#for those who really don't care about my chit chat

[honeyflower-bellybower]

[ooffies]

Brushing their hair!

author's note: hi everyone! It's been awhile since I last wrote but I've been itching to post/write again. This has been sitting in my drafts for like a four months so don't mind if it's a bit rough. I hope you enjoy!!! :)

Characters: Leona & Jamil

Warning: None!

Jamil Viper:

Jamil’s long, silky hair was always such a treat to brush. Sure, it takes a very long time to work through but he enjoys these rare chances to relax. You enjoyed it as well, perhaps even more! Finding any excuse to allow your boyfriend to take a break.

If you’re not brushing his hair first thing in the morning, more likely than not all the tangles will already have been brushed out. During the day he is often busy scampering from place to place, either housewarden duties or student activities. So, this activity is often reserved for the end of the day, allowing you both to unwind from the stress from the day.

This activity is often spent in a comfortable silence. Jamil’s eyes closed, muscles relaxed and sitting cross-legged on his bed. He simply enjoys your company, the feelings of your fingers and the brush running through his hair. In an almost sleep-like state but never actually falling asleep. Causal small talk isn’t unwelcome though, he enjoys hearing the little details about your day, recent gossip or whatever stupid shenanigans the headmage put you up to. But he often doesn’t talk much about his day unless asked, preferring to be the listener since you are the most interesting thing to him.

As much as it was a treat, brushing Jamil’s hair was a task you had to be meticulous about. Well… It was more like you wanted to be meticulous about it. Making sure to gently brush through every long strand with utmost care and precision. And once you were done, he’d lay his head on your lap as you ran your fingers through it and braiding it as you please

Brushing hair is a mutual form of affection with him! Although he never outright asks to do it, he will always do it when you ask him. Or if he sees you have a tangle, he’ll just grab the brush without a word and get to work. But styling your hair is his favorite! For whatever type of hair texture you have, Jamil has learned to work with it. Memorizing all different braids, twists and other things you enjoy having done to your hair.

Leona Kingscholar:

More often than not, this man has tangles in his hair, despite it mostly looking flawless on the outside. Just lift up a few layers of his thick hair and you’ll find yourself a tangle or two. He enjoys the pampering of getting his hair brushed by you. He will complain if you brush too hard but he’s never too serious about it.

You can brush his hair whenever really. While hanging out in his room or the gardens, helping him put it up for spell drive practice, you kinda have free reign over it. But he will only ever let you style it to your heart’s content when you're in private. Sure, throw it up into the occasional ponytail or redo his braids in-between classes but pigtails and all those cute clips you have are only to be put on in either of your rooms, far, far away from the public eye. He’ll surely complain about how stupid and childish pigtails look on him but will he stop you? No, he won’t. Cause you're his beloved partner and you're giving him affection. It’s your partner privileges to play with his hair as you please! Just make sure to give him a little extra smooch or two while at it if you want less complaining on his end.

If he’s not napping while you're brushing his hair, you two are chatting away. He prefers listening to you talk but he’ll still be willing to tell you more about his day as well. This chit chat can range from basic chatter to discussing future plans and dreams. Or maybe it’ll take the direction of something nostalgic like childhood stories or something silly like the stupid prick who kept beating him on an online chess website. Whatever it is, he’ll never miss the chance to talk with you!

© ooffies 

Please do not repost or translate my work without permission and credit. Thank you!

Other links:

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[bridgetoesoteria]

💌💟Realistically...What would they write in a love letter to you?

Surpriseee bish! Here is my double post as puh-romised. Its spring break, I aced my midterm, I had a nice lil chit chat with my crush where I high key let on to having feelings . *ahem* Now I wanna smoke and pull cards with my internet besties <3

So, I don't like those mushy-gushy readings that tell you the most ideal outcome, not the most realistic outcome. I am hoping to channel an authentic "letter," from the person you are here for.

Options are left to right. I hope it resonates 🥰

Pile 1

4-card spread: Page of Swords, Girl w/ Violin, Strength, The Sun. BOTD: 3 of Swords

I just want to see you happy. I hope you know that. I miss the feeling of you holding me. I think about all the times, I got to hold your hands in mine. I think you are amazing and angelic. If I ever seem difficult, or like I am pushing you away, its just because I don't want to hurt you even worse. You're the whole package. You can shine with or without me.

If there is still bad blood, I will make it right. At least that's what I think about doing. All the time. Can I step up? Can I really have my happy ending; The car, the house, the family, building a life together. I need to get over my cold feet, because the only person I see is you.

P.S.

I love your eyes. I love how much hope I feel when I look into them. I love your hair, especially the length/thickness. I love how balanced you are, and how you can consider different points of view. It has taught me to be more compassionate. It has taught me to care about someone other than myself. You show me that I can get over my demons. We could be a power couple.

(If you have a "butt chin," your person loves this too lol)

Pile 2

4-card spread: 8 of Swords, 9 of Swords(R), 9 of Wands, The Star. BOTD: The Emperor

This person is definitely very attracted to you, but we are here for a love letter, mkay? Not a sext.

I don't know why you are acting like you don't want me anymore. You better not be giving away my ____ to anyone else. I want to be with you. I consider us to be a couple, no matter what happens. If you question where my head is at, my loyalty is with you. I don't want to see you with anyone else. I hate thinking about you being out there, living like you're single. I think about us having kids, animals, a family life. (If you already have kids they want to keep the family together).

I am working on my temptations. I know I need to be more responsible and I am willing to do that. I want to try having self-control. If that means cutting other people off, or waiting until you are comfortable being physical, I will do that. I respect your boundaries. You have every right to have them. I know you are just trying to love yourself. You should always stand your ground...even with me.

P.S.

You have a beautiful heart. You are so nurturing. You keep everything flowing. You completely fulfill me. You are more than enough. You definitely know what you are doing. I wouldn't have taken you for a "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" type.

Right now, you probably are focusing on yourself. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for. After pouring into everyone else so much, I hope you will start pouring into you now. I hope you will be receptive to all the good things you deserve.

Pile 3

4-card spread: Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, Page of Cups, The Empress. BOTD: Justice

I can't figure you out. And its...amazing! It keeps everything so fresh. Maybe you don't feel like you are being mysterious but you are. I want to know what goes on "behind-the scene." I don't mean that in a pervy way. I mean, I want to know who you are, where you come from, what is currently going on in your life. I want to make the cut. Do you ever think about what your favorite diamond cut is? 💎

(Where ever your connection is, move up a step. This is not a literal proposal for everyone)

I want us to be on track. If I have to apologize, I will do that. I want to finally start something new. I want to make you feel like the king/queen that you are. I want us to be happy together. Especially if we are expecting 🤰

P.S.

Can I just brag on you really quick? I love your face shape. I love when we lock eyes. I love how you style your hair, even if I have never said so aloud. Even if I tease you about it sometimes. Its cute and so you. Everyone says we (would) go well together, and I have to agree. We could be our town's MGK and Megan Fox 🤣🤣

On a more serious point, you make me want to do better. Internally, I always feel challenged by you. I have my old beliefs, and then there's you. You make me want to throw out all the BS I believe about myself and start valuing myself more. I see how magical life can be, because I see how many miracles happen when we are together. I know I can do better.

Pile 4 4-card spread: 8 of Wands, 10 of Wands, The Emperor, 8 of Swords. BOTD: Ace of Swords.

(Your person could actually be the type to spill their feelings over texts or in the notes section of their phone)

I think about saying this all the time. I build up the courage to start typing, but I can never hit send. I just feel this lump in my throat. I'm a man! (or they are just someone who suppresses their emotions). I shouldn't have all these feelings. I feel overwhelmed by my attraction, my thoughts, my unexpressed feelings.

That's kind of what I grew up with. It was normal. People call it "traditional." I always thought (one of their parents, but I am really getting mom) could do better. Why are you still with them? I don't want that to be you. I don't want that to be our story. You always carry yourself well. I'm proud to be with you. I know you're a catch. I know you are the full package. I can't let you go. Please reconsider. I want to be with you.

P.S.

I hope you're getting rest. Don't lose sleep over me. Which is hypocritical, because I stay up thinking about you. Don't be scared...but I may have watched you sleep. I like how peaceful you look. I feel like I have privacy to fully process my emotions. I look at your face and I think about all the possibilities. It makes me nervous. If I have made a proposal of some kind, maybe to reconcile, I hope you sleep on it before you make a decision.

Pile 5 4-card spread: King of Cups, 4 of Swords, 9 of Wands, The Sun. BOTD: 8 of Swords

I think a lot of you are asking about a feminine energy, but flip the roles if needed. You could be the feminine energy being described, so maybe they want you to know you are "seen". It just started raining, so that makes me feel like this person is definitely more on the feminine side, or in touch with their emotions. You could both be young, or they're younger, or someone has a baby face.

I think about you all the time. Even when I am sad. I don't know if you know how much I struggle. My mental health isn't always in the best place. But you take my mind off of everything. I love when you look deep in thought. I come up with all these random ideas about what you could be thinking of. If you are away getting better, overcoming an ED, I hope you are being strong. I look forward to seeing you again.

You make me so happy. I miss being playful and messing with you. I could see us having babies. I think I would be a great mom/dad. But I know that's daydreaming and wishful thinking. I don't always understand your moods or what you want from me. Could you make it clear without it becoming an argument. I don't want to make you upset.

P.S.

You are soo pretty. I think your haircut really compliments your face. I love your side profile too. You are so smart. You know so much about the world around you or you are always willing to learn. I am impressed by your writing and/or creativity. I love everything about you. If I were an artist, I would make a portrait of you. You would be my muse. I just want you to know how special you are. You are 1 of 1 forreal. I am so grateful to have ever met you. You bring so much joy to my life.

Whew. GD! That was a lot lol. This took me two days. I am going to relax and enjoy the start of Spring Break. Whoop whoop 🙌

And don't laugh at me...but I just discovered archives so I might stop updating my masterlist, since you can find all my readings there too.

Lastly, I am also doing personals if you have not heard! Take a gander.

~ K

[bellesdreamyprofile]

sad days with y/n - 1970´s elvis

You've never experienced long-term happiness before. You've had great days that even turned into happy, delightful weeks - which you were thankful for as you were finally able to spend your energy on the people you loved. But when those happy days turned into sudden pits of endless sorrow, you felt guilty and as powerless as ever.

Why did you feel like this? You thought of a necklace and the love of your life bought it for you without batting an eye. Business class, shoes, hair, makeup and even an entire room with every book that your little heart desired.

Why did you feel like this?

You sighed as you gazed out of the large window, shiny Las Vegas lights blinked every now and then. People's chatter mixed with loud thoughts running in your head. You couldn't even concentrate on what the wives were saying, let alone at the grand entrance Elvis made in the room after another one of his magnificent shows.

"—and Joe kept complaining at the pair of shoes I bought the week before we departed for Vegas.", Joanie tapped her cigarette on the ashtray. Patty nodded in understanding and lit up her own cigarette.

"Red's been the same.", she rolled her eyes. "Like I haven't given him a son just months ago. That's the excuse I like to use anyways."

The chit chat went on for another hot minute and you couldn't help but sigh.

"How about you y/n? You and Elvis thinking of having a couple?", you blinked at Joanie's words.

"Sorry?"

"I meant if you were thinking of having kids.", if it weren't for your pitiful mood you would've blushed.

"We never talked about it, no.", you shook your head. "Now that he's started performing again a-and with the tours... I wouldn't wanna do it on my own.", you gave a brief explanation. Joanie and Pat exchanged a look, making you frown a little.

"You really think that Elvis would take some time off to stay with you?", she asked with irony laced in her voice.

Your lips parted. "When the baby comes, yes. I'm not expecting him to be 24/7 with me all throughout my pregnancy.", you said honestly.

"Oh, honey.", Patty shook her head and took a sip of her drink. "A man like Elvis Presley would never leave the luxury of a Vegas hotel and the love of thousands of fans for — don't take it personally — for a baby."

At this point your night couldn't take a worse turn. You hadn't been feeling your best and now they were trying to convince you not to have a baby with Elvis. Like the baby would've been neglected by a man like him. It secretly made you wonder if your dreams of Elvis being a wonderful and caring father would ever come true.

"You're telling me that Red didn't take some time off to be with you and your baby?", you raised an eyebrow.

"Honey, he's Elvis' bodyguard. In no universe would he have been by my side.", she said, nodding. Her eyes wandering outside as if she was reliving every single thing she went through. "Giving birth alone, taking care of the baby alone, feeding the baby alone... It's a lonely life."

"For the wife of the Mafia.", Joe added in. "But for the wife of the King..."

"It's even lonelier.", Patty finished off and sighed, her now finished cigarette on the ashtray. "Shame you don't smoke y/n, it's a great stress reliever.", she stood up and dusted off her skirt. "I'll back in a sec.", she exchanged a knowing look with Joanie, who reluctantly stood up. They knew what happened if they left the King's wife all by her lonesome. But they had already screwed up the moment they started talking.

"Yeah, I'll go grab another drink.", Joe offered you a tightlipped smile. "You want anything, y/n?", you shook your head and gazed outside the large window once again. You sighed and gulped as you felt salty tears form in your eyes. You let out a few shaky breaths and then decided to stand up and leave the party. Grabbing your purse and wiping the fallen tears away, a voice interrupted your actions.

"Hey honey.", it was him. It almost made you want to burst out in tears. You turned around and automatically smiled at the pretty face looking back at you.

"Hey my love.", you placed a hand on his cheek and tenderly kissed his lips. "Great show, like always.", you complimented, offering the best smile you could muster. But it seemed like he had already caught up on the glistening tears in your eyes.

"Thank you baby.", he said lowly and placed another kiss on your lips. Elvis gently took hold of your hand. "Let's go somewhere quieter for a moment, yes?", you simply nodded, not understanding why he would leave his own party. Jerry was quick to approach him, but Elvis waved him off.

"I'll come back later.", he justified and led you both in another room. "Go sit on that couch, honey.", you followed his words and sat down on the couch facing the large Vegas window. You sighed once again and that's when you realized he was going to confront you as to why you weren't as socially active as every other wife was.

Or perhaps he was going to compare you to the other girlfriends he had-

"What's the matter with you, lovie?", his finger gently moved your chin in his direction. You sighed, not being able to meet those baby blues. "Mhm? Honey?", another shaky sigh escaped your pink lips.

"C'mon baby, deep breaths for me.", Elvis grasped your hand and squeezed it — that was when everything started crumbling.

"It's been— It's been so hard lately, Elvis.", tears were now rolling down your cheeks as the built up tension was suddenly released. His hand was no longer on yours as your body was now engulfed by his own. How could you have doubted this man?

"I feel— I feel so fucking sad all the time I-I don't know what to do.", you confessed through your sobs. Though Elvis chose to remain silent and let you continue. "Then the girls said— The girls said that if we had a baby... You would leave me to care for it on my own.", that was when your gaze met his. "I can't raise a baby without you, Elvis. I can't.", you buried your face in his chest, desperately seeking for his familiar warmth.

Elvis' hand rubbed up and down your back, bringing you impossibly closer to him. His thoughts brought him reminders of the couple of days where he wasn't able to check up on you as he usually would. He was aware he was your comfort person and yet he chose to prioritize his career over your wellbeing. Elvis knew you would never resent him for that — you were his very own cheerleader. Yet he couldn't help but feel like he let you down — to the point of little, glistening tears rolling down your usual rosy cheeks.

And those women letting you believe he wouldn't be there for you when your little bundle of joy would eventually come along? They were going to pay. But there was a warm, fuzzy feeling in his tummy at the mention of you two having a yittle baby of your own. A little baby that would be the perfect mix of you and him. Those women were able to turn something so beautiful into something so fearful to you.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Satnin.", his finger grazed your teary cheeks. "With the new tour and the death threats— I just wanted to keep ya safe—"

You jolted up, giving him a confused look. "Death threats? Elvis!", but his eyes remained in yours, now proud you were finally able to look at him.

"You're telling me you would've been able to handle that information, baby?", Elvis raised an eyebrow and you lowly huffed, muttering a little "no".

"But still. You should've told me. I could've helped.", you justified and wiped a tear away. Elvis still gave you that look.

"Yeah because little miss over here was also open enough to tell me what's going on in her pretty head.", he tapped your temple, making you look down. "Little one, look at me.", another finger brought your chin up once again. "You need to understand that your emotions are in no way too much or not enough to tell me. You'll feel so much better afterwards, don't you?", you nodded and sighed, realizing that all of this could've been avoided with an honest conversation.

"I love you.", Elvis said firmly. "And it hurts seeing my best girl like this.", he placed a tender kiss on your lips, your eyes fluttering shut at his action. "Promise me you'll tell me everything from now on?", he showed you his pinky, making a small grin appear on your lips.

"You're silly.", you said in a light tone, but your words made his heart soar and his lips smile the biggest smile.

"Only for you, honey.", Elvis hooked your pinky with his and brought them closer to his lips, placing a small kiss on top. He suddenly furrowed, remembering a topic he forgot to mention to you. "Y/N?"

You looked his way and softly hummed.

"You do know that those bitches know nothing about you and I, right?"

You complained at the choice of words. "Elvis—"

"When the time comes for us to have a mini us...", he trailed off, mindlessly playing with the rings around your fingers. You fought back a small smile at his anxiety-led actions. "I would take off all the time we need. There ain't no way you're raising our child on your own, honey.", his eyes searched for yours and his honesty touched your heart.

It should be a given for a parent to take care of their child — but with Elvis and the world he has created for his fans, family and friends, it was a little more challenging. That's why you appreciated his words. Though only time will tell.

"Thank you, baby.", you said, letting your finger wander on his jaw. You placed your lips on his and then pulled away, feeling your heart as light as a feather. "I don't know what I would've done without you.", you confessed and he pouted.

"What would I do without you, honey?"

MASTERLIST

[alphabetboyluvr]

HUSH | MYG - ONE

pairing: rockstar!yoongi x female reader | mutual disdain - lovers (but also strangers - lovers? kinda?)

premise: in which you work for your brothers band by day and accidentally anonymously sext his bandmate on the regular by night! whoops !!

wc: 17.5k

for more details, pls see the master list (x)

hush is written in two formats: messaging transcripts and my regular writing style

warnings: we're sexting, straight off the bat!! love that for our hush couple!! allusions to sending nudes, mentions of blueballing lmao, sex toys, general masturbation malarky, mentions of ass play <33, they video call during finales (back camera only!!!), yoongi has a massive cock, like im talking humongous, so BIG (and factually accurate!!) they're switchy aka he tries dom and she's too much of a brat that he folds, he is whiney and needy and obsessed, and she enjoys that! you get to fill in the gaps as if you're really sexting him, lucky you <33 there's also exactly (1) near foot job, a needy jk, (1) banana milk mention, a playfight, miscommunication, a mysterious night that will never be mentioned in conversation. oh yeah and yoongi and you don't realise you're sexting one another ! oops!!!! yoongi is uncircumcised cause ik some people care about that?? just my preference when writing, imagine what u like! no *actual* smut in this one... just... much sexting!

before you read: please read these for a little context on the story - the app (x) and the band (x)

minors dni!!!

New Hush Crush in your Secret Circle! D4m0cl3s

10:43PM

D4m0cl3s: hey, stranger

Cl3m3ntin3: well hello there how are you??

D4m0cl3s: i'm all good. yourself?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah, yeah, im all good just tryna figure out this damn app, lmao

D4m0cl3s: you new around these parts?

Cl3m3ntin3: i am indeed you've taken my secret circle virginity lucky you x

D4m0cl3s: oh shit well, i am honoured i can be your guide to all things hush x

Cl3m3ntin3: oh, i seeeeee an expert, are we? ;)

D4m0cl3s: just realised how tragic it is to be a self-proclaimed dating app expert, so... no not an expert just.... well versed?

Cl3m3ntin3: hahaha sureeee so, tell me, mr hush expert, how do these conversations usually go

D4m0cl3s: okay, 1: not an expert and 2: just general chit chat get an idea of what you're both looking for stuff like that

Cl3m3ntin3: 1: keep telling yourself that, babe and 2: what are you looking for?

D4m0cl3s: 1: calling me babe, already? score. 2: a girl who calls me babe.

Cl3m3ntin3: looks like my work here is done, then ;) seeeeeeya x

D4m0cl3s: no don't go stay i think we'll get along tell me what you're looking for

Cl3m3ntin3: a man who begs for my attention so looks like your work here is done, too ;)

D4m0cl3s: well, aren't we just a match made in heaven?

Cl3m3ntin3: hell* definitely a match made in hell

D4m0cl3s: you a sinner?

Cl3m3ntin3: would you like me to be?

D4m0cl3s: tempting... but no

Cl3m3ntin3: shame maybe we are after different things after all

D4m0cl3s: woaaah, i never said that i was just trying to be a gentleman take things slow be respectful

Cl3m3ntin3: it's anonymous, babe i didn't sign up for hush looking to be wined and dined or to be treated like a lady quite the opposite, actually so you don't need to worry about tarnishing your reputation, or whatever your secrets are safe with me ;)

D4m0cl3s: 1. i couldn't give a shit about my reputation and 2. it's just that people are on this app for different reasons don't wanna assume everyone is after the same thing

Cl3m3ntin3: 1. untouchable, are you? and 2. well, im pretty sure you know what i'm here for and if it's not abundantly obvious: nothing serious. it's late, and i'm bored. what's a girl to do in those kinds of situations? play all alone? boringgg. my cards are on the table, damocles you're up.

D4m0cl3s: untouchable...something like that and fine if you really wanna know i'm not looking for a girl to take home to my mother

Cl3m3ntin3: good mothers don't tend to like me all that much

D4m0cl3s: no?

Cl3m3ntin3: nah fathers on the other hand? fucking love me

D4m0cl3s: and you wonder why the mothers hate you?

Cl3m3ntin3: oh, no im fully aware it's because im the only thing that can get their husbands' perpetually flaccid cocks hard :)

D4m0cl3s: jesus christ you really are built for sin, aren't you?

Cl3m3ntin3: uh-huh :) fancy a dance with the devil?

D4m0cl3s: not tonight but you've got me interested

Cl3m3ntin3: </3 can't believe you're blue balling me

D4m0cl3s: trust me im blue balling myself i've got an early schedule in the morning can't stay up all night entertaining some girl on a fucking app ;)

Cl3m3ntin3: okay 1: ouch, if anyone was doing the entertaining, it would be me and 2: prove it

D4m0cl3s: prove it?

Cl3m3ntin3: uh-huh prove that you're blue balling yourself

D4m0cl3s: again, jesus christ you are something else

Cl3m3ntin3: thank you :D now... proof

D4m0cl3s: say please

Cl3m3ntin3: you want me to get down on my knees, too?

D4m0cl3s: would be appreciated

Cl3m3ntin3: fine

D4m0cl3s: watch your attitude, clementine

Cl3m3ntin3: sighhh hate you for this already >:( pretty please could you show me your cock so i know you're hard and not just lying &lt;;33

D4m0cl3s: see, that wasn't so hard, was it? good girl

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

Cl3m3ntin3: holy shit

D4m0cl3s: i might keep secrets, but i never lie let's talk tomorrow, alright?

Cl3m3ntin3: noted and tomorrow for sure sweet dreams, damocles x

D4m0cl3s: night night, clementine x

[3 Months Later]  KSPO DOME  Seoul, South Korea

♪ // Hush - The Marías

"You'll choke if you're not careful – and how many times do I need to tell you? Put that damn phone away!"

If Park Jimin wasn't so warm in his tone with you—effervescent in his kindness, bubbling over like lightly shaken soda—you'd tell him to kiss your ass.

He stands in the doorway, a pretty smile on his plump lips. There's something about him—his eyes, you think—that subvert all his softness. Makes him quite the menace. If you hadn't been there to witness his high-school bowl cut era, you never would believed it had happened. He's too cool. It transcends his current being. Is effortless. 

In all black, a pair of Chelsea boots soundtrack his arrival no matter where he is. A little scuffed, he's in need of a new pair—but they'll be a post-show bonus treat. From Jimin, to Jimin. Congratulations on a job well done.

With a subtle roll of your eyes, you swallow down the blueberry you'd been holding between your teeth in a dingy backroom of Seoul's KSPO Dome—the venue of choice for The Scouts' final hometown show. The brickwork remains exposed, grey concrete blocks a dull backdrop for the catering tables.

"Sorry mum," you banter, even though you really shouldn't. There's a glint to your eyes beneath the awkward spotlighting that really isn't preferable for the buffet-style display behind you. Fruits, snacks, it's not a bad spread—but it's got nothing on the rider you know The Scouts ask for ahead of every show.

But why shouldn't they? What the boys want, the boys get – and they've worked damn hard to get it.

He nods towards the lanyard around your neck and reminds you of this, then holds up his.

Park Jimin, it reads. Senior Tour Manager.

"Not on the clock, trouble. I'm still your boss."

"And don't I know it," you offer him a smile, still not a huge fan of the dynamic the pair of you portray at work.

You've known Jimin since the tooth fairy was leaving coins under his pillow. It's sorta hard to take him seriously when you've experienced as much life together as you have.

The way he groans when you reach for yet another blueberry is testament to the friendship you share; the kind of found siblings written about in books but rarely found in reality. There's a sanctity there. He's got your back, and he knows you'll always pick up the slack when he needs you to.

For all your difficulties in the short-term, he knows you pull it out of the bag come the time results are needed.

Knocking the blueberry into your mouth with a grin, you use your tongue to toss it to your back teeth. It's a teeny tiny little fruit. You're pretty sure you could swallow it whole without repercussion.

In fact, the reason you were so engrossed in your phone is because you were about to start a discussion with a... friend about something else you could swallow, instead – but you won't tell Jimin that. He'd throw up, probably, and then it'd be your job to clean it up.

"Yeah, yeah," you nod, locking your phone and tucking it into your back pocket. "Sorry boss. Where do you need me?"

He narrows his eyes at your sarcastic use of formalities, but knows when to pick his battles with you. Instead, he knocks his head to the side and heads for the doorway, indicating for you to follow suit.

Just like he knows when to pick his battles with you, you also know when to pick yours with him.

"You've a job that people would likely kill for," he ribs, not really minding all that much. It's downtime between the off-stage rush, so there really isn't all that much to be doing—but you could at least pretend to make it look like you're working your ass off. "But you're too busy on your bloody phone. Head to hair and make-up. The next VCR segment is smaller so I need you in position pronto."

"Sure, sure," you nod like a bobbing head figurine, stealing a handful of blueberries from the catering table and heading on your way.

Jimin watches on with a curious sense of bewilderment. You're the best runner they have, by quite some margin, but also seemingly the one that's least eager to please—and by doing so, they seem to like you even more. It's an odd paradox, but it is one that you use to your advantage. Play a little dumb; wow them all when you continually and quite impressively exceed their expectations. Work smarter, not harder.

It's a work ethic that runs in the family. They shouldn't be surprised by it, not really.

The corridor you head down is flanked by sterile white lights. The only thing that's brighter are the faux smiles of entertainment execs and slimy media men, who are all after their fifteen minutes of favour—because it's not fame they'll get by rubbing shoulders with the boys on stage; it's a boost up. Something to talk big about in board room meetings. 

A humble brag; a subtle flex, that is neither humble nor subtle.

Your lanyard taps against the buckle of your belt as you jog towards the stage. A cute little pat-pat-pat and jingle of keys from your beltloop soundtracks it, which you're thankful for. It covers the heavy breathing.

Just shy of the staircase leading up to the platform, which is almost shaking from the exertion of the performers on it, you hanger left into the room beside the dressing room.

While the dressing room is a dingy, theatrical maximalist's dream, the make-up department has a shell for a room. Bright white lights are overhead, to make sure the boys look amazing—which they always do regardless. Personally, you think this is all overkill. Takes away some of the authenticity. People swoon for The Scouts and the fact they're walking, talking hot messes. When the 'mess' is carefully applied with tiny brushes and kept in place with setting spray, it just doesn't hit the same.

Still, the fans are none the wiser, so who cares? Let them think Jeon Jungkook has flawless skin after an all-night bender.

Annoyingly, he normally does – but that's beyond the point.

"Here she is," Jinyu grins as you walk through the door with a little huff, immediately picking up a setlist by the door to fan your face.

Ethereal as usual, hair pulled back with a claw clip and a grown-out fringe framing her delicate features, Jinyu's mask pulled down to rest beneath her chin. A make-up brush is tucked behind her ear and half a dozen hair grips are biting onto the sleeve of her shirt, ready for the rush that will come with the next VCR break.

At least one of you is, you think.

She always is, though. Best of the bunch, she's the senior make-up artist, and has an example to lead by.

The rest of the make-up artists sit together in the far corner, nattering amongst themselves with far more animation than their hushed tones should really allow for. It's not an uncommon occurrence.

They like to pretend that they don't want anyone to know their business, but you've heard it all.

You could share, in quite some detail, how Jungkook likes to look at his regular make-up artist's lips whenever she's applying balm to his.

Apparently, the tension is 'off the charts', but he's 'too shy to do anything'. Always asks for balm, even when he doesn't need it. Or so she says.

You roll your eyes whenever you hear her brag about it, 'cause you've also heard the conversations that the boys have had behind closed doors. You know that if Jungkook is gonna be after any of the make-up artists, it's Jinyu—but the ring on her fourth finger and the toddler she sometimes brings to work on the quiet days is enough for him to stay away.

The lifestyles lived by The Scouts wouldn't allow for any of them to be playing 'Daddy'—though the girls who've squeezed into their tour bus bunks would probably beg to differ.

It's not just Jungkook who they like to gossip about—although he is the current flavour of the month, ever since he got that bloody lip ring.

In all honesty, you've heard so much shite about all five members that it's a miracle the girls still have jobs.

A new addition to the team since the overwhelming success of the last album run, the record label are keen on The Scouts keeping up their appearances. Gone are the days of sleeping in eyeliner and waking up with panda eyes—now it's carefully placed with precision beneath their tired lashlines, bloodshot eyes still bleary from the night before.

According to the last make-up room rumour mill, Tae is the type to send a late-night text to a handful of girls at once, just to see who bites (of which they all do, of course), and Yoongi is the type to sit silently in the make-up chair, only to make some absurdly unhinged comment as he leaves for the stage.

It's what they're talking about as you and Jinyu exchange glances with comically raised brows and wide eyes.

"Like, the whole time, he must have just been sat there, thinking about it," one of them swoons. "Didn't say a single word, and then just said 'your perfume smells nice, today,' as he was leaving."

The way they giggle makes your skin crawl. It's like they're constantly trying to one-up one another, using the men they work for as tools to do so – and you can't really blame them. As much as you may hate it, it's a man's world, especially in this industry. If you've gotta climb a few greasy poles to reach the top, then more power to those who choose to do so.

"He definitely spent the whole time thinking about it."

"What perfume are you wearing? I wouldn't mind him saying that to me..."

"God, he's such a dream boat."

"Something about him lately is just... ugh, off the charts. We need to stop styling his hair like that. It's too good."

You don't mean to be so judgemental – you've got a pair of eyes. Know exactly why they insist on giggling about their delusions.

Thing is, you can deal with the Jungkook gossip. Tae, Yoongi, Namjoon – whatever.

It's when they start talking about Jin and fail to hide the fact they're doing so that you're reminded of exactly why it grinds your gears so much.

In fact, quite frankly, you've a desire to pick up one of Jinyu's rattail combs and shove it into your ear. Would hope it'd impale your brain. You're not really sure how deep you'd have to go, but it would beat hearing them fawn over your older brother.

You've heard things being said about his hands that no younger sister should ever have to. Quite repulsive, actually.

Instead, you grimace, trying to gain back your breath following your sprint (of which Jimin would call a leisurely pace) up the corridor.

"Why does catering have to be so far from the dressing room?!"

Jinyu watches on with great amusement as you rest your hands on your knees, bending as if you've just run a 10k. Dramatics run in the family, or so it would seem.

"I dunno, babe," Jinyu purrs, her smile present just like it always is, voice a little extra loud to drown out the noise of the witches gathered in the corner. "Why was my favourite runner over in catering in the first place?"

You let your eyes narrow, her teasing grin only serving as a reminder that you really should know better than to keep on going back to the blueberry stash. It's not like you aren't allowed them. They'd all go to waste otherwise, so if anything, you're snacking on behalf of the company.

"You couldda just had them call one of the other runners back," you pout, knowing that it never would have been the case. She likes to make you work a little bit harder than the others, 'cause she knows you feel like you have more to prove.

Jinyu laughs, and passes you some hair grips to hook onto your sleeves for later. "You're the one who said you wanted to establish yourself! What was it you said at the start of these shows?"

You drop down onto the sofa next to her makeup station, tucking your legs up on the seat. The vibration of the music on stage pours through the walls at such a volume you're surprised you can even sustain a conversation.

"I'm gonna show them," Jinyu imitates with far more dramatic flair than you think is really necessary—but it is accurate. "I'll prove to them all that nepotism had nothing to do with me getting hired. Who, me?" She gasps."The baby sister of our very own World Wide Handsome? Hired because my brother pulled some strings? Never!"

"Fuck off," you laugh, tossing one of the sofa pillows towards her—but she catches it with ease because of course she does. Jinyu is everything you could ever aspire to be, hand-eye coordination included. The girls in the corner hush their conversation and begin to take an interest in your conversation. You ignore them, shrugging as you say, "It's not like I have a first-class degree in stage management or anything like that."

Sure, you have the qualifications—but you also aren't stupid. You know that the job is a favour amongst family. The job market these days is non-existent and while being Jin's sibling had afforded you a follower count worthy of an influencer, you need a purpose in life. It's no coincidence that you both showed an interest in the music industry—he's just far better suited to the performance side of it.

It would have been foolish to turn down the opportunity when Jin had mentioned it at a family dinner.

You're low-level, just a runner for now, but it's nice to be somewhere in which people don't give a shit about your famous brother. To most people here, he's a coworker, a colleague.

Outside of work, your entire personality to anyone you first meet is apparently being related to him. In all honestly, it's the same even in a professional capacity. Had started lying on your resume about your name, just so he wasn't the topic of conversation for all of your job interviews.

Remarkably, this is the only job that hasn't cared about him being your brother.

"Whatever you say. That's our cue. Off your arse," Jinyu says, her demeanour switching as the sound of the final chorus begins to simmer down. You don't need to be told twice, getting to your feet and into position beside her. "Can you be my right hand?"

♪ // Only Angel - Harry Styles 

"Sure," you nod, expecting nothing less. It's not much, just putting some hair grips in place while she touches up their stage makeup, and switching out brushes as and when she needs them. Just enough to be helpful without getting in her way.

The girls in the corner follow suit, standing behind their chairs, eager to see the men in all of their sweaty, worn-out glory. They've made no secret of their admiration, which is why Jinyu is such a breath of fresh air. A fair few years older than the boys, she's happily married and doesn't care to swoon over them.

Like a force of nature, The Scouts rumble into the room - lips ajar, chest heaving, hair damp with sweat. 

Jungkook is first, slamming his body down into one of the chairs, in dire need of something other than the piss-warm beer he's got up on stage. Tossing him a bottle of water from the countertop behind you, he catches it with ease. Smirks. Looks at you with all the adrenaline he's stolen from the eyes of the fans that adore him. Legs wide, bottle undone with one hand, there's a challenge to his gaze. Performing is a fuckin' drug to Jeon Jungkook - you just wish he didn't keep such a fucked-out look on that pretty face of his whenever he finishes. 

So yeah, maybe you do get why the girls chitchat in the way that they do. 

The rest of the band follow in, equally trashed, in the best possible way. Taehyung's shirt has miraculously lost all of its buttons, and Namjoon's T-shirt is now slung around his shoulders like a towel. His hair drips with sweat, arms swollen from the exertion of the last few days of shows. 

Behind them, Yoongi strolls with an air of arrogance he carries off ever so well. Indifferent. Just as covered in sweat, but without the entire body exhaustion the other Scouts are displaying. He's too cool for his own good. Doesn't look at you. Looks right through you. Asshole. 

And then finally, presumably because he was too busy flirting with the audience, the Scout Leader himself makes his grand entrance. Plastic cup in hand, he's nursing a Jack and Coke. Doesn't see the point in all this make-up malarky, when he knows he's just gonna sweat it off anyway. Would much rather actually take this time to recharge, even if just for a second. Thought that adding VCR's to shows would allow them more time for that, and is sorely disappointed by the reality of it.

"Fucking hell, has it been raining?" You deadpan when he slinks down into the chair opposite you and Jinyu. "Y'know, you should get some of those sweat-reduction botox injections. Would work wonders."

He looks at you with disdain that clearly tells you to fuck off. He stays silent. Kicks your shin, instead. You kick him right back.

"I swear the pair of you are worse than my two-year-old," Jinyu sighs as she drapes a towel around Jin's shoulders.

"Someone needs to humble him," you shrug.

"Someone needs to fire you," he says right back, not realising that Jinyu had passed you her hair mister, earning himself a spritz of water to the face.

Effective immediately, your hair mister privileges are taken away. Jinyu's pleasant smile looks almost stern as she takes it, putting it down on the dressing table with a thud.

"We've got three minutes," she reminds you.

"Sorry boss," you quip, not wanting her to actually get pissed off at you. There are certain liberties you can take, but you're supposed to be helping her, not a hindrance.

There's subdued energy in the room now that the boys have settled, not wanting to waste their fuel anywhere other than the stage. As you push grips into Jin's hair, ready for hairspray, you watch the room in the mirror view.

Taehyung is on his phone, not paying any attention to what's going on, his makeup artist working silently. Jungkook is patting down his own face with powder while his stylist teases his hair just right.

You look at him for a little too long, his eyes coming to meet yours in the mirror. Despite the pitch-black darkness of his irises, there's a lightness in his gaze—one that has your skin feeling all prickly and hot, eyes darting back down to Jin's hair.

You think you can hear him laughing to himself.

It's confirmed when Jimin waltzes into the room, clipboard in hand and asks, "What's got you giggling, Kook?"

He lies, and says he's thinking about his dog, Bam, just to save you from embarrassment.

You glance back up to where his eyes are already waiting for yours, brows lifted as he smirks. You make vague shapes with your mouth as if you're telling him to 'fuck off,' which only serves to make him laugh again, a little harder this time. He keeps it quiet, shoulders bobbing up and down, his smile magnetic.

It's all in good fun. There's been a running joke for years now that you'll date Jungkook just to piss off Jin.

You already know his make-up artist will twist that moment to her own liking, making up some bullshit about him laughing with her, but it's barely worth your energy.

Beside him, Jimin vies for attention from Yoongi, who looks like he's in need of a good nap. 

There's a sheen to his skin, sweat dripping down his neck thanks to his make-up artists failing to grab him a towel. You call for Jimin's attention, and once you have it, you chuck him one of the spare towels over your shoulder. He tilts his head in confusion, but when you nod towards Yoongi, he understands.

The towel is passed along, a simple 'hm?' from Yoongi to question where it came from. Jimin nods towards you, and Yoongi takes a second to observe what you're doing. You're not looking at him, because quite frankly, he intimidates you.

He never used to.

In fact, you used to get along quite well—but you're vaguely aware of the fact he doesn't approve of nepotism, and knows that the only reason you secured this job is because of Jin.

It makes you feel a little embarrassed. A little ashamed. None of the other boys seem to care, but it puts you on edge with Yoongi. You try extra hard—be extra diligent—with him. He seems to be the one you seek validation from the most, despite him being the one you interact with the least.

In the corner of the room, Taehyung and Namjoon discuss the next song. A change from yesterday's set, they've been switching up songs so that no one really knows what to expect next. Have to keep things fresh. Keep their names trending. Get those streams. Meet industry targets set by suits with no real understanding of what it means to make art.

It's admirable how much they cram into such little time. Masters of their craft, it's an honour to see them work. It's without a doubt that they've earned their success.

You kind of get why Yoongi is hesitant of you. You feel underqualified, as if you haven't worked hard enough to earn the role you've been given—but you have. You have the credentials. Jin opened the door for you, yes, but you're the one who had the key in the first place.

You're distracted by your thoughts when your phone buzzes in your back pocket. The vibration hums just a little bit longer than any of your other app notifications, so you know exactly what it is. Know who it is.

Kind of.

There's a little bit of bashful shame that washes over your features, fearful someone will hear the buzz and recognise its length—not that anyone would notice the soft purr in the back pocket of your jeans, cushioned by your ass. It's just as incognito as the man who's sending you a message is.

Your phone buzzes a few times. Seven, to be precise.

Needy, you think to yourself—but it pleases you. He never fails to disappoint.

Well, rarely. You've been waiting half an hour for a message from him, and it's so bloody typical that it would come through when you're finally busy.

"Positions!" Jimin calls from the corridor, letting the boys know their rest time is up.

Jinyu casts an authoritative eye over the boys, checking to make sure they all look okay before sending them on their way.

"Hair grip," she reminds Jungkook's stylist, who had left a tiny little clip in his fringe. She flusters, embarrassed at missing such a detail, but Jungkook just pulls it from his fringe without much care as he puts his phone back on its wireless charging port.

Namjoon follows suit, reminded that his phone was in his back pocket, tossing it on one of the dressing room tables. Yoongi tucks his phone into a bag by the sofa, and Tae does the same.

They file out in good spirits, hyping one another up for the final part of the show, staff patting their backs and cheering on words of encouragement. It's always bittersweet for them; their final performances are their favourites, but they're also the ones in which they know they'll be saying farewell—and no one likes goodbyes.

You watch with fondness as the stage-cam plays on the TV in the corner of the room. There's something about the five of them together, on stage, surrounded by an ocean of unadulterated love and affection, that feels like watching magic. It's the kind of thing that only happens once in a lifetime. You're thankful you get to witness it in all its glory. You'll probably watch the final few songs from the side of the stage, just to feel even an ounce of what the boys do.

Sinking back into the sofa, the scent of hot, sweaty men clouding the air, you pull your phone from your pocket—and sure enough, you're met with the notifications you've been hoping for.

New Secret from D4m0cl3s D4m0cl3s: late shift tonight, sorry one of the girls on my team made a joke about how tense i seem to be said i need to get laid... i told her she needs to mind her own fucking business but... it also got me thinking about you i finish in an hour give me a reason not to go out and get laid

You smile, as the heat that pricked at your skin when Jungkook caught your eye earlier that evening returns.

Part of you toys with the idea of 'what if it's him?' His phone is face down on its charger, all of his secrets hidden from the world.

Part of you hopes it is, just for the knowledge of it irritating the fuck out of Jin and the girls who are sat in the corner, gossiping about his giggling earlier.

Realistically, you know it's not. It's impossible.

You've been sent enough pictures from your Damocles boy of his hands doing unthinkable things to know it can't be Jungkook. They're free of ink, pristine and pale, a little pink in their tone, and the only clue you have of who the fuck you spend so much time talking to.

"Where are you off to now?!" Jinyu asks as you head for the door, somehow surprised that you're dipping again.

"Catering," you lie, knowing full well you're going to find somewhere private enough to give your Damocles boy exactly what he's after.

"You'll turn into a blueberry," she warns you. You hold back a laugh, and resist the urge to tell her that what you're actually about to turn into is a clementine.

There are half a dozen doors down the corridor, but you slide into the first storage cupboard you come across. It's empty, and there's a lock on it, which is all you really need.

If you'd have stayed in the dressing room, it would have been a tomato you turned into, instead. Your cheeks would flush scarlet red, just like they did when the familiar purr of a Hush notification chimed far too loudly for something that's supposed to be all about keeping secrets.

You'd take a second. Wouldn't want to check your own phone, 'cause then all the girls would know you'd received a message from a hook-up app.

But you're not in the room. Nor is your phone.

And they all hear it regardless.

The girls who gossip pause, wondering if they've all heard the same thing. Jinyu is oblivious, happily married and unaware of what Hush even really is, let alone the vibrate tone.

One, two, three messages ping their way from your phone to his, but you're none the wiser. Haven't got a clue.

It's been three months, and neither one of you has any desire to disclose your identity to the other. You're serving a purpose; fulfilling a need.

Why ruin a good thing?

You aren't 'good', nor opposed to being ruined—but that's neither really here nor there. You've got a system that works, and it would be foolish to change things now.

You return to the dressing room, unaware that your phone isn't the only device within those four walls littered with pictures of your bare chest. In fact, everyone is unaware. It's your own little secret that you don't even realise you're keeping, and one that you intend on taking to the grave.

"No blueberries?" Jinyu asks as you return empty-handed.

"Got distracted," you lie, as you settle back into the sofa, a pleasant air surrounding you. On the screen, the boys are laughing, indulging in the energy of their fans for the final time that evening.

"By?" she presses, curious as to why you're looking all smitten as you watch the screen.

It's got nothing to do with any of them.

Or so you think.

It's actually got a whole lot to do with one of them.

You just don't realise it yet.

And so you simply shrug, and say, "Secret."

"C'mon," Jungkook grins, eyes still swathed by the glow of mobile phone flashlights held up during the encore, even a whole thirty minutes after the show is over. He tugs on your arm, but you remain fixed in place, shaking your head. "We're all going, aren't we?"

The question is addressed to the boys, but he's still looking at you. You wish he wouldn't. Not when he looks like that.

His lips are wet, freshly licked, glistening like his silver lip ring, and his hair is still a little damp around the nape of his neck. There's something about him that looks a lot like magic. It's a wonder you haven't fallen under his spell.

"Uh-huh," Jin nods, tossing back the dregs of his final jack and coke. He's not yet run the rider dry, but it doesn't matter. He'll take the bottle with him, and wherever they end up won't turn them away, for they know he'll buy more – though the bar will likely comp it through. "You can ride with me."

Jungkook's grin widens. He loves it when a plan comes together.

♪ // No Shame - Five Seconds of Summer

"C'mon," Jungkook says again. Is quiet in his tone. Persuasive. "I'll miss you if you're not there."

"Is that supposed to make me feel a certain type of way?" You deadpan. "Try it on one of the makeup girlies. They'll eat it right up."

"Don't wanna try it on one of them," he whines a little, nudging his shoulder against yours. "It's our final show. We're celebrating."

"Your final show," you remind him. "I've got a gig next week. Some European group-"

"Don't care," he says. "You're ours for the night. Come party."

You roll your eyes back so hard it feels like you might have just seen your frontal lobe, but there's a smile on your lips, too. It's nice to feel wanted; appreciated. 

The invite isn't extended to the make-up artists, who are busy packing away, hoping that Jungkook's neediness will shift to them instead. It won't, but they can keep dreaming.

"If I come - and it's a strong if - you're paying," you bargain.

All you really want is to get home as quickly as you possibly can. Had even considered ordering a taxi before the boys had finished their set, but knew Jimin would have a field day with that one. Might even dock your pay just to be a little git.

You've a date with your phone, but the draw of real life is just too tempting.

It's difficult, because you know that you should want to go out, want to celebrate the fact you can actually go out now that the shows are done... but a random dude sending dick pics somehow seems to be more appealing. 

It's tragic, really. Something that you never wanna have to explain. You think you'd rather die. Are shameful of your shamelessness. Ironic.

And right on time, a buzz in your back pocket rumbles through you like a crack of lightning; burns your cheeks a pretty posy pink. 

Jungkook's ignorance of your reaction is a blessing. You're not sure how you would've explained it away - though knowing Jungkook, he'd have used your blush to wind Jin up. Attribute it to himself. Play into the idea of you hooking up with him.

It's not like you've never considered it – but lately, it's been hard to 'consider' anyone other than your Damocles boy.

You're reminded of him now – his thick, pink knuckles, and his notably thicker, marginally less pink cock- and how he said that someone on his team told him he needed to get laid. You can't help but think the same for yourself. 

It's not healthy, the way you're so drawn to the excitement a few pixels can give you. Is stopping you from living your real life.

There's an unease in your stomach; guilt, almost.

So you groan, knock your head back, and concede. "Fine!"

"Attagirl!" Jungkook beams as he pulls his phone from his pocket, checking the time and pushing it back into his jeans again. He reaches over for his bag, the scent of his aftershave catching you off guard. There's something about him... Something you know you should ignore, but are finding harder and harder to do so with each and every passing day. "We good to go?"

"Who else is coming?" You hum, heading to the coat rack to pick up your jacket. Tae is leaning against the door frame, shaking his head.

"Not me. Got a date with my bed," he says, ending his sentence with a yawn. He covers it with the back of his hand, but it's so loud you almost find yourself yawning too.

"Pussy," Jungkook scoffs. "Final show and-"

"Me either," Yoongi says as he walks past, not looking in your direction. The jacket that hangs around his broad shoulders is dark, just like his mood always seems these days.

You're not exactly sure when he decided that you weren't worthy of his time, but you're used to it now. Sucks, but such is life. He's always been a little like this, but it's your first time being on the receiving end of his coldness.

"Hot date with your bed?" You tease, hoping to get a little bit of warmth from him.

As he reaches the door, it surprises you both when he turns to look at you. There's a stillness to him; the slow evaporation of cloudy breaths in sub-zero temperatures. His eyes meet yours, and drop down your body. Pause when they land on your palms, and the phone that's being held in them.

His gaze returns to your eyes, fast quicker this time, and then he shrugs. "Yeah, something like that."

He doesn't wait for a reply. You don't intend on giving him one, either.

"And then there were 5," Jungkook sighs. "Fuck it, let's go."

STAIRWAY BAR Itaewon-ro, Yongsan-Gu

♪ // Heaven and Back - Chase Atlantic

There's something sordid about the place you're in. Could be the neon lights on the walls, could be the walls lined with stacks upon stacks of old vinyl records. Could be the birdcages where lampshades should be, or it could be the worn-out leather sofas you're on in the corner of the room. Could be the punters, and how they're all wrapped in their own personal brand of sin, too busy to notice the living legends walking amongst them.

Truthfully, it's why the boys like places like this. They become one with the shadows. Can hide. Do things in secret that other people do in public. It's not like they're actively looking for trouble, but they can't help but seem to find it. Whether it be women, drugs, booze, it doesn't matter – they've each got a kryptonite.

Regretfully, you know Jin's: women who are no good for him. Blonde, brunette, foreign, local, he doesn't give a shit. All that matters is they know who he is, and they want him in inexplicable ways.

Credit where it's due, they all have conviction. All get exactly what they want – but he's easy. Sluts himself out for the fun of it; for the novelty of being a 'rockstar'.

It's gotten worse since their last big award show win. He's getting careless. Has never been one to hand out NDAs, but the kind of people he's attracting now really should have gag orders – issue is, Jin's always far more focused on finding out how sensitive their gag reflex is.

Namjoon's is his inability to say 'no'. Afterparty? He's there. Toke on a joint that has no business being in the hands of such a high-profile man? Go on, then. An upper before a show? Don't mind if I do.

It's a disaster waiting to happen. Anywhere else and you wouldn't worry. In the States, it'd be a non-issue. Expected, even.

The laws aren't so forgiving, here. One bad decision and that's it. Jail time. But sir, I'm a rockstar, pwetty pwease let me go, won't work on a court judge, and even if it did, the court of public opinion and trial by social media would run him into the ground regardless.

Unfair? You think so, yes. Just how life goes? Also yes.

Though they all push the limits to a certain extent, it's Jungkook that's the biggest risk of all. He's the youngest. Got girls lining around the block just to have a look at him. Is bad in a way that girls convince themselves is good. I can fix him. All starry-eyed and sex appeal, there's nothing innocent about him. Nothing.

S'why you know better than to indulge in his flirt – because that's all it ever is. A limit to push. A boundary to break. A challenge he wants to win.

In quite the contrast, Taehyung keeps his boundaries watertight. Doesn't stray, doesn't overindulge. Goes home to a partner who'd give him the world, if he asked – but he won't. See, Kim Taehyung already has the world. Not his career (though it could be argued), not his money, not his fame. They're perks, sure – but his world waits up for him with his favourite snacks on the kitchen counter, ready to hear all about the show.

It's only the close circle that knows. The make-up girls don't have a clue. Jinyu is well aware, but not because it's ever been discussed. She just knows. Is intuitive, like that. Probably knows more about the boys' business than even Jimin does – and it's his job to know their business.

Though the boys would argue that Yoongi has no weakness, you believe otherwise.

His Achilles heal is found in his solitude. His laissez-faire attitude to the world around him stunts his enjoyment of it, you think. He's never gonna be in his twenties in the biggest band in the world ever again. These days will pass him by, and he's wasting them.

If he were to know you felt this way, he wouldn't dignify you with a response; he'd just show up to even fewer events to spite you. Has no interest in your unsolicited opinions of him.

Because you're wrong about his weaknesses.

While yes, his solitude exacerbates them, it's the silence that nurtures his weaknesses: his regrets. His inability to forget. Forgive. Let things go. He fixates, and it frustrates him to the point of fury.

His kryptonite is not how little he cares. Quite contrary. It's how violently he does care. That's what ties his shoelaces together and trips him up. Gives him a bloody nose. Scrapes his knees. Leaves him bloodied and bruised; pink in his pain.

But that's your kryptonite: your cocksure arrogance in thinking you know everything.

Or at least, that's what Yoongi would tell you, if he were ever to get into this debate with you.

He won't.

Again, you'll think it's because he's laissez-faire. That he doesn't care.

Regretfully, you'll be wrong – but he's the one who simmers over regrets, not you.

"Alright, alright!" You laugh, a little unsteady on your feet as you stand up after god-knows how many shots. Namjoon reaches out to steady you. Glances at Jin as if to say, 'kids, eh?'

You're all fucked. Have had far too much, but you figure that's what nights like these are for – who cares? You're celebrating.

Jin just smiles. Rolls his eyes, then averts his attention to the blonde by the bar who's gonna take your seat as soon as you leave.

Jungkook doesn't notice, cause he's too busy laughing at you.

"Just gonna run to the bathroom," you declare, as if they need to know such details. "Need to pee."

"Bathrooms just round the other side of the projector screen," Jimin tells you, nodding in its direction, 'cause even though it's after hours and he's far too heavily intoxicated, he can't help but be resourceful. That's his kryptonite. Can never switch off. "Just up the stairs."

It's not even like you need direction. Have been to this bar more times than you've had hot dinners.

Jungkook laughs. Thinks you're full of shit. 

"Your tolerance is going down in your old age," he teases, as if you're not the same age. "Tactical chunders are for the weak."

You tell him to go fuck himself, and he laughs, all hearty and warm.  "Gladly."

Their chatter continues without you. The blonde joins, and so does her friend. Someone's getting lucky tonight, and you're pretty sure it'll be all four of them. Thoughts you'd rather not think, honestly.

Teeny tiny is the bathroom. Cramped. A single cubicle is in working order and the hot tap has been broken for as long as you've been visiting this place. It definitely violates some health and safety codes, but who really gives enough of a shit to report it?

Holding your fingers beneath the already running tap, you check the temperature – as if the hot tap even works – and wait for a moment just to be sure. Icy cold, as always.

Lost in the sensation of the water, you forget for a moment why you're there.

While yeah, you could have a drink from the tap, you could have just gotten water at the bar.

Brain all fuzzy, you can't put your finger on it - until your phone vibrates in your back pocket.

And then suddenly, you remember exactly why you're in the bathroom.

11:37PM

D4m0cl3s: fuck, you look so good such a tease i'll be home as soon as i can be been thinking about you all night

11:58PM

i'm home let me know when you're free

00:16AM

you're taking your precious time tonight

00:21AM

what's the deal, huh? tryna get me all frustrated?

00:23AM

it's working

00:39AM

damn maybe that girl on my team was right maybe i should have just gone out and got laid tonight

01:05AM

really? even me being an asshole isn't working? is it compliments you want? you know i'll give you them

01:28AM

okay so i actually am a bit worried now, let me know when you're home safe, m'kay?

Cl3m3ntin3: you know what they say treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen

D4m0cl3s: FINALLY

Cl3m3ntin3: damn, you really are keen aren't you

D4m0cl3s: you were gone so long i was thinking about watching porn PORN you know how long it's been since i watched porn?

Cl3m3ntin3: if my calculations are correct, about 3 months?

D4m0cl3s: ... you're smart, clem but also so mean, my god got me all riled up and kept me waiting HOURS

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm sorry i'm here now and i'm thinking about you, too

D4m0cl3s: are you still out? at work?

Cl3m3ntin3: uh-huh out not at work, tho

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: fucking hell, clem your tits look so good come here wanna hold them

Cl3m3ntin3: give me an address and i'll get in a taxi right now we can keep the lights off, never have to see each other keep things anon but i gottaaaa feel your hands on my chest

D4m0cl3s: i wish i could wish i could just fuck you like we both know you deserved to be fucked

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm not stopping you

D4m0cl3s: we both know that isn't entirely true

Cl3m3ntin3: do we? give me an address doesn't have to be yours hotel sex is always fun

D4m0cl3s: i have a feeling all sex with you will be fun location is irrelevant

Cl3m3ntin3: well i'm currently in a bathroom stall hiding from my friends just so i can reply to you you reckon a bathroom stall would be fun?

D4m0cl3s: i reckon i love a challenge

Cl3m3ntin3: well i mean i could always send you my current location...

D4m0cl3s: tempting... but no.

Cl3m3ntin3: you're your own worst cock block, damocles boy

D4m0cl3s: it's called deprivation, baby yanno, kind of like what you did when you kept me waiting for hours gonna make you want me so badly it hurts

Cl3m3ntin3: i already do which is why you should come and put me out of my misery

D4m0cl3s: you're with your friends, you're fine ;) actually you drinking?

Cl3m3ntin3: a little

D4m0cl3s: a little?

Cl3m3ntin3: ...a lottle?

D4m0cl3s: the fact you just said lottle tells me all i need to know lmao you know the drill, clem

Cl3m3ntin3: :((((( noooooo

D4m0cl3s: stop pouting

Cl3m3ntin3: i can't :(((

D4m0cl3s: you can i meant what i said about no drunk messages only want you doing this when your head is clear

Cl3m3ntin3: my head is clear and my head thinks you should stop thinking with yours actually start thinking with your dick instead :)

D4m0cl3s: fine then let's see how clear your head is send me a video of you walking in a straight line

Cl3m3ntin3: you just wanna see my feet perv

D4m0cl3s: video

Cl3m3ntin3: fineeee, fucking fine!

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: oh yeah fuck that clem, you're pissed as a fart hahaha i'm not even sure you tried to walk in a straight line, you wobbly mess cute laugh tho get some water in you go back to your friends we can talk in the morning

Cl3m3ntin3: but i wanna talk now :( missed u today

D4m0cl3s: missed u too will miss you tonight but i'll wait

Cl3m3ntin3: :( whyyy do you have to be so good all the time :(

D4m0cl3s: because we both know that the second you send me a picture of your perfect little pussy, i won't be good

Cl3m3ntin3: now?

D4m0cl3s: no, baby in the morning, okay? drink some water.

Cl3m3ntin3: fine

D4m0cl3s: watch your attitude

Cl3m3ntin3: sighhh :((

D4m0cl3s: don't you'll make me feel bad just get yourself home and to bed and you can wake up to this tomorrow...

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

Cl3m3ntin3: BRB, sprinting home

D4m0cl3s: shut up idiot enjoy your night lemme know when ur home

Cl3m3ntin3: okay :( sweet dreams, damocles boy x

D4m0cl3s: speak soon, clemmie x

D4m0cl3s is offline

08:58AM

D4m0cl3s: morning clemmie

Cl3m3ntin3: hereee he is was wondering when you'd be up

D4m0cl3s: been up ages was wondering if today would finally be the day you message me first ;)

Cl3m3ntin3: why would i ever do that? we both know you can't bear to be away from this chat thread for more than a few hours

D4m0cl3s: your ego never fails to amaze me

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm a product of your creation, damocles boy you told me last week that i'm the only thing that gets you hard these days and you expect me not to get an ego?

D4m0cl3s: hope you know that when i actually get to fuck you, there's no room in my bed for your ego

Cl3m3ntin3: oh bite me you're gonna be putty in my hands

D4m0cl3s: i'm really gonna have to fuck the ego out of you, aren't i? get your little attitude problem in check and biting? you into that?

Cl3m3ntin3: i'd like to see you try like i said, this is aaaaall your fault if you can't control yourself over a message thread, how the fuck will you cope when I'm in front of you? and pls i'm gonna be the one fucking you it's cute that you think otherwise stupid <33 but cute :)

D4m0cl3s: i literally hate you

Cl3m3ntin3: you gonna hate me when im on my knees between your legs?

D4m0cl3s: yep

Cl3m3ntin3: gonna hate me when i run my tongue up and down that pretty cock of yours?

D4m0cl3s: yep

Cl3m3ntin3: gonna hate me when i wrap my lips around your tip? when i take your hard cock in my warm, wet mouth?

D4m0cl3s: yep and yep

Cl3m3ntin3: gonna hate me when i take you so deep my eyes start watering?

D4m0cl3s: uh-huh

Cl3m3ntin3: you're a tough bargainer :(

D4m0cl3s: just means im gonna fuck you like i hate you

Cl3m3ntin3: no you're not :) you're gonna be soooo shy so timid so scared of fucking up because of how badly you want me

D4m0cl3s: the way you're gonna eat your fucking words actually makes me laugh

Cl3m3ntin3: i wanna hear your laugh

D4m0cl3s: you can hear it when you finally fuck me

Cl3m3ntin3: i could have fucked you last night you said no &lt;//3

D4m0cl3s: incorrect i said not when you're drunk

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm a good fuck when im drunk

D4m0cl3s: i'm pretty sure you're a good fuck regardless of your blood alcohol concentration i've seen how you fuck your toys i know you're a good fuck

Cl3m3ntin3: like this?

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: just like that fuck that's it, baby i like that toy what is it? glass? always looks so good when you sink it into your pussy so so wet, fucking hell

Cl3m3ntin3: glass, uh-huh you should get one for yourself

D4m0cl3s: myself?

Cl3m3ntin3: yourself

D4m0cl3s: i'm not sure that's my kinda thing, clemmie

Cl3m3ntin3: only one way to find out plus i remember how hard you came that time i got you to play with your ass a little

D4m0cl3s: shut up omg

Cl3m3ntin3: seeeeee, i'm totally gonna be the one doing the fucking :D

D4m0cl3s: you're not touching my ass

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm gonna eat it :)

D4m0cl3s: you're gonna do no such thing

Cl3m3ntin3: hehe okay whatever you say :D can't wait to say i told you so when you're face down ass up whining about how good my tongue feels :D

D4m0cl3s: and this is exactly why you need the ego fucked out of you never gonna happen

Cl3m3ntin3: you'll be begging for it one day but fineeeee, if u say so tell me how you'd do it, then? how would you fuck the ego (that you gave me!!!) outta me? tell me how you'd ruin me, damocles boy

D4m0cl3s: show me your pussy first let me look at how wet you are right now

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: god, look at you if this is how wet you get thinking about eating my ass... we can put it on the maybe list but you'd be on your back, like you are now exactly like that, perfect and spread for me i'd start with my fingers

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

these two i'll push them into you so slowly that you'll be begging for more you'll be all whiney (so no change to normal lmao) but i'll curl them a little, just like you said you like it, and use my thumb to toy with your clit

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: fuck i love it when you send videos i could watch that forever literal cinema the way your pussy leaks for me, christ i wouldn't be able to watch your pussy leak like that without licking it up i'd keep my thumb on your clit, gently circling it as my tongue began to toy with your entrance you'd be so leaky on my tongue wouldn't you? so so fuckin' wet for me

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

it's mutual, just so you know

Cl3m3ntin3: god i fucking love it when your tip gets all wet like that you are soooooo needy you wanna fuck me soooooo bad he he i stay winning!!!

D4m0cl3s: CLEM. CONTROL. YOUR. EGO!!

Cl3m3ntin3: FUCK. IT. OUT. OF. ME!!!!

D4m0cl3s: your ego is so big i think i'll just have to fuck you for hours at this point :/

Cl3m3ntin3: oh no :( such a shame !!! :(

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: just imagine this stretching your tight little pussy open my cock is so much bigger than that dildo

Cl3m3ntin3: can't wait to feel you inside me i know it's gonna hurt but in like... the best possible way you're so big and thick such a nice cock ♡♡

D4m0cl3s: i'll go slow with you baby ease you into it

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

Cl3m3ntin3: you've got me soooo wet i think it'll be easy to push into me fill me up

D4m0cl3s: my needy girl look at you my cock belongs inside you your pussy already belongs to me

Cl3m3ntin3: come and claim it

D4m0cl3s: you're making it harder and harder to say no fuck im close

Cl3m3ntin3: same i wanna watch you cum

D4m0cl3s: fuck it i'll call? we can finish together?

Cl3m3ntin3: please

Incoming call from D4m0cl3s Accept | Decline (03 minutes : 14 seconds)

Call ended.

Cl3m3ntin3: nice work

D4m0cl3s: pleasure doing business

Cl3m3ntin3: as always i totally heard that little giggle tho ;)

D4m0cl3s: fuck off what giggle

Cl3m3ntin3: the one you did after you came all over your tummy :)♡♡

D4m0cl3s: never giggled in my life ever

Cl3m3ntin3: liar x

D4m0cl3s: i only laughed cause you did too >:(

Cl3m3ntin3: and i only laughed cause of how hard you made me cum you've got a gift, damocles boy

D4m0cl3s: and you've got the nicest pussy i've ever seen in my whole entire life

Cl3m3ntin3: you have to use a dating app to get your rocks off deffo a virgin :/ never seen a pussy before in your life :/ not much competition to compare me to, is there? :/

D4m0cl3s: i really do mean it when i say i hate you :) x

Cl3m3ntin3: i know you do babe

D4m0cl3s: wish we were never matched, actually

Cl3m3ntin3: same might just block you actually

D4m0cl3s: PLEASE put me out of my misery

Cl3m3ntin3: okay :D bye forever :D

D4m0cl3s: wait no don't :(

Cl3m3ntin3: you're a bloody seesaw boy always up and down either hate me or love me make up your mind !!

D4m0cl3s: lmao you've no idea but where's the fun in that? i like keeping you on your toes

Cl3m3ntin3: true i gotta run tho got a date with a real boy seeyaaaa x

D4m0cl3s: wooooah wait wait a date?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah with someone in like.. real life... problem?

D4m0cl3s: no problem just surprised that's all

Cl3m3ntin3: that someone would want to date me?

D4m0cl3s: no that you'd want to date someone else

Cl3m3ntin3: breaking news: girl in her early twenties wants more than nudes from a stranger on the internet

D4m0cl3s: fair enough probably shouldn't continue this, then a heads up would have been nice

Cl3m3ntin3: you wanna stop?

D4m0cl3s: no no, i really don't, clem but you're right you do deserve more

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah i do

D4m0cl3s: i actually hate this wtf like i know you can do what you like and i can do what i like but i thought we had something good going?

Cl3m3ntin3: we do thank god i'm just lying about a date for attention :) &lt;3

D4m0cl3s: what the fuck clem

Cl3m3ntin3: made you shit your pants didn't i

D4m0cl3s: CLEM.

Cl3m3ntin3: DAMOCLES BOY.

D4m0cl3s: so you're not going on a date?

Cl3m3ntin3: no you idiot you think i have enough time to be meeting new people when i spend all my free time sending you nudes? was just fucking with you wanted to see if you cared

D4m0cl3s: you could have just asked

Cl3m3ntin3: you'd have told me you hate me

D4m0cl3s: BECAUSE I DO you're actually mental

Cl3m3ntin3: he he u luv it

D4m0cl3s: i don't

Cl3m3ntin3: do basically started crying when you thought someone else might take your place

D4m0cl3s: you didn't even give me a chance to clean myself up you fucking menace !! just made me cum and then did a 180 what did you expect me to do?! you know how sad my dick looks right now?

Cl3m3ntin3: no show me

D4m0cl3s: get fucked you little cretin

Cl3m3ntin3: let me see your sad cock :(

D4m0cl3s: you're never seeing it again you don't deserve it after that little stunt

Cl3m3ntin3: so... ill see it tonight?

D4m0cl3s: .... .......... ............... probably now fuck off i've got a day to get on with might even go on a date

Cl3m3ntin3: no you won't :D

D4m0cl3s: i hate you x

Cl3m3ntin3: denial x

D4m0cl3s is offline

"Jesus Christ," you say, tone full of surprise when you walk into your living room. It's just gone midday, and you've finally risen from your hangover pit of despair.

Following the conversation with your Damocles boy, you had decided a nap was in order, but it only served to make your headache even worse. Turns out, the orgasm had just been a temporary solution. You need paracetemol, and you need it now.

"Jimin, actually," an equally hungover mess groans from your sofa. He's bundled in blankets, a pouty chin hooked over the armrest to look at you with puppy dog eyes. His expression screams 'water pls'.

"And Jungkook," a second voice whines from behind the sofa. A hand rises from the direction of the voice, covered in thick black inkings, before falling with a thud.

Your lips hang ajar as you look at them both, far more confused than you should be. When you glance over to the kitchen counter, you're greeted with the sight of what must have been a rager. There are bottles everywhere - mainly soju and beer - and there's a sticky sheen pooling around their bases. A packet of crisps is open on the hob, but most of the actual crisps are scattered on the floor. You're willing to bet good money on Jungkook being responsible for those.

"The fuck happened last night?" You ask, though you're able to pick up enough context clues from the photobooth pictures that are on your fridge door. They're stuck in place with washi tape, of which you don't remember buying.

"You didn't buy it," Jungkook says when you ask about it. "Stole it from the photobooth place. Little klepto."

"Brilliant," you grimace. The last thing you need is a scandal going around about Kim Seokjin's troublesome younger sister and her thieving ways. The media love a scandal, and Jin has been able to avoid them for the most part. "Joon and Jin?"

"Headed home before us," Jimin tells you. "Really don't remember a thing, do you?"

The last thing you remember is messaging your Damocles boy in the bathroom stall. You don't even really remember how the conversation ended. The rest of the night? Never happened, in your mind.

Still reeling, the day wastes away from you all.

It's spent huddled up on your sofa, Jungkook's Spotify connected to your speaker, as you try and decipher exactly what happened the night before. It's like you're the cast of a shitty Hollywood movie from 10 years ago - nothing makes sense, but it also kind of all does. Jungkook's got the least patchy memories. Remembers how you got home, at least.

There's only one thing he doesn't mention - partially because it happened this morning, not last night, but also because he wants to spare your dignity.

He's a light sleeper. Especially the mornings after a few too many drinks. As soon as the alcohol flushes his body, he has to get up, get water, go to the bathroom. Set his world to rights. This morning had been no exception.

Just a shame he happened to wake a mere matter of moments before your Damocles boy had called you.

No words had been spoken, no conversation took place - but with your phone angled awkwardly for prime shots of your most intimate areas, you had moaned a little louder than usual to make sure the mic picked it up.

And so Jungkook had heard it all - and had recognised the click of a Hush call coming to an end. He's had more than enough himself to know the tone by now.

Watching on as you laugh with Jimin about something nonsensical, mid-afternoon sun pouring through the cracks in your curtains, Jungkook is curious.

You don't notice the way he's studying you, nibbling on his lip ring as he does so.

The running joke between the pair of you about dating to piss off Jin has always been exactly that - a joke - but the idea of you dating someone else in the industry makes him feel a little... off.

He doesn't question it, though. Doesn't really know what to make of it. Doesn't like it, mind you.

As the evening begins to draw in, Jimin leaves first, with Jungkook set to follow suit half an hour later. He tells you he'll leave at 6, but he's still on your sofa when it hits 7:05PM.

"There's something about you lately," he says, scheming, dark eyes narrow. You narrow yours back right back.

"How so?"

"Dunno," he smiles. He wants to ask who you're fucking about with, but it seems too forward. You're close, and have been for years, but not as close as you used to be. His fault, really. He's the one who ditched you when he started dating some songwriter a few years back. "You just seem... preoccupied. What's going on with you, fizz?"

The nickname is so natural that it rolls off Jungkook's tongue as if he hadn't stopped calling you it around the same time he got that girlfriend. She didn't last long, but the slight chill to your friendship had.

"Haven't heard that in a while," you smile right back, as you take a sip on the fizzy orangade that you adore so much it had become a bloody nickname.

"Still suits you," he says, and he's right. Fizzy by name, fizzy by nature. "So you gonna tell me?"

You're not really sure what he wants you to say, so just shrug. "I'm fine, buddy. Are you okay?"

"I'm cool," he nods, aware of the fact you definitely don't want to talk about whatever it is going on with you - so he changes topic. "Nervous about tour, if I'm being honest. You're coming, right? Been contracted on?"

"Uh-huh," you nod. "For the European leg, at least. They haven't sent out contracts yet for the US leg."

"You'll be on it," he says with absolute certainty. He can't see any reason why you wouldn't be. They all like having you around. It's nice having a familiar face backstage. Nice having a friend.

"Hopefully," you agree, very aware that your job is incredibly sought after. You're not the only nepotism baby around, and know that the US leg will be a lot more... political, as it were. Record label execs will all be fighting for attention from the boys, and that could mean putting overqualified suits in job positions like yours, just for a little bit of Scout exposure.

"You really think they're gonna kick you off the roster?" he smiles, nudging you with his foot from across the sofa. "We'd all riot. Even Yoongi."

Now that is something you doubt.

"He'd probably be leading the counter-riot to have me kicked off," you roll your eyes.

"He's just pissy that he can't be annoyed with you," Jungkook laughs. "He wants to hate how you got hired, but he knows you're good at what you do. Knows that you'd have got the job with or without your bloodline."

"Or," you counter. "He really does just hate me."

Jungkook shakes his head. He's noticed Yoongi's coldness recently, too. Puts it down to stress from touring so intensely. Things were definitely different than they used to be - not necessarily any better, nor worse. Just different.

"It's understandable," Jungkook taunts you. "You are pretty unbearable."

He catches your foot as you go to kick him, surprised by how strong your legs actually are - but you're no match for his upper body strength. Not even when you try and use your other leg, as well.

"Some boys actually enjoy my company," you protest, still struggling a little.

"Uh-huh," Jungkook nods, biting down on his bottom lip. His eyes are sparkling in the same way they did after last night's concert. He's just messing, flirting with you for the fun of it, but he knows he shouldn't. Knows he's only doing it cause he knows you're talking to someone else. He's lost your affections before, and while you're just friends, he still doesn't like the idea of it happening again. He likes being number one. Likes being top of the food chain. "Sure they do."

He thinks he has the upper hand here, but he hasn't realised you've stopped fighting against his grip. You're gentle in the way you move your legs, lowering them just a little until they're on his lap. He lets them be. Pays no notice to the fact he's not entirely soft beneath his sweats.

You ignore it, too. Kind of. Press down a little, just to let him know you know. He doesn't react. Just cocks one of his brows, as if to say, 'so?'

And then he figures that throwing caution to the wind is the best option here. He doesn't want to let things get out of hand, and he's sure you don't either.

"So are you gonna tell me about your Hush boy now or later?"

The way your jaw drops is almost comical. The pressure of your feet eases, and Jungkook is sad to lose it, but he doesn't resist as you pull your legs up to your chest in panic. He's still got that cocksure grin on his face, amused by your reaction.

"What?" He smirks, reclining back into the corner of the sofa. His legs spread a little, and the bulge is even more noticeable. He's doing it to fuck with you, now. You don't even look in its direction, but he still has the nerve to say, "Eyes up here, fizz."

"My eyes are up," you almost gasp. "And so are you, apparently."

Jungkook knocks his head to the side, and scrunches his nose a little. Being called out for it makes him a little awkward, even when he's the most confident guy you've ever known.

"I'm just hungover-"

"Yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes, before reciting the same bullshit he always says. "I'm always more horny when I'm hungover."

The way you say it is so whiney that Jungkook can't help but laugh. "I don't sound like that you prick - and stop deflecting. I heard you this morning. Sounds like I'm not the only one who suffers from horny hangovers."

It's about now that your face blossoms with the most delightful shade of red. Your cheeks are hot, and Jungkook can see how mortified you are. He finds it fucking hilarious.

"You didn't."

"Oh," he sings. "But I did."

"I'm gonna throw up," you grimace. Flirting with Jungkook is all well and good, but the idea of him hearing you get yourself off is shameful. Truly horrific.

"You didn't remember that me and Jimin had crashed here, did you?" He teases, knowing that you'd have never done it had you known they were in the next room over - or maybe you would have done. You just would have been a little more discreet.

"Didn't have a clue," you confirm, before burying your head in a sofa cushion. This is probably the most tragic conversation you've ever had with Jungkook.

He just laughs. Finds it hilarious.

"You didn't hear anything," you tell him. "Forget it ever happened."

"Was kinda hot," he shrugs - but fails to tell you that his current semi isn't the first time he's been hard in your apartment today. "Doesn't answer my question, though. Who's your Hush guy?"

Your face screws up like a paper napkin. This is not a conversation you want to be having, nor one you thought you'd be having a few minutes ago when your feet were on his cock.

In fact, your eyes are still closed, face all cute and regretful when you say, "How the fuck am I supposed to know? Doesn't that defeat the object of Hush?"

Jungkook laughs. "Give over. Who is he?"

"I'm being serious," you say, and notice the way Jungkook's smile shifts. He looks a little concerned, now, brows hard. "I don't know."

"Fizz," he says, too shocked to address you by anything but a dumb nickname. His brows are furrowed, and it's his jaw gaping now, not yours. "How do you not know?"

And now you're confused, because you thought that anonymity was the whole point of Hush.

"We just... never disclosed it, I guess?"

"So, what?" Jungkook's tone changes. It sounds like he's accusing you now, berating you a little. You both look as bewildered as one another. "You just matched with some dude this morning and got straight to it?"

That's the only plausibility, Jungkook thinks.

He knows Hush, knows what it's like, but knows that the stakes are too high to keep the anon act up. If he isn't comfortable enough to share his identity within a day or two, he unmatches.

Sure, he's gotten himself in pretty risky conversations straight off the bat before, and has had his fair share of casual encounters thanks to the app - but he doesn't love the idea of you doing it, too. It's because he knows that he doesn't care for the girls he uses in those situations, and dislikes the idea of someone else using you like that.

"No?" You reply, a little offended. "We've been talking for like... a few months?"

Jungkook almost shrieks. "A few months?! And you don't know who he is?!"

You stay silent for a moment. You're reflecting his confusion back at him. He can't understand for the life of him why you don't see a problem with this - but you haven't worked your way through the Hush circles like he has. Your Damocles boy has been the only person you've ever given the time of day on there.

"That's the whole point?" You say, but it's really a question because you can't understand why he's so horrified.

"He could be anyone," Jungkook whispers, as if he's trying to keep your secret for you. "Anyone!"

"He's alright," you promise. "He's nice."

"You don't even know his name!"

"I'm pretty sure you can only name a handful of the girls you've fucked in the last couple of years," you scoff at his hypocrisy.

Jungkook got eyes like a hopeless romantic, all shiny and bright. People don't seem to realise such appeal affords him endless opportunities for casual encounters - of which he thinks it would be rude to turn down. Or at least that's what he tells you.

Realistically, you know he just likes fucking about.

"That's not the point here, fizz, and you know it," he scolds.

"Who I may or may not send nudes to is really none of your concern, Jungkook," you tell him.

"I know that," he insists. "But if this has been going on for months..."

"Then it's still none of your concern."

He holds up his hands, eyes wide. He's waving a white flag, even if he thinks you're a walking, talking red one. "I'm not attacking you, here. I just think you need to be careful."

"I'm fine," you tell him softly, and he's pleased when you smile at him in that fond way he's so used to. It feels a lot safer than the confusion on your face a moment ago. You know his concern comes from a good place. "It's just what works for us. It's as much my choice as it is his."

Jungkook nods, and lets it go, but not before warning you, "I'm not the only one of the guys on there. Tae and Jin, we both know they're not, but the rest of them? I dread to think of what Jin would do if he found out Joon was phone fucking his little sister."

You laugh now. Really laugh.

"I'm not kidding!" Jungkook protests.

"I'd recognise any of you in an instant," you tell him, and you really believe it.

You have no doubt in your mind that you'd be able to sense any of them off from miles away. They're too familiar.

"I fucking hope so," he laughs, and while you're laughing too, you feel a little uneasy.

Maybe he has a point. Maybe you do need to dig a little deeper.

But as Jungkook leaves, and you check your phone only to find a new message waiting from your Damocles boy, you can't help but feel a little out of your depth already.

21:43PM

D4m0cl3s: whyyyy am i so obsessed with u

22:10PM

leaving me on read? that's a new one (plus will probably only make me a little more obsessed (something about toxic girls that just really gets to me))

22:32PM

i lied i don't like toxic girls pls don't ignore me clem :(

Cl3m3ntin3: hey sorry was just a little busy

D4m0cl3s: it's cool you okay?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah yeah, im all good you?

D4m0cl3s: im okay you seem a little... i dunno. off?

Cl3m3ntin3: sorry i'm fine really

D4m0cl3s: yanno, you say one thing but the way you're writing sends a whole entire different message it's v confusing, clem

Cl3m3ntin3: sorry i don't mean to be im all good, honest

D4m0cl3s: stop saying sorry

22:54PM

clem whats up you're never like this, you got me worried

Cl3m3ntin3: you sat at home worrying over a girl you can't even imagine?

D4m0cl3s: wdym?

Cl3m3ntin3: it's not like you can picture me not like you can think of my face so what are you thinking about when you're worrying? some pixels? your phone?

D4m0cl3s: right. where has all this come from? please know my face is very confused right now so whatever you imagine when you think of me - 'cause let's remember that you don't have a fuckin' clue what i look like either - add a little confusion to it that should do the job.

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm gonna add a little anger to it 'cause you seem pissed off

D4m0cl3s: well, yeah? i kind of am i don't get why you're, like, attacking me? like im the only one keeping a secret? it's you and me both, clem.

00:06AM

you can't just ignore me whenever i say something you don't like

Cl3m3ntin3: no? i think i can. goes with the territory of you not knowing who the fuck i am. no repercussions.

D4m0cl3s: where the fuck has all this come from? were we not good this morning?

00:13AM

and there you go again, leaving me on read.

Cl3m3ntin3: don't act like you actually give a fuck been 3 months if you cared, surely i'd know who you are by now?

D4m0cl3s: pot, kettle, black, clem it's a two-way street and fuck you if i didn't care, i'd just be leaving your shitty attitude on read, too.

Cl3m3ntin3: how can you care about someone you don't know? really? how can you?

D4m0cl3s: are you telling me you don't care about me?

00:17AM

if this is you leaving me on read again then you can go fuck yourself. like literally just unmatch me.

Cl3m3ntin3: im not leaving you on read im trying to figure out what the fuck i want to say just give me a moment, okay?

D4m0cl3s: m'kay.

Cl3m3ntin3: i care that's, like the most important thing here. i really care. i just i had someone irl questioning me about you today and it kind of left me stumped. why don't you want to know who i am?

D4m0cl3s: i kinda hate that an outsider has swayed your opinion on me so much don't get me wrong, i love that your friends care about you just hate that it makes you think i don't

Cl3m3ntin3: that's not an answer

D4m0cl3s: patience is a virtue, clem i was getting there my line of work... i cant commit to anything. it isn't fair. it isn't fair to let someone get invested in me. the moment you know who i am, everything changes it's far easier for you to be detached if i'm just a few pixels if this isn't physical

Cl3m3ntin3: you've spent 3 months getting yourself off to me and me alone that's commitment, isn't it?

D4m0cl3s: that's conditioning, clem you've made everything else so incredibly boring you're the only thing that excites me

Cl3m3ntin3: and yet...

D4m0cl3s: and yet. clem, we both know the second this becomes more than what it already is, there's no taking it back. i don't wanna lose this don't wanna lose you.

Cl3m3ntin3: i think it's really sad that you think being honest will result in losing me

D4m0cl3s: just how the cookie crumbles, clem i've seen it happen with my friends you were right when you said you deserve more than dick pics from some rando on the internet but even if you knew who i was, that's all i'd be able to give you i like you too much to cope with knowing how disappointed you'd be by the outcome of my grand reveal a few pixels can only disappoint you so much a real, tangible human? so much more.

Cl3m3ntin3: just a rando on the internet who sends me dick pics and yet you've got me feeling all kinds of fucked up

D4m0cl3s: it's mutual, if it helps really did mean it when i said i was obsessed with u earlier and for the record i don't really imagine a person when i think of you more of like.. i dunno. an aura? i guess. peachy. orange. a little green. very clementine inspired maybe that's it maybe i imagine clementines my teeny tiny clementine

Cl3m3ntin3: you make my heart hurt

D4m0cl3s: you make my heart hurt, too

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm sorry for... like going off at you

D4m0cl3s: it's cool kind of nice to see this side of you, i guess ur ego isn't always big shock

Cl3m3ntin3: oh no it is this is all the result of a bruised ego was very offended that you didn't wanna know i am i'll have you know one of my friends got a semi just looking at me earlier and yet the guy who makes me cum doesn't even wanna know me &lt;///333

D4m0cl3s: firstly lets stop with this nonsense, okay? i would kill to know who you are and as soon as we're both in situations where it's fair i'm booking you a taxi and routing it straight for my place also fuck ur friend (not literally pls)

Cl3m3ntin3: oh? not gonna wine and dine me first? (i wont)

D4m0cl3s: absolutely not first thing im doing is checking to see if your head can fit through doors, you egomaniac

Cl3m3ntin3: and the second thing?

D4m0cl3s: fucking the rest of that ego out of you ♡♡

Cl3m3ntin3: and they say romance is dead

D4m0cl3s: im not the most romantic of guys

Cl3m3ntin3: i'll pretend im shocked

D4m0cl3s: are we good, clem?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah we're good im sorry for getting so in my head about things don't even know why i got so pissed about you not being able to imagine me when i literally can't imagine you either lmao

D4m0cl3s: what do you think of when you think of me?

Cl3m3ntin3: honestly?

D4m0cl3s: honestly...

Cl3m3ntin3: your cock lmao i wish i could say something cute like your aura, but i'd simply be lying

D4m0cl3s: for fucks sake haha

Cl3m3ntin3: good cock, at least great cock, some would say

D4m0cl3s: some?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah not me i'd say average :)

D4m0cl3s: average? AVERAGE?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah :D

D4m0cl3s: i... do you need reminding or something?

Cl3m3ntin3: no? it's average :) !

D4m0cl3s: the man was too stunned to speak

Cl3m3ntin3: maybe i do need reminding then? could have sworn it was average? maybe even a little smaller?

D4m0cl3s: you are rubbing salt in a wound, miss teeny tiny clementine i've never been more offended

Cl3m3ntin3: hmm... prove me wrong?

D4m0cl3s: i want it on record that i hate you

Cl3m3ntin3: sure you do, baby

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: does this help?

Cl3m3ntin3: a little? not much, though maybe it would help if I had some more context? maybe you should play with it for me a little bit?

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: like this?

Cl3m3ntin3: ooo that's a little better only a little, though maybe more?

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

D4m0cl3s: what about now?

Cl3m3ntin3: maybe you should play with your balls a little? for like... spacial awareness?

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

yeah, that helps that really helps

D4m0cl3s: still average? or does it look like we both know it does?

Cl3m3ntin3: how do we both know it looks?

D4m0cl3s: like it would ruin your tight little cunt

Cl3m3ntin3: damn, damocles you're really coming for me now, aren't you? what happened to my pretty little pussy you love so much? it's cunt now?

D4m0cl3s: you don't want me playing nice right now you wouldn't be telling me i'm below average if you did you want me fucking you like i have a point to prove

Cl3m3ntin3: and what point would that be?

D4m0cl3s: that once i finally get to fuck your (pretty, perfect, fucking incredible) cunt, it's mine mine, and no one else's especially not that friend of yours who got hard looking at you

Cl3m3ntin3: i spy with my little eye something that begins with J (it ends in 'ealousy', suga) sugar** lmao typo

D4m0cl3s: suga on the brain? you a scouts fan?

Cl3m3ntin3: they're fine not what i want to be thinking of right now, tho

D4m0cl3s: my bad well, no, your bad actually who's your favourite member?

Cl3m3ntin3: shuuuuush time and place, babe also i have an idea

D4m0cl3s: go on?

Cl3m3ntin3: you got a bottle close by?

D4m0cl3s: ermmm like water bottle?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah

D4m0cl3s: i've a chilsung?

Cl3m3ntin3: perfect me too wanna see your hand wrapped around it

D4m0cl3s: .... i have a cock right here and hard for you .... and you wanna see my hand around a bottle?

Cl3m3ntin3: just do it baby

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

oh my fucking god

D4m0cl3s: what?

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

oh holy shit why is your hand so small it doesn't even get around the bottle?????!! i'd literally like... eclipse it

Cl3m3ntin3: uh huh now wrap your hand around your cock you know the size difference now you know exactly what it'd look like

D4m0cl3s: god i'm gonna fucking destroy you arent i

Cl3m3ntin3: uh huh i think so jesus christ i haven't even been touching myself and look at the state of me

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

you did this this is all you

D4m0cl3s: all mine i'm never gonna share you god i gotta fuck you

Cl3m3ntin3: we've literally just had a full entire fuck off conversation as to why you cant

D4m0cl3s: im a boy im stupid i cant be trusted to make such decisions let me fuck you please

Cl3m3ntin3: no, baby you know you can't you gotta be patient

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

think of how well you'll be rewarded

D4m0cl3s: no i gotta fuck you i need to i think i might die if i can't

D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!

so hard that death is the only option

Cl3m3ntin3: the way you hold it around the base always gets me so fucked up all i can think about is the fact it will look just like that when you guide it into me

Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!

reckon im wet enough for you?

D4m0cl3s: i think you're wet enough that i'll never need to drink water again so fucking hot literally how the fuck do you even get that wet

Cl3m3ntin3: wish i could tell you truth is you're the only one who's ever got me like that

D4m0cl3s: fuck don't say shit like that, clem im too close

Cl3m3ntin3: you can cum, baby i wanna see it

D4m0cl3s: can i call? i wanna watch you too

Cl3m3ntin3: yes please pretty please

D4m0cl3s: always so good for me, clem ain't no fuckin' way im ever losing this

Cl3m3ntin3: just call me you sentimental prick ;)

Incoming call from D4m0cl3s Accept | Decline (01 minute : 37 seconds) Call ended.

Cl3m3ntin3: im so furious that was a call and not a video you fucking whined WHINED jesus i might cum again just thinking about it

D4m0cl3s: and they say men are easy

Cl3m3ntin3: fuck you, you know you're hot

D4m0cl3s: do i?

Cl3m3ntin3: yeah yeah you fucking do give me all this shit for my ego, but jesus christ you know exactly what you do to me

D4m0cl3s: and you know it's mutual the whine... yeah that wasn't intentional you're just??? unreal????

Cl3m3ntin3: probably a good idea that we don't ever fuck i think i'd stop being able to function like a useful member of society would just want to spend all day in bed with you

D4m0cl3s: you say that as we don't spend a fair amount of our free time doing exactly that just... not together but still together kinda i guess? does that make sense?

Cl3m3ntin3: it makes sense i'm sorry about earlier, still

D4m0cl3s: im sorry, too i know that this isn't like... conventional

Cl3m3ntin3: conventional is boring im gonna go get a shower quickly talk later?

D4m0cl3s: talk later miss u already x

D4m0cl3s is offline

BIG HIT ENT OFFICES Yongsan-gu, Seoul

"You can stop avoiding me, yanno," Jungkook mumbles as he comes to stand beside you.

The grey corridors of Big Hit all look the same, but this one's a little different. It's The Scouts stomping ground; space reluctantly given to them after the success of the last album. Told management they needed studios to work in underdisturbed. Three of them. Tae and Jin didn't care for one - are happy doing their own shit in the dingy old practise room in the basement - but Yoongi, Namjoon and Jungkook all threw tantrums.

Well, less-so trantrums and more-so well put together business plans an ROI graphs for some of the senior bosses. Hoseok was in charge of overseeing it all, and blew far too much budget on it - something of which has bitten them all in the arse, and keeps them tied to their label for longer, but they have freedoms, at least. More than most bands in their field. Oppotunities. Visibility.

At the far end of the corridor, closest to the snack machine, is Jungkook's studio.

There's silence as you watch the packet of chips you just chose drop into the vending chute, with little care for the fact he sounds stroppy. Though you don't look at him, you know he's pouting. Can hear it in his voice.

It's been a few days since he left your apartment and you haven't really spoken since. It's not like it's totally uncommon for you to go a while without chatting, but you are aware that you left a couple memes sent to you on read.

You weren't trying to be a bitch, he just sent them at bad times, and you forgot to reply. Seems as if your lack of consideration has left him overthinking, and you feel a little bad.

You crouch, knees cracking as you do, stuffing your arm into the machine and retrieving your purchases - plural. A packet of chips for you, and banana milk for him. He narrows his eyes as you hold it towards him. You're still crouched, eyes a little wide but impatient.

"Take it or I'll drink it myself, you big baby."

He wants to resist, but he can't. Something just so tempting about banana milk. Gets him every time.

"Was coming to see you, actually," you say as you return to your full posture, knocking your head to the side to indicate you want to walk. He follows your lead like he always does. It explains the banana milk, at least, and makes him feel a little easier. "Just been busy, haven't been avoiding you. Stupid. Anyways, had a meeting today about the next run of shows so thought I'd pop up and say hi before I left."

He hums to let you know he's listening, encouraging you to keep on talking as he reaches the door to his studio. It's pin-protected, so you wait till he's typed in the code to continue - though realistically, you both know you could have just typed it in yourself.

"How'd it go?" He asks, both out of politeness and general curiosity. He's always keen to hear about your life; what's going on with it.

"Yeah, yeah," you nod, entering first and taking a seat in his favourite desk chair as soon as you're inside. You drape your overshirt across the back of it, and ignore the way Jungkook's eyes briefly flitter towards your chest. His gaze doesn't linger, so you don't bother teasing him about it. "All good. Just going over some health and safety stuff."

He pops his banana milk down on the desk. Frowns. Sighs. "Up."

Every single time. Him and his bloody chair.

"But there's another chair right there!" You protest, knowing full well you're in Jungkook's ridiculously overpriced gaming chair, which really has no business being in a music studio - but dear lord if it isn't the comfiest thing you've ever sat on.

"Exactly!" He wails in return. "You, there. Me, here."

The way he gestures his hands makes him look like a flight attendant, all poised and direct, but you don't budge.

"Mhmm-mm," you mumble, trying to eat a chip as Jungkook tugs on your arm. "Me, here. You there!"

"You're gonna get crumbs all over it," he says with such a pout that you can't help but laugh. You know he's got a mini vacuum in his desk drawer precisely for times like these. You know because you're the one who bought it, after the fifth time you'd argued over something as trivial as a few crumbs.

"I won't," you pout right back, then promise, "I'll wipe my fingers."

He's about to say something back, before he realises that you are wiping your fingers - right along the hem of his shirt.

"For fucks sake, you little shit," he moans, wrapping his arm around your head to get you in a headlock. Should have just done this earlier, he thinks. The pair of you struggle for a moment, but he's too bloody strong. You squeal as he drags you off the chair and plonks you down in the spare seat. "Much better."

"You suck," you huff as you kick out at him, but miss as he sits himself down and rolls away with a cheeky little grin on his face.

He's about to reply all rather childishly, but a knock at his door breaks the contact of his eyes on yours.

You're thankful for the interruption. You don't like the way it feels when you look at Jungkook these days. It's a bit... too much.

"Who is it?" Jungkook calls, the frosted glass hiding the intruder, but not really. Even you can make out who it is.

"Yoongi," he calls through, to which Jungkook tells him that he can let himself in. He's one of the chosen few; the secret circle. In all reality, every single one of the boys knows Jungkook's passwords, but he tells himself otherwise. Somehow likes the idea of exclusivity.

"Hey, I- oh," Yoongi begins as he enters the room, stopping as he realises you're there. He's dressed down, a pair of black slacks and a white shirt a fair few sizes too large draped over his shoulders.

Dressed quite a lot like you, actually, though your slacks are fitted and high-waisted, and the white shirt you're in is tight. It clings to your skin, and now that your overshirt is hooked over the back of Jungkook's chair, there's not much hiding your silhouette.

They've both seen you in far less - there's a mutual agreement to never speak of your twenty-third birthday party and the bath debacle - but it's not often you're in anything that doesn't hide you up a little. It's just professionalism, and considering you're mostly around them at work, it makes sense.

But your shirt had ridden up a little from the struggle with Jungkook, and your midriff is distracting for Yoongi, apparently. He stays silent. Looks at you. Looks at Jungkook. Looks at your shirt, which is crumpled by Jungkook. Looks at the mess your hair is in following the headlock. Is unaware of the headlock ever taking place. Adds 2 and 2 and gets 5.

"Didn't realise you had company," Yoongi musters. "My bad."

"Don't mind me," you smile. "I can get gone, if you need time with Jungkook?"

"No, no," Yoongi insists, before turning to focus on Jungkook. The way he cuts the conversation short with you weighs on you. You and Yoongi had never been close, not in the same way you were with Jungkook, but there was a time when you would have been invited along with whatever he needed Jungkook for. Hasn't been that way for a while now, but it still makes you sad. "Just running through that demo you sent over, I've got some notes. I'll be in the studio all evening, so just come by whenever you're... done."

It dawns on you pretty quickly that Yoongi's jumping to conclusions. Your cheeks begin to flame, and you have to stop yourself from awkwardly laughing.

"I'm actually heading off now," you mumble, getting to your feet. The last thing you need is yet another thing for Yoongi to hold against you.

You like to tell yourself it's the whole nepotism thing - and honestly, it's an undeniable part of his disdain for you lately.

But you also know it's something more.

See, there are two things you and Yoongi will never speak of.

The first is your twenty-third birthday party, and the bath debacle that came with it. It was harmless, and he wasn't the only one there - Jimin and Jungkook played their part too - but it's an avoided topic to preserve your dignity more than anything else.

The second thing you will never discuss is the night that never was. The one you both agreed never happened.

When he looks at you, you know he's thinking about it.

But it's your best-kept secret, and you'd quite like to keep it that way, so you make your excuses and leave. Jungkook says bye, and that he'll text later. Yoongi doesn't even really look at you as you leave.

There's a momentum to your heartbeat as you leave the building, your staff pass beeping like a hospital monitor as you go through security. There's a buzz in your back pocket as soon as you're through the doors - not the kind you long for from your Damocles boy, but a just regular kakaotalk message.

When you pull up your phone and see his name, you're surprised, but also a little concerned. You wait until you're at the bus stop to check his messages - and when you do, you wish you never did.

Yoongi (personal): I've said the same to Jungkook as I'm gonna say to you. Think about it from Jin's perspective.

You can't help but laugh at his sheer audacity. Of all people, Yoongi has absolutely no right to berate you, nor your choices. He's completely missed the mark of the relationship between you and Jungkook - and he's really in no place to judge. No place at all.

And so you tell him as such.

You: Not really sure what you're getting at But tell me, Yoongi, did you think about it from Jin's perspective?

You know better than to mention the night that never was. Neither of you have spoken about it for months - a full year, almost - but he deserves to think about it if he's going to be a prick. Deserves to remember. Deserves to have it linger.

You watch as your messages are marked as 'read', and then you mute your notifications from him. How he thinks he has any right to police what you do - and who you do it with - infuriates you. Why waste your time, though? He's been nothing but an absolute arse to you over the past couple of months. Nothing will change it.

The frustration in your mind has you wanting to watch the world roll by. You let the bus you usually board roll on by, opting for the longer route instead. It won't come for another few minutes, but it's not so bad out today. The weather is bearable.

It's as you're waiting - a face of thunder and scowl foul enough to rival even Yoongi's on a bad day - that your phone buzzes. The corner of your lips curl. Cheeks turn pink. It vibrates again. And a third time.

So even though you mentally scold yourself for not waiting until you get home, you find yourself unlocking your phone and heading to Hush.

And sure enough, there he is.

D4m0cl3s: working late tonight

The second message is a picture. Has you gasping. It's a pair of dark trousers, unbuckled, zip down, but still in place - pushed open enough for you to see the thick outline of a bulge in white Calvins.

D4m0cl3s: thinking about you x

A soft laugh escapes your lips, and you forget all about your bad mood.

You reply, a grin on your face so large that you think it could rival a Cheshire cat.

Cl3m3ntin3: and they say romance is dead?? ♡♡

He replies instantly.

D4m0cl3s: i'm not trying to romance you, clem i'm trying to seduce you :) is it working? Cl3m3ntin3: no x D4m0cl3s: what about now??

The picture he sends through is obscene. Belongs in the centrefold of a top shelf magazine. Has you fucking drooling, a light whimper escaping your lips. The harsh wind of a taxi storming by reminds you that you're in public. You look over your shoulder to make sure there's no one walking by - not because you don't want to get caught looking at it, but so you can oogle at it for a little bit longer.

His fingers are wrapped around his thick cock, his grip tight. Like, real fucking tight. His foreskin is pulled down, and there's a small pool of thick precum glistening on his tip. It's so minimal, but so central to the photo that you know it's the main focus. He's letting you know just how horny he is, just how ready he is to fuck himself into you - and he's hoping that your pussy will be leaking like that, too.

Cl3m3ntin3: i'm on my way home can you wait for like 20 minutes? D4m0cl3s: i've got all night, clem take your time i'll be waiting for you Cl3m3ntin3: be home soooooon D4m0cl3s: travel safe, clemmie x Cl3m3ntin3: simp.

[theweirdwideweb]

I reported my boss to HR for discrimination last week. Please tell me if I'm crazy.

My old boss got promoted so around October I got a new supervisor. We've been coworkers for about 5 years and had a friendly relationship. I'd been to her house, met her kids, we chit chatted a lot. When she started approving my time cards she noticed I was using about 3-5 hours of PTO per week at random times. I explained this was an informal arrangement I had with my previous supervisor due to my disability. I have C-PTSD and ADHD which honestly make it difficult to get through the day pretty much every day. Sometimes I need more breaks and if I'm using my PTO and being honest, who cares right? Well the new supervisor cared. She told me that if I couldn't be a full time employee they couldn't justify our headcount and my job was on the line unless I made this a formal arrangement. I was really hurt but I did it, I got all the doctors notes together and figured--while I'm formalizing it, I actually do need extra therapy so I'm gonna make my FMLA (family medical leave act) time include these sessions.

All this is approved obviously because one thing I'm not is self diagnosed. I've got medical records a mile high. So starting in January this official leave time goes into effect and I can use up to 7 hours of PTO per week. Before all this began my supervisor consistently praised me as a "rockstar" employee, saying I was the only person on the team who truly follows the rules. In general I was thought of as an excellent worker and had received a promotion. The team that I lead smashed our goals for 2023. But, strangely, once I start the FMLA my supervisor begins complaining about my lack of productivity. I kept a spreadsheet as a tool for my ADHD where I tracked how I was spending my time so I volunteered to let her see it so she could figure it out. Instead of sending the spreadsheet tracking my work in 5 minute increments once or twice, this woman has had me sending it every week for the past 7 months. Every Monday we have our 1:1 and she lets me know how poorly I'm doing. She also sends me an email on Mondays where she counts every email I have in my inbox, every claim I have across multiple programs, every minute of meetings I have scheduled and sends me the amount of time she expects it to take and if I don't make it then we have to talk about my "problems".

Now I'm practically never making it. I've appealed to her and to her boss so many times that there is something wrong with this formula they've come up with to calculate my workload--and they both just think I'm lying. Long story short in May I started measuring my time not on the spreadsheet but by the individual tasks in the email and not only am I keeping up, but there's a full 5-6 hours of work every week that she hasn't been counting (including 3 hours talking on the phone---with her!). I bring this up at our 1:1 in late May and say, See there really is something wrong with your measurement. I'm right on track productivity wise with these tasks. She doesn't acknowledge at all the flaw I've found in her formula but DOES say, "I do think there's been an improvement in your productivity and I expect it will continue to improve as you get more therapy." Full on MASK OFF. So my "productivity issues" are improved by therapy, meaning she's been ascribing those issues to my disability. Incredible.

I go to HR the next day to have this interaction on the record. First time I've gone to HR about anything ever. They are so concerned that they are going to launch an investigation and I tearfully plead with them not to because my boss's boss is out on medical leave and I don't want to cause huge problems while she's away and can't moderate. I didn't realize it would automatically cause an investigation to report this. The lady takes pity on me and says they won't investigate for now.

The VERY NEXT DAY my supervisor tells us in a team meeting (other people there to witness) that she's got a funny story about her son. It's some innocent story about how he's grounded and can't go to a party, but she continues on by talking about how she has to be extra strict with him because he has ADHD. If she doesn't enforce consequences, he'll never learn! And he has to learn because when he grows up his boss isn't going to take his ADHD as an excuse. "Policies are policies" she said, "Your boss isn't going to accept an answer like I know I was supposed to do four things but I only got to three because...." She even went further talking about how he's having trouble learning to drive because of his ADHD and just laughing about it. When he has to do something, she says, she has to remind him multiple times and set timers and double check with him otherwise he'll forget.

So I'm fucking flabbergasted at this point, right? This whole time I've been feeling like this time tracking is discriminatory and here she is just spelling it out for me in neon letters: YES, IT ACTUALLY IS. So I'm biding my time until her boss gets back from medical leave. But after 3 weeks of showing her that her method is flawed she tells me I don't have to do the spreadsheet anymore. Her boss is back but cancelled our first meeting, so I figure: If the bullshit stops, for the sake of my career and mental health I'm gonna let this go. My supervisor goes on vacation for 2 weeks. I'm doing my work exactly as I want to without the added pressure and everything is going great.

Once she gets back though we have our 1:1 and she asks me where my emails were on the 2 past Fridays telling her if I got all my work done. Which she never asked me to do, btw. Reader---I mcfreakin lost it. I belligerently asked why this was still necessary, that I felt picked on and bullied, that she isn't doing this to anyone else on the team, and that I'm sick and tired of constantly being demoralized by her leadership. I told her that I was going to talk to her boss directly about this situation. She was pissed. She actually unfriended me on facebook which for middle aged women is like throwing a grenade.

Next day I talk to her boss. I bring my evidence because of course I've been taking notes. The situation is serious. HR has become involved. And just because there are anti-retaliatory rules for reporting protected concerns doesn't actually protect me from getting fired. Suddenly I'm fearful about everything. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job and my health insurance, bye bye therapy,, bye bye surgery I need. I've been at this job 6 years and the animosity is at an all time high. Christ almighty.

[twiishaa]

come here, mafuyu chan full fic because the og creator deleted it 💔

for ml @strxwberriiwithchocolate 💞😻

disclaimer i did NOT write this !!! credits to original writer !! this is just the infamous proseka meme 😻😻😻😻😻

I don't belong in this world, I'm just a waste of space. I'm just someone that happens to be here. I start sobbing. "*sob* I can't do anything! I'm just stupid and lazy! I can't do it! I don't want to try!!!"

My sobbing slowly turns into crying. I can't focus anymore. I leave my additional homework sitting on the desk. I can't even bother to take it off. Who even cares that it's there?. I land on my bed, crying. It's Friday afternoon and I'm crying. I shouldn't be crying.

I shouldn't be crying, this day is supposed to be happy and an amazing day. Yet, I'm still crying. I don't want to bother my online friends, I really don't want to.

"Mafuyu! I came here to gi-"

I slowly raise my head up. What a great time to be here, Akito. He's holding a little sack with some food inside. I don't feel like eating, I feel like dying.

"Go away"

"Mafuyu, I won't”

Akito keeps looking at me. I can't help but look at his eyes. They're beautiful and brave. Mine are wet, from the tears I just shed before.

"Mafuyu, I don't want those pretty eyes to be wet for tears, here"

Akito hands me a napkin. Why is he here? He's supposed to be playing videogames right now. He always plays them on Fridays. Yet, he's here. I place the napkin on my face and wipe off my tears. With him, I somehow immediately feel better.

"Hey, you know I always spend the Friday afternoon and night playing videogames with the rest of my friends, but today I want to spend it with my cute girlfriend Mafuyu"

"c-cute?"

My mouth rises up. I smile softly at his words. I almost never smile when I'm alone. When I'm in the sekai, with Miku. I never smile. Yet now I only feel like smiling.

"Your smile looks so pretty, you should smile more. I have some good, let's eat it in here and pretend we're having a picnic"

"This is..very nice of you, Akito-kun"

We place the sheet on the ground of my room. I turn on the lights.

"Hey, do you want to go outside, Mafuyu?"

"S-Sure! Let's go!"

This is the first the time I feel genuinely happy to go outside, especially when it's just with a person I care about. We now place the sheet in the garden's grass. The sun's light flashes on us, Akito's eyes are the prettiest in the sun. We place the food on the sheet.

"P-Pancakes.."

"Do you not like them?"

"Oh, of course I do, Akito-kun!" Akito laughs.

"I know you're used eating cheesecakes with Ena, right?"

"Yes, I do. But I wanna try this"

I grab the pancake with a fork and pop it into my mouth. The pancake is full of flavor. The chocolate that was put on it makes the flavor double, the sprinkles even more. It's the first time I see a pancake with chocolate on it. It tastes amazingly.

Soon after me, Akito eats his own pancake.

"Do you like them, Mafuyu?"

"They're..exceptional..I love them"

Akito smiles and giggles. We finished our pancakes soon and he pulls out some mountain dew and orange juice.

"Which do you want?"

"Oh, I'll take the orange juice"

"Hehe,I knew it"

I drink my orange juice. This feels just too nice, I don't know if I've ever been this happy. We chit chat about our bands and it's nighttime now.

"Hey, Mafuyu. Let's go at mines, Ena is at Tsukasa's house and my parents are at work, no one can see us!"

"Let's go, Akito"

We both hold each other's hands and head over to Akito's house. We enter and change. (I wear Akito's comfy sweater and pants to sleep)

"Mafuyu,you look so cute, in my clothing"

"Thank you. Before we go to sleep, c-can we...uh.."

"Yes?"

"Akito-kun, I want to hug you"

Akito giggles.

"Sure, come here, Mafuyu-chan"

Akito holds me and we cuddle in the sheets. My head is on his chest, as he pats me softly. And smiles, sometimes he giggles cutely. It's so comfy, the sheets are so warm.

He hugs me and I can't help but smile all out. He's too cute. He starts reaching for something on his desk.

He pulls out some air pods. He puts the left air pod on my ears and the right one on his. So they match our positions. He smiles at me and I smile back. That means we both agree to listen to some music before we go to sleep.

The music is calming and the piano notes are very nice. The song is a "Nocturne" by the composer Chopin.

The night sky travels though Akito's windows and the light of the stars shines on us, we look at each other and I quickly steal him a kiss on the lips, he kisses me back, as the night slowly starts to become dark and we fall asleep.

[nemesyaaa]

chit chat talk on my thoughts about momma's rafe with mommy issues, it's clearly messy and long, guys but if you're curious i'm here <33 and why i think this rafe will fear the idea of love / and a big loser with a lot of issues (and why i'm a rafe apologist). nobody ask tho, so feel free to ignore

i really like to speculate on the fact that rafe is a momma’s boy, and i actually think that he has more mommy issues than daddy issues. for me all his attitude, this excess anger, this need for validation and approval, these insecurities, this rage and violence, his lack of consideration/communication and perspective, this inability to think before acting, this madness at the interior comes more from the loss of his mother than from the toxic presence of his father. but is anyone interested?

anyways, I'm still going to confess about it because I need to talk about this. I'm one of those who think that Rafe had a good relationship with his mother, good enough that it affected the person he is today. I'm sure she saved him from all the difficulties, never allowed him to think he was wrong, to face his actions, or to consider the seriousness of what he could do. and as a result, she did not allow him to solve his problems for himself, to see the wrong/bad in his actions.

— he ALWAYS thinks that what he is doing is right, that other people are the problem. rafe never thinks he's the problem. if he has to blame anyone, it will NEVER be him. and this is often the result given by a momma's boy when he becomes a grown man. what i mean is that rafe is not really a pathetic loser, but more emotionally immature, you know? he thinks he is important enough for the world to adjust to his expectations. that there will always be someone behind to save him.

and obviously, that explains one of his notable traits. THE GRUDGE. rafe is a resentful person who doesn't accept being stood up to him whether he is at fault or not. just as he refuses criticism. he responds to criticism and refusal with violence or withdrawal, and this is currently his only way of communication. men with mommy issues don't often express themselves, about what they really think, and most of the time, because we've never let them talk about it. They've gotten used to keeping it inside them until they explode, and when they explode, we know what it's look like. they do not like to hear that they are wrong, nor to hear from others that they have faults. they were brooded by very protective and controlling mothers who made them completely unstable men, and incapable of having healthy relationships, and balanced behavior, by the dependence that they triggered in their son.

— i also think that if rafe will never recognize his wrongs, it is because he is certain that it makes him weak, or that it makes him a failure. and for him, this idea is inconceivable. (rafe + toxic masculinity = match.)

so, unpopular opinion, but i don't think rafe should have a relationship with anyone on the show, it would ruin his character. but in my momma's boy world, I would find it impossible to establish a relationship, or at least HEALTHY, with him. because his opinion on women is rather controversial. I don't see him loving anyone, and if that were to happen, it would be very harmful for him, and for the person. already his vision of women in the series

(even from a sister, well….). men with mother issues are often very dismissive of women, don't care how they can hurt them, often speak very disrespectfully or rudely about them. This does not mean that they cannot have relationships with them, nor fall in love, but only that they have more difficulty respecting a woman who does not meet their high standards. very Freud, but for them, the perfect woman is a woman like their mother (I don't know if you know what I mean.) But momma's boys idealize their mothers, they are the figures who created them, goddesses who are always right and who are constantly there for them. and literally perfect.

so the REASONS WHY I THINK RAFE CANNOT HAVE LOVELY RELATIONSHIPS IN THE SERIES/IN MY MOMMA’S BOY RAFE CODED is because his standards are TOO high and not necessarily respectful towards the woman. If you know what I mean.

he was pampered by his mother throughout his childhood. he expects the same behavior from his girlfriend/wife. This is why he will turn more towards a woman who is not independent, or who has too many expectations on him.

so can you imagine a relationship with this rafe?? you're going to have to deal with a lot of conflicts. because know that you will never be enough for him. there will always be something wrong. and it will ALWAYS, I mean it, ALWAYS be your fault.

rafe will clearly be toxic because he will always need to be reassured, to know where you are, who you are with. and no matter how many times you tell him, he'll need to see it for himself. he doesn't trust you, even if you are his girlfriend, you will have to work hard to have his respect and even his trust. you will clearly have to excel, but above all, don't dare criticize him, never point out his faults. because he will have anger issues, and you will be the one and only or victim.

OH AND SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU but this Rafe will probably cheat on you more than once, and especially with different women, because one is not enough, but above all they will all have different roles in his life. not have the same importance, the same action in his daily life. a man with mommy issues will have cheating tendencies, he may have a woman for sex, a woman for emotional support, a woman completely opposite to his standards. a man with mommy issues, both needs someone, but also needs “substitute” people. “. to be honest dkzdizi, he needs to USE women. I know it's triggering but it's the truth.

so you will have to deal with the void that his mother left, good luck 💀💀💀

SECOND REASON, the idea of a relationship would TERRIFY RAFE. I'm not trying to victimize him, but I really think RAFE would HATE THE IDEA OF A RELATIONSHIP, because he would feel trapped. really. it's too intimate for him.

but at the same time, I like to think that he wants to be loved. or at least to be understood, because I honestly think that even he doesn't really understand what's wrong with him. he acts by instinct. These are his reflexes. and it hurts my heart this need for validation, I think his mother's departure was one of the worst events of his life. because he was never really close to his father. and now he had everything to prove to him. after his mother left, he had to continue to be important, to play a role, to satisfy someone.

but how do we go from a loving parental figure to one who is totally indifferent?

WHY IS RAFE A BIT OF A LOSER IN ANY SORT? oh yes, you also like this confidence that he has, which makes you believe that he is really super mean and terrible? but above all he is someone who is very anxious, whiny and in dire need of validation. sorry but all of Rafe's esteem is literally based on what people think of him, especially ward. (in the first seasons anyway.) he needs constant approval, he needs to be looked at and heard, too bad if people think he's crazy. he needs attention, bad or good.

behind all this rage, he needs to be reassured and to hear that he is a good boy. and speaking of which, i think his mommy issues also explain his conflicted relationship with rose cameron.

and i also have to say that rafe's relationships are based solely on his self esteem, and it shows with topper and kelce. +barry. but mostly with the trio. he needs relationships where he feels privileged and valued. but be careful, I'm not saying that rafe is incapable of creating connections, but who will create relationships THAT BENEFIT HIM ONLY. So the idea of Rafe being friends with a pogue is not impossible, but he would need a reason to trust this person.

MOMMA’S BOY!RAFE is very toxic, because there is no equality for him. for him, it is very clear, men and women are not at the same level. and , it seems like I hate Rafe but I swear I adore him, I find him super interesting and I love talking about him, but I have to tell the truth, because it shows in the way he treats women. he clearly has issues with that. but if I can reassure you, not only do I think he feels superior to women, but to the MEN around him, generally.

in general life he is also very toxic because he is jealous. I told you he was an emotionally immature but above all human loser. that is, people's success clearly prevents him from being happy. what's more, it doesn't help his self-esteem, and it doesn't flatter his ego. support others? no way. the triumph of others robs him of his own glory, his own success. he thinks the world is unfair every time, although let's be clear he is very privileged, but like I told you, this Rafe feels very important

I talk a lot but his mother was the first woman who loved him, who made him understand that he was important, who gave him this feeling of “confidence”. to finish because it becomes very long, we can think that he has no feelings, that he feels nothing, that the loss does not grieve him, but that is very false. on the contrary, he suffers very deeply inside. mommy issues are very serious in men, especially when they become adults and have to face real problems, but this time, all ALONE.

This Rafe is very sensitive and delicate. i actually have a lot of thoughts about this. I'm so curious about the story with his mother, and it would provide so many answers about this behavior. note that I am speculating, and that perhaps this is all false but I like to think so. if you read, thank you very much, it’s a pleasure!!!!😭😭😭😭

[escapist-of-fiction]

Title: Let the games begin. Pairing: Troy Otto x OC Evie

Summary: Lots of these one shot scenes take place in the infirmary on the Ranch, potentially other locations further down the line. Pre-apocalypse Evie was a med student in her third year, so knew enough to adopt this role when she arrived. Troy is obviously a regular visitor because, well, he's Troy and he's one, hot mess and chaos seems to follow him around. I guess this is the beginning of their slow burn relationship. Up until this point, Evie and Troy had not really had a reason to speak to each other or spend time together. All it takes is one small decision, and the rest is history.

Dislaimer: I will use characters from the Fear The Walking Dead series and some details from the show but that's as far as it goes really. This will mostly be an original plot. ---------------------------------------------------------------

It had been forty eight hours since the Militia had left the ranch and, when Evie had bumped into Jake during lunch earlier that day, he had seemed unperturbed by the group's absence.

"Evie, this is a regular thing. Troy goes off on idiotic missions to satisfy his curiosity. Things take a little longer than planned." He paused, forkful of pasta halfway to his mouth as he eyed her suspiciously, "Why do you care so much?"

She tried to ignore it but Evie could hear the underlying tone of 'who do you care about?' as well. Placing her hands on her hips, she scowled and answered without so much as skipping a beat,

"As resident Medic, amongst other job roles, surely it's my duty to care?" Jake immediately smiled in surrender.

"Point taken. Listen, if I know Troy as well as I do, he'll have them back by sundown."

-----------

On the quiet days, everyone milled around the ranch completing their jobs, busying themselves with idle chit chat. Evie, personally hated those days. Time moved incredibly slowly and it gave her too much time to think, about what could have been and what the future held. A monotonous task, like taking a medical supply inventory and basing herself in the medic tent, kept her occupied until the familiar skidding of tyres on gravel sounded at the main gate. Listening carefully, she heard the regular shouts of greeting from friends and family alike. No one sounded like they were raising the alarm for any emergencies. She continued with her job, seemingly satisfied with the outcome.

She found the Militia still unloading the trucks a little while later. Evie nodded at a few of the more familiar faces, hauling barrels off the back of a truck,

"Where did you end up this time?" She asked. George, one of the older and more established members of the Militia paused to fill her in,

"We went a bit further afield, past the two main towns, found an abandoned warehouse. It must have been a clothes supplier once upon a time. Then Troy decided it would be a good idea to chase down a herd." Evie nodded in understanding, she knew how that story always ended and didn't need him to finish. She sighed.

"Where is he now?"

"He headed towards the pantry with Jake. We managed to raid a store on our way back."

With a little nod, Evie headed in that direction, her pace quickening as she got nearer overhearing raised voices. Jake and Troy stood facing one another, deep in their heated discussion, surrounded by the boxes of supplies that they had just carried across the yard. Jake was staring furiously at Troy, who looked almost bemused by his brother's overreaction.

"Christ, Troy. What were you thinking?" Jake hissed, gesturing wildly in the trucks' direction, "They are our people, they have families. We don't go searching for danger for the hell of it. Do that on your own time!"

Troy scuffed his boot in the dirt and folded his arms across his chest indignantly before responding,

"Stick to being the house wife of this ranch, Jakey. What I do with the Militia on our missions is my business." A smug sense of satisfaction washed over Troy as he watched his brother twitch in annoyance. He didn't like this 'tit for tat' arguing but his brother's constant need to be the responsible one riled him to no end.

Evie could see this had hit a nerve with Jake instantly so decided it might be a good time to take it upon herself and interrupt them.

Up until now, neither of them had been aware of Evie's presence, so her sudden approach startled them both and distracted them from the heat of the moment, fortunately.

"What's wrong?" Jake huffed, hoping nothing serious had happened but equally looking for a reason to walk away from his brother before he really lost it with him. Evie felt she needed to think quickly for an answer or it would seem a bit odd that she had approached them in the first instance. She wasnt even sure why she had gone to seek Troy out in the first place. She found a reason soon enough as she cast a glance over Troy, who was staring at her inquisitively.

"You need that wound treated," she said, pointledly nodding at his hand that he had obviously tried patching up himself, which was now dripping with blood. Troy lifted his hand dismissively,

"This old thing? It'll be fine once I've washed up." Evie marched up to him and grabbed his wounded arm, holding it up for inspection. This bold movement from the medic, stunned both men into silence. Evie wasn't known for her forwardness, in fact, it was rare to see her outside of the infirmary at all most days.

"By my reckoning, you treated this wound yourself and you've done a terrible job of it. So unless you want it to get infected? Infirmary now." Evie didn't wait for a response from Troy. She simply took a hold of his good hand and pulled him in the direction of the medical tent, leaving Jake staring after them, a little perplexed.

Neither of them spoke at first. Evie tapped the empty bed and Troy hopped up obediently. She began to unwrap a roll of gauze and make a solution to disinfect the wound. He watched her every move carefully, enjoying the way Evie's nimble fingers treated his injury with effortless care. Evie, on the other hand, was completely unaware of Troy watching her, she was too engrossed with the task in hand. She unwrapped the scrappy fabric, now caked in dried blood, that he had twisted around the cut to stop the bleeding. She threw it in the nearby bin and held Troy's hand up to study it carefully in the daylight that was now seeping in through the tent's doorway as the afternoon reached it's peak.

"You know I could have sorted this out myself back home..." Pausing the careful treatment of his hand, Evie locked eyes with Troy, an eyebrow raised as she responded,

"You're welcome?" Her sarcasm earned a wry smile from Troy.

"You know that's not what I meant. As much as I'm enjoying this little Florence Nightingale routine, I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this treatment. Other than being a dick to my brother back there."

"Well," Evie began, winding the bandage around Troy's hand tight enough to watch him wince ever so slightly, "as I said to your brother earlier; it is my duty to care for everyone - even stubborn, reluctant patients like yourself." She lifted her gaze from Troy's hand and found him staring at her intently. Evie felt the heat to rise to her cheeks. "Anyway, " she babbled on, "You are in charge of the ranch and we kind of need you alive in order to keep it running. Sort of." She placed Troy's hand gently down at his side. "There. That's you all patched up."

Troy turned his hand over, seemingly impressed with her handy work.

"Thanks Medic. Permission to leave?" A tiny smile spread across Evie's face at Troy's gentle teasing.

"Permission granted," she said, playing along with a little chuckle, stepping aside to let him past. She soon realised that there wasn't a lot of room in the Medic tent as Troy sidled past her so closely that his body briefly brushed up against Evie's.

What was most alarming was how her body reacted to the physical contact with Troy, however fleeting it may have been. She watched him lift the canvas and duck out of the tent, stepping into the sunlight and she exhaled slowly, realising she had been holding her breath. She waited for the tingling sensation in her stomach to subside, a mixed feeling of confusion and realisation washing over her.

And it was in that moment that it dawned on Evie...she was falling for Troy Otto.

[lotus02lavish]

Kinda worried that u didn't get my request cuz I got a notif Abt it and it was soon deleted I think, I'll just send it here again lmao Ivor and how he acts around his crush in case you didn't get it hh

[ Hello, hello! I apologize that your previous ask is suddenly disappearing after an error 😭 ]

➳ Minecraft Story Mode (MCSM) // Ivor Season 1 (Adventure Pass) and 2 (Ninja!) // Headcanons // Romantic! ✍🏻

{A Whole New World With You and Me}

《 Crush! Ivor x Gn! Reader 》

*ੈ✩‧₊˚︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡ ˚₊꒷˚︶ɞ₊˚︶︶꒷꒦˚⊹๑‧₊ ᘏ ︶꒷︶₊·*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ︶

"Long live my Lava House! Long live lava!"

Weirdly, Ivor acts shy, nervous, becomes the softest bitch, as well more excited than he usually feels when his crush is near him. Although Jesse had given him the tips to stay cool and not be entirely himself, this eccentric man is Impossible to avoid having those manners.

"My friend, Jesse. I have a crush on someone. HOW DO I GET RID OF IT?"

"Do you mean by stop liking this person or make that fellow go away permanently?"

"Yes." 😃

In the event that you are not around him, Ivor speaks of how stunning and magnificent you are to Jesse and over again until he is out of breath to explain.

There are three choices available for Jesse to interrupt Ivor so he stays quiet and would not continue ranting forever and ever:

1.꒱ Teasing him that he has a crush on you =

"Awww, Ivor. Just admit it, you have a crush on [Name]! You really like them."

"Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about. And What do you mean I have a crush on [NAME]?! That's nonsense!"

2.꒱ Encourage him confessed his love to you =

"C'mon, Ivor! I know you can say to [Name] that you love them very much. After all, you've also explained a long paragraph about [Name] for hours."

Ivor sighed, "I don't want [Name] and I feeling uncomfortable with each other."

3.꒱ Make him feel panic when you are around =

Jesse called out your name, "IVOR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!"

"NO, JESSE, WAIT! OOOOH, NOOOOOOOOOO-"

It is obvious to understand that Ivor is a man who will never admit his feelings to anyone and still be caring. Despite a million butterflies flying inside Ivor while wondering if all of the romance matter seeing you makes sense to him, he is getting closer to obtaining despair by free any day now.

No matter what you need help from Ivor, he sincerely helps you with no complaints. Let me do it for u 🎹 Didn't I do it for u? For instance: Teaching you how to create potions, showing the proper and perfect tutorials to build a lava house and bridge, etc other important lessons. Both of you are literally lab partners in crime. >:3

If anyone mocks or belittles you, Ivor will defend you and use his words to repay those mean bullies sadistically. Their reactions are gasping or crying. This is his natural weapon of pride to use as a poet.

【 "There will come a poet Whose weapon is His word He will slay you with His tongue Oh lei, oh lai, oh, Lord." 】

When you need to get the stories out of your mind and chest about what happened (gossip, trauma, and normal chit-chat), Ivor does not mind hearing you out and giving sassy or sarcastic yet wise advises.

"Ivor, you're the only one who understands me."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I care."

You have the ability to reduce Ivor's grumpiness and keep him calm, preventing him from continuing to yell even louder at everyone he sees.

Ivor does not ever stop his goofy behavior since he knows it makes you laugh and smile to cure your sadness.

If you ever catch Ivor in bridal style to prevent him from falling to the solid ground and you told this crazy man that his weight is light as a feather, he will giggle uncontrollably to himself like a schoolgirl.

From that moment forward, Ivor finds plenty of excuses in a dramatic way that he tells you to hold him in your arms again:

↳ "Oh, I don't race so much anymore. Bad, heh, bad knees. Sweet [Name], could you save me and take me to that faraway place, pretty please!"

↳ "Oh great, a run for my life. Just what I was hoping for! Not that I completely need [Name] to carry me from this life-and-death situation."

Ivor feels very embarrassed when you see him not wearing his 'adventuring' clothes.

"Don't look at me with those eyes!" Thereafter, his friends (Bombastic & Criminal offensive) side-eyed him and let him know with a visible sign that his words bothered you. "What I meant to say was," Ivor clears his throat as he twirls his hair, "are you staring at me because my outfit breathes wonderfully?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡ ˚₊꒷˚︶ɞ₊˚︶︶꒷꒦˚⊹๑‧₊ ᘏ ︶꒷︶₊·*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"I’m a ninja now. You’d be surprised just how deadly I can be."

【[《{(꒰< Warning topic: Yandere behavior! >꒱)}》]】

Ivor has a hobby of sending you daily poems, words of admiration, your favorite flower(s), love letters, and stories about how he's been doing lately at your doorstep or mailbox without writing his name. However, the lapis lazuli inside the mail is a hint, giving away his secret identity easily and without a doubt.

Master Shadow has taught Ivor to focus and clear his mind on doing endless housework for the rest of his time as a ninja in training and not get distracted by thinking about you every day and night.

Ivor thought his 'crush' phase had finally faded elsewhere. Except for the moment you hug him tightly and say, out of the blue: "I miss seeing you each day so dearly, beloved dork." Yep, you shoot the Ninja with the bang-bang to the heart once again, causing his head to explode into red color.

In the past, Ivor used to gaze for a long time at you when you were not looking and refused to admit he was smiling at you, which he turned away and blushed. At present, Ivor is caught 4k staring at you with a helpless smile that puts him in a trance. He does not deny it this time. <3

These days, Ivor habitually keeps his distance from you and plays hard to get, the suggestion by Petra that he should give it a try to keep in ninja (mysterious and quiet) character for gaining more attention from you. Afterward, the masked hero does not continue to act like that anymore when he realizes you are confused and guilty.

"I hope you can forgive me if I did and say something that hurt your feelings."

"It's nothing you should worry about, really! This is supposed to be my responsibility to offer an apology to you. I was not at my best self."

The deadly intrusive thoughts in Ivor's head submit to reality, and jealousy strikes the best of him when he spots someone else having a crush, flirting, or even hurting you; he is calling dibs and keeping the inventory first to himself when the corpse is *POOF*!

If you want Ivor to train with you and make him fight like a man, he is reconsidering sparring so as to not hurt you in the process.

Sometimes, Ivor is creepy in the fact he spies/stalks on you to keep you safe and sound. The Ninja often uses the long-lasting potion of invisibility while casually walking or running beside you. At the time you notice him and ask: "Why, when, what, and how are you here?", he informs you: "Like I don't have anything better to do than spying on you. Wait, I actually don't. 😳 SMOKE BOMB!" Then, he fails miserably to disappear from out of your sight, "You didn't hear anything from me. Got it? I'm not here anymore."

One fateful day, Ivor is no longer a ninja, and before it is too late, Ivor will finally have the courage to communicate with you and he reveal his secret: that he thinks of you as more than just a friend in terms romantic feelings, also inviting you to go on random adventures with him and help him in his efforts to mend the divide among his old friends.

.ೃ࿐˚ ༘♡ ·˚₊˚ˑ༄ Bonus Scenarios ₊ˑ༄ ˚ ༘♡ ·˚.ೃ࿐:

For real that Lukas would write fanfiction about Ivor as a TSUNDERE and YANDERE man, and you are his beloved senpai. This blond boy's work of the story is classified and never will be read aloud to the public.

Lukas wins the bet that Ivor in the end confessing his love to you and you accept his feelings; Petra owes the Ocelot boy four iron.

Petra does not know what is the reason you also love someone like Ivor, of all the single individuals than can be chosen in the world? You definitely have a weird taste in people.

"Because he makes me laugh." You replied.

The warrior rolled her eyes and groaned, "No kidding, and sure, that's what all of them who like Ivor would say." 😒

"Okay, you got me there. 😔🎹 But, that is not a crime."

*ੈ✩‧˚ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡ ˚₊꒷˚︶ɞ₊˚︶︶꒷꒦˚⊹๑‧₊ ᘏ ︶꒷︶₊·*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ︶

despair - leo.

"I've lost my cool, I'm not sure how to act

Not even sure how I can keep my pride intact

Well, I don't know if this is it, but can't you see?

No, I'm not falling for you, so please have mercy on me."

[kavehnanginto]

encounter

07: yes or yes!

"You are a lost cause in the case of logic and Mathematics," he sighed as you stood there thinking about how disappointed he looks at you. It was a normal sight for you now. "Actually I wanted to discuss about something to you, I was about to talk about this in our next tutor session however in this environment, it is absolutely perfect to talk about."

What?

The moment was disrupted by a single phone call and now you were left all alone. Damn.

"Kaveh, yes I haven't eaten them. Yes they are fully clothed. Mhm they are indeed not being a 'bitch in heat' or whatever you say..."

Angry murmurs can be heard on the other side of the phone and you can only expect that Alhaitham's ears are starting to bleed. But what can you really do when you don't even know what Kaveh is talking about?

They were bickering for a while and you were starting to get sleepy. But holding tight to your subconscious you overheard something.

"Yes we are, what did you say again? Dating? Yeah we are doing that right now mhm..."

I'm fucking screwed...

Books fell out of order when you grabbed his expensive phone, not caring if it breaks atleast your dignity will be saved. Scaramouche is gonna absolutely destroy you and bully you for years because of this.

"Hello... Kaveh. What Alhaitham said was..."

"The truth." He was relieved to see his phone still in one piece when he grabbed it from you. "Now go off and do some chit chat with Faruzan or something."

As he placed the phone on the floor he then went ahead and opened the lights. For an hour now you had to read using scented candles.

"All this time there was light? How did you even have access here?"

"I own this place." He casually mumbled and finally sat on his chair, the very same one he used when we first tutored. "Now where was I?"

"Did you just forget that you told Kaveh we were dating?"

"What's wrong with that?" His eyes were on you and even as you looked at every other thing in the room his eyes stayed frozen.

"Do you even know what date means?"

His eyebrows furrowed by such confidence regarding intelligence and knowledge of spelling for someone who can't even spell tyranosaurose rex.

"I might expect this question from someone like Faruzan or your friend with smoky eyeshadow and a mess of a haircut but not someone as dumb as you. Of course I know what dating means."

You sighed in relief and then thought out loud.

"Wait why the fuck would you say that to your blond chick then?"

"Because we are, atleast they think we are."

And finally you remember the warning and advice that Scaramouche gave you, and how he was indeed correct. Again. You had to use it now or else you're screwed. How can you have a chance eating a piece of ass from those hotties in Liyue when you are dating the loner that nobody likes... and everyone is obsessed with for some reason?

"And just about now that stupid gossip account will update..."

You heard your phone ring the next second.

He wanted to play that game, huh.

"Can you call Kaveh and say what you said was absolutely insane and... bullshit and not true?!"

"Oh just deal with it, I haven't told you why I even said that—"

"Atleast what I'll be saying is true..." you grabbed your phone and was about to type something. "Cal him back again or else..."

"You'll tell them what happened in Mondstadt?"

He again grabbed your phone and gently placed it on the floor, his steps were as calm as ever.

YOU WANTED YOUR SECOND YEAR OF COLLEGE TO BE BETTER THAN THIS. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THAT?

"Let's see who will be more likely to suffer between the both of us." He sighed and wanted you to think rationally. "I may have not minded Kaveh's reputation of being my whore, but not you."

He pulled out his book and made you sat down next to him. If you had a knife that moment you don't know who you would rather kill first.

"I need you for something you see."

encounter: prev. masterlist. next.

alhaitham x reader smau

synopsis: after alhaitham accepted to tutor his token dumb classmate, the whole school started rumors and gossip to the unknown reason as to why while you were stuck dealing with him after that embarrassing encounter.

taglist: @annathea-annoona @aixaingela @mimimimiaphwsgi @no3hg3nshin @winterpein @crowbird @aloversoath @liminalimmortal @mochicurls21

note: are you enjoying this or something please i need reassurance

[askbensolo]

Journal Entry #44: one stayed, one swayed, one strayed

So I may have made a mistake. Amalia and I had planned a holocall to catch up (because I suck at replying to messages), and...I asked if she wanted to see Fannie, too. Since she’s here and everything.

I knew Amalia hadn’t spoken to Fannie or Luke for a long time. But they always ask me how she’s doing, since I’m the only one she still talks to. They clearly still care about her, even if she doesn’t think so. I don’t know—I just figured I’d ask.

And much to my surprise…she agreed. As long as I was going to be there, she said.

And you know what? It actually started out okay. Like I said…Amalia’s a lot more mellow now. She’s still herself, in the same way that I’m still me despite not being an emo boi anymore—but she does seem to care about people more, and there’s just more light in her eyes when she engages with you.

There was some chit-chat between me and Fannie and Amalia about what we’ve all been up to. I was feeling really proud of Mal. I know she’s got some issues with the Jedi and everything, and it must have taken a lot for her to be willing to talk to Fannie again.

What I don’t understand, is that Fannie must have known that too. So...I was shocked when Fannie just...went for the throat, and asked Amalia if she still didn't want to be a Jedi.

I think I mentioned to you how Amalia has developed some different beliefs on the Force. She thinks the Force must be a person rather than a thing. Like…some sort of divine spiritual being, I guess. And again, I say: don’t ask me about that stuff—not my lane, buddy. I just live here.

All I know is, she seems happier this way, thinking of the Force as someone who cares about her, and I thought Fannie would be happy for her, too. I mean…I am. But...she wasn't.

“Amalia…the Force isn’t a person,” Fannie said, sounding confused. “The Jedi have never believed the Force is a person.”

“Well, that’s why I’m not a Jedi,” said Amalia.

“The Jedi have passed down their ancient knowledge and wisdom for centuries. Do you really think they were all incorrect?”

“The Jedi have also passed down many mistakes and corrupt practices,” Amalia countered. “They were incorrect in that. Who’s to say there weren’t other things they got wrong? Or things that got twisted along the way? The Jedi were mortal. The Force is not. I follow the Force now, Fannie. Not the Jedi.”

“The Jedi do follow the Force,” Fannie argued. “The Jedi Order, despite its failings, has been a firm foundation for many years for all who would follow the Force—”

“All? Or just those with a high enough Force sensitivity?” Amalia asked.

“Well, yes, I suppose the life of a Jedi is specifically for those with a special ability to sense the Force, like you and I,” Fannie conceded, “but isn’t that all the more reason why you should have stayed? You were given a gift. It seems a shame to waste it."

"You just said someone gave me a gift," pressed Amalia. "Who did, if not a person?"

You know me. I’m all for debating the esoteric. But I was starting to get a little stressed about them fighting. One of them was a good friend because she shared my darker sense of humor and the feeling of being kind of an outcast. And one of them I was kinda hoping would be my girlfriend soon.

"Okay, ladies, break it up," I said. "I mean, come on. Who can really know anything about the Force for sure?"

"Every one of us can, if we seek to know the Force," said Amalia, with the urgency of one sharing a profound revelation.

"The Jedi know the Force," said Fannie, with the zeal of one defending a sacred institution. "They have studied it for generations."

"Why don't you guys just accept that you, you know, each see things a little differently, and move on?" I suggested, with the pragmatism of one who’d given up trying to understand the galaxy a long time ago. "It seems to be working out great for each of you, even if you guys believe different things. And who knows, maybe both of you are kind of right."

Amazingly enough, then they both turned on me.

"We can't both be right, Solo," Amalia said. "Our beliefs about the Force are pretty mutually exclusive."

"There is only one truth," agreed Fannie. "Your eyes couldn't be brown and blue at the same time."

"Well, what if I had one eye that was brown, and one eye that was blue, and each of you were sitting on either side of me—" I started to say, but as clever as I thought this little parable was, it did not go over well with the girls.

"Oh please. Not that 'blind men and the bantha' crap," Amalia groaned.

"There would still be only one truth—that you had a brown eye and a blue eye, rather than fully brown or fully blue—and both of us would be wrong," Fannie said.

"Okaaay," I said, "but you'd still both be half right—"

"Which would still make us both wrong," Amalia said.

"Look, is it really that important what the Force is or isn't like?" I asked impatiently.

"Yes!" Fannie and Amalia said at the same time.

"The Force is the giver of all life, watching over us, working all events toward our good, loving us despite our darkness, giving us the will and the strength to do what's right," said Amalia. "I didn't know how to have hope or joy or love for myself or anyone else, until I discovered that the Force made me on purpose and gives a damn about me."

"The Force is the energy that flows through each of us and every living creature, and in the influence we wield over the world, whether for good or evil," said Fannie. “If you are not in tune with it, you are not in tune with yourself or others or the rest of nature.”

"The Force is out there, sure, but I don't see why it's so worth bothering about," I said. “Seems like it kinda just does what it wants. I mean, it doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. And if I’m honest? I don’t really want anything to do with it, either.”

Fannie and Amalia both stared at me, frustrated. I didn't understand why they thought I was so wrong. I was the only one here not trying to get everyone else to change their mind. I was totally okay with Amalia believing what she wanted to and Fannie believing what she wanted to as long as I could believe what I wanted to and somehow that made me the bad guy?

We were all quiet for a bit, until Fannie broke the silence.

“I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head. “We all learned the same things from Master Luke. All three of us.”

Amalia and I exchanged glances.

“Well...I just don’t think that what Luke taught was true,” Amalia said, her words brusque, but her tone uncharacteristically gentle. “Not because he’s a liar. Because he’s misguided. I think he learned and taught an incorrect understanding of the Force.”

“I just don’t really care what’s true because my life is just work and rent and whatever little time I get to myself to have fun, and the last time I was interested in the Force I got super abused and manipulated,” I said.

“But we used to all accept the same things as truth,” said Fannie. "I just...don't know what's different."

“We were younger then. People change as they grow up. Not everyone believes the same things at twenty-five that they did at fifteen,” Amalia said.

“I’ve sure changed a lot. Not just regarding the Force, but all over,” I said.

Fannie sighed, and started to look a little sad. And then...I felt an impression brush up against the outside of my mind—it was the three of us, at Luke's school: Amalia and I a little smaller than we were right now and Fannie exactly the same size, hair and lekku and montrals all a little shorter—the three of us, dressed in Jedi robes, Fannie's with the ruffles she'd sewn on, mine plain and rough and ugly, Amalia's with the sleeves cut short—sitting in the grass and comparing notes scrawled from lessons with Uncle Luke—discussing the light side of the Force and the dark, meditating together—Amalia and I goofing off while Fannie tried in vain to reel us back in—Fannie and I teaming up to talk Amalia away from the deep end when she was losing her mind—me watching in absolute jealousy while Fannie and Amalia sparred—Fannie's saber against the saber that was once Amalia's but now sat sadly on a special shelf in my uncle's office—Amalia had no idea how often I'd caught Luke gazing wistfully at it, back when I used to still meet with him for counseling—

All that in a flash, and then I turned and looked and saw it all in Fannie’s eyes, and my heart felt heavy for her. And I realized that...letting Amalia and I go our own way was a sort of bitter loss for Fan, a source of grief that I couldn’t really understand—but I could feel it—an anchor dragging her below the surface—my friend, the girl I loved, the girl with the great big heart like an open wound, the girl who yearned for the galaxy to make sense.

I put my arm around her shoulder without really thinking about it, and brushed the backs of my fingers against her cheek to comfort her. And gave her a little nudge like, hey, things are okay, I’m still here, right?

“Oh my frick,” said Amalia, who I’d temporarily forgotten about, in a tone of voice like she was witnessing the eighth wonder of the galaxy. “I had to see it to believe it. But I just saw it, and I still don’t know if I believe it.”

Fannie and I looked at each other uncomfortably. We hadn’t been planning to tell her. Or anyone, really. Not for a while. But acting close with each other had just become sort of natural to us. I withdrew my arm and Fannie scooted ever-so-slightly further away from me.

Amalia shook her head. “I mean. Look. Sure. You guys are kind of cute, not gonna lie. But I’m just gonna say it: you two shouldn’t be together.”

I was stunned. That was really so not her business.

“Okay. Cool. Who asked you?” I replied, more than a little annoyed.

“Nobody, but you know that I always say what I think, just like you do, Ben,” she said. “Think about the whole conversation we’ve just had. I mean. Do you guys not see how incompatible your worldviews are? Do you not think you’re gonna have issues down the line trying to reconcile your values?”

I looked at Fannie, almost afraid she’d agree. But she looked upset, and not agreeable in the least, and I felt better. I turned back to Amalia's hologram.

“We have a lot of differences, yeah. But we’re willing to work through them and accept each other as we are, and that’s that,” I said stiffly.

“Ben’s been through a lot,” said Fannie. “I can forgive that he has trouble connecting with the Force.”

“Hey, I’ve been through a lot, too!” said Amalia. “But I still believe in something. I believe in something, Fannie—he doesn’t believe in anything. And he doesn’t have trouble connecting with the Force—that man is sprinting in the opposite direction as fast as he freaking can.”

“Hey, I said I believe in the Force,” I said defensively. “It’s pretty hard not to, when people can use it to make things float and stuff.”

“And he’s Luke’s own nephew, for goodness’ sake!” Fannie said.

“He's also the grandson of one of the biggest Sith Lords who ever lived. But I don’t think it really matters who he’s related to, or if he believes the Force exists, if he doesn’t care,” said Amalia. “Be honest with yourself, Fannie. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t have a purpose and doesn’t know why he’s alive, except to make money and have fun?”

“Listen, Mal,” I said. “Not all of us are cut out for seeing the grand scope of some cosmic order and imagining we have a part in it. Some of us just wanna live our lives—”

But Fannie interrupted me.

“You’re jealous, Amalia,” she said, unusually nasty, unusually venomous. We both stared at her. “You’re jealous. You’re jealous! You liked him, too. I know you did. And you’re jealous that he chose me.”

That seemed to hit kind of a nerve with Amalia. I’m not sure why. Either it was true…or it was so untrue that it pissed her off to even hear the idea suggested. She raised her brow and sucked in her cheeks and blinked a little, as if to say…well, damn, alrighty then.

“…Okay,” she said, sounding less-than-friendly, but less-than-frigid. “Weeell. That sounds like a great place to call it quits. Nice talking with you both, and I wish y’all the best. Talk to you later, Ben. And, Fannie…good luck.” And then she signed off, before I could even say anything.

I looked at Fan desperately, hoping we could have some kind of debrief, but…she stood up with a huff and stormed off too.

Geez. Three things that are complicated: 1) religion, 2) growing up, and 3) girls.

[rifki16]

Tadaima, Okaeri Episode Eight Recap :)

Photo Credit: Tadaima, Okaeri Promotional Twitter Account

I think the episode managed to bring all of the existing subplots to a satisfying ending. I don't have anything that I'd like to deeply analyze from the episode. However, I want to bring up three interesting subplots.

[Cont.] Can You Really Escape the Cycle?

In the last episode, as I also have noted in my recap article, Masaki was soothed by Hiromu on his worry that he might not have grown and escaped from the cycle of having a problem and needing to flee away from said problems. The way Hiromu soothed his husband was by reminding Masaki of all the things that made him smiled every time he fell – and be caught by Hiro-san afterward. From that point, Masaki usually has the standing to get back up, be braver, and face the problems head-on again.

My problem with that narrative was whether the behaviour was a manifestation of co-dependency or not. Or maybe, I’m the one who has the hyper-/toxic-independence mindset – as my psychologist and I were doing works on that.

As Masaki and his family headed back to his uncle���s inn, Masaki and his husband got a chance to be alone – *cue the sexy music*. Masaki then said:

“All the things, I never thought would happen when I got together with you, are becoming a reality…, it’s a strange feeling”

Hiromu then answered:

“It’s because you worked so hard”

I know that the context of things in the conversation is not Masaki’s state of mental health. However, I think it’s a good acknowledgment of Masaki’s work. I think it’s a good sign that Masaki and Hiromu are helping each other becoming better people. I hope that Hikari and Hinata can take pride and example of their parents.

To resent or to let go

Just as Masaki and his family arrived at his uncle’s inn, Kazuhiko arrived at the inn as he was invited by his father to meet, officially I suppose, Masaki’s new family as well as straightening out the kerfuffle he made with them. As they were having polite chit-chat in the living room, Hikari suggested to the group that they went outside to see the beautiful leaves – I suppose they set the episode in autumn. However, Hiromu decided not to go out, because it was time for Hinata to take an afternoon nap, and hence He and his daughter preferred to sit near the window as they watched Hiromu’s uncle-in-law, Hikari, Masaki, and Kazuhiko raking leaves.

However, Kazuhiko decided to talk to Hiromu privately before heading outside and helped out raking leaves. Kazuhiko brought a photo album with him as he approached and tried to talk with Hiromu. Side note: his uncle, Kazuhiko, and even Hiromu all pointed out that Hinata really looks like Masaki when he was little, it’s so cute.

They then talked about how it was like when Masaki was a kid, and how he behave during family reunions, just like the one they were having in the episode. Yea, it’s a little bit of a flashback to one of the themes I brought up in episode six or five; Masaki was a sick boy, and he couldn’t really participate playing in the yard with the other cousins.

I know that the scene-setting paragraphs are a little bit long, but we’re now at the reason I’m talking about this theme. Kazuhiko, out of nowhere, asked Hiromu:

“How did you feel about coming here, sir?”

Hiromu then answered:

“This is where Masaki grew up, but it’s also a source of great pain for him”.

Kazuhiko: “I do feel sorry for lecturing you the way I did, but while things may be better on the surface, the fundamental problems remain.”

[…]

Hiromu: “You could say the same things about him being with me. You were right that he [has] suffered a lot because of me, too. Don’t get the wrong idea. We’re not trying to hold grudges about the past. We’re trying to protect those we care about in the present. That’s all. We understand that you have things you won’t compromise on. So[,] we don’t want apologies. Not from you, [or] your father”.

I think it was beautiful to watch the couple, through Hiromu, was trying to move on from the problems of Masaki’s unaccepting family. I think it’s a problem that I, and many ambitious and high-achieving people, have been suffering. It’s very hard to see imperfections, and go along with what is happening and what works. I don’t know exactly how Hiromu and Masaki could eventually adopt this perspective, but I do hope that it can be explained in future. I mean, I have countless sessions with my psychologist, and numerous supposed mental-health experts’ shorts on Instagram and YouTube, yet, it’s so hard for me to let go, especially letting go my idealistic perspectives on any events, and trying to mould any phenomena into what is supposed to be. Perhaps, it is simply because that I have been raised this way which makes it extremely difficult to adopt the letting go attitude.

Parenting 101 with Hiromu

I think Hiromu was getting his fair share of the limelight in this episode. We usually only get to see Masaki most of the times, so I’m happy to see him more in this episodes, and I hope we will see him more in future episodes.

The happy family got a new neighbour, and this lovely new neighbour of an all-female couple owns a dog named Ran-kun. Hikari loves Ran-kun so much as he kept giving his own hand-written letters to Ran every day. However, Hikari was afraid of Ran because Ran was bigger compared to his tiny body. The episode started with Hika-chan being unable to give the letter himself because he was still afraid of the dog. Afterwards, he became quite sterned and looked quite pensive because of what just had happened in the day. Hiromu just arrived home, and he tried to soothe his first-born about his fear of the big dog.

Hiromu, after meandering on about what he feared, asked Hikari why he was afraid of Ran-kun. Hikari said that he was just simply scared of, proportionally, large dogs. Hiromu then answered with the most beautiful answer:

“I don’t think it’s bad or uncool to be scared of things”.

I mean, positive masculinity for the win, I suppose. Hiromu then tried to explain logically to Hikari why, even though Ran-kun is large compared to him, Ran-kun is not a threat or something to be afraid of, after telling Hikari all the good things he could do if he had overcome his fear of Ran-kun. The next day, even though that Hikari was afraid of Ran-kun so much, he managed to pet and even slept next to Ran-kun.

I think it’s a good way of unpacking and taking steps in facing your fears. I’m not a psychologist, however, I think it’s a good perspective in not making fears or worries as something that we avoid outright, but something that we as humans naturally feel, and we as humans have a choice in how we can, healthily, face these fears. I hope that my first encounter with one of my fears could go as well as what Hikari was experiencing, I’m so happy of him and proud of Hiromu. I mean, maybe, had things been different in how I processed my first fear, I suppose I could have handled my worries better now at this stage of my life. It’s a lot of work, but I know that rewiring a lot of horrible imbedded perspectives is doable and something that I know deserves to happen to me.

Watch the episode yall, it’s a very good episode.

[robbie-roo]

somebody in a very long message asked me about skunks and mentioned a few other animals too so I'll do a quick post on skunks and see what I know about those other guys in later posts

also as a side note if you ever just want to chit chat about animals you can always message me or just tag me in your own posts I'm happy to have discussions as well as do these long lecture style posts :)

Skunks

cute little guys <3 I wanted a pet skunk and a pet raccoon as a kid (honestly I wanted a pet everything...) and the good news is you can technically have one! some states (17/50) will allow you to own a pet raccoon or a pet skunk but unless you are very knowledgeable in wildlife care or "exotic" pets I do not reccomend them they are not domesticated like dogs and cats are but can be tame (there's a difference)

anyways some skunk facts;

so their stinky spray is a pretty obvious skunk trait and like the messager mentioned many animals use scent as a way to communicate. pretty much all mammals have a scent gland located somewhere on their body- for many its the top of the head so they can rub pheromones off on trees or other critters to let animals know "hey this is mine" or "hey there handsome.... there's hot singles in your area"

they also mentioned possum and raccoons using scent- opossums are known for playing dead and will secrete stinky stuff to make their act more believable and raccoons? it's their urine and feces that make them stinky

some animals however use scent as a deterrent like skunks do

they are not the only animal that does this all mustelids do (that's the skink, ferret, stoat, etc. fam) and these critters are particularly stinky but don't have the spray adaptation that only skunks really have (as far as I've learned anyway)

both pet skunks and ferrets will often be surgically "de-scented" but usually still have a smell after (I mean... don't we all?)

skunks used to roll with this genus but recently made their own gang called Mephitis (literally means "stink") which has 12 species and includes skunks and "stink badgers" I've also seen some reports of 13 species but I'm not really sure off the top of my head which is true only 4 of them are "true skunks" though

skunks take their scent very seriously guys. some of them will directly aim for the eyes and others will do a little warning dance before spraying they can also adjust their sprays potency and angle and can also choose to spray from both or only one scent gland at a time

(spotted skunk- the dancers)

some can accurately spray 10 feet away but can reach up to 20 or more if they really wanted to soak you but then they have to reload for about 10 days before they can spray anything again

that odor can be smelled from 1.5 miles away! but don't worry 1/1000 humans can't smell it at all and their main predator owls also can't pick up the scent unfortunately for these birds they do still have eyes and a well aimed spray will still take them down

(also the chemical compound in their spray is flammable I have no idea who found that out and why but fun fact!)

if you ever get sprayed don't bother with tomato juice use hydrogen peroxide and baking soda to neutralize the compounds

anyways enough about stink

Skunks are omnivores and some will eat bees aiming for the actual bees over the honey like bears do (yes winny the pooh lied to you he wants that larva not necessarily the honey)

some skunks can be really social living in groups of around 10 and sometimes invite their neighbors to stay with them (there's a few cases of possums staying the night in their den) most of them ate relatively solitary but they aren't very territorial and will overlap sometimes

they are immune to snake venom! another trait that is somewhat similar to their cousins the badgers as they often eat snakes they can handle a lot of poison

alright that's what I know about skunks they're cute little guys but once again

DO. NOT. TOUCH. yes theyre stinky but they are also known to carry rabies if you see one out during the day do not approach it and call wildlife services if you are seriously worried

[toujokaname]

Game master / Episode 4

Author: Akira

Characters: Rinne, Hiiro, Niki, Kohaku, Aira, HiMERU, Tatsumi, Mayoi

"It's sad that you can say that so innocently, Otouto-kun."

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: Amagi's House

Ten minutes later. In a luxurious mansion at the center of Amagi Village, the guest room.

Rinne: Well, go ahead and eat your fill ♪

Hiiro: My hometown... Did we decide on calling it Amagi Village? Here's some local cuisine made with the Amagi Village's specialties ♪

Niki: Looks like it's finally time for me to show my true colors.

Kohaku: That's not somethin' ya say with the most serious face of the century.

Aira: Waah, looks amazing~♪ And delicious~♪

But actually, is it safe to eat? No human flesh or anything, right?

Hiiro: Aira's prejudice against my hometown has been intense since a while ago...

Niki: I think it's safe~ *Sniff sniff* Don't smell anything weird in the mix.

HiMERU: You're bizarrely dependable when it comes to meals, Shiina.

Rinne: Sorry to disappoint, but these ain't exactly rare ingredients and dishes, are they?

Tatsumi: Indeed, it doesn't seem like there's anything too unfamiliar.

Hiiro: Umu, so if you were expecting some exotic cuisine, I apologize.

The kitchen really put in a lot of effort, though, since you're our guests.

Rinne: Out here in the sticks, it'd be downright rude not to lay out a spread so big you can't possibly eat all of it.

Anyway, that's how you show your guests that the village and household are rich.

Mayoi: Truly, the amount of food is enormous... I might be unable to finish it.

Niki: If there's any leftovers, just toss 'em into my mouth, Mayo-chan! C'mon, c'mon ♪

Mayoi: Eep, please don't open your mouth like a goldfish right in front of me! It's frightening to think you might eat me too!

Kohaku: Watch out, 'cause when he's hungry, he'll really take a chomp outta ya.

Rinne: Alright, let's cut the chit-chat there.

We'll revisit our current status and talk about future plans.

I know it's bad manners to talk while eating, but I'm the law here, so no one's gonna complain.

Niki: —Seconds, please ☆

Rinne: Fine. We've got plenty of ingredients, but don't go pulling embarrassing stunts like eating up everyone's share, Niki...

Well, it's fine. As long as you're full and smiling.

Rinne: But first, we need to have a conversation before Akan-san and the other staff, meaning those who aren't idols, join us.

HiMERU: ? What, is there something you don't want the producers to hear?

Rinne: Akan-san's a bit of an airhead, so I ain't too worried on that front. But Anzu-chan, for all her spacey vibes, seems surprisingly sharp, right?

She's one of the top-notch producers at ES, so we can never be too careful.

Aira: Anzu-san might be on our side though, depending on how things play out...

Rinne: I can't trust her that far. No matter how good she is, there are many restraints placed on professionals and members of society.

They can't go against orders from higher-ups, basically.

Hiiro: Umu, orders from authority figures are absolute! So there ♪

Rinne: It's sad that you can say that so innocently, Otouto-kun.

But whatever—bottom line is, things haven't changed just 'cause we changed locations.

It's still a showdown between Crazy:B and ALKALOID to decide which idols are superior—Matrix.

The only difference is whether it takes place in ES's turf or the Amagi Village. The premise remains the same; keep the matches rolling until all ten rounds are up.

Tatsumi: It's disheartening to admit that as ALKALOID, we've yet to win a single battle...

Aira: Yeah... Rinne-senpai pulled some shady tactics to end the first and second matches, and Crazy:B totally owned the dance-off in the third.

HiMERU: HiMERU deeply regrets what occurred back then.

Tatsumi: Indeed, I never could've imagined that the gift HiMERU-san innocently brought would contain laxatives.

HiMERU: To offer an excuse, HiMERU was also deceived by Rinne and used as a convenient tool.

Kohaku: Rather irksome he didn't use Niki-san or me, since we could've smelled the laced laxatives, but I admit it was shrewd.

HiMERU: Yes. It was all a scheme by Rinne; HiMERU is innocent, as it lacked malicious intent. ...Well, he did have a vague suspicion that it was some sort of setup.

Rinne: Gyahaha, winning feels great, so we just need to win ♪

HiMERU: It is rather gratifying to witness our wins accumulating steadily, however...

If this situation continues, our final victory will be confirmed too early, and the program will be less exciting—That's the dilemma we're facing.

Tatsumi: Hence, the decision was made to relocate the showdown to the Amagi Village. That's our current situation.

HiMERU: Please don't steal HiMERU's remarks, Tatsumi.

Tatsumi: My apologies...♪

Rinne: Yeah, that's right. For the first time in history, cameras will be rolling in our hometown—in the Amagi Village. And it seems that not just the general public but also folklorists are gettin' real excited about it.

Mayoi: As long as the fans enjoy themselves, that's usually all that matters, in our case...

Hiiro: Umu. Though it doesn't quite resonate with me. I'm wondering what's so intriguing about it.

But is it a problem? Nii-san, did you get reprimanded for breaking the taboo of keeping our homeland secret as per our customs?

Aira: Customs...♪ Taboos...♪

Mayoi: Aira-san's eyes are sparkling in response to the traditional village words...

Tatsumi: Does this boy like or dislike traditional villages...?

Aira: But, but, isn't there a bit of a thrill in seeing something scary? ♪

Plus, it's not just curiosity, but also 'cause I'm happy to know about Hiro-kun's hometown, which I've always wondered about.

It's unfair that I'm always the one teaching and revealing things.

Hiiro: Fufu. If that's how it is, you won't have any chance to flex on me this time, Aira. I wonder if you're alright with that ♪

Aira: What was that?! Don't use city slang(?) like "flexing," barbarian!

[ ☆ ]

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[darasideblog]

Offloading thoughts on the whole Goshawk season of the White Vault because I need to put to word what didn't land for me with this season and I don't want to annoy my friends babbling about shit

It. Is. So. Slow.

And yet there's no tension whatsoever. Despite that the production value and voice actors are absolutely top notch as always. I have zero critique on that front, everyone's great.

I don't have any reason to root for these characters. At the start of the season I knew one thing about Iffy.

She's a nature photographer.

At the end of the season I know a whole two things about Iffy.

She's a nature photographer. And probably Casner's daughter.

Which is just dropped right at the end in such a abrupt way that I half expected to hear the 'dun dun' music that the Black Tapes used whenever they'd drop a revelation without really setting it up.

I don't mind the change of format, the found footage format worked great for season 1-3, but pretty obviously had gotten forced by season 5.

But if I the listener am no longer privy to the characters' inner thoughts, they need to externalize those thoughts. Within half of the first season you have a good grip on who the Svalbard team is, what they have left behind and want to get back to, which just makes it all the more heartbreaking when they get killed (or transformed). The season 3 expedition is a odd half and half in that the academics are pretty much just there, but Simon, Dragana, Maheer and Raimy get enough presence and dialogue between them for me to care about them.

There's none of that in Goshawk. I can honestly barely keep the sisters apart in my head because there's nothing beyond 'one has a injured leg' to really keep them separate. They don't talk about themselves, and neither do Iffy. Which makes sense for the first half, running from kidnappers in a blizzard doesn't leave room for much chit chat. But once they find shelter there should have been some room to get to know them. Even your shittiest action movie will let one soldier have a line about how much he misses his wife and baby at home, so you'll at least feel a little bit sorry for him when he inevitably gets shot or blown up.

Which really is the second major issue I think there is with this season: the narrative is split between two stories, in every episode.

The whole family stuff is... interesting, in that world building kind of way, but it adds absolutely nothing to the overall horror and survival story. It isn't really helped either that the stakes feels so hilariously low. Dís and her entire family is all acting like the sky is falling, and they're all about to die to various accidents because their protection is disappearing, when Ardna throws herself in front of a car to save a friend, and... walks away with what amounts to a bump on her head that just requires a couple of days in the hospital and off home she goes.

You could pretty much cut out half if not two thirds of the family side of the story, put it in the latter half of the season as a cut away, and ramp up the stakes to build some proper "Oh shit, something is up with this system that's been in place for centuries" feeling. Artifact showed there's plenty of creepy feelings to get when the guardians starts to mess with things, even while you're in the safety of civilization. But aside from the very last bits with one randomly showing up at Dís place and whispering to her, there's nothing really supernatural going on here either. Just a mother concerned for her daughter, which is all well and good but it's not a supernatural horror story.

So one story line feels like it's not really getting any room to establish its cast and do the whole supernatural horror thing, nor actually drop any 'oh, something is suspicious about our saviour' hints in regards to Jason, and the other is honestly taking up too much space with too little substance to it.

Honestly, I was hesitant about this season anyway, since I left season 5 feeling a little sour at how it felt like it just wanted to get rid of this particular story beat and start over, without really giving much payoff to the whole five season story line (and the miniseries' events), but I wanted to give Goshawk a fair shot.

And now I'm not sure if I'll even bother with the next season. Which sucks, I started listening to it shortly before season 2 dropped, and have eagerly awaited each season since then.