#found out recently about one of these people. it’s someone I’d been friends with for like 15 years. purposefully blocked me

[seilon]

kinda wild how you can have almost every aspect of your life deeply intertwined with someone else for years and then have all of that thrown in your face when that person decides none of it meant anything and, in fact, was toxic and purge-worthy

[henry7931]

Adventures In Babysitting Spinoff: Billy’s College Adventures Part 1

It’s been 10 years since Billy’s adventures with Leo.

Billy:

Hi, I’m Billy. I think most of you are familiar with me although it’s been a hot minute. But let me catch you up. I’m now in college and doing pretty well on the most part. I guess you can say I live a somewhat ordinary life (outside of my powers of course). I live 10 hours away from my hometown now and it’s been a little bit of a challenge for me. I have little to no friends here which is my fault. I don’t really go out to parties. I’m a good student which I great and all… I’m just bored! Mainly because I promised both of my dads that I wouldn’t use my powers here. Bleh!

I realize that my abilities can seem a bit… I don’t know odd. But they feel like such a big part of me. Not only that but I also figured out how to expand them! I recently discovered before college that not only can I swap bodies with someone but I can also swap two individuals without swapping myself. Pretty cool right?

Sigh… I just can’t use them.

I don’t think anyone else has my ability. I’ve been trying for years, doing countless research on my computer to see if I’m the only person on earth who can swap with someone. And it might just be me.

Well… that statement was true until something crazy happened.

The other day I’m sitting in my Chemistry class trying my hardest to not fall asleep during our lecture. After about 30 minutes in, I got up to use the restroom hoping I’d wake up a bit.

As I’m heading down the hallway, I hear two voices panicking.

They come around the corner and it’s a guy around my age along with someone I’d assume to be a professor. I quickly hid behind a door leaving it open just enough so I can see what’s going on.

“Professor William! What did you do to us?,” says the older guy.

“Jeremy! You think I did this? You think i want to he you??!? I’m trying not to have a panic attack. This is unheard of… two people somehow becoming eachother. This has to be a dream! I have to be sleeping right now! Wake up! Wake up!,” says the young college student who starts slapping himself in the face over and over again.

“Stop slapping my face!,” says the professor grabbing the students hand.

“Oh god! This isn’t a dream!”

“Yeah No shit! Now can you pull yourself together, people are going to think Im crazy!!”

This has to be a joke… there is no way someone else has the same powers as me. Especially someone who goes to school with me.

I look around trying to see if anyone else was around them.

No one is in the hallway…

I look back at the college student and the professor. The professor inside of the college student is hyperventilating while the other is pacing back and forth.

I thought to myself, I know I’m not supposed to use my powers here… but this maybe the one exception.

I switch them back.

“Holy shit! Professor Williams! I’m me!!”

Professor Williams looks down at his body with disbelief.

“This… how did we… oh god, let’s just get out of here. I have a lesson here shortly. Make sure you bring your report back to me Monday, okay?”

“Sure thing!”

As both of them leave, I see a tall figure with a hoodie on dart for the door.

“Hey! Come back!,” I say running after them.

They keep running and I chase after them. They head outside and by the time I get to the door, a giant shuffle of people were all outside. I looked around for the hoodie but whoever that was— wasn’t anywhere to be found.

After class, I head back to my place. I laid back in bed thinking about the possibility that someone else near me had my powers.

I feel excited from the thought that I’m not the only one. But then another thought hit me— why would they swap that guy and his professor?

Was it just to be devious? Or did they have a good reason?

Listen, I’ve been guilty of swapping my family, Leo, his friends around… hell I one time swapped bodies with a teacher just to get out of a final.

But swapping those two people felt like they did it with intent. Wait… did they know that I swapped them back? Did I just accidentally outed myself?

Fuckkkk…

I grab my phone and start texting Leo. Yes, I still talk to Leo. He said we can keep friends as long as I don’t steal his body again.

I try calling him but it just goes to voicemail.

“Hey I think I messed up. Call me when you get a second.”

Ugh… I’m sure Leo is doing something too cool with his fiancé. He met some guy and he’s head over heels for him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Leo. Just a little bitter is all.

A few minutes pass and I close my eyes for a second.

When I open my eyes back up, I feel almost disoriented. It’s dark outside which means I must have fell asleep for hours…

It takes me a second but I suddenly realize that I’m no longer in my room… actually I don’t know where the hell I am.

I stumble around the darkness until I find a phone. The unlocks from face recognition and I immediately open up the camera.

“What the fuck?”

Who am I???

Meanwhile…

Samuel:

*Billy’s phone rings in the distance, it’s a call from Leo*

“Hello?…Oh hey… yeah. Nothing much, just chilling here— What? My text? That’s right! No I’m all good, sorry about that… didn’t mean to panic you. I know! But can I like call you back? Okay, great. Thanks!”

Geez! One second in this guy’s body and I’m already having to pretend to him!

Billy… huh… you’re a pretty good looking guy Billy. My names Samuel and we’re about to get closer than ever lol.

I tug off Billy’s socks and prop up his feet. Damn, he has some sexy ass toes.

I’m sure he’ll be here soon in my body. It’s funny, I knew of the existence of other swappers. But I never thought in a million years one would be so dumb to make it so obvious. I mean it was one thing when he swapped those guys back but then follow me? What an idiot!

I unbutton Billy’s pants and reach into his pants.

“Mhmmm…”

Man! Touching another guys junk never gets old! And he’s cute?!? This is about to be fun!

[nickeverdeen]

Unspoken | Hermione Granger x fem!reader

Pairings: Hermione x reader (romantic), Ron x Hermione (one-sided interest), Hermione x Harry (platonic), reader x Ron (platonic), reader x Harry (platonically close), Ron x Harry (platonic)

Type of fic: Angst/Comfort, Light Comedy

Warnings: Jealousy, supressing feelings, one-sided crush, mention of a hickey, former secret relationship, a bit out of character at the end

Summary: Dating Hermione in secret is the least of your worries, but on the other hand Ron getting more and more touchy with Hermione suprisingly shot up to the top for some reason…

———————

The relationship between you and Hermione had been a closely guarded secret ever since your fourth year. Now, in your seventh year at Hogwarts, the two of you were still happily together—though no one knew about it. It wasn’t as though you had a problem with keeping things quiet; you respected Hermione’s need for privacy. She was cautious, not because she was ashamed, but because she wasn’t sure how people would react, especially her friends.

You didn’t mind. It had been three years, and you were happy to keep your love for each other just between the two of you. In fact, there was something sweet about the stolen moments in the library, the soft touches in the hallways when no one was looking, and the shared glances during classes. It was enough.

But recently, something had begun to bother you. Ron Weasley, one of Hermione’s closest friends, seemed to be taking more interest in her. And not just as a friend. He had always been close to Hermione, but lately, his touches lingered longer, and he made more time to be around her than usual. You’d catch him leaning in too closely during their study sessions or placing a hand on her shoulder in a way that made your stomach tighten.

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Hermione. You knew how much she loved you, even if no one else did. But Ron’s presence was starting to make you feel… jealous. And what made it worse was that you couldn’t even say anything. To everyone else, Hermione and Ron were just good friends, and if you said something, you’d risk exposing your relationship.

One afternoon, when the tension became too much, you pulled Harry aside after class. He looked surprised when you asked if you could talk in private, but followed you without question.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

You hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Let’s say… hypothetically, you’re dating someone, but you’re keeping it secret. And there’s someone else—someone close to them—who seems to be getting a little too friendly. What would you do?”

Harry blinked, clearly confused. “Er… I’m not really sure. I mean, I haven’t exactly been experiencing this, so…”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Yeah, I know. It’s just—what would you do?”

He thought about it for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration. “Well, if it were me, I guess I’d just keep it to myself. You know, don’t make a big deal out of it. If it’s nothing, then no harm done, right?”

His words were meant to be reassuring, but they only made you feel worse. You thanked him quietly and walked away, feeling more confused than ever. Keeping quiet was exactly what you’d been doing for weeks, and it wasn’t helping.

Over the next few days, you found yourself distancing from Hermione. Whenever she and Ron were together, you’d make excuses to be somewhere else. You tried to focus on your own errands, burying yourself in schoolwork and other distractions, but it didn’t stop the gnawing feeling inside.

Hermione, being as sharp as ever, noticed your behavior almost immediately. She tried to ask you about it several times, but you always brushed it off with a smile. She wasn’t convinced.

During breakfast in the Great Hall one morning, Hermione’s worried gaze shifted between where you normally sit and Harry. She leaned in, her voice low. “Harry, what’s going on with Y/N? She’s been acting strange lately.”

Harry, still shoveling food into his mouth, paused and gave her a guilty look. “Uh… well, she pulled me aside the other day. She was asking what to do if you’re jealous of someone. I told her to keep quiet about it. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

The realization hit Hermione like a bolt of lightning. She quickly stood up, leaving the Great Hall without another word, her robes trailing behind her as she made her way out in search of you.

You were sitting by the Black Lake, staring out at the still water, your thoughts a tangled mess of worry and frustration. You hadn’t noticed Hermione approaching until she sat down beside you, her presence soft and careful, as though she didn’t want to startle you.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You were too focused on the lake to look at her, but you could feel her gaze on you. It was Hermione who finally broke the silence.

“Harry told me what’s been bothering you,” she said gently, her voice full of concern. “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling jealous?”

You winced inwardly. You didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to sound petty, but the look on her face told you she wouldn’t let it go. “I didn’t want to say anything because… well, it’s Ron. You two are such close friends, and I didn’t want to come across as possessive.”

Hermione frowned, reaching for your hand. “But you’re not being possessive. If something’s bothering you, I want to know. What Harry told you was stupid advice. We need to talk about these things, not keep them bottled up.”

You sighed, finally turning to look at her. “It’s just… sometimes, when I see him with you, I get this feeling that I can’t shake. I know you love me, but it’s hard not to feel a little jealous.”

Hermione’s expression softened, and she squeezed your hand. “Y/N, I do love you. And nothing between Ron and me will ever change that. You don’t need to worry about him.”

You hesitated, still unsure. “But he has feelings for you”

She shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Then that’s his problem. I love you.”

Your heart fluttered at her words, the weight on your chest lifting slightly. You smiled, feeling a bit foolish for doubting her.

Hermione leaned her head on your shoulder, her hand still holding yours. “And as for the whole ‘keeping things quiet’ thing… I don’t think I care about that anymore.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “Are you sure? I mean, you’ve always been so careful about it…”

She shushed you softly. “I’m sure.”

The two of you stayed by the lake for hours, talking and holding hands. By the time you returned to the castle, the weight of your jealousy had lifted, replaced by the warmth of Hermione’s reassurance.

As you both walked back into the Great Hall, Hermione casually reached for your hand, interlacing her fingers with yours. You shot her a look of surprise, and she just smiled back, a playful glint in her eyes.

As you passed Ron, Hermione took it a step further, tugging lightly on your collar to reveal a small, barely hidden hickey on your neck. Your eyes widened in shock, and you shot her a look, but she just smiled at you, clearly enjoying teasing you.

Ron’s eyes slowly widened as he looked between the two of you, the realization dawning on him. “Wait… you two are…?”

Hermione smiled innocently. “What gave it away?”

You couldn’t help but laugh as the pieces finally clicked into place for Ron, and you felt lighter than you had in weeks. No more secrets. No more hiding. Just the two of you, together, for everyone to see.

[kozycub]

My history!!

Hey everyone! I know I’ve been promising this post for a while, and I’m sorry for the delay—I’ve been very busy on these days. But here it is!

I’m Ethan, and I want to share my journey with incontinence to build confidence and give you a glimpse into my daily life. Over the past two weeks, adult diapers have been a total lifesaver for me, protecting my clothes and my furniture!

I’ve been dealing with incontinence for almost my whole life. From what I can remember, I’ve always worn diapers at night, and as I outgrew regular ones, my parents refused to keep gettin them and I often woke up to a wet bed. It hasn’t always been this challenging, but it’s definitely had its struggles.

When I was a kid, around six or seven, i used to wear baby diapers, so I wouldn´t wake up in a wet bed. My parents, believing I was doing it on purpose, stopped putting me in diapers. At that time, I didn’t have the money for products like Goodnights or pull-ups, and my parents weren’t very understanding. They thought punishing me would make the problem go away, but that just made things worse.

I spent my preteen years using towels under my sheets. Whenever I got some pocket money, I’d sneak off to the drugstore for overnight mats, terrified of my parents finding out. After all those years, I don’t blame them; they just didn’t know how to handle the situation.

Having friends over or even thinking about sleepovers felt impossible. I wasn’t very social, but I did have a few good friends in elementary school, always keeping my reality as a top secret. Eventually, my parents just let me deal with it alone.

As I entered high school, I focused more on my studies and slowly had fewer accidents—maybe just one or two nights wet per week at most. This continued into college, where I was finally able to work and gain some financial independence. I got my own place and could manage my incontinence on my terms, but it never completely went away.

During that time, I was in a relationship with someone who initially promised to support me. Unfortunately, after a few weeks sleeping together, the reality of my nightly routine was too much for her, and we parted ways.

Each time I dated someone new, I had to come clean about my situation. Some were kind and simply left, while others laughed and ghost me after. I never managed to maintain a relationship for a longer time.

Over time, I met many people, but when it came to our first night together, revealing my situation often led to them ending things. That was until I met my current spouse, who has been my rock throughout this journey.

For a while, accidents were rare, and I thought I could finally ditch the protective mats. But recently, my incontinence worsened, and I found myself back in diapers and now for full-time. It all changed after a particularly embarrassing moment stuck in traffic—I just couldn’t hold it anymore.

This has been a period of new experiences, learning about my body, and working on my self-esteem. I’ve come to accept that I can lead a happy life while wearing diapers to avoid accidents.

Now, I can enjoy family gatherings without anxiety about wetting my pants. Going out to restaurants and public places is no longer a big deal. I can even invite friends over without worrying about embarrassing odors or accidents. After so long, I finally feel like myself again, knowing I’m not any less of a person for managing my incontinence.

I think that’s enough for today! I know I’ve left out some details, but I’m here to answer any respectful questions you might have, please feel free to ask.

Take care, Ethan 💫.

[circeyoru]

Darkest Confession = Requested

[Human!Alastor x Serial Killer Enthusiast!Reader]

Everyone have that one thing that really really sets them apart from the group, right? Some can be way too addicted with coffee that they don’t sleep much cause of it, or some can be so obsessed with ducks that they have a whole collection of it (ahem Lucifer ahem anyways…). Either way, usually it’s harmless

No, not you

You were no police officer or detective, or any career related to crime. You were someone simple working from place to place, always moving. Yet you found yourself engrossed with the art of killing. No, you don’t kill yourself. But you love to read about the people that do, specifically, serial killers

To just have the urge to kill and do it then deal with the consequences. It was like the most extreme of goal making. The thing with serial killers is that they mostly pick random people off the streets and kill for whatever reason they have. One can’t link the killings back to the killer because there was none! Oh, how you eat those stories up like a bedtime story

You somewhat study serial killers and their killings, feeling drawn to them enough that you’d move from place to place. It was your drive and your calling. One you keep quite deep down, you’d let this side of you out from time to time, but you had to control it since some might think you deserve the straight jacket or put in a hospital, or just label you as mental

Close friends and your family knew this side of you and said one day you’d be in deep waters for this interest of yours. They had advised you to stop and just push it away, find something else to think. Maybe a romantic partner that you can settle down with?

Hell no! (like Charlie to Val)

You follow serial killer stories from place to place. As sad that it was to know it after the killings were brought to light because of the slow news outlet, you take what you can. You’d mostly maybe catch a glimpse of the killer, behind bars or during trials

There was a few close calls. You recall yourself impersonating a reporter to interview the killer and your interest in them got them to talk, but you had to left before someone caught on you weren’t a reporter. Another time, a writer hired a helper to talk with a killer on trial, you wrote so much notes that the writer wanted you long term

Still no, you left to follow more serial killers when you could

You heard of a serial killer at large. In New Orleans, City in Louisiana. You heard it over the radio from a rising host that took over the hearts of the people, even outside of his hometown. He detailed the killings, even claiming to have seen a few of the bodies alongside the police so he could offer a clearer picture to the listeners of the horrors the killer can do and wasn’t afraid to show off

A serial killer still free and in society. While the other listeners in the cafe shivered and whispers to each other to be cautious or relief that the killer wasn’t in their town or city, you were planning your next travel

Next stop the New Orleans, hunting ground of the Bayou Serial Killer

Settling down was easy since you had been so custom to it. Like always, you wandered a bit, get the feel of the place and its people, the vibe of the city so you can fit in. Then you visited the place where the bodies were found, information provided by the local newspaper and the radio talkshows

You didn’t know then. That someone was following you after a few of your visits to the body dumping grounds. You certainly didn’t know that chance encounter with the radio host was staged

“I’d like coffee, black!” You heard the familiar voice ring. You didn’t have to look up to know the customers and staff members of the cafe all drawn to the man that ordered at the counter. You rolled your eyes. It was the famous radio host, Alastor, he started frequenting this cafe only recently (when you showed up in town) and would take his morning coffee here before he goes live

If only he was a serial killer or someone close to one… You remember the first time seeing him when he entered the cafe. You wanted to approach him, but he was always eyed by the people that put him on a pestasole. You learned to stay clear of people like that because, there were always some fans crazier than the other. Take yourself as an example, with your obsession and addiction to killers

“May I join you, my dear fellow?” Your eyes quickly scanned the place. Why was it so full today? You didn’t say anything and just gestured to the empty seat opposite to you in your booth. Great, now you had to go to work early because you wanted to avoid him. Wait

“Are you writing your script now?” You blinked at the notepad Alastor started to scribble over, you couldn’t just start by asking ‘are you writing your script on the serial killer? Can I see, please?’. Your keen eyes caught the words ‘serial killer’ and ‘bodies’

Alastor chuckled and said he was merely reorganizing his thoughts so he could envision his radio host as smoothly as possible for the listeners. You blink ‘for the listeners’, again with that. But does he really put others first behind himself? Somehow you didn’t think so

Of course his notes got you to put your attention on him. Alastor had to internally grin. He noticed a new face in town after some time. Then he noticed you going to his dumping grounds. He had thought you were a new detective or police to hunt him down by looking over new evidence. He thought he was right when he saw you noting down the surroundings even with the absence of the body

You were followed carefully to check if you had family and/or friends that would make a fuss of your disappearance. When you had none, he thought you were an easy target. But you weren’t a detective nor a police. Imagine his surprise when he only found you returning home. Never once had you went to the police with that notepad of yours

Odd

So he followed some more. It then that he noticed you had a spark in your eyes whenever serial killers or their killings were mentioned. While other would shiver with the sight of fear in their eyes, you had interest and excitement. So odd, but he didn’t dislike it. It fueled his interest in you

He tried striking conversations with you, but you were so plain and common, one he can brush off as a local polite individual. You fitted in with the commonality that quickly and easily. Though his concern was your disinterest and ignorance to him, he once let his assistant to play a pre-recorded show to see your reactions to his killings reported

There it was. You and that spark of yours with that notepad and pen, writing so furiously like you were possessed. You were more expressive and childish even, swaying from side to side, tapping your feet, drumming your fingers. It was like he witnessed your true self. He confirmed it when the topic changed and like a switch, you were that mundane self of yours

It was all so fasincinating to him and he had to talk to the real you. So he staged this meeting. He was right on the money, you would start off with someone common, then poke at your interest, wanting him to start the topic so you’d be involved. Slowly and with time though, you’d just talk outright with him

It was routine for him, meeting you before his show at that cafe and in their secluded booth you basically marked your own when it was in the morning. He’s review his notes with you and then talk about the (his) killings with you, the newest discoveries, the clues that detectives and polices missed, all that juicy details you’d like

Another problem came. You saw him as a friend. He saw you as a romantic interest

To you, it was rare that you could connect this much with someone. No one back home, not even your closest family members and frends, would indulge with you in this interest of yours. No matter how much you spoke your thoughts on serial killers and their killings, Alastor didn’t push you away and even ask questions on your thoughts. You cared so much for him, as a friend, but he wasn’t your interest

To him, you were now one of his reason to kill more. That bloodlust was on par with the spark you’d have in your eyes when he struck again. Some poor victim died and you only focused on him, the killer! He once compared you to his friend Mimzy, she knew and helped his killings, but she didn’t give him the same joy and bubbly emotions he’d have when talking to you about his kills. It wasn’t the same. So were you the one? The one to his cold dark heart.

And he confessed. More than just his feelings

“My dearest darling, I would be so honoured if you’d agree to allow me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to officially court you.”

“No.” There was no hesitation in your voice, nor was there a pause. “Sorry, Alastor, I just considered myself married to serial killers. Or at least, this one in your town. I love them no matter what. So I can’t accept your feelings. But I hope we can continue being fr—”

Alastor held onto you, it was just a stroke of luck that this place was the secluded forest he was familiar with. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed your knuckles, his eyes staring straight at you with that crazed look in his eyes and that murderous grin he only let his victims see, “Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Alastor, the Bayou Serial Killer.”

Note: I had SO MUCH FUN writing for this. Thank you for suggesting this, Any~ (I’ll just call all the anonymous asks this from now on). I would tag the person but this is anonymous request (╯︿╰)

Requests are open, but keep in mind of what I wrote in the Masterlist. I’ll ultimately decide whether or not to write for them. Thanks!

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[pepstarvanmoon]

Someone please get El out of there

Is it not obvious what this is? Do you really not know what you should be doing? SAY THE DAMN WORDS.

Why do you think she’s doubting you? Can you really not tell?

Mike, sweetheart, your relationship balancing skills are a terror to your friends, family, and romantic partners.

This is why people found Midleven cuter in S1/2, because the day you made it official marked the beginning of El’s doubts in your feelings for her.

You cannot seem to grasp that El is your friend AND your girlfriend, and somehow treating El like a girlfriend equates to treating her like shit.

You cannot make this up. El needs WORDS because Mike’s ACTIONS actively make her feel unloved. She does not feel it, so she wants some kind of verbal/written affirmation because of how emotionally distant Mike feels.

(someone talented please edit Elmike to Hamilton’s Burn or send an existing edit my way, thank you ♡)

His actions do not align to her expectations of love, not that it’s a good idea to let TV define romance for you, but you’re allowed to want/expect certain things in a relationship, and El isn’t getting that.

And let’s not act like Mike isn’t good at making people feel loved/cared for. Will is in love with him for a reason. El loves him for a reason.

(It was difficult to pick scenes for this because I’ve read arguments for how these aren’t really romantic at all, but from 12/13-year old, “fresh out the lab” Eleven, it’s as romantic as romance gets imo)

El has been trying to convince herself that their relationship is better than it is, because once she admits to herself that it’s not working, what does she do?

Her day-to-day life isn’t that great. Sure, she has her new family in the Byers, but her dad recently passed away and she’s being bullied at school. She has no friends outside of Will, and while I’m sure their relationship is great (wasn’t explored that much tbh), he can’t keep her from feeling isolated, and his own trauma with bullying keeps him from standing up for her.

One good, unchanging thing she has is her relationship with Mike. He’s the one who took her in and housed her, he taught her what it meant to be a friend, and… I’m having a bit of trouble here lol. I was going to say:

Never used her for her powers (not true lol)

When she was burnt out, he never expected more from her (not true LOL)

Never treated her differently for her powers (for this one, he found her awesome in an awestruck way rather than a Brenner “I’m gonna exploit this” way, but when he thought she lied about Will/hurt Lucas he was on her ass lmao)

My girl has those ‘first love’ blinders on. I keep having to ask myself what she sees in him besides ‘first person to accept me + we kissed’ like besides the latter, Dustin was right there. A lot of the parts of Mike I enjoy don’t reveal themselves around El outside S1 (barely S2). He’s shown as caring and protective, but he’s like that for all of his friends?? Especially when they’re in danger so idk what’s different. I’d have to peruse the milkvan tag to get a hint, but I’ll probably get a better idea watching Sleeping Beauty.

I’m a firm believer that Mike kept it ambiguous because he didn’t want to admit what the real problem was to Will.

“I couldn’t tell El that I love her.” - simple as that. Must be something about Will that has him holding his tongue because after S3 I doubt he’d have that much trouble telling Lucas.

Are you embarrassed? If you thought it wasn’t that serious you wouldn’t have told Will that it was something you “can’t come back from”. Is love serious to you, Mike? Because you can’t love El in the way she wants, do you think you’re incapable of it? Do you feel wrong? Do you not want Will to know?

Hit a little too close to home, huh.

(and let’s not get into the "team, friends, best friends" scene they had together like what was the point in having them make contact a SECOND time.

They already established a connection between them. Mike could’ve asked to be a team after the "guess it's gonna be up to us again," and Will could’ve taken the painting offscreen (the focus shot of Will grabbing the painting gets me so bad like WHY), but instead they wanted them to blush and giggle over each other AGAIN before they got to the van.

Make it make non-Byler sense I'm begging.)

You’d think that’d be good enough, but Mike still feels conflicted and has to make it Will’s problem (actually, Will kinda made it his problem. The way they shot the triple take makes it seem like Will dragged Mike away for another talk because of how spacey he was being. Who knows.)

Tf do you mean you didn’t know what to say? “Maybe if I said that thing” so you DO know? It’s painfully cut and dry if you take emotions out of it. El wants Mike to say that he loves her, so to fix this, to come back from that fight, Mike has to say he loves her.

Why is it such an internal battle for him? If I were to take it at face value, I’d chalk it up to what he said in the van scene.

So your solution is to push your relationship to a point that has El crying and throwing all the loveless letters you sent to the floor? To tell her that she’s incredible and a superhero and that she should know how you feel about her because, despite the tears streaming down her face and her DIRECTLY asking you if you still love her, she must know how amazing she is too?

NEWSFLASH, Queerler! She’s learning just how much she doesn’t need you right now, so I guess it’s time to face your fears!

This isn’t what I meant, but go off ig (don’t, actually, this is awful for everyone involved).

No way you expect El to buy this. You’ve expressed this fear of "losing El" to Will, I’ll give you that, but nothing you’ve done IN FRONT OF EL has conveyed this. Your letters weren’t helping, and you being there in person only made it worse.

Eagerly awaiting the day Michael Wheeler stops lying.

Well, I guess he doesn’t lie ALL the time.

[hyunsuloves]

those eyes. (part 2)

part 1

synopsis … after pining after the man for so long, cha hyun-su is officially your boyfriend.

pairing … cha hyun-su x gn!reader ༝༚༝༚ featuring bsf!eun-yu once again

warnings … none really per usual

lovely notes … (not) long awaited part 2!! finally yip yip

꩜ [ 1.1k words ]

“in love.”

what the actual fuck. your best friend that you’re like, in love with just confessed that he was in love with you. this has to be a dream, something so unreal because how could cha hyun-su, your hyun-su reciprocate your romantic feelings?

you didn’t respond because you were unable to form words. how were you supposed to respond to this man confessing his love for you? say you love him back. which wasn’t a lie but were you ready to say something as earnest as that?

“wait, i didn’t mean that; i did but if you don’t feel the same then please pretend i didn’t say it. i don’t wanna ruin our friendship, you know you’ve been one of my close friends for the longest and i’d ha-“ he started with the word vomit, basically unable to stop himself.

“hyun-su.” you tried to interrupt him.

“-te to ruin what we have. not relationship-wise, but you know like ruin our friendship. i really do value it. i’m sorry if i made things-“ he continued.

“cha hyun-su.” you tried to interrupt him for a second time.

“between us awkward. i don’t want us to not be friends so i’m really sorry if this does ruin..”

“hyun-su. i-“ you let out a shaky breath before continuing, finally catching his attention. “i love you so so much hyun-su… i can’t pretend that i don’t anymore. you need to know that i’ve grown to care for you deeply, since the first time i laid eyes on you. i was just so unaware of how i truly felt until recently. it feels as if i was put in this universe simply to love you, and to care for you. because you are my everything, hyun-su, and i’d rather die than imagine living in a world without you. even in this fucked up world, i’d hate to live in it without. i love you hyun-su, so much.”

your confession left both you and hyun-su speechless. you didn’t know that you couldn’t put your feelings into words like how you did, but you were able to do it. you were finally able to tell your best friend how you felt about him. meanwhile, he was left speechless because he didn’t know that this entire time when he felt as if his existence centered around you, you felt the same.

you cared for him, you’ve been in love with him ever since you first met him, and you can’t imagine living in a world without him. above all, you’ve harbored the same feelings that he has all this time.

“i didn’t know you felt the same way.”

“well, you know now so…”

“does this make you my girlfriend now?” hyun-su asked a bit bashfully.

“obviously. but only if this makes you my boyfriend.”

after your statement, the two of you stood there practically basking in the other's presence. everything felt better now that not only were both of your feelings, but you’re officially dating.

it felt good to have someone to call your partner in the monster outbreak you found yourself in the midst of. not only was he your partner, but he was your best friend. he was the person you always confided in, spent time with, and one of the few people whose presence didn’t exasperate you to no end.

“so, where are we off to now, boyfriend?” you asked him, all smiley and giggling at the fact that he was really yours.

“wherever you decide to take us, girlfriend.” he replied, giving the same excited energy that you gave off.

as you and hyun-su walked hand in hand through the corridors, you both were unaware of eun-yu watching you with a smile.

she assumed her matchmaking skills had worked this entire time. she’s spent so long trying to get the both of you together, but she guessed her recent conversation with you finally made you come to your senses and confess (not knowing that hyun-su was the one who did it first.)

she was so tired of seeing the both of you sneak glances at the other while they weren’t looking, or listening to you make little comments about hyun-su that sounded a little too intimate to be meant in a friendly way.

for example, the one time you described him as “so boyfriend”, whatever that was supposed to mean. but who refers to their friend using boyfriend? someone who wants to be with said friend of course.

so, eun-yu did what had to be done and set her two friends up, but it was mainly because she couldn’t bear to see both of you pining after the other.

she should honestly be given the friend of the year award with how many times she’s been helping you. she has seen you in both your best and worst moments, and she’s stayed through all of it. she doesn’t regret it though, she’d help you all over again if she had to.

you and hyun-su walked hand in hand to the staircase he always found himself on. as you made it there, you both just sat there in a comfortable silence, as the two of you often found yourself in.

with this outbreak, you never imagined yourself being in a relationship, and definitely not with the boy you’ve had a crush on for like, forever.

the serendipity of your situation felt just right. hyun-su being one of the only good things in such a fucked up situation felt just right for you.

“i never thought i’d, like, find myself here, you know?”

“find yourself where?” hyun-su questioned you.

“like alive in the apartments, and with you.” you said somewhat timidly.

it felt a little odd being so vulnerable with him so quickly. but, that was just the kind of comfortable you both were with each other. the kind of comfortable where you could confess any and everything without the feeling of the other shaming you.

“i know. sometimes it feelings like everything happens so fast, doesn’t it?”

“yeah. you get it.”

it always felt like this talking to him. like he always understood you and what you were saying every time you talked. you always joked that you understood him on a spiritual level, but at some point, you started to actually mean it. you felt like you both understood each other like no one else could.

you were happy, for the time being at least. the apartment was doing okay at least, you had your best friend eun-yu, and now you had your newly titled boyfriend, cha hyun-su by your side.

[writerscall]

i don’t have any specifics but i’d love to see you do a jealous hazel :>

author’s note/s: 873 words. this embarrassingly took me a while to finish but in my defense, i’ve been in a real slump for writing. but this definitely got the momentum back a bit! enjoy hazel not exactly enjoying when someone thinks you’re pretty the same way she thinks you’re pretty.

In spite of the collective fear that the fight club might disband after the game, either by school orders or with all of you growing apart with more and more schoolmates wanting to be friends, it stayed intact. Surprisingly no new recruits, but that was probably why the bond of the club was stronger than ever. You were all there from day one and you all knew everyone still wanted to be there, even if getting punched in the jaw or kicked in the shin still hurt like a bitch.

It meant continuing to have Hazel as an everyday fixture in your life, though, and you weren’t going to complain about that. Or about any of the new friendships you’ve created, of course — especially Stella-Rebecca, whose realization and acceptance that she’s actually a lesbian was a very entertaining sight to see.

“I feel no different, but I also feel like I should be doing something to be more out, you know?” She asks you one day as you’re washing your faces in the locker room after practice. “Like, maybe not go around wearing a t-shirt that says ‘lesbian,’ or ‘i love girls’ or something, but like… should I go shop for a cute flannel later?”

There’s a chorus of no, don’t do that among the burst of laughter, and you hope the look you’re giving her looks more sympathetic than amused. “Lesbians come in all kinds of outfits, Stella-Rebecca. Don’t worry about it.”

“Or, you know, in no outfit at all, I won’t mind,” PJ quips with a shit-eating grin. Josie audibly groans and promptly drags her out of the locker room.

“A top that says ‘i love girls’ would be pretty cute, though. I’d wear one,” you tell her. Hazel comes into view at that same moment, smiling at you knowingly through the reflection in the mirror. Your heart flutters as you smile back. It was no secret that you and Hazel have been participating in a will-they-won’t-they dance for a while now. Everyone — or at least everyone in the fight club — knew about it.

Which was why you found Stella-Rebecca’s next words so surprising.

“Maybe we can go look for one together. I think you’d look real cute in one, too.” She winks at you as she squeezes your shoulder, then says her goodbyes as she sashays away. Huh. You can’t help but smile to yourself in amusement, though it’s immediately wiped off when you notice Hazel staring (rather, glaring) after Stella-Rebecca’s retreating figure.

You turn away from the mirror, saying, “Oh, come on, don’t be like that.”

“You know she’s flirting with you, right?” Hazel grumbles. “While I’m right here. Literally just right here, and then she still goes and does all that. She knows!”

“It’s not… she probably didn’t even mean it like that. Stella-Rebecca’s just very touchy and sweet—”

“I think I’m sweet to my friends too but I don’t go after people who are obviously accounted for.”

Okay, this was serious to her. Not that you had any intention of shrugging it off and letting Stella-Rebecca continue to flirt with you, if she would; you just didn’t think Hazel would take it so personally. She’s known the girl longer than you have and has definitely seen her flirt with other people before to know the difference between her being playful and actually being into it.

Then again, until recently, Stella-Rebecca was only coming on to boys.

You walk towards her, fighting the growing smile on your face as you take her own in your hands. “Your pout is really cute but there’s no need for it. I could go out with Stella-Rebecca after school every day of this week, even spend the whole weekend with her, and I’d still be ‘accounted for.’” Your nose wrinkles a bit at the last part. Hazel could either say the most random things or be strangely articulate.

She sighs, head tilting to the right in your hold. “Am I a horrible person for not liking the idea of you spending so much time with each other? I know you’re friends, we all are, but… I don’t know…”

“No,” you breathe out, rubbing your right thumb across her slightly smushed cheek. “It’s a hypothetical situation, anyway. The most she’ll get of me is one day because we’ve got a bunch of after school dates lined up, remember? We’ve got all those Lego plants to build.”

“The new additions to my botanical collection,” Hazel says, her mood noticeably picking back up. You give her face a gentle squeeze before wrapping your arms around her shoulders instead. Her arms wrap around your waist not a second later. “Yeah, the succulents came in yesterday. I think you’ll really like them.”

You smile at her. “You know I will.”

The feeling of her relaxing in your arms makes you relax too, although she’s still got that look on her face. Well, a different one now; like she was battling between saying something or shoving it down.

“What—”

“You and Stella-Rebecca can get matching ‘i like girls’ shirts, but only if we get matching ‘girlfriends’ ones.”

Oh. Not in a bad way, but still… oh.

There’s a part of you that’s thinking, already? but you’re a little too giddy about her clarifying what she wants — and it being exactly what you want too — to do anything but nod and beam at her. “Whatever you want, Hazel.”

[i-care-4u]

TALK TO ME | PEDRI

PAIR: PEDRI X FEMALE!READER

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST

you were invited to pablo’s party alongside his barcelona teammates and a few others. as you entered, you were immediately greeted by pablo and his sister, aurora.

at this point, you and the gaviras were like family. ever since meeting them because of your guardian’s interactions with their mother, you and the siblings got closer as the ages pass by. although things have changed because of career choices, one thing you can agree on was that barcelona is the move. you love barcelona as much as they do.

“hey guys!” you waved at the gavira siblings and they exchanged a smile towards before coming up to you.

starting with the left cheek, aurora exchanged kisses with you, “you finally made it!”

“i did!” you posed.

pablo joined, “thanks for coming in tonight. feel free to serve yourself some food, and drinks will be right in the fridge.”

you nod to pablo, messing up his hair, “thank you pablito!”

-

after greeting everyone inside the party, you decided to sit down and listen to the recent gossip. you were accompanied by pablo’s friend group.

as people slowly got off the couch, you saw that as your cue to leave somewhere else. however, fermín desperately asked you to stay.

“where are you going?” fermín asked you, “you’re going to miss the best part of the story!”

“i’m going to grab a drink and go outside.” you said as you start making your way into the kitchen. you opened the refrigerator and grabbed one of the drinks. afterwards, you closed the door and made your way into the backyard.

the backyard view looked very beautiful at night. however, there was no one there, or at least you thought so. walking towards the pool, appeared a guy sitting on one of the chairs.

“is someone sitting there?” you knew the answer is no, no one is sitting there, but you used that question as a way to start a conversation with the guy.

“no, you can sit there if you want.”

as you sat down, you started to examine the guy’s face. you were already familiar with his face, although you were unsure if that was his name.

“you must be…”

“pedri, no need to pretend.”

you raised your hands, giving him a sarcastic dirty look, “wow, okay. i was just making sure i was looking at the right person.”

“and you must be y/n. gavi tells me about you.”

“oh, he’s so sweet. you should be lucky to have someone like him.”

“and i am.”

for a brief moment, silence fell between you, with the peaceful sounds of the night wrapping about you like a comfortable blanket. the cold breeze rustled through the leaves, instilling a sense of serenity in your bones. pedri interrupted the pause, his voice soft but full of inquiry. "so, how long have you been friends with pablo and aurora?"

you chuckled quietly, remembering your closeness with the gavira siblings. "we have a long history together. our families have been close for years, and we almost grew up together. it's like they're my second family." pedri nodded in agreement, his face thoughtful. "that is nice. family is vital." you couldn't help but agree, a warm emotion flooding your chest as you remembered your relationship with the gaviras. "oh, definitely. they've always been there for me, through thick and thin."

as the night proceeded, you found yourself deep in discussion with pedri, the words flowing effortlessly as if you had known each other for years. his presence gave you a sense of calm and ease, allowing you to forget about everything else. you were lost in the moment, telling stories, laughing, and even pausing to contemplate quietly. it felt as if time had stopped and the world had shrunk to just the two of you in the black of night.

“so you’re telling me that you never wanted to approach me?” you asked pedri, being in disbelief.

pedri shrugged, “seeing you and the group of girls, i’d say out of everyone, you were the most intimidating.”

“gavi tells me all about you,” you repeated the words pedri said earlier. “don’t tell me he influenced you.”

“he didn’t…clearly you were just out of my league.”

“out of my league as in?”

“one that is getting the people in telling me that i pulled the impossible. one that i can show off to everyone. one that got me looking like the average person when standing next to you, a supermodel-like appearance.”

as the hours went, you developed a peculiar fascination to pedri. there was a magnetic draw between you, a connection that appeared to transcend words and actions. and when you looked into pedri's eyes, you noticed something flicker beneath the surface: a spark of something unsaid, something that mirrored the feelings running through your heart.

"may i?" pedri asked you. you drew in closer, absorbed in the moment's intensity, the distance between you narrowing with each passing second. and when your lips came together in a deep, delicate kiss, the world around you seemed to drift away, leaving only the warmth of pedri's touch and the hammering of your pulse.

lost in the heat of desire, you felt pedri's fingertips trace patterns across your flesh, sending chills down your spine. his touch was electric, setting off a fire of desire that grew stronger with each passing instant.

the need for air eventually separated you, leaving you both breathless and overwhelmed with want. but, even as you gathered your breath, the desire in pedri's eyes indicated that this was far from over. without saying anything, you both rose from your chairs, hands interlaced as you headed towards the house, the anticipation of what lay ahead hanging heavily in the air between you. however, as you approached the door upstairs, a voice shrieked from behind you, stopping you both in your tracks.

"since when were you two a thing?" fermín's voice burst forth, full of wonder. you turned to face him, hot cheeks and beating heart, wondering how to react to his unexpected interruption. but as you met pedri's eyes, you shared a wordless understanding, a mutual acceptance of the emotion that had developed between you.

"we'll talk later," pedri muttered softly, kissing your lips before turning to face fermín, whose expression was unreadable. and as you entered that room together, the anticipation of what was to come hung heavily in the air, a tempting reminder of your love for one another.

[oldsoul007]

no strings

javier peña x reader

summary: y/n and javier promised no strings attached…

a/n: kissing, cliche, enjoy ;)

javier peña masterlist

please request!!

It started in the aftermath of an operation that went sideways—one of those missions where everything that could go wrong did. The DEA had been closing in on one of Pablo Escobar’s key lieutenants, but the whole thing blew up, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. People were hurt, intel was compromised, and the Cartel had managed to slip through their fingers yet again. The sting of failure lingered in the air for days.

Javier Peña had been through his fair share of disasters in Colombia, but this one hit harder. He was no stranger to the stress of the job, but lately, something was different. He was tired. The long hours, the constant threat of violence, the pressure from the higher-ups—it was all starting to wear on him. He found himself retreating into his own head more often than not.

I was a recent addition to the team, had been thrust into the fray during this operation. I was sharp, efficient, and determined, but like Peña, I was feeling the weight of the mission. I’d come from a different unit, one more focused on money laundering and financial crimes, but the lure of the Cartel’s operations was too much to ignore. I didn’t mind the intensity of the job, but there were moments when even I questioned what I was doing in the field.

After the failed operation, the team needed a debrief. Tensions ran high, voices were raised, and blame shifted from one person to the next. Peña, ever the diplomat in the face of chaos, did what he always did—kept his head down, worked the angles, made sure everything was documented. But after hours, when the office cleared out and the city felt too quiet, he found himself alone in a corner of the safehouse, sipping his whiskey in solitude.

I had been just as shaken by the operation as he was, found myself drawn to him. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the quiet resilience in his eyes, the way he didn’t pretend to have all the answers but still carried on like the weight of the world didn’t crush him. Or maybe it was just the exhaustion that made me seek out the only other person in the room who seemed to understand what it felt like to lose.

I walked over to him, pausing just outside his peripheral vision. For a moment, neither spoke. It wasn’t until the silence grew too heavy that I finally broke it.

“You good?” I asked quietly, almost too quietly, as though I was testing the waters.

Peña didn’t look up right away. He took another sip of his drink and let the warmth of the liquor settle in his chest before answering. “Yeah. You?”

“About as good as anyone can be after that mess,” I replied, a slight edge of bitterness in my tone.

He nodded, recognizing the sentiment. We both knew that in this line of work, the “messes” were constant. Still, there was something different about this one—it felt personal, like we’d lost more than just the case.

A beat of silence passed. Peña felt the familiar weight of exhaustion drag him down, but I was still standing there, a presence he hadn’t expected but didn’t mind.

Without thinking, he gestured to the empty chair across from him. “Sit,” he said, his voice low, almost tired.

I hesitated for a second, but then I slid into the chair, the weight of our shared fatigue settling between us. Neither said anything for a few moments, but there was a quiet understanding. It was rare in our line of work to find someone who didn’t judge you for the things you did or didn’t do. I wasn’t interested in pretending everything was fine, and neither was Javier. We just… were.

Eventually, Peña broke the silence. “You handled yourself well out there. That’s not easy to do.”

I gave him a brief, appreciative glance, though I didn’t respond right away. The tension between us was palpable but unspoken. We weren’t friends. Not really. We were colleagues, bound by the same purpose. But something about the shared weight of our mission—and the night—made the distance between us feel a little less important.

That night, the conversation shifted to the case, the details of what went wrong, and how we could fix it. It wasn’t much different from the countless debriefs we’d done before. But it felt different, in the way our eyes occasionally met, or the way my hand brushed his as I passed him the files. And by the end of the night, when I stood up to leave, there was a silent question hanging in the air between us.

It wasn’t the first time he had a casual encounter, nor was it the first time we’d both been under pressure. But this felt different. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because both of us needed something to break the tension, to give us a way to escape from the constant storm of our work, even if only for a few minutes.

Without words, we ended up back in one of the spare rooms. No strings. No expectations. Just a release. The physicality of it offered something the job couldn’t—a momentary break, a way to shed the weight, to forget about the dangers we were facing every day.

It was raw and uncomplicated, and in that fleeting space, we both understood what the other needed. But as the night ended and the dawn came creeping in, neither of us said anything about what had happened. It was just another night in our chaotic lives.

But it wasn’t the last time. And neither of us really knew where it would lead. We just knew we needed it, whatever “it” was.

The tension in the room was thick, and it wasn’t just the heat. Javier Peña stood in front of me, his eyes dark with desire. Without a word, he pulled me into his arms, and my breath caught as his lips crashed against mine. The kiss was deep, urgent—everything we’d both been holding back for too long.

Javier’s hands were rough but gentle as they slid down my back, pulling me closer. My fingers tangled in his hair, and I could feel the heat of his body seeping into mine.

“Te he querido desde el primer momento que te vi,” Javier growled against my lips. (I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.) His words were like a promise, a confession.

My heart raced as I kissed him back, feeling the fire between us ignite. He tasted like something dangerous—strong, unyielding, yet utterly captivating.

He pulled away for just a second, his breath ragged, his forehead resting against mine. “Eres todo lo que necesito,” he whispered, his lips brushing mine with each word. (You’re everything I need.)

I could feel the heat in his words, the raw emotion he rarely showed. My fingers trailed down his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath the worn shirt.

Javier’s hand slid into my hair, tilting my head back slightly to deepen the kiss. “No sabes lo que me haces sentir,” he murmured, his voice dark and needy. (You have no idea what you make me feel.) His lips moved slowly down my neck, each kiss leaving a mark, a promise.

I couldn’t hold back any longer. I pulled him back to me, my lips capturing his in a desperate, hungry kiss. Javier’s hands slid down my back, gripping me tighter, pressing my body against his.

“Vas a ser mi perdición,” he whispered, his voice low and full of desire. (You’re going to be my downfall.)

My pulse quickened at the intensity in his voice, and I responded by kissing him harder, feeling the same pull, the same inevitability between us. Everything else faded away—there was nothing.

For months, we had managed to keep things casual. What started as a no-strings-attached arrangement between us had turned into something more complicated, though neither of us was ready to admit it. The physical connection was undeniable—intense, satisfying—but beneath it all, emotions had started to creep in, uninvited and unwelcome. We both pretended not to notice.

I liked to joke around, keeping things light, often throwing in playful jabs at him. It was my defense mechanism, a way of guarding myself from what I feared might be slipping into something deeper. I wasn’t sure when the line between friendship and something more had blurred, but it had. And now, it was hard to pretend she wasn’t feeling something more than just the thrill of the next encounter.

He, too, played the game, hiding behind sarcastic remarks and that same casual demeanor that had always been his shield. But every time I teased him, every time I made one of my jokes, it stung a little more than it should. He hated the idea that she might not see him as anything more than just a “friend” in the way he wanted to be seen.

He’d smile it off, pretending it didn’t bother him, but the words she said lingered longer than they should. It wasn’t just her teasing; it was the way she looked at him sometimes, with that softness in her eyes that said something more. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to ask her about it or pretend it wasn’t there.

For all his deflecting, he couldn’t ignore the small things. The way she would linger for a second too long when she touched his arm, the way her laugh seemed to carry a little more warmth when they were alone. She always kept a distance, kept the walls up, but he could sense the cracks forming, the spaces where something else was starting to show.

And myself? I wasn’t blind. I noticed how sometimes he would get quiet, or how his gaze would soften when he looked at me. He wasn’t as unaffected as he liked to act. I couldn’t deny that every time our eyes met, there was a spark—one that neither of us was willing to admit to. I played it off, always covering up with humor, always pretending it didn’t matter. But it did. I knew it did.

For months, we existed in this gray space—where the boundaries were clear, but the feelings never stopped pushing against us. We both understood the rules of our arrangement, but neither had anticipated how much harder it would be to stay detached as our connection deepened.

Every time I laughed, teasing him or making light of our situation, there was something else beneath the surface. Something that hinted at care, maybe even longing. But we never talked about it. We couldn’t. Not if we wanted to keep things simple. And so, we carried on—two people pretending we weren’t on the verge of something we both feared to name.

Javier stood outside y/n apartment, his heart beating faster than usual. It wasn’t just the usual pull he felt toward her—no, this was different tonight. Something about the evening, about the way things had been building between them, had him feeling a bit… off-balance. He knew they were friends with benefits, had been for a few months now, but lately, it had felt like there was something more lingering beneath the surface. Something unspoken, something neither of them was acknowledging.

His knuckles rapped softly on her door, the sound barely making a dent in the silence of the hallway. He could hear movement from inside, the shuffle of footsteps, and then the soft click of the lock as the door opened. She stood in the doorway, her expression soft but inquisitive. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, looking effortlessly beautiful in a way that always made his chest tighten.

“Javi?” I asked, a slight curve to my lips as I leaned against the doorframe. “You ok—”

But Javier didn’t answer her question. The air between us felt thick, charged with something neither of us had ever been brave enough to voice. Before he could even think to respond, he moved forward, stepping into my personal space with a quiet urgency. Without a word, he cupped my face in his hands, and before 8 could register what was happening, he kissed me—deep, hungry, as though he hadn’t seen me in years instead of just a few days.

I gasped against his lips, my hands instinctively reaching up to hold onto him, to steady myself as his kiss deepened. It wasn’t the gentle, teasing kiss we were used to; this was something else, something desperate, something unspoken. I felt it, too—the change in the air between us, the shift in our dynamic.

When we finally broke apart, my breath was ragged, and my pulse was racing. I stared up at him, my eyes wide and searching. “Javi…” I whispered, trying to catch my breath. “Is something wrong?”

Javier didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he rested his forehead against mine, his hands still gently cradling my face, his thumbs brushing across my cheekbones. There were so many things he wanted to say—things that had been building up inside of him for weeks now. But he couldn’t quite find the words. He didn’t know how to say it, how to voice the thing that was gnawing at him, the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to be just friends with benefits anymore.

“I don’t know…” he murmured finally, his voice low, almost uncertain. “I don’t know if something’s wrong. But I needed to see you.”

I searched his eyes, studying the way he held me, the intensity in his gaze. “You could’ve called me,” I said gently, my fingers tracing the edge of his jawline. “You didn’t have to knock on my door like that.”

“I know,” Javier whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “But this… this felt right. This is where I need to be.”

My lips parted as I processed his words. I felt it, too. The pull, the heat between us that was growing with every passing day. But the reality of our arrangement had always been clear—friends with benefits, nothing more. No strings. No complications.

But tonight, it felt like everything was on the verge of changing. And neither of us knew what that meant.

Before I could speak, Javier kissed me again, this time slower, more deliberate. His hands slid down my neck, fingers grazing my collarbones as if he was trying to memorize the feel of my skin. I leaned into him, my hands threading through his hair, holding him close as if I, too, could sense the shift, the uncertainty, the tension that hung between us.

When we broke apart again, this time, there was a new understanding in the air, something unspoken but felt deep in our chests. Javier didn’t say anything, but his eyes—his eyes said it all. He wanted more than this.

I swallowed, trying to find the words that had been on the tip of my tongue, but we all seemed inadequate. I wasn’t sure if I could even articulate the fear, the doubt, the feeling of wanting something more but not knowing if I was ready to risk it.

Instead, I just rested my forehead against his, her breath coming in short, shallow bursts. “Javi, we can’t—”

“I know,” he interrupted softly, pressing a kiss to my temple. “I know. But I need to figure it out.”

We stood there in silence for a long moment, holding each other, each lost in our own thoughts. The weight of what we had been, what we were, and what we might become hung between us, too heavy to ignore. Neither of us knew exactly what would come next, but in that moment, the connection was undeniable.

And for the first time in a long while, Javier felt like maybe—just maybe—the line we’d drawn between friendship and something more was starting to blur.

My fingers softly traced the line of his jaw, my voice barely a whisper. “I don’t want things to get complicated, Javi…”

“Neither do I,” he replied, his voice equally quiet but firm. “But I can’t help it. Not with you.”

It was dangerous, we both knew that. We had crossed a line before, and now it felt like we were standing on the edge of something even more uncertain, more terrifying.

But for now, in the quiet, in the stillness of the night, neither of us could deny the spark that had always been there—and that, maybe, was enough for now.

Me and Javier sat in the dimly lit break room, the hum of the coffee machine filling the silence between us.

Javier had been unusually quiet all evening, his eyes focused on the papers spread across the table, smoking his usual cigarette, but his mind clearly somewhere else. I noticed the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw clenched whenever our eyes briefly met. I had felt it too—the shift, the subtle change that had been creeping between us for weeks now. We had crossed a line, but neither of us had been willing to admit it.

I broke the silence first, my voice soft but firm.

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “More so than usual. What’s going on?”

Javier hesitated, then glanced up at me. His eyes softened, almost imperceptibly, as if he’d been caught off guard by the question.

“You know, this job…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair. “It wears on you. People die, things go wrong. We’re in it so deep, sometimes I forget what it’s like to just—” He paused, searching for the right words, “—feel something that isn’t just about getting the next lead or dodging bullets.”

I nodded slowly, my gaze never leaving his. I knew exactly what he meant. I’d been feeling it too, the weight of it all, the constant danger and the darkness of our world creeping into every part of our lives. But what I hadn’t been able to shake was the pull I felt toward him. It had started as nothing more than a moment of comfort in the chaos, a way to numb the tension that hung between us. But over time, it had become something I couldn’t ignore anymore.

“You’ve been acting distant lately,” I said quietly, my voice tinged with an emotion I couldn’t quite name. “Like you’re pulling away.”

Javier’s gaze hardened, but it wasn’t anger. More like confusion, or perhaps vulnerability. “I guess I am. But it’s not about you. It’s… it’s everything. I don’t know how to keep doing this without losing a part of me, y/n. It’s hard to separate what we do from who we are. And when you start to let someone in, even just a little, it feels like you’re asking for trouble.”

My heart skipped a beat. I could feel the weight of his words, the fear behind us. It was the same fear I had been carrying inside myself for weeks now.

Without thinking, I stood up and walked over to him, my movements deliberate, but not without hesitation. I reached for his hand, her my brushing against his. His hand tensed for a moment before he allowed me to hold it.

“You don’t have to pull away, Javi,” I whispered. “I’m not asking for anything more than what we already have. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this, whatever this is.”

His gaze softened, and for the first time that night, he let down his guard, allowing himself to look at me—not as his partner, not as a colleague, but as someone who understood him in a way no one else could.

“I feel it too,” he confessed, his voice low, almost reluctant. “But I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want to put you at risk. You mean more to me than you know.”

My breath hitched, and I squeezed his hand a little tighter. “You think I don’t know that? We’ve been living in this world together for so long, Javi. I get it. I don’t want to be a liability to you, either. But I can’t ignore how I feel. And I’m not sure I want to anymore.”

Javier let out a slow breath, his thumb lightly brushing the back of my hand. “I’ve spent so much of my life shutting everything else out. It’s easier that way. But you’ve always been different. Maybe that’s the problem.”

I leaned in closer, my voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe it’s not a problem. Maybe it’s just… us.”

Javier’s lips curled into a faint smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes but carried a warmth that felt almost like relief. “You know, we might be crazy for this. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t want this too.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke, just standing there in the quiet of the room, both of us realizing the depth of what we’d confessed. It wasn’t just physical. It was the understanding, the shared experiences, the unspoken bond between us that ran far deeper than either had ever been willing to admit.

I reached up, gently touching his cheek, my fingers tracing the familiar lines of his face. “I’m not asking for promises, Javi. Just… not to shut me out.”

He leaned into my touch, his eyes closing briefly as he let the warmth of the moment settle over him. When he opened his eyes again, we were softer, but still guarded.

“I won’t,” he said, his voice steady, but with a hint of something more. “I don’t know what this means for us—what it means for the job—but I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

I smiled, the weight that had been pressing on my chest for weeks finally lifting. “Then let’s just take it one day at a time.”

Javier nodded, his hand still holding mine, as we stood together in the quiet of the safehouse, each of us uncertain of what the future held, but for the first time in a long while, willing to face it together.

[deepestnightcolor]

If you don’t mind me asking, I love your writing and I’d love to see a Sam x quiet/awkward farmer who’s *really* bad at talking to people but he just automatically accepts them. Maybe mutual pining and anything else you’d like!! 🙈💕

☾ ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇꜱ ☽

ᴀ/ɴ: Hello!!~ Thank you so, so much for your request. I certainly had fun writing it. I hope this is what you wanted! ^^ Thanks again for your time and request, I hope you enjoy~

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x GN!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 2271 words

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: No warnings, just fluff.

Slowly, the pen slipped from your fingers, your eyes wandering over the pages you had just written down your thoughts on. Your journal; a loyal companion. Sometimes, it felt like your best friend, so safe and secure.  It was the only time when you were able to articulate your thoughts and ideas without worrying about the words you chose, without fearing a stutter surfacing. You didn’t have to wonder if you sounded stupid, or your tongue twisting, disarranging your words. Your journal allowed you to share, without judgement, without the twisting in your stomach you often had when talking to people that weren’t part of your closest circle. Without feeling like you needed to run as fast and as far as possible. However, if someone casted a glance over the most recent pages, they would have found that you wanted quite the opposite. That there was a new person you wanted to talk to. That there was a person you wanted to get to know, that you wanted to share with. That there was a person that had caught your interest, and whose attention you wanted. Desperately so, even.

That’s why you took in a deep breath, carefully picking up the cactus fruit that had been sitting on your desk as if to remind you of what you had promised yourself, and you would be damned if you didn’t do it. At least that was what you had thought, up until you saw him. Sam was sitting on the bridge near the museum, picking up small rocks and tossing them in the river idly flowing by. Your heart fluttered in your chest when you heard him chuckle at an especially loud plop. His laugh was cute, you found. It started as a grumble in his chest and then brightened up like the sky after a thunderstorm. In all honesty, though, you found pretty much everything about Sam cute in a way. The blue-green of his eyes that reminded you of a cool lake on a hot summer day, the mess of hair that in all actuality was carefully styled every morning; the small freckles that had darkened over the summer season.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you hadn’t quite realized that you had started to wander towards Sam until he called out for you. “Hey, farmer! Comin’ to spend time with me?” His eyes were sparkling softly, and the smile on his lip was one of such warmth and genuineness that it made your head spin. The words you had oh so carefully sorted out and mulled about were seemingly picked up by their roots, put in a small container, and violently shaken around, just to be lost somewhere in your head, your tongue twisting into several knots all by itself.

You felt your hands getting clammy around the fruit they were holding, your cheeks heating up as an uncomfortable feeling travelled down your spine. You must have looked like an idiot; you sure felt like one. But if you did, Sam didn’t seem to care – quite the opposite. He seemed excited that you were here, inviting, even.   You opened your mouth to tell him something, to at least try to find some words to start a conversation, but it appeared that your tongue took your mouth opening as a sign to twist even more. Panic arose in you, even though the blond’s smile had such a soothing energy that it almost lured you out of your shyness. Almost. Instead of answering him, or even speaking in general, you thrust the cactus fruit in Sam’s lap, turned on your heel, and ran off.

Sam’s head tilted to the side as he watched you run off, eyes slowly falling onto the fruit on his lap. He had been genuinely excited to spend some time with you; the farmer who seemed to ghost around town, the farmer that seemed to never speak; the farmer who was so adorable and cute and sweet that it made his heart swell. The farmer that he had been trying to coax out of their shell but had never succeeded. Or at least that was what he had thought until now. One day he had met you at the beach and, as it was his nature, struck up a conversation with you. Well, in reality, it had been a monologue. You had been digging your feet around the sand and were fiddling with a seashell while he had been talking about pretty much everything that popped into his head. At some point, he had mentioned how much he loved cactus fruits and how he would love to have one again one day. And now it was on his lap, which meant…You hadn’t been uninterested. You had actually been listening. And you cared.  

You also remembered that day at the beach fondly. You had been intrigued by Sam’s ability to talk, by not having to think about his words fifteen times like you did. He made you feel a little easier, even though your body language didn’t show that once. Yet Sam’s attitude towards you didn’t change, he kept up the friendly tone in his voice, the warm smile in your direction. Plus, you were thankful. Thankful that someone other than Robin or Mayor Lewis talked to you; that someone else started a conversation. It had meant something to you, something so sincere that you held it dear.

Really, it wasn’t like you didn’t want social interaction. It just didn’t come naturally to you, and people often didn’t have enough patience to allow you to warm up to them. Sam, however, seemed like he had.

Really, it wasn’t like you didn’t want social interaction. It just didn’t come naturally to you, and people often didn’t have enough patience to allow you to warm up to them. Sam, however, seemed like he did. That was the reason you tried to show him that you were interested. That you did want to get to know him. Yet since you were lacking words, actions needed to suffice.  

The next time you found Sam he was at the beach again, the hot summer sun having reddened his cheeks – or perhaps it was the exhaustion from running after Vincent, who just didn’t seem to be affected by the heat at all. You looked at the blue, cooled-down can in your hand, a smile on your face. You had the feeling your gift would come over well.

Sam had just plopped down on the hot sand, stretching out his aching legs when a shadow suddenly casted over him. His eyes snapped up, and the smile that followed could have definitely been able to compete with the sun. “Hey. Lookin’ very cute today. The sun ain’t gettin’ to you?” An attempt to charm you, a weak one – he didn’t want to scare you away, after all, such a delicate thing like you -, but an attempt, nonetheless. It bared results with you that the sun hadn’t achieved. Your cheeks heated up, some of the redness spreading down to your throat and wrapping around your neck like a warm hand. You gave Sam the only thing you could muster; a smile. You handed the cold can to him, and before there was even a chance to open up the conversation, you were stalking back toward town. “Thanks!” Sam called after you, the smile on his lips still there, only dying down when he realized you wouldn’t come back.

That’s how your game went; you would find Sam and hand him a gift. The blond would smile and thank you, but before he could start talking more, you were gone. Some days you felt more confident than usual, some days you had your words ready again. But his smile? That stunning, pretty, sunshine and moonlight smile? It always made these words tumble down your throat, blocking any sort of noise from ever escaping again. That was the point when you just smiled back at him and vanished, making a beeline for the way you had just come from.

From the outside, it seemed like you kept your cool about this. But your journal held the truth; that you just didn’t know how to talk to him. That you just didn’t know how to overcome this. Whenever when you were close to him, seeing that radiant look on his face, smelling that scent of vanilla and cola, feeling these feelings everything around you seemed to crumble. Everything within you crumbled. The confidence, the intent to really make it happen, to actually talk to him today.  

The only thing that kept you trying was the fact that Sam didn’t appear to lose his patience with you, quite the opposite. He became more open with you, telling you that you looked good, that your smile was pretty today. He tried to talk more to you, telling you that you looked good, that your smile was pretty today, that the crops that came from your farm were delicious – he talked as much as he could before you would plant whatever gift you had brought him in his lap and then wandering off.

And really – Sam did try his best, after all, you were worth it to him. You seemed like a genuinely good person, with eyes so pretty that he got lost in them every time he had been able to catch them. You caring enough about him to find him every day and give him his gifts made him want to try harder, help you feel comfortable enough around him to speak to him.  Sam had simply never been in a situation where someone didn’t talk to him. Usually, he talked long enough and with such an energy that he lulled most people into a conversation, but not with you. Which meant he would need to try a different route.

He had heard you coming before he could have seen you. The smile was already lingering on his lips as he turned to you. You held a cactus fruit in his hand, a look of surprise fleeting over your face. Had he been waiting for you? “Hey. Had a good day today?”  He asked, now turning around completely so he could face you more easily. You gave him a sheepish smile and tried to hand him the cactus fruit, but instead of just taking it, Sam dropped something small in your hand. “Thank you,” he grinned, giving you a wink.

You swallowed thickly, your fist clenching around the object he had given you as you headed back to your farm.

You were panting when you had reached your front porch, but that didn’t mean that your curiosity didn’t get the better of you. Slowly opening your fingers, you saw a rectangle of white. Upon closer inspection, you found that it was a folded piece of paper. Your fingers were trembling as you tried to unwrap it. Was he going to tell you to leave you alone? Had he realized you were weird and wanted you to stay away from him?

The sloppy handwriting that greeted you would have made you chuckle if it hadn’t been for the anxiety cursing through you. But the words were…soothing. Warm- like his smile. “Hey, I realized you don’t like to talk much. So maybe I thought you would like to trade notes while I take you on a date to the beach? I will be there tomorrow at 6.”

Your heart swelled in your chest – maybe there really was someone that would understand you, other than your journal. Someone was willing to give you a chance like this.

The blond of his hair appeared to be of golden colour as the setting sun caught it in its soft embrace. Sam was sitting on a blanket he had spread out in the sand, his face stretched towards the warmth he could still find in the sky, only turning his head when he heard you approach. As you got closer, you could see that Sam had been true to his word; different coloured pieces of paper were sitting on the blanket next to him; he had even brought a pencil case of markers. He gave you a smile and a gentle wave as you sat down next to him.

For a moment, you weren’t sure what to do. Was this a joke? Maybe he would just make fun of you? What if he grew tired of it quickly? A note, folded like an airplane, landed on your lap. The author carried a grin of pride, giving you two thumbs up.

 “So, does a farmer have hobbies? Or are you too busy for them?” A smile folded on your lips, fingers wrapping around a pen, ready to do what you knew you could do; without the twist of tongue, without a stutter, without having to worry your words would get lost on the way.

The stack of paper had become considerably small as you were sitting in silence. The sun had set, and the pale light of the moon illuminating the beach made it hard to write. But it felt comfortable to just sit next to Sam and…exist. Sam had asked you about yourself, and whenever he had read your replies, he had looked at you and nodded, just to go back to reading. His tongue had been sticking out when he wrote, and his eyes had always been gauging your reaction when you read his replies; drinking up each smile, each snort, each giggle, each reaction. But right now, he was content with just being next to you, and not hearing you run away from him.

What he didn’t expect was a small voice next to him, unsure, and yet firm. “Thank you, Sam.”

[saffyspirals]

EYYY!! I recently found you in this app and I just gonna say your content is pretty great! Is it okay if I put on a request? Like what would the blue lock characters call their S/o? ;) any characters is fine to me but I hope Nagi and Kurona will be included hehe- Good work btw!

❥ fandom: blue lock

❥ includes: nagi, kaiser, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, shidou, kurona, hiori & reo

❥ notes: hi!! i really loved writing this request, so thanks for sending it in! i thought really hard about what kurona would call his s/o (literally took days), and fell in love w/ his character in the process :)

❥ warning(s): hmm…kurona might be ooc IDK but i like this kurona!

you are nagi’s little angel. he low-key started calling you that as a joke (he used to find couple nicknames a little cringe), but eventually, he grows to love your reactions to the name. you smile at him, a lot, and it gets him out of trouble 90% of the time. “come back to bed, angel… ‘m asking nicely, aren’t i?”

kaiser switches it up like no man’s business. he’d been calling you by different pet names since before you got together so, you’re pretty used to it. i’d say he rotates between babe/baby, love and princess. honey bunches and names of a similar strange nature are saved for when he feels like teasing you. mein kaiserin (my empress in his native tongue) is only used on special, romantic occasions. like, when he tells you he loves you for the first time. or when he’s trying to get his family to understand just how serious he is about you. <3

bachira switches between love and sugar. sugar-plum when he wants to embarrass you. bachira is definitely one to tell you that he loves you quite a lot, he just doesn’t want you to forget, i suppose! giving you ‘love’ as a nickname is a way of reminding you of the fact rather than declaring how he feels 24/7. sugar is just another name he likes. it sounds good coming from him, and you usually get a kiss after he uses it, which is of course a bonus. “eh? you’re asking me how i think you look today? you look perfect, sugar! always do.”

chigiri refers to you as his darling. the nickname is beautiful, and elegant, just like he is. it’s easy to get flustered, having him call you that. chigiri likes the fact that he’s able to bring about such an adorable reaction.

kunigami doesn’t call you by this nickname often. actually, he uses your first name most of the time, mostly out of habit (i’m thinking friends-since-forever turned lovers), partly because he feels a little embarrassed giving you a nickname and using it in front of others. BUT ANYWAY, kunigami refers to you as pretty. he’d first called you it by accident, but since you seemed elated by it, decided he’d continue to use it on occasion. “tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, pretty.”

SHIDOU CALLS YOU SWEET GIRL. (🫠🫶) + similar variations like, sweetie or sweetheart, or sweet cheeks. snookums is reserved for when he’s about to tell you he’s done something that will probably annoy you. reason for the nickname? well, you’re sweet! you’ve got a good heart, and won’t swing for people if they say/do anything you don’t like. “are you gonna kiss me goodbye, sweet cheeks? or am i gonna have to chase ya?”

kurona primarily calls you pudding. his reason for it? “i like pudding, and i like you.” i feel like he’s kind of a private person, and only opens up when he feels totally comfortable with someone so, it’s only used when it’s just the two of you around. HOWEVER. private as he is, i think kurona’s got this other side to him. he likes to tease you, just a little. say for example, you’re giving him the silent treatment. he’ll still try and talk to you, but will eventually get tired of not getting any attention. and then, “hey, y/n? can you pass me some napkins?” “…” “…ah, right. you love being called pookie bear, don’t you. POOKIE BEAR, WILL YOU PASS ME SOME NAPKINS?” he’ll pull this kind of stunt in front of your mutual friends when you’re having breakfast together (or something of a similar scenario!). it’s embarrassing, but it gets you to talk at least. he likes having you address him, even if it’s to tell him to, “stop embarrassing me, idiot!”

hiori calls you pumpkin. a little on the cheesy side, but i think it suits him! he isn't embarrassed about referring to you by the name in public either. it shows anyone who might be questioning your relationship that you're definitely together. if it embarrasses you, he'll do his best to tone it down. no promises that he'll never say it though, hiori simply can't help it!

reo rotates between a lot of sweet sounding nicknames. precious, my love, honey. i don't think he does this on purpose, but reo loves using 'my' before a lot of nicknames too. it's just an unconscious reminder that you're all his, and honestly, he's all yours. reo would be all in for any relationship he pursues, and nicknames come with the territory. bonus: he'd be absolutely over the moon if you gave him a cute nickname too. sure, he'd be a little embarrassed if his friends teased him about it, but his heart would swell with pride. being known as the 'sickening, lovey-dovey' couple isn't a bad thing, you know!! "My love, remind me what you wanted me to get you at the store later?"

[bigskydreaming]

Y’know, I’ve posted before about how important it can be to survivors to be in charge of determining when they disclose what happened to them and to whom in what ways…..and thus how the trend of Dick’s ‘secret’ (what happened with Tarantula or Mirage or both) being found out by his family or friends despite his wishes or even his active efforts to keep it secret, and he’s forced to confront it and deal with all of them knowing before he’s ready and made any kind of peace with it himself, and this is often framed as being what’s best for him and its better now that everything’s out in the open and its like….no, that’s not how it works, you can’t FORCE people to recover on YOUR time table, and it happening in a way that gives them no agency or control over it is often a SETBACK instead of like….to their benefit, because while at its heart, disclosure is a relatively simple action, it can be hugely empowering to survivors because its the first time they’re able to definitively take what happened to them and DECIDE what happens next, to take back some of the CONTROL that was ripped away from them by the event and sent their life into a tailspin ever since…..

Ahem. Anyway. Like I said, y’know how I’ve posted before about….all of…well, that?

LOL.

Yeah, so anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about an ideal ‘counter-trend’ that I think could add so much to the view of these parts of Dick’s narrative and character and to discussions about them….and it also IMO is one of the most likely and in character ways that Dick WOULD be likely to disclose what happened to him and make it known to family or friends…..WHILE letting him retain full personal agency over making that choice HIMSELF, for his OWN reasons….

And that’s like…..letting them all find out because Dick makes the personal decision to open up about that to a survivor or recent victim he sees struggling in the aftermath of their own assault. 

Exposing his own vulnerabiltiies and hurt in order to HELP someone, to make something from his own pain, which is one of the key ways IMO that Dick tends to his own trauma and recovery…..using what happened to him as an opportunity to better help others, be there for them, connect with them and give them an easier time of it or more tools to help in their own recovery than he’d had himself. When he’s able to say and do the things a victim really needs to hear right then and there, because he’s been there himself and he’s just saying or doing what he wishes someone had said or done for him but hadn’t known at the time he needed or wanted or even had someone available to ask even if he were able to.

I’d love to read about a Dick Grayson who finds the strength and will to open up about his own secrets and traumas even if it means people close to him finding out and maybe pitying him (which he hates and I think is one of the primary reasons he doesn’t tell people when something bad happens to him oif he can help it) - specifically because its the strength someone needs from him in that moment, and Dick’s personal call to heroism is the need, the drive, to be what someone needs in order to save them if its at all within his capabilities. That’s why he’s a hero IMO: he doesn’t know how to NOT intervene in a situation where he knows his unique talents and skills could help protect or defend someone, save them from pain or loss or dying. He doesn’t WANT to know how.

Gimme a Dick Grayson who swallows down his fears, straightens his shoulders and defiantly tells his primal reptile brain “Fuck his secrets” - he couldn’t save this person from having this thing happen to them, but he can still be a kind of hero to them, for them, by CONNECTING with them, revealing that even he, a bonafide SUPERHERO, can and has been hurt that way, and it sucks and its painful and it wakes him up sometimes in the middle of the night, but he’s still here, he’s still the person HE chooses to be, someone who still laughs and cries and has friends and goals and dreams and bad days but good days as well….show me him being their own personal superhero by cutting straight through the shit their own demons try to convince them of - that this is their fault or they deserved this or it wouldn’t have happened if they were stronger, smarter, BETTER - because when freaking Nightwing, son of the Batman and leader of the Titans and someone superheroes the world over speak of in glowing terms….

When THAT guy looks you straight in the eye and tells you none of that is true, that he knows this because it happened to him too, and it had nothing to do with strength or weakness or deserving it or wanting it……its a HELL of a lot easier to believe coming from him. To internalize. To take in and make a mantra in your head that you can summon forth to remind yourself of whenever doubts start to sneak up on you again.

Sorry not sorry, no disrespect to any specific singular fic out there - I've LITERALLY written one myself (even if a big part of why Born Under A Bad Sign has languished so long is because I realized it wasn't really what I was looking for/to explore for a lot of these very reasons, and in hindsight I felt like I had just gotten caught up in the usual trends of fics about this topic instead of writing from a start point of exploring what I most wanted to see or read about as a survivor) so please don't take this as a slight to anyone who's written something like this. I'd be insulting myself too if that were the case.

But as a TREND, I've really grown to dislike that there's no shortage of stories where Dick's most vulnerable moments and secrets are dragged out of him DESPITE being the last thing he wants at that time, when there's a dearth of fics used to explore...when and how might Dick go about sharing these secrets or opening up about these moments because he WANTS to, because HE feels ready to. Or even exploring what happens or what he goes through if he opens up or shares about these things BEFORE he's actually ready to, because in an attempt to repurpose his trauma into something he feels can help another survivor, he ignored what he was actually feeling about whether he was ready or not to be open about this and have it known by more people.

Just....any and all angles where HE makes the choice, and not just because he HAS to, and even if he later regrets it or it brings up stuff he wasn't as prepared to deal with as he'd convinced himself he was in the moment....there's so many more avenues to be explored here, and I feel like without even thinking about it too much, most of these avenues get shut off as possibilities or turned away from because the sheer volume of fics where other people find out about these moments without Dick's direct disclosure or when he doesn't want them to or isn't ready for them to know, like....this particular direction is so everpresent it narrows focus and creates the kind of tunnel-vision effect we're all familiar with when it comes to all sorts of fandom trends, until it subconsciously feels like its THE only direction to take with all this.

Anyway. Just wanted to raise that discussion point and if anyone knows of any fics that ARE out there like this, feel free to send them my way.

[jmagnabo92]

So I saw a post on Instagram, and it said:

‘Isn't it funny how James Potter decided to bully and harass a malnourished little boy from an abusive family just for existing, and years later, James' son became a malnourished little boy from an abusive family that bullies him just for existing’ 

And all the comments were agreeing and saying things like, ‘Karma’, ‘Glad I’m a James Potter hater’, ‘Don’t understand how he has even one fan’

And I was like… what??? Was so tempted to write a whole thing about it but decided the hate I’d get wasn’t worth it. What are your opinions about this? 

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!!

That's my initial reaction.

Don't these people know that the sins of the father shall not be visited upon the son?

It's not karma for Harry to suffer for James' mistakes. It's bullshit and I hope that no one that believes that has ever done anything wrong in their lives or their kids shall suffer. AND THERE"S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS BS.

Now, let's point out how else they're wrong.

First of all, I had to re-read the Prince's Tale - and mind you, I did skim it so I could've missed things, but there is NO WHERE that says he was 'malnourished' as a boy. Not a single description said anything was physically wrong with Snape like malnourishment. It talks about his mismatched clothes, and his parents arguing. There's a line about James having an 'air of well-cared for - ness that Snape lacked' but there's NOTHING that he states he was malnourished or even abused.

So that's utter BS. I won't argue about the abuse, but there was no evidence that he was malnourished.

As for the about "just for existing" - I think a lot of people forget that SWM canonically happens *after* James saves Snape's life from Werewolf Remus. The reason that it's easy to figure that out is there is a scene with Snape/Lily arguing about the MM thing and she literally mentions James saving him the other night.

The next scene is SWM.

Now, before get into that importance - I want to point out that in the scene about MM & the saving of Snape, Lily asks, "Why are you so obsessed with them?" and if it was a relentlessly unfair bullying situation there's two obvious answers:

A) he's been bullying me for years

B) I have to obsess so I can get one over on them.

He doesn't say either of those things - you know what he *does* say - he says "Potter fancies you"... and more about 'how great he thinks he is'.... isn't that rather suspicious?

You know what's also suspicious? If Snape's being relentlessly bullied than WHY DOESN"T HIS BEST FRIEND KNOW THE OBVIOUS? Maybe because it wasn't a situation of bully/victim - maybe it was a rivalry like Dumbledore suggested in the first book.

Now, back to the timeline:

So James saves his life and yet says "it's the fact that he exists" - which sounds terrible, right?

Of course it does, but here's the thing - Snape had literally as recently possibly two weeks previously (we don't know *exactly* when but sometime between Nov of 5th year and OWLs) had attempted to (at best) OUT Remus (at worst) KILL Remus - who is ONE of James' BFFs. Now - on top of that - we know that Snape has been obsessed with a theory for ages about Remus. We see this in the MM & Saving conversation - Lily says "I know your theory" with the air of someone that has heard his theories before. Given that he only found out *for sure* within a few days of that conversation that suggests that he has been going after Remus for a while.

So, here we have Snape's attempt to get Remus out or killed and James has every reason to hate him - he's a loyal guy. He believes in his friendships so much it cost his life and literally learned something that could put him behind bars *just to help his friend*. Whatever happened, however it happened, that doesn't matter to James.

What *does* matter is that Snape tried to detrimentally hurt his friend. So he has a reason, but in SWM, he literally *can't* say that. He would be outing Remus and he's not going to do that.

Which means he NEVER did anything *just because he exists* - he had a reason, he just couldn't say it.

Now, why does James have fans?

Because he's a good man. This is the man that did stupid shit when he was a teen, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, but nothing he did was ever on par with the things that Snape was doing - I've got a while post on that.

After he grows up, he joins the Order - to do good for people that he doesn't have to care about, yet does. He does so much good, he becomes a target. In that, he then goes on to give his life for wife and son. And they think this man doesn't deserve fans? What Bullshit is this??

***

ANYWAY, my longass point here is that: They're idiots, and I kind of wish that some people had more thought into the situation. James deserves better.

[yeonmuse]

ᥫ᭡ f!reader x yang jungwon ── 𝒢enre. Uni au. fluff, non idol enha. feats. ot7 [reqs are open] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🎧

authors 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈 I honestly have no idea where this came from I just thought of anti social Jungwon and Anti social reader coming together and this is where it got me. This is part of admins Enhypen university Series

ᦓynopsis Jungwon is a film major that finds honestly complete captivated by an antisocial girl with a love for the stars and a passion for music

TAGLIST CLOSED FOR THIS SERIES

Can you hear my heart?

A month had passed since the night of their date, a night in which the two spent most of their time enjoying one another's company, a month in which they received an endless amount of teasing from their friends. A month in which the two spent so much time together that even the members of the film club began to put two and two together and realized that Jungwon had finally found himself someone.

Tonight was their first official gathering since the two had gotten together, the night where Jungwon had planned on making it official. He had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to officially put a title on things, for so long the two had decided to take things slow, but he was now ready to completely claim her as his girlfriend, not just the woman he liked.

“Ah i’m so excited we haven’t all gotten together in so long, especially since you and Jake started working at Moonstruck.” Chaewon plopped herself down onto yns bed as the girl stood in her bathroom perfecting her hair.

“I think the last time we all saw each other in one place was two weeks ago when we first started working there.”

“As much as I hate sharing you with them, it's been nice seeing you get comfortable around more people. I wanted you to first arrive on campus, you were so timide.”

“If you think about it none of this would have ever happened if you hadn’t been so persistent about becoming my friend when i’d visit the library.”

“I never give up, I'd have continued until you got sick of me.” The two girls laugh as she made her way out of the bathroom and grabbed her phone and unlocking it to see three texts from Jungwon

With the biggest smile on her face she slips her phone into her pocket.

“I'm assuming that was Won?”

“Mhm, he says manon keeps asking about me and accusing him of taking me away.”

“And nothing about me? My future wife doesn't even ask about her own girlfriend.”

“Weren’t you two just together this morning before you came here to get ready?” Yn laughs at her best friend's sudden dramatics.

“That was 4 hours ago, I'm having withdrawals.”

“Well let’s go before your withdrawals get worse and you start singing to strangers on the sidewalk about how much you love your girlfriend.”

“Okay that was one time and I was Drunk.” Chaewon defends, earning a laugh from yn as the two of them make their way out of the door. The entire ride with Chaewon and Sunoo consists of the two of them arguing about who they thought was next to get a girlfriend in the group, followed by who they think would be the last.

“Yn will you tell her that Jay is next.”

“Are you stupid? Jay doesnt even talk to anyone, he's always either working or studying? Obviously Sunghoon is next in line? The girls at the rink literally fawn over him?”

“Honestly I think you’re both wrong, I have an honest feeling that Heeseung or Jake could be the next to find someone.”

“Lee Heeseung…?”

“Jake who? As in Sim Jaeyun?”

“You guys may not agree but Heeseung seems pretty set on Sakoia from what Jake has been telling me and recently there's this girl that's been coming into Moonstruck and Jake becomes an absolute mess when she comes in. Yesterday he asked for her name for her order and when she told him he said “oh wow that’s my name too.” That sent both Sunoo and Chaewon into a fit of laughter, they were certainly going to bully him about this.

They had finally arrived at the cafe and after 10 minutes of searching for a good parking spot, made their way inside. Chaewon and Sunoos' eyes spotted Jake talking to Jay and they immediately ran off to use the information they had just gained against him.

“..Do you have any idea how breathtaking you look at this moment?” She knew it was none other than Jungwon, his arm slipped around her waist from behind and he buried his face in her neck, taking in her intoxicating scent.

“Hi love.” She smiles and tangles their fingers together, resting against his chest and enjoying the momentary comfort before turning to face him.

“You look so handsome, I think the blonde hair surely suits you, makes it harder to look away from you.” He can’t help but smile proudly at the way she ogles him, he instantly melts against her touch as she reaches up and brushes her fingers through his hair. He leans in closer, adjusting herself to his height which makes her heart skip a beat, they were so close to one another. Jungwon on the other hand was completely resisting the urge to pull her in by her waist and kiss her right then and there, but he wouldn’t. He’d wait for the perfect opportunity to kiss her, he needed their first kiss to be special, not just for himself but for her.

“Uh love birds, will you two hurry along before Sunghoon decides to skip what we’re thankful for and just eat.” yn simply laughs and Jungwon takes her hand into his, leading her over to join the others.

The dinner had gone by smoothly, and for once Heeseung and Chaewon hadn’t spent the night bickering with one another. Yn found herself sitting back and smiling at everyones interactions. Back then if she had been told that she would have this many friends, or someone like Jungwon at her side she’d have never believed it. But she stood there staring at the new family that now surrounded her feeling nothing but absolute joy, she no longer needed to rely on music or even the stars for her happiness because she had everything she needed right there.

“You seem happy baby.” Jungwons hand slips around her waist and his head rests on top of hers as he joins her in watching the others.

“Mm I am, seeing everyone together, it just makes me happy, I’ve never really had anyone get close to me so to have this many people in my presence to call friends.” She smiles up at him as he turns her around to face him.

“And if you feel that happy about them, then…what do I make you feel?” Her heart skipped a beat at the question, the way he stared down at her making butterflies swarm the pit of her stomach.

“Happy, like nothing else around me matters even if I'm with you. Can’t look at anyone else, can’t think of anyone else.”

“Mhm.” Jungwon hums in response, as he now had her gazing up at him with so much love and admiration, he could no longer hold himself back. Placing his hand beneath her head his thumb brushes against her lips and he closes the space between the two of them. Sparks began to fly as their lips connected. Both of their heartbeats are growing insanely fast. His heart had been beating so intensely that he thought anyone around them was bound to hear it. As their lips finally part he stares down at her, one hand resting on her waist the other on the back of her neck.

“Be my girlfriend, don’t look at anyone else, don’t think of anyone else, just me…as mine, be mine and only mine.”

She felt so overwhelmed an overwhelming feeling of joy had overcome her, yet she was also still completely dazed from the kiss.

“Took you long enough to ask me.” She finally responds, making Jungwon breathe out a sigh of relief and pull her into his arms.

“Can you hear my heart right now? I thought it’d burst out of my chest if I had to wait any longer to know your answer. ” He laughs as she nuzzles her head into his chest, trying to hide away, having grown shy after the two of them just now having had their first kiss.

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🔖 @jwonistic @jiamini @sol3chu @firstclassjaylee

[erimeows]

To Be Selfish (NSFW)

Kakashi Hatake stands at the village gates with a ratty binder in his hands, flipping between multiple pages as the cool morning air blows through his silvery locks. 

A map, blurry pictures of the two men he’s been ordered to kill, descriptions of their jutsu, and a note with their most recent location following an encounter with another one of Konoha’s Anbu, who was found just over a night ago. 

It should be enough information for the two of you to succeed.

The time on his watch shows that it’s just past six in the morning. The sun is rising and painting the sky blue, purple, yellow, and orange in its wake. It’s cool, but not cold, though the incessant breeze in the air makes goosebumps raise on Kakashi’s arms while he waits for you.

Kakashi was ordered to meet you here at five thirty. Supposedly, the Hokage informed you of the rendezvous location as well. Kakashi was late due to him stopping to see Obito, Rin, Minato, Kushina, Might Dai, and his own father at the cemetery. Now, it’s half an hour past the time you were supposed to meet him and you still aren’t there.

Kakashi isn’t sure if you’re ditching him or if you’re going to show up late on purpose to piss him off. As the captain of Team Ro, he’s always tried to maintain decent relationships with his subordinates; you, Itachi, and Tenzo. However, the moment you were added to the team, it was clear that you had a bit of a crush on Kakashi. You were getting too close, trying to coddle him on missions, making him food, bringing him gifts, and constantly putting yourself in harm’s way for him. 

Though you’re much different than Rin, your behavior wasn’t. Kakashi still has nightmares about his old friend impaling herself on his chidori almost every time he tries to sleep for his sake, for the village’s sake- and he knows that, if something like that happens to him again, he’ll fall into the darkness and be unable to get himself out of it. 

He can’t lose someone again. He’s too damaged to do it again.

Admittedly, his solution to the problem may not have been the best one he could’ve come up with. Instead of having a genuine conversation with you about his past and telling you that he isn’t in the mental space to get attached to another person right now, let alone one who’s constantly in danger while working in Anbu, he did what was easy and pushed you away. He chewed you out for defending him during missions, belittled your abilities, avoided you at all costs, and rejected anything you tried to give or do for him- and rather than the cold indifference he’s so used to pushing people away with, he did it in the most hateful way possible, just to make sure it worked.

And it did. His plan worked better than he ever wanted it to. Now, instead of the puppy-like crush you had on him before, you hate him. Kakashi is fully aware that it’s his fault, but he’s too embarrassed to come clean to you. He also knows that he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness for how he’s hurt your feelings. So, he continues to pretend to hate you. Neither Itachi nor Tenzo have dared to ask about it, but it has negatively affected the team dynamic during training and missions.

Kakashi starts to assume that you aren’t coming and turns to leave, but right then, he hears slow and quiet footsteps approaching. He looks over his shoulder to see you in full armor, (h/l) (h/c) hair pulled back and your (e/c) eyes sparkling under the rising sun. If Kakashi’s body goes hot, he blames it on the impending sunlight, rather than on his love for you. 

It’s not you that makes him burn bright red from the top of his forehead, to the tips of his ears, to his neck, to the top of his chest…

Okay, maybe it is.

But you don’t need to know that.

“It’s not like those two to be late… They’re not late, are they? Why is it just us?” You ask, looking around as if you’re waiting for Itachi and Tenzo to appear. Kakashi can’t help but be disappointed by how bothered you seem that it’s just him. “I’d rather really not be stuck alone with you. The other two are much more personable.”

“Seems like Tenzo and Itachi are still in recovery after the last mission, so they couldn’t come along. Honestly, though, this shouldn’t require too much manpower. I don’t know why the Hokage is having me take you,” Kakashi coldly replies, even though the Hokage told him whether or not he made you come on this mission was up to his discretion since he’s the captain of Team Ro. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You huff.

“It’s supposed to mean that I could do it by myself.”

“Then why am I here if I could be in bed right now, you fucker?”

“Just in case.”

“See, you’re not nearly as confident as you say you are.”

“Don’t question me. I am your captain.”

And, as always, you immediately question him.

“What are we doing, anyway?”

“We’ve got a couple of B-rank assassins on our hands from Kusa. Our job is to take them out and dispose of their bodies.”

“There’s only two and they’re both B-rank? Why are they sending us?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “That’s honestly a little insulting considering we both have S-ranks in their bingo books over there.”

“While neither of them are particularly talented, their combo ability is dangerous,” Kakashi says. When you open your mouth to ask yet another question, Kakashi interrupts by rambling on, mostly because he’s skirting around explaining the enemies’ jutsu to you… It’s rather lewd and uncomfortable, to say the least. “That’s why S-rank shinobi are required to take them down. Don’t underestimate your opponent just because of their bingo book ranking. They could always be downplaying their strength.”

“Well? Spill; what is it that these guys do?”

Kakashi freezes. In order to succeed in this mission, you have to be aware of what your enemies are capable of. Still- it’s awkward to actually have to talk about something sexual, especially with you. 

“It’s, uh… Sex pollen,” He stammers out after a little too long.

“Sex pollen?” You tilt your head back and laugh, pointing a finger at him as if he’s joking- no, as if you’re making fun of him- even when you can clearly see the embarrassment that’s painted on his face. “Like in those weird fucking books you read?”

“Oh, shut up,” Kakashi turns his body to avoid your gaze. Honestly, he prefers the way you were before- sweet and considerate of his feelings- but he also knows that your constant teasing makes him want you even more than he did before for whatever reason. He continues to avoid your eyes, but hands you the binder full of information about the shinobi you have to assassinate and their location so you can read through it. “Anyway… Yeah. The jutsu caster releases a type of pollen into the air from nearby plants that acts as an intense aphrodisiac. It’s apparently so intense that, once you’ve inhaled it, it takes effect within half an hour and leaves you unable to do anything until you find relief.”

You quirk a brow up at that, confusion lacing your expression.

“Find relief?”

Kakashi sighs.

“Are you really going to make me say it?”

“I need all the details I can get if we’re going to fight these people, Kakashi. Don’t be such a prude.”

“Relief as in… Orgasm with another person. Pretty much, you’re left without the ability to fight, so the enemy has an opening to kill you while you’re vulnerable. If you somehow manage to escape them before it takes effect, but don’t find the ‘relief’ you need to break the jutsu, it’ll put so much pressure on your heart from the increased blood flow that you’ll die after a few hours- that is, if you can resist the urge to screw whoever’s closest. It’s much different than natural human arousal, or even anything that any medications could cause.” 

“It’s strong enough that even skilled shinobi can’t resist it? And why can’t you just masturbate to get rid of it?”

“Apparently even strong shinobi are vulnerable- it just takes longer for it to take affect. If you try to make it go away by masturbating, it won’t work. One of our guys was found dead from it recently because he went solo and tried to take care of himself after inhaling it, and they managed to get a sample of the pollen from his lungs and nasal passageways to take for testing, but the medical core hasn’t been able to come up with an antidote just yet. They said it’s very complicated and that they’ve never seen any other pollen like it. In the meantime, they want us to take care of the two; they’ve gone rogue from their village and been using this ability to kill any shinobi who try to capture them, and they’ve even used it to rob innocent civilians so they can afford whatever lifestyle it is they’re living as rogues.”

“Wait, you said there were two of them. If there’s one using this pollen jutsu, what does the other one do that’s so dangerous?”

“While the first is from a clan that can use this pollen-based jutsu, the other is from a neighboring clan that has a natural immunity to the released pollen. In Kusa, the two clans are known to work together for missions frequently,” Kakashi explains. “So the jutsu user would be able to inhibit us with the pollen, while the shinobi with the immunity would strike immediately after and remain unaffected, as to allow the jutsu user to focus on keeping us under the influence of the pollen.”

“Sounds tricky.”

“Precisely. It seems that they’ve been blessed with these kekkai genkai but are still relatively unskilled and have been wounded by shinobi unaware of their abilities. Even though they killed him in the end, the last ninja we sent out apparently wounded them both really badly before he went down,” Kakashi finishes. He takes the binder from your hands and returns it to where it was in his backpack. “So if we can find them in time and strike while they’re vulnerable, we’ll be able to take them down without an issue.”

“And that’s why you brought me, right?”

“Yes,” Kakashi answers. You were born with a rare kekkai genkai that not only allows you to sense chakra from a much further range than the average sensory type, but also allows you to sense whether the person’s primary chakra is wind, lightning, earth, fire, or water. “As talented as I am, I’m no sensory type.”

“So, really, you couldn’t do this by yourself,” You grin, playfully smacking Kakashi’s shoulder.

“I could use my hounds and do it by myself just fine,” He argues. “You, however, require less chakra use from me since I don’t have to summon you.”

“I bet you wish you could.”

“I’m glad I can’t. It’s not like we need to be any closer than we’re made to be,” Kakashi sighs, but he finds that all he wants is to be close to you. Still, there’s no making amends for how he’s treated you lately- all in a fucked up attempt to push you away just because of his own issues. “Last I heard, they were on the border between here and Kusa, on the north side. That’s around where they found the Anbu they killed, and with how injured they supposedly are, there’s no way they’ll make it too far without running into us. If we make good time, we’ll be able to find them.”

“You really trust in my tracking abilities that much?” You question.

You’re looking for validation. Kakashi can tell. Lately, he’d tell you ‘no’ or that you’re just more convenient than any alternatives, but even if it feels impossible, he wants to fix things. So, he tries to choose his words carefully.

“As much as I hate to admit it…” Kakashi pauses, then responds. “Yes, I do, but don’t let that get to your head.”

“Fine,” You huff and walk ahead with your arms crossed over your chest. “Let’s go, then.”

~

As much as you love Kakashi Hatake, you also despise him.

The two of you arrive on the south side of the border between Konoha and Kusa after a long, awkward, silent journey. Kakashi didn’t utter so much as a word to you during the multi-hour walk. 

When the two of you arrive at the cabin, you thank whatever god is out there for the fact that Tenzo exists. Shortly after you were assigned to Team Ro, the brunette started using his jutsu to build small cabins for you all to stay in, particularly on certain borders or in certain cities that the four of you frequent often for missions. With Kusa being a developing ninja nation compared to the major five, Konoha ninja are sent there frequently to assist them- and, behind the scenes- to keep them under control, lest they upset the balance between the ninja nations that has only just now started to settle after decades of war. 

The cabin is good, but still one of the worst ones. You don’t mind it much as you’re mostly just excited that you don’t have to sleep outside in a tent.

Being on a mission with Kakashi is stressful enough.

When you walk in, you’re reminded that there’s only one large bed. It wouldn’t be unusual for you and your three teammates to share it, but now that it’s just Kakashi here… Your heart flutters in excitement.

Much to your disappointment, however, as you shut the door behind you and set your bag down, Kakashi starts to complain about the arrangement.

“Only one bed. Of course, the one time we get landed in a place with one bed, it’s when I’m on a mission with you instead of one of the others,” Kakashi shakes his head and carelessly drops his bag to the floor. He doesn’t even spare you a glance as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls out his stupid book. It’s crazy to you that he reads romance novels all the time, yet ignores your obvious feelings for him. “And the thing’s big enough for four people… I’m going to ask Tenzo to start making more beds when he assembles these mission cabins for us.”

“Oh, please, Kakashi,” You reply and sit on the back of the bed. “I’ll be sure not to lay anywhere near you. Hell, I’ll sleep on the floor if you want.”

“No, don’t,” Kakashi quickly objects. The tiny bit of his cheeks that peeks out from beneath his mask is dyed bright red with a blush. “Your uh… Your back will hurt.”

You blink at him, then ask-

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes,” Kakashi answers as if he’s not being weird about this. You just continue to give him the most incredulous, judgmental stare you can possibly muster. “Our mission could be compromised if you’re in pain.”

“Okay, great! You’ll sleep on the floor, then,” You respond with a shit-eating grin that you know pisses Kakashi off more than anything.

“No, I won’t.”

You shrug.

“Then I’ll sleep in the floor and compromise our mission.”

“Just get in the bed,” Kakashi grumbles and strips down. You watch before you can think better of it, but if Kakashi notices, he doesn’t say anything. Your mouth waters at the sight of his bare back, muscles and pale skin covered in a flurry of scars. The defined muscles he has shift underneath his arms and shoulders as he- disappointingly- moves to the very edge of the bed and lies on his side with a blanket dragged on top of him to cover up his body. His mask remains on his neck, which bothers you, but you know better than to pry about why he wears the damn thing 24/7. “I promise I won’t touch you unless you want me to.”

At that, your heart skips a beat. Unless you want him to? Does that mean that he wants to? You struggle to speak, stuttering over the words you’re trying to force out. The worst part of you wants to make fun of him, but all you can do is ask him to clarify what he meant.

“Unless I want you to?”

“That came out wrong,” Kakashi quickly mutters and squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to look at you. “Just… Lay down. I’ll sleep on the edge. Pakkun will keep watch for us outside and wake us up when enemies come or when eight hours have passed- whichever comes first.”

“Fine,” You sigh and strip down to your underclothes as well. You swear that you feel Kakashi’s eyes on you, if only for a second, but when you check to see if he’s peeking, his eyes are still screwed shut. You lie on the side of the bed opposite to Kakashi, facing away from him and staring at the wall to save you the embarrassment of getting scolded or told to go away like he would’ve done back when you made your feelings for him obvious. “Goodnight, Kakashi.”

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

~

Kakashi wakes up in the middle of the bed. He’s always moved a lot in his sleep, but he’s still surprised to find himself turned onto his other side with his arms wrapped around…

You?

Yes, you. You’re fast asleep, snuggled into Kakashi’s chest as he holds you in his arms. Your face appears so peaceful like this, your lashes fluttering against your cheeks and your sleep-rustled hair framing your face. You’re only in a tank top and the shorts you wear under your uniform, so your warm (s/c) skin is pressed up against Kakashi’s. He notices the soft peaks of your breast squished against his chest and decides that enough is enough. He’d hate for you to wake up and see him holding you like this, especially when it wasn’t intentional.

He pulls away from you and checks the time on his watch. It’s only been six hours since the two of you went to sleep, but that should be more than enough. He’s stayed up for days at a time for missions before and he doesn’t want to waste so much time sleeping that the enemy manages to get away. 

Careful not to wake you up, Kakashi showers in the bathroom, changes his clothes, and goes outside to talk to Pakkun, who he had keeping watch overnight.

“Pakkun, anything to report?”

“I sent Biscuit to scout everything nearby. Seems like animals can’t sense this pollen from the reports you showed me before,” Pakkun answers. “But he sniffed out a couple ninja close by. They’re north of here, staying in a small shack. He said they smelled nervous but that he didn’t know if they were aware of you being nearby or not. Need us to guide you to where they are?”

“No, thank you. You’ve been working for more than six hours straight now, so you’ve done enough,” Right as Kakashi says that, he hears your footsteps. You stand in the doorway just a couple feet behind, listening in. “Plus, I’ve got (y/n) here to help me pinpoint them now that you’ve given us a general direction to work with. Please, go rest.”

“Stop acting like I’m old and need to rest all the time, Kakashi. It’s not like I’m on death’s door,” Pakkun huffs, scratching his paws against the dirt floor. “Not that I don’t appreciate the extra naps…”

Pakkun disappears in a cloud of smoke. Kakashi looks at you over his shoulder. Your hair is damp and the pleasant scents of perfume, soap, shampoo, and conditioner waft off of you in gentle waves. He assumes you must’ve showered right after he finished and went outside to communicate with Pakkun.

“Let’s go,” He says.

You silently nod. The two of you pack up, erase any traces of your shared presence from the cabin, and head out. 

Once again, the journey is silent. 

You and Kakashi travel up north by foot, staying in the trees of the forest so you can’t get ambushed from above or below. Neither of you talk, even as you get close to where the enemies are supposed to be. Kakashi still feels awkward about how he woke up this morning, and he isn’t sure whether or not you cuddled into him last night on purpose- or if you even know that it happened. You seem like you’re still mad about the spat the two of you had about the sleeping arrangements.

“I’m sensing two strong chakra sources up ahead… About half a mile,” You pause, stopping on a random branch and closing your eyes so you can focus on sensing the chakra signature. Kakashi listens and places a firm hand on one of your shoulders to keep you steady. “They’re high Chunin level, maybe low Jonin if they’re injured or trying to mask their chakra. I’m sensing water and earth in one of them… And the other is totally unfamiliar. I’ve never felt anything like it before.”

“Wood style is a combination of water and earth, so it wouldn’t be crazy to assume that someone who uses a plant-based kekkai genkai would use a combination of water and earth style. The other one is immune to the pollen as well as various types of poison but hasn’t been sighted yet using any elemental jutsu, so who knows what kind of chakra they have… These must be our guys. The jutsu has a range of about thirteen hundred feet, so we can’t alert them of our presence or we’re done for.”

“What should we do?”

“I’m surprised you’re consulting me,” Kakashi responds, to which you open your eyes and shoot him a sharp glare. “Hide your chakra and be as quiet as you can. We’ll stake out to see what they’re up to and get the drop on them.”

“Okay.”

The two of you eventually locate the shack you were told the enemies would be in. There’s a small window that you can see through as the two of you hide on the branch of a tree, seemingly out of sight from the two men. One of them is a brunette who sits at the table with his back facing the window. The other is a blond who stands across from the other, facing the window. Both are in standard Kusa ninja uniforms, and the blond has a standard Kusa forehead protector with a slash cut through it.

“We’ll wait until they move to do something or start talking to each other. Then I’ll use my chidori, break through the window, and kill them both,” Kakashi strategizes. “Your job is to follow close behind me. When I hit the first one, there will be a split second for the other to try and escape or counter me if he’s skilled enough. If he tries anything, kill him or find a way to keep him in the path of my chidori without getting yourself hurt.”

“So, what, you get to do everything and I’m just here as your contingency plan?”

Kakashi rolls his eyes at that. 

“Pretty much, so get over it.”

Just then, the blond shinobi starts to talk to his partner. His face changes. He appears paranoid and panicked. Is there any way he could have sensed you and Kakashi? …No, if that were the case, they would’ve moved to attack by now.

Everything seems to be going well enough, and the two men seem distracted. He makes eye contact with you and gives you a nod to let you know that you should ready yourself for combat.

You nod back. 

Kakashi channels his chakra to his hand to activate the chidori. With how fast it is, neither enemy should be able to do much of anything in retaliation- at least not in time to cast the pollen jutsu on him, especially with you acting as back up. 

Kakashi takes a deep breath and looks over at you. His heart starts to beat harder in his chest. Arousal shoots throughout his body like electricity. For a moment, he assumes it’s because of your presence, but then he catches a scent that’s… Sweet, just like how that pollen has been described to smell.

Kakashi looks at the enemy again. The one sitting with his back to the table seems relaxed, as the one standing upright a few feet in front of him is holding a hand sign; casting a jutsu.

“Shit,” He whispers.

“What is it?”

“Are you stupid? Or can you just not smell anything? We inhaled it, it’s sickeningly sweet,” Kakashi hisses, shaking his head to try to get the smell out of his nostrils. It doesn’t work. Just then, you slap your hands over your nose, seeming to have gotten a whiff of it too. “The enemy must have been using his jutsu as a precaution!”

“What do we do?” You demand, panic lacing your expression.

“Kill them now before they have the chance to take advantage of our weakened state,” Kakashi orders, and knowing the dire situation, you don’t argue with him.

“Yes.”

The two of you continue with the original plan. When Kakashi charges through the window with a ball of lightning attached to his hand, the two men look incredibly shocked to see that he’s even standing, and don’t have the time to counter him. Within a minute, both are dead on the floor of the shack, but the effects of the pollen don’t subside. Kakashi rushes to wash the blood off of his hands in the sink while you sit on the floor with your (s/c) cheeks flushed and pathetic little pants falling from in between your lips.

“This is bad…” Kakashi covers his masked nose with his hand, but it doesn’t help in the slightest.

“What does it matter? They’re both dead now! Shouldn’t it wear off?”

“That doesn’t mean anything- just because they’re dead doesn’t mean that the jutsu doesn’t have any effect. That’s like saying a fire style jutsu won’t burn a forest down after being shot at a tree just because you killed the user afterwards,” Kakashi scoffs, but he’s barely even able to form logical thoughts, let alone get the words out. Any normal civilian would’ve fully succumbed to this pollen by now and either had sex with the closest person or died. “Go look and see if you can find an antidote on him or the other one.”

“Why do I have to do it?” You complain with a pouty lip.

“Just do it! The pollen’s already starting to get to the both of us, and if we don’t figure something out soon, you know what’s going to happen.”

“Shit,” You gasp. You’ve quickly searched both men’s weapon pouches and bags, but based on the defeat in your voice, Kakashi assumes you didn’t find anything. “There’s nothing but kunai and paper bombs!”

“What about in their pockets?”

You quickly search the mens’ pockets.

“Nothing!”

“God dammit,” Kakashi straightens his back, then roughly grabs you by the bicep and drags you up so you’re standing on your feet. “We have to get out of here, now.”

“Shouldn’t we split up?”

“Are you insane? If they have any back up coming and they catch us alone with the state we’re about to be in, we’ll be killed. You know it’s not uncommon for rogue ninja to work together in large bands. This could be a hideout, and if more of them come back and find these ones dead, we’re done for!”

“What, like an enemy catching us fucking nearby instead of alone would be any better for us?” You shoot back. Kakashi can’t help but be angry that, regardless of your previous feelings for him, you’d literally rather split up and risk both of you dying than dare to have sex with him. “At least if we’re alone, we die with some dignity!”

“Why does dignity even matter at this point if we’re like-” Kakashi groans and gestures wildly to himself; his head, which is fuzzy with lust, and his dick, which is hard as a fucking rock- then to you. “Like this? I refuse to compromise our lives to save your pride!”

“So, what?” You yell back, throwing your hands up in frustration. “We have to do it or we die?”

“I can’t reasonably violate your consent, but if it’s what we have to do to stay alive, and you’d let me,” Kakashi breathes out. He’s so ashamed of himself for letting this happen to the two of you that he can’t even meet your eyes. “Yes.”

“Look, Kakashi,” You gather your composure for just long enough to form rational thoughts and tell him- “I know you don’t like me, but we have to figure something out. Let’s get back to camp and resolve it from there.”

At that, Kakashi sighs. 

“Who ever said I didn’t like you?”

Unsurprisingly, you don’t respond. Your mind is so clouded that all you can do is focus on getting back to the cabin without tackling Kakashi to the ground and taking him for yourself right then and there.

Worst of all, Kakashi can’t say that he’s doing much better.

~

When the two of you return to your hideout, you find yourself sitting hunched up in the corner. Meanwhile, Kakashi is restless, suggesting alternative solutions that both of you know won’t work.

“It’s getting worse,” Kakashi murmurs, frazzled and aroused. You’ve never seen him in either state let alone both at the same time. Kakashi is your captain, the rock of your team. As much as you act like you hate him, and as much as you boast about your own power, his consistent strength and talent at getting your team out of bad situations is what keeps you from spiraling in circumstances such as this. Now that he’s spiraling, you’re even more panicked, knowing that there’s no way out of this. “I can barely think.”

“I can see that,” You say the words as condescendingly as you can, but if you’re being honest, the sight of Kakashi’s length straining against his already tight pants is enough to make your situation worse. Even with the thick black cloth of the Anbu uniform, you swear you see all seven- or maybe six?- inches of it twitch. You force yourself to roll your eyes and look away from the man, who frantically paces the room. “If your dick gets any harder, it might burst through your pants. Seriously, looks like you could cut fucking diamonds with that thing.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re doing much better,” Kakashi snaps back at you. 

You offer nothing but a sardonic sort of cackle in return regardless of the fact that his words are true. You were so hot that you stripped yourself of your shoes, socks, pants, and armor as soon as you made it through the door of the cabin- Kakashi’s presence and your dignity be damned. You wore the stupid ‘sexy’ (f/c) bra and panties that you keep in your underwear drawer at home, on the off chance that you’d act on your feelings during this mission and get the chance to have sex with your captain.

You laugh even harder at the thought of that- if only you’d known just yesterday what would happen. Now, the two of you are in this cabin together, hormones going crazy, drenched in sweat, in desperate need of relief, with you in your soaked panties and Kakashi’s clothes soaked in blood. 

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.”

Kakashi sits on the floor in front of you. He’s close- too close. It takes everything in you not to climb on top of him and rock his world. 

“Why do you think I don’t like you?”

Of all things… Of all things, in the situation the two of you are in, horny out of your goddamn minds and using what little restraint you have left to keep from jumping each other’s bones without consent, Kakashi is asking about your feelings. 

You thought you were easy enough to read.  

You thought that, eventually, Kakashi would look at you and figure out that you’d loved him from the start and still do, even after everything the two of you have said and done to each other.

Apparently not.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” You snarl, gritting your teeth and clenching your legs together in hopes that it’ll put an end to the arousal pooling between them. If anything, the friction makes it worse, as even the slightest pressure on your clit has you biting your lip to keep from letting out any noise. “It’s not like you care.”

“Of course I fucking care,” Kakashi yells. You’ve seen him angry, sure, but you’ve never heard him yell. You snap your head around to look at him so quickly that your neck hurts as your (e/c) eyes go wide at his words. “Why do you think I had you come with me on this mission in the first place?”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I love you,” Kakashi suddenly confesses. He holds his head in his hands as he pulls his knees up to his chest. Your ears start to ring so loud that you don’t hear the rest of what he says. “And I thought I could do it by myself, but I knew Itachi and Tenzo were still in the hospital, so I dragged you with me anyways because I was selfish and wanted to spend time with you alone for once- and now we’re like this, and it’s my fault.”

“You shouldn’t love me,” You object, cheeks red and mind racing. You’re not sure if it’s the confession or the pollen that’s causing it, but you find that your heart is beating so hard and fast against your chest that you can’t even swallow because you can feel it in your throat. “That’s not right- it can’t be! Why would you be so cold to me all this time if you loved me?”

“Because I was stupid and didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I was scared of losing you like I’ve lost everyone else I’ve gotten close to, so I pushed you away… But I promise you, (y/n), I love you more than anything.”

“It… It can’t be.”

“It can’t? Then tell me how to stop, (y/n). Tell me how to stop loving you,” Kakashi demands. He pauses, carefully waiting for a response. He pulls his forehead protector off and tosses it across the room. It hits the wall then falls to the floor with a clatter. Briefly you wonder what it would be like for him to use that sort of brute force on you, but you’re distracted by Kakashi’s ungloved hands on the sides of your face and his eyes peering into yours; one a deep charcoal and one a brilliant ruby red that you swear glows against the darkness of the house under the night sky. “No, seriously. Spare me.”

“I thought you hated me,” You whisper, closing your eyes to avoid Kakashi’s.

“I don’t.”

“What, so you brought me back here instead of having us split up so you could fuck me? Because you love me? Is that what you want?”

“You’re kidding me,” Kakashi shakes his head at you and jerks his hands away from your skin like you’re poison. He turns his back to you, groaning. “This is the opposite of what I want. I…”

“You what?”

“I never thought you’d return my feelings again after how I treated you. I still don’t expect you to,” Kakashi sighs. His gaze flickers from the wooden floor to your face. Finally, when his eyes meet yours, you see the genuine emotion in his face- and you’re able to swallow your pride. “But if you did, I wanted our first time together to be…”

“What, romantic? Sweet?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi answers, then scoffs. “This must be hilarious to you.”

At Kakashi’s apparent defeat, you soften. Even after everything that’s happened… You can admit that the two of you have been meaner to each other than what was ever necessary.

“A little bit. I can’t say I didn’t expect it, though. I’ve seen the books you read,” You offer an awkward sort of half smile and scoot forward so you can rest a reassuring hand on Kakashi’s shoulder from behind. Unsurprisingly, he flinches at the touch. Thankfully, though, he doesn’t move away or tell you to stop. “But I’d lie if I said I didn’t want the same thing.”

“You mean you…?” Kakashi trails off and looks back at you from over his shoulder.

“Mhm,” You nod.

Kakashi hurriedly turns around to face you again, putting both of his hands on your shoulders and gripping them tight.

“I don’t want you to have sex with me just because of- of this,” He says, frustration lacing his voice, to which you offer a half-hearted shrug.

“We don’t have much of a choice, unless you want to die here,” You climb into Kakashi’s lap and yank his mask down before he can object. The garment hangs loosely around his neck. You continue as you take in the sight of his face; so beautiful, with scarred porcelain skin, red cheeks, and soft-looking lips. At this point, most shinobi- and every average civilian- would’ve broken and given in to the urges of the sex pollen jutsu by now. You’re also desperate to get some sort of relief- and more so, desperate for Kakashi himself after having waited so long for this. “The quicker we get it over with, the quicker we can go home, and the higher chance we have for survival.”

“Fuck, you’re right,” Kakashi grumbles and carries you to the bed, where he sits with his back against the bedframe and your body still in his lap. You flinch when he reaches into his weapons pouch at lightning speed, only to be pleasantly surprised when he flicks a kunai upwards to cut your armor, shirt, and bra into pieces. The garments fall onto the floor and leave you exposed to his lust-glazed eyes. “Let’s get started, then.”

“You owe me a new lingerie set, asshole. You better buy me one when we get back, because that was expensive, and I wore it for you,” You scold at the sight of your bra, undershirt, and armor cut to shreds and being thrown to the floor by one of Kakashi’s large hands. “Armor, too.”

Kakashi doesn’t even dignify your orders with a response- instead choosing to focus on your other comment

“You wore them for me, did you?” He hums You stare in awe at the sight of his exposed face. “That’s… Actually really sweet, (y/n).”

“Don’t be such a sap,” You scold and move so you can take your underwear off and toss them to the floor. “And while we’re at it, it’s unfair that I have all my clothes off while you’re still fully dressed.”

“Then help me get my clothes off before this pollen makes me lose my mind. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

You do as told and help Kakashi strip off his socks, pants, and boxers. Your eyes go slightly wide at the size when his hard dick springs out from underneath his clothing. 

You climb back into his lap and pause. 

“I never thought I’d see you like this.”

“I never thought I’d get to see you like this either,” Kakashi smiles. You realize that, even after this, you would like to see his smile more. Seeing his face without that stupid mask on it is refreshing after so long of only receiving that cold one-eyed stare of his. “Can I touch you?”

“Sure, just do it slowly to start with.”

“I can do that.”

Slowly, just as he promises, Kakashi touches you. He starts with squeezing your thighs and your ass. When you shudder at the motions, he continues by running his hands up and down the length of your waist, then moving them back up to cup your tits and fondle them tightly. His lips are on you seconds later; on your belly, up to the center of your chest, peppering your (s/c) skin in kisses before one of them is wrapped around your nipple. He sucks the bud to full hardness and pinches the other between two of his fingers, then alternates until both are fully stiff under the cool air. 

The effects of the pollen are starting to get to you. You were the one who instructed him to take it slow, but waiting for him to give you the relief you so desperately need is killing you. You can feel the thoughts in your head becoming less coherent.

Kakashi pulls his mouth away from you and reaches between your legs. At first, he simply touches your folds and playfully explores the area as if he’s teasing you. Just as you’re about to scold him for doing so, two fingers are being thrusted in and out of your soaked entrance. You groan and curl forward. You’re so, so relieved that you’re finally being touched, but so frustrated that you still need to cum for the pollen to wear off. Kakashi uses his thumb to toy with your clit and watches his drenched fingers disappear into you with intent.

“A-Ah… Don’t look at me like that,” You pout, glancing at the wall past Kakashi’s shoulders. “You’re making me self-conscious.”

“There’s nothing for you to be self-conscious about, especially compared to me,” Kakashi responds in a low tone. Your eyes snap back to him. What does he mean, compared to him? Regardless of his hand palming you and his deft fingers teasing your clit between your slick folds, you find yourself staring at Kakashi’s body. What could he have to be self-conscious about…? He has a perfectly sculpted body, beautiful porcelain skin, soft silver hair, dainty thin lips, and sharp eyes. The only things you could think of would be the infinite amount of scars he has, but you’ve never thought anything of them. “You’re beautiful, always, but especially like this.”

“You don’t have anything to be self-conscious about either, you idiot.”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything to that, instead looking at where he’s thrusting his fingers in and out of your cunt, and then up at your sweat-dampened face. 

“You ready?” Kakashi asks, to which you nod your head. 

Kakashi gently pulls his fingers from you and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance. It’s large enough that your eyes widen at the sight of your hips being pulled down onto it. You’re so wet that he gets it in without much trouble, but the tightness and the friction of it has both of you letting out a choked sort of noise and melting into each other. 

“Kakashi,” You cry out as you struggle to take his length all at once. Even with the slight amount of prep he did mixed with the pre-existing slickness from the pollen, it’s so large and thick that the stretch borders on painful. “Kakashi, I can’t-”

“What, you can’t handle me?”

“I can-” You start, then gasp when Kakashi’s hands on your hips shift your lower body closer to him. Your tits are pressed flush against his upper chest, your belly brushes against his shredded abs, and you’re filled to the brim with his cock. When he bucks his hips up into you to meet the bounces of yours, he slips a hand between your legs and massages your clit. With a sharp inhale, you manage to force out the following words as you dig your nails into his shoulders. “I can handle you.”

“Typical (y/n). You’ve always loved to challenge me,” Kakashi whispers, nipping at the shell of your ear as he does. “Fuck…”

Kakashi pulls back to look you in the eye. In the darkness of the cabin, the two of you are only slightly illuminated by the moonlight that pours in through the window. The one other light source is the ruby red glow of Kakashi’s sharingan. It feels like it’s piercing through you as you watch the tomoe swirl. You realize that he’s recording this moment, this love, for himself.

Maybe he’s loved you for longer than you thought. 

That love is evident in the way he stares at you like he’s obsessed, evident in the way he touches your body like it’s a masterpiece, evident in the way he fucks up into your body like he’s been waiting forever for this, evident in the way he whispers sweet nothings to you like you’re something to be cherished instead of just a teammate or even just a friend. 

Kakashi wraps his arm around you and holds you close so he can fuck you hard. It’s been a bit since you’ve done anything with anyone- Anbu is a cold, hardening organization and most of the time, at the end of the day, you just want to collapse onto your bed and cry yourself to sleep. On the occasions that you’ve dated or slept around, however, it’s been with civilians. It’s always been that way, just because it’s easier to not see them after everything inevitably falls apart. So, you’re not used to being flush against chiseled muscles covered in scar-mapped skin, nor are you used to being fucked with the strength and energy of a shinobi such as Kakashi.

Most importantly, though, you’re not used to someone who loves you fucking you. Pollen aside, this is more like making love than fucking with how Kakashi rushes to press your lips together and kiss you until you feel like you’re drowning on it. He pulls back, just briefly, to nip at your neck with his fangs and suck hickeys into the skin along your shoulder and the side of your neck, before pushing his lips back against yours. It’s so messy and desperate that a dribble of spit drips down the side of both of your mouths, but neither of you care enough to pull back and wipe it away. 

Kakashi shudders and sighs into you when the walls of your hot, wet cunt tighten around his cock. He takes that as encouragement to help you along and keeps pistoning up into you in rhythm with his thumb circling your clit until your ears are ringing and stars light up behind your eyes. Pleasure tears through you.

“I love you,” You moan against his lips as you finish, too relieved by the electric feeling of release that courses through your veins to be embarrassed.

Meanwhile, Kakashi seems to revel in it; your vulnerability, your presence, your body, your overstimulation.

“Sorry, what was that?” Kakashi teases. “I couldn’t quite hear you over all the noise you’re making.”

“I said I love you,” You murmur and rest your forehead against Kakashi’s while holding his face in your hands. “I really do mean that.”

You slump into Kakashi, weakly continuing to grind down onto him so he can finish, too. He moves his hand away from your clit to let you recover to some extent, but keeps thrusting up into you. You reach up to wipe the drool on the corners of your lip that comes from how Kakashi is making your mouth water. You’re overstimulated and you’re not sure if Kakashi’s hardness lingering inside of you is painful or pleasant or both.

“I love you, too,” Kakashi breathes out. “You look like you’re doing better, but I’m not quite done yet. Do you need me to move us?”

“Y-Yeah, I think so,” You nod. Your orgasm knocked the wind out of you and your legs and arms are shaking like crazy with the strain of riding Kakashi’s large cock while strung out on this pollen. You slow to a stop with Kakashi still throbbing inside of you, in need of release. You don’t know if it’s been five minutes or five hours. “Please, take over.”

“On your knees,”Kakashi slides out of you with a slick noise and grabs you by the hips to flip you around. He bends you over and pushes you onto your arms and knees before pushing his length back into you. You cry out at the sudden intrusion and blush at the slow trickle of your wet arousal dripping down your inner thighs. “There you go, you’re taking it so good… Fuck, I’m close…!”

“Then cum so we can leave already,” You grunt. Your head is spinning so fast that you’re barely able to get the words out. At first, you were at least able to muster the strength to stay on your hands and knees. Now, with Kakashi’s hips slamming against your ass at an increasing pace, you can’t keep it up. You drop to your forearms. The pleasure and pain is all so overwhelming with the pollen coursing through your body that your arms give out and have you stuck with your face buried in the bedsheets and your ass held up in the air by Kakashi’s rough grip on your waist. “Seriously, I’m about to cum again, so hurry up and finish before I pass out or something…!”

“Don’t act like you don’t want it, (y/n),” Kakashi growls and reaches up with one hand to thread grab you by the hair and twist your head just enough to make you look back at him. “If I weren’t so desperate for you, I’d make you beg for it.”

You let out a loud, breathy whine, but you don’t dare to argue with him- lest he actually make you beg. That’ll have to wait for next time.

Hopefully, there is a next time.

Kakashi’s thrusts finally start to become more rough and haphazard, signaling to you that he’s getting close. You muster your last bit of energy to throw your hips back against his. Pathetic little cries leave your throat and echo through the night air of the dark, lonely cabin as Kakashi’s fingers and thumb dig into your hips so hard that you’re sure you’re going to have a hand-shaped bruise come morning. 

Kakashi suddenly lets out a loud groan and stills with his cock buried in you as deep as possible. That last thrust mixed with him coating the walls of your cunt with his cum drags you over the edge once more. He pulls his hand from your hair and lets go of your hip so he can put his hands on the bed on either side of you and bend forward to rest his cheek against the middle of your back. 

“Kakashi…” You start, but you’re unsure of what you want to say.

After that- after everything- what could you say?

“(y/n)...” Kakashi whispers and presses a kiss into the skin of your back before pulling out and laying down on the bed.

You flip over as well, lying on your back, just as Kakashi does. The two of you catch your breaths while staring at the ceiling. You turn to your side to face your lover (?), who you rush to touch once more.

“Do you feel any better?” You ask while tracing a finger up and down Kakashi’s bare, sweaty chest.

“Yeah, I think the effects are wearing off. Sorry if I was a little rough with you, I was just… Under the influence of the pollen. Not that it’s any excuse. I’m a little embarrassed now, thinking about the things I said,” Kakashi takes a deep breath, exhales, and turns to check on you. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. We should be good now, I think.”

Weirdly enough, you can’t bring yourself to snap at him like you would’ve just hours ago. You try to stand from the bed so you can get dressed, only to stumble from the strain that was put on your body. Kakashi rushes to catch you by the arm and pull you back down to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Want some help?” He offers, moving to sit next to you on the bed and putting a hand on your shoulder. 

“Um, sure…”

Slowly, Kakashi cleans the two of you up, helps dress you in clean and comfortable clothes from your bag, fixes your hair, puts your forehead protector on over your head, and gets himself dressed and ready to go. He stands and puts both of your bags over one shoulder to carry them. You remain sitting on the bed, simply watching his every move.

“You’re quiet,” Kakashi points out.

“Not much to say after all that,” You mutter. “Except… I do love you back, if you really meant what you said. If it was just the pollen talking, then you can pretend I’m joking and we can go back to hating each other, and-”

“I meant it. I really do love you,” Kakashi interjects. Then, he steps forward and tenderly pushes a stray lock of hair away from your eyes. “I wanted to talk about this more, but we should go dispose of those bodies back at enemy grounds and make sure that there’s not any more of them. The pollen that was released back there should’ve worn off by now.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that entirely…” You sigh and scratch the back of your neck. “Do we have to include what just happened to us on the mission report?”

“I think I’d literally rather die than tell anyone back in Konoha that we fucked because of sex pollen,” Kakashi laughs, shaking his head. “Now, let’s get going before the Hokage starts getting suspicious about why it’s taken us so long…”

With that, the two of you leave the cabin, your head on Kakashi’s shoulder and your hand in Kakashi’s hand.