#fragmented (musings)

[scelestic-reveries]

How about you just engrave your warmth on me.

Scelestic Reveries - Fragmented Musings. 

[mournfulroses]

Alexander Blok, from a poem titled "To The Muse," featured in The Twelve & Other Poems

[feral-ballad]

Bianca Stone, from What Is Otherwise Infinite: Poems; “Beatrices”

[Text ID: “I let him / cannibalize my face, my hands. / Let him worship me for his own vanity. / (For no muse gets to be real to herself.)”]

[blushingxpilgrims]

i could tell you now

or bite my tongue

until it bleeds

and hide you in between

the lines of my poetry

—i could tell you, 2024

[harbingersecho]

misrecognition is not ignorance

[leneemusing]

"and when the night gave way to the early dawn, and the sun tried to warm me, i found i had grown all too accustomed to the coldness of the shadows. i wished for it like a child cries for the tatters of a blanket it has outgrown."

[evangelistofmurder]

Chapter 4 Musing + Bonus thoughts in tags

I've been thinking about this recently and realized: Yakou did have a chance of surviving the gas but made the deliberate choice not to:

[Solution Key - Toxic Gas Properties]

Yakou could have asked Desuhiko for a space suit; I don't even think the latter would question it either, this hammers more of the fact that the plan was a murder-suicide from the start. Though, this is the same man who takes dying over and over again in considering and still went through with it.

He really only needed Desuhiko's and Fubuki's fortes to enact the murder, but he brings Halara and Vivia to the lab as well. Yakou knows damn well the peacekeepers, especially Yomi will look for any excuse to arrest/execute the NDA. He brings Halara and Vivia to protect Fubuki, Desuhiko and Yuma; Yomi accuses the remaining NDA detectives for Yakou's 'murder' anyways. It was somewhat fruitless but the fact of the matter is to say even when lying to the others he did still care about them. Just as much as Yakou cared about the NDA the latter cared about Yakou just as much too. Yakou was really the heart of the NDA; Yakou just never took into account that everyone else would try desperately to save his life instead of just leaving him. (Going on a whim, to say he probably thought they'd just leave like how his former detectives left to join the peackeepers).

Yuma trying to beg Yomi to get Yakou medical attention, Fubuki using all her energy to rewind time in order save him, Halara administrating first aid after fighting the peackeepers, Desuhiko having to tell Fubuki to not to turn back time any further so the Chief can rest because it is too late and Vivia just standing there walking away since he doesn't know how to deal with it and express it directly. Hell, Halara was potentially giving CPR to his corpse in hopes that he'd stay alive after Yuma and Vivia checked Huesca's logs.

Finally, there's everyone's collective survivors guilt. It's safe to assume everyone knew what happened before Number One called in whether Yuma or Vivia said something; There's also Kurumi who wasn't even at the lab asking if they made a mistake by going.

In closing, it's a tragedy in every single way and I don't even think I hit everything in this musing; To me this is more focused on the NDA's perception of events

[I'd appreciate if people made responses to this by the way!!]

[ruminiscence]

Paris: A Year Abroad in a short film

Audio: "Burnt Norton" by Lana Del Rey, a rendition of the original poem "Burnt Norton" by T.S. Eliot.

Where do I even start? Paris has wholly shaped me in ways I never imagined. We refer to Paris as the city of love, but I'm now more inclined to call it the city of art - which only leaves more room for love in your heart. There is so much to contemplate and appreciate in frequenting the vast array of art museums here - from the Louvre, Musée d’Orsay, Musée de l’Orangerie, the Centre Georges Pompidou, and many more. Not only has my perspective on art expanded, but so has my worldview. That’s because art is truly everywhere in this city; art can be found in the walkable streets amidst the rich architecture, the fashionable outfits seen in daily life, and even the exquisite decor in stores and when you cheekily peek into Parisian appartments!

There's always something new to discover in Paris, I'm almost saddened at the thought of the things I've yet to discover or missed. The treasures to unveil in Paris move far beyond the typical tourist hotspots we all know and love. I am obsessed with Parisian boutiques; they are chic and unique (that unintentionally rhymed) in the best way possible. One of my favourites is La Tonkinoise à Paris, located in the 11th arrondissement. This particular arrondissmenet is the best in Paris to be honest, it holds a special place in my heart as I had the wonderful opportunity of living there, so perhaps you can say that I am somewhat biased. Still, I can confidently say that this animated, hip and creative neighbourhood is one everyone should have the chance to explore.

La Tonkinoise à Paris, owned by the lovely Chantal, is my favourite hidden gem in Paris. I had the pleasure of befriending Chantal as I ended up frequenting her store one too many times; I've garnered quite a collection over time. This boutique offers a wide range of eccentric and sustainable jewellery, with her earring creations being the show stoppers, in my opinion. Her jewellery is composed of rings, pearls, brooches, charms, and watches, all unearthed in flea markets and recycled. I love that every piece of jewellery indeed is a unique piece. The decor changes based on the season and theme of her new collections, making it an ever-changing and exciting shopping experience. This is honestly the best jewellery store I have ever been to in my life! I wish the pictures I took could do the jewellery and the boutique's decor justice, but it simply won't, I'm afraid.

Now, onto food, I genuinely need to figure out where to start here. My favourite authentic French restaurant would have to be 'Le Potager du Père Thierry', located in Montmartre. Although it's incredibly small, I love the cosy vibe; I feel like I can enjoy delicious food with friends without feeling surrounded by strangers. Surprisingly, it's also very quiet (yet packed) - I guess the food is just too distracting.

As of late, my favourite non-french restaurant has to be 'Big Black Cook' (let's ignore how inappropriate that pun is, though funny). It's located in the 2nd arrondissement and serves Caribbean food, my friend claims that it was the best meat she's had!

For brunch, I recommend Café Méricourt in the 11th arrondissement. Their green Eggs & Feta are absolutely incredible and quite innovative as far as brunch places go.

As for a boulangerie - seriously, anywhere, literally anywhere in Paris, go to your nearest bakery; there need not be a big fuss - you're in for a scrumptious baked treat regardless!

I'm ever so grateful for the chance to have lived in Paris for an extended period; you cannot appreciate Paris in its entire splendour from a mere short-term visit. The city is an actual work of art; art is everywhere in the city, from the street performers and musicians, the light filters through the trees, the city's many architecturally rich bridges, the picturesque cafés and boulangeries, the beautifully presented food, the way that the city's many different neighbourhoods each have their own distinct character and vibe. In Paris, art is everywhere.

[wordsfromwise]

[heuldoch7b]

hmm. magnus musings. this is a bit dense and extremely fluffy information.

• he likes havings peircings/jewelry for the weight it adds, and the feeling when he moves (on top of the cultural normalcy of it). it helps him stay focused and confident, as its a reliable consistent stimulus. he consistently keeps an eyebrow ring, at least a single large peircing on each ear, and a snug set of bangles around his neck, horns, wrists, and ankles. he is fine with rings on his fingers, but they can be a bit overwhelming and arent as commonly seen in the primarch's casual days.

• he is a very gregarious individual (when hes not deep in focus on whatever hes studying at the time), and loves to actually physically touch the people hes socializing with! its normally just a firm touch on the arm or shoulder, or a hug after a conversation has finished. he became more withdrawn post-heresy, and instead you will see him wringing his hands together in one-on-one conversation, or other self-regulating fidgets...

• self-regulation, other than the many bits of jewelery he adorns himself with, falls a lot on his hair. he busies himself by wrapping the locks between his fingers, or combing his digits through a dense part of it. he also enjoys ponytails/hair wrappings, but has had issues of it being too tight in the past, and prefers to do his own hairstylings. you will also see him popping joints regularly, his shoulders and fingers being popular targets.

• the daemon primarch, while intensely more withdrawn, still yearns intensely for the open social atmosphere he grew up surrounded by. he lacks the ability (or the guts) to voice it, and has (embarassingly, he feels) grown meek from the loss and pain. if this is brought to attention, he will rebuke the claim and insist hes grown to be strong enough to leave companionship behind. this goes poorly for him, further isolating himself from potential interpersonal relationships he needs... wait, who said he needed friendship?! no, thats an inane mockery to everything he is, he alone got himself to this power!

• being splintered into many fractures has caused a plethora of issues for magnus' psyche. memory recall is one he can be seen becoming physically distressed when faced with it, clutching at his head frustratedly and avoiding conversation as a whole. ontop of all of the loss surrounding him, it seems his fracturing has even further buried him into depression and unrest. his mood ebbs and flows to the tune of manic conviction to abysmal uncertianty.

[scelestic-reveries]

Maybe it's only at the edge of the abyss that we truly know ourselves.

Scelestic Reveries - Fragmented Musings. 

[mournfulroses]

May Sarton, from Gods & Mortals: Modern Poems on Classics; "The Muse as Medusa,"

[blushingxpilgrims]

look at me

i’m so poetic

(it’s pathetic)

how often i write about you

—pathetic, 2023

[fenkko]

cant believe i reached 30 tags in prev post rambling about homestuck i didnt even know there was a limit

[crowthegeode]

I can feel my spine clicking

Hear my neck grind when I turn my head

I'm more likely to be given away by my joints

Popping when I step wrong, as is so often

Than I am by my footsteps

[abirdandabee]

I hear your voice in the space between breaths, taste your perfume on the wind. I’m jealous of the moonlit kiss goodnight and the sunshine on your skin.