#for those of you currently losing their minds on the dash: no they're not actually related put down those pitchforks and get a life.

[justifiedthoughts]

Alhaitham & Kaveh Headcanons

Okay, so, I'm currently working on a really-fucking-long headcanons post. Due to certain aspects of the post, I remembered that I had these deep within my notes app.

As to why they're deep in my notes? Well, they were simply never allowed to see the light of day, as the blog that I dumped them into the inbox of (as an anon) got deleted before they ever got posted/replied to.

Why was I anon posting large amounts of headcanons despite literally having a blog? Simple! My confidence was (and still is) absolute trash. I still sometimes headcanon dump under an anon name from lack of confidence of doing it on my own blog-

Anyway, Headcanons are under the read line. For the most part, I just directly copy/pasted from my notes app, including my greetings to the blog that I had originally sent these to - I just removed the anon signature that I used.

Mind the tags, but that's a given with kink, no?

Hihi hello, yes I’m still alive, and don’t worry about how long you might take! I’ve been fading on and off Tumblr anyway without the ability to ramble about making my current-favorite ship suffer in their digestive issues.

Anyway, time for me to dump whatever I come up with on you! Probably more Kavetham, because I’m still vibrating in fluffy enjoyment.

Note: Some are kink-related, some are not.

(Kaveh)

Travels to other nations sometimes, just so he can observe the architecture. Yes, he does bother Al-Haitham into joining him for quite a few of them (Acting-Grand Sage period = work break!).

Will go on random spiels about architecture, sometimes rambling for hours without end.

Special interest :)

Most common victim to these rambles is Al-Haitham, ~~not that he minds.~~

Did I mention my lactose intolerant Kaveh headcanon yet? Because that definitely exists deep within my mind.

It gives him bubbly guts, and with that comes a whole slew of gas, both with those hard-to-release burps and numerous farts.

He’s usually just left in discomfort for the rest of the day, though sometimes he’d end up bloating fairly heavily.

Too embarrassed to go out into public when he does bloat, usually ends up shutting himself into his room under the pretext of working on a blueprint. In reality, he’s curled up on his bed, miserable.

Al-Haitham eventually shows up due to the odd silence of the house (since Kaveh’s not being his loud self, which is very rare and very concerning, in Al-Haitham’s POV).

Doesn’t even bother knocking, considering it’s his house anyway

Only slightly off-put by Kaveh’s positioning.

Kaveh notices the rude intrusion, but simply ignores it beyond curling slightly more around his bloated stomach.

He does, however, acknowledge Al-Haitham’s presence when he’s literally dragged out of bed.

Turns out, for some inane reason, the younger wants him to taste-test a dish he’s cooking.

He complies, of course; pointing out that there’s not enough salt in it (and quietly complaining over the lack of spice, but that’s a losing battle with Al-Haitham, for multiple reasons)

The entire scene actually distracts him from his earlier sulking, and soon enough he’s seated with the more-salty dish and adding assorted dashes of spices to the otherwise bland dish.

Never actually realizes that Al-Haitham had distracted him until he’s in bed that night, about to fall asleep.

(Al-Haitham)

I brought this up on my first-ever submission to you, and I’ll bring it up again: Al-Haitham vs. Liyuean food.

From what I can remember, most of Liyue’s native dishes have spices in them. Specifically, Jueyun Chilis. Which are apparently one of the spiciest food ingredients currently in existence for the Genshin world.

(Description pulled from game) “…Merely smelling it makes one hot and thirsty…[The spiciness] makes people want to run to the highest peaks of Jueyun and cool their mouths with chilly air.”

Perhaps he’ll do some forward research about Liyuean dishes so that he knows what to avoid, but maybe he’d end up pushed into trying one without knowing beforehand.

Kaveh would likely be distracting him with one of his rambles over Liyue’s architecture - who probably wouldn’t immediately realize that the dish had chilis in it.

Instantly realizes his mistake the moment the heat actually hits his senses, but it’s already too late.

Cue the various ‘realization’ reactions:

Trembling so much that even Kaveh notices.

Uneasily resting a hand over his stomach, just waiting for the first upset gurgle to break out.

Small anxiety tics, like being unable to keep his eyes on a specific spot for even a small period of time.

Visibly cringes with the first noises his stomach starts to make, already trying to muffle it to the best of his ability.

Did I mention that they’re eating out in public? Because this is the scene that my brain’s generating.

Holds in his gas, simply because of his own embarrassment of having to deal with his… ‘intolerance’ in public.

Of course, that motion only worsens his situation, since his abdomen starts to bloat up from the trapped gas.

At some point, Kaveh prods into Al-Haitham’s internal panic, inquiring to the younger on ‘if he’s alright’ and whatnot.

Al-Haitham would glare at him for even bothering to ask such a thing, if he had the willpower to.

As it is, he simply bites out a small, almost ashamed-sounding “It has spices in it.”

I’d like to think that they’ve definitely known each other long enough for Kaveh to know the foreboding realization on just what that means.

(…Me realizing that I never did list out my eructo headcanons for Al-Haitham, which I will definitely do at some point!)

Al-Haitham getting startled by a sudden, breathy burp, which brings up another taste of the chilis, at which point he ends up downing an entire glass of water in one go in order to cool his mouth for even a moment.

The sudden influx of a fair portion of a rather cold liquid does his stomach no favors, as the unsettled organ continues to audibly gurgle alongside the sloshing from the amount of liquid in it.

Perhaps while all this is going on, Kaveh manages to take charge and pay for their short meal, packing up the spiced dish for himself and rounding the table to try to get Al-Haitham up so that they can be somewhere more private than whatever diner they’re currently at.

Al-Haitham moves slowly, noticeably paler than usual as he struggles to simultaneously hold in his gas, muffle the various noises his stomach is making, and make it seem like he’s having no such issues to the average passersby.

Kaveh ends up carefully leading him back to where they’re staying, since the younger’s too distracted with his intestinal distress to pay much more attention than the bare minimum.

Probably ends up resting on a semi-comfortable chair near the bathroom, cradling his stomach as it truly starts to kick up a chili-induced storm.

Harsher gurgles, leading with equally (if not more so) harsh cramps.

Since he’s not dealing with public embarrassment anymore, he does actually begin to let out the bubbly farts produced from this mess.

Some of them simply refuse to come out, keeping him bloated as he desperately tries to rub and press in an attempt to just get it out. (He doesn’t even care that Kaveh’s present, it hurts too much for him to try to bring himself to care about that minor fact.)

He can’t stop shaking. Be it from a generalized discomfort of his current situation, to the stress and nerves getting to him, his body simply will not stop trembling.

Kaveh probably would end up prying in to try to help Al-Haitham at some point, inevitably pushing aside one of the younger’s hands to be able to get his own hands on site, in order to finally be able to properly help.

In one timeline, maybe Al-Haitham eventually gets pressed with an urgent need, leading to him rushing into the bathroom and… dealing, with the rest of it himself.

In another timeline, maybe he doesn’t get that sort of agonizing relief, as his stomach continues with its raging gurgles, cramping and churning all the way until he perhaps ends up just passing out from the pain of it all.

Nah bc I just headcanon-formatted an entire story or so in the span of a few hours.

[mr-jaybird]

action scene writing tips

a couple days ago, i mentioned that i love writing action scenes and was happy to give advice on them. @charlezarrd asked me to write some up, and tragically i have been busy writing code and not fanfic. but here they are, just a little late!

this got long, so tips below the cut:

action scenes are all about tempo. when i'm writing an action scene, i am generally trying to write something that will make my readers feel like they're on a breakneck race to find out what happens next. real life dangerous situations (and i've been in more than i'd like) tend to feel very fast, like your perceptions can't even keep up with everything happening around you. it's that feeling i try to replicate when writing

to achieve that, it's okay to bend grammatical rules. i will deliberately write run on sentences, with clauses that would normally be a sentence on its own separated by a comma, in order to induce a feeling of rushing from one thing to the next with no time to separate your thoughts/feelings/experiences

for example, from my work:

She’s not going to make it, she’s not going to make it, she pushes and pushes and refuses to let herself open her mouth and speed up the drowning by trying to gasp in air that isn’t there.

each of those clauses could be its own sentence, but they're all running into each other instead!

the em dash is also your friend—using one like so can enable you to jump from one action-packed thought to the next, creating a sense of urgency

another example:

Aloy breaches the surface, drawing in air, but after a few huge gasps she looks down and sees Talanah below her, perhaps ten feet away, motionless and sinking—there is no hesitation.

it creates an abrupt, decisive feeling in your work!

if your scene goes long enough, it can be important to put pauses in that rapid tempo in to create breathing room. a good use of that can be taking a paragraph to show your character thinking through their tactics or strategy, which can show they are approaching the situation intelligently rather than reactively (if that's what you're trying to convey)

if you DO want the character to come across as reactive, you can take a pause instead with them taking a hit and needing a moment to catch their breath and get up from it, talking about the sensations it induces and/or the decision to keep going

for physical fights specifically, i tend to visualize it in my mind as comic book panels

for example:

He’s so much faster than Lis would have thought given his size, and even as she tries to dodge out of his way, he’s grabbed her and tossed her back against the wall. Lis hits with her shoulder, hard, and stumbles, slightly dazed. He’s already brought a fist to her stomach though, and Lis doubles over, winded, gasping for breath. The man strikes her back, hard, and she crashes to the floor.

each sentence there was a "panel" to me, and i needed to briefly describe each to have the fight work as a sequence. visualizing them that way helps me keep the fight sequence moving fluidly and logically

in general with fight scenes, it's important to keep track of which limbs are currently where and make sure each action flows naturally into the next—in complete honestly, i find it mechanically very similar to writing sex scenes in that respect

it's also important to remember that action scenes are often just as much mental as physical. pay attention to your character's reactions and emotions and highlight them occasionally as you go, so that you don't lose the emotional heart of your story in an action scene that's not actually saying anything about the character

above all else, have fun with it! think of crazy scenarios and go wild. don't get intimidated out of writing something you don't know--god knows i have never fought a giant robot t-rex

that's what i've got for now, hope it helps!

[rose-from-ashes]

By the way, I don't have the energy to go into my rules and add it now, but I'm adding two new, soft rules, not so much rules as "if I softblock and disappear after a while it might be due to this":

- If your blog is multifandom and contains a lot of content for fandoms I am not familiar with. I know this is hypocritical as I have a multifandom myself, but it's hard specifically with stuff like other final fantasy games on ffxiv blogs, where it's often treated as if I'm expected to know. This doesn't apply to any mutuals I currently have, I have some mutuals that are ENTIRELY fandoms I don't know, but for new mutuals, I may be reluctant to follow. This is NOT a dni, this is a "don't get your hopes up if you follow me because I really don't want to disappoint but by god my brain space is very little". Not super relevant, but it's happened once or twice.

- Much more relevant, I might softblock if I see a lot of takes that bring my mood down. This is NOT "if I disagree with you, you're out". You're allowed to disagree with me and most takes that conflict with mine are not ones that will upset me. But there are a couple that will due to me having severe rejection sensitive dysphoria. This rule is specifically about things that will almost invariably trigger that rsd.

Specifically, referring to Zenos as annoying frequently or saying you hate him will bother me as I read him as neurodivergent and desperately trying to find someone, anyone else who thought the same way he did- it hurts to see people dismiss him. They're allowed to, anyone is allowed to dislike any character, but my dash is my space, and it's okay for me to cultivate that space. A softblock from me is not a fuck you, it's a "it might be best for me to step away and that's not your fault.

The same follows for excessive criticism of Emet-Selch (you can criticize his actions. I promise you can. He's a dipshit and he sucks, criticizing that isn't what upsets me, it's when people call him overly emotional or incompetent or ugly, insults that are either subjective, patently false, or rooted in homophobia as I've discussed before), and claims that Hydaelyn was right to sunder the world or that the unsundered should just get over the trauma of losing everything and everyone they've ever known.

I know that it is irrational for me to get upset in the defense of fictional characters. Especially villains. But I am, unfortunately for everyone, actually literally diagnosed mentally ill, this is my space, and I want to feel safe and good here despite having symptoms of that mental illness, so I'm going to cater to those vulnerabilities until some of my emotional delicateness has passed (since I'm much worse than normal this year due to being physically ill as well). Before anyone gets nervous, none of my mutuals have upset me. It's just on my mind for unrelated reasons. Love you <3

[medicinemane]

Get tired of the modern trend of not having the conviction to actually talk what you're talking about cause big tech might smack you on the pp for saying a no no word

Specifically, saw someone trying to talk seriously about something but saying "n@zi" and it's just like... we can't fucking have this conversation if you can't even talk about what you're talking about

You want to know part of why I don't have a DNI other than thinking they don't work? Cause I don't really want to remind people who follow me about all the shitty people in the world, I'd rather try and mostly focus on the people doing good rather than drain everyone by only focusing on the bad

Like, there's a very real degree to which I just don't want people getting fatigued and feeling hopeless when there's so much to be done

So I don't tend to talk about nazis, I don't tend to talk about white supremacist shit stains. Their behavior and beliefs are disgusting, I hope this isn't a shocking revelation that I think this. They suck ass and aren't generally worth my time to talk about. So I don't tend to mention em or reblog stuff that does, cause fuck em

But if I'm gonna talk about those assholes I'll use the name for them. Not gonna give the satisfaction of acting like they're boogiemen when they're small minded pricks and that's about it

I just get so fucking tired of this homestuck ass way of speaking about serious topics

Discuss it or don't

There's a ton I don't publicly discuss here because I don't feel like tagging, but like if I want to have a discussion about pornography and the industry and sex work as a whole or whatever, I'm fucking saying porn not p0rn or corn. I'm not a fucking infant

I pick my topics, and while you may notice I have my whims and my rules aren't hard and fast, I mostly avoid current events and I mostly avoid more serious stuff... reblog animals and art and stuff like that cause I want to, even had people say they appreciate having a break from it on their dash when I've mentioned avoiding majorly reported current events

(Do you really need my opinion on stuff? You got 100 opinions already, you got your own opinion, I tend to focus more on sharing stuff I don't see talked about as much... that's why I talk more about Ukraine than Gaza, it's simply I know you know what's going on with one, where as outside of eastern europeans I don't seen any updates on the other)

So I tend to avoid serious topics here, even now I've made choices on what examples to use cause to even gesture at certain topics would be reminding you they exist... I'm not gonna do that

I self censor by choosing not to bring certain things up at all, or not sharing certain things. What I 100% don't do is use advertiser approved language

Stop being a child and a corporate puppet. Having an impassioned rant about something serious and making actual points just... man does it lose a lot of punch when you use "n@zi" in the same sentance as "great replacement theory". You're talking serious stuff, so talk with serious words

At a certain point you either stop playing tech companies games or you admit you'll dance any way they tell you to

[worldly-diversity]

( @fablesborn​ ) asked : [ dress ] your muse having mine dress up in lingerie.  —  Sognare & Phobos

Honestly, for all that peoples' sex lives were pretty active on the Isle in general, they really didn't have much in the ways of appealing clothing. Hell, the most appealing clothing Sognare owned had been what she'd arrived in. But Phobos hadn't given up hope in dressing up his pretty little dream in something cute and sexy despite their limitations.

He'd ended up commissioning someone and giving them her measurements in order to have something made. The result was black and lacy and Phobos absolutely couldn't wait to see how she looked in it.

Indeed, that evening when they were both home from a rough day on the streets and everyone had eaten, he'd led her to his room instead of her own and given her the small wrapped package of brown paper and twine before pushing her behind a screen and telling her to change.

Upon opening, the package would reveal a lace black bra with a sheer fabric that draped down the edges to brush against her waist. The panties were lace as well. The ensemble was pretty soft, and probably not very sturdy, but she wouldn't be wearing it long anyway.

Once she finally stepped out from behind the makeshift screen, his breath hitched. Oh, the effort had been more than worth it to see the flowery patterns draped over her skin, accentuating her features. The black looked especially lovely against her fine waist.

"Beautiful." He murmured, beckoning her closer to his spot on the bed until she was straddling him and well aware of the reaction she'd caused, and the tented state of his trousers. "Black looks stunning on you, amore." Slow, methodical fingers began making their way under the sheer fabric and up her form, brushing over her waist and reaching up to free her breasts so that they were no longer obscured.

The bra and fabric found its way onto a nearby chair as his hands moved back down to massage her ass through the lace, enjoying her every reaction thoroughly.

"We're going to have lots of fun tonight, you and I, sister dearest."

[itsclydebitches]

Since you saw UA, can I have wierd ask? Given Allison Whispered her husband and her daughter and the went back to this mindset to make a public display of it for petty revenge while putting Ray in danger... I don't get how some people whine she's 'completely out or character' in S4? I fully get not liking her character regression (they set up her trauma well enough, but could've done more), but accusing show of bad writing leaves bad taste in my mouth. It's not exactly antis retoric, but the 'I don't like it so it's bad writing' is close enough to 'I don't like it so it's wrong and evil and illegal' that it just makes me really dislike it.

I’m not in-in the UA fandom—I see the occasional post on my dash and have watched each season once—so idk how much of this is actually "I don’t like it so it’s wrong" and how much is simply fans misremembering things, but I’ve got a feeling that a lot of it is probably the latter. Allison is an interesting character in that we're introduced to her at the start of a redemption arc (if we want to call it that) where we catch the tail end of a years long descent into bad behavior, but that quickly gives way to UA’s crazy plot and, as a result, her own improvement. Fans are used to seeing her as the Good one and that’s even a characterization that season three draws attention to, with her initial, heartfelt acceptance of Viktor and others like Diego essentially going, "Hey, weren’t you always the sweet and level-headed one? Haha since when do you want to start bar fights?" Combine that with it taking two years for season three to come out and it’s been a long time since most casual viewers—not those re-watching and/or frequently coming across GIF summaries on their dash—have seen the version of Allison that’s willing to Rumor her young child. Season three is absolutely a regression on her part, but it can feel like OOC behavior if you don’t remember (or remember well) where she started out. Some of the fandom are (correctly) going, “Of course she’s doing this. Allison has always had a problem with trying to control her life with her powers and the trauma of, well, everything, has made her grab at that horrific 'fix' again” whereas others simply go, “Why is the Good One suddenly trying to rape her brother?”

Because yeah, as a sidenote, I don’t think the extreme nature of Allison’s actions helped on-the-fence viewers consider her arc more carefully. I mean, UA as a whole is extreme—I do think it’s a complicated and possibly even useless discussion to try and figure out which sibling has done ‘the worst’ as a result of their trauma—but any time you give a character failings that feel personal to the audience, they're going to come out looking worse than someone who has just objectively done heinous, but otherwise personally removed things. Fans hate Snape more than Voldemort because a cruel teacher hits harder than someone trying to take over the whole world. Fans hate Izzy more than Ed because a homophobic jab hits harder than giving an order to skin and drown someone. Fans currently hate Allison more than Viktor because attempted rape + insults that deliberately target trauma hit harder than trying to destroy the world in season one. We respond most viscerally to those antagonists/villains whose actions we can personally relate to. By not just having Allison do Objectively Bad Things, but things that are personal to the other characters and therefore personal to the viewers who care about them, there’s a knee-jerk anger that can override the logic of, “How did Allison get here and how realistic is this response?”

I’m of the same mind that they set up her trauma really well. No, I don’t think any of that is bad writing. If fans don’t remember where Allison started out and/or aren’t willing to understand how a black woman being thrown into the civil rights movement/losing her husband/coming back to find her daughter no longer exists might be really fucking hard to deal with… that’s not the fault of the writers. Toss in the superpower to literal bend people to your will and I’d be crying bad writing if Allison HADN’T given in to that temptation. Unless you’re going for a paragon of virtue here—which, you know, is not in any way UA’s style lol—it would be totally unrealistic. So I’ve got no problem with any of that. However, what I do have a problem with is where Allison directed her grief. With the disclaimer that yeah, sure, grief isn’t always logical, it’s simply insane to me that they had her focus so hard on Harlan and Viktor when it’s clear to anyone thinking about it for a hot second that they are not responsible for this mess. (Not outside of Viktor’s long term consequences, anyway.) That thinking of, “You changed the timeline by killing our mothers, so that’s why my daughter is gone” is… so stupid?? Allison knows Harlan didn’t change things, they did. They were the catalyst by going to Reginald and unknowingly convincing him to adopt a different set of kids. Even if Harlan hadn’t killed their moms, what? Allison thinks a version of her that never grew up with the Umbrellas is going to be the exact same person? Marry the same man? Have sex on the exact same day? Give birth to the same child? And then she’ll do what exactly? Kill off the version of herself that already exists here so she can raise “her” child instead? It’s so stupid. And I was waiting for someone else to tell her it was stupid! If we’re really going to go with Allison being so grief-stricken she can’t think straight to that extent, at least have others try to get her to see sense. Instead, Five freaks out that Viktor told a lie and I’m like… really? That’s where we’re drawing the line in this family? Worse, you want to give a lecture about how powerful people shouldn’t make decisions alone? You, the founder of this entire, universe-manipulating organization who constantly tries to call all the shots, insulting the intelligence of anyone who dares voice an opinion? With the note that I adore Five: HA. That's hilarious.

Basically, I think there was great setup and… a lot of bad follow through. I would have much preferred Allison to just fixate on the briefcase in an attempt to go back and fix the timeline, not this weird Harlan-Viktor revenge plot (and I'm still not sure how I feel about season three's ending where, thus far, she's gotten everything she wanted). So no, it’s not bad writing to have Allison go off the deep end like she did, but the focus of that grief was pretty misplaced imo. And not in a “grief makes you crazy” way with everyone else acknowledging how misplaced it is. No, the family is happy to just sit there while Allison absolutely eviscerates Viktor and then they pressures him to make peace. Which he does. And it’s still thrown back in his face.

…I feel like this post makes it sound like I didn’t enjoy the season. I very much did! But this specific plot-line generated Big Feelings and not all of them were positive lol.

[tenthgrove]

Hello, I just saw that you opened your request. I'm the one who ended up writing a whole prompt! Imagine this for each member from La Squadra: they had an one-night stand with a random woman, she accidentally got pregnant and decided to have the baby without telling them. After a while, the woman got ill and passed away, but not without before sending her child with their father (let's imagine she has the direction of their hideout even if it's ooc, or she knew where they hang out). So, one day someone knocks the door and introduces themselves as the kid of one of the members/if it's too young, someone left them on the door with a explainatory note... How do you think each member would react by discovering that they have a child and they're supposed to take care of them from now? You can make each kid with different ages if you want, it would be funny to see Prosciutto or Ghiaccio dealing with a rebellious teenage son or Risotto trying to take care of a toddler, but I guess not all of them would want to keep their children. Sorry if it's a lot, haha.

La Squadra did a Diavolo

La Squadra x Reader, Platonic/Familial, SFW

A/N: your idea about mixing up the ages got me thinking, and I ended up using randomisers for the children’s ages (though I did consciously change some of them) and genders. It added a fun bit of chance to this prompt.

Formaggio, with an 8 year old daughter

The whole thing feels surreal to him. There's a little girl on his doorstep calling herself his daughter and by all evidence, it's true. He doesn't really know how to feel about it at first. On one hand it's kind of cool he had a kid all this time and you're clearly a lovely girl, but on the other hand, what the fuck? Still, not being the practical sort, his sense of sentiment far outweighs any question of how he's actually going to look after a child, so without much deliberation, Formaggio agrees to let you stay.

Formaggio isn't too experienced with kids but he doesn't exactly dislike them either, so he figures he knows what to do. At your age you can at least do the basics of looking after yourself, so he isn't too worried. The only problem is that if you ask him to cook for you or help clean your room, his eyes go very wide. He never quite picked up those skills himself, he's afraid, so you're going to have to ask someone else for that one.

The good news is that Formaggio is a very easy-going, fun sort of dad, who is a natural at playing with you and lets you do what you want when he can't be around. He quickly gets used to showing affection to you, letting you cuddle up to him on the sofa in front of the squad and even carrying you around once in a while. He gives amazing piggy back rides.

The bad news (or more good news, depending on how you are) is that you have to leave school. Risotto says that at your age you can't be trusted not to tell anyone your new family is a bunch of assassins, and taking you to and from school each day would be too much of a hassle. Nonetheless, you're welcome to continue your education from home, though Formaggio will hardly push you if you don't keep up with it. Melone is much better on that front.

Despite the risk, Formaggio can't bring himself to force you to lose all your friends, so he lets you keep meeting with them. Furthermore, he knows a few guys in other squads who have kids about your age, so he's happy to introduce you to them if you want a friend you can be more honest about your home life with. Formaggio might not have a clue what he's doing, but he's doing pretty good.

Illuso, with a 3 year old daughter

He's been fearing this day would come for years. A small child knocking on the door of the hideout, holding a note in hand addressed to him, just as a shady looking car drives away. Yeah, Illuso remembers your mother pretty well and he remembers the distinct lack of precautions they took during their encounter. Now, the consequences of his actions are here at his house, and Risotto is currently standing in the doorway of the office looking ready to give him the biggest dressing-down of his life.

After his tongue-lashing, Illuso frantically agrees to take responsibility for what he's done and see to it that you're well cared for, and begins the task of looking for relatives who might take you. Unfortunately, none of your mother's family can be traced, and Illuso can't exactly call up his own right now. Leaving you on the door of an orphanage isn't an option because you're old enough to say where you've come from, so it looks like for the time being, Illuso is stuck with you.

Initially, Illuso is not thrilled. He pawns you off on Melone, Sorbet and Gelato whenever possible and tries to live his life as before. But increasingly, he can't help finding himself visiting your room whenever he's stressed or has had a bad mission. There's something so pure about gently stroking your hair as you sleep. He can't help but feel... attachment, as he rubs his thumb against your tiny palm.

From then on, Illuso starts to make a point of spending more time with you. You're at the age where you just want to touch and explore everything you're given, so letting you make a mess with his makeup and beauty creams is an easy way for him to observe and learn about you. He even starts doing the more practical things like washing and feeding you every so often.

Eventually, Illuso becomes an actual father to you. He loves you as a father should and puts his time into making you happy. Illuso is glad he didn't give you away, as you've opened his eyes to so many things. For the first time in many years, he feels human. He feels redeemable.

Prosciutto, with a 13 year old son

As you tell him your story Prosciutto racks his brains. He didn't have many one-night-stands in his youth but the ones he did have were so far back he barely remembers them, so your mother's name doesn't immediately ring any bells. If it weren't for the striking resemblance between you, Prosciutto probably would have thrown you out for a liar there and then. But as you are, it's clear you're being honest. He lets you in.

After a short interrogation by Risotto to make certain you aren't acting on behalf of some third party looking to infiltrate the squad, it's agreed you can stay, so long as you keep quiet about it to your friends. At your age you can largely look after yourself and all you really needed was a roof over your head, so there's no problem with you moving into the spare room as long as you stay out of the others' way.

Education isn't much of an issue either, since you're likely well settled in your current school and can get yourself there and back. Just whatever you do, don't go telling anyone you live with a bunch of gangsters now. Prosciutto means it, you could seriously put yourself in danger if you do that.

Much to your father's ire, you end up befriending several members of the squad, especially the younger ones like Melone, Ghiaccio and Pesci who have some generational overlap with how you were raised. Prosciutto would rather you didn't do this but at the end of the day, he can't really stop you. God forbid you call him an old boomer again.

Your relationship is overall positive- Prosciutto makes a point of taking you on outings when he has the time, and giving you parental advice when you need it. However that doesn't stop you from making fun of his stuffy, old habits, and playing the moral high ground in regards to his work.

On that note, the problem comes when you develop an interest in the squad's work. It's only inevitable, given how pervasive the topic is in conversations around the house, and the fact you're more than old enough to know what a gang is, but the day you first ask him about it is no less welcome. What's scary is that you're about the same age as Passione's youngest recruits and, well, if you ended up joining them because of him, Prosciutto might never forgive himself.

Pesci, with a 6 month old son

He knew it had been a mistake. Not long after his 18th birthday he'd given in to the squad's pestering about his virginity and finally gotten rid of it just to shut them up. Now he's ridden with guilt. Not only did the poor woman get pregnant because of him but now she's died. He can't help but wonder, the letter attached to the basket you came in was very vague after all, was your mother's death at all related to your birth? If so, Pesci doesn't know how he'll forgive himself.

Pesci immediately panics and stumbles into his Fra's bedroom crying louder than you are. Prosciutto remains calm, advising him to first make sure this actually is his baby through Melone, in case this is somebody trying to trick him, and to then think through his options rationally. As far as Prosciutto sees it, he has two. He can either see to it that you're taken in by a caring, reliable individual, or he can keep you for himself. Surprisingly, Prosciutto's actually okay with the second one, since in his eyes duty to one's family is absolute.

Pesci stammers a bit and asks if he can wait a few days to make his mind up, which Prosciutto permits. But it isn't long at all until Pesci is far too attached to you to ever let you go, and it becomes clear you'll be staying for the long-run. Risotto is hardly happy about this but agrees with Prosciutto's sentiment of family, so he doesn't try to insist you be sent away.

Pesci is an incredibly loving father. He'll dash from the other side of the house at a moment's notice if he hears you crying. That said, being so young himself it's inevitable he requires some help with raising you. Sorbet and Gelato chip in quite regularly, as does Melone when Pesci is desperate enough to fall on using him. Prosciutto helps out too, being your uncle, and occasionally you've even had Risotto answer your cries.

La Squadra can only hope their situation improves somehow in the coming years, since Pesci has no idea how he's going to deal with an older child in a house full of assassins. At very least, being so young it's a long time before he has to worry about things like school. For now, what's important is that you are loved very dearly. Pesci has discovered a new protective streak in himself, something he discovers every time he looks in your eyes.

Melone, with a 4 year old son

When you arrived you were frightened and confused. You struggled to babble out the story you were told to tell as the strange men crowded around you in the front room of the house. Then, a bizarre looking man with purple hair pushed to the front of the crowd, insisting he knew what to do in a situation like this. He carried you somewhere quiet, and gently asked you to repeat your story again. You told him you were looking for your father, Melone.

Melone is elated. He's always wanted a child, but getting into a relationship stable enough to produce one has never been an option with the life he lives. Now the happy accident he never new he had has come home to him! Carrying you back to the living room, Melone introduces you as his son and announces to the team that he will be keeping you.

This is met with some protest. Not only are you of the age where you'll need constant supervision, but quite frankly, nobody trusts Melone to take care of a kid. Melone refutes their accusations harshly, making it absolutely clear he will not be giving you up without a fight. Finally, Risotto surrenders, on the terms that if he catches any signs of abuse or neglect, he will see to it personally that you are re-homed elsewhere.

Melone's parenting style is relatively laid-back. He believes parents should be a 'safe base' from which children should explore the world, coming back when they need advice but ultimately following their own whims within reason. He encourages you to play as you wish and does not stop you from bonding with the rest of the squad. Finding supervision for you while he's on missions proves to be a non-issue, since his stand's massive range means he can often do most of a mission's work at home.

When the time comes to educate you, Melone decides against the risks of enrolling you in school. He is an amazing teacher and can teach you everything you'd need in half the hours of a typical curriculum. Beyond the essentials of literacy and simple maths, Melone largely encourages you to follow you own interests rather than stick to some boring, arbitrary list of useless things a normal curriculum for some reason expects you to learn.

That said, he knows the importance of making friends, so he frequently takes you out to meet with neighbourhood children. All-in-all, the squad is surprised at his sensible parenting choices, and the happy child you are turning out to be.

Ghiaccio, with a 2 year old son

It's almost comedic the lengths Ghiaccio goes to to avoid the problem. As the others crowd around you in Melone's lap, Ghiaccio cowers in the corner insisting that you absolutely cannot be his. It's very obvious you are, of course. You look almost exactly like him, and have a cry to match. You've even inherited the same, mild visual impairments that earned him his glasses. There's no getting away from the truth.

After accepting the truth, Ghiaccio takes you away to his room to 'clear his head' before deciding where to send you in the morning, but when morning comes, that deliberation time quickly turns into a few more days, then a month, then never. It's clear Ghiaccio's become attached to you, and he cannot bring himself to give you away.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have the foggiest clue in hell how to look after a toddler. He has a hard enough time understanding what it is adults want from him, let alone small children. There are times he even considers giving you away again, but they never last long enough for him to go through with it. Bit by bit, he slowly learns how to be a father.

Melone is his primary co-parent. As cautious as Ghiaccio is about letting him around his baby, it soon becomes clear Melone can understand your needs far better than he can. The pair have many sessions together teaching Ghiaccio how to do things like wash you or cook your food. It's honestly a massive help, and probably the main reason Ghiaccio doesn't completely melt down within a month of having you.

These issues aside, Ghiaccio is a person who is very genuine in his affections. He would break the shins of anyone who even looked at you threateningly, and every fibre of his being wants you to be happy. He even learns to control his temper, as he knows from experience just how damaging an angry parent can be for a child. He's going to give you a better childhood than what his parents gave him, and that's a promise.

Risotto, with a 6 year old daughter

Well, perhaps this ought to have been expected. In his early 20s Risotto was really far less careful than he ought to be in regards to his encounters, so he probably had this coming. You are at a difficult age, old enough to understand your father is a criminal but young enough to still need his care. If he takes you in, there will be many challenges. And yet he cannot bring himself to turn you away. Looking at you he feels... obligation.

In the early days he tries his best to shelter you. He keeps you in his room and tells the others not to talk to you. But that's no way for you to live, and he knows it. Eventually, he swallows his fears and lets you explore your new home, even taking you out to the park a few minutes each day so you can run around. He talks to Melone about continuing your education, and asks Sorbet and Gelato if they'd let the spare room next to them be turned into a bedroom for you. He's going to make sure he raises you right.

Risotto may be quiet and introverted, but do not mistake that for emotionally distant. He does not underestimate his vital role in your emotional well-being, and is quick to pick up on when you are feeling sad or lonely. He makes sure to pick you up in his arms and ask what's wrong when that happens.

Though he didn't know her well, he mourns your mother with you, and is very watchful for the signs of attachment issues that may result from losing a parent at such a tender age. Being all you have left, Risotto gains a new instinct of self-preservation. For the first time in years, his life has meaning.

In terms of bonding, he prefers calm activities that allow him to passively observe your interests, such as watching movies or reading you books. When he's working in his office and doesn't need his camera on, he's happy for you to sit in his lap as long as you're quiet. He would ask if you don't read what's on his screen, though, at least not while you're so young. He'll give you a better explanation of what he's doing some day, but not just yet.

Sorbet and Gelato, with a 12 year old daughter

First of all, let's make clear that regardless of which one is biologically your father, they both feel equal responsibility for you. No doubt they were both present for your conception anyway, so as far as they're concerned, if one of them has a secret kid from a hookup, they both have a secret kid from a hookup.

Having always wanted children, they are happy when you appear on the doorstep and introduce yourself as their daughter. Though they don't say it out loud to avoid upsetting you, they kind of wish your mum had kicked it sooner so they could have raised you from a younger age, but they're more than happy to make do with what they've got. There's no hesitation in welcoming you to live with them permanently, and anyone who has a problem with this isn't brave enough to say it.

Right from the get-go they are very permitting parents, awarding you a generous helping of their cash each week and having a rule list that pretty much starts and ends with "don't talk to the police." Despite your age they don't expect you to be independent, and are happy to cook for you and help you out with other things when you ask. It seems parenthood was made for them.

Despite all this, there is one problem in your relationship that is making things difficult. That of your fathers' work. You're 12 years old and you aren't stupid. You know they kill for a living and you know they enjoy it. When you stumble into the bathroom at 1am to find them covered in blood and laughing together, there's no making excuses. No matter how good they are with you, this is going to make you afraid of them.

Sorbet and Gelato are incredibly stringent in solving these early issues. After all these years they've finally got the family they wanted, and they aren't going to let it slip away from their own cruelty. They are honest with you about their occupation, since they want you to know you can trust them, and make absolutely clear it won't affect their care for you. You are welcome to ask questions and receive honest answers, but other than that Sorbet and Gelato will make a point of not accidentally causing you to witness something you shouldn't.

With them, you are welcome to continue your old life in terms of school and friends. They want to spend time with you, but they don't want to overtake your existence completely. When you are up for it, they are keen to take you on outings that interest you so you can spend time together as a family. They hope you know how happy you make them.

[bearingphmotoring-blog]

A lot of us spend at least twenty-five percent of our time awake, traversing our roads.  We're literally brought together by a web of asphalt, spread throughout a concrete jungle, where we're forced to travel cheek by jowl to reach our individual destinations. 

Anyone with an iota of comprehension should know that the road is a shared resource.   Unfortunately, this doesn't click for some people; particularly the douches in their SUVs with rent-a-cops, forcing other motorists out of their way.  Sharing usually entails kindness, generosity and altruism.  Our roads, being something we share, should set the stage for us to showcase such traits.  Regretably, this can also be a battleground where we see fatal outcomes. 

So what determines the way we collectively behave?  Why does decency seem to be such a rare commodity on Philippine streets?  Aren't we known to be one of the friendliest nations in world?  Why then, does it sometimes feel like we're sharing our roads with a bunch of neanderthals?

How we behave on the road is emblematic of our culture.  Our behaviors are influenced by our culture, while our culture may also be shaped by our behaviors.�� Quite the paradox.  As complex as this may seem, it becomes all too apparent on our roads.  Surprisingly, a lot of negative behaviors out there may actually stem from what many consider to be positive Filipino traits. 

We pride ourselves in being hospitable and adaptable.  This generally makes us patient and forgiving - yet driving in Metro Manila is like making your way through a war zone.  I hate to say it, but we may possess these traits to a fault.  Or worse, these may be traits in disguise, similar to how 'annoying' can be camouflaged as 'persistent.'

Visit any Filipino home uninvited, and be assured that your host will welcome you with open arms, while feeling an extreme sense of obligation to feed you.  Without a doubt, your host will move mountains to make you feel at home.  As Filipinos, we have an innate ability to be hospitable.  This trait dates as far back to the days of trade and barter between natives and Malays.  It most probably stems from our virtue of maintaining close ties with our friends and family, thereby making us extremely accommodating.  The fact that most of us build our homes so close to each other and live with our parents way beyond adulthood are testaments of this.  And as heartening as this may seem, this breeds a sense of misplaced dependency towards figures of authority, and a propensity to disregard the need for personal space.  Hence we're plagued with a bunch of motorists who could care less about road rules, as long as they don't get caught; grown men and women who won't bat an eyelash even if they're dashing inches away from each other.

The Philippines has also endured centuries of being colonized by different countries.  This has exposed us to different hardships and has made us extremely adaptable.  In recent years, we have been free from colonization but continue to see countless invasions in the form of typhoons and storms.  Again, we take that in stride by playing in the rain and swimming in the floods.  Adaptability usually works as an advantage, that is until it becomes a coping mechanism which hinders us from progress.  ACCEPTING change should NEVER serve as a hindrance to DRIVING change.  Sadly, we embrace adaptability so much, to the point we tend to settle for less.  At times, we even bend the rules just to cope with our challenges.  Yes, WE FIND WAYS.  Indeed, we do.  We find ways to cross highways with fences in the middle.  We find ways to use gas stations as short-cuts.  We find ways to take remedial action when vital car parts need replacement.  We find ways to squeeze through the tightest spaces, like thread going through a needle.  The list goes on and on.  There's no problem with finding solutions as long as we avoid making consequential compromises in the process.  Case in point, the Jeepney.  The fact that we continue to patronize this sub-standard machine, which has not evolved in the last five decades, is an indication that we choose to settle for less.  Our  coping mechanism may also be responsible for passiveness towards intolerable behaviors that abundantly surround us.  Adaptability has led us to collectively become subdued to abuse and immune to  imperfection.  Being patient and forgiving may be considered virtues, but like Einstein said "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."  This does not mean that we should lose our sh!t each time someone cuts us off.  All it means is that we should make a stand whenever the need arises.

We all long for change, but the sad truth is that the behaviors we despise actually stem from cultural traits.  What's worse is that our current tolerance for these behaviors may lead to cultural attributes we'd rather not be known for.  It would be a shame to have traits such as being late and submissive, replace being hospitable and friendly.  Filipinos have great qualities.  We just need to exude them while keeping ourselves and those around us at bay.  Let's not allow our endurance to get the best of us.  Our ultimate guiding principle should be righteousness.  Afterall, people who choose to do the right thing for  the sake of reward, and refrain from doing the wrong thing because of punitive consequences are just as unpleasant as those who choose to do the wrong thing.  Hopefully, keeping these things in mind will make our roads a better place.

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"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot"

- Albert Einstein