wrenoms

[wrenoms]

let not light see my black and deep desires

[wrenoms]

greetings from. oil painting on paper

[wrenoms]

You forget everything.

[wrenoms]

What did I dream about last night? Why do I feel like I’ve forgotten something terribly important…

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callout post for alters who are hard to call to front and who you’re haven’t heard from in a while. i miss you idiots. get back here.

[wrenoms]

Leonid Pasternak  (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

[wrenoms]

[wrenoms]

“Untitled“ by | Gunnar Freyr

[wrenoms]

gilbert williams

[wrenoms]

On Unconditional Love (cw: vent about a messy falling out)

LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY MEANS LOVING WITH NO EXPECTATION OF RECOGNITION OR REWARD. If you are gonna walk away from an act of kindness grumbling about how you got nothing out of it, you are not loving unconditionally! The obvious issue here is where the line for unconditional love and self respect is. Finding the balance between holding firm on boundaries and loving unconditionally is a skill, and not an easy one, but HOW you set your boundaries is a good starting place.

for example, and definitely not based on anything I've been through:

You feel like your friend isn't respecting you, and is using and abusing your good nature. Holding unconditional love for them: You are seeing their perspective and considering why they may be acting this way. Maybe you conclude that they are mentally ill and struggling- you decide that you can't take their treatment anymore, but you also know that providing a safe space for them to grow and learn may help the behavior you don't like start to go away. So you express how you feel and what you need in a kind and loving way, you state that you have to pull away for your own mental health until they can stabilize a bit more, but you love them lots and wish them well, and maybe you decide to check in in a few weeks. What you don't do: Sit them down and lay into them for 25 minutes about how they are selfish, horrible, manipulative, liars. How they are scum of the earth and that you hate being near them with so much hate and vitriolic poison dripping from every word with no option for them to defend themself without you assuming they are lying the whole time. It's not assuming the worst in people. THAT IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. WHAT HAPPENED TO KINDNESS IS ALWAYS AN OPTION? What did we do? The best we fucking could with what you gave us-which was nothing.

Unconditional love is knowing that if you ever needed to escape Texas and, for whatever reason, we were who you had to call on for help, we would be there for you in a heartbeat. Not because we owe you anything, but because we care about you still. Unconditional love is that, though this falling out was traumatic for both parties, I hold space for you and I think about you all the time and hope you are healing and growing the way you deserve to.

Conditional love is knowing that you would rather see us suffering. Conditional love is gloating online about putting my partner through hell on the day of their CSA anniversary by inviting their child alter out for cartoons KNOWING their ex was about to come over and lay into them. THOSE KIDS FUCKING TRUSTED YOU AND YOU SPIT IN THEIR FACES!! Did it feel good to watch? Or were you told afterward not to worry, cus they deserved it?

It is not you that I hate. I am angry believe me. But I know you were struggling, fragile, and unstable at the time and only operating out of survival and panic- like a scared dog biting. I think you are as much a victim in this as we are, but not for the reason you think. I wasn't the only one who noticed how vulnerable you were, only she had a vendetta, and she operates from hate and revenge. They saw you looking for someone to blame for how you felt and decided to give you target. I don't hate you. I hate that a scorpion stung you and filled you with such hateful venom. I hate that she used your instability for their own war. I hate that they cost you your friends who operate from love. I hate that you will probably never understand who the true abuser is in this and how they still have their stinger in you. I hate that you will read this and see only my frustration and not my love for you and desires for you to grow and succeed. This post is pointless and will do nothing for me or you.

There are many things I want to say to you but I will conclude with: I hope life is kind to you and those you love. I hope you find a peaceful existence where you and your partner can live comfortably and happily. I hope you get to do what you love for the rest of your life. I will hurt for a long time, and all I can do is hope that you don't. I hope you see this post and remember that you deserve to be loved. This is an example of unconditional love.

[wrenoms]

doppelgänger

[wrenoms]

I love taking off my glasses while I’m studying and rubbing my eyes and then looking into the distance like a tortured academic

[wrenoms]

I have responsibilities like self torment and isolation

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[wrenoms]

what i do is none of my business

[wrenoms]

[from twitter]

[wrenoms]