#frankly I’d rather not block you because I do like some of your content and takes

[imababblekat]

Pushing Buttons

Anon Request, “ Love your content it’s sooo cute! Can I get a snarky sarcastic reader who calls April for a chat on speaker phone then gets into a funny argument with Ralph trading jabs. Like he tries to get April to hang up because their in the middle of something important but reader gives him a snappy comeback. They keep going with everyone listening. Tired of this April is gonna hang up on them but before that happens “Wait wait! give that guys digits he sounds hot! You know how I love pushing a guys buttons!”

A/N: I hope this is okay, gonna be honest I struggled to write this one for some reason. Hope it’s still at the very least readable \TvT/

~xXx~

April hadn’t meant to answer the phone, but Mikey curiously nudging into her had caused her to ultimately accept your request. As if to make a point at your horrible timing as April and the boys were in the mist of a game plan to take down a new gang, you’re voice rang loud through the speaker causing everyone to simultaneously jump.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!! April you are not going to believe what happened to me at work today!!”

April sighed, giving the ninja turtles apologetic glances. 

“I can’t really talk right-”

“I’ll make it quick! I swear! Okay, so I got up at seven like I usually do, right? I was really tired though, so I went to snooze my alarm and-”

Before April could politely ask you to skip ahead to what had happened at your job, the human girl was thrown for a shock when Raphael had suddenly snatched the device straight out of her hand. She went to reprimand him but all he had done was hold a large hand up to block her as he angrily snapped into the call.

“She’s busy. Call back later.”

*click*

April’s eyes had never been as wide as they were in that moment. No way did Raphael just hang up on you of all people. Said terrapin, with a triumphant grin, reached out to hand her back the phone, when it had suddenly started going off again right in his palm. If it weren’t for the growing agitation, he could have sworn it seemed to vibrate with a vengeance. With a hard tap, he answered the call ready to repeat what he had done only a few minutes ago.

“I said-”

“Excuse me!!”

Raphael felt himself fumble at your sudden shout, April standing across from him with a knowing look.

“And who the hell do you think you are, huh?! You do not cut me off when I am talking to my gal pal!!”

Raphael sputtered, caught off for but a second before snapping back.

“Who do I-?! April’s busy! I’m sure whatever little issue you got goin on at work ain’t that important!”

“Oh, and how would you know that?! You read minds huh?! I’d ask if you’re some sort of phycologist but frankly just from your voice alone I’d say you’re need of one.”

“What is that supposed to mean?!”

“I think you know what I mean, big boy.”

Raphael felt his blood boiling in that moment, his brothers Mikey and Donnie doing their best to stifle their laughter behind him while Leo simply smirked at his dismay. All the while all April could do was hide her face in her hands at the embarrassment she felt for her close friend on the line.

“Don’t call me that.”

“What? Would you rather I call you big baby instead? Ya gonna cry about it? Good, cuz sounds to me like you need to shed a few tears. It’s perfectly healthy by the way. Just thought I’d let you know that since you give off the vibe that you’d rather walk around with a stick up your ass then express your emotions.”

“A stick up my ass?! Seriously?! How about I come over and shove one up yours?! You’re just all bark and no bite!”

“Ooo, don’t promise me with a good time~.”

If it were possible, Raph’s face would match the color of his mask at your raunchy response, the suave to your tone not making things any better. It was at the sudden burst of laughter behind him from his brothers and Aprils own snickering that the brute decided in that moment the best course of action was to, once again, hang up the damn phone. 

A groan bubbled up from his throat at he tossed April back her phone, sending a glare to his still cackling siblings. 

“Will ya all stop laughin. Let’s just get back to the stupid plan.”, he glared, arms crossing.

It was Leo, who had to take a few breaths to gather himself, that brought back the others to focus.

“Okay, okay, you heard the big boy. Let’s ready up.”

Green eyes glared daggers at the leader in blue for his jab, the other winking back with a shit eating grin. Raphael stepped forward to make a quip in response to Leo, when a chortle behind him had alerted all the turtles. It was from April, who’s eyes crinkled in the corners as she did her best to bite back some giggles, holding up her phone to show what had caused such a reaction out of her. Each brother leaned in, squinting at the small text on screen and then let out more laughter, Mikey rocking a groaning Raph’s shoulders with congratulations.

On the screen before them, read a text sent by the very person who riled him up quicker then anyone on record.

*Hey girly, you gotta get me your friends digits! Dude sounds hot af 😉💗*

~xXx~

[bakugous-forehead]

No, you misunderstood. You blocked (and unblocked) me despite me reblogging and supporting authors, and it wasn’t an age in bio issue since mine is specifically posted. Anyway, touch grass. It’s so desperate and annoying to see people demanding others specifically reblog your content, everyone has a choice to post what they want. You also have a choice to block and unblock who you want. You can be a good writer without getting interaction. Imagine doing that on any other platform, begging for likes on your Instagram pics for example. You guys sound unhinged.

Oh! So it was probably misusing the tags, because that’s the only other reason I would block someone! I’m trying to think who this could be considering the people I’ve blocked and unblocked weren’t reblogging fics, and if they were I apologised for accidentally blocking them as you’ll appreciate going through a lot of followers can take some time and mistakes happen.

“You can be a good writer without getting interaction” yes you can, but don’t good writers deserve interaction? A good writer with no interaction will stop posting on tumblr and then we won’t get to read their fics anymore. How do you expect to find good fics on here when they disappear from the tags, and no one reblogs to help boost them in the algorithm?

Look at the length of this comment you’ve left me, when’s the last time you left a comment this long on someone’s fic?

I don’t care if I sound desperate, or annoying. If that’s what it takes to have people support fanfiction writers who literally spend hours of their lives (whilst juggling jobs and school) to give us content for free then I’ll be desperate and annoying.

Frankly I’d rather be desperate and annoying over embarrassing and selfish, but that’s just me.

[tea-cat-arts]

My sibling in Christ- THIS POST WASN’T ABOUT YOU! THIS POST WASN’T ME TRYING TO CLAIM EE WAS HANDLED PERFECTLY! I have other posts that actually go over my problems with the story and how I think they can be fixed (I can’t link them because tumblr has already crashed and deleted my response to this once, but I can DM them if you want). But my god, for someone who asked me TWO DAYS AGO to just DM them with this kind of conversation, you sure went straight into writing 5+ paragraphs when you could’ve just asked me if this was about you privately or responded “please clarify” publicly.

On to you’re actual arguments,

Your point here is only partially true. Though HoC is there, it’s only about to change, mutate, and move things that are already in the realm. The sims are still able to fuck with the code (see Kalpas, Kosma, Griseo, and Vill-V) and regain control over it. HoC isn’t shown to be able to fully delete anything on its own, shown by the flame chasers it corrupted being alive and just in a separate location or fantasy of theirs.

Me bringing up the unreliable narrator thing is not meant to be about every single aspect of the story, just about how Elysia presented her story and the walking through the maze thing at the end. I think it makes sense for Elysia to remember her life as everyone loving her and being kind to her (or at least to only present that part of her life to Mei), and to remember her death as this grand party. She’s established very early on to be a romantic and a liar, and one of the main themes from ER was that how something is remembered and perceived is just as important as what actually happened, so I thought it was fine that Mei just accepted it and moved on. I personally took all the flame chasers we saw post Elysia being back as Elysia and Mei’s memories of them, but I can definitely think of better ways Mihoyo could’ve gone about establishing that idea.

On the robot thing- Jesus Christ, we’ve both already bitched about the terrible programmers in charge of the realm and them doing a terrible job. I get it, WE LITERALLY HAD THIS EXACT CONVERSATION TWO DAYS AGO AND CAME TO AN AGREEMENT ON THAT POINT!

On the “Mihoyo doesn’t let you feel sad” thing- eh? Elysia does ask that of Mei repeatedly, but even in the current arc, Mei is still shown going back and forth on whether or not she feels sad in a way I’ll admit is handled really weirdly. Fu Hua and Kevin are pretty bluntly going through the 7 stages of grief though. I disagree with you on “Because of You” being intended to be a happy cutscene though. The lyrics for TruE are about longing for an embrace that’s permanently out of reach, I’m pretty sure the whole song is written in a minor key (I’m not a music nerd, don’t quote me on that), there’s the somber bit at the end that’s mostly instrumental was definitely written in a minor key… there’s just a lot of audio cues that are like “I’ve consumed enough media to know what this means but I lack the vocabulary to explain it properly” that lead me to believe that it’s still supposed to be a sad cutscene. Plus you got Ely’s monologue talking about how these are unfinished stories with tragic ends, but we have no choice to move forward.

Finally

You really want to accuse me of being condescending when you say something like that to me??? Throughout your argument, you’ve repeatedly dismissed my points as “coping” or “a convenient little explanation” when no- these are actually ideas that were established in the story. One of the major ideas in the opening arc of ER was whether or not Mobius was real, with the conclusion being “if she perceives herself as real, then she is.” They have thing on whether or not Su killed human Klein, HoC directly says “the Elysian Realm is your lie” (or something like that) and Ely does not deny it, there’s multiple discussions about how the realm changes drastically based on who’s memories your in- THE UNRELIABLE NARRATOR IS A CONSISTENT PRECEDENT IN THE STORY. That’s also why you can only find out what really happened in Sundown Ally by looking at like 5 different flame chasers accounts- because every character only has part of the story. This is also why they constantly jump between POVs throughout EE. Not every writing decision can be excused by an unreliable narrator, I was never trying to claim that, but you are being incredibly dismissive and just straight up incorrect by acting like it’s something I just made up to cope with the bad writing.

You have repeatedly asked others to simply not read things if they don’t like them and to handle matters like this privately, so now I am going to ask you to either take your own god damn advice or stop demanding that of others.

I don’t get people who use “nothing bad can happen to the flame chasers 🙄” as a critic of Elysium Everlasting. Like, ya… nothing bad happens to them there because it’s literally what the realm was designed for. It’s literally Elysia’s fantasy rest place for her friends who went through nothing but torture irl and to allow their stories to be continued to be told in the future. This isn’t a real world, these aren’t real people- these are sims in a controlled, digital environment and all their real life counterparts are either dead, wishing they were dead, or Fu Hua. This point was established so early on the story, how did y’all miss it?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Since you’ve already done Mosul Trein for the character opinion bingo, what do you think of Crewel and Grim (who is apparently counted as NRC staff?)?

Trein Character Opinion Bingo here!

Nuuu Grim is NOT categorized staff 😭 I don’t know who’s counting him as one, he’s just a little meow meow…………………….

***Standard disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions of the character(s); regardless of what I may think of them, sharing my thoughts is NOT meant to offend or to shame anyone that thinks differently.***

Oh boy, here’s another hot take from Raven on a popular character: Crewel’s just okay, he isn’t great. I enjoy bits and pieces of him, but I wouldn’t say I necessarily “like” him? I only like him in certain scenes and specific contexts.

TWST sometimes mentions that Crewel is very into fashion (which is something I can relate to), but the way he personally dresses looks so hideous to me 🤡 I can excuse his haircut, but the color blocked suit, high rise ankle pants, and that garish fur coat with the tails are ridiculous and resembles the mildly impractical kind of clothing I’d see on some fashion runways. This is an instance in which leaning too much into the character inspiration didn’t work out.

I think the main story tells us that Crewel is Adeuce, Grim, and MC’s homeroom teacher, but I don’t get the impression that he actually is aside from a few blatant reminders here and there. I feel like he should be a tiny bit more interactive with the main squad if he’s their homeroom teacher, but instead he only really shows up when the plot calls for him. It doesn’t give us a lot of base content to work with when it comes to his character, so all I get from him is that he’s haughty and proud, has fancy tastes, and is stern and even scarier when upset (kind of like a “tough love” thing). 🤡 OKAY, I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS JUST A ME THING, BUT IT MUST BE BECAUSE I NEVER HEAR ANYONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THIS: I don’t think Crewel calling his students “puppies” is cute, it just comes off to me as degrading and, quite frankly, insulting :/ A PUPPY IS JUST LIKE A BABY EXCEPT WITH FUR... so it’s like a teacher is calling you a baby to your face. It drives me insane, because it comes across as Crewel looking down on his students rather than treating them as his equals or as people worthy of respect, and it doesn’t make him appear approachable.

In some events (like Scary Monsters! and Fairy Gala), we get to see more to him and how he engages with the other characters, students and staff alike. It shows me that Crewel is much more interesting when he’s NOT actively teaching. We can see that he is truly passionate about fashion, and that while he is usually strict, he also advocates for letting loose every now and again, and has a more forward-thinking mindset than Trein, who is pretty old-fashioned. It’s great fun seeing Crewel and Trein butt heads over their differences, be it modernism vs traditionalism, dogs vs cats, etc.

I think most of why I don’t like Crewel is because a lot of the stuff I see in the fandom only focuses on this particular interpretation in which Crewel is................................. (Michard, please forgive me for saying this and sullying the name of your expansive media empire) “daddy”???????? Like, he’s portrayed as extremely smug and domineering, someone who won’t compromise at all, and that’s not appealing to me. I much prefer the Crewel who will scold his students for misbehaving one second then tell them it’s okay to let their hair down as long as it’s not in his classroom the next, the Crewel who will give treats to good boys like Grim, the Crewel who will butt heads and fight for what he stands for.

OH, AND ONE THING WE DON’T GET ENOUGH OF??????? SHOW ME SCIENCE CLUB ADVISOR CREWEL, TWST DEVS. I AM NO LONGER ASKING. It would be so funny to see Crewel trying to keep a lid on Rook in the lab, or overseeing Trey using club time to bake even though you’re not supposed to eat science experiments. There’s a lot of untapped potential in this club dynamic, and I really hope TWST seizes the opportunity and properly showcases their zany antics sometime soon. (No lie, I kind of headcanon Crewel as being like a father figure to Trey and Rook 😇 like he’s more stern with, but also more protective of, his science club children.....................)

AT LAST 🥺 I CAN GUSH ABOUT GRIMMUGRIMMU MY FURBABY 

He is, by default, the best boy in the game on account of being a fluffy cute kitty (no matter how much he claims he’s not one). I love his sassy little face, that tuft of white fur on his chest, the mysterious blue flames, and his pronged tail ✨ Whenever Grim gets a new outfit, my heart just feels all warm and fuzzy! I only wish he got more of them, because he deserves a whole closet of fancy accessories and outfits. He at LEAST needs a ribbon for each of the dorms (we’ve had Heartslabuyl and the standard striped one for Ramshackle so far), an outfit for each event (technically we’ve only had Halloween and Harveston), and a Grim version of each of the standard looks each main boy gets (School Uniform and Labwear were released as anniversary cards; I’m hoping we get Ceremonial Robes Grim next anniversary).

Grim is actually important and has an impact on the main story, AND he’s a genuine friend to MC through all those hot messes. He can be grating and cause trouble, but then again, what friend doesn’t? He feels so raw and real, like the type of friend you’d constantly bicker with because you’re just that close and you can totally understand that the other person doesn’t mean any genuine harm when they sass back. “Minion” never feels insulting to me, it just feels like a dumb nickname my best friend would call me just to be cheeky. It’s clear that Grim and MC care for each other and can poke fun of the other without it coming across as malicious. Sometimes he reminds me of my pet (not just because of how he looks), cuz he’s sassy, bratty, demanding, and easily motivated by food… but I love Grim, just as I love my pet, all the same.

Grim is the one and only character who has been with us since the very start. Fuck Crowley, fuck Adeuce, fuck Malleus, fuck ALL the TWST characters (yes, even the ones I really love); Grim is the REAL first friend we ever made in Twisted Wonderland, and he is the one we are closest to in the game, the one we spend the most time with. He’s our roommate, and our literal other half as a student. He was always with us through circumstance, but was those circumstances that brought you closer to him. He IS a piece of our world.

… And he’s also kinda dumb and eats suspicious rocks he just finds lying around on the floor BUT HEY there’s plot significance in that, so I’ll allow it 😤 I really like that “haha Grim eats rocks, how funny” was super relevant and is actually culminating into something sinister in the main story. It really hurts to see a good friend going down a dark path 😭 I just wish TWST had gone more “all the way” in some aspects of it… Like when Grim attacks MC, I thought it would have been something more substantial than just a cat scratch??????? I personally think it would have worked better because taking a harder hit would have left MC with a more evident physical reminder that Grim was changing into something they didn’t recognize anymore. A larger/deeper wound would better allude to how truly powerless MC is in this world (something not often directly addressed in the narrative), and it brings up the fragility of human life (which seems to be a major theme being foreshadowed for episode 7). But oh well, what’s done is done and I’ll accept that. It works just fine as is, since it was mentioned that the catscratch was the first time Grim ever hurt or tried to purposefully attack MC.

Episode 6 was already very emotionally touching between the story of the Shroud brothers and the character development for the other OB boys, but something else that resonated with me were the few Grim scenes we got. We witness him being kidnapped, and we see MC’s desperation to get him back, the distance that MC is willing to go for their dear friend 🥺 Meanwhile, Grim wakes up in an unfamiliar place, finding himself completely alone… AnD THE pOOR BqBY CRiES 😭 because unlike when MC first “woke up”, no one is there to greet him. Where’s his buddy? Why’s he in this weird place, subjected to all these tests by strange people? Why does he have these scary memories of hurting his friend? Is he… a bad person? No, no, Grim is good. Right? He has to be… It must be so scary being in Grim’s shoes… and can you imagine the relief he feels when he sees MC and Adeuce again???????? POOR BABY CRIES AGAIN, he’s finally free, he’s finally home. I JUST WANNA HUG HIM AND NEVER LET HIM GO.

What really scares me is that????? Grim will be sad again if MC has to return home. I don’t care how Adeuce or Malleus feel about it, I think Grim will be the one that will hurt the most. His first friend, his other half, is suddenly going away, and he’ll never be able to see them again. All those fun times and happy memories will never happen again. If I were Grim, I’d totally lose it too 😭

I think the fandom is pretty split when it comes to Grim? I see a lot of people who think he’s a cute gremlin, but I see just as many people hating on him. While every opinion is valid, I can’t say that I see eye-to-eye with some of the reasoning for the Grim hate???? I agree that his voice is annoying, but I don’t understand why people don’t like Grim for “being a shit” (because honestly, most of the main cast is shitty too) or for “taking attention away from MC”. Maybe I just don’t care as much about the latter because I’ve never been the type to self-insert as MC, I’ve just seen Grim as the main character anyway and MC as more of a sidekick or an addition to his character. Just because you are the “MC” doesn’t mean the story is actually about you, it’s very possible to frame a story from the MC’s perspective without having the focus of the narrative be on MC. I find much more entertainment in this kind of storytelling; it makes me feel like a fly on the wall watching the drama go down 👀

I also don’t think it’s fair to pin the blame on Grim when this was a very conscious decision by the TWST devs for the stories they wanted to tell. It gives the players the chance to self insert and imagine alternate scenarios as much or as little as they want!! If MC was too involved, it would have the unintentional effect of alienating people who could never see themselves doing or saying the things the game is making their MC do/say. (It’s why I personally take issue with being forced to be Malleus’s “friend”, because even though I wouldn’t want to do that, the game is making me to go out and engage with him anyway.) Grim’s just out here vibin’ and eating his canned tuna, let the kitty consume in peace 😭

If I’m being entirely honest, I wonder if part of the reason people don’t have patience with Grim (at least not compared to the other main boys) is because he isn’t a hot anime guy 😔 I really love seeing humanized Grim fan art and fanfiction, but sometimes I’m left feeling like humanized Grim would have been preferred over the original 😅 I get that we’re all here to enjoy pretty characters, but I don’t like the implication that humanized Grim somehow makes him more “palatable” to the audience. Granted, it’s not as bad as being disgusted by Trein because of his age, but it still gives the impression that Grim would be valued more if he was a conventionally attractive human. I think Grim is perfect the way he is, so 💦 you can imagine why that bothers me.

[inkandpen22]

Permanent Chaos (5/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none

Part Summary: Colson and Y/N talk over coffee and Colson shows her a hint of what it’s like to be a part of his world. 

Masterlist

The Starbucks in the courtyard has since emptied out with everyone having to return to work after their breaks. Colson and I are two of the only remaining people inside. My hands are wrapped around cup, it’s nice and warm. I had to remove the lid to cool down the substance. We’ve been going back and forth, sharing facts about ourselves. 

"Have you always wanted to be an actress?” 

Studying the dark brown drink in my cup I recall memories from before I moved here.“No, in all honesty. I never saw myself as an actress.” 

He doesn’t try to hide his surprise. His stunned reaction makes me giggle. 

"If you don’t mind me asking, why do you do it then?” 

I sway my head from side to side. “It sorta just worked out. I was out shopping with my mom one day when I was in high school. Nicole approached us. She was in town on business and encouraged me to at least visit Los Angeles so we could set up a meeting. The next thing I knew I was in auditions and I got my part on The Seasons of Life a few months later.” 

“Wow,” his brows remain raised as he glances down at his drink. “If you weren’t acting what would you be doing?”

Sitting up straight, I remember what I once thought was my dream life. “First I would go to college and…” I wave my hand, dismissing the thought. 

Colson presses for me to say it. “you’d what? Come on!” He chuckles, grinning brightly. 

Rolling my eyes, I tell him. “I’d go to art school.” I bite my lip timidly. “Yeah... that would be nice.” I pick at the cardboard wrap on the cup. 

There’s a comfortable silence between us until I change the subject. “Enough about me! What about you? If you weren’t a singer, where would be right now?” 

He looks over in the distance, almost envisioning where his life would be. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he shrugs but is pleased, “I’ve always loved music. Being in music allows me to do what I love.” 

I nod, almost impervious of him and his contentment. 

“However,” he adds pointing at me. “If it were up to my parents, I would have some office job probably.” 

"Eh, those jobs are so bland. I vote you stick to concerts," I giggle. 

He laughs and it’s contagious. 

My gaze lands on his arm as he reaches for his coffee. His entire arm is covered in ink. I was taught by my parents to despise tattoos. My mom would say, “why would anyone ever be willing to damage their body like that?” Finn jumped on that bandwagon. Whatever Mom says is considered fact to him. For the longest time, I agreed with them. That is until I met Colson. He was made to have tattoos. 

 I’ve seen many people in this city with tattoos but his aren’t just markings for the body, they’re art. 

“Which one are you interested in?” He questions, watching me as I admire them. 

“All of them,” I mumble, examining each one individually in awe. 

Back where I’m from tattoos are frowned upon quite frankly. When you grow up in a place no different than Pleasantville, that’s what you get. Especially, in South Carolina. 

“Do you have any?” He asks with amusement in his voice. 

I shake my head rapidly, “never in a million years!” Comprehending how he could take my response as an insult I’m quick to explain. “I mean, I would never be allowed.” 

His brows scrunch together. "Never been allowed? You’re an adult. Who’s stopping you?” 

I can’t help but snicker a little. If only it was as simple as he makes it sound. “My parents, brother, Nicole, Steph..." 

Colson narrows his eyes at me as he leans forward in his chair. “You’re your own person. You should be able to make your own decisions.” His argument is lacking and quite frankly too optimistic. 

“It’s complicated…” My eyes fall onto my fingers picking at the cardboard rim of my coffee cup. 

“If you say so… except all of them are keeping you from expressing yourself.” 

I roll my eyes as my lips form a smirk. It’s unbelievable, he makes everything sound so black and white. “You’ll never understand,” I conclude. 

“I understand more than you think.” 

Lifting my eyes up, he stares at me with a sincere expression. 

“Prove it,” I challenge him. 

Based on the change of his features, I have given him exactly what he wants.

"If you say so, Princess," he chuckles, rising from his chair. I stare at him in confusion and he offers me his hand. "You coming?" 

I smirk, slipping my hand into his. He grins and bites down on his lower lip. I'm going to regret this. 

_______________________________________________

Driving around with a guy I’m only acquainted to is completely unlike me. Everyone who knows me would be beyond freaked out at the current scene. It's kind of riveting. 

“We’ve been driving for almost an hour," I snicker. 

“It’ll be worth it, trust me!” 

“Where exactly are we going?” 

“The mystery is half the fun!” Colson enjoys the antics. 

I reach forward and change the radio station. Yungblud's "Parents" plays and I leave it. "Love this song," I mumble to myself. 

Colson glances over me, evidently surprised. "You know Dom's music?" 

"What? Just because you view me as a 'goody-two-shoes' doesn't mean I live under a rock." I giggle and hold my finger for him to wait a second. He chuckles. I begin to rap the lyrics from memory. "Yeah, the teacher fucked the preacher. But then he had to leave her. Had to wash away the sins of a male cheerleader. Hi, nice to meet ya, got nothing to believe in. So let me know when my breathing stops!" 

Colson turns up the volume to blasting and we then shout the chores together. I can’t remember the last time I had the chance to drive with the windows down, blasting music, and acting my age. I’ve forgotten what’s it like to just be a young girl, not working all the time. 

Once the song fades out, he turns down the volume. 

"So, she can rap too!" Colson looks at me, rather impressed. 

I dismiss his compliment with a wave of my hand. "Only if I've listened to a song a dozen times." 

"Not gonna lie, that was hot," he chuckles. 

Warmth rushes to my cheeks and I struggle not to smile. My head rests against the window as I watch the ocean become a blur as we drive down the PCH. 

_______________________________________

Colson drives down the road until there’s a dead end. To my surprise and then confusion, he parks the car. 

“We’re here!" He announces before jumping out of the car. 

There’s nothing here. Bushes, sad-looking trees, and dirt. I watch as he walks over to a clearing between some bushes. 

He peers over his shoulder. “You coming?” 

I take a deep breath and swing open the door. Following him to wherever we are, I spot a sign. 

                                   No Trespassing! 

“Hey Colson, that sign said no trespassing. We should go back.” 

He doesn’t even slow down as he walks down a weak path. “I’ve seen it, they never do anything.” 

With every passing moment, this road trip becomes more and more out of my comfort zone. Nicole and my entire team for that matter have guided me to prefer the indoors these past few years. I can’t remember the last time I spent an entire day outside in nature or not following a schedule. 

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel when the brush ends and the path opens up to a clearing. The sound of waves hitting the cliff before us echoes throughout the area. 

I cautiously step closer to the edge and look down to the bottom. “Wow!” I say to myself breathlessly. 

Colson peers down to the shoreline beside me. He then suddenly removes his jacket and moves on to his shirt. 

My jaw drops and I quickly direct my attention to the coastline far from him. I bring my hand to the side of my face shyly, blocking my sight of him undressing. “What the hell are you doing?” 

He chuckles behind me. I’m glad he can find so much amusement in my discomfort. “Cliff diving!” He says a matter of factly. 

“What! No you couldn’t! It’s illegal in these parts! You could get killed!” 

“Or, I’ll jump, have loads of fun and do it again!” He debates. 

I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine, you live out your death wish. I won’t be participating!” Whipping around and avoiding even sharing a short glance with him, I stomp toward the direction we came. 

He drops his shirt on top of his jacket in the grass and jogs to catch up to me. He squeezes my shoulder, using the other hand to plea with me. I whip my head around to face him. That's when I notice his tattoo-covered chest. 

“Oh let’s do it, Princess!" He encourages. "It’ll be thrilling! An adventure! Reckless! Something different!” 

Did he just call me Princess? No one has ever called me that and he has twice now. 

Colson takes my hand into both of his and I’m thrown off by the action.  “Be spontaneous with me,” he requests softly. 

Currently, I’m debating with myself. The youthful part of me is screaming ‘hell yes! Let’s do this!’ The businesswoman part of me is wiser than to take such a risk. I check over at the edge again. My willingness to do such a rebellious action is new to me. There’s no one here to see us. Paparazzi isn’t around to take pictures. Perhaps the cause of my newfound bravery is because of him. 

I take a deep breath and nod. “Okay, let’s do it.” 

As if he already knew I would eventually accept, his grin only grows. 

“Well then, I suggest you strip unless you prefer to sit around like a wet dog for the hour ride back.” He winks at me, biting his lower lip. 

In a normal case, I would be insulted by such a forward request but considering where we stand I find it humorous. After thoroughly checking the area for any cameras or strangers, I slip my dress over my head then kick off my wedges. An odd feeling stirs in my stomach and my heart is pounding. My comfort zone is shot to hell. 

Tossing my hair up in a ponytail, Colson scans my appearance. 

“Excuse me Mr. Baker, it’s not nice to stare,” I tease, yanking at my finished ponytail to tighten it. 

Unfazed, he snaps out of it and faces the shore. His hair wisps around in the breeze, falling over his face. The perfect strands are just as light as his eyes. His jawline could cut a diamond. His skin, as smooth as porcelain but covered in various tattoos. 

“Excuse me Miss Voss, it’s not nice to stare,” he repeats my words back to me. 

I snap out of my daze. “Wasn’t staring,” I argue, now turning towards the coast. 

“Nothing to be ashamed of, I know I'm hot.” His lips curve into a loose smirk. 

My time with him is often one big eye roll. I slowly approach the edge of the cliff, peering over. 

“Nervous?” He checks, looking down at the water for himself. 

“Nope." I lie. 

“Scared?” 

“No.” 

“Have you jumped from a cliff before?” 

I exhale deeply. “No.” 

He shifts his body to face me and I flicker my eyes to the side to meet his gaze. 

“And you’re not afraid?” He checks. 

“Not at all,” I admit without hesitation. 

He snickers, whether it be because he’s impressed or he doesn’t believe me. “How come?” 

I shrug, a brief hum for an answer escaping me. “The unknown doesn’t scare me, only challenges me… and I love a challenge,” I wink with a sly grin. 

His warm hand interlocks with mine and I nearly yank mine away yet because of the non-threatening look in his eyes, I stay. In fact, a part of me likes the feeling of his large hand in mine. It makes me feel safer than I have in quite some time. 

“On three” he exhales, staring off into the distance. 

I nod. 

“One," he counts. “Two...”

I exhale. I can't believe I'm doing this! 

"Three!" Colson shouts. 

I jump. Out of instinct, I squeeze Colson’s hand tighter. My voice travels in a scream as the two of us fall towards the crystal blue surface. He was right, this is such a rush! We torpedo into the water and the cold temperatures engulf me. Colson and I lose touch at some point then I kick to the surface. Wiping the excess water from my face, Colson pops up from under the water in front of me. Somehow even when wet and disheveled his hair still appears effortlessly pristine. 

“Wasn't that a rush!” His arm snakes around my waist. 

A part of me is begging for me to protest but I suppress that part of me. Instead, I rest my arms over his shoulders. He takes the opportunity to guide my legs around his waist. Shading my eyes from the sun with my hand I measure the height of where we jumped. 

Still struggling to catch my breath, I can’t help but smile widely. “It was a one-time opportunity!” 

“That’s up to you to decide!” he argues wittily. 

I lower my hand and his blue eyes see right through me. My eyes flicker down to his lips and impulsively, I slam my lips to his. I'm not sure what comes over me, but I needed to kiss him. Colson wastes no time, bringing a hand behind my head, deepening the kiss. We break apart only to catch our breath. 

“I believe you’ll prove to be a bad influence,” I say lightheartedly but between the lines with the utmost seriousness. 

“That depends on how you look at it,” he argues, his breathing inconstant.

Hungrily, he brings his lips back to mine and I melt into it. Colson is everything that’s bad for me. He’s an indulgence that’s disguising itself as a need. He’s toxic and I’m ignoring the warnings. The warmth of his palm radiates onto my face as he cups it. 

Against my lips, he grins. “You were spontaneous! Always be spontaneous!” His words, nearly sounding like a beg, settle in me. 

His crystal blues eyes stare into mine and I can’t help but be addicted. I'm falling for a fairytale.

________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags:  @canyoubuymetoast​ @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa56 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxrl @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresixx @thysagclub​ @hockeybabe87​

[1kook]

Hi Everyone, please read

tw// racism

First of all, I just wanna say I’m so grateful for all the nice anons and interactions I get to have with people here everyday. I live in a densely populated city so quarantine regulations were super tough when this all started in March and remain strict even all the way into October. I haven’t been able to see my friends a lot or anyone outside of my family and job, which really sucked, but it was fine because I had my blog! The beginning of September I had two fics that did so amazing and of which I am so thankful for their response, because with that came a lot of new anon friends!

I have been on tumblr since 2012, but I have never received the same amount of interaction as I do now. I’m so happy I can interact with people on here be it anonymous or not. I enjoy hearing ideas and doing my best to fulfill them, hearing about someone’s day, and laughing about stupid jokes. It’s gotten to the point where some have picked names and further fleshed out our friendships because of how close we’ve gotten!! I have had so much fun everyday asking stupid questions and getting equally as silly answers and it’s all because I was able to make people feel comfortable on my blog.

However, people are not always nice. That’s fine! It’s the internet, this will always happen. Rarely do I get hateful anons and rarely do I post the few I do get. Sometimes they’re funny and I laugh and go about my day. Most anons have been about my style as an author, the types of fics I put out, and for the most part, the similarity in all my fics. I’ll address this now. if you feel my fics are all the same then consider this.

1. I write fics FOR MYSELF about ideas I have and want to see, and post them FOR MYSELF. I don’t mean to sound cocky but at the end of the day every fic i have ever posted is just me filling my own imagination in a self indulgent way. They’re all the same because they’re all things I like??? Things I want to read??? No offense, but unless I am filling a requests, you’re GONNA SEE jk college au. jk boyfriend. jk dom/sub. jk this and this. Why? Because it’s my blog and I post what I like.

2. If you don’t like my fics.... don’t read them? I am not holding you at gunpoint to read these fics nor is anyone else. If you appear on my blog to complain about my fics ... okay?? I’m not gonna change them lmao. You’re not the target audience, so move along.

But truthfully speaking, this is not the main reason I am making this post. Do I care what people online think about my fics? Mmm not really. Writing fics is something I do in my free time as a hobby. I’ve never wanted to do this professionally lmao. I do it for fun when I’m bored or procrastinating. I have other hobbies I do too. I journal i paint i play soccer I listen to music. I frankly am not offended when people critique my work, especially not when they chose to do it through an anonymous message.

What DOES offend me is when people abuse the anonymous option to be spiteful and hateful, and use my ethnic background against me... OVER KPOP. OVER FAN FIC ABOUT KPOP.

Am I offended about the first part of the ask? No I don’t care. What I am disgusted and disturbed by is that you have been blatantly racist and ignorant not only to ME but to ALL OTHER POCS with the second half of your message. Being a POC writing for BTS is bad?? What do you prefer I write about? Shawn Mendes? Niall Horan? I’d rather choke. What do you even mean??? Am I supposed to write Can fic for completely unproblematic people?? Give me an example?? Furthermore, I am not black so for you to come in here and disrespect black people with your last comment is immature, disgusting, and racist. Go to hell.

I deleted the message. I always delete excessively rude messages. I was hoping it was a one time occurrence but nope. A few hours later.

My status as an undocumented immigrant is something I have shared on tumblr because it is my safe space and somewhere where no one in real life knows me. Did you think this was funny? Did you think I actually laughed? I didn’t. I won’t lie. This ask terrified me. You’re threatening to call ICE on me.... OVER KPOP? OVER FAN FICS OF KPOP? How old are you. How immature do you have to be to take it this far.

I deleted this message and turned off anon. I am not gonna let some anonymous grey sunglasses orb abuse the anonymous option like this. Honestly, I knew another message was bound to follow up and it did 🤗

thanks for showing me your face, doll. I reported your account and so did a bunch of friends of mine. It’s funny that you mention writing better content but your blog is only ten posts? 9 of which are reblogs of fan fics? What do you write babe? What do you do? Where do you post? As I’ve said before I frankly don’t care for writing advice, this is just a hobby. But if you’re going to claim you’re some modern day Shakespeare maybe have the proof to back it up. Also your first posts says you’re a black woman, but your first ask to me says POC shouldn’t enjoy BTS.... honey all your posts are about BTS. So what’s the truth? Do we enjoy them or not? Next time you feel some type of way towards me as a Mexican woman, don’t start off by hiding behind anon until I force you off, don’t disrespect me or other POCs, and don’t use a burner account like you did. And for the record. I barely believe you’re black, and honestly speaking, everything about your asks have racist undertones only a white person could carry out.

Anyway. I am posting this because I want to highlight just how difficult it is to be a POC in this fandom. Army preach about being this or being that. We love each other. We look out for each other. ARMY is family blah blah blah.

No we’re not.

I have been an ARMY since 2015. The only places I have ever found comfort within this fandom are with other POCs, and even then it is only a few people here and there. This random ass hoe that I have NEVER interacted with before decided to take the fact I am a POC and taunt me, attack me, harass me, whatever you want to call it, and didn’t come off anon until I forced them off.

I am so beyond tired of being a POC in this fandom. When will you all recognize that one “I stand by” post is never enough to support us. “I can’t be racist I support BTS’s message💜” shut the hell up. You kiss these men’s feet for being your woke kings but then turn around and say things like this. Was it fun? Was it cool parading around in your ‘I do whatever BTS does’ cloak? You guys pick and choose when you want to be a model ARMY, and then turn around do things like this. Over kpop. Your allyship means nothing when there are still people like this in fandom who try to bully me OVER KPOP. OVER JUNGKOOK. OVER A MAN WE DONT KNOW AND NEVER WILL KNOW.

Please don’t interact with this person. Please just block and report them.

Anon’s gonna be off for a while, thanks for reading.

[thisisgonnafuxkinkillme]

So, you get got writers block eh? How about Toshi being absolutely smitten with the new teacher at UA and has been in love with her stern, hardcore attitude? And then he forces her into dancing with him while he serenades her (or them whatever is fine w/you) and then they date. This lives quite rent free in my head and I'm bad at writing sooo.... Here, it's your problem now.

Coming riggghtttt up! 

Violet Enigma

Toshinori Yagi x F! Teacher! Reader

Warnings: mentions of chronic illness (very very subtle), and that’s really it

Not many things have absolutely stopped All Might in his tracks. No, he's well used to seeing the usual gore and violence, the high stakes, the horrific circumstances. None of them have ever made him pause, not even for a moment.

But when she walked into the office, her heels clicking against the tile, he nearly tripped over his own feet.

She didn't notice, of course. She was much too busy staring straight ahead, cooly.

That was until her eyes caught his. In that moment, time stood totally still. It was almost as if, no, it couldn't be.

Her eyes seemed to flash purple.

But no, he assured himself, it was surely a trick of the light.

He could scarcely blink before her gaze was back to her target and she seemingly forgot all about him.

...

"Hey, uh... Who's that lady?" Toshinori whispered, cradling a cup of tea. Aizawa lazily pressed some buttons on the microwave, heating up last night's pizza.

"What lady? How can I possibly know who you're talking about?" He yawned.

Toshinori flushed at the realization that, in fact, not everyone had her image permanently implanted in their minds.

"You know...the one with the... hair? And the, uh...the new one?"

Aizawa sighed, thinking for a moment.

" I think that's y/n," he replied, plopping himself down next to his coworker.

"Thanks," muttered Toshinori. Just as he took a sip of his tea, an unfamiliar voice filled his ears.

"What's got you so curious about me, sir?" The woman asked. She was carrying a clipboard, scribbling something.

The blond had nothing to say. He was so shocked by her presence that he could just stare for a moment.

She sighed, biting the tip of her pen.

"Do you know where room number 512 is?" She asked, not even looking up from her work. Toshinori sighed in relief of her changing the subject.

"Its upstairs and to the right."

"Thank you, Mister...?"

"Toshinori. Or Yagi. Or...um...well, nevermind. Aren't you going to eat something?"

"I will. Just not right now. I've got a lot to get done, Mr. 'Nevermind.' "

And like that, she was gone.

...

The following day, Ms. Y/N entered the office once again, her pristine outfit looking as fresh as a pressed uniform.

She paused for a moment upon seeing All Might in his muscular form, however.

"I don't believe we've met," she mumbled, "You may refer to me as Ms. Y/N. And yourself?"

He subconsciously looked down.

"I'm All Might. Haven't you... seen me before?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"I can't say I have. I don't watch television. What's your real name?" She asked skeptically. For a moment, it almost looked like her eyes flashed again.

"Well, uh, you see-".

"It's fine. Do you know when the next meeting is being held, Mr... Sir?"

.....

At lunch, she was no where to be seen, as always.

Usually, Yagi would make himself comfortable in the staff room with a cup of tea and a book.

Today, though, he'd decided to find her.

He aimlessly wandered the now empty halls, passing rooms where classes were being held, the ever noisy lunchroom, peeking into each open door in an attempt to spot her.

Miss Enigma. That's what she goes by as a pro hero. But, she's not the type of hero you'd see get the credit. She'd much rather work alongside a group, blending into the background, and staying subtle.

He found that name quite fitting for her, though.

Especially because he didn't even know what her damn quirk was. No one did.

Finally, he reached the computer lab all the way at the end of the hall. The lights were off, which would usually signal that no one was in there, but based off of the rapid clicking of keys, someone had definitely snuck in there.

Probably a student. Kids like Shinsou and Deku would usually hide themselves here during lunch, getting their homework done in leiu of eating.

Upon opening the door though, he quickly realized that he was wrong.

It was her.

She jumped, startled terribly by the unwanted interupption. She quickly regained her composure as she turned around.

"What are you doing here, mister?" She asked, her eyebrow raised.

"I can ask you the same," he retorted with a small, semi confident smirk.

She sighed.

"Why does it concern you?"

Toshinori's face grew pink, embarassment growing in his chest, suffocating him.

"Uh, I...um, I j-just-"

"I'm busy. You may speak to me later," she stated, spinning around to face the screen once again. Yagi stood there for a moment in shock before closing the door and doing as she wished: leaving her alone.

He did not look for her, though. Her merciless tone was enough to slice him to the bone. He didn't want to hear any more.

It was right after classes ended when he was on his way to his dorm. He passed room 512, Ms. Y/N's class, and as he passed the room, he paused, hearing her scolding a student.

"There was absolutely no reason for you to earn this grade in my class, young man. None. You can do so much better than this."

"B-but, it was a 96," whimpered the boy. He couldn't see exactly who it was, but he could tell by his warbled tone it was Young Midorya.

Isn't a 96 good though?

She sighed.

"It was a silly mistake you made. It could have been 100. Listen, I know the kind of student you are. You're smart. You should be competing with students like Iida, who earned a 102."

She continued to speak, but Toshi had heard enough. He was exhausted as it is, but hearing something so silly as that just exacerbated it.

...

The next morning, a stiff hand squeezed his shoulder as he sipped his coffee.

He looked up, wide eyed, meeting Y/N's steely gaze.

"I didn't see you yesterday. Didn't you wish to speak with me?" She asked.

"Oh, uh...it was nothing, really," he stammered out, looking down. She squinted her eyes.

"That feels like it's not entirely true. Either way, I will be available for a...chat... If that's what you were hoping for, this lunch period. If you'd like," she offered, her hand still on his shoulder.

"Really?" He squeaked, his shyness peaking through. She nodded silently before delicately seating herself at her desk.

It took centuries, but finally, lunch period arrived.

And so did she.

Before Toshinori even had the chance to get up to find her, she was standing at his desk.

"Are you ready?" She asked, holding a lunch bag in each hand.

He nodded. In response, y/n handed him one of the bags.

"You never eat anything. It's not healthy, you know."

He chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, I've survived a lot worse."

"...Like?"

"Well, I'd rather not say. Not...now, at least," he scratched the back of his head, praying that she'd change the subject.

She didn't. Instead, she simply stared blankly at him.

"Where are you taking me, anyways?" He asked. He internally screamed as he waited for her to use that to spark a conversation.

"I don't like being around people. We could go to the library, or my dorm, or your dorm, or anywhere where it can just be you and I."

He nodded.

"L-lets just go to your dorm," he mumbled, realizing his was quite in a state of dissarray at the moment.

She nodded.

The walk was pleasent enough. As pleasent as a near silent walk could be.

One thing about Ms. Enigma is that everything she does, no matter how seemingly miniscule, is done with a sense of urgent purpose. Her eyes are always fixed upon some sort of goal, and each with each breath, she is calculating her next move carefully.

It helped her be an efficient, yet stern teacher, but a hard person to chat with.

Finally, the pair reached her dorm. Number 111.

The door opened to reveal an utterly spotless bed and kitchenette, surrounded by piles and piles of books, scribbled notes, calculators, and empty soda cans. She stepped over the piles gracefully, scarcely looking down, while Toshinori carefully tip toed around every discarded item in order to avoid damaging a single item.

Frankly, he feared what a scolding from her would comprise of for him.

She sat herself onto her bed, cris crossing her legs. He, on the other hand, took his place at the kitchenette.

The silence was unbearable.

“So, um...what did you wanna chat about, Enigma?” he muttered.

Pushing up her glasses with one finger, she replied plainly, “You tell me, Yagi.”

He shrugged.

“Eat,” she ordered.

Captured by her spell, he obeyed her, eating the food she’d prepared. It was a humble little meal, one that she’d surely planned out, and was in a word, delicious.

Thankfully, the silence changed from an uncomfortable one to one that he would be content with curling up and living in for quite a while.

...

After that day, Y/N would always be somewhere near Toshinori during lunch period. Whether it be in the same room, or right next to him, she was there.

She usually was hard at work or silently eating. That didn’t mean, though, that she wouldn’t urge him to eat something. He’d find small lunches made up for him at his desk on days where she wasn’t there, and on days she was, she’d silently pause every once in awhile to glare at him if he hadn’t eaten.

Despite that seemingly caring action, though, she didn’t seem at all interested in the blond. He didn’t attempt to flirt, or anything that could possibly elicit a raised eyebrow, but that was simply because he felt as if he couldn’t.

What if she rejected him?

I mean, she works right across from him. They see eachother every single day.

It’d be hell.

But...

What if she didn’t?

...

“Alright, we need a couple chaperones for the spring semester dance. Who’s up for it?” Aizawa asked boredly. Miss Midnight and Present Mic raised their hands excitedly.

“Alright, I’ve got you both down. I need two more.”

“I’ll do it,” offered Y/N. The entire conference room grew quiet for a moment.

“You do realize that you can’t give out detention slips at a dance, right?” Hizashi scoffed.

“I am aware of that, sir. Are you aware of the existance of an ‘inside voice’?” she gritted with condecention seeping through her teeth.

He put his hands up, indicating that she’d won that particular battle.

“I’m free on that night, too,” Toshinori added. His comment broke through the thick silence that had fell onto the room.

“Thank you, A- ahem, Toshinori,” Aizawa nodded, penning the final name down.

After the meeting, Y/N was the final one to leave, alongside Toshinori.

“You know, there’s gonna be a lot of people there on that dance,” he whispered.

“I know. Maybe I’d like that. You seem like you do,” she replied, a tiny smile pulling at the edges of her lips. No one else would’ve noticed it, but after spending so many monotone days with her, he recognized the new expression instantly.

“I don’t, particularly. But...”

“But?”

“Nothing. It’s...nothing.”

“If you say so, Mister. I’ll see you then,” she allowed herself to smile as she once again, left him in silence.

...

That week passed by without much issue. There was the usual ruckus coming from class 1-A, but nothing too serious.

The night had arrived. Just outside his dorm, he could hear the clamour of excited chatter coming from students on their way to the gymnasium.

He sighed, tying a red tye around his neck, a nice contrast against his suit.

He hadn't exactly planned on dressing like this, but upon realizing that he didn't have anything less fancy than this and more fancy than what he usually wore to work, he settled on being a little extraordinary.

As soon as he exited the dorm and was greeted with the wave of students pushing past each other in the halls, he knew he'd made a mistake.

"Oof! Oh, hey, um...?" Midoriya squeaked, pressed against the wall and cramped. He’d caught himself before he called him by his hero name, but his real name slipped his mind at that exact moment.

"Toshinori. What is it, my boy?" He smiled, ruffling the boy's messy hair.

"Uh, I dunno, I don't usually do stuff like this. Are... Why are you wearing that? Isn't it a little fancy?"

Toshinori blushed instantly.

"Oh my God. Who is it?" Izuku squealed excitedly, cursing himself for forgetting a pen to take some notes.

"Geez, kid, keep it down a little, won'tcha? It-she-"

"She?!"

"Single file line or none of you will be attending tonight's dance," stated a voice that ascended effortlessly above the crowd's noisiness.

Instantly, everyone calmed down and began to form a line, neatly making their way to the gym.

Toshinori closed his door as he whisked the boy away, urging him to go have a good time, and to 'enjoy being young while you can.'

It was merely seconds after he was standing alone, against the wall, waiting for the crowd to die down as he noticed her.

Y/N had been standing there for quite a few minutes, in the same position as he, and just about 4 feet away.

It was hard for him to believe that he'd missed her. The dress she'd worn was absolutely more extravagant than any gown he'd seen in an event like this. It was sparkly and red, reflecting every ounce of light that hit it from all directions. It accentuated her body beautifully and perfectly fit.

In short, she was stunning.

"My, my. You sure do look nice today," she grinned.

He nodded dumbly. He was just about as red as the dress she was wearing.

Finally, it was time for them to make their ways to the dance.

"Are you ready for this?" She asked.

"I hope so," he replied, toying with his tie.

...

Music boomed in Y/N's and Toshinori's ears, accompanied by dealing with the antics of goofball teenagers and breaking up silly fights.

Once things began to calm down quite a bit, Y/N approached Toshinori, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and leaning in close to his ear.

"Meet me on the rooftop," she whispered before dissapearing into the crowd.

So, he did.

She sat near the edge, staring into the inky violet sky.

Toshinori took his place next to her, handing her a much needed bottle of water.

She thanked him before turning to him with a deep sigh.

"There's something I'd like to tell you," she mumbled. For the first time, she actually looked nervous.

Taking a sip of the water, she continued, "You know, I never really do things like this. You've probably gathered that by...my nature. But, I must admit, you are one person I can't seem to get off of my mind. And, well, frankly...I like you, Toshinori. To quite a degree."

He blinked, slack jawed, shaking his head.

“How could someone like you like someone like me?

“Good question. I like you because you're...well, I suppose I don't really know. You're just you, and that's what I like about you. Plus, I know you’ve done so much for so many people. Why dont you like you?”

He paused, his heart absolutely seizing at that for more than one reason.

"Oh! I suppose I should tell you about my quirk. But...I expect full confidentiality from you. Essentially, I can find out one's secrets by looking at them. Surely, you've seen me activate it before."

He nodded, covering his mouth.

"W-what do you...know?"

"Don't worry, not much. I respect you too much to dig that deep. All I know is that, in some point of your life, you were probably some type of hero. All I know, is that in your life time, you've saved many lives, and touched countless others. As to why you'd want that to be a secret, I have no idea. But, I do find it interesting," she explained.

"What do you do with the secrets you know, then?" He asked, his voice still pinched with fear that his secret could be compromised.

"With yours? Nothing. I have no friends to share it with, and not enough details or desire to post about it online. Frankly, I don't give a damn about who you used to be. I care about who you are. Your secret will always be safe with me."

He sighed deeply. It wasn’t as if no one was aware of his secret; plenty of people knew. But the more people who did, the higher at risk the school, as well as the students and staff, were placed at.

Plenty of people,too, wanted him dead. Even being retired, he is still considered a threat to villians across the globe, thanks to his notorious acts of heroism throughout the decades. With him in his sickly, weakened state, he’d be easy to assasinate, and the people who would go that far wouldn’t be opposed to taking others down with him.

He...couldn’t have that.

So, before Y/N was scheduled to begin work, it was decided that she’d be left in the dark about his identity, as well as any newcoming staff from thenon out. It’d be safer that way.

Her eyes dreamily stared off into the infinate stars as she silently pondered on what to say next.

“Would you like to know the rest?” he asked. His voice shook a little, causing her to look at him.

She nodded.

“I’m All Might.” “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding!” giggles y/n, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, yeah, I know I’m pathetic,” he sighes. He rubbed his forehead, looking away ashamedly.

“No, no! I mean, I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier! I mean, you guys do look pretty similar.”

He shrugs.

“I’m serious! Plus, I mean, it’s kind of obvious now that you mention it. I mean, I guess you guys do wear the same clohtes to work everyday, and I haven’t seen you two in the same room before, so yeah, I can definiately see it,” she paused, her eyes growing wide and her cheeks bright red.

“God, I’ve probably said ‘Good morning’ to you and...er...you, twice every day. Why’d you let me do that like a fool?!” she teased, play punching him in the arm.

He laughed, absolutely relieved that she didn’t ridicule him for how he’d taken care of his body for the past few years. It seemed that her attitude had completely changed from the one he’d known for so long, but in a good way.

In a happy way.  

She stood up, still smiling, “We need to go back to the dance, Mister. We have a duty, you know.”

“Oh, I know. I’m well aware. You can almost hear the music all the way up here, can’t you?”

She nodded, walking towards the door to the stairs. He grabbed her by the arm before she could escape, though, and leave him alone with his thoughts and hopes and dreams like she had so many times.

“You... you didn’t get my answer,” he breathed, pulling her in. She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“What exactly- oh!”

The music from downstairs was slow, romantic, and jovial. Perfect for this moment.

He gently took her other hand, guiding her into a dance.

“I-I can’t...I don’t know how to dance, Mr. Yagi,” she mumbled, looking up at him.

“I’ll teach you. Just follow my lead,” he smiled back.

And just like that, the Enigma was gone, leaving just Y/N in her place. She was no longer an Enigma, but rather a glimmer of what he’d never gotten a chance to be: in love.

[a-lil-perspective]

I have been silent for some time now. I have refrained from exhibiting any plaguing thoughts that might warrant me the label of “that person”, but I’m at the point where I’ve had my fill.

Ramble under the cut so as to not... offend or inconvenience anyone. There’s absolutely no obligation to read this. It’s Tumblr. You can block/ignore me. The option to do so is readily accessible.

I’ve been a Bad Batch fan since day one. While I didn’t start creating that very same day, it was relatively close. Point being, I’m a long-time dedicated fan. As the premiere to their series draws closer, I feel like there is going to be a great shift, rift here. That being said, I figured now is as good a time as any to make this post.

I love those boys beyond words. They’ve been the one constant in my life amidst a rapid and debilitating change. I love getting to give them life, even if my interpretations aren’t the most accurate.

Yes, I am a new Writer and yes, I am new to Tumblr, as I am sure both of those things are painfully apparent.

I get that it is impossible to please everyone. It’s something I’m learning more and more with each passing day. It’s something that gets harder to swallow, even more so.

I’d like to say that being here has been a largely positive experience, with all of these great connections and opportunities. But honestly? It’s been more isolating than anything. I’ve actually never felt more isolated than since I joined a year ago.

As a content creator or even just a general blogger, I don’t ask for much. I don’t ask for anything, in fact. I consider myself very low maintenance. I don’t demand/harass/play the martyr for reblogs. I have never mentioned it once, and never will. Some people on here are so damn passive-aggressive about it, and quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. It’s very stigmatizing. While I completely understand the frustration surrounding the like-to-reblog ratio, I think it’s neither tasteful nor reputable to threaten to call people out for not reblogging your fics. I wish I could say I was joking on that one. But I’ve seen it profoundly. Not cool.

And yet, no one says anything or raises any concern there.

Yet I make metas, harmless rambles, and I get shot down? Seriously?

—I need to “chill”, it’s “overkill”, I’m “overthinking”. I and my content are apparently just so damn arduous to interact with.

If you don’t like me, please just move on. There are plenty of other Bad Batch creators for you to enjoy. You know that. My work is absolutely not the final say, and I’ve never claimed it to be.

What is so wrong, with sharing one’s thoughts? Why do people inherently have a problem with other’s creative efforts? I see it time over again. Why do I feel like if I was making a bunch of smutty posts it wouldn’t be as much of a problem, that it in fact would be infinitely more welcome? (Absolutely NO shade to people who create smut, okay? I’ve made my own share. I admire those bold enough to do so regularly. I absolutely love them. Please teach me your ways).

This ramble really has nothing to do with the most recent event regarding my contributions. Rather, it’s a culmination of experiences over the past several months that have brewed and festered to the point where I can no longer keep downplaying it.

Social media, at its core, is one big popularity contest. It always has been, it always will be. But I’m not here to win. That’s never been my objective. That’s not what I’m about. Surprise (or not), I am not a popular blog. Not by a long shot. I’ll never claim otherwise.

I don’t ask people to view/interact with my content, I’m not an activist, I can’t even fathom exuding that kind of confidence. Even though I, admittedly, crave it. I suspect I crave interaction as much as the next creator. It’s a nice feeling. Yet there’s never been any obligation for it, especially with me, so I don’t understand what the problem is. As I’ve said, there are ample ways for you to block/avoid me. It’s the internet. In this day and age, there’s no excuse for viewing anything you don’t want to.

I came here in the hopes of finding like-minded individuals, uplifting and interacting, and exercising some otherwise stunted creativity.

All Tumblr as taught me is that creating and contributing is largely a thankless, empty endeavor. You can give and give and give and be reduced to nothing. There’s a profound imbalance between “giving” and “receiving”, and in regards to both ends of the scale, it’s became apparent to me that if you don’t cater heavily and in unreasonable degrees or get “noticed” by a popular blog, you get nothing, and your efforts are null and void.

Truthfully? I constantly feel like I walk on eggshells here, and it’s all I can do to not crack under the pressure, even though it’s my blog and my headspace. I should feel comfortable and free to express myself here, and I don’t, and I’m unsure of how to achieve that sense of stability. To be completely honestly I feel like a constant bother and a nuisance. When I post, I literally feel like there is a collective eye-roll that comes with people receiving a notification from my blog. Even though I know, rationally, that can’t be true, that’s an absurd level of thinking. I can’t say I can pinpoint exactly where it stems from.

But regardless: I hardly ever talk about/create the things I actually want. I only recently just got ballsy enough to share some metas, and we all know how well that’s going. I try not to have smut out of respect for my asexual/minor mutuals, even though the tag to blacklist is very much an option. I try not to bring up conflicting topics, Tumblr, political, or otherwise, even though with proper tagging I could. But I try not to even bring that into existence. Even though it’s my right to, I don’t.

I don’t actually feel like I fit into any narrative here, especially in the Bad Batch fandom; even though we are all basically the same steadfast group of bloggers. We all know who we are. We all coexist in the same space. It’s nearly impossible to be unaware of each other, at this point.

And yet, I’m not in a bunch of Discord servers or backed by a team of beta readers and all that jazz. It’s basically just me talking to myself out here. It’s very isolating.

Part of that—most of it—is my own crippling social anxiety, and the genuine belief that I don’t deserve to be in the same space/servers as all of these brilliant creators. Because I’m just me, and there’s not a whole lot of value there. With that mindset, it’s hard to actually feel like I belong anywhere. I know that is a mindset I have to conquer alone.

My excitement over my creations has largely dwindled into nothing. I seldom ever bounce my ideas off of others—another issue that stems from the fear of presenting as a burden—and even though I try to write for myself, even that fire has pretty much died out. I’m not even sure how or if I could even reignite it, at this point. It’s really quite sad. It makes me very sad, actually. All I wanted was to safely ramble, project all my thoughts and creativity that has otherwise been repressed through prolonged detrimental circumstances.

More than anything, I wanted to find and hold onto something that makes me feel useful, meaningful, happy. More and more I wonder if that’s even possible. I don’t think it is, not here. I often wonder if joining and sharing on Tumblr was a horrible mistake. I miss the innocent joy of when I first started creating. It was so simple. I’m trying to find that simplicity again.

But I’m burned out. I’m running on fumes. I have been for some time.

At this point it goes beyond just “taking a break” from Tumblr. It’s the fact that it all feels like this meaningless, monotonous cycle. I wonder every day if I am an isolated case in experiencing these emotions.

And yet, come tomorrow I will still be here, business as usual.

I’m not asking for sympathy or playing the victim or attacking anyone or trying to guilt-trip into more interaction. I am very aware of my shortcomings and incorrect mindsets. I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I feel very disconnected from everyone here and it’s lonely. This took a lot for me to share. I will most likely delete this because anxiety will eat me up, as it does with everything I post. Yes, everything.

[letterboxd]

Savage Cinema.

From anarchists and adultery to milk baths and massacres, Matthew Turner shares five of the weirdest and wildest highlights of Hollywood’s pre-Code era, as #PreCodeApril comes to a close.

Pre-Code April was directly inspired by Noirvember, a month-long celebration of noir cinema instigated by Marya Gates (Oldfilmsflicker). I did Noirvember for the first time in November 2019, really enjoyed it, and thought it would be great to do the same thing for pre-Code movies. Although I’ve watched most of the classic 1930s films, I realised there were a huge number of pre-Code films I’d never seen (of my Letterboxd list of over 900 Pre-Code films, I have only seen 200).

As a sucker for a bit of wordplay, no matter how tenuous, I picked April partly because it’s six months away from Noirvember and partly because of the shared “pr” sound in April and Pre-Code. I’ve been absolutely delighted by the response—the #PreCodeApril hashtag on Twitter is a daily treasure trove of pre-Code-related joy, but I was genuinely thrilled to see the response on Letterboxd (here is my watchlist for the month). It’s been a real pleasure to see pre-Code movies constantly popping up in my ‘new from friends’ feed. My hope is that it’ll be even bigger next year—and that maybe TCM will want to get involved, the way they do with Noirvember.

Produced between 1929 and 1934, pre-Code cinema refers to films made in a brief period between the silent era, and Hollywood beginning to enforce the Motion Picture Production Code censorship guidelines (mandatory enforcement came in from July 1934). The “Code” in question was popularly known as the Hays Code, after then MPPDA president Will H. Hays. As the depression set in and box office declined, theater owners needed fare that would drive cinema-goers to the movies. It was a wild time to be a scriptwriter; they threw everything at the page, designers added even more, and actors played out the kinds of scenes, from the suggestive to the overt, that would otherwise be banned for decades to come.

The following five films demonstrate some of Hollywood’s craziest pre-Code excesses. They’re still jaw-dropping, even by today’s standards, and notably give female characters an agency that would be later denied as the Christian morals of the Code overruled writers’ kinks.

Madam Satan (1930) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Elsie Janis, Jeanie Macpherson and Gladys Unger

A critical and commercial flop in 1930, Cecil B. DeMille’s utterly insane musical comedy stars Kay Johnson as a straight-laced wife who plots to win back her unfaithful husband (Reginald Denny) by seducing him at a costume party, disguised as a mysterious devil woman. The location of this party? Oh, nothing too fancy, just on board a giant zeppelin. (“Madam Satan or: How the Film gets Fucking Crazy on the Blimp,” as Ryan reviewed it.)

Madam Satan is not by any stretch of the imagination a good movie (the editing alone is laughably bad), but as a piece of pre-Code craziness, it really has to be seen to be believed. Co-written by a trio of women and set in just three locations, it goes from racy bedroom farce to avant-garde musical to full-on disaster movie after a bolt of lightning hits the blimp.

The film is justly celebrated (in camp classic circles, at least) for the wildly over-the-top costumes paraded in the masquerade ball sequence, but there’s weird outfit joy everywhere you look. Keep an eye out for an enterprising extra who’s come dressed as a set of triplets.

Call Her Savage (1932) Directed by John Francis Dillon, written by Tiffany Thayer and Edwin J. Burke

Adapted from a salacious novel by Tiffany Thayer, Call Her Savage was former silent star Clara Bow’s second-to-last film before her retirement at the age of 28. She plays Texas gal Nasa Springer, who’s always had a “savage” temper she can’t explain. In the space of 88 minutes she goes from wild teenager to jilted newlywed to young mother to prostitute to wealthy society girl to alcoholic before finally (it’s implied) settling down with her Native-American friend after discovering that she’s half-Native-American, something the audience has known all along.

Bow’s performance is frankly astonishing, to the point where you simply can’t believe what you’re seeing from one moment to the next. Sample scenes see her savagely whipping both a snake and her Indian friend, smashing a guitar over a musician’s head and violently wrestling her Great Dane… and that’s all in the first five minutes. She’s also frequently in a state of near undress throughout—one funny scene has her maids chasing her with a dressing gown because they’re afraid she’ll run down the street in her négligée.

The rest of the film includes alcohol, adultery, strong violence, attempted rape, murder, syphilis (not named, but heavily implied) and baby death. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of outrageous content and Bow is pure dynamite throughout. The film is also noted for being one of the first on-screen portrayals of homosexuality, when Nasa visits a gay bar in the Village frequented by “wild poets and anarchists”.

Smarty (1934) Directed by Robert Florey, written by Carl Erickson and F. Hugh Herbert

This deeply problematic sex comedy features pre-Code stars Joan Blondell and Warren William (often nicknamed ‘The King of Pre-Code’) at their absolute filthiest. Blondell plays Vicki, a capricious, happily married wife who gets an obvious kick out of taunting her husband, Tony (William). When he cracks and slaps her at a party, she divorces him and marries her lawyer, Vernon (Edward Everett Horton), whom she also goads into slapping her in a deliberate ploy to win back Tony.

Essentially, Smarty hinges on Vicki liking rough sex and it’s completely blatant about it, ending with her sighing “Hit me again” (the film’s UK title!) as they sink into a clinch on a couch, a rapturous expression on her face. It’s a controversial film because on the surface it looks like it’s condoning domestic violence, but it’s very clearly about Vicki’s openly expressed sexual desires—she wants to be punished and dominated, she just has a rather dodgy way of getting what she wants.

It might be unsophisticated, but in some ways Smarty is remarkably ahead of its time and ripe for rediscovery. To that end, it would make a fascinating double bill with Stephen Shainberg’s Secretary (2002). Oh, and it’s also chock-full of lingerie scenes (like most pre-Code films), if you like that sort of thing.

Massacre (1934) Directed by Alan Crosland, written by Sheridan Gibney, Ralph Block and Robert Gessner

Several pre-Code films (notably those made by Warner Bros) took a no-punches-pulled approach to their depiction of social issues, and star Richard Barthelmess actively sought out such projects. Here he plays Joe Thunderhorse, a Native American who’s become famous on the rodeo circuit. When he returns to his tribe to bury his father, he ends up fighting for their rights, taking on corrupt government officials and religious authorities.

Massacre is fascinating because on the one hand it’s wildly insensitive—Barthelmess and co-star Ann Dvorak are both cast as Native Americans—but on the other, it burns with a righteous fury and does more than any other Hollywood film (before or since) to champion the rights and highlight the injustices dealt out to Native Americans. That fury is encapsulated in a horrifying and rightly upsetting rape scene (it happens off-screen, but the cuts leave you in no doubt) that the film handles with surprising sensitivity.

In addition to being a passionate fight against racism and social injustice, the film also has some genuinely shocking sexual content. Most notably, Joe is seen making love to a rich white woman (Claire Dodd, who’s also in Smarty) who has an obvious sexual fetish, flaunting him in front of her friends and making a shrine in her room with Native-American paraphernalia.

The Sign of the Cross (1932) Directed by Cecil B. DeMille, written by Waldemar Young and Sidney Buchman

Yes, this is Cecil B. DeMille again, but no list of weird and wild pre-Code films would be complete without the jaw-dropping ancient Rome epic, The Sign of the Cross. Adapted from an 1895 play by Wilson Barrett, it stars Frederic March as Marcus Superbus (stop sniggering at the back there), who’s torn between his loyalty to Emperor Nero (Charles Laughton) and his love for a Christian woman (Elissa Landi), while also fending off the advances of the Emperor’s wife, Poppaea (Claudette Colbert).

The film is racy enough in its sexual content alone: highlights include the famous scene of Claudette Colbert taking a nude milk bath and an erotic “lesbian” dance sequence, where Joyzelle Joyner’s “most wicked and talented woman in Rome” does ‘The Dance of the Naked Moon’ at Frederic March’s orgy, trying to tempt Landi’s virtuous Christian, to the obvious arousal of the gathered guests.

However, it’s the climactic gladiatorial-arena sequence that will leave your jaw on the floor. Lasting around twelve minutes, it includes: someone getting eaten by a tiger, a tied-up, naked women being approached by hungry crocodiles, pygmies getting chopped up by female barbarians, elephants stomping on heads, a gorilla approaching a naked woman tied to a stake, a man getting gored by a bull, and gladiators fighting to the death, complete with blood and gory injury detail.

The whole thing is genuinely horrifying, even for 2021. Best of all, DeMille pointedly critiques the audience (ourselves included), by showing a series of reaction shots ranging from intense enjoyment to abject seen-it-all-before boredom.

Matthew Turner (FilmFan1971) is a critic, author, podcaster and lifelong film fanatic. His favorite film is ‘Vertigo’. The films in this article are also listed here: Five of the Pre-Code Era’s Most Outrageous Films.

[hatterstan-shameblog]

For the headcanon thing

I think Hatter likes to watch bad movies. Like the really bad ones. The ones that make you roll your eyes/laugh/cry at every single thing about it, doesn't matter if it's plot or acting. But you know what he loves more than watching those awful movies alone?

Watching them with someone else.

"hey, Mori, wanna watch a movie?"

"...no."

"c'mon, you'll like this one."

"no, I won't."

"...no, you won't. But I will enjoy your presence. C'mon bro, do it for the sake of bonding time."

"*sigh* fine..."

(inspired by real life events)

💕 Sleepover 💕

Rating: PG13 for language and alcohol consumption

Relationship: Takeru (Hatter)/Aguni

Tags: banter, friendly insults, Just Guys Being Dudes, drinking, swearing, love confessions (sort of), They Talk A Big Game But The Love Is There

Bangbangbangbangbang!

“Mori!”

Bangbangbangbangbang!

“Moooooori, let me iiiiiiiiiin!”

Clunk!

Click!

Creeeeeeaaaaaak!

Aguni opens his apartment door, wincing at the slap of summer heat that greets him as he does.

“C’mon man,” an overheated and impatient Takeru implores, “it’s miserable out here!”

“You bring me samosas,” Aguni asks, crossing his arms across his chest, “Because I’m not letting you in without my samosas.”

Takeru’s face twists into a look of shocked indignation.

“Would you really leave me—your best friend on this beautiful green Earth—to swelter and die on your doorstep in this blazing summer heat…all because I forgot the samosas?”

Aguni considers.

“No. I’d ask you to swelter and die in the parking lot. Neighbors’ll kick up a fuss if you block the stairwell.”

“Well it’s a good thing I got two orders this time,” Takeru shakes the bag enticingly, “so we don’t even have to share.”

“Someone’s splashing out,” Aguni murmurs, taking the bag from Takeru’s outstretched hand and standing aside so the man can enter his home, “Don’t suppose there’s a reason for all this…”

“Maybe I just wanted to be nice,” Takeru says flippantly, toeing off his shoes, “a little ‘thank you’ for welcoming me into your home.”

Aguni carries the bag of food over to his coffee table and sets it down, being careful not to disturb the place settings he had so thoughtfully arranged. Two plates, two spoons, two glasses of water—all neatly placed in the center of his new, sage-green placemats.

Hopefully nobody spills curry on them.

“You brought one of your weird movies again, didn’t you?”

Takeru rolls his eyes. Shoving his arm into his messenger bag, he rummages around its contents for a moment before yanking a dark, thin rectangle and holding it up for Aguni to examine.

“The 1977 horror classic, House,” he explains with an edge of exasperation, “is a critically-acclaimed work of art that has been inspiring both film fanatics and the average man for nearly half a century.”

“Straight from the back of the box,” Aguni mumbles, opening the stapled-shut paper bag and peeking at the containers inside, “Anyways, I thought you didn’t like scary movies.”

Takeru scoffs.

“Not sure what gave you that idea,” Takeru says, shoving his feet into his slippers—yes, his slippers, black velvet with red-and-gold dragons embroidered on the front because ‘I’m here enough to warrant my own damn slippers’ and ‘these are fucking awesome,’ “We saw Hereditary in the theater!”

“And you were scared the whole time,” Aguni points out, gingerly lifting their food out of the bag and arranging the containers on their respective plates, “You had to sleep with the lights on for a week. Screwed up your cat’s sleep schedule and everything.”

Takeru swans his way over to Aguni’s refrigerator and opens it, more or less sticking his whole head inside to examine its (admittedly meager) offerings.

“It’s not my fault that Ziggy is such a smart, beautiful boy who knows what ‘lights out’ means. And besides,” Takeru says while examining the bottle of white wine Aguni had put in to chill, “I’ll be staying here tonight, so it won’t be an issue.”

“So the cat gets to sleep, but I don’t?”

“You, my dear, get a evening of my company, complete with scintillating conversation, cultural enrichment, and—as we have already established—your very own order of samosas,” Takeru calls out from the kitchen, rummaging for a suitable pair of wine glasses, “And besides, I plan on sleeping deeply and comfortably knowing that any and all monsters would no doubt eat you first, giving me ample opportunity to flee the scene…”

Aguni lifts the lid off his curry, admiring the rich yellow hue and inhaling its bold spices. There are even a few extra chilis lying on top, which is a lovely surprise.

Takeru arrives at the table, glasses in one hand and wine in the other. He gives the spread a discerning once-over and then a nod of apparent approval.

“Anyways,” Takeru says, twisting off the top of the wine bottle (not without giving Aguni a look of distaste as he does it), “I’m a bit disappointed in you, Mori-chan. I thought you’d fight me more on this one…”

“It’s a losing battle,” Aguni concedes, sitting himself down in his usual spot and turning on the television, “I have too many brain cells and not enough patience to go through the usual theatrics.”

Takeru hands him a generously-full wine glass—not as full as his own, of course, but still more than what the average person might pour.

“This’ll help the brain cell problem,” he says with an over-enthusiastic smile, “probably the patience, too. Wine makes you sentimental.”

“Hmph.”

“See? It’s already working.”

“Yeah, well,” Aguni grumbles, taking a small sip of his beverage, “better get the movie started before I change my mind.”

Takeru begins his usual indignant grumbling as he fumbles with the DVD player. Aguni could help him, but, frankly, it’s entertaining to watch his friend struggle with the simple electronic setup.

When Takeru manages to get the tray open, he gives a small cheer of victory. Aguni stifles a smirk.

Hopefully the movie is this much fun.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

“Mori. Hey, Mori-chan.”

Aguni rolls his eyes, and then himself onto his side to face Takeru.

“What,” he grumbles, squinting in the dark as he tries to make out the other mans’ shape, “piano thing still got you upset?”

“It ate her fingers, Mori,” Takeru whisper-shouts, “and then it got the rest of her too! That’s enough to upset anyone!”

“It wasn’t even that scary,” Aguni mentions, shimmying his shoulders in order to find a more comfortable spot on his futon, “besides, you don’t even play piano, so you don’t have to worry.”

Takeru is silent for a moment—a blessed, beautiful moment.

“I guess you’re right,” he says after his brief contemplation, “but that’s not the only thing on my mind.”

“I’m guessing ‘sleep’ isn’t one of ‘em?”

Takeru scoffs. There’s a shuffling and fluttering sound from his neighboring futon as he turns to face his disgruntled companion.

“In due time,” Takeru says, “what plagues me now is more of a philosophical question.”

Aguni sighs.

“Remember the part where that guy got turned into a pile of bananas?”

“Yeah,” Aguni responds, “that was weird.”

“What if that happened to me,” Takeru asks, sounding genuinely concerned, “would I turn into a pile of bananas, or would I be a different kind of fruit?”

Oh, you’re different alright, Aguni thinks to himself, but he knows better than to say that out loud. Takeru’s using his ‘this is going to keep me up all night unless you give me a good answer’ voice, so Aguni starts thinking about how best to answer.

“I think you’d be melons,” Takeru concludes, “yeah…definitely melons.”

“Because of my round head and lack of hair?”

“No,” Takeru snaps, “well, that wasn’t my original thinking.”

Aguni subtly checks his phone—half-past one o’clock in the morning, too late to send Takeru home on a train to ask his cat these burning questions instead of him.

“Why,” Aguni asks, “do you think I’d be melons?”

“Well, like you, melons are strong and tough on the outside. Make a nice thud sound when you smack ‘em.”

“So do I,” Aguni mentions, “if you get the right spot. But I also hit back, so that’s not very melon-y, is it?”

“Hm. I suppose not. But,” Takeru says, “where you really start to resemble the melon is on the inside.”

“Inside, huh?”

“Yeah,” Takeru considers for a moment, “underneath all that tough rind, melons are soft. Sweet, too. Nothing fancy, they’re not trying to prove anything, they’re just…good. Like you.”

Aguni hadn’t been expecting something so…sentimental. It’s a touching departure from their usual quips and playful jabs, and it makes something warm and kind of familiar bubble up in Aguni’s heart.

“And also,” Takeru tacks on, “they’re green. And green is your favorite color! So it’s perfect.”

“I think you’d be a strawberry,” Aguni says after a beat.

“A strawberry? You mean only one?”

“Only one,” Aguni confirms, “but one of those fancy designer ones, the kind they grow in those hydroponic farms and sell in department stores for thousands of yen.”

“I heard about a guy who got murdered at one of those places,” Takeru says, “some yakuza guy who was selling weed on the side, someone put a hit out on him and used the body for fertilizer.”

“That’s…disturbing,” Aguni replies, “but that’s beside the point. Don’t you want to know why I think you’d be a single strawberry?”

“Is it because they’re red?”

“Sort of,” Aguni says, “Got a lot of seeds, too. Get stuck in your teeth pretty easily, if you’re not careful.”

“I am rather tenacious.”

“You are.”

Aguni considers his next words carefully. His relationship with Takeru is…complicated, and uncertain, and if anyone ever asked him what they ‘are’ he wouldn’t know how to answer.

“Strawberries are sweet. They’re sour, too. You’d know the flavor anywhere. And you…”

He pauses. Takeru, for once, doesn’t try to fill the silence with his own voice.

“…Well, those designer strawberries are all one-of-a-kind, just like you. So that’s why there’s one one,” he says slowly, “and I like strawberries. Might even, uh…love ‘em.”

“Oh, Mori…”

Something flops onto Aguni’s blanket—once, twice, and ah, it’s Takeru’s hand, and he’s looking for something. Aguni slips his arm from under the covers and covers Takeru’s hand with his own. This is apparently what Takeru had been searching for, because he pulls Aguni’s hand closer to himself.

“You know,” Takeru says, “now that you mention it, I think I might love melon, too.”

Aguni feels lips against the back of his hand—a soft kiss, gentle, a reassurance as much as an act of affection—and he’s glad for the dark of night that hides the blush of his cheeks.

“I feel better now,” Takeru announces, giving Aguni’s hand a light squeeze, “In fact, I think I’m falling asleep as we speak…”

“Hmm,” Aguni hums in agreement.

He’s still holding Takeru’s hand, and Takeru, his—neither seem too keen on letting go, at least, not for now.

[mariaiscrafting]

i saw you talk about “blocking etiquette” in one of your posts and i was wondering if you could briefly explain that? my blog is a baby (i joined in march) so i really don’t know any of the unspoken social rules haha. i feel i should know this before i say anything ever thats dream critical lmao

also saw you have a ton of asks so feel free to answer or not there’s no obligation ! take care of urself it seems like a lot to handle rn

I'd like to preface this by disclaiming that I've been on Tumblr since 2014, so I think I have a good sense of blocking etiquette as it's evolved with Tumblr culture, but I might still be presumptuous/wrong about some things.

Anyways. So, on Tumblr, there's generally always been a "block first, ask questions later" mentality. No matter the fandom, people kinda just unfollow or block people at will because Tumblr's algorithm is so shit at recommending things for people that unfollowing/blocking are really the primary ways to tailor what you don't want to see. So, if you frequent a search term/tag search, like "dream smp," you'd likely block someone who posts things frequently to that tag, but whose content you dislike. Blocking is, obviously, still used as a means to stop interacting with just plain assholes, as it is on every social media site. But more times than not, Tumblr users block blogs for neutral reasons related to how they want to tailor their social media experience, rather than a personal vendetta against someone.

Frankly, from my perspective, this was the main use of block lists back in the day. They weren't so much ways to truly hate on anyone's blog since anyone deemed a true asshole would likely spur a reporting campaign against them, rather than an addition to a blocklist. No, Tumblr blocklists were almost always so people who frequented certain tags simply... didn't have to put up with some people. If there was a wave of problematic shippers inundating a fandom/character tag, of TERFs inundating trans/feminism tags, or something similar, they would likely be put on a blocklist simply because Tumblr users wanted a comprehensive list of people they might come across, but didn't want to have to see posts from. Along a similar vein, a lot of mcytblr blogs advocate simply blocking people who post imagines in the main mcyt/dream smp tags, rather than harrassing each and every one of them into fixing their tag habits. Like, they're just annoying, really, and this social media site is so big that just blocking the ones who frequent the tag is so much easier than anything else.

One notable difference about Tumblr blocking as compared to Twitter blocking is the malintent behind Twitter blocking. Twitter fandom subtwts will advocate for blocking someone particularly if they're being cancelled/a Twitter user simply dislikes them enough. In addition, I've seen more than one Twitter user unironically say that they block people who unfollow them, as if following/unfollowing them were a personal affront, and blocking people were some component of this social game that reeks of cliqueness and high school levels of maturity.

That isn't to say that Tumblr blocking etiquette doesn't have pitfalls, because it has many. The main one I've noticed is that, especially in smaller fandom spaces, someone who's considered problematic might be enmassed blocked by lots of users in that fandom, and effectively be shut out of that fandom. If they're put onto a blocklist, a problematic post is circulated enough, or they're blocked by enough "big blogs" in the fandom, these users can be kept from reblogging, liking, or sending asks to a large part of the fandom they participate in. Vague posting doesn't really get you anywhere on Tumblr because of how insular each blog is, as opposed to Twitter, where screenshotting someone's profile who's blocked you and/or complaining very obviously about someone blocking you without naming them is commonplace and can be easily spread throughout a subtwt. This means Tumblr blogs who were mass blocked end up reaching much less members of their fandom, cannot really stand up for themselves in the face of mass blocking unless they're infamous enough for people to recognize their name, or participate in the discourse that promoted their blocking in the first place. While I haven't really experienced this, all of this is taken from what I've observed mutuals and recognizable blogs going through over the years.

Another note is that this website is kinda fucked, coding-wise. We all know this. This means that there are a million holes in the blocking system that make it even more annoying to navigate when people have blocked you, and that ends up getting more people blocked than maybe should be.

First of all, those imagine blogs aren't just posting in the main tags for shits and giggles, or to be cumbersome and clutter the main tags. They're doing it because Tumblr is dying, and even in a fandom as big as mcytblr, it's almost impossible to boost/promote your original content. The Tumblr algorithm sucks at spreading awareness about popular posts, more and more Twitter refugees means less and less people who fucking reblog > liking posts, and basically the only way posts can blow up anymore is by being found through a tag that is trending or frequently browsed through the "most recent" setting. This includes dream smp and many smp character names, so obviously imagine blogs are going to take advantage of this and maintag. It's the reason mcytblr constantly tags "m*necraft" despite being told off, time and time again, for doing so by mineblr. And it's the reason I've likely been blocked by many people- because I had to make the decision between spreading awareness of a post that took a lot of effort and that I thought was important enough to main tag despite being critical/negative, or keeping mcytblr happy by not cluttering their bias's tag with a crit post. Sure, some of mcytblr likely blocked me because they thought I was annoying/disagree with me, and that's fine. But I'm sure many blocked me for the same reason I block imagine blogs and mineblr blocks dream smp stans- because they wanted to peruse their fave's tags, and they simply blocked a random blog that posted something they didn't like, without really thinking much of it.

Second of all, side blogs kinda fuck up how blocking works. It's annoying as hell to see a post you really like in the main tag/search, only to find that the person blocked you upon trying to reblog. Because of sideblogs, people will oftentimes block a sideblog because it's that user's fandom blog, without blocking their main, so the user is left kinda seeing their stuff time and time again, without being able to interact with it.

Speaking of how fucky the code is because of the blogging system, reblogs make it even worse. Most social media sites simply make it so a blocked user cannot see another user's profile, posts and all. But Tumblr not only allows this, it kinda fucks up the search function by sometimes allowing people you've blocked/who've blocked you to show up in main tag searches, it didn't take into account the fact that you can still see an OP's post when someone else reblogs it, and Tumblr didn't think to just fucking fix all these holes and just wholly omit someone's posts if they've blocked you, or you've blocked them. So, despite blocking people, you can still be logged in and see all their shit, and they can see yours. It's kind of annoying as fuck.

[rainbowtransform]

Why those 6 streams? Because they were all he did. He got his 19:24 after like, 5 days of streaming 1.16 attempts. "We" as in the speedrunning community. And frankly, the shit you just linked that convinced you means.. well, shit. Why did it take 2 months? Because people have lives outside of minecraft and a ton of work went into Geosquare's video. Strandedcrow is straight up lying about the contents of the report and data because Dream stans will believe anything in favour of their Lord. (1/x)

Dream's run, when submitted, would have been 5th place in the world in a highly competitive category. Re: about the mods not telling him - Dream has known about this since October. Hard proof? Read the fucking document or watch the video good lord man there's multiple easily accessible sources of easily digestible information and you just handwave it because it contradicts your God and this is why I compare you people to flat earthers. (2/x)

and Dream got caught because he got so impatient and felt so entitled to his good run that he inflated his Pearl trade chances and Blaze Rod drop chances to ridiculous values. And despite cheating his run was only 5th (at the time) instead of 1st because his luck everywhere else was mediocre to average and his execution was sub-par. He doesn't even know how to fast portal! Frankly I feel like if y'all stans understood the run even on a basic level you wouldn't be going flat earth mode lmao (3/3)

============================================================

Okay, anon. Let’s talk, for a really long time. 

No, they weren’t all that he’d done actually. He’d done plenty of other speedruns with the same type of Minecraft. And think about what you’re saying? Five days, where he’d done almost five/six hours of trying to speedrun. You’d get lucky eventually, wouldn’t you? Or just failing over and over and never actually getting it done is awesome! Cool! Go ahead, and go do that for me anon.

And, two months for that video? For a video that literally brought up different statistics that I don’t understand? Not to mention that someone actually asked their father, who studied statistics, and said that it’s a horrible study and let’s just say this: if a person who got their degree studying statistics said “oh hey this study sucks what the fuck” then I believe the person who went to college and studied it more than I believe a person who keeps insulting Dream, his fans, and the proof that I’ve shown you.

“Because people have lives outside of minecraft,” dude we’re in quarantine. Like, what??? Their job literally depends on seeing the Runs, recognizing when someone’s cheating and when they’re not. I don’t know, a lot of work could go into a video and they could actually still be wrong, or maybe a lot of work went into it because they want people to just swallow it and be done. They don’t want to actually fight it, which is fine. Great, but guess what? We’re not six, ten, or even sixteen. Some of us are adults here, and with how many people are actually explaining and helping me understand what the mods are doing, and how they might be wrong. 

No, he didn’t know. They should have told him first, before putting the video out. And if a lot of work went into the video, that means that the mods would have already had a verdict and have known about the final say weeks ago. So, again why’d they wait until his MCC and his Streamies?

I’m not five, so I’m not going to try and change your mind about what you think about Dream’s fans because honestly? I don’t care enough to try and contradict you. The document is flawed, I don’t “handwave” anything, but you’re literally not explaining anything to me.

Maybe it’s just me, but like. Why would he only increase that part? It makes no sense to me, because if you don’t get to the Nether fast enough, don’t get to the Stronghold, don’t kill the dragon fast enough you don’t get a placement. Right? Am I wrong with that? It’s not just pearl drops/blaze rod drops. Because if it’s just those ones, ooo there better be some anti-software on the people who do their runs offline, and there better be some criticisms on them as well. 

Maybe it’s something weird to me, but um, Dream does know how to fast portal? Like have you watched his Manhunts? Maybe he doesn’t do it the way you want him to do it, but he does do it.

Also, I’d really appreciate it if you stopped comparing stans and saying that Dream’s our “god/lord.” I don’t like that, and neither do the people in the fandom. I don’t think that, and neither do most of the people in his fandom, but he supports us and we support him. If it comes out that he did cheat, hey okay. I’d lose a lot of respect for him, but again it’s a block game.

I’m trying to be as nice as I can be, but you’re kinda trying my patience right now. I’ve already said my pieces, I’ve given my evidence, and you’ve said that my evidence is shit so, whatever. If you’re not going to listen and would rather just try and argue with me, please don’t come into my inbox again.

Until you want to have an actual conversation (with words, and helpful explanations and not calling my evidence shit), then we’re done. I won’t reply to another one of your asks, anon, I will delete them.

That’s all. 

[spaced0lphin]

For your salty ask: 1,2,4,5?

1. What OTPs in your fandom do you just not get? I did answer this before but I think upon reflection it's probably Thane. I don't emotionally understand, and some of that is surface-level stuff with me just not finding drell physically appealing, but a lot of it has to do with my inability to reconcile with his... frankly, deadbeat dad performance in regards to Kolyat. Not to get too personal, but for specific personal reasons, deadbeat/absentee dad stuff makes me furious. Sympathetically, I want him to grieve for his wife and recover, I want him to bond with his son and really try for him in the sunset of his life. I know a lot of people get a lot out of Thane and a romance with him, and I think it's beautiful that they find peace in his themes of acceptance, finality and inevitability. I can see those things in that, but I don't feel them myself, and personally I think that's a flaw with me rather than with the character. 2. Any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? That'd be Shakarian, I think. I see Garrus as a super tight best friend who I want to see find happiness, but I don't see it as being with "my" Shepard, anyhow. I've done the romance path, I can see it, I get it, totally understand it - but I don't feel it for myself. It's that transformation from that state to romance that doesn't emotionally track for me. Garrus is one of my Shepard's closest friends, and they share a truly incredible bond, but it isn't a romantic one, for me. I feel like, with my Shepard, there are ghosts of the 'what could have been,' between them, much more from Garrus' side of things. I think he had a crush on "my" Shepard for a while, but saw she was interested in other people that way, and wanted to see her actually happy more than he wanted to chase an idea and is pretty comfortable having put that thought to bed. 4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? Mmm. My NOTP is Joker/EDI and as I mentioned before, I wrote a big massive thing about why. It is popular in the sense that it is the canon one. Honestly, I don't put my feelings about it onto anybody else; they are my feelings, but it genuinely does actually upset me a little bit to see content related to that. I'm mildly embarrassed to admit that, but it's true. It irks me that in most group fanart shots, their relationship is presented in that way. It genuinely puts me in a bad mood. It sucks, because I love EDI as a character, and I love the banter they have between each other, but I've had to block her character tag as well as any other tags I can think of relating to that pairing. I won't block any tags relating to just Jeff himself, but that's a minefield sometimes as well because occasionally that content is posted just tagging him. Feels bad, man. 5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? Only in relation to the above. It's hard to find platonic stuff to do with Joker and EDI just... bantering or discussing personhood between themselves from their own unique perspectives. Canon kind of ruined EDI for me in 3 by giving her a silly fembot body and pigeonholing her. Canon ruined her for me much more than fandom ever did, but it's the reinforcement of all that from fandom that really has made me kind of allergic to content dealing with her and that sucks. I tend to form my own views about ships and pairings and all the rest of it. I wouldn't say Shakarian has been ruined for me by fandom, but fandom has made me more wary of it than I'd like to be, and that's because Shakarians can have some truly nutty devotees that go beyond passion and into like... aggression, and even spite towards other characters? I don't like the way a lot of Shakarian treats Kaidan, for example. The way Shakarian treats Kaidan can really, really get my back up, because I love Kaidan and I just don't see him as this like... bitter, possessive person like fandom can sometimes make him out to be.

[itsclydebitches]

I've never played WOW, but my friends into it. I might as well try. Any advice for someone who's never touched a MMO?

Oh, fun question! It’s actually hard for me to think of things I’d have wanted to know when starting out because I started playing MMOs around age... 9? So in some respects I grew up alongside the genre, rather than trying to learn it after the fact, but some things I’d highlight about WoW now is:

Don’t worry about your race/class. There is SO MUCH about the “right” and “wrong” way to create a character, but at the end of the day you should choose whatever interests and appeals to you most. The caveat to that is that picking a tank or a healer class will put a bit more responsibility on your shoulders  — whether you like it or not at times  — so just be aware of that. Some people like taking on a specific role, others (me) do not. There are also classes that are better suited to soloing as much of the game as possible, if that’s something you’re interested in. 

Regardless, you will have to play with others eventually. If your friends are already into WoW it sounds like you have a good community/potential guild to turn to, but I’d recommend waiting until you feel confident in playing your character before entering groups with strangers. Frankly, the WoW community can be pretty damn toxic. I’m no expert, but I’ve played it long enough to feel confident in my abilities and I’m still cursed out by pissed off dungeon groups if we wipe. Raids will expect you to have learned the fights via youtube prior to coming in and when many inevitably haven’t (because it’s a game and homework shouldn’t be required lol) they’ll start yelling too. PvP is just a mess of accusations and slurs, depending on how badly it’s going... so yeah. I don’t want to make it sound like WoW is made up of nothing but assholes, but there are enough to make an impression. It’s something to avoid if you’re not feeling up to it, but given how much of the later content requires working with others, wait until you’re geared, have a good handle on your class, and are in a good head space before diving in. Or stick to playing with friends. 

Speaking of friends, if you do want to play with them I’d recommend picking their faction (Horde or Alliance). That will allow you to visit each other in major cities, help with the same quests, queue up for activities together, etc. Though the story has moved away from the Horde vs. Alliance rivalry recently, the gameplay still very much divides them. 

Check out everything you can (without getting too overwhelmed!) WoW has a LOT going on and while very little is required, much of it is beneficial while also being easy to miss, just by virtue of there being so much to do. Pick up any quests you find, explore as much of the world as you can, talk to NPCs, save the loot you get, etc. You can always get rid of something  — drop a quest, destroy/sell an item  — but it’s a bummer if you just go and sell everything only to realize you actually needed all that stuff for something else. So go slow and check out your options before making decisions. 

To help with that, I recommend WoWhead and Icy Veins for info, or just good old-fashioned plugging the thing into google with “wow” next to it. How often do I look stuff up? Constantly. MMOs don’t have cheating culture the way a single-player game might (I mean, there’s absolutely cheating, just not in the same way), so don’t be afraid to just google anything and everything you want. The comment sections of a page are your best friend. Whereas the official description may give you an overwhelming amount of information you don’t actually need, player comments tend to focus on what others really want to know: here’s where to find this NPC, yes this quest is bugged, make sure you do X before Y, etc. WoW has become a lot more accessible over the years in terms of helping players figure things out, but it’s still confusing at times, so make use of any resource you please. 

Another “cheat” is to use addons. I’d recommend grabbing WoWMatrix which will allow you to (safely) download addons without any of the hassle of putting it in the correct folders. I’d recommend Bagnon (makes all your bags open as a single window so you can see all your loot at once), Bartender (allows you to customize your action bar), Coordinates (puts a tiny, movable coordinates button on your screen which is basically necessary at this point to find things. Players will almost always provide coordinates when giving locations), HandyNotes (provides lots of info on your map, like how you go about summoning a rare mob), Pawn (helps you compare gear to see what’s best for your class/specialization), and if you do any PvP, Healers Have to Die, or HHTD, which marks all healers with a cross so they’re easy to spot in battle (always kill healers first! :D). WoWMatrix is SUPER easy to use  — just search for the addons you want via the application, download them, delete if you don’t like ‘em, and open it once in a while to “Update All” — and the various addons you can use are an absolute godsend. They make playing the base game that much better. 

If you’re someone invested in the story side of games, lore is going to be very weird here, just because WoW is 16 years old and you’ll be entering into the 8th expansion. I’ve played WoW since it came out and I don’t know wtf is going on a lot of the time lol. So just roll with it, or if you’re interested, make use of wikis, the novels, etc. But it’s not the sort of game where you’re in trouble if you have no idea who this person is or what battle they’re talking about. Just accept whatever they want you to do and pick up the story wherever you came in. 

You’re going to die a lot. A lot, a lot. That’s fine, everyone does. Again, not the sort of game where that’s a problem. Just know that you can either return to your corpse (flying there as a ghost) or rez at the graveyard you appear in if you’re willing to deal with a bad debuff for like 10 minutes. Also, all armor has durability that goes down over time, but it goes down faster the more you die, so you’ll want to repair (finding an NPC with the anvil icon) soon afterwards. 

There’s lots of little things to learn like that: a brown bag icon means you can sell to this person, blue exclamation marks are quests that will reappear daily, items with a gray name (as opposed to white, green, blue, or purple) are pretty much just junk and you can always sell them... there’s a lot. Pick things up as you go, keeping in mind that you’ll be given SO MUCH INFORMATION and no, you’re not going to learn it all at once. Part of the fun is figuring stuff out and seeing yourself improve. Feel free to ask questions too (there’s a chat box and you can speak to an entire zone at once), though frankly it’s a 50/50 chance whether someone will give an actual answer, or just roast you lol 

If you ever want to play “seriously,” I’d kinda recommend learning WoW with keybinding early on  — AKA, creating button shortcuts for various spells/skills so your mouse is only used for camera movement and targeting, rather than wasting time looking for the action you want to click on. I say “kinda” because I don’t do that. At this point my click method is too ingrained in my muscle memory for anything else, but I recognize that I’m in the minority for saying that’s an “okay” way to play. 

Anything is okay though. Do whatever. I mean, the above aside, literally my best advice is to just throw yourself headfirst into the game, accept that you’re going to mess so much up, shrug, and have fun with it. I spent an hour of my life running a Tourghast floor today... and then wasn’t able to beat the final boss. So I “wasted” that time since I didn’t get the loot, but who cares? It was fun! Literally do whatever and don’t let any of the assholes get to you. Someone sends a message you don’t like? Block them (right click their name in the chat box to get the option). Group is making you uncomfortable? Leave. Don���t know how to do something? Google it! The best thing about an MMO is also the most overwhelming: it’s a whole world with (almost) endless options, so though that freedom is exciting, it also means you have to curate your own experience. It’s a bit like being here on tumblr. Figure out all the nuances at you own pace, lurk as long as you’d like, and if someone is being annoying, google how to keep them out of your inbox. 

Idk how helpful any of these tips are, but I hope you enjoy it!! 😊

[felicityfiction]

i listened to taylor swift and wanted to write a thing. woosang from ateez because their friendship is so precious!! this was written in like an hour. the grammar is bad and the tenses are alll over the place and theres nothing even resembling STRUCTURE but it’s 3am and i needed catharsis!

Wooyoung realises. Maybe a little bit too late.

the classic childhood best friends trope that i love because i think that the best kind of love develops slowly, and not all at once.

“The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind”

Wooyoung glared at his phone, desperately wringing his hands together. pick up, pick up. fuck

the call went to voicemail. wooyoung dropped his face into his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes as hard as he could, breathing turning ragged. where are you where are you come back

he knew he had no right to demand anything at this point. this was his fault. but an eerily silent group chat sent chills down the back of his spine and left regret clawing at the back of his throat. i didn’t mean it.

he waited for a moment, then picked up his phone from the table. he scrolled down to his latest chat, rereading the messages that had already imprinted themselves onto the back of his eyelids, haunting him, taunting him.

me: god, san, please. just tell me where he is, if he’s alright.

san: it’s not my place to say anything. i can’t speak for him.

me: that’s bullshit. he’s avoiding me, not you. not all of you.

san: not the point

me: none of you are on my side.

san: how can we be? did you hear yourself last night, woo?

me: i get it i fucking get it. i was an asshole. i’m trying to make it right

san: i don’t know that you can.

the scene blazed across wooyoung’s memory, hot and painful. it was all clenched fists, parted lips and wide eyes full of-

of what, he didn’t even know. a mix of sadness, disappointment and regret.

the worst part was the lack of anger. his best friend had a temper shorter than anyone else he had ever met, but anger was easy. anger could be dispelled with time, breathing, and wooyoung’s self proclaimed irresistible charm.

wooyoung got scared when he saw emotions he didn’t recognise, not even after 10 years of friendship.

and because wooyoung was a coward, he pretended that he couldn’t see, and let his best friend walk out his front door to god knows where. that was a week ago. and in the span of that week, wooyoung spiralled. he was grasping at straws, trying to fix the situation.

nothing worked. his best friend had wiped himself off social media and gone radio silent on every messaging app. the number that he memorised like the back of his hand went straight to voicemail, every single time. the worst part was his house. it felt cold and barren, without the familiar voice trailing from the living room when wooyoung woke up.

wooyoung was missing something that he didn’t know he had.

—

“you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye”

love.

wooyoung believed in love just as much as the next person. he was a clingy extrovert who thrived off attention. he had grown up with hugs and kisses from his mom, the occasional girlfriend, and hoards of his classmates in school that vied for his attention. jung wooyoung was the epitome of lovable.

jung wooyoung didn’t know how to love.

rather, he didn’t understand that love came in different forms. love could come from the most withdrawn, silent individual. you just needed to know where to look, beyond the physical affection and vocal admiration.

jung wooyoung couldn’t sense it.

not in the “tell me about your day” that always popped up when he ended dance practice at 8pm, exhausted and cranky but always ready to complain about every single thing that had ticked him off.

not in the magical cups of coffee that appeared on his school desk the day of exams, sometimes with a little post it note. “you got this”

not in the silent presence that was by his side watching him play video games with someone else. the presence that worked mutely in his kitchen, greeting wooyoung with a dinner that he never asked for, but was somehow always what he wanted. the presence that never uttered anything to ask for wooyoung’s attention, seemingly content with just being next to him.

jung wooyoung was a fool.

buried under his covers, he clamped his hands against his ears, pressing as hard as he could,as if he could drown out his own voice sounding in his mind.

are you out of your mind? he heard himself say, over and over again. this isn’t a good prank, man.

then silence. the silence that was always comfortable and reliable, suddenly turned suffocating and tense. it was as if a barrier had erected itself between him and the person he thought he knew like the back of his hand

again, those eyes. the eyes that conveyed everything his impassive face didn’t. shining with mirth when wooyoung lost a game, dripping with fondness when wooyoung danced on stage,blazing with irritation as he shoved wooyoung away from him if he was disturbing his studying.

blank, distant eyes. wooyoung felt his stomach drop, the same sensation that he felt

at that very moment, like he lost something very important that he couldn’t get back.

—

“so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night.”

wooyoung had had enough. all his friends wouldn’t give him a straight answer to a very simple where is he?

wooyoung was nothing if not stubborn. he was going to find him, and fix everything. he didn’t know how, but he was going to do it.

frankly, it was almost a miracle that they hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, not even by accident. it was like he was going out of his way to avoid the places in campus that he knew wooyoung was going to be at, as if he memorised wooyoung’s timetable and classes and oh

he memorised wooyoung’s timetable, classes and practices. wooyoung stilled, feet stopping beside an empty classroom as he stared blankly at the empty hallway in front of him. classes were starting, and wooyoung was supposed to be in his European History lecture, but he literally could not care less about world war 2 at this moment.

how had he never noticed?

he was always slouched against a locker when wooyoung ended a 6pm economics lecture, whining for food and sleep. always outside the dance practice room hidden in a far block on campus at 10pm on fridays and sundays, with a bottle of water and wooyoung’s favourite ice cream. he always knew when wooyoung’s exams were, and made it a point to appear after every paper, ready to take wooyoung out for chicken. as a celebration if he did well, as a consolation if wooyoung was ready to burst into tears.

always there,without fail. it was the perfect summary of their friendship for the past decade,really.

and wooyoung would be damned if he let that slip through his fingers.

walking with a flame of newfound determination, he wandered through the school until he arrived outside the science labs. as an Arts student, he was never here. perhaps because he was never the one waiting. never reciprocating.

but the large white doors of the biology labs seemed daunting to him, even as he came to a halt in front of one with a plaque reading “anatomy lab”.

anatomy practical, 5pm. block D, level 3.

that was what he found after searching up the timetable of the medical students in his year.

the clock ticked closer to 630pm, when the class would be released. wooyoung tried to use the remaining moments to compose himself. he wasn’t going to throw a tantrum, he was here to apologise. he couldn’t start with why the fuck have you not talked to me in two weeks you bastard.

he wasn’t the bastard. wooyoung was. he was prepared to start with hey, i’m sorry. can we please talk?

but then the doors swung open, and students in lab coats filed past him. some looked at him curiously, and some waved, asking about a party happening this weekend. wooyoung just nodded and smiled, chest tightening, body bracing, like he was ready to be slapped.

and a metaphorical slap had never hurt as much before.

black nike shoes screeched to a halt metres away from him. the same worn shoes that had a permanent place in the shoe rack in front of wooyoung’s door.

wooyoung was staring, and he forgot how to speak.

he couldn’t recognise the person with swollen eyes and messy hair standing in front of him. his best friend was always impeccably neat, something that wooyoung constantly teased him about.

now, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. maybe two weeks. he looked at wooyoung as if he was going to lunge forward and sock him in the stomach.he looked at wooyoung with fear.

his lips clamped shut, while wooyoung struggled to get out the words he practiced. “i-“

he ran. wooyoung could only watch as his best friend bolted past him, barely grazing his shoulder as he fled. it still felt like a slap to the face. wooyoung was rooted to the spot, his blood felt like lead, he couldn’t move-

“if you don’t go after him, i will personally destroy you.” seonghwa glared at him, taking the place of the boy that ran, but substantially closer to wooyoung. he poked a finger into wooyoung’s chest, sighing loudly.

“he refuses to leave his house except for class. he won’t talk to anyone. he won’t go for his drone flying club or whatever the fuck he participates in. he’s broken, wooyoung, and we can’t fix him.” only you can

“fix him. fix the both of you.”

—

“if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right.”

wooyoung stood outside apartment number 4B, and his heart ached at how familiar it was. he was always welcome, but now it felt as if it was an impenetrable fortress that would swallow him whole.

he had nothing. no food, which he always used to appease his best friend’s anger. because this wasn’t anger. no prepared acts of acting cute, because this wasn’t irritation. just his heart in his hands, ready to be bared and presented. perhaps as a gift, more likely as a sacrifice. it was a sacrifice he was willing to give up.

“i know you’re in there.”

nothing

“i didn’t come here to hurt you.”

quiet.

“please.”

all he could hear was the ringing in his ears.

wooyoung breathed in once, deep. “fine. it’s okay, i’ll talk from here. i’m just banking on the fact that you’ll hear me out. it doesn’t matter if you don’t respond.”

this was the hardest thing wooyoung had ever done.

“i’m sorry. i know that’s the most useless thing to say right now, but i have to. i’m sorry i acted that way after what you said. i was being a complete idiot, and a jerk. you know i am that way, but that doesn’t excuse it. i’m really, really sorry”

breath two

“i miss you. it’s honestly been hell, these two weeks. my apartment’s a mess. all i’ve been eating is instant food, and honestly i couldn’t give a shit about all the tests we have right now. it’s always silent in there. i can’t blame all the guys for ignoring me, i deserve it, but it’s just- it’s just hard. i got used to you always being there. and it’s like i can’t function when you’re not.”

breath three

“i know i’m being selfish. i’m starting to think that i’m inherently a bad person, because even now i’m still thinking about myself. seonghwa said you haven’t left your house, that you won’t do anything. i’m sorry. fuck, i really am. you shouldn’t do all that. you shouldn’t have to suffer, you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m the one that made the mistake. so please, come back. you don’t have to come back to me, but the guys. they’re worried. so am I, but i’m past the point of deserving anything from you.”

breath 4

“i couldn’t stop thinking about that night.” wooyoung dropped his gaze, even though the door remained resolutely shut

“i know you can’t either. fuck, i messed up. i didn’t mean any of that shit, i honestly don’t know why i said that. but i’ve been thinking about it. about you. i think about you a lot.”

here goes nothing

“you’re important to me. you’ve always been, since we were dumb kids fighting over a soccer ball in the school playground. and i think i just finally realised how, how much i started to rely on you. i need you. it’s like i can’t breathe without you, and i just realised because you were always there,and i didn’t know to miss you. fuck, i miss you. “

“i’m pathetic. i don’t know how to understand you like you understand me. i don’t know why you put up with me, i’d probably get tired of myself. but you do. and i-“

wooyoung struggled to get his bearings through the shaky breaths that come through his lips, eyes blurry. there’s so much he wants to say.

like how he finally understands the meaning behind every little action that he took for granted. how his eyes have finally opened to another way of communicating, of expressing care and concern.

i know. i know it’s your language, and i must have been fucking blind my whole life to miss it but please don’t stop talking to me i’m just starting to understand.

how he realises just how much his best friend means to him, right when he’s on the brink of losing him

“i get it now. you’ve always been too good for me. and i’m sorry it took this for me to see what was always in front of me”

wooyoung can be brave for once. wooyoung can be the one giving.

—

“and if the chain is on your door, i understand.”

three words. just three words.

“i love you.”

wooyoung shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to stop the hot tears. the door is still shut, and the silence is threatening to overwhelm him.

“i don’t expect you to accept that. i know i hurt you. but i had to come and say it. maybe this is me being selfish again.”

one last breath.

“but i swear on everything we’ve ever promised over the past 10 years. i mean it. yeosang, if you can hear me, i love you. i should’ve said it back that night, i don’t know why i didn’t, because now i look back and i think i must have loved you from the start.”

wooyoung blinked rapidly, and tilts his head upright to start at the block of mahogany in front of him.

“if you’re out of your mind, then i am too.” a wry smile found its way onto his lips as his mind replays a decade of laughter and memories, bitterly juxtaposed against the crippling loneliness and fear he feels right now. he’s going to walk away, and his best friend isn’t going to chase him.

“i’m gonna go now. i’m sorry, yeo. i won’t blame you for not believing me.”

—

but apparently jung wooyoung still doesn’t understand kang yeosang.

kang yeosang has never been able to push wooyoung away. not when they were 10, and definitely not when they’re 20.

someone grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt and yanked him back harshly. wooyoung stumbled, and his heart flipped in his chest. before he can comprehend anything, he’s being pinned against the mahogany door, but on the other side.

wooyoung loves yeosang’s eyes, because they burn with an intensity that is incomparable to anything else. wooyoung is still crying.

“if there’s one thing i hate about myself, it’s that i don’t know how to not love you, jung wooyoung.”

wooyoung thinks that he finally, finally, comprehends everything as yeosang crushes their bodies together in a semblance of a hug. but it’s tinged with desperation, and years of unspoken words and hidden actions. it’s the physical representation of please don’t leave me.

jung wooyoung is a fool. but he’s starting to learn.

lesson number 1: he’s in love with kang yeosang.

[adamrevi3ws]

Jedi: Fallen Order

When I finished playing DOOM, I told myself that the next game I would play wouldn’t be one that pissed me off. Unfortunately, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order did not live up to those expectations.

While the source of my frustration with DOOM was mainly growing pains with its intense gameplay and action, Fallen Order mainly drew ire from me due to its unfinished and unpolished nature. Its publisher, EA, is in the same club as Ubisoft, Bethesda, and apparently now CD Projekt Red, often releasing games as broken glitchy messes when they first come out to meet quick deadlines. I’ve seen and heard how unplayable this game was at launch, and while it isn’t as bad as it was then, it still has enough subtle mistakes to ruin my gameplay experience. The main source of this and my frustration, in general, was the extremely finicky and unresponsive controls, particularly found in its two main selling points: platforming (and plot but I’ll talk about that later) directly lifted, if not plagiarized from the Uncharted games, and Dark Souls-esque combat gameplay. Nothing really lines up or “clicks” when it really needs to. Regarding the platforming, it feels like it takes a miracle to properly grab onto something and takes a thousand tries for a jump to work. When the double jump gets introduced, it really only works when the game, in its divine ignorance, feels the whim to let it work. A lot of reviewers complained about the difficult and unwieldy ice slide sequences in the game, and while I had my fair share of annoyance on a very specific ice slide, I think it’s just a symptom of a much larger problem. The combat shares this similar “the game only works when it wants to” problem. You don’t always dodge or block right when you want it to, but I think its biggest problem is healing. Instead of pressing a button and having part of your health restored, pressing said button instead “calls” your robot companion, which needs to do a special little animation and THEN you get healed, which takes a long 15 seconds. Not only does this waste a good amount of time in a game where time is absurdly precious in its hardcore combat, but every other time I tried calling the damn robot it straight up ignored me. I don’t know if this is a glitch, or it needs a cooldown period, or you can’t heal while being hit by an enemy, but it made the fights a lot more unnecessarily grating than they already are. Speaking of straight up screw you moments from the game, whenever I hit the “target” button in close combat with multiple enemies, it’d always target the farthest away enemy, for no reason. All of this is a shame because these main gameplay components are actually quite fun when they aren’t broken? A lot of the level design allows for really fast and exhilarating platforming that is absurdly fun when it syncs up, but that’s only, like half of the time. The combat can be enjoyable too, allowing for some great lightsaber duel boss fights, which can feel pretty cinematic when the combat actually works.

Outside of gameplay, the game’s unfinished nature shows itself a lot in its cutscenes. Its graphics just straight up dip and fail to fully render for 90% of these moments, often also feeling extremely choppy and cutting off a bit too soon. There was even one time an enemy was supposed to show up in a cutscene to initiate a boss fight but they just weren’t there and it was quite confusing because it felt like the main character was speaking to an empty wall. Around the middle of the game, both cutscenes and gameplay sequences would just freeze, and this is probably the first game I’ve played in a while to straight up crash on my PS4. If the developers took an extra, idk six months to actually fix this game a bit more I’d rate it a lot higher than I am now. I was actually warned about the game’s poor performance before playing, with a friend mentioning its horrible load times, but I didn’t know it’d be this bad. As my unopened copy of the infamous Cyberpunk 2077 waits on my mantlepiece for the developers to actually make it a playable game months after its release, I fear it may have the same fate as Fallen Order, still being quite a bit buggy and annoying over a year after its messy launch.

With its buggy and incohesive gameplay in mind, Jedi: Fallen Order’s strongest element is its plot. To my surprise, this is much less of a Star Wars game and more a game that just happens to be set in the Star Wars universe. Taking place between episodes 3 and 4, I kind of expected it to be an epic quest detailing the rise of the rebel alliance, but instead, I got a more generic treasure hunt storyline heavily reminiscent of the Uncharted series. Although this sounds quite disappointing, the game’s plot still soars in its great character arcs and setpieces interspersed the vague framework of its less-than-original overall plot. Combine these great individual moments with an absolutely bombastic ending and it almost makes trudging through the glitchy gameplay worth it. This is elevated by some great voice acting performances, particularly from Cameron Monaghan, who gives a movie star performance to the main character, even in a lot of moments where he doesn’t have much to work with. The setting is also a high point. Disney’s milking of Star Wars has led to a variety of media set between episodes 3 and 4, this game feels particularly special because it is more focused on the aftermath of Episode 3 rather than the buildup to Episode 4, which I think the rest of the media in this era is focused on. It’s clear that there are so many parts of the game that the studio put a lot of love in, ranging from the plot, to the memorable soundtrack (Mongolian throat singing, anyone?), to even the hilarious enemy dialogue, I just wish they put this amount of effort to make the game fully playable.

The one elephant in the room regarding this game that I haven’t mentioned so far is the game’s worlds/levels themselves. They aren’t annoyingly unpolished like the gameplay but aren’t really a labor of love either. Instead what we get is an admittedly gorgeous maze of areas within a few planets, constantly getting more twisty and confusing as you go on. It may visually resemble an open world, but it is very much a series of paths that make you go “hmmmm, should I go back to that other branching path to see if there are any healing upgrades or character customization options I can collect?” There’s nothing wrong about this MetroidVania style format, but frankly it’s not my type. A lot of the areas look visually similar so it’s quite easy to get lost, and despite each planet’s map being absurdly big, there’s no way to actually fast travel between areas, just between planets. Finally, the incentive to go back and explore isn’t particularly convincing, where the healing upgrades are a bit too well concealed and the character customization options are like, absurdly mid. This is the one time I actually wished an EA game had its own in-game currency so I could buy something cooler than “the same damn poncho you’re wearing except a slightly less boring color combination.” Come on, man! The one good thing I’ll say about the overall game world is that the in-game map highlights which paths you haven’t explored yet, making it much easier to get on track. While the game’s maze-like level style isn’t necessarily my thing, I think if the developers tried to make it a bit more interesting a lot of people would get a kick out of it.

Jedi: Fallen Order is a game that finally made me understand my college professors that went a bit too hard on my grammar mistakes when grading papers. The central content and ideas this game presents have a lot of potential, but they’re heavily weighed down by an infinite number of fixable mistakes. I give this game a 6.7 out of 10 stars.