#forced interpretations of the text lmao

[divorceblogger]

wheel of time written by nuclear engineer robert jordan is actually about nuclear anxiety and the consequences of the development of new technology aiding and abetting unchecked usage of weapons of mass destruction. in this essay I will -

[whetstonefires]

thanks! i appreciate the like. reinforcement. 💕

yeah it's like. this is just wank. mostly i ignore the wank. but on this particular post i managed to land on the line between 'angry' and 'indifferent' such that i could produce a fairly reasonable reply, so i engaged.

it's funny tho, i know i didn't make myself understood, because the original op's reply (promptly reblog-locked, cool feature we now have) argues that the fics i'm 'upset' about exist reciprocally, ignoring Tony's rich inner life.

but i'm not upset about tony-centric fic that doesn't care about anyone but tony, i'm saying it's normal for people to prioritize their fave blorbos. tony stark is not being singled out for some kind of oppression here.

he's just...not so special he has to be everyone's blorb. that's the point.

but ofc he does have a fanbase that's inclined toward feeling like he is that special. the rightful main character of the universe. because his movies (and to a slightly lesser extent the team movies) actively make that assertion. and to not be put off the guy after a certain level of this, you have to be able to be comfortable with that approach.

so people who identify as tony stark fans have an outsized tendency to put forth arguments, based in redemptive suffering logic or oppression olympics or whatever, for why he's entitled to be centered in every conversation to which he can be considered relevant, and why people who don't do so are Bad.

real 'buy Twitter to protect Free Speech' energy ngl.

the projection of the 'team cap vs team iron man' obsession onto people who deeply did not care (except they're now increasingly done with tony stark because this keeps happening) is the problem here.

forcing that combative energy into contexts where it does not belong and creating random enemies in order to reinforce one's own righteous martyrdom complex like some kind of evangelical missionary or iron man is shitty energy to bring to a fandom, and makes things worse for everyone.

so yeah, you're right grison, it's about the same level of textual engagement and similar story approach to disability across the MCU. there's a lot you could do and for all i know people are in fact doing with disability as read between the lines of these increasingly shitty schlock films, utilizing multiple character angles.

something to be said, actually, for how Tony's scenario provides an emotional cushion around working with disability issues of 'the worst parts of this can't happen because he has Money and Science' so it's safer to engage with than a realistic story, while Steve's provides an emotional cushion of 'no matter how bad it gets, it's Over, he Got Through It and now the only consequences are emotional.'

different people need different shields.

now, if i was engaging the putative topic of 'choosing one of these guys for this role of fandom's favorite cripple' seriously, like it's an election or something, i could say that i can't relate to Tony Stark as disability rep regardless of how you interpret his condition, because my experience of disability is so tied up in financial insecurity.

poverty and disability are locked in a vicious circle, perpetuating one another.

ofc i don't dispute anyone's right to relate to the fantasy of being able to throw brilliance and wealth and power at Symptoms Disorder and make it almost not matter, or be into the pathos at the edge of that competency, where he can't quite seize control of all reality no matter his will and power. but i don't feel it.

a really good fic about it might be moving, but i wouldn't feel Seen. you know?

and i wouldn't be comfortable being spoken for by someone with such an alien experience of living with diminished capacity, if he were a real person who actually had things to say. i wouldn't expect him to empathize with or even understand my problems. he could speak for himself, but not for me.

like you say, both stories engage with disability as something to be transcended and triumphed over via Science, but on a character level i relate more to steve rogers being told he can have the job he's applying for if he goes through (and survives) this experimental treatment for his Problems and Disorders.

so i think there is sound logic behind the majority of the fandom, apparently, preferring steve rogers as reference point on this subject. evil secret biases against blorbo are not required to explain this preponderance.

but like disability is so varied it's just weird to be picking that as a subject to champion a Single Poster Boy Authority for in the first place. rep is never one-size-fits-all in the first place.

you could make a strong argument Bruce Banner is the 'best' onscreen disability rep in the Avengers--it's a mental health issue turned fantastically physiological and thus kind of dealing in metaphor, but it very much ruined his life in a recognizable way. and he has to cope with it, on an ongoing basis.

but a lotta people do not feel represented by the Hulk lmao. and i'm not going to tell them they should!

if we want to lean on the Peggy Carter show as a source there's that guy Daniel who lost a leg in the war. why doesn't everyone center him in all their MCU disability fic and meta, huh?

it's dumb. it's really dumb.

but the arguments starting from the presumption that people should look to tony stark as the authority on living with a disability, and presuming therefore that since people weren't doing what they should be doing you must discern what was bad and wicked about those people to motivate this wrongness--

that got to me. there's an underlying back-to-front logic of coercion and intolerance-of-nonconformity there. that i never like to see, and obviously it's worse when it's part of Real Actual Politics, but seeing such serious topics leveraged in such a way regarding the Unjust Loss Of Hyper-Specific Popularity Contest By Blorbo was just. a lot.

So I can't reply to @phoenixyfriend having replied to my reblog because either they've blocked me or they don't do DMs with non-mutuals despite suggesting that as a preferable forum for disagreement, but in brief:

My reblog was 'necessary' within the very limited definition of that word that applies to fandom blogging because that post was not a post About Tony Stark. I don't engage with posts About Tony Stark or most characters in general that I disagree with, in general! It's rude and life is too short.

That post, however, was not about Tony. It was a conversation between bloggers asserting an argument for why people who don't agree with your headcanons are morally inferior and have Bad Corrupt Motives.

"What does it say that Steve is, in fandom, often considered a better/more qualified speaker on the topic of chronic illness and disability than Tony" and "these people would rather listen to the white, able-bodied guy than the person actually forced to live with the consequences of life-long disability" and "viewers with that perspective continue to see his disability as a sign that he's still a bad person, because he hasn't 'earned' a cure the way Steve did."

(Which again is wild as a take because Iron Man 3 has tony 'earn' his way out of both physical damage and PTSD through willpower and smartness in the ending montage, because inspiration porn doesn't work if you stay damaged.)

It was a post about the fandom. Accusing other actual human beings of being morally at fault for how they interpreted the marvel cinematic universe.

Not like, an intense horrible attack post as these things go, but it still wasn't about characters. It was about other fans. That is different from talking about characters! Your post was about how it's sus and shameful for people to disagree with you, not about your actual positions and why they're right. Let alone about the character. That doesn't fall under the curtain of 'don't start shit' because shit was already started.

Like I don't have any Avengers fic, haven't been in the fandom for several years, and I was still sitting here scrolling my dash getting these Bad Person Motives assigned to me just for thinking one character was more meaningful disability representation, that I would be interested in hearing from on the subject, than another.

You made inflammatory statements about other actual people in a public forum, where it could be predicted they would see it.

And then flew off the handle when someone went over your post asserting their alternate perspective, carefully avoiding attacking you personally or assigning you evil motives, which would have been incredibly easy except it's a shitty way to interact so no, and speaking only in general terms about things they found personally annoying.

If you can't deal with people reblogging your posts to argue that you're being unfair, then maybe don't post about how other people only disagree with you about your blorbos because you are a better human being than those people. I mean.

[no1ryomafan]

i was thinking about besides devo getting a anime the most controversial getter anime they could make is a remake of Armageddon cause despite the fact it could absolutely fix the issues the show has it be one of those things that wouldn’t be necessary and people would be sick of more arma content.

But then I thought about “okay but then they could make Kei actually trans if they had the fucking balls” and I know this would NEVER happen but that would make people seethe more then arms being remade and I found that so funny. (And yes this is very much related to my last post)

[laluv-469]

"The Other Woman"

synopsis: its a mean one. gojo is cheating on his girlfriend with you and the guilt of sadness of it all is starting to hit you. practically a flashback and a psychological breakthrough contemplating why you tolerate his shit. but whether you continue to is an entirely more difficult question.

content: smut, jjk x reader, cheating gojo satoru x reader, vaginal sex, rough, hair pulling, unprotected, gojo on top, angry sex, dom, angst, asshole gojo, etc idk i dont write smut often lmao

for clarification; gojo would NEVER cheat, at least that's what I think. uh I just had this really neat, angsty idea linked to this song, and I know how to write gojo better than any other character. granted, toji or most definitely sukuna would fit better, but again, don't know how to write those characters as well. i also think this is a very poor interpretation of gojo and his personality, but it cruely exposes his flaws related to being a little boasty f-boy. hope it doesn't disappoint too much, i am not an experienced writer <3

deepest apologies for any typos and grammatical errors. literally editing this at 1 am ♡

word count: 1,526

As much as you hated thinking about it, you were undeniably the other woman. You were the woman Gojo would sneak out of the room to text once his girlfriend fell asleep. You were the woman he would call when he got lonely and sad. You were the woman he would take out on secret dates across town. And, of course, you were the woman Gojo would ruthlessly fuck at the local motel. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fuckkk” Gojo would greedily groan as he slid his thick member in and out of your squelching hole. “You're nothing like her…” He chuckled to himself in awe as his grip on your hips tightened. 

“So- fuckin’ tight~!” He bared through gritted teeth.

You shifted your weight slightly, burying your head down into the sheets with furrowed brows. Your long locks of hair fell loosely over your shoulders, draping down over your forehead. You only hum lazily in response, a bored expression on your face as he pounded into your little pussy. 

God, he felt painfully good, but you hated when he compared you to her. You hated the way it made you think too much. And for awfully too long. Your eyes drifted off into long, angry thought. Gojo noticed this, and he also hated when you weren't receptive to him.

He had you bent over on your stomach,  breasts smushed against the sheets as his hips rolled against your ass. The man lowered himself to your head, his warm breath tickling your neck. In a swift motion, he moved his hands toward your stomach and pressed firmly, pushing himself deeper inside you. His thrusts soon became rough and intentional… like he was testing your limits. 

He managed to get a whimper out of you, your face contorting slightly with his change in pace. “Nngh~”

You tried to remain nonchalant though, turning your face away from him, not letting him see your arousal. 

With the hand that wasn't clenching your stomach, he pulled a large chunk of your hair to the left, forcing you to meet his piercing eyes. They were narrow and.. almost dark with deep passion.. anger.. whatever it was your actions made him feel. 

“Not feelin’ it hon?” He questioned with only slight irritation in his voice. 

"Am I doing a crap job, hm?” He asks in a low voice, humor and frustration swirling into one. 

Both of your heads were bobbing up and down with the intensity of his thrusts, heavy pants accompanying that. Still, he managed to stare into your soul as awaited your response. The room was filled with nothing but the sound of skin slapping and the reserved whimpers you let out through tight lips. 

You avoided his eyes, closing them while trying to endure the pain. Each thrust sent him further inside you, his hips barely moving away from yours. It's like he was nearly locked in place with you, his hips bucking back and forth, keeping a small distance between your bodies. His grip on your body was tight, holding onto your hair and waist like his life fucking depended on it.

He scoffed at your silence, yanking at your hair again, harder this time, causing your head to whip back. You finally broke, your mouth was open and now loud. He seemed to have reached your core, repeatedly hitting that sweet spot. Each time, you swore you saw stars. It's like he was becoming one with you, his entire size stuffing you grossly. 

“Ah, ah ah!! S-Satoru-nn!!” You pleaded, your voice loud and squeaky, yet barely coherent.

“Don't- fucking ignore me…” He spoke in a low growl, his voice breaking in a similar manner to yours. 

He placed his temple against yours, your foreheads now pressed against each other as his movements grew more sloppy and erratic. His grip on your hair was still tight, practically using it for support as his body moved restlessly against you. Your scalp wss being stressed, strands sure to fall out after it's next brush.

“What's wrong, hm? Before.. I-” He stopped, struggling to speak and fuck you at the same time, “Before I pull out.. tell.. me” He panted heavily in an ugly rhythm with your moans, a lewd melody of slaps and grunts filling the air. 

He was close, you felt him throb inside you, and you were too. Your walls began to enclose, almost trapping him inside your hole. “Tight fuckin’ cunt…” He grunted lowly, chuckling to himself once again at the marvel that was your pretty little pussy. 

You shut your eyes tight as your orgasm neared, mouth gaped open, trying to find the right words. What could you possibly utter to him? You hated that he was in this secret “relationship” with you.. yet you let it fly. Why, though? Speak up, tell him! And so you did.

In broken words and whimpers, “Break.. up with her..” You regretted the words as soon as they escaped your lips, biting your entire lower lip in immediate guilt.

Gojo's hips stuttered a bit, your words clearly catching him by surprise. But you were too lost in the rhythm to stop. You felt a rising sensation in your stomach, a hungry desire to completely let loose everywhere. It was strong, so very strong, and you just needed this orgasm so badly. Your pussy was puffy and throbbing, his large member surely leaving you sore. He fucked and fucked and fucked, that lovely spot being tapped and played with till it went off. Shortly after, you came all over his cock, juices spilling out and dripping onto the bed. He fucked your cunt still, helping you ride out your orgasm as he neared his. Your eyes rolled back, the feeling of being emptied and filled all over again overstimulating you immensely, yet satisfying your desire so beautifully.

He followed shortly after, shooting his load inside you accompanied by the release of your hair, relief washing over the both of you. Letting out a heavy, slutty breath into your ear, he slowed down significantly, gently fucking the mixture of cum inside of you. Your head was soon back on the bed, red from shame and regret at what you said before. However the man simply pulled out and collapsed beside you, both of you simply laying on your stomachs, backs rising and falling with the aftermaths of an intense session. He raised his hand to your head, caressing your scalp in a comforting manner, as to apologize for the pulling and yanking.

He sighed, a worrisome look on his pretty fuck-boy face. “Break up with her?” He whispered.. sounding sad… Sad? 

This asshole, what did he have to be sad about? You were the one crying yourself to sleep every night and eating alone more often than not. And imagine how his girlfriend would feel if she knew? This entitled, pretty asshole.

Your eyebrows furrowed angrily, turning your head to face the white-haired man. “Yes. She doesn't deserve to be cheated on for one, now you're just leading her on. Are you that dense or what?”

His head pulled back slightly in a contorted facial expression, seemingly offended by your comment. But he knew you were right, his eyes drifting away in thought. “You're right… Just.. let's sleep on it.” He sighed, his eyes fluttering shut.

Yeah, he sure did have a habit of putting this off. He'd always find an excuse not to think about it or talk about it.

You huffed, pulling away from his touch and rolling out of the trashy motel mattress. “No, that's your decision.” 

He pissed you off, his eyes fluttering open again and stupidly following you with the dumb puppy face. You ignored him though, limping your way to the bathroom with a change of clothes. 

Took a piss, showered, and changed within the next 20 minutes, you stepped out fully clean and refreshed. You dried up your hair a few feet away from the bed, Gojo watching your every move. Your face was scrunched up and angry, hating the fact that he was looking at you so desperately right now. Why'd you even let him fuck you? 

“I'm going home,” You grabbed your bag and phone, heading for the door.

Without even realizing, Gojo was rushing out of bed, quickly stumbling toward you, “Fuck do you mean? I'm not driving you back over right now..” He leaned against the door frame butt naked, dick hanging loose and head tilted sideways.

You pushed his chest lightly, “Put some clothes on, get some sleep. I'll take a bus or something.” Again, you turn away from him, heading for the door knob.

Gojo's hand grabbed your arm, tugging you softly. “Why are you mad… baby… you know how this goes..” He practically pleaded, a tired and worn out expression on his stupid face.

“Cut it out, please I'm done Satoru I'm tired of feeling like shit every day.” You threw your head back, sadness and anger finally broke through. 

“I'll cut her off, okay?” He spoke quickly and firmly, almost as if just to shut you up. After that, it was all a blur.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That day though, you fell for the facade, running right back into his arms, climbing right back into that bed, and continuing to be just the other woman.

Why you still do it? For the thrill? For the love? You sat for hours thinking about it, writing about it, crying about it. You almost told his girlfriend a couple of times. You have countless pages saved in your notes explaining everything to her, yes everything. But your heart and soul know you won't ever tell her, better yet jeopardize the “relationship” you have right now. 

“Hey love…” He would greet you, caressing your cheek and brushing through your hair with his pale slender fingers. “You're so beautiful baby… I don't deserve you.” He smiled warmly at you, love genuinely radiating from his body.

Was any of that real? He was right though. A cheater doesn't deserve you. But you weren't any fucking better that's for sure. You're not sure when this will end, but damn you hope it ends with you finally being content and happy. No longer, the other woman.

[bestiesenpai]

sukuna bridgerton au pt 4

To the person that asked for jealous Sukuna, I’m here to deliver(hopefully you like it, it's not super overt jealousy)! I had to take liberties on regency era fashion cause i’ll be damned if i put sukuna in a fucking nightgown lmao

Once again, bold text indicates a different language being spoken

part one --- part two --- part three

It was criminal that Sukuna made you get up before sunrise to begin your journey to the countryside but he was insistent on getting there at a ‘reasonable hour’. Getting dressed in a sleepy haze, you nibbled on breakfast as Sukuna got everything ready and collected any documents he wanted to work on.

You were much too tired to even think to complain about being in the same carriage as him, something that underneath the fog gave you a slight nervous edge. Despite the conversation the day before you weren’t sure if you were ready for this level of intimacy with him. But there wasn’t much choice to be had and away you went, not caring to stifle a yawn as you rode away from the chateau.

“Now Princess, I’ve had the valet draw us up an itinerary.” Sukuna started, fluffing out some papers and handing you one. “We are to visit a vineyard, perhaps make a public appearance at the local clinic.”

“Yes.” Nodding along, you let your head rest on the back of the carriage. The road wasn’t terribly bumpy, allowing you to relax as Sukuna kept speaking. He hadn’t even looked up to see if you were listening, just droning on about something you couldn’t find it in you to care about.

It felt like just a moment had passed between you closing your eyes and feeling the carriage jostle to the side with a great force, the footmen calling out to steady the horses as the road was in a bad condition. Blinking rapidly as your senses came back to you, there was the sudden realization that Sukuna was sat next to you. Feeling a pressure on your cheek, you noticed your head had tilted to lay on his shoulder and although your neck was growing sore you found it wasn’t terribly uncomfortable to be this close to him.

“Oh, you’re awake.” He commented upon your rousing, noticing the way your eyes moved rapidly. He helped you sit up and seemed unfazed by the fact that your head had been resting so gently on his shoulder, unfazed except for the blush painting his cheeks. “We’re almost there.”

“My apologies, Your Highness.” Clearing your throat, you inched away from him. It must have been a burden for him to move for you and that thought had you looking down at your hands adorned with a pair of lacy gloves.

“No need.” Sukuna also cleared his throat, grabbing the papers that were left on his other side. The rest of the ride was quiet with the two of you sitting so close yet not looking at one another. Looking out the window, you noticed you were indeed in the countryside, passing by expansive rolling hills covered in wildflowers and tall grass, some cultivated into farming and others holding livestock.

Getting to the center of town, you were happy to see it was full of life and not as small as you assumed it would be. Sure, it wasn’t as lively and built up as the city you grew up in but it was a far cry from the sticks and mud you thought you’d encounter.

Being helped out of the carriage by Sukuna, you were greeted by the town's mayor who insisted on gifting you a bottle of wine as a present for your marriage. He spoke fast, almost too fast for the royal interpreter to translate for Sukuna; and his barely there grasp of the local language was frustrating him, it was written on his face.

You toured the town for much longer than you thought you would, seeing every historical landmark and every church ever built. There were several instances during the tour that you or Sukuna had to nudge the other to stay awake as the mayor droned on and on. By the time the tour was over it was evening and you had to retire to the inn that was reserved for you.

“The best inn in the whole country, Your Highness!” The mayor boasted, leading the two of you inside and directly to your bedroom.

“T-there’s only one bed!” You exclaimed, causing the mayor to laugh and wave you off.

“Still a blushing bride, I see!” Bowing to the both of you, he excused himself and left the two of you alone to enter.

“What’d he say to you?” Sukuna mumbled, rustling in a chest of drawers for something.

“I mentioned that there appears to only be one bed and…and he said I was still a blushing bride.” Repeating the statement to Sukuna made your cheeks burn and having him laugh made it even worse. “I just assumed-”

“That we would have separate rooms?” Cutting you off, Sukuna turned to face you and you could finally see what he had been digging around for: a silver flask. “We may do that in the privacy of our own home but in public it is best not to arouse suspicion about the state of our marriage. You understand, correct?” He quirked a brow as he titled his back and took a drink.

“Yes, of course I understand. I just…” Trailing off, you looked around the room again. It was very spacious, with a chess table off to one side and a simple loveseat in front of a fireplace. There were partitions in the room that you could move to your liking as you dressed which gave you peace of mind.

“While you think about it, I am going to have a servant get us dinner. Is there anything you would like to have?” Sukuna began to walk to the door with his flask still in hand.

“I have no preference.” And with that answer, he was gone. Wringing your hands together, you paced around the room unable to find respite in being alone. What lay ahead of you had your nerves in a thousand different places and there was a doubt in your mind about getting any sleep tonight.

You and Sukuna ate your meal quietly at the small dining table in the room. You couldn’t make eye contact with him for very long and he did not mind your nerves at all. The sound of people moving around downstairs and playing the piano in the parlor made ambient noise as you finished your meals and then moved on to other things: Sukuna, his paperwork and you some needlework.

“Do you wish to bathe tonight, Princess? I am going to have a bath drawn.” Sukuna announced suddenly, breaking you from your trance. Blinking owlishly, you couldn’t find the words so you shook your head. “Alright. I will have a guard stand at the door while I am away.”

With Sukuna gone again, you finally took notice of the time and realized you should also get ready for bed. Calling a ladies maid in, you undressed and got into night clothes, trying to quell the shaking of your hands when she left and you were alone again. Staring at yourself in the full length mirror, you drew your robe tighter hoping to hide the dressing gown underneath. Without the stuffy and constricting layers of your everyday clothes, you were much more comfortable physically, but mentally was another story.

There were a rapid few knocks on the door before it opened and closed swiftly and Sukuna entered, not caring in the slightest about walking around the inn in an unbuttoned white shirt and loose linen pants that hit just below his knees.

“Please cover up!” You gasped, utterly scandalized about the flash of skin you saw before slapping a hand over your eyes. Sukuna barked out a laugh, one that lasted much longer than you’d like.

“You ladies are so prim, aren’t you?” He shook his head, doing as he was told with a large smirk on his face. “Does this suit you, Your Grace?” He teased, doing a small spin when you lifted the hand from your face. He had indeed buttoned up, still more exposed than you’d like but it was better than before.

“Yes it does.” Clearing your throat, you became painfully aware of the fact you were in a nightgown and Sukuna was openly staring at you. Crossing your arms over your chest, you motioned to the bed. “Do you not wish to rest now?”

“Do you?” He countered immediately, taking a few steps toward you and making you fumble backwards.

“I-I do.” Truth be told you were tired, all you wanted to do was lay down and close your eyes. But you had to account for Sukuna and whatever he would try and do.

“Then by all means, lay down, Princess.”

“I-I-” The two of you were caught in a stalemate, neither wanting to move until the other did. Unbeknownst to you, Sukuna was indeed nervous about laying in the same bed as you. He wondered how it would feel, to finally lay with his wife and to possibly smell whatever lotions she had put on while getting ready for bed.

“We can’t stay like this forever.” Sukuna broke the silence, speaking quietly as he licked his lips. The bed was already unmade for the two of you, so all you had to do was climb in as he snuffed out any candles still lit but your feet were glued to your spot as the last candle went out and you were engulfed in darkness with not even the light of the moon to bring you comfort.

“Princess.” Sukuna groaned and you could just barely make out his figure in the dark but you knew he was rolling his eyes at your hesitance. “Lie down. Please.” Tacking on the formality at the end, he waited impatiently for you to move.

“I’m just nervous.” You mumbled, shifting away ever so slightly when you saw him move again.

“Shall I light the candles again? We can stay awake longer if that is what you require.” Worrying your lip and sighing over his words, you rolled your eyes at yourself. This would have to happen eventually, one way or another, you might as well get used to it now.

“Give me a moment.” Walking to the side of the bed, you took your robe off and dived under the covers as fast as you could. Sukuna most likely couldn’t see your actual nightgown but he could see that you had finally laid down.

Sighing to himself, he laid down as well and the two of you didn’t move a muscle. Neither wanting to get too close to the other, not even wanting to breathe too loud for the other to hear. You were both laying on your back staring at the ceiling above, the blanket drawn up to your chin to protect your modesty.

“Goodnight, Princess.” Sukuna dared to whisper, dared even further to shift in the bed and turn his back to you.

“Goodnight.” You whispered back, following suit and turning the other way. You were able to sink into a comfortable position from this and sleep took you sooner than you realized, too soon for you to start worrying something might happen.

Sukuna was the first to rouse from sleep in the morning, the sunlight beginning to bleed through the curtains. Keeping his eyes closed and stretching his body, Sukuna noticed an unfamiliar weight on his bicep. Cracking an eye open, he gasped at seeing your head resting on his arm with your peaceful, sleeping face making his cheeks warm.

“Princess?” He whispered, unsure if he wanted you to wake up or not. When you didn’t stir he didn’t speak again, opting to just watch you sleep and find comfort laying on him. Sukuna had to remind himself to breathe several times as he caught himself holding in for fear of moving too much and disturbing you. Time stood still as he just stared, ignoring the itch in the back of his mind that he needed to start his day and not waste time.

When you finally woke, all slow blinks and delicate breaths, Sukuna had fallen back asleep and now it was your turn to admire him. The slight furrow in his brows was gone, allowing you to see him truly relaxed. This was the first time you were looking at him so up close and you saw that his eyelashes, although still pink, looked almost translucent as the sun filled the room with light. The bruise on his neck from the other night seemed to have settled into its peak coloring, a dark purple mark staining Sukuna’s skin and was sure to hurt if pressed.

Your bodies were still relatively separate, your head resting on his arm the only place you two were touching. If you flexed your arms, stretched out your body just a bit, you would touch Sukuna’s torso and the temptation to do so was strong. His shirt had come undone in the night either by his own doing or as he slept and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. There were a few scars that littered his body, almost all of them old and healed with a few still a soft red. Sukuna had a much more chiseled physique than that of the men in the ton, much more muscle that he obviously obtained through some hard work.

A chuckle broke you out of your trance and you looked up at Sukuna, shocked that he was now awake and looking at you with a light smile on his face.

“That tickles, Princess.” He raised his brows, exhaling a breathy laugh as you both looked down to see your hand had indeed started lightly touching his abdomen.

“Oh my!” Ripping yourself away, you scrambled out of bed and immediately put your robe on, embarrassment rippling through your body. Sukuna made no move to stop you as you began to look through your drawers, trying to decide what you would wear today.

“I quite enjoyed that, you know.” Sukuna spoke up and you could hear him rustling in the bed. “Being so close to my beautiful wife for the first time was lovely.”

“Silence.” You hissed but the words held no bite, evident as you didn’t even turn to face Sukuna when he spoke.

“Admit it Princess, you enjoyed it as well.” His hands came from behind you, caging you in against the armoire you were standing in front of. You could feel the heat of his breath on the back of your head and just barely feel his body around you. The both of you stood there quietly, your heart beating painfully in your chest.

“I-I-” Licking your lips nervously, you gripped the clothing in your hand. “I have no comment on the matter.” It was a mistake to turn around. It was a mistake to turn around and see just how close Sukuna was to you. It was also a mistake to lick your lips again, something Sukuna immediately focused on.

“Just like a lady, so diplomatic.” His voice dropped to a whisper, making a shiver go down your spine. His eyes danced around your entire form, from your eyes to your lips down to the rise and fall of your chest. Shuffling forward just slightly, Sukuna brought a hand down to cover one of yours, running his thumb along your skin.

You held your breath as Sukuna leaned forward, his eyes half closing the closer he got to you. Your own eyes fell shut, unable to fight the urge to follow his lead. His breath fanned across your face and his hand tightened its grip, his nose scraping against your cheek before he planted a kiss right on it.

His lips lingered there for a few beats, just pressed against your face. His breathing was so quiet you feared he would pass out soon but he moved again, sliding back so his nose was behind your ear. He took a breath then, smelling the traces of lotion you’d put on before bed. Once he’d gotten his fill, Sukuna sighed and backed up, sighing again when you opened your eyes and looked at him.

“I shall get us breakfast.” Sukuna whispered, not making a move to leave.

“I would like some fruit.” You replied, speaking slowly with a heavy tongue. Sukuna let go of your hand, gradually brushing his fingers up along your arm. Getting to your elbow, Sukuna wrapped his hand around you, squeezing for a moment before dropping it completely.

“Fruit. Right.” Taking a step back, he didn’t break eye contact with you until he opened the door and left, not bothering to change into anything else.

As soon as the door closed it was as if all the air rushed back into the room. Nearly falling to your knees, you gasped and brought your fingers up to your cheek to try and possibly feel the lingering touch his lips left. Calling for your lady’s maid, your body trembled as you prepared for the day. Eating downstairs in the inn's common area, you and Sukuna shared fleeting glances and his knee bumped yours under the table several times.

“We’re going to a vineyard today.” Sukuna announced upon your exit from the inn, stretching his arms above his head before motioning you to get into the carriage.

“Do you expect me to drink wine so early in the day?” It was barely a quarter till ten and you were in no shape to begin drinking.

“We will merely sample, Princess. No need to worry.” He assured you as the carriage began its journey. “The townsfolk prepared a special bottle in our honor, we are to open it on our ten year anniversary.”

“Ten years?” Your brows rose in surprise; the idea of being with Sukuna for that long had never crossed your mind until now, but it would be your reality. The two of you would be together until one of you died, there was no getting around that.

“Try and look happy at the notion.” Sukuna teased, lightly pushing your knee with his own. You responded in kind and nudged him back, both of you sharing a sly smile.

The vineyard was out of the way, up a few large hills and over a river. You passed by a few farms with people diligently working the soil, some standing up to wave at you properly while others kept their heads down, determined to bring in the harvest they had cared for so tenderly.

“What an honor it is!” The vintner was waiting for you as you arrived, dressed in a fresh suit and with a few others waiting behind him.

“The pleasure is ours, thank you.” You replied, curtseying upon your exit from the carriage.

“Thank you.” Sukuna said, his eyes flicking to you as he said it. You’d only heard him speak the language the night he had caught you and Lord Fushiguro together, every other time he used the royal translator.

“Right this way, Your Highness’. I have prepared a special tour for you.” Being led further into the winery, you marveled at the amount of barrels lining the wall, enclosing the space and making you feel tiny in comparison. As the vintner began to explain the history of the region, you heard him mention a familiar name.

“E-excuse me, you said Lord Fushiguro?” You cut off his speech.

“Yes, Your Highness! He is the owner of this vineyard and several others in the area. Do you by chance know him?” He motioned to the barrels which you just now noticed had the Fushiguro name stamped onto them.

“We know of him.” Sukuna said, rolling his eyes at the mention.

“Yes the young Lord is a wonderful man, very passionate about wine and his business! Sadly, he was in a terrible fight a couple days ago otherwise he would have been here to give the tour himself!”

“A fight?” You gasped, feigning innocence.

“Just awful, Your Highness! He said a few thugs cornered him at the town festival as he was leaving!”

“Did he say anything about the thugs?” Sukuna pressed, trying to wait patiently as everything was translated.

“Unfortunately no, Your Grace, he said he didn’t get a good look at any of them. But his injuries were too severe for him to travel here, a true shame.”

“Yes…just awful…” Sukuna trailed off, having to look away to try and stifle the cruel smirk on his face. You wanted to say something, but found no words were coming, letting the tour resume as your mind went back to Lord Fushiguro. He was too injured to make the journey? Was there someone helping him recover or was he all on his own? Could you possibly send him a letter and at least apologize for what happened? Or maybe sneak away and visit him without Sukuna knowing?

“Hey.” He nudged you as you walked through the winery, getting to the wine cellar. “Do not think about him.”

“I’m not.” You countered immediately, shaking your head.

“You are, it is written all over your face.” Sighing shortly, Sukuna flexed his fingers as you descended down the stairs. “It’s vexing me, do not do it any longer.”

“Are you perhaps-”

“Do not dare.” Cutting you off immediately, Sukuna held out his hand to help you down the last few steps. “I know you may think I am jealous, but I can promise you I am not.”

“Yes of course.” You could barely contain your giggle at his words. Sukuna was indeed jealous if the way his jaw clenched was any indication. When the vintner brought up another winemaker, Sukuna was almost too interested in the bottle being shown, taking much more care to pay attention than you’d seen from him in the past.

After a rich and filling lunch, you were led out to the wineries terrace where there were several bottles waiting for you. Taking a seat, the staff assigned to the tasting wasted no time in filling your glasses and explaining the different blends and notes associated with each wine.

By the time you were finished, the sky was a burning orange and red and you were just starting to get hungry for dinner. You lost track of how many wines you’d tried and certainly which ones you liked or not; after a bit the flavors had all blended together. Bidding farewell to the vintner, you and Sukuna climbed into the carriage with a few more bottles of wine, even taking the unfinished bottles you had at the tasting.

Riding to a small but lively restaurant back in town, you were given the best seats in the house, able to watch people dancing and playing music. Sukuna had urged you to finish off a bottle by yourself in the carriage, so by the time the food came out you had nearly forgotten all table manners.

“I wish to dance.” You announced, your voice a bit too loud for a conversation between the two of you.

“Sit down.” Sukuna tried - and failed - to keep you from getting up as one song ended and another started. Approaching the dance floor, you quickly found a partner in another woman, one happy to take the lead through the dance.

You quickly devolved into a fit of happy, drunken giggles as you danced. Dancing here was different than in the ton, it mattered not what gender you were with and who did what position. You even changed partners several times throughout one song, becoming rapidly bewildered at who was who and even who you were.

“Oh Miss Marjorie, you are lovely!” Giving your original partner a large hug after a great number of dances, you swayed on your feet as she embraced you back.

“Oh likewise, Your Grace! It is an honor!” She seemed to be drunk as well, both of you slurring your words. Leaving you for a brief moment, she returned with two small glasses in her hand. “For you and the Prince!” Gasping happily, your smile was never brighter when you turned and waved at Sukuna. He had stood from his seat to watch you move around but did not venture further onto the floor.

“Thank you.” He was persuaded by your insistent waving and sauntered over, taking one glass and downing it swiftly. Not seeing him react to what was in the cup, you did the same but almost coughed it back up. You were not prepared for the sharp and burning sting of alcohol to hit the back of your throat, nor for it to burn so fiercely as it went down into your stomach.

“Sorry Your Grace, I should have warned you!” Marjorie laughed, patting you on the back as you coughed a few times.

“I-I’m fine.” Waving off her concern, you took a couple deep breaths and turned to Sukuna. “How can you be fine after that?”

“I’ve drunk stronger things in the military.” He simply shrugged, nonchalant to the whole thing. “Now if you excuse me, I’d like to go sit back down.”

“No!” You gasped, grabbing onto Sukuna’s arm as he tried to leave. “You have to dance with me!” Sukunas brow rose considerably at that, unable to tell if you meant it or not.

“I’m sure there are others you’d much rather dance with.” Sukunas attempt to try and shrug you off were in vain, you wouldn’t budge on the matter. After trying and failing a second and third time, he sighed in defeat. “Fine! One dance.”

Clapping giddily, you and Sukuna got positioned on the dance floor and began the moves. This one was similar to the other dances you were doing, switching partners and getting close to other people. Unbeknownst to you, Sukunas eyes stayed on you the entire time, making sure you came back to him as the dance progressed.

“Do not be jealous, Your Highness.” You teased him upon seeing his expression. This was the third dance he just finished and you could tell he was fuming.

“I’m not.” Sukuna vehemently denied, shaking his head a little too hard.

“You are, it is written all over your face.” Throwing his statement from earlier in the day in his face, you laughed as he rolled his eyes in defeat.

“I just- I do not like seeing all those other people dancing with you. You are my partner, not theirs.” Did he mean in just the dance or in another way as well? Your mind couldn’t dwell on the deeper meaning of it - or the meaning of anything, truly - and instead you acted on instinct and boldly grabbed onto Sukunas hand.

“You are my partner as well.” Your smile was goofy and it made Sukuna laugh.

“God, you vex me at times.” He had a smile on his face for the rest of the night, happily dancing with you for songs where you didn’t need to change partners. As the night wore on, the two of you got increasingly inebriated, so much so that Sukunas valet had to herd you into the carriage to take you back to the inn.

It was a struggle for your servants to help dress you in your nightclothes, both of you unable to be still in your respective changing areas. When Sukuna returned to the room, he saw you weren’t wearing your robe like last night.

“Ready for bed, Princess?” He said, forcing himself not to make a comment on your choice of clothing or the fact that your gown was a tad sheer, allowing him to see hints of the outline of your body. He felt himself getting hot under the collar, which made him chuckle; he had refused to put on a shirt when dressing, claiming he was much too hot for that.

“I am.” You stumbled to the bed and collapsed onto it, giving no care for how you looked at the moment. You didn’t even make a sound when Sukuna climbed in after blowing out the last candle, his body brushing yours as you chose to lay in the middle of the bed.

“Princess, how can we sleep like this?” Sukuna was trying so hard to be respectful but with the way you were lying diagonally and kicking your legs up every so often proved it very difficult. You grumbled something unintelligible, unable to form a sentence as drowsiness got the best of you.

After a few failed attempts at getting you to move, Sukuna had frustrated you enough that you let out a loud groan and sat up, allowing him to get comfortable before laying half on top of him. One of your legs was wrapped around his hips while your arms flailed about before settling to wrap around his upper body. With your head securely tucked into the side of his neck, you were finally able to calm down and rest.

“Goodnight Sukuna.” You whispered, slurring his name horribly. It wasn’t clear what possessed you to say his first name like this, but you didn’t seem to mind the way it rolled off your tongue. Sukuna stiffened for a moment, unsure of how to respond.

“G-goodnight, (Y-Princess.” He faltered, unable to say it at the last minute. As he recalls, he was the one who wanted to drop the formalities but as soon as the opportunity arose, he wasn’t able to take it. He practiced saying your name in his head but by the time he got the courage, you were snoring softly. Saving it for another day, Sukuna reciprocated your embrace and wrapped a hand around your back, keeping you snug against him as he let out a heavy sigh.

“Oh Princess, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

[anonzentimes]

*guy who loves talking about despair disease voice* wait can we talk more about despair disease. i have so many thoughts on despair disease and esp how it pertains to nagito

i feel like when a lot of people first play/watch the games they see nagito as someone who lies to manipulate people, which while i can’t super blame them for thinking that way bc of how hajime tries to reconcile his conflicting feelings over nagito, i get SO frustrated when ppl call nagito a liar bc no!!! no he’s not!!! you’re falling for other characters’ perceptions of him!!! nagito almost never lies and when he does he’s either really bad at it (cough cough final FTE. “i got it all from a book” you are not slick buddy) or comes clean as soon as he’s achieved his desired outcome- it’s more bluffing than actual deception, and one thing he’s especially sincere in is his beliefs and admiration for the people around him. and the despair disease PROVES this without a doubt!!

ok. i know in-text the despair disease is described as “reversing people’s personalities,” but i’ve always interpreted it a little differently. ibuki isn’t the opposite of gullible, akane isn’t the opposite of a coward, and nagito isn’t the opposite of a liar. to me, it’s always seemed like the despair disease gives its host the trait they’d most hate to have— whatever trait would instill in them the deepest despair. ibuki hates conformity- stick her with a disease that makes her blindly follow whatever she’s told. akane hates showing weakness- force her into a state of constant crying. nagito hates the idea of deceiving his classmates- make him incapable of being sincere. this interpretation makes mikan’s disease make a little more sense too imo, since remembering her brainwashing isn’t exactly reversing her personality but instead literally filling her to the brim with despair. ANYWAYS.

nagito Actively Despises not being able to tell the truth. he hates the despair disease, he sees it as a complete waste. in the ult. luck and hope and despair mangas, we actually get to see some of his internal monologue right before he passes out, and he is In Hell. he’s pissed that he can’t serve as a proper stepping stone in his state, he thinks the whole disease is stupid, and he gets so frustrated about not being able to properly encourage the group that he Literally Starts Foaming At The Mouth ????? like if you EVER wanted undeniable proof that nagito is sincere look at the despair disease. it’s basically a roundabout truth serum for him and that’s a huge part of why it’s one of my favorite motives

sidenote i feel like the despair disease has a shit ton of analysis potential in general just bc of how it turns characters into what they hate the most!! i loveeee brainstorming what symptoms certain characters would have gotten were they to get infected. hajime especially. maybe he’d get a fawning disease where he starts praising everyone nagito-style (this would highlight their bystander parallels and also make hajime feel MISERABLE bc he fucking hates when nagito points out how similar they are lmao). or maybe he’d get an apathy disease that’d essentially izuru-fy him (wonderful foreshadowing potential there, not to imagine the incredible angst of izuru being the thing hajime would hate to be most in the world.) alas i am not a fanfic author so i will sit with my concepts but it is a wonderful daydream with any dangan characters i’d highly recommend it :]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! I SCREAM IN UNISON WITH YOU I LOOOVEEE THE DESAIR DISEASE!!!!! MAN… I’M SO OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU INTERPRET AND ARTICULATED THE DESPAIR DISEASE💗💗💗 The Despair Disease is genuinely so good for analyzing I really do believe Danganronpa 2 Chapter 3 is the best Chapter 3 out of the franchise. I think the reserving of their personalities truly meaning the traits they would hate to have is soo good I’m eating up, sealing it in my heart, and using it forever such a delightful way to explain it. The interpretations on what disease Hajime would get is so fun, I’ve seen some people interpret him getting the honesty disease which is fun in concept but I don’t think it works as well as other ideas could, y’know? Your ideas for a potential apathy or fawning disease are really fun to me, I like the idea of the fawning disease tapping into how much of a realist he is and giving him the opposite attitude Lol. Thank you so much for sending this it’s so fun I’ll be thinking about this forever, I wish I was a fanfic writer aha! I really want to become a fanfic writer, soon with time I suppose. Thank you again for sharing your daydreams with me, you’re very right it does have a lot of analysis potential! :D

[thewhumpcaretaker]

GRAH!!!!

i just thought of something bc of ur cavity fic which is vincent kissing chidi’s arrow wound after the osaka scene aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa they’re so silly and deranged<3

Aaaaaaa I really struggled with this one, I think because it's the first time I've written them during the events of the movies and this is a crisis moment for both of them. It made me get stuck on the fact that John is inevitably coming for them :( But I think I offered some amount of hope for a happy ending - it's open to interpretation. Honestly you can ignore like the whole second half if you just don't want to think about that part lmao...

-⚜- Torn Open for You -⚜-

TW: kissing open wounds, discussion of murder

Image Sources: Left (my screenshot) | Right | Kiss

Chidi’s text had come a half hour ago to say that the plane had landed. At such times, he told Vincent his every move, keeping in constant contact just as he would if they were side by side, perpetually on the verge of touching. But it wasn’t enough – Vincent was still pacing with nerves when the door finally opened.

“Chidi!” It was too intimate a tone for a boss, but the past day had worn him down, and he called out the moment they saw each other. He needed to feel safe again. He needed Chidi not just as his bodyguard, but as his husband. And he didn’t realize until that moment that he had been worried almost sick about him. Koji was a formidable foe, and the Osaka Continental was a fortress. Even with all his skills at his disposal and Caine at his side, there had always been a chance…

He was in Chidi’s arms before he could think any more awful things, because Chidi crossed the room immediately and hugged Vincent to his chest. Perhaps he had been equally worried. But all he said was, “Je suis désolé monsieur. [I’m sorry, sir.]”

“Non, vous avez bien fait. [No. You did well.]” He pulled back to look him in the eyes, letting his hands slide down Chidi’s biceps to the wrist. Chidi winced in response, and he looked down to see that there were drops of blood soaking through two layers on his forearm. “Laissez-moi voir. [Let me see.]”

Chidi held it out to let him push the sleeve. Sure enough, there was a wound underneath. It was hastily tied up with a piece of cloth that Vincent untied to reveal a deep cut, mostly stabilized but still trickling.

“Ils t'ont blessé... [[They hurt you…]”

“Une flèche. Ce n’était pas un problème. Je l'ai sorti. [An arrow. It wasn’t a problem. I pulled it out.]”

Vincent sucked in his breath, riding a mixture of lust and protective rage at the image of Chidi ripping an arrow from his arm and continuing the fight as if nothing had happened. He’d seen him like that many times – a force of nature, totally berserk. At moments like that, it was impossible for anyone but Vincent to bring him to heel. Maybe that was true at all times, in fact. His fingers traced the flesh around the wound, feeling the rawness of Chidi’s power, the veins embracing the muscle. “Formidable comme toujours, mon amour. [Formidable as always, my love],” he breathed. “Mais pourquoi n’avez-vous pas reçu de traitement avant de rentrer? [But why didn’t you get treatment before flying back?]”

He shrugged, a little apologetically. “Je pensais qu'il était urgent que je revienne. [I thought it was urgent that I return.]”

It tugged at his heart to imagine Chidi trying to get back to him as quickly as possible. He thought back to moments from their texts: "C'est fini, je reviens immédiatement." "Je serai bientôt avec toi." "Je te verrai avant le coucher du soleil, je le promets." ”Gardez les autres près de vous pendant que vous attendez, s'il vous plaît. C’est dangereux en ce moment.” [“It’s over, I’m coming back immediately.” “I’ll be with you soon.” “I’ll see you before sunset, I promise.” “Keep the others close while you wait, please. It’s dangerous right now.”] Chidi cared so much…

Vincent pulled his forearm upward and planted a kiss right over the bloody mess, slow and tender. Chidi watched him with pure reverence. He licked iron off his lips and pressed them to Chidi’s. Equally slow. Equally tender.

“Je vais vous chercher un médecin tout de suite. [I’ll get you a medic right away.]” His voice came out soft and heady, as it did when they were alone.

“Merci, monsieur.” But they didn’t move away just yet. Vincent cradled that bleeding arm against his heart. For his part, Chidi just caressed Vincent’s cheek, allowing their gazes to hold on each other. It was very, very, unfortunate, Vincent thought, that his phone went off just then.

He dragged himself away from the peace in Chidi’s eyes to glance down at the screen. The horrible pressure of the situation crashed back over him. It was that damn tracker again.

Chidi must have noticed his involuntary snarl. “Quelque chose ne va pas? [Is something wrong?]”

Vincent shoved the phone onto the table a little too hard, without bothering to answer the text. “Cet imbécile exige des augmentations de primes comme des bonbons. Je lui dis non, je reconsidère, je lui dis oui, et il le veut déjà plus haut. [This imbecile has been demanding bounty increases like candy. I tell him no, I reconsider, I tell him yes, and he already wants it higher.]”

Chidi lingered with his mouth open long enough that Vincent gave him permission. “Parler. Vous pensez à quelque chose. [Speak. You’re thinking something.]”

“Monsieur, ça vaut le coup. Dis-lui oui la première fois. Votre vie n'a pas de prix. Peu importe combien il demande. Je veux juste que tu sois en sécurité. [Sir, it’s worth it. Tell him yes the first time. Your life is priceless. It doesn’t matter how much he asks for. I just want you to be safe.]”

Your life is priceless…after a second, Vincent butted his head into his lover’s shoulder to hide the happy blush on his cheeks. “Peut êtreeee... [Mayyyybe…]” he conceded, “Mais il fait ça exprès, il essaie de me ridiculiser. Chaque fois que je lui parle, j’ai l’impression que c’est moi qui me fais poignarder. Il va me faire carrément supplier avant de faire ce qu’on lui dit. J’entends déjà la satisfaction dans sa voix si je dis oui, et il – il apprécie ça, il sait comment je vais et il est… [But he’s doing this on purpose, he’s trying to make a fool out of me. Every time I talk to him, it feels like I’m the one who’s getting stabbed. He’s going to make me outright beg before he’ll do as he’s told. I can already hear the satisfaction in his voice if I say yes, and he’s – he’s fucking enjoying it, he knows how I am and he’s…]”

Chidi tilted his face back up to meet their gazes. Vincent could read anger there. “C’est donc un homme sans valeur. Cela n’a pas d’importance, monsieur. Ce n’est personne. Vous êtes le Marquis de Gramont et vous récupérerez tout ce qu’il vous prendra au dixuple. [He’s a worthless sort of man then. He doesn’t matter, sir. He’s nobody. You’re the Marquis de Gramont and you will get back everything that he takes tenfold.]”

Chidi didn’t talk like this often, didn’t even suggest that the two of them should give in to anyone. Vincent searched his face and found real concern. He was serious, John Wick really scared him.

He couldn’t deny that he felt it too. A terrible dread in the pit of his stomach, like something was coming. Its name was John Wick, and it had to be stamped out.

Vincent considered while Chidi took his hand from off his arm and kissed it. A kiss on the palm. “En plus, c’est un imbécile. Il ne pourra pas profiter de l’argent. [Besides, he’s the fool. He won’t get to enjoy the money.]” A kiss on the knuckles. “Il n’aura même pas l’occasion de se réjouir. Quand ce sera fini, je le tuerai pour avoir joué avec toi dans un moment comme celui-ci. [He won’t even get to gloat. When this is over, I’ll kill him for toying with you at a time like this.]” A kiss on his ring.

Vincent grinned as if his lover had offered to take him out for ice cream. “Est-ce ainsi? [Is that so?]”

“Bien sûr, Marquis. [Of course, Marquis.]”

There were times in his life when he would never have considered debasing himself so much as to say yes to a first offer for a deal, let alone beg to a subordinate. The thought of giving in to this little prick still felt almost physically painful but… the certainty that Chidi would be beside him no matter what made a sliver of a dent in that feeling. “Eh bien. Je vais y penser. [Well then. I’ll think about it.]” For you. If you’ll tear yourself open for me, no matter how much it hurts…well. Maybe I can do the same.

[tenderlady]

hi love!! out of curiosity, i didn't know about the lindsay ellis video, how bad is it?

hey, friend!

so, the video itself is here:

in the interest of full disclosure, i haven't actually seen it, so i really can't comment on the quality. my beef is not with lindsay ellis or the work that she's doing--as far as youtubers go, i think she's actually one of the better ones. this video might actually be good! but i haven't watched it, so i, frankly, don't know. my beef is much more with the video essay as a form and what it's doing rather than with lindsay ellis, or this video, specifically.

i'm guessing you're asking because of my tags on this post, which articulates a lot of my issues with the video essay industrial complex lmao, which gets at a lot of my discomfort with them. i used to watch video essays (a lot!), and a lot of my friends still do. like a lot of people, when i got out of grad school, i found i wasn't reading as much anymore, but i still wanted to be stimulated intellectually, and video essays were a good way to do that. but eventually i realized that i wasn't actually Learning Anything lol.

as ismatu gwendolyn says in her piece, "short-form video entertains more than it sticks." this was the place i was finding myself getting into when i was watching video essays a lot, and also the place i see my friends getting into. they are video (and arguably this isn't really short-form since it's over an hour long but i digress), but i find that most people i know don't actually Watch Them the way that you would watch a movie or, say, a lecture in a college class. instead they listen to them as you would listen to a podcast or an audiobook, which is to say While Doing Other Things. some of this is definitely because of the way our current economy is structured (a lot of the people listening to video essays are very busy, i.e., in university or working in a professional desk-type job, or have minimal downtime when not doing those things and have to double dip with their free time, so like things they can use to multi-task), and that is something i totally understand. but if we're looking at these as pedagogical objects (teaching tools from people who are trying to impart knowledge in some kind of way) they're actually not very effective. i respect folks like philosophy tube or contrapoints who include reading lists with their videos, but how many people are actually turning to these original sources? another of gwendolyn's points that i absolutely agree with is that you are engaging with a work in a totally different way by reading it. you have to give a written text your full attention, which is why the backbone of education is still Reading. this full attention forces you to have a deeper engagement with a text than you would while listening to it ambiently, or even just watching it. i get that there are people who can't do this for various reasons, but if actually sitting down with the texts a video essayist is talking about is available to you, you will find a totally different experience, even if those texts are just beatlebooks lol. (additionally, primary video texts--like interview footage of the beatles and yoko--are also hugely informative and different from the interpretive work i'm assuming is happening in lindsay's video)

i actually watched a good chunk of contrapoints' most recent video on desire but ended up dipping around the middle because she brought up anne carson and i realized i could just be reading anne carson lmao. i told a friend about this and he looked at me like i had sprouted an extra head and said "i never really thought about doing that. you're probably the only person i know who's ever done that." i get that like, 5 nerds in usamerica are hardly a representative sample, but that is the kind of behavior i see with video essays: people using them to fill a void of silence while they work/study/play video games/fold laundry rather than engaging with the material critically and learning in a concerted way.

the entertainment aspect is also something that bugs me, but i am a joyless hag, so that may just be me. i have a similar issue with john oliver. folks like oliver and the video essayists are definitely making complex issues more accessible to people who may be unfamiliar, but i don't know if they actually do much in the way of using that opened door to get people anywhere. there's also the issue of video essays being monetized. this isn't to say that Theory(TM) Isn't Monetized (they are published in journals and books, which you often have to buy), but that monetization isn't embedded into the work itself the way it is with video essays. nothing kills the vibe for me like talking about the great works of a philosopher and getting jumpscared by an ad for rocketmortgage or nordvpn halfway through.

like i said: i've watched video essays from time to time. i still do! but sometime in the last like.....4 or 5 years i realized that there were other things i could be doing with my One Wild & Precious Life.

to bring it back to the lindsay ellis video: i had a bunch of irl's (including a fucking ex that i don't talk to anymore!!!!!) send it to me, and i'm sure lindsay does a good job, but i kind of doubt she's going to tell me anything i don't already know lmao. one thing i love about the beatles fandom on here is that (for the most part) we aren't afraid to actually do Real Research Ourselves. the girlies are reading primary sources!!!! i just feel like the lindsay ellis beatle video is Not For Me, but feel free to prove me wrong!

[voidedaurora]

Alrighty guys, Since she decided to get her friend Gaia in the mix and write a big document stressing "LEGAL INFO LEGAL INFO LEGAL INFO " and didn't even really say much about the screenshots I provided (and when they did it was "omg look she's pressuring her to apologize for being horrible to people") which is crazy on its own, Overall her response is JUST as bad as I thought it would be and I have no choice but to prove my point by sharing alot of blatantly sexual texts/interactions :,) didn't want to do this for the privacy of everyone involved but she's currently trying to make herself into a victim and that is absolutely NOT what happened Alrighty then. sorry Mel but you've genuinely brought this upon yourself by being a lying piece of shit and trying to be the victim in every situation, you are a vile person Clover's messages will be censored/blocked out unless they absolutely need to be there for context

Context may be added to some screenshots to make sure they are not interpreted a different way TW: Sexual topics, coercion, S/A, general toxicity Firstly I'm going to go through a bit of their doc and what Mel apparently was "thinking" during this whole thing happening

Clover and I never pressured, forced, repetitively insisted on, or anything else of the sort towards Mel and us all having "group activity" , Clover and I only were comfortable/did any of this to begin with to her to help her heal from her own sexual trauma, she was our friend and she had mentioned alot how it affected her and how she couldn't do "stuff" on her own, we essentially extended a helping hand that she did NOT have to take and had every opportunity and right to say no or back out at any point, we made that very clear to her. (2nd time) Her randomly letting us know she was horny/going to jackoff [please note that alot of what I said towards her was playful banter and not any attempts to coerce or force her into doing it]

Skipped a bit of irrelevant convo (was mostly just laughing/Lmao's and doesn't add to the convo at all)

Skipped a bit more irrelevant convo (to clarify if anyone needs the in-betweens I'm more than willing to provide, there's just a limit to what I can put in a tumblr post)

As you can see with just this instance by itself, she was a willing participant and nobody pressured her into anything.

She could theoretically claim "they pressured me in vc" but just by using the context of these screenshots and her behavior AFTER we all fucked you can tell she wasn't in any distress or anything, actively making doodles about it and such. I'd like to state that even if what she is saying is true and she didn't want to do any of that with us that it doesn't change anything, it doesn't change the fact she lied about it being mutual to get into my pants, and It doesn't change the fact of it being assault. Additionally, the point I am making is not lack of consent that makes it assault, we all consented at the time BUT the important part of that is the fact that she'd lied to gain that consent and later admitted so to me personally.

What Gaia wrote in the doc is indeed the definitions for coercion and assault BUT context is just as important, in situations like this if someone lies to you to get you to have sex or anything of that nature with them it is coercion and assault I and many others consider what Mel did Assault and I think that theoretically within a court of law this same conclusion could be reached, especially with the context I've provided. You should agree shouldn't you? context is very important.

Furthermore If she continues to deny all of this and make excuses, I am more than willing to provide more context, more screenshots, and more proof backing up how willing she was. (I'll share the 1st instance which was a lot more sexually charged, along with some other personal things) I am not going to let her deny this and make herself out to be a victim, she needs to take responsibility for once and admit what she's done. Aswell, I don't believe she addressed the fact that she told me she'd only done things as a group to do things with me in that response. Here's some things to mention within your own document that support what I've claimed aswell

as stated here, what mel did would fall under trickery.

I will state once again, none of this is out of spite, I'm not out to "get" mel, this isn't a overreaction or me spreading false information specifically to make her look bad just because we aren't friends anymore, its none of that.

All of this is things I (once again) stayed quiet about for a very long time and am only now coming out about because of the events that have gone on, I have no reason to keep it private anymore and she has proven (once again) she's willing to lie and lie to cover her ass. With the situation about the apologies

There is alot of things wrong with this statement, Firstly she did NOT only apologize for the public discourse it created she apologizes for multiple things within this doc including the ones below (I say she apologized in airquotes because she didn't write any of these apologies as we all know) Here's a few relevant separate apologies within the doc that aren't just troubling the public 1. response

2. apologizing for spreading misinfo about RED/MAGENTA

3. Apologizing for the drawings she made of her and EX being all lovey as their child selves

4. death threat apology for EX

5. Honest (video) apology

She did not JUST apologize for the public, she also offered personal apologies within the doc that obviously were not written herself and were not in any way, shape, or form genuine thoughts or feelings of hers, I think the screenshots in my previous post are more than enough proof. I'd like to also make a point that I know what Khai, Mel, and her friends/fans have all been saying about this whole thing in her server. Everyone, especially Mel and Khai/s attitude towards this entire thing absolutely disgusts me and proves just how bad you all actually are. If anyone in her server that's participated in making fun of me, the claims, etc. are seeing this right now then please stay safe and I hope you all become better less vile people. Absolutely wild that when Mel made her s/a claim even though she never provided a lick of proof everyone supported her but the second I open up about Clover and I/s experiences I have to violate our privacy to try and prove my words are true. Don't get me wrong, I have had people support us, and I'm extremely greateful for that fact, but knowing people are making fun of me for speaking up about this? Calling me crazy because of my bpd? Literally disgusting Not to mention initially when they all first told everyone "hey no misinfo! not true! wait for mels side!" none of them had actually read the doc and assumed I was talking about something else (guilty conscience I guess) That is all I have to say for now, if more evidence is demanded I can provide, I am extremely uncomfortable and honestly angry that I had to share any of this to begin with but it was to be expected with her denying everything once again, so sorry for this possibly not being written and formatted the best, I'm not a professional and I just wanted to speak on what's gone on. If anyone has any questions, there's something I didn't address, you need anything clarified/want to see the missing screenshots, have something to say, or anything else you are free to send an ask or possibly dm me on discord (mostly try and ask for stuff through asks but if you need to dm its ok!) Edit: since I've also caught wind of people being like "omg this should've been handled in private" I gave her 3 months to handle this in private and she refused to come to me to clear things up, apologize, or take accountability, seeing some of these people following her blindly when she's done NOTHING to refute any of my claims, no evidence, nothing is absolutely beyond disappointing , im not going to force anyone to believe me nor can I but I have every right to speak about all of this since nobody will ever get closure and what mel has done/does is not ok and hasn't been for a very long time. Edit #2: aswell for the people saying that the screenshots aren't proof of s/a, you are correct! that is not what the screenshots were for, the screenshots were to refute the claim that she was pressured and was an unwilling participant, I cannot prove what mel said to me (aka, the her admitting that she only slept with both of us to sleep with me) because it was said in a vc but I am providing literally everything I can and have been providing extensive amounts of context, proof, and information to back up what I've been saying Hopefully you decide to tell the truth mel

[ghoulphile]

okay I have a question and idk if it was answered in the show but was Moldaver even aware that Lucy got stabbed by Monty? Like she must have loved her like a daughter if she got ‘along’ so well with Rose so ? Sorry if this is a stupid question but I haven’t been able to rewatch the show and I need to know

not a stupid question at all! i don't think they ever directly address it tbh but i have two personal interpretations:

one is that monty was dispatched to keep her away from the conflict by any means necessary as the fighting broke out decently far away from where she was. they might not have been expecting her to fight as well as she does, and in the beginning before the stabbing, monty was aggressive but i didn't get the i'm going to kill you vibe - more like i need to incapacitate you. it's only as lucy started to fight back in earnest that it escalated. she would not go quietly and it very much turned into a her or me moment.

the other is that by this point moldaver has lost it all - city burned to ash, lover (fite me i dare u lmao) ghoulified, and her life's work, an advanced piece of tech that would objectively make the wasteland a utopia, under lock and key. maybe she wasn't so pressed for it during the height of shady sands because they were rebuilding. humanity was starting to thrive once more even if it was on a smaller scale.

but then hank dropped the bomb, and all that progress was destroyed. forced her back to square one (not to say she never had any intentions on regaining cold fusion before the desecration of shady sands but yk). cold fusion was the only way to go forward, and hard choices would have to be made. the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few kind of deal.

getting back her tech would benefit all of mankind, and as callous as it seems lucy wasn't needed for her plan with hank and wilzig. here's a girl she knew as a child, that she cared for probably as deeply or if not, very very close to how much she cared for rose. and its either her - if she gets in the way - or bringing unlimited power back to the wasteland. moldaver has always stuck me as very machiavellian, and i have sooo many more thoughts about her but i'll stop talking now lmao.

i really, really hope to see more of her and her backstory in season two. she feels far too important for the role she's played pre & post war to only be in season one imo.

im so sorry for the wall of text i got carried away

[biceratops7]

Good omens leak talk under cut, literally just vivid descriptions, keep away unless you’ve seen it and it’s too late:

Ok I have literally been staring at that image periodically whenever I think about it for several days. Because I am normal and like things neurotypically. So here’s literally just a big list of observations no matter how minute. If you read this whole thing then the brain worms have made it to your prefrontal cortex.

Crowley has his glasses on (already explained my theory behind that)

Crowley is obviously the instigator but it’s unclear whether or not Azirphale is currently an active participant, or if he’s still processing. I’m leaning on still processing, but it’s hard to tell with the shadow on his brow obscuring his expression and not being able to see his hands

Speaking of that shadow, what the hell is up with the lighting in this scene?? It’s not bad except for making things in an already blurry still unclear, it’s just strange to have something softly back lit but also clearing having another additional light source else where. It’s an interesting choice because it can lead to inference of the circumstances here.

Second, related question: where the hell are they?? So let’s just take stock of everything BUT Azirphale and Crowley we see here. First of all it’s mostly in shadow, however there is a prominent light source behind Aziraphale, possibly close to him. The light we see on Crowley’s hair is likely from the doorway behind them.

Quick detour, the doorway is the brightest thing in the frame, creating a slight silhouette effect. Silhouettes are often used in film for moments that are a big deal but visually obvious. It shows weight through simplicity because you still know what’s happening and why it’s important with way less visual info than normal. We all IMMEDIATELY recognized what was happening and lost our shits even though it’s in shadow and currently obscured by giant text.

Ok so anyway this all leads me to believe they’re in a mostly dark room with one bright but not very far reaching light. I wanna say it’s almost fluorescent? Or an exposed lightbulb? It certainly doesn’t look warm like a lamp to me.

In addition I believe they’re inside a room to a larger building. The light coming from the door is almost certainly NOT day light. It’s purely white as if it’s a very well lit room or hall. There also is what I think looks like an exit sign near the top next to the doorway, or at least idk what else it could be. Because of that I don’t think this is anyone’s home or small shop.

I find this EXTREMELY interesting because the only prominent location we really see fit that vibe or description is the office building of heaven and hell. This season seems to be particularly highlighting that “neutral ground” between then, with the elevator showing up three times.

Now this one is just me trying to interpret literal blobs, but there either appears to be some sort of rounded extension to the top of the door way, or the walls are just thick. Make of that what you will

the room appears relatively spacious but mostly bare, almost like a holding place. But obviously with such a tight frame this can be hard to tell. I did take note of the fact that you can see some brown lines behind Aziraphale in the first frame, so there is clearly something there.

Alright enough waxing poetry about the damn walls, I know that they're probably standing up. Crowley might be in a position where he can twist into it from a sitting position, but with Aziraphale' shoulders so far forward and his back entirely angled to face Crowley, he'd either have to be straddling a chair or his lower spine is snapping like a glowstick.

Aziraphale is not being pushed against anything, he’s rocking backwards despite the force being applied to pull him forward, so in other words our boy Crowley’s REALLY shooting his shot, lmao

Aziraphale’s arms are confusing. They’re clearly not holding onto Crowley even out of frame, but they also don’t seem fully relaxed at his sides to me either.

WAIT, ok so the standing is still a strong contender, but they could also be sitting across from eachother at a small table. Crowley seems hunched over a bit more than is warranted for Aziraphale’s height, and Aziraphale’s arms could propped up at the elbows supporting his weight.

So damnit this adds a whole new layer to the location question

[thefeathercollective]

we're 99.9% sure that portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa was plural.

okay uh disclaimer. we're not a psychology or literature expert by any means. we rarely even read poetry. we only heard of this guy in high school literature class and the thought stuck with us and then we found plausible evidence lmao. also, as a plural system ourselves, we're clearly biased.

and a considerable amount of this post will be sourced from wikipedia. and this is the first time we've made a post like this. please don't come after us I'm just writing this for fun lmao

huge ramble ahead!

who even was that man

Fernando António Nogueira Pessoa (Portuguese: [fɨɾˈnɐ̃du pɨˈsoɐ]; 13 June 1888 – 30 November 1935) was a Portuguese poet, writer, literary critic, translator, publisher, and philosopher, described as one of the most significant literary figures of the 20th century and one of the greatest poets in the Portuguese language. He also wrote in and translated from English and French.

yeah that's who the man was. but what really sparked our interest in him during class and made us wonder if he was plural were his...

✨heteronyms✨

y'know pseudonyms? when someone writes under a different name than their own for whatever reason? these are similar, but the catch is that the different names have different personalities, supposed appearances, philosophies, all that shit.

the term was coined by Pessoa himself, and his heteronyms were written as if they were real people. they had detailed careers, histories, etc. he had at least 70, although I vaguely remember some other source estimating it at around 100.

"but eva, these could just be OCs or something!",

he had 3 main ones though, being Alberto Caeiro (known for interpreting the world as-is, without greater meaning or anything, like some sorta anti-poet), Álvaro de Campos (a naval engineer who even had multiple phases in his philosophy) and Ricardo Reis (who wrote with a lot of structure and rationality, and was very pessimistic).

I predict someone typing. to that, I begin my endless copy-paste + ramble about all the things that make us think the heteronyms were headmates.

I'll throw in a section of a letter Pessoa wrote to some other poet (bolding the parts I find relevant because I don't love walls of text lmao)

How do I write in the name of these three? Caeiro, through sheer and unexpected inspiration, without knowing or even suspecting that I'm going to write in his name. Ricardo Reis, after an abstract meditation, which suddenly takes concrete shape in an ode. Campos, when I feel a sudden impulse to write and don't know what. (My semi-heteronym Bernardo Soares, who in many ways resembles Álvaro de Campos, always appears when I'm sleepy or drowsy, so that my qualities of inhibition and rational thought are suspended; his prose is an endless reverie. He's a semi-heteronym because his personality, although not my own, doesn't differ from my own but is a mere mutilation of it. He's me without my rationalism and emotions. His prose is the same as mine, except for certain formal restraint that reason imposes on my own writing, and his Portuguese is exactly the same – whereas Caeiro writes bad Portuguese, Campos writes it reasonably well but with mistakes such as "me myself" instead of "I myself", etc.., and Reis writes better than I, but with a purism I find excessive…)

so not only does he describe writing Caeiro completely unexpectedly, he also gives the same sort of opinion about his heteronyms' writings that we've seen (and experienced) plural folks give about their headmates' typing or drawing styles.

hell, "writes better than I but with a purism I find excessive" is exactly my opinion of lynn when he does our assignments lmao

the semi-heteronym surfacing when Pessoa is sleepy could be some sorta dissociative state that lets a headmate come through, be it straight-up fronting or passive influence... but I'm probably forcing it too much here.

uhhh here's something on the heteronym thing from some guy called richard zenish. I bolded some parts again

For each of his 'voices', Pessoa conceived a highly distinctive poetic idiom and technique, a complex biography, a context of literary influence and polemics and, most arrestingly of all, subtle interrelations and reciprocities of awareness. [...] Pessoa was often unsure who was writing when he wrote, and it's curious that the very first item among the more than 25,000 pieces that make up his archives in the National Library of Lisbon bears the heading A. de C. (?) or B. de D. (or something else).

"okay.... they could still be characters though"

the heteronyms were aware of and sometimes interacted between themselves. wikipedia's list of Pessoa's heteronyms even has the man himself as a heteronym and pupil of Alberto Caeiro, although I don't feel like going after the source for that bit.

dear hypothetical person I'm quoting here, you're entitled to your opinion. but how about we take, say... a more DID/OSDD-y approach to things? because there's things that hint that Fernando Pessoa's plurality could be traumagenic and/or disordered too.

When Pessoa was five, his father, Joaquim de Seabra Pessôa, died of tuberculosis and less than seven months later his younger brother Jorge, aged one, also died (2 January 1889).

(written by himself about himself:) Nothing had ever obliged him to do anything. He had spent his childhood alone. He never joined any group. He never pursued a course of study. He never belonged to a crowd. The circumstances of his life were marked by that strange but rather common phenomenon – perhaps, in fact, it's true for all lives – of being tailored to the image and likeness of his instincts, which tended towards inertia and withdrawal.

(written by a schoolfellow:) For one of his age, he thought much and deeply and in a letter to me once complained of "spiritual and material encumbrances of most especial adverseness". He took no part in athletic sports of any kind and I think his spare time was spent on reading. We generally considered that he worked far too much and that he would ruin his health by so doing.

so childhood trauma, check...? at the very least this stuff doesn't sound very good for a child's mental health.

Pessoa's earliest heteronym, at the age of six, was Chevalier de Pas. Other childhood heteronyms included Dr. Pancrácio and David Merrick, followed by Charles Robert Anon, a young Englishman who became Pessoa's alter ego.

"I can remember what I believe was my first heteronym, or rather, my first nonexistent acquaintance — a certain Chevalier de Pas — through whom I wrote letters to myself when I was six years old, and whose not entirely hazy figure still has a claim on the part of my affections that borders on nostalgia. I have a less vivid memory of another figure . . . who was a kind of rival to the Chevalier de Pas. Such things occur to all children ? Undoubtedly — or perhaps. But I lived them so intensely that I live them still; their memory is so strong that I have to remind myself that they weren’t real."

oh I just found some spiritual stuff too

the appearance of the first heteronym was after his family members died so that's one thing... and like, that's not just one childhood heteronym but at least four. and well, to me they sound a bit too vivid for your average imaginary friend.

Pessoa's interest in spiritualism was truly awakened in the second half of 1915, while translating theosophist books. This was further deepened in the end of March 1916, when he suddenly started having experiences where he believed he became a medium, having experimented with automatic writing. [...] Besides automatic writing, Pessoa stated also that he had "astral" or "etherial visions" and was able to see "magnetic auras" similar to radiographic images. [...] Mediumship exerted a strong influence in Pessoa's writings, who felt "sometimes suddenly being owned by something else" or having a "very curious sensation" in the right arm, which was "lifted into the air" without his will. Looking in the mirror, Pessoa saw several times what appeared to be the heteronyms: his "face fading out" and being replaced by the one of "a bearded man", or another one, four men in total.

........

man, this wikipedia article is extensive and full of stuff that supports our silly little theory, huh.

yeah, so he attributed it to spiritual reasons which is fair and valid, but... "owned by something else" all of a sudden? the thing with the right arm sounding a lot like partial possession in tulpamancy? seeing his heteronyms' faces in the mirror?

yeahhhh.

(I'm guessing the magnetic aura thing could be some sorta derealization, contributing to the he-was-a-dissociative-system hypothesis, but that's yet another stretch on my part.)

(plus, spiritual plurality is a thing.)

oh! this thing he wrote sounds a lot like it too.

"This tendency to create around me another world . . . began in me as a young adult, when a witty remark that was completely out of keeping with who I am or think I am would sometimes and for some unknown reason occur to me, and I would immediately, spontaneously say it as if it came from some friend of mine whose name I would invent, along with biographical details, and whose figure — physiognomy, stature, dress and gestures — I would immediately see before me."

let's just do a quick google..

am I biased? yes, very much so. but y'know. you can see I have my reasons.

to see if any people with more qualifications than we have think the same about Fernando Pessoa possibly being plural lmao.

...oh, yes. contrary to what we thought a couple years ago when we had that class about the guy, other people have indeed thought the same. and written about it.

keywords "fernando pessoa mpd" give us:

this paper from 2012 (in portuguese) that... well, I *think* it claims he had mpd but it's very convoluted and abstract about it

this little... forum post? from 2009 that quotes a dead link :v

this one seems kinda cool. it regards Pessoa's positive approach to his heteronym-having as a creative condion called Pessoa Syndrome, and later mentions some Multiple Personality Order (not disorder). don't love some of its wording about mental disorders and madness... it's good to see someone consider healthy multiplicity as a thing that exists, though. it also claims Pessoa became someone with multiple personalities through his heteronymic writing, which is yet another possible origin I hadn't considered before for some fucking reason.

this one cites a dissociative process

this one straight up calls it "subject plurality"!

conclusion ig. I'm pretending to be organized here.

other keywords (like "fernando pessoa dissociative") provide some more results :0 but I've been writing this post for far too long now and would rather not read through more odd wording lmao

it really surprises me that wikipedia doesn't mention the possibility at all from what I've read and ctrl+F'ed. I thought we were being a conspiracy theorist about it but then I found even more stuff to back us up, including other people's analyses. so that's nice.

and I think this kind of thing, of plurals of the past, should be talked about more in the community. it's really interesting to say the least.

...

how does one even end a post like this one.

uhh thanks for reading!!

[tonyglowheart]

Thinking again (more, lmao) about The Contentious Chapter 45, and my Why It Needed to Happen thesis, so here are some more semi-organized thoughts on this topic:

Why It Needed to Happen: Yan Wushi edition. So, we don't ever really know what specifically Yan Wushi went through/experienced in his life and more specifically his childhood - we get hints here and there that seem to imply or can be interpreted to be that he's gone through some shit as Xie Ling, and that's (partly? mostly?) what led him to reinvent himself as Yan Wushi, and then there's also the New Years Extra that has a line about how he'd (already) witnessed countless evils borne of the human heart - but the text does tell us he has this belief that human nature is wicked, slash humans can be pushed to do wicked things no matter how "good" they may think themselves to be. As far as YWS knew by Chap 45, SQ was no different -- he'd received no proof yet that SQ was different, he just hadn't found SQ's bottom line. This is sort of similar to the abused child or abused dog thing, where they will lash out to try to provoke the abuse they're expecting either to "get it over with" or so they know where the line is with this new person (except these are purposeful tests that YWS is doing and not like a reactionary mechanism). Basically, this needed to happen for YWS to know/believe that Shen Qiao is different from what he's observed of human nature -- he needed this proof of concept that the world isn't just rival(/rival peers) -- the closest to equals he has, and rabble. This needed to happen to show/prove - to him and the reader - that there may be a thousand Chen Gong's in the world, but there is only one Shen Qiao.

Why It Needed to Happen: Shen Qiao edition. Shen Qiao is a good guy, but he WAS very sheltered and naive. He holds his beliefs firmly, but his worldly experience was limited and so his character was untried. It's the "it's easy to be a good person when you're rich" idea -- he doesn't know if he has a bottom line yet if he would snap. It's easy to say that you will stay true to your principles when they're not tested - it's when they're put under the stress test that you can truly say that you know yourself and your character. Yan Wushi threw him into a fire, yes, but in many ways this was a tempering of his character, much as one would temper steel. This whole experience very much was an absolute low for Shen Qiao, and it's easy to see fire (analogy) as only destructive, but fire can also be a creative force -- e.g. the forging/tempering analogy from earlier, fires used to clear out brush and weeds choking up the land so that new growth can germinate in the new fire-enriched soil, that kind of thing. This isn't to say that Shen Qiao doesn't experience agony in this metaphoric fire, but he also very much textually experiences a sort of epiphany and rebirth. This is both a spiritual (character-based) sort of rebirth, as well as a rebirth of his wugong. It's after this and after traveling with Yan Wushi that we see Shen Qiao exhibiting much more wisdom when it comes to people, where he's not just naively believing and expecting the good in everyone (I don't have specific citations but iirc this is textual, there's whole parts where it's like, before he might have thought x, but now having traveled with YWS he knows xyz, etc.) Yes this was "bad," maybe, but it tempered Shen Qiao, catalyzed his recovery/"rebirth," and overall led to the strengthening of his wugong and his character. (The conversation they have in Chapter 124 underscores this point, actually.)

Why It Needed to Happen: Yanshen edition. Or maybe more like, what does it do for us from a yanshen perspective lol. Cuz imo, it does a lot. I've posted about this elsewhere before lol, but like aside from the above for the YWS side of things, an argument can also be made that this was YWS going "wait. oh shit, I'm experiencing... feelings? for him" (narrator voice: that feeling was friendship, although he had never experienced it before) and like, lashing out at Shen Qiao like "that'll show you for thinking of me as a friend (and maybe making me feel friend-like feelings towards you..)" -- he was already softening before this (him digging that grave for the dead boy unasked, for example), and the way he's like. ....so you think of me as a... friend? before he pulls the rug from under SQ's feet. But this is important because it tells us that YWS *does* care. He's flippant and teasing and gives the impression that he does it for personal amusement and not really out of affection or anything, so really Shen Qiao may be his latest target of amusement, but it could be anyone. But the fact that he reacted like this to Shen Qiao declaring him a friend instead of just dismissing him as not being worthy of being his friend, not being on his level, etc (I mean he does also do that, but it's not the FIRST thing he does, and also I'd argue that when he Declared it contextually he was purposefully trying to hurt Shen Qiao's feelings), or like, just laughing at him and ridiculing SQ for something so preposterous -- this tells us that he IS feeling some kind of way about Shen Qiao already, that something HAS changed and Shen Qiao went from "latest disposable amusement" to at least "point of fascination." We're not in the endgame yet with this, but it does show that for all that Yan Wushi is trying to influence and "experiment" on Shen Qiao, traveling with Shen Qiao/being around him is conversely having an effect on him, too. That he's not just some unchangeable flat "evil" archetype but is also a complex character that responds to stimulus/reacts to his environment and is capable of being influenced by Shen Qiao. Theirs isn't just a one-sided relationship of one influencing the other or one trying to change the other-- it already by this point is a mutual communion between the opposing but complementary worldviews they hold and embody. They're already like if the taijitu were people (sans the dots in each section-- that comes through the course of the story with their mutual temperings). The same or similar actually holds for the SQ side of things too. Actually, the very fact that he feels anguish from this act and finds it a betrayal is also a very huge indication that Shen Qiao also already cares. I mean, yes, he declared YWS his friend, but like YWS said when they were burying the boy - you didn't even cry when your shidi Yu Ai betrayed you - or later when YWS was about to face Hulugu and SQ says if he were to do it, it would seem natural, but if a friend were to do it, he'd worry. and YWS is like, a friend? If LQY were to face Hulugu would you feel the same way? -- Basically, a similar idea holds here. Would you feel the same way if it were someone else? Yu Ai betrayed him, we didn't see him experience this level of individual, personal anguish. Chen Gong betrayed him, he just kind of sighed and moved on. But coming from Yan Wushi... he reflects on how much it hurt, actually. I still hold to my theory that SQ fell first and by this point was already at least kind of in love with YWS, but even that aside, the very fact that this "betrayal" hurt SQ shows that Shen Qiao, like Yan Wushi, despite seeming above worldly/petty matters slash is disconnected from such normal-people-problems like getting your feelings hurt or, godforbid, heartbreak -- are very much not above that, at least, not when it comes to each other. They're not just two ships passing each other in the night -- they're already mutually entangled together, and this growing bond will only grow stronger as they travel more together

[absurdumsid]

Sid's AUs/OCs/Series Masterlist !!

intro post was starting to look long (<- guy who noticed too late) so i decided to make this !

ill be updating this every now and then because i um i love lists teehee

Bar Sanses/BS AU - It's based off of an ancient fanfic I wrote where a deserted Dusttale Grillby's becomes Nightmare's hideout. Dust is the bartender, Horror got kidnapped, Saejun is an accomplice, and the only really "bad" sanses are Nightmare and Killer lmao

@dustbar is the askblog for this !! unfortunately it's a bit inactive right now because i'm.... playing minecraft...

lore: main "lore" post second lore-ish post old outfits lore-ish posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 vaguely bs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 fic snippets: 1 2 3

Jacketswap Saga - My most favourite thing ever, I switch my ships' jackets, that's it. You can interpret this as part of BS AU if you'd like ! (So far I've done MTTPoly, HorrorDust, and ColourKiller !)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

III Classic - Fell finds out he has three boyfriends (idk where I was going with this one ngl) never mind fell gets ALL the boyfriends (not updatin the name though because um. im lazy ?)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Sanses Stage AU/ALNST AU - basically alien stage but i force sanses into it <3

1 2 3 4

KeeperTale - An AU where the Justice and Perseverance humans were childhood friends with the First Human. Upon learning about their death, the two set out on an adventure to Mt. Ebott. Unfortunately, while one of them sought reason, the other wanted vengeance... and thus the monsters are forced into another war.

main lore post 1 2 3

UnderPills - An AU where after Asriel and Chara's deaths, the Underground grieved and monsters started turning into dust unprovoked. The Royal Scientist created a CURE that would preserve monsters' life, but… they grew too dependent on the drug.

lore: part 1 doodles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 text: 1 2 3

UnderAngel - An AU where Asgore and the monsters did not fight the humans and surrendered themselves to be sealed in Mt. Ebott. Patiently waiting for the angel from the prophecy, they live peacefully underground. (There isn't exactly a full lore post, as this is my biggest work in progress, so feel free to speculate about it !)

main "lore" post 1 2

Copyverse - A story that happens in-between and after the events of KeeperTale, UnderPills, and UnderAngel ! I'd like to make a comic for it after I properly write the lore and canon events for the AUs involved in it. (So far, KeeperTale has been finished !)

characters: sanses skeleton families lore-ish: 1 2 3 4 5 6 in universe-ish: 1 2 3

Outcode Counselling - Basically a tiny corner of the void that belongs to Angel! Gaster, where he counsels Outcodes. Currently, his patients are Pills! Gaster, HorrorPills! Sans, Keeper! Grillby, and Recover! Sans (@grinn1ng-ma5k's sans)

1 2 3 4 5

Steamverse [Express] - a train that runs through the entire multiverse, the conductors are Grillby and Gaster ! They are friends with Replica, an Outcode !

1 2

last update: 4/20/2024

[smallidarityfan]

Hello! I know this is a Smallidarity blog. But I wanted to ask, what's your opinion on Boat Boys? And don't take this the wrong way, I love both Smallidarity and Boat Boys!

Hi!!! It's okay to ask non-smallidarity things hehe :3

text wall below (i like yapping):

I like Boat Boys !!! Honestly only just after Joel got onto Hermitcraft I'd say. I watched Joel's Double Life when it was uploading and honestly like. their dynamic didn't feel any more special than two guys playing minecraft and having fun on a casual/content creator level so it didn't really stand out to me at that point.

But Limited Life had like 2 banger Boat Boys one-liners from Etho i guess, and then the Decked Out Stream with the neck kisses bit which was pretty funny, and then Hermitcraft when they really went with the obsessed bit LMAO 😭😭

by HC tho I think they two finally had their dynamic sort of established ? Like we'd finally know how they'd act in casual circumstances or just when playing normal minecraft. Which I do like seeing at the times it happens!!

I think what really made me see their game is especially especially all the fan arts and those animations by Mellozheist really assured me of their dynamic and aesthetic as a duo, which I do love seeing on my tl often!!

Though in Joel's streams, chat would ask his opinion on Etho often and Joel would either make an obsession joke or comment how completely mysterious Etho is. Which tells me on the down-side that they're still at the stage of average friends and colleagues rather than close friends, so canon-wise they aren't my favourite duo compared to other pairings. (i am a sucker for dynamics of people who are close friends)

Also, pet peeve i have, but sometimes I do feel like their interactions feel a liiittle bit forced with chat pushing them to talk about their 'obsessions' with each other all the time. Which i feel like. yk it's been more than 6 months since the bit started. like even I am over smallidarity's "Is this the closest we're ever going to get to making out?" and don't base their entire dynamic on that one instance of them making out in Real Life smp. Yk ?!

(which i guess these kinda things are an unavoidable part of content creation where fans hold on to early introduced bits as long as there are new people flooding in) (so I won't generalize that much onto the duo themselves) (also i HATE FUN!!! /j)

All in all, canon-wise, not my favourite pair. But pretty high standings in terms of aesthetic and fanon interpretations !

Final score: 7.6/10 🆒‼️

(You can really tell that I like to stick close to canon dynamics rather than fanon concepts so er 😭 might be a tad bit biased) (i also loveeee best friends tropes if uh. that wasn't clear with my whole account. LMAO)

[anonzentimes]

abt your previous ask!! i agree that komahina gets hate sometimes in 2024 but also remember that kmhn is debatably the most popular ship of the FRANCHISE lmao?? imo to take the “kmhn is toxic” argument to so much heart is a nothing burger… search hinata’s or komaeda’s character tag and its like 99% kmhn art. i genuinely dont think its an issue of homophobia or stupidity or anything i think it just comes down to hinata being a Player Surrogate and komaeda being the antag thats constantly in your face and mocking you. people think the ship is toxic because their player experience w komaeda is toxic that’s it 😭 the malice you’re seeking isn’t there. no hate to you or the OG asker ofc but this is a very niche problem in current year to be so haunted by… kmhn isn’t going anywhere trust me

Anon with all due respect, one part of it it is people who have had a bad experience with komaeda or don't understand him, one part of it is people being homophobic, and the biggest part that's more common in this day and age is undermining Komahina due to shipping wars. Just because it's not a major thing there are still people who exist who think and say things against it. There are still people who misunderstand it or deny it for any of those reasons. I feel like you're denying the fact that these are collective issues that happen that result in the same conclusion that's misunderstanding the text. The text is something I care about dearly and I was asked about it. Komahina isn't going anywhere just as the people who perceive fiction differently aren't going anywhere. Whether or not you see these instances as a major issue that hinders the entirety of being able to enjoy the ship itself easily or not these people who misunderstand it do exist as long as the text does. That's just the nature of quite literally Everything SUBJECTIVE. As long as people exist who can interpret it in a way that misunderstands the text, have beliefs against the core aspects of the concept, and have interpretations that impact their views due to preferences there will be instances where it's frustrating for people like me. You can say it's a nothing issue all you want but that doesn't mean it will ever stop happening just as people like me won't ever stop loving it. You're coming into MY HOUSE and MOCKINGLY claiming that it really isn't such a big deal when this whole blog is about my special interests, of course I'm passionate about these instances that are frustrating. Not only that but I was ASKED about it, ASKED. I'm allowed to complain about people who frustrate me when they misunderstand or deny the text that I love regardless if it makes it physically impossible to enjoy it.

Just because I can enjoy my apples doesn't mean I can't complain about the people who are hating on my fruits, even if they can't force my fruit to rot I can still feel frustrated at them for not getting it like I do, denying it's existence, or simply hating on it. You're coming into my garden where the other gardeners are having a shared emotion of frustration. Like, that maybe a silly example but does that get the point across enough for you? You're coming into the territory of people who care and probably see it more because it's such a big thing in our lives. Like, Yeah, I know they can't make my fruit rot, that doesn't mean I can't express discontent over those who don't get it, misunderstand, or most of all are outwardly hating on what I love. By your definition of Niche this is literally the corner of that niche, we are the ones who still see it sometimes because that's how invested we are. Again, it's subjective, we're allowed to express disagreement and discontent with what those people say. And again, this is about one of my SPECIAL INTERESTS, Literal definition that makes it hard for me to comprehend how people see something that is so special to me in such a different and even negative way is hard for me to comprehend sometimes. I'll express that emotion caused by that, and proven by it being an ask I'm not alone in, as much as I want. I'm not harming anybody when I express my emotions between people who agree.

You say you have no malice and I'm sure you may have not intended it that way but you came up to the people who care and said in a mocking tone, "it's not that big of a deal why even care, the only thing that happens in 2024 is people misunderstanding them due to their writing roles," Like, seriously? How rude of you Honestly. And the cherry on top that's the worst of all, in the process you display that you misunderstand their characters. Nagito is just an annoying mocking antagonist to you? Are you SERIOUS? Hajime is half of a player surrogate but you're making the wrong conclusion about it, he's meant to be relatable but he isn't a complete self insert. We're meant to be able to put ourselves in his shoes and understand his relatable experiences, he's not a complete player surrogate though? You're saying people say it's toxic because, "We are Hinata and Komaeda is the mocking annoyance to us," WHAT??????? Before you try to say something like this again go understand their characters better by, perhaps, quite literally READING MY ANALYTICAL POSTS??? I'm certain they'd be helpful because you clearly need them, I'm not writing an entire essay right here and now just so You can understand them I make them for myself and answer questions I want to. If you have questions that you can word in a more respectful tone I can help you understand that way too.

I would have tried to make my words a little kinder but the way you come up to MY Blog with your false claims, misunderstandings, and disrespectful tone pisses me off. You went anonymous not because you might be a bit embarrassed about your interests like most of the questions I get, no, you went anonymous because you didn't want yourself to be known because you Know you were being Blunt with your Disrespectful tone. You have the luxury of the fact you said this anonymous, and I have the luxury of being as blunt and uncaring about your feelings with my response as I want. Kindly, once again, do more research on these characters and develop more media literacy before sending me something in such an inconsiderate tone again.