#found on google so idk the cred

[texaschainsawmascara]

Wristcutters: A Love Story

[sweetbee0108]

i have a question

so i suppose the gif i found on google to add to a post is now 'mine' ? i got a notif that someone used it. this feels icky bc i did not make it and i dont know who did. how can i credit it? i think i can find the creator if i looked on google real hard but idk how to cred on here.

idfk plz help

[ruminate88]

Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma (cred. Google)

PTSD

Depression.

Anxiety.

Dissociation.

Difficulty concentrating.

Emotional dysregulation

Trust and relationship issues

Physical pain and gastrointestinal issues.

😭😭😭😭 I weigh 102 lbs and my food barely digest plus I struggle to gain weight. I’m figuring out why I’m so disconnected in my marriage and at first I blamed him for it 😔 cuz he wouldn’t go to church with me, I thought “oh he doesn’t love me or support me, could he be using me just like Andrew” ugggh I knew nothing about emotional abuse or betrayal trauma back then. I knew I couldn’t stop obsessing over Andrew and I was ashamed of myself.

“Emotional dysregulation” gosh my emotions change all the time every day. Some days I wake up just feeling nothing. I have feared that I’m gonna hurt my husband 😭 afraid I’ll run back to Andrew because I feel I lost so much in Andrew and I want it back. I wanna take back my trust and my ability to love unconditionally. Truly, Cody is the one who stole most of that but idk it was awfully easy to accept Andrew despite being traumatized by cody. I feel like it all was just happening so fast I didn’t get to process anything. After all, it was only 5 months after Cody ghosted me that I met Andrew and I didn’t “catch feelings” for Andrew till we had spent a summer together. (Andrew was grooming me anyway, getting me pliable so he could mold me into his prey) 🥴🥺😭💀❤️‍🩹

I know the reason I originally trusted my husband so fast was because I was desperate to find a “safe place to land”. My husband just seemed almost too nice to be true. He cried whenever I talked about past relationships and friendships so I believed he cared… I just couldn’t feel him or anything 😓 I knew my husband could give me the life I always dreamt of which was “marriage and kids” but wasn’t long after we were married that I felt the “disconnect” and I felt the aftermath of my last two relationships. It’s like now that I found a safe space to deal with everything, I begin to go on this weird journey. Some reason I feel I’m alone with just God and my husband can’t go on this journey with me cuz he’s the not the one needing healing. He doesn’t have anything to be traumatized for!!

It’s not that I don’t feel safe in talking to my husband or family about what I went through, I feel ashamed and like they won’t fully understand or that they’ll all say “just get over it, that was many years ago” AND I don’t want to back myself into a corner where I regress more. Last night it was on the tip of my tongue to ask my husband if he thinks anything is wrong with me but he acts like nothing is wrong… which makes me question possibly this is his “normal” ??? I mean, when I first met him, all I talked about was cody and Andrew so much he had to ask me to please stop talking about them 😓❤️‍🩹 (if only he understood) I couldn’t explain emotional abuse back then or tell him I felt “betrayed”. I also wonder if there’s more to uncover from the past… idk. ONE DAY AT A TIME 🙏🏻❤️‍🩹

I wrote this song “Grieving The Illusion” about the betrayal trauma I endured:

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

PEACOCKS!?!?!? HOLY SHIT- (side note but have you ever heard one of them? They're so loud!! There's someone down the road from where I live who owns a small flock of them and they wander around up and down the highway. They walked into the parking lot of a local barbecue joint My family was eating at one evening and we all gawked at them from the safety of our car. My parent said that it sounds like they're screaming for help.) Peacocks being symbols of beauty, protection, new beginnings, power, divinity... (at least from my brief Google search)

The radio clock reminds me for some reason of the first couple of seasons? ...wait. i know why. It's the logo. I'm thinking of the god damn logo.

It's also reminding me of the pocket watch from Fullmetal Alchemist. It serves as a reminder after all. I'm guessing 11:45 is the time that Ben was found/announced dead? Damn. Damn Juno that's fucked up. That's heavy and fucked up.

Awwww his silly ones are cute. And his self harm strikes a chord with me. Its... deeply personal. I understand. Juno carries so much baggage in this universe, he feels so heavy to me. Smth smth- disco elysium "I just want to get worse" or other. I hope the best for Juno ofc but just. Damn. Damn...

Smth about Juno always knowing the exact location where he can see his brother again, and Benzaiten has a promise that Juno will be back again sometime soon.

A LANTERN ON HIS STERNUM YO THATS SICK AS FUCK I FUCKING DIG IT

The way my eyes popped out and my lashes fluttered reading "ahem, other places" LMFAOOOO

"Don't let him hit you" this sign can't stop me because I can't read! *proceeds to get Juno Steel to punch me in a "fuck around and find out" type of manner* What happens?

Rita being a mechanical doll with tattoos and piercings is immensely adorable. There's smth or other there that I can't quite explain or put my finger on about actual dolls (like Barbie) being clean plastic with no piercings, versus Rita is machinery and technology, a walking talking computer, a mechanical doll with visible circuits and animated tattoos and neon glowy jewelry. (I've got 3 pairs of earrings that remind me of Rita: simple plastic daisies, glow in the dark translucent rubber duckies, and dangly dinosaurs linked together in a chain. Idk they all speak to me as "RITA!")

Rita's age will forever remain a mystery to all. A Rita never reveals her secrets ;) AND OH OH OH THE PLATE ON HER CHEST AND ABDOMEN IS GOOD SO GOOD!!! very stimming. Could get lost staring at her chest for hours. ("My eyes are up here" kinda moment as I watch the blues and greens swirl around)

Where did Peter get the creds from for his tattoos?

"Breeding like rats" kekekek- I mean. He ain't wrong. Invasive species of invasive species over here lol.

Have I mentioned that Peter's so pretty? Bc wowowowo he's so pretty. I love it when antler or horned characters have things decorating their antlers/horns. It's so personal. It's like saying "these are important to me, I cherish them, I value them" AND THEN OFC JUNO THINKS ABOUT HACKING THEM OFF AAUUUGHHHHHH

A lot of this universe I'm just now realizing is about perception. And isn't that what monsters are all about? Perception. What makes a monster a monster, if not how they're perceived. The Warden percieved as a face of authority. Lady Luck pulling on the face of Fate. Peter wearing his human skin to blend in. There's dots to be drawn here to this and Monster's Reflection, I'm a little too tired to be making them tho atm.

And oooooo! "Fate is very very cruel" parallels to the "big mean world" quotes from canon

Okokok, thank you for explaining what being blessed means!

MICK!!! I wanna sob I love him so much. Smth about that mental image you put in my brain of him looking down/looking back at his life and questioning it. He's such a nervous yet cheery and optimistic person in canon that having him be as thoughtful and reflective in your au is so- depressing(!?) to me. Its like the universe loves him so it made him its special little guy, but the whispers are like the school yard bullies or smth, "freak freak freak unnatural freak". Idk- Micks situation to me speaks levels. It catches my attention.

M'tendere to the Ruby7 is like me to my cat. "Are you sad? Are you hungry? Are you mad at me? What are you thinking about? Do you ever worry about your future? Do you miss your mother? Do you remember having one?" Meow. "Very insightful."

I love love love love the idea that the supernatural are manifestations of fear and beliefs. Adds more fuel to the fire that this universe is based on perception. If you fear something, if you believe in something, you're giving it the means to exist. You're giving it power.

Inside of me exist a Juno Steel Warrior Cats-esq au where he is just a grumpy old tomcat. Just a disgruntled thing that doesn't like being picked up and makes a fuss but instantly purrs when Rita scratches behind his ear. (Will I ever divulge or explore this more? Probably not!)

SMALL FRY!!! I blame my newfound obsession for Small Fry on Kit (kitsuna21), the 36Q au uses Small Fry in place of a duck/Henry and in writing Juno's interactions with her I've grown very attached. Smth smth- old patreon supporter named "This is my Contribution to Small Fry's College Fund" (I had to REALLY dig to find my old post about the names of the patreon supporters, my god it's been a while)

Other Questions: hypothetically, if Juno were to see the Warden, what would it's appearance be? (Also it's just now striking me that for Ben to perceive the Warden as Juno dressed as a cop and that's Ben's authority- y'ouch. Ouch. Ouch. It hurts. It hurts on so many levels.) What kind of person/people be out here giving all sorts of beings magical tattoos? What was Peter's latest heist like? Grims Mask equivalent or something else?

Hey! So, uh, I have some more stuff for the fae-hunter jupeter au, if you'd like to hear it? Regarding some more about the background and things and the other characters and also some intrusive thoughts Juno has regarding the cannibalism?

Oh fuck yeah babey lay it on me. This is the best Steel Twin Birthday Present and no other holiday or event going on irl I could've woken up to ever! And also does it mean anything if I say I have more thoughts on my monster hunter au bc I have a lot of new thoughts about it

[opossum-cult]

I am going to hell for this but it will have been worth it

anyway im gonna be making an utmv homestuck au because when you think about it theyre the same thing except i havent finished homestuck so i dont really know what im doing but im trying my best

ink is by @/myebi btw

also the little god tier thing is an edited version of a sprite of a mage of space sprite i found when i looked it up on google so i didnt draw that 💯💯 creds to like andrew hussie or whoever drew it idk it was from pinterest

[boisei]

if you ever need motivation to do anything

inspired by @wlwkarazorel after telling me to do it for canon supercorp

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[ynsimagines]

IDK who the person in the pic actually is I just found her on google so creds to her. Let me know If you think my portrayal of Liv is accurate.

[celest1all]

Rage Is The Sound Of Love

PAIRING / dean winchester x fem!reader

SUMMARY / dean gets pissed at the reader for being reckless on the hunt, but what was he exactly annoyed about?

WARNINGS / angst, swearing, mentions of blood, anger, kissing, illusions to sex, my writing, idk.

AUTHORS NOTE / angry dean is, and always will be, my kink.

[Gifs aren't mine!!! Got them off Google so creds to them <33]

One of the many, many ways you could tell that Dean was annoyed was by his face. His face held every emotion -- every thought that he couldn't say, or couldn't bring himself to say.

For example; Dean had a habit of clenching his jaw so hard that had you wondering how his teeth didn't snap. Also, his eyes would also send a glare that could a hundred percent kill its recipient if they were able to you.

And that 'recipient' just happened to be you. But he wasn't just a teeny bit annoyed, he was enraged. Boiling, seeing red, rage.

Why was he so pissed at you? Well, you were being reckless which, quite obviously, isn't a good thing to be in your line of work (if being a hunter is even qualified to be a job, since you technically weren't being paid).

The case was supposed to be easy, just a few vamps that you would kill and then you would return back to the bunker and all would be well, right?

Wrong.

Apparently, the 'few' vamps turned out to be a nest. Even though Cas had joined you on this case, you were still outnumbered; thirteen to four.

And when you're outnumbered, shit hits the fan...or blood hits the wall, in this case. Your blood, more specifically.

Thankfully, between the four of you, you had managed to gank all the blood sucking freaks but not before one of them had managed to turn your machete around on you, causing you to slice your leg open.

Cas, being the angel of the Lord that he is, he was able to heal you -- not before giving you a disapproving shake of his head.

Sam, on the other hand, was just glad you were okay. You were like a sister to him and you were alive, that was all that mattered.

You just wished that's how Dean felt.

Upon entering the Men of Letters bunker, the first thing that hit you was just how cold it was; similar to how Dean was being to you.

You knew for a fact that Dean -- perhaps Cas aswell -- was going to yell at you for your behaviour, but your leg being sliced and then being healed had done a number on you.

So, you went straight to your room and threw yourself on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was peaceful, kind of. You could still feel the blade piercing through your skin on your leg every so often, and it hurt like a bitch. Logically, you knew that your leg was now fine, but that didn't stop you from checking every so often.

A few minutes had passed before your peace was rudely ripped away from you by someone barrelling into your room.

"Uh, what the fuck?" You cursed, lifting your head up to see who the intruder was. When you saw who it was, you fell back against your bed in a huff. "Go away."

"No." His gruff voice replied, annoyance lacing his tone.

"This my room, Winchester. I can kick you out if I want to." You stated, flipping him off from where you were splayed.

"I need to talk to you." Now that got your attention, but not enough for you to move.

"Y/N." He stated plainly, causing you to roll your eyes and lean on your elbows to look at him.

"You said you needed to talk to me, so talk." You stared at him, waiting to him to explain. During the beat of silence, you took the time to examine his features. You had always found him attractive, every woman and man would've, but you didn't realise just how attractive he was. Although, you could still tell he was annoyed by the subtle tick to his jaw.

"What you did was stupid," He crossed his arms over his chest and used the tone of voice that always oozed authority, "and beyond careless."

You rolled your eyes once again, but didn't interrupt. "And if Cas wasn't there, then -- "

"But Cas was there."

Dean glared at you slightly before carrying on. "What I'm saying is; you could have gotten yourself killed."

You got up and stood in front of the six foot one, dark blond man. "I didn't, though. Shouldn't that account for something?"

Dean's eyes flicked across your face, chuckling dryly. "Do you really not get it?"

You could feel your face scrunch up in confusion, "Get what?"

"You could've died!" He reiterated, arms flailing about to emphasise his point. "You could've died before I was able to tell you that --"

Dean cut himself off with a heavy sigh, shaking his head and began turning around to head out your door.

You stood there, wide eyed before your body moved infront of his, effectively blocking him from the exit. You put your arms on either side of the door frame as your eyes stared into his. "Finish the sentence."

He shook his again and tried to move you, "Winchester, I swear if you don't finish that goddamn sentence then I will make Rowena hide a hex bag somewhere in your room!" You demanded, fists clenched.

"Rowena?"

"Seriously? That's all you got from that?" You asked. "We're good friends, but that's not the point! I'm not letting you leave this room until you finish what you were about to say." You breathed heavily, getting more annoyed by the second. Oh, how the tables have turned.

You watched Dean's face, his mouth slowly forming into a smirk. "How about I show you, sweetheart?"

You frowned, the annoyance leaving your body to make room for confusion. "How can you show me the end of a sent--hmph." Dean's lips crashed onto yours, swallowing your words.

It took you a few seconds to reciprocate the kiss due to surprise, but you did nonetheless. The kiss was full of everything; rage, fear, love and adoration.

By the time you both pulled away, you were gasping for oxygen, smiles gracing yours two's lips. "Woah, okay. Wasn't expecting that."

"You told me to finish my sentence, but you didn't tell me how to finish it." Dean shrugged, smirking once again.

"I guess you're not pissed at me, now?" You questioned, smiling at him.

"Oh no, I'm still pissed." He stated, and you could feel your face drop. "But I guess we're just going to have to find a different way to channel that rage."

Your eyes widened in understanding. Apparently, you were going to be in for a long night.

[jitteryjamborees]

So I have frequent infatuations and my recent one is Miley Cyrus and her song poison.

Here are my mad-woman ramblings into the void.

(Givee it a listen the link is right there)

(via https://open.spotify.com/track/2Oycxb8QbPkpHTo8ZrmG0B?si=rA7PcgrKQKiWcJGg4e_Y1g)

Now I am in no means a Long Lived Die Hard Fan.

What I am tho is gay trash whose a sucker for a good mullet and a sexy ass voice singing a sexy as banger song.

So obviously the release of her album was phenomenal and her songs are great. Now I haven't listened to her music since my elementary phase where I was obsessed with Hannah Montana and my middle school phase where I felt beyond empowered by her talking about heartbreak half naked on a wrecking ball. Looking back that might have been my big fat crush from a repressed gay but hey hindsight is always 20/20.........ANYWAY!

As I was making my sister watch her the Prisoner Music video (More on that in a bit) it dawned in me that I am absolutely in love with this woman. Its like have I come full circle? Is it cuz im progressing so this is just the natural next step? Is it the mullet? Is it the raspy voice? Honestly? could very well all the above.

Also lets just take a break to look at her.

Fucking BEAUTIFUL, my gay little heart ant take it I love the outfits I want them I want to embody the STRENGTH AND POWER this woman emulates im fucking OBSESSED.

I mean the song is an absolute banger you kidding me? The fucking music slaps the lyrics are great her voice is great whats not to love. Now we must tackle the elephant in the room. That fucking music video was the biggest queer baiting shit I have seen. I mean there has always been more obvious cases like I mean the whole supernatural thing or ...well that's the only thing I can think of rn lol I know what a terrible gay I am.

Regardless Miley and Dua Lipa feeling each other up in fishnets and like almost kissing sorry but no one can tell me that shit aint gay or gay adjacent. and the only reason i say this is queer baiting is cus we all know Miley is pansexual, well we don't all I just found out after a quick google search, i also found out Dua Lipa is not, but shes a big ally.

Now on the opposite side of that coin we can say its not queer baiting at all cuz Miley is fullly gay so yknow *shrug* . Hey I mean who cares its phenomenal and im absolutely fucking gobbling it up.

But yes that's it for this weeks infatuations, I shall be shouting into the void some more later on this is kinda fun lol

Creds below :-

In Order of appearance from the top ( found all these photos from articles idk who the original photographer is)

1- Logo made on wix logo maker

2-https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/miley-cyrus-drops-new-song-midnight-sky-watch-the-music-video/

3-https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/nov/29/miley-cyrus-plastic-hearts-review

4-https://oaklandpostonline.com/33416/opinion/miley-cyrus-heart-of-glass-cover-awakens-new-love-for-rock/

5-https://www.pmstudio.com/music/music.html?page=20201120-12539

[agri-art-archive]

SCA Adventures in Heraldry, pt.1

~Hang on folks, this is gonna be a long one~ So recently, meaning back in January, I joined the (one and only) local Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) rapier combat group. At first, I thought it was just fencing. I had no idea what I was getting into- it was recommended by a friend, also in this group, who knew I thought it was modern fencing. This friend decided not to enlighten me, and once I got to my first meet. Well. Safe to say, I was surprised. 

(gif from giphy)

SCA Rapier Combat, it turns out, is not modern fencing.  Its more... Princess Bride-sy. 

It was AWESOME. I got so many bruises. So many. But it was all worth it. It continues to be amazing. Tuesdays are my favorite days due to this new sport. I own my own goddamn sword. Anyhow I digress, a big part of the SCA is the persona you build within the Society. You need a name, a region (country, etc), and a time period- anywhere between the year 600 to 1600- as well as some more optional things such as a detailed history and a personal coat of arms.  As a fan of Arting as a whole, the prospect of delving into Heraldry and making my own coat of arms is very appealing. 

Except, I’m somewhat of a perfectionist and very sentimental. I’m also indecisive as hell. 

Choosing a Charge (the plant, animal, building, human or human bit, symbol etc on one’s shield ((disclaimer, what I know here is basically the result of nights spent googling instead of studying, so if I’m wrong, please tell me))) was and continues to be very difficult. Because it will be a symbol representing Me, as a sword fighter and person in the SCA, for years to come.  Choosing everything else will come after- I already know most of what I want to put on the rest of my device, my motto (Towards Sea over Snow, hehehe) and my colours. 

But the charge is personal, symbolic, and very important to the whole. 

Anyhow, the point of this post and all the ones like it in the future is to document the development of my charge, because I’m not stopping ‘till I draw one that’s just right. 

Finally, to finish off with all this introductory stuff- here’s Agrimony-Art’s SCA Adventures in Heraldry, pt.1: The Alphyn, Rampant Regardant

Now, according to wikipedia (great source, I know), the Alphyn has no particular symbolism as a heraldic charge. That’s ok, the SCA doesn’t really care about symbolism and neither did the time period they use (apparently, again, dubious sources of knowledge here- apart from the fact this was a comment made by our Heraldry master/manager/person to ask- but still). However, the page (which can be found here-> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alphyn ) does mention they were once described as being used as “judges” in ye olden chess game, instead of bishops. That’s pretty cool, but I’m not a good judge of anything (especially if my friends comments about my funny puns are anything to go by). Except desserts. I am quite good at judging desserts.

Anyhow!

The Alphyn piqued my interest mainly because, well, its a mofo wolf dragon!

(This is the picture on Wikipedia, creds to whoever drew it, I wish I could find you my dude)

Lookit! She’s gorgeous. Apparently it’s tail is also knotted, which I would like to believe means a promise kept, or a vow- maybe she always keeps it’s word. Who knows? That’s my opinion. Apart from that the Alphyn is a draconic wolf, with a long tail, and I love creature designs with long tails, dragons, and wolves- so she’s a perfect match.  Now I want to make it my own, with a different Attitude (which I believe is the position of the Charge) and in my own style.  After little debate, I chose my preliminary three favorite attitudes (all pictures from on this wikipedia page-> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attitude_(heraldry) ):

The Rampant Regardant:

The Passant Regardant:

The Sejant Erect:

I am so, so sorry for those of you on mobile devices. IDK why the pics are so large ok. I did warn this was gonna be a long-haul post.

Anywho. For pt. 1 I chose to do a “rough/clean idea” of my Alphyn, à la Rampant Regardant. 

It was an annoying start.

And it continued to be so, maybe because I’m unused to the stiff posture of Heraldic Charges? The front dragon arms annoyed me from minute 1.

The knotted tail was also an issue. Thank you google, for easy access to sailor knots. I believe this is the figure 8? Took me a solid bit to figure out how the hell to draw it. Proof provided.

Don’t even mention the fur. Or the front arms. Also, excuse the mess of solid black lines, that was for a later layer and I just... Idk. 

Lemme just say, Thank Mae for firealpaca and photoshop in general’s Transform Tool. First the dragon feet were too big, then the head, then the knot didn’t look right, then the raised back foot, then the ears, and the head, and the neck, and the dragon feet, and the mane, and the head, and the knot, and the dragon feet.... did I mention the fucking head.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

I stopped here, because I did not feel like doing another layer, and I felt this was good enough for a “rough/clean idea”. Can you tell I gave up by the time I got to the tail? I can. 

There’s just.... something inherently annoying about this piece. Maybe if I spent more time on it, refined it and added more deets, it would look better. Maybe. Who knows. 

But something about it, specifically from the waist up, annoys and irritates my very non-existent soul. No matter what I do, the head just.... looks too big. Too wrong. 

I’m going to restart.

Anyhow, this was SCA Adventures in Heraldry pt.1, one of my personal, non-novel/webcomic related projects. I hope this painful process was enjoyable, till next time.

[inosukskskske]

wip list

i'll organise it by fandom and pairing and make it look pretty later (doubtful)

Genshin Impact

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush (what but worth is a bird in the hand of a ghost) - diluc/kaeya ghost au

a whale of a time - anisa/kumi tooth rotting fluff

absolute zero - kaeya/albedo ficlet

an ode to dawn - kaeya/diluc angst

as the world caves in - diluc/kaeya canon divergence - war au

field of dandelions (wishing on every one) - kaeya/diluc bittersweet pining

glimpse of us - kazuha/tomo angst

if you give someone a dream (you defend it to the end) (childe3)

if you make a mistake (you apologise) (childe2)

if you make a promise (you keep it) (childe1)

i'm gonna hurt you so much (dilucsad)

lord of misrule (ventixmas)

mi muhe ye (kaelucshort)

one man's demon is another man's angel (xiaoaetherfluff)

spoonerisms; kaeya is a liar (klkdrabble)

star light, star bright (the last star i'll see tonight) (klkmurdermystery)

the only time his hair atrocity is allowed is when kaeya cuts it off dramatically (kaeyalovelock)

title idk yet (tarutaruassassins)

BOTW

(i know you) once upon a dream - sidon/link affectionately named sidonk bonk bonk

pearl necklaces (pearljizz)

Jujutsu Kaisen

alexandria's genesis - gojo/geto crack + smut

heart (got teeth) - gojo/geto demon au ft satoru the monsterfucker

vestiges (sukunayuujihurt)

zinnias in the sun (satosugusoulmates)

Haikyuu!!

an ace, a captain and a setter all walk into a bar - asahi/daichi/sugawara smut

dont know about forever (but i know about tonight) - iwaizumi/oikawa fake dating au

google, how many balls to the head is too many? - iwaizumi/oikawa fluff

hikariare - kenma/hinata wedding au

it may not be to shiratorizawa but he's definitely coming (cred: ash) (ushiiwaoi(?)crack)

shorelines (bokuakasingleparent)

written with the same character as 'hachiko' - for loyalty; devotion (yandereyams)

Anonymous Yamaguchi Tadashi, Countenance in stone, n.d. (stoneyamatsukki)

Naruto

an end in full bloom - naruto/sasuke hanahaki

black and blue - sasuke/naruto enemies? to friends to lovers

he is beauty, he is grace, he likes his brother's best mate?!?? - madara/tobirama crack

hey, brother - narutoverse found family study

i want the you who wants me again - sasuke/naruto timeloop au

in my memories (we're young again) (snsangst)

inkling (sainarusoft)

o' swear (not by the moon) (snspining)

the heir and the spare (snsfantasy)

waifs and ragamuffins (kakairunarufam)

OTHER FANDOMS

coup de grace - zoro/sanji

if i only could (make a deal with god) - elric brothers study

BNHA

light fades to rain (bkdkalt)

novocaine confession (use it at your discretion) (denkihitoproheropining)

SVSSS

there's someone in the mirror that you don't know (shenjiumodernisekai)

you're my fifth season (liushenonesided)

[orangesideirrational]

Here, have some wip bird brain fake bird wing project thingy

Idk either

Here, have it with various different stages of unhinged, so you can (maybe) see what it means

Al is the atomic symbol of aluminium, btw.

Im a nerd.

Full creds to the of artist of that thingy, btw. I didn't draw it, and idk who did, I found it on Google.

I am writing this at 1 am, I am very sorry.

Feel free to ask questions about any of it. I will answer because I'm starved of positive human interaction

So yeah

Im sorry about this... Whole thing.

[alien-bodies]

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell​ tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown​ and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now. 

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco. 

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d  u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

[jjkfire]

Bangtan Pics Tour Guide!

So there’s this amazing twitter user: @deokutour who identifies and tweets about the places where bangtan has taken pics at e.g: their hyyh jacket photoshoots, mv locations, twitter pics and etc. Here’s the full detailed list on Google Maps. Below is a compilation of the places (Only one in America and the rest are in Korea!) which are relatively easy/alright to get to or have been visited by previous ARMYs.

America Hamilton Park, Weehawken, New Jersey | BTS tweet

Korea Prologue Video, SNU Abandoned Swimming Pool | Pic creds 1, 2, 3 Directions on how to get there in English (scroll to the bottom)

Apparently the place has been further vandalized so ): It looks like this now:

(View the pic creds for more pics!!)

Seonjaedo

OP’s directions to get to Seonjaedo

and OP recommends that you check this website if you want to know at what time the low tide is

P.S: The place where V jumps off the scaffolding thingy is here

(to see it from where I took the screen caps from in google maps, click here)

HYYH pt. 2 Jacket, Incheon, Pic creds: 1, 2

Hwansang Forest, pic creds

HYYH PT 1 Jacket, Gyeongju, pic creds

The place where the below picture is shot is about 20+ mins from the place above but no one so far has posted pics of them going there so idk? plus it only looks like that in spring hahaha. Gyeongju

looks amazing on google images tho

HYYH On Stage: Epilogue Teaser and War of Hormone MV, Paju English Village

I NEED U MV

V walking in the corridors of the apartment building (0:53-0:57), Dongdaemun Apartments

OP said that many people do visit this place to take pics so i guess it’s legit. (a scene from the movie Hide and Seek was also filmed here) but do keep in mind that it’s an apartment so people actually you know live there so please be respectful! OP also mentioned that the building has undergone renovation so the exterior looks different? This other picture taken in July 2016 shows that they repainted the walls so yeah (scroll towards the bottom)

Hoseok’s Bridge (2:01-2:03), Dongho Bridge

Food Fight Scene (BTS Episode, I Need U MV Shooting (1:20-1:23), Hongdae, Pic creds

RUN MV

(3:15, 3:43 and 4:52), Nodeul, Han River | Pic creds

OP says that this place is relatively difficult to find (took her 30 mins) You’re supposed to go to Nodeul Vegetable Garden and go before it closes at 6.30 pm!

(4:59), North Side of Banpo Bridge, Han River 

OP showing the distance from the location relative to Hoseok’s Bridge in I NEED U

Twitter Pics

Seoul Forest, Pic creds

Hannam-Dong The address given by OP cannot be found on google maps but it’s in the UN Village area, in front of house no. 150 I think?

Konkuk University, Pic creds

FOR YOU MV, Pic creds 1, 2

Wolmido Culture Street, Incheon

Incheon

OP recommends you visit the HYYH pt.2 Jacket locations that are in Incheon along with the locations in the FOR YOU MV as they are close by

Special Mentions -other locations that I think are cool but I’m too lazy to attach the pics. Also, they’re not in Seoul and may be difficult to get to.

That one Hobi bf look pic you always see in moodboards 1, 2 Agust D Give it to me MV location 1, 2 Other HYYH pt.2 Jacket pics 1 Young Forever Jacket Location 1, 2

Again, check OP’s masterlist under the RM의 아이폰.jpg to visit all the places Namjoon usually recommends to go to on twitter like that “Silver Grass” Skypark or Seoul World Cup Stadium (these two places are pretty close to each other). Oh and this “bookstore” he was at but it’s actually a cafe and ya know Tteukseom because Reflection was written there.

OP also listed the places they went to in Bon Voyage!!!