#for when you…eat babies?

[very-normal-userboxes]

[chalkrub]

autumnal chill....featuring the girl

[scarybabe]

dial 999 it’s a good time

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[yuwuta]

yuuta is the boyfriend BAWLING when he has to drop you off at the airport. it doesn’t really matter how long you’ll be gone, he will be crying, and he’s gonna cry just as hard when he picks you up again too. but that’s not surprising, neither is saying that satoru smothers you in affection and soft gazes but waits until you’re gone and he’s back home to let the tears out. the real gag is that toji is also crying. it doesn’t happen when he drops you off, or when he gets home, and honestly he’s fine for the first few days—crabbier than usual, slower than usual, groggier than usual—but, fine. it’s somewhere around the third or fourth day of your absence that he finds himself crying, unintentionally. he feels the tears on his lips before he realizes they’re falling from his eyes, and there’s a moment of confusion and then a soft laughter of disbelief before he lets the rest of them fall. he doesn’t really know why he’s crying even while he’s crying. he doesn’t sob or make noise or smush his head into a pillow, but when he gets up to wipe his face, he’s confronted with his reflection in the mirror and that’s when it hits him: he’s sad. if you’d asked toji, he’d say he hasn’t experienced true sadness before that moment. despite all the shitty things in his life, he held a sort of neutral, it is what is attitude about it all—but that’s not the case with you. toji’s sad because he misses you and it’s probably the first time in his life he cries because he can Feel something is missing inside of him

[jkvjimin]

TAEHYUNG, NAMJOON & JUNGKOOK + memories (2014-2021) (cr. dwellingsouls, 0613data, namuspromised)

happy birthday, sky! @jung-koook 💟

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 223

Clockwork is Chronos and Kronos. He is time, sometimes split into many aspects but one all the same. Normally it’s not an issue, as at the end of any of the aspects they simply return to him, as the main body. It’s almost like a hivemind, though not quite that either. Honestly he’s not been able to explain it to anyone else, as it’s such an entwined thing with his being. 

Once again, normally there is no issue with it. However, instincts can bleed over, which apparently er, happened at some point. He’ll have to apologize to his aspect’s children for the misunderstanding when he gets the chance. 

He might have forgotten while dealing with other things, meaning he never explained it to that timeline’s children. Oh well, he’s sure nothing will come from it- he’s quite busy caring for his little ghostling who is turning out to be just like him, albeit with Space instead of Time, after all…

[naffeclipse]

I've been musing over a few thoughts inspired by this ask about a mafia-ish style of Apex Polarity without it being too close to Pearl Eye, and after watching a few videos of Orcas hunting their prey (which included dolphins), landed on a sort of Mafia inspired Apex Polarity AU

Also not to add another Y/N to Orclipse's growing collection but this Y/N is a white-beaked dolphin. Look! They're so beautiful!

Sirens are cunning, brutal, and take everything with teeth and claws. The strongest kill and maim at a whim. As a siren who's not particularly strong, though incredibly agile, with a tail streamlined and dark gray with white patches, fins curved and mostly black, you're somewhere at the bottom. You're doing your best to survive and avoid trouble. You pick your battles and you pick your escapes, and most importantly, you stay alive.

But then you do something really stupid: you venture where you shouldn't have.

You don't usually swim so far up north but you're hungry, and the thought of a few tasty squids distracts you from the silent waters and vast, blue emptiness. You realize a bit too late that you're not the only one hunting.

You catch the first orca siren in the distance as a dark figure, and then another. Two who immediately cut through the water, charging straight for you like shadows. Though you turn tail and bolt, you quickly spot them in the corner of your vision. They easily keep pace, their size and strength overwhelming as they flank you on both sides, wide grins flashing their deadly teeth. You can hardly look at the mismatched color of their eyes as you dodge and weave, diving down only to be cut off by one with midnight blue colors at the tip of his flukes, and shooting off to the left just to almost be snatched by the black-bone claws of a siren with bright yellow fins framing his head.

They're toying with you. You know that for a fact in how they just barely keep back, corraling you onwards, draining your already spent energy, and picking at your panicking pulse. You have no choice but to avoid the edges of their jaws and the tips of their talons, and swim in the direction they want.

You near a field of ice floes floating on the water, and though you cut into the jagged structures dipping into the sea, the orca sirens never lose you. A desperate need for air pushes you onward. One small drop of hope still burns in your chest. Despite the aching of your muscles, you steal a gulp of oxygen and dip back down once more, charging away—

Only to run smack into a third orca siren.

This one grabs you, his burning red and orange colors filling your vision. The other two orcas join to help their kin keep you in place long enough for you to truly regret ever venturing here. Between the three of what you can only assume are brothers, hands hooked over you shoulders, claws clutching your wrists, and palms pressing into your hips, you're a fish caught in a net.

You brace for a voilent end. It never arrives. Instead of digging into your sweet meat, the sirens offer you a deal. The tips of sharp fingertips trace your jawline and the soft inside of your arms and down your slick tail while they explain.

You keep watch for human ships and report back when they're getting close, and in exchange, you get the best food you can imagine, the entire Arctic Ocean to swim, and anything else you'd like. The best benefit? You're under their protection. Of course, they expect utter loyalty from you. You are no one else's. Failure to devote yourself to this work and the brothers would mean a grisly fate, but hey, you're nothing if not eager to not be torn apart. So you agree.

You have a few questions about this whole arrangement, struggling to understand why they, powerful orca sirens, bother with a smaller fish like you when they could rip you limb from limb and be done. What's with the human ships? Why task you to this? Are you just fodder so they can keep their fins nice and unscabbed? They reassure you that they'll explain in due time (the sunny one booping your nose, much to your chagrin), but for now, all you know to know is that the human ships are a problem, and you are their solution for it. You've never really encountered humans before, but they've never really encountered sirens, or so you thought.

The burning red one lets you go, but you don't slip away too far before he tugs on your flukes and tells you to follow him. It's not a request. The darker blue one leaves for a moment, jetting away as the other two guide you to a nice resting place on an icy shore. They introduce themselves, and then their brother reappears with a squid in hand, half dead, and an insistence that you eat—they could tell during the chase that you didn't have all your energy.

And that's how you unwittingly join a very powerful pod of orca brothers who may or may not be teasing and taunting you simultaneously.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hello Stranger. Whom I have never met.

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

[gojoest]

pregnancy freak satoru not letting you lift a finger let alone carry stuff, be it your purse even, bc you are with his child now and you are to sit back and let him take care of everything. the way he is so overprotective is very endearing really but gets a bit out of hand at some point when he offers to hand feed you during mealtimes so you don’t have to bother with the utensils. you want to teach him a lesson, hoping he’d read the room and stop treating you like you’re on your deathbed—you refuse to hold his cock, saying it’s too heavy. but instead you give him a boner and an ego boost. now he holds it for you whenever you suck him off….

[silentwalrus1]

the Benevolent Dictator/Utopian Fascism Universal Fix-It is a super popular fantasy all over, not just on ao3, but it’s in fanfiction that i’ve most commonly encountered the rather hilarious variety which

A) does not seem to realize it’s building a dictatorial fascist state as their glorious utopia

B) nonetheless expends near-constant screentime to trying to convince specifically the audience that no no, here’s why THIS authoritarianism is good really!

which is not a difficult contradiction to parse, given overall fandom desires. Of course you want your blorbo to live in a world that caters to them, and of COURSE any character that has hurt your blorbo SHOULD suffer state-sanctioned torture and capital punishment. In this essay, i will demonstrate that thus there is no need for fic authors to build out all these fantasy monarchies and galactic empires with all their tiresome complex social problems, they just need to make their fic a modern coffeeshop au set in Saudi Arabia -

[muffinlance]

Writing Status:

Fox's Tongue and Kirin's Bone: next chapter FINALLY done and posted to Patreon, that took forever, no help my glasses that turned out to have manufacturing defects no wonder it hurt to look at computer screens so much

Dark Night in Ba Sing Se: writing! started! First chapter is coming along nicely, RIP Zuko, and especially RIP Zuko's guard hat. Going to try and get this one up in the next week or so? The weather is lovely and there is no joy quite like picking strawberries and then bringing them to your children's splash pad for om-nomming with said children while your feet go kicky-kick in cool water, so no promises

[shivunin]

the fact that you start the Tabris origin by literally stepping into your mother's shoes. the fact that what you get is a wedding outfit and your mother's worn boots, kept carefully intact for years, tucked away for this exact moment. the fact that you then immediately take the path she never could, leaving behind the alienage and the wedding and following Duncan (who would have recruited Adaia first, if not for baby!Tabris) to what ought to have been death.

And Then!! instead of fighting and falling as she did, cheating death and becoming the fighter she always intended you to be instead??? Reliving and simultaneously subverting the story of her life??

[nemesisfall]

obligatory pokemon au time!!

[padawansuggest]

Anakin: *taking a call from Space CERN or some shit asking him to help them fix a machine and a hard equation* -listen, I’m sorry, I can’t actually travel all the way out to SPERN (Space CERN) right now, my grandkids are teething and my daughter’s husband is in over his head, I found him crying and panic eating cake last night-

SPERN employee: No, Master Skywalker-

Anakin: *flinches, shields going up because he doesn’t want the kiddo on his shoulder to feel it* Please, call me Jedi, I don’t like that term.

SPERN employee: *through gritted teeth* Jedi Skywalker, I ask you; do you know the purpose of the machine you are helping us fix?

Anakin: I don’t know; trying to find god or something?

SPREN employee: The Higgs Boson is what we call it; but it’s essentially a way to detect the force through gravitational waves-

Anakin: Yeah, that seems about right.

SPERN employee: -and the machine is constantly tracking you. Like a constant lock on your location. It’s- we would like you to come in and do some tests, is all.

Anakin: *sighing to the force for making him deal with this AND teething twins at the same time, for the second time, even* And as I have said, I don’t really have the time to travel to your planet. Now, do you need any other assistance with recalibration?

SPERN employee: -_- no. Thank you for your time, Jedi Skywalker.

[heavensincarnate1111]

WRATH OF THE TRIPLE GODDESS DROPS IN A MONTH IM SO PUMPEDDD