#for who? i dont ever know
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beardyyy
#art#hibernian#digital painting#painting#portrait#original character#oc#succession oc#tomshiv baby#ok Now its artfight time i just needed to get some sort of image of what his beard would look like out there#for who? i dont ever know#hibs.....................................................#he only lets this happen when he hasnt seen shiv for months#his parents do NOT like him anything other than clean shaven but hibs rarely (consciously) cares about what his dad thinks#so if hes exiled to tomlandia aka shiv does not want to see him at all then beard
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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self-indulgent sukuna sheet
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#jjk sukuna#jjk spoilers#suku!megu is old news but ill tag it spoilers to be safe ghdfgk#anyway dont look at me >:/ stop it >:/#this started out so innocently in my defense . i saw some1 wearing that cash 4 souls hoodie in public MONTHS ago#and i immediately wanted sukuna in it#but then i got 2 thinking abt how i havent drawn a sukuna sketchsheet like ever and then i got to thinking how ive only drawn 1 suku!megu..#which is tragic by the way i cant believe ive only drawn him one other time smh im so behind on my quota :(((#drawing him sneering is SO fun gsdkgjsdfh i love how expressive sukuna makes megumi#anyway stop looking at me STOP IT i know what i did i know what ive done you're welcome#dedicated to the fakers in the gc who keep telling me theyre 'not sukuna fans' over their raucous barking :/// ok guys
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AND BUMBLEBEE !!!!!!!!
#transformers#transformers one#transformers fanart#bumblebee#i think hes so cute#i love his puppy ears#he was so annoying and everyone hated him so much it was so funny#i watched this with friends and everytime he was on screen i would point and go “hes literally me��#as someone who has literally never consumed any transformers content ever in my life i reccomend seeing the movie#its super good and funny#u dont need to know anything about transformers too#its literally the origin movie#and its so funny#bumblebee my beloved#ur so small and everyones so mean to u
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the captured! quest was so funny that i actually drew multiple things at once
#dragon age#dragon age fanart#surana#warden surana#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#zevwarden#zevran arainai#grey warden#dao#da: origins#so many beautiful choices made in this quest#like why did they strip us down#that guard folded to the most casual insinuation ever#i didnt even know i was flirting until i did#sorry he had to get ice blasted. and punched to death#then the looney toons series of events that follow#dont mind me officer#just a short regular human warrior who happens to have the same distinctive face tattoo as that fugitive grey warden you just captured!#itseart
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i love normal guys doomed by the narrative
#either that or hilariously dysfunctional or both#tf one#orion pax#d 16#megop#megatron#optimus prime#my art#saw one post pointing out in the trailer that a like5 frame shot of megatrons cannon that was snuck between their mahoushoujo type transfor#mations and like.messed up deeply messed up u see how goofy best friends orion and megsy are theyre just silly guys but in every telling of#their story they always end up enemies ok like in a meta multiverse hopping way think about it.like oh my god prewar tfp megop was already j#juicy and earthspark divorced-remarried megop is like.RGHFH tf one is going to destroy me bc this is what they had Before do u get me#before the war before they fell apart before friends became enemies and hands were stained before the beginning of the end im so so normal#like ok.this silly tight goofy buddy dynamic thats shown in tf one so far is.is what they had before. its what they could have kept if only#if only things turned out differently. but in every world optimus prime and megatron end up leading opposite sides of the bloodiest war ever#ok.its a universal fact and everyone who knows any transformers knows this BUT THE CHARACTERS DONT THEYRE POWERLESS TO PREVENT IT#ill clean up these tags in the morning but like im so.so normal about fictional robot guys#anyway i was intending to draw a background for this but i got lazy and also spent too long on the hands!!!!so whatever
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thinking again about how much trust he had to have in Laios to recommend his own daughter in case he dies
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#chilaios#WHATEVRR#like#We see from his little nightmare snippet that his greatest fear is losing his kids#And we also know how much trauma he has around the dungeons and specifically other adventurers#How he basically lives in fight or flight mode and is constantly thinking of the worst case scenario#How unwilling he is to trust anyone or show vulnerability to anyone#And he recommended his daughter to Laios#Bc even though his years of knowing Laios means he sees him as reckless and oaf-like and maybe insane#His years of knowing Laios also mean he knows hes a good person who he can trust#And who he (secretly) genuinely cares about and sees as a close friend#So much so that he’d trust him with the lives of his kids#Though simultaneously i dont think he’d ever allow him to hold a baby
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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yeah alright ima be that asshole cuz i dont see anyone else doing it
block this person fr this is literally them celebrating trump if you guys cannot put that together (which im not judging if you couldnt tell thats what this was, but i wanna make it clear if you were in the likes and didnt realize) imagine being this fucking cringe where people can see it lmfao
if you dont recognize them theyre doin that disaster twins comic about leo coming back from the dead. block em.
this actually deserves to be shamed. we dont fuckin sit by and accept that shit shame em.
people are gonna start feeling too proud of this DONT LET THEM BE.
#but also this is just... the cringiest art ive ever seen in my life LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#yeah man. the teenage mutant ninja turtles are known us citizens who vote ??? HELLO????#you freak#i dont care if you guys think im reaching im seeing TOOOO MANY AMENS IN THEIR SHIT#like i dont know if id say its SUBTLE but thats what it is
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professor layton beam GO !
+ a gif of them talking !!! the gif messes up a bit but idk how to fix it and stuff so. bleh
#ace attorney#professor layton#apollo justice#trucy wright#klavier gavin#THIS WAS REALLY FUN i loveeee drawing in the PL style so much!!!!!#i want to do more!!!! i really want to try and do athena!!! and maybe simon and some of the tgaa guys!!!!!#will i ever actually do them? who knows. i dont even know. but i Want to#doing this i realised how funny the PL style proportions are .. they got funny legs lol#1k notes WHAT thank u#2k sob sob sniff
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happy pride to all queer children of immigrants
patreon
#muertodraws#queer art#queer comic#lgbtq#pride#trans artist#qtpoc#trans art#transgender#transmasc#mlm#if youre a queer child of immigrants you deserve free lifelong therapy#this comic was originally going to be a “i feel like a freak” cuz im trans and people dont know what to do with me#and then it turned into like. oh god this experience is compounded by your complicted relationship to uhh well#being mexican and a child of immigrants#i was originally going to add a quote from a jose marti poem but idk i didnt want this to get too long#i think if i did that i would prolly attract the attention of latine purists and nationalists lmfaooo#i already have people who dont even believe im mexican much less a child of immigrants much less a man#the most common hate i get now is that im a confused white woman gringa who isnt latin american#besides the transphobia im just like. have you ever heard of a diaspora#anyway#hope someone enjoys this
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"What will you do without new shows" I haven't watched a mainstream television show as it released in years. I'm catching up on shows my parents liked in the 90s. I'm listening to fiction podcasts with 5 fans. I'm playing a video game the creators want you to pirate. I'm watching a minecraft roleplay. I may not know what I'm gonna do but I'm sure as hell not gonna be a fuckin scab babygirl.
#wga strike#sag aftra#sag aftra strike#podcasts#don't be a scab#drift speaks#I know it's more complicated than this and I am sympathetic toward folks who dont consume media in the manner I do#this is half for the internet funnies#also the media implied is west wing/mash; disco elysium#all minecraft roleplays and like every fiction podcast ever but especially#wolf 359#listen to wolf 359
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Could you draw Mikey using his brothers as a jungle gym? They are all surfaces for his perching and climbing
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the Mikey Perching On Leo Chronicles
#because hes the only one who doesn't tell him to get off ever lmao#i loved this prompt but i dont know if this count as jungle gym ...#hes like cat. amazing#ALSO FORGOR TO TELL BUT YALL .PLEASE DONT LEAVE MORE PROMPTS IM NOT TAKING ANYMORE !!!GOT ENOUGH!!!#tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt mikey#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt leo#tmnt leonardo#my art#doodles
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Posting those wips in case I never finish them ~
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#hazbin rosie#alastor#radiorose#qpr radiorose#sketch#digital art#autodesk sketchbook#I havent drawn radiorose in a long time damn that feels good#I love them probably as much as they love each other#will I ever get tired of drawing them singing and dancing? who knows#also seriously please stop dming me to ask me if it's platonic radiorose or not I legit dont care#art is supposed to be experienced if it's romantic for you then its romantic if its not then its not
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(chanting) KIRBY KIRBY KIRBY KIRBY !!!!
#blah blah blah#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt 40th anniversary#for the people who dont know kirby he was the first ever 'fifth turtle'#he never went passed the concept art stage and eventually Venus was made to fill the roll isnstead#I LOVE KIRBY.....
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