#fr no matter how much i like the artist when i go in we have such a religious experience when we’re in there

[wrenoms]

if you dont get to inhabit a body very frequently, the BEST thing to do when ur around is to be at a concert. it is the Most Experience Ever

[eoieopda]

[visual content blog recommendations]

we see fic recs all the time, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen rec lists for visual content (gif/art/gfx/etc.) creators! they’ve been dealing with a bunch of shit lately between reposts, tumblr garbage, etc., so i wanna shout-out some favorites. thank you for keeping us fed!!

disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list!! if you have recommendations of your own, please feel free to expand on this yourself and/or drop some of your faves in the replies for others to see. self-promo is always welcome here, too ✨ p.s. some of these are recent finds for me, so pls expect to see more of them on my blog. eta: i will be adding more as i go!!

[bts]

@yooboobies — réka’s gif sets are *chef’s kiss* and the ART? omg. the talent!!! 😭 we simply have to simp.

@cordiallyfuturedwight — apart from being one of the coolest/funniest people i’ve found on army tumblr, i am a kayla stan because the niche themes for her gif sets (ex. bangtan turtlenecks series) feel like they’re made 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 even though they absolutely aren’t, lmao.

@hopeinthebox — the bts as reductress headline + incorrect bangtan series are probably my favorite pieces of content on the entire internet??? also, lizzy is absolutely gd hilarious. tags are 11/10. a blessing upon my dash.

@kimtaegis — i’m not visually artistic enough to say this in a way that makes sense, but annie’s gifs are just… stunning? like, the colors? idk about the process that goes into that, but i imagine it takes a lot of time/finesse to be this vivid.

@kithtaehyung — ryen is the renaissance man of army tumblr, fr. not only can she write (like!!!) but she’s multi-faceted and insanely creative with her graphic design. i want her to tutor me, lmao.

@raplinenthusiasts — ooohhhhh my god. the coloring of their gifs makes my brain go brrrrtttt. this bts x the office set is on my “always reblog” list; i’ll share it every time i come across it.

@heybaetae — this set in particular is on my “always reblog” list, no matter how many times i’ve done so already. also, idk how to describe this, but kelli’s gifs are just…. crispy 🤌🏻 like, so satisfying with the…. texture? filtering? contrast? i’m an idiot re: editing terms, but go peep them and you’ll know what i’m trying to say.

@kth1 — literally who could ever forget maggie’s 100 days of (member) series??? the amount of work that had to go into that? unfathomable.

@jeurias — i want to wallpaper my house and office with their gfx. i’m deadass.

@jinstronaut — emmeline has been doing her “a jin a day while he’s away” series for OVER 250 DAYS NOW. i have never been nor will i ever be able to commit to anything to this level.

[multi/skz/atz/svt/etc.]

@starryoong — do not get me started on starry’s paintings, sketches, etc. because i will never shut up. ever. j’adore 🫠 is also a five-star human being.

@irlvernon — my queue is probably 80% max gifs at any given time. god-tier, fr. a must-follow for carats, as far as i’m concerned.

@vcrnons — incredible gifs, lovely human, and also the writer of some of my favorite svt fics??? we stan.

@yelhsaart — i don’t have any words for how much i love their art so please imagine guttural screaming instead. asdfghjkl!!!

@hizuillu — ……breathtaking. legitimately stunning skz art. like…… i have heart palpitations.

@snug-gyu — THE USE OF COLORS. i’m always a simp for pantone-inspired sets; they just scratch an itch in the back of my brain, and BOY HOWDY, is my brain satisfied 😵‍💫

@yunwooz — again, i have no idea what i’m talking about when it comes to the gif-making process, but the colors!!! the COLORS!!! like, taking a mv that’s not super vivid/is fairly greyscale and bringing it to life? ya know????

@booskwan — you want incredible gifs? they’ve got em. you want stunning gfx? they’ve got em. seriously, idk what to tell you except “pause right here and go follow immediately”.

@haechannabelle — listen……. annabelle’s art style is 😗🤌🏻 (that’s a chef’s kiss). the use of color, and the technique, and and and — ! ALSO, i must mention that she took, like, 50 hours to compile a boycott-friendly k-pop playlist. their vibes are simply impeccable.

rev. 4/10/24

[not-goldy]

Not your followers thinking Jimin doesn't need to be big star also. Are they even sane ??? EACH AND EVERY MEMBER IN BTS IS AMBITIOUS AF, ESPECIALLY JM. But unlike JK, JM is not airhead to keep on saying he want to be next big thing, want to be seen as this het fuckboy who only sings about sex to be seen as mature, want to be one and only kpop star to do so bla bla bla all while not lifting a pen to write songs, won't have streams and sales without a 938397328 versions and all that mediaplay from company. Or atleast the bare minimum hold a mic properly and talk/sing without fidgeting and embarrassing yourself. How you gonna dominate western market without even communication skills lmao.. those times when he used to stand in shade of RM is gone lol. Jk's big project DREAMERS debuted under bubbling 100 while JM gave that YG company their 1st hot 100 entry by a collab. So saying JK is this and that while we are not seeing results organically is dumb af. Golden maknae because he sing and dance some white man's songs which company already bought success for ? Oh there's 100 other artists who sings and dance way better than him. He can't hold 5 mins on stage if he's doing a dance battle with Jimin lol.

What company doing to members IS INJUSTICE AF.. especially Jimin who fucking proved he can also be the 'next big thing'. But they conveniently sweep him under rug so his shine won't affect their industry plant launch. Or why can't they support him too ???? Is it that difficult ? JK didn't do a shit and got everything. I BET HE WONT DEBUT NO.1 FOR SEVEN NOR GET ALL THOSE RECORDS IF IT WAS NOT THE PUSH FROM SCOOTS. BE FR. Go and check his BB points to see how payola impacted his chart. It would've been a -48 like 3D on second week too. While what we asked for Jimin was the deserved support in 2nd week for a song which fucking went no.1 with fans support and artist impact alone. It's NOT secretly wishing JK's treatment for JM, but asking what he fucking deserves. Literally any company will give the extra promos for his in 2nd week but not hybe who's on a mission to sell themselves to somehow establish JK in west 😬

And don't say JM will chose me over JK. Did I said I want JM to chose me ????? THIS IS HIS CAREER HE WORKED HARD FOR NOT A FUCKASS RELATIONSHIP. Even if you look at their relationship also, it's the same lol. JM keep on giving and giving him his everything while JK sit back and enjoy Jimin while not even bothering to post a simple bday wish or go and meet him even after him begging a 100 times.

YOU CANT CALL OTHERS JK ANTIS BECAUSE THEY SEE TRUTH AND SAY IT OUT LOUD. Ask him to play fairly like a man 1st, then we will see who's the real winner here ?

DAMN IF PSYCHO WAS A PERSON

IF HE'S WINNING DOES IT MATTER HOW HE'S WINNING???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS WORK IN THIS WORLD OR ARE YOU ONE OF THE DELULUS WHO THINK HARD WORK IS EVERYTHING?

You are crazy if you think money, connections, power, politics, privilege and luck play zero role in making a star. Please find other 2 yr olds and hug them, don't bring this shit to the adult table its embarrassing.

I'm embarrassed for you.

Scoot---- okay, MA'AM A PUSH IS A PUSH WHETHER IT'S FROM SCOOBY-DOO OR THE DEVIL

TAKE YOUR WEIRD MORAL COMPASS AND CHICKEN CHANGE ETHICS TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK

READ MY LIPS

Go weep somewhere else.

You gonna come on the internet and bitch complain bout how the entertainment industry is not fair WELL BOO HOO CRY ME A RIVER YOU LOSER.

And make sure you come with a costume next time so we know the circus from whence you came Missy Clowniot.

You give PJMs a bad name you ASS HAT

You sound like those whiny kpop losers who complain BTS has privilege and connections and power and their lame loser favs don't- as if power and connections are things you throw on people's laps.

If Hard work is all it takes BTS WOULD HAVE SEVERAL GRAMMYS YOU DUMBASS.

And the fact you out here farting yourself in the name of Park Jimin irks me so much. Here's the truth you want so bad, YOU SUCK. And you making Jimin out to be pathetic too damn.

Now I know it's not Park Jimin you out here acting like he's inferior and a victim and a loser who needs the bar to be lowered and for people to choose him love him play fair and nice before he can win. Child THE AUDACITY.

YOU DON'T THINK DO YOU??

I know he's not the one you fucking dragging through the mud indirectly with these brain dead waste of breathe rants.

PLEASE STOP JIMIN DON'T NEED A FAN LIKE YOU.

YOU ARE EMBARRASSING HIM.

The nerve and audacity for you to even compare him to- WELL ANY ONE I'M ABOUT TO PUT HANDS ON YOU FOR THAT.

I WILL SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR THIS FOR REAL.

It's the lack of intelligence and you not taking a hint and you not knowing when to stop- FUCK IT LET'S GET NASTY THEN.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND I IS I CAN'T PUT ANY ONE ON A PEDESTAL ABOVE PARK JIMIN ENOUGH TO VICTIMIZE HIM THE WAY YOU DO.

HE'S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE HE IS NOT COMPETING WITH NO FUCKING ONE

HAVE SOME FUCKING CLASS AND TACT

OR GO OVER THERE WHERE THE OTHER PJMs OF YOUR CALIBRE ARE

IF JIMIN SEES THIS HE WILL THROW UP AND I'M GONNA WIPE HIS VOMIT WITH YOUR FACE YOU RAGGEDY ASS

NEVER EVER EVOOOOORRR COMPARE PARK BIG DADDY JIMIN TO ANY ONE LET ALONE HIS SWEET HEART

NO ONE IS ON HIS LEVEL AND NO ONE WILL EVER BE.

ALSO JIKOOK ARE A FUCKING POWER COUPLE THE FUCK!

IF JUNGKOOK'S POWER MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

GO SIT OVER THERE

[polarizefinn]

A GUIDE TO SERENDIPITYS FALL: a short story

a little bit'a angst :^) artist hyunjin x gn!reader notice: 0.7k words, wrote this in a span of like 15ish minutes, may be messy (are we surprised?)

warning: mentions of nudity, bitchesz broken hearts fr and scars.

deep breath. in, out.

as much as youd like to believe that time heals all wounds, youd like to believe that this one had completely disappeared by now.

the person who you were addicted to, who you couldnt insist on letting go from your life broke your heart, yet your feet guided you here. his first official exhibition, which you promised to him over a year ago that youd attend no matter what.

you stare at the art gallery in front of you, the glass doors seeming to expose the long hallway before it, at the end a big room extending to the sides.

the walls of the place seeming decorated with spectacular pieces, wallpapers glistening and making the place seem heavenly. you push the door open, taking it all in.

the air here feels heavier, richer - sort of.

you walk down the long hallway, with each step your shoulders loosening, your breath alligning and your ears starting to lose the overwhelming sense of hearing your heartbeat.

you reach the end, allowing yourself to take in the canvases, almost a lifelong worth of work all in one space. the amount of people here doesnt shock you, hes always been loved. still, he couldnt fit the part of being the lover.

you walk to the far left, starting from the beginning and working your way up to observe all the paintings, as if you havent seen most of them already.

you giggle at the first couple of unfinished pieces, admiring a bit how he had always left some unfinished on purpose,

"i have other things to focus on."

the ones after explore life, nature, the sky. things that are simply beautiful, things that build more imagination, things that are simple yet hard to understand.

"look, do you see it the way i see it?"

pain, humiliation, flowers. flowers had meanings, he taught you. the one time he got some for you, he apologised for it.

"i didnt envision that this would end up hurting you instead."

as you reach the last couple of paintings, you spot the artist.

the group around him listening intently to his words, his explanation for the newest painting.

as you look at it closer, your head starts spinning and you feel tears filling your eyes.

deep breath, in and out. you repeat over and over to yourself.

you look up again and confirm - the painting is of you.

your nude body, a photo you sent to him when he was still a somebody to your life, when you thought you meant so much more than a piece of artwork.

you put your hands in your pockets, looking from afar. you couldnt help but to overhear his explanation, the description of the inspiration earning a chant of "ooh"s.

"and who were they to you?"

you hear a man asking.

you turn to look at hyunjin, his head tilting slightly to look at the man, as a smile creeps up on his face. he looks at the painting again, that goddamn smile still stuck to his face.

"they were merely a muse, nothing more."

and there it was.

how could the same person have the guts, have the fucking guts to break your heart enough times that you can start counting them?

you tried to say something. you tried, but couldnt. your stomach filling up with anxiety and embarrassment instead of butterflies upon hearing his voice.

as much as you hated to admit it, he was something you considered otherworldly. but very slowly, and painfully you came to realise that his weakness was his art, his fondness to you seemed to be replaced.

until you merged as one, and you had to step away from that picture, promising yourself that you wont let yourself be someone elses second choice.

you promised him youd come here, no matter what. didnt he remember?

you became his object, his composition. this time you werent there to stop it, to tell him that youd rather be a distant memory, than now a new collectors item.

that, and he forgot to paint the scar on your wrist from the thorn of the rose. the unrequited love flower, remember?

[shkretart]

Hi! I'm so sorry I just spamed you! Not a question but the thing is it hasnt been a long time since I entered this fandom (which is a fckin paradise) and I had seen your work on other platforms but never knew who was the artist and today I just stumbled with you on tumblr. Lucky me! Scrolling down your blog I saw you said your Ghost didn't completely convinced you for your own personal reasons, even tho all of us find your draws incredible (fr i love your ghost), but I completely understand your feeling cuz I struggle sooo much with the same self-criticism. I as an artist too who doesn't have half the impecable technique you have but fantasizes with posting her drawings because actually doing it feels so scary when my work never seems just right to me, even if I'm just sketching, it doesn't feel perfect and that leads me to share nothing or even stop completely drawing.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, there's tons of illustrators and artists whose works are so unique, but nobody does it like you do yours and that's what makes yours so fantastic and special. Might not be relevant, but I wanted to tell you I love how you draw all the cod characters and how for a second it did surprise me you didn't fully like some of your drawings I found so impressive, it help me see how delusive our minds are when the perfectionism hits, so subjective. You inspire me, thank you. Who knows, maybe one day I'll dare to share my own drawings even if they aren't as admirable as yours.

Send you tons of love ❤️

Hello! I don't know exactly when this was sent, and I'm very sorry for not responding to the message sooner. Due to prolonged sadness or I don’t know how to say... roughly speaking, depression in drawing, I completely pulled away and was afraid to show my drawings.

But I want to answer everyone. Even if they probably won't be seen.

I really appreciate what is said here. I'm not even sure "thank you" will be enough. No. This is more than a thank you. Your words are very kind and just warmed my heart. You gave me real motivation that I shouldn't give up because of doubts. I am very glad that you wrote such sweet and kind words. and I'm really glad that there are people who like my drawings.

So, I want to tell you: don't give up and don't doubt. Share what you want if you want. I'd love to see how much you grow in your creativity! And it doesn’t matter who and how much better or cooler. We all have room to grow, we all make mistakes. So go ahead! We all started somewhere.

Sending you tons of love and hugs too ❤️🫂

[icanseethefuture333]

whats the tea on olivia rodrigo and taylor swift's "friendship"? 👀 how does olivia feel about her idol now, she had to pay 50% of royalties to her over song similiarities to cruel summer with deja vu

Is it just me who finds it problematic and weird how Olivia keeps getting caught in these copyright infringement scandals? Like girl how hard is it to give credit to someone or pay for the sampling 😭???

Taylor Swift & Olivia Rodrigo, friends or foes?:

Lmfao this is so dramatic but I had a vision of Olivia being hysterical and crying saying "Our friendship is over 😡😭!!!". She's really taking it to heart and feels this was a personal attack on her, when that it is not the case. To Taylor, this is just business, and she felt that she was being disrespected by someone who was supposedly her biggest fan. Taylor feels that she can be inspired by her, but it's not right for her to copy her. She questions how much of a "singer-songwriter" Olivia actually is. They are on really bad terms as of right now.

How does Taylor feel about Olivia?:

I feel that Taylor really appreciates the love and support that Olivia had given her all these years. She could see her younger self in Olivia and had high hopes for her. Taylor could of had possibly wanted to be her mentor? Or someone Olivia can depend on in the industry since she's seen the highs and lows of what the music business can do to people, especially Disney stars in particular. Taylor thinks what Olivia did was sneaky and could even think her behavior in general is very two faced. She believes Olivia acts as this sweet girl but then takes from other people to get what she wants or likes to take credit so she can get the praise. Once Taylor discovered the song similarities she deaded that shit immediately LMAO. Taylor did not care that Olivia idolizes her, she cares more about her craft more than anything, and will do whatever it takes to protect it. I heard "I worked hard for this, not you." (Period T.Swiftie!!! Go off T Swizzle 😂). She's not playing with Olivia fr. Taylor knew this situation would emotionally upset Olivia since she has such a strong attachment to her but she knows that she can't let her feelings get in the way of work. So Taylor had to do what was right and fight for justice. She feels guilty though and might reach out to her soon to try to patch things up. Taylor could be reading what people are saying about her on social media and after the court case, she feels like she needs to be alone to recover because disappointing someone so dear to her makes her upset. "It's either me or you, I have to choose me."

How does Olivia feel about Taylor?:

Olivia is absolutely distraught by this situation. She has looked up to Taylor for years and feels like the saying that "Don't meet your heroes because you'll be disappointed." is true, but I don't feel like that's what's really going on here. Taylor didn't do something to purposely go against Olivia and be spiteful towards her. It's just that she doesn't understand how serious this is. This is a business matter and a legal issue, you can't just graze over work just because you are friends with somebody. Olivia feels like since she is inspired by Taylor, that's why their songs are similar but she didn't actually intend to copy her. I am almost reminded of like those people on tiktok who promote themselves and caption their videos with "There's this new girl who sounds like Ariana Grande and blah blah her name is ___" Then it's their music and concept that looks and sounds the exact fucking same as the artist mentioned. It's really just a cheap and tacky tactic to gain more popularity. Being so "heavily" inspired by someone is problematic because you're not being yourself and you're copying off somebody's else's hard work. We don't need another Taylor Swift, we need to know who Olivia Rodrigo is. Olivia is being immature, she is still young so she is easily impressed by the fame, celebrities, etc, but if Olivia wants to make it in this business she really needs to grow up and find herself. She's in her 20s now and this is the age of self discovery. Olivia needs to find her own identity and learn about what makes her happy and what is her purpose as a musician. Otherwise this industry will chew her up and spit her out. As fast as she became famous, she will go downhill just as quickly if she doesn't get it together.

Could they be friends again? Were they ever truly friends?:

They were never really close friends because Olivia has this perception of Taylor that's not true to her. Olivia's view of Taylor could be really outdated. It's like a little girl who's missing her big sister. Taylor is not the same teenager with her curly hair and acoustic guitar anymore, she's a grown woman. So as much as they wanted to be close, it's just that Olivia can't get past her own assumptions of Taylor. With the Seven of Cups, their possibility of being friends is really up in the air. I honestly believe these two are going through some sort of karmic lesson right now. They are learning from each other about doing what's right. As much as Taylor is mad about what Olivia did, she is thinking of ways to reconcile with Olivia. Even though Olivia is in her feelings right now, she really misses her. So maybe in the future we could have hope and see if they will be on good terms again.

Channeled song: Do You Want To Build A Snowman? From Frozen ❄️⛄️ (Aw this is actually so sad, help me LOL 😭)

"Elsa?"

"Do you want to build a snowman?

Come on, let's go and play!

I never see you anymore

Come out the door

It's like you've gone away

We used to be best buddies

And now we're not

I wish you would tell me why!

Do you want to build a snowman?

It doesn't have to be a snowman"

"Go away, Anna 😔..."

"Okay, bye 🥺😞"

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

[im-no-jedi]

my thoughts on the TBB season 2 finale

I’ve been more than open about my feelings at this point. I enjoyed the majority of The Summit actually, it’s just Plan 99 that I wish I could erase from my memory forever LOL

you know what, I’ll just go ahead and name everything I did like about these episodes, since I’ve done plenty of complaining already 😝

like I said, I did genuinely like The Summit as an episode. there were a lot of really great moments up until everything started to go wrong (thanks Saw Gerrera, I hate your guts 🙃)

the beginning part on Pabu with Phee. oh. my. GOSH. that was the cutest thing ever. Tech/Phee is officially up there with Kanera and Han/Leia as one of my favorite SW ships 🥰 awkward Tech was SO cute. and relatable 😝

Tech being so adamant about rescuing Crosshair, oh my heart, he misses his brother SO much 😭💙

I have to continue to talk about how freaking happy I am that Echo is back. idk how often he’ll be around in the next season, but I hope the group permanently stays together now. I missed him SO much 🥺

Wrecker was SO funny and sweet in this episode. the part where they’re like “we need to be precise” and they ALL turned to look at Wrecker, OMG that was literally the funniest thing to ever happen in the entire show 🤣👌🏻

Tech Spiderman swinging up to that sensor tower was 👀

Team Sneaky going off to do sneaky things, while Team Chaos handled the homing beacon, LOVE to see it. I was so proud of my baby girl for getting through the hanger, with Wrecker watching her back the entire time 🥰

😳😳😳

seriously why was this episode just one big Rogue One reference LOL

when Tech and Hunter went off, and Tech was like “it could take forever to locate the problem”, and Hunter almost immediately finds the hidden bomb, I love my man so much 😙

that part when Team Sneaky was fighting off Stormtroopers and Hunter used one of the bodies as a human shield, babe please I’m already simping 🥵

as much as I hate droid deaths, Wrecker stepping on the mouse droid and it getting stuck on his foot was so silly 😆

and now for what I enjoyed in the accursed Plan 99...

gonna start off with an obvious one... Hunter sniper shooting down that ship with his little DC-17 blaster in one shot. sir. SIR. IM ALREADY STUPIDLY IN LOVE WITH YOU PLEEEEEASE 😍😍😍🥵🥵🥵

as horrible as it was, from an artistic perspective, Tech’s “death” was an absolute masterpiece. since I already knew that was going to happen and had even watched that moment in a clip on Twitter with the sound off, what really did me in was the music (darn you Kiners 😭💔) and Omega’s reaction. that’s what got me sobbing fr. I can appreciate something from an artistic perspective, even if I don’t like the subject matter 😞

the part where Omega was woozy after the crash mimicked the end of Reunion with Hunter after he’d gotten shot by Cad Bane, and I genuinely loved that 👌🏻

THE WHOLE SCENE WITH HUNTER COMFORTING OMEGA OMFG MY DADGUM HEART. him smiling when she woke up, the softness of his voice, brushing the hair out of her face, putting a hand on her shoulder and then wrapping his arm around her for comfort... and then to top it off, the way he gently brought up the idea of living on Pabu and asking her if that’s what she wanted to do too. I am WEEPING over this man 😭😭😭💙💙💙

as mad as I am at Cid, it was obvious she meant what she said about Tech. and she genuinely felt bad for what she did. I want her to come back in season 3 and do something to make up for doing that. she HAS to 🥺

as much as I hate Hemlock with every fiber of my being... “who knew Clones are so paternal?” WE BEEN KNEW MY DUDE. sorry, but I’m going to relish in every single confirmation that Hunter is Omega’s dad tyvm 😊

I’m terrible, I know, but I genuinely love to see Hunter in a state of despair, so him picking up Tech’s broken goggles with that sad look on his face was *chef’s kiss*

I was very proud of my girl for taking charge and trying to rescue her brothers. proud mama right here 🥺💙

also, again, I’m sorry, but the whump in this episode was very good. I might’ve enjoyed seeing injured Hunter and Wrecker in the hands of Imperials a little too much 😝

the absolute BEST scene in this episode (and one of the best scenes in the show period)? ECHO IN THE WALKER. OMFG. Ham and I SCREAMED. and to top it off? “Echo?” “Gotta be Echo.” THE BEST THE ABSOLUTE BEST THAT EPISODE WAS WORTH WATCHING JUST FOR THAT MOMENT 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I once again state that I love seeing Hunter in despair and permanently have that look of pure horror he made while watching the Imperial ship fly away with Omega engrained in my mind forever, thanks 😌 and he had tears in his eyes I SAW IT. STOP SAYING HE DOESN’T CRY PLEASE 😤

last thing I’ll say about Hunter I swear lsdkfjghlgfkd. but uhh, that last part about him saying how they’re gonna find Omega no matter what it takes... my man’s about to enter his Joel Miller phase and go John Wick on the Empire and I HAVE BEEN WANTING THIS FOR SO LONG YES PLEASE GO FRICK THEM UP BABE 😍😍😍

the way Omega was genuinely happy to see Crosshair again... the way she desperately tried to wake him up... ohhhhh next season is going to break me in the best way possible 🥺🥺🥺

that’s everything I think! time to wait impatiently for season 3 now✨

......why tf did I have more positive things to say about Plan 99 than The Summit lolololol

[scattered-winter]

ao3 wrapped !!

I've seen a few people doing this and thought I'd jump on the train lmao

1: how many words have you written this year?

uh. um. 319,614 lmfaooo

2: how many works did you publish this year?

just 5!! it's been a slow posting year but I have a LOT of WIPs I was working on in the meantime lmao

3: what work are you most proud of, regardless of kudos/hits?

bound like quintenary stars, without a doubt. it's the largest scale project I've ever done, and it's really forced me to grow as a writer

4: what work of yours has the most hits?

hold onto me has over 15k hits which is still WILD to me lmfao. if only i could write an update to that thang. and if we're talking just this year, then it's buckley siblings and their terrible, awful, no good very bad first dates at almost 3k

5: favorite title you used?

DEFINITELY buckley siblings and their terrible, awful, no good very bad first dates. i read that book as a kid and i think i'm hilarious

6: what artist have you pulled lyrics from the most:

probably bastille. tbh

7: pairing that you wrote the most for this year:

buddie LMAO. of the 5 fics i posted this year, 3 of them are buddie. I'm not counting quintenary stars in this because as of right now it's still mostly genfic and the romance won't come in until much further down the line

8: favorite pairing you wrote for this year:

only a few people know this but I wrote a LOT of adashi. I'm working on a side piece for quintenary stars that focuses on them pre-kerberos, and there are also a handful of adashi-adjacent aus i've been working on including leverage, agents of shield, and rwby. i'm obsessed with them lowkey

9: what work was the quickest to write?

walking out into the dark, cutting out a different path, led by a beating heart was uh. well. i wrote it in a matter of hours in a haze of mental illness in between the promo for 911 s6e11 and the actual episode dropping later that night. for those of you who don't have the context, a character got struck by lightning and subsequently was lingering on the threshold of death in episode 10, and when the promo for 11 dropped we realized there was going to be a coma dream episode in which the character would experience what should have been his Perfect Life but without all the things that led him to where he was, he never would have had an impact on his friends and family, and there would have been disastrous consequences. I distinctly remember skipping out on an entire day of classes because I was writing this fic LMFAO. and to this day I'm still very proud of it. incredible things come from sheer insanity it seems

10: what work took you longest to write?

seeing as quintenary stars is still ongoing, I'll say you're such a heavenly view. i had just watched prince caspian (again) and was feeling insane (as per usual) but it still took FOREVER to get this thang finished </3

11: what's your longest fic of the year?

quintenary stars is currently sitting pretty on 221,491, making it my longest piece of writing ever. which is pretty cool and also kinda scary because bro. bro i have no idea where these words are coming from

12: what's your shortest fic of the year?

buckley siblings !! it was short and sweet. angst and whump. u guys know what i like

13: favorite character you wrote this year?

oogh...i LOVED writing peter's pov in you're such a heavenly view. i actually would love to write more narnia fic someday. and i also love writing in pidge's pov in quintenary stars she is LITERALLY just like me fr

14: what's one pairing you want to explore more next year?

HEITH. i'm not putting them in quintenary stars but BOY do i want to explore their dynamic. and i am also always down for more caspeter

15: how many kudos in total did you get this year?

579!!

16: which work has the most comments?

quintenary stars! which statistically makes sense to me because it's a multichapter and the others this year are oneshots. but the fic that has the most comments overall is hold onto me

17: did you do any collaborative works this year?

nothing posted on ao3, but there was a lot of collaboration going on behind the scenes! the voltron leverage au in particular is a pretty elaborate project @frigidboy and i are working on together, and he's also been my soundboard for a lot of quintenary stars stuff. I've also been collaborating with various members of The Groupchat (@dauntingday, @soleadita, @xandromedan, @moonlightperseus) on various ongoing projects and aus including but not limited to some rwby aus with day, red and 13 stuff with leo, COUNTLESS aus, ocs, and wips with mads, and some leverage stuff with abby. I've also made some zombie apocalypse ocs with @0xy--m0r0n. and there are probably more things I've collabed with people on but I FORGOR </3

18: what's your most common category?

gen and m/m !! I tend to lean more gen with just a touch of romance most of the time, but more often than not my oneshots will be more explicitly romance

19: what do you listen to while writing?

it varies, but most of the time it will be some kind of orchestral/instrumental music. I have a list of favorite compilations on youtube from hans zimmer and some other favorites that I rotate through, and I also have some playlists on spotify for when I'm not as picky. it also depends on what I'm writing at the time: if I'm writing quintenary stars, I will usually go straight to the voltron soundtrack (or other space sci fi like interstellar or gravity) just because I need a specific vibe. and if I'm writing a battle scene, sometimes I'll pull up another tab and put some space battle ambience over the music, too

20: favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oh god there are SO many favorites. but probably in the coma dream buck fic (walking out into the dark) when I used imagery to draw a connection to the Shooting Scene. like of all the literary things I've pulled over the years I think that one is hands down my favorite

"Shit's crazy here, man," Danny said as he stepped up to the sink beside Evan. "Did you know there was a sniper a few months ago? Some crazy cop was shooting firefighters out in the streets." A chill ran down Evan's spine, coldness settling in the bottom of his gut. Danny turned on the faucet. Water splashed in the bottom of the sink, flung up and out.  Droplets splattered across Evan's face. "Damn," Evan murmured, raising a shaking hand to wipe it away. "Was anyone killed?" "One was," Danny said offhandedly. "He got shot right after a call, middle of the street. Nobody even saw it coming.” Evan was shaking, all over his body. Danny just kept going, like he didn’t even notice. “His team was trapped by the sniper and by the time they got him pulled out, it was too late.” Stay there! I’m coming to you! “The news said his name was Diaz. Eddie Diaz." Evan dropped the plate he was holding. Shards of ceramic flew in every direction, pinpricks of pain prickling at his legs and bare feet. Gunshot in the street. Blood splattered on his face. Asphalt against his cheek. Are you hurt? "Evan?" Danny was looking at him, brows furrowed together. "Are you okay?" Evan swallowed, took in a shaky breath, nodded. He bent and began to gently gather the broken shards in his palm, but something made him pause. "Huh." "What?" Danny was looking at him like he was crazy. "I'm not bleeding." And he wasn't. His legs and feet were untouched; smooth, unmarred skin where only seconds before, he'd been so certain he'd felt cuts. "That's weird," Danny said, before shoving a broom in Evan's hands. "Your mess, your job. You get to finish the dishes."

overall that whole fic was just. probably some of my best work I think. I'm so proud of it fr

21: biggest surprise while writing this year?

i was NOT expecting quintenary stars to get as much engagement as it's been getting!! i feel like everyone's kinda trying to forget voltron ever existed (understandable) so i didn't think there would be much of an audience for it. but there is!!! and i love you guys!!!!!

TAGGING IF U WANNA DO THIS TOO: ppl i've already tagged above, plus @scorchedhearth, @ anyone else who wants to do it !! I'm so sorry I am totally blanking on mutuals/followers/friends who are also writers so if u see this and want to, consider urself tagged !!

[eoieopda]

this “director’s cut” is going to be longer than lacuna’s because i have more thoughts about this (+ aphelion), so feel free to venture below the cut for my unsolicited thoughts on this lacunaversary re-read ✨

[scene i]

it’s so weird to read this nearly a year after the fact:

Before you left, you said the pieces of your joint failures fell down like confetti. In reality, tying up all these loose ends felt more like cleaning up glitter. Reminders of his mistakes stuck everywhere. No matter how hard Namjoon swept, he always missed a spot. They stuck to him, catching the light. This move was your clean slate.

because i was sweeping that glitter when i wrote this, and shortly after, i did sell what was a shared house and made my clean slate move back to my home state. WOW. THE PASSAGE OF TIME.

also, this yoongi was wholly based on my irl best friend, and he ended up helping me move. hahahahah.

[scene ii]

i was initially really hesitant to write my literal self into this as a side character because it’s odd to write your own mannerisms, manner of speaking, personality from a third-person perspective ?? lol. but i ultimately found it really therapeutic to include stuff like this:

You didn’t want to say it, but you couldn’t keep it in, either: ��I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Jinseo, dropping her chin to rest on the heel of her hand, smiled with only half her mouth. She paused before admitting, “I don’t know what you’d do without me, either.”

and it was something i wanted to build up for the prequel, if i ended up writing one (which i did… more on that later).

[scene iii]

and here we have another moment where i was toying with the idea of a prequel:

Namjoon was a comet — arriving quickly and on fire, then disappearing just as fast. He was ready to stop being temporary, so long as you became permanent, too.

i wonder how much unintentional (read: i don’t know for sure yet if i’m going to bite this bullet or not) foreshadowing i would find if i went back through all of my multi-part writing, lmao.

and!!! the lacuna halmoni is back!! she’s based on this one old lady in the city i was living in at the time. she’s one of those people that always seemed to be… just, around? witnessing shit? tbh, my ex and i wondered if she was a ghost for a while because it was so fucking weird to encounter her randomly like this — always when it was embarrassing for her to see us.

this part:

For this trip, the last you’d ever make alone, he added bridal wreath. Namjoon read it somewhere recently that this plant was virtually impossible to kill once it was established. It could survive just about anything and remain beautiful despite its hardships. Like the shrub he’d clipped it from, he’d withstand everything with you.

piggybacks off something mentioned in lacuna. it's actually why i chose namjoon for this series, since i was originally going to torture yoongi with this, lmao. the bouquets/floriography was an IRL crumb i really wanted to include; and it seemed like namjoon was the one of the members who'd actually do that, know this shit, etc.

[scene iv]

if i had a dollar for every time i told myself "Because you loved him, you could do hard things," i wouldn't have student loans, fr.

aaaaaaaaah this proposal scene. deeply personal, wowie wow wow.

[scene v]

so, disclaimer: spouses don't change their names after marriage in SK. i put it in here anyway because i'm 1) delusional, and 2) i think they'd refer to each other this way as a pet name, even if they didn't legally assume matching identities. artistic license, or whatever, lol.

when you read ""All the love I have for you. I know where to put it now", i hope you picture that i had to do it to em meme because that's 100% what i looked like putting this callback in here.

idk if anyone took the time to read this explanation, but thank you to those of you that did! i'm honestly having so much fun, going back and analyzing my own shit so many months after the fact.

aphelion: director's cut will be dropping shortly!

redamancy (knj)

redamancy (n): a love returned in full

Kim Namjoon wasn't known for making wise decisions. He acted first and, on rare occasions, he asked questions later. The path he'd taken so far was left broken behind him, but the light at the end of that tunnel sure looked a hell of a lot like you.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader Type: One-Shot - sequel to lacuna Word Count: 5.5K Content: Established relationship AU; fluff but some angsty bits, i guess?; pov switches; smut (18+ - MINORS DNI) p in v pentration, shower sex, unprotected sex, multiple callbacks to lacuna, and a gratuitous cameo. A/N: Please read "lacuna" before proceeding! This is a sequel/epilogue, so the context is important. No spoilers, so my actual note will be at the end :) Listen to the playlist here! Tagging: @borahae-k @i-purple-buff-bunni @pamzn @myimaginationsrunningwild @nonbinary-demonbrat @yoongiphoria @bangtansmauyeondan @goddessjichu @ggukkiereads @dearly-somber @jihopesjoint @indgio @junsai-tree @persphonesorchid @mgthecat

Namjoon tucked his black marker into the pocket of his joggers with a sigh.

With the last box labeled, all he had to do was shove it in the corner with all his other possessions. In an instant, he could make it all the movers’ problem instead of his. He hesitated, though, and he didn’t know why.

That’s a lie, he thought, he absolutely knew why. It just felt so fucking childish to mourn a piece of real estate the way his heart seemed so inclined to. It was especially odd in his case because there were only fleeting moments where this artfully decorated apartment felt like a home; and not a museum he’d gotten locked in after failing to adhere to business hours.

There had been a lot of upheaval since he woke up in Yoongi’s guest bedroom with your bare body nestled against his. This was to be expected, after all. He’d blown up his life a year prior and just recklessly, maddeningly continued to set fire to the rubble. Now, he had to glue the pieces back together carefully.

What he broke could absolutely be rebuilt, but those cracks would still be visible, even once they were mended. The biggest of them — the nimbostratus cloud looming over that guest bedroom — was your impending flight back to Los Angeles, and the home you still had there.

Loving you was easy; it always had been. The logistics of loving you, however, had historically proven to be anything but.

Before you left, you said the pieces of your joint failures fell down like confetti. In reality, tying up all these loose ends felt more like cleaning up glitter. Reminders of his mistakes stuck everywhere. No matter how hard Namjoon swept, he always missed a spot. They stuck to him, catching the light.

This move was your clean slate.

If someone were to invade his brain now, they’d undoubtedly be alarmed by the tornado of nostalgia tearing ceaselessly through his thoughts. As it twisted, it uprooted everything and subsequently dumped it all in cardboard boxes. Namjoon was the spinning cow added for cinematic value, hanging on for dear life.

A hand clapped on his back, knocking him out of his thoughts and back into that empty bedroom.

“End of an era, eh?” Yoongi asked with his mouth still pressed to the lip of his coffee cup. He took another large gulp despite the scorching heat of its contents and he didn’t flinch.

“Yeah,” Namjoon conceded. It was a one-worded answer, but it spoke volumes. He didn’t need to look at Yoongi to see if he heard them all. The squeeze on Namjoon’s previously smacked shoulder indicated that he did.

This was where Namjoon decided that he loved you, not even four hours after meeting you. You looked at him then like no one ever had and he heard that cinematic record scratch. Then, the internal narration chimed in to give away the plot — that you were it for him.

Looking over the now-bare hardwood floor, his mind conjured you like a hologram: love-drunk in the corner, wearing his t-shirt and nothing else, serenading him with Whitney Houston’s “How Will I Know?” and using an empty soju bottle as a makeshift microphone.

He could hear it now and it gave him the same feeling he had then, like he was on an upswing and he would never come back down. He could hear himself, too, blushing red in the present at his past admission.

“I think I love you,” he’d said it so fast because it already felt like a reflex. A knee-jerk reaction that he couldn’t stop, so bat-shit and embarrassing because he’d only met you a few hours earlier.

Presently, he pictured your coy smile in that moment — the first time you’d graced him with it — and remembering your response had him warm all over.

“How sure are you? Enough to wager on it?”

“At least seventy-nine percent sure,” he’d responded immediately, which would become a habit of his, and relished in the way your eyes twinkled. So, you loved it when he’d buy into a bit — noted. He’d continued, no longer shy, “And yes, I would. All in.”

He could nearly feel the way your touch sparked against his hand once you’d skipped back and crawled over the mattress to settle in front of him. He’d prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that you’d do it again, and again, and again, running so eagerly into his arms.

“Then let’s make a deal, Joonie,” you’d smirked.

It was the first time anyone had called him that without being swiftly punched in the arm. It was the best that stupid nickname had ever sounded, coming out of your sweet mouth.

You’d tilted your head to the side and hummed with a thoughtful finger tapping at your chin, “Two years. If in two years’ time you realize that you were right — and you’re one-hundred percent sure — you’ll win a prize.”

He’d put his hand out to shake on it, but you’d swooped in with your fingers sliding through his hair. You’d kissed him instead and, against your soft lips, he’d mumbled, “Deal.”

Namjoon could’ve stood in that bedroom all day, watching the montage of you that somehow flickered against the bare white walls.

Yoongi seemed to sense this, though, and he intervened. After all, that’s precisely why Namjoon had brought him along: to keep him from getting lost on Memory Lane.

With a gentle pinch at Namjoon’s elbow, Yoongi nodded his head towards the doorway, “Movers will be here in ten. Anything left to pack?

Namjoon initially shook his head, but then he remembered. Fuck! Thank god — or whoever — for Yoongi, who stood there wide-eyed as Namjoon jerked forward and flew out the door.

He dashed to the kitchen and grabbed the only thing still there: his grandmother’s tea pot, bearing intricately painted cherry blossoms. He cradled it in his arms like a child on his way back to Yoongi, who was still standing where he was left. Still wide-eyed, too, like not enough time had passed for him to blink.

“I need you to keep track of this,” Namjoon confessed as he held out the teapot, “I know me and I know that I’ll break this if I’m the one responsible for it. Just — just don’t open it, okay?”

Without batting an eye — or heeding Namjoon’s words in any way whatsoever — Yoongi pulled off the lid and glanced inside. There was no change in his blank face, merely a tiny flex of his eyebrow that Namjoon just barely caught.

True to form, Yoongi asked no questions. His only response was, “You’re right. You would absolutely break this.”

Namjoon would’ve rolled his eyes if he wasn’t so distracted by his own pulse hammering away in his ears. “Right,” he muttered weakly.

“Ready to kiss this place goodbye?” Yoongi changed the subject after noticing how flustered Namjoon had become. He was alarmingly perceptive even when he wasn’t actively working to uncover Namjoon’s secrets.

Namjoon was — and wasn’t. He didn’t know how the fuck to feel, finishing a chapter so conclusively. In the past, all his endings had been ambiguous. They faded out, for the most part, so subtly that he didn’t notice right away.

All but one, that is.

Yoongi studied Namjoon’s face for one silent moment before landing a weightless punch on his bicep. His knuckles barely brushed him, but Namjoon felt it through his shirt, through his muscle, down to his bones. Then, without any response from Namjoon, Yoongi offered him a moment alone.

The apartment door clicked shut behind him. Though inherently quiet, it echoed loudly through the hallway and reverberated through every naked room on its way to Namjoon. As he stood there, silent and solitary, he realized how much he truly hated that sound. What it represented.

“So, is this it, then?” Your face told him that you knew the answer before you asked; but that you simply didn’t want to accept it.

He’d never seen you cry, save for the moments you laughed so hard that your eyes couldn’t contain your mirth. During sappy movies, maybe, but never because of sadness. Never because of him.

Namjoon had to stuff his hands in his pockets to keep them from reaching out to you.

He looked down at his shoes, nudged the rubber toe of one into the rug, then glanced back up at you. It was becoming increasingly impossible to look at you, but it felt so foreign not to.

He’d seen true sadness before — not from you, not until now — but your expression communicated something even deeper than that. Devastation, maybe? Whatever it was, it mingled with your mascara and spilled over your cheeks.

“I think it has to be,” his voice was thick when he replied, and it was a miracle he’d gotten the words out at all, “If you’re going to get everything you deserve in this life — everything you’ve worked so fucking hard for — I can’t be the thing that stands in your way.”

You were crying so hard that your sobs made his chest ache.

“I wanted all of it with you, Joonie, so badly,” You whimpered, then you wiped your leaking eyes on the excess sleeve clutched tight in your fingers, “I need you to know that. If we could’ve found a single way to make this work, I —“

When your voice gave up, his took over. “I know, baby,” and fuck, now he was crying too, “I would’ve lassoed the fucking moon for you if it could’ve made a difference.”

It hit him like a bullet train when you said it. As if you’d ever needed to ask.

“Can you kiss me one last time before I go?”

So, he did. Hard. And then, when you walked away, he let you.

Click.

Namjoon stayed frozen, staring into space, until he heard the movers clambering over the threshold.

You’d never seen more paperwork in your life.

Flipping through the binder, you were even more likely to stroke out than you were to get a paper cut. The sheer number of words made you dizzy; an insurmountable mountain of hangul. An avalanche, ready to overtake you.

After reading and signing for what felt like forty years, complaining all the while, you began to wonder: At what point would your brain simply give up and forget how to read as a form of protest? The thought was tempting — forgoing literacy entirely just to avoid this drawn-out task.

“I don’t understand,” you muttered, turning yet another page. You’d written your initials so many times that they stopped looking like real letters.

Maybe your brain was losing its capacity for language.

Jinseo furrowed her brows with such conviction, you could see them knit together in your peripheral vision, “I don’t know how much clearer I can make it. I’ve explained the terms to you no less than five-hundred times.”

You set down your pen and sat up to meet her exasperated eyes with a smirk, “No, not that. Your unsolicited lecture on contract law has me bar-exam ready.”

Jinseo’s mouth dropped open, always dramatic but never truly offended. You clarified, “I don’t understand why I can’t simply write smell you later on a post-it note, sign that, and be done with it.”

“Oh, I don’t mind all the time this is taking you,” Jinseo swapped out her shock for a wolfish grin, “It’s all billable, baby.”

At this, you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t contain your laughter, “Unnie, don’t I get the friends-and-family rate?”

“Friends and family don’t forget the guacamole, sweet bean,” she chided you with her fork pointed teasingly at you.

With your attention finally secured, the fork directed your eyes down to the admittedly lackluster burrito bowl you’d traded for legal advice. Oops.

“You get what acquaintances and hot, divorce-seeking strangers get.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

“Me another margarita,” she purred. With a wink, she lifted her not-yet-empty glass from the table. “And when you’re done breaking up with Big Hit, you can talk me up to the owner of your new label.”

You slumped back in your seat while feigning hesitation. Sucking a breath in through your teeth, you sighed, “Yoongi? Well, I don’t know… He’s married to his work.”

At this, Jinseo quirked an eyebrow. “Did you not hear me about the whole hot, divorce-seeking strangers thing?”

“Menace,” you giggled.

Your laughter petered out too soon and an unexpectedly heavy silence settled between you and the only friend you’d successfully kept in the whole of California. In all of the United States, really.

You didn’t want to say it, but you couldn’t keep it in, either: “I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Jinseo, dropping her chin to rest on the heel of her hand, smiled with only half her mouth. She paused before admitting, “I don’t know what you’d do without me, either.”

Your instinct was to cry, but you’d never hear the end of it if you did. Jinseo, like you, seemed to develop contact dermatitis when confronted with vulnerability and affection. Instead, your friendship was grounded in playful smacks to the arm and glances nobody but the two of you could decipher.

For this reason, you picked your pen up off the table and gestured to the page before you. “You’re sure that catch you on the flip-side, nerds, won’t hold up in court?”

“If you really want to fuck around with Bang PD, I suppose you’ll find out.” She shrugged, then she winked again.

You didn’t, for more reasons than one. The most recent of those was the grace and understanding Bang Si-Hyuk had shown you when you raised the idea of leaving his label. The heaviest of them was the simple fact that you owed him everything — your career, your success, and most of all, the family you’d found through him.

In your best friend, who you’d never have met without Si-Hyuk's help in breaking through the American market. She was your lifeboat in a lonely, intimidating sea of unfamiliar people, customs, language, and food.

In Yoongi, the illustrious Big Hit producer who collaborated with you during the wild hours you kept, no matter what time it was on his end. He was your parachute, saving you quietly and without fail, through every leap of faith. He kept you company when you left Korea — then he started a company to bring you back.

In Namjoon, whose release party changed the trajectory of your entire life. His role could never be adequately described in any words — in any language.

A lighthouse, maybe, guiding you through jagged rocks to shore.

Or a cabin in the woods that you never expected to find, but that held you warmly when the trail ahead couldn’t be found in the dark.

More simply: he was everything.

“Where’d you go just now?” Jinseo’s sudden statement made you jump. There was a muffled knock when your kneecap collided with the underside of the table.

You blinked over at her and watched as her pursed lips curved into a smile. Your instinct was to keep your sentimental nonsense to yourself — after all, this wasn’t goodbye in any way that mattered. The two of you would stay in constant contact, visiting one another at any and every possible opportunity.

Why did you always try to eulogize what wasn’t dead yet?

Again, Jinseo surprised you. “You do know how proud I am of you, right?”

She snorted at your bemused expression: wide, watery eyes sitting between raised eyebrows and a mouth that was neither closed nor fully open.

Just as quickly, she course-corrected, resuming her abnormally solemn tone. “You do hard things every damn day and you always get out of bed the next,” Jinseo continued.

Apparently, her margarita’s rim demanded more than table salt; it wanted tears, too.

“You’re brave as hell — braver than me, that’s for sure. You jump because you know you need to; and I sit on the ground because I’m too afraid of heights.” She reached across the table and gave your hand a squeeze, “And your survival rate, despite it all, is one-hundred percent.”

You wiped furiously at the tears streaking through your foundation. Everything you needed to say to her was communicated with a shared glance, like always. Your friendship was telepathic; it would endure regardless of distance.

What you said out loud earned you the belly laugh you loved so much:

“Imagine what you would’ve said if I remembered your guacamole.”

Namjoon wouldn’t normally use the word giddy to describe himself. Even at his most excited, he was able to maintain some ounce of chill — the tiniest fraction of composure, whether he truly felt composed or not.

Then again, he’d never experienced this level of exhilaration before. Not when he was signed, not when he released his first track, not even when he was nominated for a Grammy.

In a matter of minutes, your plane would land at Incheon and his whole damn world would resume its intended orbit. The tectonic plates would shift back where they belonged; and every natural disaster he’d set loose inside himself would finally — after all this time — subside.

Though he wasn’t the one who left, it felt like his homecoming, too. Even in Korea, surrounded by everyone and everything he’d always known, Namjoon’s recent existence was nomadic. He bounced between surface-level relationships and sleepwalked through events that should’ve mattered; never allowing himself to feel connected to any of it.

Namjoon was a comet — arriving quickly and on fire, then disappearing just as fast. He was ready to stop being temporary, so long as you became permanent, too.

It was that dream of roots that had Namjoon refreshing the flight-tracker once an hour for the thirteen you’d spent in the air. He watched that tiny, animated plane inch closer while your estimated time of arrival began to look more and more like the one on his watch.

When they finally matched, Namjoon slammed his hand down on the steering wheel of his parked car and shouted to no one but himself, “Yes!”

There was an old woman — why did she look so familiar? — glaring at him through his passenger window. He might’ve scared her with his sudden display, but Namjoon couldn’t find a fuck to give. He was too busy grabbing the carefully curated bouquet off the seat to his right, then clambering out of his own.

It was a confusing assortment, and not necessarily a beautiful one. Instead of a single phrase, Namjoon’s choices communicated paragraphs; combining every type of flower he’d ever given you on this very same sidewalk. If you were anyone else, you might take this eyesore and dump it immediately in the nearby trashcan — but you weren't anyone else.

The first addition was white camellias, matching the ones you received after your first flight home. Like they did back then, they confessed how much he adored you from the start. Then came pink roses because he loved you happily, softly, despite the distance.

On your third arrival home, he gave you baby’s breath. Those delicate petals commemorated the pieces of himself that went missing when you went away; all falling back into place the second he saw you again. White tulips followed, begging forgiveness for the increasing time you spent apart and how little you’d get to spend together on that fourth trip.

For this trip, the last you’d ever make alone, he added bridal wreath.

Namjoon read it somewhere recently that this plant was virtually impossible to kill once it was established. It could survive just about anything and remain beautiful despite its hardships. Like the shrub he’d clipped it from, he’d withstand everything with you.

The fondness he radiated must have summoned you because, after ten minutes of scanning the out-coming crowd, he finally saw you. There you were, shuffling on travel-weary legs, with your signature, mint-colored headphones; and your self-congratulatory boba.

Unfortunately, you didn’t see him — miraculous, given the way he was waving his arms like a fool and shouting through cupped hands to get your attention. Instead, your sleepy gaze fixated squarely on your phone.

You must’ve assumed that this arrival would be like the last one.

Before you could summon an Uber – definitely not another taxi – Namjoon dug his own phone out of his jacket pocket. He struggled to text with one hand occupied by his bouquet, so he took the easy way out.

[To: Jagi 🤫] 👋🏻

Your gasp came before he could look back up at you, but he heard it loud and clear. When his eyes found you again, he watched in slow motion as your beloved boba fell out of your hand and clattered against the sidewalk.

The sound of plastic hitting pavement was the starting whistle. Now, you were off to the races.

With shocking speed, you leapt over the spilled tea and flew towards him like your Prada backpack came equipped with rocket boosters. At that cost, anything was possible. He managed to catch you in his arms without losing a single petal.

Once he had you, he kissed you like it was the first time: shy to start, growing increasingly desperate with every passing second. With your arms linked in their rightful place around his neck and your lips so warm against his, he wondered how many times he could shout I love you without saying a word.

Panting, you eventually pulled back with lips pink and semi-swollen from the urgency of it all. You sighed if you weren’t the breath of fresh air, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Namjoon repeated with a chuckle, grinning like a fool.

Though he didn’t want to, he let you slip out of his arms to your feet. After all, he couldn’t complete your airport ritual unless your hands were free. He swallowed hard and tried his best not to blush when he held out the bouquet.

It felt like he was gifting you his whole, beating heart instead.

You froze once the flowers transferred from his hand to yours.

Immediately, his pulse began to race. If he was still holding that massive bouquet, he would’ve beat himself over the head with it. Once again, Namjoon had overthought everything and analyzed a simple task to death.

But your pupils dilated ever-so-slightly when you looked back up at him with swimming eyes. He should’ve known you’d remember. Given you long-due credit for the way you always made him feel seen.

You reached up and did what you’d only done once before — in a dark hallway, five months earlier. Your gaze followed the tip of your thumb as it swiped gently over his bottom lip, and you smiled.

“Say less, Joonie."

After picking you up from the airport, Namjoon promptly whisked you away to the apartment you’d both recently closed on. As a life-long renter, leaving town more often than staying, it was your first major purchase. It was also your first joint purchase.

The old you would’ve been terrified of killing these two, deeply committal birds with one stone; but the person you were now didn’t bat an eye. 

What was there to panic over, anyway? It felt right because it was. 

Given your exhausted state, the tour was brief. You spent it all clinging to Namjoon’s back like a jetlagged sloth in a tree, but your excitement was evident despite the mumbled voice that expressed it.

If there was any moisture left in your worn-out body, it would’ve left you in tears when you saw the combination of your respective design styles incorporated so perfectly throughout the space.

The items you’d shipped internationally arrived before you did. Namjoon seemed to know without asking exactly where you’d choose to put them. Your kitschy trinkets didn’t look stupid next to his art collection in the way you thought they would. Even more shocking was the way your eccentric, eclectic taste meshed seamlessly with his modern neutrals.  

Your home with him was a mirror, reflecting the very specific way you each provided what the other lacked. 

And he’d handled it all himself, taking the daunting task of unpacking off your plate so you could finish your chapter in Los Angeles.

Though he wasn’t physically present for the hours you spent making plans with Yoongi — or the hours you spent explaining those same plans to Bang Si-Hyuk — you felt him. He listened to every complaint and over-caffeinated rant. He gave you patience, reassurance, and equal enthusiasm in return. 

Because you loved him, you could do hard things.

You could navigate the nightmare realm that was moving internationally. You could join your friend in doing what neither of you had ever done before — creating your own label, then your own studio — while you were still stuck on the other side of an ocean. You could move back home without your tail between your legs, feeling like you’d failed to hack it alone. 

You didn’t fail. You simply realized – much later than you should have — that any path worth taking was one you walked with Namjoon. 

When the tour concluded, you fell asleep — at three o’clock in the afternoon — in his arms. When you woke up six hours later, he was still holding you. That is, until you lurched forward and spun around in a frenzy. 

“Joon!” Your exclamation was interrupted by a yawn, but that didn’t undermine the urgency. “Were you trapped under me this whole time? Oh my god, you missed dinner. Aren’t you thirsty? I’m a monster —” 

Namjoon’s entire face crinkled up under the force of his smile. His laughter twinkled in his eyes, too, and threatened to spill out. You stopped rambling mid-sentence and released your death grip on his hand so he could wipe the mirth from his cheekbone.

He was still chuckling despite the horror on your face. 

“What?” You asked incredulously, though you were starting to giggle, too. “What’s so funny?” 

The more he laughed, the more you did. It was a cycle, certainly, but far from vicious. Was this the kind of life you got to live now? One so perfect that endless laughter — caused by nothing in particular — echoed through every room? 

His hands cupped the sides of your face and guided you towards him. Still smiling, you were both catching your breath when his forehead came to rest against yours. Nose tips bumping into one another, he hummed contentedly, “You just sat alone on an airplane for thirteen hours, jagi. If I get to be your pillow for even half as long, you won’t catch me complaining.” 

You kissed him automatically; a reflex your body had acclimated to without requiring your brain to prompt it. It was brief, but you had all the time in the world to kiss him again. For now, you wanted to stare at him for as long as it took to prove to yourself that you weren’t simply dreaming. 

“Hang on,” Namjoon said suddenly. He kissed you before you could pout and then he rolled off the side of the bed. He held one finger up as he stared intently back at you, “Don’t move, okay?” 

After all that time sitting still with your body pushing against his bladder, you assumed he was headed for the adjoining bathroom. He wasn’t; he rushed right past it and disappeared out your bedroom door. You listened to his footfalls against the hallway floor until he was too far away to track.  

What on Earth was he doing? 

You sat there cross-legged in a pool of sheets for several minutes. One eyebrow raised in confusion while your gaze stayed locked on the doorway. It still managed to surprise you when he reappeared — not just because his arrival was sudden, but because he was holding his grandmother’s tea pot in his hands. 

Is that why you didn’t hear him jogging back? Because he was moving at a snail’s pace, protecting that floral-printed ceramic like his life depended on it? 

You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off with the same finger he’d pointed at you earlier. Namjoon ignored your furrowed eyebrows, crossed back to his side of the bed, and crawled back into the space he’d left behind. While your eyes darted between him and his tea pot, his never left your face. Uncharacteristically quiet, taking deep, measured breaths. 

No, really — what on Earth was he doing? 

“I can tell by that look on your face that you have no idea what the hell is happening, but hear me out, okay?”

He waited for you to nod before continuing slowly, “I overthink things. Sometimes, it ends up fine, but it usually doesn’t. I try to think before I act, then I think instead of acting — I don’t want to do that now.” 

Namjoon paused for a moment, finally glancing down at the tea pot cradled in his hands. “I asked Yoongi to hang on to this during the move because I break things. I never mean to, but for some unknown reason, all that over-thinking doesn’t make me careful. I ruin things far too easily and I hate that about myself —” 

“Joon,” you frowned. Placing a hand on his bouncing knee, you begged him to look up at you. “You don’t ruin things —”

He shook his head, stopping you from continuing. You’d never seen him look so determined. “I do, but that’s not the point I’m getting at.”

He shot you a tiny smile as if you were the one deserving reassurance. “I let you go when I didn’t want to, let this thing we built fall to pieces. The timing couldn’t have been worse, either — now I’m late cashing in.” 

“Cashing in?” Clearly, you'd lost the plot.

Namjoon laughed, “Two years. You said to give it two years and if it turned out that I was right, I’d win a prize. It’s been a little bit longer than that, but I'm one-hundred-percent sure.” 

Oh.  

You'd replayed that night over and over in your head since it happened. Really, you should’ve caught on immediately; but you thought you were the only one carrying that memory around like a torch. 

Did he really remember that conversation after all this time? Some silly, inside joke that you made after only knowing him for a few hours?

Namjoon took the lid off the teapot and set it down softly on the nightstand behind him.

“It took me too long to realize it, but it’s you — you're the prize. I don’t want to orchestrate some ridiculous, dramatic gesture because this is us. It feels exactly like it did that first night, when I took this bet in the first place.” 

His hand dipped down into the tea pot. When it re-emerged, he was holding a small box made of exquisite black leather. You started crying in the split second it took him to open it. He was blinking back tears of his own when he flipped it around to show you its contents.  

“I’m all in if you are.”

Namjoon was a lot of things, but he wasn't a quitter.

After he slid that ring on your finger, neither of you could keep your hands to yourself. Like history repeating itself, he loved every inch of you on every goddamn surface in that apartment.

In the bed he'd wake up in, next to you, for the rest of his life. On that bright yellow couch you loved so much; the kitchen counter he'd have to clean before making too big of a breakfast for you in the morning. When you christened every other room, the pair of you retired to the bathroom.

Initially, your goal upon entering the shower wasn't sex. In fact, it was to soothe your exhausted, sweat-slicked bodies before collapsing onto fresh sheets and a re-made bed. If you thought you were tired before, you'd sleep for a week now. Every part of him ached in the best way, so he'd welcome the opportunity to rest for several days at your side.

But then he smelled your shampoo — vanilla and honey — and it flipped a switch in his fucked-out brain. The warm water spilling in rivulets over your soft skin pressed the issue; and so did that diamond sparkling up at him through the steam.

He didn't follow you in here to fuck you, but he'd be remiss if he let the moment slip down the drain with the suds.

Experimentally, he pushed your hair away from the back of your neck and brought his lips to the space he'd cleared. Watching your slow inhale, he lingered there for a moment to gauge your reaction. Your head tilted slightly to the side; he considered it an invitation. In lieu of an RSVP, he sent his tongue in a short, languid line.

The moan he coaxed out of you was quiet, but despite the falling water, it reverberated across the glass walls and tile. You followed up with a sigh, leaning your head back against his chest as his mouth moved to claim the side of your neck.

"Shit," you keened with your eyes closed, "We're never leaving the house again, are we?"

Namjoon hummed as he flicked his tongue over your earlobe, "Outlook not so good."

As expected, you caught his reference immediately. You wobbled as you laughed; his arms snaked around the curves of your waist to satiate his need for closeness and his desire to keep you upright. "Mr. Kim, certified genius, is now citing the Magic 8 ball?"

"It's the poet laureate of our generation, Mrs. Kim."

Even if you didn't whimper at the utterance of your future name, Namjoon still would've repeated it over and over again. A mantra, an invocation manifesting a long life in which you matched. So, he did say it again, whispering it into your flesh as his hands slid up your torso.

Mrs. Kim, Mrs. Kim, Mrs. Kim.

Given what they'd been through over the past several hours, he treated your nipples with the utmost care and reverence. Sensitive thing that you were, even his feather-light touch had you mewling. Fuck, he loved that sound.

"Baby?" Your voice was barely distinguishable from an exhale, but that perfect softness hit him hard, "Please."

Your wish was, is, and always would be his command.

Namjoon worried about your trembling legs, so he chose the first solution that came to mind: he turned you gently around, kissed you deep, and lifted you off your feet. As always, you molded so easily against his body. You legs wrapped around him in tandem with your arms.

Carefully, he rested your back against the stone wall and adjusted his grip so that his arms slotted under your thighs. “This okay, Mrs. Kim?" He asked.

Your answer came in the form of your hand dipping down and guiding the tip of his cock to your entrance. He followed your lead, leaving both of you to moan when he entered you.

Like a glove, you enveloped him completely. He'd never believe that you weren't destined to fit together like this. Out of every person, in every timeline, he was the lucky bastard meant for you.

Unlike the previous rounds, this was slow. Deliberate, not underscored by some carnal desire or desperate need to reclaim lost moments. He took his time grinding himself into your unimaginable warmth because he now had it in spades. Namjoon refused to let a second pass without cherishing it fully first.

Your head dipped back against the cool stone, allowing you to tilt your jaw upward. Placing a kiss at the column of your throat, he pushed himself deeper into you.

Breathy moans thanked him wordlessly for his fluency in your body's language. Namjoon had studied religiously to learn your unspoken cues, so your raised eyebrows and closed lids foretold your orgasm before your velvet walls clenched around him.

"Fuck, Joon," you cried out as you shook in his arms.

Your little whimpers lured him to the edge; your tightened grip on his shoulder pulled him off behind you. As he spilled himself inside of you, he screwed his eyes shut and nestled his face into the crook of your neck to muffle his chest-deep groan.

After several moments of silence, you shifted. He rolled his neck to move his head further down your shoulder. From this vantage point, he gazed up at you — the only thing worth looking at, all he ever wanted, the one he got to keep for good.

With a kiss left at his temple, you murmured, "I'm glad you took it back."

"What?" He asked quietly, searching your flushed, smiling face for answers.

"All the love I have for you. I know where to put it now."

A/N: aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH IT'S FINALLY HERE! i cried like a bitch baby when i was writing this - even more so when i finished writing this (aka now) - because this lil series takes up my whole heart. i buried so much of myself in lacuna, so this was my attempt to plant flowers in the achy bits, lol. i left lots of easter eggs, so i'd love to know what you find! also, yes, i did write my damn self into this one. hahahah. lacuna was largely autobiographical (except the namjoon part, obvi) so it felt right to fictionalize myself as the person saying what i would've wanted to hear back then.

i'd love to know your thoughts, so please please please let me know either by replying, reblogging, PMing me, or dropping a line in the ask box.

[astrologista]

i hate to say it but all bruce does these days is whineeeee. which i feel like is antithetical to how i understand him as a character. like yes, he broods and he does obsess, but he doesn’t really whine unless some of the time if only alfred is there to witness it lol.

like, fr. i haven’t really been keeping up with comics, so maybe i’m off base with some of this, but here’s what it looks like from the outside

bruce’s relationship with dick is under-served or just basically ignored, when they do bring it out, it’s only for very quick angst fuel then right back to business like they don’t know each other at all

bruce accepting jason back into the family was rushed and handled by sub-par writing which didn’t support the emotional gravitas that said reunification should have involved. i’ve seen a lot of fics that did it way better than what they did. it feels shoe-horned. also, why is bruce tacitly rubber-stamping jason as batman-affiliated when he’s still using GUNS? like WHAT. how does that make any sense. do bruce’s emotional boundaries matter at all? does everything have to be jason’s way or the highway? bruce is notoriously stubborn. much as he loves jason, i can’t see him letting that slide IF this were to work. DON’T SKIP OVER THE IMPORTANT CHARACTER WORK. like, set up the foundations and then build on top of that. don’t just jump to the payoff and try to walk things back as you go! it’s lazy and shows where editorial mandate stymied good storytelling. and there are way more issues with it that i have than just that. of course i love to see bruce and jason caring about each other and getting along as much as the next fan but the way they chose to go about it raises SO many questions

tim who?

no tim has been flanderized so fucking bad. actually he’s been transformed more into the fandom-lite version of himself, which i do kind of hate. oh yeah, he’s with bernard now. WHOOP TEE DOO! the fans have been clamoring for that pairing for years i’m sure.

there have been an assortment of good-to-middling damian comics since the 2010s as at least some writers seem vaguely interested in that dynamic with bruce but for every 2 mildly tolerable issues they drop one that’s got fucking jack shit bonkers writing in it and relies on only the most tired of “U LIED TO ME” tropes. nothing will compare to the tomasi 2011 batman and robin run and that was like the single decent output of the new 52 and the best thing dc has released in years. i’m right

among the newer characters they’ve released, it’s sad that they never really seem to... stick? PLEASE INVEST IN SOMEONE. more duke! more harper! more LITERALLY ANYONE!

bring the fun back to comics. where’s the storytelling. decide whether you want to create a new shitty joker and/or riddler iteration, or a new army of jokers and/or riddlers and/or scarecrows. or just create a new poo poo shitty villain of the week who will age like milk. why not have one based on social media. that’s a new one that i’m sure no one will ever see coming.

STOP SOFT REBOOTING EVERY ISSUE. we know, you’re going to start the next new groundbreaking run, take everything back to basics so nobody is confused, bring on the new readers with this cool new jumping on point, simple just batman alfred and the joker with juuuust enough of a new “modern” twist to it to differentiate it from the thousands of other times you did this. great job dc. doing great. when you’re done with that let’s do another mass cataclysm event across 20 books. im sure people will want to collect all those variant covers.

and i love how there are SO many fics that do it so, so, so much better. jesus fuck. and fic writers aren’t even being PAID! we’re not even being PAID!!

so, yeah, i’m kind of done with comics for time being. i’ve been dabbling in anime and games again, getting back to roots, but so far, it’s mainly been independent web content free of advertisers, executives, editorial and other bullshit that’s caught my fancy lately. the artistic freedom is really needed to tell a good story now. the multiverse / soft reboot / re-configure the universe every year bullshit that marvel popularized has infiltrated, like, everything, as well as the netflix model of “let’s cancel immediately after season 1”. there is no buildup. there is no excitement. there is no story. mba’s and boardrooms do not understand “story”. they don’t know what creativity is. they know what numbers, profits, engagement look like, and they are optimizing for that curve. i do not know why they are shocked when that curve sinks lower and lower every year. i just simply do not understand.

im so mad. kevin conroy’s dead and we’ll never get something like b:tas ever again. media has been my life since i was a baby. so i have to find some kind of stories to try to enjoy even if i have to eke it out in the margins of society lol

[nyashykyunnie]

Sung Jinwoo x Bubbly Reader

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

・┆✦ Entry : 012 ✦ ┆・

﹢　˖    　✦      ¸ .　﹢　 ° 　¸.    ° ˖ ･ ·̩　　 ｡　☆.     　﹢　˖    　✦      ¸ .

He is whipped. Thats it. Really./j

Your smile, your giggle, that wide grin along with your twinkling eyes that shines whenever you are joyous— He is weak to it all.

Jinwoo will do everything he can in order to protect and cherish that beautiful smile of yours

How are you this precious really? But either way, he wants you to be that joyous all the time.

He adores your sunshine personality, he loves it so much that even the thought of you while he does his work makes him grin stupidly. Look, Jinwoo is really whipped okay?

There’s no such thing as someone who is completely pure and without a taint of “Those Human Emotions”. He knows that, but when it’s you he forgets that. 

Please smile, please do so.

You dont know how much a single grin from you can relieve him of his burden as the world’s strongest hunter and as the shadow monarch. There is pressure in his shoulders even if he looks so casual and nonchalant most of the time. 

Even with just a short glance, he feels as if it is the gentle breeze of morning spring. 

Jinwoo will treat you so preciously. 

No matter how overly hyper you can get, no matter how fixated you can get and how wild you wave you hands around— Or or even shake and pace around!

He will gaze at you with a pair eyes that are just full of love. 

He can’t help it fr. Your energy can melt a thousand old year frozen lake and blossom it into a beautiful scenery of fresh spring. 

Yes, a lot of emphasis on spring.

What is it that you want? Do you love talking about sea animals? He’ll take you to the aquarium or if time is in favor he will take you out on a date to the open seas and fly around atop Kaisel. Do you love books? He will always pass by the bookstore to grab you books, he’s even  asking the cashiers for reccomendations. He would also be taking notes of genres you like and take a long time to pick just so he can make sure you will love that book. Oh, right, he will also be buying the limited edition versions of those books. Do you love to dress up? Wanna go shopping with him when he’s free? He’ll love it no matter what kind of aesthetic you love. Dark academia, streetwear, light academia, cottagore, lolita— Whatever it may be! Do you love art? What medium do you use? He’ll gift you those art materials in a cute boquet. Of course, he makes sure those art materials are safe for you to use! Unless of course you are a digital artist, no problem! He’ll buy you a huge pen tablet or maybe a 12.9 inch ipad. Who’s he kidding? He buys both!

Hm? What’s that? He’s speding too much? Heaven’s no! He has the money and therefore will put it to good use! And part of the good use is spoiling you to bits!

Okay, okay, materialisticness aside— Jinwoo loves to indulge in your warmth. The love that you spread with your presence, that precious sunlight you give out— He really...Really loves it. 

He isn’t a man of words. So he compensates by soft and romantic touches.

Jinwoo holds you gently but also firm enough to have you know that you are in his arms. He actually get’s scared sometimes, he fears that he might accidentally squeeze tight that he’ll crush your bones. Your existence— No matter the height difference between the both of you; He feels as though you are a tiny snowflake that will melt away because of his touch.

Because of the darkness that he embodies.

“How strong do you think I can get?” “You shadow is connected to the darkness. You will become as strong as your shadow’s depth in the dark.”

And we all know that depth is eternal.

He doesnt want to harm you in any way. If anything, he wants to use his capabilities to keep you and his family safe.

You? You’re so precious to him.

Words and actions cannot suffice.

He thinks he’s bad with both but for real, what he does is bayond the bare minimum.

A/N: I might fully come back to tumblr doing both artworks and headcanons<3

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧･ﾟ: ~♡ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[stupidgtblog]

Uh seeing this from a super rad writer who I don’t really personally read but I see A LOT of in the g/t space was like a FNAF 2 Jumpscare at full volume so I am going to run my mouth about it.

It was kind of the opposite for me (was an artist, not a writer) and I was BAD! BAD!

I had g/t ocs since I was a little teeny baby. It took me years before I ever found a community for this and thought I was a little weirdo. I couldn’t draw for shit (not saying I’m like an art god now or anything, but improving) and couldn’t write for anything, either.

I was pretty much addicted to genai for a frighteningly long period of time. Before c.ai came out I maxed like two ChatGPT conversations OUT (yes, reached the limit, TWICE!) and didn’t get any sleep I was on it every weekend. When c.ai came out (became popular on the accursed app I no longer use)? Ohh I was COOKED! I have like 5 “characters” just sitting in virtual stillness forever. Like I was bad. It never got to that scary evil parasocial point. c.ai company has so much of my personal data anddd I have to live with that.

I wasn’t so much for the images bc I’ve always had a visceral reaction to like ai patterns (like ai’s weird swirls and shapes make my skin crawl idk why it’s physically uncomfortable for me not joking.) but like I recall trying it out couple of times.

If we are being fr, the ethics of scraping (no matter how fucked up it is to mine and others standpoint) is a matter of opinion, how you define theft, and your personal ethos and morals. Some people feel like if you still literally have the file or paper or canvas it’s not theft. Others feel like even reposting with credit without express personal permission is theft. You can debate about it forever. Womp womp.

What is NOT a matter of personal opinion is the environmental impact of Generative AI.

A generated image of your character is not worth a fucking energy crisis. The knowledge my shit AI fic garbage used the thing that used 6% of ALL of West Des Moines water and is eating up enough energy to power 33,000 homes in the baby fetal state that it’s in is terrifying!

1,000 images in Stable Diffusion being the equivalent of driving a vroom vroom car 4 miles is not good. And it won’t ever be worth it.

Especially with this being because you just do not draw? You say you cannot afford to hire an artist and don’t say you physically can’t draw yourself, so it just looks like you just “don’t.”

The joy of creation is better than sliced bread, pop rocks, and water. Like so cliche but I implore you to start somewhere. You clearly want to create good authentic art of your characters. The desire to write and draw your ocs is like universal I believe. Why deny yourself? It’s “bad”? Who cares. This especially kinda confuses me because you write. Like, good. And a lot. Was your writing always to your liking? Probably not. If AI had became available then, would you rather had started just generating stories than progressing, learning techniques, vocabulary, and just becoming a better writer? I know disparity between one skill and another skill is frustrating (my traditional art being better in my eyes than my digital art is one thing) but

I really do encourage you to try!

Free software I used for a long time:

Mobile: Ibis Paint X

Desktop: Krita (which you can animate on)

Mouse art is fine and can actually become really great with practice, but if you want a tablet

My first drawing tablet was a $19.99 toast of a thing which was the size of my hand and on sale. And I loved it and still have it around somewhere.

You can even rent them at some libraries. Rad!

Now in the case you do not like drawing, just don’t care for it like genuinely (not the product of drawing, but like the actual motion of using your hands if it pains you or you do not have the dexterity capability to create a line)

Picrew! Picrew is free af and is so expansive and great, especially for ocs. It’s a website so buttons can be made big by zooming in. (Sadly limited for people of color like most of my ocs, but they are STILL THERE just harder to find.) There are also a lot of “dress up” apps for free on phone that I used for a while, but they may be overly “cutesy” for a lot of people.

Narrans ur a rad writer. I want to write great fics like you one day. But pls reconsider? Thanks if you read this.

K bye good morning/night

I don’t expect you to answer this question publicly, but I am thoroughly disappointed that you’ve chosen to continue the use of AI art when the artists around you have begged you not to and explained in detail why it’s harmful. I truly hope you realize how much you’re hurting artists by using it and not only apologize, but delete every speck of AI art on your page. Good day.

You don't expect me to answer to answer publicly? At least I am willing to put my name on my stance "Anonymous."

To you, I say you are a coward for not addressing this to me in a way where we can have a conversation about it.

Do you know why I play around with AI generated images? Because sometimes I struggle to make rent. I struggle to obtain groceries on some days. Would you like screen shots of my bank account balance? Do you want me to beg for art for free to others who are struggling just as much as me?

No. It is not fair to the artist to ask them to spend their time making something for me for free and you are not being fair to me because you're not taking my situation under consideration.

I cannot afford to hire an artist for every idea that pops into my head that I want an image for. For things that matter, like my book covers, I have to carefully budget and pay someone to illustrate an image.

I celebrate artists and admire each and every work on every platform I am on. Every piece of fan art I have received or seen I make sure to complement and admire because that is true talent. Artists should be admired and compensated fairly, and I cannot do that on a whim.

You are out here trolling and belittling someone who merely wanted to share an idea and who can't afford to hire an artist to do so on a daily basis. If I had the finances, I would have a team of artists on call to sketch every idea that popped into my head.

But I don't...

Also, if you have a problem with me and my methods, have the courage to post under something other than "Anonymous" where we can have a discussion about options.

I do not wish you ill and do hope that you have a good day, but I ask that you consider your apparent privileged position to either create art to your heart's delight or to pay someone to do it for you because I have neither.

Cheers and, as always, stay awesome! ~Narrans

[dexabite]

because i'm bored: here's what i think about the characters of ride the cyclone!

ocean o'connell rosenberg:

definitely was a huge snob. in my language, we call those kind of people "maldita" HAHAHAH

she sounds so much like a high school bully that it's hilarious... but also, i feel like she was bullied in elem and was consequently also mean in highschool? idk she gives me that energy

DEFINITELY the kind of person to love legally blonde and mean girls and just projected it onto her persona LMAOO

though she's probably really very much a big softie once she developed at the end of the musical, but still hides it behind her bitchy and rude exterior

she looks like she would take someone's phone and squint whenever someone shows her a meme, like the way a mother would

noel gruber:

mean gay. that's it.

it's canon that whenever he's nervous or uncomfortable, he picks on his nail polish! and i love that! he's just like me fr!

i think the thing he really wanted was just a life outside of his simple one when he was alive... and i think monique gibeau was his drag persona

that said: NOEL DRAG QUEEN AAHHHH

feels like he would be more reserved because he's trying to look normal because of his mom yk, so he probably didn't have many friends outside of the choir (who weren't very close to begin with, judging from the way they talk in the beginning of the musical)

but besides that, he wants to be FLAMBOYANT and FEMININE and i love him

mischa bachinski:

iconic. stole boxes of communion wine for his eight year old cousin because of birthday. im in love with him.

sorry to noel, but he's the REAL most romantic boy in town. nothing compares to the way he sings about talia as if he couldn't live without her. get yourself a man like mischa.

probably loves ridiculous memes. would laugh at them for so long and show everyone in the choir

i think he doesn't actually watch horror movies but watches analysis videos on youtube about them like i do.

when he actually watches horror movies, he squirms around and does all of these weird movements and noises to cope with the fear 😭 not outright scream though, he's too emasculated /j

ricky potts:

he is an oc writer just like me. i love him for that.

was most likely into warrior cats as a kid, obviously marvel comics and star trek too. no way he wasn't.

he mooost likely didn't want to be in the choir in the first place but ocean forced him in it, based off his reaction to ocean trying to get people to like her again after singing about social darwinism 😭

that said, he's just like me fr... using escapism as a coping mechanism for his lonelines... i love you ricky and and your sexy cat ladies from zolar

and actually, i think he's one of the most underrated characters apart from constance which is such a SHAME...

he's so nerdy and JUST LIKE ME FR!!!

i think that before his hands degenerated, he was an artist. not a good one, but enough for people to recognize it!

jane doe:

CREEPYPASTA ENJOYER I CAN SMELL IT OFF OF HER.

creepy... i love her...

and i think that she's really good at crocheting, to add onto the whole doll aesthetic. makes tiny sweaters for ricky's cats, probably made a phone case for constance made out of wool... no matter how inconvenient it was

i think that noel would've painted her nails black too because she deserves it!!!

anyway, her and ricky are the "the bad bitch i got thanks to my autism" meme definitely. going both ways

anyway her actor's voice always sounds like an opera singers it's so impressive! that's why i believe that she can actually sing opera if they ask her to

definitely knows obscure facts about medieval torture and lions... just because!

FOORNICATION UNDER CONSENT OF THE KING!!!!

constance blackwood:

HER SONGS MAKE ME FEEL SO MANY THINGS IT'S CRAZY

the unique lesson of "there's no shame in loving my small town" ...my god you never hear that in musicals EVER

it's always "GET ME OUT OF HERE PLEASE!!!!" not the lesson that's in sugar cloud

that said, god... the fact that she doesn't like being called nice because it means that no one truly got close enough to her to know her for her goofiness... her weird thoughts, and her silly mannerisms and she had no one to vent to </3

hell, even her so called BEST FRIEND is mean to her!!!

but i feel like they'd still be close, despite that yk? best friends always stick together and as ocean develops more i think that they'd get closer until they're literally the only two who knows the other better than themselves

OH and i think that constance would've loved writing fanfic... she just has that kinda energy yk? she and noel would bond over writing and they'd talk about what they write and constance would hesitate because she doesn't want to admit that she writes gay fanfiction on ao3 😭🙏

[cinefairy]

I want to talk about instant manifestation and intention !

at the beginning of the week, there was a kpop group concert in France. (LOONA !!! stan them <3)

I bought pit tickets, and to be front row you “had to” camp really early [5 AM 😐 be fr] and get a number btw 1 and 200. <how to spot limiting beliefs : they look stupid>

I never gaf about any of those rules and arrived at the venue at 5 PM (the concert started at 7:30). I just came in with the intention that I was going to be front row w/o any effort and knew that this was the only issue for me, no matter what.

During the concert, I was a bit in the middle but could still see very well (I’m tall !!) and I kept thinking “I’m going to be front row” but not like an obsession and not like “omg why am I not front row NOW” ; but like it was an evidence. Even before, I kept announcing it to everyone and my friends were like “but how ? when there is —limiting belief— and —circumstances that do not matter— ??” I never wavered from the state of mind that I was gonna be front row.

And guess what happened ? an event (someone fainted, we had to make them seek assistance!! dw they’re much better now) made me go from the middle to the front, and I spent the rest of the concert with the moon girls right in front of me !

plus, that’s not it.

right after the concert, there were a meet & greet + picture event. Remember, I only paid for the pit, I did not take a VIP ticket and all that jazz. But, right when the organizers where closing the doors of the venue to keep those who paid for it inside, one of the doors stayed open and I was able to recognize an opportunity. So I had two choices : go see my fav artists or stay outside and let my chance pass.

guess what I choose.

and immediately after I choose to go to the m&g, w/o even worrying about the how, it just happened :

originally, I went inside to pee (true story, my ladder was abt to pass away)

then, while coming out the toilet I saw a friend of mine with their group so I stayed with them

(the enitre venue was CLOSEDT I had literally no way out anyways)

the staff started giving away masks & gloves in preparation for the m&g

I didn’t have the wristband and all, but they didn’t check it when the line moved and when we arrived in front of the moon girls SO

I got to shake hands with LOONA (😭😭😭) AND take a picture with them (AAAAAH I still can’t believe it) w/o having to pay a single dime or have a single VIP ticket.

and what really seals it all for me is :

at the end, the staff distributed photocards and a signed sumn sumn that I didn’t really want

I tried to get one tho bc why not (stream why not by loona lets pump it up)

and because I didn’t truly want it, I did not receive it, even by “forcing it” (I tried to make it seem like I “lost my wristband” that I never had in the first place ; and it was not cutting it for the staff so they just dismissed me)

conclusion /

You are responsible for everything manifesting in your life : the good, the bad and the indifferent. With just one decision, + the acceptance of this decision as a fact for you ; and the deal is set. You don’t need to do anything else. Nothing and no one can get in btw you and your manifestation.

This is further proof that manifestation is instant and that the 4D is the only reality. It takes one single decision in your mind, for it to materialize and for the Universe to bend over backward to make it true for you. The 3D is NAWT your enemy, it is part of YOU (4D = 3D) 😭 I swear manifesting is easy, it’s natural, it’s simple, it’s a lifestyle, it’s part of yourself.

I really want y’all to realize you are already everything you desire to be and manifesting is as simple as thinking “I want something. woop ! thank you [Universe/God/wtv] for giving it to me <3”

you can live in your desired reality constantly and it is not burdensome ! it’s easy and funny I swear ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

YESSSS I LOVE LOONA AND IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

[gamerbearmira]

I ha e to do activities but I just woke up and I have time to make a lil Cryptic Duo snippet

--------------------------

The echoes and stones are lovely, aren't they?

'Date; March 6th, 1951. It's Mirabel's 6th birthday, but no one, not even her parents remembered. Oh, what a shame, guess she's with me now.' Dolores thought in her head.

"Dolly! Dolly! Look at that dress, isn't it pretty?" Mirabel pointed to a red dress with gold accents and bows, the waist having butterflies on them. "Yes Mira, it is pretty. Do you want it?" "*gasp*Do I?!? Yes! Can we get it?" Dolores chuckled softly to Mirabel's excitement.

"Yes, we can." but then a snarky and irritating voice came around "Uh uh, that dress looks way too good to be worn by a worthless kid like you." the voice came from one of Isabela's plastic "friends". Dolores quickly whipped her head to face her with her iconic stare and tilted her head a bit too far to look like it was broken.

"What did you say? How are you able to say that when you are below Mirabel? In fact, you're below all of the Madrigals, you said she's worthless? You yourself are worthless as well, you don't have a gift, you are failing in academics, your beauty is an average, and you don't have any artistic hobbies. The only great feat you have is that you're friends with Isabela. And you think the dress wouldn't suit her? Then go back to your house and realise that you have more flaws. " Dolores sneered. Mirabel was tearing up a bit, "Dolly, can we just get the dress and go home? The sun is already setting."

"Oh sure darling, anything you want." After they bought the dress and the girl went running, they walked home, well, Dolores did. Mirabel got really sleepy.

Dolores put her in her own bed, it's her birthday, she shouldn't sleep in a nursery bed. Now, she need to get rid of the pest.

----------------------------

It was midnight, the girl woke up in a cave, the only source of light was a candle in front of her.

"Wh-What? Where am I?!?!" the girl screamed. "You're in your nightmare, sweetheart." Dolores then came behind her, she was tied up to a chair very tightly, if she moved too much her skin would get raw.

"Why am I here you phsyco?!" she yelled, "Oh, this is your punishment for making Mirabel sad on her God forsaken birthday. Everything was good until you showed up. Now, you have to pay." Dolores then disappeared into the dark.

The girl was terrified, what was she going to do? Torture her? Take her limbs? Drain her blood? Cut her hair and beat her?? WHAT???

But then, voices came. It was voices of dissapointment. Dolores knew the girl's worst fear, being drowned in a circle of dissapointment. So, she went around and recorded people's voices, it didn't matter who they were, it would be the same effect.

As Dolores finished up setting the recorders, she then left the girl to endlessly cry.

-----------------------

WHOO okay, that's long mk I needa get outta bed. Also Splatoon is slowly taking half of my body into the Splatoon fandom hole even though I don't have a Nintendo.

Dolores did not let that slide huh 💀💀 but I’m glad she stood up for Mirabel, that is so cash money <33 Fr found out that girls worst fears and stuck her in a cave with it. Gah dayum 😭😭