#friends in my phone i love u so so much

[emily-prentits]

i love having little friends in my phone that i can put in my pocket. i just took a friend around with me while i did tasks :) we talked about jemily :)

[brynnmclean]

saw a post questioning shipping Senua and Thórgestr and started to reblog it with a tag novel-- felt weird about doing that since this is lengthy and potentially derailing, so making my own post instead. Spitballing under the cut:

First off, any time someone is like, "the real reason people ship this is because they find the dude attractive," this is SO funny to me as someone who doesn't find men attractive IRL and has fiercely loved Senua since I played the first game, like-- actually I find the dynamic between those two characters to be compelling and interesting precisely because of all the baggage between them re: their backgrounds, the rough (put mildly!) beginning of their relationship, all the things they don't talk about, and them finding a common enemy/common ground to work with. The explicit parallels between them stated in-game scratched an itch in my brain. The minute they pointed out the dark rot on his arm, it was like, "oh! hello there! NOW I'm interested in whatever your whole deal is" for me. Also, idk man, I too would follow Senua around after she knocked me into the dirt and then showed me a way to fight the giants that I very much wanted to fight instead of appease.

The idea that Thórgestr was part of the Orkney Raid that killed and mutilated Dillion is VERY interesting food for thought, even if I don't personally have that headcanon (surely there are more viking raiding groups than just the Bjorg). I think the Furies or the Shadow said something similar about Fargrimr (his kin murdered yours, you shouldn't save him, etc.) so I completely get that line of thought, but I think the game left it ambiguous enough that it's up for interpretation. Would I read fic with that premise? Yeah, I'd check that out. Could Senua forgive Thorgestr if his people were involved? Sounds fun to explore.

If (ha, when?) I write fic, I'd have to think more about it especially wrt timelines, like when did the Bjorg start specifically raiding for slaves for giant food sacrifices vs. killing people for resources and wealth? How far off are we from the old gods "dying" and the volcano erupting? Was it indeed a different group of raiders who made a deal with Zynbel, attacked Senua's home, and made the sacrifice at that time to Hela?

At the very least, I think there's a time jump between the end of Hellblade I and the beginning of Hellblade II since Senua wasn't alone on that slave ship and at least one of the (brief) survivors knew her by name. I wouldn't mind exploring that gap of time, too.

In any case I do agree that it would take a VERY long time for Senua to consciously catch feelings for anyone let alone Thorgestr with all their collective baggage. The idea of them having a relationship beyond friendship in the far off future of an AU where he survives is the only one that can make sense in my brain, personally. It would take time! Time they didn't get in the game! But I think there are a lot of different roads that could take, and some of them might be healthier than others. Shipping them certainly isn't forgetting or excusing what happened to Dillion-- or even mutually exclusive from still shipping Senua and Dillion. Or, frankly, also shipping Senua and Astridr, because I can see that ship too.

One of the nice things about all the details Ninja Theory didn't expand upon and that they left that ending so open is that the sky's the limit. I'm VERY interested in seeing fandom tackle this game as we get farther from the initial release.

[cerealmonster15]

silver 😑 with his one(1) facial expression + the two most expressive people on this earth that he hangs out with every day

and kalisil :3

[snowangeldotmp3]

btw i have like. a ton of posts saved up in my likes from where i've had zero energy (once again bc of evil retail job) so. they're all going into the processing vortex

[the-good-luck-anomaly]

WOUND UNDER THE CUT. CW FOR WOUND

[ecstarry]

i was today's years old when i was told you can GROUP servers into a folder on discord???

[soggypotatoes]

man. sometimes I think about. like. I'm really gonna have to. make myself go to sleep, every night, for the rest of my life, huh.

it's such an ordeal. every!! single!! night!!! I have to think about how I'm going to get to sleep. I haven't slept unmedicated in 10 years now, and even with multiple medications, it's a pain. bc I have to THINK of something. I find something to do, usually on my phone, and I keep doing it until I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. then I put the phone down, and I have to think of something to do while I'm going to sleep.

Ive asked people what they think about before going to sleep, but nobody ever gives me an answer. I think they must just... go to sleep, I guess? cause Ive tried so many things. sometimes I do math. or I try to recount all the information Ive learned that day. I meditate - which is hard, because I'm too tired to keep myself focussed. I create stories, I try to imagine my dog's dreams, what his life might have looked like as a puppy. every SINGLE night I have to come up with something, bc if I don't, I Will Not Sleep. it's like when people say they're sick of thinking of meals 3x a day, except for sleep. fuck, man

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[dizzybevvie]

boy how do you reblog such great things

been cultivating my dash for years. i also found most of them in my drafts

[dykedivorce]

dreamt about reuniting with my friend on the 5th anniversary of the last time we talked. hm. not a big dream interpreter but I feel like it might mean something

[redrocketpanda]

Started doing a job application this evening and actually starting to feel more positive about things. I have a temp job set to start on Tuesday until the start of August (and will hopefully be able to find another placement if I need to) so that's a huge weight off my shoulders for the immediate future. But finding jobs that I actually really want to do has been surprisingly motivating and gives me hope for near future times

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[hella1975]

listening to call your mom rn (god it feels wrong spelling it like that)

gripping u by the shoulders. this song is everything to me.

[ratbubos]

🌹A Happier New Years <3

It was already past midnight but regardless, Lucie spent the last couple hours of the night happy :)

[sentofight]

ooc. perhaps it is time i should try p/ersona 5 crossover in another eden sdlfkjsdlfkjs ok. i've been pushing it until i finish the t/ales ones but welp. i did finish one but still have not maxed y/uri and velvet. and the next one got the arise cast and i haven't played it yet. k me. so was considering c/rono cross but kid can wait a little bit haha. or not. will see if my phone wont flip on me for abusing it for a while.