#spice intolerance

[justifiedthoughts]

Alhaitham & Kaveh Headcanons

Okay, so, I'm currently working on a really-fucking-long headcanons post. Due to certain aspects of the post, I remembered that I had these deep within my notes app.

As to why they're deep in my notes? Well, they were simply never allowed to see the light of day, as the blog that I dumped them into the inbox of (as an anon) got deleted before they ever got posted/replied to.

Why was I anon posting large amounts of headcanons despite literally having a blog? Simple! My confidence was (and still is) absolute trash. I still sometimes headcanon dump under an anon name from lack of confidence of doing it on my own blog-

Anyway, Headcanons are under the read line. For the most part, I just directly copy/pasted from my notes app, including my greetings to the blog that I had originally sent these to - I just removed the anon signature that I used.

Mind the tags, but that's a given with kink, no?

Hihi hello, yes I’m still alive, and don’t worry about how long you might take! I’ve been fading on and off Tumblr anyway without the ability to ramble about making my current-favorite ship suffer in their digestive issues.

Anyway, time for me to dump whatever I come up with on you! Probably more Kavetham, because I’m still vibrating in fluffy enjoyment.

Note: Some are kink-related, some are not.

(Kaveh)

Travels to other nations sometimes, just so he can observe the architecture. Yes, he does bother Al-Haitham into joining him for quite a few of them (Acting-Grand Sage period = work break!).

Will go on random spiels about architecture, sometimes rambling for hours without end.

Special interest :)

Most common victim to these rambles is Al-Haitham, ~~not that he minds.~~

Did I mention my lactose intolerant Kaveh headcanon yet? Because that definitely exists deep within my mind.

It gives him bubbly guts, and with that comes a whole slew of gas, both with those hard-to-release burps and numerous farts.

He’s usually just left in discomfort for the rest of the day, though sometimes he’d end up bloating fairly heavily.

Too embarrassed to go out into public when he does bloat, usually ends up shutting himself into his room under the pretext of working on a blueprint. In reality, he’s curled up on his bed, miserable.

Al-Haitham eventually shows up due to the odd silence of the house (since Kaveh’s not being his loud self, which is very rare and very concerning, in Al-Haitham’s POV).

Doesn’t even bother knocking, considering it’s his house anyway

Only slightly off-put by Kaveh’s positioning.

Kaveh notices the rude intrusion, but simply ignores it beyond curling slightly more around his bloated stomach.

He does, however, acknowledge Al-Haitham’s presence when he’s literally dragged out of bed.

Turns out, for some inane reason, the younger wants him to taste-test a dish he’s cooking.

He complies, of course; pointing out that there’s not enough salt in it (and quietly complaining over the lack of spice, but that’s a losing battle with Al-Haitham, for multiple reasons)

The entire scene actually distracts him from his earlier sulking, and soon enough he’s seated with the more-salty dish and adding assorted dashes of spices to the otherwise bland dish.

Never actually realizes that Al-Haitham had distracted him until he’s in bed that night, about to fall asleep.

(Al-Haitham)

I brought this up on my first-ever submission to you, and I’ll bring it up again: Al-Haitham vs. Liyuean food.

From what I can remember, most of Liyue’s native dishes have spices in them. Specifically, Jueyun Chilis. Which are apparently one of the spiciest food ingredients currently in existence for the Genshin world.

(Description pulled from game) “…Merely smelling it makes one hot and thirsty…[The spiciness] makes people want to run to the highest peaks of Jueyun and cool their mouths with chilly air.”

Perhaps he’ll do some forward research about Liyuean dishes so that he knows what to avoid, but maybe he’d end up pushed into trying one without knowing beforehand.

Kaveh would likely be distracting him with one of his rambles over Liyue’s architecture - who probably wouldn’t immediately realize that the dish had chilis in it.

Instantly realizes his mistake the moment the heat actually hits his senses, but it’s already too late.

Cue the various ‘realization’ reactions:

Trembling so much that even Kaveh notices.

Uneasily resting a hand over his stomach, just waiting for the first upset gurgle to break out.

Small anxiety tics, like being unable to keep his eyes on a specific spot for even a small period of time.

Visibly cringes with the first noises his stomach starts to make, already trying to muffle it to the best of his ability.

Did I mention that they’re eating out in public? Because this is the scene that my brain’s generating.

Holds in his gas, simply because of his own embarrassment of having to deal with his… ‘intolerance’ in public.

Of course, that motion only worsens his situation, since his abdomen starts to bloat up from the trapped gas.

At some point, Kaveh prods into Al-Haitham’s internal panic, inquiring to the younger on ‘if he’s alright’ and whatnot.

Al-Haitham would glare at him for even bothering to ask such a thing, if he had the willpower to.

As it is, he simply bites out a small, almost ashamed-sounding “It has spices in it.”

I’d like to think that they’ve definitely known each other long enough for Kaveh to know the foreboding realization on just what that means.

(…Me realizing that I never did list out my eructo headcanons for Al-Haitham, which I will definitely do at some point!)

Al-Haitham getting startled by a sudden, breathy burp, which brings up another taste of the chilis, at which point he ends up downing an entire glass of water in one go in order to cool his mouth for even a moment.

The sudden influx of a fair portion of a rather cold liquid does his stomach no favors, as the unsettled organ continues to audibly gurgle alongside the sloshing from the amount of liquid in it.

Perhaps while all this is going on, Kaveh manages to take charge and pay for their short meal, packing up the spiced dish for himself and rounding the table to try to get Al-Haitham up so that they can be somewhere more private than whatever diner they’re currently at.

Al-Haitham moves slowly, noticeably paler than usual as he struggles to simultaneously hold in his gas, muffle the various noises his stomach is making, and make it seem like he’s having no such issues to the average passersby.

Kaveh ends up carefully leading him back to where they’re staying, since the younger’s too distracted with his intestinal distress to pay much more attention than the bare minimum.

Probably ends up resting on a semi-comfortable chair near the bathroom, cradling his stomach as it truly starts to kick up a chili-induced storm.

Harsher gurgles, leading with equally (if not more so) harsh cramps.

Since he’s not dealing with public embarrassment anymore, he does actually begin to let out the bubbly farts produced from this mess.

Some of them simply refuse to come out, keeping him bloated as he desperately tries to rub and press in an attempt to just get it out. (He doesn’t even care that Kaveh’s present, it hurts too much for him to try to bring himself to care about that minor fact.)

He can’t stop shaking. Be it from a generalized discomfort of his current situation, to the stress and nerves getting to him, his body simply will not stop trembling.

Kaveh probably would end up prying in to try to help Al-Haitham at some point, inevitably pushing aside one of the younger’s hands to be able to get his own hands on site, in order to finally be able to properly help.

In one timeline, maybe Al-Haitham eventually gets pressed with an urgent need, leading to him rushing into the bathroom and… dealing, with the rest of it himself.

In another timeline, maybe he doesn’t get that sort of agonizing relief, as his stomach continues with its raging gurgles, cramping and churning all the way until he perhaps ends up just passing out from the pain of it all.

Nah bc I just headcanon-formatted an entire story or so in the span of a few hours.

[deepbluequill]

I can't eat spicy food anymore without suffering an aftermath akin to Ragnarok.

My friend, who has eaten Sichuan spicy everything since birth, can't taste anything that isn't spicy enough to make a Northern Europeans eyes water from just holding it near their face.

He wins the spice wars.

My consolation prize?

Dairy.

I understand why spice folds me like a used dishcloth but how do you get taken down by ice cream and cheese?

Milk and cookies have you crumpled like wet cardboard.

Not so fun mocking me for not being able to go for the high spice Indian menu when you can't process a vanilla milkshake.

Big talk about chilis from someone who's gutpunched by whipped cream.

[creepyscritches]

The way I am a bottomless pit for the paneer butter masala the restaurant down the street makes... I put myself in a food coma last night from it (no survivors) and I'm already like "Man I could go for some butter masala and garlic naan"

Maybe this means I should learn to cook this dish next 🤔

[normcore569]

Forgot to get coconut milk 😖

Anyone else have lactose discrimination but loooves coffee and will suffer for the delicious flavor?? 🙋🏽‍♀️

[misery-has-no-company-now]

Washington (probably) [with his eyes watering, gasping for breath] : Why do you love eating spicy food so much??

Louisiana : It's the only way I'm able to feel something again.

Washington :

Louisiana :

Florida :

Washington :

Louisiana :

Florida : Loui, bud- we need to talk.

Texas [sitting down while being flanked by Colorado and New Mexico - who are having a staring contest over the top of his head - and eating bowls full of chili given to him by the two of them to see who's is better] : Ain't nothing here to talk about really, he's right.

Colorado and New Mexico : break staring contest to look towards Florida and nod sagely

Florida :

Washington :

Loui, Tex, Coco, and New Mex : …

Florida :

Washington :

Florida : See this is why I create chaos-

Washington [leaving] : You're all messed up.

[mamadarama]

my mom (less so me) always gets asked this funny little question when she says mild, "mild or white person mild?" cause we're singaporean but i inherited my dads spice intolerance

if she doesnt say white person mild we once got a dish that was red cause of the amount of "mild" spices

LMAO that happens some places in america too, particularly the south cuz over there youll see rednecks practically chugging sauces with names like "nasty daves atomic buttfucker" thats like ten billion scoville units . sometimes you see it here in the east as well . on the other hand ive heard its common that some british folks cant even handle black pepper so maybe "british person mild" would be a more accurate frame of reference. personally if i order spicy food i say something like "id like to still feel my tongue" and it hasnt steered me wrong yet

[cliff-and-the-kid]

♡

Pre-established relationship meme: Sierra & Dennis

FRIENDS.   childhood friends  /  work friends  /  family friends  /  recently friends  /  turning antagonistic  /  turning into something romantic  /  stable  /  falling apart  /  friendship of need  /  friendship of circumstance  pen - pals or internet friends  /  coworkers  /  partners  /  other .

ROMANCE.   childhood sweethearts  /  newly entered  /  soulmates  /  skinny love  /  unrequited from my muses side  /  unrequited from your muses side  /  friends with benefits  /  awkward  /  fading  /  turning  toxic  /  toxic  and  destructive  /  other .

FAMILIAL BOND.   sibling bond  /  older sibling figure to your muse  /  younger sibling figure to your muse  /  parental figure to your muse  /  parental figure to my muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal  guardian  /  other .

ENEMIES.   dangerous to themselves  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  passionate  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into a sexual tension  /  developing into a romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based of misunderstandings or lies  /  other .

Additional thoughts:

I could see them in that stage of kindergarten/first grade friendships, where kids just want to play games and don't necessarily care with who; could also see their respective dads occupying similar social circles, and little Sierra and Dennis falling in together at 'grown-up parties' where there isn't much for them to do but wait to go home.

Unless there's like, practice-proto-date shenanigans or wingman stuff for Jack going on, I think we're better off just skipping this category, sorry xD

Annoying cousins who know exactly which bad jokes to make to incite violence. Need I say more?

I dunno if anything short of a Category Five misunderstanding and subsequent lack of communication could turn them into enemies at this point, but now that I'm thinking about it I kinda half want to poke at that idea a bit...

[arom-antix]

I made meme because it's important

[hwajin]

i ordered pho and it's so spicy imma start kickboxing the air

[heresiae]

so, for two weeks I went gluten free.

in two weeks I stopped having cramps, a swollen belly, started sleeping better, my period arrived at the 28° day on the dot (impossible before except for the pill), I had way less pimples and no heaviness in the stomach.

unfortunately, I can't keep it up, because I need to be filled with gluten (to the brim, actually) in order to have a diagnosis and apparently, if I suddenly go back to a full gluten diet after a month without, the effects could be... painful.

so, here I am, at the eve of my summer holidays, not able to stay on a gluten free diet (although, my wallet is not that desperate about it), trying to make peace with the fact that I will perceive myself like a whale on the beach, with cramps because I reintroduced gluten since yesterday, knowing that I will not be able to do nothing till September and I will probably have to go through private health care centers to have a diagnosis (in Italy, if you have an official diagnosis you can ask for gluten food stamps and you'll get them).

[bbleague-crispin]

What are your favourite chips???? :3

Asking purely because the cheesy ones that I gave you (I’m assuming) aren’t your ultimate favourite :)) And I need a refill of snacks for emergencies

@director-cyrano

i like spicy ones!!!! any kind of spicy chip will do!!!!! the cheesy ones you gave me ARE nice though..

[nyarmand]

the word 'neurospicy' makes me cringe so bad

[cannibalisticcorpse]

uugghhhh i have a spice allergy and geographic tongue so not only do these delicious fucking chips give me allergic symptoms but also it lights my tongue on fire, burns off my tastebuds, and makes my mouth bleed if i eat too many too fast

but it's okay bc im also eating birthday cake oreos

[paraducksspace]

so turns out im still allergic to cinnamon 😜✌️

[candaru]

7 and 16!

(7 already answered!)

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

Alas... as per my last ask... I cannot eat mint. It is too spicy for my delicate baby tongue 😔 I'd probably love it if not for that, as I love normal chocolate chips and I like the aesthetic of it.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

If you got Hans' doctor job, what would be in your Sponge and Starfish treatments?

Simple! Skin them alive and make them into some fashionable jackets then make some bank on the black market by selling their organs. No one will know or care

Nah, I'm going the same route of what I'd recommend to others when they're sick. Ginger tea! Or anything really spicy that burns your insides. Heres a healthy concoction of lemon, apple cider vinegar and some cayenne pepper powder in some water. Drink that and it will burn your insides and your cold along with it. Have a headache? Ginger tea! Have a cold? Ginger tea! Have body aches and pain? Tumeric milk or tumeric tea.

Of course its important to take antibiotics and medications when necessary but this is what I'd recommend to anyone if they need a home remedy. I'd definitely force spunchbop and patrice to take it if they're unwell too. May they suffer ✌