#four is a pun making gremlin

[sunkissedkales]

i made a bad pun

Four: the forge is just up ahead

Time: you mean the four-ge

The chain: ........

[actuallyastingray]

Hello Supablr. Sorry this took forever, but I've been working on a follow up project once I'm done with these. More on that later, so for now just enjoy the takes

Skarra: Feral, cackling gremlin trying to pretend he's not empty inside. Needs a hug, possibly several hugs, but is too afraid of cooties to ask. He's either going to have a Prince Zuko level redemption or go full Anakin Skywalker

Dingaan: Dammit Dingaan! You can't be both the lovable, clueless himbo and dumb, jock bully at the same time. Pick one!

Automatic: So, if we ever get a Rookie Season 2, are we gonna see him become the third wheel in Skarra and Shakes' rivalry? Cause no joke, this guy lost his job to Shakes and has way more reason to hate him than Skarra does

Max Power: I'm not a shipper, but why are there no pairings between him and Shakes? I mean, technically there's two of him, but still

Dooma: Oh Dooma, Dooma, Dooma. The writers made such a big deal about bringing you back, and then they promptly forgot about you. Guess upstaging Skarra really isn't all that easy.

Uber: Somehow, a 6.5, 300+ lb. German muscle man is giving me more babygirl vibes then a Sailor Moon character. Also, it's hilarious when you realize he outranks his coach.

Ja Nein: The rarely seen lovechild between adorkableness and pure evil. The "first day at the unit" meme was invented for this guy specifically.

Thor: If he grows a beard, we can call him Odin

Von Eye: Why did it take me four seasons to realize his name is a pun? What is wrong with me?

Chuck: Seriously, I want to see this guy succeed. I want him train up his team, pull off a win, and feel good about it just so he can tell Toni to screw off

John Johnson: The most loveable himbo in a team that consists of equally loveable himbos

Miko Chen: The only thing not completely wholesome about him is how little screen time he gets. That's about as shameful as Ura-Giri's strategies.

De los Santos: He really needs his own Boss theme, but does that make him the bad guy? Cause lets face it, he's not the bad guy

Don Aldo: That's not how hair physics works

Ninja: The second most absent arch-rival in my history of watching cartoons. At least they both brought him back and gave him an identity as El Matador's rival. Still wish we got to see more of the tigers

Liquido: Ten years ago, if I told myself I would one day describe someone as a "sociopathic surfer-dude" I would start to question my own sanity

Andre Meda: His name is an astronomy pun, his team uses constellations as a secret formation code, and his coach has them train in outer space. This guy is a huge closet nerd, and you can't change my mind.

Vladmir Savich: They made a few half-baked attempts to make him a villain and the fanbase is having none of it. Good for him.

Riano: WHY IS THERE NOT MORE CONTENT OF HIM AND SHAKES BEING FRIENDS? They were such good friends, and we have like zero content to prove it. Do the writers not realize how much of a foil he could have been to Skarra? Riano and Shakes being best friends, and Skarra is feeling like he's been replaced, thus hating Shakes even more. Sorry for the long rant but c'mon Moonbug, this guy had so much potential

[notmoreflippingelves]

Elena of Avalor 3 and 13

and if it’s ok (if not you don’t have to answer) I have my own question. What is your favorite Elena and Esteban moment together?

3. Favourite OTP scene?

*Nervous Laughter.* Ummm...I really really like the scene that visually and thematically referenced a key moment from Beauty and the Beast (1991). And that's all I'm gonna say on that. If you know, you know.

13. Favorite quote from the series?

"We may not be able to change the past, but if we change ourselves, we have the power to change the future."

^Not really sure if this actually my favorite quote or just the one that is hitting hardest for me now. Because I just watched THAT scene from "Coronation Day" multiple times in a row and they're hitting me with all the feels right now.

Bonus: What is your favorite Elena and Esteban moment together?

Esteban's heroic sacrifice and Elena's restoring him to life with the power of Forgiveness™. The music, the writing, the voice acting, the animation (especially the animation tbh)--just everything about that sequence is *chef's kiss.*

The fact that Esteban's just chilling on the throne, but can somehow sense Elena's thwarted "blaze" spell (crystal well psychic link?) and teleports to the balcony to investigate. The fear on his face turning toward resolve just before he slams his staff to the ground to teleport in front of the grain of sand. The apology he just barely gets out before he runs out of time. The fact that the last thing he does before turning to stone is to reach out to her.

The way it takes her a moment to realize what's happening and her face cycles between confusion, horror, and finally sorrow. The way she cradles his stone face in her hands as a single tear falls slowly down her face. The quiet "I forgive you" accompanied by her curling into him and trying as best she can to embrace him.

The silver-white sparkles gradually surrounding her, transforming her dress (unrelated but white is also a very very pretty color on her in general and even prettier in this context given both the lighting and the emotional resonance). And her emotion magic spreads out and starts disintegrating the stone tablet. The way her eyes widen when she realizes that he's not gone; that her magic has saved him--just as his magic saved her.

The fact that when he emerges from his stone prison, he stumbles and ends up on his knees -just as he's fallen countless times (metaphorically and sometimes literally) over the past 45 years. Only this time she is there with hands reaching out to help him to his feet.

"Forgiveness, it's more powerful than anything I've ever felt."

Elena's emotion magic rippling out and restoring not just Esteban but everyone who has been impacted by the Shades' magic. The gray skies suddenly being replaced by bright sunlight.

Esteban grabbing Elena's scepter and being ready to throw it to her, only to have it start glowing in his hand. Elena giving him permission to use it. Esteban casting "blaze"--the first spell that Elena cast with it and the very spell she used to defeat Shuriki once and for all--to shatter Cahu's hourglass and metaphorically free himself from the Time that had trapped him for over four decades.

Elena reaching for Esteban's staff--ready to borrow his power as he had just borrowed hers in order to drag Cahu to the Spirit World. Him cautioning her not to use the scepter, because he knows its limits. The two of them agreeing to try using their powers together.

Elena literally saying "Your time is up," because even at a moment this important, she can't resist making a pun. The matching little chaotic gremlin faces just before Elena and Esteban use the staff + scepter combo and disappear off the Spirit World with Cahu.

(It was at this moment that Cahu knew she was truly, irrevocably fucked.)

Elena's test having been Esteban all all along. Esteban promising to spend the rest of his life making up for what he has done. Esteban finally handing the scepter back to Elena, only to have her jump on him and wrap her arms around him. The HUG.

Esteban finally standing back where he belongs with his family and their friends. Isa is right in front of him and we see Francisco put a hand around his grandson's shoulder as the scene fades to black.

It's all just...

[jakowskis]

Day 10 - Do you have a favorite cast member? If you’ve gotten into the behind the scenes end of the show at all, do you have a favorite cast moment or story (from bloopers, TW Declassified, convention panels, etc)?

ehehe. i specifically put this question on here so i could gush about burn <3 i didn’t appreciate him as hermann back in 2018 + he didn't really catch my eye back then, but watching torchwood made something click in my head, i think he’s the prettiest ;-; ive since gone thru a bunch of his filmography fhdksjf i adore him, he’s sooo talented n underrated. and what an absolute dork + lovely guy too, like when i was rlly fixated on him last summer i dug through tumblr shit into like, times people met him at conventions in 2013 and literally every single person was like “he was the sweetest person ive ever met” like i could not find a single negative thing about him. he’s a doll. (for burnposting you can check out my other blog, @breezebloxx, although i’m not as active lately. i hav a sizeable burn tag there hfkdsf.) guy of all time to me. love u mr gorman

but i really love the whole cast a lot (altho barrowman’s in timeout :/ jackass. no pun intended). eve especially, she’s soo funny and she brings so much life + nuance to gwen. gareth n naoko r also both such sweethearts, and kai and tom too... and theyre all so chaotic and dorky ohh i love them all sm. i love the dragon con 2013 panel, i love the 2018 hvff panel, i love the countrycide filming fiasco… i dont usually care abt tv show casts but i adore the tw cast, they make me smile :)

i actually made myself a video of my fav bloopers last year, i omitted some for length reasons bc tumblr is annoying abt uploading vids but heres four of my absolute favs fdhkfjd. the first one is the BEST i love eve's gremlin laugh so much

[rubbersoles19]

Which canon character that you redesigned in 7 AM EST do you enjoy writing for the most?

They all have good qualities!

Bully (I count him) is the no nonsense law enforcer to all this chaos, who is so past the point of being surprised at anything Mallard and Co. throw at him. But, he's always there to help - as much as he can, anyway.

Bushroot has the challenge of being a mute character, while being super expressive and emotional.

Megavolt and Liquidator we haven't seen much of yet, but they're super defensive of each other and bring a lot of emotional energy. (pun intended)

Quackerjack... Oh, Quackerjack. You've barely seen anything out of our resident clown just yet, but once you do I think you'll like the spin I took with him.

Each of the Four have their own arcs coming up, so that's gonna be great to see.

Diver has a very loving and caring center while also being the chaos gremlin that he is, and he's just here to have a fun time. If he can't find it, he'll make it.

Heck Elmo was a blast too. Confused and introverted and brilliant, and generally kinda lost the whole time.

Binkie is a sugary boss, and ain't no pansy.

See, the thing is, I only write stories and characters that I enjoy writing. So if I want to use an OG character, I twist them so I love them if I need to. I don't think I've written anyone that I've really hated writing, because I just change them. Call it lazy, but it keeps me going!

[kunoichi-kame]

okay lmao we're doing this

Footstep rapidly hit the ground.

Smoke fills the air on a cold night.

Parts of the trail behind the group are frozen over.

Four boys run away from the site, all adorned in color-coded hoodies, bandanas around their faces.

A building is on fire.

The tallest one wears all black. "I told you, I fucking told you, but did you listen? No."

The second shortest, decorated in red, rolls his eyes, "I had it under control. Besides, it's not like we left any evidence."

"Yeah, because everyone can just shoot fire from their hands," snorts the shortest, clad in blue.

"With the help of a lighter! For all they know I only had my lighter- ah shit."

Something falls on the ground.

The second tallest adorned in white stays back for a moment.

Within moments he plops a lighter into his red friend's hand.

His voice is very smooth, yet there's this slight hint of playfulness. "I suppose we didn't leave any fingerprints...however we may want to wear different shoes to work tomorrow."

The blue one looks over his shoulder.

Ughhhhh footprints.

"Zane, can't you just freeze the dirt so when the ice melts it's all mud and bam, no more footprints?"

The white one, Zane, sighs. He pulls a bag off of his back.

He unzips it. Then he unzips a small cooler bag inside of that, gripping both of them as he turns them upside-down.

"I ran out of ice trying to put out the fire."

The tallest one slows down slightly...although he's already in the back of the group.

"Maybe I can move the dirt."

"Do we have time for that?!" the blue one shrieks, immediately earning hushes from the others.

"I mean, I can try. I have a rock in my pocket."

The blue one nervously laughs. "I don't know why we're worrying, no one was there right now, it's fine no one died it's fine it's fine they might not find this for days-"

The red one snickers. "Yeah, no one's going back to the abandoned warehouse full of weird robot parts and blueprints. Nope."

"Hey, I didn't say he was never going back, I just said I don't know if he'll be back that quick."

"Speaking of be back quick," Zane begins, "we need to be back home as soon as possible, let's not forget that we have work tomorrow."

There's a long, collective groan.

---------------------------------

Sunlight shines through the window.

Sleeping bags are strewn across the floor.

The red one immediately turns his back to the light. "Five more minutes...feeling burnt out."

The blue one picks up his head in confusion. "That a dad pun?"

Red shrugs. "Sure. I blame it on taking care of that little gremlin." He vaguely gestures towards a corner of the room.

A child in a black hoodie sleeps peacefully across the room. It looks like he took most of the blankets.

-----------------

A girl with short, dark hair leans against the bathroom counter as she applies lipstick.

She seems to be contemplating asking something.

"Jay, after work, do you wanna finish fixing the toaster with me?"

The blue one, Jay, is dabbing foundation on, covering up the freckles on his cheeks. He pauses. "No offense, but...can't you fix it on your own? Not to be rude- you're cool, really cool actually- umm, I just thought you could handle that on your own. Because you're so smart and-"

"I'm spending my day with an eight-year-old boy we found in a dumpster a week ago. I think I need to unwind after, spend time with someone my age who has similar interests."

"Oh yeah, shit, I guess this is the first time we're leaving you alone with Lloyd. He's...a lot"

"Yeah."

There's a silence as Jay finishes dabbing on his makeup.

"What about Zane? Not that I don't wanna spend time with you, I'm just confused that I'm your first choice-"

"Zane's a tech enthusiast, but wouldn't exactly say he knows the inner workings of a machine."

Jay starts teasing his hair, trying to make it sit flat. The curls won't comply.

Kai wouldn't mind it if he borrowed some hair gel, would he...?

Nah, stick to a comb and water.

"I dunno, I think he was super interested in Borg's creations...especially his daughter," he mumbles.

She playfully elbows him. "Don't make fun of him for having a crush."

They both glance at each other.

She offers a smile.

He looks away.

"Fair enough," he murmurs.

The red one comes into the doorway.

"Soooo, Nya, Jay, uhhhhh, the Microwave busted."

Nya lets out a long, long sigh.

Jay just seems caught off guard by his flat hair.

He passes the hair gel over.

"Kai, buddy, I think you could use this."

--------------

Nya sits on the floor with the small child in the hoodie.

Lloyd.

"I want to watch TV," he pouts.

"We can't afford cable," she answers, staring at her phone.

"Cable? You don't have any streaming services?"

"No. I can pirate something though."

"Oh, we could afford wifi?"

She looks at the signal on her phone.

It's connected to a coffee shop across the street.

"We can say that."

"I'm bored."

"I know, give me a minute."

Lloyd stays quiet for a moment.

Slowly, he creeps over Nya's shoulder, watching as she sets up something for him to watch on her phone.

She switches tabs, revealing her home screen in the background.

It's a picture of her and Jay in front of a recently fixed oven, both of them covered in black stains, giving thumbs up. Kai's thumb is also present in the pic, showing he took it.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Lloyd asks. Something about his tone sounds innocent, but he looks mischievous.

"No, we've only known each other for a month."

"So why's that your home screen?"

"Why do you care?"

"No reason." Lloyd looks smug.

She sighs. "It was just a fun time. We fixed the oven together. I never met anyone who liked that kind of stuff as much as I do." She gives a small chuckle. "Kai busted the oven because he wanted to test his powers with more than a lighter. Then he still had the balls to take this picture of us as if he wasn't the cause of it."

Lloyd accepts this answer and nods.

"Okay, so if you two aren't dating...is Jay Cole's boyfriend?"

She opens her mouth to answer, then pauses, trying to think of an answer.

"I don't think they are right now, but I don't know if they were in the past. He gets weird when I ask about that."

The child looks as if he's trying to mentally keep track of things.

"Did you ask the others questions like this when you were home alone with them?" she asks.

He gives her a shit-eating grin. "No?"

"What, am I just filling in blanks for you?"

"I like keeping a mental tally of things. In case I need it for later."

"That doesn't sound ominous at all," she snickers.

"My dream career is to be a lord."

She smirks and raises an eyebrow. "...you mean to own land?"

"No, I mean like an evil ruler."

She hands him the phone, rolling her eyes. "Watch your cartoons. I'm gonna go fix the microwave."

His eyes sparkle as he takes the device.

"Wait what the fuck is this, what the fuck-"

"Cool it on the f-bombs, we have neighbors and the walls are thin."

"This is for toddlers!"

"You can change it! Just do not go off of that website. If any of the guys call, answer it. If my boss calls, hand it to me. Any other number, don't answer. I'll be in the kitchen, okay?"

He watches as she walks into the "kitchen," ten feet away across the room. It's a single fold-up table with a microwave on it, a sink with exposed pipes, an oven, a minifridge, and the box for said fridge, filled with food, which had been lovingly dubbed the "pantry."

Bedroom, living room, kitchen, it was all the same thing. The only part of the apartment that was a separate room was the bathroom.

"Are there any shows you recommend?" Lloyd asks.

"I don't know, I grew up in a super rural area without TV."

Lloyd curls up on the floor with the phone.

Honestly, he looks kind of sad.

"Get a blanket or something," she sighs.

"You neglected me."

"I could send you to public school. Tell me your last name and I don't know, we can try to do something."

The child hisses.

She rolls her eyes as she cleans the burnt remains of breakfast out of the microwave.

They had been trying to get a last name out of Lloyd for days. They wanted to find his family- or at least someone who cared about him- but he refused to give any leads. He probably wouldn't have even stayed here had it not been for consistent food.

She watches as he pulls a blanket around himself and hunches over the phone screen.

It's gonna be a long day.

-------------------------

Zane walks from a small kitchen to a counter.

He has a job flipping burgers.

And he isn't working alone.

"Cole, please inform the customer that her food is ready," he states.

The tallest from the night before, no longer dressed in black, but rather a colorful work uniform, sighs. He has to brush his dark hair out of his face. "You don't have to announce the food is ready every time. Just put it up here."

"I am simply being thorough."

Cole offers a smile. "Well, thanks."

He leans into a small mic by the register. "Customer number three, your order is ready."

-----------

Jay rings up a customer.

He works in a store that sells a little bit of everything.

Mental note, before he leaves, he needs to grab new batteries and a new lighter for Kai.

----------------

Kai stocks shelves in a gas station.

He thought he'd get to meet a lot of cute girls here, but nope.

Hey, he could probably buy himself a new lighter here. And bring home a new bag of ice for Zane!

--------------

The bell on the door rings.

Cole puts on a smile. "Hi, welcome to-"

Oh.

The woman making her way up to the counter is practically grey. What hair she didn't shave off is pulled into a long, jet-black ponytail.

He recognizes her.

Stay level-headed, it's fine. "Hi, how may I help you?"

She looks up at the menu.

"Give me a number five combo."

Oh FSM he hates her voice.

Zane glances over at them from the kitchen.

His eyes expand into saucers.

He frantically checks the bottom of his shoe.

He wore the right shoes today, right? Right?!

"Okay, your order will be ready in a moment," Cole chuckles.

"You look nervous," she sneers. "What, never seen a beautiful woman?"

"Something like that," he mumbles, punching in the order.

He doesn't even like women that way.

It'll be okay, she won't recognize him, he's always wearing a mask when they fight.

...well, maybe not the first time, but maybe she won't notice. She hasn't noticed yet.

She doesn't sit down, opting instead to lean on the counter and watch.

Zane's eyes occasionally dart over to her.

He's shaking a lot.

She tilts her head. "You two seem familiar."

Cole shakes his head. "You've probably just seen us working shift another day."

She squints at his name tag. "Cole...I don't think I have seen you around here?"

Zane frantically flips patties.

Cole tries to ignore his co-worker. "We've been here a while."

The woman nods slowly.

"So is this for here or to go?" Cole asks nervously.

"To go. It's not for me. It's for some guy at Borg's tower."

Zane perks up. "Borg Tower?"

"You done with my food?"

The cook sighs. "No. I was just curious if one could put in a good word with me for Borg. I have always admired his business and...."

Cole refrains from burying his hands in his face in second-hand embarrassment.

"Zane, buddy, it's not the time to try getting a new job interview."

"Sorry!" the shorter of the two carries a tray of food over to the counter.

The woman snatches the order up.

Then she pauses.

Please pay for the food please pay for the food

Oh god she's staring.

"Nah, you two definitely look familiar together."

"Probably because you've been here before, ma'am," Cole affirms, arms crossed and unmoving.

She stares at their name tags.

"Okay. Well, thanks, Zane and Cole."

She opens her mouth wide, showing off a pierced tongue and teeth filed to points, before turning around.

And she's gone.

Cole leans on the counter and lets out a long sigh while Zane tries to discreetly even his breaths, hands clasped together.

"Perhaps it is best to call out early," Zane suggests.

"No, we need the money," Cole groans.

"We can work overtime this week."

"It's fine, doubt she'll be back today. Let's just ummm, fuck, call someone-"

"Nya is at the house. Should I call her?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

--------------------

Jay really needs to stop taking cashier jobs.

He's not sure how many he's gone through.

He always shorts out the registers.

He just needs a job where he isn't involved with tech.

Right now, he's just waiting to see if his manager can do anything about this one.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt

Bzzzzzzzzzzt

Oh! That's his phone.

He was kinda hoping it was some sign of maybe-life from the computer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I don't have a lot of time, on a bathroom break, but Ultra Violet stopped by and she was acting really weird," Cole whispers.

Jay presses his lips into a thin line. "You think she knows orrrr?"

"That's the thing, we can't tell if she's up to something or if she's just a little off all the time or what. Zane's giving Nya the heads up right now."

---------------

Lloyd lies on his back as he speaks to Zane on speaker.

"So you got scared by some emo bitch?" the child giggles.

"Watch your language, please. Just let Nya know that if we come home early, this is why."

"I'm right here!" Nya shouts.

"Hold on," Zane whispers.

There's a bang.

"She knows, I think she knows," Cole says somewhat loudly.

"What?" Zane asks.

"She's at Jay's job."

--------------

"Y'know, I love batteries," the woman, Ultra Violet, whispers, leaning into the brunette's face.

"They're full of power. Do you like batteries?"

"Yeahhh. That brand's pretty good at that," Jay nervously chuckles, slightly pushing her hand out of his face.

She shoves the pack into her pocket.

"Ma'am, that's coming out of my paycheck," he mumbles.

She smiles at him. This grin is wide and far too toothy to be sincere. "I think batteries suit you."

Pretend you know nothing, pretend you know nothing pretend you know nothing

Smile and nod.

"Well, thanks for the batteries-" she squints at his name tag- "Jay," she cackles.

And she's out the door.

He's not sure if he wants to scream for help or break down crying but something's gonna blow up here.

The computer screen behind him bursts in a flurry of sparks.

Smoke rises from it.

Yeah...he's not keeping this job for long, is he?

--------------------

"I work in the middle of nowhere, she didn't come in," Kai says through a mouthful of ramen.

He was the first one to come home.

"Again, you're scared of some emo bitch," Lloyd scoffs.

"Stop talking like that. Eight-year-olds shouldn't talk like that," Kai playfully scolds.

Nya rolls her eyes as she washes out the noodle pot. "You let me cuss when I was eight."

"Yeah. You needed it. You were a stressed-out eight-year-old."

"Oh, I'm not stressed out?" Lloyd scoffs.

"No, you're just a brat."

"I'm homeless!"

"You have a roof over your head right now!"

Lloyd crossed his arms. He mumbles something obscene. Then a small "thanks," slips out.

Kai's just gonna let that slide.

The sound of the door unlocking fills the room.

"I need food," Cole groans before the door so much as cracks open.

The door slowly opens up.

Zane is always slow to open the door. He isn't a fan of the way it creaks.

In contrast to Zane's usually calm demeanor, the lanky teen makes a silent b-line to the bathroom.

Cole rushes to the kitchen and grabs the just-cleaned pot.

"I'll help you cook!" Kai offers, scrambling up off the floor.

"No, no fucking way," Nya hisses. "You're banned from anything that heats food up right now."

"Come on, all I did was try heating my food up faster...and it did that."

He recoils from a slap on the arm from his little sister.

"Just stop playing with hot things. Okay? Fuck with your lighter all you want but I am banning you from everything else."

"What about hot water?"

"Can your powers set water on fire?"

"No. I mean, I don't think so?"

"Okay, so you can have hot water."

Lloyd pokes his head into the bathroom. "Zane?"

Zane leans his head over the toilet, trying to not touch the seat.

Slowly, Lloyd takes a step toward the lanky boy.

"I am alright," Zane states. "Simply queasy."

"This normal for you?"

"It actually isn't. My nerves never get to me like this."

Lloyd nods. That's another mental note to take. "Do you want dinner?"

He seems to perk up a bit. There's this little sparkle in his eyes. "I can help cook dinner!"

"I think Cole's already-"

Zane rushes to his feet. "Cole cannot cook."

In moments, Lloyd stands in the bathroom alone, Zane long since shoving past him and saying sorry.

--------------

"I'm going job hunting tomorrow," Jay mumbles, halfheartedly stabbing at his bowl of ramen. "Today was a new one. I know I can fry tech but this one just exploded! There was no salvaging it."

Nya stares at the components of the toaster. Her voice is low as she says, "I feel that." Then she turns to Kai from across the room and raises her voice. "I think Kai might've fried this one completely."

Jay puts down the bowl. "Sorry, I'm not helping you, am I?"

He picks up a screwdriver and gestures for Nya to hand him a piece of the disassembled toaster.

------------------

Zane grabs fistfuls of ice, cramming them into a small insulated bag.

Then that goes into a backpack.

He puts on the backpack.

Kai shoves a lighter into the pocket of his pants.

Jay tosses batteries into the pockets of both his hoodie and his pants.

The three of them turn to Cole.

Cole shrugs. "I just need to grab a rock off the ground and we're all set."

Kai sighs. "Let's go-"

"You don't say let's go," Cole interrupts. "I'm the leader."

"Uh, no, I am. I'm the chosen new guy who fixed all your problems, right?"

Cole playfully shoves Kai. "I'd trust Jay to lead before I trust you. He knows what's going on."

Jay looks up from a stray thread on his hoodie. "No, I don't."

Cole rolls his eyes. "I lead for a reason."

Zane slowly unlocks the door.

And open.

Ever so slowly, do not let it creak-

Kai throws the door open.

Zane still ends up being the one to close the door, ever so gently.

Footsteps.

Footsteps

footsteps

Nya listens until she can't hear them anymore.

"They know I know they sneak out at night, right?" Lloyd asks. He's perfectly tucked into bed. He would look serene if not for his gaze burning into Nya.

"Maybe, but that doesn't change that you need to go to bed," she sighs.

"Why don't you go with them?"

"I don't have any powers. Besides-"

"Okay, how's that stopping you? You seem strong."

"I mean, I worked as a blacksmith for a while, and I'm a mechanic..." she cuffs her hand around her forearms. She definitely has a fair amount of muscle definition. "...I probably could take someone down...but no, now I need to keep an eye on you."

"Why would I run away? You guys give me food."

She smiles. "So you like it here?"

Lloyd closes his eyes. "Not really."

"Okay, give me a last name and-"

"Montgomery."

"What?"

"That's my last name," the boy murmurs. "I'm telling you, you won't find anything on me. Now stop asking."

She stares at him as he falls asleep for real.

Maybe she can find something about his family.

She boots up her phone.

Open the search engine.

...what should she look up?

'Lloyd Montgomery missing person'

No luck.

'Montgomery missing child'

Well...that brought up a few Montgomeries, but not this one.

She has to dig deeper.

---------------------------

Cole steps out the door.

Everything's fine.

Sure, they kinda came to the conclusion that they were being stalked, and that's how Ultra Violet found their jobs...but it's fine.

Hard to imagine her being a stalker. She doesn't seem...savvy enough.

HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The teenager finds himself jumping back, a mere inch away from stepping on an animal.

It's long and a bright blue-teal...and scaley.

It's a snake.

What's such a brightly colored animal doing here? He's seen small, dull-colored snakes a few times, but this?

It's kinda fascinating.

Whatever. Lloyd isn't leaving the apartment and everyone else in the house should be smart enough to avoid it...

Snap a pic.

Send it in the group chat.

Carefully step around it.

Unlock the door.

Crack it open.

"Hey, Jay?"

Jay scrambles up from the floor. "Yeah?"

Cole opens the door wider, gesturing at the animal on the ground. "Can you maybe...take care of this? While the rest of us are at work?"

The short boy's eyebrows furrow. "...you know I'm supposed to be applying for jobs, right?"

"It won't take you too long. I gotta go."

And just like that, Cole is running off.

Jay's eyes creep over to the small creature.

Eugh. 

He hates snakes. 

His parents' junkyard was always crawling with these bright red snakes. They never seemed too vicious, but to be fair, he never dared to come close to them and they only came out at night. It was easy enough to avoid them. Although something about those little reptiles always felt off, on the rare occassions he came close to encountering them...and he feels the same way about this one.

Something about its eyes seem uncanny. And those scales are a little too bright.

...let's not waste the day off.

'Day off.'

Sure, let's call it that.

Poor Zane, today was his day off but he not only went to work, but went in several hours early, begging for any extra work he can get, in the hopes he could make up for any income lost for Jay's firing.

Okay, just take care of this, it won't take long, then he can start applying for jobs. Oh, then once he's done with that, he can try getting some sort of info about Lloyd.

...speaking of the little guy...

"Lloyd, hand me the broom!"

--------------

An impossibly pale woman with silver hair sits in the backseat of a car.

The driver of the car looks at her in the rearview mirror. "So, your dad asked me to take you around town, have a little field day."

"Yes. And he asked that you bring me back this time."

His hands grip the steering wheel. One hand is metallic, held together by mechanisms and screws. It has a death grip on the object. "You remember that?"

"All fourteen times? Yes."

Oh. He's dead.

He looks around.

The light shines through his glass eye, refracting red-ish light onto the driver's side of the car.

"Listen, I just think your technology is too amazing to not be put to good use. Imagine what you could do if you were made for offense!"

"You tried installing guns into my arms the last time. You broke my body. You tore my arms out and then-"

"It was an accident, you just fell. And then your mind made up that story to rationalize it. Just like every other time."

"Yet I'm always being dismantled when I am with you."

"You're a clumsy little thing when you get out of the house. Gotta give it to your dad, he coded quite the imagination on you."

She leans back, arms and legs crossed. "Mister mechanic, what is your real name? I would like to file a formal complaint. It is a miracle that my father never-"

"Your father is a genius but he's short-sighted. How do you think I always get away with it? He's trusting. He hears me out, then gets back to his work."

...what he said is true.

But she doesn't like that.

"I do not want this field day."

"Listen, if you don't comply, I will sell you for scrap, just like I did with your fourteen other bodies after Borg said you were broken beyond repair."

"I said I changed my mind. I do not want this field day."

"Come on, I'll buy you ice cream-"

"I am not a child. You will not bribe me with sweets. I wish to go home."

"I mean you're what, two years old?"

"I am a grown woman. I have the mind and body of a grown woman. And my grown woman mind is telling you to please take me home. I am done playing naive."

The man, the Mechanic, stops the car at a light. "Pixal, listen, your dad trusted me to-"

The door opens.

She just fucking opened the door. Just like that.

She storms away.

Ah shit. Borg's gonna be pissed. This time he lost the bitch, which isn't new, but instead of her getting rock 'em sock 'em-ed during some (maybe slightly illegal) upgrades, he just fucking lost her due to her own free will.

Fuck. Where's his phone? He needs to call his boss...

...or he can call Killow or Ultra Violet.

Maybe all three.

-----------------

Lloyd watches as Jay prods at the snake with a broom.

"I promise that if you die from a snake bite, your boyfriend and girlfriend will probably start making out with each other. So don't die."

Jay rolls his eyes.

He's 'heavily armored'...

AKA he's wearing oven mitts and swapped his sandals out for proper shoes.

"Cole doesn't like women and Nya..."

"How'd you know I was talking about them?" Lloyd teases.

"There's only one woman in my life who isn't my mom, aaand Cole..."

This is probably the largest smile anyone's gotten out of Lloyd. "Do I get to hear the story? Oh my god, were you two actually dating?"

"No! No...we almost did...'almost'...it's embarrassing...maybe I misread some signals...I fumbled it, okay?"

"I'm listening."

"What- no. No. I'm not telling you that story, it stays between me and Cole. Now let me get rid of this thing."

The snake slips off of the broom handle.

Try again.

And it slips again.

And again.

And ag-

"Dude, you know that's not gonna work, right?" Lloyd cackles.

"Okay, so you try."

Actually, should he be letting the kid do this?

Too late, Lloyd already grabbed the broom.

Within moments, the small serpent goes flying.

It lands in a bush. One of the ones put there to make the apartments seem kinda nice from afar. Like, really afar.

Huh. Guess that takes care of that.

Still, some sense of paranoia drove Jay to pull Lloyd inside the apartment, slamming the door shut.

"Can I have the story of you and Cole now?"

Jay claps his hands together, offering an all-too-fake smile. "Can you give me more information about where you came from?"

"Touche."

-------------------------

Pixal storms into a nearby fast food joint.

She is actually hungry. Plus, it'd be a nice place to call her father.

The cashier is rather muscular. Despite the way his hair droops in his face, his eyes seem kind and gentle, even through the smile he's undoubtedly being paid to wear.

Ugh, there's a line.

It's fine, it gives her time.

She pulls out her phone. It's for emergencies only. Clearly, this is an emergency.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Dad, please pick up.

Five.

"Hello, please leave a message for-"

Okay. Okay. Fine. Dad's just like this. He does this. He's busy.

The cashier calls for the next in line.

It's the person in front of her.

Then she'll be up next and then she can get her food and-

Bzzzzzzzt

Bzzzzt

She quickly answers the phone.

"Pixal! What do you need?" He's always so chipper, even when receiving a call from the emergency phone. "Do you need money? Advice? Fatherly reassurance? Have you had some sort of epiphany that you'd like to share?"

The last epiphany so large that she had to use the phone was when she was learning about the nuances of humanity and felt fascinated by the concept of gender and immediately had to share with her father that she was not an 'it' but rather a 'she.'

He was so happy when she told him. He seemed so proud of her for being able to express herself like that. They immediately got to work on customizing her body to present herself in her ideal image later that day.

...he's about to be way less proud.

"Dad, I ran away from Mister Mechanic."

"Oh! Did you get curious about something and get lost?"

"No, I mean I ran away from him. I do not trust him."

"Why? He's an excellent worker!"

"Have you ever considered how suspicious it is that I am usually in need of repairs after you send me off with him? If not entirely demolished. Or how after my bodies are scrapped, you never find the pieces?"

"That is...strange, yes. What are you saying?"

"He..." she realizes she had been raising her voice, "...he keeps attempting to make unauthorized modifications on me. He wishes to turn me into a weapon."

"Oh, dear. I will look into this."

There's a long moment of static and keys clicking.

Then one satisfactory click, as if he just hit send on something.

She looks down at the ground. "You're not mad? None of this is shocking to you?"

"Well, I'm unsure what is true, but I will say, I am proud of myself for coding your brain. You had the independence to run away! That's marvelous regardless!"

It's true, the man is short-sighted and trusting. He's usually preoccupied with work, so he takes things at face value.

But yay, at least it means he could hear her out?

Maybe he'll investigate since she pointed it out this time?

She loves her father but by The Master, he's terribly scatterbrained sometimes.

"...thanks, dad. I am about to send you my location, alright?"

"Yes! I can send a taxi out there for you."

She wants to keep her dad on the phone. It feels safe...but it is the emergency phone, she probably should hang up. Save some battery.

"Thank you. I love you!"

"I love you too! Let me know if you need anything else."

Click

She places her hands together as she waits in line.

The cashier calls her up.

She already knows what she wants. She had been eyeing it throughout the whole conversation with her dad.

"May I please have a number nine combo? With fries, please."

The cashier nods and punches her order in.

"Zane, buddy, here," the cashier says.

His name tag says "Cole."

Hm. Seems like a suitable name for him.

The other one, the 'Zane,' comes over and takes the paper.

Something about Zane...

His movements...something in his eyes...small nuances familiar only to her...

No. She's the only person like this that exists, to her knowledge.

Only Cyrus Borg has this technology, and he refuses to sell it. He pretty much only created her because he wanted to, there was no business incentive, he simply wanted a life to care for.

The movements of the fry cook fascinate her still.

She wouldn't mind watching him for a while. He's quite the curiosity in her eyes.

-------------------

Jay washes his hands after using the bathroom.

He may not be leaving the house, but he could throw on some makeup for the fun of it...Nya does it all the time. She never wears lipstick to work but she will wear it around the house whenever she wanted- which was often.

He could take a page out of her book.

His hand creeps towards the makeup bag on the counter.

Just a little concealer.

No.

He has to focus.

He needs to put in more job applications.

But he can see an ugly constellation in his freckles if he stares for too long...

No.

Be strong.

Back away from the makeup.

Leave the bathroom.

One step backward.

Two steps.

Three.

Four.

Turn on his heel-

And scream.

Yeah, he totally intended to scream.

Can you blame him?

All Lloyd can say is "Hey. Look who got inside."

The blue snake is coiled around the boy's arm as he plays with a couple of toilet paper rolls that he dubbed his 'action figures.'

"You just let that thing crawl on you?!"

"Slither, and yeah! I gave it some chips. It seems pretty calm."

"You fed it?! Crap, Lloyd, if that thing's anything like you it's not gonna want to leaveeee noooooo."

Lloyd stands up. "I can let you hold him."

"N-no thanks."

"I think he's pretty cute."

"Sure. Okay, that's your pet now."

"Wow! I can't have toys but I can have a whole pet snake?"

"Yeah, sure, I don't know, I don't want it here and I have to talk it out with the others but sure, you can keep him for the next few hours. Sure."

Lloyd smiles.

It's fine it's fine just keep applying to jobs, the snake is Lloyd's problem now.

--------------------

When Zane finally noticed Borg's daughter at the counter, his heart dropped.

He personally ran her food over to her.

She smiles. "You're quite an interesting person," she coos.

He's struggling to find words.

"How does one get a job at your father's company?"

"I do not take business offers."

He steps back, trying to recompose himself. "Of course. That makes sense."

Cole clears his throat. "The line," he says in a stern yet equally soft manner.

Zane claps his hands together. "My apologies."

The woman takes one last long look at Zane before settling down at a table.

He could feel the way her gaze burned a hole into him, into his face as if she were searching for something.

Right. Work.

Go back to work.

-------------------

"Okay, so I can't touch the microwave or the toaster right now because I'm stressed," Jay chuckles. "What do you want for lunch?"

Lloyd walks over to the kitchen and starts going through the mini-fridge.

"I can pop in some pizza rolls for myself."

"You know how to use the oven?"

Lloyd's gaze goes blank. "...no?"

He could use the microwave but Jay didn't mention it so...

Play helpless, then they don't expect anything from you.

Jay sighs.

"Can you put in some extra ones so I can feed this little guy?" the younger boy asks.

Deep breath. "Can snakes even eat pizza rolls?"

Lloyd responds with a shrug. "I mean, I fed him half a bag of potato chips and he seems fine."

Jay opens his mouth.

No.

No.

Self-control.

Do not scold the child.

"I am going to make enough pizza rolls to feed me and you. You hear me? Only enough to feed Jaaaayyyy and Llooooyyyyd. Only enough to feed the humans in this room. No food for snakes."

Lloyd smiles and nods, ever so un-innocently.

-----------------

Borg's daughter fled the building in a panic.

Nobody thought much of it.

But Cole noticed something- someone- grey in the window.

He gestured for Zane to come look.

"You don't think it's them?" Cole suggests.

Zane checks his phone.

He has a few hours left on his shift.

...well, he already worked extra...

Make up for it tomorrow?

How would he even follow them though?

"Hold on," Zane mumbles, grabbing a broom, and swiftly making his way to the door.

By the time he got out there, they were already gone.

-------------

"Come on, hold out your hand, I promise he won't bite," Lloyd giggles, shoving his arm in Jay's face.

The tiny serpent picks its head up, staring at the blue boy.

Without warning, the animal drops itself from the small child's arm.

This is the first time anyone's heard Lloyd shriek.

Jay finds himself on the floor.

A writhing noodle made out of scales crawls through his fingers.

He caught it.

He caught it.

Oh shit, he caught it.

Oh fuck. He's holding it.

Don't throw it. Do not throw it.

Lloyd doesn't need to scream again. They don't need their neighbors to call CPS.

Okay. He's holding the danger noodle. Okay.

Why does it look weirdly disgusted with him?

It has really interesting eyes...kinda scary.

Don't scream. Don't scream.

"Little guy's actually kinda cute," Jay nervously chuckles.

The animal tightens its grip around his wrist.

Oh. That's not good.

A scream doesn't escape, but rather a long, hoarse, high-pitched sigh.

-----------------

The gas station is boring.

It's right on the outer limits of Ninjago city, which would be great...except it's rare that people travel in and out. Most things are centralized in the city. Sure, many people come in and out daily, usually truck drivers, maybe the rare tourist to or from another area, but it's certainly not bustling with life.

And then a large man comes in.

His skin is very similar to Ultra Violet's.

Kai is almost tempted to offer him some moisturizer.

Killow. Big Man.

Kai watches as the man goes around the store, grabbing food and drinks in his giant fists.

A bag of jerky.

A candy bar.

A bag of tiny powdered donuts.

An energy drink.

A beer.

He stops in front of some bagged goods.

Popcorn.

A bag of nacho chips.

He goes back to the drinks.

Water.

Soda.

It's amazing how much he can fit in his arms.

He plops it all on the counter.

"Heh, road trip, I take it?" Kai asks.

Killow stares him down. "Indeed. I have a broad and a bitch in the car. Then when we get there we have some bastards who requested some snacks too."

"That's nice," Kai mumbles.

Killow's speech pattern fascinates him. How can someone be so vulgar yet so formal all at once?

"Oh, and you wouldn't mind if I get gas on pump number four, would you?"

Kai nods. "Yeah, um, actually, that pump has some problems, mind if I go assist you?"

"I bet I can figure it out."

"No, please, I insist. It's my job protocol."

No, it isn't. The pump has no problems. Even if it did, this wouldn't be the way to go about it.

Kai leads Killow to the pump.

Somehow, Kai ended up filling up the car, there were no instructions. He takes in the sight in front of him.

Ultra Violet is practically hanging out of the window of the car.

Killow reaches into one of the bags and hands her the beer.

"It's bad bitch tiiimeee," the woman cackles. "Also, the broad in the backseat is upset because she didn't finish her shitty double-decker. Might wanna give her something, get her to shut up."

Kai feels like the woman in the backseat looks familiar, as if he's seen her in some sort of ad or the news or something...for some sort of tech, maybe?

Killow reaches through the window and hands the woman a powdered donut.

Only then does Kai notice that the familiar woman is handcuffed.

Who cares about familiarity, this woman is handcuffed!

He didn't think at all, he opened the door just like that.

Oh, it was that easy? They just left the thing unlocked?

He reaches for the woman, guiding her out of the car.

Then his face collides with the disgusting, sticky leather seat.

Slowly, his vision fades to black.

-----------------

"How come you aren't shorting out your phone?" Lloyd asks.

"It's the rubber case," Jay mumbles, laying on a pile of blankets, scrolling through the internet results for 'Lloyd Montgomery.'

"Hey, did you by chance give us a fake name?"

"If I did, why would I admit to it?"

"Fair enough," Jay sighs.

The teal snake is still coiled around the blue boy's arm.

Lloyd lays on his stomach, playfully kicking his feet. "Okay so dirt I have on you: you have a soft spot for dark hair and muscles, you're scared of snakes, you love those building brick model kit things, you wear makeup, you have ADHD and you're unmedicated, what else?"

"I don't see how any of that is dirt. Everybody in this house knows all of those things more or less. None of it is suspicious. I think what you mean is 'wow, this is what I got to know about you because we spent so much time together.'"

"I know how to manipulate you," Lloyd says with the biggest grin.

"Not really. Again, everyone else knows."

"But I know how to manipulate people."

"You sure? I'm pretty sure we're the ones who got you by the neck with promises of food."

"...shut up."

The door opens.

It's slow.

Yeah, that's obviously Zane.

The tall boy looks down at the ground outside the door. "I see that you took care of the snake situation?"

Jay raises his arm, showing off the animal. "Not even close! But hey, you're good with animals, right?"

It was true. Zane's carefully removed many rats and squirrels from the premises.

His hands are naturally cold. Maybe it's poor circulation, maybe it's his powers, who knows.

With a small sigh, he rubs his hands together, trying to warm them up before touching a cold-blooded animal.

The snake easily coils around his arm.

Zane gently pats the serpent on the head.

It flicks its tongue out.

He knows its doing that as a way of 'seeing' due to poor eyesight, but he'd like to think of it as a friendly gesture.

He walks over to the door.

Gently, he sets it on the ground.

Well, he tries to, anyways.

It clings onto him for dear life.

Shouldn't it be eager to get away? He's physically colder than most people.

Zane didn't even notice the sound of footsteps coming toward him until a pair of hiking boots come into view.

"Couldn't get rid of it?" Cole asks, his shadow casting over Zane.

"I don't think- oh."

The snake slithers off of Zane's arm, earning a slight "aw," from the usually white-clad boy.

And then it climbs up Cole's leg.

Cole sighs. "How much you wanna bet this thing is venomous?"

"Considering the bright coloring and the shape of the teeth...and the scale pattern...hm. It looks strange. I can't tell. Fifty-fifty?"

"He's really calm!" Jay shouts. "I was scared at first but then he just napped on my arm for like a good two hours!"

"Okay, I guess I can take those odds," Cole mumbles, reaching down for the pest.

He clamps his fist around the animal's body.

It practically hugs his hand.

"We're not getting rid of this thing, are we?" Cole asks rhetorically.

---------------

Nya cleans her hands with a gray rag.

She can't even remember if it's always been grey.

The car she fixed up looks beautiful. Hopefully, its owners will love it.

What time is it?

She should probably check her phone.

Oh. That's a lot of missed calls.

And they're all from Kai?

Her boss enters the garage.

A large balding man, no younger than forty. Despite his stature, he seems rather kind.

"Someone's calling for you, something about a ransom?"

What?

"Give it here," she says mindlessly.

He stretches the corded phone as far as he can.

She meets him in the middle to grab it.

There's cackling on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" Nya snaps.

A woman's voice answers. "Is this Nya Smith?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"Call me Ultra Violet, and prepare, because things are about to get ultra violent!"

"Cut the shit, what do you want?"

"Ooh, feisty, didn't expect that. Well, we got your brother hostage. It was kind of on accident, and we cooouuuld kill him right here, but what's the point of doing that on its own? So we thought maybe there's some money we can squeeze outta you."

"Where is he?"

"Just PayApp it to us. I can text you the code. Have it by midnight, mkay kiddo? And every hour that you wait, the price goes up, so be quick!"

She's already checking her phone.

Ever since they got involved in...all of this...she had maybeee snuck tracking apps on everyone's phones just in case something like this happened.

"Yeah, sure, I can do that," she lies. "I don't want any conflict, just let my big brother loose." Her voice is just a little high and a little fake.

Cackling. "See that guys! I knew we could count on the innocent baby sister to deliver. Little pussy givin up the money just like that."

Nya hangs up the phone.

Any shock is overridden with anger.

"Innocent baby sister my ass."

She marches over to a crowbar.

Yeah, that feels good in her hands. Not as sharp as she'd want, but she can hit with it and that's all that matters.

"Mind if I borrow this for the night?"

------------------

"I think it's a 'she' and hmm...she looks like an 'Ash,'" Cole mumbles, staring at the accidentally acquired pet snake.

"How'd you get all that?" Jay asks.

"I don't know, it's like she just told me with her eyes," he answers.

Zane pets it. "If we're keeping her, we need a proper tank-"

Jay claps his hands together. "Cardboard box it is."

"That would be inadequate," Zane responds.

Cole turns to Zane. "Do you have snake tank money?"

"...we shall find her the finest cardboard box, then."

"On it," Lloyd chimes, going through the 'pantry.'

Cole's phone goes off.

"Hello?"

Within moments, Lloyd sees everyone huddle around the phone.

Then they all stand up.

Then the snake is in his hands.

Cole hangs up the phone.

"Stay here, watch Ash, we need to leave ASAP, you know how to use the microwave, if we're not back within the next two days, file a missing persons case."

Lloyd's eyebrows knit together. "What's going on?"

"Kai has been kidnapped," Zane answers.

---------------------------------------

Ultra Violet scowls at her phone.

"It's been hours, this bitch still isn't paying up."

Kai is on the floor, handcuffed to a chair, long since having tipped it over. "Listen, we're tight on money, she's probably scrapping together the cash."

She sends another text through Kai's phone.

'$300

pay up now'

Press send.

Now going back to digging for info.

The grey woman waves her phone around while still looking at Kai's. "Y'know, I'm learning a lot of things about you and your friend. My little birdy is gonna have a fun time with all the things I'm sending him."

A phone goes off across the dark room.

A man makes bird noises.

--------------------

"This is fun," Zane whispers in the back of a taxi.

"The fee's gonna be ridiculous," Cole scoffs.

Jay follows someone back on Chirp, ignoring all of this.

Not sure how this person found him, but he seemed like a funny guy. A 'Fugidove42069.'

That's cute. Guy seems real edgy, with all of his pictures of birds on sidewalks and ramblings of grandeur.

So he earned a follow back.

"Do you think he's okay without us?" Zane asks, staring vacantly out the window.

Jay glances away from his phone for a moment. "Kai or Lloyd?"

Zane hums for a moment. "Both."

--------------------

Ultra Violet groans. "And now your sister- or somebody, please, someone- owes three fifty."

"No! Stop! That's our rent for the month." Kai's fake sobs turn into a laugh. "She's not paying up. Duh."

"It's fine, we can just say he was a casualty of what's about to happen," The Mechanic says smoothly. "You see, I'm gonna walk out of here with the robot dame's little head, and I'm gonna tell her dad that I did all I could but the ruffians got to her first. This place goes up in flames so her daddy thinks the rest of her body was destroyed, meanwhile, Killow drives the parts over to my apartment so I can reverse engineer them."

Kai tries his best to figure out where the man's voice is coming from."Y'know, that sounds complicated...why couldn't you just steal the blueprints if you work for the guy?"

"Shut up! I'm just a glorified intern! They don't even call me by my name, they just call me Mister Mechanic, and The Mechanic, Mechanic this Mechanic that."

Kai has to stifle a laugh. "I mean...do you have a real name orrr? Because the only thing I've heard anyone call you like, ever, is just 'The Mechanic.'"

"If I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Y'know, how many of these places do you own? This is like the third one we've busted. Do you just have a monopoly on abandoned warehouses orrrr?"

The Mechanic stands over Kai, unscrewing his prosthetic arm.

"Pretty sure you need that," Kai snickers.

Wait what is he reaching over for

Is that a gun?

He's screwing a gun in place of his arm!

"Yeah...that's way more useful than just like, keeping the hand and holding a gun," Kai jabs.

Ultra Violet pokes Kai with her boot. 

"Do you ever shut up?" she asks.

"Listen, I'm doing this on purpose in the hopes you'll let me free. At least I'm staying on topic, too. One of my roommates would've moved through ten random topics by now just for the sake of it. Oh, or the other one, he would've been taking everything so literal. Or the other other one...well. Be glad you have me. I'm giving you conversation."

There's a yell from outside the building.

Someone's attacking Killow?

Then there's a thud against the wall.

Then the door slides open.

An angry girl stands against the moonlight, crowbar in hand.

Kai turns to look at her. "Nya!"

"That's...that's your baby sister?" Ultra Violet asks.

"I'm not a baby but yeah, we can say that," Nya growls.

The man who made bird noises earlier steps into the light, grabbing Ultra Violet's hand.

He's wearing a prison uniform covered in feathers.

"I don't think she came here to pay up," he whispers.

-----------------

The three roommates climb out of the taxi.

Zane offers the softest thank you, waving goodbye.

Cole looks at his phone's map. "Okay, we have to walk a bit. You ready?"

Jay stretches a bit, then he bounces. "Watch me run. You know I can keep up with a moving car, right?"

Zane gives a small "oh."

Cole turns on the GPS. "Let's go!"

-------------

Nya found herself tossed this way and that.

One moment she was blocking an attack from Ultra Violet, the next she was being shoved to the ground by Killow.

She's pretty sure she's bruised everywhere.

And yet, she refused to give up.

She still stood up, slamming the bottom of her shoe into the bird man's face as he looked over her curiously.

She still gripped her crowbar.

All she wanted was to get her brother free, then she can go the fuck home and sleep in her not-bed.

She's not a trained fighter. None of them are. She knew vaguely how to use a sword from years of blacksmithing and testing out the products, but she was never properly taught, plus this isn't a sword, it's a crowbar.

But she will prevail.

She.

Will.

Make.

It.

Out.

Of.

Here.

Alive.

With.

Her.

Brother.

It's the least she could do for the years he spent taking care of her as more than a brother, but rather a parent.

Isn't it silly how they ended up here?

How is it that she's currently getting kicked in the back as she lies on her side on the floor of a warehouse, caught up in the middle of some sort of illegal business.

She rolls out of the way, panting.

Killow grabs the top of her head, getting ready to smoosh her face into the concrete.

She moves her head to the side.

THUD

Hah. He put all of his force downwards. He couldn't do anything if she just moved aside just a bit.

His face ate concrete instead.

She runs over to Kai, jamming the crowbar wherever she can into the handcuffs.

Then she's looking down the barrel of a gun...

No.

Not a gun.

Some sort of blaster.

Fiction often uses lasers over bullets to appear more tame, yet when face to face with the real thing...perhaps the lasers are more horrifying.

The idea that this thing can't just put a bloody hole in your face, but completely burn through it.

Maybe there's even some fear of the unknown...she didn't even know anything like this existed until thirty seconds ago.

"Got you cornered. If you move, one of you is gonna get it," The Mechanic whispers.

She looks down at Kai.

"Save yourself," he murmurs. "You're young, you deserve to live."

"What? No. You're the one with the elemental powers. You probably have a better shot at saving the world or something."

"Yeah, but I raised you. I devoted my childhood to taking care of you. It'd all be for nothing if you didn't make it out of here alive."

"That's sweet...but you know we'll both make it out alive-"

Shots fire into the wall.

The Mechanic hits the ground.

His body twitches with electricity.

Wow, this isn't what she planned at all. She was kinda hoping that she could get him to shoot through the handcuffs.

This works though.

Jay stands behind the Mechanic, batteries in hand.

He carefully puts them back into his pocket.

Nya runs to him, throwing her arms over his shoulders. "You absolute goober! Where are the others?"

He hesitantly hugs her back. He's not gonna shock her, right? 

"I walk fast. They're catching up."

Kai clears his throat.

Nya kneels and starts picking at Kai's handcuffs.

"Give me cover," she commands.

Jay nods, reaching back into his pocket.

Killow gets up and wipes his face.

Blood smears across his white tattoos.

He's lucky that all he got was a nasty nosebleed...actually, that might be a broken nose.

Ultra Violet tilts his head aggressively. "Big Man, c'mon, this is how you stop a nosebleed."

The giant man groans in pain.

And then the floor under them cracks.

Then it rumbles.

The floor seems to be folding itself, slabs of ground turning and pointing to the ceiling, trapping the felons in awkward positions.

"Huh. Good to know I can use my powers on super smooth concrete like this," Cole says from the doorway, a smile barely tugging at his lips.

Zane reaches into his backpack, walking past Cole.

He grips an ice cube tight, as if it were to escape. 

The slight melting seeps through his glove.

The criminals start shaking their heads, frantically begging to not be frozen to death.

Zane tilts his head. "I don't kill."

Chunks of ice form around each one, pinning them to concrete, be it Killow's ankle or The Mechanic's wrist.

"That'll keep you sound for some hours," Zane says softly.

The bird man waltzes over to Ultra Violet.

"I'll get you out, don't worry," he coos.

She pets the top of his helmet. "Good birdy," she mumbles bashfully.

Huh. They all neglected to attack him, didn't they? He seemed kinda harmless and forgettable.

Well.

After a moment of contemplation, Zane freezes the bird man to the ground by the ankle too.

Meanwhile, Kai laughs as his hands are freed for the first time in hours.

He can finally get off the ground!

Away from the chair!

He hated that fucking chair!

"Kai, calm down, it's just a chair, you don't have to kick it," Cole laughs.

Kai gives it one last kick.

Okay, that probably got out not just the anger from the situation, but everything from the last month.

He checks his pockets. "Lighter. Phone."

Zane nods, walking around to examine the...crime scene...

He stops in his tracks, staring at a head.

Jay was the first one to get a look at what the white 'ninja' was gesturing to.

"Borg's daughter was a robot?" Jay gasps.

"Android," Zane corrects, kneeling down to inspect the head. "She had her own autonomy. She was a person. She was an android."

"Are we sure?" Cole asks. "Maybe this was just a false version in the image of his daughter or-"

"Or maybe she was programmed to say the things that made her seem so likable in interviews," Kai grumbles.

Cole shakes his head. "No, she definitely made her own choices. Zane and I saw it firsthand earlier."

Nya hands Kai his missing belongings.

"So...she's what they've been after?" she whispers.

Zane picks up the head. "She was a person and they...they did this..."

Kai puts a hand on Zane's shoulder. "Listen, I read a lot of parenting books as a kid. You know, a common trait of autism is heavily personifying inanimate objects-"

Zane pulls away from Kai. "This has nothing to do with me being autistic, and even if it did, do you not see that she was a person? Either way it goes, she did not deserve this. I cannot be the only one who sees this. This...this is a human being!"

Cole nods. "Yeah, Kai, it doesn't matter if she was 'inanimate,' she still had thoughts and a life in a way. And they just chopped her up. This isn't a 'Zane problem,' and even if it was...can you blame him? He's holding a girl's head right now."

"...maybe her dad can fix her?" Jay suggests.

"Yeah, we just drop her decapitated head off at Borg Towers," Kai scoffs.

Nya looks over the woman's face.

"And what if Borg can't fix her? We just sent him his daughter's lifeless head."

"I believe that is better than nothing," Zane whispers.

The five of them exit the warehouse, bringing along the android's head, leaving behind the four who were responsible for this.

----------------

Zane sits in the back of the taxi.

It was one with two rows of back seats so they could all fit.

It was expensive but still cheaper than calling up two taxis.

Everyone did their best to try to convince Zane that Pixal Borg will be okay.

Why does he want to cry over this stranger?

Is it because he's holding her head?

It was a death on their watch?

The fear that she can't be brought back?

The idea that everything she lived for was gone in an instant, creating an existential dread that this is what awaits them all one day?

...maybe it's just sympathy. Nothing is more human than that. She died tragically in the hands of criminals.

He can feel the crying headache come on without even shedding a tear.

When was the last time he cried? He can remember bawling himself to the point of a headache at some point...but only the feeling, not the when or why.

If he looks close enough, he's pretty sure he can still see some sort of light behind her green eyes.

He wishes she could just open her mouth and tell them what happened.

He watches as Jay puts bandaids on Nya's scrapes, and Nya wraps gauze around the blisters covering Jay's hands. And they giggle, making jokes about the cute little cartoon characters on the bandaids.

He wishes he could do that to Pixal. If she was still alive, maybe it'd get her to laugh. Just a bit.

...she's just a stranger though.

Zane feels a heavy hand on his back.

"It's okay, buddy. I get it. I didn't think this would happen either," Cole mumbles.

"That what would happen?"

"That someone would die because we couldn't get there in time."

Zane's heart sinks.

"Someone once told me to protect those who cannot protect themselves...did we fail?"

He truly could not remember who told him that for the life of him...but he certainly remembers being told that.

Cole shrugs, looking away from Zane. "We might've. One of the last things my mom told me was to stand up to those who are cruel and unjust- yeah. Maybe we failed. I mean, she might have a chance to live if Borg can fix her up, but imagine if she wasn't an android?"

And that mental image made it all worse for Zane.

Yeah...what if? This could've been so much worse, and it's already bad...

Cole rubs his eyes. "We have lives in our hands..." he mumbles.

Oh FSM. What did they get themselves into?

And yet. It's undeniably the right thing.

Right? If no one else would do it, why not them?

----------------------

It's 4:00 AM.

Good news, Borg Tower is open 24/7.

Bad news, Zane scared the desk worker by plopping the head of Cyrus Borg's daughter on top of her paperwork.

Everything was a blur.

The woman at the desk tried asking questions, but Zane simply wrote down his phone number, said to call it if there were any questions, have a good day, then walked out.

But hey...good news again, Lloyd was alright when they got home.

He fell asleep in his usual corner, all the blankets wadded up to make a makeshift mattress.

The snake slept in a box next to him, only halfway inside.

Everyone showered and got into their pajamas.

Kai went first. He needed it.

Cole snuck a midnight snack.

He broke off a piece of the granola bar and offered it to Zane, who still looked like he was about to cry.

Kai threw himself on the floor. "So, we're all calling out of work tomorrow, right?"

No one could disagree with that sentiment.

-------------------------------

what if while ao3 is down i just copy paste all 36 chapters and 100k+ words of the no wu au into a tumblr post

[cassberry]

EDIT: Want to watch Last Life? Check it out here! Here for Double Life! Here for Limited Life!

With a new Life™ season on the horizon, I thought I’d help those that wanted to get into the series but found the thought of watching 14 different POV’s a little intimidating.

Please keep in mind that this my incredibly biased opinion and I highly recommend watching all the perspectives that I didn’t list. I’ve tried to pick perspectives that give the most insight into a session, however I may have missed a few things. 3rd Life is an amazing series, and it really helps to bounce around to see what others are doing in their episodes because interactions with others are the core of what makes 3rd Life great.

I’ve given more details below the cut for reasons why I picked these POV’s and beware of minor spoilers if you haven’t seen anything yet. Also as the creators still quite hadn’t figured out the format yet, some of the sessions are split into multiple episodes. If you are lost the Last Life wiki has the episode order list to make it easier.

WARNING: The longest read more of your life, do not click if you don’t want to fill your entire dash lmao I have a rambling problem.

SESSION ONE

Grian - As the series creator, Grian is a good place to start as any. Although not as directly involved with the main group this session, he is the catalyst for what really becomes a defining point in the series, so you won’t want to miss that.

Cleo - I feel that Cleo’s first videos give the best overview of a lot of major things that happened in session one. Tree.T.S.D is still the best pun in the series and she has the best angle for “the incident” out of everyone.

Scott – A very fun POV if you are looking for something a little cosier and great viewing for those interested in the Flower Husbands.

Scar - If you know, you know.

SESSION TWO

Scar, Martyn, Cleo and Jimmy

All four of these perspectives give the best view of what is happening on this session. Scar and Martyn more so as they show some developing relationships that will be essential at the end of the season but Cleo and Jimmy are fun as well. 

SESSION THREE

Scar or Grian – Look, it’s pretty essential that you watch either one of these POV’s. I’m not going to spoil why, but it’s very important.

Etho – I’m going to completely honest with you. Etho is my favourite, and this episode is just very, very fun.

Martyn - Martyn’s editing this episode is superb, especially once “the incident” happens.

Impulse – Impulse is a great POV this session as he gives you an outside look into what’s happen outside of the core factions. The grind is real with this man and its fun to see.

SESSION FOUR

Grian – I don’t know whether to recommend watching Grian’s episode first or last because he went full gremlin in this one. It might be more fun for you to watch everyone’s reactions to what he did first, but that’s up to you.

Tango – Tango is doing what Tango does best this episode and has created a mini-game. The consequences of the game are very interesting in retrospect.

Ren – I can’t really say much here without spoiling anything, but Ren’s episode is a rollercoaster.

Bdubs – A very good outside view of the shenanigans that went on this session. Also, yes Bdubs your Crastle is very tall.

Joel or Etho – This seems to be the episode of gremlins because I feel like these two shouldn’t work together otherwise the server will fall to chaos.

SESSION FIVE

Ren or Martyn – Shit goes down this session. Session 5 is truly the turning point of the season and where the biggest battles and conflicts start to occur. Ren or Martyn are truly the best pick for this session.

Bdubs – Bdubs chose indirect violence this episode and it pays off.

Grian – A good POV to see what he and Scar are doing when Ren and Martyn go off this episode.

SESSION SIX

Session 6 is tricky to expand on because I can’t really explain anything without getting into major spoiler territory. Just know that I’ve picked those POV’s for a reason and by now you’ve probably picked a side and will want that side to triumph. Also, Joel is a menace.

SESSION SEVEN

Skizzleman - Skizz pops the fuck off during this session. He fully represents what a red life should be.

Martyn and Scar – Just good POV’s to see either side of the conflict.

Impulse – I can’t say anything here without spoiler but just know, that karma is very circular in this series.

Jimmy - Jimmy you poor, sweet canary.

Cleo - I love you Cleo, and you never have done anything wrong in your life.

SESSION EIGHT

Ren, Martyn, Grian, and Scar – At this point I don’t really need to explain anything, but I highly recommend Grian’s episode over Scar’s for the finale (but don’t discount Scar’s POV either).

Scott - Scott Smajor decided to collectively destroy everyone’s heart with his finale.  Honestly, I remember tearing up a little when I watched it for the first time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Big B - Our lord and saviour Big B also included something in his episode that many of the others cut out, footage from the ghosts perspective. Everyone say thank you to Big B.

In summary...

As someone who watched 3rd Life as it was airing it felt very weird to go back and only watch one perspective at a time. The fun of a Life™ season is to try and watch as many perspectives as you can the week they release so you can see all the nuisances and conversations that happened to get a full picture of what happened that session.

Anyway, I hope this guide helps you in your 3rd Life endeavours. It is an incredible series and my excitement for the new season is at levels previously unknown. If you have an suggestions for episodes that others should watch, let me know! Have fun!

[littlebigmouse]

Words cannot describe how much I would have loved to see an episode that is just the Coven Heads interacting sometime before or in season 1 but also Raine is already there. Think about it. Between Lilith and Kikimora at least hating each other subtly, Lilith and Hunter hating each other probably a bit more openly, everyone bullying Hunter, Eber being a pure chaos gremlin, Darius and Adrien trying to out-class the other and just being general divas, the awkwardness that would be Lilith and Raine interacting "Hi Raine I didn't expect you to clean up your life and become a Coven Head good job" "Hey Lilith I heard you're trying to arrest my Ex who is also your beloved sister how is that working out for you" coupled with the doubled "Ugh this is worse than having class with Darius in school". But also Raine, Darius and Eber are each seperately plotting how to kill the other people present (but like, not even for personal reasons, which is rare in this room, everyone else is also very much plotting murder, they're just more petty) and fishing for weaknesses, while Raine is now working alongside that one weird old lady that tried to poison them and their classmates in middle school - what was that even about - and all that is guest starred by Emperor "has been planning to kill everyone in this room and their loved ones since before he first laid eyes on them and is just biding his time... any... day. now." Belos trying to keep this herd of cats in line that are one sick insult away from clawing each other's eyes out. And that does not even include literally four more unnamed Coven Heads who are stastically speaking at least as quirky as the aformentioned bunch of people and just. How is this government still functioning. How do these people get anything done. I'm 98% convinced the Emperor's Coven has a Head aside from Belos so he can avoid interacting with these weirdos as much as possible. And who can blame him. Three of them are probably having an affair with each other. He isn't sure if Eberwolf can speak, they've certainly never done more than growl in his presence. The closest he came to ever regretting his 400 year old 2743 step plan to erradicate all life on the Isles was when he had to sit in an 8-hour meeting over major budgeting decisions effecting all Covens. Lilith actually did throw punch. The punch was Kikimora. Into Adrien's face. Belos likes Terra the best in theory but in practise he's very close to making her eat vine every time she makes a stupid plant pun. She's been working for him for over twenty years. He's heard them all in the first week, and new material apparently does not grow on trees (pun very much not intended).

[luimagines]

How about meeting the Colors? I think I've read pretty much everything with Four in it so far, and you're a great writer ^u^

Masterlist

OH That sounds like fun! I can do that! Thank you so much for the compliment!

I can't wait to have little lists for each of the boys for solo stories.

Content under the cut!

You hate this dungeon.

The puzzles were stupid. The monsters were stupid. You think the layout is stupid.

This whole situation is stupid.

Four is cool though.

You like him.

Four was taking on this whole dungeon like a beast. An absolute unit.

You know who you’re calling if you end up alone in an ally way and need backup. He’ll have your back in an heartbeat and also help you bury a body should you ask.

Not that you’ve asked Four or even thought of burring a body, but you don’t doubt his dependability when you need him. 

He’s been your sanity’s saving grace.

“I think if we put this key into the platform, it should lower the device and open the door, then we can continue onto the next room.” Four holds up your prize in his hands and moves toward the key hole.

“Four, Smithy, I want to be done.” You groan and watch as his theory comes to fruition and the locked door opens on the other side of the room.

“Well, we have to meet up with the others eventually.” He shrugs. “I bet we’re almost done.”

“Can’t we just... Oh, I don’t know... Leave?” You sigh.

“And how do you suggest we do that?” He smirks, amused at your reactions and willing to humor you.

“Go back the way we came.” You deadpan. “The door is that-a way and we can just go back. No more puzzles, no more monsters, no more trying to figure out where to go next-”

“Completely giving up on the prize at the end of the dungeon that could help us on this adventure and save the world-” Four counterargues in your same tone with a grin.

“Will it though? Will it really?”

“We don’t know until we get it.”

“We could be completely wasting our time and not know until the end.” You groan louder and even lean backwards in a way that can’t be good for your back. “Four, if it weren’t for you, I’d have left ages ago. I’m only still here because I appreciate you and I trust in your ability to cover where I fail because you clearly know what you’re doing.”

“I appreciate you too.” Four grins wider. “Your commentary has been an absolute delight.”

“I doubt that. I thought you would have been tired of me by now.”

“Nah. If it was Legend, I’d probably be fighting him but you get special privileges.”

“I’m honored.”

“You should be.”

You both walk through the door.

“WhAT kiND Of ROom IS THIS?” You screech. 

Before you is an open area where there are multiple doors, each with a color on top of them. There’s a red door, a blue door, a green door, a purple door, and a yellow door.

Next to you, Four hisses and bites his lip.

Your head snaps in his direction and you can’t help but sneer. “OH BuT thERe’s a PriZe at ThE End THat cAN SaVe the WOLrd.”

Four doesn’t look in your direction even as you mock him. He’s too focused on the problem before him, trying to think of an solution. There’s only the two of you here and the others are on the other side of the whatever map they must have found. “This is a problem.”

“You don’t say.”

“I have a solution.”

“We leave.”

“No.”

“Link.” You whine and pull your hands through your hair, barely restraining yourself from ripping it out.

Four takes a breath beside you and reaches for his sword. “If I fix this and solve this, you have to promise to keep it to yourself. You can’t tell anyone.”

“Is something going to explode?” You don’t even look up. “I can keep that a secret. Please tell me something explodes. I feel like something should explode. I don’t think I can tolerate any more shenanigans.”

“Um-”

“Four. Please. Don’t do this to me. What are you planning?”

“Close your eyes.”

You fall to your knees with your head down and take a long breath. A bright light shines throughout the room for a fraction of a second and then silence.

You hear Four call your name and you gather your courage to lift your head.

Before you stands not one, but four... Fours... Each in a singular colored tunic with corresponding designs from the previous corner they inhibited on Four’s typical tunic. 

“Is your nickname a pun?” You glare for a moment.

The red one snickers with a hand over his mouth. The blue one glares at him as well and crosses his arms. “I can say, I did not have any say in that.”

“It is clever though.” The green one shrugs with an easy going grin.

You look over to the purple one as the other three begin to argue, good naturedly or so you think. He’s staring at you just the same with a neutral expression before he raises his eyebrow. “You’re taking this a little better than we thought you would.”

You lean back and sit down properly on the ground, putting your hands behind you and looking at all of them with scrutiny. “You’re the evil one I bet.”

Purple Man smirks, the most emotion he’s shown since they split. “The worst of of us is actually Red.”

“But Vio is the most ruthless.” Said Red happily skips over the other two and wraps an arm around “Vio”.

“Guilty as charged.” He shrugs.

“Vio?” You tilt your head. “Oh my god, are your nicknames colors? Is that supposed to be short for Violet? Did you not want to be purple or something?”

“Vio is short for violence.”

“Which I will be partaking in, the second we go through these doors.” You deadpan and get up. You look over the small group that you’ve formed and run a hand through your hair. “This explains so much.”

“Well, you’re right about our nicknames!” Red grins at you good naturedly. “I’m Red. This is Vio as we’ve just discussed. And that’s Blue and Green.”

“I’m learning so much.”

“Ok, well-” Green shoves Blue hard enough that he falls on the ground and makes his way over to you. “If we each take a door, we can make it to the other side, get through this, and meet the others on the other side.”

“Hey! You’ll pay for that!” Blue stands up and storms over.

“I...think I’m done.” You rub a hand over your face harshly and sigh. “This.... Link, I’ve reached a thresh hold of shenanigans. I’m heading out.”

“No, you can’t!”

“This is me Leaving.” You throw your hands up and begin to leave the way you came, only to find that the door behind you is locked.

At least there’s no monsters to fight.

You hate this dungeon.

“I hate this dungeon.” You seethe.

“We take our colors and you take the yellow door?” Blue offers.

You spin on your heel and take a deep breath. Spite and rage fuels your being and you nod to the four of them. “First one to make it through gets the other’s dessert.”

“Even if we merge again?”

“That’s four against one.”

“Believe me.” You crack your knuckles and head toward your door. “That’s not what I’m concerned about. I’ve got some issues I’ve got to work out.”

“Prepare to lose your sweets.” Blue grins and mimics your motions. 

“I want a full explanation when we’re done with this.” You put your hand on the door knob and twist it.

The others follow suit and they all share matching gremlin like grins.

“We can do that.”

You nod. “Ok. Ready?”

“Get set!”

“GO!”

[cafecourage]

*Somehow holds self up like an offering* This Magical Girl AU is fantastically brilliant and can I get in on it?

Insanity (Cheshire)

-A friend of Pinky and Enno who likes to introduce herself as 'The Long Lost Evil Triplet' and has an outrageous love for puns and bad jokes.

-Currently works as a crew member on Four's Netflix show and is usually the one picking him up from the cafe where she gets front row seats to the 'Enno and Sky Pining Hours' and the 'When will Four ask out the Cute Librarian Regular?' show. She is living for this free entertainment.

-Not that she has any leg to stand on after Four somehow finds out about her crush on Warriors who she's met a few times due to work. They have a mutual agreement not to bring either crush up.

-Doesn't appear in Hero Form very often due to schedule and the belief that the Heroes have it handled.

-But will come if she's needed or if Time calls her in as backup and she can slip away. How he got her number or even knows about her is anyone's guess since she's very protective of her identity and of Ches.

-Her Guardian's name is Ches. He is very easygoing, confident and supportive. He has blue/grey stripey cat ears and tail much like a Cheshire cat which made Insanity laugh when she saw the similarities. He thinks it's funny too and they often get into pun-offs with each other. Very much a Dad Friend. (Favourite movie is unironically Alice in Wonderland)

Powers

-Selective Intangibility and Invisibility. Can make any part of her body invisible and/or intangible. May or may not have used this ability to prank other heroes.

-Can float.

-Enhanced Senses like those of a cat

-Is usually put on Crowd Control, Civilian Rescue or Neutralisation if they need to pickpocket the Bad guy for something.

-She takes the fact Cheshire has the same eyes, ears, hair and tail as Ches and leans fully into the whole Catwoman vibes. Her upper face also has Ches' markings so she's nearly unrecognisable.

Why is it that you just radiate chaotic gremlin energy? Honestly I don’t know how I feel about this one.

[pluviatrix]

headcanons for, maybe, time? ♡

grandpa.

-everyone thinks hyrule is kind of weird and fae but what they DONT realize is that gramps here was raised by literal forest children this guy has weird shit w him for sure. gremlin time. pranskter.

-dad jokes....dad puns...but he says them so casually you’re not sure hes actually trying to joke around

-u know that pic of a guy who fell asleep on top of his cow. thats time. malon took the picture

-good w fairies, he translates their speech to the links who can’t understand but he for sure takes liberties with it

-he has called every link ‘son’ at least once and never acknowledges it. out of embarassment or genuine ignorance to having done it, no one knows 

-time:

-he has the best hugs ... when he’s not trying to break your ribs KLJDF

-i usually have really set-in-stone accent hc’s for the boys but for time im honestly not sure! im tempted to give him a midwestern accent of some flavor but also a northern english brogue fits him too so idk! (the idea of time saying “ope sorry lemme squeeze past ya” kills me DEAD)

-obvi hes the tallest of the links . i hc him at like 6′1 which isnt gigantic but still tall! since half the hyrules are built for links at like 5′4 at the tallest he is concussed from forehead-to-doorway contact about 75% of the time

-his coffee order is 30 shots of espresso in a venti cup. room temperature, cold, hot, doesn’t matter. he pinches his nose and downs it all in one gulp regardless of taste, sensation, or joy

-the sound of a clock ticking makes him kinda shaky

-like with wars, he can’t stand near sky for very long with all his armor on b/c he gets static shocked and it makes his hair all funky

-he physically restrains himself every day from ruffling wind and four’s hair

-he didn’t have a last name until he married malon, in which case his full name is now Link Plackett or something weird like that (neé of the Kokiri)

-he slaps everyone’s sunburns (gives them wet willies, trips them and acts like he didn’t, etc.) and laughs about it

-he isnt the kind of guy to cry very often but i think the first time he sees a dragon in wild’s hyrule...yeah. yeah that’d do it for him

[mlwritersguild]

Catwalker/Marino fic. You know why <3

cut and color, carat and stick, by @alexseanchai

(originally posted to the Fan_Flashworks Dreamwidth, for the "Clear" challenge)

AO3 link; Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir as Catwalker, Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug as Marino, Trans Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir, Genderfluid Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Designer Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Puns and Word Play, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Strangers to Lovers, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Because Identity Shenanigans, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Identity Reveal, but whose? which one? to whom?, Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting

Summary:

The fun thing about masquerades is it's unclear who isn't a stranger.

-------------------------

"Hey Marinette, are you planning on entering the Heroes' Day masquerade gala costume contest?"

"I thought about it, and then I thought about how much Le Monarque likes dramatic gestures, and I decided I'm only going if the plan is to guillotine him."

"…Oh. Yeah. Yeah, good plan. Okay."

"You sound disappointed?"

"Have you seen what the prize for the winner of the lycée bracket is?"

"I haven't looked. Alya told me it was a kiss from Rayonnant-Aérien-Envoûtant Adrien, but—oh. Oh she was not messing with me."

"I wouldn't mind if it was you."

"—You wouldn't mind. You wouldn't mind, if. Did your father even ask if you were okay with this?"

"Does he ever?"

"…You know what, he caused this problem for himself, he can solve it without you. All the costumes have to have masks, it says. So if you enter, he'll have to either make the hologram you do the kissing or come up with a real prize."

"You're a genius. I love—that. I love that idea."

-----

"Marinette, help, I don't think I can buy all the base pieces for my costume, I don't think what I want even exists!"

"What are you picturing?"

"Two columns of buttons on the torso, and the closure is either one of those columns or an invisible zipper right next to one of those columns."

"So a double-breasted waistcoat?"

"…Now I have a better idea!"

-----

"Help me, Marinette, these instructions are clear as mud, you're my only hope!"

"What are you trying to do?"

"Magnetic snaps, so I can change out the decorations if I want to, or have one that's attached on both sides when this is buttoned up but only one side when I'm getting dressed. But how am I supposed to sew these on?"

"Let me see? —Oh. That kit is for leatherworking. You're supposed to use a hole punch and a mallet. If you're working with fabric, you want snaps like these. Two pieces per snap instead of four, and with the holes for the thread. Here, I've got plenty, I'll bring you some."

-----

"You don't have to go through with that dare."

"Alix isn't here for Kim to work off his chaos gremlin energy with. It's fine."

"It's not fine. You don't have to kiss anyone you don't want to."

"Maybe I want to kiss a stranger."

"…oh. Okay. If that's what will make you happy then you should definitely…do that."

"Don't worry, if he gets handsy, I'll punch him."

"No, tell me and I'll punch him. Uh. Speaking of Kim's dares."

"Why, what did he dare you?"

"Well, first he dared me to kiss a stranger…"

-----

"I hate lace. Lace is the worst."

"Persuading the convinced there. It's pretty enough, but the texture is just. No thank you! I don't know how anyone works with it, I really don't know how anyone wears it—I mean, I know why people want to wear it, the whole peekaboo skin effect, but I couldn't without an underlayer, which I guess would have to be a contrasting color or there wouldn't be any point to the lace at all—are you okay? You're breathing different."

"I'm. I'm fine. It must just be hot in here."

-----

"Hey, for purposes of Kim's dare, would Chat Noir count as a stranger?"

"No. Absolutely not. Tomorrow you get to either bring me coffee or be my pillow, because I'm not sleeping tonight now you've reminded me of that nightmare."

"…sorry, I didn't think you'd think the idea's horrifying…"

"No no no! It's not! He's not! That's the problem! I'm not going to kiss him, he's not going to fall in love with me, he's not going to be akumatized, it will not be a problem! There will be no chat-astrophe!"

"But you'd like to."

"…yes. Yes, okay? If he asks after Le Monarque's been deposed, yes."

"May I tell him that?

"Please no."

-----

"Father is insisting on photographs of me on the way into the gala. With my date. My choices are Chloé and Lila."

"—what."

"He said it has to be someone already affiliated with the brand. Which, you are more than Chloé is, which I told him and he ignored me. And there's no point asking Kagami to take pity on me, she apparently doesn't count either, never mind how closely Tsurugi-san has been working with him. Oh, and there is absolutely no way I will be able to wear clothes of my choosing."

"…I could bring it to the venue for you? And arrange a distraction so you can sneak away?"

"I thought you weren't going unless the plan was Le Monarque's public execution?"

"If he shows up, I will be happy to arrange that."

"Marry me."

"What?"

"What? —Oh. Marinette, for me?"

"Excuse me, I'm going to die of embarrassment now."

"I'll join you…"

-----

Cameras flash at the entrance to the gala. Adrien and Lila, both wearing bone white—Oh, how chat-grined I was that you weren't there!—breathe. Breathe.

Lila's smile is too innocent and Adrien's too polite to be real. Not that anyone else would notice, Marinette is certain.

Five… four…

"Lila Rossi! Nadja Chamack. Don't be bemused, it's just the news! Aren't you concerned that being seen with the son of Gabriel Agreste will make it seem as though your success is because of his connections, not your own talent?"

(Clearly, coupons for free babysitting are a very effective bribe.)

Thankfully for Marinette's heart rate, Adrien has taken off the white domino mask by the time he finds her outside the restrooms. "How did you get in?" he wonders, glancing over the same jeans and T-shirt she was wearing when Adrien gave her both these shoeboxes and this garment bag this morning.

"Natural talent," Marinette lies.

(Ladybug strolled right in, empty-handed. Ladybug is now going to stash her regular clothes in her yo-yo and stroll right back out again, and then detransform and line up as a costume contest entrant. Adrien assured her he wouldn't need Marinette's help to get his costume home again.)

Jaime Bonheur, Marinette Marino writes on the sign-in sheet under Entrant Name, and under Costume Title, 007, drawing each zero as a circle with a five-pointed star inside—if tarot cards can call that a coin, so can she—and the seven like on a slot machine. If she's lucky, Chat Noir will think it's hilarious. Adrien might too, maybe, but he has to find him first, or vice versa—he told her not to peek at his costume, though, so she has no idea what to look for, and all he knows is this was a very last-minute costume—

Black crushed-velvet knee-high boots. Dark gray wool miniskirt with silver lace edging. Dark gray wool waistcoat, similarly silver-edged and falling just past the hips, six-on-two buttons painted metallic silver with four dots of silver fabric paint beside each; two rows of draped silver chain, anchored at the front and back of each shoulder. Dark gray domino mask with an uneven silver line painted just under the top edge. So many silver and dark green highlights through the long low ponytail it's hard to tell there's light brown hair underneath. Stud earrings, green gemstones arranged in heart shapes, matching bright green eyes. Black lace sash. Black crushed-velvet opera gloves. Marino would like to lick the little triangle of breastbone bared between the V of the waistcoat and the curve of the silver chains, or the couple of centimeters of bare thigh—

Reel it in there.

Has Catwalker lost his mind?

—Her mind? Catwalker has more of a chest than Marino himself does, what with the doubled sports bras under Marino's tuxedo. But the Miraculous armor shapes itself to the wearer's wants—

Decelerate.

"May I have this dance?"

Even his voice is velveted.

"…Are you feeling okay?" His brow wrinkles the same way Adrien's sometimes does—

Marino shakes himself. "Yeah. I'm. Dance. Let's. Let's do dance."

-----

Okay, so Adrien came over here because he recognized one of the Grand Paris employees who's been seconded to working a house party of Father's, and therefore someone Adrien has spoken with before and liked, even if he's still a stranger by the standards of Kim's dare. But the wirework cocktail-glass lapel pin on his tuxedo jacket contains two red dice with black pips, and he looks very interested in Adrien.

(Well. Not Adrien. Jeanne-Françoise Dupont, if anyone asks. He thought about using one of the middle names from Adrienne Aline Andréa Adèle Angélique Agreste, but… no.)

You're a shooting star I see, sings Rihanna, putting a tiny furrow above the nose of his black domino mask—Adrien is not going to compare him to Ladybug, that would be entirely missing the point—that smooths out almost instantly with a grin up at Adrien and relaxing into the rhythm of the music.

"So," says Adrien, smiling back. "Are you being anyone in particular?"

"Jaime Bonheur," he says at once, with extra wiggle to his shoulders. "Dice shaken, not stirred."

Adrien can't help but laugh. I love good luck—that's brilliant. "I wouldn't bet on the contest judges knowing James Bond from James and the Giant Peach," he answers, leaning just a little on the word 'bet'.

Jaime does a double-take. Then shakes himself again and tries to match Adrien's movements. (Adrien is not going to compare him to Marinette either.) "Maybe not, but Adrien doesn't really want to kiss me, so I'm not really here to win, you know?" (Okay, now Adrien needs his contact info. More friends is always good.) "And you?"

"Mistress 9 from Sailor Moon meets the Gray Cat Miraculous." Adrien tries not to look at one of the spots where the sewing machine didn't quite pin the lace down right. "Except starting with off-the-rack garments."

"Gray Cat Miraculous?" Jaime raises an eyebrow and tugs at one tail of the bow on his sash, close enough they could dance arm in arm. "Isn't Mistress 9 the villain version of the hero who could destroy everything if she needed to?"

No comment.

"I want to learn how to use a glaive like Sailor Saturn's," Adrien says instead. He dares to put one hand on Jaime's shoulder. (Much shorter, dark-haired, confident, makes him laugh—Adrien has a type and is not ashamed to admit it. Even if Kim probably will think Adrien's bi crisis is hilarious. Not that it's a crisis.) "It's got more reach than that cane of Le Monarque's."

Adrien can almost watch the fantasy play out in Jaime's eyes: Adrien as Mistress Patte de velours, swinging the polearm in a way powered by the muscles of the bared upper arms Jaime hardly seems to notice he's touching—both of them in real life still as the eye of a storm—and Le Monarque's head departing his shoulders to arc into a basket Jaime's holding.

Jaime stretches up on his tiptoes to whisper in Adrien's ear: "I don't know if I want to kiss you or keep you."

"Why not both?"

(—That was definitely the snap of someone's photo app, but Adrien will worry about that later.)

-----

"…I guess you won the costume contest."

"I won something, all right…"

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Have another au. I'm on a roll.

Made a Miraculous au on Discord but like it’s more of a crossover au like with how gremlins ended up in Hogwarts.

Now keep in mind, the Miraculous show is great at some points and a mess at others due to multiple reasons and I still don't know the timeline so we're taking some stuff and flinging it out the window. We're rewriting the show so that this au is mostly crack, humor, and dunking on Gabriel.

How did the four of them end up there? Easy, XD sneezed and accidentally sent them to that universe.

Now you got four minors in Paris after being a Minecraft world for a majority of the world.

Featuring:

-Tommy becoming Tailorinnit and dunking on Gabriel for the clothing lines he makes and also dunking on Gabriel 

-The Gremlins saying no to the Akumas Hawkmoth sends because you know what? Fuck that. Already been manipulated once. No thanks. Go away now

-The Gremlins deciding to go and steal from Gabriel after hearing that Adrien has a shitty dad and deciding to steal from him

(Tommy: Hey guys, check this out! I stole Gabriel’s shitty brooches and pins!

Tubbo: Oooh. One of them looks like Peacock feathers while the other looks like a butterfly!)

-Yeah they stole the Miraculouses

-Cue Gabriel having to go and send people to nab them back and to go and get the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous to get to his goal. Got to keep the villain somehow

-Yeah these kids just got Nooroo and Dussuu out of there. First thing they do was scream and thought that they were some weird bugs and try to squash them

-Purpled and Tubbo house hunting for a good portion of early season 1

-They don’t want to get involved in whatever is happening, they just want to find a house and they want to never talk to an adult again, especially since all the adults on the SMP sort of failed them

-Marrinete and Adrien having trouble against a very rough baddie and the kids deciding, fuck it. Time to go be the hero and two of them just arriving there with cool outfits

-They all switch the miraculous from time to time

-Also, Tommy’s version outfit of the Miraculous continuously changes everytime he transforms

-Ranboo saying pickaxe puns and other puns as he beats up bad guys. Ladybug is not amused. Chat is

-Purpled just straight up beating the guy up as his main method of defeat. No time wasted

-Tubbo immediately going to the most chaotic yet at the same time controlled solution

-Tommy going for the more uncontrollable type of chaos for beating bad guys

-Nooroo and Dussu are grateful for being used for good but man these kids are chaotic. Dussu is all in it while Nooroo is just slowly getting a migraine

[celestialmango]

Reading daycare treats, if only I could have keeper readers job. High risk of being swallowed up a giant bird, snake, fish or other, but then get to spend a couple of hours in a tum and get paid for it while I either get some rest (especially with moon) or bring a water proof phone and chill for a while or just chat and have fun with my two buddies? Sounds great to me, sign me up XD Though to be fair, there's a high risk of non-safe Noms unless your lucky or reader, so alas not ~Shy

I mean, if you want to be sure you get safe noms just be nice to Sun, even the shark Sun who has a crush on Reader can be safe if you pull the belly rub trick instead of struggling. It's his greatest weakness and he'll spit you up before anything bad happens if you do give him belly rubs...also if you meet shark Eclipse you'd be safe, he doesn't interact with human's much but will troll them with fear play altogether they'll be fine.

He's just messing with them because he thinks it's hilarious when the tiny things yell at him in an attempt to intimidate him after he spits them up like what are they gonna do? Poke him something sharp? That won't work on him because A. He is too big and B. Thanks to his "I'm a water wizard" thing he's used a spell on himself to make his scales and fins like a bulletproof and knife proof vest. Tiny thing can't hurt him + if he likes them enough(example, use sarcasm, jokes and puns) he'll be very subtle about using that spell he taught Sun on you... Without the little added part he used to trick Sun so Sun would stop denying that he had a crush.

Moon is a bit harder to get safe noms from unless you act cute and silly, act like you have no self preservation whatsoever, Be really nice to him or have Sun gets extremely attached and introduce you to him depending on which Moon we're talking about. Some are way harder than that to get safe noms. Either way show no fear first meeting and you're already on the way for safe noms from him.

Or you can just play feral cat like gremlin four armed with virus remnants Moon's game in the Plex and let him hunt you for sport, in general robo Moons are always good for safe noms...tho he may act scary because that's his aesthetic..well, unless you met non-virus Moon, him very soft and sometimes grumpy.

[jaskiersvalley]

Hair of the Dog

The problem with having a goat as a pet was that Eskel had a goat as a pet. It was usually wonderful, Lil Bleater was a menace and Eskel loved her for it. Alas, some days she was a little more than he bargained for. Visiting Geralt on the farm was always a delight, it was one of the few places Bleats could explore without a leash and Eskel knew she was safe.

All in all it was a great day, a rarity for the whole extended family to get together. Geralt had Yennefer and Jaskier with him, they were playing pass the parcel with Ciri, except whenever they unwrapped her, it was always a dirty nappy rather than a fun treat under her layers. How Eskel ended up with a family where both his brothers had two partners was a mystery, it was perhaps why he was still a bachelor with only Lil Bleater as his companion, Lambert and Geralt had soaked up all the appeal for themselves and left none for Eskel.

"Where are the Gremlins?" Eskel asked, looking around. The Gremlins were also known as Lambert, Aiden and Cahir. One at a time and they were manageable but the three together wreaked unknown havoc and destroyed an alarming number of clothes between them. If they ever wore safety pins through clothes, Eskel knew it wasn't for aesthetics at all.

"Last I heard they were heading for the barn. Cahir was going to see whether the new pony is ready to be worked yet." Somehow Geralt sounded resigned and they all knew that while the trio might have looked at the gelding, they were most definitely going to be making out or more in one of the empty stalls.

Rolling his eyes, Eskel nodded. "I'm not risking that. Tell them I said goodbye and that Lambert still owes me a drink next week, will you?" He clicked his tongue and watched as Lil Bleater blatantly ignored him in favour of hopping over puddles. Just because she was having too much fun and still full of energy despite a whole day of charging around didn't mean she got to keep going. Resigned to his fate of chasing his goat in order to get her home, Eskel lumbered off, trying to look like he wasn't approaching her with intent. Needless to say, it didn't work. With expert ease Lil Bleater avoided him, bounding just out of reach. Even worse, he brothers were watching and Eskel wanted to growl at them that they might as well help if they were going to watch. Thankfully he managed to grab his wayward goat, only for her to protest in the worst possible way, she threw herself onto the ground. Normally Eskel wouldn't mind but she chose to roll in a puddle, her white fur soaking in the muddy water and staining it.

"Well shit."

Dripping goat firmly leashed, Eskel stared at her. She watched him unrepentantly for a moment before trying to nibble at her leash. Eskel had learned the hard way that he needed a metal chain leash for her, nothing else survived her incessant chomping. There was no way he could take her home like that, and hosing her down wasn't going to be much good as she's just drip more water in the car and make it smell even more of wet goat.

Thankfully he always had a towel or two in the boot so Eskel could pat her mildly dry but the puddle hadn't been simple mud and water, only heightening the stench. Thinking about his poor tub, Eskel knew he wouldn't be able to give Bleats a bath. The one time he had tried, he'd needed to buy a new shower curtain and invest in some repairs to the tub. Little goat hooves were not compatible with his bathroom. Stashing her in her travel crate, Eskel pulled his phone out and searched for possible solutions. The most sensible was a pet groomer, alas the three numbers he tried all refused to deal with a goat. Some days Eskel cursed himself for not having a more traditional pet.

"You trying to get a groomer?" Cahir sidled up to him, eyes glinting with the promise of mischief.

"Yeah, but it's not like anyone wants to bathe a goat." Not that Eskel was bitter. He didn't expect Cahir to laugh.

"You just haven't asked the right one. Come on, I'll introduce you to someone who'll help. Just follow my bike."

It was easier said than done. While Eskel had heard stories from Lambert about the strange love affair Cahir had with his bike, it was a whole different thing to see it. Having witnessed it, Eskel had to wonder whether there were four in that relationship rather than three as he'd originally thought.

Hair of the Dog looked like a bit of a shithole if Eskel was honest. It was out in a small industrial park near a village, wooden cladding faded and looking in desperate need of a paint. Helmet under his arm, Cahir barged in without a care for the sign that declared the place closed.

"Scales!" He hollered, impatiently holding the door open for Eskel. "Got you a client."

Not quite knowing what to expect, Eskel's eyes widened when a man larger than him appeared, scowling at Cahir.

"What did I tell you about my opening hours? And fucking hell what is that stench?"

Cahir leaned against the wall with a shit eating grin and gestured towards Eskel and Lil Bleater knowingly.

"That's a goat." It was possibly the dumbest thing anyone could have said.

"No, I'm a human called Eskel," Eskel shot back, a little irked.

The laugh was warm and genuine as the owner of the grooming parlour caught on. "Letho. Who's your stinky companion?"

Somehow Eskel found himself charmed by the fact Letho didn't baulk at the fact he was being presented with a goat. He even invited Eskel to stay and watch the whole process of washing and drying his pet. What struck Eskel was how gentle he was through it all, talking to Bleats as much as he talked to Eskel.

"Wouldn't have clocked you as a dog groomer," Eskel admitted while Lil Bleater was enjoying her second rinse.

"Didn't peg you as a goat owner."

"Touche. You like dogs?" Which was a ridiculous thing to ask, given that Letho's work involved a lot of dogs and possibly a few cats. However, Letho shook his head.

"They're alright. But I wouldn't own one."

"Cats?"

"Guess again."

Eskel squinted at Letho. "I can't really say I can picture you with a parrot."

Another laugh and Eskel found himself quite fond of the raw honesty in it. He waited patiently for an answer though.

"Tell you what-" Letho suggested, "-let me finish up with my last client and then I can show you, if you're interested. It's a snake."

"I only inspect trouser snakes on third date," Eskel said, peering around. "If I had known you'd had other clients, I would have happily waited."

The spray of water was playfully turned on him, barely missing him. "It's you, you numpty. I'm closed on Tuesdays, that's admin day." A soft flush spread across Eskel's cheeks at that and Letho continued, "If I put Gully down my trousers, I don't think she'd ever forgive me. And I don't think she'd fit. She's a reticulated python."

"As long as she doesn't eat Bleats, I think we're good." Eskel had no idea about snakes but, given the size of Letho, he could imagine him with a large snake, no pun intended.

In the silence that fell on them, Eskel looked around again with a frown. "Did Cahir go?"

That had Letho looking up too. He left Lil Bleater to dry, quite thrilled at the prospect of having a fluffy goat stepping out of the dryer soon, and wandered out into the reception area. On the desk was a note.

"You owe me a drink. Maybe two. We told you you'll like him."

Groaning, Letho threw the note away but not before Eskel saw.

"That sounded ominous."

"The Three Fucketeers have been trying to set me up for a while. I resisted. Guess they win."

Grinning, Eskel shrugged. "They don't have to know that, do they?"

That had Letho looking up too. He left Lil Bleater to dry, and wandered out into the reception area. On the desk was a note.ion out no matter how hidden. Which led Eskel to the conclusion that if he couldn't beat them, they could join them. It was very unlikely they'd want graphic details so, with great confidence, Eskel met Letho's rather large snake. And he met Gully too.

[cryptidax]

Dear Beloved,

How are you? Perfect question to start a letter to your significant other, right ;)? Anyways, Life has been boring ever since I had to leave for another mission. Do you remember the gremlin I told you about, Scaramouche? He's the one that is clearly in a constant state of wanting to be me. He has been my target since I cannot bask in your ever-glowing presence. In all honestly, though, even his reactions of annoyance are starting to bore me. I knew I was right when I said that you are the only presence that keeps me alive!! Before you start drafting up a letter about being worried about that midget "hurting me" (We both know that midget could not hurt me :D), I assure you that aside from some bumps and scratches there, I am in good condition and will get back to you in one piece.

On another note, I heard that the traveler is visiting the nation you're staying. Knowing them, they must've stirred up some trouble. I hope you are safe. Seeing that you are the skilled being you are, you must be safe and sound right now. I'm sure not even the circus the traveler brings along can faze my дорогой/дорогая*!! If anyone (even the archons) bothers you. Just tell the nearest fatui agent, and I'll come running to fix it!! I do not want you to get hurt before the big surprise that I will do it when I get back!

My assignment is about to end soon. After four days, to be exact. Regarding the mission, I am on right now. It turns out the little fiasco that was a "coup made to overthrow the Tsaritsa" was just being exaggerated. A few talks here and there, and they were running towards the hills!!! I did have fun talking to their "big and scary" leader. It was amusing seeing their leader begging for mercy. I did not even start the big bad wolf speech I prepared!! Honestly, where are the manners of people nowadays? At least when I was still a lower-ranking Lieutenant, they would keep quiet till I finish my speech!! It's even worse since Scara-douche won't even understand my complaints and calls them "childish" (I do find it entertaining that he unintentionally did a pun).

Moving on, If I am not mistaken, you wanted me to come home with some local Snezhnayan materials? I made sure to bring home a ton (I do not know what you're going to do with them though). I made sure to pick up the ones with the high quality for you!! Aren't I the best boyfie you can ask for :D? I am pretty sure Signora did side glare me when I disappeared from a glossary meeting to collect some of the resources you wanted. It was worth it though, Plus, the meeting was probably boring, and time-wasting. Why do I have to discuss an event if everyone else already knows about it??

I was able to stop by and visit my family today (despite all the agents who can't do their jobs right). They all wanted to hear about the stories from the other nations, especially Teucer. I mentioned your name quite a lot. The elders, plus Teucer, and Tonia called me whipped while Anthon faked a gag!! I can't help it, your just so beautiful amazing wonderful perfect not to talk about.

It seems like the paper I am using to write to you is getting full. (I respect the Tsaritsa, but the "one paper letter to each person" rule makes me want to riot. >:[ I have tried loopholes but, Pedrelino is adamant in making sure "no spies get information out" I have been serving this organization since I was a teenager so I am pretty sure I am not a spy >:C!! ) I'll see you soon (Y/N). I love you.

*дорогой (m) дорогая (f) = sweetheart, darling, dear, dearest.

Please comment a review on the way out!! It helps me improve my writing :)