#for them tho??????? i guess i'll just never know because i never wrote it down all the way. just the one word. :)

[grimtaleslb]

me: *finally going through my many tiny doodles and story notes*

me: *reading the jotted down notes* what am i referring to??? what the fuck am i talking about?!? hello???? what was i thinking when this was made???!?!??

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[xanaxiii]

"I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I CAN'T GET ENOUGH"

cw: ENGLISH ISNT MY FIRST LANGUAGE! smut, fluff, no use of y/n, wade's perv but reader too so it doesnt matter tho, dirty talk, i hope it isnt turn cringe omg...

words: 15k

an: writing for wade was so fucking hard because a) every time i wrote a joke i felt like i wasn't cut out for it and b) i didn't want it to come out cringe but oh well, judge for yourselves. this is my first smut ever and the only thing i based it on were other oneshots and some random porn videos on twt…anyway, enjoy.

𓆩♡𓆪 

You were sitting on his lap, your gaze fixed on the phone screen you were holding in your hands. The quiet sounds of the game coming from the device filled your darkened room, and the only light in it was the brightness of the screen. You bit your lower lip, struggling with the same quest in the game for the third time. 

A quiet groan of bitterness and boredom reached your ears. You peeked out from behind the screen, looking at your boyfriend, lying on the soft sheets of your bed, surrounded by cuddly toys and pillows. You tilted your head to the side, noticing the grimace on his scarred lips.  -"What?" - you asked, looking at the phone again. Your thumbs moved quickly across the screen, keeping up with your opponent's movements. 

-"Oh, nothing, just... you know, now I know how all those Twitter chicks with big tits and gamer boyfriends feel. Only I don't have boobs and you don't have a penis." - Wade replied, sighing again. He raised his hands, placing them on your soft hips, tugging at the material of your pink shorts that you were wearing. He loved the way you dressed, even though you yourself thought you looked like a rat. Well, if anything, you were the cutest rat he'd ever seen. Your hair was tied in a loose ponytail, and your oversized sweatshirt with those adorable bunny ears on the hood made his heart beat a little faster. 

Whenever he came over to your place and spent the night, he felt like a fucking pervert who was manipulating such a pretty little thing as you. At least that was how it was before the day you gathered your courage and showed him your figurine collection. Hell, even he didn't have that many busty anime girls at home. That's when he realized that you were just like him. Degenerate. 

-”You let me finish! If you don't like it, you might as well leave.” - you replied, pouting your lip in a sad shape. You lost game anyway, Wade's chatter distracting you. You turned your phone off and threw it on the other side of the bed, crossing your arms over your flat chest. -”Thanks, Wade. I've been struggling with this level for a week now and you're showing me no support.” 

-”Hey! You're showing me no support either...you know these sweatpants aren't the most durable material, and god, if you played a little longer, I'd come in my pants.” - he defended himself, moving his hands up to your ribs, tapping your bones through your sweatshirt. A cocky smirk appeared on his lips as he noticed the blush on your cheeks. 

You shook your head, hiding your red face in your hands, feeling how hot your skin was now. You spread your fingers slightly, meeting his teasing gaze, which made you blush even more. 

I guess you'll never get used to his vulgar words, but honestly, you'd never trade him for some...morbidly good guy. 

-"Okay, okay...I'll help you with your problem if you help me get through this mission, okay?" - you mumbled, folding your hands on his chest, slowly moving your hands along his torso, hooking your fingers into the string of his sweatpants. You narrowed your eyes, noticing his growing erection, the sight making your breath stop in your lungs. 

-"You've got it, sweetie. Now wrap your little hands around my friend before I cum on your face." - he laughed, enjoying your shyness, even though you both knew how horny you were as well. You let out a shaky breath, rising slightly on your knees to slide his sweatpants and boxers down. You smiled at the delightful sight of the Hello Kitty print on his crotch, remembering that you were also wearing a set of underwear with that motif today. 

You leaned forward slightly, still not used to his size. His tip was slightly red, and excitement was leaking out of it in long, white drops. You wrapped your hands around his cock, using gentle, trembling hand movements, up and down, listening to his soft moans. You closed your eyes, increasing the pace, running your fingertip over his veins along his member. 

-“Fuck, baby... I can't believe you use those hands of yours most of the time just to click games. And those lips? I can see drops of saliva running down them. Like I was one of your hot soups...” 

-”Wade...shush.” - you whispered, looking up at him from under your eyelashes, shifting your position to capture his cock in your warm lips. You licked his tip, slowly starting to suck and kiss him, giving him your full attention. You tightened your grip on his thighs, trying to ignore his constant chatter. He acted like there was no way to shut him up...okay, his chatter often saved you from pushy guys online, or, rarely, the ones I met on the street. But right now, all you wanted was to listen to those sweet moans and sighs of his, because Wade, like no other, made the best sounds while sucking him off. 

You were still working on him, and Wade could feel me gurgling from within. He clenched his fingers in the sheets beneath him, tugging at the material, turning his head to the side to meet the assessing gaze of one of your teddies. He turned his head back to you, gasping for breath, especially when, just before his orgasm, you pulled him out of your mouth, spitting on his length, smearing the sticky substance along it. 

-“Next time when you give me a blowjob, I demand that you hide all those teddy idiots in the closet or under the bed. They’re judging me, doll. They look at me with those dead eyes of theirs like I’m some kind of...- Oh, fuck-” - his next ramble was cut off by your next movements. You quickly pulled your shorts down your legs along with your white and red panties with lace trim, and collapsed in desperation onto his throbbing cock. 

Leaning over him, strands of your hair brushed his face, and your breath mingled with his. Grunts, moans, and heavy breaths bounced off the walls of the room, and you were really glad that your blinds were drawn and the lights were off. You didn't want to think about what your neighbors, who still considered you polite and well-behaved, might think. You didn't want to ruin it with one of the louder signs of pleasure. 

Your hips movements were exactly the ones Wade liked the most. Careful but full of passion that was practically pouring out of you. He lifted himself off the bed a little, wrapping his arms around your small frame, pulling you closer and joining in on the game as well, not leaving you out in the cold. Your rhythm synchronized, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of his sweat and the vanilla and coconut mist. The scent was intoxicating and unlike anything you'd smelled before. You just...were so lucky. Not only was Wade amazing in bed, but he was also a minority, and he actually had hygiene. He was simply perfect. 

You didn't even realize when you came, everything around you lost its meaning and your mind was only focused on your boyfriend. Your hands tightened on his tense shoulders, tugging at the material of his shirt as you tried to catch your breath and come down from your high. 

"Fuck...if there was ever a ranking of the virgins who give a best fucks, you would win, for real." - his words were muffled by his breathing, his arms still tightly around you. He snuggled into your fragile body, sliding one of his hands down to your ass, kneading the soft skin, laughing in your ear. - "I mean, you know, technically virgins. I can't count how many times we've had sex." 

"I'll give you a gag, I swear to you." - you whispered, lifting your head, tilting it back. Still not moving out of him, you grabbed your phone, forgotten by Wade, and turned it back on. - "I fulfilled the agreement. Now you." - saying that, I handed him the phone, with a gentle smile on my lips, staring at him with puppy eyes. 

-"Oh, oh. You little, sly flirt. Okay, give it to me. As your personal bodyguard, tough guy and guardian angel, I'll help you with this shit." - he launched the game, and the white flash and the huge Mihoyo inscription, almost made him go blind if it was possible with his regeneration system.

He narrowed his eyes, at first not very convinced that he was being forced to play some Chinese production with a lot of characters who look like lolibaits, but as soon as he noticed your sincere satisfaction and the love for him shining in your eyes, he decided that for you he could even play League of Legends with the most toxic fatties on the team.  𓆩♡𓆪 

[a-lonely-dunedain]

1, 6, 9, 10 , 12 and 35 for any oc you’d like!! Mix and match if you want!

oh! I missed one! ok let's see...

1. are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

I try to color code of my OCs! There isn't any sort of symbolism behind them besides just Vibes™, but Ethedis is green, Tossdir is red, Margim is dark red, and Celeair is blue.

my less developed OCs don't have a suuuuper solidified colors yet tho, but currently I'm thinking that Ceriondil is red, Rodigrin is turquoise, and Elwar is a dark steel blue. I'm actually still not sure who the 4th member of their group will be besides the fact that they're a dwarf, so I don't have a color for them yet.

6. "how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?"

hmmm I'll answer this for Ethedis bc she's one of my only characters who actually styles it lol. She keeps is pulled back pretty simply, but lets her bangs loose to just do whatever. She's not super concerned with keeping it looking neat all the time, but she likes to keep the long parts out of her way, and if it can look pretty at the same time then that's always a nice bonus! she also likes to accessorize with those little silver leaf decorations

also, I don't know where I saw this headcanon or how commonplace it is, but I've heard some people go with this idea that for elves braiding each other's hair is kind of like an intimate thing that couples do? Idk if I'll go with this angle, but at some point in the 4th age it might be cute to add a little braid somewhere in her hairstyle, bc she's started to let Corunir help style it <3 (another one of those little things that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to her)

9. "favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?"

hmmm I'll answer this one for Tossdir!

Tossdir really can't be a picky eater, he's a Ranger and sometimes just has to take whatever he can find, so he's developed a tolerance for basically anything that could be considered edible. and some not. I think he ate a stick once.

As for his favorite, he really liked carrot cake! But being the sentimental guy that he is, can't eat it anymore without thinking about Tadan and some measure of guilt, seeing as he partially blames himself for his death. It was the last thing Tadan ever gave him, after all.

He is now deeply conflicted about carrot cake.

10. "if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?"

Ethedis wears silver jewellery mostly! More when she's at home in Rivendell, but when she's traveling she usually goes without, besides the little silver leafs in her hair of course (mostly because I don't want to draw any more jewellery lmao)

I never really gave much thought to what her favorite gem would be, hmmm... first thing that came to mind was something pale and green, perhaps beryls? elves are said to be fond of them after all. I guess that makes her basic lmao

12. "how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?"

Oh gosh, how long has Ethedis been around? I guess I created her when I started playing lotro. according to my account, it was created in...

2016! which was... hey, lotro owes me a gift box! that was 8 years ago but my account only has year 7 gifts >:(

anyway I guess that makes Ethedis roughly 8 years old, but I couldn't tell you exactly when she went from player character to capital C Character™

Tossdir was created when Before the Shadow came out, around November of 2022, but I guess his concept of "weird Ranger who sleeps in bushes named Shrub Man" goes back a little bit further, but not much.

now I did actually work out some of their birthdays in-universe by rolling some dice for funsies. let's see if I can find where I wrote that down... ok so Ethedis - May 19th (she's 350 someodd years old) Tossdir - September 18th, just a few days before Sarn Ford and everything else in Cardolan, that sure is a fun coincidence huh! (he's the Dunedain equivalent of being in his early 20s) Celeair - March 31st (probably late 20s? maybe like 30 by the time he gets to Trum Dreng but that's subject to change) Margim - I thought about rolling dice for her, but no one remembers when she was born in-universe anyway, and she has no idea how old she is.

35. "do they ever return home?"

I like to think they all make it there, in some fashion or another. But for many of them what "home" looks like is different at the end of their stories than it was at the beginning.

For Ethedis it isn't Rivendell anymore, but wherever Corunir and Tossdir are, both in this life and the next.

For Tossdir I don't think it's Tornhad at the end, so much as the North in general might be what he considers home, so long as his friends and family are there with him. I do think he still has a lot of fondness for the Trollshaws though.

For Celeair it's wherever Margim is safe and happy, and for Margim that ends up being Lhan Tarren.

For Elwar the current plan is that she's going to Gondor with Ciriondil, where she'll take some levels in Mariner and her home will be on the ocean, with the family those chose to love her.

(now that I type it out, it almost seems a little sappy that all their ideas of what home is aren't really places so much as wherever the people they love are, but hey I'm allowed to be a little sappy right?)

[timeregistry]

omg dude i love ur sebastian!!!

and if u want, i’ll tag u when i post my painter design

i’d also like to hear more of ur ramblings about pressure or anything of the sort :3

have a good day!!!

TYSM!!! I'm glad people like him 🥹He's been my everything since I got into Pressure, let's just say that the AU of my fic had lived in my brain since forever before I started writing LOL

OH and also I would ADORE to see your Painter design PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I LOVE PAINTER SM I LOVE ALL PAINTER DESIGNS

ALSO sorry for answering this so late I got injured (again...) and it was hard to write but also I’m INSANE like IM CRAZY you literally put on a silver platter that I can talk about ANYTHING like DUDE. IM CRAZY. I jump around fandoms a lot so to say that I have a lot on my mind apart from work is an understatement (let's just say earlier I went crazy about regretevator...... it's bad)

SO to organize my thoughts, I've been really wanting to actually talk about like... some thought process stuff of my fic (A Human's Touch) and things that happen before the fic... since SO MUCH happened but I don't mention it because we are put at a specific moment in the story... VERY VERY Sebastian and reader focused so TW: Sebastian Solace 😔

Under cut because its LONG. LIKE. REALLY LONG. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT LMAOOOO

SO pressure's lore is a MESS don't get me started on how I feel about the current lore so I decided that since no one really saw the timeline or pretends it doesn't exist as they should, I feel it's a bit unlikely Sebastian would be able to convince Painter to start killing people after meeting it TWENTY MINUTES PRIOR T_T (and hacking all of Urbanshade network in that time?!) so that's why I actually made (in chapter 7 that is not on tumblr rn LOL) them meet. I mentioned in a comment on AO3 since someone had asked smth about Sebastian and just to give an idea, the start of A Human's Touch happens a couple of months before the events of Pressure. SO at that point, Sebastian and Painter have known each other for months. I would LOVE to go into detail how I see their relationship is when the lockdown happens + what happens with reader but I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING T_T so maybe when I finish the fic I'll go into detail as I'm not actually really planning on writing the actual like.... events of pressure w/ reader instead I guess, idk how to put it, just to let you in a little secret, Painter does know part of Sebastian's plan when the lockdown happens in this universe.

So enough about Pressure lore and what I changed from that, I wanted to talk a bit about before the events of the fic... I didn't write it since I felt it would be very Sebastian and reader centric and since it was most likely going to be in a platonic sense I wasn't sure if people would be interested! To admit something since I don't imagine many people will read this but originally I had written a fic that was with Sebastian (it was more romance with him tho as I was down HORRENDOUS I wrote so much Sebastian y’all have no idea I got jumpscared trying to find some of my old things to reference and seeing the sheer amount of Sebastian) which was actually where the original summary of A Human's Touch came from HELPPPP LIKE ORIGINALLY IT WAS A PARAGRAPH OF MY FIC I JUST EDITED IT T_T I never post what I write I'm surprised that I even posted A Human's Touch but I digress. Anyways I had originally considered writing a platonic version of that fic (not like that one was finished) but in the end I never did since again, I didn't think anyone would read it--

Either way, here is a TLDR of how reader and Sebastian met. Basically reader came in as an intern to Urbanshade right? How I imagined it was that they actually had seen Sebastian when he was still in his big ol heavy containment aquarium. While I think he still needs to go there when Urbanshade wants to contain him, I imagine reader met him when he was MOSTLY in there... While he could leave as his status as an MR-P made it so that now he could leave and free-roam, I imagined that he never really saw a reason to do so... I think atp Urbanshade hadn't really found a good reason for him either, as he was soo unpredictable because of how aggressive he was with them. SO they just leave him in his cell basically, its good to see if there were any longer terms effects of his… condition. He would normally just look into the window and look at any of the scientists.

Now how I imagined his heavy containment cell was that like, an aquarium. Like there is this big window where you can see him but I imagine that he had this like area at the surface of his cell that there is like a walking area but it was specifically because not only is he an MR-P so its like a little better than his old cell but also because he was exactly for an experiment that was to make humans be able to breathe over and underwater so I like to think they want him to take in oxygen naturally anyways–

MS Paint jumpscare but something like this

ANYWAYS I imagine reader had seen him from the window that you can peak in from just him swimming around and being completely fascinated by him. Stuff happens, and they decide to try to see him without their superiors knowing so... I decided I would pull directly from one of my old fics:

You first met Sebastian fully at night, when most scientists were already resting in their own quarters. You were already shown where you would stay, yet you couldn’t get the image of Sebastian out of your mind. You wanted to meet him directly. He was the first of the subjects that you met, against all safety protocols and you remember he himself mentioning it. He was rude and in all ways, a certified asshole, immediately tricking you by making you walk a bit too close and effectively making you fall in his tank. He didn’t keep you there however, you knew he didn’t like your presence but you couldn’t resist wanting to learn more about him.

How I imagine reader's and Sebastian's relationship was just, a really rocky start because we have reader who wanted to know more about him and then we have Sebastian who didn't want to know anything about reader because they are just another scientist. He never left his containment either because I imagine that the other prisoners would give him funny looks and dislike his presence because of how he was. I think... he was very bitter. It took a lot for him to warm up as he did… Especially with someone who was one of the scientists! 

“You really don’t know do you?” Sebastian snarled slightly, his casual facade crumbling briefly as his expression went more of pity. “Of course you don’t, you keep coming in here as if I can’t kill you right here and now.” You frowned at him. “I’m here to learn-” “You are trapped. They have you right where they want you. The moment that you have served your purpose they will kill you.” He put a claw near you, his other hand flaunting his sharp nails. You took a step back, sensing danger unconsciously. He noticed, his trained eyes on you like a predator. “Word of advice, start making yourself useful and leave me alone.”

I always saw that reader was treading on treacherous waters... always seeing Sebastian secretly at night and after talking with him, he would eventually warm up because whether he liked it or not, I think he was lonely. Because he would live without speaking with anyone and talking to someone who's a lot more genuine... I don't think the reader is like the other scientists at all, I don't think that it would even be known what Urbanshade was doing! I think Urbanshade just flaunts a lot and doesn't hide anything, but makes any new interns or hires go through the longest paperwork part of their work EVER to see if they are dedicated before kinda forcing the unethical experiments... basically like roping in with mundanity and beauty, the curiousity on how these beautiful sea creatures are made only to find out that it was all done with torture--

SO my point is that reader didn't know what happened to Sebastian, nor knew why he was so standoffish, they were forced to do ONLY paperwork and their free time went into seeing the subject that they can see very very easily. It was like... just the curiousity of what Sebastian was, what he was capable of, etc etc. I don't think reader even knew that he was... human. And he doesn't mention it either... I think he only mentions it soooo much later... As for Sebastian’s side of things, I imagine he decided to entertain the reader only because atp he’s thinking he can probably use their naivety for his escape!

ANYWAYS to skip ahead because I have JUST SEEN THE SHEER LENGTH OF THIS IM SOOOO SORRY I LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY CREATIONS IDK lore dump moment

So at one point, Urbanshade notices that reader is interacting with Sebastian, however, instead of like, stopping them, I imagine that Urbanshade instead saw an opportunity. Sebastian doesn’t talk to ANYONE so suddenly finding out that he’s talking to someone??? 

It was only much later that he actually warmed up to your presence, choosing to follow you around when you were stuck doing your boring paperwork. You were starting to regret applying here as they wanted to wait a really long time until you could actually do any hands-on work. However, Sebastian’s presence made the situation a lot more bearable, as he would sometimes read over your shoulder and mention things that you would outright forget to write down. Because of his seeming attachment to you, your higher-ups completely changed your temporary job of reading and copying down paperwork into instead… still do the same thing but also look over Sebastian’s behaviour. They would say how you were the only person that he got along with, which meant it was the opportune moment to find out more about him and fill his file even more as it was severely lacking apparently. And so started your Behavioural Scientist job with no hiccups whatsoever. Especially not after begging Urbanshade not to let you go after the internship ended, convincing them that you were the only person who managed to get even remotely close to Sebastian’s good graces. No issues at all... 

OH and at some point reader is given their own office and it’s because they had a normal desk like other people before but because Sebastian is.. big… he would push the desks all the time and he would apologize to the scientists but you can tell he wasn’t being genuine as the malice was obvious on him SCREAMING but after having TOO MANY complaints about Sebastian following reader around and reader insisting that they need him to follow because it’s their job, Urbanshade just gave them a temporal office (that became their permanent office for years to come)--

I think it’s there where Sebastian starts seeing reader as a “friend”, they never hurt him and quickly realise that reader was genuinely not evil like the scientists that experimented on him. While Urbanshade made reader the behavioural scientist, they started working with other subjects as well (as you guys know) and Sebastian started seeing reader in a much more positive light. 

Reader goes on vacation sometimes, brings a lot of trinkets and pictures of the outside world to Sebastian. I think he tries to keep a strong face when he gets some of those things, he misses the outside world. I like to think reader asked him once what was his favorite snack and he would mention something from Chile and reader would get it for him and that’s probably the first time that he does cry in front of them because of the whole emotion of having something that’s basically a comfort food after so long. It was like a taste of freedom. Something to look forward to and not give up to Urbanshade. And seeing as how reader didn’t look disappointed or in any negative emotion I think that’s when Sebastian just completely changed his perspective. The idea where now in his grand plan of escaping the Blacksite that he had been making the moment that Urbanshade stopped doing the extreme experiments and let him walk (slitter?) freely now would include reader. 

While he knows reader is there for the other subjects too, he also knows that they are mostly there for him counting as I imagine there is a lot of subjects that reader can’t understand (like the angler… or pandemonium…) and while Sebastian knows a lot of them thanks to working with reader so closely (him reading all these classified documents) that he weights if he would escape the Blacksite he would want to take reader with him. I think at first when they met he was like they might die but its a sacrifice for his escape (they are but another scientist), but now he’s like if they die I die (“I have failed.”).

BASICALLY I imagine their friendship that is very slowburn but in the end they become extremely loyal to each other, reader doesn’t know that they are part of his plan now. I mention it in A Human’s Touch but Sebastian has this hidden room where he keeps all these things and he probably has written (in a coded language) a whole plan of his escape + what he would do once he gets out of the Blacksite. At first it only included him but the longer he spent with reader the more he kept in mine their safety as they are the only friend he’s had for years and they are ATTACHED. 

Oh and a final note, Sebastian’s bracelets were given by reader, but i wanted to talk briefly on the obsidian one because I went with spirituality and symbolism as to why I took that material… obsidian bracelets mean protection, grounding and emotional healing… a lot of mental clearance and transforms negative energy to positive ones. I like to think that reader got it for him after learning more about him, because just as he wants them to be safe, they want him to be safe too. Their biggest fear is that Urbanshade would want to experiment harder again with him again and/or kill him. Sebastian shares the same fear.

OK I think I am... done... I'm so sorry AGAIN if something doesn't make sense... feel free to send an ask.... That goes for anyone ofc but yes... I'm crazy but if you got this far here's a quick doodle I did for your troubles dear reader

[lollytea]

please please my dear tell me a story of one of Willow's murders

I'm gonna copy and paste down some of the idea from the DMs from a while ago. I'll only steal the messages I wrote, which is why they might look disorganised. Cuz I'm replying to something another person said. Anyway forgive it for being sloppy, you know how it is with DMs:

- We had the hc that having a galdorstone for a heart might tamper with Hunter's blood. Like the liquid would be imbued with an unstable amount of magic.

Its considered extremely dangerous to work with grimwalker blood. Raine and the rest of the lab experimented with a literal DROP that Hunter donated once and it made shit fucking explode. Its just WAY too much to handle.

But obviously, that's not gonna stop some people from trying to get a hold of it. It's considered extremely valuable. It will sell for SO MUCH at the night market.

Obviously anybody who's willing to risk everyone else's safety to get hold of an absolutely lethal substance and possibly harm/capture Hunter to bleed him dry, would obviously be an absolutely depraved awful person. Just vile.

However, people do not go after Hunter as often as one might think. It definitely happens every once in a while tho.

Willow is up early tending to her garden, letting Hunter sleep in an extra few hours before he has to go to work. She's taken the baby from her cradle so she doesnt cry and wake up Papa and now has her sleeping in a sling against Willow's chest, soothed by the sound of Mama's heartbeat.

Willow's whole garden abruptly shifts in a way only she can notice and she lifts her head, alerted to the apparent disturbance. She recognizes the signal. It means there's an intruder.

Willow approaches the back yard where there is a man who tried to break in by their window but was immediately snatched and restrained by vines.

Willow quickly deduces who he is by rooting around in his pockets and discovering his identifications, weapons, vials, ropes and sleep potions.

"Let me guess," Willow says softly. "You're here for my husband,"

Said husband continues to sleep on peacefully, as does the baby curled up against her breast. The baby doesn't wake because Willow's heartbeat remains steady.

The Boiling Isles doesn't have Coven Scouts anymore. There's no longer a police form. Meaning, it's easier to get away with crimes. You won't go to jail. However you might get slaughtered in cold blood if you pick the wrong target.

Willow thinks about strangling him until his organs pop but she decides against it.

She won't kill him.

Instead she smothers his mouth shut in vines so he can't scream. (The two loves of her life are sleeping ssshhhh)

She sprouts the plants that Hunter was always deeply fascinated with. The ones that sizzle and boil and devour flesh.

She has it slither up the intruders body, leeching against his left leg, his right arm, his back, his collarbone. The acidic spit stings like a nightmare. It takes chunks out of him.

He'll live. He's in immense pain and no healing magic will ever fix that but he'll survive. He'll never forget the mistake he made in threatening her family tho.

Willow lets him go and sends him off. She gives him very firm instructions.

"Your friends, partners, whoever put this stupid idea in your head, you go back and you tell them I went easy on you. Consider yourself a warning to them. You will never attempt to touch that man. Do you understand me?"

- I like the thought she wouldn't have tortured him quite so severely if they didn't have a baby. Like No. You won't touch her husband. You won't touch her baby's Papa. They're starting a family together and she will melt you from the inside out if you try to get in their way

- As soon as she fucking renders a guy to a gasping wreck because of the excruciating pain she put him through, she calmly strolls back into the house, into their room and sits down by her husband.

She pecks his lips and she hears him groan.

"It's about time you woke up," She says, tenderly brushing back his hair.

Eyes still closed, Hunter raises a hand and searches around for hers. He finds it and presses her palm against his cheek.

"Okay...I'm up...I'm up...." He mumbles, still half asleep.

He has no idea. And he probably won't. He's not adverse to his wife *handling* problems like these. He just asks that she not tell him the details. Makes him nauseous

- It's the reason she has absolutely no mercy. Her methods are not only ruthless but strategic. There are people who want to harm her husband and she wants them feeling just as helpless, haunted and traumatized by her actions as she was in that graveyard all those years ago.

She needs them scared of her. She need them to shit themselves in fear over the IDEA of ever going near Hunter again. She kills some intruders. But mostly she mangles them and sends them running so people understand the kind of pain she could put them through too.

She wants them scared. Because *she's* scared. She's scared of being the princess who loses the prince. So she becomes the fire breathing dragon instead.

She often wants to hold him in her arms for a very long time. Even if he's reading or carving or typing some fanfic on his laptop she'll cuddle him from behind. He doesn't always know what she needs comfort from but he's familiar with how she acts when she needs it. So he let's her hold him

Its when Hunter is holding their baby in his arms, talking softly to her, allowing her to seize hold of his finger, that Willow is like "We are going to have a happy peaceful future together if it kills me"

- Willow gets no joy out of killing people but it doesn't make her uncomfortable in the way that it does to Hunter.

When Willow was little and her powers were out of control, she always worried that one day she could seriously hurt somebody and not mean to.

But that's not the case anymore. Sometimes she kills somebody. And she *does* mean to. Everything that's keeping Willow sane and stable and in control of herself are her friends and family. Meaning she will do whatever it takes to strike down any threat to them. She doesn't CARE. She realizes that some people are beyond redemption and if she kills, she kills.

Hunter, meanwhile, has reservations about killing, no matter how vile the person is. Like he is absolutely capable of it. He's strong and tough and powerful. HOWEVER the grimwalker trauma is rooted deep. Its a really troubling thought to shake off, knowing you were literally *constructed* to slaughter witches. It's an act of defiance that he never sheds a witch's blood *once.* If he's ever forced to, it would probably send him spiraling. But like. He's not all "nooo Willow everybody deserves to live." He understands killing as self defense. He just doesn't want to be the one doing it. If he's ever around when Willow has to do it, he turns the other way so he doesn't have to see.

[travellingwiththedead]

Ok, thoughts on my second watch of iwtv s2e8 behind read more (because spoilers and shit):

so sad that the season is already over but also so looking forward to next season ^.^

Does Lestat know Nicki had a grave in the cellar of the theatre? Also Nicki was only 27? Hm.

Not them paning over the bookshelves before they drop it all on Daniel later xD

I think the whole pebbles in his Achilles tendons thing Louis is pulling is the most emo shit he's said so far. Like how the heck would you even wear shoes, my man?

"or maybe he has (removed them) and he's been lying to you all these years for effect." Daniel, you got those two old men down perfectly. I bet that's exactly it. There never were any rocks and Louis is just trying to make Armand extra miserable.

Louis playing "what if" games and always getting to the same result. You're just too down bad for that frenchman, my dear, there was never any other way for this to play out.

Armand, how much are you lying right now, my dear? I doubt they'd leave you in charge of the place where they're keeping your lover in a box in the wall....

I want Daniel's powers of multitasking xD Look at him have a whole conversation with heckin Raglan while still taking apart those old vampires and not getting caught. (Also Daniel's name on the chat xD Pulitzerootwo)

Louis in his manic Blade era, gods Jacob Anderson, the actor you are.

I kinda wish they had spent longer on him taking down the theatre but I get that they only had so much screen time and a lot of stuff to cover.

At least we got him taking down Santiago with that machete, A+

"If I'm not with him, I'm nothing" oh Armand, dear, we need to get you some self-respect. See also him staying with Louis for 70 years knowing exactly that Louis is only doing it to get back at his ex.

I guess they finally remembered VC vampires are literally dead to the world by day.

But if they were sleeping shouldn't it be daytime outside? And it clearly is still night when Louis walks out.

Louis goading Santiago into acting unwise is so good. (Also the glee Ben Daniels talked about the fake head with was so cute, I love it.)

Real Rashid, you're great. Glad they didn't eat you.

Oh Lestat, you're so unwell, quoting Magnus' words back at yourself. Also the heckin shackles on the wall and the alleged bruises that might have been on his wrists at the trial....

"Does it take a lot out of you, destroying everything in your wake?" Ooooh, the way we can't really tell if he's talking to Louis or Armand because Armand is standing behind Louis. "Well, almost everything". So it can be Louis destroying everything but Armand or Armand destroying everything but Louis.

Shut up Armand, how dare you say he came home. Rude, so rude.

And again I wonder if I made it up that they said "You can't burn Lestat twice" because they didn't even burn him once.

I guess Louis being a petty bitch and saying "Your punishment is that I'll be with someone else" is a kind of burn, tho? xD

Ok, boys, you can stop trying to sell your big romance now, no one is buying it any longer xD

And then Daniel drops his bombs, gotta love this old man. Also he really is a good reporter, that's the thing. He's good at his job and also an arsehole about it xD

I wonder if the telepathy with the tractor sales man fumble was planned or if they actually just wrote Daniel bringing this up because the fans caught them in a mistake LOL

Still don't really get where they're going with the whole "Vampire Sam survived the burning at the theatre and is working with the Talamasca" thing. Except for it being a way to actually have all these documents even after the theatre burned down.

Oh the panic in Armand's face when he realises that Daniel has a script with his notes on it.

If Lestat saved Louis on stage I'm guessing Armand had a different contingency in place for later? Because I really, really doubt he'd have let Louis burn on that stage.

Daniel is having way too much fun antagonizing these vampires xD I thought you wanted to make it out alive, my dear? Poking the bears is not how you do that, usually LOL

Daniel you smug little shit xD

Also why does it take Raglan heckin James telling you to get out of there to think of maybe getting out of there? Idiot with no self-preservation instincts xD

Ghost tour guy talking about murder night is so funny. "Sebastian Melmoth", "Lesander Lioncourt", "A 'so called' frenchman", and Louis' little grin xD awwww

"a local creole hustler and his little child bride, they were running a voodoo cult in the back rooms" Louis face at this also hilarious

Lestat in his depression episode in his little moss house with the ipad and the fake piano.

Oh the acting from Sam and Jacob in this scene, so good.

Lestat remembering the date and exact time Armand contacted him in the 70s. He's literally been suffering since then, hasn't he? Not knowing what Louis did to himself and if he was dead or alive.

Ok but what happened then? Did Louis just leave him in his little moss house with the hurricane tearing it down? It's what he did in the book. Guess we'll find out in s3.

So how much time passed between Dubai and this tv show interview? Are we in 2024 now? Or is it 2023? I guess it would not still be 2022 because publishing a book takes time?

The second I saw him wearing those tinted sunglasses I knew Eric finally got to play a vampire xD good for him, he deserves to have some fun with this next season, too. Also they better show us all the things between Daniel and Armand leading up to this. All. The. Things.

Love Daniel going off at the news guy because he doesn't give any more of a shit now that he's a vampire than he did when he was a mortal LOL

Finally some colour on Louis and in his penthouse again!

"No editors next book, I promise" xD

Why do Daniel's eyes change from blue to orange like that, tho, when he takes off the glasses?

Vampire!Daniel sounds way more like his 70s self than his 2022 self and I love it. He's so far definitely having fun

Louis, you big dolt, don't tell the angry vampires to come and get you. That's Lestat's thing and he's idiot enough for the both of you LOL (EDIT: Also he got rid of Armand's tree xD)

I think, as final episodes go, this was not bad. But e5 remains my fav from this season. It was just so good.

Now bring on s3 asap, AMC

[cicidarkarts]

very important question : what is your biggest hear me out? (besides Idrees)

This is a difficult question given Idrees is 100000% my weirdest/worst Hear Me Out. Of that, there's no question. The ones that follow after are extremely tame in comparison. So instead of trying to convince you that one of these bros is my weirdest Hear Me Out, I'll just type up a compilation of my fave sexy fictional men and let you guys decide.

Let's start with my OG crush, the first dude (fictional or otherwise) that made me go OH. I like men. I like them quite a lot.

Thief King Bakura from Yugioh. I think this one is hard to call a Weird Hear Me Out because... Well... He's hot. Kinda hard to look at him and disagree, whether or not he's your type. Just sort of conventionally attractive to look at. The weirdest part about him is that he's crazy. But he was the first time I ever saw a man and caught feelings, so he means a lot to me. Sure wish he could've gotten an actual Egyptian name, tho. More below the cut <3

Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist. He's a religious fanatic in his own right, yet has his own motivations outside of that which drive him to commit the sometimes heinous acts that he does. However, he believes he's acting in the right (and sometimes, I agreed with him). Another that's... Difficult to call weird. He's hot.

Kimihiro Watanuki from Holic. My favorite anime and one of my favorite anime characters. But Watanuki is a very complex character with a ton of good qualities (amazing chef, very chivalrous, will do anything for his friends, and isn't afraid to show his emotions). I guess the weirdest part about him (aside from the style of the series) is his dramatic, energetic nature. Especially when compared to more down-to-earth characters like Idrees or Scar.

Little Creek from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Another dude who is attractive even if he's not your type. The only reason this might be a shocking Hear Me Out is because I literally never hear anyone talking about him even though he fucks. He's reckless, but damn if he isn't resourceful. He's also shown to be compassionate and fun-loving. :3

The Jolly Olly man/Will from Hey Arnold. Will is certainly a strange character, another candidate for weird just based off of his dramatic theatrics alone. He's also very rarely ever talked about. Dude makes me laugh and is pretty cute ngl.

Okay, maybe I do like 'em a little dramatic. Cesare from Bigtop Burger. I've also got a thing for zombies (I also like Fallout ghouls), so that's not helpful here. Cesare makes me laugh. A lot. A lot a lot. And I discovered him while going through postpartum depression (anyone who knows about that knows I went through it HARD and it was extremely rough). So that contributed to me falling for this dude at the time. It was brief, but I still appreciate him for helping me feel a bit better back then.

This one might be my weirdest just BASED OFF the other ones. Hank Hill from King of the Hill. Aside from making me laugh until I cry, King of the Hill also gives me: Hank. An awkward man who loves his family, is typically a really great dad (with many flaws, I'm aware), is a bit autistic-coded, and loves his dog. I love great dads and I love dudes who love dogs. Plus, Hank is a giant teddy bear who would be great for cuddles and protecting me, so naturally I have a little crush on him.

I'm sorry to everyone who may disappointed by this, but Lucas Baker from Resident Evil VII is a bygone era of fangirlism. I just don't find him interesting or attractive anymore, and a lot of my interest in him at the time was based around certain traumas I'd endured and had been working through when RE7 came out. Now that I've processed what happened, Lucas just... Doesn't do it for me. But I wrote and finished an entire book about him (that you can find here on Ao3 if you'd like to read it!) so he doesn't just mean nothing to me now. Make of that what you will, or if he even counts as a Hear Me Out anymore.

This one is a Hear Me Out mostly because he's canonically 16. But aside from that, there's nothing that weird about enjoying Jet from Avatar: The Last Airbender. He's easily my favorite, and an endlessly fascinating character. Though charming and manipulative, he fell from grace by the end of his introduction episode. And he really seemed to be trying to turn over a new leaf, but his trauma and hatred took hold of him. I can't blame him for that, and I'm very disappointed that his arc ended the way it did. He's a really interesting character who I think was the perfect middle-man grey area for this show, that they just kinda... Fumbled. Just deserved better. Sorry, Jet. :(

Denahi from Brother Bear. Pre or post facial hair, this was just a pretty gif :3 He's such a dork in the beginning of the movie, just pure older brother/middle child energy. But damn by the end, he proved himself to be a determined and capable man who loves his family. But he was able to put all of his rage aside, and avoided accidentally killing his brother. Sitka was also really hot (he was intelligent, intuitive, and compassionate), but Denahi was the one I gravitated towards.

Yami Marik from Yugioh is another weird one by virtue of being CRAZY AS A LUNATIC but that's why I love him, he's so fun :3 Besides, what that tongue do

Here are few rapid-fire honorable mentions of gorgeous men:

Aladdin because he's hot, intelligent as hell, resourceful, god just look at him in that outfit tho, and mans will do anything for love.

Silva from Shaman King; ngl it's like 90% of the Patch Tribe but Silva is the one I chose as the rep. I don't know a lot about Shaman King, but I do know the Patch Tribe deserved better, and there are a ton of hot dudes in the Patch :)

David Kawena from Lilo and Stitch because he's soooo sweet and such a good father figure for Lilo?? Everyone says Flynn Rider is best Disney Dude but I disagree. That's David.

Jason Bright from Fallout: New Vegas. A sentient Glowing One? Smash. Art by OrugaYego on X!

Both of them. Ganondorf, specifically the Twilight Princess version. Large imposing dude, please snap me in half

Rudy Ayoub makes me laugh, he's attractive as hell, and he's weird to me because I so very rarely find irl dudes attractive (though, I guess to be fair, the ones I do tend to find attractive tend to be Arabic, so Rudy just be out here cheating the system)

So as you can see, I don't have a TON of really weird Hear Me Outs. I tend to just enjoy human characters so there's no random furry I can pull out of the works, and my weird Hear Me Outs are based solely on personality traits. So what do you guys think? Which one of these was the weirdest to you?

[cleoselene]

All The Concerts!

my mom wrote down every concert she's ever been to and it's a LOT, like in the triple digits

and it got me thinking if I could name every concert I've ever been to? I am fearful I might forget some tho my MS memory sucks but here goes:

New Kids on the Block

Boyz II Men/MC Hammer

Tori Amos (x7)

Switchblade Symphony

KMFDM with Nivek Ogre

VNV Nation (x2)

Air Supply (x2)

Terri Clark (lol I hated country when my family dragged me to this one, I was in my peak Snob Goth era)

Garth Brooks (happened much later when I had learned to embrace country)

Peter Cetera

Sarah McLachlan

The Editors

Radiohead (i hated this hahah, it was so fucking boring like their music. My friend bought the tickets and I had hoped seeing them live would make it click. It did not. I was bored and cold because it was raining in Seattle)

Coldplay (was so much better than Radiohead, seethe snobby indie rock fans)

Regina Spektor

The Decemberists (literally the worst concert I've ever seen. Again I did not buy the tickets but my friend who liked going to indie rock shows always bought two tickets in hopes of getting a date and I was her backup if she didn't. To be clear even though this and Radiohead sucked, I did have a great time with my friend both times)

Cake

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic

Puscifer

Barry Manilow

ummm now I'm drawing a blank but I KNOW I've been to more shows and the stupid brain damage is making me forget. I've always been to see a fuck ton of tribute bands at this supper club, and tbh they were almost all really good. The Pink Floyd one especially. Also lol in middle school once this club I was in had a band come perform and they were like... a hair metal Christian band that took mainstream rock songs like "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi and changed the lyrics to like... "LIVING 'CAUSE I PRAAYYYY" and it was fucking hilarious. It's driving me crazy tho because I know there are more actual real concerts I am forgetting -_-

so i guess if you count all the artists I saw multiple times, it comes to... *maths* 28 concerts? Which tbh does not feel like nearly enough.

on the bucket list:

Vienna Teng

Brandi Carlile

Portishead (lol this will never happen but a girl can dream)

Beyoncé

Taylor Swift

TOOL

A Perfect Circle

The Amazing Devil (which is somehow even less likely than Portishead)

SO I'LL MAKE THIS A MEME. Tell me which concerts you've been to, and tell me which concerts you feel like you MUST see before you die. @deathinthesun @an-ivy-covered-summer @swiftzeldas @sylvieons and whoever else wants to do it~

I did get Taylor tickets last year HOWEVER they were... beyond atrocious, the seats. Like, upper upper deck, BEHIND the stage with like no visibility, not even of the screens, because again: BEHIND. I had like three people trying to get tickets that day and 2/3 of us failed but my friend succeeded and she was like "do you want me to buy these? they're upper deck" and I was like yeah yeah that's okay! We can look at the screens! And then I saw the "OBSTRUCTED VISIBILITY" thing and looked at the layout and I was like...kind of devastated, honestly? It's really hard for me to do an outing like that physically, it was outdoors in April (which translates to HOT in Florida) and I just didn't see myself able to endure 5 or 6 hours at minimum in the heat without like, passing out and dying. Not to mention I'm still really scared of being in a large space with that many people because my disease-modifying drug destroys most of my immune system. I ended up selling them, and... buying my vinyl collection lol. Taylor got a lot of that money again because I bought a lot of her records. I'm kind of bummed that maybe I missed my chance forever, but again, I don't think I could have physically swung it. Plus, of the three nights she did Tampa, the show I was supposed to go to had meh surprise songs while the other 2 nights had AMAZING ones, so I know I would have been salty about that too. ONE DAY THO.

[zzencat]

Feedback: Omg thank you so much for the reading! It really resonated with me especially the first part. I've had other readings as well and they always mention that I should start journaling. It's also really scary and crazy that you mentioned recording voice memos because I just started doing that yesterday and was planning to continue doing it just to get my thoughts in order and as a substitute for journaling since my thoughts go faster than my hands can write (like you mentioned). It's true that I don't trust my intuition, I'm a person that really second guesses things and overthinks everything and I don't really like to/or know how to sit down and let my thoughts flow. I'm also a really pessimistic person like you said and just tend to think of the worst case scenario to things and it's true that I do feel like it blocks me spiritually. I've also been told before that I'm really harsh on myself and that I should be more gentle with myself but I find it hard to do that, it's like sometimes I don't really realize I'm doing that. As for the communication skills, I think I really do have poor communication skills, although I don't know if I would consider them rough just more awkward and I tend to mumble and talk fast since I'm trying to get my point across quickly so that the people I'm talking to don't get bored or so that I don't get interrupted. I also find it hard sometimes to articulate what I want to say and I have a hard time speaking up and talking to people in general since I feel like people don't want to talk to me and I'm being a bother, or I just feel insecure and don't want to be perceived sometimes. As for the job, I would like to try for more leadership roles but I always feel like people won't take me seriously and I'm afraid I might get overwhelmed too lol. Thanks for the advice on the spirit guides as well. I really want to start connecting with mine more and just be more spiritual but I didn't really know how to start doing that but I really like your advice so I'll definitely try to implement it. I would really love to be more in tune with myself (my intuition) and to be able to communicate with them and I also really want to learn how to do tarot in the future in order to do that. Thanks on the info for my future spouse as well. They sound lovely and I hope that they feel better. I can also relate to them about learning to set up their boundaries since I think I tend to struggle with that as well. And thank you for the third part as well, no one's really confessed to me before so I've never really known if anybody had a crush on me or if someone has a crush on me now so it's interesting to know that there might be someone interested in me romantically. It's funny because I think I'm very attracted to leader vibes, I'm currently realizing that a lot of my K-pop biases are leaders or they just give off that energy lol. As for the accepting of confessions thing I can see how I might get excited that someone would confess to me and so I would just accept them because I've never been confessed to before so I'll definitely remember your advice. Thank you so much once again and sorry if I wrote/rambled too much. 💕

real CRAZY TO HEAR THAT what the hell??? 😳😳 the voice recording thing has my eyes wide open…

I get it tho, communication ain’t easy- I mean, if it was, would we really be having all these divorce rates?? full grown ass adults still struggle with it and that’s fair enough, so don’t beat yourself up over it. it takes time and practice as much as anything else. start slow and easy yk? as another little example of how your spirit guides might reach you, is if the song you have playing suddenly stops at a certain minute…say, 3:22 for example…if you saw 22 or 222 or 322 again later that day or ongoing for days and weeks and months, you’ll start to assign some kind of meaning to that- now the meaning can be anything but i do like to search them up on google or youtube just to see what other meanings it could have, since there are just…so many angel numbers. it came to the point where i would see combos of 22 pretty much everyday (WITHOUT seeking it out, bc these occurrences are supposed to be genuine, not purposely waiting for 2:22 to hit or show up). for me 222, meant “be prepared (usually for something negative)” and “have strength.” a huge example of the foreshadowing id mentioned, was the fact that i got fired at a job a few months ago and 3:22 was literally on the clock 😭 but hey, i was prepared at least. but it does push you towards alignment!! it’s kinda like the death card in a way

but anywho!!!! YES definitely start off by something simple like numbers- AND RMR you can see them literally anywhere- on taxis, buses, license plates, shirts, etc., not just time :)

i think rather than THE leader role, you’d be like a secretary like id mentioned or someone that aids the head in some way so that you could serve as some sort of balance. but that’s real interesting!! i don’t blame ya…kpop leaders are really something else 😂 but im glad you sent this in man i appreciate your feedback and your time :D

[simpjaes]

i have a dang lady boner for your writing fr. i wasnt reading who wrote for the hoon fic but found myself completely immersed in that only to scroll back up and see your name. realising exactly why im enjoying it sm. idk how or why i like ur writing sb ure my no 1 fav writer here😔 but then i havent find myself reading ur “dark” ones cus im scared of reading them and liking it, i might never go back?? haha. soo ur toned down ones is the best for me cus smth less than that is boring😭lol sorry for this but i just like ur writing so much hehe

;O;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy to know i got u bricked up LMFAO, what do u mean tho by you don't know how or why u like my writing? ; - ; if it's something you don't normally read, i'm taking it as a hella compliment! Also very thankful you see me are ur number 1 fave writer omg sdjkfhfjdshjkshfdkjs c'mere, i need to kiss ur forehead?!??

i realize you already answered my previous question of "why" and "how" bc you avoid my darker stuff. tbh, you just have to remember that this is fictional and not real. it's okay to like what you like, i'll never shame you! but also, do not read anything you're uncomfortable with!

I'd like to say my "darker" fics have enough plot in them to kind of, explain i guess, why the characters are the way they are. I will always be a lover of darker fiction simply because it just hits different, especially when someone knows how to write it. I'm not ashamed to say that either! But if you're afraid or uncomfortable with the idea of liking it, I understand!!! I hope you enjoy my lighter stuff ; u ;

[lenievi]

For the fic writer asks: 1, 9, 21, 24, 30! 💙

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

This year, I included characters exchanging messages. I had fun writing them, and I was told that my formatting and the inclusion was done well, so I'm sure I'll try it again it the future.

And the other "first time" was including explicit-ish(?) sex... based on the comments, it was successful, I guess (I haven't reread that fic since I published it 😅). I tried to focus more on the emotional part, because that was what was important to me in that fic, and it seems that that worked well as well. I'm sure I'll try it again with mckirk, I'm not sure about other trek ships (but never say never).

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

In the Embers, my Kirk/La'an fic. Not necessarily because of the themes or anything profound, but it was a fic that I wrote after a spones day fic which was really hard for me to write or even come up with, because I had to force myself to write it (I'm still surprised it's so popular because I really struggled lol) - which is why I'm not forcing myself to come up with a fic for the spones zine, even though I'd like to participate, but I'm done forcing myself to write something just because I feel like I should. So the Kirk/La'an fic was very easy and relaxing, it's my longest fic to date, and I could pour all my love for Kirk/La'an into it, and writing from La'an's POV was also very freeing.

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue.

I posted one in this answer. I know I could post another, but this is going to be long 😅

24. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

Kirk wanting sex with McCoy T_T It really came out of nowhere, I haven't sat down to write the fic with "they're gonna have sex". It just happened and so the fic happened the way it did. (For some reason, mckirk is just really easy to imagine in a sexual way. Even my very first mckirk fic last year almost had a threesome... at the end they only kissed the same woman lol)

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I would really like to finish my "when McCoy came to the Enterprise, he and Kirk weren't friends" fic (but they slept with each other three years prior...). “I served on a starship before. Captains and doctors don’t mesh well.” is the vibe. I'm just really into McCoy only realizing what a Starfleet officer could be like after meeting Kirk. Finding his place in Starfleet after years of running away from Earth and from himself. Finding his own dream. Kirk making him struggle between being an officer and a doctor. McCoy killing someone/something to save Kirk (ala The Man Trap, but tweaked)

I'd also like to write some TOS films era fics. A mckirk one set either after TFF or TUC. A Kirk-centric one where he retires from Starfleet before TWOK and goes to his uncle's farm to ride horses (I'll turn it into a mckirk fic too, probably lol) But I'm just obsessed with his literal retirement.

Also since last year, I've wanted to write a fic featuring Kirk's birthday. I should probably start thinking about it again, since I have three months... (probably won't happen like last year tho)

[fic writer asks]

[northerngoshawk]

😡🫦😀 for the fic ask game!

hi hello sorry this is eons late um--

i really don't have a great reason to give on why except school + hyperfixation on Genshin so, uh--

i think this ask was from this ask game? idk but the emojis seem to line up so... yeah. better late than never ig. hahaha....

😡which fic did the characters control the most (like you wrote a whole ass plan AND THEY DECIDED TO FUCK IT UP)?

i'll be honest, there isn't a lot of cases where that happened? almost, if not all, of my fics tended to stay on the path i meant for them to go upon - although it may also have to do with the fact that i don't tend to plan that tediously out anyways hahaha

i think if i had to choose a fic, i would go with a thousand and one lifetimes. it was just meant to be only a few words each section, but then each section kept growing. and growing. and growing. and--

yeah, ig it can't be helped tho. i really, really love the platonic (and potential platonic!) relationships Aang could have with the rest of the cast in ATLA, not to mention that AUs are my bread and butter and i love love LOVE exploring established dynamics in a newfound setting.

🫦what is your biggest regret in one of your fics whether it be something you wish you didn't do, or you wish you did do?

i think one of the things i regret was writing bleeding out (with you to carry me home) in general, mostly because it just... it feels like gratituitous angst. it doesn't really have much of a purpose, other than to produce some kind of angst. maybe it was a fix i needed when i was writing it in the moment, but now, looking back... i just don't think it serves much more of a purpose beyond that.

with that being said, a specific regret i have is writing the platonic zukaang section in there. not because i don't like it or i don't want it there, it's that i feel that it's one of the only redeeming qualities of this fic. it's a pretty nice jewel of writing, and i think it deserves to be in a more... thought-provoking fic, ig? idk.

maybe i'm just being overly harsh to my past self, the same way most of us are to our past writing skills. it's not like i'm gonna delete the fic or anything either, i guess it's just me wondering what could've been.

😀which of your fics did you not think a lot people would like but they did?

hands down The Dishonored Blade. it was an incredibly niche fic that was written just for me, and considering it combined ATLA and League of Legends, i'm still surprised i got the amount of kudos i did.

i think a part of it could have been it was written and published during 2021, when the ATLA fandom craze was still happening and thus a lot of people from both fandoms were present at the time. especially when compared to its sequel The Darkened Path (which was written in 2023), i feel like i would have to attribute most of my kudos to the fandom craze.

either way, i'm still pleasantly surprised at the kudos count and even fans who commented on this piece! there was even a reader who was knowledgable about the League of Legends lore and asked to see a more fleshed out universe of this form. it really warms my heart knowing that even the most niche of fics will find its place somewhere... even if it's not where we initially thought.

[kidge-planet]

KIDGE SUMMER EVENT

Day 3 : road trip

Characters: Pidge/Katie holt, Keith Kogane, Hunk Garret, Lance Mcclain, Takashi/Shiro Shirogane, Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe

Pairing: pidge and keith : kidge

post season 8/ canon AU

tw: language

A/N: I wrote that one a long time ago and my english was pretty bad back then so im very sorry if some sentences seem weird ... Also, I know that how I wrote it looks like the fanfiction I wrote for the second day of the event but it's not on purpose lol. anyways, enjoy :)

(other a/n at the end)

-HAAAA , GLAD SUMMER FINALY ARRIVED !! PLUS , We finaly get to spend time together !

Lance said taking his suitcase in the van that the paladin's had borrowed for a road tripe .

-sure lance.... shiro is there air conditioning in the van ??... it's so hot in here ...

-yes hunk ... guys !! does every one packed their stufs in the van ??

Everyone noded .

-well , for us to not have any problems in the road , I made a plan of who is sitting next to who :

first , I'll be driving t'ill it's 6pm , so until 6pm , hunk will be next to me in the front place because he is capable of vomiting while im driving .. ever since only the front windows can be fully oppened , Hunk will have to stay on the front...

behind , keith , you'll be on the right sit and Lance in the left .

-HA NO SHIRO !! why did you had to put mullet next to me ?!

Lance frowned .

-don't worry , pidge will be in the middle . Ever since she is the smallest and also because if you two start fighting , she'll kill you both .. can I count on you Pidge ?

-I guess....

-good . Then , coran , you'll have the back place just for you . You'll be driving all night so , we need you to rest .

-Why does Coran get the best place ?! that's unfaire !

-Im the oldest ! if I sleep , all day , I need to be confortable .

-Alright , everyone , in the van , let's not get late .

everyone sighed and headed to the van .

They sat and the van engin started making noise .

-Keith , if you start annoying me , I'll use my special attack.

-You're the one annoying me... just don't talk to me ok ?

-first :keith . You don't want to see his special attack ever since it's a fart . One time , he killed a bug with his fart .. secondly , if you two fight , I'll rip your ass off . Understood ?

Pidge interupted not get her eyes off her nintendo .

The two guys sighed .

-What are you playing by the way ?

Lance asked pidge sidly looking at pidge . ( He was mad that he couldn't keep going on the argument .)

-Well . I am playing pokemon .

-Why did I even ask .. Can I try ?

Pidge thought a moment . If she let lance play with her nintendo , she is sure to not here them fight all day .

-Sure.

She handed her nintendo to Lance .

Pidge sighed and took her heaphones on to listen to some music . She closed her eyes to think .

"great . I can't even rest my head anywhere . I hate being in the middle seat."

She frowned while thinking which keith noticed.

-Something wrong ?

He asked her.

-Pff . Just hate the middle seat . It feels so unconfortable .

keith looked at her a moment.

- Well.. You can rest yourself on me . I don't mind .

- Are you sure ?

-Yeah.

-Thanks.

Pidge immediatly rested her head against keith's shoulder and closed her eyes . This time , not to think , but to enjoy the moment . She never realy huged Keith so this simple contact made her happy .

After a moment , she was on her mind when she felt something different . keith's arm was now behind her , pulling her closer .

She could feel her face getting warm and red .

HO MY GOSHH !? WHY DO I BLUSH ?! Calm down Katie ! it's only Keith ! my dearest and hotest frie-

Shit.

Ok think through .

he is my friend , it is friendly . keith would never like a girl like me .. calm down now. just enjoy.

She pretend to sleep and then burried her head under his arm .

What she didn't knew was that keith was also blushing hard and biting his tong .

He didn't knew why tho .. was it because of her ?..

The night was slowly falling . Lance was still playing with pidge's nintendo , Hunk was talking with shiro and coran was sleeping in the back seats. As for Pidge and Keith , they haden't mooved . Exept that now , Pidge was more tucked onto keith's arms. keith, him , was looking out of the window . all he was thinking about was her and how cute she was looking .

When the sun was compleatly down , they stoped in a parking for coran to drive the night .

In the same time , some people changed sits :

Hunk went where Coran was at first and Lance joined him saying that he didn't wanted to sleep next to the love birds . Shiro took Hunks's place .

Keith and Pidge had now more space. Pidge could go seat in Lance's seat but keith's chest felt way better . It felt so warm and safe .

She was starting to fall asleep and when she finaly was asleep , keith placed her compleatly on his chest . He laid his legs on the seats and now , Keith was half laid with pidge above him . He pated her head and smiled at her cutenes .

-Is pidge asleep ?

shiro asked .

-I guess.

Keith answered .

-ho ok , you can put her on the seat there if she bothers you . Also , for everyone , there are blankets in the back . Lance , can you grab them please ?

Shiro continued .

Lance proceed to do what shiro asked him for .

-Im good , she is not bothering , no worries .

Lance turned to keith with the blankets . He had a grin on his face .

-Woooo~ you like that when she is above you , am I right ?~ Shiro , I told you those two are litteral love birds .

-Shut the fuck up Lance .

Keith said puting a hand on Pidge's ear to not wake her up.

-You guys stop . You two are saying non aproprieted stufs right now . You are sure adultes now but being adult doesn't mean swearing and saying sexual stufs all the time . This is litteraly not the right time . Now grab a blanket and rest , we'll have a long journey before arriving to our first spot..

Both Keith and Lance stayed quiet . Lance got back in his sit and droped two blankets at keith . Keith putted it on pidge and cuddled her a moment .

She sure was the cuddliest thing he EVER hugged . And Keith did huged Arusians back then . He could say ; Pidge's hugs were worthing 1000000 Arusians hugs.

He fell asleep with his arms wraped around her .

In the next morning, the both woke up with a flash light... Two flash lights... They opened their eyes to find Shiro that was taking pictures of the both cuddling and sleeping, Pidge's face nestled under Keith's chin and Keith holding her close to him with his arms wrapped around her.

When they saw it, They both blushed a mess. Pidge was now arguing with Shiro about the pictures.

Even if the morning was a mess, they have to admit:

That was the best sleep they had in a lifetime .

(I have to clarify that even if I did Lance annoying in a few fanfics, I love him <3 )

[shallyne]

SJM Crackshipmonth: Date Night

Baking Love

Day twenty-six of crackshipmonth, with the ship: Morlain! Enjoy! For @sjmcrackshipmonth

Words: 964

TW: none

Mor invites Elain over to teach her how to bake. Elain agrees, not knowing that Mor intended this to be a date

Elain smoothed her dress, righted the bag on her shoulder, took a deep breath and knocked on the white door of Mor's apartment. It took a few moments until she heard footsteps inside, nearing until she heard a click and Mor opened the door standing right in front of Elain. "You're here!" She chirped, embracing Elain. "Come in, come in." she said, stepping aside. Elain walked past her, grabbing into the white bag that was long on her shoulder and pulling out a bottle of wine. "I stole this from Rhysand’s cellar."

Mor threw her head back and laughed, taking the bottle. "I knew I liked you and this," she clucked her long, red painted nails against the bottle, "this is the proof. Follow me, I'll show you the kitchen!"

Elain followed her, surprised to find the kitchen relatively big and open. Mor immediately got two wine glasses while Elain put down her bag, retrieving the ingredients. "Why are you suddenly so interested in learning to bake?"

Mor stopped for only a second, then she cleared her throat and said, "It's kind of a funny story." she filled their glasses and only continued when she pressed one in Elain’s hand. "I was going home after a night out at Rita's and, you know, I craved cookies. I had to have these cookies but no bakery was open and I didn't have anything at home. I was super drunk but I remember that I thought If I could bake, I could just make them myself. I mean, why not? It won't hurt to learn, right?" she laughed, sounding a little nervous." Well now here we are. You are my savior."

Elain laughed softly, feeling her cheeks heating up. "I guess we shouldn't waste time then and start. I wrote down some easy recipes for you from the recipe book in the river manor."

Mor's face lit up and she opened a cabinet, "What do we need? Bowls?"

"That would be a start." Elain giggled, helping Mor find the utensils they needed. They had to improvise with a few things but nothing dramatic. Mor promised her that she would get the right utensils the next day, winking at Elain, telling her that she would never turn down an opportunity for a shopping spree. As they weighed ingredients and mixed them together, they spilled a few times. Admittedly, most was Elain’s fault because for some reason, she was nervous and Mor's proximity didn't make it easier. The blonde didn't seem to mind tho, not in the slightest if the amusement in her expression was any indication. They both went quiet by the time Elain rolled out the cookie dough. There wasn't anything to explain that Mor couldn't learn from watching, which she did, intently.

"How is Feyre?" they both asked at the same time, then chuckled.

"I thought you just saw her this morning?" Elain said first, taking a glass from Mor's cabinet that she would use as a cookie cutter.

"I did," Mor confirmed. "I was only there for about half an hour before I had to go to a meeting for the palaces, representing Rhys. They all seemed to be good, Feyre and Rhys a bit tired and Nyx was a little grumpy because he was hungry. But overall they seemed good. Happy." Mor sighed. "What about you? You live there."

Elain nodded. "I do but I was out the bigger part of the day, helping some elders to maintain their gardens. When I came back I just quickly got ready and went right here."

Mor nodded, "Alright." she smiled brightly. "What's next? Decorating?"

Elain giggled. "No, you first have to bake the cookies. But you can already preheat the oven while I cut out the cookies." she said, "Or do you want to cut them out?"

"It's fine, I can do the next round." Mor told her as she put down her wineglass and turned to the oven. Together they did a quick job of putting the cookies on a tray. Mor rolled out the rest of the dough and cut out the remaining cookies while Elain put the first batch in the oven. Then they just had to wait and sat down together. "I can't wait to do this with Nyx on Solstice."

Elain took a sip of her wine, then put the glass down on the table in front of her. "Me neither." she sighed, watching Mor.

Mor propped her hand on her fist, watching Elain in return. "I'm really grateful that you're teaching me how to bake."

Elain looked away, "It's nothing." she said, playing with a strand of her golden-brown hair. "It's what friends do."

Mor slightly stiffened beside her, "Yeah, that's what friends do."

Elain straightened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume that we're friends, I just thought–"

Mor's eyes widened and she shook her head, "No, mother above, that's not what I mean. I just– I–" she sighed. "Never mind that but you are my friend. I didn't mean to come off like that."

"Please," Elain said, taking Mor's hand, "Please tell me."

"I– Well," Mor flipped her golden hair behind her shoulder, "I hoped you would see this…as a date."

They stared at each other for a moment, "A date?"

"Yes."

Elain blinked, letting her hands fall into her lap. Her eyes fixed on Mor. "Okay." she said, surprised that she meant it. Elain wanted this to be a date. Yes, this was a date. Elain smiled brightly, "Okay," she echoed.

"Really? Are you sure?" Mor asked.

She laughed. "Yes, yes I mean it. I promise." Elain beamed. "And if we want to keep this date free from any catastrophe, we should look at the cookies."

Mor jumped up, "Shit!"

Elain’s laughter echoed through the apartment.

Taglist: @timesconvert

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of January 2024

[last month]

Yeah, winter officially hit this month. Half of December was too Finals to be winter, and the other half was me reflecting on the year in music (so lots of 2023's most hard-hitting songs, which weren't exactly cozy winter music!). But in January, the snowy-gray-won't-leave-the-house mood actually hit--and I think it shows in this list (prepare yourself for LOTS of gloomy folk)! There were so many exciting releases this month, though, even though I couldn't muster up all that much energy about them--I'm really excited to see how the Sleater-Kinney, G-IDLE & Andrea Santiago albums will age!

1 . Boy's a liar Pt.2 -- PinkPantheress, Ice Spice

Yeah I sooooo get it now!! Like I don't fully get the lyrics, but it's so charming that I don't care! It's peak girl-next-door sweetness :)

2. BDH - Acústica Versión -- Bely Basarte

The first time I heard this, I wrote down: "Now THIS is how you do layered harmonies, cowards." I stand by my assessment—this is proof that acoustic tracks aren't boring, at least not when you give them a soundscape as beautiful as this one!

3. Tanta adrenalina -- Bely Basarte

This reminds me of the summer I was obsessed with Chung Ha's "California Dream"—even in January, I need some light, fluffy house in my life! (And yes, you can see that my Bely Basarte phase has kept going strong from last month!!)

4. Big Black Car -- Gregory Alan Isakov

I am a sad boy <3 (HOPE WAS A LETTER I NEVER COULD SEND !!!!)

5. Lost On You -- LP

I've been watching Loudermilk this month, and when I heard this song in the end credits of an episode, I instantly went to find it online. It's so wonderfully desolate, especially with those vocals... and the soft jingling of the guitar... *happy arm wave*

6. Southern Star -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Can’t stop singing this one—the melody is pure magic!

7. When the Party's Over -- Faux Paz

I like the original version better, but I'll never get tired of Faux Paz, either!

8. Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Saw @shyreol post about this, and I'm so glad I decided to check it out (thank you for sharing)!! I'm absolutely obsessed with the hook—instant comfort song!

9. The Healing Game -- Van Morrison

Loudermilk part 2. This one hasn't even been played in the show yet, as far as I know, it just gets quoted by one of the characters—and deservingly, because these lyrics hit HARD. (And now I can cross 'liking a new Van Morrison song' off my music bucket list for the year—thanks, Loudermilk!)

10. Lalalala -- Stray Kids

This one has lost most of its appeal after a few weeks of listening, but it was very good noise to keep me sensory-happy during some rough weeks (and that ‘lalalalala’ hook is still great)! We'll see how it ages, I guess!

11. The Fall -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Speaking of Stray Kids, Isakov's lower register in this song is GLORIOUS.

12. Soldier, Poet, King -- The Oh Hellos

Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard of this one before December! It’s so good tho :)

13. What's Love -- Empress Of, MUNA

This sounds like the best parts of nighttime—it’s a little more muted than most synthpop these days, but it manages to stand out with just how ethereal it is! The production really just gets more beautiful with every listen—okay, maybe I just have a thing for vocoders…

14. La isla de Lesbos -- Javiera Mena

I don't really remember listening to this one in the past month? But I'm not mad about it being here—it's a classic in my book, because I can never say no to sparkly house music!

15. Smiley -- Yena, Bibi

An instant shot of energy, every time!! So glad I finally added Yena to my stan list, her music soooo deserves it!

Five-Star Songs This Month:

Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Hell -- Sleater-Kinney (i mentioned how excited i was about this album right?? i love the texture of this song i love how it go grrrrr i love the line “hell is just a place that / we can’t seem to live without” !! i have a very good feeling about this one helping me get through the year SCREEEEEE)

BDH - Acústica Versión — Bely Basarte

Certainty -- Big Thief (this is what love is to me btw like i realized this month that i don’t think any other song has captured it better so here we are) (YOU LAY BESIDE ME / SLEEPING ON A PLANE / IN THE FUUUUUTUREEEEEEEE)

Was I Just Another One -- Gregory Alan Isakov (i listened to this allll the time in 2020, but i ended up developing a new appreciation for its atmosphere this month like good god i’m in awe GLOOMY FOLK GLOOMY FOLK IT IS A WASTELAND IT IS IMMACULATE EEEEEE !!)