#found out recently about one of these people. it’s someone I’d been friends with for like 15 years. purposefully blocked me

[seilon]

kinda wild how you can have almost every aspect of your life deeply intertwined with someone else for years and then have all of that thrown in your face when that person decides none of it meant anything and, in fact, was toxic and purge-worthy

[circeyoru]

Darkest Confession = Requested

[Human!Alastor x Serial Killer Enthusiast!Reader]

Everyone have that one thing that really really sets them apart from the group, right? Some can be way too addicted with coffee that they don’t sleep much cause of it, or some can be so obsessed with ducks that they have a whole collection of it (ahem Lucifer ahem anyways…). Either way, usually it’s harmless

No, not you

You were no police officer or detective, or any career related to crime. You were someone simple working from place to place, always moving. Yet you found yourself engrossed with the art of killing. No, you don’t kill yourself. But you love to read about the people that do, specifically, serial killers

To just have the urge to kill and do it then deal with the consequences. It was like the most extreme of goal making. The thing with serial killers is that they mostly pick random people off the streets and kill for whatever reason they have. One can’t link the killings back to the killer because there was none! Oh, how you eat those stories up like a bedtime story

You somewhat study serial killers and their killings, feeling drawn to them enough that you’d move from place to place. It was your drive and your calling. One you keep quite deep down, you’d let this side of you out from time to time, but you had to control it since some might think you deserve the straight jacket or put in a hospital, or just label you as mental

Close friends and your family knew this side of you and said one day you’d be in deep waters for this interest of yours. They had advised you to stop and just push it away, find something else to think. Maybe a romantic partner that you can settle down with?

Hell no! (like Charlie to Val)

You follow serial killer stories from place to place. As sad that it was to know it after the killings were brought to light because of the slow news outlet, you take what you can. You’d mostly maybe catch a glimpse of the killer, behind bars or during trials

There was a few close calls. You recall yourself impersonating a reporter to interview the killer and your interest in them got them to talk, but you had to left before someone caught on you weren’t a reporter. Another time, a writer hired a helper to talk with a killer on trial, you wrote so much notes that the writer wanted you long term

Still no, you left to follow more serial killers when you could

You heard of a serial killer at large. In New Orleans, City in Louisiana. You heard it over the radio from a rising host that took over the hearts of the people, even outside of his hometown. He detailed the killings, even claiming to have seen a few of the bodies alongside the police so he could offer a clearer picture to the listeners of the horrors the killer can do and wasn’t afraid to show off

A serial killer still free and in society. While the other listeners in the cafe shivered and whispers to each other to be cautious or relief that the killer wasn’t in their town or city, you were planning your next travel

Next stop the New Orleans, hunting ground of the Bayou Serial Killer

Settling down was easy since you had been so custom to it. Like always, you wandered a bit, get the feel of the place and its people, the vibe of the city so you can fit in. Then you visited the place where the bodies were found, information provided by the local newspaper and the radio talkshows

You didn’t know then. That someone was following you after a few of your visits to the body dumping grounds. You certainly didn’t know that chance encounter with the radio host was staged

“I’d like coffee, black!” You heard the familiar voice ring. You didn’t have to look up to know the customers and staff members of the cafe all drawn to the man that ordered at the counter. You rolled your eyes. It was the famous radio host, Alastor, he started frequenting this cafe only recently (when you showed up in town) and would take his morning coffee here before he goes live

If only he was a serial killer or someone close to one… You remember the first time seeing him when he entered the cafe. You wanted to approach him, but he was always eyed by the people that put him on a pestasole. You learned to stay clear of people like that because, there were always some fans crazier than the other. Take yourself as an example, with your obsession and addiction to killers

“May I join you, my dear fellow?” Your eyes quickly scanned the place. Why was it so full today? You didn’t say anything and just gestured to the empty seat opposite to you in your booth. Great, now you had to go to work early because you wanted to avoid him. Wait

“Are you writing your script now?” You blinked at the notepad Alastor started to scribble over, you couldn’t just start by asking ‘are you writing your script on the serial killer? Can I see, please?’. Your keen eyes caught the words ‘serial killer’ and ‘bodies’

Alastor chuckled and said he was merely reorganizing his thoughts so he could envision his radio host as smoothly as possible for the listeners. You blink ‘for the listeners’, again with that. But does he really put others first behind himself? Somehow you didn’t think so

Of course his notes got you to put your attention on him. Alastor had to internally grin. He noticed a new face in town after some time. Then he noticed you going to his dumping grounds. He had thought you were a new detective or police to hunt him down by looking over new evidence. He thought he was right when he saw you noting down the surroundings even with the absence of the body

You were followed carefully to check if you had family and/or friends that would make a fuss of your disappearance. When you had none, he thought you were an easy target. But you weren’t a detective nor a police. Imagine his surprise when he only found you returning home. Never once had you went to the police with that notepad of yours

Odd

So he followed some more. It then that he noticed you had a spark in your eyes whenever serial killers or their killings were mentioned. While other would shiver with the sight of fear in their eyes, you had interest and excitement. So odd, but he didn’t dislike it. It fueled his interest in you

He tried striking conversations with you, but you were so plain and common, one he can brush off as a local polite individual. You fitted in with the commonality that quickly and easily. Though his concern was your disinterest and ignorance to him, he once let his assistant to play a pre-recorded show to see your reactions to his killings reported

There it was. You and that spark of yours with that notepad and pen, writing so furiously like you were possessed. You were more expressive and childish even, swaying from side to side, tapping your feet, drumming your fingers. It was like he witnessed your true self. He confirmed it when the topic changed and like a switch, you were that mundane self of yours

It was all so fasincinating to him and he had to talk to the real you. So he staged this meeting. He was right on the money, you would start off with someone common, then poke at your interest, wanting him to start the topic so you’d be involved. Slowly and with time though, you’d just talk outright with him

It was routine for him, meeting you before his show at that cafe and in their secluded booth you basically marked your own when it was in the morning. He’s review his notes with you and then talk about the (his) killings with you, the newest discoveries, the clues that detectives and polices missed, all that juicy details you’d like

Another problem came. You saw him as a friend. He saw you as a romantic interest

To you, it was rare that you could connect this much with someone. No one back home, not even your closest family members and frends, would indulge with you in this interest of yours. No matter how much you spoke your thoughts on serial killers and their killings, Alastor didn’t push you away and even ask questions on your thoughts. You cared so much for him, as a friend, but he wasn’t your interest

To him, you were now one of his reason to kill more. That bloodlust was on par with the spark you’d have in your eyes when he struck again. Some poor victim died and you only focused on him, the killer! He once compared you to his friend Mimzy, she knew and helped his killings, but she didn’t give him the same joy and bubbly emotions he’d have when talking to you about his kills. It wasn’t the same. So were you the one? The one to his cold dark heart.

And he confessed. More than just his feelings

“My dearest darling, I would be so honoured if you’d agree to allow me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to officially court you.”

“No.” There was no hesitation in your voice, nor was there a pause. “Sorry, Alastor, I just considered myself married to serial killers. Or at least, this one in your town. I love them no matter what. So I can’t accept your feelings. But I hope we can continue being fr—”

Alastor held onto you, it was just a stroke of luck that this place was the secluded forest he was familiar with. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed your knuckles, his eyes staring straight at you with that crazed look in his eyes and that murderous grin he only let his victims see, “Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Alastor, the Bayou Serial Killer.”

Note: I had SO MUCH FUN writing for this. Thank you for suggesting this, Any~ (I’ll just call all the anonymous asks this from now on). I would tag the person but this is anonymous request (╯︿╰)

Requests are open, but keep in mind of what I wrote in the Masterlist. I’ll ultimately decide whether or not to write for them. Thanks!

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[writerscall]

i don’t have any specifics but i’d love to see you do a jealous hazel :>

author’s note/s: 873 words. this embarrassingly took me a while to finish but in my defense, i’ve been in a real slump for writing. but this definitely got the momentum back a bit! enjoy hazel not exactly enjoying when someone thinks you’re pretty the same way she thinks you’re pretty.

In spite of the collective fear that the fight club might disband after the game, either by school orders or with all of you growing apart with more and more schoolmates wanting to be friends, it stayed intact. Surprisingly no new recruits, but that was probably why the bond of the club was stronger than ever. You were all there from day one and you all knew everyone still wanted to be there, even if getting punched in the jaw or kicked in the shin still hurt like a bitch.

It meant continuing to have Hazel as an everyday fixture in your life, though, and you weren’t going to complain about that. Or about any of the new friendships you’ve created, of course — especially Stella-Rebecca, whose realization and acceptance that she’s actually a lesbian was a very entertaining sight to see.

“I feel no different, but I also feel like I should be doing something to be more out, you know?” She asks you one day as you’re washing your faces in the locker room after practice. “Like, maybe not go around wearing a t-shirt that says ‘lesbian,’ or ‘i love girls’ or something, but like… should I go shop for a cute flannel later?”

There’s a chorus of no, don’t do that among the burst of laughter, and you hope the look you’re giving her looks more sympathetic than amused. “Lesbians come in all kinds of outfits, Stella-Rebecca. Don’t worry about it.”

“Or, you know, in no outfit at all, I won’t mind,” PJ quips with a shit-eating grin. Josie audibly groans and promptly drags her out of the locker room.

“A top that says ‘i love girls’ would be pretty cute, though. I’d wear one,” you tell her. Hazel comes into view at that same moment, smiling at you knowingly through the reflection in the mirror. Your heart flutters as you smile back. It was no secret that you and Hazel have been participating in a will-they-won’t-they dance for a while now. Everyone — or at least everyone in the fight club — knew about it.

Which was why you found Stella-Rebecca’s next words so surprising.

“Maybe we can go look for one together. I think you’d look real cute in one, too.” She winks at you as she squeezes your shoulder, then says her goodbyes as she sashays away. Huh. You can’t help but smile to yourself in amusement, though it’s immediately wiped off when you notice Hazel staring (rather, glaring) after Stella-Rebecca’s retreating figure.

You turn away from the mirror, saying, “Oh, come on, don’t be like that.”

“You know she’s flirting with you, right?” Hazel grumbles. “While I’m right here. Literally just right here, and then she still goes and does all that. She knows!”

“It’s not… she probably didn’t even mean it like that. Stella-Rebecca’s just very touchy and sweet—”

“I think I’m sweet to my friends too but I don’t go after people who are obviously accounted for.”

Okay, this was serious to her. Not that you had any intention of shrugging it off and letting Stella-Rebecca continue to flirt with you, if she would; you just didn’t think Hazel would take it so personally. She’s known the girl longer than you have and has definitely seen her flirt with other people before to know the difference between her being playful and actually being into it.

Then again, until recently, Stella-Rebecca was only coming on to boys.

You walk towards her, fighting the growing smile on your face as you take her own in your hands. “Your pout is really cute but there’s no need for it. I could go out with Stella-Rebecca after school every day of this week, even spend the whole weekend with her, and I’d still be ‘accounted for.’” Your nose wrinkles a bit at the last part. Hazel could either say the most random things or be strangely articulate.

She sighs, head tilting to the right in your hold. “Am I a horrible person for not liking the idea of you spending so much time with each other? I know you’re friends, we all are, but… I don’t know…”

“No,” you breathe out, rubbing your right thumb across her slightly smushed cheek. “It’s a hypothetical situation, anyway. The most she’ll get of me is one day because we’ve got a bunch of after school dates lined up, remember? We’ve got all those Lego plants to build.”

“The new additions to my botanical collection,” Hazel says, her mood noticeably picking back up. You give her face a gentle squeeze before wrapping your arms around her shoulders instead. Her arms wrap around your waist not a second later. “Yeah, the succulents came in yesterday. I think you’ll really like them.”

You smile at her. “You know I will.”

The feeling of her relaxing in your arms makes you relax too, although she’s still got that look on her face. Well, a different one now; like she was battling between saying something or shoving it down.

“What—”

“You and Stella-Rebecca can get matching ‘i like girls’ shirts, but only if we get matching ‘girlfriends’ ones.”

Oh. Not in a bad way, but still… oh.

There’s a part of you that’s thinking, already? but you’re a little too giddy about her clarifying what she wants — and it being exactly what you want too — to do anything but nod and beam at her. “Whatever you want, Hazel.”

[i-care-4u]

TALK TO ME | PEDRI

PAIR: PEDRI X FEMALE!READER

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST

you were invited to pablo’s party alongside his barcelona teammates and a few others. as you entered, you were immediately greeted by pablo and his sister, aurora.

at this point, you and the gaviras were like family. ever since meeting them because of your guardian’s interactions with their mother, you and the siblings got closer as the ages pass by. although things have changed because of career choices, one thing you can agree on was that barcelona is the move. you love barcelona as much as they do.

“hey guys!” you waved at the gavira siblings and they exchanged a smile towards before coming up to you.

starting with the left cheek, aurora exchanged kisses with you, “you finally made it!”

“i did!” you posed.

pablo joined, “thanks for coming in tonight. feel free to serve yourself some food, and drinks will be right in the fridge.”

you nod to pablo, messing up his hair, “thank you pablito!”

-

after greeting everyone inside the party, you decided to sit down and listen to the recent gossip. you were accompanied by pablo’s friend group.

as people slowly got off the couch, you saw that as your cue to leave somewhere else. however, fermín desperately asked you to stay.

“where are you going?” fermín asked you, “you’re going to miss the best part of the story!”

“i’m going to grab a drink and go outside.” you said as you start making your way into the kitchen. you opened the refrigerator and grabbed one of the drinks. afterwards, you closed the door and made your way into the backyard.

the backyard view looked very beautiful at night. however, there was no one there, or at least you thought so. walking towards the pool, appeared a guy sitting on one of the chairs.

“is someone sitting there?” you knew the answer is no, no one is sitting there, but you used that question as a way to start a conversation with the guy.

“no, you can sit there if you want.”

as you sat down, you started to examine the guy’s face. you were already familiar with his face, although you were unsure if that was his name.

“you must be…”

“pedri, no need to pretend.”

you raised your hands, giving him a sarcastic dirty look, “wow, okay. i was just making sure i was looking at the right person.”

“and you must be y/n. gavi tells me about you.”

“oh, he’s so sweet. you should be lucky to have someone like him.”

“and i am.”

for a brief moment, silence fell between you, with the peaceful sounds of the night wrapping about you like a comfortable blanket. the cold breeze rustled through the leaves, instilling a sense of serenity in your bones. pedri interrupted the pause, his voice soft but full of inquiry. "so, how long have you been friends with pablo and aurora?"

you chuckled quietly, remembering your closeness with the gavira siblings. "we have a long history together. our families have been close for years, and we almost grew up together. it's like they're my second family." pedri nodded in agreement, his face thoughtful. "that is nice. family is vital." you couldn't help but agree, a warm emotion flooding your chest as you remembered your relationship with the gaviras. "oh, definitely. they've always been there for me, through thick and thin."

as the night proceeded, you found yourself deep in discussion with pedri, the words flowing effortlessly as if you had known each other for years. his presence gave you a sense of calm and ease, allowing you to forget about everything else. you were lost in the moment, telling stories, laughing, and even pausing to contemplate quietly. it felt as if time had stopped and the world had shrunk to just the two of you in the black of night.

“so you’re telling me that you never wanted to approach me?” you asked pedri, being in disbelief.

pedri shrugged, “seeing you and the group of girls, i’d say out of everyone, you were the most intimidating.”

“gavi tells me all about you,” you repeated the words pedri said earlier. “don’t tell me he influenced you.”

“he didn’t…clearly you were just out of my league.”

“out of my league as in?”

“one that is getting the people in telling me that i pulled the impossible. one that i can show off to everyone. one that got me looking like the average person when standing next to you, a supermodel-like appearance.”

as the hours went, you developed a peculiar fascination to pedri. there was a magnetic draw between you, a connection that appeared to transcend words and actions. and when you looked into pedri's eyes, you noticed something flicker beneath the surface: a spark of something unsaid, something that mirrored the feelings running through your heart.

"may i?" pedri asked you. you drew in closer, absorbed in the moment's intensity, the distance between you narrowing with each passing second. and when your lips came together in a deep, delicate kiss, the world around you seemed to drift away, leaving only the warmth of pedri's touch and the hammering of your pulse.

lost in the heat of desire, you felt pedri's fingertips trace patterns across your flesh, sending chills down your spine. his touch was electric, setting off a fire of desire that grew stronger with each passing instant.

the need for air eventually separated you, leaving you both breathless and overwhelmed with want. but, even as you gathered your breath, the desire in pedri's eyes indicated that this was far from over. without saying anything, you both rose from your chairs, hands interlaced as you headed towards the house, the anticipation of what lay ahead hanging heavily in the air between you. however, as you approached the door upstairs, a voice shrieked from behind you, stopping you both in your tracks.

"since when were you two a thing?" fermín's voice burst forth, full of wonder. you turned to face him, hot cheeks and beating heart, wondering how to react to his unexpected interruption. but as you met pedri's eyes, you shared a wordless understanding, a mutual acceptance of the emotion that had developed between you.

"we'll talk later," pedri muttered softly, kissing your lips before turning to face fermín, whose expression was unreadable. and as you entered that room together, the anticipation of what was to come hung heavily in the air, a tempting reminder of your love for one another.

[deepestnightcolor]

If you don’t mind me asking, I love your writing and I’d love to see a Sam x quiet/awkward farmer who’s *really* bad at talking to people but he just automatically accepts them. Maybe mutual pining and anything else you’d like!! 🙈💕

☾ ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇꜱ ☽

ᴀ/ɴ: Hello!!~ Thank you so, so much for your request. I certainly had fun writing it. I hope this is what you wanted! ^^ Thanks again for your time and request, I hope you enjoy~

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x GN!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 2271 words

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: No warnings, just fluff.

Slowly, the pen slipped from your fingers, your eyes wandering over the pages you had just written down your thoughts on. Your journal; a loyal companion. Sometimes, it felt like your best friend, so safe and secure.  It was the only time when you were able to articulate your thoughts and ideas without worrying about the words you chose, without fearing a stutter surfacing. You didn’t have to wonder if you sounded stupid, or your tongue twisting, disarranging your words. Your journal allowed you to share, without judgement, without the twisting in your stomach you often had when talking to people that weren’t part of your closest circle. Without feeling like you needed to run as fast and as far as possible. However, if someone casted a glance over the most recent pages, they would have found that you wanted quite the opposite. That there was a new person you wanted to talk to. That there was a person you wanted to get to know, that you wanted to share with. That there was a person that had caught your interest, and whose attention you wanted. Desperately so, even.

That’s why you took in a deep breath, carefully picking up the cactus fruit that had been sitting on your desk as if to remind you of what you had promised yourself, and you would be damned if you didn’t do it. At least that was what you had thought, up until you saw him. Sam was sitting on the bridge near the museum, picking up small rocks and tossing them in the river idly flowing by. Your heart fluttered in your chest when you heard him chuckle at an especially loud plop. His laugh was cute, you found. It started as a grumble in his chest and then brightened up like the sky after a thunderstorm. In all honesty, though, you found pretty much everything about Sam cute in a way. The blue-green of his eyes that reminded you of a cool lake on a hot summer day, the mess of hair that in all actuality was carefully styled every morning; the small freckles that had darkened over the summer season.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you hadn’t quite realized that you had started to wander towards Sam until he called out for you. “Hey, farmer! Comin’ to spend time with me?” His eyes were sparkling softly, and the smile on his lip was one of such warmth and genuineness that it made your head spin. The words you had oh so carefully sorted out and mulled about were seemingly picked up by their roots, put in a small container, and violently shaken around, just to be lost somewhere in your head, your tongue twisting into several knots all by itself.

You felt your hands getting clammy around the fruit they were holding, your cheeks heating up as an uncomfortable feeling travelled down your spine. You must have looked like an idiot; you sure felt like one. But if you did, Sam didn’t seem to care – quite the opposite. He seemed excited that you were here, inviting, even.   You opened your mouth to tell him something, to at least try to find some words to start a conversation, but it appeared that your tongue took your mouth opening as a sign to twist even more. Panic arose in you, even though the blond’s smile had such a soothing energy that it almost lured you out of your shyness. Almost. Instead of answering him, or even speaking in general, you thrust the cactus fruit in Sam’s lap, turned on your heel, and ran off.

Sam’s head tilted to the side as he watched you run off, eyes slowly falling onto the fruit on his lap. He had been genuinely excited to spend some time with you; the farmer who seemed to ghost around town, the farmer that seemed to never speak; the farmer who was so adorable and cute and sweet that it made his heart swell. The farmer that he had been trying to coax out of their shell but had never succeeded. Or at least that was what he had thought until now. One day he had met you at the beach and, as it was his nature, struck up a conversation with you. Well, in reality, it had been a monologue. You had been digging your feet around the sand and were fiddling with a seashell while he had been talking about pretty much everything that popped into his head. At some point, he had mentioned how much he loved cactus fruits and how he would love to have one again one day. And now it was on his lap, which meant…You hadn’t been uninterested. You had actually been listening. And you cared.  

You also remembered that day at the beach fondly. You had been intrigued by Sam’s ability to talk, by not having to think about his words fifteen times like you did. He made you feel a little easier, even though your body language didn’t show that once. Yet Sam’s attitude towards you didn’t change, he kept up the friendly tone in his voice, the warm smile in your direction. Plus, you were thankful. Thankful that someone other than Robin or Mayor Lewis talked to you; that someone else started a conversation. It had meant something to you, something so sincere that you held it dear.

Really, it wasn’t like you didn’t want social interaction. It just didn’t come naturally to you, and people often didn’t have enough patience to allow you to warm up to them. Sam, however, seemed like he had.

Really, it wasn’t like you didn’t want social interaction. It just didn’t come naturally to you, and people often didn’t have enough patience to allow you to warm up to them. Sam, however, seemed like he did. That was the reason you tried to show him that you were interested. That you did want to get to know him. Yet since you were lacking words, actions needed to suffice.  

The next time you found Sam he was at the beach again, the hot summer sun having reddened his cheeks – or perhaps it was the exhaustion from running after Vincent, who just didn’t seem to be affected by the heat at all. You looked at the blue, cooled-down can in your hand, a smile on your face. You had the feeling your gift would come over well.

Sam had just plopped down on the hot sand, stretching out his aching legs when a shadow suddenly casted over him. His eyes snapped up, and the smile that followed could have definitely been able to compete with the sun. “Hey. Lookin’ very cute today. The sun ain’t gettin’ to you?” An attempt to charm you, a weak one – he didn’t want to scare you away, after all, such a delicate thing like you -, but an attempt, nonetheless. It bared results with you that the sun hadn’t achieved. Your cheeks heated up, some of the redness spreading down to your throat and wrapping around your neck like a warm hand. You gave Sam the only thing you could muster; a smile. You handed the cold can to him, and before there was even a chance to open up the conversation, you were stalking back toward town. “Thanks!” Sam called after you, the smile on his lips still there, only dying down when he realized you wouldn’t come back.

That’s how your game went; you would find Sam and hand him a gift. The blond would smile and thank you, but before he could start talking more, you were gone. Some days you felt more confident than usual, some days you had your words ready again. But his smile? That stunning, pretty, sunshine and moonlight smile? It always made these words tumble down your throat, blocking any sort of noise from ever escaping again. That was the point when you just smiled back at him and vanished, making a beeline for the way you had just come from.

From the outside, it seemed like you kept your cool about this. But your journal held the truth; that you just didn’t know how to talk to him. That you just didn’t know how to overcome this. Whenever when you were close to him, seeing that radiant look on his face, smelling that scent of vanilla and cola, feeling these feelings everything around you seemed to crumble. Everything within you crumbled. The confidence, the intent to really make it happen, to actually talk to him today.  

The only thing that kept you trying was the fact that Sam didn’t appear to lose his patience with you, quite the opposite. He became more open with you, telling you that you looked good, that your smile was pretty today. He tried to talk more to you, telling you that you looked good, that your smile was pretty today, that the crops that came from your farm were delicious – he talked as much as he could before you would plant whatever gift you had brought him in his lap and then wandering off.

And really – Sam did try his best, after all, you were worth it to him. You seemed like a genuinely good person, with eyes so pretty that he got lost in them every time he had been able to catch them. You caring enough about him to find him every day and give him his gifts made him want to try harder, help you feel comfortable enough around him to speak to him.  Sam had simply never been in a situation where someone didn’t talk to him. Usually, he talked long enough and with such an energy that he lulled most people into a conversation, but not with you. Which meant he would need to try a different route.

He had heard you coming before he could have seen you. The smile was already lingering on his lips as he turned to you. You held a cactus fruit in his hand, a look of surprise fleeting over your face. Had he been waiting for you? “Hey. Had a good day today?”  He asked, now turning around completely so he could face you more easily. You gave him a sheepish smile and tried to hand him the cactus fruit, but instead of just taking it, Sam dropped something small in your hand. “Thank you,” he grinned, giving you a wink.

You swallowed thickly, your fist clenching around the object he had given you as you headed back to your farm.

You were panting when you had reached your front porch, but that didn’t mean that your curiosity didn’t get the better of you. Slowly opening your fingers, you saw a rectangle of white. Upon closer inspection, you found that it was a folded piece of paper. Your fingers were trembling as you tried to unwrap it. Was he going to tell you to leave you alone? Had he realized you were weird and wanted you to stay away from him?

The sloppy handwriting that greeted you would have made you chuckle if it hadn’t been for the anxiety cursing through you. But the words were…soothing. Warm- like his smile. “Hey, I realized you don’t like to talk much. So maybe I thought you would like to trade notes while I take you on a date to the beach? I will be there tomorrow at 6.”

Your heart swelled in your chest – maybe there really was someone that would understand you, other than your journal. Someone was willing to give you a chance like this.

The blond of his hair appeared to be of golden colour as the setting sun caught it in its soft embrace. Sam was sitting on a blanket he had spread out in the sand, his face stretched towards the warmth he could still find in the sky, only turning his head when he heard you approach. As you got closer, you could see that Sam had been true to his word; different coloured pieces of paper were sitting on the blanket next to him; he had even brought a pencil case of markers. He gave you a smile and a gentle wave as you sat down next to him.

For a moment, you weren’t sure what to do. Was this a joke? Maybe he would just make fun of you? What if he grew tired of it quickly? A note, folded like an airplane, landed on your lap. The author carried a grin of pride, giving you two thumbs up.

 “So, does a farmer have hobbies? Or are you too busy for them?” A smile folded on your lips, fingers wrapping around a pen, ready to do what you knew you could do; without the twist of tongue, without a stutter, without having to worry your words would get lost on the way.

The stack of paper had become considerably small as you were sitting in silence. The sun had set, and the pale light of the moon illuminating the beach made it hard to write. But it felt comfortable to just sit next to Sam and…exist. Sam had asked you about yourself, and whenever he had read your replies, he had looked at you and nodded, just to go back to reading. His tongue had been sticking out when he wrote, and his eyes had always been gauging your reaction when you read his replies; drinking up each smile, each snort, each giggle, each reaction. But right now, he was content with just being next to you, and not hearing you run away from him.

What he didn’t expect was a small voice next to him, unsure, and yet firm. “Thank you, Sam.”

[saffyspirals]

EYYY!! I recently found you in this app and I just gonna say your content is pretty great! Is it okay if I put on a request? Like what would the blue lock characters call their S/o? ;) any characters is fine to me but I hope Nagi and Kurona will be included hehe- Good work btw!

❥ fandom: blue lock

❥ includes: nagi, kaiser, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, shidou, kurona, hiori & reo

❥ notes: hi!! i really loved writing this request, so thanks for sending it in! i thought really hard about what kurona would call his s/o (literally took days), and fell in love w/ his character in the process :)

❥ warning(s): hmm…kurona might be ooc IDK but i like this kurona!

you are nagi’s little angel. he low-key started calling you that as a joke (he used to find couple nicknames a little cringe), but eventually, he grows to love your reactions to the name. you smile at him, a lot, and it gets him out of trouble 90% of the time. “come back to bed, angel… ‘m asking nicely, aren’t i?”

kaiser switches it up like no man’s business. he’d been calling you by different pet names since before you got together so, you’re pretty used to it. i’d say he rotates between babe/baby, love and princess. honey bunches and names of a similar strange nature are saved for when he feels like teasing you. mein kaiserin (my empress in his native tongue) is only used on special, romantic occasions. like, when he tells you he loves you for the first time. or when he’s trying to get his family to understand just how serious he is about you. <3

bachira switches between love and sugar. sugar-plum when he wants to embarrass you. bachira is definitely one to tell you that he loves you quite a lot, he just doesn’t want you to forget, i suppose! giving you ‘love’ as a nickname is a way of reminding you of the fact rather than declaring how he feels 24/7. sugar is just another name he likes. it sounds good coming from him, and you usually get a kiss after he uses it, which is of course a bonus. “eh? you’re asking me how i think you look today? you look perfect, sugar! always do.”

chigiri refers to you as his darling. the nickname is beautiful, and elegant, just like he is. it’s easy to get flustered, having him call you that. chigiri likes the fact that he’s able to bring about such an adorable reaction.

kunigami doesn’t call you by this nickname often. actually, he uses your first name most of the time, mostly out of habit (i’m thinking friends-since-forever turned lovers), partly because he feels a little embarrassed giving you a nickname and using it in front of others. BUT ANYWAY, kunigami refers to you as pretty. he’d first called you it by accident, but since you seemed elated by it, decided he’d continue to use it on occasion. “tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, pretty.”

SHIDOU CALLS YOU SWEET GIRL. (🫠🫶) + similar variations like, sweetie or sweetheart, or sweet cheeks. snookums is reserved for when he’s about to tell you he’s done something that will probably annoy you. reason for the nickname? well, you’re sweet! you’ve got a good heart, and won’t swing for people if they say/do anything you don’t like. “are you gonna kiss me goodbye, sweet cheeks? or am i gonna have to chase ya?”

kurona primarily calls you pudding. his reason for it? “i like pudding, and i like you.” i feel like he’s kind of a private person, and only opens up when he feels totally comfortable with someone so, it’s only used when it’s just the two of you around. HOWEVER. private as he is, i think kurona’s got this other side to him. he likes to tease you, just a little. say for example, you’re giving him the silent treatment. he’ll still try and talk to you, but will eventually get tired of not getting any attention. and then, “hey, y/n? can you pass me some napkins?” “…” “…ah, right. you love being called pookie bear, don’t you. POOKIE BEAR, WILL YOU PASS ME SOME NAPKINS?” he’ll pull this kind of stunt in front of your mutual friends when you’re having breakfast together (or something of a similar scenario!). it’s embarrassing, but it gets you to talk at least. he likes having you address him, even if it’s to tell him to, “stop embarrassing me, idiot!”

hiori calls you pumpkin. a little on the cheesy side, but i think it suits him! he isn't embarrassed about referring to you by the name in public either. it shows anyone who might be questioning your relationship that you're definitely together. if it embarrasses you, he'll do his best to tone it down. no promises that he'll never say it though, hiori simply can't help it!

reo rotates between a lot of sweet sounding nicknames. precious, my love, honey. i don't think he does this on purpose, but reo loves using 'my' before a lot of nicknames too. it's just an unconscious reminder that you're all his, and honestly, he's all yours. reo would be all in for any relationship he pursues, and nicknames come with the territory. bonus: he'd be absolutely over the moon if you gave him a cute nickname too. sure, he'd be a little embarrassed if his friends teased him about it, but his heart would swell with pride. being known as the 'sickening, lovey-dovey' couple isn't a bad thing, you know!! "My love, remind me what you wanted me to get you at the store later?"

[hyunsusgf]

those eyes. (part 2)

part 1

synopsis … after pining after the man for so long, cha hyun-su is officially your boyfriend.

pairing … cha hyun-su x gn!reader ༝༚༝༚ featuring bsf!eun-yu once again

warnings … none really per usual

lovely notes … (not) long awaited part 2!! finally yip yip

꩜ [ 1.1k words ]

“in love.”

what the actual fuck. your best friend that you’re like, in love with just confessed that he was in love with you. this has to be a dream, something so unreal because how could cha hyun-su, your hyun-su reciprocate your romantic feelings?

you didn’t respond because you were unable to form words. how were you supposed to respond to this man confessing his love for you? say you love him back. which wasn’t a lie but were you ready to say something as earnest as that?

“wait, i didn’t mean that; i did but if you don’t feel the same then please pretend i didn’t say it. i don’t wanna ruin our friendship, you know you’ve been one of my close friends for the longest and i’d ha-“ he started with the word vomit, basically unable to stop himself.

“hyun-su.” you tried to interrupt him.

“-te to ruin what we have. not relationship-wise, but you know like ruin our friendship. i really do value it. i’m sorry if i made things-“ he continued.

“cha hyun-su.” you tried to interrupt him for a second time.

“between us awkward. i don’t want us to not be friends so i’m really sorry if this does ruin..”

“hyun-su. i-“ you let out a shaky breath before continuing, finally catching his attention. “i love you so so much hyun-su… i can’t pretend that i don’t anymore. you need to know that i’ve grown to care for you deeply, since the first time i laid eyes on you. i was just so unaware of how i truly until recently. it feels as if i was put in this universe simply to love you, and to care for you. because you are my everything hyun-su and i’d rather die than imagine living in a world without you. even in this fucked up world, i’d hate to live in it without. i love you hyun-su, so much.”

your confession left both you and hyun-su speechless. you didn’t know that you couldn’t put your feelings into words like how you did, but you were able to do it. you were finally able to tell your best friend how you felt about him. meanwhile, he was left speechless because he didn’t know that this entire time when he felt as if his existence centered around you, you felt the same.

you cared for him, you’ve been in love with him ever since you first met him, and you can’t imagine living in a world without him. above all, you’ve harbored the same feelings that he has all this time.

“i didn’t know you felt the same way.”

“well, you know now so…”

“does this make you my girlfriend now?” hyun-su asked a bit bashfully.

“obviously. but only if this makes you my boyfriend.”

after your statement, the two of you stood there practically basking in the other's presence. everything felt better now that not only were both of your feelings, but you’re officially dating.

it felt good to have someone to call your partner in the monster outbreak you found yourself in the midst of. not only was he your partner, but he was your best friend. he was the person you always confided in, spent time with, and one of the few people whose presence didn’t exasperate you to no end.

“so, where are we off to now, boyfriend?” you asked him, all smiley and giggling at the fact that he was really yours.

“wherever you decide to take us, girlfriend.” he replied, giving the same excited energy that you gave off.

as you and hyun-su walked hand in hand through the corridors, you both were unaware of eun-yu watching you with a smile.

she assumed her matchmaking skills had worked this entire time. she’s spent so long trying to get the both of you together, but she guessed her recent conversation with you finally made you come to your senses and confess (not knowing that hyun-su was the one who did it first.)

she was so tired of seeing the both of you sneak glances at the other while they weren’t looking, or listening to you make little comments about hyun-su that sounded a little too intimate to be meant in a friendly way.

for example, the one time you described him as “so boyfriend”, whatever that was supposed to mean. but who refers to their friend using their boyfriend? someone who wants to be with said friend of course.

so, eun-yu did what had to be done and set her two friends up, but it was mainly because she couldn’t bear to see both of you pining after the other.

she should honestly be given the friend of the year award with how many times she’s been helping you. she has seen you in both your best and worst moments, and she’s stayed through all of it. she doesn’t regret it though, she’d help you all over again if she had to.

you and hyun-su walked hand in hand to the staircase he always found himself on. as you made it there, you both just sat there in a comfortable silence, as the two of you often found yourself in.

with this outbreak, you never imagined yourself being in a relationship, and definitely not with the boy you’ve had a crush on for like, forever.

the serendipity of your situation felt just right. hyun-su being one of the only good things in such a fucked up situation felt just right for you.

“i never thought i’d, like, find myself here, you know?”

“find yourself where?” hyun-su questioned you.

“like alive in the apartments, and with you.” you said somewhat timidly.

it felt a little odd being so vulnerable with him so quickly. but, that was just the kind of comfortable you both were with each other. the kind of comfortable where you could confess any and everything without the feeling of the other shaming you.

“i know. sometimes it feelings like everything happens so fast, doesn’t it?”

“yeah. you get it.”

it always felt like this talking to him. like he always understood you and what you were saying every time you talked. you always joked that you understood him on a spiritual level, but at some point, you started to actually mean it. you felt like you both understood each other like no one else could.

you were happy, for the time being at least. the apartment was doing okay at least, you had your best friend eun-yu, and now you had your newly titled boyfriend, cha hyun-su by your side.

[bigskydreaming]

Y’know, I’ve posted before about how important it can be to survivors to be in charge of determining when they disclose what happened to them and to whom in what ways…..and thus how the trend of Dick’s ‘secret’ (what happened with Tarantula or Mirage or both) being found out by his family or friends despite his wishes or even his active efforts to keep it secret, and he’s forced to confront it and deal with all of them knowing before he’s ready and made any kind of peace with it himself, and this is often framed as being what’s best for him and its better now that everything’s out in the open and its like….no, that’s not how it works, you can’t FORCE people to recover on YOUR time table, and it happening in a way that gives them no agency or control over it is often a SETBACK instead of like….to their benefit, because while at its heart, disclosure is a relatively simple action, it can be hugely empowering to survivors because its the first time they’re able to definitively take what happened to them and DECIDE what happens next, to take back some of the CONTROL that was ripped away from them by the event and sent their life into a tailspin ever since…..

Ahem. Anyway. Like I said, y’know how I’ve posted before about….all of…well, that?

LOL.

Yeah, so anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about an ideal ‘counter-trend’ that I think could add so much to the view of these parts of Dick’s narrative and character and to discussions about them….and it also IMO is one of the most likely and in character ways that Dick WOULD be likely to disclose what happened to him and make it known to family or friends…..WHILE letting him retain full personal agency over making that choice HIMSELF, for his OWN reasons….

And that’s like…..letting them all find out because Dick makes the personal decision to open up about that to a survivor or recent victim he sees struggling in the aftermath of their own assault. 

Exposing his own vulnerabiltiies and hurt in order to HELP someone, to make something from his own pain, which is one of the key ways IMO that Dick tends to his own trauma and recovery…..using what happened to him as an opportunity to better help others, be there for them, connect with them and give them an easier time of it or more tools to help in their own recovery than he’d had himself. When he’s able to say and do the things a victim really needs to hear right then and there, because he’s been there himself and he’s just saying or doing what he wishes someone had said or done for him but hadn’t known at the time he needed or wanted or even had someone available to ask even if he were able to.

I’d love to read about a Dick Grayson who finds the strength and will to open up about his own secrets and traumas even if it means people close to him finding out and maybe pitying him (which he hates and I think is one of the primary reasons he doesn’t tell people when something bad happens to him oif he can help it) - specifically because its the strength someone needs from him in that moment, and Dick’s personal call to heroism is the need, the drive, to be what someone needs in order to save them if its at all within his capabilities. That’s why he’s a hero IMO: he doesn’t know how to NOT intervene in a situation where he knows his unique talents and skills could help protect or defend someone, save them from pain or loss or dying. He doesn’t WANT to know how.

Gimme a Dick Grayson who swallows down his fears, straightens his shoulders and defiantly tells his primal reptile brain “Fuck his secrets” - he couldn’t save this person from having this thing happen to them, but he can still be a kind of hero to them, for them, by CONNECTING with them, revealing that even he, a bonafide SUPERHERO, can and has been hurt that way, and it sucks and its painful and it wakes him up sometimes in the middle of the night, but he’s still here, he’s still the person HE chooses to be, someone who still laughs and cries and has friends and goals and dreams and bad days but good days as well….show me him being their own personal superhero by cutting straight through the shit their own demons try to convince them of - that this is their fault or they deserved this or it wouldn’t have happened if they were stronger, smarter, BETTER - because when freaking Nightwing, son of the Batman and leader of the Titans and someone superheroes the world over speak of in glowing terms….

When THAT guy looks you straight in the eye and tells you none of that is true, that he knows this because it happened to him too, and it had nothing to do with strength or weakness or deserving it or wanting it……its a HELL of a lot easier to believe coming from him. To internalize. To take in and make a mantra in your head that you can summon forth to remind yourself of whenever doubts start to sneak up on you again.

Sorry not sorry, no disrespect to any specific singular fic out there - I've LITERALLY written one myself (even if a big part of why Born Under A Bad Sign has languished so long is because I realized it wasn't really what I was looking for/to explore for a lot of these very reasons, and in hindsight I felt like I had just gotten caught up in the usual trends of fics about this topic instead of writing from a start point of exploring what I most wanted to see or read about as a survivor) so please don't take this as a slight to anyone who's written something like this. I'd be insulting myself too if that were the case.

But as a TREND, I've really grown to dislike that there's no shortage of stories where Dick's most vulnerable moments and secrets are dragged out of him DESPITE being the last thing he wants at that time, when there's a dearth of fics used to explore...when and how might Dick go about sharing these secrets or opening up about these moments because he WANTS to, because HE feels ready to. Or even exploring what happens or what he goes through if he opens up or shares about these things BEFORE he's actually ready to, because in an attempt to repurpose his trauma into something he feels can help another survivor, he ignored what he was actually feeling about whether he was ready or not to be open about this and have it known by more people.

Just....any and all angles where HE makes the choice, and not just because he HAS to, and even if he later regrets it or it brings up stuff he wasn't as prepared to deal with as he'd convinced himself he was in the moment....there's so many more avenues to be explored here, and I feel like without even thinking about it too much, most of these avenues get shut off as possibilities or turned away from because the sheer volume of fics where other people find out about these moments without Dick's direct disclosure or when he doesn't want them to or isn't ready for them to know, like....this particular direction is so everpresent it narrows focus and creates the kind of tunnel-vision effect we're all familiar with when it comes to all sorts of fandom trends, until it subconsciously feels like its THE only direction to take with all this.

Anyway. Just wanted to raise that discussion point and if anyone knows of any fics that ARE out there like this, feel free to send them my way.

[cuubism]

some canon-verse trans Hob for the lovely @five-and-dimes who recently got top surgery! 🥳🥰 congratulations, I'm truly so happy for you, my friend. please accept this humble offering

--

“So, it actually started on a dare,” Hob says, on the day he tells Dream the story of him. Or of this part of him, anyway.

Normally, Hob gets a bit guarded the first time he tells someone he’s trans. It’s hard to predict with absolute certainty how people will react, especially ones he’s just become romantically involved with. He’s had it go poorly, to say the least, in the past.

He doesn’t feel that way with Dream. It’s not because there’s so much trust between them—they’re still new, after all. No, it’s something about Dream himself. For all his prickly and standoffish nature, being close to him feels like sinking into a warm lake, into a dark sleep where secrets and hidden wishes float up like glowing reeds to the surface. Deep, personal feelings feel safe with Dream; he cradles them in his hands and soothes them. Or that’s how it feels, when Hob is touching him.

Personification of dreams, indeed.

“A dare?” Dream echoes.

“Sort of," Hob says. "Got frustrated with people saying women should or shouldn’t do this or that or the other thing, so I decided if they felt so strongly about it I’d just be a man. Moved somewhere no one knew me, dressed differently, got stronger, practiced the sword—and that was that. No one seemed to care much, once you were at war. So long as you could swing a sword and not get yourself killed.”

“A choice, then,” Dream says. He’s listening very intently, hands folded on his knees, untouched tea on the coffee table before him.

“At first. Was only after I’d been living that way for a few decades—before and after we met—that I realized while there might be a handful of women out there living as men for the freedom of it, that they didn’t all like it. Given the choice they’d rather just be women in a more equal world. You know?”

Dream hums in understanding.

“But I didn’t want to go back,” Hob continues. “I felt like... who I'd become was the truth of me all along.”

“Identity, while not wholly immutable, is resilient against adversity and circumstance,” says Dream. “You found what your heart wanted you to be, if in a circuitous manner.”

“You seem very unbothered by it,” Hob observes, sipping his tea.

Dream frowns. “Why would I be bothered by it?”

“Dunno.” Apparently he can’t fully shake that this’ll put a wedge in us feeling. “People sometimes are. Feel deceived, or something like that. So they say.”

“If they are deceived, it is by their own assumptions,” Dream says, with disdain. “You should be as you dream yourself, Hob. No more nor less. Put aside these petty physical trappings.”

“I do actually have to live in these ‘physical trappings’ even if you don’t, you silly thing.” He can’t help laughing. “Besides, I rather like being some kind of living creature in the world, rather than what? A ghost? Best I can do is make this body as close to how it should be as possible.”

Hob’s come to like his body, for the most part, in the form that he’s made it. He didn’t always. But he needs a body of some kind to be alive, and he likes being alive. So what he couldn’t change, he made peace with.

Besides, they have hormone treatments nowadays. Brilliant stuff. Makes it so much better.

“Anyway, now you know. I wanted you to. Since we’re together.” It’s still a marvel. Together.

“Thank you,” says Dream, with evident sincerity. “It is a privilege to be gifted your secrets.”

“Not really a secret, but I get what you mean.” He takes Dream’s hand, just to touch him, and admits, “Telling it to you is like… I don’t know. Feels like when I was younger and first admitted out loud, ‘I’m a man. I want to stay like this.’”

It hasn’t been a proper secret in a very long time. But giving it to Dream is like the freedom of releasing a held breath, even so.

“I am the harbor and cradle of dreams,” Dream says in reply. He traces his fingers over Hob’s. Does Dream’s strange form just spring from the ether? Hob wonders. Or does he have to choose it? The way Hob chose his? “Dreams of being and becoming… these are most precious for they grow from tough soil. I can only protect them, I cannot create them. You must do that. And I expect that were I to find you in the Dreaming, there would be a fantastic garden there, indeed.”

Dream himself is the most fantastical thing. “Well, darling, just know your work is appreciated.”

Dream’s lips tip up in a tiny smile. When he meets Hob’s gaze again, his eyes have gone dark and starry. He folds Hob into a hug, and—

oh, it’s like being hugged by the universe itself.

Hob feels the light breeze of a warm dark night, when he’d lain by the dying fire in a war camp in the French countryside, and looked up at a million stars and first whispered to himself what if this is really who I am? Dream is that breeze and those stars. The dying embers that had lit him as he’d run his hands over his body and felt it differently than he ever had before, and been terrified because what would it mean?—but also thrilled and alive. Dream is the night wrapping around him in that moment, the night that was listening to his dreams no matter how quietly he admitted them, Dream is that and more and the voice in his heart telling him it would be okay.

A younger, more uncertain Hob would have needed this. Hob now is older, and he already knows who he is and what he wants, but he falls into Dream’s embrace all the same. A tear slips from his eye, and Dream kisses his cheek, wiping the tear away with his tongue before leaning their heads together.

“I could craft you any body you wanted in the Dreaming,” he says lowly. “However I think the one you have made with your own hands is more remarkable.”

Oh, God, he’s going to tear up again. “Dream, you are the most beautiful, wonderful thing.”

Dream hums in pleasure at the words, and lets Hob hold him close, lets him cradle his head to his chest, a dream kept close to his heart. One that he knew as soon as he saw it walk into the White Horse. Sooner even than he truly knew himself.

Then Dream looks up at him with a hopeful expression. “With these truths revealed, are we able to be intimate?”

Hob laughs so hard he has to tip his head back against the couch. “Wow. One track mind with you, isn’t it? I spill my heart and that’s what I get?”

Dream grumbles, tucking his face in against Hob’s neck to press his lips to Hob’s throat. “I find myself impatient of late.”

“Knew all along you were only with me for my body.” He’s grinning, though. Can’t stop.

“Well. Considering it is such a lovely one.” He plucks at Hob’s shirt buttons. Lecherous little nightmare.

It feels fucking good, though, to be desired.

“C’mere, then,” he says, and drags Dream into his lap.

Dream settles there with a purr, starts playing with Hob’s hair, but says, “I would not truly derail this moment, nor distract from your feelings if you do not wish it.”

“Oh, I wish it. You’ve no idea how much I want you right now. You’re like a prize.” He cradles Dream’s beloved face between his hands. “Stick around for long enough and you’ll get the most incredible Dream at the end of it.”

“Or at the beginning,” Dream says, and Hob’s heart swells so much to hear him voice that that he has to kiss him.

When he does, Dream makes a low, pleased sound, settling deeper in his lap. Yes, this moment, this life, is certainly the prize for all of those years hanging onto those dreams:

the dream of his lover

and the one of himself.

[paisleypens]

too cool pt. 2 | spencer agnew x f!reader

the hair i’m crying.

thank you for the love on the last one!! here’s part 1

i was so busy recently but i love this story so let me know what you think! new part soon trust

~~~

In the days that followed their impromptu trip to the park, Spencer panicked over his feelings for Y/N. He hadn’t felt this close to anyone in a non platonic way in a while. After endless hours of thinking about her and their excursion, Spencer realized something haunting. No way was he cool enough for someone like her. Yes they could nerd out together, but why would she want to be with someone like that? He concluded that Y/N would never choose him as the ideal guy for her.

The next few days passed in a blur of meetings, rehearsals, and editing sessions. Spencer and Y/N maintained their easy rapport, but the unspoken tension simmered beneath the surface, growing more palpable with each passing interaction.

It was during a casual lunch break that the topic of relationships surfaced. They sat at a small table, sandwiches forgotten as they engaged in a lighthearted debate about romantic comedies.

"I've never been a fan of those over-the-top love stories," Spencer commented, taking a sip of his Kickstart.

Y/N raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh, really? You’re too cool for a good slow-burn romance?"

Spencer chuckled, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "Well, I suppose there's something nice about the anticipation, the build-up between two people. But maybe I'm just not cool enough to get it."

Their eyes met briefly, a shared misunderstanding of their words passing between them before they both looked away, the moment lingering in the air like an unspoken confession.

As the days passed, their dance of denial continued. They buried their feelings beneath layers of professional camaraderie, exchanging playful banter and supportive gestures while tiptoeing around the undeniable chemistry that crackled between them.

It was a delicate balance, a silent agreement to keep their emotions in check for the sake of their work and friendship. But with each passing day, the longing glances and fleeting touches spoke volumes, unspoken desires waiting to be acknowledged.

As the days turned into weeks and the unspoken tension between Spencer and Y/N continued to simmer, Spencer found himself grappling with a realization he couldn't ignore—he was falling for her.

It was an unusually quiet Tuesday afternoon in the office, the usual hustle and bustle replaced by a serene calm. Spencer sat at his desk, fingers tapping absently on the keyboard as he tried to focus. But his mind kept drifting, thoughts consumed by Y/N and the unspoken emotions that had taken root in his heart.

He replayed moments in his mind—the shared laughter, the stolen glances, the way her eyes lit up when they discussed their favorite games. Each memory was like a whispered confession, a testament to the depth of his feelings. Spencer leaned back in his chair, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. He knew he couldn't continue denying his feelings, couldn't keep pretending that his heart didn't ache every time Y/N walked away.

“Hey, you good man? You’re looking pretty… gone right now.” Spencer's friend and closest working relationship, Shayne Topp, asked him.

“Yeah… yeah uh what’s up?” Spencer coughed out.

“Well I was going to ask what your dinner plans are but… do you want to talk?” Shayne asked, his eyebrows sewing together in worry.

“No it’s dumb I don’t- I don’t even know what i’d say.” Spencer answered, slumping down in his chair farther.

“Shoot.”

“Well… I really like someone. I- I can’t get her out of my head. I can’t work, I can barely sleep when I could just stay up thinking about her.” Spencer admitted.

“Damn, to be honest I never thought I would see this day. What’s stopping you from getting her?” Shayne questioned, laughing at his school yard confession.

“I don’t man have you seen me?”

“Uh yeah you’re the ideal man.”

“Very funny. But no I'm serious she’s- let’s just say she is way too cool for me. Very far out of my league.”

“Dude have you seen my relationship? If you like her that much it’s dumb to torture yourself like this.”

“Yeah but, we're friends. What if I screw it up?”

“But what if you don’t?”

[jmagnabo92]

So I saw a post on Instagram, and it said:

‘Isn't it funny how James Potter decided to bully and harass a malnourished little boy from an abusive family just for existing, and years later, James' son became a malnourished little boy from an abusive family that bullies him just for existing’ 

And all the comments were agreeing and saying things like, ‘Karma’, ‘Glad I’m a James Potter hater’, ‘Don’t understand how he has even one fan’

And I was like… what??? Was so tempted to write a whole thing about it but decided the hate I’d get wasn’t worth it. What are your opinions about this? 

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!!

That's my initial reaction.

Don't these people know that the sins of the father shall not be visited upon the son?

It's not karma for Harry to suffer for James' mistakes. It's bullshit and I hope that no one that believes that has ever done anything wrong in their lives or their kids shall suffer. AND THERE"S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS BS.

Now, let's point out how else they're wrong.

First of all, I had to re-read the Prince's Tale - and mind you, I did skim it so I could've missed things, but there is NO WHERE that says he was 'malnourished' as a boy. Not a single description said anything was physically wrong with Snape like malnourishment. It talks about his mismatched clothes, and his parents arguing. There's a line about James having an 'air of well-cared for - ness that Snape lacked' but there's NOTHING that he states he was malnourished or even abused.

So that's utter BS. I won't argue about the abuse, but there was no evidence that he was malnourished.

As for the about "just for existing" - I think a lot of people forget that SWM canonically happens *after* James saves Snape's life from Werewolf Remus. The reason that it's easy to figure that out is there is a scene with Snape/Lily arguing about the MM thing and she literally mentions James saving him the other night.

The next scene is SWM.

Now, before get into that importance - I want to point out that in the scene about MM & the saving of Snape, Lily asks, "Why are you so obsessed with them?" and if it was a relentlessly unfair bullying situation there's two obvious answers:

A) he's been bullying me for years

B) I have to obsess so I can get one over on them.

He doesn't say either of those things - you know what he *does* say - he says "Potter fancies you"... and more about 'how great he thinks he is'.... isn't that rather suspicious?

You know what's also suspicious? If Snape's being relentlessly bullied than WHY DOESN"T HIS BEST FRIEND KNOW THE OBVIOUS? Maybe because it wasn't a situation of bully/victim - maybe it was a rivalry like Dumbledore suggested in the first book.

Now, back to the timeline:

So James saves his life and yet says "it's the fact that he exists" - which sounds terrible, right?

Of course it does, but here's the thing - Snape had literally as recently possibly two weeks previously (we don't know *exactly* when but sometime between Nov of 5th year and OWLs) had attempted to (at best) OUT Remus (at worst) KILL Remus - who is ONE of James' BFFs. Now - on top of that - we know that Snape has been obsessed with a theory for ages about Remus. We see this in the MM & Saving conversation - Lily says "I know your theory" with the air of someone that has heard his theories before. Given that he only found out *for sure* within a few days of that conversation that suggests that he has been going after Remus for a while.

So, here we have Snape's attempt to get Remus out or killed and James has every reason to hate him - he's a loyal guy. He believes in his friendships so much it cost his life and literally learned something that could put him behind bars *just to help his friend*. Whatever happened, however it happened, that doesn't matter to James.

What *does* matter is that Snape tried to detrimentally hurt his friend. So he has a reason, but in SWM, he literally *can't* say that. He would be outing Remus and he's not going to do that.

Which means he NEVER did anything *just because he exists* - he had a reason, he just couldn't say it.

Now, why does James have fans?

Because he's a good man. This is the man that did stupid shit when he was a teen, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, but nothing he did was ever on par with the things that Snape was doing - I've got a while post on that.

After he grows up, he joins the Order - to do good for people that he doesn't have to care about, yet does. He does so much good, he becomes a target. In that, he then goes on to give his life for wife and son. And they think this man doesn't deserve fans? What Bullshit is this??

***

ANYWAY, my longass point here is that: They're idiots, and I kind of wish that some people had more thought into the situation. James deserves better.

[erimeows]

To Be Selfish (NSFW)

Kakashi Hatake stands at the village gates with a ratty binder in his hands, flipping between multiple pages as the cool morning air blows through his silvery locks. 

A map, blurry pictures of the two men he’s been ordered to kill, descriptions of their jutsu, and a note with their most recent location following an encounter with another one of Konoha’s Anbu, who was found just over a night ago. 

It should be enough information for the two of you to succeed.

The time on his watch shows that it’s just past six in the morning. The sun is rising and painting the sky blue, purple, yellow, and orange in its wake. It’s cool, but not cold, though the incessant breeze in the air makes goosebumps raise on Kakashi’s arms while he waits for you.

Kakashi was ordered to meet you here at five thirty. Supposedly, the Hokage informed you of the rendezvous location as well. Kakashi was late due to him stopping to see Obito, Rin, Minato, Kushina, Might Dai, and his own father at the cemetery. Now, it’s half an hour past the time you were supposed to meet him and you still aren’t there.

Kakashi isn’t sure if you’re ditching him or if you’re going to show up late on purpose to piss him off. As the captain of Team Ro, he’s always tried to maintain decent relationships with his subordinates; you, Itachi, and Tenzo. However, the moment you were added to the team, it was clear that you had a bit of a crush on Kakashi. You were getting too close, trying to coddle him on missions, making him food, bringing him gifts, and constantly putting yourself in harm’s way for him. 

Though you’re much different than Rin, your behavior wasn’t. Kakashi still has nightmares about his old friend impaling herself on his chidori almost every time he tries to sleep for his sake, for the village’s sake- and he knows that, if something like that happens to him again, he’ll fall into the darkness and be unable to get himself out of it. 

He can’t lose someone again. He’s too damaged to do it again.

Admittedly, his solution to the problem may not have been the best one he could’ve come up with. Instead of having a genuine conversation with you about his past and telling you that he isn’t in the mental space to get attached to another person right now, let alone one who’s constantly in danger while working in Anbu, he did what was easy and pushed you away. He chewed you out for defending him during missions, belittled your abilities, avoided you at all costs, and rejected anything you tried to give or do for him- and rather than the cold indifference he’s so used to pushing people away with, he did it in the most hateful way possible, just to make sure it worked.

And it did. His plan worked better than he ever wanted it to. Now, instead of the puppy-like crush you had on him before, you hate him. Kakashi is fully aware that it’s his fault, but he’s too embarrassed to come clean to you. He also knows that he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness for how he’s hurt your feelings. So, he continues to pretend to hate you. Neither Itachi nor Tenzo have dared to ask about it, but it has negatively affected the team dynamic during training and missions.

Kakashi starts to assume that you aren’t coming and turns to leave, but right then, he hears slow and quiet footsteps approaching. He looks over his shoulder to see you in full armor, (h/l) (h/c) hair pulled back and your (e/c) eyes sparkling under the rising sun. If Kakashi’s body goes hot, he blames it on the impending sunlight, rather than on his love for you. 

It’s not you that makes him burn bright red from the top of his forehead, to the tips of his ears, to his neck, to the top of his chest…

Okay, maybe it is.

But you don’t need to know that.

“It’s not like those two to be late… They’re not late, are they? Why is it just us?” You ask, looking around as if you’re waiting for Itachi and Tenzo to appear. Kakashi can’t help but be disappointed by how bothered you seem that it’s just him. “I’d rather really not be stuck alone with you. The other two are much more personable.”

“Seems like Tenzo and Itachi are still in recovery after the last mission, so they couldn’t come along. Honestly, though, this shouldn’t require too much manpower. I don’t know why the Hokage is having me take you,” Kakashi coldly replies, even though the Hokage told him whether or not he made you come on this mission was up to his discretion since he’s the captain of Team Ro. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You huff.

“It’s supposed to mean that I could do it by myself.”

“Then why am I here if I could be in bed right now, you fucker?”

“Just in case.”

“See, you’re not nearly as confident as you say you are.”

“Don’t question me. I am your captain.”

And, as always, you immediately question him.

“What are we doing, anyway?”

“We’ve got a couple of B-rank assassins on our hands from Kusa. Our job is to take them out and dispose of their bodies.”

“There’s only two and they’re both B-rank? Why are they sending us?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “That’s honestly a little insulting considering we both have S-ranks in their bingo books over there.”

“While neither of them are particularly talented, their combo ability is dangerous,” Kakashi says. When you open your mouth to ask yet another question, Kakashi interrupts by rambling on, mostly because he’s skirting around explaining the enemies’ jutsu to you… It’s rather lewd and uncomfortable, to say the least. “That’s why S-rank shinobi are required to take them down. Don’t underestimate your opponent just because of their bingo book ranking. They could always be downplaying their strength.”

“Well? Spill; what is it that these guys do?”

Kakashi freezes. In order to succeed in this mission, you have to be aware of what your enemies are capable of. Still- it’s awkward to actually have to talk about something sexual, especially with you. 

“It’s, uh… Sex pollen,” He stammers out after a little too long.

“Sex pollen?” You tilt your head back and laugh, pointing a finger at him as if he’s joking- no, as if you’re making fun of him- even when you can clearly see the embarrassment that’s painted on his face. “Like in those weird fucking books you read?”

“Oh, shut up,” Kakashi turns his body to avoid your gaze. Honestly, he prefers the way you were before- sweet and considerate of his feelings- but he also knows that your constant teasing makes him want you even more than he did before for whatever reason. He continues to avoid your eyes, but hands you the binder full of information about the shinobi you have to assassinate and their location so you can read through it. “Anyway… Yeah. The jutsu caster releases a type of pollen into the air from nearby plants that acts as an intense aphrodisiac. It’s apparently so intense that, once you’ve inhaled it, it takes effect within half an hour and leaves you unable to do anything until you find relief.”

You quirk a brow up at that, confusion lacing your expression.

“Find relief?”

Kakashi sighs.

“Are you really going to make me say it?”

“I need all the details I can get if we’re going to fight these people, Kakashi. Don’t be such a prude.”

“Relief as in… Orgasm with another person. Pretty much, you’re left without the ability to fight, so the enemy has an opening to kill you while you’re vulnerable. If you somehow manage to escape them before it takes effect, but don’t find the ‘relief’ you need to break the jutsu, it’ll put so much pressure on your heart from the increased blood flow that you’ll die after a few hours- that is, if you can resist the urge to screw whoever’s closest. It’s much different than natural human arousal, or even anything that any medications could cause.” 

“It’s strong enough that even skilled shinobi can’t resist it? And why can’t you just masturbate to get rid of it?”

“Apparently even strong shinobi are vulnerable- it just takes longer for it to take affect. If you try to make it go away by masturbating, it won’t work. One of our guys was found dead from it recently because he went solo and tried to take care of himself after inhaling it, and they managed to get a sample of the pollen from his lungs and nasal passageways to take for testing, but the medical core hasn’t been able to come up with an antidote just yet. They said it’s very complicated and that they’ve never seen any other pollen like it. In the meantime, they want us to take care of the two; they’ve gone rogue from their village and been using this ability to kill any shinobi who try to capture them, and they’ve even used it to rob innocent civilians so they can afford whatever lifestyle it is they’re living as rogues.”

“Wait, you said there were two of them. If there’s one using this pollen jutsu, what does the other one do that’s so dangerous?”

“While the first is from a clan that can use this pollen-based jutsu, the other is from a neighboring clan that has a natural immunity to the released pollen. In Kusa, the two clans are known to work together for missions frequently,” Kakashi explains. “So the jutsu user would be able to inhibit us with the pollen, while the shinobi with the immunity would strike immediately after and remain unaffected, as to allow the jutsu user to focus on keeping us under the influence of the pollen.”

“Sounds tricky.”

“Precisely. It seems that they’ve been blessed with these kekkai genkai but are still relatively unskilled and have been wounded by shinobi unaware of their abilities. Even though they killed him in the end, the last ninja we sent out apparently wounded them both really badly before he went down,” Kakashi finishes. He takes the binder from your hands and returns it to where it was in his backpack. “So if we can find them in time and strike while they’re vulnerable, we’ll be able to take them down without an issue.”

“And that’s why you brought me, right?”

“Yes,” Kakashi answers. You were born with a rare kekkai genkai that not only allows you to sense chakra from a much further range than the average sensory type, but also allows you to sense whether the person’s primary chakra is wind, lightning, earth, fire, or water. “As talented as I am, I’m no sensory type.”

“So, really, you couldn’t do this by yourself,” You grin, playfully smacking Kakashi’s shoulder.

“I could use my hounds and do it by myself just fine,” He argues. “You, however, require less chakra use from me since I don’t have to summon you.”

“I bet you wish you could.”

“I’m glad I can’t. It’s not like we need to be any closer than we’re made to be,” Kakashi sighs, but he finds that all he wants is to be close to you. Still, there’s no making amends for how he’s treated you lately- all in a fucked up attempt to push you away just because of his own issues. “Last I heard, they were on the border between here and Kusa, on the north side. That’s around where they found the Anbu they killed, and with how injured they supposedly are, there’s no way they’ll make it too far without running into us. If we make good time, we’ll be able to find them.”

“You really trust in my tracking abilities that much?” You question.

You’re looking for validation. Kakashi can tell. Lately, he’d tell you ‘no’ or that you’re just more convenient than any alternatives, but even if it feels impossible, he wants to fix things. So, he tries to choose his words carefully.

“As much as I hate to admit it…” Kakashi pauses, then responds. “Yes, I do, but don’t let that get to your head.”

“Fine,” You huff and walk ahead with your arms crossed over your chest. “Let’s go, then.”

~

As much as you love Kakashi Hatake, you also despise him.

The two of you arrive on the south side of the border between Konoha and Kusa after a long, awkward, silent journey. Kakashi didn’t utter so much as a word to you during the multi-hour walk. 

When the two of you arrive at the cabin, you thank whatever god is out there for the fact that Tenzo exists. Shortly after you were assigned to Team Ro, the brunette started using his jutsu to build small cabins for you all to stay in, particularly on certain borders or in certain cities that the four of you frequent often for missions. With Kusa being a developing ninja nation compared to the major five, Konoha ninja are sent there frequently to assist them- and, behind the scenes- to keep them under control, lest they upset the balance between the ninja nations that has only just now started to settle after decades of war. 

The cabin is good, but still one of the worst ones. You don’t mind it much as you’re mostly just excited that you don’t have to sleep outside in a tent.

Being on a mission with Kakashi is stressful enough.

When you walk in, you’re reminded that there’s only one large bed. It wouldn’t be unusual for you and your three teammates to share it, but now that it’s just Kakashi here… Your heart flutters in excitement.

Much to your disappointment, however, as you shut the door behind you and set your bag down, Kakashi starts to complain about the arrangement.

“Only one bed. Of course, the one time we get landed in a place with one bed, it’s when I’m on a mission with you instead of one of the others,” Kakashi shakes his head and carelessly drops his bag to the floor. He doesn’t even spare you a glance as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls out his stupid book. It’s crazy to you that he reads romance novels all the time, yet ignores your obvious feelings for him. “And the thing’s big enough for four people… I’m going to ask Tenzo to start making more beds when he assembles these mission cabins for us.”

“Oh, please, Kakashi,” You reply and sit on the back of the bed. “I’ll be sure not to lay anywhere near you. Hell, I’ll sleep on the floor if you want.”

“No, don’t,” Kakashi quickly objects. The tiny bit of his cheeks that peeks out from beneath his mask is dyed bright red with a blush. “Your uh… Your back will hurt.”

You blink at him, then ask-

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes,” Kakashi answers as if he’s not being weird about this. You just continue to give him the most incredulous, judgmental stare you can possibly muster. “Our mission could be compromised if you’re in pain.”

“Okay, great! You’ll sleep on the floor, then,” You respond with a shit-eating grin that you know pisses Kakashi off more than anything.

“No, I won’t.”

You shrug.

“Then I’ll sleep in the floor and compromise our mission.”

“Just get in the bed,” Kakashi grumbles and strips down. You watch before you can think better of it, but if Kakashi notices, he doesn’t say anything. Your mouth waters at the sight of his bare back, muscles and pale skin covered in a flurry of scars. The defined muscles he has shift underneath his arms and shoulders as he- disappointingly- moves to the very edge of the bed and lies on his side with a blanket dragged on top of him to cover up his body. His mask remains on his neck, which bothers you, but you know better than to pry about why he wears the damn thing 24/7. “I promise I won’t touch you unless you want me to.”

At that, your heart skips a beat. Unless you want him to? Does that mean that he wants to? You struggle to speak, stuttering over the words you’re trying to force out. The worst part of you wants to make fun of him, but all you can do is ask him to clarify what he meant.

“Unless I want you to?”

“That came out wrong,” Kakashi quickly mutters and squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to look at you. “Just… Lay down. I’ll sleep on the edge. Pakkun will keep watch for us outside and wake us up when enemies come or when eight hours have passed- whichever comes first.”

“Fine,” You sigh and strip down to your underclothes as well. You swear that you feel Kakashi’s eyes on you, if only for a second, but when you check to see if he’s peeking, his eyes are still screwed shut. You lie on the side of the bed opposite to Kakashi, facing away from him and staring at the wall to save you the embarrassment of getting scolded or told to go away like he would’ve done back when you made your feelings for him obvious. “Goodnight, Kakashi.”

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

~

Kakashi wakes up in the middle of the bed. He’s always moved a lot in his sleep, but he’s still surprised to find himself turned onto his other side with his arms wrapped around…

You?

Yes, you. You’re fast asleep, snuggled into Kakashi’s chest as he holds you in his arms. Your face appears so peaceful like this, your lashes fluttering against your cheeks and your sleep-rustled hair framing your face. You’re only in a tank top and the shorts you wear under your uniform, so your warm (s/c) skin is pressed up against Kakashi’s. He notices the soft peaks of your breast squished against his chest and decides that enough is enough. He’d hate for you to wake up and see him holding you like this, especially when it wasn’t intentional.

He pulls away from you and checks the time on his watch. It’s only been six hours since the two of you went to sleep, but that should be more than enough. He’s stayed up for days at a time for missions before and he doesn’t want to waste so much time sleeping that the enemy manages to get away. 

Careful not to wake you up, Kakashi showers in the bathroom, changes his clothes, and goes outside to talk to Pakkun, who he had keeping watch overnight.

“Pakkun, anything to report?”

“I sent Biscuit to scout everything nearby. Seems like animals can’t sense this pollen from the reports you showed me before,” Pakkun answers. “But he sniffed out a couple ninja close by. They’re north of here, staying in a small shack. He said they smelled nervous but that he didn’t know if they were aware of you being nearby or not. Need us to guide you to where they are?”

“No, thank you. You’ve been working for more than six hours straight now, so you’ve done enough,” Right as Kakashi says that, he hears your footsteps. You stand in the doorway just a couple feet behind, listening in. “Plus, I’ve got (y/n) here to help me pinpoint them now that you’ve given us a general direction to work with. Please, go rest.”

“Stop acting like I’m old and need to rest all the time, Kakashi. It’s not like I’m on death’s door,” Pakkun huffs, scratching his paws against the dirt floor. “Not that I don’t appreciate the extra naps…”

Pakkun disappears in a cloud of smoke. Kakashi looks at you over his shoulder. Your hair is damp and the pleasant scents of perfume, soap, shampoo, and conditioner waft off of you in gentle waves. He assumes you must’ve showered right after he finished and went outside to communicate with Pakkun.

“Let’s go,” He says.

You silently nod. The two of you pack up, erase any traces of your shared presence from the cabin, and head out. 

Once again, the journey is silent. 

You and Kakashi travel up north by foot, staying in the trees of the forest so you can’t get ambushed from above or below. Neither of you talk, even as you get close to where the enemies are supposed to be. Kakashi still feels awkward about how he woke up this morning, and he isn’t sure whether or not you cuddled into him last night on purpose- or if you even know that it happened. You seem like you’re still mad about the spat the two of you had about the sleeping arrangements.

“I’m sensing two strong chakra sources up ahead… About half a mile,” You pause, stopping on a random branch and closing your eyes so you can focus on sensing the chakra signature. Kakashi listens and places a firm hand on one of your shoulders to keep you steady. “They’re high Chunin level, maybe low Jonin if they’re injured or trying to mask their chakra. I’m sensing water and earth in one of them… And the other is totally unfamiliar. I’ve never felt anything like it before.”

“Wood style is a combination of water and earth, so it wouldn’t be crazy to assume that someone who uses a plant-based kekkai genkai would use a combination of water and earth style. The other one is immune to the pollen as well as various types of poison but hasn’t been sighted yet using any elemental jutsu, so who knows what kind of chakra they have… These must be our guys. The jutsu has a range of about thirteen hundred feet, so we can’t alert them of our presence or we’re done for.”

“What should we do?”

“I’m surprised you’re consulting me,” Kakashi responds, to which you open your eyes and shoot him a sharp glare. “Hide your chakra and be as quiet as you can. We’ll stake out to see what they’re up to and get the drop on them.”

“Okay.”

The two of you eventually locate the shack you were told the enemies would be in. There’s a small window that you can see through as the two of you hide on the branch of a tree, seemingly out of sight from the two men. One of them is a brunette who sits at the table with his back facing the window. The other is a blond who stands across from the other, facing the window. Both are in standard Kusa ninja uniforms, and the blond has a standard Kusa forehead protector with a slash cut through it.

“We’ll wait until they move to do something or start talking to each other. Then I’ll use my chidori, break through the window, and kill them both,” Kakashi strategizes. “Your job is to follow close behind me. When I hit the first one, there will be a split second for the other to try and escape or counter me if he’s skilled enough. If he tries anything, kill him or find a way to keep him in the path of my chidori without getting yourself hurt.”

“So, what, you get to do everything and I’m just here as your contingency plan?”

Kakashi rolls his eyes at that. 

“Pretty much, so get over it.”

Just then, the blond shinobi starts to talk to his partner. His face changes. He appears paranoid and panicked. Is there any way he could have sensed you and Kakashi? …No, if that were the case, they would’ve moved to attack by now.

Everything seems to be going well enough, and the two men seem distracted. He makes eye contact with you and gives you a nod to let you know that you should ready yourself for combat.

You nod back. 

Kakashi channels his chakra to his hand to activate the chidori. With how fast it is, neither enemy should be able to do much of anything in retaliation- at least not in time to cast the pollen jutsu on him, especially with you acting as back up. 

Kakashi takes a deep breath and looks over at you. His heart starts to beat harder in his chest. Arousal shoots throughout his body like electricity. For a moment, he assumes it’s because of your presence, but then he catches a scent that’s… Sweet, just like how that pollen has been described to smell.

Kakashi looks at the enemy again. The one sitting with his back to the table seems relaxed, as the one standing upright a few feet in front of him is holding a hand sign; casting a jutsu.

“Shit,” He whispers.

“What is it?”

“Are you stupid? Or can you just not smell anything? We inhaled it, it’s sickeningly sweet,” Kakashi hisses, shaking his head to try to get the smell out of his nostrils. It doesn’t work. Just then, you slap your hands over your nose, seeming to have gotten a whiff of it too. “The enemy must have been using his jutsu as a precaution!”

“What do we do?” You demand, panic lacing your expression.

“Kill them now before they have the chance to take advantage of our weakened state,” Kakashi orders, and knowing the dire situation, you don’t argue with him.

“Yes.”

The two of you continue with the original plan. When Kakashi charges through the window with a ball of lightning attached to his hand, the two men look incredibly shocked to see that he’s even standing, and don’t have the time to counter him. Within a minute, both are dead on the floor of the shack, but the effects of the pollen don’t subside. Kakashi rushes to wash the blood off of his hands in the sink while you sit on the floor with your (s/c) cheeks flushed and pathetic little pants falling from in between your lips.

“This is bad…” Kakashi covers his masked nose with his hand, but it doesn’t help in the slightest.

“What does it matter? They’re both dead now! Shouldn’t it wear off?”

“That doesn’t mean anything- just because they’re dead doesn’t mean that the jutsu doesn’t have any effect. That’s like saying a fire style jutsu won’t burn a forest down after being shot at a tree just because you killed the user afterwards,” Kakashi scoffs, but he’s barely even able to form logical thoughts, let alone get the words out. Any normal civilian would’ve fully succumbed to this pollen by now and either had sex with the closest person or died. “Go look and see if you can find an antidote on him or the other one.”

“Why do I have to do it?” You complain with a pouty lip.

“Just do it! The pollen’s already starting to get to the both of us, and if we don’t figure something out soon, you know what’s going to happen.”

“Shit,” You gasp. You’ve quickly searched both men’s weapon pouches and bags, but based on the defeat in your voice, Kakashi assumes you didn’t find anything. “There’s nothing but kunai and paper bombs!”

“What about in their pockets?”

You quickly search the mens’ pockets.

“Nothing!”

“God dammit,” Kakashi straightens his back, then roughly grabs you by the bicep and drags you up so you’re standing on your feet. “We have to get out of here, now.”

“Shouldn’t we split up?”

“Are you insane? If they have any back up coming and they catch us alone with the state we’re about to be in, we’ll be killed. You know it’s not uncommon for rogue ninja to work together in large bands. This could be a hideout, and if more of them come back and find these ones dead, we’re done for!”

“What, like an enemy catching us fucking nearby instead of alone would be any better for us?” You shoot back. Kakashi can’t help but be angry that, regardless of your previous feelings for him, you’d literally rather split up and risk both of you dying than dare to have sex with him. “At least if we’re alone, we die with some dignity!”

“Why does dignity even matter at this point if we’re like-” Kakashi groans and gestures wildly to himself; his head, which is fuzzy with lust, and his dick, which is hard as a fucking rock- then to you. “Like this? I refuse to compromise our lives to save your pride!”

“So, what?” You yell back, throwing your hands up in frustration. “We have to do it or we die?”

“I can’t reasonably violate your consent, but if it’s what we have to do to stay alive, and you’d let me,” Kakashi breathes out. He’s so ashamed of himself for letting this happen to the two of you that he can’t even meet your eyes. “Yes.”

“Look, Kakashi,” You gather your composure for just long enough to form rational thoughts and tell him- “I know you don’t like me, but we have to figure something out. Let’s get back to camp and resolve it from there.”

At that, Kakashi sighs. 

“Who ever said I didn’t like you?”

Unsurprisingly, you don’t respond. Your mind is so clouded that all you can do is focus on getting back to the cabin without tackling Kakashi to the ground and taking him for yourself right then and there.

Worst of all, Kakashi can’t say that he’s doing much better.

~

When the two of you return to your hideout, you find yourself sitting hunched up in the corner. Meanwhile, Kakashi is restless, suggesting alternative solutions that both of you know won’t work.

“It’s getting worse,” Kakashi murmurs, frazzled and aroused. You’ve never seen him in either state let alone both at the same time. Kakashi is your captain, the rock of your team. As much as you act like you hate him, and as much as you boast about your own power, his consistent strength and talent at getting your team out of bad situations is what keeps you from spiraling in circumstances such as this. Now that he’s spiraling, you’re even more panicked, knowing that there’s no way out of this. “I can barely think.”

“I can see that,” You say the words as condescendingly as you can, but if you’re being honest, the sight of Kakashi’s length straining against his already tight pants is enough to make your situation worse. Even with the thick black cloth of the Anbu uniform, you swear you see all seven- or maybe six?- inches of it twitch. You force yourself to roll your eyes and look away from the man, who frantically paces the room. “If your dick gets any harder, it might burst through your pants. Seriously, looks like you could cut fucking diamonds with that thing.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re doing much better,” Kakashi snaps back at you. 

You offer nothing but a sardonic sort of cackle in return regardless of the fact that his words are true. You were so hot that you stripped yourself of your shoes, socks, pants, and armor as soon as you made it through the door of the cabin- Kakashi’s presence and your dignity be damned. You wore the stupid ‘sexy’ (f/c) bra and panties that you keep in your underwear drawer at home, on the off chance that you’d act on your feelings during this mission and get the chance to have sex with your captain.

You laugh even harder at the thought of that- if only you’d known just yesterday what would happen. Now, the two of you are in this cabin together, hormones going crazy, drenched in sweat, in desperate need of relief, with you in your soaked panties and Kakashi’s clothes soaked in blood. 

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.”

Kakashi sits on the floor in front of you. He’s close- too close. It takes everything in you not to climb on top of him and rock his world. 

“Why do you think I don’t like you?”

Of all things… Of all things, in the situation the two of you are in, horny out of your goddamn minds and using what little restraint you have left to keep from jumping each other’s bones without consent, Kakashi is asking about your feelings. 

You thought you were easy enough to read.  

You thought that, eventually, Kakashi would look at you and figure out that you’d loved him from the start and still do, even after everything the two of you have said and done to each other.

Apparently not.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” You snarl, gritting your teeth and clenching your legs together in hopes that it’ll put an end to the arousal pooling between them. If anything, the friction makes it worse, as even the slightest pressure on your clit has you biting your lip to keep from letting out any noise. “It’s not like you care.”

“Of course I fucking care,” Kakashi yells. You’ve seen him angry, sure, but you’ve never heard him yell. You snap your head around to look at him so quickly that your neck hurts as your (e/c) eyes go wide at his words. “Why do you think I had you come with me on this mission in the first place?”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I love you,” Kakashi suddenly confesses. He holds his head in his hands as he pulls his knees up to his chest. Your ears start to ring so loud that you don’t hear the rest of what he says. “And I thought I could do it by myself, but I knew Itachi and Tenzo were still in the hospital, so I dragged you with me anyways because I was selfish and wanted to spend time with you alone for once- and now we’re like this, and it’s my fault.”

“You shouldn’t love me,” You object, cheeks red and mind racing. You’re not sure if it’s the confession or the pollen that’s causing it, but you find that your heart is beating so hard and fast against your chest that you can’t even swallow because you can feel it in your throat. “That’s not right- it can’t be! Why would you be so cold to me all this time if you loved me?”

“Because I was stupid and didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I was scared of losing you like I’ve lost everyone else I’ve gotten close to, so I pushed you away… But I promise you, (y/n), I love you more than anything.”

“It… It can’t be.”

“It can’t? Then tell me how to stop, (y/n). Tell me how to stop loving you,” Kakashi demands. He pauses, carefully waiting for a response. He pulls his forehead protector off and tosses it across the room. It hits the wall then falls to the floor with a clatter. Briefly you wonder what it would be like for him to use that sort of brute force on you, but you’re distracted by Kakashi’s ungloved hands on the sides of your face and his eyes peering into yours; one a deep charcoal and one a brilliant ruby red that you swear glows against the darkness of the house under the night sky. “No, seriously. Spare me.”

“I thought you hated me,” You whisper, closing your eyes to avoid Kakashi’s.

“I don’t.”

“What, so you brought me back here instead of having us split up so you could fuck me? Because you love me? Is that what you want?”

“You’re kidding me,” Kakashi shakes his head at you and jerks his hands away from your skin like you’re poison. He turns his back to you, groaning. “This is the opposite of what I want. I…”

“You what?”

“I never thought you’d return my feelings again after how I treated you. I still don’t expect you to,” Kakashi sighs. His gaze flickers from the wooden floor to your face. Finally, when his eyes meet yours, you see the genuine emotion in his face- and you’re able to swallow your pride. “But if you did, I wanted our first time together to be…”

“What, romantic? Sweet?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi answers, then scoffs. “This must be hilarious to you.”

At Kakashi’s apparent defeat, you soften. Even after everything that’s happened… You can admit that the two of you have been meaner to each other than what was ever necessary.

“A little bit. I can’t say I didn’t expect it, though. I’ve seen the books you read,” You offer an awkward sort of half smile and scoot forward so you can rest a reassuring hand on Kakashi’s shoulder from behind. Unsurprisingly, he flinches at the touch. Thankfully, though, he doesn’t move away or tell you to stop. “But I’d lie if I said I didn’t want the same thing.”

“You mean you…?” Kakashi trails off and looks back at you from over his shoulder.

“Mhm,” You nod.

Kakashi hurriedly turns around to face you again, putting both of his hands on your shoulders and gripping them tight.

“I don’t want you to have sex with me just because of- of this,” He says, frustration lacing his voice, to which you offer a half-hearted shrug.

“We don’t have much of a choice, unless you want to die here,” You climb into Kakashi’s lap and yank his mask down before he can object. The garment hangs loosely around his neck. You continue as you take in the sight of his face; so beautiful, with scarred porcelain skin, red cheeks, and soft-looking lips. At this point, most shinobi- and every average civilian- would’ve broken and given in to the urges of the sex pollen jutsu by now. You’re also desperate to get some sort of relief- and more so, desperate for Kakashi himself after having waited so long for this. “The quicker we get it over with, the quicker we can go home, and the higher chance we have for survival.”

“Fuck, you’re right,” Kakashi grumbles and carries you to the bed, where he sits with his back against the bedframe and your body still in his lap. You flinch when he reaches into his weapons pouch at lightning speed, only to be pleasantly surprised when he flicks a kunai upwards to cut your armor, shirt, and bra into pieces. The garments fall onto the floor and leave you exposed to his lust-glazed eyes. “Let’s get started, then.”

“You owe me a new lingerie set, asshole. You better buy me one when we get back, because that was expensive, and I wore it for you,” You scold at the sight of your bra, undershirt, and armor cut to shreds and being thrown to the floor by one of Kakashi’s large hands. “Armor, too.”

Kakashi doesn’t even dignify your orders with a response- instead choosing to focus on your other comment

“You wore them for me, did you?” He hums You stare in awe at the sight of his exposed face. “That’s… Actually really sweet, (y/n).”

“Don’t be such a sap,” You scold and move so you can take your underwear off and toss them to the floor. “And while we’re at it, it’s unfair that I have all my clothes off while you’re still fully dressed.”

“Then help me get my clothes off before this pollen makes me lose my mind. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

You do as told and help Kakashi strip off his socks, pants, and boxers. Your eyes go slightly wide at the size when his hard dick springs out from underneath his clothing. 

You climb back into his lap and pause. 

“I never thought I’d see you like this.”

“I never thought I’d get to see you like this either,” Kakashi smiles. You realize that, even after this, you would like to see his smile more. Seeing his face without that stupid mask on it is refreshing after so long of only receiving that cold one-eyed stare of his. “Can I touch you?”

“Sure, just do it slowly to start with.”

“I can do that.”

Slowly, just as he promises, Kakashi touches you. He starts with squeezing your thighs and your ass. When you shudder at the motions, he continues by running his hands up and down the length of your waist, then moving them back up to cup your tits and fondle them tightly. His lips are on you seconds later; on your belly, up to the center of your chest, peppering your (s/c) skin in kisses before one of them is wrapped around your nipple. He sucks the bud to full hardness and pinches the other between two of his fingers, then alternates until both are fully stiff under the cool air. 

The effects of the pollen are starting to get to you. You were the one who instructed him to take it slow, but waiting for him to give you the relief you so desperately need is killing you. You can feel the thoughts in your head becoming less coherent.

Kakashi pulls his mouth away from you and reaches between your legs. At first, he simply touches your folds and playfully explores the area as if he’s teasing you. Just as you’re about to scold him for doing so, two fingers are being thrusted in and out of your soaked entrance. You groan and curl forward. You’re so, so relieved that you’re finally being touched, but so frustrated that you still need to cum for the pollen to wear off. Kakashi uses his thumb to toy with your clit and watches his drenched fingers disappear into you with intent.

“A-Ah… Don’t look at me like that,” You pout, glancing at the wall past Kakashi’s shoulders. “You’re making me self-conscious.”

“There’s nothing for you to be self-conscious about, especially compared to me,” Kakashi responds in a low tone. Your eyes snap back to him. What does he mean, compared to him? Regardless of his hand palming you and his deft fingers teasing your clit between your slick folds, you find yourself staring at Kakashi’s body. What could he have to be self-conscious about…? He has a perfectly sculpted body, beautiful porcelain skin, soft silver hair, dainty thin lips, and sharp eyes. The only things you could think of would be the infinite amount of scars he has, but you’ve never thought anything of them. “You’re beautiful, always, but especially like this.”

“You don’t have anything to be self-conscious about either, you idiot.”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything to that, instead looking at where he’s thrusting his fingers in and out of your cunt, and then up at your sweat-dampened face. 

“You ready?” Kakashi asks, to which you nod your head. 

Kakashi gently pulls his fingers from you and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance. It’s large enough that your eyes widen at the sight of your hips being pulled down onto it. You’re so wet that he gets it in without much trouble, but the tightness and the friction of it has both of you letting out a choked sort of noise and melting into each other. 

“Kakashi,” You cry out as you struggle to take his length all at once. Even with the slight amount of prep he did mixed with the pre-existing slickness from the pollen, it’s so large and thick that the stretch borders on painful. “Kakashi, I can’t-”

“What, you can’t handle me?”

“I can-” You start, then gasp when Kakashi’s hands on your hips shift your lower body closer to him. Your tits are pressed flush against his upper chest, your belly brushes against his shredded abs, and you’re filled to the brim with his cock. When he bucks his hips up into you to meet the bounces of yours, he slips a hand between your legs and massages your clit. With a sharp inhale, you manage to force out the following words as you dig your nails into his shoulders. “I can handle you.”

“Typical (y/n). You’ve always loved to challenge me,” Kakashi whispers, nipping at the shell of your ear as he does. “Fuck…”

Kakashi pulls back to look you in the eye. In the darkness of the cabin, the two of you are only slightly illuminated by the moonlight that pours in through the window. The one other light source is the ruby red glow of Kakashi’s sharingan. It feels like it’s piercing through you as you watch the tomoe swirl. You realize that he’s recording this moment, this love, for himself.

Maybe he’s loved you for longer than you thought. 

That love is evident in the way he stares at you like he’s obsessed, evident in the way he touches your body like it’s a masterpiece, evident in the way he fucks up into your body like he’s been waiting forever for this, evident in the way he whispers sweet nothings to you like you’re something to be cherished instead of just a teammate or even just a friend. 

Kakashi wraps his arm around you and holds you close so he can fuck you hard. It’s been a bit since you’ve done anything with anyone- Anbu is a cold, hardening organization and most of the time, at the end of the day, you just want to collapse onto your bed and cry yourself to sleep. On the occasions that you’ve dated or slept around, however, it’s been with civilians. It’s always been that way, just because it’s easier to not see them after everything inevitably falls apart. So, you’re not used to being flush against chiseled muscles covered in scar-mapped skin, nor are you used to being fucked with the strength and energy of a shinobi such as Kakashi.

Most importantly, though, you’re not used to someone who loves you fucking you. Pollen aside, this is more like making love than fucking with how Kakashi rushes to press your lips together and kiss you until you feel like you’re drowning on it. He pulls back, just briefly, to nip at your neck with his fangs and suck hickeys into the skin along your shoulder and the side of your neck, before pushing his lips back against yours. It’s so messy and desperate that a dribble of spit drips down the side of both of your mouths, but neither of you care enough to pull back and wipe it away. 

Kakashi shudders and sighs into you when the walls of your hot, wet cunt tighten around his cock. He takes that as encouragement to help you along and keeps pistoning up into you in rhythm with his thumb circling your clit until your ears are ringing and stars light up behind your eyes. Pleasure tears through you.

“I love you,” You moan against his lips as you finish, too relieved by the electric feeling of release that courses through your veins to be embarrassed.

Meanwhile, Kakashi seems to revel in it; your vulnerability, your presence, your body, your overstimulation.

“Sorry, what was that?” Kakashi teases. “I couldn’t quite hear you over all the noise you’re making.”

“I said I love you,” You murmur and rest your forehead against Kakashi’s while holding his face in your hands. “I really do mean that.”

You slump into Kakashi, weakly continuing to grind down onto him so he can finish, too. He moves his hand away from your clit to let you recover to some extent, but keeps thrusting up into you. You reach up to wipe the drool on the corners of your lip that comes from how Kakashi is making your mouth water. You’re overstimulated and you’re not sure if Kakashi’s hardness lingering inside of you is painful or pleasant or both.

“I love you, too,” Kakashi breathes out. “You look like you’re doing better, but I’m not quite done yet. Do you need me to move us?”

“Y-Yeah, I think so,” You nod. Your orgasm knocked the wind out of you and your legs and arms are shaking like crazy with the strain of riding Kakashi’s large cock while strung out on this pollen. You slow to a stop with Kakashi still throbbing inside of you, in need of release. You don’t know if it’s been five minutes or five hours. “Please, take over.”

“On your knees,”Kakashi slides out of you with a slick noise and grabs you by the hips to flip you around. He bends you over and pushes you onto your arms and knees before pushing his length back into you. You cry out at the sudden intrusion and blush at the slow trickle of your wet arousal dripping down your inner thighs. “There you go, you’re taking it so good… Fuck, I’m close…!”

“Then cum so we can leave already,” You grunt. Your head is spinning so fast that you’re barely able to get the words out. At first, you were at least able to muster the strength to stay on your hands and knees. Now, with Kakashi’s hips slamming against your ass at an increasing pace, you can’t keep it up. You drop to your forearms. The pleasure and pain is all so overwhelming with the pollen coursing through your body that your arms give out and have you stuck with your face buried in the bedsheets and your ass held up in the air by Kakashi’s rough grip on your waist. “Seriously, I’m about to cum again, so hurry up and finish before I pass out or something…!”

“Don’t act like you don’t want it, (y/n),” Kakashi growls and reaches up with one hand to thread grab you by the hair and twist your head just enough to make you look back at him. “If I weren’t so desperate for you, I’d make you beg for it.”

You let out a loud, breathy whine, but you don’t dare to argue with him- lest he actually make you beg. That’ll have to wait for next time.

Hopefully, there is a next time.

Kakashi’s thrusts finally start to become more rough and haphazard, signaling to you that he’s getting close. You muster your last bit of energy to throw your hips back against his. Pathetic little cries leave your throat and echo through the night air of the dark, lonely cabin as Kakashi’s fingers and thumb dig into your hips so hard that you’re sure you’re going to have a hand-shaped bruise come morning. 

Kakashi suddenly lets out a loud groan and stills with his cock buried in you as deep as possible. That last thrust mixed with him coating the walls of your cunt with his cum drags you over the edge once more. He pulls his hand from your hair and lets go of your hip so he can put his hands on the bed on either side of you and bend forward to rest his cheek against the middle of your back. 

“Kakashi…” You start, but you’re unsure of what you want to say.

After that- after everything- what could you say?

“(y/n)...” Kakashi whispers and presses a kiss into the skin of your back before pulling out and laying down on the bed.

You flip over as well, lying on your back, just as Kakashi does. The two of you catch your breaths while staring at the ceiling. You turn to your side to face your lover (?), who you rush to touch once more.

“Do you feel any better?” You ask while tracing a finger up and down Kakashi’s bare, sweaty chest.

“Yeah, I think the effects are wearing off. Sorry if I was a little rough with you, I was just… Under the influence of the pollen. Not that it’s any excuse. I’m a little embarrassed now, thinking about the things I said,” Kakashi takes a deep breath, exhales, and turns to check on you. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. We should be good now, I think.”

Weirdly enough, you can’t bring yourself to snap at him like you would’ve just hours ago. You try to stand from the bed so you can get dressed, only to stumble from the strain that was put on your body. Kakashi rushes to catch you by the arm and pull you back down to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Want some help?” He offers, moving to sit next to you on the bed and putting a hand on your shoulder. 

“Um, sure…”

Slowly, Kakashi cleans the two of you up, helps dress you in clean and comfortable clothes from your bag, fixes your hair, puts your forehead protector on over your head, and gets himself dressed and ready to go. He stands and puts both of your bags over one shoulder to carry them. You remain sitting on the bed, simply watching his every move.

“You’re quiet,” Kakashi points out.

“Not much to say after all that,” You mutter. “Except… I do love you back, if you really meant what you said. If it was just the pollen talking, then you can pretend I’m joking and we can go back to hating each other, and-”

“I meant it. I really do love you,” Kakashi interjects. Then, he steps forward and tenderly pushes a stray lock of hair away from your eyes. “I wanted to talk about this more, but we should go dispose of those bodies back at enemy grounds and make sure that there’s not any more of them. The pollen that was released back there should’ve worn off by now.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that entirely…” You sigh and scratch the back of your neck. “Do we have to include what just happened to us on the mission report?”

“I think I’d literally rather die than tell anyone back in Konoha that we fucked because of sex pollen,” Kakashi laughs, shaking his head. “Now, let’s get going before the Hokage starts getting suspicious about why it’s taken us so long…”

With that, the two of you leave the cabin, your head on Kakashi’s shoulder and your hand in Kakashi’s hand.

[kiirotoao]

HEYYYY HANA! It's me olive/livy/ hey you/ that one person that always joins your lives I had a recent interaction with a more toxic mileven shipper but they said something that really did make me think so I want your thoughts in their words they said "mileven has been cannon for 8 years now why would they end it all at once" they had said this in the middle of a debate and it really got my thinking like would the duffers really end a relationship that has been built on for 8 years for byler? Plz lemme know what you think

OMG HI YOU 🤭 I’d be delighted to give my two cents, thanks for coming to me, Olive!!

Ah, yes. The age old argument of ‘why would the Duffers break up Mleven after building them up all this time?’ To which I say - what build up does one truly speak of? Yes, they’ve been canon romantic from season 1 since that kiss, technically, but their relationship only became truly canon since season 3. And yes, the show has been in production for about 8 years, but the show spans only about 3 years (1983-1986). Even then, to say that Mleven has been canon for that long just isn’t true. In total, they’ve only spent about 6 months together physically in canon (the fall, spring, and, summer of 1985 just before season 3 starts), and 6 months together long-distance (the summer, fall, and spring of 1986).

Point is, they’ve not been together as long as it seems. They’ve expressed interest from the start, but even then, on El’s side, it’s pretty debatable to me.

Take this scene where El literally asks Mike, “will you be like my brother?” I think I can just leave that there as it is.

Now, I do understand the notion that they’ve been in writing for 8 years. But guess who else have been? Mike and Will. Their relationship is just as if not more important to each other’s growths as characters, especially in season 4.

If you’re looking for canon relationships, look no further than Mike and Will’s friendship. If you need to see clear pictures of encouragement, understanding, and amendment, look no further than everything they’ve done for each other over the years.

All in all, I believe that just because you aren’t directly in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that the current chemistry is void and only counts when you do get together.

Byler have chemistry, that’s why I think that they could easily get together. And by contrast, Mleven don’t. Throughout the seasons that Mike and El have been together, it’s been a struggle for them to connect. Whenever they do, it’s shallow. Take the reunion in season 4 - El is lying to Mike about being friends with Angela, and Mike is lying to El through his split focus on Will (when he complains about Will “rolling [his] eyes,” “moping,” “basically [sabotaging] the whole day”).

Mike is clearly affectionate to El, but he consistently dotes on her looks and never her character beyond her powers. El is clearly affectionate to Mike, too, but it’s clear to me that any time she reaches out to Mike, wrote to him, tried to talk to him in the void, anything, he just couldn’t seem to reach her in return.

Meanwhile, we have Byler promising to go “crazy together.” They sit and listen to each other. Meeting Will is “the best thing that [Mike has] ever done.” Mike thereafter in that scene talks about Will’s persistence. And we know that Will thinks of Mike as a leader, “guiding, inspiring.” Not only are they affectionate to each other, they’re comfortable expressing themselves around each other, highlighting each other’s positive traits, encouraging, supporting, connecting.

Need some people be reminded that filmwork is essential to TV, and so canonically Mike and Will also have many moments together. It’s not like their relationship isn’t known to us in canon (let alone blocked very specifically, too!).

So yeah, to that statement of “Mleven has been canon for 8 years now” so “why would they end it all at once” I say: it’s only been two years maximum in canon, and they’ve been founded on a deteriorating relationship with another much stronger one right in our faces, so no, yeah, Byler is very possible and wouldn’t be sudden in the slightest.

[alluringnectar]

Timeless

abby anserson x fem!reader

a/n: idk how to use tumblr so my fault the layout is ass, i’ll improve lemme cook 😭🙏🏽. ts work is a repost, so its crappy. lmk if yu want smut cus i’ll write it.

summary: you’ve been promoted & you come across abby.

warnings: sfw, js shit talking.

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3

Beep beep.

You groan, not ready to get up. Your hands fumble for the alarm clock, pressing every button your fingertips graze.

Beep beep!

How the hell is it still sounding? You ask yourself, finally lifting your head from the pillow to check the time.

6:43 am.

Shit.

You're usually awake and ready by this time, but yesterday you were out partying with your friends. Your recent promotion within the W.L.F. had warranted a night of revelry, but now the consequences were clear: a foggy mind and a rush to start the day. You had gained new perks from Isaac himself. Your friends thought this was deserving of a celebration, so they invited everyone from the W.L.F. You didn’t hate partying, but you preferred just hanging out with your friends. Among others, you were considered friendly, which was the truth— but you did like some time alone as patrols really tired you out.

Today was about clearing your clouded mind from worries, just living in the moment! Last night was one of the best nights you had in a while; you got to meet great people. You met a man named Manny; he was playful and divertido, a trait you admired. He was happy to introduce you to his other friends as they were going to be your new partners for patrols. A couple, Owen and Mel, came forward to greet you. “Your hair is so healthy and silky! I’d do anything for long hair like yours!” Mel smiled, and you grinned, thanking her.

You’ve always prioritized your looks and emphasized the importance of being well-groomed. You loved makeup, pink, and putting bows in your long hair. It was what made you, you. You found comfort within femininity throughout the apocalypse and the battle against scars. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard something approaching Manny, Owen, Mel, and you. As soon as you looked up to see who it was, you couldn’t help but stare. Her hair was braided, wearing a tank top so you could see the density of her muscles. She had a calm demeanor, and you crossed your arms in a playful way. “Have I seen you before?” She smiled with her teeth, and you swear you could’ve folded right then and there. “No, you haven’t,” you felt your cheeks burn, giggling at the thought of her actually wanting to get to know you.

“Abby,” said the blonde woman. Abby. The name seemed to suit her. “Father’s joy,” you mumbled. “What?” Abby asked, genuinely curious. “That’s what Abby means,” you smiled warmly at her, waiting for a response. Abby chuckled; she raised her arm to rub your back. “What’s your name then?”

Before you could respond, Mel snapped, saying your name to Abby. You were confused by the abruptness of her answer. As you turned to look at Mel, she looked angry. Not at you. At Abby. Abby smiled softly and looked over at you, a look that you could forever hold in your heart. “I’ll see you around,” and with that, she walked away, heading towards another group with Manny, way more welcoming than Mel. At the corner of your eye, you saw the way Owen looked at Abby. He looked at her as if he had regrets, as if he lost something they had. You decided to shake it off, as it may only be your imagination. “What’s wrong, Mel?” you asked her, with genuine concern about why she's cold. She smiled at you softly and told you “Oh, it’s nothing. I just wanted to look out for a new friend. Abby is not someone you want to be hanging out with.” You hummed to yourself. You usually don’t believe what you hear, only what you see.

“She’s a shitty person.”

“She’s selfish.”

“She’s a liar.”

Despite Mel’s warnings, you still wanted to get to know Abby. Your desire to learn more about her grew. She sparked your curiosity, and the yearning blossomed.

After the night was over, you took your heels off and collapsed in your bed. You were excited about what new patrols you can take on tomorrow and who was going to be your partner. You ended up falling asleep, staring at the ceiling while Abby lingered in the back of your mind.

Now you were brushing your teeth, putting on a Lulu Define jacket, and tight flared black yoga pants. You put your hair in a slickback, put your sneakers on, and walked out the door. This was your first patrol after being promoted by Isaac. As you walked into the gym, you walked to the treadmills as your usual routine is cardio. Then you feel a hand placed on your shoulder; you turned your head back and it’s Abby. She smiles at you, and you smile back, blush tainting your cheeks. Abby parts her lips. “This outfit looks cute on you.”

“Thank you, Abby.” What Abby doesn’t know is that her compliment will be forever in your mind. Only within minutes talking to her - and only meeting her yesterday - she already makes you all giddy like a teenage girl in love. “Care to get some breakfast with me after you’re done with your cardio?” she asks, and you nod eagerly. “Of course, I will. Who would ever pass up that offer?” you giggle. Abby smirks at not just your reply, but at your giggle. She found you cute and amusing, but she was afraid Mel already said something to you. She didn’t want to mess up this chance— she couldn’t lose you when she never even had you. She’ll be careful and gentle even if it would take longer. Time will pass.

After 30 minutes, you considered yourself done for the day, as it was just a warm-up for the patrol later in the evening. You saw Abby sitting on the bench, wiping her sweat off the weights— she was thoughtful of others, and you kept that in mind. How could she ever be selfish? You walk up to her and tell her “Do you wanna go now?” Abby grins and says “I’d love to.”

Today’s menu was breakfast grilled cheese with Greek yogurt parfait- not bad! Since Abby has some perks, both of you got your meal pretty quickly and some good seats! “Have you seen the new patrol rotation?” Abby asks, and you shake your head “No actually, I was planning to check after the gym” you reply. “Maybe we can check together then. After this meal of course” she chuckles. Her smile is so cute, and you’d cross the whole world just to see it again. “You know, you’re not what I expected you to be.” Abby looks up at you, brows furrowed in confusion. “Mel said something didn’t she?” You sigh but nod, “I just think it’s funny how you’re the exact opposite of what she claimed for you to be. She’s sweet, but she was wrong about you. Don’t tell her but I think I’m starting to prefer you” you giggle, putting your fingers onto Abby’s lips as if to shush her. Abby was quiet alright, but not for the reason you’d think it would be. She’s thinking of your fingers gently touching her lips, leaning in for a kiss. Her thoughts are interrupted when you speak, “Do you wanna go check the board for patrols now?”

“Let’s go.” Abby stands up, pushes her chair back into the table and takes your hand— never roughly, as she’d never want to break you— fragility as a porcelain vase. Her calloused fingertips and palms, now holding your forearm, something that you’ll think about to help you sleep.

As you’re approaching the board, there’s a whole crowd of people, surrounding it. While some are content with their role and duo, others are muttering under their breath “fuck.” You can’t help but keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get Abby. As you and Abby kept shoving your way through, yelling “ ‘xcuse me!” you finally make your way to the front, and both of you immediately scan for your name. Then, you see it.

You and Abby. She seems to notice too, because she’s whispering “looks like you’re stuck with me for a little longer.” You giggle, lightly elbowing her playfully.

In reality, you'd prefer to be with her more than anyone else.

[claudemblems]

Zzz | Dan Heng

Summary: Your nap with Dan Heng is cut short by the realization that it's dinner time, but you have no intentions of giving up your place in his arms.

Notes: I'm writing for Star Rail now 🤭 Can you tell who my favorite character is lol

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

“[Name], it’s time to get up. The others are expecting us.”

Who cares? you thought to yourself, not daring to move a muscle lest you should let your boyfriend know that you were, indeed, very much awake. He would have chided you for your remark despite inwardly agreeing with you. Someone has to be the practical one in this relationship, he’d told you once, but becoming your boyfriend had to be the least practical of decisions he’d made in recent years. With your insatiable curiosity and heroic soul, you always ran yourself head first into the unknown without a single thought of what danger could lie ahead. But you were a magnetic force that even Dan Heng could not repel, and like a moth to a flame, he found himself drawn to you–every part of you–and if that meant setting himself ablaze, then so be it.

Dan Heng being so hopelessly in love with you meant that you could get away with a few more minutes of “sleep”, right…?

Not quite.

“[Name].” He gently shook your shoulders, sighing to himself when you showed no signs of waking. “March is going to give me another one of her punctuality lectures if we don’t get to dinner on time, which is ironic coming from her, but still.”

You nearly let out a laugh before catching yourself, quickly disguising it as a disgruntled snore. March 7th already annoyed Dan Heng enough as it was, but nothing unnerved him quite like when she chastised him as if she were his big sister. The disdain on Dan Heng’s face could be seen plain as day to everyone around, but, much to his dismay, his friends found themselves entertained by his so-called misery. But he was used to the antics of his fellow passengers by now…mostly.

Still, he would have liked to avoid a lengthy scolding from March if possible.

“[Name]...”

After a few moments of silence, Dan Heng breathed out a sigh of defeat. Not one to go to dinner alone (not since you entered into the picture), he decided to join you in catching up on some sleep. He situated the pillows of his makeshift bed into a more comfortable position before laying down beside you, and carefully, as to not wake you, he wrapped his arms around your back, pressing you close to his chest. You were glad that he couldn’t see the obvious flush to your cheeks—not only to spare you your own embarrassment, but also because your cover would have been blown. Sleeping people don't blush at their lovers' touch, after all. You already Dan Heng right where you wanted him, and you weren’t about to let anything come between you and your bliss.

That was, until a hot breath fanned against your neck and you jumped.

“I knew you were awake.”

“Dan Heng,” you hissed, instinctively hiding your face in your hands. “I just wanted some more alone time with you. Are you really going to get mad at me for that?”

“I’d never be angry with you,” he assured, using his elemental powers to ruffle your hair, something he only did when he was feeling particularly affectionate. “Maybe a little annoyed, but you can make it up to me by being on the receiving end of March’s lecture this time.”

“All right, fine,” you sighed dramatically, but you couldn’t hold back the smile forming on your face. “Looks like I win again.”

“And what did you win, exactly?”

“Your attention. I’m keeping track of how many times you choose to give into my impulsivity over your practicality. So far, I'm on a winning streak.”

“You really are as unpredictable as that stellaron you have.”

“And like a star, my gravitational pull is too strong for you to resist.”

“How cheesy.”

“You just wish you had a stellaron that made people so captivated by your presence.”

Dan Heng smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your hair. “Stellaron or not, my heart would still find its way back home to yours every time, My Starlight.”

“Dan Heng—! You can’t just get all mushy like that all of a sudden, I…”

“Flustered?” he asked, and just by the tone of his voice, you knew he was grinning.

“I’m telling March that our absence at dinner is your fault after all.”

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Bisexual Basics

— Karin Baker

THE MOST BASIC thing about bisexuality is that it unlinks what most cultures see as a fundamental connection: sex and gender. If you can understand that for some people sexual attraction is not tied to a specific gender, then you understand the most important thing about bisexuality.

At least in the United States, separating sexuality and gender is difficult. While public attention—negative and positive—has recently been focused on homosexuality, the idea that it is not the only alternative to heterosexuality is less often recognized. This is not surprising, given that here as in most western cultures, there is a tendency to organize concepts dualistically, to see only opposites.

Heterosexuality and homosexuality as related ideas are one example. Thus, even while homosexuality is not an acceptable alternative to heterosexuality for many people, it is clearly fixed in their minds as the other option. Few conceive that there could be a third option, or even a continuum of possibilities.

This or That

Bisexuals sometimes refer to society’s tendency to dichotomize as an “either/or” approach. You must be attracted to either women or men, be either heterosexual or homosexual—what bisexuals sometimes lump together and call “monosexual.” Similarly, in our society, no matter what your actual racial background, you are seen as either white, or a person of color.

In contrast, some of us see bisexuals as having an approach to sexuality that could be called “both/and.” We are heterosexual and homosexual, both at the same time—which actually adds up to something completely different.

The woman whose parents are respectively white and African American is not racially or culturally half one and half the other. She is a blending of the two, in which neither aspect can be separated out. Similarly, bisexuals are not “part” queer, or “part” straight—we are what we are.

The Continuum of Sexuality

Maybe the idea that sexual attraction actually falls on a continuum, rather than clumping around homosexuality and heterosexuality, seems obvious. As a bisexual person, it is certainly obvious to me. However, I have come to realize that some are confounded by the idea.

This inability to imagine that someone could truly be attracted to more than one gender is probably the origin of myths such as “bisexuals don’t really exist,” and “bisexuals just haven’t made up their minds yet.” For some, sex means desire for women or men, but never both.

In a recent example, a bisexual friend of mine overheard a conversation between a lesbian and a gay man in which both commented on how confused bisexuals were. One of them said, “sooner or later bisexuals have to make up their minds!”

I wish I’d been there to ask them, why? Can you explain the basis for your reasoning? Why can’t we have already made up our minds—to be bisexual?

It seems to be hard to escape the assumption that there are only two choices, and everyone must ultimately settle for one of them. I have never heard a logical argument, or any biological law that explains why this choice is so unavoidable.

I have an easier time with this when I think about how hard it is for me to grasp attraction to one gender only, whether gay/lesbian or straight attraction. Because sexuality and gender aren’t linked for me, I’m surprised when I hear about people who are only attracted to women, or only attracted to men.

As a feminist I can understand why some women would choose not to be with men. I can also see that a person might want something in a sexual relationship that is more typically found with one gender or the other. But how could one gender always fall outside the boundaries of sexual possibility?

I believe that it happens, because people tell me that it’s true for them. It’s just extremely hard to imagine.

In fact, we bisexuals have a tendency (which I resist in myself) to think that all people are potentially bisexual. If they haven’t acted on it yet, monosexuals must either be repressed, or they just haven’t found the “right man”/“right woman” yet.

I suppose this is the bisexual equivalent of the monosexual perception that bisexuals are just going through a phase and haven’t made up our minds yet.

Gender in Bisexual Attraction

Although gender is not a limiting factor for bisexuals, it does sometimes play a role in bisexual attraction.

Some bisexuals that I know are attracted to women and men for gender-specific reasons. For instance, they like women because they see them as: easy to talk to, or nurturing, or soft and curvy; and they like men because they find them: straightforward, or more assertive, or hard and muscular (or some such gendered reasons).

So in this case, gender is part of the formula, but not a limiting factor.

Other bisexuals I have spoken with are also attracted to women and men differently, but they turn the previous specifications upside down. These bis say they find they like butch women and effeminate men. In a way this comes down to appreciating people to the extent that they escape genderedness.

But there are also many bis, such as myself, for whom gender has no place in the list of things that attract them to a person. For instance, I like people who are good listeners, who understand me and have interests similar to mine, and I am attracted to people with a little padding here and there, who have fair skin and dark hair (although I’m pretty flexible when it comes to looks).

“Male” or “female” are not anywhere to be found in the list of qualities I find attractive.

Monosexual Misconceptions

Bisexuals in the United States often experience hostility from lesbians and gay men, as in the incident described above. Lesbians and gay men, like heterosexuals, are often uncomfortable with breaking out of a dualistic way of looking at things.

Bisexuals blur boundaries thought to be fixed in stone, and this is disturbing.

Actually, bisexuals may appear to pose a more direct threat for lesbians and gay men than this general social disturbance. Lesbians and gay men who a in our society have almost always gone through a long process of leaving their family and heterosexual friends, as they leave the closet.

The community that rejected them is replaced by the one they join when they come out; the lesbian and gay community becomes their new family and friends, the place where they feel security and belonging.

Bisexuals who pop up in their new community blur its boundaries, making it feel less safe, less apart from the rejecting heterosexual community. Especially for those who believe that a bisexual has a fifty-fifty chance of finally choosing heterosexuality, a bisexual may well appear as the enemy within their midst.

Bisexuals often face misconceptions shared by lesbians, gay men, and heterosexual people. One of these is mentioned above: that bisexuals are confused people who havent made up their minds yet.

Undoubtedly some bisexuals are in a transitional phase between heterosexuality and homosexuality, but this is not necessarily so. And even when it is true, why should transition be seen as problematic?

Another common myth is that bisexuals are not committed to the struggle against queer oppression. Like many stereotypes, this may have some basis in reality. There are bisexuals who stay in the closet, who gravitate toward opposite gender relationships, marriage, and whatever else it takes to fit in.

Of course, many gay men and lesbians also never make it out of the closet. In fact, the lesbian and gay movement has always included bisexuals. Some have been openly bi, while others haven’t felt it worth the struggle to be open in the face of disapproval from the community that is so important to them.

Today, some bisexuals, like some gay men and lesbians, are not interested in getting involved in political struggle, but many others are very active within the queer community.

Another misconception is the idea that to be bisexual you must be sleeping with both women and men, and along with this, probably cheating on your partner. This is like saying that you cannot call yourself a lesbian (or gay, or straight) if you are single and celibate.

I believe that you’re bisexual (homosexual, heterosexual) if that’s what you call yourself. Your orientation stays the same, you still feel attraction, whatever your current actions.

Now it’s true, there are bisexuals who feel more fulfilled if they have relationships with a woman and a man. Some of these may have an agreement with their partner(s), and some not, but bisexuals are not the only sexual orientation where unorthodox relationships can be found, or where some cheat on their partners.

Bisexual Oppression?

A lesbian once told me that bisexuals experience oppression only to the extent that we “are homosexual.” She used this as an argument for leaving the name “bisexual” off titles of marches, community centers, newspapers, etc.

Who is included in group names has been a controversy for years (going back at least to the time when including the word “lesbian” was controversial because “gay” could supposedly count for both).

I don’t agree that bisexuals face only homosexual oppression. It’s true that when we are in same-sex relationships, one of the things we experience is heterosexism (and also, in our opposite sex relationships we do not as directly face the oppression gay men and lesbians face, although if we are openly bisexual we never completely escape heterosexism).

However, bisexuals confront forms of oppression that lesbians and gay men do not. Bisexual oppression includes compulsory monosexuality and the invisibility that is a result of monosexism. We are made invisible when people can’t conceive of sexual attraction that isn’t tied to one gender or the other, thereby denying our existence.

Even face to face, there is nothing about us that says we’re bisexual—if we’re with the same gender it’s assumed we’re lesbian/gay, and we must be straight if our partner is of the opposite gender.

Unless we happen to be holding hands and kissing a woman and a man simultaneously, an either/or way of seeing things means most people will automatically categorize us as either homosexual or heterosexual. This is monosexism at work.

In recent years some things have changed for bisexuals in the United States. We have started to find each other and form organizations and small communities. Conferences happen regularly in different parts of the country, and a national network exists.

Books about bisexuals multiply, as we tell our stories and develop theories about how we fit in. Much to the discomfort of some lesbians and gay men, we have been increasing the pressure to have our presence within the queer community acknowledged.

It seems inevitable that we will have an impact on how the people of this country view sexuality. Will this go further and affect the fundamental tendency toward dualistic categorizing, the either/or mindset?