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sweetcherrystar · 6 years ago

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Bloggo! - Trust Fall

Today’s topic is friends. We need and want them, but damn are the real ones hard to find. It’s like the scene in Shawshank Redemption where the guys are looking for rocks for Andy to make his chess set and Haywood only finds a “horse apple” (petrified horse poo.) Finding really real friends, the kind we read about in books growing up, the kind we see in movies and shows who stick together and have crazy adventures, well, let’s just say you’re going to find quite a few horse apples before you get an actual piece of quartz.

Granted, we think back to our youth, a time where as children and teens, there was always a best friend or six to be found. Sometimes you put them on a numbered list. (”You’re number one, but piss me off and I’ll knock you down a few places!”) There was a best friend for every situation, every season, every activity. More often than not, it changes, but there are usually one or two who remain consistent, the kind you actually stay friends with for life and you still talk from time to time and still love each other. But alas, we grow up and grow apart. Hell, even The Babysitters Club disbanded and didn’t much care for each other in those depressing end books. (Think Mary Anne watching her house burn down and thinking, “This is fine.” Or was that a meme? At any rate...)

It takes time to find the best friend peanut butter to your best friend jelly. (Takes even longer to not giggle a little bit at that metaphor. Perv.) You know how long it took me to find my damn ride or die? 37 YEARS! (As I have not yet been given permission to use her name, I’ll just refer to her as Boo, because I call her that anyway and she responds to it in a crowded Walmart.) Until I met Boo, it was my wife’s job to put up with me. She was all I had. (Wife’s name is Christina. What, is she going to sue me? It’s not worth her while to pay attorney fees only to come out in the end with only ownership to my “Fucking Fabulous” coffee mug.) Anyway, until I met Boo, I’m positive I was a huge pain in Christina’s ass for awhile. She had a best friend quite awhile before I did and yes, my eyes flashed a little green about it for a bit, but then I met Boo and we clicked in a way I’m sure only those who may have been conjoined twins in a past life do.

Boo and I have the kind of friendship that outsiders look at and think, “Those two must have been friends since the beginning of time!” (And probably also something along the lines of, “Who left the gate at the nuthouse open again?”) The first time we ever hung out together, we talked and took selfies and bonded as though we’d always been friends. We’re silly and sappy, we wear matching clothes, we have an arsenal of inside jokes, and even a theme song for sweet crispy crap’s sake. This all in the course of seven months! We have also, in that short time, been through situations and life events that most friends take years to go through and find comfort levels with. I can text her a rant about whatever is annoying me at that particular moment at some weird hour like 9:30 p.m. when she’s probably asleep, and she can do the same with me at some weird hour like 3:30 a.m. when I’m probably asleep. We can call each other in hysterical tears, have an entire conversation in facial expressions, and allow ourselves to be seen by the other with no makeup and unkempt hair, the “I look like I was run over by a truck” look.

Trust is the single most important factor when you find those real friends.That, my darlings, does not happen overnight. It took about four months for me to stop being afraid to trust Boo. I get that four months isn’t a long time, but when you talk practically every day and spend lots of time together, any relationship is going to progress a bit faster. Yes, I had those hypothetical and irrational moments of fear where I was convinced she was going to break up with me, but as Christina was quick to point out, it was all in my head, based on past screwings over, and besides, Boo never did one thing to make me question her trust or her loyalty. So when I finally stopped trying to fly away like a frightened bird, I was able to relax about everything and realize that yes, I found that best friend from all my books and movies.

That trust and relaxation allowed me to open up to (shit I forgot to ask permission to use her name, so I’ll call her Ethel because we’re like Lucy and Ethel in that we’re a redhead and a blonde, but we’re like the non-wholesome version. The real Lucy and Ethel worked in a chocolate factory and hilarity ensued, whereas the two of us are more likely to come up with a plan on how to dispose of a body in one and what would ensue is a Dateline special.) Ethel and I met through an acquaintance and developed an instant rapport based on the fact that we’re twisted individuals who enjoy cutting up, drinking, and skipping hand in hand through Universal Studios. When two people get each other on that level, they’re pretty much bound to be friends and definitely partners in crime. Literally. Ethel and I don’t have a theme song (yet) but we do have a slogan that I will not post until we either copyright it or put it on t-shirts that we wear as we skip. I’m learning to trust Ethel. It hasn’t been as long, so there are still going to be moments of me pulling back out of fear, but we’re moving along nicely. We’ve promised to always be honest and loyal and open, and so far it’s been working. I mean, Ethel once blew off a freaking date for me because I was upset about something and needed her. People who do that are some rare ass gems, even though you would think that after high school, people would quit dropping their friends like sacks of dirt because they meet someone. You. Would. Think. Ethel doesn’t play that. Neither does Boo, for that matter. Boo met the love of her life around the same time she met me and she has never ever once made me feel like I don’t matter to her. Not one time. That girl has my back and I’m damn proud I’ve got her in my life!

So let’s sum up what we’ve learned today, shall we?

- You’re going to pull up a lot of horse apples in the field of friendship before you find quartz and soapstone for your custom chess set.

- The way The Babysitters Club ended kind of depressed us, didn’t it?

- Find the person you can act completely insane around. The crazier, the better!

- But not Boo because she’s mine.

- Also find someone you would be okay sharing a cell with, be it in the crazy house or the pokey.

-Finally, real friends will make you feel like a priority, not an option.

#friendship partnersincrime friendshipgoals

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