#found a new favorite store at the center but i have to be very careful there

[themuseoftheviolets]

TRINKETS

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Fatigued [Spencer x Reader]

Photo Credits: Left (@foxy-eva) Center (@flowersforfrancis) Right (@s0undmybarbaricyawp)

Prompt: The reader has made one New Year’s Resolution this year, get out more. Spencer is happy to help her with this, but tonight the reader just seems too tired to want to do that. However, Spencer is flexible and is happy to change plans to let the reader rest. 

Pairing: Spencer x Non-BAU!fem!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns. 

Category: fluff/comfort 

Word Count: 3.3K

Content Warnings:  Use of nicknames [sweetheart, love, etc.] someone passes away of old age [minor character]. 

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge. The prompt was Character swears that this year they were going to definitely fulfill their New Year's Resolutions. I really just wanted to write a soft, domestic Spencer fic. The start of the semester just makes me tired, so this was also inspired by my own fatigue. I hope all my tired girlies can relate! If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading.  Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_y/l/n_ = your last name

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 

_y/c/e_ = your color eyes

_y/f/i/b_ = your favorite indy band 

_y/f/j_ = your favorite jewelry 

_y/e/c_ = your eye color 

_y/b/t_ = your body type 

_y/f/r_ = your favorite restaurant 

_y/n_ stood in front of the mirror. The _y/f/c_ dress looked as good as it always did, but she didn’t feel like she normally did when it was on. Usually, the short hemline and and scooped neck brought out a confidence in _y/n_ that made her excited for the night ahead, but right now she was just tired. _y/n_ put her head in her hands and let out a sigh. _y/n_ had made one New Year’s Resolution this year, and that was to do more things in the city. _y/n_’s day job kept her cooped up for a good bit of the day, and sometimes on the weekend. The fast transfer to D.C. had been a blessing and a curse. She had met her very loving and supportive boyfriend because of the move. That was the best thing to ever come from a relocation in her life. However, _y/n_ knew she wasn’t great with making friends or having the energy to want to do much outside of spending a quiet night with Spencer in his or her apartment. The fact that _y/n_ kept so isolated was the reason she’d met Spencer. Although _y/n_ didn’t have much energy for friends, she did make time to volunteer. _y/n_ felt that it was important to give back to whatever community she was in. Even if it was something small. 

When _y/n_ had moved, she found out that she lived close to a hybrid hospital and assisted living facility. She would see the older ladies in groups sometimes coming back from the shops the short five-minute walk from the store. She’d stopped and helped a lady with her bag, and they’d struck up a conversation in no time. Eileen had talked about how she’d lived in Sherwood Community Living for five years and then asked _y/n_ about herself. _y/n_ was happy to talk with Eileen. She often found talking to those older than her easier than people her age. When they reached the red brick building that was covered in trailing ivy, Eileen said, “You know I haven’t spoken with a young person in some time. I miss it since my kids have moved away.” There was a distant look in Eileen’s eyes before she said, “If you ever have a free afternoon and want to entertain an old lady like me, I’d love to see you again, dear.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “I’d like that, Eileen. I’ll call soon.” _y/n_ kept her word and visited Eileen and then started to know more people in the facility. She’d talk with the woman as they knitted, crocheted, or cross-stiched. Sometimes she’d paint people's fingers, with the hospital’s permission of course. There weren’t only old folks who lived in the space either. Some younger teens needed the constant care that their families simply couldn’t provide. For those kids, _y/n_ brought copies of Teen Vogue and books that she thought they might like. She assumed they might feel isolated without a peer group to hang out with. _y/n_ felt like she could relate to them in that way. 

One afternoon as _y/n_ was chatting with Eileen over some coffee, the door opened. _y/n_ had her back to it, but Eileen looked up. Her eyes widened slightly and the old woman raised a hand saying, “Dr. Reid, come over here for a second. I want you to meet my new friend.” _y/n_ flushed. She had told Eileen about her friend woes, so now she had been introduced to almost all of the staff. However, _y/n_ had never heard of Dr. Reid before. _y/n_ turned in her chair and felt even more flustered as the lanky man in a sweater vest and Converse walked toward them. He was cute. Spencer shot Eileen a smile and said, “Good afternoon Mrs. Henderson. How are you today?” Eileen beamed and said, “I’m good, thank you. I just wanted to introduce you to Miss _y/n_  _y/l/n_. It’s nice having some younger faces in here, you know. Lightens the mood.” Spencer nodded and looked over to _y/n_. He took a little breath in at just how pretty _y/n_ was. He took a moment before extending his hand, saying, “It’s nice to meet you, _y/n_. I’m Spencer Reid.” _y/n_ smiled and softly said, “It’s nice to meet you too.” She put her hand in his and they shook. Reid felt her delicate palm in his and his face reddened just a bit. When they dropped hands, _y/n_ plucked up her courage and said, “Do you work here Dr. Reid? I’ve never seen you before.” _y/n_ thought he looked slightly young to be a doctor as well, but didn’t voice that thought. She assumed he was around her age given his appearance. However, his clothes seemed to be trying to make him look older. _y/n_ came back to herself when she realized she was staring. This only caused _y/n_ to flush further. Spencer gave a small smile and said, “No, I don’t. I just come and visit now and then.” _y/n_ nodded in understanding. Reid looked at his watch and said, “Well, I’d better be going. Have a good day, Eileen, _y/n_.” Eileen waived from the table and said, “Take care of yourself, sweetheart.” Once Spencer had gone, _y/n_ sat back down and Eilneen said, “He’s a good one that Dr. Reid.” _y/n_ nodded and asked, “Who is he exactly?” Eileen took a moment, then a sip of her sweet tea before responding, “Oh someone like you, I suppose. He holds a chess club for some of the men. He also gives talks once in a while. They’re very interesting and on all sorts of stuff -- Lorca’s poetry, what’s happening in the Middle East, Boethius’s philosophy. He comes when he can, but he’s a busy young man. He has some dangerous job that takes him all places.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “Well, he sounds very accomplished.” Eileen smiled. She could see the look in _y/n_’s eye. Not wanting to push her luck, Eileen decided to go back to their previous conversation about the soap opera she was currently watching and how the silly character Leena was pissing her off. 

_y/n_ looked for Dr. Reid the next few times she visited her friends, but he wasn’t there. The line that Eileen had said about him having a busy, dangerous job stuck with her. _y/n_ wondered what his job was. She couldn’t picture him being a police officer or anything like that. _y/n_ considered looking him up on social media but decided not to. She always thought that was creepy. Eventually, Spencer did come back and everyone seemed happy to have him back. He gave her a wave as he passed her table which she returned with a small smile. Reid couldn’t help but notice her pupils dilate as she smiled at him. Later that afternoon, they both left around the same time. As fate would have it, it was raining pretty heavily and neither of them had brought umbrellas. _y/n_ leaned against the railing under the covered awning while Spencer tapped his foot in what might have been a nervous gesture. Not liking the silence, _y/n_ said jokingly, “You know if your gone that long again they might riot.” Spencer chuckled and moved over to the railing with her. He looked over at _y/n_ and said, “I think the same thing could be said about you and the ladies. Your name gets brought up a lot when I’m here and you’re not around.” _y/n_ flushed, but not from the cold. _y/n_ turned her face away for a moment before asking, “Do you know someone here or…” _y/n_ dropped the end of the sentence because she couldn’t think of another alternative. There was a small silence that lingered. _y/n_ worried that she had said something wrong. However, Spencer filled the silence and replied, “No. I just help out with some things, plan events and stuff.” Spencer looked out into the rain and then added, “My mom is in a facility like this, but she doesn’t live nearby. I find helping out here makes me feel better about not seeing her that often.” _y/n_ looked at Reid as he said this. He looked sort of sad. _y/n_ reached a hesitant arm out and placed it on his arm. Spencer turned his gaze to hers. He looked into _y/n_’s _y/c/e_’s as she said, “That’s very kind of you.” Just as _y/n_ said that the rain started letting up. Soon after that, they both went their own ways. 

After that encounter, _y/n_ and Spencer took a few minutes just catching up every time they saw each other at Sherwood. They just exchanged formalities, but it was nice for _y/n_ to talk to someone her age, even if it was just for a few minutes. Time passed as it always did and the seasons changed. Eileen, who had lived a full and happy life passed in the Spring, her favorite season. The ceremony was small and discrete. There were just a few family members at the memorial. The next day, when Eileen was laid to rest, _y/n_ was relieved when she saw Spencer arrive, even if he was late. It felt good to have someone she knew connected to Eileen. When the simple ceremony was over, Spencer could tell that _y/n_ was sad and asked, “_y/n_, would you like to get a coffee or a drink or something to celebrate Eileen’s memory?” _y/n_ sniffled a little and nodded yes. _y/n_ and Spencer ended up talking about how they had met Eileen and their favorite memories with her. There was laughter and a little bit of crying. That was when _y/n_ and Spencer really started to get to know each other, and when Spencer asked her if she’d like to hang out again, and she said yes, _y/n_ had a feeling that Eileen would be proud of her for taking a chance on someone. However, from what _y/n_ knew about Spencer, he was a pretty safe bet. Their relationship had moved on from there. It had moved slowly, but neither minded. Because of the cases Spencer went on, he had to make their dates work when they could. 

It had been three months since they had started dating and _y/n_ had met the team on a rare night that the BAU went out. There had been a lot of good-natured teasing from Morgan and a bit of coo-ing from Garcia. Other than that it was a fun and pleasant evening. It was nice for _y/n_ to meet the people who filled the stories that Spencer told her about his cases. The nature of Reid’s work did worry her, but she knew Spencer was the smartest man in any room. If something went wrong, she knew he had already weighed the odds for him and his team's best options. They had started spending more time in each other’s space, and he had been there when she had sworn to do one new thing a week in town as a Resolution. Spencer had upped the ante and said he’d take her to something nice once a month for their set date night. So far they had gone to an art museum and a concert of _y/f/i/b_. Tonight was supposed to be their third nice date on the town. The BAU’s cases had been lighter than usual. The cases that had popped up had been close to D.C. and didn’t take as long to solve. Thus, Spencer had been able to spend more time with _y/n_. He’d been intent on helping her reach her goal of doing more things in the city. He’d booked a reservation at a nice restaurant for them tonight. The place had a waitlist and if _y/n_ wasn’t so tired, she’d be very excited about it. But even as _y/n_ put _y/f/j_, she could feel the call of the bed or couch even now. _y/n_ was standing by the mirror longer than she had realized as Spencer let himself into her apartment. He called out from the front room, asking, “_y/n_, where are you?” _y/n_ replied, “In the bedroom, Spence.” Reid ambled into the room, stood behind _y/n_, and wrapped his lanky arms around her torso. _y/n_ tipped her head up as he kissed her forehead. Spencer loved to compliment _y/n_. He loved everything about _y/n_ from her _y/c/e_’s to your _y/b/t_ that was always the perfect place to give her gentle hugs. Spencer looked over _y/n_ in the mirror. She was wearing one of his favorite outfits of _y/f/c_ dress and her normal rings. He said softly, “You look so beautiful, _y/n_.” _y/n_ looked at her reflection and just said a small, “Hmm” in acknowledgment. She appreciated the compliment. She knew Spencer was always sincere in his words to her. Even though he could go on tangents, or delve into a topic about ten times more deeply, than a normal person, she knew he never exaggerated or over-intellectualized things for her sake. Spencer could see the faraway look in _y/n_’s eyes and the tone with which she had responded to him was different than her normal, chipper greetings, or even the way she got flustered when he showered her in compliments. Reid moved so that he was standing in front of her and asked gently, “_y/n_, are you alright? You sound a little distant?” _y/n_ sighed and said, “It’s really nothing Spencer,” Reid took her hands in his and said, “It doesn’t sound like nothing to me, _y/n_. Please tell me, even if you think it’s something small.” _y/n_ looked at him and replied, “I’m just so tired today. I feel exhausted and I don’t know why. I went to bed at my normal time and felt refreshed this morning, but now it’s like all the energy has been drained from my body. I know that sounds like a bad episode of Dr. Who or something, but I feel worn down. I want to be excited about tonight, I mean, I am excited about tonight, I just know I’d enjoy it more if I had some energy. Maybe I can chug a coffee or something before we go?” 

_y/n_ didn’t want to be a buzzkill, but even now, she was just thinking of kicking off her heels and crawling into bed. Spencer nodded slightly as said, “Sweetheart, we can cancel tonight and reschedule it. It makes sense that you’re tired, and I want you to have a good night no matter what we’re doing.” _y/n_ opened her eyes a bit wider in surprise. _y/n_ said, “Are you sure? I know those reservations were hard to get. I can perk up, I promise.” Spencer chuckled and said, “_y/n_, I love you, but you’re a terrible liar. I can see you aching for the bed, and you do look a bit tired.” _y/n_ flushed at Reid's ability to read her. She knew he was a profiler and all, but this skill still surprised her sometimes. Spencer smiled and placed his hand under her chin as he said, “I’m sure, _y/n_. Let me call the restaurant and let them know we can’t make it. Some other couple will be happy to have our spots. And how about I call _y/f/r_ to get some delivery?” _y/n_ nodded and said, “That sounds perfect, Spence. I’m just going to change into something more comfortable while you make those calls.” Spencer nodded and stepped out of the room to give _y/n_ some privacy to change. Even though they had been dating for a few months, _y/n_ was still a little hesitant to be fully undressed in front of Spencer. Those types of things took her time to get comfortable with. Spencer understood and respected those boundaries, and let _y/n_ set the pace for physical intimacy in their relationship. 

When _y/n_ had changed into some comfortable sweats and a loose t-shirt and put her heels back in the closet, she moved back into the living room. Spencer was on the couch pulling up their favorite show to watch while they waited for their food. _y/n_ nestled into his side, and he wrapped an arm around her. As the latest episode of the TV show they were watching at the moment started to play softly, _y/n_ asked Spencer, “Why did you say that it was understandable that I was tired? I can’t even figure it out myself.” Reid traced soft patterns on Eli’s side and replied, “I think it’s decision fatigue. People on average make 35,000 conscious decisions every day, and that’s not including things related to work or outside things like changes of plans or sudden new tasks thrown on top of everything else. So I think it’s natural that every few days or weeks people just feel tired. How couldn’t you? Your brain is doing so much work that we don’t even notice it. I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for everything we do. Also, don’t get me started on how humans aren’t designed to work the way we do today.” _y/n_ smiled at Reid’s intelligence. He always seemed to have a logical answer for everything, and she was comforted by it. The food soon arrived and they spent a quiet evening inside watching their comfort show and talking about what was happening in each other lives. Spencer pulled out a pint of ice cream from the freezer, and they didn’t even bother with bowls. Instead, they just used spoons to dip into the frozen cream mixture. When the night wrapped down, _y/n_ looked over at Spencer and said, “Would you stay here tonight? Having you here is so nice.” Spencer nodded yes. He knew that when he was gone on cases _y/n_ missed him badly. He knew because he missed her too. So any chance they got to spend time together, they did. After they’d both brushed their teeth and washed their faces in the bathroom sink, the couple settled under _y/n_’s covers. Spencer pulled her to his chest, and once she was settled, _y/n_ said, “Well. I already broke my only New Year’s Resolution to go out more,” with a chuckle. Spencer rubbed _y/n_’s back with his long fingers saying, “Well only about nine percent of Americans follow through with their resolutions, and twenty-three percent of people drop them by the first week. So I’d say statistically speaking almost making it to the end of January before giving up is a triumph. Besides, sometimes there are more important things to think about than New Year’s Resolutions. Like taking care of yourself and getting the rest you need.” _y/n_ flushed and said, “Well, when you put it like that, then I guess it’s not so bad after all.” Spencer nodded and said, “And there’s always time. We have the whole year in front of us to explore and go out.” There was a soft silence as they just breathed and enjoyed being next to each other in the bed. _y/n_ thought about the prospect of a whole year spent with Spencer and it warmed her from the inside. She smiled and said, “Thanks for being with me, Spencer. For spending your free time here doing nothing.” Reid kissed the top of her head, and just before _y/n_ fell into a deep sleep, she could hear him say, “It’s not nothing to me, love. And I’ll always be here.”

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[gyubby99]

Im sending an ask

You got it!

(also im writing this on a laptop cause why not?)

Emma had this day marked on her calendar. It was one of her most anticipated day, along with their anniversary, sinsmas, and Valentine's day. She never cared much about getting things for herself, she always had everything ever since she was "born" into this world. She always has the latest models and fashions of everything, thanks to the privilege she always had growing up as the heir of the most successful tech company, and all the close ties to different businessmen. Buying something for herself was like wanting more of everything that she could easily obtain herself for free-- so she decided to spend her money on more important matters, that being Theodore's birthday.

Emma had gone earlier. Thankfully, Theo didn’t suspect all that much on where she was going. It was now June 26th, but it was better to prepare earlier. She has everything under control so far, she just needs to be careful in keeping her surprise from him, because Satan forbids you spit out a single lie in front of his face. Wanting to surprise someone who can sense lies was like walking on eggshells every time, but she found herself liking a little challenge. The only issue when he finds out, is that he’s going to tell her that she’s wasting her money on him, and that he was fine. Of course, Emma won’t have any of that. For everything he’s done for her and is still doing for her, he deserves to be spoiled, especially on his birthday. 

Emma had decided to give him a new pair of shoes, a suit for formal occasions, and the latest Vwatch to match with his phone that her father got for him. She also has a bucket list of the things they would be doing while she occupies most of his time on that day. She figured they’d go to his favorite restaurant, shop at his favorite store, and she’s still on the fence of renting out the said restaurant for the whole night for dinner. She even talked to Aponi about the diner where they’d have a romantic, sweet little breakfast. She already agreed to babysit Peanut, Froggie, and their frog pond while they were away from home. Mal was going to take care of both her brothel and Aponi’s bar, which they liked to call, “Mal and ‘Poni’s performance center” as you will. Her father also promised to take care of the tech company for the day, and told her to send her husband greetings and regards.

She went to the mall first, looking down at her phone as she checked the list of things she would purchase today. 

“Okay.. shoes and.. Suit! I wonder how many suits I wanna buy for him..” She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, depends how many I find him hot on.” she put her phone back in her pockets. ‘Nailed it, Em. Just use your imagination.’ She thought to herself before pondering on his foot size. 

“Wasn’t it nine inches?” she asks herself, before her eyes widened and she gasped. “Wrong foot size.”

She went to walk to the store anyway after remembering his actual foot size. She checked out all of the shoes in different sizes, styles and of course, he gets the most expensive one. The way she pictured him with a shiny black pair of shoes and the suit she’ll pick out for him was like she desired that man both romantically and carnally all at the same time. She can almost picture him opening the door for her in a dashing smile as he always did– only wider on this one specific day, because she was going to make sure everything was perfect. 

She picked it up and requested Theo’s shoe size, in which the assistant obliged and brought her one of his size. As she took and examined it closer, she realized how huge he really was. The size of her foot is the size of his hand! 

‘Alright.. He’s huge.’ Emma thought to herself. “I’ll take this, thank you very much, dear!” she exclaimed to the assistant. 

The camera flashes faster than she could blink, and at the moment she knew it was a paparazzi sneaking up on her– well what else could it be? It was nothing new! She sighs irritatedly, pulling her phone out as the store assistant started putting the shoes inside of its box. “Hello? Yeah, I need a favor, darling.. They’re out in the open again. Take the pictures down as soon as it surfaces the media. I want it gone, hm? Alright, lovely. That’s all, dear! I’ll give you a raise for that.” She ended the call and put her phone back into her pocket. 

“Here you go, miss Emilia..” the assistant said to her as she was handed the box in plastic. Emma smiled at her. “Thanks, darling! Say hi to Donovan for me?” she told the assistant, who nodded her head as she smiled. Emma smiled wider upon seeing this. “Have a good day, Leonor..” She said, before walking back to the counter to pay. 

She pulled out her credit card, and handed it to the cashier. She texted a few of her friends, agreeing to meet up at the mall after she buys everything she needed to. 

“Ma’am, your card has been declined.”

Emma stopped in her tracks. “Excuse me?”

“Your card has been declined.”

Now that was utter bullshit. Who do they think she is? Some girl who went shopping for her husband’s birthday? Technically, that’s what she’s doing, but other than that, she was the Emilia Hartfelt. Heir to the company of Voxtek, the tech princess herself! This is not right.

“Try it again.” She decided to give the person some grace and mercy before she snaps at this major offense. 

“I’m sorry, MIss. it didn’t work..”

That made a chuckle out of her. “What are you trying to say? That it’s my fault? Try it again.”

Another try.

It didn’t work.

“Miss–” Emma cut her off. “Miss? Miss?! Who in the nine circles do you think I am?! I own Voxtek! I haven’t even maxed out my credit card because– oh! Right! Because it’s never empty!”

“But it says–”

Emma’s eyes glowed red. “Do you think I give a shit what it says? I know the CEO’s son, and I could easily get you fired if you don’t fix whatever’s wrong with this fucking machine!”

“Ma’am-” 

Emma, wanting it over and done with, forcefully took her credit card from the man and pulled out her wallet, giving the cashier plain cash. She stared him down, before blinking twice, signaling that all information of this man had been obtained. “You have your warning.”

She walked out of the store with the shoes, before calling her assistant, Peppermint, over to go with her. She was already pissed off as it is.

[im-just-a-boy-guys]

R@PE FANTASY/CNC/KIDNAPPING/FEM READER/ROUGH CNC.

I love stuff that's written or acted out in person. That's just some sick daydream you have, and your partner agrees to act it out with you.

Meeting somewhere in public once as husband and wife but now as strangers.

You see me in a cafe and follows me around for most of the day, keeping track of who I'm with, my movements as you always do.

I'm just shopping by myself at a market and he follows me there. I don't have a car because I take public transport so I don't stand a chance of being found when you kidnap me

You approach me as I leave the store. "Hey, I've kind of seen you around today. Do you need help with your grocery bags? Looks like a lot to carry."

I smile and think nothing of it and consider your offer. "I think I've got it.",

As I say that one of the bag handles on the cheap plastic bags snaps, and a few of my things fall onto the floor.

I sigh and look down at the fallen things. You laugh at me in amusement and help me pick them up. "Come one. I'll give you a ride home. Besides, I see some cold tuff like milk that might spoil in this hot sun."

It was pretty hot, and I was starting to sweat through my shirt. You led me to your car and pulled out of the shopping center parking lot.

I gave you the address to head to and noticed a few wrong turns, then you pressed a button near your side or the car and all of the doors to the car locked.

I began to panic freezing up. "I don't- think this is the way to my place. We were supposed to turn a mile back-"

You interrupt me. "I'm not taking you to your place."

My heart sinks, I can't escape the car, my best bet would be to run for it whenever we got where we were going, but there was no promise that I would make it out alive if you had a concieled weapon. But I'd have to try.

The rest of the ride was painfully quiet and you'd look over form me time to time, seemingly admiring your new victim. How many came before me? Im not sure.

What I didn't know was that I was your first and only victim, your favorite. You'd been stalking me for a few months and I was a prize to be won.

We pulled into the driveway of a relatively nice-looking house. Which id have assumed to be shabby and scary looking, but it was a normal house. You walked around and opened the door for me, and I stepped out.

Before you could reach for me I tried desperately to make a run for it, now in seemingly the middle of nowhere. I hear a mumbled-

"Shit! Get back here."

, as I began to sprint. I heard a small sound and then my body was hut with a slight pinching sensation followed by a writhing pain that seemed to erupt from my very nervous system.

I could hear the electrical hum and buzz of the tazer you'd fired at me as I fell to the ground, writhing in pain as it stopped sending the current. Your muscles proceeded to spasm for a moment after and you came over and picked me up by my hair, dragging me to my feet.

You made me walk into the house and threw me down on the couch, I rolled off and curled up behind it just out of your sight. Though you still obviously knew where I was. I shook softly with fear as you re-entered the house.

You walked up to the couch and grabbed me again, leading me up to your bedroom and threw me in, locking the door.

"Stay here, pet."

I heard the click and tried everything. I searched desperately for open windows and anywhere I could hide away from you.

I managed to wriggle under the bed, though obvious, it felt safe until you returned, a roap and duck tape in my our hands. I have to cover my mouth to keep from whimpering at the sight. I try to force my breathing to be quiet as you stalk around the room. "Where are you, Doll? I just wanna play some dress up okay? I'll take such good care of you-"

You checked everywhere in the room, the bathroom attached, and then you stopped before the bed. My heart sank to the deepest pit of my stomach. I saw some movement and heard the sound of duct tape ripping, my whole body seemed to quake and I tried to shrink back against the wall, unabllle to move far enough away from the edges. You leaned down and grabbed hold of my arm-

"There you are little bunny! thought you could hide from me?"

I winced and cried out as I was pulled out from the bed and tossed on top of it. Within seconds, your body weight was on mine, holding me down as you pushed ducktape against my mouth with one hand, the other restraining my wrists.

"Just stay still sweetheart. It'll be alright- Just stay still for me- stop struggling-"

I cried out and flailed and kicked around, trying to get out from under you as you tied my wrists together with the rope, it felt rough against my skin and you tied it tightly, enough to leave a bruise later. You hung the rope of my wrists on the hook I hadn't seen above your bed. I proceeded to try to flail and kick to the best of my ability till you tied my legs open to the bedposts.

You pulled a knife from your pocket and ran it up the sides of my jeans, up my legs to my hips, then over my stomach and chest. With one strong swoop, you held onto my shirt and sliced it open, exposing my sports bra. You worked your way down and sliced into the fabric of my jeans, with a few slices this time, finally managing to get them off.

the knife then ran up gently over my bare legs, slowing down at my hips as you teased the blade closer and closer to my clit. You gently ran the blade tip over my slit between the lips and I found myself heavily aroused though against my own will. It was such a light teasing feeling that caused my panties to dampen. The blast then ran up my stomach to my chest, cutting my bra off roughly and my breasts hung freely.

You examined the small but still growing wet spot on my panties and laughed mockingly, tickling my pussy with your blade some more.

"Yeah, Bunny? Do you like how my blade feels? Dont worry, I'll be making good use of it."

you smiled a menacing grin that told me you had been patiently and hungrily waiting for just this moment. Hunter finally meets prey. You pushed the knife softly against my pussy, just over the entrance, and I found myself carefully bucking my hips at the sensation, afraid of the possible cut but needing the feeling of something against me.

"That's it. It's like instinct, huh?"

I nod and keep quiet, the only noise coming from me is a faint gasp every time I almost knick (cut) myself on the blade. you let me grind for a moment before cutting my panties off to reveal my dripping cunt. You strip in front of me, got you're so handsome. I hadn't noticed before, and your cock was throbbing as soon as you freed your length from your jeans.

"Fuck, you're soaked-"

You groaned softly and climbed onto the need, blade in hand as you lined yourself up with my hole- "No-wait- please do-", This is muffled by the tape but I am interrupted as your length fills me roughly, the knife blade being pushed to my throat. this quick action caused my ussy to throb around your aching cock, massaging you for extra pleasure.

you thrust deeply and roughly into me, lost in the sensation of my wet walls, gripping at you tightly. you adjust yourself upright and toss the knife to the side as you take my neck in one of your hands, the other bracing under my shoulder to use me as your leverage, thrusting harder now that you can pull me onto you.

I start to lose oxygen and my vision goes black for a moment. I try to pull myself to consciousness but I can feel you using that to your advantage, loosening your grip until I clearly come to then squeezing again. It was like you were edging me. My limbs grew numb and tired from holding me.

you grabbed my throat roughly, squeezing till what felt like near death as you filled me with your hot cum, I squirted roughly against you, my orgasm causing my vision to go further black than the lack of oxygen did.

"Fuck, you're so good. I think I'm going to keep you-", You giggle softly as he lets go of your throat and you come to. After fantasy: You kiss my cheeks and untie me, kissing the tape over my mouth, then trailing those kisses down my stomach and this as you untie my legs. "You did so good for me baby, I'm so proud. did you have fun?" You nod, though smile because he seems to have forgotten the tape. Once you're untied he chuckles.

"Oh, right haha.", He gently removed the tape and brought you into his arms, holding you tightly. "I had so much fun thank you."

"Never a problem. I also put the groceries away earlier when you were locked in here, I didn't want the milk to go bad." "That's wonderful thank you baby."

[little1too1dramatic]

Rue Keller; Shopping Heaven for Alt Kids and Geeks?

 Hi! (＾▽＾)

Rue Keller is known for it´s alternative stores, pleasing not only darkly inclined, but also those who prefer anime and Japanese culture. When you ask for those specific recommendations, this street often pops up. But is it deserved?

It´s not hard to get to rue Keller. It´s in nice neighborhood in the city center, more or less only 20 minute walk from Notre Dame and Centre Pompidou. That is, if you don´t keep walking in the wrong direction, which happened to me. I would like to say be careful, but most of you are not as dumb as me.

Only one-half of the street is actually filled with anything your dark heart would desire – if you come from the other, with café and elementary school, you might be quite surprised. Never mind, just confidently scroll through it, until you get through all the coutures and gallanteries to Manga Dori. You won´t be surprised with majority of their sortiment being mangas, but they also sell katanas, some magazines and of course, figurines. Staff is always nice and it´s probably the only shop where I was never the sole customer. They have decent amount of publications, neatly sorted out by name in the case of well-known authors and genres. They even have a BL corner, I need to actually go through it next time! You can occasionally find a piece in English, and as you walk around the aisles even non-Manga section! They have some publications (I still hope to see Fruits or Kera one day), from Japanese comics in less orthodox art styles to a Pusheen book. I have that in Czech and I feel the need the get French version for… scientific purposes. I found some publications with lolita characters, but I will have to report on their quality. 

You can go to Pop Culture next, they represent western geek culture from next side of road. Aside from comics and another round of figurines, they have vinyls! The owner of this place is a nice, chatty guy eager to help, and he didn´t mind me coming and looking for some vampires or Sandmand in the sales. The atmosphere here is nice, probably best out of all those stores, and if you need any other recommendation, our office manager buys his Star Wars figures here. His collection is enormous.

And now my favourite. L´indien Boutique. If you are into goth, punk, rock or even just some spooky things, come here. Even if you are on budget – they sell patches for 4 euros, buttons and pins for less and they even have a 1 euro section. You can buy postcards with some musicians here, but be warned. They have an unreasonable amount of Morrissey, and even weirder of half-naked Morrissey. I will forever treasure my card with Husker Du, the only piece of merch I was able to find anywhere. They some plainer clothing in the front, also hats, from crochet e-kids ones to band caps. And jewelry. A lot of jewelry, like this amazing coffing ring that I will need to get if I will have any money once I´m done in Paris. In the back, they have more interesting clothes. I have to say, in terms of price and what you get, L´indien is my favorite in entire Paris so far. It´s not ovepriced, the selection is nice and you get the feeling that (very nice) owners know what they are doing. Also, I never met a shopkeeper that wasn´t very nice here. They carry things from brands like Killstar and Banned, but also more whimsical pieces. For example corsets, Lots of corsets around 35 euro, over and under. I feel like anyone could pick one, from the most Victorian goth to cyber punk. You can also get band tees for 20 euros here, another thing I want to get by the end of my stay.

Now there´s New Rock. You probably know their shoes, super sturdy, super high, super cool. I want to buy them when I will actually start making money. Should you go in if you don´t have disposable 200 euro? Sure, they also sell hair colours. I saw Revolution and Manic Panic here, but they have much more that I don´t remember. Prices are always under 10 euros.

You won´t have to walk too far to Black Sugar. If you want cheap cosplay and Harajuku inspired dress, come here. If there´s anything to get excited about, it´s their bags. Sanrio, Sailor Moon and a lot more, on every shelf around the store. As for their clothing, it´s cheap. As in, you pay more than Aliexpress for the same quality. You can see some lolita dresses and blouses that would probably need a lot of restoration to be salvaged, but also some not so terrible pieces. Their pants look good and would suit both 90s ravers and Visual Kei enthusiast. Some of their boleros are actually cool too. They also have some better quality lolita clothing, in different rack. They probably realized how much the comparison would hurt them. They had really cute black and white dress for 55 euros and some blouses that actually made me think.

Other than that, they have some good figurines, for example Naruto ones for 5 euros, which is great. Any emo or scene kid should be aware of their accessories. Armwarmers, striped socks, chokers, etc. The price isn´t terrible either, but quality leaves something to be desired. There´s supposed to be another store of the same type next to Black Sugar, but it´s always closed. I only got in once, and it was worse than its neighbor, both in selection and quality. I can´t find it on Google Maps and I don´t remember the name, so behold the suprise, I guess.

If you will stay up until night, you can go to Dr. Feelgood, a really nice rock bar. Sometimes they have parties, so stay tuned if you are around!

If you go straight to Kilo Kawaii Shop in le Marais from this point, you will go around a cheap cosplay shop My Bootik, that also carries some alternative goods. The price is not high, but quality reflects it.

All in all, this place looks pretty good on paper, but once you get there, it´s not so much. You can go through all the shops in half an hour, feeling both over and underwhelmed. There is almost nothing original, the prices are only slightly better than on cons and you will sense that this place might be dying a little bit. At least you will get to see some cool people – this  place is never crowded and if you do meet someone there, they are either an otaku or a member of some subculture. And it´s near to our next spot, secondhands on Rue de la Verrerie.

[yuckycupidz]

school

TW : idk be warned !!!

Ever since I was 7, my life has gone downhill, and I never realized it. At school, I would be laughed at until I tried to hide under desks to cry. I would go home to loving parents, just to lose them. I was never able to stand up for myself. I was never able to be more than I was allowed to be. I really like learning. I love going to school. I understand that I have to work. I don’t mind it. What I do mind, however, is the sheer lack of understanding of a student’s mental health. To schools, as long as you are doing work, everything should be fine for you. Schools are centered around a neurotypical mindset. 

Students are expected to memorize and recite information like mindless robots. We are forced to fit into a mold not made for us. Work, projects, day after day. Constant tests and quizzes. Stress leading to an all-time high. 

In 3rd grade, I was a very smart child. I was on the honor roll for the whole year. However, almost every night, I would be working much past a normal bedtime, crying frustrated tears over my homework. Why wasn’t I smarted like everyone else? What made ME so different? I was grateful for every award, every mention that was thrown my way. I asked for anything I wanted, and gave a polite response no matter the answer. 

Before middle school, I never cared about what I looked like. I had braids that I never cared about, hair that would barely stay in a neat ponytail, clothes that never matched, and a giant smile to wrap it all up. I loved my family, and myself. 

Middle school was the worst years of my life. In 6th grade, I never was able to fit in, and I would cry, because I missed my family. I was still smart, but I was beginning to realize that other people were smarter. I started to look at others, and myself differently. I had already gone through the awkward 5th grade boyfriend phase. I had previously sprained a wrist. Bruised knees were a fashion statement at that point. But something was off, and I was starting to realize that it was me.

In 7th grade, I came to a new school. My family was all proud of me. Although my mother wasn’t alive to see my progress, I knew she would support me. With the pandemic, it was a breeze. I barely did any work, and managed to still pass.

8th grade ruined me. I failed. Almost every class stressed me out. I never paid attention, and I barely did any work. I was accused of bullying. But I was happy.

The summer before that year, I visited my father where he lived. He lived in a different state, so visits weren’t as common as I would have liked. I was an awkward 8th grader. I didn’t want to take any pictures. In the back of my mind, I knew it was because I thought that they would last forever. 

They didn’t. One Friday evening, I came home from school, a bright smile on my face. It was a warm, sunny day. I was happy. There was a big event the next day. I was going to dance. I loved that dance. I would show it off to my aunt any chance that I got. 

I saw my aunt on the chair in the living room, looking upset. She told me : Your dad is dead. Your stepmom found him at the bottom of their basement stairs around 7 this morning.

I immediately ran to my room. I was so upset. I was incredibly close with my father. I cried and cried, but only after months after. During his showing, I had to keep the tears in, because I wanted to prove to my family that I was strong. I still remember his face. His scars from years of hard work, his features that were now mine, how, despite them trying to make it look like he was just asleep, I could tell that he was gone. I remember the nature documentary they were playing on the television in the lobby. I remember the exact shirt I wore. I wore his favorite color.

I remember going to the store and spending money to take my mind off things. I remember going back to school the day after. I could miss any work, after all. Not one teacher asked if I was okay. Only my friends asked me. They were the only ones I told. I remembered every moment that I spent with him. 

I remembered his face. I remembered his voice. I remembered the clothes that he wore every day. I remembered the address of the small house we lived in. I remembered the feeling of his large, calloused, dry hands against my smaller, softer ones as we happily danced and laughed in his mother’s small living room on New Year’s Eve.

I remembered the last phone call I had with him. I asked him if he liked pound cake, because I wanted some for my birthday. He said yes. At the end of the call, he called me his special princess. I didn’t think of it much then. I think of it too much now. 

Every day, I am mad at the world. I am angry at them for making me stupid. I am angry at them for taking away the people I loved the most. I am mad at them for making me the way I am now. I am angry at the little kids who made fun of me until I ran away and cried. I am mad at the teachers for never doing anything to help me. 

Most of all, I am mad at myself. If I was better, maybe I could have become a person worthy of the luxuries that other, normal children have.

[teezado1]

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[grogusmum]

At Sea

A Seven Tears One-Shot

SELKIE!EZRA X F!READER

RATED: EXPLICIT 18+

W/C 1200ish

WARNING: PiV sex in the ocean, rough sex, biting, feral Ezra, selkie Ezra, yes, he will always require his own warning. Set in Ireland, reader is undescribed physically.

As always see something say something. Message me in my DMs and I'll add it.

A/N: Set before Swept Away somewhere between part 2 and 4 no new revelations on the plot of the main story, so if smut is not your thing, you will not be missing anything. I'm still new to writing smut, not 100% sure how this came out. But I am yeeting it into the void and running!

(Happy birthday Adira! Have a smut💚)

4/8/23 did some editing, mostly some typos and grammar issues found.

A stóirín little treasure 

Is tú mo stóirín you are my little treasure

Grá Geal Mo Chroí shining or bright love of my heart

You have never made love in the ocean. The exhilaration, from both the water and the side of Ezra it seems to bring out of him, is unlike anythingyou have ever felt. 

The full moon rises, its glow sparkling over the waves. Ezra holds you right where he wants you, firmly in place against the ocean's pull. One arm around your waist, the other hand holding the back of your neck, as he presses his length into your core. Your eyes locked…

He had warned you, as you walked the stretch of shoreline together hand in hand that night, pebbles crunching underfoot. You told him your fantasy, but the Irish Sea, even in summer, is pretty chilly. Your two previous partners were not very keen. Ezra pulled you to him, settling into his favorite place, the juncture of your neck, his warm breath fanning over it-

"Mo stóirín (mu store -een),” he started, his voice low and rough, “I will happily make this fantasy real for you but I must warn you. Even out of my pelt, you and I in coital bliss at sea…"

Ezra pulled away to look at you. His chin up, hooded eyes downward, watching you closely. His hands ran up and down your sides under your sweater. 

"I dare say it will bring out a carnality in me that I am hesitant about putting on display."

"Do you worry you would hurt me?"

Ezra leveled his eyes with yours-

"I will never cause you harm, moonbeam"

"Then I think I can handle seeing a little of the seal, my love," you smirked.

The greedy desire that spread across Ezra's face might have alarmed someone who did not know him. But you did. You knew he would keep you safe and that he has been holding back. And you welcomed allowing him to let go.

You looked up and down the strand, Ezra was reminded of seeing you swim so long ago. Finding the it free of anyone you pulled off your sweater then your dress. Ezra pulled off his own sweater and undershirt, then while unbuckling his pants, you began to assist him.  You heard a hum like a growl as you free him of the last of his clothes. 

You gave a yelp as he hauled you into the surf. Once deep enough to swim, he circled you, making you feel not unlike prey, and you got the distinct feeling that he plays with his food.

Ezra keeps his eyes on yours, watching for apprehension or pain. 

"I always feel safe with you Ezra, I trust you…"  Ezra presses his forehead to yours, then you let out a moan as he begins to move, he blows air through his nose, bristling his mustache with an animalistic grunt as he sets a frenetic pace, pistoning his hips into your center. Giving the seal the lead.

Your legs wrap around his waist and you hold on to the back of his neck, as he devours you chest, shoulder and neck.

"Sometimes…your pull on me is so strong. You are as the tide. Sometimes. I think I'm drowning in you," you confess, each sentence punctuated with his thrusts and your gasps.

Ezra takes you to shallower waters, the surf is mid-tide and falling. The moon is doing her magic he thinks, there is some danger he must be mindful of. Be careful of the riptide. He must keep his precious pearl safe. 

He brings you to the shoreline where the waves crash, he blocks most of its force from you, wide and solid digging his feet in the peebles and sand for purchase. 

“Mo stóirín, you smell…” Ezras noses your neck, chest, and lower when the water rolls back revealing more of you. "Ripe."

Your hands go into his wet curls, as he rubs his nose and cheek up your torso and brings your hardened nipple into his warm mouth. The cold of the ocean and the heat of his mouth, the heat he is building at your core is overwhelming and almost disorienting. His tongue plays with the sensitive bud and he gives an experimental nip. Your eyes roll as your back arches, pressing your breasts into him. 

The pebbles rolled soft and round by the churn of the ocean shift under you.

“Is tú mo stóirín (Iss too mu stor-een), grá geal mo chroí (Graw gee-yal mu kree)," Ezra croons his poetry while he still has you tight in his arms as he ruts into you. His nips become bites, though he lavs over them with his tongue. When you whine at the feeling, he snarls possessively.

Suddenly he flips you with almost alarming strength and ease onto your stomach, bringing your hips up and with the crash of a wave he sheaths himself into you once more. The squeal of his name sends him into a frenzy.

 Ezra pulls you upright again, your back pressing against his broad chest. One arm tight across your chest, and the other between your legs. He slaps the bundle of nerves there and you gasp his name in surprised pleasure, as you tighten around him. He continues his assault with deft fingers pressing quick circles as he coos-

“You can do better than that, my pearl. Cry my name for the heavens to hear.”

The waves crash, his hands move to your hips with an arduous grip, and he brings them to him hard and fast. Slamming you into his pelvis. He spills into you with a near roar, and with it what feels like a spring, coiled tight in your belly finally releases and lights start to pop in front of your eyes.

You cry out his name, blissed out.

“That's it moonbeam, so good for me” he croons in your ear, forehead on your shoulder while grinding slow and deep-

"If I am the ocean, you are the moon. I am ensnared by you, your loveliness, the heart that lives on your sleeve, your love of the sea. You may think it is the other way around but it is I, that is helpless, irreparably caught in your pull, long before a single tear fell. ” 

He slowly pulls out and you whimper at the loss.

“Oh I am not done with you yet, my pearl,” with supreme gentleness he turns you to face him again, setting you on his lap, your thighs caging his hips and you slip together once more. It is slow and languid. The water seems to have calmed some too, playing at your waist, with slow draws, matching the energy of your coupling. He is softening within you, but neither of you wish to separate.

Ezra suckles at you neck and nips your chin, the man is back in full reign, with his insistent but gentle touch-

“Moonbean, how do you fair?”

“I am wonderful, Ezra, exhausted… and probably terribly sore. But wonderful.”

“My shining pearl. A stór. That, I have always known.”

THANK YOU FOR READING! 💚

You can find more of my writing here MASTERLIST and if you would care to be tagged for this or any of my writing fill out my taglist form

[thestalkerbunny]

......I have a problem because I can’t stop designing student npcs for Shadow Oaks.

Margerite St.Claire is a human cleric of the blessed. Prior to moving the Shadow Oaks, she lived in a human only gated community and attended a human only private school. In other words, she was extremely shelted from different kinds of people other than what she saw on t.v. or on her extremely parental locked internet access. However, her family deicded to yank up roots and move to Shadow Oaks as both her older sisters are attending a collage near there and they didn't want to spend anymore holidays or life changing events away from them. Now Margerite is plopped in a veritable intense mixing pot that is Shadow Oaks. She's working very hard to keep an open mind about everything, but it's all a little intimidating when half your class is green, furry, has claws or carries around magical animals. She's honestly trying her best out here.

Kingsly Blackthroat is a Bearded Dragon Kobold Cleric. His family worships privatly the god Misplacia-the god of things that are lost and found-who in the grand scheme of things is more of a minor Saint than an actual god. Kingsly thinks very highly of himself at times, coming off as a little self centered with the egotism that proves Kobolds at one point did serve the self centered dragons. He is however with his merits. He often has a good sense about where misplaced things seem to end up and as extra curricular for his Clerical Requirments, volunteers at the school lost and found, sorting thru the stuff and labeling it accordingly to who it belongs to. He has a tendancy to chew on things and keeps a soft biting necklace  on his neck at all times. His favorite Snacks are Aloe plants and extra large meal worms.

Snicker Hee Har is a gnoll Cleric and  the slightly younger step brother of Cackle Hee Har. Snicker's father married Cackles mother recently some time last summer, making a union of marriage between spotted gnolls and striped gnolls. Snicker is very laid back and relaxed about most things, he has very much a stoner energy to him. His family privately worships a new age gnollish deity called 'the Smiling God'-whos main philosphy is that you should do things that make you smile and do unto others to make them smile. He is very peaceful and very much a pacifist much to the distain of his step sister. Gnolls culturally are more submissive to the females in their family so most of the time Snicker goes along with anything Cackle wants him to do out of intimidation and obligation. But at least he does it with a very happy dopey smile.

Betty Maller is an Orcish Druid. Very sweet and new age, Betty is basically the head of her class. She is exceptionally intune with nature and her place in the cosmos. She is a hugger, but she always asks before she gives one of her big smothering hugs. She often has trouble finding clothes in her size as a lot of stores in Shadow Oaks don't really carry Orc sizing. She is the odd object of lust for many of her fellow students-from her immense size, her caring maternal personality and other aspects of her. She doesn't seem to mind much, but spends a lot of time patting people on the head and turning them down saying they don't even know her well enough to start a friendship let alone a full on sex based relationship. Betty's preferred wildshape is the Wild Boar. Betty is often referred to as her class's informal 'circle leader'

Fennick Fairway is a human druid. Often quiet and keeps to himself at time, he's a fellow of few words and seems to be very comfortable being by himself or acting on his own. Very much the guy who would rather do the group project by himself and the rest of the team can present. The truth in the matter is that Fennick has chosen to be selectively mute. He can seem to speak but seems to be very disinterested in doing so. He was orginally in the Bardic Track but changed last minute when he realized that the Teacher for that class wanted him to do singing roles and acting bits because of his pretty apperance. Being a Druid is often a more silent self reflective role rather than a preforming role. He still is proficient on the harmonica. His preferred wildshape is a fox. Fennick has 5 other siblings and it seems like he often feels talked over.

Aylssa Cleverheart is a white tailed deer saytr. She and her mother are desendants from the people who live in the area around Shadow Oaks, but eventually moved their village to the superior area that would eventually become Warm Waters. When Settlers came, they found the abandoned village structures of the previous occupants and tought nothing of it and started living there. According to many native people-the land was foul and unfit to farm, the animals strange and wild and the people themselves would eventually be bereft of corruption by the wanton bad energy there. Alyssa and her mother moved back to Shadow Oaks so her mother wouldn't have to make the long 40 minute commute to get to Shadow Oaks and do her job as a park ranger. Aylssa is very much in love with her heirtage and takes great pride in connecting with it. Aylssa feels no real immediate fear from the National Park as she is fey in origin and fey tend to be more at home there.  She spent much childhood with her Maternal grandfather who lived in Shadow Oaks and being close to the woods and to her family's culture makes her feel closer to him after his passing. Aylssa is regarded as the life of any party and a marvelous dancer. Her preferred wildshape is the Deer.

Miltoast 'Toast' Bitterborn is a Ranger Goblin. In all honesty, he doesn't even want to BE in this class, he is only here because he did well in Archery in the previous years and his over bearing mother decided to sign him up for Ranger against his will. Toast does very poorly in nature, he's allergic to most things, animals seem to hate him, he's falled out of the deer stands twice and he always seems to wander into the poison oak again.  However he's an excellent shot with the crossbow and shows great potiental at being a good marksman. Toast currently owns the highscore on most shooter games on line as 'RoastyToastyToast' and it's something he enjoys in his spare time. He likes friendly healthy competition and would rather just have it as a hobby than an actual job. He doubts he'll ever be a ranger and if he does get saddled with the job-he hopes it's just in a fire watch tower.

August Lynne is a wood elf ranger. The Complete Opposite of Toast, she's unpleasent, sour faced and a sore loser. She's come second to Toast for the past 4 years in Archery and if she could get away with it, she'd probably take the oppurtunity  to put a cross bow bolt between her eyes. She seems to have a good home life and a decent upbringing so nobody can really say what makes her such a mean indiviudal. She seems to want to be a Ranger simply so she can shoot animals for her hunting hobby without people crying about her 'sport hunting'.

Lee-way of the Ship at Sea (Lee) BrightEye is a Lynx Tabaxi Ranger. He is the perfect Ranger thus far and is surpassing his class mates. He loves being out in the woods and thrives in that enviorment. He apparently really struggled in school as he seems to be a bit dyslexic-but being a Ranger he doesn't have to think too much about reading. Animals seem to adore him and he has a companion animal named Cheers, a small falcon he nursed back to health after an owl nearly tore off it's wings. Lee's parents are apparently both rangers themselves and it seems to be a family legacy kind of job that he's more than happy to partake in. He most likely has plans to work for the park services when he graduates. Lee's family are apparently also native to the area like Alyssa Cleverheart's.

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 24 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word Count: 10k

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Tags:  penetrative sex, it’s a little rough, oral (m & f recieveing) they 69 i’m sorry, dirty talk, an attempted lap dance, reverse cowgirl because we love women who ride, slight degradation, praise kink, spanking, doggy style, little hair pulling and breath play,

Song Mood

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

“No!” 

“What do you mean no!? Baby be reasonable you can’t tell me you’re gonna cook all of that.” Jungkook glared down childishly at the cart only semi full of groceries that you had crossed off the list you had made before dragging Jungkook out, if he had it his way, you’d both be at the theme park right now. 

But seriously, his fridge was empty! Nothing, and you were not eating take out, again. It was ridiculous. So in effort to combat the increasing desire to cook at home, you compiled a list of meals you wanted to make and eat before demanding Jungkook go with you to the store because hey, if he wanted to live together then this was going to be a team effort. 

You had asked Jungkook what he wanted to eat as well and he shrugged saying he really didn’t care and therefore, the world was your oyster in terms of cooking, “Me be reasonable!?” You replied back indignant, an angry pout on your face as you flailed your hands, “You’re the one who tried to put two 24 packs of soda in the cart, a box of snack cakes, matcha snowballs and mochi in the cart? You think I’m gonna let you add ice cream to the list as well?” 

You knew Jungkook had a sweet tooth but you didn’t realize just how big of a sweet tooth he had and before you knew it, you were constantly making Jungkook put things back, he glared at you and you glared back at him. War sirens could be heard to anyone passing by you both as he gripped the tub of ice cream stubbornly. 

“It’s either mochi or ice cream Jungkook, we’re not getting both.” You replied as you crossed your arms. And for the first time in your life, you watched Jungkook’s lips quiver into a pout, puffing a childish breath as he turned around in defeat, going to put the ice cream back. 

You had to stifle your giggle because you knew he’d take it as a challenge otherwise, he was just too cute sometimes. You found his sweet tooth, in fact, endearing. Most men in his position would probably try to act all tough and manly, only liking things bitter like their personalities but Jungkook? Far from it. 

Jungkook came back with his arms crossed and that broody pout still on his face making you smile unable to stop your giggles making him even more broody as he took the cart from you with a huff, “Stop laughing at me! You’re cock blocking all my favorite snacks.” 

“Is that all you buy by yourself? Just snacks? That’s not healthy!” You giggled even more at the way he rolled his eyes, obviously your guess was correct, “Besides, once I start cooking you’ll appreciate it, I just know it. And,” You raised your brows as your lips puckered together, “You were the one that wanted us to live together, this is on you.” 

Jungkook huffed as he pushed the cart, looking down at the list that was laid out on top of your purse, “How is that going by the way?” Jungkook’s expression melted to one of curiosity as he raised his brow, “Have you talked to your landlord yet?” 

“Yeah,” You paused at the fresh produce outside the isle you both excited as you grabbed onto the cart, it was slow today and much appreciated so you wouldn’t have to battle over food with people, “The apartment is still in good condition even after...what happened,” Your lips twisted into a weak smile as you grabbed one of the reusable bags you always used at the store as you placed a fresh stalk of chokboy inside it, “My lease was getting ready to come up anyways so we agreed that with two months of rent he’d terminate my lease. I’ll get that to him Monday and then I’ll have thirty days to pack up everything and get it moved.” 

Jungkook nodded, “Which by the way, everyone agreed to come over and help clean up later today,” Your lips quivered into a pout...you...when did he even ask them that? You knew everyone had of course offered help but well, you hadn’t expected anyone to actually come and help you...well besides Jungkook but that was just a given. 

“Don’t look like that,” Jungkook snorted, reaching out as he squished your cheeks, a tiny smile tugging on your cheeks as you grabbed his wrist, pushing him away, “They asked by the way, I didn’t do anything. It just got mentioned in the groupchat.” 

“I didn’t see it.” You frowned as you checked your phone and much to your confusion you were right, there weren't any new messages to your notice.

Jungkook’s smile was a little sheepish as he shrugged, “We have a guys groupchat.” 

“That I'm not a part of!” You cried out with a pout as you crossed your arms, your expression sulky, you obviously weren’t surprised all the boys had their own chat, you were a part of so many it was hard to keep track but, couldn’t they ask in the main one? Where everyone was a part of?

“Well you aren’t a guy baby,” Jungkook cooed out, saccharine dripping on his tone as he squished your cheeks, “Besides…” He had a lopsided smile on his face as he leaned on the handle of the cart, “It was supposed to be a surprise but….I can’t help myself. I didn’t want you to cry again.” 

It was hard to not smile as you pushed him away playfully making him shove you back as you pulled the cart along, “I can’t believe everyone really wants to help...I mean...I just figured it’d be me and you.” 

“Well believe it or not they are your friends too now,” Jungkook snorted writing off on the list you made as you placed fresh tomatoes into the bag you had set the bokchoy in, “What are you even gonna make with this shit?” He furrowed his brows. 

“Food! I was gonna make some bulgogi one night and some porkbelly another with banchan and maybe some jjangijanma? I’m not just spending money on food that's gonna go bad Koo!” You stomped your foot in annoyance at why he kept complaining about you feeding both you and him decent food, “We can’t live off takeout, I’m not gonna stand for that! And!” 

You pointed a finger at him, “I want to get some paint for the living room! And some curtains because what if some creep is staring at us at night?” You shuddered, at the irrational fear but you couldn’t help it, regardless of how irrational it was you wouldn’t stand for it, especially if it was an easy fix, “Along with a rug too for the living center- oh! I was thinking about maybe finding a coffee table for the couch too? Too put in front of it?”

“Okay wait, wait, wait, slow down,” Jungkook held out his hands, his expression bewildered at your sudden long list of demands for the apartment, “Just because we’re living together doesn’t mean you can just hijack my apartment.” 

“Sure I can,” His lips parted indignantly as you smiled brightly with a shrug, “It’s not like you bothered to decorate anyways and I’m sure your landlord won’t mind a fresh coat of paint on those musty looking walls. Besides, it’s not yours anymore, it’s ours. You think we could get some new lighting for the kitchen too by the way? The white light really makes the grey walls look gross.” 

Jungkook puffed a breath, a brief smile on his lips as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, “Let's just focus on one thing at a time first okay?” You squealed at his words, bouncing in excitement at his approval of letting you completely hijack his apartment but honestly, it reeked of lack of care and testosterone. It could use a feminine touch, “We can start off with some paint and lighting, that I can do. And….” He rubbed his neck, “It’s not like we don’t have time, I just got a call from Sejin this morning telling me Cherry isn’t gonna be open until Monday.” 

You frowned, “Isn’t that when SSU starts though?” How was that even gonna go? You doubt a lot of people- if any at all would show up, especially given what had just happened. Would it even still be on this year with everything that’s happened? 

“Yeah that’s the ploy,” Jungkook shrugged, just as unsure as you as he answered, “A lot of free and cheap entertainment, drinks will be half off, Sejin and Bang are really trying to make the most of Cherry’s comeback to try and bury what happened. You’d be surprised at how superficial people are, especially men when it comes to strip clubs.” 

You sighed wistfully as you shrugged, you wouldn’t deny him there, men were strange creatures and you wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of business did come back without a care in the world for what happened as long as it meant cheap drinks and naked girls.

“But hey! That gives us more time to prep for you,” Jungkook smiled that charming bright smile of his as he bumped into you making you whine a little as you bumped him back despite a smile threatening to tug on your lips, “Meaning I got a strip pole to install when we get back to the apartment. We won’t need Cherry anyways to choreograph now.” 

You were wondering what that package was on his front porch anyways, he had only smiled that smile of his as he shrugged innocently but apparently he had been wanting to get a pole for the apartment for awhile now. 

“Well I already have some songs picked out,” Your smile was a little timid at that pure enthusiasm Jungkook always radiated with pride when it came to you and work, “You’ll have to tell me in detail later just how things are run for SSU. But anyways, this is the last of what we need so let's go check out.” 

Jungkook wheeled the cart to the checkout where you carefully placed things back into the reusable bags which Jungkook complained about but you didn't like using plastic when it wasn’t needed. 

For the first time, doing mundane things such as grocery shopping was actually rather fun, Jungkook and you would banter the whole time and he despite complaining was just as curious and involved in getting things for you (and just as what had happened, trying to bring extra things into the cart as well). However he did get his own snack as well. You just weren’t gonna let him go overboard.

Bringing groceries in was also easy as Jungkook had made it a competition he easily won by bringing them in bulk, proudly showing off the muscle he had despite it being hidden beneath the bagging clothes he often wore. 

Unfortunately Jungkook looked like a lost puppy, unable to help as you began to unload them into the fridge, debating on where to put everything as he sat back at the chair at the table with a fat pout on his face making you giggle, “You can join in the say so if you want, I don’t mind! It is your fridge. Have you ever even gotten a full grocery shop before?” 

“No.” Jungkook sulked as he crossed his arms, making a flutter of laughter escape you, “I don’t know shit about where to put what in the fridge!” 

You waved him over as you shook your head, and reluctantly Jungkook got up and peered over your shoulder, “Everyone does it different, but this is how I do it. All the big stuff like milk and dairy go on the main shelving,” You patted the first level where you had placed your oat milk, the sour cream and cheese at, “These little shelves are for smaller stuff like butter! And the drawers on the bottom hold produce like the bokchoy we have.” 

Jungkook wrapped his arms around you loosely as he set his chin on your shoulder, listening intently to you ramble and explain how you placed things into the fridge before muttering to him about how to arrange things which Jungkook would offer suggestions on, some you’d agree excitedly with and others you snort and dismiss. 

You enjoyed doing domestic things with him. It didn’t take long for all the groceries to be put away and you were admittedly excited to start turning Jungkook’s apartment into something more...bright...You didn’t want to say Jungkook’s apartment was ugly. It just felt...void of personality and flair that you knew it had the potential for. 

And it wasn’t like Jungkook lived in a bad part of Seoul, it was a lovely neighborhood and apartment complex he lived in and because it was so close to Gangnam it was extremely expensive, the only way he could ever afford it was because he was a stripper. He had told you he only started renting here three years ago. 

So you knew this apartment probably came like this and only deteriorated over time as Jungkook didn’t live hard in it, but he didn’t maintain more than needed. With a little bit of love you knew this place would be a lot brighter and happier. 

“Just hold down the bottom,” Jungkook directed as you steadied the pole, he stood up on a chair as he installed the top of the pole, you both had to rearrange furniture and Jungkook respectively asked for your opinion as this was your domain that you would be styling in the future and you both had agreed that the pole would look back towards the further right corner just a little left of where the TV was, but enough space that there was no chance of hitting the wall or anything else. 

You definitely had some work to do with this place but you were already getting ideas that you were excited to try, the rest of your summer, which was coming to a fast end, wouldn’t go to waste.  

“I am!” You replied, looking up at him with a pout as you steadied the pole. 

“Then why are you wiggling so much?” Jungkook huffed as he gripped the top of the pole making it stiff as he finished tightening the top. 

“Don’t be mean! I’m trying my best!” You replied back with a cry making Jungkook snort as he rolled his eyes, finishing up he hopped off the chair, holding out his hands, your eyes narrowing on them as you grabbed them. 

“I’m not being mean,” Jungkook tutted as he pulled you up and against him, you tried your best to make an angry face but it failed as he leaned down, bumping your nose against his, “You’re just being a baby.”

Your expression curled a little as he smiled that smile of his as he looked away, “See? Pure baby material.” 

You stomped your foot before latching onto him, your arms around his neck as you spoke, “You like it when I’m a baby!” You defended yourself, making him chuckle. 

“You’re right, I do.” He relented playfully as he sighed dramatically, “I do. I wouldn’t want it any other way then seeing your sulky, pouty little face every day.” He bumped your nose against his once more as your lips lightened into a bright shy smile as you leaned up, letting your nose brush his in acknowledgement, “Are you ready to go? The others are headed over to your apartment.” 

You nodded, “Mhm, I just wanna get it cleaned oh and…” You offered a cheeky smile that you knew he would groan about, “I wanna bring some of my mugs and plates over...it’s really sad you live off styrofoam.” 

“Oh my god.” He sighed as he hung his head causing a string of giggles to escape you, god you loved this man. 

“Man this place is a mess,” Seokjin wrinkled his nose as he swept up broken glass, “I mean really, it’s seen better da- Ow! Hey you punk!” Seokjin had dropped the broom to rub his bicep at the harsh punch Jungkook landed against his arm, his glare sharp as he briefly looked over at you. 

Kneeled down your fingers ran through the soil of the potted hosta you had bought from the supermarket, it had been dying and you were slowly nursing it back to health. Now all its leaves were dried up and crumbled from the days without nutrition or water. Placing the chunks of pottery into the plastic bag you remembered the day you bought that pot too. 

It was from the local pottery store and the woman who ran it was so excited that you had gotten it because it had been sitting on the shelf for nearly three months despite having the cutest illustration of a lone weak tree on it. 

You remembered thinking it was that most adorable thing on the planet and just knew it’d look good sitting up on that old wooden crate you stood up right as a stand. You hardly even realized tears were trickling down your cheeks as you held up the broken pottery piece that had the small tree on it. 

“We’ll get you a new one babygirl.” Jungkook kneeled down beside you with a soft tone as he wrapped an arm around you, your lips immediately quivering as you sniffled harshly, trying not to cry. It was dumb, these were all things, just material items, at least they weren’t you. But in everything you did and bought, you did it was so much passion and utmost love. 

“...It was from the pottery store, theren’t aren’t any more like this.” You mumbled with a sniffle as you closed your eyes in defeat, tears trickling down your face as you wiped them. Shaking your head, “This is so stupid to cry about!” You flopped the piece into the bag, feeling frustrated with yourself, you were tired of crying, tired of feeling your heart ache over the tiniest things. It was too exhausting. 

“No, no, no it’s not!” Jungkook immediately defended, grabbing the piece from the bag, “These are your things babydoll, and I know how much your space means to you. It’s okay for this to be hard,” He pecked your temple as you closed your eyes again, warm watery tears sliding down your cheeks, “There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that.” 

Your hands trembled as you covered your eyes, your shoulders bouncing as you silently kept your tears to yourself, Jungkook’s lips pressing into your hair as his hand soothingly rubbed your arm that was wrapped around you. 

After a moment of mourning all of the precious memories you made in this little apartment you called home, you wiped your tears as Jungkook asked if you were okay, nodding you continued to wipe your eyes as he helped you bag up the rest of the broken pot. Tenderly Jungkook took the bag from you as he rubbed your back once before getting up. 

Sighing you shook your head, wiping your eyes one last time as you stood up.Stupid...even with Jungkooks vaildation which you knew he was right about, you couldn’t help but berate yourself, it was dumb to cry about things like this when there was better ways you could exert your energy. 

Having dried your tears and having a moment to regain your composure you finished up cleaning all the pottery and glass that had been scattered on the floor before walking into the living room your lips curled a little at the confused expression Jimin sported. 

He was holding up a cloth, inspecting it closely as if trying to figure out what it was was but obviously finding no success due to the many rips in it, “It’s a tapestry,” Jimin jumped a little as you sat down on the couch beside him, “...Was a tapestry,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, “I found it at a flea market when I first came to Seoul, back when me and Seulgi lived together that was our first week on being in our apartment and it was horrible,” You shook your head as your nose wrinkled, grabbing a side of the ripped tapestry in fondness, “I mean there was water stains on the walls, the paint was chipped and looked like it had been due for a new coat for over ten years, the toilets hadn’t been scrubbed and the bathrooms were wrecked. It was horrible.” 

Jimin peered at you curiously as you traced the design of a large lotus flower that had been on it, “Seulgi just started crying the moment we walked through the house for the first time because the pictures online made it look a lot better. And of course I thought it was terrible too, but later that week exploring Seoul, I ended up finding an old flea market stall and came across this.” 

Your lips curled into a proud smile as you held it up, “And I realized that, just because that’s what our apartment looked like when we first got there, didn’t mean it had to continue looking like that. Seulgi dragged her feet and wouldn’t come with me so I painted all the walls, cleaned up the bathrooms and got new apparel to put in there. It didn’t happen fast.” 

You clacked your tongue as you sighed, “We were pretty broke at the time because even with us splitting rent it was still expensive. But slowly and sure, it came together. And we left that apartment better than it ever was. I was proud.”

You looked at Jimin only for him to scoot a little away from you as he joked, “Maybe you should’ve gone into interior decorating instead of dance? Jungkook could really use the help, he has zero sense of taste when it comes to anything besides himself.” 

You briefly flickered your gaze to Jungkook who tried to not make himself so obvious that he was keeping an eye on you both, his gaze immediately shooting away from you as you sighed, you knew Jungkook would apologize on his own time but that didn’t mean you still didn’t feel bad, “Jungkook told me…”

You didn’t need to elaborate for Jimin to know exactly what you were talking about, his expression visibly put out as he slumped back against the couch, running his hands through his hair as he groaned, “I mean I’m not surprised, but he could’ve kept it to himself…You know what, maybe you’ll tell me what the fuck is wrong with him?” 

Your lips parted a little, somewhat taken aback at just how strong Jimin came off, clearly still sore about yesterday- not that you could blame him, you knew how Jungkook was, but still…you had never seen Jimin in such a...hostile state. And a part of you felt a wave of guilt...had it not been for you...Jungkook wouldn’t be like this…

You had to pause to think about your next words carefully, because you knew if not said the right way, it could be seen as defensive, which wasn’t your intention, “...Well...I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with Jungkook,” You spoke softly, folding your hands into your lap, “He just....” Your eyes fanned around the room realizing Jungkook must’ve gone back to the kitchen, otherwise it was just the two of you, “...Jimin…” You sighed as you lifted one foot onto the couch, wrapping your arms around your leg as you gently laid your head against it, “There’s a lot of stuff going on with him lately. There’s a lot of things that he’s ignored about himself and bottled up, and...it’s all come out recently. A lot of wounds he never even tended to, have been ripped back open for him.” 

“I just don’t understand him,” Jimin sighed, lifting up the fabric of the tapestry once more as he shook his head, “I thought I knew him, but I guess I don’t huh.” You frowned a little as you pulled the tapestry from his hands, folding it up as you shook your head. 

“It’s not you, he just...I guess he thought he could bury it, or run from it...and he can’t.” You smoothed out the edges, “It’s brought out a lot of deep rooted insecurities from him. And Jungkook knows it’s not like him, but it’s not something he can help. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I made things tense between you both....” You couldn’t look at him anymore, feeling a sense of shame in you as you stared down at your fingers.

“It’s not your fault!” Jimin immediately defended you, which was appreciated but you still felt bad, “You did nothing wrong.” 

“I basically gaslit him when he thought I was pregnant with your kid and instead of just staying in, I forced us to go out and not only that but somehow during all of that, I seriously thought blowing you would be a good idea.” Jimin deflated a little at your words as you stared at him in exasperation. You didn’t force Jungkook to go out technically, but you had pushed the whole day.

But only because you knew something was bothering him and he’d never be like that normally, you should’ve respected what he wanted regardless but you just thought….thought what? You felt pathetic trying to defend your motive that day, but it had been truly innocent up until what had happened at the afterparty. You had assumed Jungkook would eventually perk back up and have fun because he loved going out, you wouldn’t have pushed him had you understood what was really going on. 

“Well you do sound kinda like a bitch when you put it like that,” Jimin muttered, looking at you as you looked back at him, a smile curling on his lips and one threatening yours as you snorted, “But we both know it probably wasn’t like that. You had his best intentions at heart. And I mean you’re right, blowing me wasn’t a good idea, but I mean…” He shrugged, that dumb smile on his face as he shrugged, “Listen, it is what it is, you and I both assumed he wouldn’t care, clearly. And it was a shit move. The most you can do is just let it go and move on, I’m assuming he told you about what he told me?”

You nodded, setting down the tapestry coffee table as you hummed, “Yeah he told me, and it’s not like I could be mad at him, he’s struggling, with a lot internally and I think once he works through it, things will be okay. But it’s just going to be a work in progress until then.” You could distinctly remember Jungkook’s anger, the way he seemed frustrated with himself. 

It was going to be a process, “Besides...It seems like Jungkook isn’t the only one who hasn’t told everyone everything either...and I really hope you both know that it’s okay to have some things stay private.”

Jimin said nothing, only looking down at his hand that he flexed his fingers out from, wiggling them a little and his expression seemed downcast, “...I used to wanna have kids,” You glanced at him in surprise, not at his words, but you didn’t think Jimin would want to talk about it, it was something very personal to him clearly and he owned you nothing, “Me and my girlfriend used to talk about it all the time.” 

His lips flickered into a small smile as he looked down at his hand, as if remenscising a memory you’d never know about, “She said she always loved baby smiles and loved little kids sitting down with her, she used to work at a daycare- so I thought, why the hell not?” Jimin’s tiny smile began to melt off her face, “She thought it was her- that was infertile. But I got tested too with her, she just so happened to get her results back faster.” 

Jimin’s face became void as he lowered his hand down, “It was late that night and she had offered to stay past her shift because they were low staffed that night but I never got to see her again, a drunk driver clipped the back side of her car and flipped it.” 

Your lips quivered a little into a frown as you folded your hands, Jimin’s lips twitched into a bitter smile, “I got my results that morning.” You could see swirls of lingering mourning and rage inside his eyes, it was very similar to not only Jungkook, but Rosé’s as well. They all had things they were struggling with and it made your heart hurt for them, “God is one cruel motherfucker.” 

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled softly, your hands folded into your lap, wanting to give him a hug because you knew anybody in Jimin’s position probably needed one, but you also knew, this was a bad time, and that it wouldn’t be appropriate given everything that had happened up until this point, “I know that doesn’t change things for you. But, I do hope you find happiness.” You offered a tiny smile. 

Jimin sighed as he stretched out, shrugging loosely, trying to play it off like he didn’t care anymore but he above all else should know it wouldn’t slip past your eyes the way he was still sore about it, and he had every right to be, “It’s been years now,” He deflated, “I spiralled out of control after that, and eventually I stumbled across Cherry Bomb.” Jimin’s lips curved a little at the memory, “I was drunk and I wasn’t sure if I was just hallucinating or if it was Yeji on stage. It wasn’t,” He clarified before snorting, something oddly melancholy in his eyes as he muttered, “It was Rosé,” His lips curled into a semi ironic smile and his brows furrowed as if only slightly amused, “They don’t even look close to alike. And I remember seeing her in class the next day before realizing she was a stripper and she just begged me to not tell anyone.” 

Jimin heaved a breath as he stretched out before sitting up, “But I didn’t wanna tell anyone, I wanted to be up on stage. It sounds stupid but, that night I was drunk, I figured who’d care if I just left the world too?” His gaze lowered a little, “But my drunk stupid ass thought it was Yeji on that stage, and I cried at the bar the whole night before Yoongi eventually kicked me out at closing, and even if they looked nothing alike, even if it was just a desperate drunk delusion, when I saw Rose the next day, I saw hope. And so I asked her how I could start dancing because it was obvious I saw her for a reason.” 

You sniffled a little, wiping your eyes as Jimin did a double take, “it wasn’t that sad christ…” He looked a little awkward as you giggled, “And…” His gaze became sharp, “Don’t ever tell her any of what I just said. She’s my best friend and I love her but that’s not a conversation I’m ready to have with her- if ever.” 

“I’m not Jungkook,” You giggled as you wiped your eyes, “Of course it’ll stay between us- and maybe Jungkook too,” He groaned as you offered a small smile, “It just made me emotional, that’s all. I can’t relate, I don’t know what that feels like. But it makes me happy you and Rosé are so close.” 

“I am a lesbian,” You both jumped at Rosé who put her hands on the couch, a bright smile on her face as she answered pointedly, “I mean we already agreed to get married platonically if we’re both single by 30 but I draw the line with dicks. Unless it’s rubber it’s not getting near me.” You snorted as you began howling out laughing, Jimin looked a little flustered, not at her words but at her appearance before relaxing as he rolled his eyes. 

“So why all of these affectionate words? Did I do something?” Rosé smiled teasingly as she placed a hand on her chest waiting making you giggle as you shook your head while standing up, shrugging as she pouted, “Hey no fair! You can’t keep secrets from me!”

You offered a small smile as you replied, “Sometimes, the longer a secret is kept, the sweeter it is when they tell you.” Rosé waved her hands walking back to the hallway as you giggled. You were glad, if anything, that you had the chance to talk to Jimin and not only this, but for him to share such a personal thing with you. 

“Are you really okay? With everything going on I mean?” Hyerin frowned, she had texted you earlier in the morning asking if you’d be interested in getting drink’s together and of course, leave it to Jungkook and Yugyeom both for that matter to butt in. 

They were off in the distance playing pool, Hyerin said she wasn’t a fan of bars but when you offered a lounge she seemed excited as she had never been, it was a nice place, lowkey and quiet but good for a night out or even a place to study during the day. 

You both sat at the counter watching Jungkook and Yugyeom play against a few others here at the lounge, “Well, I have to be,” Your hands curled around your drink, not wanting to think about what had happened a few days earlier and it was difficult to keep up with just how many traumatising things had happened within a week, “For Jungkook’s sake...and…” You sighed softly, “It’s not like there’s anything that can be done for me right now. That’s just gonna take time…” 

“Awh, I understand. I just wish things hadn’t taken such a sharp turn, do you know when Cherry Bomb will open back up at least?’ Hyerin stirred her drink as she leaned back against the barstool, watching Yugyeom and Jungkook look like little boys triuphanting over their victory together.

“Monday, by the sound of it...But nobody is even sure if we’re gonna have a crowd, even with SSU starting that night. Regardless me and Jungkook are gonna stay busy with choreographing, he’s really excited about it.” Your lips tilted upwards a little bit at the memory of how much enthusiasm he had, you were happy to see him happy. It was just like him to be like that, “How have things been...at the dungeon with...you know...Shownu was it?” 

Hyerin snorted, taking a sip of her drink as she rolled her eyes, “Same old, same old, he causes shit, makes dom’s hate him and gets away with it.” She crumpled the paper her straw had been in as she flicked it against the countertop, “Honestly, Yugyeom wants to find a new dungeon, the drama just isn’t worth it. I’m glad you and Jungkook don’t go regularly.” 

You tilted your head as Hyerin offered a weak smile, “It’s hard enough keeping Yugyeom from beating the shit out of Shownu and getting us kicked out. Jungkook and Yugyeom together?” You let out a weak laughing, beginning to understand what she meant, “I mean they’d probably send him to the hospital…” 

“They would send him to the hospital,” You offered a weak smile, even without Yugyeom’s help Jungkook totally would, let alone with it? Hyerin was right, that was a bad mix even together, you hadn’t had the chance to talk to Yugyeom fully but you had the feeling, that despite being more relaxed then Jungkook was, he could get just as defensive as him, easily. Maybe even more so, “What is the reason Shownu is still allowed around anyways?” 

You both didn’t have the time to visit the dungeon much but you got the impression that if you did, you’d probably be a lot more involved in the drama given Jungkook’s inclination to always step in, “Ah…” Hyerin relented as she rubbed her neck, “Shownu is just good friends with a lot of the dungeon owners, and if you’re on good terms with them? You’re pretty much untouchable. I don’t know all the ends and outs but…” Hyerin frowned as she looked at her cup, “Word is that some of the girls have been disappearing at the dungeon and...Some of the dungeon owners might be involved...I don’t know. We haven’t been for the past week ever since we found out. Yugyeom wants things to clear up before we go back.” 

You shuddered at the idea, being a little to familiar with the feeling, you could understand Yugyeom’s concern, for anyone’s concern really, Jungkook would be, and is the same way, “Seems like trouble in paradise everywhere these days,” You sighed wistfully, even in the areas of your life you weren’t so involved it, were having trouble now. 

You just wanted things to become normal again, when they weren’t so tense and your only stresses were exams and being naked on stage. It seemed so...insignificant in comparison now. Things were the way they were, so you wouldn’t complain about them, and at the very least, you and Jungkook had each other and you’d make it through this. 

But still, it was hard to not wish for things to be easier again. When your life wasn’t put on the line as well as Jungkooks, which he hadn’t exactly clarified but...You couldn’t ignore your gut instinct that was telling you he was in just as dangerous of a position.

“Tell me about it,” Hyerin sighed before suddenly perking up with a thought, “Oh…! You know what,” She turned you, her smile a little shy now as she asked, “What if you came over and we hung out one night? I have tons of coloring sheets at my apartment and snacks too! Yugyeom is pretty strict about snacks but he’d totally be willing to let us have some if it was a get together!” 

Was she talking about- Oh...your face felt hot at the mention, feeling a little shy but you did like the idea, sounded like...a nice break from the harsh world you were constantly having to endure day in and day out, “Sure…! We could do it tomorrow night if you wanted? If you’re free of course!” 

Hyerin bounced in her seat in excitement, “That’s perfect! And bring as many stuffies as you want, I have a whole collection I want you to meet.” You both began giggling and Hyerin needed to shut up before she slipped and you could tell her excitement was getting the better of her. 

“Oh I know that look,” Yugyeom called out, him and Jungkook both finished with their game of pool, his smile soft at the sight of her excited bounce and wigglyness, “What are you two conspiring?” 

“Well!” Hyerin crossed her arms, looking away with a little bit of sass as she spoke proudly, “Me and Y/n are having a playdate tomorrow night and you both aren’t invited.” Your eyebrows lifted and your gaze darted away from Jungkook’s who looked both thoroughly amused and yet daring you to try and piggy back off Hyerin. 

“Oh?” Yugyeom raised his brows, somewhat amused, somewhat challenging, “And where am I supposed to stay? Our bedroom?” Hyerin’s lips parted a little before she hmphed, crossing her arms, “As long as you aren’t mean to her I don’t care.” 

“I won’t! Y/n is my friend!” Hyerin pouted a little, grabbing your arm defensively as you smiled shyly, your hands folded as Jungkook sat down next to you, pressing a kiss on your head. 

“As fun as it’s been these two need to be separated, look at them,” Jungkook snorted in amusement, his eyes dancing with affection as he tenderly stroked a hand through your hair as you curled up against his touch, “They’re gonna send each other small in excitement,” Jungkook, knowing you contained the urge to coo at you as he spoke, “What about me though? Hm? Am I excluded too?”

Your lips quivered into a pout as Jungkook smiled fondly, his hands squeezing your cheeks, “No…” You mumbled, your bottom lip jutting like a fish as his fingers pressed into your cheeks once more, the puppy expression on your face just too cute for Jungkook to resist tapping your nose, “You can be there.” 

“Oh thank you so much baby,” Jungkook whispered, unable to stop the soft coo that escaped him, your arms immediately latching around him in a hug, as you looked up at him with a bright shy smile, “You’re always so thoughtful of others huh?” He leaned down and pecked your forehead. 

“Okay yeah, I gotta take someone home,” Yugyeom sighed but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face at Hyerin now attached to him, he brushed his hand through his hair before snorting, “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow huh, no courtesy of you.” He pinched Hyerin’s side making her whine, “Come on sweetheart, let’s go.” Hyerin bounced a little as she hugged unto Yugyeom who only smiled. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Jungkook waved them off before tutting, “You were gonna make plans and leave me out baby.” He said exasperatedly, a playful tone in his voice but you still shook your head. 

“No! That was Hyerin...I…!” You crossed your arms, a sulky glare on your face as Jungkook chuckled, “That wasn’t me!” You whined, leaning against Jungkook as he wrapped an arm around you, “She just thought it would be fun to get together and- and I just thought!” 

“Thought what?” Jungkook smiled boyishly as he raised his brows in amusement, “Thought what baby? Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Thought it’d be nice to just not have to deal with everything for the night,” You mumbled, feeling a bit shy to admit it. You had felt self conscious when it came to anything about age regression, things had gotten a little better since you had talked to Jungkook about it but you were still a bit shy and admittedly...being with someone like Hyerin, who did the same thing, it made you feel, not so self conscious. 

“Well you’re more than welcome to at any time now that we’re gonna be together all the time baby,” Jungkook clacked his tongue, a playful smile on his face as he pressed a kiss to your head once more, “Buy hey, it’ll be a good way to relax tomorrow because we’re working the rest of today and all of tomorrow on your dances since we go back Monday. We’re gonna be cramming baby.” 

You whined at his arm squeezing you making a flutter of giggles escape you, pressing your head against him as he affectionately pressed a kiss on top of your head once more, “Are you ready to go then baby? We got lots to do at the apartment.” You supposed, Jungkook was right, and admittedly, you were looking forward to working with him on it. 

“No….No...Baby come on, I know you can do better than this.” 

You stomped your foot as you turned to Jungkook who was laid out on the couch, though obviously not impressed with your choreography was clearly enjoying the show regardless, a boyish smile crossed his lips at the sight of your annoyed expression. 

“Instead of sitting there just staring at my ass why don’t you help if you don’t like it!?” You crossed your arms, a sulky pout on your face as he chuckled, sitting up before walking over to you, his arms on your shoulder as he pushed you back to the pole. 

“I am helping,” He whispered playfully in your ear as you felt your face go red, shoving him a little as he laughed, “I’m being the audience, and I can tell you the audience won’t care for it.” 

You groaned as you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms once more in frustration, “Then help me! What would look better oh sex dance master.” 

“I am the sex dance master,” Jungkook retorted with a chuckle, that stupid smile on his face as you puffed a childish breath, “And instead of starting out leaning on the pole like every other basic bitch, you should start laying down, and kick your feet up onto the pole.” 

“Did you just call me basic!?” You cried out, Jungkook only looked down at you, a smile still on his face as you groaned, grabbing your head as you looked up at him in disbelief. 

“Why don’t you lay down baby,” Jungkook redirected only more amused at your cry of frustration before complying, laying down on your back you set your feet up against the pole. Jungkook kneeled down as he nodded, “Mhm, and just…” He grabbed your wrists delicately, crossing them before he pulled them up over your head. 

Standing up he backed away a little, “Arch your back a little,” 

“I’m laying down.” You complained as you twisted your head to look up at him. 

“Arch your back.” Jungkook repeated more firmly, making you heave a sigh, uncomfortably curving your spine as best you could, “Now lift your chin a little,” You frowned before doing so, “Okay, okay, and...close your eyes and act sexy.” Your lips threatened to curve into a smile as you snorted, doing so, “That’s not sexy.” 

“I’m trying my best,” You opened your eyes, lips jutting a little as you glared up at him, “And this is my best.” Jungkook rolled his eyes, a smile tugging on his lips as he sat back down, “I’ve seen your best sweetheart, that’s not it. Now start the routine from there, do a few kicks or whatever you want from here before getting up.” 

Closing your eyes you sighed, trying to come up with something and the only thing you could think of however was letting one leg slide down the pole before slowly extending it back up, extending your other leg off the pole before walking them a little. Letting your feet lean to the left a little you lowered them to the floor before lifting your upper body up, looking at Jungkook who shrugged, tipping his soda can at you making you whine, “Bad?” 

His face scrunched a little and he hesitated for a second, “It’s not terrible...but you could do better. First move was nice, second was a little lacking and you know they think it’s cooler when you’re actually on the pole.” 

Laying back down you set your legs back on the pole, “So leg down is fine,” You lowered your leg to your chest once more, “extension is fine?” 

“That’s a good part,” Jungkook nodded, “Now do walk, walk,” You mirrored his words with your each little step, “Just two, then take your feet to the left and lift up. Don’t prolong it. Now lift your arms up and grab on with reverse.” 

You could strip yes, but...pole dancing….? It came with the trade but you still weren’t what one would consider your strong suit. Carefully you placed your hands in reverse grip, “Now pull yourself up.” This was easy! You pulled yourself, feeling triumphant, taking a few steps before adjusting your grip and doing a fan kick to the front. 

“There you go baby,” Jungkook nodded approvingly, his lips curled in that proud smile of his as he leaned back in his seat, “ You couldn’t help but feel shy at his words but continued with one more step before letting go of the pole, pressing your back against it as you slowly slid down to a pole sit, “My thighs are burning,” You whined, “You think I should do a button up for this?” You fiddled with pretend buttons before pushing yourself up. 

“I think,” Jungkook stood up, walking over before squeezing your chin, “You should do what you think is best, baby. I’m here to help not coach.” He whispered as you tried to push him away with a giggle as he pulled you back closer, “For what it’s worth I think you look pretty sexy no matter what.” 

“Stop! You whispered back feeling flustered and giggly pulling away from him as a closed mouth smile tugged on his lips, sitting back down on the couch his eyes were only slightly lidded but you could see what that meant from a mile away. 

“You know what baby? I think we might need to brush up on your lap dancing again,” Jungkook opened his arms, his thighs parting comfortably as he gestured you to his lap, your body immediately warmed as you whined a little, unable to deny him as you shuffled to stand in front of him, attempting to sit on his lap but his hand latched onto your hips stopping you, “Ah...what are you supposed to do before a lap dance baby?” 

You whined again as you shuffled in spot, Jungkook clicked his tongue, his hands tugging down your sweatpants to reveal your panties, you had anticipated getting laid today leaving you in a plain cotton underwear making you semi shy, Jungkook wasn’t having it though as he tugged you onto his lap, “Stop whining,” he whispered in your ear, his hands gripping your thighs before making their way to your ass, “And start making me feel good baby, show me how you do it.” 

You couldn’t resist pressing your face into his neck as your hips began circling against him, you could feel his cock beginning to stir as he let out a soft moan. 

His grip softening on your ass and his hands guided them ever so slightly, your clit beginning to rub just the right way on his jeans making you whine, “Mmph…! Jungkook!” Your hips becoming more desperate as you began grinding on him harder as your clit throbbed pathetically. His hands patiently guided your hips as he suckled tenderly on your neck. 

“That’s it baby, get those panties nice and messy for me.” He moaned softly, his hands squishing the cheeks of your ass in appreciation as you continued to grind against the the growing bulge in his pants, burying your face further into his shoulder as you whined.

“You’re not supposed to touch me during a lap dance…!” This wasn’t fair! Jungkook only squeezed your ass even harder making you jump a little as you were suddenly jostled onto the couch.

“You call that a lap dance baby? I’ve seen you do better.” Jungkook clicked his tongue as confusion washed over you as to what he was doing before you squeaked at one leg being straddled over him, your hands grabbing his stomach for some sort of support but that clearly wasn’t what Jungkook was aiming for, he carelessly pushed your back making you collapse down grabbing his thighs. 

Your face like it was burning at the realization of what position you were in, “...Jungkook!” You whined trying to pathetically crawl away from how close his face was to your throbbing cunt. It was expected for him to forcibly pull you back, a hand slamming against your ass making you squirm with a whimper, “Don’t wanna hear one word about it sweet heart, you know what I want you to do?” Jungkook’s voice dripped patronizingly, “I want you to suck that cock and if you do a good job maybe I’ll give this little cunt a good reward.” 

His hands left no room for debate as you whimpered at the feeling of your panties sticking to your cunt, your hands fumbled with the hem of his sweats before pushing them down along the Calvin Klein’s he was sporting today. His cock bounced in search of you as your lips quivered a little, sure you had slept together too many times to count now but...it didn’t ever make it less intimidating to blow him, especially in a compromising position such as this.

Sucking it up though you positioned yourself onto your forearms before giving a small lick to his irritated tip that was already beginning to dribble with precum, “Don’t you fuckin’ tease baby. That’s not what I asked.” Jungkook growled, his hips lifting a little in chase of your tongue and you couldn’t stop the little giggle that escaped you as you gave another kitten lick to his tip once more. 

Jungkook’s teeth gritted before you squeaked at the feeling of your panties being ripped off at the sides, “Jungkook…! Those were expensive!” Sure they were loungewear but that didn’t make them any cheater!  Jungkook ignored your whine though as you whimpered at his tongue suddenly pressing onto your sensitive little bud, a gasp escaping you as you lowered gaze despite not even being able to look at him, “Mmph…! Jungkook…” you mumbled, your cheeks burning and your hips unable to resist rocking against his tongue as your eyes squeezed shut.

A hand harshly striked the cheek of your ass making you jump as you whimpered, Jungkook’s tongue immediately being removed from your clit, “Suck, suck it you little cockslut, make that mouth useful baby.” Not wanting to prolong any sort of punishment you did as told, positioning yourself as best you could before taking his tip inside your mouth, suckling along his head tender before slowly bobbing your head to take him further.

Jungkook’s hands softened against your hips and you heard a low moan from him before his tongue rewardingly met your clit again, the notion had your thighs squeezing against his head and another whine vibrating against his cock as your head began to bob faster around his cock before you pulled off him to take a deep shaky breath at his persistence in suckling your clit.

Jungkook’s hands guiding your ass to ride against his tongue as your eyes squeezed shut tightly, “Mm! Jungkook…!” It was hard to focus on any sort of task when he was putting you through this, his hands squeezed warningly immediately putting you back to work.

Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock before lightly tugging it, your tongue dragging on the sensitive underside of his shaft. 

A hiss escaped Jungkook’s and his impatience attempting to get the better of him as his hands squeezed your ass before his mouth attached back to your clit, suckling and pressing his tongue down against it, flicking it rapidly making it difficult for you to do anything escape whimper against his cock as you attempted to keep the same energy for him. 

Squeezing a little on his base you took his tip back inside your mouth before bobbing your head as your legs trembled from the force of his tongue roughly playing with your clit, a hand smacking your ass making you jump but your hips were forced to stay in place with no choice but to take it as your eyes began to water. 

Taking his cock further into your mouth intending to go all the way until it hit the back of your throat, you could feel the pleased expression from Jungkook due to his moans of contentment on your cunt, his hands soothingly rubbing your thighs in coax to keep going for him. Wanting to please you hurriedly took a deep breath before slowly sinking further down his cock, your throat immediately stinging unpleasantly and your eyes watering as you heard low moans and long sigh of contentment from Jungkook, “Mmm, what a good girl, so good baby, keep going, keep sucking that cock.” His lips parted, dragging his tongue back to your clit making you gag on his cock as you whined, backing your hips further against his face in desperation. 

You bobbed your head sloppier at the feeling of his tongue delicately flicking your clit before he wrapped his lips around the tiny bud, something about the sensation sending you feral as the orgasm suddenly lit through your veins making you gag and whimper as your body squirmed against him. 

Jungkook’s hips lifted a little at the feeling of your mouth wrapped so tight around him, “Ah fuck! Such a good little slut for me baby, fuuck.” Jungkook let his head rest back on the couch as he sighed contently, his hands soothingly squeezing your ass cheeks as his lips parted a little, “Shit, shit baby! Mmm.” Your throat was painfully stinging and salvia was pooling down your chin before you pulled off him briefly to take a deep breath, “Such a good girl baby,” Jungkook cooed coaxingly, “C’mon baby, ride that cock for me, wanna watch you go dumb on my dick.” 

You whined a little, wiping your face with your arm before you carefully further down the couch, Jungkook’s hands guiding your hips to stop just at his cock which was bobbing in seek of friction. Your walls felt empty clenching around nothing and you wasted no time changing that. 

Sinking down on his tip you closed your eyes as a shallow moan escaped you, the feeling of his thick shaft splitting you open as you began bouncing on top of him. 

“Fuck baby, what a nice little wet cunt, keep going sweetheart, keep fucking going.” Jungkook inhaled through his teeth, trying to compose himself from wildly slamming himself into you like he wanted too, “Faster baby, I know you can take it.” You whine, lowering onto your forearms for more leverage as your hips started bouncing faster, your walls clenching around him harshly and his tip hitting all the right spots inside you as you whined with a shaky breath, sinking all the way down on him slowly before wiggling your hips. 

This notion made something inside Jungkook twitch before he growled impatiently, his tip nearing an angry bright red as he pulled out of you making you jolt a little as you shifted, being broken out of trance as you whined, “Jungkook…!” He wasn’t having any of it though, sitting up he shoved you further down onto the couch making you whimper as he yanked your hips up. 

“I know my little baby was having her fun but do you feel this?” Jungkook situated himself on his knee’s, your cunt presented to him as he slapped his cock against it as your lips quivered, “That’s your fault babydoll.” You didn’t even have a chance to defend yourself before the head of his cock pushed inside you once more only this time being at his complete mercy before Jungkook took liberty and slammed into you.

Your body was being jolted and your hands were hanging onto the couch arm for dear life as you cried out, “Ah! Fuck, fuck, Jungkook…!” You whined at the force his hips were slamming into you at, Jungkook was having none of it though, reaching out as he grabbed a fist full on your hair yanking it as his balls slapped against your skin hard enough to make you weak in the legs. 

“Don’t wanna hear a single word from you baby, you’re gonna be my little fucking cum dump yeah?” Jungkook’s breath was hot against your neck as his cock pushed before inside you, staying nice and snug in your cunt as he roughly thrusted harder into you making your body jostle with every motion. 

Just the thought had your walls squeezing around him as he moaned, “That’s right baby, you want this tiny cunt to be used to take all my cum? My little cumslut.” Jungkook’s jaw clenched at how loud you were beginning to moan, your body withering and shaking which was only giving him more motivation to keep going, his hips slamming harder and harder as your thighs trembled and had a harder time staying up.

“Go on baby, cum all of this cock, I can feel this little cunt wanting it, cum.” Jungkook nearly barked out with a growl, his cheating pressing against your back now, letting go of your hair in trade of your throat as he squeezed it tight making a breathy moan escape you, your vision nearly blacking out at how hard you abruptly came again, not even registering how loud you were moaning and whining beneath him. 

Jungkook pressed his forehead against your shoulder blades as he swore with gritted teeth, his hips burying inside you as he let himself go, hot substance shooting up inside you as he moaned softly, swiveling his hips a little to ride out his orgasm as he buried his face into your neck, “Fuck baby, feels so good.” He mumbled with a rasp as he pecked a kiss on your neck. 

Your body was rapidly trembling and you could hardly even speak as you melted into the couch trying to wrap your brain around how hard you just got railed.

Jungkook happily nuzzled into your neck, a small smile on his face as he began pressing kisses into your neck, “Love my baby so much, you did such a good job.” His hands rubbed against your waist approvingly making you wiggle a little, a tiny smile on your lips as you mumbled, “Were you mad at me…?” 

Jungkook’s nose nudged the crook of your neck against as he shifted a little to lay on top of you, his cock slipping from you making your legs twitch a little as he pressed another kiss on the back of your neck this time, “No? Jus’ wanted to fuck you senseless,” You huffed as he chuckled a little, “You weren’t complaining baby, say it back.” He poked your side as you wiggled a little, “C’mon say it, I wanna hear you say it baby.” 

You whined a little before wiggling, managing to turn yourself over to lay on your back, “Love you too Koo.” Jungkook practically looked like he was glowing as he collapsed against your chest, tiny kisses being placed on your collar bones as you cocooned yourself against him, happily soaking in all of the attention.

Note: It’s been such a cute little break in the story guys!!! I hope you’re prepared for the final four chapters coming up soon because !!! things get a little intense!!

(Taglist CLOSED)

Taglist:   @rkivemagic​​  @megladon1616​​ @pearlneedstosleep​​ @sincerelyjeohn​ @epiphany-playwithfire @maboiisuga​ @kookphoria91​​ @taehyungiev13​@134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness​​ @hanhannguyen98​​ @lurkerarmy​​ @lovelyjkook​ @serendipity-secrets​​ @kimvantaee​ @timestandstillalittle​​ @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl​ @blxckeffect @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass​ @caitlinmarieeblossom @jishookedout134​  @rjsmochii​ @lovethatforme97​ @kthstrawberryshortcake @anonymous2505​ @rainbow-zebra-unicorns​ @namjoonies-dimple​​ @keyaqua123 @kai1697jeon @mochibabycakes​ @min-chimchim03​ @rosewxterbts​ @zazaluvbts​ @thekookiecorner​ @copa-c-havana​ @rapperkookz​  @xhg-btsx​ @intrepide11​ @bts-army46​ @jimintaendem​ @sleepyje0n​​ @vidaficrecs​ @purplelady85​ @jeonsbbgirl​​ @loveyourselfbangtans​ @ausjeons​ @hajimaoppaa​ @l4life

[chaotic-jjk-fiction]

Perfect Puppy

Gojo Satoru x Fem Puppy reader x Nanami Kento

Happy Valentine’s Day! This fic isn’t specifically theme for Valentine’s day, but it is cute and fluffy. 

TW: Poly Fic, Puppy reader, Reader is adopted from shelter, she/her pronouns used, Reader wears a collar, Reader is essentially just a pet, cute fluff

Gojo sat on the counter as Nanami cooked, swimming his legs and watching his lover work. Despite the fact that the two of them worked together, it felt like they barely spent any time together. Domestic moments were a rare occurrence for the two, and Gojo was enjoying it fully. He also figured it was to the perfect time to bring up something that had been on his mind for a bit. He sighed loudly hoping to get his lovers attention. 

“What is it?” Nanami asked rolling his eyes at his husband’s antics. Gojo chose to ignore that and express his thoughts anyways,

“I want a pet.” He then paused to see how Nanami would react. 

“Like a goldfish?

“Noooo,” Gojo whined, “Like a dog or maybe a cat.” Nanami stopped for a moment to take in what he had just heard.

“We can’t get a pet like that with our job, you know that.” He paused, “And what makes you bring this up now anyway?” Gojo pushed himself off his perch and wrapped his arms around Nanami’s waist as he stood at the stove. 

“I’ve always wanted a pet but I was never allowed to have one as a kid. I brang it up now because we’ve finally got a house where we have the space.” Nanami pondered Gojo’s explanation before moving to grab some plates out of the cabinet, breaking free from his lover’s embrace. 

“You do know you’d have to feed it, walk it, and take care of it in every other way?” He continued to serve the food as he waited for Gojo’s answer.

“I know that. And of course I would take care of it.” Nanami sighed as he placed the plates of food on the table at their respective places. 

“Alright Satoru, I suppose we can look into getting a pet if you really want one.” Gojo was ecstatic. He spent the rest of the night talking about what he wanted in the pet. 

“I want them to love me, they have to be good with cuddles, I want them to like walks, but not need them, ooh and maybe just a touch of separation anxiety so that they are always happy to see me!” Nanami was happy to see his husband so excited and he just hoped it wasn’t just another one of Gojo's whims, a pet was starting to sound nice.

The next day Gojo didn’t bring it up as they got ready for work and he didn’t seem a bit more excited than normal. Nanami couldn’t help but wonder if his partner had forgotten their conversation. They didn’t see each other until it was late into the afternoon. Gojo was bounding up to Nanami with a folder in his hands.

“I printed out a list of the adoptable pets at this shelter so we can look over them on the way there!” Apparently, Gojo had not forgotten their conversation at dinner, and Nanami soon found himself being dragged into a waiting car. On the way to the adoption center that Gojo had chosen the two of them poured over the file. 

“Look at how cute that one is. Oh, but look at that one’s ears. AHHH they’re all so cute!” Nanami couldn’t help but feel his heart warm at the sight of his overexcited husband. They had to quickly stop back at their place first to take some pictures of their living situation as proof that they had a suitable home to own a pet. As soon as they had done that they were right back on course to the shelter.   

“I really can’t decide which of them I like more. Do you have a favorite so far?” Gojo turned to Nanami hoping to get some input on the pets they were looking at. 

“Actually,” Nanami paused “There is one that caught my eye.”

“Which one?” Gojo was eager to know which pet he found of interest. Nanami ruffled through the papers looking for their page. Upon finding it he held it in the middle of the two of them so that Gojo could see it too. 

“She’s so cute, I see why you like her.” Nanami nodded to affirm Gojo’s words. The pet that had caught his eye was a puppy girl. 

“We’ll request to me meet her when we get there!” Gojo was pleased by his husband’s choice and was hoping that you would be everything he wanted in a pet so that it would all work out. 

As soon as they arrived, Gojo was bounding up to the front desk asking the receptionist to help them meet you so they could assess compatibility. The receptionist handed them the proper paperwork so that they could do just that and Nanami filled it out while Gojo handed him the photos of their house to keep on file. Once Nanami handed the paperwork back they looked over it before directing the couple to follow him. They walked into a back area with a long hallway of rooms where prospective adopters could meet the pets they were thinking of adopting. 

“Please wait in here while I bring her to you.” The receptionist bowed before closing the door to the room they had been given behind him. Nanami and Gojo sat down on the sofa-like-bench in the room. Gojo was getting antsy, “I can’t wait to meet her!” His excitement was a little contagious and Nanami found himself also with a swelling feeling of anticipation. They didn’t have to wait for very long though, and soon the receptionist was opening the door to reveal himself and you standing right next to him. You looked just like your picture, almost cuter if they were being honest. The receptionist guided you into the room before making his exit once again. 

“If you need anything please don’t hesitate to push the button on the wall.” and with that, he was gone. Gojo and Nanami now focused their attention on you.  You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, tail down unsure of whether or not to trust the gentlemen in front of you. Gojo motioned for you to join them, you hesitantly took a few steps forward before freezing again. Gojo was loving how shy you were, while on the other hand he just wanted you to love him immediately. Gojo once again patted the space in between him and Nanami eagerly inviting you to sit there. You took a few more steps, finally reaching the end of the bench, before turning around and sitting down. Although you felt awkward being in-between the two complete strangers, you couldn’t deny that your heart was pounding with excitement at the idea of being adopted. Gojo couldn’t stop himself and he brought his hand up to your head, lightly petting your ears. His action made you shiver and lean into his touch. This only served to fuel his eagerness in touching you, and his light strokes turned into a much more vigorous scratching of behind your ears. Nanami watched the way your tail started wagging and how content you now looked under Gojo’s touch. He realized that you were the one, at least in his mind, and he hoped that Gojo would agree. 

“Aww, does puppy like that?” Gojo cooed as he continued to scratch behind your ears, the little rumble coming from your chest was enough of a confirmation for both of them. Nanami did not personally feel the need to join Gojo in petting you, seeing how happy his lover is was enough. He continued to watch over the course of 30 minutes as the two of you bonded. He knew that Gojo and him would be adding a third member to their family.  

“Have you made your decision?” Nanami asked looking down at the pair who had ended up on the floor of the room. Gojo and you paused your petting/cuddling and looked up at him. Nanami elaborated,

“Would you like to look at other pets, or have are you made up you mind Satoru?” You looked up at Gojo with your biggest puppy eyes. You longed for adoption, and the attention Gojo was giving you was all you ever wanted. One look at your cute expression was all too much for Gojo, 

“I’ve made up my mind! I want her.” Nanami nodded in agreement and pushed the call button on the wall. Nanami stood when the receptionist popped in a minute later, 

“Did you need something?”

“We would like to adopt her today,” Nanami stated looking from you and Gojo to the receptionist in the doorway. 

“We need to review the images of your home you provided and there is more paperwork to fill out-”

“That is ok, can we start on the paperwork while the photos are being reviewed?”

“Of course, I’ll go get it right away.” He bowed and quickly exited the room. Nanami was immediately encased in his lover’s arms as Gojo threw himself at Nanami. 

“Thank you!” Gojo sang burying his head in the crook of his lover’s neck. Gojo soon broke away from him though and returned his attention back to you. 

“Did ya hear the puppy? You’re going to be coming home with us!” You couldn’t control how fast your tail started wagging at his words. It didn’t take long for the receptionist to come back with the required paperwork. Nanami filled it out as Gojo resumed playing with you, all the while telling you how perfect your life was going to be and all the nice things you would have. It didn’t take too long to fill out the forms and soon Nanami was once again pressing the call button. He handed the man the completed forms, 

“Your house has been approved. You may come out and get your care instructions packet, please look over them and make sure you don’t have any questions before leaving.” The receptionist opened the door wide for the three of you. Gojo took your hand and lead you out of the room, Nanami followed behind the two of you. Once back in the main entrance area of the shelter where they had first entered, they were handed a small stack of papers. The care packet turned out to be very straight forward. It had a section on feeding, training, your immunization record, medical things to look out for, and so on. 

“Are you ready to go to your new home?” Gojo cooed to you, watching your ears perk up. 

“Not so fast,” Nanami interjected, “We still need to get you a collar.” 

“Oh right,” Gojo remembered. That didn’t take very long though as the shelter had an attached store. Soon you were fitted with a cute collar that Gojo had chosen with your input, and had a name tag with your name and their numbers. 

“Alright puppy, let’s get you home,” Gojo chirped. He had insisted that you sit on his lap for the entire car ride back to their place. Gojo continued to play with your hair and ears, while Nanami finally made a move to touch you, silently allowing his hand to rest on your thigh. It didn’t take long to reach their apartment. Once inside Gojo was eager to give you the full tour of your new living space, 

“This is the living room, we watch movies and relax there. This is the kitchen where we eat. This is the guest bathroom. Oh! And this is the bedroom. You’ll be sleeping here with us.” You were at Gojo’s heels the entire time, joyfully following him and experiencing your new home. 

“Hmm… according to the schedule the shelter had you on, it’s about time for you to eat dinner. Are you hungry?” Nanami asked looking up from the papers in his hand. Your tail halted its back and forth motion, taking in his words before it resumed its wagging. You nodded your head, bringing your hand to your tummy to emphasize your hunger. 

“Alright then, let’s fix that.” Nanami made his way back to the kitchen and pulled out the leftovers from last night. As he heated them up for the three of you, Gojo lead you to the table and promptly pulled you onto his lap. It didn’t take Nanami very long to prepare the food, and soon he was setting down two full plates for them, and just one bowl of plain rice for you.

“The instructions said to stick to plain food for the first few days to make sure that the stress of adjusting to a new environment, your doesn’t upset your stomach,” Nanami explained noticing your pouty expression at the dull meal. 

“Cheer up puppy,” Gojo chimed in, “close your eyes and I’ll feed it to you so you can pretend it’s something yummy.” You obliged, closing your eyes and opening your mouth allowing Gojo to feed you. Nanami watched as his husband praised you for eating all your food like the good girl you were. Not too long after finishing the rice, you felt yourself growing a bit tired. You were still on Gojo’s lap as he ate his food, and you took advantage of your position. Nuzzling your nose into his neck before resting your head on his shoulder and falling asleep. Gojo had to contain his excitement as not to wake you once he realized what had happened.  

“Look at her,” Gojo whispered with glee to Nanami. 

“She’s definitely adorable.” Nanami agreed, standing up after taking one last look last you as began clearing the plates. After he finished cleaning up, he made his way back to his lover who had remained in the exact same position as not to disturb you. 

“Here, let me take her.” Nanami moved to lift you off Gojo, cradling you to him in bridal position. He carefully started walking to the bedroom, Gojo following behind him. The way your hand took hold of Nanami’s suit jacket as he carried you was enough to make him melt. Gojo pulled back the covers on the bed and Nanami gently laid you down on the mattress. He had to remove the hand of yours that was gripping him and guided it down with the rest of you. The two of them changed quickly so they could join you in the bed. As soon as Gojo was changed he made his way to your side, wrapping his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest. Nanami followed his lead and laid on the other side of you on his back. What he was not expecting was you to wiggle away from Gojo in your sleep and cling to his chest. Gojo frowned, 

“That’s not fair, she’s supposed to love me more.”

[theres-a-goldensky]

30 More The Untamed Fic Recs

Here we go again. Another Wangxian rec list. Are you bored of me yet?

Were these recs helpful to you? If so, you can check out my other Wangxian rec posts:

Part 1 - 40 recs

Part 2 - 23 recs

Part 3 - 23 recs

As ever, feel free to reblog.

You can also head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

1. say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn - ~69,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian after he adopts a small A-Yuan, because Wei Wuxian also has a past with him. Lots of adorable family feelings and emotional hurt/comfort.

As often happened, Wei Ying’s voice preceded his entrance, calling to his co-worker through the open door, “Frankie, they forgot to order spoons again, can you hold down the fort a little longer while I —”

Lan Wangji was already looking to his entrance, head turning as if magnetized toward the voice, so he saw the moment when Wei Ying’s eyes landed on A-Yuan and the smile fell from his face. He looked stricken, and Lan Wangji immediately looked to his son in alarm. A-Yuan seemed fine. His small eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown as he looked back at Wei Ying, but that wasn’t surprising, given the expression on Wei Ying’s face. Lan Wangji had seen that face beaming, laughing, whining, wheedling, and occasionally angry, but never like this. He looked blank and hollow and it stirred something fierce in Lan Wangji: he wanted to rise up and obliterate whatever was making him look like that. Then his eyes lifted to Lan Wangji and there was a flash of something almost like betrayal, before he pressed his lips together and turned his back.

“I’m going to run out to the store and get spoons,” he said in a flat voice to his co-worker, and left without looking their way again.

2. the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships - ~41,000 words, mature - This is an AU of the novel where Wei Wuxian puts two and two together when Lan Zhan sneaks that kiss from him. It changes a lot of things.

Against his own will, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Wangji’s hands. They were… certainly large enough that one of them could wrap around both of his wrists. And Lan Wangji was certainly strong enough, tall enough, broad-shouldered enough to bodily pin him against the trunk of a tree with no chance of him breaking free. Lan Wangji was the first person he’d come across in his slow comb through the vicinity of where he’d been so headily kissed.

Wei Wuxian drew a sharp breath. There was a connection to be made here. He didn’t think he was crazy enough to make it. Perhaps he truly was going slightly insane with demonic cultivation if he could believe Lan Wangji, the paragon of virtue and respectability, who lived unflinchingly under Gusu Lan’s three thousand edicts, who had at best only tolerated his presence as children, would sneak up to him while he was blindfolded, pin him against a tree, and steal a kiss from him in broad daylight.

3. and his wanting grows teeth by yukla - ~25,000 words, teen - This is a very interesting AU where Lan Zhan is a traveling cultivator and runs into Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs looking for shelter during a snowstorm. No spoilers, but this fic goes to a pretty dark place that genuinely shocked me, but I enjoyed. (Still ends well though.)

Without further ado, they are hustled past the entrance and into a smaller greeting area. Huang-bobo approaches the brazier in the center with his hands outstretched, warming his fingers in the heat, but Lan Wangji hangs back. As he carefully brushes the snow free from his shoulders, he feels the burn of a curious gaze trailing up and down his body, lingering at the guqin still strapped to his back; when the sensation pauses at his face and stays there, he lifts his head.

The boy with the ribbon lights up at the eye contact, flashes another dazzling smile, and gives a little wave.

“You must be new here,” he whispers, something like laughter threaded into his voice, eyes scrunching into winking half-moons. “All dressed up in white like that! You might lose yourself in the snowstorm!”

Something stirs to life in Lan Wangji’s chest. It’s—uncomfortable, he decides, and so he steps away. Teasing should not be encouraged with a response.

4. Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller - ~15,000 words, not rated - After Wei Ying's death, his spirit seems to linger. The story is told from Lan Xichen's point of view. I love an outsider point of view. I also love the way the author fleshes out his character as well.

Lan Xichen means to force his way inside, angry ghost of the Yiling Patriarch or no, but then his brother lets out slow breath, settling, the pain easing from his face as he falls back into a more peaceful sleep.

His hair is moving on its own, so subtly Lan Xichen might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at Wangji so intently. It’s like someone’s running their hand through his hair.

The window frosts over suddenly, thick enough that he can’t see through it. Anxiety spikes through him so quickly he’s nauseous with it, but then the frost melts away and the opening notes of Healing start up again.

He can’t tell if it’s a warning or not. Maybe it’s just an acknowledgement. Wei Wuxian knows he’s there.

5. **leading tone by silencemostofall - ~32,000 words, general - This is a modern AU set in a world where people who love you leave a mark of color on you the first time you touch. Wei Wuxian has no color on him. So much emotional hurt/comfort. So much of Wei Wuxian's terrible self-esteem.

He can cover up his palms with his gloves, so that the blankness does not draw stares. But he has no marks on his fingertips, which he cannot easily hide, and none visible on his face or neck, the blankness of which is even more difficult to hide. People look at him and, with a single glance, understand the single most devastating truth that he knows about himself.

They assume that he does not have very many marks. He may be an eccentric, dramatic person, but the likelihood that an individual has all of their marks on, say, their feet or their torso or other places that are not immediately obvious-- that probability goes down as your number of marks increases. He can laugh as much as he wants about how he loves touching people for the first time with odd places, like the knee or the elbow, but it doesn't quite mask the feeling of other that he knows he exudes.

They assume that he does not have a lot of marks. This, while a heavy weight, is not unbearably so. It is okay that they think he is not much loved. It chafes a bit, and feels occasionally like something he has to furiously push down within himself, but it is not unbearable. What would be unbearable is if they knew the truth: that he does not just have very few marks, but none. That he is simply an individual who is not loved at all.

6. **pastel by antebunny - ~7,000 words, gen - This is a remix work of the above fic. It's from Lan Zhan's point of view and just different enough to be interesting. Still lots of emotional hurt/comfort. I love this concept a whole lot, and both of these fics are great.

It’s a simmering day in May, and Wei Ying is wearing long sleeves, long pants, and gloves.

His choice of dress isn’t unusual for many reasons. For one, there’s plenty of people who don’t like strangers seeing their soulmarks. There’s plenty of people who wish to keep them private by covering them up. For another, Wei Ying spends most of his day in various chilly computer science department rooms, He could just be wearing long sleeves for that.

7. one good thing by Yuu_chi - ~27,000 words, teen - Wei Wuxian has died (or did he??) and is haunting his old home. Lan Zhan moves in. This story has a happy ending! And so much yearning!

To the flowers struggling to grow on the other side of the glass, he says, “We’re getting a new roommate. Well, I’m getting a new roommate - you’re getting somebody who might actually be able to water you for a change.” The flowers outside sway a little in the breeze, and Wei Wuxian nods contemplatively. “He can’t be any worse than the last guy who lived here. Remember when I spooked him while he was cooking and he nearly burnt the house down? Of course you don’t. You’re fucking foliage, your memory is worse than mine. I remember though, so it’s cool.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him and Wei Wuxian looks up to see the stranger has entered the kitchen, setting the last of the boxes down on the table. Disgustingly neat handwriting declares the box kitchen - homeware. The stranger carefully brushes his hair back from his face and, without so much as a second of hesitation, cracks open the box and begins unpacking.

“Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?” Wei Wuxian marvels. “You literally just got here - who cares about unpacking? Sit down for a moment, breathe, have something to eat. It’s not going anywhere.”

8. with you, I am home by tellthemstories - ~47,000 words, mature - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is being forced to return home to entertain marriage proposals. So naturally instead he "convinces" Lan Zhan to pretend to date him. I love a good fake dating fic, and this one hits all the right beats.

Lan Zhan does that almost-smile thing that Wei Wuxian takes to mean he’s happy, or at the very least not-mad. “You don’t have any money.”

“Not true. I have the money from our last job, when we settled the vengeful spirit for the flower shop girl.” (He doesn’t. They have Lan Zhan’s money. Wei Wuxian spent his on a pack of loquats and three bottles of Emperor’s Smile wine.)

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “Do it for me.”

Thinking back on it two weeks later, standing alone in the middle of Jin Ling’s graduation banquet and watching Lan Zhan walk away from him, Wei Wuxian realises that this, this was the moment when he should have known. He should have realised in the way Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate or negotiate and just says with that half-fond, half-exasperated tone he gets sometimes, “Fine.”

9. and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen - ~11,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying can't find Lan Zhan, but hey, there happens to be a rabbit here instead. Features a very slow Wei Ying, emotional hurt/comfort and accidental love confessions.

Immediately, his heart settles and he grins down at his new friend. “Oh, hello there,” he coos, reaching out to pet the fluffy ears. The bunny is very, very still under his hand.

“Did Lan Zhan bring you today?,” he continues cooing. “I’m sorry I missed that, but your Dad didn’t tell me he was bringing you.”

Lan Zhan rarely brings his rabbits to work since they are as tolerant of crowds and unnecessary noise as he is. They were probably relevant to today’s lesson but…

Wei Ying frowns. “Why would he leave you alone? And where is your cage?”

10. how, or when, or from where by sarahyyy - ~10,000 words, gen - Wei Ying wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and can't remember the last few years of his life, including his best friend and the guy he's in love with.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes so hard Wei Wuxian is surprised his eyeballs don’t just fall out of his eye sockets. “That’s the worst part. He did. Whatever mating ritual you both have going on is so fucking weird, Wei Wuxian.” He snorts. “If you’d stayed asleep for any longer, I’d have lost my shit and thrown my myself out a window just so I wouldn’t have to talk to Lan Wangji again.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “Is this a good time to ask who Lan Wangji is?”

Jiang Cheng glares at him. “Your Lan Zhan,” he says, annoyed. Wei Wuxian must look as confused as he feels, because Jiang Cheng’s annoyance bleeds out into concern. “Your Lan er-gege? Your soulmate, Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No bells are ringing.”

11. ** a shared plate by yukla - ~26,000 words, teen - This is an absolutely gorgeous fic about Wei Wuxian traveling the world post-canon to rediscover himself and restore his faith in humanity and eventually find his way back to Lan Zhan. The whole thing is great, but the last two chapters are just *chef's kiss*

Lan Zhan,

Just as the mountains stand unchanging and the green rivers flow ceaselessly, we will meet again — and between then and now, you cannot hope to avoid my letters, either! Haha! Lan Zhan, I’ve seen so many things and met so many people, and it’s only been a month!

I miss you already

It’s so hot that I find myself missing the wind in Gusu’s mountains. Your poor Wei Ying is I’m melting away, Lan Zhan...

I’m realizing now, sixteen years is a long time to be away — the world is vast, and quite a bit different than I remembered. And in sixteen years, a child can also grow up into a man! It’s your job to catch me up on A-Yuan’s fun childhood stories! I do remember hearing something about a pile of rabbits...

12. with your arms outstretched to me by annemari - ~14,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan finally gets up the nerve to ask Wei Ying on a date, but things don't go as expected. Features emotional hurt/comfort (are we sensing a theme with these recs??) and just regular hurt/comfort.

"Oh, man, I was hoping you had some water with you," Wei Ying says. "I totally forgot to bring any for myself. Stupid of me."

"There is enough for both of us," Lan Wangji says. He has another bigger bottle in the car, as well.

Wei Ying hums but he only takes a few sips. He presses it back into Lan Wangji's hand. "I don't need any more."

Lan Wangji is considering arguing, but then Wei Ying shifts a bit, moving his ankle, and gasps very, very quietly.

13. ** A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart - ~22,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian has finished traveling and returned to the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan. But their lives never do run smoothly.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, recognizing him after a moment. His heart slams against his rib cage. “Where is Lan Zhan? What’s happened?”

Lan Jingyi flaps a hand at him, gulping air. Wei Wuxian hands him the water, and leans back against Little Apple’s side as he waits impatiently for the boy to get his breath back.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Jingyi gasps, just as Wei Wuxian is about to throttle a proper answer out of him. “Hanguang Jun was in such a state when he woke up, we didn’t know if you’d come and gone already.”

“Where is he, Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, as evenly as he can. “What happened?”

14. So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend - ~14,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel extraordinary pain unless he's touching Lan Zhan. Yet more of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues and Lan Zhan's steadfast devotion.

“Are you hurt, Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks, pressing his hand to Wei Ying’s forehead to feel his temperature. There is no fever, but that doesn’t do much to mitigate Lan Wangji’s worries.

“No—I’m not hurt,” says Wei Ying, sagging forward to lean his weight into Lan Wangji’s hand like he can’t help himself.

It’s so strange—Lan Wangji can feel what Wei Ying is feeling. Although the relief is still very profound, wisps of other things are making themselves known; happiness; wistfulness; guilt. It’s all so fleeting that Lan Wangji can’t even begin to deduce what has provoked those feelings, but he wishes he knew their source.

15. puzzle pieces by Anonymous - ~6,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are roommates, and Wei Ying has started borrowing Lan Zhan's clothes.

“Hm? Oh.” With sleepy eyes that does— things to Lan Zhan’s heart, he blinks and tugs at the lower hem of the shirt, which is riding just above the curve of his thighs. Does Lan Zhan’s mouth water? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. “Ah, yeah, sorry. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ He blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that Lan Zhan wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks. But he can’t say that, and his tongue doesn’t know how to say anything else. So he stays silent.

“Oh,” Wei Ying says after a moment. “If you—oh, damn, I should’ve known, this is like real silk, must’ve been super expensive. Fuck. Okay, here, uh, I’ll take it off—“

16. ** Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl - ~60,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Ying is trying to be a good brother and get Jiang Cheng laid. Somehow this plan involves pretending to date Lan Zhan.

"I won't!" Wei Ying insists. "I'll ask out someone...high stakes. I'll find someone. I'll...okay, how's this? I swear that I'll ask someone out and keep at it for at least two dates."

"No."

"Three dates."

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, five. That's fair! That's more than fair! One person, five dates." He points at Jiang Cheng. "You have to do it, too. That's how a pact works."

Jiang Cheng stares at him. "Five dates," he says flatly. "Five. And yours can't be Nie Huaisang."

17. i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) - ~43,000 words, explicit - This is a Modern AU and a Cherry Magic AU! (Side note: GO WATCH CHERRY MAGIC IF YOU HAVEN'T.) But in short, Wei Ying turns 30 without losing his virginity and gets the power to hear people's thoughts when he touches them. He gets more than he bargained for with Lan Zhan. The author does a good job of translating the story to these characters. Wei Ying is not forced to be like Adachi, the main character of Cherry Magic. He's still himself, and the same goes for Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s voice is so clear, so sudden that it’s as though it’s spoken, the slice of a sharp object through velvet.

He’s touching me.

Wei Ying startles for a moment, wonders if he’d somehow heard his own thoughts instead, but — no, that had definitely been Lan Zhan’s steady, factual baritone, loud and clear.

God, this is still so weird. It still doesn’t seem totally real. But how else can he account for hearing Lan Zhan’s voice in his head, as clearly as if he’d spoken to Wei Ying directly?

18. like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar - ~37,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are roommates, and Lan Zhan just finds himself wanting to take care of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s roommate. Is a problem.

He doesn’t get an answer to the roommate problem until the next morning, when Lan Xichen texts him telling him that the apartment he’d suggested (and helped pay rent for) to Lan Wangji said in the small text that it’d be two people per apartment, the second bedroom wasn’t actually a guest bedroom, sorry, Wangji, you can move in with me if you want, I have space —

No. Thank you for your kind offer, Brother, but I will be quite fine, Lan Wangji texts back.

19. ** some impulse of delight by handclaps - ~20,000 words, explicit - College AU where Wei Ying decides he needs to help Lan Zhan get used to touching people. Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying is dumb and in love. Lan Zhan is less dumb, but still as in love.

Lan Zhan shakes his head and fumbles, tries to push the cotton wool into Wei Wuxian’s hand.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, realising. “Touching people, I know.”

He feels dumb. He thought he’d worn Lan Zhan down more than this, that they were friends now and that his whole no touching thing was mostly overcome. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand easily, right? He looks down at his belly full of scratches, dabbing at them moodily.

“Sorry,” he says, again.

Lan Zhan makes some kind of noise, but he is busy packing the first aid kit back, placing everything exactly where it was before.

“Lan Zhan, you’re going to have to do something about this,” Wei Wuxian complains. “I know you don’t like touching people and usually it plays as a kind of gentlemanly thing, but what about emergencies?”

20. And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene - ~43,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian returns after a year of traveling and rejoins Lan Zhan in the Cloud Recesses. He's doing a good job of pining and ignoring the obvious. Look, at this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm a sucker for stories where Wei Wuxian deals with his ~*~issues~*~ and Lan Zhan takes care of him, whether he asks for it or not. This story has lots of that. I also enjoyed the case fic aspect of it.

“I do, I think,” Wei Wuxian admits. “Would be nice to see his face again after so long. And at least this time, I’m going to show up draped in finery. What do you think, Lan Zhan? I can’t possibly disgrace him—or you—wearing a cloak like that.”

“You could never disgrace me,” Lan Wangji says gently, that soft, affectionate look back on his face.

Wei Wuxian grins, warmed to the tips of his toes.

“I’ll remind you of that later. The next time I’m three jars deep and feeling especially shameless, you’ll have to remember those words, Lan Er-gege.”

“Of course,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian smiles some more, overwhelmed by fondness.

21. darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter - ~7,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian really, really wants Lan Zhan to call him 'gege'. Lan Zhan knows a trump card when he sees one.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

Lan Wangji knows he will not stop, regardless of what he calls him. Still, he thinks about it. If there really is a way to make Wei Wuxian stop, should he not consider it? He doesn’t have any real interest in curbing his husband’s insatiable mischievousness, but he does like knowing things about him—everything there is to know.

If there’s something that persuasive in the world, that it can bring Wei Wuxian into submission when no one is under threat, could he stop himself from seeking it?

22. your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - ~11,000 words, gen - Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui fic with the Wangxian in the background. Lan Sizhui wants another dad and Wei Wuxian wants a son, they just don't know how to explain that to each other.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

Lan Sizhui tucks his chin into his uncle’s shoulder, and lets his eyes fall closed.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Wen Ning whispers to him kindly.

Lan Sizhui takes a deep breath, and takes stock of all his aches, his ringing ear, his hollow chest, the way he had selfishly wanted Wei Wuxian to keep speaking to him in that careful voice, like he was just a child to be soothed and there was no real danger. How dangerous, to pretend. “No,” he lies. “It doesn’t hurt that much at all.”

23. when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool - ~26,000 words, teen - AU where Lan Zhan with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's one-month celebration. Things go down, and it leads to Lan Zhan discovering Wei Wuxian's missing golden core. This obviously will not do, and oh look, the best doctor in the world just happens to be right here.

“How—“ Lan Wangji chokes. “His core —?” He looks at Wen Ning, half accusatory in his shock. “Jin Zixun could not have—“

“No, no!” Wen Ning says, holding out his hands. “He hasn’t had one for years, don’t worry!”

This is not as reassuring as Wen Ning seems to think.

“Please explain,” Lan Wangji says, pained. He feels for Wei Wuxian’s pulse instead; in the absence of a golden core, it will have to do as reassurance that he’s still alive.

Wen Ning is so anxious that the story comes out in a ramble, out of order. Lan Wangji wants him to hurry up, but he’s also not confident in his own ability to speak, so he just keeps quiet and lets him talk. His heart feels as if it’s about to fall from his chest, beating nearly twice as fast as Wei Wuxian’s does under his fingers.

24. A Match in the Making by lareine - ~30,000 words, teen - A Modern AU where Wei Wuxian sees his single and bad ass friend Lan Zhan and his single and bad ass friend Mianmian and gets some very dumb ideas.

To return to the point: Lan Zhan was peak adulting. Mianmian was peak adulting. And if they were both at the peak, then they were on the same level. What level? That mysterious level thing that everyone mentioned when it came to dating.

Whatever level it was, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were on it together. Wei Ying nodded to himself. So, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were allowed to date each other. The next question was: were they compatible? Did they have chemistry or whatever the fuck people called it?

25. Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo - ~16,000 words, explicit - Lan Zhan gets cursed to say whatever he's thinking. So his worst nightmare. Mutual pining, first time, all good stuff.

Lan Wangji freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, lifting his eyes to stare at Wei Ying.

"I know! Just completely paralyzed." Wei Ying mimes being still as a board. "I don't know how long I lay there. It must have been two days at least. Good thing for Little Apple. He wandered back to the village when he got hungry, and eventually a few of them got brave enough to come look for me. When they rolled me over, the figure fell out of my hand and I could move again. Cunning little thing." He shakes his head. "I was weak as a kitten for a little while after they took me back to the village, and by the time I recovered, they'd burned the whole place to the ground. Such a waste."

Lan Wangji slowly lowers his chopsticks, heart racing unpleasantly. In his head, a picture of Wei Ying slowly wasting to death alone in the middle of the woods, with Lan Wangji a hundred miles away and none the wiser.

26. Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller - 13,000 words, no rating - Lan Zhan wants to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. There are some things he definitely didn't realize about Wei Ying.

“He has a life here,” he says down the line. He doesn’t say that he has a life here too, one he likes a lot more than the one he had before. He misses home. He’d miss Wei Ying more. But he doesn’t say that, doesn’t say how vibrant he is and how beautiful and how little interest Lan Zhan has at seeing him among the high society he grew up with.

“Well, your life is here, Wangji,” his brother says. “You can’t stay away from home forever. You’re going to have to see how he does with the rest of us sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.”

It might as well be never, as far as he’s concerned. His family can meet Wei Ying at their wedding.

“I’ll ask,” he says.

Wei Ying has no interest in cultivation politics. They’re horrible, the five clans have an iron tight alliance that’s thirty seconds away from collapsing in on itself the moment someone from one sect steps on another sect’s toes. It’s the worst and he hates it. Surely even just the idea of it will be so horrifying to Wei Ying that Lan Zhan will be able to tell his brother no.

27. just our hands clasped so tight by electrum ~4,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan really, really, really just wants to give Wei Ying everything he wants.

“Despite your best efforts,” Wei Wuxian agrees. He shakes his head in mock-dismay. “How much longer do you think that will last if you keep buying everything I look at?” When this, too, fails to soften Lan Zhan’s resolve, he tries a different tactic. “We couldn’t even afford potatoes,” he says. “Back when I was with the Wens, at the Burial Mounds. Only radishes! If I survived that, I can certainly survive without another pretty comb.”

Lan Zhan’s expression is at once unmoved and yet somehow stricken. “I would have bought Wei Ying potatoes,” he says, like Wei Wuxian doesn’t know, by this point, that Lan Zhan would buy him anything. “If I had known…”

28. ** Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller - ~64,000 words, no rating - Jin Ling & Wei Wuxian with Wangxian in the background. Jin Ling is the best boy! And as he tries to rehabilitate his sect and his family and keep himself alive at the same time, he realizes, horrifyingly, that he has to be the mature one.

29. ** an act too often neglected by Ariaste - Lan Xichen / Meng Yao, ~61,000 words, explicit - The Wangxian is in the background here, but the main story is about Lan Xichen meeting Meng Yao on a dating app and getting immediately dickmatized. Meanwhile. Meng Yao refuses to be won over by Lan Xichen's charm. It goes as well as you'd expect for him.

The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

Lan Xichen feels a low simmer of arousal kindle in the pit of his stomach, and he gazes at that word-- demanding --for nearly as long as he’d stared at the photograph. He swipes right.

A few minutes later, a notification pops up: < Hm, the size of your hands is promising.

This is familiar. This is the flirtation stage. Lan Xichen knows the steps to the dance.

30. My Land Beneath Me by longleggedgit - ~30,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is cast out of his sect and out of China to America. And Lan Zhan just...follows.

Lan Zhan always waited for his tea to cool before drinking, which meant he had nothing to do but give Wei Wuxian a judgmental look. “No more McDonald’s.”

“You’re just bitter because you get indigestion from anything that actually tastes good,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

Because Lan Zhan was insufferably mature and patient, he didn’t rise to the bait. “We have time to stop somewhere before class,” he said.

“Fine. But you’re paying this time.”

It was a bad joke, and predictably, fell flat; Lan Zhan was, after all, paying for everything, every time. Wei Wuxian frowned into his mug.

“You know,” he said, after another swallow, “you really don’t have to be here. I’m going to figure something out.”

*

Interested in 86 more The Untamed fic recs?

Part 1 - 40 recs Part 2 - 23 recs Part 3 - 23 recs

[harrywritingsbyme]

Hi would you mind writing a short lil something about Harry and Reader turning bubs‘ room into a big boy room and getting kind of emotional getting rid/storing away all his baby stuff? That last ask was so cute 🥺

Growing Up

Based Off Of This Ask

A/N: So I just wanted to write something. So I wrote some dad!Harry fluff for y’all bc this concept was too cute and I just loved it so much. It’s just a little blurb, that kinda gives me a head cannon type of vibe for some reason...so I hope it doesn’t suck lmao! enjoy🥺🥰

Your little boy was growing up so fast. It was almost as if you had blinked and the time just passed you both by. You and Harry could vividly remember the day you two found out that you were expecting, when bubs was just a tiny bean in your stomach. The both of you were beyond happy in that moment. You were gleefully jumping around the bedroom and you two let the joy filled tears from the amazing news flow from your eyes as you celebrated this monumental moment in you guys’ family and life together. 

Over the course of the nine or so months following that day, you and Harry happily watched as your baby boy (and you for that matter) grew. You and Harry got to see your baby at your scheduled ultrasounds and you watched him transform from a little dot on the screen to a fully formed baby with ten fingers and toes along with a miniature version of Harry’s nose. The two of you felt bubs growing too. When you felt yourself getting bigger, your son was getting bigger as well. Along with the increase in the amount of weight forming in your midsection, you could feel your son moving around too. As you became farther along in your pregnancy, you could feel your baby boy moving around in your stomach more and more. There were so many times where bubs would move around and kick you, to which you’d let out a sharp wince and Harry would softly yet “sternly” reprimand his son letting him know that it wasn’t nice to kick his mommy. But even though you could definitely go without a swift kick to your ribs, you couldn’t stop the little smile from spreading across your face once you got over the initial pain of it all. You were so happy to feel that your baby boy was growing and healthy, and you were beyond excited to see him. 

Along with a couple of very memorable days throughout your pregnancy, and the day you found out that you were expecting, the day you finally gave birth was definitely a day that would always remain clear at the forefront of you and Harry’s minds. After an epidural(that was hardly effective in your opinion), hours upon hours of being in labor, a lot of tears, and some strong screams at Harry, the two of you finally welcomed your baby boy into the world. He was absolutely perfect and everything you and Harry had envisioned. Even though he was much bigger than the tiny dot on the screen at the very early stage of your pregnancy, he was still incredibly tiny. Especially when he was in Harry’s arms. The two of you soaked up every moment with your baby boy and neither of you wanted him to grow up and not be the little baby that fit perfectly in your arms. Even when he kept the two of you up at night and into the wee hours of the morning, you and Harry never wanted him to grow up.

But that’s exactly what he did. Again, it was like the two of you blinked and the time just blew right past you both. One moment he was the tiny little human that found his home in your belly and then in your arms. And the next he was a two and a half year old carbon copy of Harry with a sprinkle of you in the mix that had a big and amazing personality of his own. He was without a doubt you and Harry’s favorite person in the world and there weren’t enough words in the world to describe how much love you two had for that little boy. But even though this was the case, you and Harry couldn’t help but miss that little baby you brought home two and a half years ago.

And since he was no longer a baby anymore, it was time for bubs to get his first big boy room. 

He’d already outgrown so many of the clothes you and Harry had gotten him along with the toys he had. The last thing on the outgrown list was the crib. And once that was finally crossed off the list, it meant that he’d finally outgrown everything. Which meant that it was time to give him a room that best suited him and his growth along with his interests. You and Harry noticed that bubs had taken a great interest in dinosaurs. From the toys he wanted and played with to the books he wanted to read to his favorite pajamas, everything was dinosaurs. So that’s what you and Harry decided to play off of when building your sons new room. The two of you wanted to create a dinosaur oasis for him and you wanted it to be everything that the toddler could possibly want. For almost four months you and Harry bought all of the furniture and decor that fit perfectly into the dinosaur theme the two of you had envisioned. And as it all came in, the two of you were able to perfectly and seamlessly put the room together. Every once in a while having a little hiccup in the process like not centering a nail on the wall or something, but nothing major. 

Now while you and Harry were loving the project and enjoyed doing this for your son, it was still a really hard process for you both. Particularly for Harry though. As the two of you got closer to being done with the new room, you and Harry began packing up bubs’ baby clothes and things that he grew out of so that you could donate them and make space for the new things you two had gotten for him. As you two packed though, Harry was incredibly sad. While he loved his little man who ran around and was just full of life and energy, he missed his little baby. He couldn’t pick him up and have him all snug and tucked into his arms the same way he used to. Bubs was bigger and all of that was sinking in now as Harry packed up all of the small clothes and toys. With everything that was placed into the container, a little coo or memory left Harry’s mouth. He couldn’t stop himself from getting a little emotional at the fact that his baby was now a big boy. The both of you were incredibly sad that he was growing up so fast. 

And even though it was an incredibly sad thing to think about, what made both you and Harry happy about it all was the big smile and shouts of amazement that came from your son once you two revealed the room to him. He was absolutely in love with his new big boy bed and all of the dinosaur pictures and decor on the walls, and the toys, and the dinosaur nightlight you two had gotten for him. He ran around the room looking at everything and taking it all in and just loving what his mommy and daddy put together for him. He couldn’t stop saying the cutest little thank you’s which only melted you and Harry even more. Seeing bubs so happy made you and Harry beyond happy and it made the whole growing up thing a bit easier. 

After showing some of the things he couldn’t immediately see in his new room and playing with him a bit, you and Harry decided to step out and let bubs enjoy his new room for a little bit while you two continued with cleaning out his old room. The two of you gave the little boy a ton of squeezes and kisses before leaving him alone with his toys and getting back to packing all the baby stuff up. You and Harry had a set up on the floor so the two of you got back down there and went back to folding and looking through things. After a little while though, Harry couldn’t do it anymore. He was too overcome with the fact that his baby boy was getting bigger and now had his first big boy room. All of it was just too much for him. Keeping the little clothing item in his hand, Harry turns himself around and lays down on the floor, resting his head in your lap and causing you to turn your attention onto him. 

“What’s going on babe?” You ask, finishing up the fold on the item in your hands before giving him your full attention. 

“M’sad” Harry mumbles with a big pout spread across his face. 

“Why baby?” You coo, bringing one of your hands to the side of his face and the other to his hair. 

“Because! Our baby isn’t a baby anymore.” Harry whines dramatically. 

“It’s not like he’s 30 or something with a wife and kid of his own...you are.” You joke, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Y/n!” He whines. 

“Okay fine! I hate it when you’re all mopey and sad, so don’t be. I’m sad too, but it’ll be okay. No matter how big he gets, he’ll always be our baby.”

“I know, I just can’t stop thinking about how small he was when we brought him home and how he really needed us. Now he’s this little person who isn’t as small and who is starting to not need us. He’s his own little person.” He explains. 

“Well he is his own little person. But he’s only two and a half, so he’ll be needing us for a good while Harry.” You reassure him with a little laugh, trying your best to comfort your very emotional husband. “What will make you feel better? What’s gonna make my baby feel better?” You coo, softly pinching his cheek in the process. 

“Make another baby?” He proposes, turning is head up towards you. 

“You know that takes both of us right?” You ask sarcastically, trying your hardest to not roll your eyes at him. 

“If I’m not mistaken, I remember you being a big fan of the baby making process.” He reminds you smugly. 

“Maybe.”

“See! Plus we’ve talked about it a couple times, so it’s the perfect time.” He says happily in your lap. “If we put bubs down for his nap now, we can have our second bubby cooking in there by dinner.” He says optimistically, bringing a hand up to your currently empty stomach. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works Harry.” You deadpan, trying to hold back your laughs from how happy and cute he was in this moment. 

“Who cares?! It never hurts to try!!” Harry continues on. “Are you in?” He asks hopefully. 

“Let’s make another baby then.” You giggle, giving in to the idea. From the outside looking in, it may have looked like a bit of a spur of the moment thing. But in actuality, you were already thinking of possibly adding another member to the Styles family. You too were sad at the idea of your little boy growing up. And on top of that, you wanted him to have a sibling and someone to play with. So it all kind of worked out. Bubs was going to be turning three soon and you and Harry were really thinking and talking about another baby so it was perfect. You just hoped that you wouldn’t be popping out another baby as each of the other kids were growing up. You were kind of crossing your fingers that going forward a big boy bed didn’t come with the quest of having another baby. 

Maybe after baby number two harry wouldn’t be so sad about growing up. 

Masterlist

[tobesobri]

When the Lights Go Out (Halloween fic; 8k)

𝖆/𝖓: first off, happy Halloween yall! This is my second favorite holiday and so I really wanted to get something up in celebration of it! I’ve talked a lot on here about having trouble with writing recently and so I do what I normally do with writer’s block and I just leave what I’m stuck on and go off to write something random, which is what this ended up being. So, my writing style is definitely different and maybe not great, but this is just for fun so I don’t care! I still hope you enjoy! There’s spookiness (not too much), enemies (frenemies) to lovers, pumpkin carving, smut, alcohol consumption, and giant skeletons 💀 (oh and Harry dressed as Tarzan 🥵)

my masterlist  🎃 my askbox

𝕸ost people’s Halloween traditions weren’t too complicated; usually involving cult-favorite scary movies—ranging from Halloweentown to Nightmare on Elm Street—handing out Snickers and Kit-Kats to tiny trick-or-treaters, or just getting wasted at a friend’s haunted house party down the street. Their friend group, on the other hand, opted for a pumpkin carving contest every year on Halloween at Jason Hallow’s house, and, yes, his favorite holiday is Halloween because of his last name. And so, a few years ago when they were all undergrads together, he began hosting the annual carving contest at his house, in which they all paired up and, at the end of the night, whichever pair’s pumpkin came out the best—as judged by Jason, the resident Jack O’ Lantern expert—won whatever candy was leftover. That and marathons of R-rated horror flicks as well as occasional breaks to go out in the neighborhood and scare some of the kids while dressed in terrifying monster masks and slightly drunk off their asses from too much Tennessee whiskey.

Jason’s house was, hands down, the place to be in their neighborhood. Everyone who came by always wanted to join in on their festivities, and one year, they’d been just drunk enough to let a few of-age neighbors join in. This year, though, it was different. The stakes were higher. They were competing not only for the candy, but also for the much envied twelve-foot tall skeleton Jason had found at Home Depot which currently sat in his front yard amongst his other outrageous decorations. The skeleton was definitely the most noteworthy and had been the center of plenty group photos from just about every one of his neighbors since he had brought it home and especially tonight. In fact, every time the doorbell rang and he greeted another group of kids in his gory doctor costume—because Jason was in med school after all—every one of them squealed about how much they liked his skeleton. And so it almost pained him to have to give it to one of his friends after tonight, but if he’s being honest, he has nowhere to store it—he’d purchased it completely on a whim—and next year they will compete for it all over again anyway.

Tonight is also different because Harry and Y/N are not getting along. They all knew this beforehand, but simply brushed it off until they realized it was much worse than anyone had imagined. They had a horrible friendship—if one could even call it that—ever since they’d met as freshmen pre-law students six years ago. Sometimes they got along, but mostly, they bickered non-stop at each other, which all their friends took as misguided flirting. They got along for about six months once, after a drunken hookup, until, of course, Y/N hooked up with someone else and set off the volcano that was their relationship all over again. It had been calm recently with both of them needing each other’s help through their vigorous law school studies. So, a truce had been made and they tolerated each other at best. Tonight, though, the monsters had truly been unleashed and neither one of them had stopped picking at each other since they’d arrived.

It began on the street, when Harry took the spot Y/N had wanted to park in. Then at the door, when he asked her how her midterms were going and she felt like stepping on his toes until she crushed them. Which was perfectly logical since his was barefoot and mostly naked in his stupid Tarzan costume he’d recycled about four times now since they’d all known each other. He only wore it when the weather was warm, as he claimed, but they all had a suspicion he wore it so that he could watch Y/N drooling over him all night.

She wasn’t innocent either, in his defense, at least not this year when she came dressed in a sexy Beetlejuice costume, something none of them ever thought was possible. But she made it happen. She wore a too-short black and white vertical striped t-shirt dress—which had rips in all the right places, particularly across her chest—and a pair of neon green boots that were Doc Marten knock-offs she had found online. Other than that, she had spray painted the front bits of her hair a grey-green color and did her makeup to match the theme, dark purple smokey eyes and a green color used as contour. It looked good, she looked good, not that Harry would ever say that out loud.

Jason’s entire living room and dining room floors were covered with plastic tarps. He’d set up the usual fold-away tables and chairs for everyone. It was an easy clean-up job that wouldn’t leave pumpkin guts smudged into his hardwood floors or, even worse, the beige carpet in his living room. And, as always, he had a line up of various pumpkins on his kitchen counter—and the necessary kit of carving tools—ready to go. They usually didn’t start until nine-thirty or ten, once everyone arrived and had a few drinks in them and they had all agreed on what movies to watch. This year was a marathon of The Conjuring franchise, because Jason had spent way too much money on a box set and he would not be wasting them. Nobody objected anyway because the movies held a sentimental value to all of them. Every year since the beginning when a new movie came out, they all managed to go see it together, and also cause a horrible ruckus in the theater. Although they’d almost been kicked out a couple times, it was still some of the best memories together they’d ever had.

There was also that one year, when Annabelle Creation came out and Y/N and Harry were getting along on account of the LSATs, that they’d secretly gone home together. And then, of course, pretended it never happened.

That had been the second time they slept together, the second time she’d woken in his bed, with Harry’s annoyingly toned arm wrapped all the way around her, and the last as well because Harry got into a serious relationship their first year of law school and that had been the end of things.

Well… not completely the end. At least not until tonight.

“Okay we’re getting started!” Jason announced over both the music and the television, which someone turned down before Jason continued. He stood, wobbling, on one of the foldable chairs, for no other reason than the bottle of vodka in his hand. He was teetering on the edge sobriety and really didn’t give a fuck if he fell off. “Y’all know the drill! Isa’s handing out the cards. No whining. No trading. Or you’ll be disqualified.”

The cards in question were riddles that they had to match up with the answer. Half of them got the riddle card, the other half an answer card and that would determine who their partner was.

Y/N both wanted Harry as her partner and detested the idea at the same time. She was all for it because, well, he was hot dressed in nothing but his small piece of brown loincloth fabric hanging loosely on his hips. But at the same time, she knew they wouldn’t win together and she really wanted that skeleton.

The riddles were all hand-made by Jason on his computer and then laminated in his girlfriend’s school’s teacher lounge however many years ago. They all knew every answer to every riddle by now, but it was still a much more fun way to pair up than picking names out of a hat.

Y/N read her riddle twice, having absolutely no recollection of the answer to it, however—which was probably due to the alcohol she’d consumed herself within the past hour. She wasn’t all to blame, though, Harry had a lot to do with it too. She was still mad at him, for what she wasn’t sure, but she also could not stop herself from stealing glances at him and the only way to stop feeling so many confusing things about Harry was to drown it all away.

She read her riddle one last time: The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?

Her brain felt like mush after the third read and she hoped someone would find her first and give her the answer. She peeked around at people’s cards as they all tried to find their pair, some of them meeting up immediately and getting the prime pick of the pumpkins. It had dwindled down to just a few of them and she finally waltzed herself up to Harry, grabbed his card from his hand without his permission and read it.

In bold, 16-point Helvetica font, it read: A coffin.

Of course.

She rolled her eyes, shoving his card against his stupid bare chest and groaning audibly. “Figures I’m stuck with you.”

When she finally looked up at him, though, she wasn’t all that upset about her odds as she pretended to be. Not with the way his face set into a devilish, wicked, up-to-no-good look that made her want to rip him from the room and rip his useless Tarzan costume off too while she was at it.

He had also been drinking, which was made even more clear when he opened his mouth. “You’ll always be stuck with me.” And then he leaned in a little bit, his smirk widening and his eyes darkening and the sweet smell of vodka on his tongue strengthening, “Forever.”

She hated the buzzing in her stomach he caused, and hated that she liked knowing they probably would, at the very least, know each other for the rest of their lives. It had already been six years since they met and she still hadn’t managed to shake him off. And now they were finishing up law school together and getting offers to work at the same firm together. There would be no escaping him, not that she really wanted to.

The only time she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him was when he had a girlfriend. She hated seeing him in her classes, in her study groups, her circles, at her internship. He was always there, though, rubbing it in her face as she had once done to him. Hers was just a dumb hookup, partially just to spite him, and his was… well he dated the girl for entire year before they broke up and he seemed genuinely heartbroken over it. It had been serious, and Y/N had been seriously miserable the entire time. Even more so when she found out they’d split up and she just about threw a party while Harry moped around campus. She couldn’t help it, though, she’d liked him ever since they met, but then they just sort of… didn’t get along all the time.

She knew he liked her too, at least a little bit, or he’d never have slept with her twice. How much he actually liked her though was still up for debate, and so she chose keeping their weird hate-love relationship over ruining all of it by admitting her feelings for him. Plus, she liked working with him and getting his help on exams and papers too much to ruin that as well.

Y/N grabbed the third to last pumpkin, an unopened carving kit, and led the way to two lonesome chairs. They sat closest to the door, and farthest from the dining room and Jason, in their own little corner where they had enough room to stretch out given that no else had laid any claim on the other side of their table yet.

“So,” Harry began once they were settled and Y/N began opening the kit of tools, “what are we making?”

Before giving him an answer, she laid out all the tools on the table in front of them, next to their poor misshapen pumpkin, and then reached down into the side of her boot and pulled out a black sharpie; she’d learned a couple years back to start brining one. It might have been cheating, sketching her design beforehand, but Jason never outlawed it.

“I’m making Jason’s favorite Tim Burton character and you’re in charge of the guts.” She dictated confidently, slapping the sawing tool and the large orange plastic spoon in front of him so he could get started right away.

He eyed the tools for a moment, then the pumpkin, and then finally her. “Absolutely not. I’m not doing all the shit work while you do the fun stuff.”

“Thought you’d be used to that.” She half-mumbled, but he still heard her over the rest of the noise in the house. And, frankly, she was right. When they had interned together last year, she always handed off the demeaning tasks to him, like getting the coffee or making copies, while she did the much more interesting parts of the job. What she didn’t know was that she didn’t make him do anything. He always did it so she didn’t have to.  

He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, arms that her eyes—which were completely out of her control at that point—glued to immediately. He’d been working out ever since the break up and finally filled out the Tarzan costume a lot better. He’d always had a nice body, she knew that, but now… now he made her dizzy.

“I’m not doing it. Least not all by myself.”

She gave up then, mostly because she lost her will to argue against the pout of his lips and the flexing of his biceps—which weren’t ridiculously big, but they were subtle and modest and very much bigger than they had been this time last year when he’d dressed up as a shirtless baseball player. Most all of Harry’s costumes involved some level of nakedness and not much sense, but she didn’t complain too loudly. And his arms were definitely bigger now than they had been the last time she was in his bed and he was over her.

“Fine.” She groaned, grabbing the mini saw tool and then standing to begin carving a hole at the top of their pumpkin, around the stem. She made it big enough for them to be able to stick their hands inside, and then once she was finished, pulled the stem piece off and set it aside for later, chopping off some loose bits of pumpkin shreds first.

Despite his earlier protests, he was the first to dig into the pumpkin, standing as well and going hands first into the thing where he pulled out fistfuls and dumped it into a pile on the table. They went back and forth digging out the insides of the pumpkin until finally, Harry grabbed the spoon and really went in. And she didn’t even bother offering to help, and instead stared, again, at his stupid biceps and especially at his hands, which were slick from the pumpkin juice. She shuddered remembering where his hands had once been, and then pulled herself together remembering how long ago it had been and how very little interest he’d shown in picking up where they’d left off pre-girlfriend.

Once the pumpkin was fully gutted, they both sat again, and cleaned their hands off on the paper towels Jason had set up on each table.

She was the first to begin the process, sketching out the design with her sharpie of Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas. She’d carved the character before, but still needed a reference picture on her phone to get all the details right. And Harry watched her the entire time, memorizing her face for the millionth time while she concentrated, and sometimes he stared at her hands, too, hands he also found himself reminiscing over, to the point of needing to cross his legs so it wasn’t made visibly clear what he was thinking about. He was starting to regret recycling the Tarzan costume.

While they all worked, Jason answered the door and handed out candy about once every five minutes. The best part of their tradition wasn’t the pumpkin carving itself, but rather, the atmosphere. They loved the feeling, the adrenaline rush of it all. How messy everything would eventually get, how loud they all were. The anguished shouting when someone messed something up. The sounds of Thriller playing in the background mixed with the loud jump scares from the horror movies played all night long. It was heaven to any lover of Halloween (and they all loved Halloween).

She’d let Harry start the carving of the design, informing him what parts were staying and what parts needed to be cut away, before she ventured into the kitchen to grab them both a drink. On her way back, she paused for a moment, just watching Harry work over in their corner. The sight of him almost made her want to finally admit how she felt. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if he rejected her, at least then she’d know.

But then Zoe plopped down into her empty chair next to Harry and crushed everything back down like an aluminum can being recycled. She tossed back about half of her Smirnoff after Zoe had scooted closer to Harry and grazed her fingertips across his arm—the one he wasn’t using the carve the pumpkin. And at first, he ignored it, but then he set down the tool, pushed his hair back with his clean wrist and offered Zoe one of his annoying little smirks that Y/N always thought he saved just for her. But now, seeing him use it to flirt with Zoe, she felt stupid and betrayed. And stupid again for feeling betrayed.

She had no claim to him. She just had her memories, as inconvenient as they were at times. But that was nothing and it’d been so long that he showed any interest in her, in anybody, that for her to be jealous now was just pure selfishness. As much as she hated Harry sometimes, she still wanted to see him happy again.

Y/N made her way back slowly, eying what others were doing, until finally joining Harry again just as Zoe went back to her own pumpkin.

She was quiet for a moment, sipping on her drink, watching him as he got back to carving, before cleaning her throat as she finally said something, “What did Zoe want?” And she tried not to sound anything other than curious, but the way Harry glanced at her, with a raised brow, she knew she needed to be so much more subtle.

He took the other cup from her that she hadn’t drunk from and replenished his blood alcohol level. “She just asked me what I was doing after this.”

Instead of opening her mouth and being obvious, she just set her drink down and grabbed both the carving tool and the pumpkin from Harry to take over. He’d already done way more work than she had, so it was about time they switched anyway.

He eyed her curiously still, even though he allowed her to continue where he left off as he leaned back in his chair and took a break, downing what was left in his cup as she worked.

“You’re not jealous are you?” He finally asked, after a few moments to let his brain marinate in the alcohol in order to brave that question in the first place.

“No.” It was sharp. A piercing rejection he felt dig its claws deep into his heart. He couldn’t tell if she was lying or not, but if not, it hurt. More than he was willing to admit, even to himself. He wanted her to be jealous. He always did. That was part of the reason he’d gotten a girlfriend. And of course she was also part of the reason they broke up, if not all of it.

He nodded, “So it wouldn’t bother you if I went home with Zoe?”

He noticed her brief hesitation, when her hand stopped moving and she took in a breath of air, but then she settled again. “Doesn’t bother me what you do, Harry.”

Again, he nodded, still watching her just to get a sense of her reactions. Of course he had no plans on going home with Zoe. He just wanted to know. Where they stood. How Y/N felt about him. Whether she thought about their nights together as often as he did. When they were studying together and she’d shift her hair behind her shoulder and he’d get a whiff of her shampoo and be taken right back to one of those nights, and the nights that came after that when he got lost in that scent on his pillows until it eventually dissipated and left him craving more.

He tried again. One last time. If he still didn’t get the response he was hoping for, then he’d give it up and leave her alone. So, he sat forward, crossing his arms on top of the table, close enough to her now that the buzzing in her stomach reappeared even though she never braved a single glance at him. He was close enough that the smell of his cologne overtook the odor from the pumpkin. Close enough that she felt his breath on the side of her face when he spoke.

“So, I’ve just been imagining the way you’ve been looking at me all night then?” His voice was just above a whisper, and soft, caressing her ears as the sound crept its way inside of her. As it seeped into all the places the alcohol had been, although Harry was always something way more potent than whiskey or tequila. He made her head spin, made her feel everything and nothing at the same time. Made her heart flutter so much at times it hurt.

His words sunk in and all her motions stopped as she froze in place. She stopped carving their pumpkin, stopped blinking, stopped breathing. Staring blankly at their half-finished design until he was wrung out from her system completely. That never really happened, though, because he was staring at her, watching her with those glinting, impatient eyes, waiting for an answer. There wasn’t even the familiar hint of a smirk or a bit of amusement on his face anymore, either, that might have calmed her nerves. Because at least if he seemed to just be messing with her, she could play that game with him, but this was different.

He leaned forward a bit, trying to get her to look at him, to say something, anything, really. He’d be satisfied enough with her lies at this point. But he also knew the absence of an answer alone was all he really needed. He didn’t feel like he was getting ahead of himself, seeing the way her body reacted to him, by assuming that she felt, at least somewhat, the same way he did about her. Because if she’d been the one to ask if she was imagining how he’d been staring at her all night, he wouldn’t deny it.

Just as she opened her mouth, just as she had gathered enough words to form a coherent sentence, the room went dark. Pitch black, actually. The lights all around them flickering off, the television going blank, the music cutting out. And once the startled gasps and dramatic, drunken yelling had subsided, they were left in a ringing silence, so completely opposite to what they had been moments ago that it was painful for their ears to adjust to.

“What the fuck?” They heard Jason’s voice in the darkness and then, finally, a bit of light as he turned his phone’s flashlight on.

“Did the power go out everywhere?” Someone else asked.

And while everyone panicked, all Harry cared and thought about was Y/N’s hand wrapped tightly around his own on his lap. He wasn’t exactly sure when she’d grabbed for him, but once he realized she was there, he didn’t really care too much about the lights anymore. What he did care about still, however, was whether she’d ever answer his question now. If he’d ever get to hear what she was about to say just before the darkness cut her off.

A few of them stumbled about, making plans to go outside and check on things while everyone else stayed inside and waited. The room went dark for a few more moments as Jason left, but then someone else turned their flashlight on, and shined them at the ceiling so that there was at least enough light so that they didn’t have to sit in complete darkness.

If it wasn’t Halloween, the power going out wouldn’t have bothered her so much. Outages happened happened all the time. But now, in the middle of the second Annabelle movie with all sorts of other spooky shit around them, she couldn’t help but be terrified and imagine the worst. Like… what if there was a killer on the loose who had cut their power. What if the killer was chopping up Jason and the others and then eventually heading inside to do the same to all of them?

“Hey,” Harry mumbled beside her, inching closer and rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, realizing she’d grown tense when her grip on him had tightened. “You alright?”

Hearing his voice again, she let out a breath of air and tried to relax. She watched way too many scary movies and this was most definitely not one of them. Just a power outage, possibly due to everyone being home and using lots of extra electricity on their lights and decorations. She had no reason to panic. Although it could be blamed on Harry as well, if he hadn’t made her an astronomical amount of nervous just before.

She nodded until she realized Harry couldn’t even see her very well. “I’m fine.” She finally affirmed, and, to his dismay, took her hand away from his.

They sat in their own silence for a while, listening to the quiet conversations around them, particularly to Zoe and Julie who were trying to look up any information they could even though their phones were slow from the lack of Wi-Fi and service.

After a little while, she found his hand again in the dark, and this time, she wasn’t afraid from the power going out, but rather what she was about to say. Because if there was ever an opportunity to spill your guts to Harry Styles, it was in a dark room where his grassy green eyes weren’t all over you, sucking every ounce of courage from your bones.

Her voice was in a whisper, and she finally looked at him, or rather in his direction. To the outlines of his face, of his nose and his cheekbones. Even though she couldn’t find the green, she knew he was there, waiting, listening.

“You haven’t been imagining anything.”

She couldn’t quite see it, but his eyebrows had hit the ceiling and before he could question her further, she continued.

“I was miserable when you were seeing Liv and so fucking happy when you broke up.” Her voice shook, but she didn’t let that stop her, “And then miserable again because you didn’t want me. And maybe you still don’t, but it would really bother me if you went home with someone else.”

The quiet almost ate her alive for the next few seconds when he said nothing and she didn’t have his features to go off of. But then, she felt him getting closer until, finally, his lips were at her ear.

“I’ve always wanted you.”  

The buzzing was back but this time it was debilitating. Especially when he faced her and cupped his free hand along her jaw. And especially when he tilted her head back slightly to meet his lips, which had pretty good aim given their predicament. She missed the way he felt, she realized, once he was kissing her. Once he had scooted closer and released his hand from her grip on his lap. Once he grabbed up the other side of her face and pulled her closer. And then her hand was left to fend for itself on his thigh, and she, almost unconsciously, drifted her touch closer and closer and closer…

He moaned softly into her mouth when she toyed with the flimsy piece of fabric tied around his waist with her fingertips. And finally, she pulled apart from him, catching her breath before whispering, “Do you think they’d notice if we left?”

He shook his head, “Don’t think I care if they did.”

And so they were off. Trying not to draw too much attention to themselves even though she slightly tripped over the leg of the chair and he tried not to giggle too loudly while helping her. His hand fell into hers again as he led the way out of the living room, down the hall and into Jason’s guest room, closing them both off from any light source completely, not that they really cared too much about seeing each other; they just wanted to feel each other again.

And as soon as Harry had closed the door behind her, that’s exactly what they did. As she wrapped her arms around his neck; as he felt his way around her waist, he kissed her like he hadn’t kissed anyone in years. Like he was a dry, cracking desert and she was a vast river flowing through him.

He took brave steps towards the bed blindly, backing her up further into the dark room and managing to not trip over anything when he finally made it to the bed. They’d both, on separate occasions, spent the night in Jason’s guest room before, which helped when maneuvering around in the dark. For instance, Harry knew that Jason kept his secret stash of condoms in the bedside drawer. Harry had no idea why, but he was thankful for it right now, when, after laying her back on the bed, Y/N had already begun undoing his costume—with such quickness, he was sure she’d studied how the thing was connected to his body so that she knew exactly how to get if off if need be—and, within the next few seconds, tossed the flimsy Tarzan loincloth out of sight.

Which left him in just the black thong he wore underneath. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t have even bothered with it. But, when he had first gotten the costume and tried it on without anything, he imagined all the wardrobe slips and potential boners might not be in everyone’s best interests. So, he went out and bought the smallest pair of underwear he’d ever owned, tucked himself inside of them, and called it a day.

Those, too, were stripped from his body in a matter of seconds, or at least pushed down his thighs to where they no longer covered what they were intended to cover. But then she flipped them around, so that Harry was on his back this time, splayed across the bed and she was finally ridding him of the thong all together and not wasting any time getting her hands on him and he wondered, with how quick she was to get to this point, if she had been thinking about this all night. And if she had, then he would definitely have to whip out the Tarzan costume more often.

He seemed to sink into the mattress once he felt her mouth close on him, his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth hanging open involuntarily when he hit the back of her throat. He had no idea how he’d gone so long without her, or why either. Why had he been so stupid? Why did he let her think he didn’t want her? Why did he deprive the both of them of this? Of the way she felt circling her tongue around the tip of his cock, the way he knew she was looking at him even though he could physically not open his eyes or come down off his cloud long enough to tell her how good she felt. How much he missed it. How much he was probably in love with her, even if that might have been crossing some sort of line.

“Forgot how big you were,” she whispered, giggling almost shamefully after wiping her mouth on the back of her hand and giving him a break to actually breathe properly again.

“Think we both know that’s a lie.” He was out of breath already and he was right, although she wouldn’t feed his ego no matter what he said. Although she remembered his cock perfectly fine, she wasn’t exactly used to it. And maybe she had momentarily forgotten what he had hidden under his costume. It’d been two years since they slept together, and the first time it happened they’d been drunk.

She didn’t say anything else, just tried to hide the blush on her face—even though he couldn’t’ see it anyway—by taking a mouthful of him again. She didn’t let him come, though, of course, and he didn’t expect her to either. She never had before. She always led him get right to the edge, to where he was panting and writhing and digging his fingers into her hair, on the verge of screaming her name into the dark, and then she’d stop. Pull him from the back of her throat and leave him a sopping, moaning mess.

He’d somewhat recovered when she crawled on top of him and and sat on either side of his hips with her hands planted on his chest. And now that their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, she could see the curve of his lips as he smiled up at her and even the sinister little twist of his mouth just before he grabbed hold of the hem of her dress and ripped it off over her head, letting it fall onto the bed next to him. He wished they had just a little bit more light, but at the same time, it turned him on having to see with his hands instead. Having to reach up and cup her breasts in his palms and rely on his memories for a better visual than the one he currently had. And as she came down to kiss him again, there was one thing for sure he didn’t need any light or anything but his fingers to do.

He tossed her bra into the same vicinity as her dress and within seconds had his hands all over her again, and his tongue as well, wishing she was on her back so he could worship her in all the ways he desperately wanted to, but also aware that the power could flick on at any moment and he really didn’t have the time.

Not that she had asked, and maybe she just hadn’t thought of it yet, but he still, while continuing to make out with her, reached over, pulled the drawer open on the nightstand and reached inside to locate the box of condoms.

However, once he did, and he didn’t find what he was looking for, he sat up and pulled apart from her, twisting himself a bit in order to see inside the drawer. His other hand held onto her hips so she didn’t fall off of him as he searched the drawer. But, soon enough, he was laying back again, groaning as if he was in physical pain.

“There’s no condoms.” He muttered between his teeth and just that one little sentence ruined his entire night.

“It’s okay.” She assured, continuing to whisper just as he did so that no one would hear them through the thin walls. “I mean… we’re clean right? And I’m on birth control…”

He ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at her and trying to decide if it was a good idea or not. She was right, of course, but even so there was always a possibility. Even with condoms there was always that same possibility too. He knew one thing for certain. If he remembered correctly. There was absolutely no way in hell he’d be able to pull out, so that really wouldn’t even be an option either.

“If you don’t want to though, that’s fine.” She spoke again amongst his silence. It’s not like he would hate the potential consequences, and of course he would not hate feeling her without a stitch of anything in between them, he just needed to be reassured that’s what she wanted, truly.

“I do, just um… are you sure you’re okay with that?”

She nodded first and then, confidently, “Yes.” As she fell back into place over him, her lips came to his ear this time, “I want to feel you coming inside of me.”

His whole body shuddered, needing her more than he quite possibly ever had. And as she tucked her panties to the side and guided herself onto him, he would most definitely go outside and cut the lines himself if the power decided to come back on before they were finished.

“Forgot how wet you are…” He whispered, heart fluttering at the way she laughed while fucking him. He never forgot either, not quite. But feeling her again now, pooling around him, warm and snug, he again wondered why in the living hell he kept himself from her for so long. Sure, they didn’t like each other most of the time, but their first time together had been hot, drunk hate sex and ever since then he’d chased that feeling with other people, none of them ever quite adding up to her. He wondered if she thought the same. No one ever making her feel the way he did either. If, when she was with someone else, she thought of him instead.

He knew he wouldn’t last long the second she put her greedy hands on him, and so her being in control now was slightly dangerous. He wasn’t ready for it to be over, even if he was racing the clock, even if he could just take her home from here and do it all over again, properly. He didn’t want it to end as quickly as it started.

So, he flipped them back over, getting her on her back like he’d wanted to earlier. Slipping a pillow under her backside to get a better angle and letting her sink all the way through the mattress this time. He remained inside her the entire time, only making quick, shallow movements to avoid the sounds of their skin slapping against each other. But he gave up being careful about their noise level after she begged him to go faster, after he reached between them and rubbed his fingers over her clit to catch her up with him.

She tugged at his hair while he kissed her, breathlessly and without much of a second thought this time about how loud they were being. He assumed all their friends knew about them anyway, even if she chose to be ignorant to it. They all speculated about the secret hookups and the mindless flirting that was disguised as harmless bickering. So, he just stopped caring the closer and closer he got.

That was until he buried himself as far as he could inside of her, his hand wrapped around her throat the way he remembered her liking, and he felt the scream building beneath her skin, beneath his palm. Quickly, before her noises led to everyone barreling into the room to find out what was going on, he clasped his hand from her throat to her mouth instead. Holding tightly as she let it out, his eyes pouring into hers like a lake of shining emerald waters getting her to stay there in the room with him. So that she didn’t close her eyes and float away like he had before.

He titled her head to the side, kissed up her jaw to her ear. “Mm, I missed the way you sound.” He wanted to tell her how he thought about her pleads and her moans and her yells late at night when he was feeling particularly alone. When he wanted nothing but her, to either be inside of her, or to just have her there next to him. But all of that got caught in his throat, and instead, as he continued burying himself into her, he whispered like a growl in her ear, “Missed how well you take me.”

And although it made her moan, made her eyes cross and her fingernails scrape across his shoulder blades, he wanted to tell her that he missed how they fit together. How where he ended she began so seamlessly no one else could hardly compare. There had always been a seam with everyone else, with Liv, a visible divide between him and them, soldered together haphazardly. But with Y/N, it was smooth, flowing together as if they were the same person.

His hand slipped from her mouth as he began losing control, and soon she was the one having to cover the noises. Though, this time, she just simply pulled his lips to her own and felt all the vibrations escape from his throat against her skin, her teeth, her tongue. She breathed in nothing but the air from his lungs, and held onto his tightly as she began to unravel.

His moans quickened and quickened until she felt his release, warm and deep inside of her, just as her own gave way, until his body began to give out, until he was panting and no longer able to hold himself up over her. And so once they both descended from their cloud, once their wave had crashed onto the shore, he planted himself beside her, their chests in rhythm as they cough their breath.

And before either of them even managed to open their eyes or breathe steadily again, the surge of the power coming back on dimmed the haze. Their room was still dark, but light seeped under the door and the rest of their friends cheered from the other room as the music began again. And for a brief, stupid moment, Harry thought about fucking her again and letting her scream all she wanted, but that fantasy was cut short when he remembered their friends would soon realize they were missing.

“We should get back.” She mumbled. Although she made no sudden movements to get up. She even closed her eyes again, still off in another world.

And so Harry risked it, just for a few more moments, anyway, where he rolled closer to her and slid his hand up her jaw softly, pulling her attention toward him again as her eyes fluttered open, waiting.

“I was miserable when I was with Liv too. And we broke up because she knew I spent all my time thinking about someone else.” He swiped his thumb across her cheek, realizing for the first time that he’d probably royally fucked up all her makeup and then hoping she wouldn’t come to her senses and kill him for it.

“And who might that be?”

He smiled, sweetly this time unlike all his asshole smiles, and just as he glanced at her lips, ready to kiss her again, he was cut short.

“Yo, where are Harry and Y/N?” It was Jason, loud and clear and possibly headed their way to investigate his missing party guests who had snuck off together in the dark. Jason didn’t know that yet though, and as much as Harry would like none of their friends to find out, it wouldn’t exactly look great the two of them waltzing out of the guest room together. Harry’s curls in shambles, fresh scratches all across his back, and Y/N’s makeup smudged. There was simply no use in hiding what they’d been up to, it was written all over them.

Harry grabbed her clothes and handed them off while he went on a search for his own tiny pieces of costume. And just as they got decent again, there was a knock on the door.

“You guys in there? You better not be doing what I think you’re doing.” Jason warned and Harry and Y/n looked at each other for a moment before busting out laughing.

Harry got to the door first, throwing it open to a very surprised Jason, who then narrowed his eyes when he saw Y/N come up behind Harry.

“God, not in my guest room!” He whined as Harry pushed pass Jason, a looking Y/N following shortly behind, “Now I have to clean the sheets again! I just did them yesterday.”

“Sorry, mate!” Harry called over his shoulder, glancing down at Y/N quickly to give her one of his cocky little winks. And once they had reached the main room again, as he fell back into his chair, she realized just how many scratch marks she’d left on him, and wished he’d worn a costume with a shirt to cover it up.

She drowned out all the whistling and the comments about how everyone knew she and Harry were up to something, about the bets won and lost. All she heard was Harry’s voice in her ear, telling her how much he missed her and she wondered if it was real. If he really did miss her, or he just missed fucking her. If, when it was no longer October 31st, they’d just go back to normal. Like the horse-drawn carriage turning back into a lumpy, ugly pumpkin.

Harry noticed this, of course, because he’s a law student and notices everything, but just as he leaned in to ask if she was okay, she pulled away.

“I just, uh, need some air.” And then she was gone before he could do or say anything. She used through the front door, abandoning their poor pumpkin and headed toward her car. She’d left the keys and her purse inside, but it didn’t matter. She just leaned against the passenger door and gazed up at the stars, thankful for the clear night and warm weather.  

And, of course, he was beside her not too long afterwards. She’d heard his footsteps against the pavement, knew he’d probably follow her out anyway.

He cleared his throat, half watching the same stars she was and half glancing at her. “Did I do something?”

“No, it’s um…” she faltered, her eyes falling to her feet. “Think I just had too much to drink.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. I—” she cut him off before he got too far in the wrong direction.

“No, I mean…” she pushed off her car then and faced him, “Are we just going to go back to how we always are after tonight? Because I don’t know if I can do that. But I never know what you’re thinking, Harry. Do you even like me or do you just like sleeping with me sometimes and arguing with me all the rest of the time?”

He continued to watch her for a moment, almost waiting for her to tell him she was kidding. But when she just ran a nervous hand through her colored hair, he realized she wasn’t.

He waited for a group of kids all dressed in various Star Wars outfits to pass by them before he began. “I guess I thought I was clear, but obviously not enough… I don’t just want to sleep with you every couple of years and pretend we don’t like each other in between. I think we’ve already wasted enough time, don’t you?”

She nodded once his words sunk in.

“Can we go finish our pumpkin now? And win the stupid skeleton. So I can take both it and you home with me?”

Again, she nodded, but this time it was matched with a smile. “Who says I want to go home with you?”

He rolled his eyes and threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close enough to kiss the top of her head as he steered them back toward the front door. “Guess it’ll just be me and the skeleton then.”

They both glanced over at the giant thing stuck in the middle of Jason’s front yard, still attracting every young person like it was a princess at Disneyland, and then she looked up at him again. “On second thought, I might like to see that.”

He shook his head, opening the front door for them, “M’sure you would.”

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Golden (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: you are in a relationship with kakaski, but after an accident, you have amnesia, and can’t remember him anymore. angst baby. Very feminine Civilian!reader (you own a bookstore, so cliche lmao) essentially, this series is mindless romantic indulgences i wrote mostly for myself, but if other people can enjoy them then i did my job as a fanfic writer.

A/N: im definitely not writing a fanfic for every song on fine line...haha

Word count: 5600

_____

He lay awake at night after the incident, imagining the moment he truly knew he was in love with her. Completely infatuated with this beautiful woman working at the bookstore. It was the only thing he could do now that his entire world had come crashing around him. With everything that happened in the hospital, this was the only way he knew how to cope.

He drifted off into the dream once again.

__

Kakashi stood by the front gates of the village, a paperback book he had just bought in his hand, folded over so he could read with one hand. One more time before he left for this mission, one he knew would last longer than anyone would like, he visited the old bookstore in town. He wanted to think he just stopped by to stock up on reading material, but that wasn’t it.

It was always about her.

When he saw Y/N running up to him, her apron nearly falling off and her hair in disarray, his eyes widened and he set the book down by his side. She was out of breath when she got to him, pressing her hands to her chest to get herself put together. Her brows furrowed deeply as she lifted her eyes to meet his.

“Kakashi,” she exclaimed.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“I know you’re going on this long mission and you won’t be around for a few months, and I can’t stand the thought of you leaving without me telling you this,” she said, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t insanely curious what she had to say. She was a sweet village girl, and he frequented her store, quite a bit actually. On occasion, he would drop by a few times in a day just to say hello. He definitely wasn’t slick.

He waited for her to continue and she didn’t hesitate. “Every time you leave, I get this pain in my chest. I worry about you day and night because I know the life of a shinobi is never guaranteed. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you this time, if I kept acting like the coward I am.”

“I see? Well, what’s on your mind?”

“I-I’ve never felt this way for anyone before, and I don’t know how to deal with it, so here goes,” she told him, taking a deep breath before her next words, “I think I’m in love with you, Kakashi Hatake. I think I’ve loved you since the first time you stepped foot in my parents store.”

“I…”

What was he supposed to say to that?

“You don’t have to say anything back. It doesn’t bother me, I know how closed off you ninja are. Just please, take my words and hold them close on your journeys.” She paused, clenching her soft fists by her sides. She wasn’t scared of rejection, not at all. She was only scared that Kakashi might not care about her words at all. “Please, don’t forget someone loves you.”

In that moment, he felt his heart stop beating, only for a second, but he felt it. Shifted awkwardly, not wanting to let off that he was getting even a little emotional at her declaration. He was tough as nails, the copy-nin. Not some lover boy, even if he wanted to be. Even if he wanted to swoop in right then and kiss her to pieces.

All he could say was, “I’ll keep that in my mind. Thank you, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome. Now, don’t fool around out there so you can come back to me in one piece!” she laughed, feeling tears bubbling up in the corners of her eyes.

He found himself smiling back at the young woman. “You got it.”

__________

Kakashi was never really one to express his feelings. Generally, he kept them inside to mourn alone. It was just in his nature, it was nothing personal with the people he knew and trusted. There was just something about Y/N that made him drop down some of those thick barriers.

His girlfriend was a normal woman, working long shifts in the village bookstore since she was a teenager. She never attended the academy, wasn't chakra sensitive, nothing in particular was so outstanding that she was noticed. Nothing on the surface, actually.

It was her smile and her laugh, the way she could make anyone feel like they were important and wanted, that attracted Kakashi to her in the first place. From the first time they met as teenagers in the bookstore aisles, he knew he was caught in some sort of trap. For a minute, he compared the feeling to that of a genjutsu, even though he knew that was far from a possibility.

To him, when she smiled, it felt as if everything was going to be okay. All the pain and suffering disappeared when she was around. He really couldn’t understand how that could be happening, with the world crumbling around him everyday.

That was a particularly rare attribute among ninja folk, whose lives led them to believe that happiness wasn’t achievable and death was common; pain was so normal for him. It was refreshing to have someone around who didn't think like that, that could change the tone of a room in a moment with just an ounce of positive energy. Y/N was innocent to the majority of these harsh realities that the ninja faced, for the most part.

As with most people in the village, her parents lost their lives during the invasion of the nine tails. She was alone for a long time, but despite that, she tried to find joys in reading, in stacking new books on shelves, in talking to unique individuals that would stop by. And as she aged, she realized her most favorite customer was one with a masked face, and a love of gushy, perverted novels.

She was even friends with some of his closest friends, Gai, Yamato, Sakura. She reached out to them, getting visits here and there while she worked during the day. After he informed his closest companions of his blossoming affair with the bookstore girl, they just had to get in an insider view. They kept visiting after the first meetings. Sakura bringing lunch, Yamato helping her with repairs, and Gai just bringing his brightest smile and a boatload of jokes and giggles to share at the front counter.

It was only a matter of time before they fell into some weird friendship, a civilian and one of the top shinobi of their village. He was gone half the time on missions, and sometimes, when he was ANBU, she wouldn’t see him for weeks at a time. Occasionally, when a mission was long and difficult, she would hear pawing at her window late into the night. When she pulled back the blinds, a small dog would be sitting there with a folded piece of paper in his mouth, waiting for her to take it.

She loved those letters, they became her prized possessions. There was nothing else she loved more in the world than seeing his kind words written out on paper, his declarations of love that he would never dare say aloud. To him, it was easier to say those things on paper, to not be around when she read about his feelings for her. He was still attentive and kind to her in person, but the letters spoke with a romanticism that he couldn’t.

Y/N practically glowed when she spoke to him, so in love with him she could barely keep it restrained. He knew this. He knew she was as deeply in love with him as he was entranced with her. It had been 5 years since they started dating, and he prolonged the inevitable path of marriage as long as he could. Having a girlfriend was one thing, but marrying someone felt like a burden he couldn’t shoulder. He wanted to, but it just seemed like too much work, too much risk.

After years, he realized the waiting just wasn’t worth it. They were only getting older as the time went by. She just warmed his empty heart, he knew that was something only she could do for him. He needed that.

And that's why he sat in the comfort of Ichiraku, Sakura by his side, sipping on some soup. She was the only one he truly trusted with this knowledge, the only one who could give him genuine advice. He just needed to tell someone what he was about to do. He sat there, his fingers hovering over his pants pocket, eyes trailed down at the table.

"What did you want to talk about, Sensei?" She had asked.

"You really like Y/N, right? Think she's good for me?"

She smiled with a small nod. "Of course. Y/N is so sweet. She makes you so happy I can tell. I think it's really good for you." It was true. Sakura didn’t know what her sensei was like before he met the woman. That was years ago before she was even born. What she did know is that someone with that much pain seeping from his heart could use some love in his life, a stable shoulder to lean onto. If anyone was stable, it was her. Without any cares in the world other than worrying for her boyfriend and keeping her business afloat. Her trauma was behind her, unlike some of the shinobi that carry those with them for the rest of their lives. Guilt, anger, resentment.

He pulled a tiny, drawstring bag from his pocket and fiddled with the strings between his fingers. "When I was in the Land of Fire last month, I picked this up from a merchant," he explained, pulling open the bag and pouring out the contents. A small ring clicked against the bar table. "Take a look, tell me what you think."

She dropped her spoon and reached over for the ring, holding it gently with the pads of her fingertips. It was beautiful. It sparkled like sunlight hitting clear blue waters. A stone rested in the center, flecks of lavender and blue floating in the sparkly gem. When she turned it in the sunlight, more colors appeared and changed, morphing into something spectacular in every sense of the word.

"Kakashi-sensei, it's gorgeous. Are you going to give this to Y/N?"

"After all this time, it seems inevitable really. Time flies."

"Oh my gosh. I'm so happy for you. She's going to be ecstatic, I just know it. She loves you more than life itself." He liked hearing that reaffirmed for him, even though Y/N frequently told him how she felt, daily ‘I love you’s. Unlike him, those words were not rare, but each time it filled his chest with warmth.

He smiled fondly, watching as she continued to turn to ring in her hands. He never thought this would happen to him: marrying someone. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He didn't want to put that risk on someone, especially Y/N. He had suppressed his feelings for her for a few years before he finally succumbed to the urge to tell her. Finally, after years of longing and avoiding the obvious, she became his, and he was undoubtedly hers.

It was a hard decision. He knew it was wrong to risk it, put her life on the line, but now he felt ridiculous sulking around waiting for something that was never going to happen. Nothing had happened to Y/N yet, and it had been years. She was gonna be fine. He was only being paranoid, he had convinced himself.

"Tonight. I'm going to help her close the store and do it then."

"You're a good man, Kakashi. She’s so lucky to have you protecting her and watching out for her, ya know? You two balance each other out perfectly,” the girl sighed. If only she could find a love like her sensei had with his significant other.

"Thanks, Sakura.”

They finished up their conversation, and he paid the bill for her, feeling so high that a bit of money from his wallet didn't even bother him. It was slightly later than he was supposed to go see her. The bookstore should have already closed by about 10 minutes.

All he could think about on the way there was how she would laugh about him being late, as usual. She would hug him to say hello, like she usually wound, and then give him a kiss on his masked cheek. He would help her quickly reorganize books before pulling out the ring. To him, it wasn't really about her saying yes at all so much as this moment, proposing to the love of his life, meant he could leave his curse behind and be happy for once with someone he cared about. She was his savior, an escape from a mindset so ingrained he couldn't fight it on his own.

But when he walked up to the front of the store. He noticed the lights still on even though she would have shut them off by now. The sign out front still flipped to open. He didn’t think it was too weird at all, he just thought maybe she was waiting for him to come along to finish up.

As he walked in though, he noticed the whole reams of paper strewn across the floor. Piles of books were aggressively thrown from the shelves, scattered around the floor like someone side swept them from the stands. Ink stained the checkout counter where she normally sat, inkwell tipped over the edge and dripped onto the carpet which she took care to keep clean. It was disastrous getting stains out of that carpet, she always said to him.

Most importantly, on some of the papers scattered around, he spotted blood splatter, drips of half dried blood present all the way from her desk to the back door. He felt panic rise up from his stomach all the way to his throat, and his heart raced. It was rare something made him truly terrified, and this was one of those moments.

He searched, god, he scoured that entire building over and over again for the woman. He checked every aisle and under every table. He ran upstairs to her apartment and checked in the few small rooms she had, scared she was cowering in her bathtub or hiding under the bed. He ran to the neighboring stores, asking if they'd heard from her, and received nothing but empty words. He just wanted her to be anywhere that he could find, anywhere but in the arms of someone evil.

His Y/N was gone, and he was hopelessly at the mercy of his curse once again.

______

He wasn't even allowed to go on the search mission for his girlfriend. Instead, Tsunade sent Yamato as well as a few chunin who knew Y/N enough to recognize her but not enough to fail at being objective. Apparently, the copy-nin wasn't in his right mind to go on a mission right now, especially one that was so personal to him. All his missions for the foreseeable future had been cancelled and another jounin was set to replace him. He could only sit back at home, guilt ridden and feeling useless, unable to help, unable to search. He did this to her. He knew that putting his heart into someone else's hands wasn't right, that it would only lead to her suffering but he couldn't listen to his own experience. He didn’t think it could happen to Y/N. he thought he could protect her.

But fate finds a way, it seems.

He trusted Yamato and the others to find her, but it was nothing like going himself. He wanted nothing more than to see the men who stole her away taught a lesson for what they had done. He wanted to cradle her in his arms and kiss her head, and promise something like this would never happen again. At least, that’s what he wanted to do. He didn’t know how he would react in the moment, despite developing quite good self-control over the years. How could he contain himself when the perpetrators caused his beautiful girl to bleed, and no doubt suffer?

Sakura felt the worst for Kakashi, knowing what she knew. She could imagine him heading to propose to his little girlfriend whom he loved more than anything in the entire world, and see only her blood splattered across the room and endless signs of a brutal struggle. Not to mention no one had a clue why they stole her or what was happening where no one else could see. The medical nin nearly shed a couple tears when Kakashi rushed into the Hokage's office without announcement, proclaiming that his girlfriend was gone, kidnapped from her own store where she worked alone all day.

Tsunade, despite barely knowing the girl, knew it was important; for anyone to be stolen from their village was serious enough. Although she felt for Kakashi, she had to keep him calm while she worked on finding the subject of his affection. She sent out teams immediately, and stressed that Kakashi was to remain in the village until everything was resolved one way or another. She didn't want any accidents because of a reckless, emotionally compromised shinobi faltering.

It only took the teams a single day to find their target.

Shikamaru and Choji were the ones to come back first, and in the larger boy's arms rested the limp, unconscious body of a missing woman. Ever so gently, he had her head tucked away against his chest the entire way home, trying his best not to hurt her anymore. Even if she was unconscious, he wanted to respect the body. From the moments they spoke before, she seemed like the nicest girl. He felt awful. She wasn’t the one putting her life on the line, she was the one that shinobi were supposed to protect. And they failed her.

When they walked through the gates of the village, Kakashi was already rushing up to the gates waiting for their arrival. He caught up to the boys and reached out to take her body from his arms, just to cradle her against him. It was the least that he could do was take her to the infirmary. To feel her faint heart beating against his chest. He was surprised when one of the chunin sadly shook his head.

"Kakashi, she's alive, but trust me, you don't want to see what they did to her," Shikamaru warned, and Choji flinched, just thinking about what her poor face looked like when they found her. Shikamaru knew for a fact that if his girlfriend was ever handed off to him looking so pitiful, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He didn’t want the same to befall on his sensei. "Just trust me, I cannot let you see it, for your sake. Let Choji bring her to Tsunade."

He felt a burning in his stomach, pain creeping up in his abdomen like he was going to throw up all over the dirt path they stood on, but he did his best to remain calm despite the mix of emotions running through his head. He watched as the Akimichi carried her quickly off to the hospital. Kakashi didn't miss though, the blood stains on his tunic surrounding the area where her head was resting, circling her face. She had bled a lot in her time away, he realized.

God, he felt sick. So fucking nauseous.

"What happened?" he breathed heavily, words slipping through.

"Apparently, the guy had a grudge against your clan for something your father did to his family. Killed a criminal brother or some shit. When he heard wind of your girlfriend he knew he would take his revenge. Didn't want ransom, fame, nothing, just to torment you and torture her. Disgusting bastard."

There was one thing he wanted to know on top of his worry about her condition. He’d been thinking about it for the entire day she was missing. Obsessing even.

"What did you do with the man?" He hoped that justice had been served, and he couldn't imagine the two boys doing anything less.

"A man that would do that to a woman doesn't deserve his life," he muttered, his eyes trailed off to the village, “I made it painful.”

Kakashi nodded to him, and together they stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity.

“Sensei?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.”

____________

When he got to the hospital, Choji was directly quickly to a special unit with particularly fancy machines around the room. Sakura was standing beside her own mentor awaiting the arrival of her friend. The moment she finally saw Y/N's exposed face, she cried. Tears fell from her eyes and she leant over the hospital bed to get a look at all her wounds. She looked alien, and the amount of blood that stained her hairline and cheeks was thick and heavy. Choji had tried to wipe it off, but he just couldn’t get it all.

"Y/N! Oh my God, what did they do to you?" She cried, running her hands shakily over the contusions and the cuts and the bulging areas near her temples. Her body was no better but her face is what hurt Sakura the most. It was hard to believe that all the life had been drained from her body after this one incident.

The light had left her body. Her familiar glow emanating from her soft skin was missing. She looked cold and dead. For the first time, Sakura saw her without her smile, without any bit of optimism. It felt like she was staring at an empty shell of the woman she knew.

"Sakura, get the IV ready. I need to get to work."

And so she did what she does best. Healers at work in their element fixing broken bones, burst capillaries in her head, torn skin. Everything they could. It took hours, and her face still wasn't completely healed in the end, just less swollen. She still had some bumps and bruises but those weren't going to be so bad. They could heal by themselves with a few days of rest and care.

She would be okay, they decided after a while of treatment, and moved her into a normal hospital room, under watch of nurses every so often, no visitors allowed either. Not for the first few days, much to Kakashi's displeasure. He was really getting irritated with the way everyone was keeping him from seeing her. Shouldn’t he be allowed? Essentially, the only family she had left? In reality though, he was scared.

But did he even want to see her again? He loved her, would do anything in the world for her. If only he had the guts to just give up on her and let her meet a normal man from the village, let her marry him and just forget all about their relationship. Then, nothing like this would ever happen again. She would be safer without having connections with him. He was so upset with himself for letting this happen.

He hated himself. It had been a long time since he genuinely thought those words. He hated himself more than anyone else. He let this happen, he was to blame for all this mess. A monster.

He headed back to his apartment that night and stared over at her tiny pile of belongings in the corner, ones she had left over his place as time went on. They still didn't live together so it wouldn't be the worst thing if he broke up with her. She would be hurt, probably cry for a few days, a week, maybe a month. He didn’t know. All he knew was that a little bit of crying was a lot better than getting fatally injured.

Just return her belongings in a box, and never go back to that fucking bookshop where he fell in love with her. He could get his novels directly from Jiraiya if he wanted them.

Tsunade already told him it would be days before he would be allowed to see her again, something about the healing process and that her chakra wasn't enough to fix everything. Based on what Shikamaru had told him, the way he acted- it must have been pretty bad. He couldn't even imagine her face beaten and broken.

All he knew was that in 2 days, he would be allowed to see her again, to possibly talk to her and apologize for what he had caused. It was the least he could do. At this point he couldn't imagine giving her that ring. How could she accept when he was the reason she was abducted and tortured?

He barely slept that night, but it didn't matter. He didn't have anything to do. He was given time off work until everything was resolved. He wondered if it would have been better to have a mission and forget all about the situation for even a couple fleeting moments.

He was just so tired of these feelings. He felt suffocated, and unlike himself. He was finding it hard to be cool, calm, and collected like usual. He just felt terrible. Too terrible to eat, too terrible to sleep, too terrible to do anything but stare up at the ceiling and wonder what could have been.

______

It was time to head to the hospital and see her. Yamato had come to his apartment so they could go and see Y/N. Tsunade gave him the green light first thing that morning when he reported to her. The wood style ninja wanted to see her as well, just to say he was happy she was recovering and even tell her that next time she needed help, if Kakashi wasn't around, to run to his apartment. He would always open his arms to help. So many shinobi of the village, after this incident, would be willing to drop everything and help. Her bookstore would probably always have eyes on it from now on.

Word travelled fast between the shinobi and soon enough almost everyone was giving Kakashi sympathetic looks, patting him on the back and apologizing to him for something they knew nothing about. He just wanted to get to her and say sorry for everything he had done. For not being there sooner, for his father and his clan causing this whole thing. He just needed to see her face. He couldn't get her out of his head.

Sakura was standing outside the room when he arrived. She was biting on her nails, which was oddly uncharacteristic of her. She rarely got nervous enough for habits like that to arise. She was normally so confident. That was the first of the red flags.

"Kakashi-sensei, Yamato. You're here to see Y/N, aren't you?" she asked, her voice quiet and hesitant.

She let him Yamato walk past her into the room but she raised her hand before Kakashi could walk in. She gave him one of the most sorry, pitiful looks he had ever seen, and her lip was quivering just a bit. It was barely noticeable but Kakashi was talented at noting the smallest things.

"Kakashi, I'm really sorry about everything. Lady Tsunade did everything she could. When you go in there, just please don't get upset. It's not as bad as you think. I'll explain everything later, but I want to see how she reacts to seeing you first," she bit out, her words mending together awkwardly.

He figured she was just nervous about her condition or maybe she was still bruised and bandaged up. If she was in a full body cast, he wouldn’t care. As long as he could see her. He couldn’t understand why Sakura was so worried. She would still be beautiful to him. She could never lose that shine that she carried regardless of her external features.

"Hmm. I'm sure it will be fine."

"I'm serious. Don't get upset and alarm her, it's very important you be careful."

"Gotcha."

She watched as he walked past her into the white room, sunlight leaking onto her bedside. The woman was fond of staring out the window since she woke, comforted by the familiarity of the village and the birds that flew by. That was the one thing she needed. Comfort.

Yamato sat at her bedside, and she seemed to be talking to him quietly. Her brows were furrowed deeply and she seemed strained, thoughts running through her brain.

"Kakashi-" the man began to say, desperate to say anything to his friend before the inevitable, but was interrupted.

"Y/N, I was so worried about you," he said, words tumbling out before he could even think. He just had so much to say. He continued, "I need to apologize for what happened. I know I should have been at the shop earlier to help you close, I just got caught up in something. It was my family's fault for your kidnapping. I cannot believe I dropped my guard and let this happen to you, baby-"

She looked at him, but without an ounce of the fondness he was so used to. Instead, his girlfriend just looked confused.

"I… I'm sorry but, Sir, do I know you?"

No.

Not this.

He pleaded in his head that this was not happening. That somehow he had misheard.

"It's me, Kakashi,” he replied softly, almost pleading for her to say something else.

She smiled sympathetically, peering up at him with a little glimmer of that kindness he knew in her eyes. He could tell she was confused, and he began to feel his heart break. "Uh, I'm so sorry but I don't remember you. We're we friends or something?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say something like that,” he muttered, his eyes turned to stare at the white tiles beneath his feet.He couldn’t look at her anymore.

"Yamato, you're friends with Kakashi-san, too?" She asked the brunette at her bedside, sitting in a chair wiping his sweaty palms on the thighs of his pants. He felt himself becoming nervous, especially when he felt Kakashi watching him. Why did she have to ask him that question? Why did she have to address him by his name so casually? He could feel Kakashi begin to bubble up emotions he hadn’t felt from him before.

"Yes. We are all very close friends, Y/N. You were closest with Kakashi actually."

"Then how come I can’t remember any of you?"

"I don't know." He felt fear creeping up his neck, Kakashi overwhelming his senses. The grey haired man just stood there, his eye flickering between the love of his life and his friend who apparently her brain thought was more important than him. Did he not look friendly enough to talk to? Was Yamato more inviting than he was, was that why she stopped talking to him? “I really wish I could help you there,” he mumbled.

She turned back to Kakashi and smiled, but it wasn't the one he knew from her. It was different. He hated it. He didn't even want to look at her anymore.

"I hope I remember you soon, or I'll just have to get to know you again, Kakashi-san," she chirped, reaching out to touch his hand which rested on the edge of her bed. The reaction he had was immediate and almost startling. The second her hand touched his, her warmth pressed to his cold fingers, he yanked his hand away and shoved it into his pocket.

He didn't want her to touch him. He didn't want anything other than to leave. Fuck getting to know him again. That wasn't an option.

"I need to go. I've got a mission I need to prepare for."

"Okay! Goodluck out there," she called to him as he turned on his heel to leave. He grit his teeth, feeling another wave of emotion overtake him. As he stepped outside the door, Sakura was still waiting there for him, her arms crossed over her chest sheepishly.

"Will she ever remember me again?" He asked simply.

"I don't know. She's got retrograde amnesia which can sometimes be permanent depending on the damage done to the brain. We couldn't fix it, no matter how much we tried. She doesn't remember me either. She doesn't remember Gai or Naruto or even Tsunade. She only remembers the village and a few bits and pieces that she can associate with it. Of course she remembers her name and her bookstore, but specific people and memories are essentially gone for now."

"So she's lost to us?"

"She can still get her memories back, but it will take time," she explained. "Sensei, I'm so sorry. None of us wished anything like this on you. I told Tsunade about the ring you were going to give her and the proposal, and we mourned for you. I'm so sorry." She felt so bad, and they did cry for him. They cried for the girl who got to keep her life but lost her soul.

"I have to get back to my apartment and clean up a few things," he dismissed, turning his head away from his student as well. He felt his heart clench in his chest as he walked away. The ring still sat deep in his pants pocket and he wanted nothing more than to throw it in the river.

He wished he was the one who forgot everything. Maybe this pain in his heart would subside. Maybe all the guilt would be washed away once and for all.

Part Two and Three are out.

[saintorchid]

Smells Like Home

___________________

A/N: Yeah this is pure fluff baby. One of my mutuals informed me that there is bath and body works candle that smells exactly like Nanami. And you know what I did? I wrote a fic. Enjoy!

Warnings: none/I don't own bath and body works pls don't sue me

(bath and body works if you see this please think of it as free advertising please and thank you)

___________________

Two months ago at a shopping center, you and Nanami decided to pick up some necessities and maybe indulge a little.

Of course, going anywhere with your boyfriend Nanami requires some organization. Before leaving the house, you and Nanami created a list of the stores you planned to visit and things that the two of you needed to buy. If you know one thing about Nanami, he hates being in public. He instead stays at home with you, cuddled on the couch while you play with his golden hair. But now he’s in public with you holding your hand while you hum a song that’s been stuck in your head since last week.

Nanami looks at you while you checked the list you two made before leaving the house. He sees you muttering under your breath, “Okay, we picked up the new curtains, got some cleaning supplies yadda yadda yadda.”

You looked at the list to double-check that you two bought all the stuff you needed before heading home and cooking dinner. Nanami knows that you like to indulge yourself whenever you go out in public. You’ll sometimes buy under-eye masks for him and a new lipstick for yourself or a unique floral blanket. After living with you, he knows about your blanket obsession. Due to your obsession with soft fluffy blankets, you have a designated closet for blankets. He doesn’t mind. He likes to see you happy.

He smiles at the thought that crossed his mind and looked at you, still focused on the list. He breaks your train of thought.

Nanami speaks in a soft voice only reserved for you to hear, “Dear, is there any other store you would like to visit before we leave?”

You looked at the man with a gentle expression on his face. You spoke, “Actually, yes. Can we go to bath and body works? I’m running out of my favorite lotion.”

Nanami replies to you, “Of course we can go.” He could never say no to you. He’ll do anything for you to see a smile on your face. Both of you walked into the fragrant store, greeted by the salesperson.

You ask the salesperson where you could find your lotion, and she takes you to the lotion display. Before Nanami could join you, he received a call from his work. He stops you in your tracks.

“Hey honey, I have to take this call. It’s from work. It might take some time, depending on the situation. I’ll wait outside until you’re done.”

You reply, “Okay, sounds good, love.”

You and the salesperson resume on your journey to buy your lotion; after looking and finding your lotion, you come across a new candle display. Intrigued, you picked up the candle called “mahogany teakwood high intensity.” You smelled the candle and immediately thought it smelled just like Nanami. You didn’t even notice, but you headed to the register with the lotion and candle in hand. You paid for the items and headed out of the store. You found your boyfriend waiting for you with his hand held out. You grasp his hand, feeling how rough and calloused it is but always so gentle with you.

-Present Day-

Nanami yells at you from across the house, “Hey honey, have you seen my tie?” While he yelled at you, you were preparing his lunch for his business trip. Lately, business trips have frequently been happening. You understood that it was apart of his job, but still, you missed him dearly.

As you were chopping some fruit, you replied, “Did you check in your dress pocket? You tend to put them there when you prepare your suits!”

Nanami reached into his dress pocket, feeling the silk material between his fingers. He yells back a thank you. As he finished preparing his materials for the business meeting, he heads downstairs to put on his shoes and kiss you goodbye. You handed him his lunch, wishing him to come back soon and to be careful.

He kisses you goodbye, but before he turns his head, you grab him by his tie and kiss him harshly. Surprised by the sudden action, he kisses you once more.

“Honey, I have to go, or I’ll be late. You know how I like to be punctual.”

“One more,” You held his face with your hands.

“One more, what?” Nanami whispers. He knows that you get embarrassed when you ask for kisses. Seeing you get flustered makes his heart race.

“Kiss me one more time before you leave, please,” You look into his eyes, seeing his pupils dilate. You would do anything to have him stay a second more, but his job is important.

He grins and pours every single drop of love he has for you into a single kiss.

The two of you stand embracing each other. Nanami can be a minute or two late.

“How long will you be gone again?” You said into his chest.

“Four days and three nights,” Nanami kissed your forehead.

He lets go putting on his shoes and double-checking if he has everything. Once he’s sure, he says goodbye, and he’ll text you when he arrives at his destination.

The two of you exchanged ‘I love you's, and Nanami closed the door. It does hurt him to leave you, but he always brings you a souvenir from his trip to make it up to you.

——————

For the next two days, you did some chores around the house, read the book you have been putting off, and looked for recipes for future dinners. On the coffee table of your living room, you lit the candle you bought two months ago. It smells just like Nanami. You used this candle every time Nanami went on a business trip. It was used to compensate for him not being with you. The scent of the candle does feel like he’s right next to you. You yearned for him, but his trip was going to be over soon, which you were thankful for.

The third day rolls around. You headed out to the grocery store to buy some ingredients for today's dinner. After grocery shopping, you went to your local cafe ordering a drink and some pastries for you and Nanami to try.

You arrived at your empty home. Like a ritual, you put away the groceries and put the pastries on the table. You took a bath and put on a new set of clothes consisting of a pair of leggings and Nanami’s sweater. It was about six pm when you decided to continue to read your book. As always, you lit the candle on the coffee table. Its scent started to fill the room. As you read for an hour, you decided to start on today's dinner.

You put on your apron and washed the vegetables that you were going to use in your soup. You got into a rhythm: chop, toss the vegetables into the pot, stir, and clean.

Since you fell into a rhythm, you didn’t notice Nanami leaning against the island in the kitchen. Nanami’s business trip ended much quicker than he expected. Everyone on his team was super efficient and was very progressive on the current project they were working on, which made him more grateful.

You stopped chopping and put the rest of the ingredients into the pot string gently. It didn’t register in your mind that Nanami's two arms wrapped around your waist. Your body immediately recognizes his presence. You turn your head to see a man with a content smile on his face. Before you could say anything, he says, “I’m home.”

You stopped stirring and lowered the heat on the stove, letting the soup simmer for thirty minutes.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. He picks you up and carries you to the living room sofa.

You ask him how his trip was while stroking his face. He softly rubs circles on your hand that cupped his face. He tells you that the business trip ended early due to everything running so smoothly. You were so happy that you embraced him, knocking the two of you back onto the sofa.

The two of you laugh, enjoying each other's presence. Nanami strokes your hair. In the corner of his eye, he notices the candle. “Hey honey, what’s that?” He asks you.

“Oh, the candle? I bought it two months ago when we went shopping. It smells just like you, so I bought it. I light it every time you leave for a business trip. It makes me feel like you are still here with me.” You see his cheeks dusted in a faint pink.

Nanami feels so guilty about how any trips that he had to go on these past few months, leaving you all alone in the house. He speaks, telling you not to worry because, luckily for him, this would be his last business trip until the new year rolls around.

You were beyond ecstatic. You peppered his face with kisses while saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you between each kiss.

“I guess you won’t be needing that candle for quite some time, huh?”

You roll your eyes at his remark smiling bashfully. It’s been thirty minutes, and the soup was ready.

“C’mon, let's have dinner,” You said while grabbing Nanami’s hand heading towards the kitchen table.

The two of you eat, enjoying dinner. After dinner, Nanami washed the dishes while you prepared some tea for the pastries you bought earlier.

The two of you tried each other's pastry, critiquing the taste and presentation. Having Nanami be home felt like you were whole again. Little did you know he felt the same way.