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love-belle · 1 year

Text

i'll be loving you for quite some time !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them pretending as if they aren't back together and having just a little bit fun with everyone.

for when you know it'll be them till the end. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

prequel - i bet you think about me ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - hiiii!!!! so sorry for being inactive i have midterms :/// posting rn bc i js couldn't wait!!!! i hope u like this <3 i love u thank u so much for reading <3

tagged @marsdreamworld @luvrrish @ccallistata @eviethetheatrefreak @f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, alex_albon and 689,625 others

yourusername seeing him tonight it's a bad idea right

6,728 comments

username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS

username MOTHER????? HELLO??????

username ahahahahahahahaha hey there!!!!!!

username she's actually so ❤️

username HELLO THE CAPTION WHAT

-> yourusername i js love my daughter oliviarodrigo

-> oliviarodrigo mom 🫶🏼

username the absolute lack of petty posts we've had from lando and y/n..........

-> username no bc WHAT ARE THEY COOKING 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

username pls get back with lando and put me out of my misery 🙏

username what the fuck is going on

username THE CAPTION??? Y/N WHAT.

username no bc i need them BACK together like asap 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

danielricciardo very bad idea

-> yourusername he's annoying

-> danielricciardo very true

username DANIEL SPILL 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

username ahahahahahahahaha!!!!! what.

username js one chance i will never shade u like lando did

username no bc i need them back together before valentine's bc i CANNOT miss on their posts for each like

-> username "here's to my forever valentine, ur annoying and i'm in love ❤️" IM CRYING

-> username istg i will never get over them ://

username FUCK IT IT'S FINE

*liked by yourusername*

charles_leclerc again, listen to me and don't go

-> alexandrasaintmleux shut up

-> yourusername fr

-> charles_leclerc WHY AM I BEING BULLIED

username all the grid is plotting against lando and im here for every second of it

username may god bless the dinosaur that died in order to create the fossil that was processed to fuel that took the car to bring her mom to the hospital to give birth to her

-> yourusername wow

username if she's seeing lando i will SCREAM

username all jokes aside, if they really REALLY broke up then i hope that everyone leaves them alone bc imagine everyone bringing ur ex (the one whom u dated for such a long time) into everything like if i were her that would RUIN me

-> username fr like i love them both but if they really broke up then i hope people leave them alone

username mother is mothering so hard

maxverstappen1 do you not remember what happened the last time?

-> yourusername it wasn't that bad

-> danielricciardo yes it was

-> charles_leclerc yes it was

-> kellypiquet yes it was

-> carlossainz55 yes it was

-> pierregasly yes it was

-> lewishamilton yes it was

-> lilymhe yes it was

-> carmenmmundt yes it was

-> heidiberger_ yes it was

-> yourusername oh my god

-> username LMFAOAOOAOA

-> username bruh the CROWD here rn

username earth is weirdly off it's axis since ur break up pls get back with dad ❤️

username no bc lando better be on all fours if he wants her back like nothing less is VALID

username HER.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 796,426 others

landonorris feels like a taylor swift song

8,728 comments

username LANDO NORRIS WHO IS THAT.

username TOO MUCH TO DISSECT THE LYRICS THE PHOTOS

username THAT'S GOT TO BE Y/N I WILL CRY IF THAT'S NOT HER

username if that's not y/n i will burn down mclaren

-> mclaren fix yourself landonorris

-> landonorris STOP PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT

-> username admin is done with his shit

username yo wtfff

username babe wake up new y/n and lando lore js dropped ❤️

danielricciardo interesting choice of photos

-> landonorris thank you ☺️

username i will not sleep until i get answers

username we !! need !! answers !!

username genuinely on the edge of my seat fr like WHATTT

username the lyrics speak VOLUMES

username no bc if this is not y/n i will in SHAMBLES

-> username FRRRR LIKE WDYM MY COMFORT COUPLE ARE OVER

username guys i know it was for funsies before but it's getting a bit silly now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-> username fr like y'all can stop pranking us now thank u.

charles_leclerc i hope she leaves you. AGAIN.

-> landonorris what have i ever done to you.

-> charles_leclerc ate my pasta

-> maxverstappen1 no offense but the day someone eats your pasta, it's the pearly gates for them

-> landonorris facts

-> pierregasly never eat charles' pasta

-> alex_albon it's deadly

-> charles_leclerc STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PASTA

-> charles_leclerc lando i hope she dumps you

-> landonorris you taKE THAT BACK

username LANDO WE NEED ANSWERS

username what the fuck is going is

username nice joke 😐😐😐😐 hard launch NOW.

username no bc that's y/n i don't take any criticism

username where tf are the twitter girlies they need to play detective rn

username lando this is ur last chance at confirming if that's y/n or not or else im hugging a tree at 178 mph

georgerussell63 you don't even listen to taylor swift

-> landonorris i'm a changed man

-> georgerussell63 you're barely a man

-> landonorris BLOCKED

username i live for the grid violating lando at every possible chance

username this has to be illegal they're playing with my blood pressure

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 713,729 others

yourusername date night but it's js me telling u about my succulents and my cats

8,137 comments

username DATE NIGHT

username mom r u done with dad be so honest

username WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDERN (us)

username stay together for the kids ❤️

username SHE'S SO ANGELIC WHATCTHEBFUCK

username oh i js died died

alexandrasaintmleux pretty baby 🤍

-> yourusername i love u 🤍

username forever in awe of her likeeee

username im so in love i might stop breathing

username u can talk to me about plants any day of week!!!!!! i'll even bring my plants and they can have a little photosynthetic date!!!!! and u and i a humanistic one

username i am coming for u mclaren

danielricciardo i wasn't aware of you going on a date - lando (PLEASE UNBLOCK ME)

-> yourusername yeah it's js with this loser 💔 (no.)

-> danielricciardo wow and to think i chose your favourite place tonight UNBLOCK ME

-> yourusername no ❤️

-> username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS INTERACTION

-> username they're talking?????? omg??????

-> username not him still being blocked 😭😭😭😭😭

danielricciardo real daniel here please unblock him

-> yourusername lando give daniel his phone back

-> danielricciardo FUCK YOU

-> yourusername this isn't getting u any brownie points

-> danielricciardo I DON'T WANT ANY I WANT YOU BACK

*danielricciardo deleted this comment*

-> username OH I SAW THAT OMG

-> username lando in his redemption era we love to see it

username i love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username lando im puncturing ur tires

username someone check on how lando's doing

lilymhe gorgeous 🫶🏼 you can talk my ear off any day

-> yourusername lily i ADORE u <3

username lando r u still breathing

username AHAHHHHSHDHDHDHDJDKDKSK

-> username real

username my pronouns are she not her bc i'll never be HER

lewishamilton please unblock him he's about to cry

-> maxverstappen1 tears are welling

-> charles_leclerc he's sniffling

-> carlossainz55 eyes have glossed over

-> oscarpiastri holding them tears at bay right now

-> pierregasly can confirm

-> alex_albon please unblock him

-> georgerussell63 he's genuinely sobbing right now

-> mclaren we can hear the cries

-> yourusername LANDO GIVE EVERYONE THEIR PHONE BACK ISTG

-> scuderiaferrari UNBLOCK ME FIRST

-> username oh this man's DEDICATED

username genuinely in ruins rn

username oh to go on a date with her ❤️

francisca.cgomes love 💌

*liked by yourusername*

username im so.

username ???? DATE ????

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, georgerussell63 and 798,528 others

landonorris she's kinda okay

9,728 comments

username WAR IS OVER

username OH MY GOD

username "kinda okay" don't like u weren't in SHAMBLES bc of her

username world is spinning again god bless

username never have i ever felt a sense of relief this immense

username SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

username genuinely speechless rn

charles_leclerc "kinda okay" you cried when she blocked you

-> landonorris OH MY GOD STOP

-> username LMFAOAOAOAO

-> username PLEASE OMG

username im here for every second of this

username YESSSHSHSHSHS

username i just fell to my knees at home depot

username OH MY GOD????????

lewishamilton stop being weepy now x

-> landonorris tell her to stop being mean to me x

-> lewishamilton she said nothing wrong x

-> landonorris SHE CALLED ME A MCDONALD'S CLOWN

-> landonorris x

username THE WAY IM GRINNING RN

username drought is over ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username they got back for ME

lilymhe you break her heart, i'll nail gun yours. got it?

-> landonorris yes ma'am.

-> username lily u will always be famous ❤️

username THEM.

username the biggest sigh of relief js left me

username NAHHH THIS MFS ARE EVIL LIKEE I ALMOST BROKE DOWN BC OF THEM AND THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE JS SEEING EACH OTHER

-> username bitches (affectionate)

username missed my parents ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭

username LET'S FUCKING GO

username watch lando get a podium at the next race

-> username oh my man's gonna be motivated

alexandrasaintmleux don't make me pull out the 25272828 messages from u saying how much u love me and those ESSAYS u sent me - y/n

-> landonorris first, DON'T do that

-> landonorris second, why are you using alex no. 2's phone?

-> alexandrasaintmleux first, DON'T tell me what to do

-> alexandrasaintmleux second, i'm blocked???

-> alexandrasaintmleux please don't call me alex no. 2 - alex

-> landonorris first, noted

-> landonorris second, i unblocked you???

-> landonorris sorry alexA force of habit

-> alexandrasaintmleux oh

-> username nah they forced my girl alex to sign off as "alex" on her OWN acc 😭😭😭😭

-> username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS CONVO

-> username the two things i've inferred from above are 1) y/n is not blocked on lando's acc she js chooses to comment from other ppl's phone and refuses to elaborate and 2) lando calls alexandra alex no. 2

-> username this is a WILD place to be

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by kellypiquet, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 799,152 others

yourusername yeah i'll be loving u for quite some time or whatever taylor swift said (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, danielricciardo and 825,826 others

landonorris happier than ever

11,638 comments

username LANDO NORRIS U ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE

username nah not him using the same caption that he used to shade her

-> username it's almost poetic in a way

username I JUST SCREECHED WHAT THE FUCK

username WAR IS OVER 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username the way i collapsed omg

username THE CAPTION HELP??????

username this is life altering

charles_leclerc not a funny caption

-> landonorris have a sense of humour

-> charles_leclerc i have you as a friend and you're a joke so, i do, in fact, have a sense of humour

-> landonorris you're getting reported for that

-> username LMFAOAOAOAO

-> username PLEASE OMG

username im sooooo here for this

username brb checking if my toaster is waterproof or not

-> username i'll join u!!

username SCREECHING OH MY GOD

username i feel like i've js managed to make two toddlers quit fighting and feel like such a proud parent

-> danielricciardo that's exactly how we feel

-> heidiberger_ so true

-> maxverstappen1 absolutely

-> kellypiquet they were worse than actual kids

-> sebastianvettel they're stubborn

-> scuderiaferrari the amount of times we've had to stop y/n from smashing his car is insane

-> mclaren we had to stay indoors with locked doors scuderiaferrari

-> susie_wolff it was horrible

-> landonorris every single one of you is horrible

-> carmenmmundt fuck u all i hope u step on a lego - y/n

-> landonorris FOR THE LAST TIME YOU'RE NOT BLOCKED yourusername

-> carmenmmundt idc

username life has meaning again

username omg

username THE WEEKND LYRICS OH MY GOD

-> username im folded

username SCREAMING IM SOOOO HAPPY

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username they're actually so taylor swift coded it's INSANE

username brb gonna cry some more

username i used to PRAY for this

danielricciardo could've chosen a different caption - y/n

-> landonorris IT'S THE THOUGH THAT COUNTS

-> danielricciardo terrible thought

-> landonorris i take it back

-> danielricciardo ❤️

danielricciardo this is sweet

-> landonorris thank you

danielricciardo I LOVE YOU

-> landonorris I LOVE YOU MOREEE

danielricciardo bf

-> landonorris gf

-> username what in the world am i witnessing

-> username shh js look away

-> username what in the dando i just witnessed

-> username NOT DANDO OH MY GOD

username sleepover on highway !!!!!!!!!!!!!

username im sooooOOOOooo normal about this (!!!!!!!!!!!)

username ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo nice jacket in the last slide

-> landonorris yeah it'll look even better on your floor

-> danielricciardo mate what the actual fuck

-> landonorris NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

-> landonorris WHERE'S Y/N

-> danielricciardo SHE GAVE ME MY PHONE BACK

-> landonorris OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY

-> heidiberger_ wow

-> yourusername i guess it's js us now heidiberger_

-> heidiberger_ ❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris NOW YOU CHOOSE TO BE ON YOUR OWN ACCOUNT yourusername???

-> yourusername yes ❤️

-> username this is CRAZY

-> username i genuinely have a whiplash

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris imagines #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris insta au #lando norris fluff #lando norris au #lando norris blurb #lando norris

2K notes · View notes

bowandcurtsey · 9 months

Text

Hi sweetheart thank you for requesting this! <3 I'm sorry it took so long but Merry Christmas!!

Also I love this request, it's kinda new for me although yes I do get turned on by voices and dirty talks („ಡωಡ„)

brb cause i'm feeling the heat writing this piece. Characters: Yami, Zora, Magna x f! reader tw: nsfw, dirty talking, maybe degrading, minors dni, unchecked works

Yami Sukehiro

This man is the king of dirty talking. Yea, all that man does is talk shit in his fucking sexy low gruffy voice.

But he knows he's good at it. He knows his effect one you. And boy is he going to use it to his advantage in bed all the time, he won't stop from the start till the end.

One moment he's taunting you, "oh, can't get enough of me, princess?" "you're clenching onto me so tightly" "I just got in and you're cumming? again?"

The next moment he's all praises like he's so drunk on you, "fuck, what a pretty angel." "good girl taking me so well now,"

But whatever he says he can feel your hungry and weeping cunt swallowing whatever he's thrusting into you. He loves it and absolutely gets on from it.

When Yami's mad at you, boy oh boy you gotta get ready for a little degrading, girl.

"does ____ know you get all wet like this for me? You pussy is leaking just from me touching you like this?"

"So you wanna show everyone how slutty you can be, princess? Better be able to take it."

The fact that he could make you a hot wet mess, and the fact that you want to hear him praise, tease or scold you, and how you cum oh so hard from all of this, he's fucking intoxicated with just the idea of it. And let's face it, he's a hot mess for you too. ;)

Zora Ideale

Can't say anything nice and sometimes it ticks you off but he's just so fucking good at it you can't help but just be a good girl for him.

"Cumming already? my girl so needy huh?"

Slows down just as you're reaching your high and just shrugs, "hmm? the nights still early babe."

Keeps you waiting because he loves it when you get annoyed but then your desires get over you and you whine just for him.

"wanna cum?" "you know i love it when you bite that lower lip,"

"tell me, what you want, in your big girl words,"

and then he finally lets you cum, and you jolt from the wave of euphoria, he loves watching you roll your eyes and curse at him.

"i got you baby, I got you,"

And that won't be the end.

Loves edging you on because he absolutely knows his power over you. His mission is to make you cum multiple times until you squirt.

"one more baby, one more for me, wanna see you squirt all over me," he would lick the shell of your ear while pounding into you.

he's just so annoying but yet your body just reacts to him and you just reach your high again and again.

Magna Swing

Doesn't look like it but he likes to whisper dirty things in your ear at random times of the day.

But oh his moans and groans are so fucking sexy. You make him feel so good and he doesn't hide the way you intoxicate him.

"fuck baby, you're so tight fr me..." his words would slur and his tone goes one tone lower.

he whimpers a little when you go down on him, "hngg.. my good girl.."

he loves being in a position that he can be close to your ears and he says all the filth because he knows how much you like it.

he would be behind you, thrusting into you, "moan louder baby, i love it when you moan for me."

"yea? that feels good huh? you want more?"

"go on, cum on my dick, milk me baby."

and whenever you cum, he goes into a frenzy.

"hnngg, so good huh? mhmm, so tight, so fucking tight, my good girl..." he would go into a low growl.

he has great stamina as well, and would keep asking you to go for rounds.

"you say you can't, but you're already clenching on me again, love." he would press kisses to your shoulders and neck.

"one more? you can do it baby, my good angel. one more."

of course you would, with the way his voice melts you, how can you not?

928 notes · View notes

fanficriter · 1 year

Text

Dating the BNHA Boys!

Warnings - None

Characters - Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki, Tamaki Amajiki

Notes - Isn’t my best work but oh well :3

Gender Neutral Reader

——————————————————————————

Izuku Midoriya

- Silly lil guy

- Took him a LOT of courage to confess to you

- Just kinda stood there dumbfounded when you reciprocated his feelings

- Poor boy is lowkey insecure

- He’s silently insecure about his scars :(

- If you kissed his scars i think he’d go insane

- Will probably cry

- He has little notes about how pretty you are in his quirk journal thingy

- Will go in rants about how amazing you are to his friends

- “Y/N is just so perfect and i love them and i don’t know what id do with out them they’re always there for me and-“

- If you have long hair, he always keeps a pack of hair ties incase you need them 😭

- When you tell him about something you like, he will write it down so he remembers

- Was soooo nervous when he first held your hand

- He was SWEATING

- Always blushes without fail

- His hand are rough, but also rlly soft? (i need to make hand hcs holy shit)

- Doesn’t really like sparring with you bc he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he will if you rlly want to

- He will train together tho!

- He loves giving you tips, and watching you use your quirk

- Likes setting up little picnics with you bc he’s quite literally the perfect man ever

- He is a CUDDLIER

- Absolutely loves cuddling with you

- Loves it when you face him and dig your face into his neck

- Definitely talks in his sleep

- He loves taking you on dates to a bunch of different restaurants and such

- Gets so nervous when kissing you

- He loves it but he gets flustered way to easy

Katsuki Bakugou

- Malewife fr

- Will cook for you, though he acts like it’s a chore, he loves your reaction to all his different meals

- Deaf bakugou hc is my favourite thing ever i’m sorry

- He can still hear, (kind of) but he needs to wear a hearing aid

- He knows sign language, but really only uses it around his mom bc he’s embarrassed😭

- If you know sign language, you’ll win his heart IMMEDIATELY

- You were definitely the one to confess first

- Actually rejected you at first (he still liked you at the time)

- But after a few weeks, he confessed to you

- “I actually feel the same way or whatever… just didn’t wanna feed your ego to much…”

- Knows how to style hair weirdly well

- Will always make excuses to do your hair

- “Oi, c’mere, your hair looks like shit.”

- He’ll never admit it, but he LOVES head scratches

- Will lay on your thighs without warning, expecting you to scratch his scalp

- Sparring together is a MUST

- Don’t expect him to go easy on you

- Isn’t to big on PDA, but he’ll kiss you in private all you want

- The first few times you guys held hands, he was kinda scared that he would accidentally explode you 💀

- Doesn’t really take you out for dates a lot, it’s usually just movies and popcorn in bed

- But on the rare occasion when he DOES take you on a date, it is at the fanciest restaurants known to mankind

- Or hiking, he likes hiking

- It took a while for him to be comfortable with cuddling, but he loves spooning you, or holding you as you bury your face into his chest

Shoto Todoroki

- Confessed to you pretty soon after he realised his feelings

- Straight to the point

- “I’ve recently developed feelings for you.”

- Has a small smile when you said you liked him back

- He stares at you a lot

- Loves admiring you

- Also gives the weirdest compliments?

- “You have a nice facial structure, it suits you”

- “Thank you??”

- Will pick flowers occasionally and give them to you

- Literally buys you everything

- With his Dads credit card (You have no idea)

- You see a pair of shoes you like? BOOM. They are yours in 0.5 seconds

- He just buys everything bro CALM DOWN

- Loves taking you on fancy dinner dates

- You have to meet his siblings btw

- Mainly bc his sister WOULD NOT SHUT UP AB MEETING YOU

- She loves you

- So much

- It’s actually a bit concerning

- Doesn’t necessarily not like PDA, he just doesn’t feel the need to initiate it

- He can be a bit oblivious, so if you want PDA, just tell him!

- He has no problem with it

- Not really a cuddly person, but he will cuddle you if you want!

- Your relationship is definitely based on a lot of communication 😭

- As time passes, he will start to do those things without you having to ask, he just needed to get used to it

Tamaki Amajiki

- oh my god okay

- He confessed first but it took him SOOOO long

- Needed so much encouragement from his friends

- Then he just blurted it out while he was at your house one time

- “I- I love you!!”

- Almost died when you said it back

- Actually saw god when you tried holding his hand the first time

- CANNOT do PDA i think he would die

- Definitely an act of service man, he is too shy to do anything else

- Can’t reach somthing ? he’s on it. Your bathroom need cleaning? Consider it done!

- Also likes making you random little gifts

- Kiss him on the cheek i dare you

- He will EXPLODE

- Your always helping him calm down in public

- “Y/N i wanna go home”

- Further into the relationship he will slowly get used to physical affection

- I don’t think he will ever not get flustered tho

- He loves taking you out too eat

- Really likes picnic dates

- I feel like he meditates often to try and clear his head (there is a lot going on in there 😭)

- Will always invite you to meditate with him

- He actually really likes cuddling with you

- He almost dies every time but

- Loves when you spoon him

- Also loves laying on your chest (or the other way around)

- Absolute chef in the kitchen

- Always cooking u meals

——————————————————————————

This took my life 3 weeks to write i kept putting it off so it’s not as detailed as i’d like it to be but oh well

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mayariviolet · 1 month

Text

𝐏𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐞𝐚 / 𝐈’𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧.

Episode Two of First Love / Late Spring.

summary: “You believe me like a god; I'll destroy you like I am.” // “Please don’t look at me. I can see it in your eyes; he keeps looking at me. Tell me, what have you done?” //

Some letters that were addressed to you dated before and after Suguru defected, still in their sealed envelopes.

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cw: f!reader x Geto, mentions of murder, blood, mental instability, swearing, suggestive themes, angst, Geto being over protective.

a/n: Hi… sorry it took me so long to update this my cousin died in March and I haven’t been the same since… Thank you all for being so patient! Also, so sorry if I forgot to tag someone on this update. My mind has been all over the place. Gonna also link the songs the titles are based on so y’all can see the vision fr. Also on Ao3.

wc: 5.9k

🏷️: @jeanboyjean @tacobellfreshavocado @r0ckst4rjk

August 2007

One week before he defected.

Dear Friend,

Do you ever think about that saying, "people are captains of their own fate?" I do. Then again, what about those who think they're "captains of their fate." Or even worse- a fully prepared fool who still gets it wrong. Where do these people end up? Were they predestined to fail?

Anyhow, I think I'm about to make a big mistake.

Well, I've been thinking about this decision for a while. In general, I've been thinking a lot. You've probably noticed my absent stares and maybe you said something in regards to how I look. But I'm having trouble remembering. If you didn't notice, I don't blame you. Even though I want you to notice. You've been going gone through a lot. But then again, so have I.

Yuki and I had a conversation that stuck with me. If you're wondering, it's not about what my kind of woman is. I'm still embarrassed that you overheard that. Even more so, I didn't give a direct answer. However, I don't think my coy, halfway glances at you gave away too much…

When you pulled Haibara away for something I can't remember now (I think you were asking me to come take a look at your door), Yuki plopped down next to me. She was spread out obnoxiously, and my eyes were too heavy to see her expression.

Thus, I was resigned to her rants and entertained some of her ideas. Somewhere in that conversation it brought to light some questions that had been rattling around my brain after what happened with Rika. I'm trying to push away those uncertainties.

I should clear the air right now- you did what you could. What happened or did not happen is not your fault. I will tell you that a million times- however many you need.

If anything, it's my fault for not being there for you. I will always be there for you. It might be in a way that doesn't make sense, but I am there nonetheless.

Sorry about making excuses and skipping our movie nights. Sleeping has been difficult. Maybe it's because you're not here. I don't want you to worry about me- but I also do at the same time. It's an odd feeling, wanting something or someone, having multiple opportunities to do something about it, and letting time slip you by either way.

As I'm writing this, I remember a conversation with your mom about how "right now time is your friend. But later, time will be your enemy."

Maybe tomorrow we can have a conversation about how I'm feeling. I always feel at ease talking to you.

I hope that feeling is mutual.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

Four days before he defected.

Dear Friend,

Uhm, unfortunately, our conversation did not… go well. That's putting it lightly. When I told you about my plan, the expression plastered on your face was something I would carry with me forever. It was agonizing to see you look at me with such disgust.

My chest was tightening, and I could feel you pulling at my hair sharply as you braided it before letting go. Watching you stomp out of my bedroom door through the reflection of my rickety vanity mirror, I have never felt worse in my life, but at the same time, so firm in the choice I'm making—a paradox in real time.

I didn't say it in my last letter, but I'm leaving Jujutsu Society and this bullshit mission made by people who probably need help wiping their ass.

Sorry, that last part was a little profane, but I know you agree with it. I mean, what good is there in protecting people who don't even appreciate what you do? I spent a lot of time reflecting on what happened in the last year and a half, outweighing the pros and cons. The pros obviously involved you, but the cons also involved you.

There's also the fact that I spend a lot of time sitting in my dark room- until the sun is barrelling over the horizon and seeping into my blinds. I wish you had been there during those moments. I'll think about our childhood, your birthday party, how we began writing letters, the day we got recruited to become Jujutsu sorcerers and the overwhelming optimism you had.

We had an opportunity to escape that hell hole town, and we took it without even thinking that staying there might have been less painful than leaving. Sure, we had a couple of surface-level friends, but at the end of the day, we had each other.

God, I wish that was enough.

I think about how happy people must be living in their ignorance, and I get angry again. So, I write. Primarily to you, even though I never express my frustrations. I'm infuriated that no matter what we do, how much we I excorsise curses (that, if born from my own emotions, would definitely be a Special Grade in its own right), it's not enough for those gas bags.

Yes, I might be considered one of the 'strongest,' but I don't want to be, at least, for people who don't deserve it. It's annoying, though, how you've maintained your optimism all of these years.

I shouldn't say annoying.

It's endearing how you want to nurture the world I want to burn to the ground. Well, 'burning to the ground' is a little extreme. I should say I want to make the world a better place for you and me, not those monkeys.

Emphasis on only for you and me.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

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September 2007

The day he defected.

Dear Friend,

Well, what's done is done. I'm leaving today. I'd like to say that I'm going without any regrets, but I have one stupid thing sticking around my head. Yaga asked if there was anyone who might be interested in accompanying me on this mission I've been assigned. He kept glancing over my shoulder.

I didn't need to turn around to see who he was talking about. You and Satoru were doing some training or something of the sort. My fist tightened when Satoru told you a stupid joke, and you laughed.

I mean, he's not that funny…

I wasn't mad that you were laughing at his joke, obviously. I was furious because, for the first time since we were kids, I felt disconnected from my body. To be honest, I've been feeling like this for a while. Like I was floating above it all, and what I saw was a future without us, me, you.

You should know by now what I told Yaga.

I'll leave my door open with a note in the hopes you can understand. Or even better yet, come find me after this mission is done.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

Two and a half weeks after he defected.

Dear Friend,

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been preoccupied with this mission and tying up some loose ends. I'll explain later, please don't mind the blood on this letter. I didn't write for a while since I half expected to see you with flushed cheeks chasing after me.

I should've known better than to wait for you.

Alas, laying low due to tying up said loose ends is proving to be quite time-consuming. So here's a recap of what I've gotten up to:

Finished the mission (easy work)

Adopted twin girls (not easy work)

Visited our hometown

Saw my parents (not easy work)

Visited your parents (kind of easy work?)

I checked in on that grandma we used to help (unfortunately, she's sick, so my visit was brief).

I explained to my parents the predicament I've found myself in (See the part where I said 'not easy work').

Argued with my parents and then yours.

Settled into my childhood bedroom from complete exhaustion of arguing with those monkeys.

Set a plan to finish up with my loose ends…

I hope you're well. The rain is washing away any residual blood (not mine) on my things. I'll have to stop by a pharmacy to get some hydrogen peroxide to lift any stains the rain might miss.

Drink some tea, and get some sleep. If you're missing me like I am missing you, just sleep with that sweater I gave you. Although it's not me, I hope it will be enough in the meantime. In a roundabout way, it's like I'm still there holding you while you sleep, right? At least, that's how I like to think about it.

Don't worry. I'm not mad that you kept it; I always thought it looked better on you than it did on me.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru

(P.S.) My letters will be spread more from here on out. I don't want to accidentally leave anything that might make it easier for someone to find my whereabouts. That doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you. I'm always thinking about you.

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October 2007

One month after he defected.

Dear Friend,

It feels like every time I write to you, I apologize for not saying enough. Which is funny, because that's how we I started writing letters to each other in the first place. Well, kinda. From now on, I'll keep my apologies to a minimum.

It's hard to keep track of the days that are passing, but I know that by now, Satoru has told you what I've done. It's completely necessary, by the way.

Killing my parents. Killing yours. Killing that grandmother. She was sick anyway.

I would like to think I put her out of her misery. I killed whatever remained of that god-forsaken, hell-hole town. I'll spare the details of what happened when I exterminated our my old life.

Just know that I had no remorse for killing your father and only a little for your mother. They died knowing you were okay and, unfortunately, with a smile on their face. I was surprised that they didn't immediately turn into curses. I guess you've been talking to them. Or were talking to them.

When I left that town bloodied and empty, I felt like a bird finally escaping a circus master's cage. Doing all of this will make it easier to forget. It was the closing chapter of a book I had no pleasure in reading. Please don't thank me for what I've done.

Right now, Mimiko and Nanako (the twin girls I saved during that mission) are having a hard time sleeping. I'm watching their furrowed brows and how their mouths twitch in their sleep. I guess even in their dreams, they can't rest. Sounds like someone I know knew.

In about five minutes, one of them will wake up and then another. I'll need to tend to their troubled minds soon enough. Before that happens, I will say sorry one last time. Sorry.

Knowing you, you're probably waiting up for me, probably in your room, probably waiting with Satoru, whose sweaty palms and jittery disposition betray his cool facade.

Maybe Satoru will take my absence as an opportunity to teach you about Digimon. It will be nice for you to take up another hobby. Or get into gardening again. I remember how much you wanted to start.

Eat well, get some sleep (or try to), and be kind to yourself. At least enough for both of us. Hell knows I haven't done that in a while.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

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November 2007

Two months since he defected.

Dear Friend,

There was something in my last letter that I forgot to mention. It was one of the things that I told Satoru. I said that I hated righteous people- which is true to some capacity.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

Two and a half months after he defected.

Dear Friend,

We're getting rain again. I realized that I might be repeating the same mistakes as your monkey parents by being too proud to lease a decent place. But things are getting harder to maneuver through what little connections to jujutsu society I have without tipping off any higher-ups. Mei Mei offered me some jobs that she said 'wasn't worth her time for the money.'

I guess I'm worthless.

But money is money, and I have two daughters now. Is it possible for curses to smell even worse when the holidays come around? I suppose so- with all the lonely people without any family to celebrate with. You can't help but think that they may have isolated themselves. I don't blame them.

Long story short, I've scraped up enough money to lease a place away from the higher-ups. Should I start looking for furniture made by sorcerers? Or should I swallow my pride and just buy some mid-tier premade stuff? Second hand? But then again- there's the issue of residual curse energy. But I could always take care of that.

I'm feeling exhausted again.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

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February 3rd 2008

Six months after he defected.

Dear Friend,

Maybe it's the nostalgia, maybe it's the first birthday I'm celebrating without you, but I keep reliving that weekend prior to it all. That house in Okinawa. The moon was hanging in the sky while the stars pricked the darkness, shining brightly. Sounds of waves crashing against the rocky shore, pulling whatever footprints or human error into the black abyss.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky. You insisted that Satoru get some sleep and that we take turns keeping watch. He shook his head and stupidly emphasized that he was fine. Satoru's heavily lidded expression did very little to disguise his fatigue- both of us could tell.

I was watching you, and you were watching him. I felt sick.

Satoru suggested that you get some rest first since you planned the whole trip for Rika, and you scowled before trudging over to the couch, insisting that you weren't tired. I wanted to grab your face and kiss that annoyance away, over and over again- maybe a little more. When you inevitably passed out, I glanced over to Satoru, who looked more alert now that you were asleep. It was like the task of keeping Rika alive had the same level of importance as dog sitting.

I wondered if you ever noticed. Or noticed that I've shared that same expression since we were kids.

I guess there's no use in ruminating. Today, I ran some errands, nothing major. I had a cake that Mimiko and Nanako decorated; they started calling me 'Papa Geto.' It's sweet.

I forgot to mention that while I was rearranging some furniture, a journal that I have kept since we were kids got knocked down from a bookshelf and pathetically fell on the ground. Mimiko and Nanako bolted like a feral tanuki.

I was mildly horrified at what they might have seen (before remembering that they aren't super great at reading yet, and then I relaxed slightly).

What happened next was probably worse than some scribbled preteen angst. They found the picture of us on your birthday, where I had your birthday cake all over my face. That was the first of many years when my parents bought you a birthday cake.

My girls laughed at me (why is it that when a child laughs at you, it's exponentially more mortifying than if an adult was?) but were incredibly kind to you.

After scolding them for not respecting other people's belongings (ironic given the subject matter of the photo), they apologized and asked who the 'pretty girl' in the picture was.

Embarrassment was replaced with excitement as I got to talk about you.

Anyhow, the money I've made from expelling curses prior to defecting is depleting rather quickly, so I need to come up with some plan.

Sincerely,

Suguru.

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April 2008

Eight months since he defected.

Dear,

Dear Friend,

Spring is here, and I have taken over the former Star Plasma Vessel Church, or cult, or whatever those idiots called it. In addition to having some stable footing, there's a roof over my head that I don't have to thank some monkey landlord for giving me it. It's very cozy, to say the least. Which I think was the realtors code for 'small and borderline inhabitable.'

It'll be some time before I'm able to build a decent following, but those who decided to stay will do so for now. Mimiko and Nanako are being homeschooled for the time being- until I find a school that is okay with my standards.

I was grocery shopping the other day, and I found some green tea that you might like. Before I could even think, it was in my basket next to some sugary cereal for my girls. I was mentally shooting myself in the foot because I'm on a budget (at least for a while).

I don't even like green tea, for goodness sake. But that night, I found myself fixing two cups, one with a dollop of sweetened condensed milk and a spoonful of honey, stirred counter-clockwise. The other one was disgustingly plain, and I steeped the leaves a little too long.

I drank the plain tea, stewing in my impulsivity. The other cup was a milky brown; it was unappealing and painfully sweet, yet I found a warmth spilling over me. I must have been half asleep, but somewhere in my delirium, I thought I heard you scold me for taking a sip of your drink.

My eyes shot open immediately, and I frantically looked around the kitchen. Had some monkey snuck up on me? I shudder at the thought. But that wasn't the case. Just my mind playing tricks on me. I should get more sleep.

I hope you've been getting some, too- you need to get stronger. Anyway, I finished the rest of my tea and grabbed the other cup, which was ice cold. I poured the drink and watched it trickle down the steel sink- before crawling into bed.

I don't know why I thought that was worth mentioning.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

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June 2008

Ten months since he defected.

Dear Friend,

Do you ever think about how dreams can be worse than reality? Writing that down seems silly because you know more than anyone, and considering I've held you until we fell asleep, I should know the answer. In truth, whenever I held you, I thought it would be a good opportunity to say things to you that I couldn't do while you were awake, as if these letters weren't enough!

I used to say really embarrassing things and a sadistic part of me wished you would wake up and ask me if I really meant what I said- but I digress.

It's hard to distinguish alcohol-laced dreams (brought upon by terrible dates the girls have insisted I go on) from memories. All that to say, I had a vivid dream (?) of how I think my first kiss went.

Autumn had brought about a cool night and an impulsive decision to sneak into an amusement park. We drunkenly went on this massive Ferris wheel, and you pulled out a cigarette and offered me a drag. I said no, and for some reason, we got into an argument and then sat in silence.

At some point, I thought to myself, "When will this ride stop?" then, by some miracle, it did! We sat in silence, and then I started smoking a cigarette too. Maybe because it felt cold in my dream, but the warm glow of nicotine and your body kept me warm. Then I kissed you.

Writing about this now… it's too clear to just be a dream. I hope it wasn't a dream. My youth seems so distant compared to where I am now.

The humidity is so oppressive. I feel like I'm soaking in my own sweat. It seems a little facetious to say that now. I keep recalling pockets of my adolescence. It's kind of like a gum packet you thought was empty, but when you go to dispose of it- there are actually three pieces left.

There's poetry in that somewhere, not to mansplain. Obviously.

Excuse my tangents; I'm still trying to recruit new curse users, not to mention pacifying the congregation at my Church, and my mind is so disorganized.

What's new, though?

Sincerely and with love always,

Suguru.

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September 2008

One year since he defected.

Dear, Friend,

Dear Friend,

I went on a walk the other day. The sun was just rising above the horizon, nothing was open, and everything was quiet except for the few stragglers who had missed the last train. Some of them reeked of curses and desperation; it's enough to make a person grow a second stomach and throw it back up.

I did collect some in passing (in case I need it later), but I found no joy in helping others who can't even help themselves. This is what we sorcerers were made for, right? Cleaning up shit that's not even ours? I'm getting sidetracked again.

If you're wondering about my influence over the former Star Plasma Church- it's going okay. Slowly but surely, I'll get a more extensive following. I cannot remember if I told you this, but I have decided to promote myself as a monk. I am relying on word of mouth and exorcising curses or "performing miracles," to gain some trust.

Anyhow, if I'm going to exorcise these curses, I'll make sure to get a steady income. I am a father, after all. Hopefully, there's something else to gain from that. But I can only do this for so long. Please remind me to think of a more permanent solution.

The sun is rising again.

Sincerely and with love always,

Suguru.

(P.S.) I know you can't ever remind me of anything, really, but like always I feel a little more at ease writing this down.

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December 2008

One year after, he defected.

Dear Friend,

Merry Christmas. Or, happy holidays. I've been keeping busy, and I hope you have been, too. Technically, this is my second Christmas / Holiday without you. It's still as weird as the first.

Actually, I don't know if it will ever get comfortable.

People say that the holidays are the worst for people like me. Exacerbated loneliness and the weather all contribute to an increase in curses. It's great money, but how useful is that?

I mean, you could have all the money in the world and still be miserable. Recently, I've started to gain traction from this stout millionaire who always seems to have a gang of curses around at all times.

We met by an unfortunate yet beneficial accident. Apparently, he's one of the few dimwits who can see curses. He's been aimlessly wandering about, trying to find someone to help, but no one believed him.

I was taking the girls to an optometrist appointment, and while I was finishing some paperwork, I overheard this screeching. Curiosity took over me, so I snuck a glance into the room behind the secretary's desk.

There was a massive commotion with several doctors trying to reassure that man I was talking about before. It turns out that he could see curses, and when no one was looking, I exorcised them for him. It was second nature to help someone so pathetic. He kept on calling me a miracle worker- insane! I guess I've been like that since I was little… However, he kept thanking me, and an idea popped into my head:

If I can get a steady number of people to pay for my miracles, I could make an obscene amount of money and have better insurance for separation from the higher-ups.

This man seems to come from money or considerable influence. Maybe he can be my test case. It's getting late now, so I should get some rest. I have to dress up as Santa for Mimiko and Nanako.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy Birthday to Satoru.

Sincerely,

Suguru.

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March 2009

Two years since he defected.

Dear Friend,

Recently, I went on a hike. It was okay and long. The ground was wet, and when I got home, I found mud everywhere. I'll tell you about the trail. It was beautiful. A murmuring stream, the wind dancing through the budding trees and a dusty rose sky. You would have loved the flowers. Whenever I see anything flourishing after a tough season, I think about you.

Despite being filled with tourists, non-sorcerers, and whatever, I was able to enjoy the sunset. Mimiko and Nanako had extra tutoring lessons, so I took advantage of the little free time I had. However, after being constantly bombarded with questions about anything and seemingly endless children's movies, the quiet that followed disturbed me.

Once I reached the end of the trail, I found myself eager to see my girls. But the hike was long, and I thought it would be a waste if I didn't stay for a minute or two. I thought it would be nice to take some pictures, so I did that before locating a place to sit. I found a wooden bench tucked underneath this wisteria tree (how it grew there is a mystery). My mind wandered aimlessly; funnily enough, I just now remembered we had that assignment due before I left.

I apologize for not doing my part. Do you think we could still submit it? Haha.

Anyways, while sitting on a bench, I overheard two people talking. It was a boring conversation, definitely not worth eavesdropping on (you'd probably say otherwise), but for whatever reason, I decided to tune into the tail end of their conversation.

One of them had been blurting out facts in order to keep a dead conversation going. Some of it was interesting, but most of them were things that they probably saw on a popsicle stick. Their friend nodded along, listening intently. This went on for a while until the one who kept spewing facts (let's call them popsicles) said something along the lines of:

"Have you ever thought about how we're a mosaic of every person we've ever met, talked to, or loved?"

Even though I don't know them (nor do I care to), that was probably the most intellectual thing they've ever said in their lives. I thought to myself and laughed.

But then I felt a sort of heaviness in my chest. The more I observed them from my peripheral, the more I could see bits and pieces of the habits they shared. How they playfully hit one another after cracking a joke, covering their mouth after saying something slightly offensive. It made me nostalgic.

On my way back down the trail, I thought about you. It was nearly dark now. I thought about how if I was a mosaic of everyone I ever loved:

"How many pieces of you make up my whole?"

"Which parts of me do you keep?"

I'm glad I'm never sending these letters; I'm probably better off not knowing these answers.

Sincerely and with love,

Suguru.

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November 2010

Three years since he defected.

Dear Friend,

I've realized that it's not love I felt for you but obsession. It's harsh, cruel and painful to put you through that. For me, you were never home. That much is true. Which isn't to say you weren't something. You are a temple, and I am a sinner. If I were to step into the Holy Land you so graciously keep tidy, I would only desecrate it with my ideals.

Unfortunately, I do not want to bathe in the river to clean myself of these thoughts. So, I will seek refuge elsewhere. You deserve that after everything.

Sincerely,

Suguru

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April 2015

Eight years since he defected.

Dear Friend,

I don't think I'll ever get tired of writing to you. Even though you'll never read these, it's stupid how only now have I realized what your father meant when he said it was easier to write things than to say them out loud. Time really is my enemy now. My previous letters mentioned how well Mimiko and Nanako are doing in school. I just thought I would say that again. I'm so incredibly proud of them.

Maybe by now, you have kids of your own- I know that you'll treat them with kindness rather than the contempt your father displayed. I thought about my parents again and their role in my life, but not for long.

You probably saw them as a safe place; to me, they were just there. A starting point to the inevitable destruction brought about by my existence. Did you know that I thought I could always save them? They trusted me to do so and keep you safe as well. Funny how life throws us around.

Work is exhausting, and during the slower days, I let my mind wander to the possible outcomes had I stayed at Jujutsu Tech. Would I be a teacher? Would I be a good teacher? Are we both teachers? You're a patient person- I know that you would be a good teacher. A faculty favourite. How promising would my students be? What would our daily routine be like? How often do we get to see each other in between classes? Are we still friends?

Are we together?

Are we in love?

From what I've gathered, you've taken a bit of a leave…

I'll save myself the hurt of writing the reason why. We both know, and unfortunately, I understand.

There's a storm barrelling towards the Church. Actually, they've issued a squall warning. The skies are rolling with grey plump clouds. I wish I could tell you what a squall is- it sounds dumb, but apparently, it's dangerous.

Sincerely,

Suguru.

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September 2016

Nine years since he defected.

Dear Friend,

Allies seem to come from the most unlikely places. That man I was talking about before turned out to be a great asset. I've gotten more followers and even an assistant out of it! If you're wondering, yes, it's vital.

One thing I hate more than people who cannot use jujutsu is paperwork. It takes up so much of my time. Luckily, my secretary has been doing most of the heavy lifting now. We've been working long hours together, and to be honest, I don't mind. She's smart and beautiful. Her attitude kind of reminds me of you.

Sorry about the short letters- historically, mine have been longer than yours, but I have been planning something big that needs my attention. Not to mention, Mimiko and Nanako are entering their phase where everything I do seems to make them cringe.

Years ago, I said that children laughing at you was more mortifying than adults. I still believe that to be true; however, both cannot hold a candle to the shame and quickly depleting self-worth a couple of teenagers laughing at you but promptly saying, "Oh, it's nothing" can do.

My family is growing, not in the way yours is. Or so I've heard.

It fills me with so much joy to be surrounded by other like-minded people. People who believe that in order to obtain peace or a brief period of one- non-curse users should cease to be.

My heart is overflowing- but there's still a piece where you always will be.

Sincerely,

Suguru.

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November 2017

Ten years since he defected.

Dear Friend,

Do you ever think about who gets to determine the natural outcome of anything? Is it fate? Is it man? I suppose it's hard to say since answers vary from person to person. I would like to think that it's around sixty percent individual choice and forty percent chance.

I mentioned years ago about a man who could see curses; well, yesterday, I killed him. His use to me finally ran its course. I do thank him for all he's done and the people he's brought to me. My plans are coming to fruition. The Higher Ups have been tracking my movements and expanding my influence. I bet you have already had a debrief on what to expect.

I could see how, on your end, I'm being irrational or unreasonable. But I argue that cleansing the world of non-sorcerers is the only solution. Ending their suffering will put an end to ours.

But God, what I would pay to hear what Yaga is saying! He's probably wearing those stupid sunglasses and cursing. Satoru has asked me to meet with him- probably to ask me, yet again, if I'm really going through with the Night Parade.

My answer remains firm: yes. He's probably going to tell me to stop and think about you.

Like I've said before and like I always tell Satoru, I always think about you. When I meet with Satoru, I'll ask him if he can pass along how I want to see you. The girls are calling me to take them out, so I'll perform my fatherly duties.

I hope you'll say yes. I need to see you at least once.

Sincerely,

Suguru.

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December 2017

Three days before the Night Parade of 100 Demons.

Dear,

I must be some sort of pervert to believe that you would run away with me. I don't think pervert is the right word, but that's how I felt right then and there when you rejected me. In all fairness, I couldn't think appropriately after seeing you.

Then again, you must have some masochistic tendencies to agree to meet with me. Your hair looked beautiful, and the way the cigarette burning a bright cherry red hung on your cracked lips reminded me of that night on the Ferris Wheel, which, in fact, did happen.

I came across some old letters to confirm my hazy memory. When the snowflakes landed on your eyelashes, I just about melted, like when the sleepy snow makes its warm welcome for spring. The moon was casting shadows on your tired but beautiful face. You had a glow that made hearing you curse me out a tad more bearable.

But I'm rambling. You couldn't think about going to Shinjuku, right? I could never stop you, even more so now, but I can't back down. Not even for you- which I think was detrimental for us both ten years ago and now.

Seeing you standing next to Satoru, cursing at me, with his hand placed firmly on your hips with a face full of disdain, I think I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But that's not a proper death. You should be standing next to me!

I watched you walk away in the dark night with a sense of urgency, a new purpose. You will probably fight in your own way, but please let me do this.

I'm not asking you- I am begging you to let me take care of you one last time.

You might not believe me, but everything I have done until now, all the blood I have shed, has been for you. I promise I will spare your children (to be fair, raiding the Gojo estate would be a waste of good sorcerers), but I can't make any promises for anyone else who stands in my way.

It seems contradictory, but I know what I am doing is right.

When I write to you again, it will be something you can read- in the new world, and we will have all the time in the world. No longer beholden to curses, only each other.

Sincerely and with all my love,

Suguru.

a/n: Suguru Geto. The man that you were and the man that you became. I love you either way, my beautiful raven-haired, purple-eyed princess. We’re about half way there! Thank you all for being so patient these last couple of months🤍. Also, apologies for any inconsistencies, I have tried my best to remember the details of this story wah!

══════════════════

#cw blood #cw suggestive #𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒊’𝒔 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒔₊˚⊹🪞.𖥔 ݁ ˖📖#suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk geto #geto suguru

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miaoua3 · 8 days

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Hiiii!! How are you doing?? I hope you are doing great! I just wanted to ask if you can write about Seungkwan husband hcs? and I also wanted to say that I really love your account it is an absolute masterpiece, I always check everyday if you posted anything because I am excited to see what you wrote ❤️❤️✨️

(Sorry if my message isn't understandable English isn't my first language 😅)

hiii! omg FINALLY a request for our boo, i’ve been waiting for this day, of course i can do it, it would be an honour. and thank you so much for saying that, as well as loving my account so much, i love you all more😭❤️

(btw, your english is perfect, have more trust in yourself and your abilities🫶)

anyway, enjoy this!

Husband! Seungkwan Headcanons:

•(sfw! hcs):

proposed in such a romantic and…seungkwan way lmao just imagine-his members of course had to be a part of it, so they have been dragging you around the whole city the entire day, making sure that you look absolutely perfect for the showtime. seungcheol took you to get your nails done, before jeonghan stole you away from him to get your dress ready, and then joshua and jun were the ones to take you to get your makeup done and- you get the idea lol, but then, as you walked with hansol and chan up the stairs of the building that you and kwanie live in all the way up to the roof, you already started crying because you knew what’s coming. and you were right because once the door of the roof were opened, you see the love of your life standing at the end of the long red carpet, right in front of an altar made out of flowers in a shape of a heart. and because it’s boo seungkwan, of course he serenaded you the song you two were listening the night you two kissed for the very first time. the rest is history❤️

has his wedding ring constantly on him, be it in his ring finger or on a necklace around his neck-the ring is one part of an outfit that is not negotiable, he will wear it no matter what

constantly talks about you when he’s a guest on talk shows, he will find any way to make any story be about you, he could be asked about the thought process behind the song he cowrote with woozi and he will just be like “oh well it’s actually inspired by my wife! she’s always my inspiration behind anything i do and write- i remember distinctly, on that day i was just-“ everyone is low-key annoyed by it because…can he go on for two minutes without saying the words “my wife”? lol

so so so very affectionate- he will hug you all the time, doesn’t matter if there’s people around or if one of you is busy, if boo seungkwan wants to hug and kiss his wife, he will do as much, even when you’re washing the dishes or vacuuming or doing skincare- he will just sneak up on you and hug you from behind as he nuzzles his face in the curve of your neck, he fr sometimes remind you of a cat

is very big on jokes in your relationship, he will try to make you laugh as much as possible, that’s why you two have so many ongoing inside jokes, god forbid someone says one word that will remind you both of one of your jokes, you two will start cackling, leaning onto each other as you two try to control yourselves but with no avail (jeonghan is so sick of you two, he had been enduring this ever since you two started dating and seungkwan was still living with him)

his favourite nights are when you two get drunk on sweet sweet wine from italy and start jumping and dancing around the apartment, all while singing (read: screaming) the lyrics of your favourite songs together, naturally using your hairbrushes as your microphones. something about this makes seungkwan feel…like he will live on forever, if not in other people’s minds and he in books of records, then at least in your heart and memory❤️

because this is boo seungkwan we’re talking about of course, expect little harmless and useless fights (more like bickering) to happen at least twice a day, he sometimes does it because he genuinely doesn’t agree with you but sometimes he does it just to see you pout at him lol, from fighting about which sort of tomato tastes the best to who the best marvel character is, expect him to start shit at any topic you try to bring up lol

•(nsfw! hcs):

his words are always so sweet, they taste like honey both on your and his lips, but then his actions would be so dirty, a complete contrast from what he’s saying- he could be asking in that deep voice of his that he always pull on you in the bedroom “who is my good girl?” but in the same second he would be landing such a hard and nasty spank on your ass cheek that has you throwing your head back in pleasure- his words so affectionate and full of praise, but then his actions look as if it were a punishment, he dances on that thin line so well

prefers fucking you either in missionary or when you ride him, he loves seeing your face scrunch in pleasure as his dick is pounding into your heat, your muscles tightening around him-there’s just something in the way your eyebrows furrow and your mouth open on their own while he’s bringing you pleasure, plus it’s only a bonus that this way he gets to kiss you anytime he wants to (or a louder moan threatens to spill out of his mouth)

and his fingers? gosh his beautiful fingers…the only reason why he isn’t eating you as much as he would like to is because you prefer to have his fingers instead, so long and so pretty and perfect, curling inside of you just the right way, his little nails scraping against you sweet spot which brings you to your finish way before you’d like- and when he licks the very same pretty fingers clean and then wraps them around your pretty little neck? gone. gone and done for.

surprise surprise-boo seungkwan is a talker in the bedroom. shocker, i know. half of his honey sweet words won’t even register im your mind due to the pleasure, but he will still talk, going from kissing your neck and nibbling on your ear and talking, just like “fuck, your sweet pussy feels so good around my dick baby, you’re gonna make me so fast. would you like that, hm? does my sweet girl want my cum? want me to fill you to the brim? fuck, if you don’t stop clenching around me like that, i really will do it-“ KNDKABAPA BOO SEUNGKWAN

loves placing your legs on his shoulders and bending forward, it makes your pussy feel that much tighter, which then makes you both feel how good he’s stretching you, the burn making you moan even louder which makes him fuck you even harder and faster

isn’t a boob person per say, but he will leave so many hickeys on your chest, you will lowkey look like a mess lmao, they would be littered all over your soft tits, ranging from purple to blue and yellow in colour- i mean seriously, don’t even think about wearing something a little bit more revealing or people will ask if you got mauled by a bear lol (that night is something jeonghan will NEVER let you live down lol (seungkwan was low-key proud of his artwork though lol))

LOVES it when you grab him by the hair and redirect his mouth where you need him the most, the sting of the pull, the neediness that is displayed through your actions, the way he doesn’t even want to tease you or reject you- it all gets him feeling so hot and bothered, he will literally moan as you pull him by his hair from between your legs to your face so you can kiss him i- i need him SO BADDDD DJKWKXKSJAB

#seventeen #svt #svt x reader #fypシ #tumblr fyp #fypage #boo seungkwan #seungkwan #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan x you #boo seungkwan smut #svt fluff #fluff

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lotusconstellation · 1 year

Note

Well, I had an idea for you to do...

The reader is a streamer who enters the Welcome website and, together with the live people, gets to know this Welcome and Yandere! Wally.

Well, how would Wally react to that? And as time goes by wally falls in love with the reader, how would he see the reader's fans and his job of doing live, playing games, watching videos?

-🐰

{Sorry this took so long! But I ended up getting to caught up in the request and ended up having to make a pt. 2, I do apologize though, I hope you don’t mind. As always, I hope you enjoy! And thank you for the request!}

(Art, Wally and Welcome Home all rightfully belongs to @partycoffin)

“Nostalgia” Pt. 1

Pairing: Yandere Wally Darling x Streamer! GN!Reader

Tw: Yandere behavior, cussing

Summary: You decide to take a trip down memory lane with your Viewers. Unaware of the consequences.

Y/N was a daily streamer under the name of {Streamer name}.

Y/N wasn't very big or popular, maybe with a few frequent watchers here and there that would greet them in real life and ask for a quick picture, but that’s all Y/N could ask for really.

They didn’t need to have a big platform or have a lot of money. They just wanted to stream for fun, just something they could do in their free time when they had nothing else to do.

Y/N didn’t really have a main style of content to put out. Sometimes it’ll be them reacting/watching something a viewer recommends, playing a video game, or even just making a relaxing space for anyone who needs it— playing soft music in the background while answering to any comments.

One day, Y/N was hit with an unexpected wave of nostalgia. They had started remembering fond memories from childhood. From the happy ones to the embarrassing ones— down to the old shows they used to watch as a kid. The sudden wave gave them an idea. Once they would get home from work, Y/N would take their viewers down memory lane and react to old shows and/or movies from the early 2000’s.

“That theme song had no reason being that good, I’m telling you,” Y/N said, taking a sip of their drink while reading the chat.

=======

NeonLeon: No fr

Anxpsyche: The Little Einsteins theme song from season 2 is the best, I know they just added clapping but it made it sm better

WhimsicalWanderbitch: I remember I used to watch Little Einsteins and The Backyardigans all the time when I was kid with my brother

Passionfruit69: Pls play the wonder pets theme song

WhimsicalWanderbitch: me and him always sang along to the songs

Theanklebreaker: I loved wonder pets, omg

JumpInTheMacaque: Does anyone remember Sharkboy and Lavagirl?!

Kirbolissous: OH MY GOD I REMEMBER I USED TO LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF YO GABA GABA THAT SHOW WAS MY SHIT

Escapeben: Do you remember Oswald?

Scouts_Kubs: all I remember watching is little bill and how the teletubbies scared tf out of me

Springday23:SAME!

lychee_jelly_tea:I REMEMBER SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL

=======

As Y/N was talking with the chat, they had let out a gasp. “Aweee, oh my god, I just remembered this really old show I used to watch,” The Streamer cooed, flashbacks flooding their mind of them watching said show for hours on end. Recalling all the soft yet bright and vibrant colors of the show, and all the lovable characters.

Y/N waited a moment for the chat to respond. Seeing most of them asking for the name of the show, while a few others carried on with their own conversations. “It wasn’t an early 2000’s show, it was like…” The streamer’s words trailed off, trying to remember when the show was made. “Ah fuck, when was the show made? It was made in the…70’s..? I wanna say, oh my god, Wait, what was it called? God damn it,” Y/N leaned back on their chair, with their hands over their face, as they tried to remember the name of the show. Meanwhile the chat was listing off shows from the 70’s to try and jog their memory.

========

lychee_jelly_tea: Lupin the third pt. 2?

JumpInTheMacaque: The Addams Family?

Theanklebreaker: Uh…New Fantastic four?

Kirbolissous: Was it The New Adventures of Batman?

NeonLeon: Scooby doo?

======

“Oh my god it was called Welcome Home!,” Y/N shouted, jumping up from their previous position.

“That one show that looks like it was inspired by Sesame Street? Oh my god wait-“ Y/N went to Google and searched up, “Welcome Home Characters” the results popped up right immediately. “These bitches!” The streamer circled their cursor around a big JPG image of all the ‘Welcome Home’ characters.

“I remember that whenever I would have to be babysat by my grandparents, all they had was this old Combo television unit and a bunch of old VHS tapes. So all I had to watch was whatever VHS tapes they had and Welcome Home was one of them,” Y/N explained, unintentionally looking further down the rabbit hole of the show, reminiscing in all its glory. By now, Y/N was grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh my god, this is gonna be embarrassing but I remember Wally, the main character- er the one with the blue hair, low-key used to creep me out,” Y/N laughed, feeling embarrassed how a puppet with a blue pompadour used to creep them out.

“Like, I wasn’t scared of him but the way he laughed and the way he would just stare at people for an uncomfortable amount of time in the show is what creeped me out,” Y/N had elaborated after noticing the chat was clowning them for being scared of a puppet.

====

Anxpsyche: Bro, you were scared of him? He looks gay as shit

lychee_jelly_tea: I ACTUALLY REMEMBER WATCHING THAT SHOW AND HAVING A HUGE CRUSH ON WALLY!

JumpInTheMacaque: @Lychee_jelly_tea had me watch that show when we were younger and I low-key loved it

NeonLeon: You were really scared of a puppet? This puppet out of all of them?

JumpInTheMacaque: They actually have a website for that show now

Theanklebreaker: I would be scared of the chicken that looks like Big bird

Passionfruit69: I’d be scared of the gray one that’s looking at the butterfly

=========

“Okay- Later on I wasn’t scared of him. He grew on me, I’m just saying when I first watched him I thought he was a little off!” Y/N defended, it took awhile for them to notice a specific comment. “Wait, JumpInTheMacaque, you said they have a website?” Y/N leaned forward, scrolling back up to where JumpInTheMacaque made that comment before scrolling back down.

======

JumpInTheMacaque: Yea, but you can’t really do much with it rn, you can only see the neighborhood from a Birds Eye view and see the Info about the characters

====

“I still wanna see it, give me a sec,” The streamer went to The search bar before pausing. “Is it just called ‘Welcome Home website’ Or…”

“Oh! I found it!” Y/N exclaimed, clicking on the website without hesitating The website opened up and a picture faded in with the title in big pastel letters on the left center of the picture and Wally sitting on a painted rock with colorful flowers, trees, and home all right behind him. Wally stared at you with his round eyes and had an opened mouth smile. Y/N oooh’ed in awe, fascinated by the way the site opened up. “Oh my gosh, this is so cool,” Y/N tried to contain their excitement, but the shake in their voice and the huge smile on their face was a dead give away. They apologized when they realized their failed attempt. “Sorry guys, I’m just so excited right now.”

"With a hop, skip, and a jump, you are ushered into the colorful, serendipitous world of Welcome Home! It only takes one stroll down the neighborhood to know this is just the nicest little place you’ve ever seen! Watch Wally and his colorful array of friendly neighbors learn about the vibrant world around them and take part in nonsensical fun!"

“Oh Jesus Christ, alright, let’s get started- There’s a guestbook?!…YOU CAN WRITE IN IT?! Wait- I wanna look at everything else first before I do the guestbook.“

The rest of the stream was filled with Y/N clicking around in the neighborhood and reading the info about the characters, expressing memories and giving info about some moments they remember from certain episodes. Y/N was about to click out of the neighborhood and take a look at the guest book. However, they caught a glimpse of something that seemed…out of place. “What the hell is that?” Y/N questioned, pointing to the small black spot under Home with their cursor. “What the hell is that?” The streamer leaned closer to their screen, squinting their eyes to try to get a better look. Right away, they tried to see if they could move Home out of the way, but it didn’t work. Whenever they clicked on Home it either opened up to Wally’s info or it didn’t move. “What…what do I do? That’s not just me right, you guys can see that?” Y/N was at a loss, what do they do?

====

Kirbolissous: What the hell?

lychee_jelly_tea: I’ve never noticed that before! What is that?!

Anxpsyche: what in the actual hell is that?

NeonLeon: Why is there just a black hole under Wally’s house?

JumpInTheMacaque: Try inspecting it, find Home’s code, delete it, then get out of inspect

=====

“Okay, hold on,” Y/N followed the instructions the best they could, they wouldn’t really skilled in this type of stuff, so they struggled a bit, though they figured it out pretty quickly. “Okay…” They mumbled, now seeing a huge black hole in the place Home was. Y/N was confused and clicked on the hole. The computer suddenly opened up a new browser and it seemed to be taking awhile to load. However, Y/N said nothing, sitting in silence as the air slowly started to grow thick, and their palms started to sweat.

Y/N’s eyes grew wide once the image finally loaded. The whole screen was black other than a red outline of Wally on his knees, reaching up to a window and Home’s eyes staring back at him. Y/N stared at the image for what seemed like hours. They just sat there, inspecting the image in horror, but mainly in bewilderment.

What was this?

Why was Wally on the ground?

What was going on?

Why was this on the website? Was it supposed to be?

Slowly, Y/N clicked off the browser. The computer immediately took them back to the Welcome Home website. Y/N scratched their nose and clicked out of the neighborhood, going to the guestbook. “Okay, I don’t know what that was but let’s-…” The Streamer put in the name they go by online. “Let’s just do the Guestbook then I’m calling it a day,” Y/N tried not to let people see how spooked they were, but again, their now quiet and soft tone, gave it all away.

Y/N wrote in the guestbook.

“Looked around the neighborhood with all my viewers, everything was so bright and colorful! Really loved it!”

With that, Y/N bid their signature goodbye to everyone before stopping the stream and turning everything off, but Y/N didn’t move just yet. Their mind was still stuck on the image of Wally.

Was that supposed to be on the website? Why would it be? Are they just trying to add a twist to the franchise now? But why would they, it was fine the way it was. Yes, it got canceled, but that’s only because it became outdated. Was this a sign for something big?

Gah, Y/N shouldn’t be worrying about this. People are allowed to add things to a franchise as long as it stays true to the characters (to a certain extent) and stays respectful to the creators boundaries, and Wally was a bit of an odd one. Maybe they’re just now going more in depth with his character since now it’s a new time with new interest, and they have to get people’s attention somehow, right?

Whatever the reason, it was getting late, and Y/N had to get up for work tomorrow. With that, they finally got up from their uncomfortable chair they use for every stream and stretched. Satisfied when they heard some joints pop and crack. Y/N let out a yawn, realizing how tired they were before walking off to their bathroom to brush their teeth..

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

…Through the static of the TV, you can hear Wally’s muffled voice boom through the tiny speakers.

"That concludes our time together for today, my dear neighbors. But rest assured, tomorrow is another day, and I'll be watching over you just as diligently. Goodbye, neighbor. Ha ha ha.”

*Click*

The End! I hope you enjoyed and keep on the lookout for pt.2!

That is all for today, I hope you are having a good Day/Night/Afternoon and I will see you all in my next writing, au revoir!! 💜💜💛💛

#welcome home #wally darling #wally darling x y/n #wally darling x reader #fanfic #fandom #x gender neutral reader #gender neutral post #x reader #yandere #yandere wally darling #yandere wally darling x reader

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ccircusclwn · 4 months

Note

are.you.an.angel..

I've been looking for AleNoah as dads my entire life man!!! You're like.. sent from above!!

wait how did they get MK then..

did Noah and Emma have MK then divorce, and then Noah gained custody..or is she just adopted..

I don't know if you mind me doing this but like,

I like to imagine :3.. that Aleheather broke up and Nemma actually got married but divorced so then MK is just like..there. Then boom Noah and Alejandro meet again and they're like "btw did you know in World Tour I loved you" "fr!? Me.me too!" "do you wanna get married" "yea!!!!"

yea. (I may have gotten Raj into the mix..bleh.)

Wow this is incredibly long sorry about that drink water and have a lovely day!!!!!

-⏰

OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY MAY IR MAY HAVE NOT MADE A CHART THAT EXPLAINS THE AU THANKS TO THIS ASK (IN MY EYES) !!

i personally dont like the idea of the women in the respective relationships abandoning the men to let them be gay w each other, esp since so many people that write similar things end up making emma just straight up abandon the family cause of stress. its way too convinient yknow, jst my opinion, and it makes emma look bad (which shes way too awesome) i think she would be very close w the mudaliar-burromuerto family but as a close friend/honorary aunt sorta way.

but your idea of the au is cool! i like it.

this is kinda of like a long answer to your question being like. how did they have mk.....

okay so.

how did they end up together? i inspired myself from a fic that is literally just noah being alejandro's only visitor in the hospital post-WT. they become friendly and, since the burromuerto family sees alejandro as an embarrassment for being too vulnerable and letting himself lose the million dollars in front of many people, leaving him being kicked out, they eventually end up moving together! its kind of a slowburn college romance if im being honest. and once theyre juniors/seniors in college, they end up getting together.

so. hooow do they adopt mk? since its from birth? wouldnt they be super young? EXACTLY

theyre young parents due to alejandro being pressured from his side of the family to at least get a child if he's going to keep being a failure. this hurts ale deeply and he genuinely starts to panic, thinking he should raise a kid as soon as possible. he manages to convince noah that its true baby fever and that they'll be wonderful parents, even though normally "ideal" parents marry and then have children.

they search for a while and eventually come across someone who was thinking of adoption whilst pregnant, and the three of them worked very hard to make it possible. so in 2007, MK is born, and adopted into the mudaliar-burromuerto family. (i do not know SHIT about adoption so i wont make much detail about it)

of course, not being married and having a child was also critizised, so they quickly married around a year or two later. (it took a while to cut the burromuerto family out of his life, but back then ale was very young and very easily manipulated by his family)

so, around 6 years later, they adopt another kid, which was already a year old, but who really didnt have a name. he was dropped off at an orphanage when he was around 6 months old, but he didnt seem to be registrated anywhere. ale n noah, curious, took on the role to foster care this kid and came up w a name for him, which alejandro chose, nicolás. they adopted him soon after

so yeah full story!!! may be susceptible to change!! wahoo!!

#my art #total drama #alenoah gay dads au #td noah #td alejandro #alenoah #td alenoah #td mk #td mk's brother #yeah a bit unwell about this au

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creatingblackcharacters · 4 months

Note

This might seem like a weird thing to get hung up on, but in reference to your post about Wyll's hairstyling, someone made the comment that they imagined Mizora used magic to braid his hair as part of their pact. You replied that this was a racist idea and offered to explain why, but they never commented back. If you're still willing to discuss it, I actually would like the explanation. I'm not disagreeing that it's racist, I just think I'm missing some of the nuances/reasoning.

The only explanation I can think of is the way that Wyll's relationship with Mizora is treated, both in and out of game, just makes the joke really not funny. I hate that Mizora is treated as a quirky, love-to-loathe-her side villain when she's essentially Wyll's abuser. She should be treated with the same gravitas that the writers treat Astarion's relationship to Cazador, or Karlach's relationship to Zariel. Then you've got the fans, who can write loads of rants and analysis of Mystra "grooming" Gale on what I would consider very little basis (adults can have teachers too), but stay pretty mum about Mizora, who started manipulating Wyll when he was 17, isolated him from any support systems he might have had, and literally tortures him with the torments of Hell for disobeying her. I forget which conversation it is, but Wyll even describes her visits to him after he completes a task for her as her "saying all the right words" and "touching him in just the right ways."

Maybe I just haven't seen people talking about it because I'm not looking in the right places, I tend to keep most fandoms at arm's length so I'm not swallowed whole by their nonsense. I'm sorry if this turned into an extra long vent message, but I hope it shows I care about Wyll as a character and the work you're doing in general to improve the portrayal of black characters in fiction and fandom.

I mean, you pretty much said it all. I mentioned in my hair lessons that hair is very important to Black people, and that it's also a matter of consent. You wouldn't want just anybody touching your body, and that includes your hair, yes? So it would be incredibly violating for some white person that is essentially your abuser touching your hair, your body, something that is important to you! How can there be real consent if someone OWNS you? Hair is something that requires trust and intimacy. Especially with the idea that a white person would know better how to do your Black hair?! No thanks.

It's also something that ties into my most recent lesson with stereotypes, plus issues with how men are perceived with abusers. The idea that a boy should be "grateful" that a woman is attracted to/attached to them, even when it's inappropriate. For me, what I see when I see Mizora is a white coded woman allowed to mistreat a young Black boy into his adulthood, and treated as though he brought it on himself, as if he deserves to be mistreated by someone who took advantage of him. I see that people won't take that violation seriously, bc no one cares about the dignity of Black bodies nor do we offer them grace under fire.

Whereas if this were a young white girl, and an older Black coded male demon had done these things to her, all hell would break loose. Fans would immediately understand that that sort of relationship is not appropriate and we should not just assume that "oh well it's just sexy".

I mentioned in the last lesson that this sort of "attraction" has gotten Black boys and men killed at the whims of white women. It's not "funny" to me to think that some white coded woman is allowed to treat Wyll that way and everyone is just... Cool with it. I'd be very nervous to ask your opinions on real Black people.

It's honestly why I felt uncomfortable getting interested in the fandom to begin with, in addition to everything else involved with Wyll and his VA Theo. BG3 doesn't seem like a welcoming place fr, and I too have to keep fandom at an arms length for racism reasons, but as I've done with fandom before this: that's my chance to maybe create something that's missing. 👍🏾

#creatingblackcharacters

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fullsunised · 1 year

Note

hi sorry to bother you. i just wanted to request an nct dream scenario where they like it when their s/o scratches their back for them? In like a fluffy and cute way. thank u!

ɴᴄᴛ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ¹⁷: sᴄʀᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ

➶-͙˚✶ genre: fluff, except for haechan being a menace

➶-͙˚✶ trigger warnings: mentions of moans and groans(nonsexual)

➶-͙˚✶ requests open

➶-͙˚✶ a/n: its not a bother at all PLS DONT SAY THAT. APOLOGIES IT TOOK A WHILE, HAD TO RACK MY BRAIN FOR THIS ANYWAYS, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS, AND HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, APOLOGIES IF IT ISNT :( ALSO, THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST!!

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

he's definetly taken aback when you offer to scratch his back, but doesn't deny it. he is groaning because he loves it so much. it felt so good, especially with how long and sharp your nails were he was melting under it, all the stress evaporating from his body. becomes his favourite pass time, loves having you run your fingers across his back, while he rests his head on your lap.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗨𝗡 𝗛𝗨𝗔𝗡𝗚 ❞

weirded out when you offer, but doesn't deny cause he appreciates your love and support. lays down on his front, his shirt on the floor and your hands scratching against his back. loves it endlessly. moans slightly and then hides his face because he's embarrassed. back scratching will definitely become one of his favourite thing to do when he needs a split minute to relax. would love to try it out on you as well dou. would prefer you do it with your fingertips rather than long nails.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗝𝗘𝗡𝗢 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

just scratch his back bro. doesn't matter if you leave scars or whatsoever because boy adores it so much. always takes your hands and puts it under his shirt, on his bare back and you'd understand what he wants from you. definetly does it to you as well occasionally. has his head on your lap, his back up, and your hands on his back. loves it so much, unconsciously when you're not around he uses his members fingers but then ends up being embarrassed.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

makes it sexual. bro, when you offer it, he's takes it because that's an odd offer innit, but one scratch and he loves it. moans and groans on purpose just to make you embarrassed and shy. has his head in his arms, watching while you help him ease his muscles and shit. loves it when back scratching is accompanied with a back massage. definetly the type to just watch you get flustered and shit cause of the weird noises he makes during

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗡𝗔 ❞

falls asleep. First time you do it, he doesn't because it's kinda awkward but bro next time onwards you know boy has a pillow on your lap, his head buried in it, while you are scratching his back. soft snoring, which even makes you drowsy and then in a few minutes, he's sleeping on your lap, you are sleeping leaning against the couch. loves making you do this even while he's showering. bro just doesn't want to stay away from you.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗟𝗘 𝗭𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗚 ❞

jumps on you, forces you to push your hands into his shirt and scratch his back. it has to be his idea rather than your's. also the type to fall asleep, but whine and complain if you sleep. you have to be there scratching him for atleast an hour or so. hand workout fr. anyways, you wouldn't mind because you could be listening to music or some and still he'd be sleeping. wouldn't take him less than a minute to wake up as soon as you stop.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊ ⁭ ❝ 𝗝𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 ❞

buries his head in your lap because he doesn't want you to see him groan or some like that. very flustered about it first but later when he gets used to it, wouldn't mind if you two do that 24/7. is a bit hesitant to ask, so when you offer accepts it instantly. the type to koala hug you with his shirt off, giving you easy access to his back. definetly brags about it to his members or some like that.

©️FULLSUNISED.

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cyberrose2001 · 1 year

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hi hope you're well, a kinda long text coming...

with all the requests FILLED (literally) with joy with optimus, I shall be the one to break it HAHAHA so... can you do like a scenario where the reader and optimus are happy living their lives with the sparklings (imagine triplets!!!) everything is perfect but then........

optimus wakes up from his dream and realizes it all, the perfect family is not real, the reader is not alive, not being able to live with it, he suffers everyday bc of those dreams, he traps himself in this "reality" of his dreams (like that episode fr tfp on Megatron's mind) and isolate himself

hope that's not to sad >:) and if you're comfortable writing this, if not sorry.

Thank you author ❤️❤️❤️

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

you're very welcome anon!! this took waaaay too many drafts HAHA but im quite happy with it now, this is such a sad concept and now i just wanna give op a hug :(

I should also mention that I left the details of the sparklings biology unspecified. Whether you prefer them to be cybertronian, human or half-and-half is up to you! <3

Warnings: Angst, SFW

Word count: 1436

“Optimus, honey?” The wonderful voice of his lover called out to him. Closing the front door behind him, Optimus breathes a sigh of relief. Her soft voice calling out his name plays on repeat in his processor. “Is that you? Could you come and help me for a second?”

He had no idea how he got so lucky, to start a family with who he considers the most beautiful specimen in the known universe. Together, they both created three sparklings, all triplets and it was further proof that either Primus or another deity of life had seen the good that Optimus had done and blessed him with both her and sparklings. The day he found out that she was pregnant with them was the first time in his life that he experienced pure joy, the second time was when she gave birth to his little ones and officially became a sire.

With a soft smile, Optimus follows her voice to the playroom of the quaint house he calls home. He is thankful that mass displacement technology exists, allowing him to comfortably live in the house with his family. He observes from the doorway as his sparklings play with stuffed toys and little building blocks, making an absolute mess of the room. He clears his throat and leans against the doorway with folded servos, “I hope you young ones are going to help your mother with cleaning up.”

Three small heads perk up at the voice of their sire, all of them dropping their toys and bouncing over to him. He kneels down and gives his two sons a strong hug, pecking them both on the heads with kisses.

“Daddy!” The last born of the three calls out to him. Optimus chuckles softly as he opens his arms for her, embracing her close to his chassis. Now Optimus is not the one to pick favourites with his sparklings and loves them all equally, but his only daughter was the first one to hug him whenever he came home. She was also the one who took the most interest in his stories of when he was the great leader of the Autobots, constantly begging for her sire to re-tell them as a bedtime story, with the more graphic details left out. It makes the inner archivist within Optimus swell with pride that at least one of his sparklings has taken a liking to the history of his home planet.

“Hello, my sweetspark.” Optimus nuzzles his faceplate to her nose, enjoying the little giggles that erupted from her. He picks her up and places her on his hip, a servo supporting her under her bottom, “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah! Look what I do!” His toddler babbles as she points to a large tower made out of the small plastic blocks. It wasn’t very impressive by Cybertronian standards of what sparklings can do, but it doesn’t matter to Optimus, he will gush over anything that his kids build or draw in order to expand their creativity.

“Did you build that?” Optimus smiles at her, “How clever of you, honey.”

She nods eagerly, a big grin on her face, “Mommy helped!”

“Did she?” He looks towards his wife who was kneeled on the floor, stomach swollen with the life of another sparkling. She was sorting out the seemingly endless pile of toys that was thrown about on the floor. Optimus can’t help but admire his wifes devotion to their children, playing with them even when heavily pregnant. The incredible and important job of being a mother is something that Optimus has learned and respected during his time on Earth, especially after witnessing it firsthand.

“I did, now could you help me get up off the floor?” She chuckles, a hand rubbing her pregnant stomach.

Optimus carefully steps over the toys to walk over to her. He offers his servo and she graciously took it, pulling her up off the floor. She huffs a little bit and tries to catch her breath, bent knees trying to brace the weight of her unborn child.

“Thank you, love.” She sighs, lightly tracing the servo that still held onto her hand, “You would think I’d learn from my previous pregnancy to not get on the floor.”

Optimus laughs softly, readjusting his daughter on his hip, “It is probably not the wisest decision.”

She laughs, reminiscing the memory of her stuck on the floor while she was pregnant with the triplets, and he can feel himself falling in love with her all over again. She is absolutely glowing, and Optimus can’t help but bask in her natural beauty. Leaning forward, he presses a chaste kiss to her lips, smiling through it as he hears their sparklings protest as most children do when they see their parent’s smooch, “Yucky, Daddy!”

He pulls away from the kiss and brushes a servo across the tight skin of her stomach, feeling the little kicks of their soon-to-be newborn. Optimus doesn’t want to jinx anything yet, but he prays to Primus that it is another little girl.

She smiles and places her own hand on top of his, sharing the moment together. But Optimus does not notice that her smile faltered for a second.

“Optimus, you know that this can’t last forever.” His wife whispers quietly so that the sparkling he held can’t hear.

Optimus perks his helm up to look at her, confusion plastered on his face, his gentle caresses on her stomach halting for a moment, “What cannot last forever?”

She reaches a soft hand out to caress his faceplates, a small tear threatening to spill down her flushed cheeks. Despite being incredibly confused at his wife’s turn of behaviour, Optimus felt a need to comfort her and returns the gesture to wipe her own tears away.

“It’s not healthy for you… you need to wake up.”

Taking a step back, digits leave her face as he nearly trips on the carpet. The words that just left your lips made his spark sink to the floor. There was no way that Optimus was dreaming, he refused to believe, not when everything that has happened within the last few months felt so real and genuine. As quick as he felt his spark sink, the cosy home that surrounded his family began to crumble and disappear around him, falling into an endless cold void. The weight of his daughter on his hip was no longer there. The softness of his wife’s hand had disappeared. Optimus was left with nothing but the darkness of his empty mind. And at that point, Optimus felt his own optics lubricate and fall down into the void, the last echoes of his wife reaching his audial receptors.

“Optimus…”

“Optimus.”

“Optimus!”

Optics snap open, scanning the ceiling above him. In an instant, he sits up right on the berth below and vents heavily. He looks around carefully at his environment and realises that he is in his berthroom on the Autobot base, it feels lifeless.

“Hey, hey, take it easy.” A gentle yet firm voice reassures and pushes him back onto the berth, “I heard a distress signal from your internal instruments, is everything alright?”

Optimus recognises Ratchet, but the old bots words are drowned out by his processor running on overdrive. His wife, his sparklings, and his unborn little one are no-where to be found. Frantic optics flicker around every inch of the emptiness of his berthroom, hoping and wishing that they would be waiting just outside the room or hiding somewhere, playing that fun earth game called hide-and-seek that he enjoyed playing with his sparklings.

Ratchet notices the distant look in his friend’s optics and places a servo on his shoulder to try and ground him to the present, “Optimus, you’re fine, it seems as if you have just experienced a nightmare.”

His grip on the berth was hard. That was no nightmare. That was his life, a life that has now been taken away from him as a cruel punishment. All Optimus had ever wanted was right there in his grasp. He didn’t care about his friends, and he didn’t care about the Autobot cause anymore.

He just wants his family back.

“It was not.” Optimus whispers out, vocaliser stuttering. He knew Ratchet wouldn’t understand the monumental loss that he had just suffered, but Optimus could not deal with his old friend at this point in time. Just as Ratchet was about to question him, Optimus lets out a pained sob.

“Please…” He held his helm in his servos as lubricant began leaking from his optics once again, “Just leave me be.”

#transformers #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp optimus x reader #angst #sfw #x reader

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royjamierot · 1 year

Note

Roy/Jamie fic idea: Jamie is actually more deeply hurt about Roy duping him into going out for that beer. He’s actually in love with Roy and just went along to Keeley’s because he was pissed. Jamie starts to withdraw from Roy, who’s still being stubbornly dense. Roy realizes eventually and had to figure out how to get his best friend/the prick he might have feeling for in turn back

ahhh thank you!! i had so much fun writing this!! i really appreciate the request! sorry it took so long to get it out, i hope you enjoy it. this is a little different than what you asked but in my defense i kinda took it and ran

Jamie runs the night over in his head again. He thinks about the way Roy had asked him to come out with him. He replays how Roy had said he was proud of him.

It's been hours since it happened, but Jamie stands in his kitchen, thinking about how Roy said he was proud. It still makes something inside him twist. He wants to hear it again, and he knows it'll keep replaying even if it was just a fuckin' lead in to Roy telling Jamie he was getting back with Keeley. It was all a lead up to Roy saying that he knew Jamie had feelings for her, but they were starting something back up. Basically that he should stay out of the way.

Such bullshit.

Jamie takes a deep breath, puts his hands out on the table in front of him. He's back home, in his kitchen, and he meant to make something to eat but he's been standing still replaying the conversation over and over again.

There was that stupid thought in his mind, that the trip to the bar was a date. Everything they had done before, just the two of them, had always been followed by or preceded by training. This was the first time Roy invited him out, to a bar, to let him drink and everything. So something stupid and deep inside of him hoped and let himself think it was a date.

He had sat down, and Roy had sat down right next to him. The memory of it still lights him up. He wishes he could still feel Roy's side pressed against him. He's not sure he'll ever get that warmth again.

He had looked at Roy so fondly, and Roy looked back, and said he was proud. Jamie is sure he blushed. It was so good. It was everything he had ever wanted. He had gotten ahead of himself. In hindsight, he had gotten too excited and assumed things he wasn't told explicitly. That's his fault.

But he was so excited. There was a warmth on his cheeks and his lips that he wanted to share with the man next to him. Roy was being so kind, and he invited him out but-

Then Roy had said "I know you have a lot of feelings for Keeley-" and his stomach dropped right there. Everything he said after that mattered but also it didn't, because only then Jamie realized it wasn't a date to Roy.

It was like there was a sharp poke to the muscle around his heart, and there was a surge of pain and resistance.

Jamie doesn't know how it happened so fast, but suddenly he wanted to scream at Roy. He wanted to tell him he was the densest man Jamie knew, tell him that it's not Keeley Jamie has feelings for.

Jamie didn't say any of that.

It wouldn't have changed anything, probably would have made it all worse.

He hadn't screamed at Roy. He just pretended every feeling of anger eating him up then was about Keeley. It was easier that way. It was easier to fight and push and insult and make up over shared stupidity than it was to say something true.

Jamie snaps to reality when he accidentally tips a cup over when his shaking hand brushes it.

He sighs and picks the cup up and puts it in his sink.

His mind won't do anything besides run the night around over and over, hoping to find some proof it all didn't happen or-

Or that Roy feels the same way for Jamie.

Jamie's traitorous heart still hopes.

Even now, after relentlessly picking apart the night, Jamie hopes for something impossible.

He had let himself hope too much and he was let down. It's the hope that kills you, he thinks.

Another deep breath, another look around his kitchen. He eyes his freezer, says fuck it, and pulls out the pint of ice cream he bought specifically for Roy when he's over. Roy doesn't deserve it anymore and Jamie wants to wallow like he just got broken up with.

If you told Jamie a year ago that his self proclaimed cheat day consisted of one singular beer and a half eaten pint of rocky road, he would have called you insane. If you told him he was in his feelings about Roy Kent, he would be marginally less surprised. His feelings about Roy aren't exactly new. He's self aware enough to know that.

He plops himself down at the telly, turns on whatever show was first on his continue watching, and promptly passes out before he can even get a fifth bite of ice cream in. So much for a cheat day.

Jamie doesn't sleep easy or comfortably. He has a vague nightmare where a growly voice calls him stupid for ever hoping for something more. Jamie knows who the voice is, but even his subconscious isn't cruel enough to put Roy's face to the voice.

He wakes up to the sound of pounding on his door. He can't make sense of where he is for a moment, cause he's not in bed, but then he sees the cup of melted ice cream still in his lap (thankfully not spilled) and it all comes flooding back.

Fuck.

He pads his way over to the door, not bothering to check the time because he can see it's still pitch black outside and by the way Roy is banging on the door he's probably late. A little after four AM then.

He opens the door mid knock, and he's greeted with an angry, and then confused Roy Kent.

Before saying anything, Roy reaches up towards Jamie's face. Jamie snaps back.

"What the fuck mate?" He looks at Roy incredulously. He'd like to think he didn't flinch, but he knows he did.

Roy sort of stills with his hand in the air for a split second before touching his own face.

"You've got somethin'- What is that?" Roy rubs at the spot on the edge of his mouth.

"What- Oh." Jamie mirrors him, and sure enough there's ice cream dried on the corner of his mouth.

Roy's hand drops to his side and Jamie realizes with a flush to his face that Roy was going to rub it off himself before Jamie jumped back.

He tries to not let himself think about it. He can't.

Except, well, he can. It'd be so easy to think about Roy's hand on his face, it'd be so easy to wonder what Roy's thumb on his face would be like. He could think about all of these. But he won't think about all of this.

That's the difference. He won't.

"You look like shit." Says Roy with a skeptical look, and Jamie straightens his back and doesn't let himself back down from Roy's analytical eyes.

"Fuck you too, grandad. Maybe you need some glasses in your old age." Jamie snaps, and it's harsher than he meant it to be, but whatever. Serves him right.

Roy looks taken aback, almost confused again, and Jamie can't fucking stand it. It's too early for this. He can't look at Roy's face anymore.

"I'm gonna go get changed." Jamie says, and he closes the door on Roy before he can even say anything. He would usually invite him in but it's that kind of shit that made Jamie hope in the first place. They're friends, and that's exactly why Jamie needs to put this distance here.

Jamie bounds up the stairs and grabs a shirt and shorts that are a touch too tight, and Jamie still can't help but wonder what Roy will think of it.

He feels like he's gonna throw up. Roy doesn't want him like Jamie wants him to.

He's back down the stairs, and he fills up a water bottle. He frowns at the way he notices his hands are still shaking while he fills up the bottle.

He screws the lid on, and goes back to the front door. Another deep breath, and he's back outside. He doesn't look at Roy before shrugging his way past. He takes off in a jog that's just a little to fast to the point that he knows Roy can't keep up.

Jamie doesn't want to talk to him right now.

He runs too hard, stretches thoroughly, and ignores the screaming from his body when he works too hard just to make sure Roy can't criticize him for anything. Jamie pretends he doesn't notice Roy's eyes on him at any given time, or the way he squints like Jamie is a puzzle he can't find the missing pieces to.

It continues that way for a while. It's uncomfortably silent, and Jamie prays Roy can feel it. He wants Roy to feel a fraction of what Jamie feels.

Something ugly builds in Jamie in place of the silence. Something so angry and vindictive and jealous. He can't stand the way Roy doesn't say anything, doesn't apologize. If anything their little hissy fit was Roy's fault.

Then that anger gets dislodged a bit when Roy grunts out "good job" and Jamie feels his flush face despite himself.

Until he reminds himself that he's not supposed to react that way.

Then Jamie wants to cry again. How could he be so stupid to hope. It's the hope that kills you, he tells himself again.

He thinks he'll never hope again.

He'll move on.

Jamie is doing burpees now. Faster than he's ever done them. Jamie can feel Roy watching him, and he fights the bile building in his throat. Not well enough, of course. He pukes into a bush on the edge of the cluster of trees bordering this park. Nothing really comes up because he didn't eat this morning and the only thing he ate last night was ice cream.

A drink of water, and he's back to the burpees. He's going even faster than before. Everything fucking burns and he wants to go home, he wants to be alone.

"Oi! Tartt-" So much for Roy not talking to him. "You're working yourself harder than I do. Take a seat." He gestures to the bench next to him, but Jamie sits on the grass where he was standing.

Jamie sits and looks at everything besides Roy to the right of him. It's nice out. Jamie can imagine himself and Roy joking around if it was any other day. The thought makes him sick.

"Jamie-" And Jamie does not look at Roy then. He freezes at his first name, he freezes at the tone of his voice. It's so much softer than before.

"I'm sorry about last night. I was stupid and Keeley isn't an object and I had no right to claim her like I did and..." Roy talks slow, like it pains him to say it. "I wasn't just being nice, I don't want our feelings for her to get in they way of our friendship."

At that Jamie does look at him, for the first time since he showed up at Jamie's door. He looks so fucking sorry, and his eyes are wide in the way Jamie has only seen when he's worried about him. He says all this but he still doesn't fucking get why Jamie is upset. Roy tricked him! Jamie thought they were going out, and they weren't, it was all so Roy could say Keeley was his. That stupid adoration inside Jamie made him crave that ownership from Roy, but it was always impossible.

Jamie feels angry again, angry about 'our feelings for her' and 'friendship'. It's annoying how much Jamie feels about all of this. It takes over his body in a way he tries to hold back. It frightens him, the anger. He's scared of hurting people again. Scared of hurting Roy. He's not sure he'll ever escape the anger. It's a part of him he thinks. It eats at his insides and tries to undo every nice thing Jamie's ever done for Roy, every feeling of companionship.

Another wave of nausea overwhelms his senses and forces his eyes shut, trying to keep every cruel word from his mouth.

Despite it all he wants to hurt Roy the way he hurts and also deep inside that's the last thing he's ever wanted. He wants to call him an old twat. He craves to admit he's the best friend he's ever had and that he'd spend every morning and night with him.

And also he wants to say he's sorry too. Taking accountability and all that. He did rip Roy's shirt and insult him a lot.

His two sides fight internally, and he has to keep the nausea and the mean shit from escaping him. Roy is barely there to him anymore, it's just his own circling thoughts, his own whirlwind.

He takes a deep breath and looks at Roy. Who's still taking him apart with those annoyingly handsome worried eyes.

"Thanks." Is the only word that leaves Jamie. It's not an apology but it's not an insult either. Jamie grunts as he stands, and he thinks about throwing in a 'grandad' there too.

He doesn't.

Instead he turns, and starts walking. Walking away. It's a few moments before Roy is up and right behind him. Jamie can't stand it, he just needs to be away. If he's next to Roy for any longer his mind will keep going about his stupid anger and his even stupider love.

Because he knows that's what it is, love. Jamie doesn't fall often and when he does he falls hard.

What a fucking realization to have while walking away from the man you fell for.

He feels fingertips brush his hand, trying to grab it.

"Jamie-" Roy sounds confused. Jamie thinks he'll do something stupid if he turns around.

He runs. He takes off sprinting. He'd be using this sort of pace on the pitch. He runs and runs until he's out of the park, and then he runs some more until he's home.

That's the only solution he feels like he's ever known. He knows how to run. It's way easier than looking at Roy again and explaining the reason he's so upset is that he's actually in love with the twat.

He slams his front door behind him and realizes he left his water bottle at the park.

Whatever. Deep breath. He can buy another one.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. Deep breath. It's not Roy. He ignores it.

It's like that for a bit. He's sort of catatonic besides the purposeful deep breaths he takes, like Dr. Fieldstone taught him. His mind races with the same thoughts that they were before, somewhat subdued since Roy isn't right next to him anymore.

He wonders what Roy thinks about his behavior. Obviously he thinks this morning was about Keeley. He's not even sure why Roy is so hung up on Jamie having feelings for Keeley. He hasn't had feelings for her in a while. Why does he think Jamie's in love with her?

He doesn't get it.

The rest of Jamie's day is half hearted. He watches TV. Makes a sandwich. Buys another pint of ice cream. Eats the whole thing. He finds now he can't really give a shit about what Roy told him to do, at least not while Roy isn't here.

He passes out in front of the TV again, this time the pint of ice cream is fully eaten. Even if his stomach is gonna hate him for it in the morning.

Another restless sleep.

Another early morning for Jamie, who's awoken to pounding on the door.

He stands up and places an empty ice cream pint on the kitchen counter.

Same thing as yesterday, he goes to the door and opens it, and hopefully convincingly glares at Roy.

"I'm sick." Jamie says before even thinking.

"No you're fucking not. Listen, I let you have your space yesterday especially after the shit with Keeley but you cannot run away from training and you can't-" Roy momentarily cuts himself off.

"You're my fucking friend Tartt, and my player, and this shouldn't get in the way of that. Grow up." Roy grunts instead, and furthers his statement with a point at Jamie's shoulder.

That ugly emotional thing is back in Jamie's chest, and he has felt too many fucking emotions the past few days. Grow up? He's grown the fuck up, he knows how he feels, it's not his fault Roy is oblivious to what's right in front of him. It's like he's rubbing in his feelings for Keeley every possible second he can. It makes Jamie sick to his stomach. He's never been good with jealousy.

"Any advice on how to do that, grandad?" He snaps back, and that stupid thing inside him starts mixing with guilt. He doesn't like being cruel. He doesn't know why he is.

Roy is glaring at him until his attention snaps to something behind him. Jamie turns to see what he's staring at, but as he does Roy brushes past his shoulder as he walks in.

"Fucking hell mate, didn't your mum ever teach ya' some manners?" Jamie half shouts at Roy and doesn't notice what he's walking towards.

"The fuck is this?" Roy is holding up the empty ice cream pint that Jamie had left open on the kitchen counter. Shit. Fuck. He had been fine with ignoring Roy's direction without him knowing but-

"What's it look like?" Jamie snaps, because he doesn't know how to deescalate. Because he doesn't want to. He wants Roy to yell at him because he wants a reason to hate him. There's a hope that Roy will do something that justifies the terrible emotions in Jamie's chest.

Jamie looks at Roy waiting for anything that will make him feel less guilty for the anger inside of him.

Instead, Roy sighs, and throws the empty pint in the trash. He walks over to Jamie, who squares up his shoulders and stands a little taller, prepared for yelling. Prepared for a fight. Just instinct, innit?

Roy stops a few feet in front of him, and Jamie eyes him cautiously. He's staring at Jamie like he's trying to communicate something telepathically. Jamie doesn't get whatever he's trying to say.

"Can we talk about this?" Roy asks.

"The ice cream?" Jamie asks incredulously.

"No, fucking- Us. Can we talk about us?" Roy groans. It's like a punch to the gut. Roy is fucking trying to talk to him about his emotions, about their relationship. All of this while Jamie is standing in front of him, praying he'll get frustrated and leave like most of the other people in Jamie's life. It'd be easier to move on that way, if Roy was an asshole.

Roy isn't like he used to be though, and neither is Jamie. They wouldn't be here, in Jamie's kitchen, talking about their relationship, if they were like they used to be. Jamie hasn't wished it before, but in this moment he wishes they were like they used to be.

But, well, he doesn't wish that at all, because he can tell Roy is so confused and Jamie doesn't know what to do.

What are they doing?

They stand in front of each other in an uncomfortable stretching silence. Jamie considers why they're here.

They're friends fighting over a girl. That's all they're supposed to be. Roy wants Jamie to get over it and explain why he's still upset, but if Jamie says anything about anything he'll end up saying something he regrets. Something too mean or something too true, it's all the same result. Losing Roy.

It's silent as Roy stares at Jamie, who's trying to piece together what to say without getting overwhelmed over basically nothing.

Deep breath.

"What is there to say? We both-" Jamie is cut off by a break in his own voice. "We both want what we can't have."

"Right, we both can't have her, so why are you so fucking mad still?" Roy says.

Jamie hasn't wanted Keeley in a while. All of this had been on the assumption from Roy that he still loved her which he doesn't. If only Roy could see that. He's sure it's obvious to everyone else around him.

"You have no fucking idea." Jamie says, and he knows he shouldn't but he sort of laughs at how oblivious Roy is.

"What?" Roy snaps, and Jamie wishes he could go back to two days ago when he was in love and still hoping Roy felt the same way. Right now he's in love and trying not to pick another fight with his favorite person in the world.

"Can you just go, mate, please?" Jamie groans.

"You're supposed to be training right now." Roy says. It's not even stern or commanding, it sounds like a plea. Jamie wants to punch him in the stomach, kiss him on the lips. He doesn't want Roy to leave, but he needs that to happen, otherwise he'll do something stupid.

Like punch him. Or kiss him.

Jamie tightens his jaw and stares Roy down, silently begging for the mercy of abandonment.

"I just don't understand. Keeley said you haven't tried to talk to her since we went to her house-" Roy has talked to Keeley about Jamie? " -and now you look like shit and you're running away and you won't talk to me and I don't understand what the fuck is wrong."

"I wish you didn't give a shit, that was easier." Jamie snaps and turns away, not even thinking about what he's saying.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Roy asks, and Jamie needs him to leave. Everything he's felt in the past 48 hours is building inside of him again. Every hurt feeling and shameful and soft enough.

His hands find purchase in the countertop he now holds himself against. He leans over his sink, facing the wall and pointedly not Roy. It's easier to speak when he's not staring directly at the thing making his life so much more complicated.

"Please just go-" He grunts, once again hoping for something he knows is impossible.

This conversation is short but with the way Jamie's mind is racing it feels like hours.

"I'm not going until you explain what the fuck is wrong." Roy sighs, and Jamie groans.

That unnameable beast inside of him rears its ugly head and forces Jamie to take what he wants even if it'll ruin all of this.

Something inside him snaps, and he does it.

Something stupid.

He turns and doesn't look at Roy before he kisses him. Because he's a stupid twat who knows this will further ruin whatever they already have. He'll get pushed off, and he'll die of embarrassment and transfer to a new club, fuck off to America if no one will take him.

Jamie kisses Roy softly, chastely, contrasting with the way he stormed over to Roy. There's the scratch of his beard, and his surprisingly soft lips, and Jamie wishes again. He wishes this wasn't happening like this.

It's over in a second and there's not a second before he's talking again.

Holding back tears, he says "It wasn't about Keeley. It was about you, you stupid twat."

Jamie is staring at the floor when he says it, before promptly turning on his heel and once again making a run for it. Everything inside of him is gone, washed away by the tide of mind numbing emptiness.

"I'm sorry." Jamie murmers back as he makes a start to dash up the stairs.

Jamie is already crushed by the weight of his own shame for doing that, for pushing himself on Roy. He had gotten better about his impulses, but he's still Jamie, a fact that disappoints himself almost daily. He'll never not be himself.

He's not three steps away before a hand catches his wrist and pulls him back.

A solid hand steadies him when he stumbles back, and another hand cups his face far more gently than he deserves.

Fucking hell.

Roy is kissing him. Roy is kissing him back, really kissing him, and Jamie is just standing here. Roy's hands hold Jamie's face, and his wrist, and he's kissing him.

The shock barely wears off in the few seconds before Jamie is kissing back. Holy shit. This is real.

He's at a loss for a way to describe the way he lights up. A candle could take his place and Jamie doesn't think it'd be any warmer or brighter than he feels.

The kiss is almost familiar, and sort of pushy and insistent. It's Roy fucking Kent.

It's not enough before Roy pulls back. Jamie holds back from chasing his lips.

Jamie inhales sharply and opens his eyes to see Roy in front of him looking so fond and so handsome.

"Jamie- I'm sorry. I like you too." He murmers.

That does a number on Jamie too.

What the fuck? Jamie thinks.

"What the fuck?" He also says it out loud. "But you like Keeley-"

"I was- um-" Roy suddenly looks squeamish and now he won't meet Jamie's eyes. "I was jealous of Keeley, I think. I saw you two talking and I thought I was jealous of you but-" He waves his hand between the two of them.

Jamie can't help the way he feels butterflies erupt in his stomach at the fact that Roy just admitted he was jealous of Keeley for just talking to Jamie.

"Oh. Oh." Jamie breathes out softly, scared that if he talks too loud it'll ruin the delicate admission.

"Yeah. I didn't realize until last night when I realized I had thought about you and fucking worried about you more than I had thought about Keeley in a while."

"You're so stupid." Jamie laughs to himself, pulling Roy into a hug just a touch too tight.

"Fuck off, what?" Roy says right next to Jamie's ear.

"I'm so down bad for you mate, you have no clue." Jamie smiles into Roy's neck.

There's a new overwhelming thing inside of him, warm and burning in a pleasant way. He wants to kiss him again.

So he does.

"We can talk about this later, can I kiss you?" Jamie asks, and Roy nods, and it's like nothing happened in the past day.

Jamie no longer has to fight those emotions inside himself and it's a breath of fresh air after having nearly drowned. Jamie knows the anger but this is new. The rainbow after the rain.

He could live in this moment forever.

#im so sorry if the pacing is weird #royjamie #fics #mine #jamie tartt #i love prompts I'll happily take more #asks

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