#for the weird guys and the people who love their cringefail existence. for people who hate being called tumblrinas but know it’s accurate

[laniidae-passerine]

the problem with Avenue 5 is that HBO was absolutely looking at the wrong demographic as the potential audience. bet you money they cancelled it because the 40-50 year old demographic wasn’t reacting to it like they did to Veep but that’s because Avenue 5 isn’t for them. it’s for the 18-30 year old demographic. because who else will see Hugh Laurie being the biggest lamest bisexual polyamorous weirdo fail guy in space and immediately want to see a billion episodes of him just eating metaphorical asphalt??? nobody. bring that loser and his crew of freaks and his insane wife and husband back to us!

[nomsfaultau]

dunmeshi and sbi!fault :DD

I did briefly consider writing a normal sbi crossover cause ohhh my God it would be good. Honestly Laios did bleed into my Techno in Worth far more than your weight in gold cause Techno also gets into that hyperfixation on creature details (although in a lot more 'to kill them better' way). They are ON that grindset. Although polar opposites on Techno 'eating the same potato recipie for 12 months' vs laios 'new dish every meal'. The Blade is such a lazy cook see: cooking headcanons. Laios would openly speculate on how his meat differs from actual pork. And Wilbur would start explaining the flavor profile/texture difference very accurately to everyone's fascination/horror. The Blade also straight up doesn't know Chilchuck is part of the party because he's so tiny he's like 100% in The Blade's blind spot. Like yeah he can smell and hear him but he just keeps forgetting Chilchuck exists. Also confused that the orphan meter isn't pinging but whatever. Marcille constantly bribes him to get access to his long luxurious mane. Senshi is cool with him bc he's familiar with orcs.

I think Senshi and Philza share one brain cell in that regard. Agressively taking care of everyone else. Cause you cannot tell me Philza hasn't seen so so so many people starve to death in famines...not so much worried about cannibalism. Also. Technically Philza isn't in the mental place for more adoption (read: he's mentally stable rn), but it would be soooo funny if he looked at Chilchuck and was like. Another child? Baby? But that's mostly because I love tormenting Chilchuck so very very much. Probably radiating disappointment the second he finds out Chilchuck is not really in his kids life that much currently due to the adventure. Appreciates Marcille's fireballs and black magic. Philza cannot distinguish between Izutsumi and 14 yo Wilbur that's just the same kid.

Wilbur ADORES all the food omg yes this is fantastic. And Marcille is cringing as it eats increasingly inedible dishes and sarcastically teasing her for not eating it. But Wilbur CANNOT handle Laios 'man I wish I was a monster' like he just can't he will punch Laios if he tries that. Him and Izutsumi have the nastiest kvetching sessions it's fantastic. Instant bonding over being distrusting brats that are desperate to be human. Cannot fathom the picky eater thing. Likes how paranoid Chilchuck is, although Chilchuck is convinced a mimic is going to pop out of its head at any time.

Tommy gets even worse dish duty than normal, but these crazy adventurers like. Are really amazed about his power? About how it can be used to sanitize stuff?? Like passionately going on about the health implications and Tommy is just staring at his hands as a wholesome anime monologue is happening in the background while he's having flashbacks to murder. [Marcille and Tommy would be most insufferable duo imaginable. I think they’d constantly butt heads given how bossy yet insecure both of them are. Tommy would eat mud in front of her and Marcille would have an aneurism. And he’d blow a fuse about her thinking he’s essentially a toddler by elf standards. however. Tommy would be extremely encouraging of her explosion magic to a degree that would cause structural damage to the dungeon.] Tries to show off and impress Izutsumi because GIRL!!1! And is very cringefail about it, she and Wilbur team up to bully him. He thinks Senshi is weird and groans about having two Philzas. Constantly riling Chilchuck up about his height.

Tubbo is like thank God normal people who aren't crazy murderers at first. And then decides they're all weirdos but not Problematic to the degree of Fault crew peoples. Thinks Marcille's magic is freaking awesome, and helps her control her meat dragon homunculous guys a lot better. Grand/kid talking with Chilchuck. uhhh ngl having trouble with Tubbo for some reason lol.

Also. On a very big note I think the world building re: monsters could lead to massive angst and tension between the groups. Especially with things like Laios crossing lines on 'humanoid monsters' as food. Like the entire group is constantly talking about eating monsters, and for the Fault crew that's very dehumanizing, racist, offensive, traumatizing, etc. Very high chance they end of fighting each other, however, the funny dynamic trumps all so that's what I went with.

[citrus-cactus]

CITRUS, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO TALK ABOUT YOUR POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOWS

DR. CRINGEFAIL: 2 4 14 21

SAD SCOTTISH MAN: 2 7 20 22

Enjoy!

BLESSINGS BE UPON YE, YOU KIND, HANDSOME, OBSERVANT STRANGER, YOU. MY CROPS ARE WATERED, MY FIELDS ARE THRIVING!!

Ask game here.

Under! The! Cut! Cuz! I’m! Embarrassed!

The one, the only, Noodle-In Chief:

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

It's not 100% clear to me, but it was definitely around the September timeframe of the novel (the first time I read it, in ‘22). I don't think it was OFFICIALLY too late for me until he met the Harkers at the end of September and Mina was like "Hey Jack. JACK. You keep your diary on all these wax cylinders, and they're not even LABELED?!" And Jack was like "...Um. Yeah, actually... that never even occurred to me." gOD, you IDIOT <3 (I may be paraphrasing). But it was this and several of his earlier blunders paired with his dogged determination to remain genre-blind and skeptical of everything that he was witnessing that ultimately endeared him to me. There Is Most Definitely Something Wrong With Him (derogatory) (affectionate).

He’s truly a problematic fave, but he’s my favorite character in the novel nonetheless!

4. How many people I ship them with

Um, the entire vampire-hunting polycule? THIS MAN DESERVES ALL THE KISSES where canonically he has none, and he deserved to be one of Lucy’s three husbands, fr fr :(

14. Best storyline they had

The incredibly tragic story, told in his own words, of how John “Jack” Seward, MD had to watch the woman he loved waste away and die of a mysterious ailment, interspersed with personal asides regarding how full of vigorous manhood all of his friends are, and how his former professor is so incredibly hot good at everything and spry for his age, but who also may be (in Jack's professional opinion) a touch crazy. Peak sopping wet noodle time, it’s amazing <3

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

September 30: "I got home at five o'clock, and found that Godalming and Morris had not only arrived, but had already studied the transcript of the various diaries and letters which Harker and his wonderful wife had made and arranged. Harker had not yet returned from his visit to the carriers' men, of whom Dr. Hennessey had written to me. Mrs. Harker gave us a cup of tea, and I can honestly say that, for the first time since I have lived in it, this old house seemed like home."

BUDDY!!!! T^T

"JUST SOME GUY(tm)”:

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

I mean, I’ve always liked him quite a bit (that voice, that tragic backstory, that Shakespearean flavor). But for whatever reason I didn't become obsessed until my rewatch last summer. CanNOT stop thinking about this man, the former king who has really just been a pawn his entire life; what he thinks, what he feels, how he's been going through the motions while searching for the one who betrayed him, yearning for a death that will not come for as long as he has. HE’S JUST SO SAD, YOU GUYS!!!!!

7. A quote of them that you remember

Every word that comes out of John Rhys-Davies’ mouth is SO GOOD, but the quote that sticks out the most is (of course) "KNOW her? I NAMED her." GODDDDDDD it's infinity good and I never get tired of hearing it, not even once (and since they use it in every relevant "Previously On," you hear it A LOT). It's ok though, because they 5000% knew what they were doing with that one.

Some other choice one-liners:

"I'm just… so... tired" is also top-tier delivery, and does a really great job of summarizing his entire existence since 1057.

"And I know how to read them" is such a sassy retort (and a GREAT callback to “Lighthouse in the Sea of Time”).

“For that matter… WHY ARE WE WORKING TOGETHER?” is sooooo *chef’s kiss.* Enjoy being a walking, talking meat puppet with your worstie for several more months, my guy!

20. A weird headcanon

Ummmmm soooooo I designed a gargoyle form for Mac as my headcanon for what he would've looked like in "The Mirror" (of course I did). My Watsonian explanation for why we didn't get to see him that night is he was way too busy getting drunk off his ass and crying over his long-dead wife (yet again) :C

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

990-some-odd years is a looooong time to find your lowest point. Even though moments like Gruoch’s marriage to Gillecomgain, his first “death”, the ending of “City of Stone,” and the middle of “Sanctuary” were pretty low moments for him, I’m quite sure his lowest point was never actually seen on the show (centuries-long depression isn’t exactly Disney Afternoon-friendly). The day(s) he found out about Luach and Gruoch’s deaths were obviously waaaaay up there. I imagine he had a really rough time of it during the Black Plague, so I’ll say his lowest point was somewhere in there :C :C :C

I do hope he was able to enjoy the Renaissance a little, tho. I’ll bet he commissioned a lot of art.

If you’ve read this far, THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY RAMBLING ABOUT THESE SAD, SAD FICTIONAL MEN!

[sydmarch]

evrart for the meme :3

First impression

so when i first started playing disco i was in a v weird mental state where i was easily put on edge by everything (looking back that might have not been a good idea objectively lmao.. but i had fun w it) & bcus of that his portrait was SOOOO freaky to me at first like, i didn't wanna look at it LOL. also i thought his voice was annoying as hell before i got used to it & now it's weirdly grown on me (altho i also think garte's stupid nasally voice is kinda hot so that's probably just me having cringefail taste <3) the "fuck this guy 😑" to "fuck this guy 😏" pipeline is real.

Impression now

(said in the cadence as when laszlo says "he’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy") now he is my meow meow boy my problematic fav my guy-who-sucks-but-its-ok-bcus-i-babygirlify-him. so he wants to force everyone out of the village w the construction noise & he and his brother had someone killed so they could take over the union, god forbid women do anything 🙄

Favorite moment

THIS

& i have to link this post bcus it sums it up better than i ever could

Idea for a story

ok so after being reminded that this interaction exists

i neeeeeed to write a fic where after this evrart calls garte to his office & is like "you're not going to give my special boy harry any more trouble are you?" and just puts him in his place. "a real piece of work" absolutely just translates to garte being a bratty sub i'm sorry but it's true.

Unpopular opinion

besides the whole i would suck him so silly thing i truly don't think he's as bad as some people make him out to be like yeah OBVIOUSLY he's done plenty of pretty bad shit & i'm not saying he hasn't but i don't think he's like, EVIL the way some people seem to & i don't think all of his motivations are as selfish as they appear on a surface level reading

Favorite relationship

EVRART/HARRY like everything that's going on between them is fucking insane. "But to me -- and the census bureau -- you will always be little Harry" "Of course you're not, Harry, You're my special boy!" i could keep searching fayde for more of these but it's rotting my brain. just fuck each other already for god's sake

Favorite headcanon

i forget who it was that made the post that was like evrart totally intends for elizabeth to be his successor & sees her in a fatherly way but i LOVE that idea. like yes obviously a motivation to pay to send her to law school is "it's useful to have a lawyer indebted to you" but i like to think it isn't JUST that & he has more depth than some people give him credit for.

[team7-headquarter]

hey, love your blog!!! just wanted to ask who your top 5 favourite naruto characters are right now? 🤭🤭

Thank for the love!!!!!

Since saying my favs are Team 7 feels kinda like cheating, I'll name my next favorite 5 characters so far, since I'm rereading the manga so I'm kinda forming new opinios, okay?

Oh. The order of the names mean nothing, btw. I'll just mention them as it goes.

DAN KATO: I know no one really cares about him because he was just a backstory love interest to Tsunade. Yet, for me he's full of potential. His trademark jutsu is dangerous... He's a ghost guy! How cool is that!!! And he genuinely loved Tsunade, accompanied her in her grief, stood by her side, inspired her and prioritized her over Konoha, at the end of the day. I can't stop making aus for him in my head... It's getting troublesome...

HAKU YUKI: At this point it is obvious that my favs aside from Team 7 are the ones that died waaaaay too soon and we couldn't quite enjoy as much as I wish we could. For me, Haku is one of the most important characters in the whole manga. His ghost haunts Naruto and all his actions and decisions. The Land of the Waves arc is my favorite and Haku is one of my favorite antagonists too. You can say Zabuza and Haku are the blueprint of the whole "talk no jutsu the antagonist until they self-sacrifice", which is not a small thing to say. Anyway, I love Haku!!!!!

TSUNADE SENJU: they gave us a woman president who is an alcoholic, uses her skills to substitute the non-existent plastic surgery, it's the most accomplished doctor of the whole world, has the strength to make any man crumble with a single punch, is totally obsessed with betting even when she's a classic cringefail... Just tell me, HOW can I not be obsessed? She's a war veteran, she's an older daughter, she's a princess, they blew to pieces her little brother, her lover died as she tried to heal him with her arms deep in his open wound, she basically adopts people and supports her and trains them to be their best versions, she was cut in half, she has an awful short temper, never fell in love with anyone else because she was faithful to her one and only love. I can keep going.

INO YAMANAKA: in truth I'm a total sucker for girl rivalries and friendships, but I also get so mad because Ino is so misunderstood!!!!!! Ino is the one member of the Konoha 12 that stood up against bullying when she was still just a child. She lost her father in the middle of a war and took up the leadership without complaining. She lost her sensei and had to watch him die because her while she applied her medical ninjutsu. She has an amazing trademark jutsu that captured even Obito for a while, she is cunning and bold and she's just unapologetically in her femininity. She will try to seduce her target, so what? She wants and wants loudly, she dreams big, she loves with all her heart. Ino is my special girl <3

SHISUI UCHIHA: This one is super recent, I'll have to admit. Like with Dan, it's completely based on the potential of the character. He had such a powerful sharingan and such an interesting personality. The manga barely mentions him, so there's plenty of room to play around with his characterization and the "what ifs". I also like his design a lot, it is like a male version of Kurenai! Also, it was either him or Obito on this list, because I've been thinking about Obito a lot. But yeah, I guess the funny Uchihas have my preference lol.

It's a weird list. Hm. Hope that's good enough for an answer...