#freya ridings live at the apollo is good because i was THERE for that one

[lenacarstairspotterstewart]

we need more live albums. and i don’t just mean live recordings of individual songs i mean the experience

the audience singing along

transitions so good that if you close your eyes you can’t tell where one song ends and the next begins because it’s so smooth it’s like you’re there

the conversations you get at gigs that just improve the vibes every time

[eclecticpagann]

Before we dive in, a heads-up: my posts can get a bit lengthy. But if you’re here for the journey, I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.

By now, you probably know I treat this blog as a bit of a personal journal. I love sharing my experiences because, in the end, maybe they’ll help someone else on their own path.

So, here we are—another update following yesterday’s post. I was so thrilled that someone understood what I’ve been going through that I just jumped right in without telling the whole story. Today, I’m here to fill in the gaps.

A little background about me—vulnerability included. My health, both mental and physical, isn’t always the best. I’ve had lifelong struggles with motivation (as I once shared in a post about Apollo), and that’s made keeping my home in order a real challenge. Living with chronic illness and dealing with mental dips has been frustrating, especially when I can’t keep up with the basic things I want to do, like cleaning.

That brings us back to the experience I mentioned yesterday. I left out a small detail initially, thinking it wasn’t significant, but here we go. I had been talking to Hel’s candle, seeking some kind of clarity, and naturally, I turned to something I trust deeply: my tarot deck.

With my mind racing at the thought of Hel reaching out, I struggled to form a question. Finally, I landed on something along the lines of, What am I experiencing in this connection?

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

The cards seemed to play along, either staying perfectly in place or scattering when my fingers fumbled. Heart pounding, I shuffled again.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

Finally, a single card jumped out: Ten of Swords, Reversed. I felt a pang of nerves—we all know that swords can be intense. Still, I grabbed my guidebook, a precious one my mother wrote. She compiled meanings from her own journey, blending research and intuition. Her insight has guided me through so many readings.

With shaky fingers, I flipped to the page. The reversed Ten of Swords was full of healing—specifically, “Steady improvement in health and an indication that any losses are in the past.” At the time, it didn’t make much sense in the context of Hel, so I dismissed it, thinking maybe it was a misdraw.

But this morning, I woke up feeling…different. No nausea, no headache, none of the pain that usually plagues me. I felt strong, ready to tackle the cleaning I’d been putting off. I haven’t felt this good in ages. I got to work, making a dent in my to-do list, taking breaks but feeling genuinely fulfilled.

And then it clicked. Hel was showing me that I’d have the strength I needed, guiding me to reclaim some control over my life. It was her nudge to get up and take action. She was helping me.

So, of course, I thanked her in every way I could think of. I picked a fresh mum from my garden for her altar (and one for Aphrodite, because fairness is everything). I promised Hel I’d set up her altar before Apollo’s—a promise I’m genuinely excited to keep. I’ve never felt this kind of connection to a deity, not even Aphrodite reached out in my lowest moments quite like this.

I’ll admit, though, a part of me still questions if it’s really her. But my mom’s friend, who has an incredible gift for this kind of sensing, might be able to help confirm it. He once saw Freya watching over my mom without knowing she’d felt drawn to her, so I feel reassured in asking.

If you have gotten this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate each of you who has joined me on this wild, unfolding journey.