#ford and stan trying to be good grunkles to the kids

[smiley-mcdoggington]

Stan dressing as Princess Unattainabelle for Ford on their anniversary is stuck in my head

WHEN I TELL YOU THIS TOOK SO LONG I PUT THEM IN THE CORNER THEY'RE THE WORST I NEED A NAP TW GRUNKLE FUNKLING TW FEMINIZATION TW FANGIRLING DURING SEX TW CUM MARKING

A corset is basically a girdle if Stan doesn't think about it too hard, and yeah, maybe his rugged long pirate hair looks kinda nice with some conditioner for once and with a few little braids that had taken way too long because it was slightly harder than braiding a squirmy 12 year old's full mop. Stan still thinks he looks ridiculous. At least at that bar in 77' being ridiculous was part of the fun, now Stan was flipping through Ford's game manual looking at pictures of a very disproportionate basement dweller's idea of what a woman looks like and realizing this is one of his worse ideas. Not as bad as the llama incident but up there.

Firstly, he was fat. No getting around it, the corset was almost worse than the girdle, at least the girdle didn't have spaces in the sides where hips should be and love handles are instead. Secondly, the part of the dress supposed to be filled out were indeed filled out except with saggy old man tits instead of, you know, anything that could hold a shape that wasn't sad and droopy like two rotten pears stuffed in his bodice. Thirdly, his hair was thin, started thinning in his twenties and never came back fully, and it looked even worse trying to look anything like the picture, weighing itself down with the braids and making his hair look greasy and his forehead too prominent and it was just a terrible look for him. He didn't do regency, even in 77' his appeal was new money gold-digger, not fucking princess.

But Stan had already bought the shit, and it was Ford's returnaversary, and Stan would be dammed if he didn't at least get a laugh from Ford after spending so long on the stupid hair and the stupid makeup and the stupid dress he had actually liked until he saw himself in the mirror.

Stan knocked on their bedroom door to get Ford over from their tiny kitchenette. "Hey, Sixer!"

Ford's steps were almost silent as he went over and tried the locked handle. "Yes?" He asked.

"Where were you in your nerd game again?"

"DDnmD? I had to stop right before I got to Princess Unattainabelle and the final boss fight with Probabilator - why do you ask?"

"This princess - she, like, on the boss's side?" He asked, knowing the answer.

"Certainly not, she's been kidnapped and tied up behind a puzzle door. Why? Do you want to play?" Perfect, Stanley just needed some rope and Ford's desk chair. He grabbed the emergency rope - there probably wouldn't be an emergency in the next few hours.

"Remember what I said about Never?" He asked, setting up the chair to face the door without letting it drag on the floor.

Ford sighed. "Really, you indulge in the kids' interests, why not mine?"

"I'd say I indulge you more than enough already, Poindexter." He said, tying his torso around the chair back - not much, just enough he couldn't lean forward or slump back.

"But you won't try just a single game with me? You know how hard it is to play by myself? I know all my plot twists."

Stan tightened the rope around his hands, behind his back and doing something good to his posture. "You know what? Fine, but I'm not getting up, so we're playing in here."

"That suits me perfectly, my manuals are in there anyway." Ford tried the handle. "Stanley? It's locked."

Stanley nearly giggled evilly, but kept it down. "The hell? No it's not." He said, knowing full well it was. Take that for a puzzle door.

Ford tried the handle again. "Stanley, its definitely locked."

Stanley didn't care to keep the smile off his face. He put the slightest fringe of panic into his voice. "Sixer?" He said, and he could hear Ford's posture shift. "The door's stuck - there's, like, weird runes on the door? Did you put those there?" He lied.

Ford jiggled the handle harder. "Stanley? What do you mean 'runes'?"

"Six if it wasn't you who the fuck put these symbols here and why the fuck can't I open the door?" He asked. "Is there someone in here..?" He put the slightest tremble in his voice with an evil, evil smile.

Then Ford was stomping around, probably looking for Stan's lockpicking set.

Then there was a second of silence followed by a loud bang as the doorknob blew off the door with one of Ford's scifi guns. Well. That works.

Ford kicked in the door, gun still raised, but the second his eyes landed on Stan he froze.

Stan faked a little struggling that was mostly arching his back. "It was Probabilator! He said he wouldn't let me go unless I agreed to marry him!" He whined like a prissy princess, waiting for the laugh, the 'What the hell are you wearing Stanley?', the threatening to get pictures.

But when he peeked at Ford from where he'd dramatically closed his eyes and thrown his head back, Ford was still just staring at him. Shame curled under his confined ribs. Maybe it wasn't even funny, maybe Ford could tell how much time Stan spent on his stupid outfit and just thought he looked pathetic. Maybe he was trying to think of how to politely leave to throw up. Maybe this was the last straw for Stanley "Try Hard" Pines and Ford would avoid looking at him directly until he could throw him into the nearest land mass where he could be a gross old man in a dress away from Ford's precious retinas.

Ford took slow steps forward and Stan waited for the laughter or the questions or the slap in the face, eyes closed and head turned as far away as he could while he tried his best to pick at his own damn knots around his wrists.

Then a wide palm was on his cheek. "Princess." Ford crooned, a thumb running along his cheekbone while Stanley very carefully opened his eyes to face him. "You're safe now, I've come to rescue you, my lady." He said, voice soft and gentle like the 'I love you's he'd mutter on the bad nights.

Stanley blinked at Ford, down on one knee, and struggled for a second to find any good reaction to that. He swallowed heavily and got back into character. He tilted his head down like a blushing virgin, pushing his chest out further. "Thank the gods, I was beginning to think all hope was lost before you found me, hero." He said, not bothering to pitch his voice up to keep it from cracking. Ford didn't seem to mind at all, eyes still flicking around to different details of his appearance.

"Of course, my lady, I could never allow for your virtue to be stolen by the likes of Probabilator." He said, and if Stan hadn't gotten into his period dramas he would not have known what 'virtue' meant.

Stan hadn't been a virgin since he was thirteen, he certainly couldn't stay one with some of his past careers. But, the thought send a shiver down his spine. The idea of Ford being his first, instead of Coach's daughter that in hindsight was way too old to be sniffing around the middleschool. The idea of Ford being his only, and not the clients he couldn't count because when you're high enough you lose track. Just Ford.

He turned his head away, putting a hesitant look on his face because Princess Unattainabelle didn't say 'Fuck Yeah'. "Thank you, you're right. My virtue is to be earned by someone deserving."

Ford licked his lips. "Of course."

"Someone heroic, and strong, and kind - willing to brave that villain's lair just to save me." He said, eyes away and trying very hard not to smile.

Ford practically had stars in his eyes, fifteen again and looking at the telescope Stan stole for his birthday, a red flush up his forehead and burning his ears. "I agree. You deserve only the best, my lady."

Stanley sighed. "But I will never receive it." He said, face dramatically tilted away, straining the ropes to keep his back arched and his chest out brazenly. "That villain will never cease while my virtue remains, how can I hope to marry when I cannot even hope to stay safe from him? When he will hunt me until he has me for only himself? " He batted away nonexistent tears.

"He cannot hunt a virtue you do not have." Ford said faintly, and if it were anyone but Stan it would have sounded like an accusation instead of a proposal. Luckily, Stan knows Ford and his inability to not sound like an asshole.

Stan gave his brother a shocked look. "Do you mean-- here? Now?" He asked, sounding agast at the idea he'd been hinting at.

Ford stood, and with Stan tied to the chair he loomed. "My dear, once my claim is staked you will never worry for your safety again. I will protect you with my last breath if you allow me." He purred.

Stanley looked up at him, wide-eyed like a wounded deer. "Please." He said, voice low. "Be gentle with me."

Ford broke. "God, Stan." He huffed while he dropped back to his annoyingly good knees, pushing up Stan's skirts and kissing up his thighs until he was mouthing at Stanley's boxers, half-hidden under the fabric while Stan hummed and rolled his hips against Ford's mouth.

Ford yanked his boxers down and immediately snatched him and swallowed his tip, rolling it with his tongue, shallow sucks and kitten licks that made all the layers feel a thousand times hotter. He huffed, knowing a Princess wouldn't knee Ford in the shoulder and tell him to stop fucking around, but with the rope he couldn't push forward at all. Ford pulled back a little and kissed right against his slit and Stan realized Ford was treating his cock like a clit. He would not admit the noise he made at that realization but it had Ford petting his thigh and shushing him, drawing back and making Stan wonder what he did wrong.

Then Ford's head finally got out from under his skirts, and Stan's hands jerked in his annoyingly good knot trying to reach for him. His whole face looked sunburnt, glasses sitting crooked on his nose, hair a static mess, and a little giddy smile when he took Stan in again. Stan wanted nothing more than to drag him forward and kiss that stupid look off his face. But instead, Ford slid his hand up his thigh and to the rope keeping him to the chair.

Ford's hands were quick on the knots, not a second to slip or hesitate, no wasted movement, the ropes fell to the floor quicker than they'd been tied and then those hands were on his corset, running over details with his fingers. Stan shifted, tried to sit straighter, legs together and politely to the side even if his bare dick was itching at his soft cotton slip and visibly tenting his skirts.

Ford stood straight and moved, Stan tried to figure out how to show him his bound wrists when suddenly there was an arm behind his shoulders and under his knees and the next second he was out of his seat. He looked up at Ford, who looked like Stan's weight didn't matter at all, like Stan was that waify little princess in his book. He felt himself curl the longer he spent off the ground, shake and awkward while Ford carried him, but it was only for a few seconds before Ford laid him out on their bed like a fragile little thing he'd never been before.

Fingers were in his hair, fiddling with the little braids while the other hand started running up his thigh. "So perfect." He muttered, and it stabbed Stan the same way it always did, right under the lungs, making his breath stutter. "My lady, your beauty is beyond measure."

Stan's whole face was hot. "Is it?" He asked, goading Ford with a bashful look.

"Of course." Ford kissed his cheek. "Wars have been started over your beauty, and they would never end if they saw you now, with your silver hair and freckles and broad shoulders and..." His eyes trailed downward. "And the way you spill out of your dress..." He crooned, lips pressed against the hairy cleavage Stan couldn't properly fit in the bodice. "Having you after all the years I spent loving you, it's incredible."

Stan's throat was tight. "Could you untie my wrists?" He pleaded. "So I can show you how much I love you back?"

Ford's lips curled in a smile against his chest, and he pulled away enough to help Stan flip onto his stomach to get at the rope.

A thumb ran along his wrist just under the rope, before Ford covered Stan like a blanket, hands on his sides and lips on his ear with that smile still on his face. "No, my love, not tonight." He said simply, grabbing him by the hips and dragging him up onto his knees, pressed onto Ford's cock through the skirts.

"why nh-not?" Stan asked, rolling back slightly into the frotting.

Ford didn't answer, instead one of his hands was up Stan's skirt again, dragging the heavy fabric up until cold air hit his ass. Stan wasn't usually looked at too closely, he didn't know how to make the angle look pretty, but he tried anyway, arching his back and dragging his legs a little apart. A thumb ran down to his hole and Ford paused.

Stan had been... Optimistic. Before he properly saw himself all together. "Are you wet for me, my love?" He practically cooed, and Stan pressed his face into the mattress. Ford pinched his thigh and he nodded. "Perfect."

Ford stuck two of his own fingers into Stan, scissoring them just to check before pulling away.

Stan shifted onto his cheek to glance behind him, but he couldn't see a thing under the poof of his bunched-up dress. Ford leaned forward, one hand pressing his bound wrists deeper into his back, the other lining him up, and pressing forward.

Stan would bottle and sell the feeling if he could, would make a killing. He pressed back into Ford while Ford leaned over him again to kiss his cheek, his neck, his ear. He felt spoiled, and he would never fight being spoiled.

Ford set the pace slow, strong, angling at Stan's prostate without giving him a chance to breathe unless it was on Ford's time. He started pushing back as much as he could, he was probably staining his slip but he didn't care, he'd been hard since he put the dress on.

His brother's hand on his wrists left to pet his flank. "You take it so well, it's like you were made for me, princess."

Princess.

"Please--" Stan groaned. "Please, Stanford--"

Ford started moving faster, too fast, Stan felt like he was on fire. "I know, princess, I know." He didn't, Stan was clutching his hands together like a prayer, drooling through his sheets, if Ford knew what he was doing he'd be a lot more smug right now. Stan couldn't keep up anymore, Ford's hands on his hips were the only thing holding him up at all.

Stan made one attempt at Ford's name that sounded more like a wounded dog and Ford moved one of his hands down to his drooling cock. "Do you wanna come, princess?" He asked, and Stan couldn't even last until Ford started moving his hand, yelling into the mattress and coming all over his pretty fingers.

Ford helped him ride it out, kissing his neck and muttering about how beautiful that was until Stan went lax. Then he immediately yanked himself out, grabbed Stan by the shoulder and flipped him to his back, wrenching his wrists and spooking the hell out of him.

But Ford, dick in cum-covered hand, was looking down at him like a kid looked at a puppy in a shop window, squirming where he sat. "Your dress? Can I?"

Stan arched himself in an attempt to get more comfortable laying on his hands, and Ford followed the movement. "Of course, you won." He said, expecting the dress to finally come off.

Nope. Ford straddled him and started jerking himself, tight and fast, dick pointed at the dress' low neckline. Stan's breath hitched, and he pushed his chest out, looking Ford in the eye and waiting. He put on his phoniest meek look. "Will this make me yours?"

Ford whined, painting the front of the dress and Stan's cleavage white, staring at his work while he rode himself down. His shoulders drooping was the only warning before Ford all but fell on top of him, immediately kissing all over his face, his already gross hand smearing his mess around and trying to hide it as a grope. Ford was gonna pay to get that cleaned.

"Thank you Stanley, you're so perfect - so wonderful - my Stanley." He panted. "It's not even our birthday, what did I do to deserve this?"

"It's your returnaversary." Stan said. "Now would you get these ropes off me?"

Ford pulled them both to their sides to fumble at the ropes without looking. "I'd hardly consider that a date to spoil me, you were the one that did all the work getting me home."

"Yeah, well, mom did all the work for our birthday but we're still celebrating that."

"Touche. I suppose I'll have to figure out a way to pay this back." He said, finally getting the rope undone.

Stan hummed, throwing an arm over Ford the second he was able. "Hm."

Ford snuck one hand down to pull the blanket over them. "I'll think of something in the morning, old men need to sleep."

"Hm."

[thedarkermelody]

TBH If Dipper had actually gotten to do Ford's apprenticeship it likely wouldn't have even made it a month at most. First Dipper has to deal with his parents, they didn't mind sending the kids up for the summer, but Dipper (a 13 year old boy) does not have the authority to decide stay up there permanently on his own. Now you could say maybe Stanford could have gotten permission, expect for the very large but here, it's that he's NOT the person the parents know. They know Stanley 'Stanford' Pines and trusted him enough to have the kids stay. Stanford 'giving kids weapons is fine right?' Pines would flub any attempts to convince two mad adults he could in any way look after Dipper correctly.

Now in a scenario Ford didn't have to worry about parental rage coming for him, he still isn't clear. Mainly cause I think Stan would be fucking PISSED about Ford talking Dipper into staying up in Gravity Falls to chase danger, enough he actually leaves the Shack himself. (I subscribe to the idea Ford didn't actually want Stan to leave after getting his life back, but my man just rage packed up and got out before he did something he regrets. Wendy is willing to commit so OSHA violations building making with Soos to help make him a new Mystery Shack between schooling though!) Now Dipper, loves his family extreme, would probably be confused why Stan isn't in his home, and Ford 'put a foot in his mouth' Pines would probably admit he was kicking him out! Which would sour things fast. In spite of everything, Dipper knows his Grunkle Stan cares for him, Mabel, and Ford, knowing his great uncle he idolizes made Stanley homeless well. It wouldn't go well. And Ford! This man hasn't been in the dimension forever, Stan probably payed off his mortgage and student debts, he still have regular bills, food, and taxes he hasn't thought of in years that are gonna rear up. The two would have everything cut off suddenly until Ford figures out that being an adult means paying for things again on his own, with NO MONEY. (Look Stanley loves his family, but fuck if he's gonna actually leave his brother any of his hard earned cash, you wanted your life back Ford so figure it out! He needs that for his own life. That said man would def just come pick up Dipper to take to eat obviously.) So now Ford as to deal with the capitalist grind, and between all that! Ford would ABSOLUTELY have to deal with the stray out of season tourists that are gonna be really upset they drove out for THE Mystery Shack only to find it closed down. And he'd hate it! There's a million distractions and more keeping him from exploring weirdness with his nephew now! And finally... school. Ford would fucking SUCK at schooling Dipper as he needs, which would be Stan's biggest issue actually with what Ford is doing. Do you think Ford would figure out how to enroll Dipper in the local school system? No man would probably be like 'I could easily teach Dipper what he knows! He's smart and we'll be blasted through anything high school could give in no time!' type shit. Dipper would probably not think about the long term issues here with no going into school, but one we all know is he'd be missing out on socializing. Ford probably remembers being bullied in school and that Dipper not going would be a good thing, but Ford also would forget that he had STANLEY there with him. So Dipper doesn't have Mabel, can't hang out with Grenda and Candy at school. Soos is busy as he doesn't have a job now, thus no reason to be at the Shack 24-7. But look again Ford hasn't been home in fucking years, and you cannot tell me he would try and find out how to do home schooling RIGHT, so Dipper would be missing on a high school experience and diploma. WHICH WOULD. PISS. STAN. OFF! Man was thrown out and didn't get to finish highschool, he knows full well what missing that locks you out of. And the world has only had things get more expensive and harder to get a job. He would think Ford is setting Dipper up for massive failure and be FURIOUS at his brother, while Ford thinks Stanley is just mad cause he's projecting and not understanding the root problem cause they can't communicate. ANYWAYS, Dipper would crack and go home eventually after the intital starry eyed 'OMG I'M THE AUTHOR'S STUDENT' glam is worn down by just everything Ford would not and not know how to do.

[artisiumstudios]

Honestly divorce and parents fighting isn’t the best, but unlike the older pines they didn’t have doubt about their self worth (at least not as much). We don’t see sign of abuse in the kids nor do we see them being berated by their parents for not being like the other. Hell even with Stan we see him support their individual craziness and isn’t comparing them to each other or pinning them against the other (something ford himself wouldn’t really break out of until later on: clarification I’m not saying ford thinks one twin is better than the other, but he does pin dipper against Mabel the way filbrick did to him and Stan). all in all shermie was probably the healthiest of the three thanks to him having a good support system, Stan was able to break the curse by not having kids and supporting his nibbling, and ford only broke out of it when he realized what he was doing was wrong.

Is it sad to think filbrick also had to grow up in an abusive household with little to no nurture and was unable to break the cycle of generational trauma? Yes. Does that make it any better? No, because he could’ve also made a change in his life, realized that he was wrong and at least try to make things better but he didn’t, not even for his own children.

Gravity falls has a chokehold on me so being able to analyze everything makes me so damn happy. Especially with someone who thinks the same!

Also to a certain degree I feel like dipper and Mabel aren’t as in much danger of even being in the cycle of this generational trauma due to:

A) shermie breaking the cycle first and not being afraid to love his family

B) shermies kid growing up in a supportive household and NOT being drafted into any war as a young adult

C) shermies kid also providing a happy nurturing household and even shielding his kids from the divorce, aka a traumatic experience. And again NOT being drafted into the war but as an adult/parent

D) two grunkles who are working through everything and proving that things can be worse but can also get better with time, and communication. Lots of communication.

(Also even tho shermie went to war when his kid was alive, it was too early in their life to even remember so they don’t have that traumatic experience either)

Is it just me or do I want to go more into depth about filbrick and Caryn pines and their lore, backstory, their childhood and how they got together and the reasons they turned out the way they did and how they affect the lives of their children.

Like do you think filbrick thought it was acceptable to kick Stan out because he himself or a brother or someone close to him was kicked out? Did that person manage to actually succeed in way or just be able to remain stable? If he was the one kicked out, considering his current situation is that why he too believed Stan would survive? (Is he really just that cruel?)

Was Caryn’s mom also a Psychic? Did she learn that from her? Was she a real or fake one? Is the fact that she has some sort of psychic blood in her veins be the reason why her family was always attracted to weirdness, why only they were able to defeat creatures, travel through dimensions, and defeat a god because they already had their cards picked out?

How did both of them fall in love? Was it true love, convenience, hell even an arranged marriage? How was their love story before kids and after the Stanley incident? Could Caryn be the only person that Filbrick perhaps ever opened up to? As children what did they hope to be, dream to become and achieve, and did they achieve it?

Are they happy? Were they ever happy?

Idk I just want to give these characters lore. 

[old-fandom]

I love the idea of Dipper and Mabel being so suspicious of Stancest but always being wrong in their conluscions.

Like, Stanley and Stanford leaving in the middle of the night when they think the twins are sleeping and don't come back till an hour or two, usually very happy and sometimes disheveled. Mabel is the first to notice when she wakes up from the car leaving the driveway but falls back to sleep almost immediately. She tells Dipper in the morning, who writes it off as some old man thing, but they keep catching it at random times. Dipper and Mabel end up confronting them about it and the Stans think they've been found, only for Mabel and Dipper to accuse them of going on night time adventures without them. Mabel specially believes they are also going to ice cream afterwards. (Stan and Ford leave at night to drive to a town over and park at their version of make out mountain and get into some hankey pankey. They do this to make sure they don't get caught by the twins and because making out in a car makes them feel like teenagers again.)

Another time, Dipper and Mabel catch on to an increasing amount of lovey dovey sickening pet names that Stan and Ford use on each other. It's always at random and always elicits some kind of glare and blush from the other. Dipper categories them all up, which names gets which response, how often each one is used, where they use it, what are they doing. Mabel puts the pet names on a Love Dovey scale ("Yes, Dipper, Baby goes above Honey, everyone knows that!") When they confront the Stans, who believe they have actually been found out this time, they reveal their findings. They believe that they are teasing each other in some secret code and each nickname is associated with some kind of failed romantic story, one that the other is embarrassed about. Mabel demands to hear the backstories to the pet names while Dipper wants to know where this teasing originated from. (Stan and Ford just got overly mushy on the ship and decided to kick cringe out of their lives and live it to the fullest. Ford likes using Beloved, My Love, Darling while Stan likes using Sweetheart/Sweetie, Doll/Dollface, Honey. However, they do use Baby to tease each other, though it is still a pet name,)

Then there's the horrible, god awful moment where the Stan Twins truly, honestly, terrifyingly believed they got found out. Mabel and Dipper to yelling at them, demanding answers, screaming at them, "How could you, you're brothers!" Both of them red in the face, angry and hurt. The Stans feel so sick about it, thinking they hid it so well and now they were going to lose everything. However, that feeling breaks when the twins reveal that they believe that Ford and Stan are still fighting, physically fighting. Dipper points out that sometimes one of them is hurting more than normal, usually after they all go to bed, and it's hard for them to walk. Mabel says she's even heard them yelling at each other and is in tears at the idea of her Grunkles fighting and hurting one another. Stan rectifies the situation immediately, telling the kids that they caught them red handed. They were fighting, consensually. He tells them that Ford wanting some old Boxing lessons and that the best time to do them is at night so he can focus and not accidently hurt one of them if he lost control of his swing. He also knew how much it hurt the twins to see them fight, so they thought it was better to hide it from them, but he says that he was wrong. The twins take this for what it is and spend the rest of the day asking to see them practice, which the Stans do happily. (They were boinking. Ford's a bottom.)

I love them so much. It's going to be a *10 years later* Dipper with a spoon of cereal half way into his mouth and Mabel dipping her pancakes in syrup. "It wasn't boxing lessons."

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

fic wherein dipper comes across ford in the shack at night and thinks he’s possessed by bill

turns out it actually is ford and he is both severely depressed and has no idea how to explain his way out of this situation

[senipsenipsenip]

Eventually, the scrapbook ended. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon hours ago, and some nagging part of Stan's brain was telling him kids shouldn't be up this late. Unless they're breaking into a mini golf course. He jerked his head back, furrowing his brow. That was...oddly specific.

"Grunkle Stan?" a little voice - Mabel - questioned. He looked down at his knee to see where his great-niece was sitting, eyeing him with no small degree of concern. "Are you okay?"

He ruffled her hair. "'Course, Pumpkin. Just trying to shake some of those memories back in the right place, huh?" He gave an exaggerated shake of his head, smacking the side like he was trying to get water out his ears. "Got a straggler! Hup! There we go," he grinned, lowering his hand. "Good as new!"

Whatever he said must have been the right thing, because Mabel's eyes had lit up like he'd told her he was turning the Mystery Shack into a cotton candy emporium and Dipper had a sudden death grip on his other leg.

"Geez kid, you're clawing through my pants here," he grumbled, making no move to take away his nephew's hand. "Haven't you chewed your nails off by now? How're they so sharp?"

"You called me Pumpkin," Mabel whispered.

"You remembered I chew my nails," Dipper said in awe. Then he frowned. "Hey, how come Mabel gets a nice one and I get a gross one."

Stan shrugged. "'Cause she's nice, and you're gross."

"Ha! Zoom!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air before collapsing back into Stan's lap in a fit of giggles. Dipper rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he settled back against Stan's other side. Ford stayed perched on the arm of the chair, smiling fondly, but eyebrows still drawn together.

"What's the matter, Sixer?" Stan frowned as Ford grimaced at the nickname. "What?"

Ford waved off Stan's concern. "It's nothing. It's..." Ford sighed. "I'm sorry. It's not nothing. I just don't want to..." He pursed his lips.

"Don't leave us hanging." There was a shake in Stan's voice, and Mabel shifted closer to her Grunkle.

"I'm glad this has been helpful to you," Ford muttered. "But...you don't remember everything. Not really."

"Whaddya mean?" Stan asked. "I remember you, the kids, Soos. The freeloading jerk who steals my sandwiches." Stan glared at Waddles who simply oinked and started trying to eat his shoelace. Whatever. Free pass for jump starting his memories. He better not get used to it.

Dipper sat up. "Yeah, what do you mean, Great Uncle Ford?"

Ford frowned. "I just... Hm." He seemed to be weighing something in his mind before turning to Stan with some resolve.

"Stanley," he began slowly. "I hope you appreciate what I'm about to do for you."

"That's not terrifyingly ominous," Stan muttered, glancing around at the available exits.

"Do you remember my - " Ford cleared his throat. "My first kiss?"

Stan froze. "What?"

"My first kiss, do you remember it?"

"I was there?"

"Yes. Unfortunately a lot of people were."

Mabel squealed beside Stan. "Ooo! Romance memories! How old were you? Was it high school? Was it a high school romance? Was it star-crossed love between the nerd and the cheerleader?"

"Mabel, I think Grunkle Stan is supposed to figure that stuff out."

Mabel sat up and stared at Stan expectantly. "Come on Grunkle Stan! I need details!"

Stan shook his head, nose wrinkling like he'd smelled something rotting. "How should I know? Who asks their brother that sort of thing?"

"Precisely." Ford spoke with the same air of professionalism he adopted when explaining his theories, despite the alarming shade of red his face was becoming. "So far it seems that your memories are returning based on external stimuli, whether that be Mabel's scrapbook or our own prompting."

"So, wait, you're saying I won't get all my memories back?"

"No! No that's not what I'm saying," Ford held up his hands. "What I'm saying is we can't expect them all to come back at once. And at the risk of turning the Shack into the set of the Johnny Carson show, we'll keep asking you questions."

Stan frowned. "What if I don't wanna remember my brother smooching some babe?"

Ford turned redder. "You do."

"I do? Geez, I was a perv."

"In the meantime," Ford pressed. "It's important to take note of any stimulus you experience that makes you remember something. Even if it doesn't paint the whole picture for you, we can fill in the blanks. Or prompt you to remember more details."

Dipper grinned. "And then we get to learn more about the secrets you've been hiding, old man."

Stan lifted his hand to give Dipper a well-earned noogie, but paused before he could make contact. "Old man...did you...did you tell me to shut up one time and then punched me?"

Dipper balked. "What? No I - "

"YEAH no WAY that'd be CRAZY!" Mabel interjected a bit too loudly. "Anyway let's get back to that kissing story, huh?"

"Actually Mabel, I don't know if I want to hear about Great Uncle Ford kissing anybody either."

"Oh come on, Dipper. Are you jealous that The Author got someone to kiss him and you didn't?"

"What? No!"

"Some girls like nerds."

"Mabel I don't want to think about anybody in this room kissing anybody."

"You could learn from him Dipper! Figure out how to wield your nerdish charms. Soon you'll be like a kissing machine!"

"MABEL -"

The twins were silenced by a sudden gasp from Stan. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his jaw hanging open as if someone had knocked the wind out of him.

"Holy - " he choked out softly.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper sat up fully. "Are you okay?"

Stan didn't acknowledge him, eyes darting around minutely.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked softly. "Did you remember something?" Moisture had begun to gather in the corners of Stan's eyes, one of his hands covering his mouth as he began to shake.

"Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper turned to Ford, worry stitching his brows together. But Ford didn't look worried. If anything, he looked like he wanted to disappear through the floor. His face was an alarming shade of red, nearly identical to his sweater. Stan let out another choked sound.

"Are you..." Mabel trailed off. "Grunkle Stan are you laughing?" He was quaking now, his hand falling from his mouth to reveal a wide, open-mouthed smile. He began slapping the arm rest with his free hand, eyes squeezed shut and tears rolling down his cheeks. Dipper and Mabel shared a look. Sure, they'd seen Stan laugh before, but it was usually a loud guffawing thing. They'd never seen him like this. They shared a tentative smile. Either this was the hardest they'd seen him laugh, or he had really snapped.

Ford seemed to pick up on their worry. "He's fine," Ford offered. "He's just...remembering my first kiss." At Ford's words, Stan let out a loud cackle, burying his face in his hands.

Mabel cocked her head. "But what's so funny about -"

"You children must be exhausted," Ford blurted out, standing abruptly. "Come now, go wash up then head to bed!"

"Oh no you don't!" Stan shouted. He wiped tears from his eyes, still smiling. "You're not getting out of this one, pal!"

"Stanley, this conversation is hardly appropriate for children -"

"You brought it up!"

"And now I'm putting a stop to it."

Stan grabbed his head. "Ooooo ow," he gave an exaggerated groan. "My poor head. The mean man won't let me share my memories so they're all going away!"

"Stanley, please don't joke about that."

"I'm fading away - "

"Stanley."

Stan crossed his arms. "You know, you really know how to take the fun out of amnesia."

"Yeah! Come on Grunkle Ford," Mabel pouted. "You can't just leave us hanging!"

"Yeah!" Dipper joined in. "If it's a funny story I want to hear it."

Ford spluttered, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater and looking around for an exit.

"Come on, Sixer," Stan chimed in. His eyes had gone soft around the edges. "I think the kids deserve a funny story."

After today went unspoken. Ford met Stanley's gaze, already feeling his resolve melting before he even turned to his grand-niece and nephew's inquisitive smiles.

"Alright," Ford conceded. "But to maintain the integrity of the exercise, Stanley will be the one to tell it. Whatever he doesn't remember, I can fill in."

Stan rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy, this'll be good."

"I regret this already."

"It's alright Great Uncle Ford," Dipper patted his shoulder. "We have a whole summer's worth of stuff we get to make fun of Grunkle Stan for. This just gives us stuff to use against you now. Levels the playing field."

Ford frowned. "Is that meant to be comforting?"

Dipper shrugged.

"Alright you two, enough yapping." Stan grinned, leaning forward in his seat and spreading his hands out in front of him. It was the same way he started his campfire tales. Mabel and Dipper met each other's eyes and smiled.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Kiss-Bot..."

[yan-randomfandom]

P!Yandere!Pines Family x GN!Teenager!Reader

[PLATONIC] a continuation to this! decided to just make them all yanderes cuz y not lol errmm just subtle ykwim... i'm not proofreading all this so just have my draft

warnings: staring, violence, alcoholics, abuse, blood, implied murder. woah intense

❤️‍🔥

"Then I saved Ford by slicing its eye! You should have seen it!"

You laughed, settling down from your dramatic gestures that you've been making throughout the entire dinner. The entire Pines family watched you in awe, especially Dipper and Mabel, easily captivated by your personality and story.

"Yes, well, they certainly saved my life," Ford chuckled as he fed himself a spoonful of food.

"You have to stop lettin' kids save your life so much," Stan scoffed.

Dipper grabbed a book out of nowhere, clicking his pen in preparation—

"No writing at the dinner table! We talked about this!" Stan called out, earning a sheepish smile from Dipper who immediately drops the book on the ground.

"But what did the monster look like?" Dipper stammered, eventually turning to you with a curious look on his face. He looked eager to learn more. That's what you can tell anyway, if you remove his reddened face, which is most likely from embarrassment.

Mabel, who sat across from you, leaned towards you with the biggest smile on her lips. You grinned back to return her energy. "Bet it was super gross! Was there a lot of blood?! Blaarrrgghhh!!!"

"No gross sounds at the table, pumpkin!" Even Stanley felt like he's tired of his own voice. This is him trying his best to not let you be uncomfortable. Well, he supposed you and his brother brought up the story in the first place.

Speaking of, why were you even here? Ford came back in the mystery shack after missing for a day, only to bring a random teen with him. It's a good thing he cooked extra since he thought Soos was coming over.

But he needed answers fast.

"Ford," Stan whispered firmly, catching his brother's attention. Tilting his head, he tried to signal him to move out, but someone interrupted them before they could do anything.

"Hey! No sneaking out the dinner table!" Mabel exclaimed, pointing a fork at her grunkles.

Stanley stood up and Ford followed his actions. They were already heading out the door with Stan holding his twin's wrist. "Well, sweetheart, VERY REASONABLE EXCUSE!"

As soon as they were out of sight, you and the other kids exchanged looks.

"He did say it's reasonable."

"Yeah, I can live with that."

... You snorted. "You guys are a funny bunch. He literally said the excuse, and you let him go just like that? You must trust each other a lot."

"You have no idea, stranger, you have no idea," Mabel laughed. "Sorry, what was your name again?"

💥

Meanwhile, deep inside the mystery shack, where they were sure there'd be no eavesdropping happening...

"You let the kid stay here without telling their parents?!"

Stanley was freaking out. Yet, he really shouldn't be surprised Ford would do this. Ironically, poindexter would even criticize his behavior, his grunkle methods! How ridiculous is this whole thing, huh?!

"It's more complicated than that! Look, I know this sounds bad—"

"It does!" Stan yelped, his hands clenching. "Their parents must be so worried! And we can't just let them—"

"No, no, Stanley, walk with me here," Ford said, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders. "It's their parents that are the problem."

A few deep breaths from Stan. Alright, okay. This is making more sense now.

"We'll take them to their house first thing in the morning," Ford explained. "Let's see what we'll do from there."

🔥

"I hope my drawing isn't too bad," you chuckled, giving the journal back to Dipper. His eyes skimmed over your illustration of the monster you killed. "It doesn't match yours and Mabel, but..."

"Are you kidding?! It's perfect! Thank you!" Dipper beamed, writing more notes down the rest of the page.

From above, Mabel had her legs folded over the ceiling wood of the house. You looked up and made eye contact, as much as you can anyway. She's upside down.

"Hi! How old are you again?"

How did she even get up there, you wonder. You glanced around, smiling when you realized, and worked your way up.

They stared at you in awe when you climbed right next to Mabel's side. Now you're hanging upside down too. "Cool tricks, Mabel. Hope you don't mind me copying you?"

She doesn't respond, starstrucked. Glancing at Dipper, his jaw was also on the floor.

"Uhhh," you awkwardly smiled, "But I just turned sixteen! You guys are turning thirteen, right?"

"You're the coolest," Mabel whispered, dragging a hand across your face. Okay. That's a bit weird, but it's welcome.

"Thanks," you grinned, manually removing her hand from your face. You looked down at Dipper again. "Hey, Dipper, what time is it?"

He scrambled around and grabbed a watch from somewhere. "Uh, nine o' clock."

"Nine?!" your sudden outburst caused you to fall to the carpet, a pained groan leaving your lips. At least you managed to drop skillfully. "Oh, that hurt."

"Are you okay?!" Dipper rushed to your side, offering a comforting hand on your back.

"Yeah, I just," you paused. "It's nine already? My parents are gonna kill me, man. I gotta go home."

"What!!"

Mabel also dropped down from her outburst, but her landing isn't painful as yours, because you caught her in time. She gazed at you from your arms, stars forming in her eyes.

"Woah. You have fast reflexes!" she squealed as you gently put her down.

Dipper shook his head. "But you can't go home this late at night. Didn't you say you're from outside of Gravity Falls?"

You crossed your arms, pondering. "Yeah, but... Okay, wait, where's Ford?"

Footsteps followed your words. All of you turned to the doorway, seeing the older set of Pines twins. It's kind of amazing, really, you rarely saw twins and this family has two pairs.

"Oh, there you are!" you grinned, walking over to him. Ford blinked at you. "I'm sorry, dude, but I think I overstayed my welcome. I'll go ahead and—"

"Eh, nah," Stanley chimed in, earning your attention, "It's too dark for ya to go out. Let's take you home tomorrow, yeah?"

"But-"

"No butts, they're for sitting," he continued, gently pushing you down on his recliner. You sat down, albeit confused. "Think of it as a sleepover. That's fun, right kids?"

Mabel skipped to your view, an eager grin on her face. "Yeah! We can paint your nails and everything!"

"While I'll show you more of the journals," Dipper beamed, showing one of them to you.

Their ideas were nice, it truly was, but the circumstances are concerning. You couldn't help the frown forming on your lips. They all noticed.

Ford stepped in between them, kneeling and offering you a smile. "Don't worry, kiddo. We'll take good care of you 'til morning. I'm sure your parents will understand."

"I guess I can't really do anything about it," you muttered, eventually accepting the situation. You stood up with a grin. "Okay! Who wants to be unaware of me stealing cool stuff here?!"

"I do!" Mabel screamed, only to pause. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah," Stan squinted, "What?"

You hummed, suddenly behind him, and stared at Stanley's wallet. Ford shook his head at you. "You have a very alarming number of IDs. Is this normal? Then again, you're old."

A laugh left Stan as he took back his wallet from you. "Oh, you got some gift, kid. Didn't even hear or feel you take it!"

"I can teach you," you smiled.

"Please don't," Dipper groaned.

"No need," Stan snorted. "We can pickpocket the whole world together!'

🌬️

"This journal is amazing! And Ford wrote this? Seriously, no wonder why he was so smart!"

You flipped the book page by page, your jaw dropped the whole time. Sure, a while ago, you saw one page, but only because Dipper told you to draw on it. You didn't expect a whole research surrounding Gravity Falls!

"Interesting enough for you to visit Gravity Falls more often?" Dipper chuckled as he watched you.

"Woah," you smiled, "You like my company that much, Dipper? Don't you have any friends here— oh shoot, wait, I didn't mean—"

A ghost of a frown spread through his face. Why did you have to ask that?! You were just projecting if you had to be honest, but still!!!

"Sorry, that was insensitive," you blurted, closing the book and focusing all your attention on him. "I only said that because I feel that way. I know, that's pretty lame."

He looked surprised. "Really? But you're so cool?"

"Some people think I'm weird is all. But thanks for finding me cool, Dip," you laughed, glancing at Mabel who was snoring. "I find you and your sister cool too. A lot, actually. So it's nice to know you both like me."

Dipper sniffed. "Man. Ditto."

You grabbed a blanket and placed it over Mabel's body, making sure she's covered head to toe. She snuggled up to it unconsciously.

"Welp, bed time," you murmured, reaching for another one. You stretched the blanket, letting Dipper be able to invite himself in. "Come on."

He happily accepted, nestling his head next to your shoulder. Mabel followed him, her head tilting to your chest.

You slept, content.

🌪️

You woke up, disturbed.

The first thing you saw after sleeping is Dipper and Mabel staring at you in silence. As soon as you noticed them, they scrambled away from you and tried to act natural.

Yet, you couldn't forget the small glimpse of their faces. Wide-eyed, a bit of judgment, but most of all, solemn.

Before you could question them, Dipper yelled, "Grunkles! They're awake!"

You winced from the volume of his voice, having just woken up. He immediately apologized to you, but it's all good.

"Visit us again soon! Byeee!"

The next thing you know, you're in the backseat of a car with Stanley next to you. He was pouting, arms crossed.

"This is literally my car. I can't believe it! You won't even let me drive my own car?" he sneered at Ford who sat on the driver's seat.

Ford rolled his eyes. "I can't have you get in trouble by driving again. Think of the kid."

While driving to your address is certainly much faster than walking, it still took a while. You managed to fall asleep, tilting your head on Stan's shoulder. It seemed that you're not alone in being unconscious, because he snored loudly.

Glancing at the mirror, Ford simply exhaled.

You're here.

He parked in front of your house.

Ford nudged Stan awake, who poked you awake next.

You stood up drowsily, holding Stan's hand while walking up to your house. Ford took the lead and knocked on your front door.

To both grunkles' disappointment, things get messy.

Both your parents, drunk, loudly told them off and took you away roughly from Stan. Tears leaked out of your eyes, saying countless apologies to the Pines twins and your parents.

Without much of a fight, Ford forcibly grabbed you back, carrying your body with one arm. He looked at Stan who placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Psst, I'll handle this," Stanley murmured in the midst of your father yapping nonsense. Maybe the professional con-man can knock some sense into your deadbeat parents.

Ford took you back to the car. You sobbed relentlessly, whispering the most saddening things he wished to unhear. He hugged you tightly, muttering sweet nothings until you fell asleep.

After a long while, Stan finally came back.

His eyes were wide. He was shaking.

"I didn't mean to. They started it—I had no choice!"

Gazing down, Ford realized Stan's hands were covered in blood. He swallowed the thickness in his throat.

"...I'll help you clean it up."

[jinxthequeergirl]

The Ol Switcharoo (pt7)

Ford x reader/stan x reader

Summary: You realize the two people you thought to be your best friends are actually strangers and take up the task of talking to one of them

Warning: none!

Hi! I hope this is angsty enough for you freaks(lovingly) who ASKED for angst. (I wrote this part completely zooted so hopefully it's good)

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~~~

The household dynamic wasn't the same anymore. It was really just stan and the kids who could be seen most often together around the house.

You found yourself as more of a ghost haunting the place.

You didn't care much to come out of your room much like a sulken teenager. Not when those two strangers were also out. You'd warmed back up to the kids around a week or two. Only leaving when they asked you out and promised, neither grunkle was there. Of course, Mable had to know your every thought and feeling about them.

Most of the time though you found them coming to your room just to talk.

Mable came to you most offten.

"I don't like how everything's changed around here...I mean I like having another Grunkle... but I don't ever see him... I don't see YOU anymore either." You hummed in response, signaling for her to continue as you did her hair.

"And I'm almost in high school! And my high school dreams are ruined! Everything fun about this summer has changed, and it feels bad." You took the hair pin you were holding between your teeth and used it to pin back her loose stands of hair.

"Mable growing up is just a part of life... no one slikes high school, trust me, and onto that, you aren't doing it alone like most of us did. You're always gonna have Dipper." You reassured her. "There!" You held up a mirror for her to see.

"I like it...can we try this one now?" She asked, holding up a picture of a magazine. You rolled your eyes and pulled the freshly formed hairdo down.

"I know Dipper will be with me, but I've been worried we'll end up like...." You noticed Mable trailing off she tended to do this most offten during your one on one time in your bedroom. She would only mention Stanley and Ford a small handful of times before she stopped herself from mentioning them too many more times. It was clearly an unspoken rule she had set in place for your comfort.

"Mable...I didn't know Ford had a brother... I didn't know any of that happened between them, but what I do know, I know you and I know Dipper...what you two have is special you are inseparable trust me!" Mable seemed to lighten up a bit at your confident words.

"You always know how to cheer me up y/n." You you chuckled lightly while focusing on her hair again. There was quiet, only the faint sound of sev'ral timez playing.

"You know... I know it might feel a little hard right now... but don't you think you could talk to both of them? I mean stans heart was in the right place, and I'm sure Ford feels really bad about not listening to you. You give great advice. How could he not!?"

"This is just one of those things..."

"But I miss having you around to help make dinner! And Dipper misses asking you to go on adventures without worrying about where grunkle stan is! I mean, what about your feelings for them!? Wherent those real!? Don't you still feel that way?" Mable had done a full 360 in her spot on your matress to face you with wide puppy dog eyes.

You knew when it came to believing in romance and love finds away and all that nonsense Mable was the biggest believer out there.

"I don't know what I feel for either of them right now, mable ... that's why it's so hard to talk to them right now..." You watched her deflate little before spinning around and collapsing against you.

"Fine! Let's talk about something less... mushy feeling!" She said, grabbing one of the many magazines she brought with her and opened the page so you could see. Eventually she'd fallen asleep and Dipper came looking for her.

You helped bring her up to their shared bedroom.

"Thanks for still talking to us?" Dipper said as you closed the door. "I would never turn my back on you, never Dipper." He smiled and gave you a quick nod. "Good night y/n."

"Goodnight, Dip."

As you ascended the stairs, you heard rustling. Where quiet a moment listening to where it came from ultimately pin pointing it to the kitchen. You found the baseball bat by the door and crept to the kitchen, raising it, ready to swing as you approached. But in the blue light of the fridge, you remembered.

you weren't the only ghost haunting the house lately.

"Oh! I, uh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you!..." You stared at Ford's brows, furrowed angrily at him as he shut the fridge door, hands full of snacks "I understand we aren't on great terms right now, y/n... but the bat?" He asked, pointing to your weapon still raised high in the air.

You lowered it, leaning it against the wall and turning on the light. Ford stared at you in a way you couldn't place, like he was studying you. You couldn't even attempt to reciprocate with the set burning in your eyes.

"I'm sorry I was just leaving-" He said breaking the staring contest.

"This is your house." You mutter walking past him to the fridge.

"Our house." He corrected.

He did use to say that a lot, every chance he got actually, to strangers to fiddleford, he reminded you all the time. Use to.

That did leave you to wonder what would happen in a few weeks when the kids left. What would happen between you, the Pines brothers, and the house. Part of you assumed you'd leave. Part of you didn't want to.

You scanned the fridge, still feeling Fords presence in the room. You sighed, shutting the door.

Mable had a way of tugging at your heart strings. "Can't you just talk to them?"

Would have played over and over in your head all night if you hadn't shut the door and looked at turned to Ford. "Are you going to share that?" You asked, pointing to one of the containers in his hand.

You could visibly see him perk up.

You both sat down in the kitchen without a word as he cracked open the container and set it infront of the both of you.

You both took turns picking from it and eating in silence. Ford still staring at you like he'd never seen you before. In a way you supposed that was almost the case.

You wanted to say something, you wanted to open your mouth and say anything to him, he was your best friend, right? But every time you attempted it felt like you'd forgotten how to talk.

Ontop of that, what would you even say to him? Where would you start?

"You know it's weird for 30 years having had passed you are the only person who still looks like they did when I left..."

You blinked at him. There was slight relief he was starting. "I thought about you every day...about how mad you'd be when you brought me home...never this, though."

"So...what's changed in 30 years? Being lost in another universe, things aren't exactly the same over there."

He was easing you into it.

"Well..." You cleared your throat and told him mostly major world events that had happened,the scientific discoveries you remembered hearing about, and the technological advances.

You ended up talking like you used to. You even laughed. Ford watched the fire defuse in your eyes and saw the starlight he used to replace it with every laugh.

He'd changed. He was still your Ford...he was still Ford but different.

"I...Feel like I know you... but I don't...I don't know you anymore! It feels almost like we've never met." You admitted to him.

"And what's crazier is, too? I thought I DID know you... which makes this worse." Ford let your words sink in a moment. He understood what you meant.

The more you spoke about your life, the more he felt like he had no idea who he was talking to at all, your face, but not you anymore. Different likes and interests. Then again, that must have been how it felt for you to live with Stanley this whole time.

He cleared his throat and stood. You assumed he was leaving. Instead, he pulled out a piece of paper.

"Y/n...I have something I would like to say."

"You wrote me a speech?" You asked, looking up at him. "Well.. it's more of an apology... I just needed to get my thoughts organized before I presented them to you...then, of course, you've been hiding, but that doesn't matter now." He cleared his throat once again.

"I am sorry. Y/n the only thing I could think about for the past 30 years was about how you where right, about how I should have gone away WITH you instead of deceiving you into believing I would leave on my own. You were only trying to do what was best for me. You always have. Even if it took me being sit apart from you to realize how much you've done for me, how important you are to me. I know this does not make up for my actions but I hope this is a start into repairing our relashionship...friendship."

You smiled lightly and stood up, extending your hand. He grinned and took your hand, shaking it.

Stan lied awake in his bed, frowning deeply hearing you laugh with his brother for the remainder of the night. Sure, he messed up, but did the time you shared mean nothing?

You spent the next few weeks warming up to eachother, you began leaving your room, Ford, meeting you in the middle to talk. Luckily, you had plenty of stories to tell each other. And lots to talk about.

You noticed Dipper following Ford. You smiled at the sight of Dipper with Ford, they where a perfect duo. You felt like things were slipping back into place. You started talking to stan too. Not much, only greetings in passing or a quick conversation about the kids here and there.

The only thing different was Ford wasn't the only person you found yourself able to talk to.

"You're really just going to forgive him like that!?" Bill voice echoed around your mind. You shrugged in response.

You began a weekly meeting with Bill. You found he was of good use. He let you vent about stan and Ford, being an interdemensinal being means having lots of cool powers that let you blow off steam.

Tonight was just a normal of one of these "hangouts"

"He wrote a whole, sincere apology...he was my friend at one point, and i even -"

You could see Bill make a disappointed expression. "After all he put you through!? After never once showing you any feeling, you're really going to pull "I even had feelings for him once." Card? He was a different man back then."

You sighed.

"Listen, I say don't trust it, he's always down in that basment, right!? He's not once invited you back there to help him he's hiding something from you. "

"Oh, like you'd know you don't exist outside of my mind! You wouldn't know what it's like with him."

"Believe me, I know more than you know... but if that's how you really feel..." He extended his hand a blue flame engulfing it.

"Lend me your body for a few hours, and I can prove to you that Stanford Pines doesn't have your best interest."

"Why!?" You asked recoiling from him. "Why do you care so much about Ford not being trust worthy?"

"C'mon y/n! Have I ever steered you wrong!?" You chewed on your lip thinking about it.

You just wanted to be certain you could let him back into your life. You thought about it.

Just to be certain, you agreed with yourself and shook his hand.

Ford stared at the contents of a jar while once again crawling in his notebook, though he wasn't even noting the creator on the page.

Ford found himself once again filling pages with your likeness. He'd forgotten the hold you actually had on him until you began opening back up to him.

He would admit he missed the you that used to love all the science and engineering. But he was particularly fond of the version you'd grown into. He hadn't realized, but most of his time was spent in a daze over you. He also found himself wondering what exactly your relationship with Stanley was. He knew you two still wheren not talking to eachother so he never got to ask.

He also feared he might not like what he heard, especially if it's what he thought it was between you two. He could feel jealous rise up in his chest when he thought about it. Which was ridiculous, of course. He wasn't here. Of course, you'd move on. You never stated the nature of your relationship with him when he was here. But that didn't change anything.

"Fordsy!.."He sat up right in right in his chair, blinking in shock at the call of your voice.

"Y/n!?" He quickly scattered, hiding the artwork from you.

"Uhm what are..what are you doing down here?"

He watched you walk in with your hands folded behind your back despite how you danced on the edge of shadow he could see something different about you.

Not just like the other good differences he's noticed in you.

"I just came to see you fordsy... "

His face flushed at the way you had said that.

"I..i.." You laughed.

It was different from your normal laugh. Between the flush you were causing him and the human voice. He would have never picked up on why it still sounded familiar.

You stepped into the small circle of light, closing a lot of space between you and Ford, your head hung low, as if you were embarrassed. "I have something to tell you sixer."

"Ye..yes? You can tell me anything!"

"I've always been kinda in love with you!" Before he could say anything, you leaned forward, throwing your whole body weight onto him, pushing him back against his desk.

Engulfing him in the deepest kiss, you could muster.holding his face in your hands. You pulled away a wild grin spread across your face. As you forced him to look at you.

"Did you miss me sixer!? Admit it, you missed me!!" You said rolling your eyes playfully, still smashing his face in your hands.

Ford nearly choked when your eyes met his.

"Do you like my new body sixer!?I picked it just for you!"

~~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~~

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[gay-dorito-dust]

I can totally see stan and his spouse trying to domestic a raccoon they randomly found

You were the living room when you heard Stan tussle with something outside after hearing something range through your trash. He was cursing up a storm for certain that you were glad that Ford had taken Dipper and Mabel out for the day for a lesson in the dangers of fae traps.

Once the tussling was over you fully expected him to come back into the shack, trusted broom in hand, complaining to you about how another blonde haired and blue eyed beautiful man was eating out of the trash cans…again; but when you moved from Stan’s recliner to greet him, you saw that not only was he in a worse state, he also wasn’t alone as hanging from his arm was a trash covered raccoon.

‘So I see you found the culprit to all that noise.’ You commented as you walked towards Stan with a smile, ‘and what a cutie they are! Oh yes you are!’ You cooed as you quickly took the raccoon from biting Stan’s arm and into your own as though you were swaddling a newborn baby, smiling down at it as the raccoon only looked back up at you with its dark eyes.

Stan, more than use to your urge to adopt and care for even the wildest of animals, walked up behind you and looked down at the raccoon over your shoulder. ‘He’s only the second cutest thing you’ve ever seen besides me, right?’ He asked and you only kissed his cheek before burrowing your head into his neck. ‘Of course you are Stanley.’ You reassured him softly before adding, ‘what shall we name this little guy?’

‘Little shit.’ Stan answered immediately but you playfully slapped his chest.

‘We can’t call him that! We have kids in the house remember!’ You chided him gently as you felt the raccoon grow restless in your arms, looking for a way to break out and escape from his weird human captors. ‘How about bandit?’ You then said and Stan stayed quiet for a bit as he mulled over the name in his head before smiling and kissing your cheek. ‘You’re a genius doll face! Bandit Pines welcome to the family!’ He exclaimed as he reached a hand down to affectionately scratch the raccoon on the stomach, only for the raccoon to chomp down on his finger, causing Stanley to let out a pained yell.

‘Ow!’

‘Bandit!’ You scolded and the raccoon immediately looked at you with wide eyes and flattened ears, ‘that’s not very nice, apologise to your father!’ You then held the raccoon up to Stan’s face. At first the raccoon didn’t do anything other stare at Stan, who was staring right back at him, but soon reached his little paws out to press against Stanley’s cheeks as Bandit sniffed and then licked his nose and forehead, making him chuckle at the tickling sensation.

‘Apology accepted little rascal.’ Stan said as he scratched Bandit behind the ear with his good hand, ‘but we should probably get Ford’s first aid kid and sort this bite out before it gets worse.’ Stan adds as he shows you his injured finger and you winced. ‘You’re right, we should get that patched up.’ You agreed though not before settling bandit down on Stan’s recliner and giving the raccoon a stern look.

‘You stay here while I take care of your father, then after I’m done it’s time we give you a bath, okay?’ You smiled but the second the raccoon was set down on the recliner, it bolted off of it and ran out of the door the second Ford had opened it, scaring him and the twins as they hide behind their Grunkle as bandit escaped into the woods nearby; You and Stan probably should’ve suspected that this would happen really but there was a reason why you were together, and seemingly adopting wild animals was your favourite pass time together when bored.

Ford sighed in exasperation as he looked at you and Stan’s still figures as you both looked back at him as though he had caught you both eating Dipper and Mabel’s summerween candy stash. ‘Again?’ He asked as you and Stan only shrugged your shoulders, thinking that what Ford had just seen was all he needed to know to get the full context of what had happened, you and Stan tried to domestic a raccoon and it didn’t work.

‘They’re wild animals for a reason, you can’t just file down their claws and fangs and not expect them to retaliate within their nature.’ Ford continues as he sent the kids up to their room to prevent them from seeing him scold their Grunkle and Great aunt/ uncle for the fourth time that week.

‘But we have waddles.’ You countered and Stan made a noise of agreement.

‘Fair point but you did just try to adopt a raccoon, you do know that right?’ Ford asked, severely questioning yours and his brother’s intellect for thinking that domesticating such a thing was even possible. You pouted. ‘He wasn’t just a raccoon, he was our son…for five minutes.’

‘I don’t like you disrespecting our son of five minutes pointdexter.’ Stan added on as he held you in his arms.

Ford couldn’t begin to comprehend anything that he was hearing and just walked out of the room in disbelief, his family was weird, but he was one to judge when he made a kissing robot in highschool for practice, full on incinerated his own face when he needs a shave, and tried to keep a three eyed crow he once found out of curiosity.

[fangirlingpuggle]

Please tell me more about your au where the twins are billford kids please please please

Hey there haven't been able to stop thinking about AU so here more additional thoughts

Mable and Dipper not knowing about their deal power until later, like Mabel accidentally making deal with Pacifica/challenging her and suddenly her hand is on fire '...that's not good' twins frantically trying to fix everything and now they have a no deals rule.

Well after some experimentation the twins wanted to know what would happen if they tried to make deals with each other... both hands catch on fire and well... Grunkle Stan watching TV and then turning head to see his niece and nephew turned in ash ans still slightly smoldering.

Others slowly finding out about their demon forms, Candy and Grenda they love Mabel's demon form and think it's so cool... they also help her experiment with powers... it usually ends in chaos.

Wendy finding out, realizing these 2 kids have had to live copped up indoors and not do anything like go to school and have friends and is instantly like 'I am going to make sure you 2 have so much fun, you are going to have coolest summer ever!'

Pacifica also finds out, because of demon deal but pretends she doesn't. It's only later she reveals.

Mabel: YOU KNEW IT WAS ME?

Pacifica: YOU WERE STILL WEARING A GIANT SWEATER OF COURSE I KNEW IT WAS YOU!

All the life threatening events are far more less threatening it's less my life is in danger more like I need to blow I'm not human/ I can't let my powers go crazy cause otherwise things are gonna get weird and maybe worse.

Whenever Stan hears the kids voices he automatically looks up he's really used to then kids floating.

Bill finding out he's parent freaking out and the Henchmanics are torn between 'WE'RE HONORARY AUNTS/UNCLES' and... welp fuck probably not gonna be able to make while worlds a party since Bill is already asking about how to baby proof the mindscape.

When Ford comes back it's him that faints this time... everyone else has known about him for ages.

Mable and Dipper have seen journal 1 and then journal 3 after Dipper finds it (Stan is not surprised, kid is so much like Ford of course he's find where the nerd hid it... now they only need the 2nd journal) Mabel's seen the writing about don't trust him about Bill and seeing journal 2 she puts together her parents aren't.... on the best terms. She still is on the matchmaking thing cause she has an ideal dream of 2 happy parents along with her twin, grunkle stan and big brother Soos.

Fiddleford even when meeting twins for first time in human form is terrified of them. He is scared every time and he doesn't know why just instinctual fear.

[woobiedoovo]

teen!ford chasing old!stan, who is oblivious to just how intensely ford lusts after him and keeps treating ford like a little brother/son!!!!!!!!!!!! head pats and praises and walking around in his slutty little tank top and boxers bc he's an old man who doesnt have to worry abt someone perving on him, completely unaware of the way ford eyes him so dirtily!!!!

teen!ford who is so flustered and frustrated by stan's behavior that he pops angry boners and constantly has to excuse himself. stan is sad because he thinks ford is avoiding him out of hatred. little does stan know that as soon as ford is out of stan's sight he's fisting his cock to the thought of bending stan over and showing that old man just how much of a grown up he is.

Literally going insane over this ask, thank you so much Anon. It’s a lot, so I’m putting it under the cut!

Teen!Ford with Old man Stan is one of my favorite tropes, especially when Stan is the bottom, (is that even a surprise at this point?) because teen Ford would be going feral around Stan. Whether it’s where Ford has been de-aged, a time travel incident, or it’s simply a world where Stan and Ford weren’t twins, Ford would be so fucking thirsty over Stan.

We’re going with the Grunkle Stan/Grand-Nephew scenario >:)) maybe I’ll expand on the others one day!!

So! Old man Stan is estranged from his family for many different reasons, but mainly because he’s a criminal and was disowned by his Father when he was a teen. But he was able to stay in contact with Shermie and his son, who eventually reached out to him about housing Ford for the summer. Apparently it was his last summer before he went off to college and his parents wanted the kid to have a good send off before he left.

Stan is fucking ecstatic, though a bit wary. He wasn’t the best influence, he knew that, and he hadn’t seen Ford since he was a itty-bitty baby. So he was a bit nervous about seeing the kid again.

Ford on the other hand was not looking forward to spending the summer in a hick town with his crook of a Great-Uncle. That was until he saw him.

The man was exactly his type. Broad and large, with greying hair and a crooked, yellow grin, and holy shit Ford was hard as hell. He almost fainted when he got home and found out what Stan’s home attire was, with his stomach hanging out for Ford to ogle. The man wore a girdle, hiding the absolute masterpiece of a body underneath it. It was blasphemous, and Ford needed to find that girdle and burn it immediately.

That night he masturbated to Stan, fucking into his fist and imagining it was the man’s mouth. He wanted to feel the man’s chapped lips around his cock. He wanted to grab his short grey hair and force him to take him whole, to choke on his dick. He wanted to look into those dough eyes and see them tearing up as he struggled to breathe.

The next morning Ford acted like he didn’t just cum the hardest he’s ever had in his entire life, and asked Stan to take him on a tour around town.

After that, he spent every moment of everyday trying to get close to his Grunkle, and slowly his lust transformed into love.

Stan is having the time of his life. He never realized how lonely he was until Ford came into his life. Now he had a little shadow that followed him everywhere. He started to see Ford as his own kid, and he has never been happier.

Of course he didn’t notice the way Ford looked at him. How whenever they hugged Ford’s hands rested just a bit too low on his back. How when Ford insisted they cuddled on the couch when they watched T.V. together he would bury his head in Stan’s chest, practically suffocating himself in his tits.

He didn’t notice how his clothes would go missing, only to appear a few days later like nothing happened. He didn’t notice when Ford would glare at anyone who dared to flirt with him. And he never knew that Ford had found that old porn magazine he had posed for in his storage room and practically worshiped the damn thing.

Ford has been trying to show Stan how mature he was the whole summer. He laid down his entire life plan (which involved going to West Cost Tech, getting 12 PHDS, becoming the lead researcher in CryptoZoology, getting married, and then spending the rest of his life researching anomalies) and Stan had only laughed and asked who he was planning on marrying. Ford couldn’t just blurt out that he was the one he was going to marry, and then had to suffer through Stan telling him how anybody would be lucky enough to marry him and how he’d meet the one someday, not knowing that Ford had already found them.

Ford was just happy Stan was still single. He had no idea how the man hadn’t been snatched up yet, he was literally sex on legs, but Ford was forever grateful.

After many, many more attempts to make Stan see him as something more than a little kid, he decides to take a more… unconventional method.

He started to try to seduce Stan. He’d walk around with no shirt, wear his green shorts he knew were way to short and hugged his dick and ass just right, he’d walk around in only a towel after showering claiming he forgot to bring his clothes to the bathroom with him, and he made sure to grunt and moan loudly every night when he was masturbating to that stupidly hot magazine he found of Stan.

Stan is literally going insane. Ford had been acting differently. He’s been walking around the house practically naked, he’s jerking off crazy loud at night, and he swears between the grunts and moans he’s hearing whispers of his name. This shouldn’t be turning him on so much, he shouldn’t be getting hard at the thought of Ford masturbating to him, so he starts to pull away from Ford. Maybe if he just avoided it, it would just all go away.

This, obviously, does not please Ford, and he decides that he was done playing games.

The next night, Ford corners Stan and confesses to him. He tells him about how he loved him, how he wanted to stay in Gravity Falls with him after he goes to West Coast, and how they were meant to be together.

Stan is trying to tell Ford that he’s just a kid, and that he was confused, but Ford isn’t having it.

He pins Stan down and starts to rut against him, wanting to show him that he wasn’t confused at all, and that he wanted him.

Stan has the strength to pull away, but he doesn’t. Whether it was because he wanted this or he didn’t want to hurt Ford, he was unsure. So he allowed Ford to press his dick against his hip and to pant and moan in his ear, talking about how good Stan felt, about how he’s wanted to do this since they met, how he couldn’t wait to fuck Stan.

Stan of course tries to pull away after that, knowing he’s let things get out of control, and as the adult he shouldn’t be encouraging this, but the way that Ford whined when he tried to move away made him freeze.

Ford trails his hands over Stan’s wife beater, pulling the tank-top under Stan’s armpits to suck eagerly at his chest, biting and pulling at his nipples in unpracticed, rough motions.

Stan would just moan and throw his head back, wrapping one hand around the back of Ford’s neck, just resting it there. He couldn’t encourage this, he repeated to himself, but the way Ford eagerly ran his hand over his body drove him insane.

Ford pulls back, eyes wide and pupils blown with lust as he stares at Stan’s now puffy, abused nipples. Gorgeous, his Grunkle was gorgeous.

“Not a little kid now, am I Grunkle Stan?” He’d say, sitting on Stan’s chest, tapping the man’s stubbled chin with the tip of his cock.

“I’ve been waiting for this since we met. Please Grunkle Stan, for me?” The way Ford’s lips curled around the words made Stan feel light headed, and he allows Ford to slowly inch his dick into his mouth, easily accepting the intrusion.

“Ah, I knew you’d be a good cock sucker Grunkle.” Ford whispers, slowly pumping his hips back and forth, gently fucking Stan’s mouth. Then, he’d grab Stans hair like he’s dreamed of doing and starts to jackhammer his hips, forcing his cock deeper and deeper into Stan’s throat. The old man’s gag reflex is non-existent, and he quickly deep throats the boys cock. Stan is gurgling and moaning under Ford as he fucked his mouth ruthlessly, and Ford’s thrusts grew more and more sloppy before he came, not allowing Stan to pull away, pumping his seed down the old man’s throat.

Collapsing on top of the man, Ford pants, exhausted. Stan is still recovering underneath him, mind racing, and he knows that the rest of the summer just got a lot more complicated.

[timeslugarts]

Grunkle Stan x Reader What happens when you see Stan after his memory is wiped?

A/N: idk if this is any good, I literally just had this idea and to get it out, so here you go, I guess.

“What do you mean he lost his memory?” You look from Stan sitting on the chair to Ford who stands twiddling his fingers.

You had been left behind in The Shack as the others went to Bill's lair to rescue Ford. You don't remember much having been knocked unconscious from Bill tearing the giant mech apart, but when you awoke you lay by Stan's recliner everything exactly how it's always been, light gently streaming in through the windows, sounds of crickets and birds just outside. Like nothing had happened at all.

That is until Ford and the kids returned, guiding Stan to his usual seat. You were so relieved, tears burning your eyes. They were all home, they were all safe. Stan was alive.

You had rushed into his arms as he sat on the chair. Your knees hitting the floor as you wrapped yourself around his middle. That's when you knew something was wrong. Stan had stiffened at your touch, an awkward arm coming around patting you gingerly on the back.

Your head whipped up making eye contact with Stan who was looking back at you with uncertainty. A soft blush dusting the tips of his ears, under normal circumstances this would have been very cute, but not now.

Ford spoke up, “He saved us all, but in order to do so we… we had to wipe his memory.”

“It can't be gone, there has to be something we can do!” Mabel yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks. She ran out of the living room in a flurry of hiccups and potential ideas to get Stan's memory.

“I don't understand,” you breathed, “wipe his memory?” But you knew, you understood perfectly well. You just refused to believe it.

Ford walked over to you and gently put a hand on your shoulder, “he saved everyone in Gravity Falls, he's a hero. He's a hero and he doesn't even know it.”

The dam broke and you felt yourself begin to cry. “He was always a hero,” you looked back into his eyes, nothing was there, no recognition, he had no idea who you were. “You were my hero.”

Stan finally had to look away, even in his state of amnesia he still couldn't take a compliment.

You chuckled pathetically.

Standing on shaky legs you made your way onto the back porch and collapsed, you balled yourself and began to sob. Quietly, you didn't want anyone to heat you, even though they very well knew what you were doing.

A stretch of time passed and you had finally managed to cry yourself out. Your eyes still burned but you were just looking at the sky as it quickly became dusky.

The screen door screeched open and shut behind you. You didn't bother to look, it had to have been Ford checking in on you.

“Listen doll-”

Your eyes slid over to Stan as he grunted sitting on the porch next to you. Seeing his face with no recognition of you hurt so much you almost began to cry again. At least he was alive, you kept telling yourself.

“I may not remember you, but I can tell you were someone special to me.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes understatement of the year.

“Stop that, it's annoying when you do that.” he flicked your shoulder, “I'm just trying to be comforting.” You blinked a couple of times, eyes opening wider.

“As I was saying,” he cleared his throat, putting his hand gently on your back, “if you are someone important then I'm going to do all I can to make sure you stay that way.”

You smiled softly looking over at him, he was smiling back. “Thanks Stan, you know maybe I can get something out of this no memory thing, like a puppy or a raise?” You quirked an eyebrow up.

He rolled his eyes, “don't press your luck toots.” He groaned standing to his feet, knees popping, “I'll never understand why you prefer sitting on the stoop when there's a perfectly good couch right there.” he grumbled more to himself than anything.

He shook his and started walking back inside, “Now come on Ford said he's got dinner almost ready.”

All you could do was stare after him, your eyes wide as tears began to slip down your face again, but this time you were smiling.

[nephalem-da]

Elara’s Playdate

(Bill Cipher x OC)

Synopsis: Bill Cipher drops off his mischievous baby daughter, Elara, with the unsuspecting Pines family while he celebrates his anniversary. Chaos quickly unfolds as the Pines struggle to control the demonic toddler, leading to the complete wreckage of the Mystery Shack.

The Mystery Shack was unusually quiet as the Pines family enjoyed a rare moment of peace. Mabel was doodling in her scrapbook, Dipper was buried in a journal, Stan was counting money behind the counter, and Ford was studying an ancient artifact. It was a day like any other—or so they thought.

A sudden surge of energy rippled through the shack, making the lights flicker. Before anyone could react, a portal opened in the middle of the room, swirling with bright colors. The Pines family jumped to their feet, immediately on guard. Stan reached for his brass knuckles, Mabel grabbed her grappling hook, and Ford quickly pulled out his ray gun.

Out of the portal stepped none other than Bill Cipher, but this time, he wasn’t alone. In his arms was a small, light purple triangle with a single eye and a giggle that could only be described as mischievously adorable.

“Hey, nerds!” Bill greeted with a wide grin, ignoring the fact that the Pines were ready to attack. “No need to get your knickers in a twist. I’m not here to cause trouble—well, not for the next few hours, at least.”

“Bill!” Dipper exclaimed, stepping forward, his journal clutched tightly in his hands. “What are you doing here? And… what is that?”

“This, Pine Tree, is my darling daughter, Elara.” Bill’s voice was almost proud as he looked down at the giggling little triangle in his arms. “Isn’t she just the cutest little reality-warper you’ve ever seen?”

The Pines family was stunned into silence. Ford, who had been studying Bill intently, looked the most shocked. “A child? But… how is that possible?”

Bill chuckled, seemingly enjoying their confusion. “Oh, it’s possible, Sixer. Just because you haven’t figured it out yet doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Anyway, it’s me and Mae’s anniversary today, and we’ve got some cosmic chaos planned. But we can’t exactly take our bundle of joy with us, now can we?”

Before anyone could protest, Bill floated over to Mabel and gently placed Elara in her arms. The little triangle cooed, looking up at Mabel with wide, innocent eyes. Mabel’s heart melted instantly, despite the fact that this was Bill Cipher’s offspring.

“Mabel, sweet shooting star, you’re in charge of her while we’re out,” Bill said, his tone suddenly serious. “If anything happens to my precious Elara, well… let’s just say you’ll find out there are fates worse than being turned into a sock puppet.”

Mabel gulped but nodded, unable to resist the adorable cooing of Elara. “Don’t worry, Bill! I’ll take good care of her.”

“Good!” Bill grinned, satisfied. “Mae sends her regards, by the way. And with that, I’m off!”

With a snap of his fingers, Bill disappeared back into the portal, which closed behind him with a flash of light, leaving the Pines family in stunned silence once again. Elara wriggled in Mabel’s arms, making a soft, happy noise that was almost too cute for words.

“Did that just happen?” Dipper finally asked, still trying to process what had just occurred.

“Yes,” Ford replied, his voice filled with disbelief. “Yes, it did.”

“Well, we can’t just leave it—her—alone,” Mabel said, looking down at Elara, who was now sucking on one of her tiny points as if it were a thumb. “She’s too adorable!”

Stan grumbled, crossing his arms. “Adorable or not, that thing is still Bill Cipher’s kid. I say we toss it back into whatever dimension it came from.”

“No way, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel protested, holding Elara protectively. “She’s just a baby. And besides, if Bill finds out we didn’t take care of her, who knows what he’ll do!”

Dipper sighed, knowing Mabel was right. “Okay, so what do we do? How do we take care of a… a baby triangle?”

Ford adjusted his glasses, deep in thought. “We’ll have to treat her like any other child—keep her entertained, fed, and most importantly, keep her from using any of her powers.”

“Easier said than done,” Dipper muttered.

The day that followed was nothing short of chaotic. Elara, despite her innocent appearance, quickly proved to be a handful. She had a knack for getting into trouble, whether it was floating up to the ceiling to play with the light fixtures, or phasing through walls to explore hidden rooms in the shack.

At one point, Stan tried to distract her with some toys, only for Elara to accidentally turn them into living creatures that began to wreak havoc in the living room. It took all of Dipper’s quick thinking and Mabel’s grappling hook to catch the rogue toys and return them to their inanimate state.

“Who knew babysitting a demonic triangle would be this hard?” Mabel panted, wiping sweat from her brow as she and Dipper corralled the last of the animated toys.

Elara giggled, clearly enjoying the chaos she had caused, while Stan looked like he was about ready to pull his hair out.

By the time the day was over, the Mystery Shack was in complete disarray. Furniture was overturned, pipes were leaking, and Stan’s prized taxidermy collection had been knocked over. The Pines family was utterly exhausted, sprawled out on the floor around Elara, who was now contently gnawing on a rubber duck Mabel had given her.

As the sun set, another portal opened in the middle of the room. Bill floated through, looking as pleased as ever, with Mae following close behind. The Pines family groaned, too tired to even get up.

“Well, well, well!” Bill exclaimed, surveying the wreckage with a laugh. “Looks like little Elara had a great time! Didn’t you, sweetie?”

Elara cooed happily, floating up into her father’s arms. Mae, who had been silently observing, shook her head with a small, amused smile. “Honestly, Bill, you could’ve warned them about how energetic she is.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Bill winked at her before turning back to the Pines. “You all did a decent job keeping her in one piece, so I guess I’ll keep my promise.”

“Promise?” Stan grumbled, struggling to sit up. “What promise?”

“I promised I might stop messing with you for a week if you kept her safe,” Bill said with a smirk. “Consider it your lucky break.”

Mabel, despite being utterly exhausted, couldn’t help but smile at Elara. “She really is cute, though.”

Mae floated over to Mabel, a soft expression on her face. “Thank you for looking after her, Mabel." She patted her head, "I knew I could count on you."

Mabel giggled as she handed Elara to Mae's outstretched hands, "Your welcome!"

Bill looked down at the Pines family one last time. “Well, it’s been fun, but we’ve got to get going. Mae, Elara, let’s roll!”

As the portal reopened, Bill and Mae floated through with Elara in tow. Just before the portal closed, Bill turned back with a mischievous grin. “See you around, nerds! And remember, don’t miss me too much!”

With that, the portal closed, leaving the Pines family in the wrecked remains of the Mystery Shack, utterly exhausted but strangely content.

Ford looked around at the chaos and let out a weary sigh. “I suppose we should be grateful that’s all they did."

Dipper nodded in agreement, leaning back against the wall. “Yeah, but I have a feeling this won’t be the last time we see them.”

Mabel, still holding the gem Mae had given her, smiled to herself. “I kind of hope not. Elara was pretty fun, in a weird, terrifying way.”

Stan groaned, dragging himself to his feet. “You kids are nuts. I need a nap.”

As the Pines family slowly began to clean up the mess, they couldn’t shake the feeling that their lives had just gotten a whole lot more complicated. But then again, when it came to Gravity Falls, nothing was ever simple.

[42ap]

Previously, Stanford, who came back as an Alpha:

After returning, Stanford basically turned into an annoying teenager. Maybe it was some kind of portal malfunction? He used to be a Beta, and during his time in dimensions without the three-gender system, he was just an ordinary person. But after coming back, he suddenly became an Alpha—physiologically, it was like experiencing teenage secondary differentiation for the first time. He became irritable, sharp-tongued, and absolutely insistent on following the kids around whenever they went exploring, no matter how many times Stan told him to give them some space. Somehow, he managed to drive out all the monsters in the area, and while he fed the kids—which was a good thing—his cooking was terrible. The most outrageous thing was that he drove all the tourists away from the Mystery Shack, refusing to let anyone set foot on his territory. Poor Stan, trying to handle four newly-differentiated hormonal teenagers in the house, found his only ally in Soos, who was miraculously still normal. One day, at his wit’s end, Stan called a family meeting:

Dipper: "Oh, I’ve heard about some companies that are making emotional comfort dolls! They’re infused with artificial pheromones to calm down stressed-out single Alphas. It’s a popular new therapy in mental health clinics."

Mabel: "Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh! Grunkle Ford! Let me make you a doll! What kind of doll do you want? How about a caterpillar? Or maybe a spider with human hands? All eight hands could hug you at once!"

Stanford: "I have no idea what you’re talking about. This is completely absurd!" (clinging to Stan) "I’m a scientist. My time is meant for exploring and researching the rational world, not wasting it on this psychological nonsense!" (nipping and nuzzling) "Everything I’ve been doing is to protect you! Bill is still out there!" (nipping and nuzzling) "I’m not some hormone-driven teenager." (clinging to Stan) "This is just simple biology. We’re human, and what separates us from animals is our ability to control primal impulses—especially scientists like me!" (nipping and nuzzling) "You’re all being ridiculous. Am I the only rational adult in this room?" (nipping and nuzzling)

[stupidvillainousposts]

Some Werewolf Gene AU Stuff for the Holiday but It's Mostly Stuff I Thought was Funny on an Empty Stomach

Note: This is pre-Ford returning

Fidds: *Accidentally Cuts His Finger While Welding* AGH! FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW!

Stan: *Immediately Beginning to Undress* I mean, if that's what ya really want.

---------------------------------

Mabel: Grunkle Stan! Can me and Dipper go get a turkey with Soos?

Stan: Kids, you know the rule about going into town.

Dipper: But you and Grunkle Fidds go into town almost every day!

Stan: Yeah, at night. And even then we try to stay hidden.

Soos: Mr. Dad-

Stan: Not your dad.

Soos: Mr. Pines, would you feel better if they, like, wear hoodies so their ears are covered? They could wear long shirts to hide their tails.

Stan: *Glares at Soos for a Second* The instant my ears pick up any type of screaming, I'm gonna look for and ground all three of you.

-------------------------------

Fidds, while basting the turkey: Stanley, honey, could ya do me a favor and check on the pies?

Stan: Sure, I got nothin' better to do. *Walks up to the Oven and Opens the Oven Door*

Soos, entering the shack without warning: Do I smell apple pie?

Stan: Soos? What are you doing here?

Mabel, happily: Soos is here?!

Dipper: Is he staying for Thanksgiving dinner?

Stan: Kids, Thanksgiving is a family holiday, remember?

Fidds: I dunno, Oats, we've known Soos since he was a youngin'. Don'tcha think that makes him one of us?

Stan: *Groans Before Closing the Oven* Fine, but you don't count as a kid. Only the pups get to break the wishbone.

Soos: Ooh, I can't wait to see who wins!

----------------------------

Mabel: *Frowns at the Potato Salad on Her Plate* Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Fidds, I don't like potato salad.

Stan: What? Since when?

Mabel: Since always! The ingredients don't go good together for me.

Dipper: I'll eat it.

Stan: No, you won't. Pumpkin, eat the potato salad or no pie.

Fidds: Oats, don't be grumpy. She don't have t' eat somethin' she don't like. 'sides, Dipper offered t' eat it, so it won't be wasted!

Soos: Yeah, Mr. Dad-

Stan: Not your dad.

Soos: Yeah, Mr. Pines! I know my grandma doesn't like it when I don't eat food because it ends up getting tossed out, and that's something we really can't afford. But at least someone's offering to eat it for Mabel.

Everyone Else: *Silently Take in Soos' Statement*

Stan: Alright, fine. Give Dipper the stuff.

Mabel: Can I still get pie?

Fidds: Of course, darlin'.

Mabel: WHOO!

-----------------------------

Mabel: I'm thankful for my family.

Dipper: I'm thankful for our shack.

Fidds, hugging Stan: I'm thankful for my darlin' sweetheart.

Stan, blushing: Yeah, ditto I guess.

Soos: I'm thankful that we didn't miss the Peanuts Thanksgiving Special!

Everyone Else: *Enthusiastic Agreement*

[senipsenipsenip]

Stan shook his head, chuckling as he hung up the phone. Geez, if he hadn't put a stop to that he was pretty sure his nephew was going to overheat and explode like one of Ford's old computers. Speaking of, he should probably make sure the fire extinguisher down in the lab wasn't expired if Ford and Dipper were gonna be messing around down there the rest of the summer.

Eh, that was a tomorrow problem. Dipper was still up in the attic with Mabel unpacking for another summer in Gravity Falls. Hopefully that meant Stan had at least twenty-four hours until the nerds started blowing stuff up. Mabel and Dipper's parents had seemed surprised the twins wanted another summer with their Grunkle Stan. After all, they were teenagers now, Stan couldn't blame their parents for expecting the two of them to want to spend a summer with kids their own age in California rather than an old fart in the middle of the woods. Well, two old farts, but their parents didn't know about the second one. Besides, Ford would probably object to being called a fart. He'd probably complain that's not the proper term Stanley, if anything I'm an old flatulence.

Stan shuddered. Man, he musta been on that boat with his brother for too long.

"GRUNKLE STAAAAAAAAAN!"

Speaking of the kids. Stan grunted as he hefted himself out of his armchair and made his way up the stairs toward the attic. There hadn't been any sound of breaking glass before Mabel's call, so he figured he could take his time getting up there. He heard a loud thump, a groan from Dipper, and a loud giggle from Mabel. Okay, maybe he should walk a little faster.

"There you are!" Mabel called. Stan stood in the doorway, staring at both of his niblings sprawled out on the floor, a half-rolled poster laying between them and a hammer still clutched in Mabel's hands.

"Dipper's trying to hang up this poster, but he's still not tall enough. I tried climbing on his back, but I guess he still hasn't gotten his puberty muscles yet." Mabel scrambled up and ran to Stan, holding out the hammer in front of her. "Can you do it?"

"I do too have muscles," Dipper grumbled, sitting up. "But no one can expect to hold up the forty pounds of sequins on your sweater and your giant head!"

Mabel stuck her tongue out at her brother. Stan laughed and took the hammer from her, ruffling her hair.

"No sweat, Pumpkin. Let a real man take over." He couldn't ignore the way Mabel's smile grew wider at the nickname. It had been almost a year since Stan got his memories back, but it seemed any little reminder that he was recovering still made his family happy. It was weird, in a good way, to see people care about him so much. And if he made sure to call Mabel by her nicknames even more than her real name, well sue him.

"You could just get me a stepladder," Dipper grumbled, shuffling to his feet.

"Ugh, then I gotta walk all the way back downstairs," Stan picked up a bent nail off the floor. "I'll just get it over with now. Besides, then Mabel can whip us up some lemonade while I work."

"Ooooo can I make Mabel-ade?"

Stan shrugged. "Sure, knock yourself out."

The words were barely out of his mouth before Mabel was squealing and running down the stairs. In the silence, Stan shifted on his feet, giving Dipper an awkward sideways glance.

"I haven't...had Mabel-ade before, have I?" he whispered.

Dipper smiled. "Nah, don't worry. That's a whole new horror you get to experience first hand."

Stan chuckled. "Right." He made his way to the wall, squinting at the wooden beams to try and figure out where he could safely sink a nail in. It's not like the place was structurally unsound, but he also hadn't had any sort of building inspection in uh...ever.

"So," Dipper started. "Why'd you want Mabel out of the room?"

Stan smiled. "Perceptive. Good job, kid." He lined up the nail on the beam that had the least amount of termite holes. "You're not in trouble, just wanted to warn ya. Speaking of 'puberty muscles', your Pops called. Apparently he thinks you still haven't had The Talk yet. He told me to keep an eye on ya and that he'd explain everything when you get home."

Stan slipped the edge of the poster under the nail, resting his elbow against the poster to hold it in place while he started hammering.

"Had himself all worked up over it. 'Oh Uncle Stanford, Dipper's a teenager now, he might start to get ideas'," Stan laughed as he finished hammering. "So just, ya know, when you see him pretend I didn't tell ya about the birds and the bees already or anything. Some dads get weird about that. Apparently, he wants to be the one to tell you himself." Stan put his hands on his hips and admired his handy-work. A little crooked, but what wasn't in this place? He nodded and turned to Dipper, who was looking at him with his eyebrows drawn together.

"But...Grunkle Stan, you didn't have that talk with me," he murmured.

"Ha! There ya go," Stan grinned, punching Dipper on the shoulder. "You're gettin' better at lyin' kid."

"But I'm not lying."

"Wow, I almost believed you that time!"

"No, Grunkle Stan," Dipper grabbed Stan's hand before he could leave the room. Stan looked down at Dipper and realized the boy's face had turned from confusion to distress. "You really didn't."

Stan frowned. "Whaddya mean I didn't? Don't tell me you forgot. I still remember having that talk with my old man." He shuddered. "Not the sorta thing you forget."

Dipper gripped his arm tighter. "How well do you remember having that conversation with me?

"Kid, you were making a face like I was about to pull your teeth out the whole time and you screamed, like, a lot. You couldn't even look at the diagrams in my Why Am I Sweaty? book."

"Grunkle Stan...none of that happened."

Stan froze. "But I remember it."

Dipper gently pulled the hammer out of Stan's hand and set it on the ground before grasping his other hand. "Have you...has this happened before?"

"Has what?" Stan could feel his heart rate picking up.

"Remembering things that aren't real."

"Alright kid, whatever joke this is, it isn't funny." Stan ripped his hands from Dipper's hold, rubbing them against his pants as his eyes darted around the room. An old habit. Looking for an exit.

Dipper held up his hands as if approaching a wild animal. "Stay calm. I can get Ford, maybe he can help figure this out. Maybe the memory gun just...um..."

"Just what?" Stan could feel his voice going shrill. "That gun was supposed to take stuff out of my head, not put stuff in!"

Dipper was beginning to look as panicked as Stan felt.

"Oh God," Stan muttered. "What else did it put in there. Dipper? What else isn't real?"

"This is the first time!" Dipper began to pace. "Unless...has Great Uncle Ford said anything? On the boat, did anything like this happen? This conversation?"

Stan shook his head, his breathing starting to feel funny. "No. But apparently asking me to remember stuff isn't exactly trustworthy - "

"He would have told me," Dipper said with certainty. "Great Uncle Ford would have told me if something happened. So it didn't. So this is the first time and, and, and, we can fix it! Right?"

Stan just stared at Dipper. They shared the same frightened eyes. For Dipper's sake, Stan nodded.

"MABEL-ADE IS READY! YOU WERE OUT OF CHERRIES, SO I USED MARBLES!"

Dipper and Stan glanced towards the stairs.

"Let's get you something to drink first," Dipper muttered, walking slowly towards Stan to take his hand again. "Then we can figure everything out."

"Sure, kid," Stan whispered. He didn't let go of Dipper's hand until they reached the kitchen.

***

They decided it was best not to tell Mabel. After all, it didn't seem like the sort of problem that the scrapbook could solve, and it wasn't worth causing her distress until they knew what they were dealing with. Instead, Dipper had been tasked with distracting Mabel while Ford and Stan commiserated in the kitchen. Stan really wasn't sure how good of a job they were doing of fooling Mabel. She had given him a weird look when he gave the kids money to go get ice cream in town. He couldn't blame her. He'd even thrown in a couple quarters so she could get sprinkles.

"Didn't Dipper mention some sort of brain scanner?" Stan offered. "I don't really like the idea of you poking around in there, but would it help?"

Ford shook his head. He was pacing the kitchen, hands clasped behind his back. "No. Project Mentem is broken. And even if I were to fix it, all I could do with it is see and or encrypt your memories. There would be no way for me to discern what's true and what's false since your mind interprets all of them as true." He stopped his pacing to take another swig of his Mabel-ade. Stan liked to give Ford grief about his coffee intake, but at this rate he'd be willing to let Ford have a couple cups of Joe if it meant he'd stop ingesting whatever sour, spicy, glittery drink Mabel was trying to pass off as lemonade. He was pretty sure Ford's eyes were starting to shake.

"So, you had no memory of this talk with Dipper until your phone call with his father?"

"Right."

"And when the memory returned, did it feel like the rest of them? Think hard, was there any difference in sensation?"

Stan shook his head. "Nope. The same sort of itch I always get."

Ford hummed. "Fiddleford told me once that some of his returning memories would get scrambled. Two puzzle pieces fitting together that shouldn't. For example, he swore there was a Christmas that I spent with him and Emma Mae, but it turned out he was combining his memories of Christmas with her with our own holiday celebration in the lab. Can you think of any other conversation with Dipper you could be mixing up? Anyone else you would have been having that conversation with other than Dipper? Perhaps your mind replaced your real conversation partner with Dipper?"

Stan frowned. "You think I just go talkin' about the birds and the bees with everybody?"

"Stan, just think."

He shrugged. "The only people I talk to who would even be young enough for that would be Soos or Wendy. There's no way I woulda given that talk to a girl, and I'm pretty sure Soos's abuelita woulda ripped me a new one if I had done anything to take away Soos's 'innocence'. I have enough self-preservation not to do that."

Ford nodded. "Alright. I feel comfortable with that reasoning." He took another swig of Mabel-ade. "However, then we're dealing with the more uncomfortable reality of the memory being completely fabricated."

"If you keep drinking that stuff, you're gonna start hallucinating too."

Ford's glass slammed down onto the table. "You've been having hallucinations?"

"No. I mean, not that I know of at least. Have I been?"

"Not that I've seen."

"Alright, then no."

Ford sighed and sat down in the chair across from Stan. He leaned forward, his elbows on the table and hands clasped together.

"I don't like hearing you do that," Ford murmured.

"Doing what?"

"Doubting your mind." Ford looked up to Stan, his eyes that horrible mix of calculating and pitiful that tended to appear these days.

Stan shrugged. "Why shouldn't I? We know I'm just making stuff up now. Heck, if Mabel didn't have pictures of all the crazy stuff we got up to last summer I'd probably think that was made up too."

Ford's eyes narrowed. "Hm. That might work."

"The scrapbook?"

"No, physical stimulus." Ford stood from the table again. "You said that when you had this conversation with Dipper you used a book to show him diagrams and such, correct?"

"Yeah. Why Am I Sweaty?"

Ford blinked. "You still have that thing?"

"Ma mailed it up back when she was cleaning out the house. She said she had a whole bunch of 'old science books' she thought her 'little scientist' might want before she donated 'em. I said I'd take 'em 'cause I was hoping some of them would be able to help with the portal. Turns out it was just a bunch of textbooks I stole from the high school and that thing. Came in handy though." Stan shrugged. "Maybe."

"Where is it?"

"If it wasn't destroyed it's probably still in my office. Why?"

Ford left the room without a word, coat billowing behind him. Stan took the opportunity to dump the rest of Ford's drink down the sink. He had a hunch he was about to have the full attention of a scientist on him for awhile and he'd prefer if that scientist wasn't vibrating like a beehive.

"Here we are!" Ford announced as he entered the room. "As I was saying, a physical stimulus might -" he stopped, staring at his glass. "My drink."

Stan shrugged. "I got thirsty."

Ford squinted at him. "Hm. Try looking through the pages of this. Maybe it will help ground you."

"But, won't that just make the fake memory more real?" Stan asked, flipping through the pages. The Pituitary Gland.

"That!" Stan shouted, pointing at the diagram. "Dipper screamed at that!"

Ford frowned. "That seems unlike him."

Stan groaned, dropping the book and putting his head in his hands. "I know but...I swear I can see it Ford. It feels so real."

Stan could hear the sound of Ford getting out of his chair, and there was suddenly a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"We'll figure it out, Stanley," he said softly.

"I just don't get why my brain would choose that memory to make," Stan mumbled through his hands. "Not that I want a buncha fake memories, but I could have at least come up with something cooler. Like winning a prize fight or kissing a mermaid or something."

Ford chuckled. "Well, I - " he was interrupted by the sound of the Shack door slamming open, frantic footsteps racing toward the kitchen. Stan lifted his head from his hands, leaning back to adopt a more nonchalant position in his chair. Ford gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!" Mabel burst into the kitchen, two small paper cups in her hands. "The ice cream lady said I could have two free samples, so I got two old people flavors! They're melted, but you can drink them. Who wants Butter Pecan and who wants Rum Raisin?"

Dipper shuffled in behind her, Mabel's enthusiasm waning as she took in the tense atmosphere of the room.

"What's wrong?" she asked hesitantly. "Do you guys not like those flavors?"

Stan turned to look at Ford, who had that pinched look around his eyes again.

"Mabel," Ford said gently. "Maybe you should sit down. We have something to -"

He was interrupted by a scream. Mabel had dropped the ice cream cups on the floor, leaving two splats that Waddles wasted no time in beginning to lick up. Stan sat up quickly in his chair.

"Sweetie, what - " before he could complete his sentence, Mabel had grabbed Why Am I Sweaty? and hurled it through the open kitchen window.

"Die childhood killer, die!" she shrieked. She stood huffing for a few more moments, eyes slightly crazed, before straightening up and looking towards the floor.

"Awwww piggy cream!" she cooed, squatting down to pat Waddles' head.

Dipper was the first to break the silence. "Mabel...what was that?"

She glared at Stan from the floor. "An evil book. Is that why you wanted us out of the house? So you could trap us with that horrible book when we got back?"

"You know that book?" Ford asked.

Mabel shuddered. "Ugh, unfortunately. Why do you even wanna read that thing again? It's not like it's hard to forget. Unless..." she frowned. "Were you...showing it to Grunkle Ford? Grunkle Ford, do you not know where babies come from?"

"No, I am well acquainted with a variety of human and alien reproductive systems." This time it was Stan's turn to shudder.

Ford reddened. "Not like that!"

"Wait, Mabel, you read Why Am I Sweaty?" Dipper asked. He looked to Stan, who was beginning to look green around the gills.

"You're the one I read that to?" Stan asked hoarsely. "But that's...that's not for you! I thought I read that to Dipper, you're telling me that I read that to...What?!"

Mabel slowed her petting of Waddles, beginning to look sheepish. "Well...you didn't know it was me. You thought I was Dipper."

Stan's mouth hung open. "Are you telling me my brain was swiss cheese before the memory gun?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh," Dipper groaned, slapping his hand against his head. "That was during the whole carpet thing wasn't it."

Mabel nodded.

"Carpet thing?" Ford asked.

"Yeah," Mabel began to scritch under Waddles' chin. "That carpet from your secret room. It made everybody switch bodies. I was Dipper for awhile and he was me. Soos was Waddles and Waddles was Soos!" Mabel grinned, holding up Waddles to stand on two legs. "Just look at this adorable little former handyman!"

"I was also Waddles," Dipper admitted. "A lot of people were a lot of people. McGucket tried to eat Soos."

Ford frowned. "Soos as Waddles?"

Dipper and Mabel shared a look.

"Never mind all that," Mabel offered, smiling tightly. "Let's talk about why Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford were talking about puberty. Do old people do it twice or something?"

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. "We weren't talking about puberty, we were talking about a memory Stanley had of discussing puberty with Dipper. Which Dipper thought wasn't real. Now we know why."

Stan raised his hand. "I would now like to pivot the discussion to Ford not leaving his experiments lying around where small children can find them."

"Wait!" Mabel gasped. "Does this mean that Dipper hasn't had the talk yet?" She leapt to her feet. "Because Mom gave me the girl one when we got home last summer! Does this mean I know the girl one and the boy one and Dipper knows none of them?"

Dipper sighed. "Mabel, I've seen nature documentaries."

Mabel whooped. "I know more about something than Dipper! Like, an actual science thing!"

"Mabel, I still know about - "

"Oh yeah?" Mabel reached into her skirt pocket. "Then what's this then?" With a wicked grin she slapped a bright pink wrapper covered in stars onto the kitchen table. Stan slapped his hands over his eyes. Ford's face went slack. Dipper grimaced.

"Mabel...I share a bathroom with you, I know what a pad is."

Ford cleared his throat. "They certainly," he coughed. "They certainly have changed a lot in the past thirty years."

Mabel frowned. "Were the old ones in black and white?"

Stan groaned. "Can we skip ahead to the part where Sixer burns that carpet and we all celebrate that I'm not actually losing my mind?"

Mabel wrapped her arms around Stan, pulling him into a big hug. "Of course! I'll go grab the lighter fluid!" And with that she fled from the room, snatching the pad off the table as she went. Stan lifted his head from his hands and the three Pines men stared at each other awkwardly.

"Well," Ford clapped his hand back on Stan's shoulder. "Another mystery solved."

Dipper nodded. "Sorry to freak you guys out like that. I don't know how I didn't think about the whole 'body swap' thing earlier."

Stan hefted himself up from the table. "No sweat, kid. Er." The three of them turned to the window where Gompers could be seen chomping away at the pages of Why Am I Sweaty?

They turned to each other. A silent agreement was made. Stan grabbed the popsicles out of the freezer and they began to file out of the kitchen, ready to meet Mabel at the fire pit to send that carpet back to Hell where it belonged. If there was anything they'd learned from last summer, it was that some knowledge was best left hidden.

AN: Sequel to this and this! I may or may not manage to get another one done by the end of Stanuary tomorrow (probably not), but either way, thanks for joining me!