better than he could’ve imagined. God, he wasn’t going to last long.

His tip's salty yet sweet taste made you more eager to take him in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around relishing in the sounds that escaped your best friends mouth. One of his hands gripped the back of his sofa while the other grabbed his shirt, tugging it tight. He looked so hot when drowning in pleasure; seeing him like that gave you a confidence boost. You had never done this before, but you had read plenty of erotic novels, and you knew how to eat a popsicle. Putting both of them together gave you an idea of what to do.

While his chest heaved up and down, eyes shut tight, you took the whole head of his cock into your mouth you hummed. That action alone made Suguru’s hips buck up with a whine. His thrusting, pushing his cock against the back of your throat, made your eyes water as you gagged around him. Almost instantly, Suguru pulled back out, sitting up on his elbows to look down at you with concern etched into his features.

“Fuck Princes, I’m sorry! Are you sorry?”

“Mhmm!” You hummed around him, making his jaw clench at the vibrations around him.

“F-Fuck—haaah—fuuuuck.” His hand slowly slid down, tangling in your hair, not forcing you down his shaft further. He just held onto you. “Fuck—”

You can’t help but stare up at him. The way his jaw drops, his eyes narrowing as they darken with lust. Watching him slowly lose himself to the pleasure had you squirming. You could feel yourself getting wet as the heat began to pool between your legs, urging you to keep going, to take him further into his mouth. So you did; inhaling through your nose, you took more of your best friend into your mouth, gagging slightly as he slid further down into your throat.

Suguru was utterly losing himself in the sensation of being buried in your mouth. I was so wet and tight, and you knew what you were doing. Despite being a virgin and never having a boyfriend, Suguru was thoroughly impressed with how well you were taking him. Your lips around his thick fat cock, taking him down your throat, had him teetering on the edge of his release like he was a virgin.

He dropped his arm off the back of his couch, covering his eyes. What the hell was happening to him? Why was it he could barely compose himself when he was around you?

You always had that effect on him. “Fuuuck—shit—” His fingers gently scratched your scalp as you took him deeper, bobbing your head up and down, making his cock wet with your saliva and his pre-cum. “Fuck~ you’re doing such a good job, pretty girl~ so good.” A rosy blush dusted Suguru’s cheeks as his chest heaved faster, the muscles in his abdomen twitching from the pleasure.

Pulling off his cock, you slowly lick the underside of it right against the vein. He had grazed when he would touch himself. The most sensitive part of his cock. A hiss passed through his lips while his hands remained tangled in your hair. You grinned, pressing gentle kisses over him, nibbling on the soft skin before your kitten looked at the leaking slit.

“Could you maybe— fuck my throat?”

If you hadn’t been squeezing his bass when you were, Suguru was afraid that he might cum all over your hand at your request. “W-What seriously?” Your request was not entirely out of left field. It still left him in stunned silence.

“Yeah, Ilsan is a bit rough, so I wanted to see what it was like?” When in reality, you just wanted to see him lose all of the control he was barely grasping.

“I can do that, but if it gets too intense, just tap my thigh, okay?”

You opened your mouth to respond, only to have Suguru grab onto your hair with both his hands and force his cock into your mouth. “M-Mmmphm!” as he slid his shaft over your tongue and down the back of your throat with a gentle thrust.

“Fuck yeah, Princess~ god, you must feel so fucking good~” he pulled his shaft out of your mouth, just about to hit the back of your teeth before he slammed back into you, making you gag as he hit the back of your throat. “Nngh! Shit~ ooooh fuckin’ hell, that’s so good.”

“Mmm! Mmmhpm! Mmm!” You cried out each time his cock slid in and out of your mouth, making a mixture of drool and pre-cum leak out the sides of your mouth, dribbling down your chin and onto the couch beneath you.

“Oooh god—oooh fuck—haaaah!” A low moan sounds deep in your best friends chest. He lifted his head, watching his tears weld in your eyes, streaming down your cheeks, a trail of mascara left on your pretty, beautiful cheeks. “Fuck—Princess, I’m going to—I’m gonna cum. Wh-Where do you—nngh!”

Upon hearing his orgasm was approaching him, you grabbed both of his thick thighs, squeezing them as you moved in tandem with his hand. Your head up and down as fast as you could without making yourself gag more. Your eyes were transfixed solely on him as tears blurred your vision. Suguru knew where you wanted him to cum—and it was down your throat.

“F-Fuck—I-I’m cu-cumming! Cumming!”

Spurts of his hot cum that had covered your hand days before now filled your willing mouth. It was salty but also strangely sweet. That might be because Suguru was always eating healthy and making sure to eat plenty of vegetables and fruit. You’d have to thank him for that later; right now, all you could focus on was how good he tasted all over your tongue.

You swallow every drop, only pulling away when Suguru’s grip on your hair loosens and rests on your head, gently stroking your hair back. He was grinning drunkenly as he watched you lick your lips, smiling down at him as you fixed his sweats. Once you were done, he yanked you down to rest on his chest as he continued to caress you with his hands gently.

“Are you sure you’ve never done that?” The tone of his voice was stern. “Because holy shit, you sucked the soul out of my dick.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, snuggling into his chest as you rested your chin on his sternum, watching him closely. “Yep, I’ve never done that.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath as he did. “Did I do a good job?”

“I just said you sucked my soul out of my cock; yes, you did a phenomenal job, Princess.”

You smiled sweetly, losing yourself in his stare as he leaned down to kiss you softly. For the briefest moments, you stiffened, but you found yourself melting into his kiss with a happy hum. This was the perfect way to research for your book.

That was the sort of way things went about for two weeks. Grinding, making out, oral sex, and nothing between you changed, aside from the constant need to be around each other. You both had been close before, but now you were practically inseparable.

Weekends were spent together, meals were shared as you worked together, or Suguru sketched in your apartments while you wrote at his place. Not only did your work improve during this change, but you could also see a change in Suguru. He looked less tired, wasn’t having any more nightmares, and just seemed genuinely happy.

God, what a time to be together.

A time where you were closer and happier. Things felt so good, and the more time you spent together, the more you began to worry less about your book and focus more on your relationship. You created different scenarios for your characters to spice things up for your ‘research.’ And you knew deep down that Suguru knew it was a bullshit excuse to hook up. You could see it in the way his dark eyes would twinkle with mischief before he agreed to do whatever you requested with no questions asked.

“Fuck!” You gasped out as Suguru ground him against your clothed sex. His hands were hooked under your knees, spreading them as he sensually ground to the low R&B playing through the speakers. “Fuuuck~ that feels good.”

“Heh—yeah, it does.” His lips attached to your neck sucking and kissing on the sensitive skin. “You always feel good~ so good~.”

You ran your hands through his dark hair, holding his mouth against your neck. “Please don’t stop.” He grunted, eyebrows knitting together as you whimpered his name.

Suguru’s fingers dug into your thighs, bucking faster, not intending to stop at all. Instead, he moved faster, making you cry out, tugging on the dark strands as she sucked on, leaving several hickies against your skin. God, he could get used to this. Domestic shit, making dinner, but losing yourselves in grazing touches and kisses on cheeks. Leaving the bell peppers on the cutting board uncut and the steak sitting in the fridge. The corkscrew was still embedded in the unopened bottle of wine as you ground against each other, inching closer and closer to sweet release.

“Suguru~ hah—“ your hands grip his shoulders, holding them tight as he grinds hard, faster, “c-close!”

Somehow, Suguru pulled his lips off your neck, allowing him to press his forehead against yours. “Yeah~ gonna cum, Princess~? Gonna cream your panties~?” You lean in, bringing down his bottom lip as you rock against him, matching his movements and speed.

“Yes~ I-I’m so close!”

“Then do it~ cum for me~” he kisses you deeply as he grinds faster and faster until you both are crying out against moving lips, eyes shut tight as waves of your orgasm wash over you. “Oooh fuck~!”

“Fuuuck~ fuck!” You cry out, feeling your panties grow wetter and wetter. “Oh my god, Sugu~” you pant against his kiss-swollen lips while he lazily nods.

“Yeah, shit.” He grumbles with a moan.

“I need to borrow some boxers or sweats.”

“Yeah? You make a mess?”

He teases you with a peck to your cheek as he gently releases his hold on your legs, helping you off his counter. “Yeah, no thanks to you.”

“Oh please, you’re as much to blame for this as me.”

Suguru presses another kiss against your cheek. “I’ll take the blame, but I’ll start on dinner if you want to go raid my closet for sweats.” The glimmer in your eyes had your best friend gently flicking your forehead. “Just sweats, none of my hoodies, dork.” That statement had you pouting as Suguru gently slapped your ass, pushing you forward.

“No fair.”

“Life ain’t fair; your notebook is on the dresser if you need to write notes.”

You give him a thumbs up as you head into his room, ignoring the glittery notebook and heading straight for the closet instead. The more often nights like this occurred, the more you didn’t care about taking notes or jotting down ideas. Instead, you find yourself wanting to spend every waking moment with Suguru.

Notebook aside, you stripped out of your clothes, folding them up, before grabbing a pair of his baggy gray sweats as his phone buzzed on his nightstand. Glancing down at the screen, you resisted the urge to gag as you saw Manami’s name appear.

“Eeew, Sugu, the troll you call an agent, is texting you!” You grab his phone, unlocking it as you return to the kitchen. The sound of chopped vegetables echoed off the walls as Suguru looked up at you. “Want me to read you what she said?”

“Yeah, it’s probably about this client she found.”

Opening the chat, you pull out the barstools at his breakfast bar before him and clear your throat. “Geto, the new client, loved the sketch you submitted, and he would like to proceed with the next steps for the painting to be done. He has paid in advance.” Suguru did a little fist bump before he slid the peppers into a sizzling pan. “I also wanted to discuss the offer from the Amanai Foundation. They will pay for our room and board for the four months we’ll be in Okinawa finishing the aquarium piece.”

The spatula falls from his hand as he turns to you, staring into your wide eyes and pale complexion staring at the phone. You blankly stare at the message as big tears form in your eyes. Suguru watchI in horror as tears stream down your cheeks.

“What does she mean you two are going to Okinawa for four months together?”

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[northopalshore]

Northopalshore's

24/25 Solar Return

Observations

It's my birthday! (21 dec), I thought about writing predictions for myself based on my SRC every year just as a marker that the year is ending & a new one will commence shortly. Are you finally the person you've been striving to be?

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

𝄞 Capricorn rising (17°)

I'll be busy this year, focused on my work and goals. I'll aim to be very productive this year! To be more responsible & act more mature. Taking in a lot of responsibilities. Though, with that Leo degree I may be gaining a lot of attention for my work or competence. An "examplementory" character.

𝄞 Pluto (0°) & venus (15°) in 1st H aquarius

Another glow up! I could lose a lot of visible weight this year, and I could refine my aesthetics or perfect my makeup as well. Since they're in aquarius, it's likely I'll be standing out with the way I look or dress this year. I've been really itching to get a tattoo too. I don't give a fuck that we aren't supposed to lol.

𝄞 Aquarius 2nd H, Saturn in 2nd H/Uranus in 4th H

Venus aquarius (gemini) square uranus Taurus (aquarius °)

• unusual spending habits (i.e being very stingy with something yet spending a lot on other stuff)

• finances could be quite unpredictable this year i.e I won't be able to expect when I need to use money/ unexpected events. I'll could earn a lot of money for something unexpected, or just work odd jobs/online, by doing something I don't usually do or have never expected to do

• dressing differently than others around me

• people talking about how I look very 'unique'

𝄞 Venus 1st house square uranus in 5th house

An unexpected relationship? Or an unexpected love interest. I could be attracting a lot of borderline unwanted romantic attention. (Venus in aquarius squaring uranus in taurus)

𝄞 Fama (10° Capricorn), saturn (13° Aries) in 2nd H pisces

• gain more attention through aesthetics

• getting attention for care in expenses

• being frugal/ disciplined with finances

• spending/earning money on/from esoteric stuff

• hard time controlling money ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

• if I start offering my services, I might get a lot of traction/clients, but it might be more than I can handle if I don't put up any limits/restrictions

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) in 3rd H pisces

• talking on social media

• speaking with a dreamy gentle tone

• I might lose my train of thought quite often TT

• talking about esoteric knowledge/ metaphysical

• bursts of creative writing

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) trine mars in 7th house

Working on or creating art, music, writing with a partner. Could also mean learning or talking about the occult with someone closely. Could be creative projects with partners/coworkers/friends. Working well in collaborative projects.

𝄞 North node (2°taurus), chiron (19°) in 3rd H aries

• focus on communication/learning

• communication & mental fatigue

• feeling burdened by the amount of work that has to done

• feels like I have to juggle my intellect between a lot of events

•. feeling rushed with projects or events concerning writing or speaking

• having a lot of ideas, offering a service related to writing, thinking, communicating (literally signaling that I'll be starting private readings lmaoo)

𝄞 4th H in aries, mars (r) in 7th H

• living situation feels rushed, combative, competitive

• independent home life, living alone, switching housemates

• arguments amongst the people I live with, being outside more often

• reflecting approach to relationships

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊

𝄞 Uranus retrograde (23° Aquarius) in 5th H taurus

• rethinking what brings excitement to me

• thinking of picking up strange hobbies

• unexpected love interests

𝄞 Jupiter retrograde (14°taurus) in 5th H gemini

• reshaping what truly brings value and joy especially in love life, being more careful with love interests

• getting a lot of new experiences

𝄞 6th H gemini, mercury in 11th H:

• making a lot of new friends online

• popularity amongst coworkers

• gaining a lot of diverse friends

• doing daily activities w friends

• talking a lot during work

• creative collaborations

• working online more, posting more

𝄞 Groom (4° cancer) retrograde in 6th H cancer

Working with future spouse but it also counts if I'm doing something related to him on a daily basis. In my case, I think I'll be writing about him but also longing for him (hah!). Longing to be next to him. Even if I meet him this year, I don't think we'll be able to spend much time face to face with eachother because of distance or work. Our routines may clash.

𝄞 Descendant in cancer (17° leo), moon in 8th H

• feeling safe & comfort within relationships

• harmonious relationships

• changes in relationships

• possible crushes, secret relationships

𝄞 Briede (8° Scorpio) in Sagittarius 11th house squaring moon (8° Scorpio) in Virgo 8th house

I could learn (realize) something quite hard about my love life (more specifically life as a wife). Perhaps it will be harder than I thought it would be. I might have to sacrifice a lot for it.

𝄞 Briede (8° scorpio) conjunct mercury in 11th house

I could be learning more about myself as a wife online, or through purchasing esoteric services. People could also gossip about me or my relationship this year. Could be online, could be my social circle as well. However, it's likely I'll just be the one yapping about the Briede (19029) asteroid/persona chart a lot next year.

𝄞 Mars (4° cancer) retrograde in 7th H leo

Getting secret admirers, my love life could be quite difficult. Perhaps my future spouse and I will be butting heads or have a few arguments. However, since it's retrograde I think rather than being mad at eachother we'll be frustrated with our situation. That is, if we do "meet".

On the other hand, it also means indirect confessions, or having to take the leadership role/compromise a lot in joint collaborative work i.e assignments.

𝄞 Mars opposite pluto in 1st house

If this concerns my FS, we could have disagreements on whether our relationship should be public or not, our relationship could also effect our images greatly whether good or bad, or both.

If not, then this means I'll be taking on more work than I'm supposed to this year, finding it difficult to let things go as is, or some group members may be rather negligent of their tasks, forcing me to decide what to do.

𝄞 7th house ruler in 8th house

A secret relationship? Something scandalous could be happening in my love life. Since it's Cancer/moon, I could be keeping a lot of my feelings about this person a secret. Our relationship could be kept a secret as well. Could be a karmic relationship.

𝄞 8th H in leo, sun in 12th H (29°leo)

• nightmares could be possible perhaps due to exhaustion

• deep introspection of self

• reshaping how I attract attention

• choosing to be alone, do my own thing

• having to keep a lot of secrets

• I might travel on my own this year

𝄞 Moon (8° Scorpio), vertex (15° gemini) in 8th H virgo

• the way I think & process emotions will be transformed

• fated transformation/death/rebirth

• feelings are more intense this year

• lots of fast, sudden, "unexpected" new beginnings

𝄞 9th H in virgo, mercury in 11th H

• travelling with friends

• travelling for studies

• documenting travels

• planning travels

• working with friends

𝄞 POF (26°Taurus) in 9th H virgo

Perhaps I'll have good luck with my assignments. I'll be very focused and lucky when it comes to my studies. I'll be very hard working, and that hard work will be paid off.

𝄞 Lilith (19° Libra) 9th H in libra

There may be some issues with traveling alone. I might have to be moving around alone a lot even if I'm not comfortable with it. There might be some disagreements or slight dissatisfaction when it comes to studies or friendships.

𝄞 10th H in libra (23°aquarius ), venus in 1st H

• harmonious work

• popularity in work

• self focused work

• attracting more attention in general

• something about my relationship/love life could be highlighted or very prominent, a relationship could be revealed as well

• being an "IT" girl

• working on social media? Doing something I've never done before, getting attention for it

𝄞 Union (24° pisces) & Juno (15° gemini) Scorpio in 10th house:

Working with future spouse. Meeting through my work..? Meeting through my blog? Lmao. Honey are you reading this?! I don't see myself working with him on his career (at least not yet), perhaps he'll be reading my posts (writing) online and not notice it's me at first. This makes the most sense to me at the moment but it's just a theory though.

Note: SRC union conjuncts my natal union, SRC Pluto conjunct natal Juno, SRC Uranus conjunct natal Briede in the 3rd house, SRC Chiron (retrograde ) conjunct natal Boda.

There seems to be something significant about my love life but it looks like I'll also be rather weary of it at first. Perhaps I'll be contemplating on what I truly need or believe about my FS, things may feel rather rushed, and I might start having second thoughts about how things will progress. I think so especially because both SRC Chiron & natal Boda are in Aries. A lot of second-guessing may occur. A lot of procrastinating for some reason.

𝄞 Vesta (24° pisces) Libra 10th house:

I'll be making a lot of new connections, friends and relationships. Most of my new friends/acquaintances are ( and will be) from different states & even countries. Our relationship will likely be very harmonious or mostly harmonious. We will share the same goal or drive. Meeting new acquaintances through my blog perhaps?

𝄞 11th house in scorio, pluto in 1st house

• posting more online

• being more popular online

• transforming online identity

• transformation social circles

Something shocking about me could be revealed to my close circles, or even on my blog. The blog might come under scrutiny this year as well, with people suddenly flocking in to either disagree with my posts or just people looking into my blog more (usually with an intent to dig some dirt or information about me). This could also cause a lot of discomfort or discourse trying to continue something I've been doing or even cause a shift in the way I approach something.

𝄞 12th H in Sagittarius, jupiter retrograde in 5th H

Education being draining or tiring. I could be rather burdened by school work or assignments, perhaps I'll be doing most of my work alone or may not truly feel connected to my work. Uni life will grant me a lot of opportunities to do things I wouldn't normally do. Perhaps I'll have a lot of fun doing assignments & learn to love my life here.

I'm also really close to the capital city of my country so I'll be able to go to many, manyy events in & out of uni on my own. Since it's in retrograde it's still going to be quite overwhelming. A little bit of a culture shock for me as well.

𝄞 Boda (24° ) conjunct Eros (26°) in 12th H Sagittarius

• thinking/dreaming of marriage feeling more connected to the future, being more laid back about love, marriage, and connections, going with the flow

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⭑

Thank you for reading ily!! ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore SRC 2024 all rights reserved.

[granulesofsand]

Reasons people underestimate the prevalence of RAMCOA:

Untraumatized people don’t think about trauma nearly as much as survivors

People don’t know what the signs are. Trainings are shitty when given, attendees don’t think they’ll need to use the information, and trainings offered are usually online and easy to walk away from

Mandatory reporters don’t usually follow through their contracts. This is sometimes a good thing, but it can leave room in the wrong places for endangered children

People who know the signs will ignore them. They think it unlikely, that they’re overreacting, or they just don’t notice

Survivors are quiet. Speaking up puts us in danger, and more people think of us as media material than peers

The police don’t do jack shit for us. Some stations train officers to overlook our cases, and it’s difficult to take to court if a survivor wants to. In larger cases, government works with organized criminal groups that perpetrate or do so themselves for research

We’re a test question. The only time we are brought up in psychology classrooms is if they want to nod to a DID diagnosis. Few therapists are educated and willing to take us on as clients

Abusers know how to make connections with local authority. In high control groups, members may be taught how to abuse and evade interception

All of this makes it hard to report anywhere how many survivors exist free, and the low numbers in turn make us less believable when we do report

RAMCOA includes severe religious abuse, manipulative coercion, programming, cults, trafficking rings, criminal gangs, and more. Survivors are your coworkers, neighbors, cashiers, librarians.

Signs to look for:

Ritual Abuse

History of self-harm, substance use, sui/homicidality, especially with prescribed patterns

Unusual phobias (red or brown foods, kinds of houses, churches, hospitals, fear of the dark or being alone in adults)

Aversion to or obsession with the occult/witchcraft or other faith traditions

Patterns of nightmares, aversions or obsessions with common or nondescript themes (gore, needles, bugs, rodents, monsters, babies, men or women)

Sudden or irresistible urge to relocate, recontact abusers, participate in abusive ceremonies

High pain tolerance

Repeated phrases with violent, aggressive or religious themes

Mind Control and Coercion

Unquestioning obedience of a person or doctrine

Defers to another, speaks as though scripted, frequently accompanied by another or has to ask permission inappropriate for their age

Sudden or dramatic change in behavior, hobbies, or long-standing habits

Refusal to consume media unless approved by another/without further explanation

Anxious or idealized descriptions of childhood home and family, unable to recall these things

No memory of childhood or missing years

Multiple self-states, especially in high quantities

Organized Abuse and Trafficking

Disconnection from peers, family and friends

Does not attend community events or faith services or is perpetually preoccupied with a single group

Repeated unexplained absences from work or school

Disoriented, confused or dissociated for long periods of time or without explanation

Fearful or self-persecutory behavior, especially with allusions to another person or group

Bruises, broken skin or other wounds in various stages of healing

Minors engaging in commercial sex (including CSEM or survival sex)

Timid, skittish, fearful or submissive behaviors (including when this is the norm)

Malnourished, dehydrated, exhausted or with untreated ails

Without belongings or suitable living space

Many indicators of abuses flow together, as do the events themselves. It’s common that RA and OA perps use MC to keep victims in line, and techniques are often implemented by default in abusive environments. A group using RA or MC also qualifies as OA. This is why the community acronym includes all three.

There are more discreet examples for each. It’s possible to find many symptoms of RAMCOA and have none of those maltreatments as the cause. It’s possible to have none and still be abused.

Noticing indicators in children should be followed up by alerting any available reliable authority. Children sometimes disclose using metaphors or slang words they have been taught, so keep this in mind if you work with them.

[neogandw]

Someone in bluesky asked who they were, so I figured I could go over them real quick.

A japanese robot stylized after the myth of yuki onnas, although she's given the job of being the company mascot for a company that sells refrigeration technology and frozen goods (such as Ice Cream) the reality of it is that she's the daughter of the CEO, a kind, strong man who gives off Santa Claus vibes.

Cute, Innocent and somewhat Lonely, Ghosty has a skewed idea of how to make friends by trying to greet people with a hearty "BOO!", but she hardly scares anyone.

In reality, she wants to befriend new people.

She can be found as a major NPC in Make a Good MegaMan Level 3!

An European robot, one of many stage hand technician robots that function as roadies of many different types of concerts across the globe, with Jill's field being hard rock.

Though she's a brash metalhead, she grew fond of music herself and wanted an opportunity to breach into the industry on her own.

Through hard work and determination (and an online video channel where she played covers for a long while) she eventually landed a gig with a music production company, which as it happens wanted someone to play an idol role.

Jill now has to balance her real work and metal head tendencies with the duties of being a bubbly, energetic idol for the public, though she generally doesn't mind playing up the cute (and the public is generally aware of her metal head tendencies since she's really bad at keeping her natural behavior in check) making sure that her secret identity remains private to herself (and her close friends).

She's also an NPC in Make a Good MegaMan Level 3.

A Chinese robot, hailing from a traditional rural village over on the mountainous regions of China. Ignite is from a family of firework crafters and handymen that work to upkeep the village's scarce technological commodities.

Given the main trade of the family is fireworks (which generally only comes up during festivals), Ignite puts her drive and fireworks abilities into learning martial arts of various kinds and work odd-jobs around town (and lately, body guard work) to bring money home.

She fashions herself a hero to the village, however, her egocentric and "believe-my-own-hype" behavior often lands her in situations out of her control or where the event blows right on her face in one way or another.

Still, she refuses to give up, ultimately, she IS good spirited and popular with the people of the village (children specially), just a bit harsh and hard to deal with.

An american robot whose original job and name are only known to him and him alone.

He was originally ownded by a rich tycoon in the gambling industry who was all kinds of shady, but through hard work and more than a few well placed gambles, Casino amassed enough of a fortune to buy out the gambling joint from his old owner. Whoever they were there they haven't been seen ever since.

Casino has since expanded the gambling joint into being a vacation resort complete with hotels and theme parks, running with peak efficiency and valuing style and respect to the clients with utmost importance.

He may have a greedy side, but he tends to find people he wants to place under his wing and protection, creating some sort of family of his own. Even if he himself may grumble about people "not pulling their weight", he's generally a softy of an uncle figure.

There's rumors that he may have upgraded himself, allegedly if his reels ever hit 7-7-7, he may become a "Dandy CasinoMan" with a more elaborate human form, though its rare that this ever happens.

A robot made by an international joint alliance looking to do paleontoligical and biological research across the globe, stylized after cavemen, he's a lot smarter than he lets on.

CaveMan thus dwells on the natural regions of various countries, looking for evidences of the past. Being well equipped with excavation, climbing and foraging technology, he ventures into the uncharted regions of jungles and into the depths of the earth to find leads into the distant past.

Cave tends to be a cranky old man and he has a distaste for the people who spend most of their research in a lab instead of out on the field. Though he's grumpy about it he generally tends to have a good point in trying to keep passerby out of the locations he tends to dwell (having more than once used his tools to rescue vacationers out of caverns and cave-ins).

His lone company tends to be a tiny pterodactyl robot called Xylo, his loyal pet, bit of a birdbrain but smart enough to help in complex work. Cave trusts Xylo far more than any young whippersnapper he may come across.

A robot created by science institutes in canada, specifically by an old scientist who was researching into a techonogically advanced liquid that could be controlled and made to take any shape that was required.

The old scientist, feeling nostalgia over shows they used to watch as a child, decided to fashion a robot out of the very same shows that inspired them to help people smile, using this very tech who happened to look like ink and created Toon Woman out of it.

While not strictly made for the entertainment industry, Toon Woman has studied and learned the art of slapstick and comedic timing. She fashions herself after cartoons of old (particularly, a show about a young witch who wants to help people), being more of a travelling comedian looking to put smiles on people and help as many folks as possible.

She's driven to not leave someone's side until they turn that frown upside down and have a fuzzy feeling inside of their heart.

A greek robot that is part of a line of robots stylized after the greek pantheon and made to fullfil various jobs, with her design echoing that of Hermes and Iris, the messengers of the gods.

As such, her duty is mail and package delivery, managing both physical postman duties and digital redictection of e-mail, Mail is a very dedicated post woman who travels around the world alongside her pet butterflies, sworn to her duty and happy to obligue.

Unfortunately, she's also a bit of a hopeless romantic and more than a bit gullible. Being in love with the concept of love (and gleeing much about it) she tends to fall for virus-ridden e-mail due to her trusting nature, causing more than a bit of trouble to her system whenever some e-mail claims "ILOVEYOU" to her.

And yet somehow, her systems work regardless of how many viruses she has in there, they appear to be clogged in a pipeline.

Her peppy attitude and go-getter disposition land her as a favorite among her siblings in the Olymp.O.S. line of robots, though few tend to humor her love sappy side whenever she's on her own dream land.

There's been… a few complaints about her taking the scenic route when delivering mail as well.

THE NEXT ONES ARE MY DESIGN, BUT CONCEPTUALIZED BY FRIENDS. SO I REGARD THEM AS GUESTS.

NOT A ROBOT MASTER, technically its own original universe.

A Death Bot made for a tournament run by a pretends-to-be-bad-guy called Mr. Sinister, who tends to rotate the tournament entrants around.

Though Mister Sinister's Death Bots are not generally humanoid due to trying to keep mass appeal high and censors off his back, Hiwired is a rare exception, though her clownish features make her look inhuman enough.

Hiwired 9 is one of the Electric-themed Death Bots, and her powers are to create lightning bolts and sparks of the primary colors. As a jester-type bot, she's mostly focused on having a good time and putting on a show, making her attacks usually more visually appealing than dangerous.

Hiwired is a devious little goblin of a robot; despite or because of this she has little self awareness. She doesn't like that clowns usually get typecast as evil though she's literally a "Death Bot". There is some programmed dissonance there because of the secret "pacifist" nature of Death Bots to everything but other robots.

Her main goals are to have a good time and put on a good show. Mister Sinister wouldn't admit this to her but she's one of his favorite robots and most embodies what he's all about in terms of presenting and flashiness.

She's got a high-pitched, almost grating voice that's a bit TOO cutesy. She's very into her job as a Death Bot and eager to show off. She's bratty and petulant; and behind the scenes gets jealous if she isn't the Electric Death Bot chosen for that particular "show". One of the Death Bots most likely to prank others and generally be a nuisance.

Outside of the show, her merchandise is one of the most popular among viewers, just behind the most cute ones like Hotter and Constellar.

This blurb was mostly written by Kittah (minor alterations were made to her current name and a small explanation for death bots was added).

A robot of unknown origin and harsh past, Duet is not entirely running in peak performance (and lacking an entire arm), she has low self steem and tends to compare herself to other more build-complete robots.

Having taken a devil deal with a scientist who she by all means shouldn't have trusted, she was given both a new arm and a helmet that both boost her confidence… at the cost of her sanity and morality, she's pushed into evil and giving into insecurity-driven anger when wearing both.

Ultimately, she's lonely and wants to befriend more people, but due to her low self steem and depression she has trouble doing so. Maybe one day she'll see she's worth more than she thinks.

The end result of various experiments ran by scientists associated with Light Labs.

After the latest attack by Dr. Wily's creations, the scientists figured that Wily's research shouldn't be entirely discarded as he is a brilliant mind of his own, and thus decided to reverse engineer his creations to find a more positive use for them.

One of such efforts being the foundation of the D.E.V.I.L. Research institute, which was dedicated to reverse engineer the technology of the various "Yellow Devils" that Dr. Wily had created and find them a peaceful application.

Although its been proving difficult to figure out an use to moldeable goo, the research institute was at least successful in creating a controller device for it: a little fish-like creature that could re-structure itself into various shapes to mold the goo into as many applications as possible.

The little fish creature would then gain concience of its own, and that would lead to the creation of Slime Woman.

Slime would thus learn more than a few things from the scientists and gain their passion for research and the gain of knowledge, being more than a bit serious, she gives in to the natural curiosity and wants to experiment on things to learn how they tick.

Experimentation is still ongoing on how to get the goo to be useful, but at least they gained an ally in the everlasting learning process.

Rogue Woman stated out as a simple security robot. She was originally designed to analyze and predict flaws in software and hardware on high-end business and laboratories for a now-defunct security firm, having gone bankrupt due to embezzlement and other morally dubious reasons.

After the company shut down, their assets were liquidated and thus Rogue was destined for the scrap heap as her function ceased to be.

As luck would have it, she was rescued from such a fate. Not much is publicly known about her benefactor (in reality an engineering scientist from the company), other than rogue refering to her as a mother (though only those close enough to personally know Rogue).

Rogue's mother has a vendetta against the former management of the company as they left her homeless for a while, as a result of their shared past, both have resolved to use their abilities to get back at the greedy corporates that ruined their lives.

Rogue wasn't designed for combat, rather prefering to use her tools to sneak in and get out quickly without being seen, though she herself has a bit of a show-offy side while doing this.

Outside of her more confident spy personality, Rogue is an entomology geek with a bit of social anxiety, its hard to earn her trust, but once you're in that zone, just expect to be told all about the bugs she finds neat for hours on end.

[chelseachilly]

karma is my boyfriend

pairing: reader x mason mount summary: you face some backlash online after your relationship with mason goes public. he reminds you not to worry too much about the haters (with a little help from taylor swift) warnings: suggested smut (no actual smut though), mostly just fluff and some hurt/comfort ft. protective mason!! word count: 2.2k

author’s note: hi! this is my first mason fic, the idea for which came to me while listening to midnights (for the millionth time lol) pls let me know what you think!

There are a lot of things you have grown to love in your first few months dating Mason Mount.

You love his contagious smile and how his positivity improves the lives of everyone around him. You love waking up in his bed to him kissing your neck and murmuring “good morning, baby” in a hoarse, sleepy voice. You love watching him play football, his passion for the game so obvious and moving.

Mostly, you love him. You’ve known it from your second or third date, and it took everything in you not to admit it until he finally let those big three words slip while cuddling on his couch a few weeks ago. Now that you’ve both admitted it, telling him you love him is easier than breathing.

However, there are also things you don’t love about dating Mason Mount.

You’ve managed to keep your relationship under wraps for the first few months, with only your friends and family in on it. You haven’t posted each other on social media or taken many public outings together. When you have done for dinner or out with friends, you’ve been discreet in case there were any cameras around.

Until last week, when you were leaving a club with Ben and Kai and their girlfriends, both you and Mason too tipsy to care about potential paparazzi. The next morning, photos of the two of you kissing on the sidewalk were on the front page of the Sun. And the Daily Mail. And just about every other shitty tabloid in the country.

The Sun @TheSun ✔️- 6d Spotted: Chelsea star Mason Mount kissing possible new girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N outside popular Kensington nightclub!

You aren’t famous by any means, but because of your job in PR - Chelsea FC among your firm’s client base - the media was able to identify you. The fact that Mason and half the rest of the team follow you on social media made it fairly easy to confirm.

You’re well-versed in advising other people how to handle being in the public eye, but this is the first time you’ve had to deal with it yourself. So far, it’s been tougher than you expected.

Due to Mason’s ex-girlfriend being considerably more well-known than you, her fan base has taken to sending you death threats on social media, commenting on your old photos with digs at your appearance.

You know that you shouldn’t let these internet trolls get to you, but you can’t help yourself from scrolling through your socials, watching them continue to pour in.

You insist to Mason that you’re fine, and though it’s clear he doesn’t entirely believe you, you manage to convince him not to post about it or do anything rash. You tell him it will all blow over within a couple weeks.

It will blow over, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt right now. And when you come home from work one day, already tired and stressed and feeling low on self-esteem, only to read a tweet about how you’re an “ugly slag who doesn’t deserve Mason”, you reach a breaking point.

This is how Mason finds you when he gets to your place after training. You’re curled up on the couch in one of his hoodies, scrolling on your phone and crying so hard you feel sick.

“Y/n, what happened?” he exclaims, running to your side and kneeling next to you. “Are you in pain?”

You shake your head, barely able to speak. You pass him your phone so he can read for himself - you’ve been trying to hide most of it from him thus far, but you don’t think you can anymore.

As he scrolls through the comments on your latest Instagram post - a simple picture of you and your sister - you can see visible anger on his face, his jaw clenched. Mason isn’t often angry, and you haven’t seen this level of rage on his face even after a bad ref call or a lost match.

“Mase…” you say quietly, attempting to calm him down, but he just shakes his head.

“This is ridiculous,” he says in disbelief, tossing your phone on the couch cushion next to you. “Why the fuck would they comment those things? They know nothing about you!”

“They’re just trolls, your ex has quite the fan base,” you explain, sitting up and wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, it’s just been a lot.”

“Of course it has, baby,” Mason says, his face softening as he climbs up onto the couch to pull you into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry.”

You immediately melt into his side, letting his touch comfort you. It’s amazing how quickly your negative thoughts fade away in his arms, how being with him makes everything better.

“It’s not your fault,” you mumble into his chest.

“I know, but I should still do something about it,” Mason sighs. “I’ll put out a statement asking them to back off.”

“Thanks, love, but that’s not necessary,” you tell him. “They’re mostly her fans, not yours, so you issuing a statement won’t have much impact.”

Mason sighs again in defeat - he knows that you’re the expert in this area, but it’s clear that he just wants to do something to help.

“Well, I can text her, ask if she’ll say something to her annoying fans.”

You know that he and his ex ended on somewhat okay terms, but you also know that he really would rather not contact her unless absolutely necessary.

“Mase, it’s really okay,” you say gently. “I’m not gonna ask you to do that. Us dating will be old news in a week, I’ll just keep a low profile on socials from now on or go private or something, and we can be more careful about being spotted-“

“You shouldn’t have to, though,” he grumbles, his hand squeezing your knee. “I hate this. We should be able to go out and do stuff and post pictures together without people sending you awful messages.”

“I know, babe, but this is just how it is,” you say, leaning in to peck his lips quickly. “It’s alright. I feel better already, I swear.”

It’s true - you do feel much better now that he’s home, and you decide to turn off both of your phones for the rest of the night.

You settle into the couch with a movie playing and order a bunch of takeaway and have a wonderful evening together. At some point, you even forget all about the haters on the internet, content to focus on your boyfriend.

-

The next morning, it’s Saturday, and Mason asks when you wake up if you feel like coming to the match today.

You’ve come to many of his matches before, both for Chelsea and England, but never since the public has known you’re his girlfriend. You know if you go today there will be people taking your picture and staring at you, even if they don’t mean any harm.

Given the toll this past week has taken, you just don’t have that in you right now.

“I’m so sorry, Mase,” you say, running a hand through his hair. “You know how badly I want to be there and support you, but I-“

“You don’t have to explain, baby, I completely understand,” he says, holding your waist. “I’ll miss having you there, but I’ll feel better knowing you’re safe and happy at home. Just call if you need anything.”

“Won’t you be a little busy, you know, playing football?” you tease, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his lips lightly.

Mason just chuckles. “They can sub me off for all I care.”

“Don’t say that!” you gasp, biting your lip to keep from smiling. “I’ll be watching on the telly, and I expect a goal from you, mister.”

“Anything for my girl,” Mason flashes you a cocky grin, which suddenly makes you desperately wish he didn’t have to leave right now so you could shove him back into bed and kiss it off him. “Alright, I’m gonna be late. One more kiss for luck?”

You oblige, leaning in to kiss him and running your hands through his hair. Once you pull back, he must sense your lingering disappointment at not being able to come today, because he gives you a reassuring look and cups your face in both hands.

“Try not to let those pricks online get to you, okay?” he reminds you. “It’s like that Taylor Swift song you always play. Karma’s on your side, baby.”

You laugh out loud - you’ve gone from Mason enduring you constantly playing Taylor songs when you started dating to him now requesting certain ones every time you get in the car. Not that he would ever let the boys find out, of course.

“Alright, now go before you miss warm-ups,” you smile, kissing him once more and then pushing him away.

A couple hours later, you settle in on your couch to watch the match against Tottenham. You know Chelsea are favoured to win, but you still let out a sigh of relief when Kai scores the first goal in the first twenty minutes.

In the second half, they maintain a strong defense, Kepa successfully blocking more than one strong attempt from the Spurs’ forwards.

With ten minutes to spare, Ben has possession and is moving quickly toward the goal. You assume he’s going to pass to Kai, and the other goalkeeper does too, as he’s on the entirely wrong end of the net when Ben passes to Mason. Mason shoots from a clearly onside position and scores in the top right corner of the net, resulting in thunderous applause at the Bridge.

You jump up from the couch, a huge grin on your face as you watch your boyfriend and his teammates huddle in celebration.

When the camera pans to Mason, he points right at the lens and blows a kiss with a small wink. Your heart soars in your chest as you realize he’s dedicating it to you.

Your chest full of pride and love for this man, you are suddenly reminded of why this is all worth it. It’s worth it to face any backlash that might come from being in the public eye because, at the end of the day, this wonderful guy who just scored a goal for his team on national television is coming home to you. And that’s all that matters.

The match ends with Chelsea winning 2-0. Barely over an hour later, you hear the key turning in your door, and you run to greet him.

The moment the door opens, you jump at him, wrapping your arms and legs around him. Mason catches you immediately and hugs you just as close, burying his face in your hair.

After a minute, you pull back to hold his face in both hands and kiss him senseless, making him moan slightly as you tug gently at his hair. You kiss until you’re out of breath, and then you slowly pull away and Mason eases you back down to your feet, remaining in each other’s arms.

“If this is what I get for scoring a goal, I think the club is going to be very happy with my performance this season,” he smiles, stroking your hair.

“I did love the goal, and I really loved the celebration,” you smile, running your thumb over the dimple in his cheek. “But the kiss is because I really love you.”

Mason grins even wider before sliding his hands down to your bum and lifting you up again, beginning to walk the both of you over to your bedroom.

After you’ve had an even better celebration in-between your sheets, you are laying on top of Mason’s chest, complete bliss washing over you as he traces circles on your back and presses kisses to your forehead.

You still can’t believe he’s yours - all yours, as you just very successfully reminded him. But he is, and you’re tired of hiding that.

“Hey, babe, I think I changed my mind about going private on Insta,” you say, propping your chin up on his chest. “I don’t want to hide anymore. I love you and we’re happy and I don’t care who knows that or what they have to say about it.”

Mason smiles and kisses your nose. “I’m all for that, love, but are you certain? I don’t want you getting any more hate.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking of trying a new strategy,” you smirk. “Like you said, karma will come for those internet trolls who have nothing better to do than comment on my pics. I can’t control that, but I can flaunt my super hot footballer boyfriend who scored a goal for me today.”

You grab your phone and show him the photo you took of the two of you a couple minutes ago, raising an eyebrow.

“Think it’s too much?”

Mason shakes his head, pulling you in for a kiss and grinning when you pull back. “It’s perfect. ‘Gram it, baby.”

You laugh and affectionately roll your eyes at him before opening the app and crafting your post, confidently sending it out into the world. Immediately after hitting post, you toss your phone aside and Mason pulls you in for another round, making you giggle with kisses to your neck.

You don’t check your phone until much later, and funnily enough, any hate is drowned out by many comments from both your friends and Mason’s fans, the majority of which are incredibly supportive.

You scroll through some of them together, laughing with your head still resting on Mason’s chest and his arm wrapped around you, and you know that you made the right call.

yourusername

liked by masonmount, benchilwell, & 32,609 others

yourusername karma is the guy on the screen…coming straight home to me 💙😘

tagged: masonmount

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masonmount 🥰🥰🥰

christianpulisic I am officially blaming you for Mase making us listen to this song in the locker room after the match

yourusername shhh Chris we know you’re a secret swiftie

mountfan19 ok I love this girl for Mason tbh

chelseagirl literally!! they’re so cute

thank you for reading!! 💙

[taytaay131313]

DEBUNKING THE “KARLIE BETRAYED TAYLOR BELIEF”

Disclaimer: this post is taken from Reddit and it was put together and posted by this user : OddDragonfruit6179 I just made it into Tumblr post.

This is for people who might be new to Gaylor side of the fandom and to those questioning the “betrayal” surrounding Taylor Swift and her masters and Karlie Kloss. This is also an answer to anonymus messages about the line in the song It’s time to go believed to be about Karlie Kloss / When the words of a sister come back in whispers that prove she was not in fact what she seemed not a twin from your dreams she's a crook who was caught.

PSA - Personally, I exist as a Gaylor because I love interpreting Taylor's Queer themes that don't specifically revolve around certain muses & the beautiful way they can exist on their own. I am also not 'Late-Stage'-Anything, haha. But, saying that, it's amost impossible to ignore the elephant (or Giraffe) in the room when it comes to Karlie & Taylor's storytelling since Reputation. It seems there are some very firmly-held beliefs about 'what happened' (including Gaylors), and a lot of them revolve around the idea that Karlie 'betrayed' Taylor during the Master's Heist era of June/July 2019, 'feeding information to & siding with Scooter Braun' - which are often used to debunk Gaylor interpretations as a blanket shut-down. Given the latest drama with Selena & how she recently spoke up about slandering Taylor on TikTok, it reminded me of how we have a lot of evidence from both Taylor & Taylor's inner circle that this was probably not actually the case, and how quickly rumours & interpretations get adopted as 'fact' without any proof - something I think Taylor's also tried to get across with her music, too. I wanted to do a little deep-dive into this side of things to remind us all that we simply cannot believe everything we hear - there's always a lot more to celebrity stories than the loosly-held general beliefs :)

What was the big 'betrayal' in 2019?

If you're new here, welcome! The supposed 'betrayal' revolves around Taylor's Master's Heist in summer 2019, when Scooter Braun (millionaire celebrity manager) bought Taylor's entire back catalogue of music, leaving her without ownership of all her previous music. Taylor was at a turning point in her career, having just ended the 13 year contract that she'd been tied into since she was 15, and was just about to release her first fully-owned album 'Lover' She wanted to buy all her past music, allowing her to have full freedom & ownership going forward - yet it was allegedly sold to Scooter from underneath her, meaning he would be the one profiting from all of her life's work from Debut to Reputation & leaving her without any ownership rights of all her past work. (This is now why she's re-recording her 'Taylor's Versions' of her past albums.) How does Karlie tie into this? Karlie had been a huge part of Taylor's life since 2013. As Gaylors, most of us believe they were much more than friends & Karlie was the main muse for Reputation (2017) & multiple songs on Lover (2019). Karlie had signed with Scooter Braun in 2015. In 2016, Scooter was involved in the Kimye 'Taylor Swift is over controversy', being included in a photo Justin Bieber posted online to taunt Taylor (which Justin later said Scooter had nothing to do with). As she was Scooter's client, Karlie was immedietly caught up between Scooter Vs Taylor rumours, leading her to tweet this:

In early 2017, as the Kimye drama grew, Taylor stopped sharing her private life on social media. From 2017-2018 she releases Rep, goes on tour, ends her contract with Big Machine & begins working towards releasing Lover. All the while, rumours are consistently following both Taylor & Karlie about 'whether or not they're still friends' because they'd not been seen together. A lot of people believe they were still in each other's lives (there are multiple masterposts going into the possible romantic side of things), but the narrative is all over the place: In March 2018, Karlie tells the NY Times: 'don't believe everything you read' & that she and Taylor as still 'very close'. In July 2018, Karlie announces that she's engaged to Josh Kushner and Taylor doesn't publicly comment. In August 2018, Karlie attends the Rep Tour & is brought to the front pit when Taylor sings 'Dress'. In October 2018, Karlie has her first 'wedding' with Josh (up for personal interpretation if this is Lavender or not) - Taylor doesn't publicly comment. The same month, Karlie's YouTube shows her apartment is still full of photos of Taylor & her family/friends (not Josh):

In the first half of 2019 Taylor is finishing writing Lover, which include themes indicative that she is extremely up/down, full of anxiety & has push a 'lover' away: "I'm terrified if you ever walk away" (Cornelia Street), "We were crazy to think this could work, but we might just get away with it" (False God), don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" (Cruel Summer), " jump from the train, I ride off alone" (The Archer), " blew things out of proportion, why'd I have to break what I love so much? I need to say hey, it's all in my head, I'm the one who burned us down, sorry that I hurt you, I don't do this to you, I don't wanna loose this with you" (Afterglow), "Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts, I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandalier's still flickering here" (DBTC)

What actually happened in Summer 2019?

Taylor begins promoting the release of Lover. In April 2019 she unveils a butterfly wing mural which looks extremely similar to Karlie's butterfly wings from the VS Show where they met & then continues to be ridiculously gay-on-main. She releases You Need To Calm Down, where she's the Sherriff of the Gay trailor park with Bi hair, and ME! on Lesbian Visibility Day... there's endless flagging in clothing/theming. She was getting very 'loud'. Many people believe she may have been leading up to 'coming out' officially, either with the album and/or the Miss Americana documentary that was in the process of being filmed. On 23rd/24th June, Karlie has her second 'wedding' (a big party). Taylor doesn't attend. Scooter does (he's close friends with Josh).

Within a week after he's at this party with Josh & Karlie, Scooter then flies to Nashville and completes the sale of Taylor's masters. The sale is partially funded by the Carlyle Group, who is in business with Kushner Companies (Josh's family's business).

On 30th June (the following weekend), Taylor announces that the Master's Heist has happened & how distraught she is. Lots of celebrities speak up against Scooter & many of his clients (Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber etc) speak up in defence of him. Karlie remains silent & doesn't make a statement either way.

On 3rd July, Perez Hilton starts stirring shit by saying that 'Taylor is no longer close to Karlie because she found out Karlie was telling things about her & her career to Scooter! It began circulating that 2 of Taylor's close friends, Ashley Avignone & Claire Winter had liked the tweet, 'confirming' that this was the case to those that follow gossip sites. Karlie is then photographed at events/lunches/trips with Scooter multiple times throughout the rest of 2019 - further ‘cementing' this idea for fans.

The final blow for this theory came when Taylor released Folkmore (2020): in the song 'Time to Go' she sings "When the words of a sister come back in whispers, that prove she was not in fact what she seemed, not a twin from your dream she's a crook who was caught", which many fans immedietly assumed was about Karlie.

Where are the cracks in all this?

Taylor's other friends: Obviously, social media is only a partial glimpse of a story, but it is very suggestive of behind the scenes information. The reaction to the current Selena controversy was what reminded me of her friendship with Taylor, after she stuck up for Taylor on a video of Hailey Bieber. Selena's been very close to Taylor since they were teenagers. In October 2019, shortly after the Master's Heist, she did an interview where she was in tears talking about how important her friendship with Taylor was, and how much she loved her & her family:

...so she would've been very much on Taylor's 'side' if Taylor has had an awful betrayal from Karlie, right? Yet in November 2019, just 5 months after the Masters Heist , she's very publicly supporting Karlie, too:

..and they have both consistently continued to support eachother ever since, right up to Selena's latest birthday:

In terms of social media, many of Taylor's current close friends & people she's worked closely with continue to follow Karlie (despite following a very limited number of people). This includes Taylor's oldest childhood friend, Abigail (who only follows 285 people - Karlie still follows her back), Haim The Band, as well as Danielle & Alana Haim on thier individual accounts, and Sadie Sink:

Karlie also continues to follow Taylor herself and Taylor's brother, Austin:

We also have two more of Taylor's very close circle, Ryan Reynolds & Gigi Hadid, liking posts about Karlie's 30th birthday in 2022:

What about Perez Hilton's claims? Baring in mind this is the ONLY 'evidence' that exists to support this story, I tried to find the original tweets about 'Karlie telling things about Taylor to Scooter', and low & behold: they're ALL gone. That includes Perez's & the 'Taylor Swift Updates' tweet that was supposedly liked by Taylor's friends. Gone, deleted, non-existent. Why would they have been deleted if they were true & Taylor wanted that story out there? Who made sure they were, from all accounts involved, and only those? Interesting.

What I did find, however, was some tweets and likes from the same friend, Ashley Avignone, discussing how none of Scooter's clients have been able to speak out against him or leave him because of their contracts (this would include Karlie):

What about Karlie 'siding' with Scooter & continuing to work/hang out with him? There were definitely pictures of Karlie continuing to spend time with Scooter after the Masters Heist. However, she was under contract. She never defended him or tried to reason about what he'd done. In fact, she left Scooter as soon as she possibly could. She hasn't been seen with Scooter since 2019 & she signed a new contract with a different manager in 2021. It's also relevant to note that Taylor's other close friend, Ed Sheeran, was also managed by Scooter at the time & didn't speak up publicly either. Taylor reportedly attended Ed's wedding in September 2019, yet Ed continued to stay with Scooter & publicly party with him well into 2021 (so, clearly, if there is an issue with Karlie it wasn't just because she continued to work with Scooter in 2019).

Last but not least, the music:

Throughout her albums since the Masters Heist, Taylor has consistently written about heartbreak & betrayal in different ways. Although 'It's time to go' has been grabbed by many fans as 'proof' that Karlie betrayed her, but most stories just aren't that simple. Taylor is a storyteller. One song doesn't equate to every emotion/situation that Taylor was feeling. As many of us do, I believe there's a clear arc of Taylor painting a picture throughout multiple songs, of how she thought she had been 'betrayed' & the pain of that, but later realising she was just blaming the person she had loved in order to get through it all. Others have done amazing, full analysis of these songs, but in terms of 'betrayal' specifically: In Hoax we see the raw pain of feeling hurt by the one she loved alongside what happened with the Masters Heist (this song is full of Karlie references & Taylor very clearly says she was writing about both love & the Masters Heist in the LPSS): "My eclipsed sun, this has frozen my ground / You know I left a part of me back in NY / You know it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark, darling this is just as hard."

In Closure, we see that she's harbouring a lot of anger & isn't ready to move forward or past her pride: "Yes I got your letter, it wasn't right the way it all went down, looks like you know that now / I know that it's over, I don't need your closure / I'm fine with my spite / Guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea that you put between you & me"

In Coney Island, we begin to see her taking accountability for her own role in the relationship breaking down in the first place (which ties in with Afterglow): "Sorry for not making you my centerfold / It gets colder & colder as the sun goes down / What's a lifetime of acheivement if I pushed you to the edge / Did I leave you hanging every single day / Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?"

In Happiness, we see this accountability clashing with the hurt she still feels about the way it all ended, but ultimately acknowledging she can't make Karlie the villain (suggesting she never actually was one) & wants to forgive her whatever role she did play (when she's ready). Hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you, no sorry, I don't mean that, I can't see facts through all of my fury / I can't make it go away by making you the villain, guess that's the price I pay for 7 years in heaven / All you want from me is the green light of forgiveness, You haven't met the new me yet, but I think she'll give you that"

Later, in The Great War, we see a continuation of reflecting back on the same themes - telling the story of feeling hurt & betrayed, shutting the other person out, but realising the other person was also being equally hurt by it all / was never the person she should've been blaming: "Cursed you as I sleep-talked, tore your banners down, took the battle underground / I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone" (processing her pain through putting an end to the loudness of Lover & writing Folkmore). "Somewhere in the haze got a sense I'd been betrayed/ telling me to punish you for things you never did, so I justified it" (Taylor's acknowledging once again that the other person hadn't actually done what she thought they had) "You drew up some good faith treaties / Tears on the letter / My hand was the one you reached for" (could be a callback to the letter' in closure & suggests the person was trying to make peace). "Your finger on my hairpin triggers, soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour & truth, broken & blue, so I called off the troops" (icy ground could be a callback to 'you have frozen my ground' back Hoax).

So where does that leave us?

Who the hell knows? No one does, but I love reading all the theories when the rest of the music is tied into it all! But in regard to there being a 'betrayal', given how there was never any concrete evidence that Karlie did anything wrong in the first place (& how the only tweets alluding to it have mysteriously dissapeared), the continual association with Karlie from some of the closest people in Taylor's life, Karlie leaving Scooter at the first chance she got & the arc of the 'thought i was betrayed but I was really just heartbroken & being dramatic' story from Taylor, I am now a firm believer that there wasn't a 'big betrayal' from Karlie in regard to the Master's Heist.

The rest of it is all up for guesswork. Taylor definitely felt betrayed by something at first. We know there were already break-up songs on Lover written before the Master's Hiest which suggest Taylor was the one to push her lover away, yet they were still dappled with hope that she'd get them back. Potentially, Karlie had already been pushed away & had sought security in her long-term partnership with Josh/decided to marry him. After the engagement & 1st wedding, this is when we see Taylor's very 'loud' Lover Era - could this have been an attempt to 'prove herself' to Karlie & make a statement about what she was willing to do? However, Karlie was already comitted to Josh & had gone through with the 1st wedding. Within a 1 week period of June 2019, Karlie doubled down on going through with her 2nd wedding to Josh & her manager bought Taylor's Masters, making it extremely risky for Taylor to continue to make a career-changing choice of 'coming out' (if that's what she'd been intending to do). Could it have been orchestrated by Scooter (& Josh?) in order to keep Taylor closeted? Could Josh have been involved financially in order to put a stop to the rumours about Karlie after they'd already comitted to marriage & keep his business deals/ family connections safe from speculation? Could Karlie simply have been trapped in the middle of all of it & torn between her loyalty to both Taylor & Josh, causing an already heartbroken Taylor to 'kick the cat' and initially put the blame on Karlie for the way it all happened? (If you factor in the possibility that both Karlie & Josh might be closeted & had eventually comitted to a consentual Lavender Marriage, it makes the risk of Taylor exposing them even bigger. Josh was tied up in Billionaire conservative circles & relied heavily on his business partnerships in the Middle East & Asia, as well as pressure from the Trump side of the family. We have no idea what kind of pressure he & Karlie may have been under behind the scenes).

Who the hell knows - but if Karlie had directly, intentionally been involved in such a big betrayal to Taylor, I HIGHLY doubt her best friends/family would be having anything to do with her.

Folkmore shows a clear theme of working through different, conflicting emotions, & then in Midnights we're back to seeing the Karlie-coded songs being portrayed as a big, authentic love (not one that was hate-filled or hurtful)...so at the very least, I'm definitley on the team of believing they have worked through whatever they needed to & have drawn a line under it all :) + a little update since the Eras tour started we have seen some of Karlies friends attend the show such as Derek Blasberg (her long time best friend), Cara Delevingne…Gigi Hadid revealed she will attend the Eras tour and go to as many shows as she can and she was just recently seen with Karlie in Mumbai. I hope this post made some things more clear for everyone not knowing this side of the story.

[tlbodine]

How to Socialize

OK, before I dig into this, a few disclaimers:

1 - I'm not like. A psychologist or anything. Just a writer who's been part of a whole lot of online communities and has run a pretty successful one for a few years.

2 - The advice that follows is not intended to make anybody feel bad or be a condemnation or enforce standards of behavior. If you read this and don't vibe with it, cool. Keep on scrolling by.

**also, oops, this is really long because I wanted to be thorough.

OK. So with that all out of the way. I was talking with a coworker today. She's undiagnosed but suspects she's some flavor of neurodivergent, and she works over on the sales side, where she was recently hired. Part of her training involves being coached specifically in how to interface with clients -- active listening, etiquette, how to ask good questions, that sort of thing.

She said to me today, "For like 27 years everybody has always just told me I was weird and intense and off-putting but nobody ever told me what I was actually supposed to DO until literally this week. Mind blown."

And I was like, shit, you know what? You have a point.

And that got me to thinking about communities -- from online spaces to meet-ups to society at large -- and the way we try to teach people behavior.

I feel like, overwhelmingly, folks are assumed to just understand what they're supposed to do. If there are community guidelines in place, they're usually rules about what not to do. But you can follow the rules to the letter, and still come off all wrong, and then nobody will ever tell you what you're doing wrong because it's impolite or whatever, until you irritate them so much that they either blow up at you or else just straight-up start avoiding you, and neither of those are really helpful pieces of feedback.

So. In case nobody has ever actually told you, specifically and explicitly? Here are some tips on being a good community member, the kind of person that folks will generally like to be around and want to be friends with.

Show Interest in Other People

The number one most important thing you can do to be a good community member, is to show interest in your other community members. After all, you want them to respond to you when you say things, right? Well. They want the same thing for themselves.

"But I'm not interested in what they're talking about." No problem. You're interested in getting along with them, right? Cool. So this interaction isn't actually about the subject. It's about making them feel good. And, hey, you know what? If you keep an open mind, you might find that what they're saying is actually pretty interesting.

Some phrases to remember and use when people are talking about an interest of theirs:

"Oh?" (general usage prompt for more information)

"That's really interesting! How does that work?" (acknowledges their interest + prompts them to talk more)

"I heard once about [related thing]." (shows that you are engaged with the topic, and allows you to shift conversation in a direction you're more comfortable)

"I'm really interested in [thing], I feel like that might be similar in [way]." (forges common ground and allows you to shift conversation to a topic you enjoy).

So for example, let's say you're talking to someone who mentions that they're really interested in...idk...volcanos. You don't really care about volcanos. But you like this person. So instead of just saying nothing (because you don't care about the topic), or changing the subject, engage instead: "I saw that movie Dante's Peak. How realistic is that?" "What got you interested in volcanos?" "I don't know much about volcanos. My thing was always horses. What's it like being a volcano girl?"

Whatever. The point is not to learn about volcanos (although learning new things can be fun!) but to give them a chance to talk about their thing.

Give Other People a Chance to Speak

The flipside of the thing above: If you're talking to someone about their interest, don't go so overboard trying to relate to them that you don't actually let them talk. In the horse/volcano example, see how it ends with a question? The question hands the topic back to the other person. It's like playing a game of catch. Conversation is tossing a ball back and forth. If one person hogs the ball, it's no fun for the other person.

When you're talking about your interests, you'll want to pay attention to the person/people you're talking to. In general, engaged conversation partners will mirror your energy. If they're asking questions and relating what you're saying to something they know, then they are trying to carry on conversation with you. Proceed!

If you notice they are:

Responding more slowly (without saying a disclaimer like "sorry, multitasking/at work, keep typing!")

Starting to reply with single-word responses ("cool!" "Okay" "lol") or emotes

Saying the same thing over and over ("That's awesome!" three times in a row)

They are most likely trying to disengage from the conversation. It's almost certainly not that they dislike you or that you've done anything wrong. They've probably just run out of things to say, or they really want to talk about something else, and they're looking for a way to politely exit the conversation. You can provide them with a graceful out by saying something like, "Anyway, that's my thing. What have you been up to?"

(Incidentally, if you notice that people have a tendency to stop talking to you or change the subject when you're trying to converse, check that you're not inadvertently giving off those disengagement signals. Saying things like "ok" or "I know" without any further prompting or question can be perceived as a cue for the other person to stop talking).

Avoid Self-Deprecation

Sometimes, you realize that you've made a misstep, and it seems natural that your next step should be to apologize. This isn't a bad impulse! But the way you apologize makes a difference.

For example, let's say you're talking in a discord channel and realize that you've been going on for a while and nobody else is saying anything. You get self-conscious and realize, oh, maybe you're talking too much.

So perhaps you're tempted to say: "Sorry. I know I talk too much and it's annoying."

Do not do this. Because now the people in chat will feel contractually obligated to reassure you that you are not annoying.

Instead, try a joke: "Phew that was a lot! Anyway. Anybody else want a turn?"

Keeping things light-hearted alleviates the pressure that other people might feel and keeps the mood from being too awkward.

"Isn't all of this dishonest and manipulative?"

Look. Here's the thing. People who are good communicators -- folks you might hear described as charismatic -- are folks who understand these rules, and other social rules, intuitively. Most well-socialized neurotypical folks communicate this way without thinking about it or even knowing what they're doing.

For those people, conversation is usually less about exchanging specific information and more about nurturing a social bond. Remember -- it's not about volcanos. It's about making the other person feel heard and appreciated.

To stretch the example to its breaking point: What would be dishonest or manipulative is if you pretended that you loved volcanos, or lied about your experience with volcanos, or went out of your way to build a relationship with someone on a shared passion for volcanos when actually you don't really like volcanos at all and one day you won't be able to stand it anymore.

Showing polite interest for a few minutes by asking a question? Is not dishonest. That's just you signaling to them, "I don't get your thing, but I care about you as a person and talking about this seems to make you happy, so please continue."

That's all for today. I might be back later with a post about sympathy and venting and advice. But for now, I hope this was at least a little bit helpful for somebody. Good luck out there making conversation!

[uyuforu]

How to know your Future Spouse's Career with Astrology

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Groom & Briede Persona Chart III

જ⁀➴ Groom/ Briede/ Juno Aspects in Natal Charts

જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born with Astrology

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╰┈➤ Get your own Derivative Astrology Future Spouse Reading for 35€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

ʚ♡ɞ Why the 4H?

ᰔᩚ The 7H in astrology represents the Future Spouse. Based on this house, we can see our Future Spouse's life based on our Natal Chart. This technique is called Derivative Astrology.

ᰔᩚ The technique here is to take our 7H as our FS' 1H. So our 10H will become our FS's 4H. And our 4H will become our FS' 10H.

ᰔᩚ As in Astrology, our 10H is our career, in the Derivative Astrology, if we want to know our Future Spouse' career we so need to look at our 4H.

ᰔᩚ As the 4H opposite the 10H in a chart, our FS' career will be seen through our 4H. So we will focus on this house today.

ʚ♡ɞ The Technique

ᰔᩚ In your 4H, you will need to check the sign it is in. You will also check the degree of the house, but also the ruler, and what planets are in the 4H. We are only going to check planets! Sun to Pluto only!

ᰔᩚ For the Ruler of your 4H, you will need to check where it is in your chart and under what sign.

ᰔᩚ For the planets inside, it will tell us what kind of job and career your FS is in. I'll give all the key words after the examples. For the planets, we will use the ones that are the closest to your IC! So if you have any planets that exactly conjuncts your IC it's perfect! Otherwise, just take the closest. The closest planets to take will need to be 10° apart maximum from the line of the IC!

ᰔᩚ Unfortunately it is very hard to explain this technique just like that, so I will use different examples down below for you to understand better. I want to also add that everything is more about describing your FS' career, and so everything will work with key words!

ᰔᩚ Example: My IC is Capricorn 23°. I will look at Capricorn/ Saturn keywords, Aquarius too because of the degree. I have Aquarius Uranus and Aquarius Neptune in 4H, so I'll look at Uranus & Neptune too.

ʚ♡ɞ Examples

ᰔᩚ My Best Friend has her 4H in Aquarius, which means a career that can be made online, a career related to technologies, social medias also. This can also mean her FS use technologies and social medias as a huge part of their job. This can mean this is a job that is not common, a job that is not safe money wise, meaning her FS can not have a safe salary that is the same every month. With the 6° she also has on her 4H, her FS can be someone very hard working, who is a perfectionist about their career, and someone who doesn't want to play when it comes to their work. Someone who can be recognized for their hard work too, someone people consider one of the best in their field. Here, her 4H is ruled by Uranus, and Uranus is also in her 4H, along with Neptune. With Neptune there, there can be something mystical and mysterious about her FS when working. FS can work in a field that can hide a lot of things, or if FS has to deal with public or clients, he will probably not show his real emotions, play a role in some sort of way. People at work or with the public/ clients can also have a lot of illusions about her FS, not really knowing who they are. FS can also work in an art field, a field that can also be related to music. And this is more logical since Uranus is also in Pisces in her chart. With the big Aquarius energy there, FS can work in a field where they can travel and meet a lot of different people everyday.

ᰔᩚ My Aunt has her 4H in Pisces, so FS can work in an art field, or something related to esotericism, sleep, dreams, the hidden mind, drugs, alcohol, hidden things in general, water, addictions, etc. If we look at the ruler of her 4H, it's Neptune, and here Neptune is in 2H Capricorn. Being in 2H, it makes a lot of sense since her husband works in a food field, and the 2H being naturally ruled by Taurus can be related to food in general. Neptune 2H can be about hidden ingredients in the food, which is what her husband does. He is a searcher and make sure she ingredients written on the food packaging correspond to what is really in the food. And her Neptune being in Capricorn makes a lot of sense there, he is one of the boss in the company, and he also has a lot of responsibilities in his job. Her Neptune also conjunct her Juno, and it's not surprising since they met at work. Moreover, her 4H degree is a Leo one, and her FS is someone who is quite popular at work, first because he has a lot of responsibilities and is one of the boss, but also because he is someone nice and funny.

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ʚ♡ɞ Keywords & Help

ᰔᩚ Aries/ 1H/ 1°, 13°, 25°/ Mars

A career in sport fields, athlete, a coach (this can be in sport or motivational one), someone who works with their body, a job where FS will move a lot, a job where one will have to go in many different places. Military, dancer, a chef, a leader, a manager, working with fights or wars. A stressful work, a work where you need to take a lot mentally, a lot of mental strength will be reacquired. Doctor, surgeon, justice, lawyer. Engineer, entrepreneur. A sale people. Can also be influencer vibe there.

ᰔᩚ Taurus/ 2H/ 2°, 14°, 26°/ Venus

Can work in art, music industry, fashion industry, beauty industry, luxury, with beautiful things, working with make up, working with skincare, working with jewels, etc. Working with romance, working with weddings, working with women. They can work in the art industry but mostly music or movie. They can also use their voice, so singer can be a possibility. They can be a seller, or a buyer, like buying luxurious items, or selling some. They can work in finance, with banks, etc. Working with Food or restaurant. Being a good critic.

ᰔᩚ Gemini/ 3H/ 3°, 15°, 27°/ Mercury

They can work with the educational system, working in communication, being a writer, an author, working with medias, a platform where people speak, they can be working on social medias, they can also be an editor, journalist, etc. They can also be a teacher, psychologist, counsellor. They can write a lot of their job, they can also drive a lot, move around, touch the public, talk to people everyday, they can be a sell person, they can work with languages, teaching languages, working with tourism. They can work on radio, TV, music industry, they can also be an influencer, a YouTuber, working with podcast, a comedian, etc. Someone who can also work with publishing, public relations.

ᰔᩚ Cancer/ 4H/ 4°, 16°, 28°/ Moon

FS can work with people, for people, a job where there are a lot of women, a job where a lot of women needs help. Working with pregnancies, babies, gynecologist, working in an hospital, a nurse, a doctor, working with children or babies. Can work with food, work in restaurant, a dietitian. Working in art field, mostly music. Working with homes, selling homes, real estate, interior decorating, architect, interior design. Working as a counsellor, adviser, expert in one of those field. Working with families, shelters, etc.

ᰔᩚ Leo/ 5H/ 5°, 17°, 29°/ Sun

Working with fame, working with high class people, working for high class people, working for the high society, luxury world, being famous, a high paying job, making money based off a hobby, working in the entertainment industry, working in the movie industry, having fans or clients at work, being a socialite, having their own business, creative field, art field. This can also mean working with the government, being a leader, an authority, politics. Being a boss or a CEO. Working with children, making things for children (toys, writing books about educations, etc.).

ᰔᩚ Virgo/ 6H/ 6°, 18°/ Mercury

They can work with the educational system, working in communication, being a writer, an author, working with medias, a platform where people speak, they can be working on social medias, they can also be an editor, journalist, etc. They can also be a teacher, psychologist, counsellor. They can work with health, so doctor, nurse, medical industry, they cna heal people, psychologist, working with mental health, pharmacy. They can work with animals too, veterinarian, they can also be into service industry, counseling, adviser. They can be a writer, author. They can be someone who loves to put things in order for someone else, like an assistant, or someone who assist someone. Someone who works with data, someone who analyze. Becoming an expert in something, becoming a doctor.

ᰔᩚ Libra/ 7H/ 7°, 19°/ Venus

Can work in art, music industry, fashion industry, beauty industry, luxury, with beautiful things, working with make up, working with skincare, working with jewels, etc. Working with romance, working with weddings, working with women. They can also work with law, justice, be a lawyer. They can be an advisor, a counselor, they can work with people, a sale person, they can also work in public relation. They can be an interviewer, they can also work with a counsellor.

ᰔᩚ Scorpio/ 8H/ 8°, 20°/ Pluto

Unconventional job, a career that keeps changing, perhaps your FS will do many different jobs in their life, all different from each other, a career or job that can be surprising. A job or career that people will think is weird or will surprise them at first. A career that can be seen as dark or taboo. A job related to money, bank, insurance, assets, proprieties, they can also handle people's money or helping people with their money, etc. This can also mean a job that is related to the occult or esotericism, astrology, etc. It can be a job related to death, handling death, funeral homes, cemeteries, mortician. It can also be related to psychology, handling people at their worst or in their saddest moment too, healer. Surgeries too, so perhaps a Surgeon as well. A job where a lot of researches have to be done, a job where they need to find solutions, a job where your FS can also take care of the risks or stressful situations.

ᰔᩚ Sagittarius/ 9H/ 9°, 21°/ Jupiter

A job related to foreign lands, foreigner, tourism, tourists, working abroad, working with foreign people, working in an airport, working with airplanes, flights attendant. Working with languages, a translator, a teacher, working with education, a writer, someone who also works with the travel industry. Someone who guide, advice. Someone who works in publishing, a journalist, a magazine author/ writer, working with religion, or working with spirituality. Someone who plans, but mostly planning events.

ᰔᩚ Capricorn/ 10H/ 10°, 22°/ Saturn

A job where they are the boss, a CEO, having their own business, their own company, being the best in it, a career or a job that is very well paid, handling money, banker, trading, offering a service to people, working with the government, politics, working with laws, justice, being a lawyer, being a manager. Your FS can do a career where they worked hard to do, or they have been doing for a long time, like preparing for it for a long time, studying for a long time or just mastered a skills to do it. Working with authorities, organizations, high paying jobs too.

ᰔᩚ Aquarius/ 11H/ 11°, 23°/ Uranus

Unconventional job, a career that keeps changing, perhaps your FS will do many different jobs in their life, all different from each other, a career or job that can be surprising. A job related to sciences, technologies, the internet, social medias, it can be an IT job, electronics. Something related to creating something, modernity, avant-garde, innovating jobs, jobs that aren't considered as "real" and secure jobs, Astrology, something related to planes, working with planes, airports, humanitarian, working with people, working for people, helping people somehow, having their own company, working with foreign lands, working with foreigners.

ᰔᩚ Pisces/ 12H/ 12°, 24°/ Neptune

A career in an art field, entertainment industry, music industry, a musician, a producer, someone who works with art but in the shadow, someone who works behind the curtain. Working in the medical field, someone who works with sick people, nursing, doctor, someone who works hard to find what is hidden. A career or job related to spirituality, esotericism, astrology, tarot, intuition, medium, psychic. A counsellor, someone who advices people, someone who also does charity. Working in the movie industry, a photographer, someone who works with art, someone who works with water, or around water. Someone who works with music, poetry. A psychologist, someone who works with the mind, someone who works with mental health.

Thank you for reading!

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back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[mariacallous]

In July 2020, a 72-year-old attorney posing as a delivery person rang the doorbell at US district judge Esther Salas’ house in North Brunswick, New Jersey. When the door opened, the attorney fired a gun, wounding the judge’s husband—and killing her only child, 20-year-old Daniel Mark Anderl.

The murderer, Salas said, had found her address online and was outraged because she hadn’t handled a case of his client fast enough. In her despair, Salas publicly pleaded, “We can make it hard for those who target us to track us down … We can't just sit back and wait for another tragedy to strike.”

She wanted judges to be able to keep their home addresses private. New Jersey lawmakers delivered. Months after the murder, they unanimously enacted Daniel’s Law. Today, current and former judges, cops, prosecutors, and others working in criminal justice can have their household’s address and phone numbers withheld from government records in the state. They also can demand that the data be removed from any website, including popular tools for researching people such as Whitepages, Spokeo, Equifax, and RocketReach.

Companies that don’t comply within 10 business days have to pay a penalty of at least $1,000. This makes New Jersey’s law the only privacy statute in the US that guarantees people a court payout when requests to keep information private are ignored.

That provision is being put to a consequential test.

In a pile of lawsuits in New Jersey—drummed up by a 41-year-old serial entrepreneur named Matt Adkisson and five law firms, including two of the nation’s most prominent—about 20,000 workers, retirees, and their relatives are suing 150 companies and counting for allegedly failing to honor requests to have their personal information removed under Daniel’s Law.

These companies, which Adkisson estimates generate $150 billion annually in sales, may now be on the hook for $8 billion in penalties. But what’s more important to him is the hope that this narrow New Jersey law could act as a wedge to force data brokers to stop publishing sensitive data about people of all professions nationwide. He’s hoping that this multibillion-dollar pursuit, with its army of union cop households, may be a catalyst for better personal privacy for us all.

If he doesn’t win, the oft-derided data broker industry would have proved that it has a right under the First Amendment to publish people’s contact information. Websites could avoid further regulation, and no one in the US may ever be guaranteed by law to become less googleable. “I never thought we would have such a hard time, that it would turn into such a battle,” Adkisson says. “Just home address, phone number, remove it. One state. Twenty-thousand people.”

This is the first definitive account of how the fate of one of the country’s most intriguing privacy laws came to rest on the shoulders of Adkisson’s latest tech startup, Atlas.

Matt Adkisson is almost your prototypical lifelong entrepreneur. He quit high school at 16 to code video games and small-business websites. His parents insisted, though, that he audit classes across the street from their home, at the US Naval War College in Rhode Island. So he began learning about national security. One lesson he picked up: When judges live in fear and can’t rule impartially, democracies can wither.

But saving democracy wasn't his passion. Making money was. He headed off to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology with designs on becoming a consultant or investment banker, but dropped out before senior year. Like so many other young people in the midst of the Web 2.0 frenzy, he had an entrepreneurial itch. Without telling them, Adkisson cashed out his parents’ tuition payment, and in 2006, he and a friend slept under office desks for a month before founding a company called FreeCause with Adkisson’s brother to develop marketing tools for Facebook games. Adkisson later bought shares of the nascent social media startup. Both bets paid millions. In 2009, FreeCause sold for about $30 million.

Adkisson upgraded to nights on a friend’s couch in San Francisco, where he used his wealth to invest in or start dozens of other software companies. As they sold, he became a comfortable multimillionaire. It was his last big deal, in 2018, that set him down the path of privacy crusader. He had sold Safer, which developed a Google Chrome competitor called Secure Browser, to antivirus maker Avast for about $10 million.

Adkisson and a cofounder recall that during a meeting over lakeside beers near offices in Friedrichshafen, Germany, after the deal closed, an Avast executive demanded they feed search activity from Secure Browser’s millions of users to Jumpshot, a sibling unit that was selling antivirus users’ browsing history to companies wanting to study consumer trends.

Adkisson stood to make millions of dollars in bonuses from the proposed integration. He refused. It was too intrusive to share that intimate data, he says, and a violation of trust. (Avast declined to comment on the episode. It shuttered Jumpshot, and this year agreed to pay $16.5 million to settle US government charges over the service’s allegedly deceptive data usage.)

Adkisson left Avast in December 2020 thinking he would keep adding to his portfolio of over 300 startup investments or pursue something in AI, like automating brushstrokes to create on-demand oil paintings. But he couldn’t shake the Friedrichshafen incident. For his web browsing, he started to use VPNs and the privacy-focused search engine DuckDuckGo. He tried to get websites to remove his new East Coast home address. Those efforts mostly failed; companies had no obligation to comply.

These websites that sell addresses or phone numbers typically get that data by buying voter or property records from governments, and user account details from companies willing to deal. The easy access to data enabled by the aggregators can be vital to services like identity verification or targeted advertising. But the customers also can include people who are looking for an old friend. Or investigating a crime. Or someone with a grudge against, say, a judge.

As Adkisson dug into the data broker industry in 2021, he read about how a law that went into effect the year before had given Californians a right to demand companies delete their personal information. So Adkisson and two cofounders launched a service they called RoundRobin, to help Californians do just that for a fee. Services like DeleteMe and Optery were already selling deletion assistance, but Adkisson felt they were more marketing spin than serious tech.

RoundRobin joined the well-known startup accelerator Y Combinator in April 2021 and began developing software to simplify making requests. But the startup had no way to enforce the takedowns it wanted to charge customers for; only California’s attorney general could sue for violations of the nascent law. Data websites ignored RoundRobin.

Given Adkisson’s pedigree, investors held out hope. California privacy activist Tom Kemp, Lightspeed Venture Partners, and others invested about $2 million in RoundRobin that August. But the struggle continued. The cofounders renamed the company to the more serious-sounding Atlas Data Privacy in January 2022. It didn’t help. But then, a break. Just as Adkisson was considering giving up and his initial cofounders were pulling out, a relative of his in California who had worked in law enforcement mentioned Daniel Anderl’s murder—and the law it inspired in New Jersey. “Fate delivered the Garden State,” Adkisson says.

He soon reached out to law enforcement experts, including a former Boston police commissioner and a retired Navy rear admiral. The two told Adkisson stories about cops who were attacked in their homes. They urged him to press on.

The first organization to return Adkisson’s cold calls was the New Jersey State Policemen's Benevolent Association, the state’s largest police union. They said a few of the organization’s 31,000 members needed help containing some inadvertently leaked contact information. Adkisson and a cofounder, J.P. Carlucci, took a stab. Despite limited success, union members were excited by Adkisson’s moxy. In July 2022, a union leadership group voted unanimously to offer Atlas’ service as a benefit to members with the intention of using Daniel’s Law to demand websites remove phone numbers and addresses. The cost, spread across all members paying for the union’s legal protection plan, was hundreds of thousands of dollars annually, Adkisson says.

In August 2022, with the deal signed and thousands of members soon enrolled, Atlas established headquarters in Jersey City, New Jersey, and set out to prove it could deliver better results than back in California. For that, it needed litigation power.

The first six law firms Adkisson called refused to take up the New Jersey cases. They worried about their financial return and the likelihood of success. Judges had discretion over the $1,000 payouts, plaintiffs had to prove physical harm, and to even bring a case, attorneys had to mobilize each plaintiff individually. It wasn’t a good equation.

Over seafood in San Francisco on the waterfront, one attorney sketched out for Adkisson revisions to Daniel’s Law that could make Atlas’ job easier. Adkisson took those suggestions back to the police union, which in turn used its weight in Trenton to push lawmakers to enact the changes. By December 2022, legislators introduced amendments requiring judges to impose financial penalties on websites that failed to honor removal requests, allowing those covered by the law to sue more liberally, and enabling attorneys to more easily bring big cases. In July 2023, just after the third anniversary of Daniel’s murder, the governor signed these amendments into law.

Atlas stayed focused on recruiting more users, from the police union and beyond. Newly hired staff—the company grew to a total of eight people—learned the lingo, like don’t refer to state troopers as “officers.” Adkisson let clients call him directly 24/7 for technical support. He drove his Jeep Cherokee more than 50,000 miles to every corner of the state. The Atlas team spent 18 hours on back-to-back days at a correctional facility to catch every shift, plying union guards with Crumbl Cookies and Shake Shack. “Word started to spread, like, ‘Who the hell are these people?’” Adkisson says. “That brought us credibility.”

Days before last Christmas, Atlas finished the software for users to select the companies to which they wanted to send emailed data removal requests. The tired team gathered over Zoom watching a tally rise as the emails landed in data brokers’ inboxes. Altogether, Atlas would deliver 40 million emails to 1,000 websites on behalf of roughly 20,000 people over the next five months.

Helping users with only the easy targets—the ad-supported websites that tend to pop up when googling someone’s name—“would have been a band-aid on a wound that needed much deeper treatment,” Adkisson says. To provide what it viewed as comprehensive support and more than what competitors offer, Atlas also was facilitating takedown requests to mainstream services such as Zillow and Twilio. They tend to supply data through fee-supported advanced tools that don't pop up on a standard Google query.

Twilio denies that it provides data subject to Daniel’s Law. Zillow didn’t respond to WIRED’s requests for comment. Atlas, Adkisson says, spent about $1.3 million in labor and fees to verify websites it targeted were actually providing home addresses and phone numbers.

The startup got its first response on December 26. Red Violet, whose Forewarn data dossiers help real estate agents vet potential clients, was demanding Atlas cease and desist, erroneously claiming that Daniel’s Law applied only to government agencies and not private companies. Adkisson had expected the legal teeth of the updated Daniel's Law to inspire widespread compliance. This was a rough start. “Demoralizing,” Adkisson says.

Other companies responded with demands to see ID cards of Atlas clients, apparently suspicious that the startup was making up its customers or people demanding takedowns were pretending to work in law enforcement just to be covered by the law. Adkisson told one company they could call requestors to authenticate demands. After all, it had their numbers. Another company suggested that if Atlas clients wanted anonymity, they should have used an LLC to buy property instead of their own names.

Akisson says the most retaliatory response came from LexisNexis, which lets police and businesses search for people's contact information and life history, typically for investigations and background checks. He alleges that instead of removing Atlas clients’ phone numbers and addresses from view, LexisNexis needlessly froze their entire files in its system, impeding credit checks some were undergoing for loan applications.

LexisNexis spokesperson Paul Eckloff disputes that freezing was an overreach. The company deemed that step as necessary to honor the requests submitted by Atlas users to not disclose their data. “This company couldn’t be more dedicated to supporting law enforcement,” he says. “We would support common sense protections.” But he described Daniel’s Law as overly punitive.

To Adkisson, the people being punished were the cops, judges, and other government workers he had met on his Jeep excursions through New Jersey. Among them were police officers Justyna Maloney, 38, and her husband, Sergeant Scott Maloney, 46, who work in Rahway, a tiny city along the border with New York City.

In April 2023, Justyna was filmed by a YouTuber who runs the channel Long Island Audit, which has over 842,000 subscribers. He often films himself trying to goad police into misbehavior, and Justyna asking him to leave a government office became his newest viral hit. Followers inundated the Rahway Police’s Facebook page with about 6,500 comments, including death threats, slurs, and links to the Maloneys’ address and phone numbers on SearchPeopleFREE.com and Whitepages. Scott says Facebook wouldn’t remove the comments linking to the contact information. Neither would the police department, citing First Amendment concerns. Tensions boiled.

In August 2023, Scott received texts demanding $3,000 or “your family will be responsible for paying me in blood.” The texts listed his sister’s name and address. An hour later, the same number sent a video of two ski-masked individuals bearing guns inside an unknown location. Atlas wasn’t up and running yet, so Scott, determined to delete all his family’s contact data online, sat on his lagoonside deck every evening for weeks, crushing Michelob Ultras to stay calm as he navigated takedown forms. He put in so many requests to Whitepages for his family that it barred him from making more.

The Facebook comments linking to the Maloneys’ address only came down after they sued their bosses last November for violating Daniel’s Law. This past January, a state judge ruled that the risk to the couple “far outweighs” potential harm to the police department from censorship complaints.

As Adkisson looked to sue noncompliant data websites, he had no trouble signing up the Maloneys as plaintiffs. And because Daniel’s law now made it possible, thanks to Atlas and the police union’s lobbying, to collect guaranteed penalties from data websites, Adkisson had been able to secure five law firms, including prominent national firms Boies Schiller Flexner and Morgan & Morgan, and some attorneys who personally knew the Daniel of “Daniel’s Law.”

On February 6, Atlas and the legal team began filing lawsuits, naming the Maloneys and about 20,000 other clients as plaintiffs. In state court, 110 cases remain unresolved across five different counties. Thirty-six lawsuits are being contested in federal court before Judge Harvey Bartle III, who is based in Philadelphia but commutes across the Delaware River to Camden, New Jersey, because judges based in the state were conflicted out by virtue of being eligible for Daniel’s Law protections.

Eight defendants quickly filed motions to dismiss in state court, but they were all denied. At the federal level, most companies are arguing together that the New Jersey statute violates their First Amendment right to freedom of speech. It’s an argument that’s allowed personal information to stay online before. Federal courts have given leeway to publication of lawmakers’ contact information and actors’ birthdates, leaving doubts over whether cops and judges and their homes and phones would fare any better.

Defendants have told Bartle to consider a US Supreme Court decision in 2011 that found a law in Vermont that protected doctors’ privacy unreasonably singled out data use by drugmakers. Atlas’ foes view Daniel’s Law as similarly arbitrary because it holds New Jersey agencies to different standards than their companies when it comes to keeping data private. They also say it’s unfair that they must remove numbers that cops still list on personal websites.

Some companies fighting the lawsuits note that the $1,000 penalty that the law guarantees may lead to companies acting out of fear and removing more data than needed, or honoring requests that are actually invalid. What’s more, these defendants say that Atlas’ true motivation is money. They claim that instead of trying to quickly protect those already signed up when last year’s amendments passed, Atlas sought out more users to run up the potential monetary judgment and duped them into paying for protections they could exercise for free themselves.

Adkisson disputes the accusations. He says Atlas needed time to finish its platform and ensure it was able to properly log usage, so that judges wouldn’t dismiss cases based on technicalities like takedown requests ending up in spam folders. The startup also won’t be profiting from the lawsuit, he says. Two-thirds of any proceeds will go to the users represented; anything he and Atlas are left with after covering the costs of bringing the lawsuits would be donated to law enforcement charities and privacy advocacy groups through Atlas’ nonprofit arm, Coalition for Data Privacy and Security. Privacy is “a very real, tactical, and visceral need,” Adkisson says.

He was reminded of that this past May when he took WIRED in his Jeep to meet with Peter Andreyev, a cop in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, and president of the statewide Policemen's Benevolent Association. Around dusk that day, Adkisson handed Andreyev a search result for his name on DataTree.com, a website that sells property records. Andreyev slipped on his black-rimmed glasses and brought his linebacker figure toward a conference table to review the page. It took him just two seconds to tense up. “Oh shit,” he said.

He stared at a street-view image of his home, and a birds-eye shot with his address overlaid. The square footage was in there too, for good measure. His head visibly rattling and legs restless, Andreyev pounded the table. “I—I’m pretty infuriated by this.”

Like many law enforcement officers, the 51-year-old rarely goes a day without nightmares about some known thug or detractor attacking him and his family. The DataTree printout reinforced for him that it would take just a few clicks for anyone to target him in the vulnerability of his own home. WIRED pulled up Andreyev’s report from DataTree with just a free trial.

As Andreyev continued to study the page, Adkisson pointed out something he viewed as particularly galling. In February, Atlas had sued First American, the $6 billion title insurance company that operates DataTree, for allegedly not complying with removal requests. Andreyev had been listed as one of the lead plaintiffs, alongside the Maloneys. In the following weeks, DataTree removed Andreyev’s address from one section of the search result for his name but left it up on the map that Andreyev was now staring at. “That’s no way compliant,” Andreyev said. “Fuck, it pisses me off.” First American declined to comment. As the legal battle plays out, Andreyev says he's left to continue looking over his shoulder—even at home.

The antidote of making officers more difficult to find could require greater creativity from those investigating or advertising to them, says Neil Richards, a Washington University School of Law professor and author of Why Privacy Matters. But it doesn’t make the work impossible. Richards, who isn’t involved in the Atlas litigation, says courts need to recognize that “privacy protections are a fundamental First Amendment concern, and one that's even more important than a company's ability to make money trafficking in phone numbers and home addresses.”

In the coming months, Judge Bartle will decide whether cops and judges living in fear imperils public safety. If so, he’ll have to settle whether Daniel’s Law is the least onerous solution. A loss for Atlas and its clients would effectively be treating “anything done with information” as free expression, Richards says, and stymie further attempts to regulate the digital world.

On the other hand, a victory for Atlas could be a boon for its business. Adkisson says tens of thousands of people across the country have joined the company’s waiting list: prison nurses, paramedics, teachers. All of them, he adds, anticipating someday gaining the same removal power as New Jerseyans. Since the beginning of 2023, at least seven states have passed similar measures to Daniel’s Law. None of those, however, include the monetary penalty that gets lawyers interested in pursuing enforcement. “Step one is, win here,” Adkisson says, referring to New Jersey.

After the dispiriting start, he thinks momentum is swinging in Atlas’ favor. In August, the startup raised its first funding since 2021, about $8.5 million in litigation financing and equity investment.

Adkisson says compliance with more recent removal requests is increasing, and a few defendants are settling. In September, a state judge approved the first deal, in which NJParcels.com owner Areaplot admitted to 28,230 violations of Daniel’s Law and accepted five years of oversight. PogoData, a revenue-less website that had made property owners’ names searchable, settled this month. Bill Wetzel, its 79-year-old hobbyist owner, would owe $20 million for breaching the deal but he says he supports removing names of officers in harm’s way.

Then again, against the better-funded defendants with more at stake and unpredictable courts, Adkisson recognizes that a broader victory for privacy and Atlas is uncertain. In telling his story, he wants to ensure there’s opportunity for people to learn from any missteps if Atlas fails. But his advisers, including former boss Steve Avalone, don’t expect Adkisson to give up easy. They describe him as the ultimate gadfly—unorthodox, tenacious, and wealthy. “There’s few people with that horsepower and that charisma,” Avalone says.

For his part, Adkisson says he’s driven by a sad truth. The tragedies, fueled in part by contact information online, that judge Salas wanted to bring an end to after her son’s murder haven’t stopped. Last October, a man allegedly shot to death Andrew Wilkinson, a Maryland state judge, who hours earlier had denied the man custody of his child. The National Center for State Courts said it was the third targeted shooting of a state judge in as many years.

Maryland investigators say they believe the now-deceased assailant found Wilkinson’s address online, though they never recovered definitive evidence beyond a search query for the judge’s name. When he heard about the murder the day it happened, Adkisson immediately googled Wilkinson. His address was right there.

[getvalentined]

I love when folks ask me Fandom Old questions and I get to be like "Yeah, uh, that's from my old online RP group, no it's not canon at all, yes we just made it up, no we did not claim it was canon but the mid to late aughts were a strange time."

It's honestly a shock to realize how often this has happened. I mentioned earlier that Reno's fanon surname came from this same group, but that's not even the half of it. I once made a bunch of screenshot manips based on the most ridiculous ships anyone could think of—someone slapped a random line of text onto one of them and to this day it's used as a "cringe FF7 fandom" meme. I saw it on the twits a bit back and almost fell out of my goddamn chair.

If you've ever heard Scarlet referred to with the surname "West," read about Tseng fighting with metal fans, seen Elena's older sister being called Anna instead of Emma, come across Vincent portrayed as having a PhD in spite of being a Turk, or caught references somewhere to Grimoire experimenting on Vincent as a child, that started with this group. That was us.

One of the funniest examples of this, for me specifically, is that we don't actually know which arm Veld is missing? The fandom generally goes with his left because that's how I drew him in the first picture of the guy ever posted on devart way back in 2005, but it may very well be his right. I've seen people offer "proof" that it's his right based on a scene in the opening cutscene, but you can't tell there either, and with BC's graphics there's literally no way to tell on his sprite.

Hell, this year we found out everyone's assumed timeline of the Kalm fire is wrong, and that's our fault too because we made some assumptions about Felicia's age for an LJ RP that were entirely wrong. She's around Zack's age, not Sephiroth's! She's old enough to run with a terrorist group in BC, but she was a child when Kalm burned, and that happened in 1997—we know this because NPCs in Rebirth literally refer to the fire in Kalm having happened "just ten years ago." Veld has only had his prosthetic for three years when BC starts. (This also implies that, contrary to popular belief, Veld may actually be younger than Vincent. Vincent may have been the senior partner, and that's why he was sent to Nibelheim alone while Veld was left at headquarters.)

We were really wrong on this! But we were working with what we had. There's no canon evidence for the vast majority of these things (the most notable exclusion here is Vincent being educated) but we weren't claiming there was. We were filling gaps, and canon was so sparse that we had a lot of gaps to fill. So if it turns out that Veld lost his right arm, then I'll just have to start drawing him that way—because losing his left was never canon.

Tragically, there's nothing any of us can do to make people stop assuming these things are canon at this point; there aren't a lot of us still in the fandom, and it's not like any of us have those old chatlogs anymore. People from this RP group have DIED since those days. It's been over 20 years since most of us met, and around 15 since most of us were in a public fannish space together.

"Prove it," people say, and I literally can't. Do you know how many computers I've been through since then? 75% of the platforms we used no longer exist. This all started on a BBCode forum! There is no proof!

But...there's no evidence any of these things are canon, either, so maybe think about that? The Kalm fire, Tseng's weapon of choice, Veld's arm, character surnames—none of these are retcons because there was no lore there to retcon. We made it up for our specific purposes, and it escaped containment in an era when there was really no way to do online contact tracing.

It's just one of the weirdest feelings in the world to see younger folk arguing about A or B point in canon, about X or Y retcon—referencing something my friends and I thought up at like 10 o'clock at night on a now-defunct IM client in August of 2005, because we needed something to refer back to for a specific scene in an RP and the source material had nothing to offer.

Absolutely fucking bonkers.