#fourth wing Bodhi

[soulofapatrick]

Between Battles and Breaths - Bodhi Durran x female reader 

Summary: You can’t sleep, terrified of your enemy you’re facing tomorrow in the challenges and you find yourself seeking comfort in Bodhi 

Warnings: None 

Words: 2.6k

Y/N's POV

I can't sleep. The thought of who I’m up against in tomorrow's challenges has kept my mind racing for hours, churning over every possible scenario. My nerves are a live wire, and the gnawing certainty that this is one I’m not going to win gnashes at me. The others are better, faster, more experienced—and me? I’m just trying to make it through each day without making a fool of myself.

My feet drag across the floor as I pace, the creak of the wooden boards below me a repetitive comfort in the stillness of the night. I know I’ve practically worn a path into the carpet by now, walking the same few steps over and over, but it’s better than lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the panic to consume me. With a huff, I finally stop and run a hand through my hair, frustrated.

I can’t do this. Not like this.

Before I can think twice, I grab my flight leathers, pulling them on with shaking hands. It’s reckless, stupid even, to sneak out so close to curfew, but if I stay in this room for one more second, I’ll go mad. The air feels thick, suffocating, and I need to breathe.

The dormitory halls are quiet as I slip out of my room on the first year’s floor, the faint hum of the academy settling for the night, a reminder that I should be too. But instead of heading outside like I’d planned, something draws me upwards, my feet carrying me to the second-year floor before I’ve even realised what I’m doing.

I hesitate at the top of the stairs, wondering what exactly led me here. I’m not even sure how or why I ended up in front of his door—Bodhi Durran’s door. But I stop there, my hand hovering over the handle. The smart thing would be to turn back. He’s the last person I should be bothering right now, with my nerves as raw as they are, but there’s a pull in my chest that won’t let me leave.

Through the narrow gap in the door, I catch a glimpse of him.

Bodhi lies there, his chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths. The dim light from the window barely touches his face, but it’s enough to see the peaceful, almost boyish look that settles over him in sleep. His sharp features, usually so intense, are softened in this moment of calm. Tousled dark hair falls across his forehead, and there’s something about the way his brow is relaxed, the usual storminess in his expression completely at ease, that makes him look younger than usual, more vulnerable.

I should go, I think, taking a step back, but the thought sticks in my throat when he stirs. The slight rustle of the sheets is enough to send my heart skittering, and before I can react, Bodhi’s eyes flutter open, dark and still heavy with sleep.

He squints at me through the dim light, confusion crossing his face as his gaze lands on me standing hesitantly in the doorway. For a second, I don’t think he’s going to say anything at all, and I wonder if I should just leave before he fully wakes up.

But then his voice, rough and gravelly from sleep, cuts through the silence. “What are you doing here?” His tone is low, hoarse, and it sends a shiver down my spine. It’s not accusatory or irritated, just… curious, like he can’t quite believe I’m standing there.

And in this moment, neither can I.

His dark eyes take in my appearance, sweeping over me with a sharpness that leaves me feeling exposed, bare. A crease forms between his brows as he pushes the blankets aside and sits up, the confusion shifting into something else, something that makes my heart beat even faster. Without a word, Bodhi swings his legs over the edge of the bed, the sheets rustling as they fall away, revealing his body—lean and muscular, his chest broad and defined. He’s only wearing boxers, and it takes everything in me not to let my eyes linger on the way his muscles shift under his skin with each step as he moves toward me.

I feel breathless, like the air has been sucked out of the room, replaced with a thick tension that presses against my chest. My throat tightens with nerves, and I force myself to breathe, but it’s hard to focus when he’s so close, when the sight of him leaves my thoughts scattered, my body anxious in all the right ways.

Bodhi stops in front of me, his presence overwhelming, his gaze dark and steady. For a moment, neither of us says anything, and the silence between us feels charged, like the crackle of a storm about to break. Then, slowly, his hand reaches for mine.

The moment his fingers wrap around mine, it feels like I’ve been set on fire. His hand is large and calloused, rough from training and fighting, yet somehow warm and steady. My pulse quickens at the simple touch, the anxiety in my chest twisting into something deeper, more intense. His thumb grazes the back of my hand, sending a shiver racing up my spine, and I bite my lip to keep from gasping aloud.

“Come on,” he murmurs, voice still thick from sleep, tugging me gently into his room. The door closes softly behind me, the click of the latch echoing in the quiet space. His room is dimly lit, the moonlight slipping through the curtains casting long shadows across the floor. It’s sparse, with only a few personal touches—a pile of worn books on the bedside table, his boots kicked off haphazardly near the window—but it feels so undeniably him. Practical. Focused. Just like Bodhi.

He leads me toward his bed, his hand still holding mine, and the closer I get, the more overwhelmed I feel. The air between us is thick with unspoken words, a tension that leaves my thoughts spinning. I’ve always had a crush on Bodhi—who wouldn’t? But I never thought he’d look at me like this, with an intensity that makes my knees weak, that leaves me wanting something I can’t quite put into words.

“Sit,” he says softly, guiding me to the edge of the bed. My legs feel shaky as I lower myself onto the mattress, and Bodhi moves to his knees in front of me. The sight of him kneeling there, his face inches from mine, sends a sharp ache of longing through my chest. It’s a position that feels intimate, almost too intimate, and I have to resist the urge to reach out and touch him, to run my fingers through his dark, tousled hair and pull him closer.

I’m still trying to process what’s happening, still trying to catch my breath, when Bodhi’s hands reach for my boots. He works in silence, deft fingers unlacing the leather with a skill that speaks of years spent in flight leathers himself. When he finally pulls the boots off and sets them aside, his hands return to me, grazing the skintight leathers of my pants legs as he slides his palms slowly, deliberately, up toward my hips.

The touch sends a rush of heat through me, my pulse quickening as his fingers trail higher, a soft, feather-light touch that makes my breath hitch. His hands find their way around my back, moving with purpose but not rushing, until his fingers find the lacings of the dragon armour my brother made for me before I walked the parapet.

He undoes them with practiced ease, and I feel the tension in my chest loosen as the bindings fall away. The weight of the armour lifts, but it’s nothing compared to the weight in my heart, the yearning that’s only grown stronger the closer Bodhi gets.

I’ve wanted him for so long, and now, with him this close, his touch so careful and his gaze so intent, I can’t help but wonder if he’s wanted me too.

Bodhi stands and lifts the now-loosened corset armour from my shoulders, handling it with surprising care before placing it neatly on the chair by his desk. The room feels heavier in the quiet after the sound of the armour settling, my heart beating wildly in the stillness. When he turns back to me, his eyes drop to my waist, his fingers hovering just above my hips. His gaze flickers up to meet mine, and for a moment, everything stills.

He hesitates, his touch light, asking for permission without words.

I nod slightly, barely noticeable, but Bodhi catches it, and as soon as he does, my hips rise instinctively. His fingers deftly find the buttons of my flight leathers, working through each one with an unhurried precision that makes my pulse race. The heat of his touch burns through the leather, and when he finally shimmies the pants down my legs and to the floor, the sensation is almost overwhelming—his hands, warm and firm, feel like fire in my veins.

Once I’m free of the leathers, Bodhi moves away from me, crossing the room toward the washroom. I watch him through half-lidded eyes as he disappears for a moment, only to return with a worn shirt in hand. He approaches me with a soft look in his eyes, holding it out like a peace offering.

The shirt smells like him. There’s a faint woodsy scent, warm and earthy, like pine and leather, mixed with the sharper tang of the wind that always seems to cling to him after a day in the sky. Beneath it all, there’s something uniquely Bodhi, something comforting, steady, that grounds me even as my mind whirls with everything happening between us.

He turns his back to give me some privacy, and I waste no time. My shirt and bra come off quickly, discarded without thought, and I pull his shirt over my head. It’s too big, falling to mid-thigh and swallowing me in its softness, the fabric still warm from his skin. I take a breath, letting the scent of him wrap around me like a second skin, comforting in a way I didn’t expect.

By the time I’m done, Bodhi is already shuffling around me, his movements slow and sleepy, but purposeful. He climbs back under the covers and without hesitation, wraps a strong arm around my waist, pulling me toward him. The warmth of his body presses against mine, the heavy weight of his arm a reassuring presence as he draws the blankets over both of us.

He’s close—so close I can feel the rise and fall of his chest against my back, the heat of him chasing away the lingering chill in the room. His nose brushes against the back of my neck, and I shiver, not from cold but from the sensation of him so near. Bodhi’s thumb rubs slow, soothing circles along my waist, and it’s enough to make my body relax, melting into the space between us.

“What’s got you up in the middle of the night?” he mumbles, his voice soft and rough with sleep. His breath tickles my neck, warm and steady, and I can’t help but smile faintly at the quiet concern in his voice, even half-asleep.

I don’t answer right away, too lost in the feeling of him holding me, the weight of his arm a comfort I didn’t know I needed. The anxiety that had gnawed at me all night is still there, but it’s quieter now, softened by the way Bodhi holds me like I’m something worth protecting.

Finally, I murmur, “Just… tomorrow.” The words are barely more than a whisper, but Bodhi seems to understand, his arm tightening slightly around my waist in silent reassurance.

Bodhi pulls me even closer to his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat resonating against my back, anchoring me in this moment. His voice, still laced with sleep, drops to a low murmur, sending soft vibrations through me. “You’ve got this, you know,” he mumbles, warmth pooling in his words like honey. “You’ll kick their asses tomorrow.”

His confidence in me feels like a shield against the anxiety that had clawed at me all night. I can’t help but smile, feeling the tension in my chest ease just a little.

“And if that other guy tries anything outside the rules,” he continues, his voice dipping even lower, “he’ll have to deal with me.” There’s a protective edge to his tone that makes my heart flutter, the notion of Bodhi standing up for me sending a thrill through my veins.

He rests his chin atop my head, a gentle weight that feels comforting and safe. “You’re stronger than you think,” he adds softly, each word wrapping around me like a warm embrace. “Just remember that, and you’ll be unstoppable.”

In his arms, with his sweet reassurances washing over me, the fears that had once felt so insurmountable start to dissipate, replaced by a sense of calm. I close my eyes, breathing in the scent of him, feeling utterly enveloped in his warmth and unwavering support. 

Just as I’m falling asleep in, Bodhi is nudging me gently, urging me to roll over and face him. I comply, shifting so that I’m looking directly into his dark, expressive eyes. His hand finds my cheek, his touch warm and inviting, and heat floods my skin at the contact. It’s as if his palm ignites a fire against my cheek, sending a shiver of warmth spiralling through me.

He studies my face for a moment, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips, and then he leans down, brushing a barely-there kiss against my lips. It’s sweet, feather-light, and it leaves me wanting more. My heart races, and before I can think, my hands find their way into his dark curls, relishing the silky softness of his hair between my fingers.

But it’s that soft kiss that sends all coherent thoughts flying from my mind, leaving me breathless and craving. Bodhi deepens the kiss, tilting his head to fit us perfectly together, and the world around us fades away. The taste of him is intoxicating—warm, with a hint of mint and something uniquely Bodhi that sends a spark of electricity through me.

His lips move against mine with a gentleness that contrasts the intensity of my racing heart, each brush igniting a heat that spreads through my entire body. It’s as if he’s exploring, learning every curve and contour of my lips, and I’m lost in the sensation.

Every nerve ending tingles as he kisses me properly, the connection between us growing more profound with each passing moment. There’s a sweetness to the way he cradles my face, a tenderness that makes my heart swell. I can feel his warmth radiating through the kiss, wrapping me in a cocoon of safety and longing.

When he finally pulls back, our lips lingering just a breath apart, I can’t help but chase his mouth for just another taste, a whisper of connection that leaves me craving more. The air between us is electric, thick with unspoken feelings, and in that moment, I know I’ve stepped into something beautiful, something I never want to end.

Fourth Wing Masterlist - To be made Comment to be added to tag list

[velvetlilacsdaisies]

Stay Still | B. Durran |

Bodhi Durran x fwb!fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: NSFW, SMUT, MDNI, swearing, p in v, (unprotected sex pls pls be safe), cockwarming, not proofread well, switch!Bodhi, possessive!Bodhi, bratty!reader, poorly written smut, smut with little plot

A/n: hehhe this came out of my ass idk what got into me during my reading bonanza last night 🤭. I just felt truly inspired to try to write a full smut. This is my first official smut I’ve wrote so I would love feedback to improve on it if you have it, but I hope you find this as fun as I did!!

You sighed boredly laying on Bodhi’s bed, stomach pressed against the plush mattress, idly looking over a book about runes you tried to occupy your thoughts with. It had been thirty minutes since you arrived at the Section Leader’s door looking for some company in nothing but your black dressing robe and matching tiny nightgown underneath. Anticipating when he opened his door, he’d haughtily pull you into his quarters and ravish you like a man starved…but no. He merely gave you a once over before letting you in, and sat back at his desk doing his research on wards for Xaden.

You wanted to help as much as he did with resurrecting the wardstones for your friends, but now it had impeded on yours and his arrangement. It’s been two weeks since you last found yourself in the embrace of the man you craved, and you were desperate for the attention you lacked. It had become an unspoken routine you two had secretly engaged in since after Threshing last year. Only using each other other than for just distractions from the trials of surviving the Rider’s Quadrant at night, while during the day you were just squad mates.

You could feel another wave of heat go through your core at the thought of the secret that the two of you shared. You had been fighting the wanton desire since the last time you had found each other. Not that you weren’t satisfied by Bodhi, but you never stopped wanting him it had become glaringly obvious for you. You had even resorted to giving into flirty banter with Ridoc in front of him to get the Flame Section Leader’s acknowledgment, left with not even a sarcastic remark or scolding look on his part. Since Violet returned from Samara, there was a dire urgency to find answers on the wardstone.

But today was exemplarily tougher to push that ache down. After a rather intensive Flame Section sparring session after classes, you had been forced to watch Bodhi spar without drooling. His shirt discarded halfway through the session when he was challenged by Sawyer, the sweat glistening off his chiseled muscles. As if he knew the effect he had on you. The relic that swirled over his bulky biceps and veiny forearms and his dragon relic that loitered on the back of his left sharp shoulder blade down to the side of his refined torso. You had to take an extra cold shower once all the girls left the locker room to calm the burning desire that consumed you which proved to be no help.

You got off the bed, and made your way to him feeling impatient as your core throbbed once more. His back was towards you, displaying his relics that you admired and worshiped in the solace of the night. Your arms wrapping around his chest from behind, your nails lightly scratching his broad bare chest.

��Boh,” you whined, nipping at his earlobe. “Are you done yet?” You asked, a simper to your tone. The arousal in between your legs getting too heavy to bare, and clenching your thighs was no longer an option to fight the want for him. You wanted him now. No—you needed him, and you weren’t going to deprive yourself another minute.

“I don’t have much longer until I finish this section.” He murmured. He screwed his eyes shut trying to focus on the text in front of him, tilting his neck out of instinct to the side letting your lips press needy kisses down to his shoulder.

He had known when he saw you at your door in your skimpiest night clothes what you wanted. Finally making a move in the unintentional stalemate between the both of you. It didn’t fall on to blind eyes the way you went out of your way to be bratty throughout the last two weeks, attempting to get a rise out of him. It almost worked, but never being a jealous man, and clever enough to see right through you. The flirty comments to Ridoc, the way he could feel your alluring eyes burn holes into him during any time he was in the vicinity of you. He almost felt guilty leaving you hanging and to resort to blatant facades of making him jealous, a silent plea to just take you already.

He wanted to do nothing, but to fuck you and remind you who you belonged to.

You looked enticing, and every primal thought that flooded his mind he pushed down to the back of his mind when you appeared in front of his door. The churam he smoked an hour ago doing nothing to stop his chest from hammering, and the blood rushing to his manhood, twitching, at the sight of you. He had to use every ounce of his self discipline to keep his composure in check, letting you in without pouncing, devouring you like he wanted. Xaden would arrive back in Basgiath tomorrow expecting intel, and he hadn’t gotten very far in his research besides dead ends.

Your name got stuck in his throat barely sputtering it out as you sucked on the spot that you knew drove him wild, the conjunction of his neck and shoulder.

You weren’t exclusive with Bodhi, but you had learned everything about him that made him tick. From the littlest things like how his eyes lingered when your flight jacket was slightly undone bearing the slightest bit of cleavage in the low cut tank top you wore underneath—to what made him absolutely feral—the feeling of your lips with your teeth marking his sweet spot that would be barely concealed by the collar of his tight black training shirt the next day. Noting how he would wear the mark proudly like the patches on his jacket. Having a boyish grin when a squad mate would bring it up playing coy. No one knew they were left by you.

“I’ll help you after…” you purred, your hands traveling down his torso to the waistband of his night pants. Fingers nimbly tracing the barely grown out hair that led underneath the cotton. “I’ve been waiting weeks for you.” You pouted before peppering more kisses on his cheeks, feeling satisfied at the sharp intake of air he took at the movement.

You would get your way, there would be no other outcome of you showing up at his door tonight than to be ruined by Bodhi Durran.

“I’m expected to have something to report on tomorrow.” He protested weakly, savoring your mouth against jaw, but still keeping his eyes on the parchment.

His dissolve was close to crumbling, feeling the cold fingertips slip underneath his waistband. All he wanted to do was bend you over his desk, imagining your cheek pressed to the ancient texts laid out on the wooden surface as he railed into you from behind. His cock hardened more at the idea of him inside you.

“Xaden won’t-” you were cut off by the scrape of the wooden chair against the stone floor making you stumble backwards slightly. Bodhi abruptly slid his bottoms down, revealing half hardened manhood, sitting back down in the chair.

“C’mere,” he growled. His tone had a dangerous lilt to it, only making the wetness that had pooled in your panties grow more. His usual warm brown eyes blown out filled with something more than lust.

Your throat ran dry, obeying as you stepped in between his legs. He leaned his forehead against your stomach, inhaling steady breaths as if he could smell your arousal. His rough hands gripping your bare outer thighs before slipping under your nightgown, roughly kneading the soft flesh of your ass. Then he hooked his fingers around the fabric of your undergarments dragging them down your legs.

“You want me to fuck you, but have another man’s name leave your lips?” He gritted out through his, barely speaking above a whisper.

Bodhi knew he was overreacting, but when his cousin’s name came out of your mouth, his primal instincts came bubbling to the surface. A feral fire fueling him, no longer to be tamed. How dare you bring up Xaden, when you came here solely looking for relief from him after acting the way you’ve been.

You were taken aback by the words, leaving you stammering. “I-I’m sorry, Boh..”

This was a new side to him, you’ve never seen before. A nervous pang made your heart skip a beat, though excited at the aggressiveness in his actions.

“You think I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing the last two weeks?” He cupped the back of one of your thighs, bringing a leg over his. “Think you were being sly?” He questioned.

You shook your head furiously, forgetting how to speak momentarily.

He pinched the inside of your thigh, only adding to the fire that blazed in your core, a soft gasp leaving your slacked jaw. “Use your words, babygirl.”

“N-no,” the words airily released from your throat, a pink tint to your cheeks.

He smirked, a dry laugh escaping him. “That's what I thought.” He dragged your other leg over his so you were now straddling him, knees perched on the extra wide seat. “Since you want to be a brat, you can sit on my cock until I’m done here.” He held his member with one hand, pumping slowly. “You got it?”

You gulped, watching how it twitched ever slightly, and his shoulders relaxed as he held himself. Nodding eagerly, biting your lip, still looking between the both of you awaiting for him to be inside you.

His free hand wrapped around your hair, pulling it, forcing you to look in his eyes. “What did I say about your words?” He growled. A soft moan left your lips at the gesture. His darkened brown eyes wavered in hunger and pride at the reaction.

“Y-yes, please…” you begged, feeling him rub the tip against your slick folds.

“Good girl, so wet for me,” he groaned.

He slowly inserted himself at your entrance, his hand finding your hip to help lower yourself on to him until he bottomed out inside you. His thick member stretching you out in a blissful sting that he could make you feel. You both sighed at the feeling, and you rested your head in the crook of his neck holding on to him with a near death grip.

You could feel yourself throb as he went back to working. His hands lightly brushing your sides every time he flipped a page or went to jot a note down in his notebook, causing jolts to go down your body. You tried to grind your hips to provide the teeniest bit of relief, Bodhi would only grip your thighs with a bruising force.

“Stay still,” he hissed, his head rolling back as he felt you clench around him again. A small smirk graced your lips, an idea coming to your mind.

One of your hands slid in between you, and found your clit. You moaned, as your fingers circled the sensitive nub.

“Y/n…” he warned, listening to the sweet noises you made in his ear, gripping the quill in his hand tightly. He had thought he had the upper hand in this, but as you touched yourself, his cock warming your insides, he felt the remaining bit of his dissolve crumble. “You’re such a fucking brat.” He held your hips, halting your movements.

“Do something about it then.” You challenged, pressing a chaste kiss to his full lips.

He thrusted up into you, sounds sweet as sin coming from your throats. A wicked smile twisted on to your face, finally. “I fully intend to.” He mumbled, pulling you into another kiss, this time longer and heated. You nipped at his lower lip, earning a hiss from him as you slipped your tongue into his mouth.

Drilling into you at a slow agonizing pace, your tongues fought for dominance, the kiss becoming broken up between strings of noises leaving the both of you. The slow burn pleasure painstakingly from the pace he had set. You tried to lower yourself up and down to go at a faster pace and to your dismay he slowed his movements more, squeezing your hips in caution.

You pulled away panting, “more.” You were a whimpering mess, frustrated to find your release. “Please, Bodhi.”

“Just because you get what you want doesn’t mean you still can’t be punished.” A lazy smirk etched on to his broad jaw. “I have to remind you who you belong to.”

He slowly thrusted up into you again, making you cry out. His face contorted to a look of pleasure as he provided deep slow strokes into you, the sight of him biting his now bruised lip heavenly.

“I’m yours, please.” You begged, nails biting into his shoulders. “Only yours.” You cried when he thrusted particularly harder when you said that.

“Y’ feel so good around me.” He drawled. “Like your pussy was made for me, sweetheart.” His words caused an effect on your whole body from your pussy clenching harder around him to your heart swelling from the praise.

The atmosphere felt entirely different from the usual casual hook ups from before. His forehead resting against yours, occasionally nuzzling your nose with his whispering lines of worship for you taking his time.

“Feels so good,” you panted, looping your fingers in his curls at the nape of his neck. You could feel yourself go dumb as his fingers found your clit, circling it with the same agonizing pace of his cock. You don’t know how much of this you could take. “Please, please, please let me ride you.”

“Do you deserve to ride me?” He taunted in between thrusts.

You nodded vigorously, “please let me make you feel good, Boh. Please.”

He stopped playing with your clit, bringing his fingers to your swollen lips. You sucked your juices off of them, tasting yourself as he leaned back in the chair.

“Mm, since you’ve been begging so nicely.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

The moans you released as you fucked yourself onto Bodhi’s cock were angelic. Letting you lower yourself up and down, watching as you got lost, getting drunk on his manhood. His hands had a firm grip on your waist, helping guide you down his length.

“That’s it, ride me like the good slut you are.” He watched your cunt sink onto him, swallowing his length whole.

You could start to feel the familiar coil of release start to come undone, and you knew you weren’t gonna last long. The sounds of your slick and his pants encouraging you to go faster.

Bodhi sensed the way you gripped him, you were going to climax, and met your rhythm bucking his hips upward. “You gonna come f’me?” He asked.

You could only mewl in response, the pleasure rendering you speechless as you rode him harder. Your vision blurred with stars, your body going rigid from the surge of tingling pleasure that electrified your body. The coil finally unraveling in your core as you orgasmed. You let out a throaty moan that was muffled by his lips, kissing passionately.

The tawny skinned man didn’t stop his movements, feeling his own release chasing yours. His aching cock twitched in need of relief. He muttered curses, his pace getting sloppier as he whimpered your name.

“Come for me, Boh.” You whispered softly. His arms wrapped tightly around your midsection, clinging to you like his life depended on it as he kept fucking you.

You felt the twitch, and his release shoot into you, a guttural groan following it. Feeling the mix of your arousals seeping out of you, his cock throbbing.

The heavy breathing from the both of you was the only noise in the room, you two staying in the position. You lightly scratched his scalp letting him regain his composure, his arms loosely holding you still. After a minute, he leaned away looking at you silently.

The intense gaze made you self conscious, clearing your throat as indication you were getting up. His arms only tightened around you once more, but he let his cock sink out of you, feeling your releases cover both of your thighs.

“I should get going,” you stated bluntly.

“Stay the night?” He reached over for the t-shirt that was crumpled on the floor beside his desk. Gingerly wiping you off first, being extremely gentle and careful to not be too abrasive with your sensitive parts, before he cleaned himself off.

You blinked in surprise, he never asked that before—let alone so nonchalant. You two never stayed too long in one another’s quarters after, let alone spend the night with one another. This would encroach the boundaries you mentally placed on this arrangement, ultimately entangling what you had already felt for the man in front of you.

“Aren’t you worried someone will see?” You asked warily.

He offered his usual boyish grin. “That’s kind of the point, sweetheart.”

Personally the pacing was weird for me to write, but I hope it gave you guys what you needed! The idea of fwb possessive Bodhi now has me in a chokehold lmao. Like I said, I am always open to improvements and feedback as this was a bit out of my comfort zone 🫶🏻��

[lady-of-tearshed]

The healer said

Bodhi Durran x Reader

This fic is rated 18+. Read at your own discretion. Warnings below.

A/N: SO! First smutty fic, first Bodhi fic... a lot of firsts in this fic! Anyways. Hope it's not too bad and readable. Enjoy! 💕

Summary: Bodhi reminds you of what "the healer said" about what you can and can not do because of your concussion.

Word count: 4,182k

Wanrnings: smut, oral (f receiving), penetration, talk of concussion, talk of broken bones, blood

Professor Emetterio had surely planned to kill you by choosing Felix Braun as Y/N’s sparring partner. Bodhi was sure of that. You stood no chance against the guy. Bodhi knew that you were strong, wise, devastatingly beautiful… You could easily make lots of guys and girls in this room tap out. But cadet Braun… The guy was viscous, fast, tall, and built like a bear. No weapons, no signets, professor Emetterio had insisted. Bodhi was standing on Xaden's side, arms crossed, as he looked over the woman he became ridiculously smitten with. He could still recall the day he’d seen you cross that parapet with the same determination Amari herself, queen of the gods, was described to hold in her eyes. The spar started, moving his attention back on the mat, his eyes were glued on you, Xaden chuckled beside him. Bodhi shot him a glare, his eyes burning with annoyance as he clicked his tongue, turning his attention back to his… dearest friend. 

You managed to throw a kick in Felix Braun's ribs, he stumbled a little, and you jumped on the opening you had to throw a few jabs at him before dodging his next attack. Xaden whistles discreetly when he notices the damage the woman did on Braun, “She is quite sturdy,” Xaden compliments her, making Bodhi grin proudly. “Yeah, she is,” He whispers, his eyes shining with adoration. He tried not to flinch when you failed to dodge a few punches from Braun, he frowned, keeping his focus solely on you. He crossed his arms tightly on his chest and watched the spar carefully, ready to jump in and break every codex law if it got too dangerous for you. He knew you could handle it, but Braun was known to be cruel, and Bodhi didn't like that for one bit, that this girl had to spar with this asshole. 

Bodhi would have loved to be the one to spar with you, he would've let you break his nose and force him to tap out happily, if it meant being pinned down on the mat between those thick delicious thighs of yours. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to distract himself from these thoughts before it became too obvious. He sensed Xaden smirk beside him, “What.” Bodhi snarled, “Nothing… Nothing,” Xaden taunted, his hands rising in front of him as if he was oh so innocent. Bodhi rolled his eyes and looked over Violet standing on the other side of the room, he pointed his chin in her direction, “Don't act like you've never thought anything like that about her, cousin.” He winked at his cousin, and Xaden’s teaseful grin faded. “It's not like that,” He muttered under his breath, and this time, it was Bodhi’s turn to smirk like an asshole. He was way too pleased to have managed to make his cousin feel embarrassed for once. 

But his grin quickly faded when he saw your frail body being propelled in the air, Braun lifting you above his head in one swift movement, before crashing you to the mat in a loud thud. He heard all of the air escape from your lungs with the force of the impact, and if it weren't from Xaden's shadows, he would've jumped from his place when Felix's clenched fist met with your perfect cheek bone. “She didn't tap out yet.” Xaden warned, both of them staring attentively at the fight. Braun kept hitting, and hitting your now unconscious body, Xaden's shadows left Bodhi's ankles the second you passed out, unable to defend yourself in your condition, “That's enough,” Xaden ordered Felix, trying to sound nonchalant. Bodhi quite literally ran to your side. “She didn't tap out-” Felix Braun tries to argue as Bodhi rushed dangerously closer to him, “Get the fuck away from her.” Bodhi yanked Felix off of you, swinging him full force into the nearest wall. 

Bodhi wasted no time to get his attention back on you. He cradled you carefully up into his strong arms. Bodhi looked towards Emetterio who was staring from the other side of the room. “He taps out,” Bodhi snaps at the professor, then he walked quickly out of the room, his blood boiling with rage by how fucking stupid Felix Braun was. Braun could've killed you. He almost did. Bodhi looked down at your limp unconscious body in his arms. Your body was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, blood stained your clothes, and your cheekbone and nose were twisted in an unnatural shape. But Gods, did he find you beautiful nonetheless.  

All eyes turned on him carrying you when he kicked open the healer’s quadrant door with his leather boot. The healer quadrant was buzzing today, everyone too busy to pay attention to him, or the unconscious stunning angel in his arms. Bodhi was growing frustrated at the thought that no one rushed to take care of you as he did, but he calmed down only slightly when he met Nolon’s eyes. Bodhi held his gaze, and even though the man looked quite busy he sighed and headed toward them. “She needs healing. Now.” Bodhi pressed, reluctant to let go of your frame when Nolon motioned him to lay her down on the medical examination table. “Oh I’m quite sure I know what this cadet needs, wingleader Durran. It’s pretty much my job.” Nolon accentuated their respective titles. You were a cadet. A cadet who wasn’t on his wing. A cadet whom he wasn’t responsible for as a wingleader from a section that wasn’t hers. She was a cadet that Nolon, as a healer, was supposed to take care of. Nolon’s tone made it pretty damn clear that it was best for everyone that Bodhi would just exit this room to let the healers do their jobs.  So, reluctantly, Bodhi left you in the skillful hands of the healers. ‘You’re so pathetically smitten by her.’ Cuir's voice resonated annoyingly from his side of the bond. And Bodhi’s cheek slightly turned a shade redder as he walked through Basgiath’s halls, his thoughts racing towards you. He couldn’t hide the obvious truth from his dragon, so he simply answered, ‘I know I am.’

°●°●°♥︎°●°●°

When you finally slipped out of your restless slumber, you had to pry your eyes open. They were dry, and the bright lights of the room made your head pound. Your stomach churned as you rolled off what you now realized was an examination table, and you emptied what little food you had consumed today before sparring. You recognized Nolon's hand holding up your hair as you heaved, and your nausea ceased as soon as you felt his powers running through you. “Felix Braun had it rougher.” Nolon reassured you, managing to get a weak chuckle out of you. He linked his arm underneath your armpit and helped you up on your wobbling legs. You wiped the remnants of vomit and saliva off your lips, then your fingers gently traced over the curve of your nose. Your nose was now perfectly straight, still sensible, but straight. “Bodhi helped me I suppose?” You roll your eyes. You were glad of your friend's help, but sometimes you just wished you could be strong like him. Nolon shrugged his shoulders, and you knew he was lying when he told you that Bodhi “Barely,” helped you out. 

When you felt your muscles strong enough to support you, you took a few steps away from Nolon, heading towards the door. He raised his eyebrow at you, “Where are you going like that, young lady?” He crossed his arms, his voice a clear warning that you were better not to leave this room like that. You sighed at Nolon's caring nature, and slowly turned to him, “I was… going to get some rest.” You lied, knowing that you had at least one hour left before curfew to practice what mistakes you've made in your spar against Braun. Nolon shoved a paper bag into your hand, and your eyes widened at the tons of different pills there were in there. The blue one was for when you'll wake up in the mornings, the light yellow and the white one while eating, and the two big red ones before going to bed. The suspicious brown syrup was to be taken if you were to be in too much pain, Nolon explained. 

You barely registered anything he'd just said, and you probably wouldn't need to recall all of these pills posology since in your opinion, it was unnecessary. You would probably not even take them. You were a rider. A strong, powerful rider. Rider's don't have time to be sick, or hurt. You thanked Nolon nonetheless, and headed towards the sparring room. It was empty, not to your surprise. It was Friday, and cadets were probably gone celebrating for whatever reason they made up, like still being alive. You tucked an elastic band beneath your boot, the other part of it trapped inside your hand, and you pulled on it to stretch the muscles of your sore shoulders. After thoroughly stretching, you moved to the punching bags to practice your jabs. You tried to ignore the thrombin pain in your head and the tensions on your muscles as you kept giving it your all in your training. Sweat was dripping from your forehead, landing on your cheeks, and you sighed, moving a few steps back from the punching bag to take your breath. 

“You shouldn't be out here.” You heard a familiar voice call out from behind you. That deep, rich voice that sent butterflies flying in the pit of your stomach everytime he was around. “It's not curfew yet.” You stubbornly answer back, wiping your forehead and getting ready for your next set of punches. “You just got mended, you shouldn't overwork yourself like that,” Bodhi's concerned voice was now closer to your right ear, and you felt his hand hesitating to rest on your shoulder. Without warning, you spun around and placed your hands on his chest, sending his cheeks ablaze at your sudden closeness. “And you're not my wingleader, you shouldn't be ordering me around like that,” You say, your voice dangerously low. You can't help yourself but to stare at those scrumptious lips of his, then back into the depth of his soft brown eyes, his pupils were wide. “Then, your healer said you shouldn’t overwork yourself like… that…” 

Bodhi gulped as you walked closer to him, his fingers sneaked almost shakily on the curve of your hips. He roamed his fingers over the fabric of your shirt, then laid his palm flat on your hip, caressing it gently as if he risked breaking you. You get yourself even closer to him, your bodies tightly pressed on eachother, and you internally wondered where this sudden boldness of yours was coming from. It wasn’t a secret that you and Bodhi were eyeing constantly eye-fucking eachother in class, at trainings, at meetings with the other marked ones around… You had exchanged a few fleeting touches with him before too. Your fingers had sometimes sneaked over his to rub them softly when the two of you were sitting beside each other, but never have you been pressed against Bodhi Durran's delicious body before. You must’ve hit your head pretty fucking hard to dare try making a move on Bodhi, your childhood friend, a second year, a wingleader. 

“Did the healer forbid anything else?” You whisper, moving your lips dangerously close to his neck. His scent… His scent was driving you crazy. His aroma of leather and embers made your nostrils flare in delight, and it lit up your whole body in flames. He shivers as your nose brushes over the skin of his neck, and you feel his fingers digging into the soft skin of your hips. You raised on your tippy toes, your lips finally making contact with the skin of his jaw, and you almost moaned in delight at how heavenly it felt to place kisses over his jawline. It felt natural, familiar, and Bodhi was fighting every urge he had, probably because he still doubted that this goddess wanted a man like him, to throw his head back and buck against her. “Mh?” You pressed, still waiting for his answer. 

Your voice vibrated on Bodhi’s neck, sending shivers up his spine, and he instantly felt himself harden only from the sound of your voice. Gosh he was pathetically smitten with this woman. He gulps, and you feel his Adam apple bobbing, making you want to dig your teeth into it. “I do not recall if he forbade any other activities…” He slid his hand from her hips to her lower back, venturing lower, and lower, until he cupped both of your buttcheeks in his palms. His voice rumbled when he felt how your ass moved when his fingers massaged it while you kept kissing his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. “Then I suppose that if I feel like climbing you like a tree, and that you allow me to, I can?” You purred, and Bodhi groaned, he bucked against the hand you sneaked between the two of you, increasing the pressure of your palm placed on the bulge of his pants. “Shit- Y/N,” He warned you, trapping your chin between his thumb and index, forcing your head back to look up at him, “You have no idea what you’re implying right now, what you’re getting yourself into…” 

You plunged your eyes into his, the pounding of your head replaced by the loud thuds of your heart. You pressed your thighs together, biting your lips at the friction, and Bodhi stared down. He sucked in a breath, and before he could chicken out and walk away to lead you to your room to rest like the gentleman you know he is, you told him, “Trust me, I do. Can we stop eye-fucking eachother and just get at it?” His eyes squeezed and you felt him shudder, as if he was fighting some inner demons, overthinking wether it was right, or terribly wrong to fuck you in this state. He opened his eyes, fire dancing in the depths of his eyes.“Fuck yes we can.” His voice was low and sounded primal. He attacked your lips like a starved beast, and it felt as if your souls had merged from this kiss. You could feel him, smell him, taste him everywhere. Feeling him was dizzying, arousing, tantalizing. 

You barely even registered how you stumbled into Bodhi’s bedroom, nor if you had been seen by people on your way there. Your lips had not left Bodhi’s once since he lifted you up into his arms and dragged you here. The last thing you remembered was proposing him to just fuck in the public showers, but Bodhi just didn’t feel like having anyone catching the two of you like this. To be honest, Bodhi just didn’t want anyone to see you, his beautiful girl, naked. Were you his though? He wasn’t sure. And he clearly did not feel like stopping what they were doing, or about to do, right now just to put a name on what they were. He’d fuck you, mark you, and treat you like his tonight. He’d treat you right, love you right, and fuck you right too while he’s at it. 

You were breathing loudly, your lips crashing against his. Bodhi’s neck was already coated with your saliva as you occasionally moved your lips away from his to nip at the column of his neck. Clothes were flying over the room, landing on the floor haphazardly, a weird contrast to Bodhi's immaculately neat bedroom. He lets out a filthy hum when you tug his underwear off, leaving the both of you now completely naked. You slid away from him slightly, his hands leaving your behind as you sank down on your knees. You stick out your tongue, his heavy head sliding on your tongue. You barely have the time to taste the slightly salty pearl of precum shining on the tip of his cock before Bodhi snapped out of his daze, lifting you by the armpits and laying you down on the bed. You raise an eyebrow at him, worried you might’ve done something that upset him, but he kissed your worries away. His lips met your cheek, and he gently bit it. “Tonight, I’m taking care of my sweet girl.” He growls in your ear, kissing the spot right beneath your earlobe lovingly before tracing his tongue down your neck, all the way to the swell of your breast. 

You combed your fingers through his dark curls with your right hand, your left hand already intertwined with his. You squeezed his hand gently as he placed kisses all over your breasts, nipping at the skin to leave small love bites on them. “And… Will I be the one to take care of you tomorrow?” You bit your lips, wondering if maybe you had been too bold to presume there would be other times. But he snickered, moving down to kiss your stomach. He looked at you through his thick eyelashes, and you could see a feline grin plastered on his face as he got further down your body. “Patience, lovely, we have plenty of time to think about what we’ll do tomorrow…” Before you could think of a smart thing to answer back to his teasing tone, his tongue lapped a long stripe of your arousal. Your head tilted back as you softly moaned, and you pulled on his hair, instinctively bringing his mouth closer to where you needed it most. 

His nose pressed against your throbbing clit while his tongue slowly swiped through your soaked folds. He squeezed your hand softly, his thumb stroking the back of your hand.  “Look at me, your eyes are too pretty to be shut…” His voice rumbles in his throat, and you pear at him through half lidded eyes. Gods… he was beautiful. He had painted  your neck, your stomach, your breasts, with dark red marks. It was like a gentle reminder for tomorrow, and the days to come, of all the places his lips had been on you. He pushed your thigh back against your stomach with his free hand, sticking his tongue further into your folds, teasingly pushing in your hole. You bit your lip, and you would’ve shut your eyes closed from the overwhelming pleasure Bodhi was giving you, if it weren’t from the clear warning in his eyes. You bucked your hips against his face, making his tongue disappear deeper into you. Bodhi lustfully sighed, his breath caressing your cluster of nerves.  

You squirm underneath him as a pleasurable tingle rushes into your lower abdomen. “Bodhi,” You moaned his name, and he grunted, rubbing his shaft against the mattress at the sound of his name coming out from those beautiful lips of yours. That only could’ve been his undoing if he didn’t fight the urge to calm himself down to prolong the pleasure. “What?” He had the audacity to answer, slightly lifting his face from between your thighs. His chin was glistening with a mix of your essence and his own saliva. You tugged his hair toward you, and he raised on his elbows, his predatory eyes fixed on yours as he crawled up to your face. He slid his needy lips on yours, tilting tugging your head back to sneak his tongue into your mouth. You tasted yourself on him, a thing you would’ve never considered hot until now. It made your face heat from how naughty it felt to taste your arousal on his tongue. Her inner walls were clenching around nothing, craving for something the emptiness Bodhi’s skillful tongue had left down there. 

“I need you,” You whispered against his lips, and his cock twitched between your pressed bodies. “Inside,’ You clarified, making him chuckle slightly as he positioned himself, sliding his dick against your pussylips to lube himself with your cum. “Inside, mh? What do you need inside,” Fucking prick. “Your cock-ah…” You pressed your forehead against his as he kept holding onto your hand, his other one gently massaging your inner thigh as he sheathed into you slowly, watching your every reaction. “Is this okay?” He frowns slightly, his forehead moving away from yours to kiss your nose gently. His heavy breathing fanned over your cheeks, tickling them slightly. You smiled and squeezed his hand in reassurance, moving your free hand to cup his chin. “Yes,” You affirm confidently, rolling your hips against him. 

He groaned, plunging his cock in your entrance in one thrust of his hips. His jaw twitched under your fingers, and you moved it to his shoulder. “Don't hold back, I can take it,” He tilts his head back at your words and growls, as if you had unleashed the beast in him. He rutted into you, his head hitting you deep, and fast. The sound of your raspy breathing and the slapping of his balls against your wetness echoed in the room, and you prayed to the gods that he had warded his room, because if he didn't, the whole quadrant would probably hear you chanting his name like a prayer. There was no way you could hold it back. Not when he was fucking you as if it was the last time. 

Your thigh trembled, your eyes rolled back, and Bodhi held your chin between his fingers so he could admire your features contorting as you came. “That's it… Good girl…” He grunted, his pace slowing nust for a moment as he led you through your orgasm. You breath out a needy whimper when Bodhi's cock slipped out of you, and he flipped you onto your stomach. You could feel the drenched sheets pressing against your pelvis in this position. He slid a pillow underneath your hips, pressing his hardness against your throbbing cunt, and bent down to reach your ear. ���Think you can take a bit more for me?” You nodded, wiggling your hips to rub against him.

He hummed, biting onto your shoulder as he entered you once again, this time, slowly. You felt his abs twitch against your back with every thrust, his hand had left yours, now caressing your body with both hands. He held your hip gently, and his other hand worked on your perked niple, gently rolling it between his thumb and index. You were seeing stars, and you felt like you were floating on a cloud. Sex had never felt like this before, and you'd give your soul to Malek if this was the last time you'd have the chance to experience that. His thrust started to feel sloppier, and you could hear his breathing getting raspy. “Fuck,” He swore, his fingers digging tightly into your the flesh of your hip. His other hand slid between your legs, his fingers applied a light pressure to your overstimulated clit and you screamed in pleasure, arching your ass up. Bodhi couldn't hold it back anymore, he grunted, pulling out in one swift movement and his sperm spurted on your back. 

He almost came again at the sight of your ass and your back covered with his semen and love bites. Gods you were beautiful, sprawled like this on his bed, panting, sweating, disheveled… He would keep you in his bed, dress you in his clothes, and cover you with his marks everyday if you'd allow him to. He sat on his knees, his fingers running through your hair in a failed attempt to untangle them. He gave your ass a small smack before reaching his arm towards the tissue box on the nightstand to clean you up. He wiped your back clean, then massaged your muscles with his large hands. He bent over to kiss your cheek, and his heart melted when you turned on your back to pull him on top, kissing his lips as lovers would. 

You stroked his hair when he pulled his lips away from you, still snuggled on you, his elbow holding his weight a little so he doesn't crush you. “I need to use the toilet.” You smiled tiredly, and you rolled out of bed, wincing at how sore your legs were. You extended your arm towards Bodhi’s shirt on the floor and slipped it on. “Will you…” You heard him speak up hesitantly. You pear at him over your shoulder, je was sprawled on the bed, propped onto his arm, the sheets messily covering all the way up to his waist. “Yeah?” You insisted to him to continue his request, “Will you… Come back to bed, after?” You smiled, leaning in the doorframe of his bathroom. “Yeah. Is that okay?” You winked at him, and his heart skipped a beat. “Excellent…” He exhaled, a dumb grin stuck on his face as he plopped down onto the bed, stretching his legs as he waited for you to come out of the bathroom. Cuir was right. He was pathetically smitten by this woman. And he was fucking proud of it. 

[stupidlybookish]

Iron Flame

Xaden: Right, I’ve left you all written instructions for when I’m away this time.

Imogen: Mine says “no murder”.

Bodhi: Mine says “no fires”.

Violet: Mine just says “no”.

[highladyofterrasen7]

Xaden: guys I need your help

Liam: with what

Xaden: I need to move a new amiore into sorrengail’s room

Garrick: why does sorrengail need a new amiore

Xaden: no… reason…

Bodhi: you fucked her didn’t you

Xaden: maybe

[she-whatshername]

Xaden, Violet, Garrick and Bodhi sitting at the kitchen table in Riorson House

Bodhi: is Imogen okay?

Violet: she said she’s fine…what?

Bodhi and Garrick exchanging looks

Xaden: When Imogen says she’s fine she’s really not.

Garrick: Yeah, every “I’m fine” she says in a row is a clear indication of how not fine she is

Violet: …oh

Garrick: Violet, how many times did Imogen say she’s fine?

Violet:

Bodhi: Violet?

Violet:…eight

Xaden and Bodhi in unison: FUCK

Garrick: I’ll get Chradh to warn Glane. Bodhi you find that revenge list Imogen wrote during first year and you lock those cadets in a room and ward it. Xaden, call The Assembly. I’ll take her to the sparring mats. This is a code pink everyone, we knew this day was coming - Bodhi stop crying we need a united front

[mysterylilycheeta]

Rhiannon: Don't you just hate men sometimes? They can be so useless! Imogen: Right? They're terrible! Jesinia: *signs* 100% Violet: Definitely. Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi, Ridoc, Sawyer, and Dain: Liam: Violet: Not you Liam, you're perfect! The other girls: Honestly, he is! The boys: Wh-

[bookishforfae]

I'll never forget it's canon that when the assassins came for bodhi he defeated them bare ass naked

[angstywaifu]

Xaden: "Have kids" they said, "it'll be fun" they said Bodhi, from the kitchen: Put it out!! Put it out!! Ridoc: It's too big to smother, get the anti flamethrower Xaden: It's. called. a. fire. extinguisher.

[lighthousepigeons]

Bodhi: I sleep with a dagger under my pillow.

Garrick: Weak. I sleep with two swords under mine.

Xaden: You are both pathetic.

Garrick, sarcastically: What killer weapon do you sleep with, Xaden?

Xaden: Violet.

[mattyalwayssmokesweed]

The fact that Violet got fucked (literally), betrayed by her boyfriend, heartbroken over losing her friend, betrayed by her dragons, hurt AND poisoned all in the same day is wild. You guys complain she’s “annoying” but I think she’s not half as annoying as she could have been. Matter of fact she should’ve set Riorson House on fire as soon as she woke up and saw HER BROTHER was fucking alive. She took it too well all things considered

[soulofapatrick]

TAG LIST - updated 12th Oct 2024

KEY:

🌶️ = NSFW

🥹 = SFW

😡 = angsty

𝓧𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝓡𝓲𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

To be written

𝓑𝓸𝓭𝓱𝓲 𝓓𝓾𝓻𝓻𝓪𝓷 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Between Battles and Breaths 🥹

𝓑𝓸𝓭𝓱𝓲 𝓓𝓾𝓻𝓻𝓪𝓷 𝔁 𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

To be written

𝓛𝓲𝓪𝓶 𝓜𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲 𝔁 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Sleep, I've Got You 🥹

𝓖𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓣𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓼 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Trying to make sure you're okay 😡/🥹

𝓡𝓲𝓭𝓸𝓬 𝓖𝓪𝓶𝓫𝓵𝔂𝓷 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

To be written

𝓢𝓪𝔀𝔂𝓮𝓻 𝓗𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝔁 𝓯𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

To be written

[velvetlilacsdaisies]

Shit at Feelings iv

Bodhi Durran x fem!reader

Synopsis: Bonding with dragons? No issue. Killing venin? Unfortunate, but doable. Confronting your feelings towards your childhood best friend? No thanks.

Word count: 6k 🫢

Warnings: swearing (ofc), drinking, angstttt, y/n lore, lmk if I missed anything, not proofread at the end lmaooo

A/n: the long awaited part 4!! Hope y’all aren’t disappointed, trying not to think so hardly on this part bc I scrapped and rewrote this so many times 😅

You're unsure of when it started during the night, but as you sat at the booth with Violet, Rihannon, and Nadine; something stirred in your chest. You desperately tried to look interested in the conversation, trying to meet the eyes of Rihannon trying to focus on the way she animatedly told a story. Laugh when the women poked fun at Violet for something cheeky she’d bring up. Adding input to Nadine’s questions despite having to ask her to repeat herself without having your eyes dragging themselves to look at the other side of the bar.

Who was she?

She wore a dressed down pale blue healer uniform, her skin flawless free of relics and tattoos, glossy perfect red hair that cascaded down her back in waves. She radiated bubbliness from what you observed as she laughed at whatever Bodhi said or did a little dance when her friend sunk a billiard into a pocket. She always seemed to go right back to chatting with him. You couldn’t bear watching her cling to him, but you couldn’t drag your eyes away.

You were well aware you had no right to be sitting there, stomach churning with a bitterness of cold ire…but here you were doing just that.

Rihannon clicked her teeth, making you snap your attention back to the group. You didn’t even try to offer a coy look—this was the second time one of them caught you. You had tried the last two hours to hide your irritation, but it just kept beckoning to the surface. Slowly ticking away within you as if you were going to burst at the seams.

“Okay, what is going on between you two?” She laid her palms flat on the table.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You took a sip of your drink, acting as nonchalant as you could.

She gave you an incredulous look. “The fact you shied away from him all first year, then the first night of break whatever that was.” She waved her hand. “The other day during breakfast, when Dain came to grab him for the leadership meeting, and it was clear as day he was practically undressing you with his eyes when we first arrived.” she rattled off.

“It’s like I’m watching a romance novel unfold in real time.” Nadine said dramatically, a hand moving to her forehead feigning fainting.

You cringed, “it’s-it’s definitely not like that.”

“Not like what?” Quinn interrupted walking up to your own group. Bodhi and Imogen still had been at the table.

The mystery girl touching his built bicep. He had discarded his jacket an hour ago, his rebellion mark on display underneath his tight short sleeve t-shirt. “Ohhh,” she followed your gaze to Bodhi. “Immy told me all about this.” She said in delight to your dismay, taking a seat next to Nadine.

You brought your attention over to the curly haired blond girl. “Does everyone know about this ‘something’ except the two people this ‘something’ is about?” You snapped.

Everyone seemed to have an exciting interest in the nonexistent relationship between you and your childhood best friend.

Quinn merely raised her hands defensively, Rihannon and Nadine awkwardly sipping their drinks looking at the table interested in the wood grain.

“We’re all in the same wing, same section, Y/n it’s hard to ignore the hot and cold between the two of you.” Violet had a softened look in her eyes, being the most sympathetic toward you.

You flushed realizing your outburst, not meaning to aim it at your new found friends. The gnawing bitter feeling was just eating at you, and you couldn’t stop it from being all consuming.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, a scowl on your lips, staring into the clear fizzy liquid in your glass. Despite the tension you created, you looked at the bubbly girl across from you. “Quinn, who is that girl?”

She had a hesitant look on her face, her brown eyes swirled with trepidation. “Ariante, a third year healer.” She offered a short response, seeming to know more than she let on.

You only nodded, turning back to the other side of the bar watching the billiards tables. Ariante, the beautiful young woman, was lining up to shoot the shot, and shot Bodhi a wink before shooting. A small snarl left your lip unknowingly at the sight, leaving all the group to cast worried glances your way.

You grimaced at your behavior, not entirely sure why you had visibly been so riled up at the sight. “I’m gonna get some water.” You stood up, and left the group without another word.

Ariante skimmed her dainty plain manicured hands over Bodhi’s biceps as she giggled over something he told the group he played with. Usually her advances didn’t bother him, last year he had given in to them as a distraction many times when Y/n avoided him like a disease. Tonight though, his chest hammered in annoyance—maybe not just with her in general, but everything tonight seemed to be so overstimulating.

The loud tavern, how he fought a flinch every time the que would knock against a billiard, the musty smell of alcohol and fried food permeating the space, and how fucking unbearably hot he was.

He knew it had nothing due to the summer weather, that the heat that festered deep within him was caused by something wholly different.

Usually he’d use churam to block Cuir out, but the effects of the few drinks he had made it harder to keep that mental shield up and his dragon’s emotions started to take over. Of course Cuir and Cleasaí chose tonight of all nights to fight.

He had spent a year being accustomed to this, but he worried about you.

You still had been clueless to everything, your dragon stubbornly kept you in the dark, which had frustrated both him and Cuir. You didn’t deserve any of that, and he couldn’t help the pang of guilt he felt when he thought about it. He watched how tense you were at the booth, the girl’s giggling at what seemed like your expense; a scowl on your pretty lips at the interaction.

Another wave of heat filled and irritation rippled through him, and he screwed his eyes shut trying to ground himself. He had ripped his jacket off an hour ago, but to no avail aided any relief to his skin. It seemed it only made the pretty third year healer cling to him more. And the only aid that was brought, was to the disdain that rose with the proximity of her.

“Damn it Henrick!” Quinn stomped her foot frustratedly, making him open his eyes again. “I thought I was playing with an amateur?”

Sawyer had a broad grin as he nabbed the gold coins on the corner of the parallel table across from the one him and Imogen played at. “Beginners luck?” He shrugged casually.

The curly haired blond furrowed her eyebrows at the redhead. “Mhm, sure. Beginner’s luck my ass.”

Imogen cackled at her friend. “You’re the one that suggests putting coins down.”

Quinn mimicked Imogen, before a playful glare settled on her features. “Shove it Cardulo, I’m gonna go wallow in pity now if you need me.” She handed the cue to Sawyer before flouncing off to the rest of the group they came with.

Bodhi’s brown eyes not paying any mind to the feisty third year rider as she joined the booth, he instead had been focused on you again. Watching how your tongue darted in between your soft looking lips licking them, the same scowl still lingering on your face.

He had longed to get a feeling of what your lips felt like since he was barely an adult. Doing anything at this point to have a taste of you, knowing he shouldn’t have felt that way. You had always been just barely out of his reach, but he would have risked anything to have that moment as selfish as it sounded.

You were his best friend.

It was more than the idea of blurring the lines of your friendship that stopped him in the past; you were never meant to be anyone else’s, but who was chosen for you. Your parents had made you a lady of the Aretian aristocracy. The intent to secure a cushy life to make sure you would never have to experience war and hardship like they had—even if it wasn’t a love match. You were forced to take the decision they made for you with poise and grace. Exposed to the corrupt society of the aristocracy that lurked behind the violence since a preteen, never supposed to know war and violence like he had. But by the time the peak of the rebellion happened, and Execution Day arrived—it had been too late for the first hand you had been dealt with. Another decision instead handed to you from a choice that hadn’t been yours to ever make.

It was self indulgent thought, but the moment he knew you safely crossed the parapet—there was a hope that ignited in Bodhi’s chest he hadn’t felt in a long while. Despite the blatant act of avoidance on your part, he quietly watched your every move the first year.

Made sure Imogen spent extra time training with you so you’d be ready for your next challenge, telling her what she needed to critique you on from sparring lessons. Insisting Garrick to convince you to eat more than what you usually did so you could bulk muscle to help ease through the gauntlet. Pleading with Xaden to rearrange squads in the flame section so he could keep a better eye on you. Every action in efforts to aid you from the help of your mutual found family was a coercion from him; so he would know you’d have a shot at surviving this hellscape.

For only a measly chance of you to finally acknowledge him.

It had only been a coincidence (or was it? Cleasaí was known to be petty) you had bonded with Cuir’s other half. The mated dragons hadn’t talked since the end of his first year. The first half of being bonded to the notorious green filled with tumultuous arguments that he didn’t know what started from. They had only been recently mated in the last decade from what Cuir told him.

Bodhi swore he did more supply runs for churam than weapons by the end of the year before they went no contact, and just coexisted in the Vale with one another.

He would have preferred that over feeling the wavering aggression through the bond at this very moment.

“Handsome boy,” Ariante cooed, snapping her fingers to get his attention from across the table. Realizing he had zoned out again staring at you, Ridoc clapped him on the back.

“Yeah handsome boy...” he purred mockingly. Bodhi shrugged his hand off quite hastily. He was not in the mood for the second year’s comedic relief…and the overly inebriated physical touch of the counterpart.

Imogen sensed his discomfort by how tense he had looked, his posture usually more lax, or a boyish grin that had been replaced with a grimace. “Gamlyn, go get us some water.” She barked, face set to a hard grimace.

Ridoc with wide eyes in the fear of the short woman, saluted the group before walking off to the bar.

Bodhi reminded himself to thank her later once he was in a better mood. Instead he twisted his face into something that barely showed interest, not like it mattered, the healer was two shits to the wind at this point. Just caring his eyes were on her. Smiling brightly once he turned back to her, even if it was a stoic look he had on.

“I need you to watch as you lose this round.” She giggled, grabbing the cue from her friend’s hand.

The tawny skinned man watched disinterestedly as she made a show of setting her shot up. She swayed her hips to the table, making sure to press her chest down into the polished wood edges so her low cut tank top showed her cleavage as she lined up her shot. She made eye contact with him, offering a seductive wink, before clumsily shooting and completely missing the pocket. If he wasn’t so aggravated, he could have laughed at the scene.

It was Imogen’s turn now, and he subconsciously let his attention wander back to the booth again, noting you were now absent from the table.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but his heart skipped a beat in panic. He scanned the tavern looking for a glimpse of where you could have gone. He could spot you out of a crowd anywhere—from the way you wore your hair to the way you carried yourself.

His brown eyes searched the makeshift dance floor in between tables, the line for the bathroom, the exits of the tavern. The sense of relief when he finally found you should have eased his heart, instead it pounded louder and louder as his vision tunneled. Bodhi’s stomach churned with a burning green feeling, watching you sit at an empty side of the bar with Ridoc, smiling at him as the pair of you talked.

“So yeah, then Imogen told me to grab some water for them, and now I’m here doing that.” Ridoc rambled on about his night. Unbeknownst to him, you had spent the majority of the night meticulously eyeing the group from the booth. But you nodded along, idling swirling your finger along the lip of your cup, letting his word vomit become a white noise in your brain. “Imogen has a scary way of demanding things.”

A smirk had crept onto your face, replacing the frown you wore. Ridoc was always honest, but it was amusing to hear him drunkenly bare his soul at the bar over the silliest details. It had almost been enough to forget the prying animosity that filled your veins.

“Who are you telling? I have known her my whole life.” You reminded him rather distractedly.

Despite talking to him, your attention was still flicking towards the quieter side of the tavern—still invested in the man you’ve been stubbornly hiding your feelings from poorly and the pretty girl that clung to him. The game of billiards was dying down, only her friend and Imogen still playing one another.

Bodhi sat backwards in a chair off to the side, his chest pressed against the back, arms casually draped across the wooden top rail, and head hung low as he sipped from the bottle of ale he had been nursing. Ariante perched in a chair beside him, leaning over into his ear to talk. Her lips mere centimeters from him had your heart thumping so hard that you could hear it in your ears.

“Yeah, but you’re not like her or them in fact.” He shrugged.

That made you turn back to Ridoc, who didn’t realize you were only half heartedly invested in the conversation. Or if he did, he didn’t make it known.

“Like they’re all scary broody motherfuckers, and you're just you. Intimidating sure, but not all broody and aggressive.”

You let out a dry chuckle, “language please, they are my friends.”

He raised his full hands defensively, ignoring the fact he sloshed water all over him. “Sorry. You know what I mean though.”

You leaned your head to the side, a quizzical expression on your features. “Elaborate Gamlyn.”

You might have been aware of what he meant, just for the sake of your entertainment you didn’t mind hearing the inebriated man’s ramble of what he thought. It was the only thing that was keeping the pent up emotions beneath the surface.

“Well, you’re kind of lady-like?” He tested the word then nodding. “Yeah, lady like. Not that they don’t have manners—they have better manners than me, but you’re like a refined woman.” His eyes got big and arms were flailing as he animatedly spoke, water sloshing on him.

“Would you be surprised if I said I had been a lady?” You interrupted his spiel.

“No shit, like tea and biscuits, go for a promenade around the garden kind of lady?” He slurred in disbelief with an attempt of an accent.

The way he had said it made it hard to stifle your laugh. “Dowry to my name and all.” You mocked using a posh accent as well.

He made a strangled noise, as he puffed his cheeks out to prevent laughing. “Shit that was the worst accent I’ve ever heard.”

You tilted your back, laughing loudly as he snorted, unable to contain himself. “Thanks for your honesty, yours was just as awful.” You tried to compose yourself.

“I’m not the one that comes from the Aretian aristocracy though.” He said through a fit of giggles. You scoffed, shoving him slightly, giggling more when you had to grab his arm to keep him from stumbling over.

Once the laughter died down, Ridoc had started to talk your ear off again, but of course your focus went elsewhere. Your breath caught in your throat, the amusement on your face slipping.

Bodhi was shamelessly staring at you when you looked over this time. His eyes dark, and stone faced watching the side you resided on. He tilted his head back, draining the remainder of his drink. You couldn’t help to watch the expanse of his throat as he drank the rest of his drink, watching how his Adam’s Apple bobbed as he did so.

You gulped quietly, suddenly imagining how it would be to nip at the column of his thick neck. If he would squirm under your touch or make any soft noises if you kissed up his jaw…you were just torturing yourself at this point.

He the. swung his leg over his seat, muttering something to the pretty redhead, not waiting for a response as he made his way towards you.

Shit.

You panicked drifting back to the drunk man in front of you.

“So did you have—like—a betrothed before this?” Ridoc asked, rubbing the back of his neck, still oblivious you hadn’t been listening. “Is that why we’ve never seen you hook up with someone?!” He gasped as if he solved the biggest mystery, connecting non existent dots.

You could throttle him, trying not to watch the towering figure approach you.

“No, no, no!” You covered your face in your hands, cheeks flushing. “It never got that far, well there were a few arrangements that never went through.”

“Damn, your parents were slacking.” He scoffed jokingly.

“Ridoc,” you glared at him. Any amusement or relief from Ridoc now gone, hitting a nerve within you. The thought of your late parents always causing an ache in your chest and a knot in your stomach.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up,” Bodhi finished for you, coming up right behind him. He jumped, obviously startled by the new presence, and that it was Bodhi nonetheless. But he quickly recovered, turning to the taller man.

“You always jump right in at the most convenient times, handsome boy?” He questioned in a teasing tone. Handsome boy?

Bodhi glowered, stepping closer to your squad mate. “Call me that again—”

“Bo!” A high pitched shrill voice cut him off. It resembled nails on a chalkboard causing you to wince. Ariante appeared from behind Bodhi, a bright bubbly smile as she stumbled around him, grabbing his arm for support. “You didn’t wait for me.” She pouted playfully.

You had to fight the noise of disgust that wanted to escape your lips, but your facial expression gladly showed what you couldn’t verbally. The rational side of you knew you shouldn’t be reacting this way to a girl you’ve never met. You were past the point of rational though.

She then acknowledged you, her eyes a bright teal that sparkled sticking out her manicured hand. “I’m Ariante.”

You subtly glanced at your hands that were unkempt, nails nearly to the nubs with hangnails.

Gods, she really was everything you weren’t even down to the fingers.

You politely stuck your hand out, limply clasping hers. You hoped she wouldn’t feel your calloused fingers or notice how unladylike your hands were compared to hers as you introduced yourself.

“You know Bo?” She mused. Her hold still on him, despite her being perfectly stable. And the way his nickname came out of her mouth, you think you could regurgitate everything you’ve consumed today.

You offered a strained smile. “We grew up together actually.”

“How sweet!” She practically squealed. “I think it’s great how close knit all of you are!”

The tone deaf statement snipped the final straw of your patience and self control. No, you couldn’t let the feelings lay idly underneath any longer.

“I would say we all are,” you nodded. “I guess that’s what happens when all your parents are murdered in front of you.” You said it as if it was the most casual thing to leave your lips. The smile she wore faltered, and you could see Ridoc shove his hands in his pockets, whistling.

“Y/n…” Bodhi warned.

It could be treason speaking so freely of this, you hadn’t cared at the moment.

“What?” You said innocently, brushing off the warning look you know so well. She had started to sputter an apology, but you cut her off. “But how does such a sweet thing like you know Bodhi?” You asked, a smile growing sinisterly.

In your peripheral vision, you see Bodhi’s face pale.

“We’re acquainted.” He quickly answered, getting out of her grip as he reached over and grabbed the water out of Ridoc hands that were nearly empty from him constantly spilling. He gulped the water like a fish needing water, clearly uncomfortable.

“Very acquainted.” She fluttered her lashes towards him, tone suggestive. Brushing off your awkward interaction.

You made a noise of understanding. Everything you thought was confirmed by two words. Your thoughts lingering and spiraling. The idea of Bodhi intertwined with someone else was nauseating…even infuriating. Everything had drowned out by your heartbeat in your ears, Ridocs words were now inaudible, but assuming he was making a joke. Ariante shrilled giggles didn’t even affect you.

Why were you so mad? You had no right, you’ve been so awful to him the last couple of years—there was never a chance for you. Every interaction you two have had was just rekindling your friendship the past week not meaning anything more. Every poke and prod from your group of friends was something they misinterpreted between the two of you. You knew you shouldn’t have thought too hard on their words and jests, but deep down you only felt crushed of the hope there could have been.

Crack. You looked down at your glass that had been in your hand, the glass in between your knuckles nearly crushed.

The group flitted to you and the cup, even some of the surrounding patrons looked towards you warily.

“Are you alright?” Bodhi was the first to speak up.

“Just absolutely peachy.” You murmured, sliding the object towards the other side of the bar.

“Wow, all you riders are so strong.” Ariante laughed nervously. If this could have been any worse, you weren’t sure if you wanted to punch something or cry now.

“Excuse me,” fighting the lump in your throat. Standing up quickly walking towards the nearest exit without a word.

You walked outside, not quite being able to comprehend what just happened in the matter of seconds. Clenching and unclenching your fists, your chest heaving as everything felt as if it was closing in, pacing on the cobblestone outside the tavern. The smell of incoming rain permeating the humid air that blanketed over the quaint town. Usually a smell that eased your mind, was an overbearing semblance to the internal storm inside you.

“Y/n!” Bodhi called out your name, walking out the door you walked out of moments prior. The bass in his voice stoked the fire that formed in the pit of your stomach, ready to burn you from the inside out. Turning on your heel you faced the 6’3 man, brows already furrowed in glaring daggers towards him, chest still heaving erratically unable to control your breaths.

“You need to breathe.” He didn’t let your behavior deter him. His tone smooth and even, several feet away, not meeting your gaze like if he did he would combust into flames from your glare.

You scoffed, “shouldn’t you be inside with Ariante?” Her name dripped off your tongue with venom.

He opened and closed his full lips, setting his hands on his hips; absolutely dumbfounded. “Y/n…” he said through staggered breath. “I came here with you tonight.” He took a few steps towards you cautiously. “I came up to talk to you at the bar, trying to leave her with her friend.” His focus seemed to be on the wall behind you, and not your own eyes as he still walked towards you. “I followed you out here, leaving her in there.” His words slow, as he stepped right in front of you. “Does it look like I give a fuck about her?” He didn’t let you answer.

“Has everything this past year made it look like I give fuck about anyone else, but you?”

Despite the tug in your heart you felt at his words, pulling you out of your blind rage and jealousy for a split second—it was frustrating how he refused to look you in the eyes.

“You were letting her hang all over you tonight, how can I believe that?!” You held your chest with one arm, the other outstretched to the door.

He gave an aggravated shout, lunging and grabbing your arms. You stiffened at his touch, his hands were just as hot as you felt. He seemed to notice as well, flinching at the realization, but his hold stayed secure on you. He leaned down, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.

“If you watched my every move, you would have noticed I wasn’t interested in her. I was only watching you the whole night.” That Gods forsaken deadly calm tone sent a shiver down your spine despite the heat you felt. “Now lift your arms up.” He ordered, the sentence barely above a whisper.

His usual honeyed brown eyes finally locked with yours, dangerously darkened. A silent gasp leaving your mouth agape, unable to pull away from his dark orbs submitting to his quiet demand, your arms rising up slowly.

His rough calloused skin brushing your arms ignited a solely different fire within you as he slid the sweater off your frame. “Fuck, you’re burning up.” He muttered, throwing the sweater on the cobblestone leaving you in the corseted tank top you had on underneath. Lightning flashed in the skyline, thunder following a moment later, and rain started to pour from the clouds moments later. The droplets are warm from the summertime, but still cooler than both your skin, creating a steam that ghosts around the both of you.

“So are you,” you said breathlessly. “Do you have any idea why?” You two were so close your chests brushed together, every time one of you breathed. You anticipated what he would say next, but Bodhi kept quiet, tugging on his lip, seeming to be fighting a battle with himself. He turned away from you, rubbing a hand over his face, looking up at the rain stricken sky.

“You do know don’t you?” You rasped.

“I just want to preface I wanted to tell you—”

‘Don’t. You. Dare. Tawny. One.’ Cleasaí dangerously seethed through your head.

It had been silent on the other side of the bond all night, you tugged the invisible string to her countless times, but no answer. Now she wanted her presence known? Known to someone that couldn’t hear her nonetheless.

‘She deserves to know what you’ve been hiding.’ Bodhi glowered. You were still watching him, and he hadn’t opened his mouth…and he heard your dragon?

A new deep sophisticated tone entered your mind, ‘Cleasaí the inevitable is going to happen—‘ Cuir?

‘That I’ll find out?’ You stood in that mental art studio you were taught to use as your source for grounding. The door wide open letting in the thoughts and voices that freely flew through your mental guards. That one invisible string that led to the door seemed to have an added two now.

“Shit,” Bodhi hissed.

“How long?” You gritted your teeth, focusing on the man in front of you. He stayed quiet. “How long did you know?” You repeated louder.

He looked at the ground, “since my threshing.”

You tensed, how come he knew, but you had been clueless this whole time?

‘It’s not ideal to have one rider running from the other while their supposed mated dragons aren’t even on speaking terms.’ Cuir explained.

You fought the tears that lined your eyes, ‘he gets to know, while I’m left in the dark?!’

‘That was for Cleasaí to tell you, my rider had no choice to listen to us dragonkind.’ Cuir explained with a steeliness.

‘And I told her I would tell her in due time.’ Cleasaí chuffed in the corners of your mind.

It felt crowded in your brain, two additional voices, on top of your grappling emotions. You inhaled deeply, blinking tears away furiously.

“Y/n,” Bodhi came towards you. “I wanted to tell you.”

“When was I going to be told?” You snapped. “When you graduate?!” A couple tears now silently slip down your cheeks.

You didn’t know where to point the frustration at. Cleasaí should have told you it was her responsibility, but if Bodhi wanted to talk to you so badly that would have been the topic to start with.

“Our luck would be they would stick you in Samara like Xaden!” You shouted.

“When was I supposed to tell you? When you were running the other direction?! Or would you have preferred a note during Battle Brief only for you to go into a volatile meltdown?” He argued.

You laughed harshly, “I would have not—”

“Oh yes you would have.” Bodhi rolled his eyes. “That’s why Xaden warned me not to.”

Your eyes widened, “Xaden knew?”

‘Why wouldn’t the Wingleader know?’ Cleasaí snorted humorlessly.

‘I don’t want to hear it from you.’ You growled shutting the mental shield up from her and hopefully Cuir. You didn’t know how this all worked.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “He’s known since before you even crossed the parapet.”

“Does anyone else know?” You crossed your arms.

“Assumedly Violet, but no one else.”

Your eyes narrowed, she seemed to know everything didn’t she?

You grew quiet, mulling over everything as the rain was the only sound that filled the streets. You felt betrayed, not only by the creature that put their faith into you and vice versa, but by the man you had grown to love. Was that why you had felt like your irritation was an out of body experience earlier?

“Why do you think I have a churam dependency?” Bodhi bit the corner of his thumb, looking at you.

“Can you get out of my mind?” You frowned, picking the soggy sweater up off the cobblestone. You sniffled, wiping your face, before proceeding to walk towards Basgiath, wanting to get out of the vicinity of him. To think you could have died without even knowing… what would have happened to the dragons—yet worse—him? You didn’t even want to ponder over the details that entailed that yet.

“Trust me I’m not trying, but your thoughts are so fucking loud.” He muttered, following you.

“Then can you not follow me?” You turned, walking backwards wiping wet hair out of your face. The sting in your eyes is almost blinding from fighting the glaze of tears.

“It’s not safe to walk by yourself this time at night.” He said as if it was obvious.

“I’ll be fine,” you tried to reassure as you slipped the dagger out of your top, you tucked between your breasts when getting ready.

“You’ve been drinking, Y/n. That’s not going to do shit.” He tried to catch up to you, but you were a step ahead, even walking backwards.

“I feel stone cold sober at this moment.” You half lied, quickly turning back around, putting the dagger back where you kept it. You didn’t want him to see how your lip trembled, and you were ready to break. That was the last thing you needed was to have a ‘volatile meltdown’ in front of him. Though that’s what this whole night felt like, a tantrum of a fever dream.

You two came to a fork in the path that led to Basgiath from Chantara. You may have forgotten which path you took earlier in the night. So you hoped as you veered left, you would be going the right way, anything to just get away.

But his hand caught your arm, pulling you around to face him.

“I just got you back, I’m not letting you just be barely out of my reach again.” He seethed, his grip firm, but gentle. His touch was still blistering against your own skin.

“I’m not doing it, Y/n. I’ve already spent years running for you when you just kept running backwards for whatever reason!”

The tears had silently begun to fall again down your cheeks, this time unable to stop. “Do you want the reason, Bodhi?” You could feel yourself start to shake as the words left your mouth. “Because I love you!” You finally admitted, the confession a hushed whisper.

You watched with tears flowing freely as he staggered back a couple steps at what you said. He remained quiet as you continued. “I was never meant to love someone freely. And everyone I loved left—”

Your declaration is cut off by his lips smashing to yours. A primal fiery heat as your lips connected, his hands cupping your jaw, your lips melted with his realizing he was kissing you. The taste of the saltiness from your tears mixed with the essence of alcohol on both your lips was dizzying.

This was everything you could have imagined and more since you were a young woman. Everything you wanted the past five years. You felt his thumbs brush underneath your chin as you relished the feeling as you continued to kiss him with a fervor you never experienced. Your hands sliding up his chest around the back of his neck, gripping on his wet dark curls you’ve always admired. A soft sigh left his lips, and it was a noise you could listen to forever, but of course your thoughts spiraled.

A much more important secret was withheld from you, not only by him, but Cleasaí. A petty love confession that you withheld as a way to protect yourself and what you thought would protect him, when the secret of bonded dragons affected four beings outweighed it all. Whether it was his choice or not.

You pulled away abruptly. “I-I can’t.” You said, feeling your own heart break.

“What do you mean you can’t?” He sputtered, confused.

“Me professing my love doesn’t change any of the circumstances.” You shook your head, letting go of him reluctantly. “If anything it only adds to the risk of this whole situation.”

You needed to think about everything thoroughly, and away from him. If not, you might not think straight. You had to go.

“Y/n,” Bodhi pleaded desperately. He watched you turn and make your way back to the war college. You ignored him, even when your bones itched to turn and run back into his arms. “Do my feelings mean nothing to you?!” He shouted, standing where you left him.

Your steps faltered, and that break you felt in your chest worsened. You turned, with a strained smile on your face through your tears.

“They do, more than you could ever realize.”

Y/n is definitely Violet coded I’m sorry 😅 and the y/n lore will thicken in part 5 hehe

Thank you sm for the comments and support, it means a lot to have people that actually enjoy what I put out and try to have patience for my posting inconsistency!! I love talking with you all about it and hearing your conspiracies through out the whole series. I think there will be 2-3 more part before I finish and move on to my next ventures, but as always like, reblogs, and comments are appreciated 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[lady-of-tearshed]

Bodhi Durran masterlist

One-shots:

The healer said (Smut) (Fluff) (Angst) (X Reader)

Bodhi Durran taglist:

Artists credits:

drsoarresrex

[idk1027]

Violet: *Walks into the room looking pissed*

Xaden: Who needs to die Garrick:

Bodhi:

Ridoc:

Sawyer:

Rhiannon:

Imogen: Wrong question Xaden. Who’s dead?

[bookdragon-shenanigans]

The Empyrean as shitposts pt.2

✮ Part 1 ✮

Xaden Riorson:

Ridoc Gamlyn: (i swear if anything happens to him)

Mira Sorrengail:

Imogen Cardulo:

Brennan Sorrengail:

Garrick texting Violet:

Bodhi Durran:

Xaden to violet at the start of IF:

Tairn:

Andarna, giving violet advice: