#for the time being just know I was crying the entire duration of the episode

[fancygremlin]

Who’s the fire lit for?

In Part 45 we are introduced to Malam, a mysterious character who seems to enact justice for children who die unjustly.

He approaches Arthur, and seems surprised when he discovers that he is the one who lit the fire, as he expected a child to have done so.

I don’t think Malam’s expectations are completely unfounded, as it is not really present Arthur who lit the fire... but the child that went to the Boys' Brigade who did:

I think that Arthur unknowingly lit the fire both for Faroe and himself (or more correctly, his past child self). Malam was not called in by the fire to bring justice to just Faroe, but also to Arthur.

Arthur had been forced to metaphorically kill his child-self and his innocence and forced to grow up too quickly for his own good. His childhood had been cut short so suddenly and brutally by his parent’s death, a grief too big and complicated for a young child to understand and work through.

Even now, on the inside, Arthur is still that wounded and timid child. He is still carrying that pain with him. However, the hostility he had to live throughout his life only granted him more wounds and bruises. The soft, childlike and gentle parts of himself were hardened under layers and layers of scar tissue. Arthur had to learn pretty quickly that it was never safe enough for him to be kind and patient with himself. He was never given the time to process his traumas. No one taught him or showed him the love and care he so desperately needed and cried for so long for.

The hurt was drowned by more hurt and it was never tended to, never really cared for. But it never really disappeared or healed. It always stayed deep within him.

But now (finally), for the first time, Arthur’s most devastating traumas (the loss of his daughter, and the loss of his own innocence) have been recognised.

His childhood cry has been finally answered.

The kid Arthur was can finally rest now that Malam stopped by his fire.

[stellarsturniolos]

━━ ⟢‘MEANT TO BE’ ╰  MATTHEW STURNIOLO.

pairing: matt sturniolo x plus-sized!reader

content warning: mentions of insecurity & comparison, brief mention of bullying, reader struggles with body image, cursing.

A/N: reblogs and likes are appreciated! i do NOT give consent for my work to be copied or uploaded to any other platform. thank you. this is my first time posting my writing in years, so please be kind. ily.

falling in love with your childhood best friend, matthew bernard sturniolo, was not something you saw coming. although you probably should’ve seen it coming.

you grew up with matt, nick and chris and you’ve always been incredibly close with all three of them — but matt was always special. the two of you had a very unique bond from the moment you met. being around matt was an instant serotonin boost for you, every time you saw him. 

matt was always your overzealous protector — he was always around to make you feel safe, whether it be from something as small as a bumble bee or from something more severe like the assholes who bullied you in high school.

he never failed to make you feel beautiful. every time you saw him, even if it was just on facetime, he complimented you. any time you felt insecure about your body, he was there to comfort you and let you know that he thought you were perfect as you were. 

you always just assumed he did all of those things because he was a very good best friend. even when he would intertwine his fingers with your own, or hold you in his arms a little too tight when you’d hug him goodbye, and you’d feel the fluttery sensation of butterflies in your stomach, you never thought you were in love with him.

you finally came to terms with your true feelings for matt when he went on a date with a flawless instagram model who slid into his dms because she was a fan of the triplets youtube channel. 

you tried to be happy for him. you really did. but the jealousy nearly ate you alive.

for the entire duration of his date, you tried your best to distract yourself — you tried to read your favorite chapters of your favorite book, and you even turned on your most beloved episode of your favorite tv show, but nothing kept your attention. 

you found yourself looking at every photo the model he was on a date with had ever posted on instagram. and comparing yourself to her. she’s tiny, you’re heavy. she has clear skin, you don’t. she’s beautiful, you’re not. 

the insecurity was tearing you apart, slowly but surely. 

you felt sad because you wanted matt to want you. but he was on a date with a hot model who had millions of followers and a perfect body.

and you?

you didn’t look nearly as pretty as she did. not to mention you were just an average college student. you weren’t famous, you didn’t have an abundance of cash lying around, you didn’t understand what it was like to be an influencer. not the way she did. 

what did you have to offer matt? absolutely nothing. but that didn’t stop you from wanting him. 

you felt tears blur your vision and you quickly blinked them away. you didn’t want to cry. 

when you heard a knock on your apartment door, you were pulled out of the hateful thoughts you were thinking about yourself. it was nearly dark outside and you weren’t expecting company, but as they say, curiosity killed the cat. so you opened the door.

you were both surprised and pleased to see matt on the other side of the door.

“oh. hi, matty.” your smile was faint. “not that i’m unhappy to see you, but.. aren’t you supposed to be on a date right now?” 

“i was on a date. but i left.” he said, pushing past you and walking into your apartment. he started pacing and let out a deep sigh. “i left because i don’t want to date her. i.. i wanna date someone else.” 

you felt your heart fall into your ass and you almost forget to respond. of course he’s in love with someone. that’s just your luck. “oh, um.. okay. am i allowed to ask who the lucky girl is?” 

he just stared at you for a long moment — his big, wide, beautiful blue eyes almost stared a hole through your soul.

he moved closer to you and laced his fingers with yours, which wasn’t unusual. you two held hands all the time. but your heart still skipped a beat. 

“i need to tell you something,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “but i need to make something clear first. if you don’t feel the way i feel, i’ll understand, okay? you’re always gonna be my best friend. if friendship is all you wanna give me — that’s enough. you’re always enough. but, um.. i just need you to know that i, uh..” he laughed softly, a nervous chuckle, but continued to hold eye contact with you. almost like he was afraid you’d disappear if he looked away. “this is harder than i thought. holy shit. i just.. want you to know that.. i’m really fucking in love with you. and that’s why i left my date tonight.” 

your mind shut off. your brain felt fucking paralyzed. your entire body was frozen. your mouth moved, but no words would come out.

you felt his hand shaking as he held onto you for dear life. “can you, um, say something? please?” 

the vulnerability in his tone made your brain flip a switch and fucking start working again. “matty.” you breathed out his name, then in a soft voice, you asked. “do you really mean it?” 

instead of responding, he pulled you even closer and then suddenly his lips were touching yours. matthew sturniolo’s lips were touching yours. it was soft, almost hesitant, but it was the most perfect kiss you’d ever experienced. 

he pulled back, but he stayed close. so, so close. too close but not close enough at the same time. “i’ve never said anything more fucking true in my life. i love you.” 

with teary eyes and a bright smile, you said. “fuck. i love you so goddamn much, matt sturniolo.” 

the way he smiled at you in that moment lit up his entire face. and your heart. 

he reached up with both hands, grabbed your face and pulled you in for another kiss. this one more heated than the last. 

[amuseoffyre]

The more I write of my OFMD speculative S3 fic, the more I realise how much the writers were constrained for writing S2, by budget and executive interference about content and the limited time given by 8 episodes with reduced duration caps - I hadn't realised how much shorter some of the S2 episodes were than S1.

It makes me spit tacks thinking how much they could have done with the full 10 episodes, how so much of the stuff that felt rushed or pruned down or even fully cut was because too many CEOs spoiling the broth and forcing them to speedrun (and censor) so much.

We know they had:

a reunion scene with Jim and Olu - Samba mentioned it in WJW. Roach bringing them the soup and Olu crying on Jim's shoulder.

scenes setting up Zheng and Olu in the Republic from the press stills so it wasn't just hacked and slashed down to "you're the break in my day"

Wee John had more scenes with a through-line through multiple episodes about being tired of just being the Big Guy/muscle.

the entire planned polycule during episode 6 that was fully vetoed to the point that the cast and writers had to resort to slipping in coded references ("we've shared before" / "he's my anchor")

episode 6 originally meant to be a wedding episode where Ed actually pays for Lucius and Pete's wedding which again, vetoed, and we were only given a 2 minute ceremony tacked on the end - the fact that "Calypso's birthday" is literally "something you just made up as an excuse for a party" because they had to rewrite the episode

Ed and Stede actually spending episode 6 with them both not dealing well with "going slow" but it also being vetoed because Heaven forfend showing positive sexual desire between gay characters. But sure, lets show them being tortured instead. Max likes that.

Related to this is the 24 sexathon. Originally, it was meant to be Jim/Olu/Archie but it was shifted over to Lucius and Pete. Look at S1 when we had naked Olu and Jim snuggled post-coitus and Lucius drawing dick-pics and flirting shamelessly, 'we don't belong to each other'.

By comparison, S2 was pared back to a handful of kisses, one fade to black and a 60-second wedding. Nothing says sterilising the queer sex experience like having two people standing two feet apart, fully-dressed and not touching while saying "Oh yeah we had so much sex" 😤 THEY COULD HAVE BEEN CUDDLING IN BED. WE DESERVED CUDDLES. THIS GOES FOR EVERYONE.

But no. You may only have [this] much open queer affection in this show and then we shall destroy it because we never wanted to give you S2 in the first place.

[strqyr]

i've been debating for a while now whether to write this or not. it's a bit... a lot more personal than i'm used to, but with V9: Beyond being nearer and nearer, i'm finding myself to be lacking the spark and excitement for new RWBY content that i'm used to have. for that reason, i've been doing some thinking, trying to nail down where the difference lies, and i think i finally figured it out:

the ending of V9, specifically how they handled ruby's arc.

[tw: suicide, if you decide to continue reading]

before i get any further, i want to lay down some "backstory": about two weeks before V9 started airing, i lost my beloved dog to an illness after fighting for her life for two weeks. those two weeks were a roller coaster straight out of hell, thinking the medicine given were working, only for things to get worse; and through it all, all i could think of was that if she didn't make it through the year, neither would i.

but then, afterwards, in some weird twist of fate, when every part of me wanted to stay in bed and never get up, it was her, my dog, that kept me going, simply because through the last couple of years of her life, she had slept the mornings in my bed, with me, with 1pm being the time she'd force me out of bed if i ever stayed in that late... and that following morning—or more like day lol—after her death, i happened to look at my phone, see the clock be around 1pm, knowing i had a choice to make.

and i got up. have every single day, way before 1pm, to keep part of her alive and with me.

so, perhaps needless to say, but ruby's arc in V9 hit close. i had enough time in-between to not be in middle of the worst of it, but i suppose not as enough as i thought, as not only did i lose some of the spark i had for this show, but i'm also still crying now while writing this.

for the duration of the show, the burden on ruby had been growing stronger and stronger. from being called special due to her silver eyes, to all her friends placing their trust in her leadership, believing that somehow, she always knew what the right thing to do was, to never quite feeling she could be open about her own doubts as a leader, having no one to talk to... V9 started out great. i was excited, for the first time in a long while, for the direction they were taking ruby in.

and everything seemed to be going great. all the issues, trauma, et al that ruby was holding in were slowly seeping over, until it all burst open, explosively, and she ran away; and with all of this and more thrown against her by neo, ruby drank the tea, not wanting to be herself anymore.

...then came the aftermath of her ascension, and it's here, where the writers lost me.

"you're broken! you break everything you touch! i call humans... weak! confused! incomplete!" the cat says, and it's hard to say they're entirely wrong; ruby has been broken, she has had her weak moments, she has been confused, and that's okay.

but her teammates, her friends, her sister, don't seem to think so.

the cat is wrong. ruby has never been any of those things, and that's exactly why they follow her.

like it was more important to prove the antagonist of the volume wrong, rather than offer genuine support to ruby by saying that it is okay to be broken and confused, and for her to have her weak moments because that's why they're there; to support her in good and bad. to make it clear to ruby that she can come to them and air her doubts and concerns without a fear of being shutdown, that they, too, will work on themselves to be better friends in that regard.

but that's not what happened, and even without properly registering it at the time, it felt like a punch to the gut.

during the roundtable discussion of this episode, the writers talked about ruby's arc being about impostor syndrome and i just... can't see it. not with the way they build it up. it's like a switch was flicked, and when before the problem was the burden that was solely placed on ruby's shoulder and how it was too much for her to handle on her own, now ruby ever doubting herself in the first place was the problem, and all she needed to hear was that she was perfect just the way she was; "retrospective" is not a known word here.

and for the first time, even if i do have some critiques over handling of certain storylines, i felt like what was delivered was not what was ordered. at all. and with the vague content warnings in front of episodes, it started to feel like suicide was used for the "shock value" it could provide, to get people talking on social media, rather than because the writers wanted to treat it with the seriousness it deserves.

maybe that's unfair to say; i certainly don't know their intentions. frankly i don't know the people who work on this show at all, and i've stayed far from forming any parasocial relationships to pretend otherwise. all i have is my own feelings about this, ones that i've gone over multiple times, going through episodes, seeing if there's something that i've missed that would make it make sense... i've done my due diligence, and this is the result.

this is not the end: i still love RWBY, the characters, the world and its lore... but some of the trust i had for the writers has definitely gone, as has of the spark that ensured the excitement i had for new episodes and content to the point that i'd be right here, on my seat, ready the moment a new episode dropped.

now if the birbs show up—

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S2E1

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! We’re on the first half of season 2 for Helluva Boss, and the episodes have gotten longer this season, so I think I’m going to try just taking it an episode at a time like I did with Hazbin Hotel; them being longer means more stuff to chew on, after all!

Let’s do this, s2e1:

BABY STOLAS! BABY BLITZO AND BABY FIZZ! BABIES!!!

Thanks to Game Grumps, I know who Sam and Max are now, so the fact that Stolas has a little imp plush that looks like Max makes me giggle because I get that reference.

Alright moment to shout out the quality of the animation going up pretty drastically; it was already pretty dang good so the fact that it’s even BETTER makes me happy. Shoutout too to the butler; he’s very good at his job.

Paimon’s entire existence has…interesting implications. For a start, he doesn’t even have a solid form; I’m only convinced he looks like a bird because he’s spending time with one of his bird sons. And the fact that he has enough kids that he doesn’t KNOW which kid he’s interacting with until reminded…raises questions. Like. What’s Paimon’s rank? How many spouses does he have, to churn out so many kids he can’t keep them straight (or won’t keep them straight, more like)? What responsibilities does he have to the Goetia family? How long has he been a Goetia babymaker, apparently? Where’s Stolas’ mother? Or…additional parent? (I’m not entirely unconvinced that Paimon isn’t just spawning them from his own essence independently tbh, his form is malleable and takes on many different animal aspects.) How many siblings does Stolas have? Do all Goetia get purposes, or just high-ranking ones (because lord knows it seems like Stella and Andrealphus don’t have anything better to do than scheme for more power)? Does Stolas have Goetia siblings that aren’t birds, since Paimon himself isn’t truly a bird? QUESTIONS. I HAVE THEM. Okay, Paimon specifically says “which SON is this?” so…uh…does he even count his daughters? Does he HAVE daughters? (And children that are neither?) Is the Goetia family patriarchal and sexist?? Is that why Stella is the way she is? DAMN YOU VIV AND BRANDON PUT MORE GENDER DIVERSITY IN THE MAIN CAST. Anyway. Ahem.

Stolas is so excited, look at him. Look at his widdle face. Look at his big excited eyes. NOW LOOK AT HOW CRUSHED HE IS TO FIND OUT THE SECOND HALF OF THE DEAL. One: proof Stella was always like that, and Two: what do you want to bet the portrait was taken/painted after she was told about her engagement as well? Also I question the choice of sending along a picture of a kid strangling cute animals but this is a comedy show, I guess. Oof. Y’know what’s not a comedy? How Stolas does stop crying fairly quickly, but remains visibly miserable for nearly the entire duration of the circus.

I wonder who had the idea of assaulting the crowd with clowns first, Mammon or Cash.

BLITZO AND FIZZ BLITZO AND FIZZ BLITZO AND FIIIIIIIZZ. BABIES. SWEET BABIES.

Alright, pretty sure THIS was when it finally occurred to me what must have happened to make Fizz all white instead of red: seeing him as a kid without any white on him at all. Still didn’t know what happened, exactly, but it’s really chilling when that realization finally happens, that the white is scar tissue (and such extensive scarring, too). Also who voiced all these kids, they’re amazing and adorable.

Listen. LISTEN. Turning Stolitz into a version of childhood friends to lovers is the number one way to make me love them even more. Do you know how INSANE I am for childhood pining?? The answer is very. And I love that Stolas notices BLITZO. Even at this tender age, Blitzo is different, especially from Fizzarolli; Fizz is dressed better, looks the part better, can do the tricks, has the upper hand. But Blitzo is fearless and he’s creative and Stolas is just the right kind of sheltered and twisted to be into Blitzo’s kinda violent sense of humor. The ways that they are PERFECT for each other KILL ME.

Also the way that Fizzarolli swoops in to save the show and says “Hey everybody!” just like he does at Ozzie’s. Hhhhhhhhhhhh. (Also how did I never notice before that his horn stripes are mismatched just like his jester hats later)

I notice that Paimon doesn’t specify that he’s purchasing Blitzo for the day. There very much is no timetable discussed here. And the fact that Cash just DOES IT, would have sold Fizz for more but knows parting with Blitzo for chump change will pay out just as much in the end. Fucker. Then that asshole has the gall to ban Blitzo from seeing Fizz in the hospital later??? ARGH. Is this man still alive? Can we see someone punching his lights out just once?

Also, Cash’s voice. Can we talk about that? Who did that?? Why???

Listen these two asshat dads just did a bad, but also…was there really a need to vaporize half a tent to teleport out of there, Paimon?

I’ve said it already but let me say it again: whoever voiced the kids did PERFECT. Fizzarolli’s cute little giggles and Blitzo’s absolutely unhinged energy and Stolas’ little bitty hoity-toity accent. Aaaaaugh. Shows usually don’t give us this, it’s such a blessing. (Also why didn’t we get Barb tho)

(Maybe a continuity error, but the fact that Blitzo uses ketchup to represent blood instead of something darker…y’know…kinda unusual, for a Hellborn imp. But whatever, it’s adorable and I’m enjoying myself.)

I also love that Blitzo’s first reaction to being told he’s spending the day with a prince is “ew.” I hate that his first reaction to being told to steal is “what if I get caught” because that means this isn’t the first time Cash has made him do something like this. And if he’s worried about getting caught, that means it either almost happened or did happen in the past. Let Someone Punch Cash Buckzo 2k25. Surprisingly, though, for a shitty dad, the fact that Cash uses coercion and puppydog eyes to get his way with Blitzo instead of violence is actually refreshing. Though. Blitzo is already fully aware that his dad is a piece of shit, so helping him out…eh. Helping Mama, though? Yeah, that’s the correct button to push. I hope we actually get to meet an accurate version of her in Ghostfuckers and not a screwy nightmare version, because the way Blitzo in the future falls to pieces at her picture and the way even baby Blitzo wants to do everything to help her out means she meant a lot to him. And Blitzo doesn’t seem to trust or care easily even as a little kid.

STOLAS BOWS TO BLITZO EVEN WAY BACK WHEN. This information will never not destroy me, given how often Stolas does it to Blitzo in the present. Especially since Paimon immediately punishes him for it. And he still does it. Though, also interesting: Blitzo can see Paimon moving for Stolas before Stolas can, so Blitzo’s focus shifts there; his expression when Stolas gets hit is pretty shocked, too, an expression he only gets when the situation gets really dire for him. Hmm.

“I’m so good at daddying!” GO FUCK YOURSELF. Let Someone Punch Paimon Goetia 2k25.

Because Stolas is a kid who apologizes to his dad when his dad hits him, and he apologizes to Blitzo when Blitzo calls all of his books boring, he’s so sweet and so lonely someone help him.

Blitzo is already quite the little conman, though. That saddens me but also it’s nice to watch his budding strategic brain at work already.

Okay, here we go: “Is this an imp game?” That’s a fairly innocent question, especially from a kid, but it’s also a question that’s already loaded with class distinction. He might as well have asked “is this a commoner game,” because the tenor is the same. Stolas as a child gets a pass from me for his classism, because he literally does not know any better; even his imp butler constantly scolds him for behavior that is unbecoming for a Goetia. This isolation doesn’t improve even after meeting Blitzo again as adults, but I’ll talk more about that later, because there’s another layer to Stolas’ bigotry to examine and right now I’m in cute happy kid land.

Nooooo twinkly heartbreaking pretty tune, why are you heeeere, you make this sweet moment so much more bittersweet with your presence. Also if we get a reprise of this chandelier scene I might actually pass away.

Blitzo climbing a tree while Stolas reads a book. They’re so perfect. Y’know??

Alright, this little scene by the tree here: very packed with meaning, and foreshadowing too, I’d wager. I do notice that we don’t go much into Stolas’ duties with the grimoire as an adult (it would be cool AF to get into prophecy work one of these episodes), but the fact that Blitzo remembers all of this enough to plan a heist for it twenty-five years later is impressive (especially given what he goes through just ten short years later) (…wait a second…does that throw a wrench in my math…? Later, finish this tangent first). Stolas is excited, but unsure; it’s what he’s supposed to do, but there’s already something inside of him that feels discordant with that (with that, or with his impending marriage? Maybe both, since the two are likely intertwined given that they were introduced to him at the same time).

Blitzo, on the other hand, is gonna run his own circus (after a fashion lol) and be the most famous imp ever (YEAH I’M PRETTY SURE HE WILL BE ACTUALLY, he’s already making a name for himself and has interacted with one Deadly Sin so far, soon to be a second and a third later this season half. Plus there’s my ever-looming “IMP and Stolas Get in Legal Trouble” theory) and have an office (you go bb). The hiring of Stolas just feels like the next logical step, especially now that we have a pretty good indication that Stolas is about to be possibly stripped of his title and powers (if that’s what the trial/gathering in Pride and the altercation with Andrealphus means, anyway).

Happy childhood laughter…TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER.

(Alright, doing my math now: so Blitzo and Fizz haven’t seen each other in fifteen years. Presumably, I’ve been working under the assumption that they haven’t seen each other since the accident, and that the two of them and Stolas are the same age. But. There’s some…inconsistencies, if that’s true. I don’t think we get a number for what age Fizzarolli is turning on the explosive birthday, but he looks young; I think Blitzo still has his braces (which hurts me in a way I don’t know that I can articulate; that just feels so young and vulnerable still, for Blitzo to not only lose his mom but be blamed and also blame himself for losing his mom, blowing up his best friend, and burning down the circus). If we assume they’re ten on Stolas’ birthday, then twenty-five years later, they’re thirty-five. Fifteen years before that is twenty. That’s too old, or feels too old, anyway. Octavia was two years old the last time Blitzo and Fizz saw each other, since she’s seventeen; Stolas already being a father while Blitzo is in braces and the two of them being the same age feels like a stretch (though it COULD happen; adult braces are a thing). So either Stolas is older than the other two by at least a couple of years, or Blitzo and Fizz saw each other sometime after the accident. Which is possible, and certainly makes more sense as to why Fizz didn’t have some sort of trauma-induced explosion at Blitzo at Ozzie’s if that was the first time they’d seen each other since the accident. The math on this is all screwy; does anybody have a better resource on this?? Fizz and Blitzo being younger than Stolas would make sense…in fact, it’s the only thing that makes sense if the accident happened fifteen years ago. In order for Stolas to be 18 when Octavia is born, he has to be ten at this birthday at minimum. For Fizzarolli and Blitzo to still be teenagers ten years later, if we assume the accident was the last time they saw each other, they have to be 6-8 years old at most. And an eight-year-old and a ten-year-old can get along much better than a ten-year-old and a six-year-old (I work childcare, I know these things). So Stolas can be 35 while Blitzo and Fizz are 33. Wow. So many of my assumptions challenged by math. What a fun exercise these posts are.)

ANYWAY HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE, one episode per post is looking more and more likely.

The differences in Stolas waking up as an adult versus a child are so stark. He groans instead of cheering, he drags himself around instead of bouncing. His hair just sort of falls into place after a brief tousle. And the Happy Pills, the most damning evidence of all. Because, uh. People who are happy with their lives don’t take antidepressants (or, rather, people who are happy with their lives don’t START taking antidepressants; people can be happy with their lives once stabilized on antidepressants). That is stupidly obvious but also, incredibly sad. And as I know I’ve mentioned before, to be a young immortal already on antidepressants because his life is so unfulfilling and miserable is upsetting.

I do wonder at how this episode would have gone if Stolas had seen Blitzo at the window at that point, though. Probably not much different.

Here’s another sad thing: Via looks so content in her sleep when Stolas checks on her before going to face Stella. I really, really hope we get an unfiltered look at Via and Stella’s relationship without Stolas, because Via’s reaction to their separation is not one of a kid who was fully aware of how unhappy her parents were together (how she wasn’t, I have no idea, because Stella doesn’t exactly hide her disdain in any way, shape, or form). Via does it without screaming but she does also blame Stolas for breaking their family, and does it the entire time we the audience know her. And in the s2.5 trailer, Via still blames Stolas for it, saying “You never loved Mother.” The fact that THAT is such a sticking point for her makes me think Stolas (and maybe Stella but I doubt it) was successful in creating a fantasy for Via where her parents were content enough, maybe even happy (at the very least, they didn’t hate each other, which was enough for Via even if she was already aware that they didn’t love each other).

We don’t know how Stella talks to Via. We don’t know how Stella talks about STOLAS to Via. We know how she talks about Stolas to her friends, to equals, but we have yet to see how Stella and Via treat each other at all, even in the new normal of screaming and throwing things. Via clearly doesn’t like that Stolas screams at her mother, even if it’s framed in the context of what Via really doesn’t like being Stolas forgetting about Via in favor of fighting with Stella or flirting with Blitzo. It is pretty damn well implied that Via thinks Stolas deserves to be screamed at and have his stuff thrown around for sleeping with someone else. “Maybe [I liked Loo Loo Land] back when my parents didn’t hate each other. And my dad didn’t flirt with some weird red dickhead all the time. I just want to go home. But home doesn’t even feel like home anymore. You ruined it.” “He’d rather spend his time just screaming at my mum.” “You never loved Mother, you don’t love me, you love HIM.” If anyone in this damn marriage is going to be accused of turning Via against one or the other, it had better be Stella turning her against Stolas, because the foundation work is already there (and the fucking messy part is that it’s partially Stolas’ own fault; he wanted to play happy families because it’s what was expected, and when he reached his breaking point, he had an affair and then flaunted that affair without talking about any of the other messy parts of himself that made it unbearable to exist in their previous life anymore. Via’s world is burning down around her, and Fuck You Dad for that).

(Disclaimer that I don’t think Stolas exactly deserves BLAME for it, because it’s an impossible and deeply unhappy situation created by others’ expectations being forced onto him, but we’re talking about Via’s point of view and she very explicitly blames her father for how miserable and tumultuous her home life is now, and she isn’t entirely wrong, even if she doesn’t have the whole picture. Hell, WE don’t have the whole picture; we don’t know if Stella going to strike Stolas is a recurring offense, or if this was the first time, but the casual way she goes about it and how surprised she was that Stolas caught her arm does make me think it happened before. And Via has NO IDEA about that if it happened, I’d bet money on it. For fuck’s sake, Stella SCREAMINGLY plans Stolas’ ASSASSINATION at the goddamned DINNER TABLE with Via RIGHT FUCKING THERE and Via has NO IDEA. Here’s something I want to see: Via getting the unvarnished truth about what her parents’ marriage was like, every messy detail, INCLUDING that her mother tried to kill her father TWICE now. Does he deserve that much, Via? Because I don’t think you think he does, even if you’re having a hard time accepting that the home life you knew was a lie. Heck. The home life she knew was a lie. No wonder she’s so messed up.)

ANYWAY.

Ugh seeing Stolas TRY to be friendly to Stella only to have his presence dismissed is just. AAAAUGH. How does Via not see this?? Stella isn’t exactly subtle! Though I suppose Via can be aware that her mother is a raging bitchface bitch while also harboring resentment towards her father for disrupting their equilibrium. Loona was right when she said it’s not as simple as that and this shit gets messy. It likely wouldn’t be this messy if Via didn’t love her mother, though. Which means there’s likely something there TO love, or at least care about. That’s a delicate path to tread, because children are conditioned to care about their parents even when those parents aren’t worth caring about, and we just don’t know what Via and Stella’s relationship is like enough to guess at how deeply Via is hurt on her mother’s behalf, and how much she knows about how her mother feels about her father. It feels incomprehensible that Via wouldn’t know, but keep in mind that we see Stella through Stolas’ eyes, not Via’s; to Stolas, she is unequivocally cruel and insulting and she hasn’t made any moves to hide it from him. Has she made moves to hide it from Via, though? We DON’T KNOW. Via isn’t at the “Not Divorced” party. She isn’t listening to her mother loudly and publicly trash Stolas in every way possible. It could very well be that in front of Via, Stella is better-behaved, and so Stella’s shows of rage post-affair are justified to Via. I’ve gone on this tangent for way too long but I’m just so enraged by it right now, and hoping that Via and Stella both get their screentime dues in s2.5 (or if not both, then definitely Via, because she matters more lol).

Good grief, though, back to the main event, which is Stolas meeting Blitzo for the first time in two and a half decades and that fantasy romantic streak coming in hard and heavy. “I will handle him accordingly” with the blush and the eyebrows EXCUSE YOU SIR.

The captions for Blitzo’s reaction to Stolas declaring “you were here to ravish me, weren’t you” is “Ew.” Which is hysterical, given that’s exactly what he said when he was a kid and forced to hang out with him, and incredibly sad because nobody wanting Stolas is the THEME OF HIS FUCKING LIFE. But Blitzo is a consummate performer and conman (he learned from the best, or at least the good enough); going along with Stolas’ ravishment fantasy is the easiest way to get what he wants, so he’ll do it. Blitzo, I will posit with my whole chest, doesn’t give two shits about Stolas very nearly this entire scene. He’s willing to work the connection, to lay it on thick, but he isn’t emotionally invested one jot until Stolas brings up how much it means to him that they’re friends. THAT, Blitzo can’t ignore, not at this point in his life, when he’s trashed just about every relationship he’s ever had. Having someone who looks at him like he hung the moon probably isn’t something even he can fully resist, especially not when he needs something from them and maybe it’ll go more smoothly after the fact if he rails Stolas into the mattress and leaves him with a positive impression even as Blitzo steals from him and illegally uses his grimoire to commit murder.

But there’s also a moment where things sort of clunk into place here—not a good place, but the place where their relationship starts that for me explains why Stolas thinks constantly calling Blitzo little and his plaything is cute, maybe even something Blitzo wants him to do (and heck, he might, in the bedroom, but we aren’t allowed in there to find out; however, context clues would imply that even in the bedroom, Blitzo probably doesn’t like being condescended to)—and that’s when Stolas thinks Blitzo wants him to be a loud, chatty, submissive bottom. Blitzo doesn’t exactly do anything to disabuse him of this notion, just sort of tolerates everything Stolas spits up at him, and with how sheltered and also up in his own ass Stolas is, I still genuinely don’t think he understands on a basic fundamental level that anything he says is a problem. How can he, when the guy he’s been demeaning won’t tell him that he’s being demeaned and literally no one else in his life could possibly offer him that context? (I will admit that if Stolas tried looking past his upbringing and seeing the world around him, he’d pick it up real quick, but that’s the thing, Stolas isn’t there yet. He hasn’t been broken down that far yet. I think he will be, though.)

Alright, stopping my own blathering enough to actually watch this scene, and can I say how impressive it is that Blitzo remembers the little eyes up top when he’s blindfolding Stolas? Mainly because I forget them constantly? Also tying Stolas up in the first place is hysterical, but I guess Blitzo doesn’t actually need to restrain him, just distract him for long enough for him to get out of there. Right before his own feels get hooked into this and he commits to “real fast.” Which is his downfall, really, but also the start of one of the most important and fulfilling relationships of his adult life. Also the most tempestuous and aggravating and dangerous. Blitzo doesn’t show his emotions, not anymore; they’re too dangerous for himself and others. But. There’s that selfie of himself and Stolas, quite possibly taken on this very night, where he looks so content, even happy, snuggled up to Stolas. Keep that in mind, because as we all know, a picture Blitzo takes while Stolas is asleep is just one piece of the puzzle.

The rest of the pieces are incoming, with Stolas’ own camera roll.

…sidenote, do y’all think Stella’s had affairs? Possibly a kinky threesome with the two friends she’s constantly talking to?

Aaaaand, here we are, fresh out of Ozzie’s, with Stolas still in his fancy suit and hungover from absinthe (which is a very strong alcohol, for those who aren’t aware; there’s a reason the serving imps brought it out with a tiny glass. Goetia resilience on display there). And his theme song is about to get words, oh nooooooo. Stolas goes through his third morning routine, doesn’t even fix himself up, just downs more Happy Pills than seem to be his recommended dose, then starts scrolling through his camera roll. In every picture of Blitzo, he looks bored at best, annoyed at worst. And this is the moment, the breaking point—the fantasy has finally fallen away. Stolas might be in love, but they aren’t together. This isn’t a relationship. It’s a comfortable lie, something unbalanced and slowly killing them both just as surely as Stolas’ marriage was killing him.

And that’s why it’s so significant to me to look at the timeline here; it’s easy to forget that these events are happening so quickly, what with the lengthy release schedule, but this is the morning after Ozzie’s, and now Stolas is looking into Asmodean Crystals, looking to give Blitzo an out, because he understands now—or, at least, he understands better than he did before. He noticed the grimoire missing right before Blitzo bit him all that time ago on their first night together; he certainly noticed it missing afterwards. He let Blitzo keep it, maybe had one or two conversations about it, and then the series practically opens up with Stolas proposing they start sleeping together so they can both get the grimoire and sexual gratification from each other. Maybe because Stolas was fluttery and happy about finally being with his first-ever crush and friend, he thought it was the only way he could keep Blitzo close (because why would Blitzo stay with him otherwise if Stolas didn’t have anything more to offer than himself?). Blitzo agrees for his business, but he didn’t have to even start—didn’t even have to agree to the deal, either, could have asked Stolas if they could talk about it later because he was in the middle of getting shot and kept putting him off. Blitzo doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do (or so he projects). Stolas has had an entire life of doing what he didn’t want to do.

Only now here they are, in a tangled web of their own joint making that’s going to break some things before they can set it straight. But Stolas taking the first steps to even out the score? HUGE. Significant, because he’s the one with the most power, literally and figuratively. Stolas didn’t have to do this. He could have kept Blitzo on a leash if he wanted to. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t WANT that kind of relationship with Blitzo. He doesn’t just desire Blitzo, he loves him, wants what’s best for him and wants Blitzo to have what Blitzo wants as well as needs. Stolas wouldn’t have given him so many outs from their full moon rendezvous if he didn’t care about Blitzo having a choice. This is just the next logical step to Stolas escaping his own fantasies and coming into the real world.

(I have a feeling Stolas Sings here has some thematic elements tying it to Just Look My Way, but I refuse to watch that music video more than the two or three times I did when I first discovered it back in February; I want it to punch me in the mouth in its full context, so I’ll just take mental note of what I’m seeing in this particular musical number so I can make the comparison later.)

“It’s annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time” says the woman incapable of lowering her voice when talking about how boring and stuffy her husband is and mocking him to everyone she knows.

Unreliable narrators are a fact of life; we’re all unreliable narrators in our own ways. But when Stolas says he tried so many years to make it comfortable for both of them to have this family, for Octavia to grow up with a normal life, there’s evidence to back him up, to show that he isn’t just talking out his ass. Stolas waking up to Via’s crying and informing Stella of it, only for Stella to push it off onto him. Stolas attempting to greet his wife in the morning as he gets himself coffee, only for her to turn her back to him and ignore him and keep trash-talking him on the phone. Via’s simmering anger at the turn her life has taken now that her parents are actively hostile towards each other and not just barely tolerating each other for her sake. And Stolas says he didn’t hurt Stella, which is sort of true; he didn’t betray her trust. What he did was hurt her reputation, make her a laughingstock and a figure of pity. Stolas Goetia’s beautiful wife, so pretty but apparently not enough for her aberrant husband, who fucked an imp of all creatures. We never see anybody else judging Stella for it (or, like, talking about it at all?), but the way she acts, you’d think she’d been shunned from every noble tea party in the entire Pride ring and had her shoes spit on. Image is everything for her, but her reaction is certainly winning her no favors, either (and even her ass of a brother knows it).

Fascinating, too, at how Stolas’ firmness implies that Stella’s been dragging her feet at the divorce when it’s been months since Stolas first slept with Blitzo right after their “not divorced” party. Not out of any desire to make the marriage work, but just to torture Stolas. Just to hold that over his head. Bitch.

Alright, the body language here really does imply that Stella’s hit him before. I was already comfortable living with that assertion, but studying the animation now…yeah, absolutely not the first time she’s gotten in his face, raised her hand to him, threatened him with what the rest of the Goetia family will think and ESPECIALLY her brother (whom I’m willing to bet Stolas only tolerated because he was trying to appease Stella). And Stella might actually be stupid, might actually not care enough to regulate her reactions and behaviors towards Stolas in front of Octavia, but I don’t think she’s dumb enough to hit him in front of her. …not yet, anyway. Rile her up enough and she might. But again, we don’t know what Stella and Via’s relationship is like. But we DO know what Octavia and Stolas’ relationship is like, and I doubt Via would let it go if her dad was seriously hurt. (Which makes me really wonder if Stolas ever told Via he was in the hospital. I can see him hiding it from her to try and keep the peace.)

Stella’s choice of words here is interesting, too. “Traitorous embarrassment.” Is she just referring to the fact that he cheated…or that he cheated with an imp specifically? “And I know you’ll pay for it” because she’s so self-assured that the other Goetia family members will back her over him? It’s possible, but the only other Goetia we know of now is Andrealphus, who of course sides with Stella anyway. For all we know, they’re in the minority, but Andrealphus does make it a point to say that no Goetia has ever acted as Stolas has before (which…if the family is that big and old…I doubt it. But I don’t doubt the family’s ability to cover up a scandal before it reaches the proportions that Stolas and Stella’s divorce is about to reach).

But Stolas managed to stand up for himself, for his OWN sake, and that’s not a victory to be taken lightly for a man in an abusive marriage. But it doesn’t assuage the other matter weighing on his heart and soul. It’s fine. Full Moon is coming.

…Paimon and Cash had the same voice actor? Okay…that somehow makes more sense, why Cash’s voice sounds like that.

…yeah, these season 2 episodes are gonna have to be done on their own. Especially since every single one of them is an absolute banger. But that means this one is done! And we get to jump into Via’s head next episode and maybe relieve some of this tension I’m constantly living with trying to understand how Stella can be such a raging horrible person and yet Via still defends her! (To a point; there is a pattern where Via gets angry about something only to reveal she’s actually upset about something else, but! Next episode!!)

[nightguide]

I WILL DO A 5 MIN FROM A 23 MIN DURATION OF AN EXPLANATION OF THE SERIES MEANT IN FULL FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT ALIAS THE TOPICS DISCUSSED ABOUT VICTORIOUS ON A FULL ROTATION

title credits bitch slap the misogyny of your childhood and you have it (for every reason to kill 'that past' you think you have) so it's a silicon valley take on your life right now (you knew you hated it because you traditionally wanted what the OG cast would have had going on in your fan fiction take where Gabriella actually exists over some sentiment of your life being in line with her as a struggling student going into a makeup academy like life you never lived cuz Vanessa's Dad died then)

you kill to forsake the actress in doing it which is why she appears to be 'humble' then than now (ow)

killed off Troy Bolton wannabe

disney have a slag line reduction (like don't put Ms Darbus like that in a racy edgy cult-like start up of Glee if you told me to rewatch it to understand how bad Will Schuester got it for now, this type of woman he calls 'hot fuzz' (Emma Pillsbury is delayed in a sociopathic way)

God bias, now what am i watching next?

go ahead, say that you hate it or you bought more subscription to losing yourself over now you think??? (terrible line of way of saying 'Sharpay and Evan' rn without you ringing up more ideas to hate watch than scorn now, Disney plus for forgetting you at the same time)

corny obsession of smug

no backspace, so they did not try anybody out for auditions than enrol now pearl harbour students to gym-cry their way into heartbreak again or so this is Harrison Ford's last stand into finding the one common fantasy autopsy to get into Ricky's head right now (cuz he cannot seem to remember it the first time)

short dazed and unparallel, they would have never been together if now Ricky was oblivious over how he met Nini over a thought fraud council tax situation (their whole time being you)

Rachel Berry psychopath associate, now you chose your trajectory on broadway being good as Olivia thinks she is on Funny Girl (now i know a Schue)

stern agreement with Dianna Agron's motive to outdate you by a ring finger, so there is no one you can talk to but you may as well put other accounts to support your act into not being a member Berry than you being a suicidal innovator of a new age (congratulations, Olivia Rodrigo)

host sarcasm

he does not look lost 'in love', however Joshua Bassett is looking for a reason to roll out (why he looks too deranged to play the part is his socio-suicidal sarcasm to hit nails with Rodrigo's trajectory now gamma Finn Hudson of the group: like, we don't need another one since HSJ agreed per role thought of mind that this was her terms and conditions than you now)

her entire expression is lorem ipsum of human cavity, please help me now owwwwwwwww. she takes the 'kill' expression too damn soon or help you must be this is comical but fatigue is failure to sleep, Olivia Rodrigo payed her bills in the UK, don't harm her soul but this is karmic canon now if you did not pray or eat but she can't even sleep, giyaaaaad

Anson sucked life out of me like that

shut the fuck up this does not look like a intuitive funeral like a glam school camp turned off and this is heck on intuition going nowhere, so you're looking at the screen after a channel shuts off and you see the titles coming up like 'coming back on 7:30' and it's just liminal spaces energy from there on, like you're alive watching dead people observing you (carcass intuition band service)

sound cancels body itself, so they happened to seperate from time to allude space. so you knew who was possessing HSJ at the time where you knew why autism has a big defect in Hollywood (no observation, just social-geo climates now making sense into why you're following my account (thank you)

episodes: 0 special + 1 the auditions

WHAT THE FUCK the fuck: the series

[sailorfailures]

I fell in love with these postcards from the Girl’s Night Out popup cafe the moment I saw them! I knew I had to get my hands on them, and the lovely @blaze-rocket was able to help that happen.

I cannot get over how perfect these postcards are. To me, this is what Sailor Moon is; a testament to the little moments from the series that made us fall in love with the characters, especially how their personal preferences were reflected in their fashion choices. In a world of merch where it’s easy to just slap a random crescent moon on something pink and say “look, it’s Usagi,” the designer responsible for these graphics went the extra mile to take imagery from the show itself that needles its way deep into our nostalgia-cortexes.

How many references do you recognise? Quiz yourself against this comprehensive (image-heavy) list! 👇

The inners’ postcards all reference the eye-catching sign for Game Center Crown, the iconic arcade where Motoki Furuhata worked and the gang would all congregate to play games and share information.

Starting in R they switched to hanging out at Fruits Parlor Crown, a cafe attached to the arcade staffed by Motoki’s sister Unazuki, which the Inners’ postcards all also reference. They would often get brightly-coloured drinks there, but the drinks pictured on these postcards seem to specifically line up with the real drinks available at the Girls Night Out popup cafe.

Sailors Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto’s postcards all reference “Café Étrangère,” which was the name of the cafe they were seen dining at in the Sailor Moon S movie. Even the logo is replicated faithfully from a scene only a few seconds long.

All the girls’ clothes are hanging on coat hangers shaped like Luna/Artemis/Diana.

Ami / Sailor Mercury’s references:

Ami’s casual outfit is an unusual choice since she only wore it a handful of times over the entire series, and half the times she wore it, it was given a different colour scheme with a green jacket instead of the yellow version pictured here.

Her “mini data computer” is her most iconic tool/weapon/accessory, revealed in episode 009, directly after her introduction.

The pink package is how Usagi and the other girls wrapped up her transformation stick and communicator watch as Ami’s going-away present in episode 062.

The ice cream may be a reference to the same episode, as she shared a cone with Chibi-Usa before she left, and returned to the store to protect her friends from the Droid Nihpasu.

The flash cards are a method Ami commonly used to help her study, and are particularly similar to the ones shown in the SuperS short “Ami’s First Love”.

Rei / Sailor Mars’s References:

Rei wore her casual outfit fairly frequently, starting and most notably in the beginning of the Sailor Moon R movie.

The small red o-mamori charm is from Hikawa Shrine, seen frequently but introduced in episode 010.

The paper ofuda ward was used frequently by Rei to fight evil, even before she could transform, but most notably in the attack sequence for “Akuryou, Taisan” (“Foul Spirit, Begone”).

To my knowledge the purple bag isn’t a specific reference, but Rei did throw a similar purse at a Cardian as a makeshift weapon in episode 048 before she got her Guardian memories back.

The gift-wrapped shopping boxes are the exact same ones as carried by Rei in the Sailor Moon Sailor Stars opening sequence before she trips and falls, right down to the patterns on the paper...

... which in itself may be a reference/callback to Rei’s tendency to make Yuuichirou carry her shopping (maybe so she doesn’t trip).

The phoenix-shaped pendant is a reference to episode 183; it’s made of glazed ceramic, crafted by Rei’s cousin Kengo Ibuki, given to her as a child after she convinced him not to smash it even though he his pottery a “failure”.

Makoto / Sailor Jupiter’s References:

Makoto didn’t start wearing her casual outfit until around S, but she wore it frequently after that, especially as she became more confident wearing “feminine” clothing. They even remembered her iconic gold wrist watch worn over her sleeve!

Her uniquely decorated bento bag debuted in episode 026, her introductory episode, along with the rounded green cutlery. The pouch has been featured a few more times since and its design is a mainstay in almost every Sailor Moon canon.

The teal hairtie and the rose-shaped earrings are two of Makoto’s iconic accessories, some of the only non-magical fashion accessories in the entire series to stay the same whether the character is transformed or not (the other being Minako’s infamous red bow). Her earrings also served a dual purpose as makeshift projectile weapons in episode 025.

The blue book is 月夜の天馬 (Tsukiyo no Tenma, “The Moonlit Pegasus”), a novel which was written by Tomoko Takase and introduced in epsode 134. Makoto knew Tomoko from her old middle school, before she transferred, and was the first one to read her first draft after retrieving it from bullies. She encouraged Tomoko to try and get it published. Makoto meets with her again and helps her overcome her writer’s block to finish her sequel, 天馬幻想 (Tenma Gensou, “Pegasus Fantasy”).

Minako / Sailor Venus’s References:

This is one of Minako’s most-worn casual outfits, especially if you consider the additional outfits based off it. Despite its prevalence, she didn’t start wearing it until the beginning of S.

Minako’s red hair ribbon is her most iconic accessory, but did you know why she started wearing it? The Codename: Sailor V prequel manga explains that she started wearing the ribbon instead of her usual red hairtie on the suggestion of her “first crush” Higashi. But when he turns out to be an enemy in disguise, she decides she looks good with a ribbon anyway, and keeps wearing it for her own benefit.

The red mask is a reference to Minako’s role as Sailor V before joining the team as Sailor Venus. Sailor V was known as a mysterious vigilante superhero and a fictional video game character as early as episode 001, but in episode 033 Minako revealed herself to the rest of the Sailor Team, dramatically removing her mask one final time.

Minako was known to be a skilled volleyball player, especially in the manga, and it was especially relevant in episode 100 where she had to delicately return the serve of an energy sphere containing the Pure Heart of her old volleyball crush, Asai.

The sign with Minako’s name can be seen hanging off the front of her bedroom door in episode 192.

[Manga scan courtesy of Miss Dream.]

Usagi / Sailor Moon’s References:

Usagi wore this outfit in the Sailor Moon R movie, making it a memorable choice. Although the movie aired roughly midway through R, Usagi didn’t start to wear this outfit casually again until the S season.

Usagi is shown eating a lot of food, especially sweets, but she seems to have a particular fondness for crepes, snacking on them in several different episodes.

In episode 143 we can see that Usagi is very technologically trendy - for the times. She’s carrying that blue-and-pink pager which she and Mamoru use to contact each other by way of goroawase, that is, deciphering messages based on the different pronunciations of numbers, a precursor to modern texting. Mamoru pages her the numbers 84 51, which could be read as hachi yon go ichi; reading only the first syllables, and substituting go for the related sound ko, Usagi would interpret the message as hayo koi, which sounds a bit like “come quick” - she’s late for their date. Oops!

By the way, pagers were often called “pocket bells” (pokeberu) in Japan, and became so rapidly popular they even found their way into the lyrics of Rashiku Ikimasho, the ending song for the SuperS season; 「泣きたい時には ポケベルならしてよんで、戦士の休息」 [Nakitai toki ni wa POKEBELL narashite yonde, senshi no kyuusoku] “If you feel like crying, send a page thru the Pocket Bell, take a break from [being a] Guardian”

Chibi-Usa / Sailor Chibi Moon’s References:

Chibi-Usa doesn’t technically have a school uniform, but her casual clothes are often styled after sailor suits as a reflection of both her idolisation of the figure of “Sailor Moon” and of her desire to be seen as older and more mature than she appears. She changes “uniforms” every season, and this pinafore outfit is the version she wears in SuperS. She wore the other outfit in the SuperS premiere episode.

The handgun is from episode 060, Chibi-Usa’s introduction to the series and arguably one of the most iconic absurdist scenes in all of Sailor Moon. The gun itself is actually a toy, probably a transformation of the Luna-P sphere, which Chibi-Usa uses to try and threaten Usagi into giving her the Legendary Silver Crystal. When she “shoots” Usagi, the bullet is revealed to be nothing but a suction-cup flower, also pictured. (By the way, if you were wondering, Chibi-Usa’s fake gun is based on a real Colt M1911A1.) She transforms the Luna-P into a toy gun to shoot Sailor Moon again in the Sailor Moon R movie, this time as a way to motivate Usagi to fight.

The Luna-P sphere was a mysterious gadget Chibi-Usa kept with her for the duration of R and parts of S. It’s unknown where it came from, but it could be assumed to have been created from advanced 30th century technology. It was a combination toy and tool which could transform itself into a variety of objects, formulas, and even weapons, though none were shown to be particularly powerful. It could also be used to communicate with Sailor Pluto at the Time-Space Door. When Chibi-Usa was manipulated into becoming Wicked Lady in episode 085, the Luna-P sphere also transformed into an “evil” and much more dangerous version.

The Space-Time Key was a special tool given to her by Sailor Pluto that allowed her to travel between the past and the future, though it was difficult for her to wield effectively.

The sunhat was given to Chibi-Usa by Ikuko, so she treasured it greatly. In episode 112 it got blown away and was retrieved by Hotaru Tomoe, which allowed her to meet Chibi-Usa and marked the beginning of their close friendship.

The blue-and-red package was a gift containing two manga books (”Drop Drop” vol. 1 & 2 by Ukon Katakuri) which Chibi-Usa intended to give to her new friend Hotaru in episode 113.

In episode 127, Chibi-Usa returned home to the future, and the girls all made her some going-away gifts. Ami made her a floppy disk (lol) to help her study, Rei made her a casette tape (double lol) of her music, Makoto packed her a lunch, and Minako made her a photo album of their time together. Usagi hand-sewed Chibi-Usa the rabbit-shaped backpack using a real outfit she used to love when she was a child.

Michiru / Sailor Neptune’s References:

This is a somewhat unusual choice for Michiru’s casual outfit, as she only wore it for two episodes, and that’s only because they made up a two-part story. But perhaps because the episodes were so pivotal - with Haruka and Michiru almost learning Usagi’s true identity - the outfit itself became more memorable.

Not only do they include Michiru’s violin, but they included the lemon she bounced off the instrument as she played to show off her skills in episode 093.

The teacup, teaspoon and saucer are the same set Michiru was seen drinking from at Fruits Parlor Crown in episode 094.

Michiru and Haruka both reference episode 095, where they had to enter a “true love” contest as part of their investigation. The contestants were asked to find their partner’s hand in an anonymous lineup, and Haruka was able to identify Michiru’s hand immediately.

Michiru used Haruka as a model for an illustration in her green sketchbook in episode 106.

Michiru’s Talisman is the Deep Aqua Mirror, revealed in episode 110 and used in her attack Submarine Reflection. She could also use it to receive prophetic visions. Visually, it was based on real-life art nouveau hand mirrors, and symbolically represented the mirror from the Three Sacred Treasures.

Haruka / Sailor Uranus’s References:

Conversely, Haruka wore this outfit a lot. Maybe more than she should’ve.

The teacup and saucer is the same set Haruka was seen drinking from at Fruits Parlor Crown in episode 094.

Haruka’s postcard also references the lovers contest in episode 095 (see above).

The purple scarf is from episode 096; Haruka was wearing it as a necktie when she almost ran into Makoto on her motorcycle. Haruka used the scarf to bandage Makoto’s road rash, which she returned later, though now smitten.

Not only is Haruka’s motorcycle included, they also referenced (one of) her car(s), the 1968 Toyota 2000GT.

Haruka’s Talisman is the Space Sword, revealed in episode 110 and used in her attack Space Sword Blaster. Symbolically it represented the sword from the Three Sacred Treasures.

Setsuna / Sailor Pluto’s References:

Setsuna didn’t have a school uniform, since she wasn’t a student, so she got to double-up on her casual outfits. Her mauve outfit is her most recognisable, wearing it so often it may as well have been her uniform. In fact, she was rarely seen wearing anything else until Sailor Stars, where she started experimenting with other outfits, including the Time Lord-esque suit on the right.

The potted plant is a Tellun, the energy-draining plant created by Tellu in episode 121. Setsuna was investigating it when it attempted to attack her, but she was protected by her Talisman, the Garnet Orb (also pictured, representing the jewel in the Three Sacred Treasures). She then went on to destroy the remaining Tellun plants and defeat Tellu with the help of Sailor Moon, Sailor Chibi Moon, and Tuxedo Mask.

The teacup and saucer are the same set Setsuna is seen drinking from at Cafe Etranger in the Sailor Moon S movie.

In episode 182, the girls are discussing the mysterious arrival of Chibi Chibi while eating ice cream on a hot summer’s day. Setsuna appears out of nowhere to confirm their suspicions... carrying that popsicle of her own.

Hotaru / Sailor Saturn’s References:

Hotaru tended to wear the same thing, mostly all-black, but she did occasionally adventure into rich colours like this bottle green two-piece outfit and iconic raspberry beret.

The sunhat belonged to Chibi-Usa; it symbolises the beginning of their friendship, when Hotaru caught it after it blew away in episode 112.

Chibi-Usa gave Hotaru the rabbit backpack in episode 116, using it to pass a note inviting her on a picnic.

Hotaru collects lamps, and the two referenced here are seen in her bedroom, which she keeps dimly lit to manage her pain.

The window might seem random, but it was random in the series, too - it’s one of the curtained window which looks out from Hotaru’s bedroom, and when a Daimon experiment goes terribly wrong in episode 118 and transforms her house into a Bamboozled-like inter-dimensional maze, one window overlooks a vast ocean while the other overlooks a strange jungle.

Hotaru’s weapon as Sailor Saturn is the Silence Glaive. It’s said that she possesses enough power to destroy the world with a single drop of her scythe.

That’s it! You made it! How many references did YOU know? 🌙

[jalapeno-princess]

10:34 A.M.

The sunlight was warm against your cheeks as it shone in through the windows; yet, it wasn’t the harsh rays that woke you from your comfortable slumber.

You could feel a tender gaze directed right at you along with a pair of strong arms, your favorite pair of arms to be exact—wrapped protectively around your waist.

Gentle fingers glided softly along your face; almost featherlight to the point where you wouldn’t have even noticed that he was touching you if it weren’t for the callousness of his digits connecting the dots of your scattered freckles and the cool metal on his fourth finger.

You had yet to open your eyes, but you were confident in the idea that your husband was staring at you and you didn’t want to make it known that you were awake just yet.

Honestly, it felt as though you were still in dreamland—everything was just too good to be true. Memories of the most perfect day of your entire life soon came rushing back to your mind and you couldn’t help the small smirk that was now encompassing your face—giving away the fact that you were no longer asleep.

“Good morning Mrs.Tuan.”

Hearing the excitement yet raspiness in his voice along with his last name that was also yours now sent so many emotions to your chest. You were over the moon to say the least. He let out a giggle when you hid your face against his bare chest and placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“Good morning Mr.Tuan.”

“Ah, I’m never going to get tired of calling you Mrs.Tuan. I still can’t believe you’re my wife. God, it’s like a dream come true—“

“Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for over five years for you to propose to me—“

Mark let out a guttural groan at the sound of your playful complaint; dropping his head in between the valley of your breasts and earning himself a shove to his shoulder. A blush was now adorning your cheeks; only then as you felt his warm breath against your nipples did you come to the realization that you were naked. It didn’t bother you though, not like it did when you and Mark first became intimate back in the third week of your relationship.

He was your husband now and the two of you made love to each other numerous times in the duration of your five year relationship that you were no longer shy whenever you’d find yourself naked around him. Actually, Mark was very vocal about how insanely beautiful you were—and devastatingly sexy which led you to lose your timidity and gain a newfound confidence. One that you never knew existed and you owed entirely to your husband.

“Hey, we went over this on multiple occasions baby. I wanted to propose to you only months after we started dating—I knew I was in love with you after only the third date. Trust me, it was extremely difficult for me having to introduce you as my girlfriend and not my wife for these last few years. I don’t know why—I mean sure, getting to call you my girlfriend and getting to be called your boyfriend was all that mattered to me. You’re my soulmate y/n. My person—but something about the titles “wife” and “husband” is more permanent. It solidifies a relationship. But I wanted us to be finished with school and settled in to our actual careers before taking things any further. It worked out though didn’t it? Look at us. We’re both redeemingly successful with our positions at the companies we work at and we share a two story house in our mid twenties. Not that it matters, but we can live comfortably as a married couple unlike a lot of people our age. We’re a whole now. You’re stuck with me and my penis for the rest of your life—“

“Oh God. Just when it was getting so romantic, you just had to throw your dick in there. Well, you’re stuck with me and my pussy—“

“I don’t consider myself stuck at all. Your pussy is so magical—fuck, we’ve had sex at least three hundred times, maybe even more than that and every single time, you never failed to blow my mind—and my dick. But shit, last night had to be the best night of my entire life. Yesterday, was the most incredible day in my twenty-seven years of existence. You are the most beautiful person in the entire world and I’m not just saying that because you’re my wife, it’s true. Not only on the outside; which, honestly, you are a sight for sore eyes. I can never take my eyes off of you and I never want to. I’d stare at you in awe of your beauty all day if time permitted me to. But you have the most kindest and generous hearts and you are just the sweetest soul. I can’t wait to remind you every single day for the rest of our lives just how perfect you are to me.”

He brought his thumb up to the brim of your eyelids and wiped away a tear that you didn’t even know fell. God, this man was really the love of your life. You’d never be able to comprehend exactly what you did to deserve being the lucky girl who loved Mark and got to be loved by him, but you would never take your position in his life as his bride for granted.

Before you could continue to let any more tears fall at his endearing words, he was quick to continue his not so innocent speech about the many naughty thoughts taking up all the space his mind.

“I don’t know if it’s because we’re newlyweds or because you never cease to amaze me each and every time we stumble in to bed together but the sex we had just hours ago in my opinion was the best sex we’ve ever had. I know I complimented you almost the entire day yesterday on how gorgeous you looked in that wedding dress and I’m sure my never ending tears that flowed down my cheeks as you walked down the aisle and my wedding vows that were almost twenty minutes long are enough to prove my undying love for you. But God, seeing you in that dress—that dress was made for you. You looked so fucking ethereal and damn, it looked so much better on the floor once I got you alone. You know, my mind is still a little hazy from sleeping—maybe you could remind me just how amazing it was—if I knew you were this abusive, I would have made you work harder for that ring you’re wearing.”

Both his and your laughter filled the room and you couldn’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes and pinching his cute little butt. Your wedding day was everything you could have ever dreamt of and more. There were countless times in your relationship where you would day dream about what your wedding would be like. It didn’t take you too long to realize that Mark was the person you wanted to settle down and start a family with. Everything within you; your heart, your mind, your body and your soul was his. You were set on Mark Tuan; for life. Since he took his time with asking you to marry him, you developed some insecurities about whether or not he saw himself marrying you. Sure, he may have talked about your future together every now and then, but not once did he ever bring up marriage so you just assumed he had no plans on getting married at all.

It made your engagement all the more special when he did finally get around to proposing to you less than a year ago while the two of you were in vacation in Hawaii. You tried to convince yourself that you would be happy even if Mark were to confess he had no plans on tying the knot. As long as Mark was in your life, you were content with whatever title you held in his. But on that magical night when he got down on one knee and went in to detail about his undying love for you as the two of you watched the sunset go down, you felt wholeheartedly that his proposal was one dreams were made of.

“What are you thinking about?” You looked at him in curiosity and it was in that moment; looking at his blank stare did you realize you were probably mirroring his exact facial expression.

“Nothing. Just that I’m really happy. Really, really happy. You mean everything to me Mark. I don’t know what I would do without you and I dont even want to think about my life before you were in it. It was colorless and dull. Now all I see is so many beautiful colors. Just the mere thought of you along pulls on my heartstrings in such a miraculous way. I love the way you make me feel and I love the effect you’ve had on me. I’m so in love with you and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.”

Your husband gave you his signature gummy smile before smashing his mouth roughly against yours. He licked on your bottom lip and took it in between his sharp teeth, nibbling all but gently while dragging his cold fingertips along your smooth skin.

“You’re my happily ever after y/n. I kind of regret not getting around to marrying you sooner. I just really wanted to give you the ring and the wedding that you’ve always wanted. You deserved the entire universe and more y/n. Truly, there’s so much I want to give you. You are genuinely out of this world; you’re practically a goddess—an otherworldly being and honestly, you deserve so much more than what this world has to offer you. I’m not stupid my love, I’ve picked up on the many wedding magazines you’d scatter throughout the house, I’ve noticed you’ve been watching a couple of episodes from that one Disney weddings show and I overheard you talking to your mom about not knowing how I felt about marriage. I’m sorry that you had to question my feelings for you, but I thought that my constant love confessions and the way I could never stop holding you, kissing you and needing to be around you was enough to prove the fact that you are my home. You own my heart y/n. You always have and you always will forever. The feeling is mutual baby. I don’t care what ends up happening to me. I don’t care where we end up living—if we ever decide to move houses, cities, states or even countries. I don’t care what my job title is, how much money I’ll end up making or what anyone other than you has to think or say about me. Life—life can be rough and there are days that I just want to scream, cry and run away. But then I look at you and I see my purpose—I look at you and see the reason for my existence. You’re the reason why I breathe. You’re the reason why my heartbeat increases—the reason why I wake up with the biggest grin on my face. You are my reason to be happy and I could never thank you enough for all you’ve done for me in the last five years. Now, I can’t wait to continue to relish in our love for many more decades to come.”

[dooptown]

episode...what was it. 9?

In a surprise, we’re getting Melon foreshadowing? God I hope the anime fixes his whole deal. Honestly any season past this is gonna be interesting The Tao and Kibi scene was lovely and touching, despite Tao still looking horrible. I swear the feline models in the show all look really peculiar. Same with the shishigumi models. The only one that looks good is Free imo The animal that Gouhin counsels changes species and gender because...??? I guess they had some reason to do that. RIP the “dirty money” joke with Gouhin and Legosi, though. In fact Gouhin doesn’t ask about Legosi’s family because it seems like Legosi’s family is being relegated to next season, if I had to guess

I’m glad they kept the smell vault in, because “Louis’s scent sticks out to me the most” is a huge can of worms and the anime onlys need to see it

As I thought, Louis seeing Legosi in the BAM was smacked together with their proper meeting. It’s interesting how this insinuates that Legosi was in Melon’s proximity when the Shishigumi captured him, and Legosi had no idea. Cuz like there’s no way they’d bring up a new plot point about elephant tusks for no other reason. There’s a good amount of angst in the way they did the scene here, but i still lament the loss of how it’s done in the manga. We only get an abridged version of Louis’s crisis here Anyway, this whole bit is pretty good. Legosi’s VA fucking nails it, and Louis’s reaction to him is done really well. We don’t get Legosi crying as he runs away which is one of my favorite scenes in the manga, but he does sound choked up when embracing Louis. Also since it’s a proper scene we get to see the whole duration of the hug, and just how long Louis lets him do it. I also really love how they kind of fall into a natural “shoot the shit” conversation tone, showing how their trust in each other is still intact. The tender face touch isn’t as tender and we don’t zoom on it, but hey that’s just a loss when viewing it thru lougosi lens (which i do all the time) Seeing Legosi in action with the shishigumi was great, and I can only imagine what the hell Louis is thinking when he’s doing that. Also when he’s holding him...that sequence takes so long and it’s so oddly sensual? once again that’s just my bias but wow. Oh my god the mad Legosi scene was great. I love the low angle camera angle and his big ol feet stomping. And Pina is amazing in his scene here. The voice he does mimicking the broken light is amazing and how he just defuses everything really does make him seem like he’s taking Louis’s role in a way Riz seeing Legosi and Pina talking is new. I suppose that’s why their scene is moved inside, but you’d think they (or Pina) would know not to do that when Riz is clearly around...but Riz needs more and more motivation to kidnap Pina later so it works I suppose I really liked this episode, but the fact there’s only 3 episodes left is a bit alarming. From the previews we’re getting the shower fight next episode, and Legosi is still shaved there, so...moth san is either not happening or it happens after? or it doesn’t grow his fur back? who knows. I just know i hope his fur comes back soon cuz shavedgosi is getting painful to look at But yeah, anyway, that’s a LOT of content to fit into three episodes...I can’t see how the showdown with Riz couldn’t NOT take up an entire episode. I have a feeling beloved Dressgosi might be cut, but it’s pretty integral to Louis knowing when and where Legosi will be which in turn causes him to quit the shishigumi? Unless he learns the info in a new way in a new scene that takes no time at all (i’m assuming this will be the case cuz i’m a pessimist) But seriously if they rob us of animated Dressgosi scene...hoo boy

[coinofstone]

5x12 The Diamond of the Day pt 1

Final two episodes! Big finale! Why am I making myself cry in the middle of the afternoon! Both eps in this post.

I do love that they made Arthur a sore loser

Enter treacherous white woman #2. Srsly it was lazy writing when they did it for Mordred, it's worse now with Gwaine.

I do love the actual Round Table war room discussion but a) why isn't Merlin seated at the round table and b) why does Leon have so much goddamn faith in Camelot's walls? Like??? You literally said the same thing last year and yet Camelot *did* fall when Agravaine brought an army through the tunnels!

Poor Aithusa. Kid's had a rough life.

I do love Arthur responding to Merlin presenting him with all his supplies ready - which he prepared without his magic mind you - with suspicion 😂

But then he calls Merlin a coward and it's sad

Katie has such a great voice. That entire thing in the cave from her taunting to her laughter to the spell, it just just beautifully played.

Whole ass battle to prepare for and Arthur is just walking around moping cuz Merlin isn't there

So, Merlin's father-vision telling him he's magic itself and he just needs to believe in himself to get his magic going again, does this mean he *didn't* need to go to the cave to get it back? Cuz it seems like he needed to recharge in the cave itself, his injuries were healed when he woke up. That seems like magic cave stuff to me.

Also that "always have been and always will be" - I'm taking to mean 'always have been' in the sense that since he's 'magic itself' even before he was born, his magic existed in other, intangible forms, like we are all stardust etc. But now that he is, he will always be, aka he will not die.

Arthur waking up with his wife in his arms and Merlin's name on his lips, jumping out of bed to act on dream-info.

Balinor telling Merlin to trust in what will be.... like bitch that is literally not how this ends.

5x13 The Diamond of the day pt 2

You know that gif of the cat knocking everything off the table? That's literally Merlin shooting lightning at everyone from his perch on the ridge.

I have a lot of snarky things to say about Merlin coming out of the cave in full Dragoon gear and riding a horse instead of teleporting like the other witches but I'ma keep that to myself.

Mordred is a bitch and Aithusa has terrible aim. At least Aithusa's loyalty to Morgana makes sense.

Arthur said oh shit I'm magic - oh wait no it's that old man again

He also straight up "No! Bad dragon!"-ed Aithusa

Y'know, for all I've watched this episode and screamed about Arthur's death, I don't think I've ever focused on the exact moment he gets stabbed before.

Mordred catches him from behind and he meets it, no fault there. But as soon as he realizes his assailant is the knight who turned on him and joined Morgana, what does he do? HE LOWERS HIS FUCKING SWORD

He leaves himself wide fucking open and vulnerable and Mordred seizes the opportunity. I understand wanting the moment of recognition for Arthur, but on what planet is a trained warrior going to drop his sword mid-attack because he recognizes his attacker as a dude who only just recently decided to forsake him? It's soooooo dumb

There was a whole sequence a few episodes back where Mordred and Arthur are sparring, the point of it was to show that Mordred has become a skilled swordsman. So what exactly was the point in having Mordred run Arthur through as soon as Arthur idiotically lets his guard down? This should've been a meticulously choreographed sword fight, with Mordred getting the upper hand and sticking Arthur properly. Not this nonsense. Look at Arthur's FACE! Oh, Mordred... 👉👈 do you maybe wanna be friends again- STAB ... guess not

Uther's been rolling in his grave but he's taking an extra tumble watching Arthur forget all his skills and training in that moment.

I do appreciate Arthur getting Mordred back though. Like that moment of merciless anger followed by the hurt and regret playing on Arthur's face, warring with surety and responsibility. It was good.

I've rewatched the big confession scene about 16 times just now.

I don't quite understand why Merlin took Arthur to the woods to begin with. Instead of bringing him to the med tent in the battlefield or back to Camelot. What was the reason?

Merlin saying it feels strange (to use magic freely in front of Arthur) and him just going 'yeah' completely deadpan makes me laugh every time.

I really feel like Arthur's head should be elevated at a further incline if he's going to be fed.

Gaius refusing to outright expose Merlin as the sorcerer but nonetheless letting Gwen figure it out on her own warms my heart.

My God Arthur is sitting there dying, feeling betrayed about his best friend 'lying' to him, and still he can't stop himself from looking at Merlin's mouth.

Percival summoned MUSCLE POWER

Hey um random but why does Gwaine even know where Merlin and Arthur are headed? Why would Gaius tell him?

Arthur looks at Merlin so lovingly after he's killed Morgana 😭😭

And now he's literally grabbing at the man's hand 😭 "just hold me, please"

That's gotta be the gayest death scene in television history. If you can watch that without thinking Arthur puts his hand on the back of Merlin's head because some part of him wants to bring him down for a kiss, or that "just hold me, please" is in any way shape or form a 'bros' thing, and certainly not at all an intentional mirror/callback to Isolde dying in Tristan's arms, then I'm afraid you are what we professionals refer to as a dumb-as-nails fucknugget, more commonly phrased as 'willfully ignorant'.

"All that you have dreamt of building has come to pass" yeah except for the whole, y'know, magic still being illegal thing.

I've said this before, but, while I'm sure there was a determined intention to have Arthur die in his armor, probably in some kind of attempt to make sure the audience knows he's died a warrior's death, I *really* think it was kinda stupid that Merlin never removed it, despite Arthur being weak, despite the fact that there was something like five days between him getting stabbed and him actually dying, despite that for the duration of that time they were traveling or hiding out. Merlin managed to produce a cloak to put on Arthur, why did he need the full armor on that whole time? Like even if they left the chainmail on, those plates on his shoulder were just getting in the way, and it looked quite uncomfortable.

Also not for nothing but Lancelot got like, every flower in the forest surrounding lush verdant greens in his death boat, Arthur gets a bunch of sticks.

It suddenly occurs to me, watching this now, that the reason Leon/Percival is such a common side pairing in Merthur fics, is because these two motherfuckers are the only original Knights of the Round Table to survive the series. 🤦‍♀️ I dunno how I failed to notice that before now. My stupidity amazes me.

I'm *really* glad they decided to do this scene with Gwen wearing the Pendragon red dress instead of the black mourning dress. Yes she looks fabulous in it but it's more the symbolism than the 'reality' - with Gwen wearing her house's colors it represents a continuation rather than a finality. Camelot will go on, Gwen will undoubtedly end the war on magic and with Morgana dead (and frankly, I think by now she already brought about the death of all the angry incel type rulers in Albion) there stands to reason her reign will begin with a period of peace, possibly longer than Arthur's. We kind of have to assume that the 'time the poets speak of' is, inevitably, Gwen's reign - which only came about through Arthur's death. It's a little bit toooo subtle in my opinion, but at the same time, I understand the need for the focus on Merlin and Arthur - after all, this show was their journey - not leaving much time to focus on Gwen and Camelot in the aftermath of Arthur's death.

I will just say, the first time I watched this that fucking truck scared the ever living shit out of me. I also just immediately, viscerally hated that scene and declared it invalid - but I think it was because the truck made me jump out of my skin. It has since grown on me, particularly once I started reading 'Arthur Returns' fic.

Everything beyond this point is post-series spec and headcanon, so if that's not your jam you can exit safe in the knowledge that as usual, if there's anything worth commenting on in the S5 extras, I will create a separate post!

For those interested, my go-to post-series fic is We Begin Again by katherynefromphilly I fully headcanon this series as the continuation of the series.

I have a lot of thoughts about Gwen and Merlin post-Camlann.

For one, poor fucking Gwen. She's lost her father, her brother, and her husband, all by what, age 30? That's rough. And who knows what happened to her mom, that was pre-series and I don't think it was ever mentioned.

Merlin, dear god poor Merlin. First of all, I just wanna say straight off that my instinctive headcanon about Merlin was that he never returned to Camelot. I couldn't really say why exactly. I just don't think he could stand being there after Arthur's death. But practically speaking, Merlin's still got Aithusa to deal with, that dragon needs some godsdamned house training asap. He's still the last Dragonlord, it's reasonable to assume he'd immediately take that on considering Aithusa is partially responsible for Arthur's death (the sword Mordred killed Arthur with, only succeeded in killing Arthur because it had been forged in Aithusa's fire-breath) so he's either going to attempt to train the bad behaviors out of Aithusa, or...well...

The only thing is, I do not believe Merlin would abandon Gwen, or Gaius. So my hc is inherently flawed. I do think Merlin probably spend a couple months with his mum, and I do think he ultimately settled near lake Avalon waiting for Arthur's return.

But I do wonder, what must their relationship have been like? Gwen, surely, would've sought his guidance in establishing laws governing the use of magic. And surely, peace cannot last indefinitely, so Merlin absolutely would've defended Camelot and protected Gwen. There's just no way he could've completely turned his back on them, but I doubt he could bear living in Camelot. And Gwen is both strong and practical enough to get on without him there 24/7, even though I'm sure she'd miss him.

I also think she would've found love again. Whether with Leon, as many people hc, or someone else not in the series.

ANYWAY.

Thanks to everyone who came on this journey with me. I will post comments on the extras if I have anything worth saying - and I think I'll do a master post linking all these episode posts after I clean them up once I get time to sit at a computer and do so. Until then! 💙💚

(Gif source) (h/t @shut-up-merlin)

[jawnjendes]

no one can replace me | shawn mendes

university au SUMMER, shawn x goth gf/oc

masterlist | playlist

**let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist

Days off were meant for sleeping in and being comfortably lazy. I slept until 2PM, far later than I ever slept before, and I felt anything but comfortable. The only productive thing I did was move myself from the bed to the couch in the living room, taking the massive comforter with me. Shawn wasn't home, so I was able to binge as much Grey's Anatomy in order to fill the void in my chest as I could. I really thought I would be able to sleep off the void…

I was lying on my side, a dead look on my face, but I was still invested in a particularly emotional episode. As sad as it was to see Jo Karev's life fall to pieces, it felt almost cathartic to cry over that than my own crap. I cried a lot these days, it was very unlike me. However, I still made sure to keep it private. I didn't want my boyfriend worrying about me anymore than he already did.

It was after 5 o’clock when I heard the lock on the front door jiggle, indicating that Shawn was home. I quickly grabbed the remote and switched to some 90s cartoon. The swift movement of reaching for the remote on the table was a deep contrast compared to how I’ve been all day, so it left me winded and fatigued. Although, the fatigue wasn’t just from moving or the cuts on my belly. I couldn’t even sit up to greet my boyfriend.

Shawn seemed unfazed by my potato state as his footsteps were constant through the apartment. His steps got closer, and I saw him standing by me from my peripherals. Wordlessly, Shawn placed a black gift back on the coffee table, directly in front of my line of vision.

The bag was shiny, and had purple tissue paper sticking out of the top. Just the sight of it caused my brows to knit together.

“Why…?” I asked, my voice unnaturally soft.

“It’s a peace offering,” Shawn explained, “and it’s also an anniversary gift. Come on, sit up.”

I didn’t need the help anymore, but Shawn still went to my side and supported my waist as I sat up straight. Then, I leaned over and grabbed the gift bag, pulling out the tissue. Inside was a red box with the white Nintendo Switch logo on. I pulled it out and discovered a pro controller, and my mouth fell open. This was the limited edition, white controller with the Princess Zelda design. I was rendered speechless.

“We hit six months a couple of weeks ago,” Shawn explained. “I think you were in surgery, so we missed it. And I know you love Zelda, and I know you’ve mentioned this controller before.”

“How many oversized bears did you have to fight to get this?” I finally asked.

Shawn laughed. “Well, it was the last one at EB Games. I saw one guy looking at it when I walked in, so I snatched it when he wasn’t looking.”

A small smile creeped up on my face as I stared at the controller in wonder. It was a sweet gesture, given the absolute bullshit that happened yesterday. “Thank you. I can’t wait to use it.” Then I placed the box back on the table. “I have something for you too.”

“You do?” Shawn smiled, pleasantly surprised.

I nodded and got up from the couch. I felt bad about how our sixth month was spent, even if it was all out of our control. Obviously, there was no time to get him a gift like what he had gotten me, but I did have something in mind. I didn’t think we would still be here for this to happen.

I found my black, tattered wallet and went back out to the living room. As cliche and cheesy as it was, I had to say a few words before presenting the thing. “I’m not gonna lie, my pessimistic ass and my mile high walls made me think we wouldn’t make it this far.”

“Good start,” Shawn replied, mildly amused.

“But,” I continued, “I’m glad I was proved wrong, so uh…” I unzipped my wallet and poked around through one of the credit card pockets.

“You’re giving me money?”

“Shut up.”

It took a minute to get the tiny item out of the tight pocket, but I got it. I presented Shawn with a red guitar pick. The label on it had scratched off long ago, but that’s okay. It wasn’t about the condition of the pick.

“A long time ago, I saw Rise Against in concert,” I told him. “It was… honestly, probably one of the happiest days of my life. I went with my cousin, and she convinced me to mosh our way to the barriers. We did, and I got hit in the face on the way, but we made it to the front. I had a nosebleed, and the lead singer noticed that. He actually saw blood all over my face, and he gave me his pick.” I paused. “That pick means a lot to me, and you mean a lot to me, so I figured I should put those two things together.”

Shawn was looking at the pick in the palm of his hand as he listened to my story. The smile on his face only grew with every word, and he was beaming when he finally met my eyes. Then, he stood up, towering over me with open arms.

“I love it, and I love you.” He gently cupped my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

Feeling his lips against mine brought back certain feelings I hadn’t felt in a hot minute. My arms went around his middle, gently scrunching up the back of his t-shirt and feeling the skin underneath. Shawn smiled against my lips.

“Mm, so we’re celebrating our anniversary today?” I asked when we broke apart.

“I guess we are,” he replied, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers. “What do you wanna do?”

“Quiet night in?” I suggested, wiggling my eyebrows.

He thought about it. “Well… we spend a lot of time between these walls. How about a movie?”

That threw me off a little bit. Shawn never said no to spending the night together between the sheets. But he was right though, we needed to get out of this apartment. “Yeah, we can do a movie.”

~

As much of a homebody as I am, it felt nice to leave the apartment for a little bit. It felt good to doll myself up for a date night. I missed carving out my eyebrows and wearing black eyeshadow. I missed wearing my long, black cardigan and combat boots.

Shawn and I went to the theatre downtown and caught the newest Disney film, on his choosing. That was only because the last time we went to the movies, I made the choice. The last time we went to the movies was also when I started feeling pain, but I didn’t want to bring that up.

I stayed away from literally every food offered at the theatre, and not just because of my mandatory diet. Shawn didn’t eat anything either, so I wasn’t alone. That gave us more time to cuddle on the fancy reclining seats in the theatre. It was pretty much what we would do at home, except we were bound by society’s rules to stay quiet for the duration of the movie.

It was a lovely time. Going to the movies was the one thing to get us out of our heads for a little bit. We didn’t have to talk, we could just be with each other. The mood was light and sweet, and it followed us back into the car.

But, you know… light and dark. Things are always balanced.

Shawn turned on the radio as soon as he roared the car to life. Of course, of fucking course, the Halsey song of my nightmares (as opposed to Nightmare, which is a bop) was in the middle of playing. Things within me turned in a second, and everything lost its color. Half of me wanted to punch the radio into silence, and the other half wanted me to curl up in a ball and let the void take me away. Luca’s words came out of the tiny box in my mind and circled around me.

“I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?”

My breathing went short again, and I could only hear that directly in my ears. I squeezed my hands into fists, trying to bring myself back to Earth.

“You’re not singing,” Shawn pointed out. “I thought you loved this song.”

I wanted to talk, wanted to explain. But we just had a good evening, and I didn’t want to cry all over it. When did I become such an emotional mess?

I shook my head in response.

He glanced at me every so often, but he kept his eyes on the road. “No, you don’t like this song?” he asked.

Once again, I shook my head.

“Okay, I’ll change it.”

The song stopped, and then Shawn reached for my hand. My mood kept on. My legs felt numb, and my hands felt tingly and weird. I walked carefully when we got back to the apartment, like I was going to dismember myself and collapse. I followed Shawn’s steps, bringing all the grey with me.

“I know you’re a quiet person,” he said as we entered the bedroom, “but this is just weird. Are you okay?”

This would be something I’d take up with Callie, but I was no longer her patient. That was on my own doing, so I couldn’t be mad. There were a lot of feelings built up in my chest, and I couldn’t name a majority of them. That was why I needed Callie.

I also needed to bring my spirit back into my body. Without thinking, I slammed the palm of my hand on the bedroom door. The loud smack! startled Shawn, but the sting caused me to make a face and ground me once again.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I felt like I was floating…”

He was just as speechless. “Uh… do you - should I…?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” I told him, my eyes still staring off into space. “I mean, I do, but… I don’t.”

“Should I be worried?” he asked.

“No?”

“Did something happen?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, let’s start there.”

We sat at the foot of the bed. Shawn gave me an expectant look, but I was still silent for a moment. Perhaps I was just overreacting and being a little too dramatic.

“I had a conversation with Luca,” I started, suddenly hesitant. “Nothing bad, just… I don’t know.”

“What did he do?” Shawn asked. “I know you said not to worry, but I’m a little worried.”

I explained the inexplicably off putting conversation I had with Luca, rubbing my hands together sporadically. It was probably confusing without know our entire history, but that was a whole other spiel. They say talking it out helps, but I just felt like I was getting crazier by the second. I felt like I was just overreacting.

“Listen,” Shawn said when I finished rambling, “I don’t love that he knows you so well either. I definitely don’t love what most of your relationship consisted of. But you’ve known each other for a couple of years, much longer than you and I have known each other. He’s just trying to get to you.”

“I know. He loves to challenge me. Normally, I don’t care, and I’m used to it, but this one fucked me up.”

Shawn nodded. “Is that why you slept most of the day?”

“Was it that obvious?”

“I can tell when you’re sleep deprived now. Like, you wear a lot of black, but you look… comfortable and at peace with it. When you're tired, or sad... you look like the world ended."

He held his hand open on my lap, and I laced our fingers together. Was this a weird situation? Was it weird to talk about your ex to your current person?

“Can I tell you something?” Shawn asked after a minute.

“Yeah.” I had to stop myself from sounding too eager. At this point, I’d give anything to not talk about me and my shit anymore. I think I was thinking too hard about this whole thing.

He shifted a little bit, the way one does when they’re about to drop some scalding tea. “When I was seventeen, I dated this girl. Well, I thought I was dating her. She asked me to be her boyfriend, but the only time we spent together was in the backseat of her car, or at her house when her parents weren’t home. She really didn’t want much from me, apart from the obvious.”

“She was playing you,” I replied.

“And I one hundred percent knew it,” Shawn added with a chuckle. “But I really liked her, so I let her do what she wanted. I guess you could say that’s one reason why I was never in a serious, stable relationship until now. It’s like you say, I couldn’t trust anyone.”

That was certainly a side of Shawn I hadn’t heard of. He told me he didn’t have much experience with his love life. Then, I found out he slept around much like I did. Now, I found out he had his own version of Luca. Why was I labeled the mysterious one?

“How come you never told me this before?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “We all have things we don’t talk about. I’m sure there’s still things you haven’t told me.”

“Yeah… yeah, that’s true.”

“So just know, you’re not the only one with a toxic ex. I know how you feel.”

At least he doesn’t work with his ex. At least his anxiety wasn’t intensified to the point of isolation and self destruction. Plus, it was easier for Shawn to open up than it was for me. His heart was in the right place, though. His big, warm heart made my stone cold one beat a little faster, I knew that much.

"You know how powerless you are being with someone like that," I said without realizing what I was doing.

"Yeah," he said. "You know they're not good for you, they only want you at their convenience, but you'd do anything for them."

Oof, he really does know.

"But," he added, "it feels so much better when you're finally free of them. And it feels fucking great to be in a much better place than they are. Realizing you deserve better is like waking up from a bad dream."

"It's like coming up for fresh air."

Shawn looked at me, eyes sparkling. He now held my hand in both of his. "Meeting you was like coming up for fresh air."

I smiled, and placed my one free hand over his. "I know that quote is from Grey's, you can't fool me."

"Hey, can I not relate heavily to the words of Derek Shepherd?" he said with a laugh.

He wasn't wrong. I related a lot of lyrics from his own songs, but I could tell him that another time.

_____

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @mendesromano @ilsolee @1-800-khalid-mendussy 

[alwaysspeakshermind]

Top 5 Anti-Varchie Arguments & Why They Make No Sense

#3: “Varchie breaks up every other day/they’re so toxic.”

Yeah, so...to quote both Hamlet 3.3.87 and that one Bugs Bunny meme—NO. 

[Quick but serious question: is this whole “they break up all the time” thing a trying-to-be-cleverly-snarky exaggeration, or are people really just that unobservant? I want to believe it’s the first, but I see it so often now that I’m becoming horribly afraid it’s the latter.]

Over the course of three seasons and 57 episodes, Archie and Veronica break up three times—three!—and each of those times, the breakup is precipitated by outside events, no one is happy to be breaking up, and both parties make a concerted effort to remain friends while neither ever actually quits caring about the other.

Regarding the toxic argument: no they are quite obviously a safe and non-toxic ship. (Although they do appear to present the occasional choking hazard for children under the age of 13 who cannot seem to swallow Varchie’s happiness).  

“Toxic” is, however, a term I refuse to unpack and dissect at the length it deserves right now because I’m so incredibly sick of the misconceptions Tumblr and the rest of the internet perpetuates regarding toxic/abusive relationships that my exhausted frustration with this subject alone can fill pages and it’ll drag me off topic. So instead, I’m just going to point out that while none of Riverdale’s main ships is toxic (everyone’s just young; there is an actual difference), Varchie is the ship with the fewest elements the internet typically likes to designate as such (antagonism/aggression toward each other, childish/petty behavior designed to get under the other’s skin, resentment/bitterness directed at the other person following a breakup, etc.), so the frequency with which this argument is thrown around is extra-laughable. 

Especially considering how demonstrably willing both Archie and Veronica are to overcome their unfamiliarity with each other’s world, share each other’s concerns, support each other’s interests, and essentially serve as each other’s partner because they both consider all those things fundamental parts of being in a relationship (which they are).

**IMPORTANT NOTE: if you struggle to discern the difference between:

(1)  a healthy real-life relationship (which, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, will in fact include arguments because people are people and no human being who possesses a mind of their own agrees with another human being all the time)

(2)  a toxic real-life relationship (which can include arguments but doesn’t have to)

(3)  healthy and toxic fictional relationships (which are entirely different beasts, particularly in book or TV series as plot requirements frequently dictate that characters react in ways that no actual person would, because the narrative needs conflict or drama to function and publishers/networks still over-rely on relationships to provide that conflict or drama)

then you probably will believe Varchie is toxic, and you definitely need to do some research that goes a little deeper than Wikipedia/that one post with a bunch of notes that was written by a person who came out of their first college psychology class feeling like Sigmund Freud. Toxic relationships are no joke, and it’s a little frightening to see how many people on the internet are so confused as to what constitutes one in reality that they frequently interpret normal, healthy relationships portrayed in fiction as toxic, and borderline-toxic relationships in fiction as healthy. (Also, it doesn’t help that people who, for whatever reason, feel the need to paint their dislike of a certain pairing in homilectic terms, are in the habit of taking scenes that check off a few of the “toxic relationship” boxes and twisting them out of context so that they can pretend there’s an element of moral superiority to their prejudice.)

But, important reminder! Fiction and real life are not the same thing, so if you want to measure fiction by reality’s standards, you have to apply liberal amounts of common sense to your assessments of the goings-on in a fictional world and recognize that many developments are necessitated by things like plot advancement, network executives, deadlines, and your basic this-actor-got-sick or that-actor-is-going-leave-soon randomness. Playing judge, jury, and executioner on the toxicity of TV relationships is, if possible, even more complex than just judging the toxicity of real-life relationships because by arbitrary unwritten law, TV relationships must include some onscreen friction. 

In fact, one of the first things you’re taught about writing fiction is that no one wants to read/watch/hear about the thing that almost happened, so don’t waste valuable narrative time portraying that—yes, everyone likes to joke about how they would love to watch a show where the kids went to class everyday and everything happened normally, but it’s a joke. It’s not true. No one who’s done with high school really wants to go back again and listen to an hour of boring lectures week after week, and no one who’s still in school wants to come home and watch a show that’s a repeat of their entire day. TV shows (or books, or movies) expect you to understand that each episode/scene/chapter/whatever is a story they’re telling you about the time something did happen, and that expectation also extends to fictional relationships. Just because you happen to witness a couple’s every fight/argument/disagreement onscreen does not mean you’re expected to conclude that “OMG, this couple is so toxic! All they ever do is fight!” 

No.

That would be like concluding the only holidays in the town of Riverdale are Christmas and Labor Day because we haven’t seen them have Halloween or New Year’s yet. You’re expected to put two and two together and assume they’ve celebrated those holidays that logically must have preceded and followed Christmas, just like you’re expected to grasp the underlying implication that after weeks/months of happiness and fun and peace, these two characters who love each other are now squabbling/experiencing tension over something important that they disagree on. Archie and Veronica are shown working together, being happy, enjoying one another’s company etc. multiple times before conflict ever arises between them, and them figuring out how to navigate through that conflict is intended as a facet of the story’s plot and a developmental point in their character arcs, not a red flag denoting an unhealthy relationship.

But anyways.

Back to the “they break up all the time” argument and why its fallaciousness is so obvious that it needs to be retired with all possible speed. (And as a bonus, also back to its close relatives “they break up for stupid reasons and get back together in five minutes.”

The “Shouldn’t-Be-Necessary-But-Apparently-Is”Quick Guide To Varchie Breakups:

Breakup #1: The end of episode 2x08

Duration of breakup: Almost one whole episode (that spans the course of at least a couple days)

What leads to breakup: Archie, the comfortable-with-feelings person, drops the L-word and desperately wants to hear it back. Veronica, the uncomfortable-with-feelings person, isn’t sure she can say it back and doesn’t want to go on acting like it’s not a big deal when she can see how important it is to Archie.

The outcome: Neither Archie nor Veronica’s actual feelings change at all from the time of the breakup to the time of the reunion. (No, not even when Betty kisses Archie.) Veronica just finally realizes that what she feels for Archie is love, so she goes to see him and tells him face-to-face. Archie is happy to get back together right then and there, and they resume where they left off.

 “Breakup” #2: The end of episode 3x06

Duration of “breakup”: three +/- episodes (end of 3x06-beginning of 3x10)

What leads to “breakup”: Archie believes Hiram’s vendetta against him endangers everyone close to him, not just him, and decides running away is his only option.

The outcome: Once again, neither Archie nor Veronica’s actual feelings change. They both attempt to move on/forget (Archie with Farm Girl Whose Name Escapes Me, Veronica with Reggie), but don’t exactly succeed as evidenced by Veronica’s anger, Archie’s remorse, and how quickly they want to get back together when he returns to town. 

NOTE: This is the one I sarcastically refer to as “the breakup” because it was over the phone (which, as everyone who’s ever utilized this dodge knows, is the easiest way to keep yourself from going back on a hard decision you don’t want to make. It should be obvious to those with functioning sensibilities that Archie does it that way because he knows if he goes the in-person route he’ll have to see Veronica cry and won’t be able to handle it). Besides that, Archie tells Veronica that he loves her and she was “it” for him from the day he met her, and it clearly kills both them to say goodbye. So again, as any viewer with common sense can see, it’s a breakup in name only—their heads are forced to accept what their hearts can’t, and everything they think is resolved is really only postponed.

 Breakup #3: The end(ish) of episode 3x10

Duration of breakup: ALMOST TWELVE WHOLE EFFING EPISODES (end of 3x10-middleish of 3x22). COUNT THEM.

What leads to breakup: Archie has in no way recovered from his rough experiences over the past months, and is behaving erratically. Veronica observes his out-of-character behavior with a lot of concern, and Reggie (whether accidentally or on purpose) fuels the idea that Archie is no longer Archie, so when Hiram ends up shot the day of the PSATs, Veronica knee-jerk reacts due to all the stress, worries that Archie might be responsible for it, and doesn’t contradict Archie when he asks if they’re done.

The outcome: Once again (surprise, surprise!) neither Archie nor Veronica’s feelings for one another change. They again try to move on/forget each other by dating other people (Josie and Reggie), but it doesn’t work. They remain close, continue to look to each other for comfort/support, and as soon as they’re faced with a life-or-death scenario, they throw caution to the wind and tell each other the truth (“I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you”/“My heart ached for you. Because I felt the same way.”)

 To recap: what do these breakups have in common?

(1) Each breakup is due to a legitimate concern involving the other person, i.e., they are breakups for mature reasons, not breakups for “How dare you not text me back within five minutes” or “I’m a free range pony that can’t be tamed” reasons (with all due respect to Fat Amy)

(2) Neither Archie nor Veronica wanted to break up

(3) Both Archie and Veronica continued to love each other

When you’re young, the un-fun truth is that you frequently make really bad decisions in love. (You also do it sometimes when you’re older, too.) Archie and Veronica breaking up because they mistakenly perceive certain issues as insurmountable, trying to move on with other people and then going back to each other to make things right and reaffirm the love they couldn’t pretend away the instant the opportunity arises isn’t them being fickle, or toxic—it’s just them being young and clueless and trying to recover from young and clueless mistakes as maturely as possible. 

And believe it or not, their relationship has been handled very well by Riverdale. There are few other TV couples who’ve been as steady as A&V, and none of them are teen couples (in fact, the only ones that even come to mind out of all the shows I’ve ever seen are married and/or background couples, not main couples, because main characters’ relationships are always put through more drama). It is basically unheard of for a teen show’s protagonist and their primary love interest (who, incidentally, is also another main character) to only go through three breakups in three seasons. It is rarer still for each of those breakups to have a justifiable concern at its core, and rarest of all for the characters to take the mature and difficult let’s-be-friends approach rather than the easy and childish let’s-personally-attack-the-other approach. 

That is not a back-and-forth and/or toxic relationship. That is a fictional teenage relationship handled more maturely than many a fictional adult relationship, and that is good. 

Postscript to the rant: 

Veronica does not break up with Archie in 1x01, because they are not yet together. 

Veronica does not break up with Archie in 1x11, because they are not yet together. 

Archie does not break up with Veronica in 2x01; he’s telling her he wants her to leave because he’s upset and lashing out. 

Archie does not break up with Veronica in 3x01, he just tries to soldier-heading-off-to-war her because he loves her too much to want her to waste her time waiting on him and Veronica refuses to agree to it because she loves him too much to back out because the going looks like it might get tough. 

I don’t know why all of these scenes are forever being cited as breakup scenes, but they are, and it’s so bafflingly incorrect that it makes me shudder. They’re not breakup scenes. End of story.

[leapingtitan]

Why don’t you like the dub?

If I was to answer this question in detail this post would be over 6k words long, so I’ll try to keep it somewhat short but still get my point across.

Papenbrook (Eren) and Nishimura (Mikasa) are the first point. Now, for the record, I don’t understand why Papenbrook gets the role of the “edgy protagonist” every time. Kirito, Shirou, and Eren... like, sure. Okay. My problem is with his performance alone. Season 1 wasn’t necessarily too bad, but since the start of Season 2 his lines are just cringy. Unlike Kaji Yuki who puts the energy and feeling into Eren’s character, Papenbrook’s logic is just “scream and sound emotional” without taking note of the context and the overall atmosphere of the scene he is voice acting for. And every time one of those emotional Eren scenes come up, he just sounds like he’s about to cry rather than deliver a feeling of rage and energy... which is sad. The same thing goes for Nishimura, who overdoes Mikasa’s lines (Unlike Papenbrook she’s been bad since Season 1 IMO).. Like, I legit can’t listen to those two talk for more than 10 minutes. And I hate it because I actually liked the dub in Season 1, at least back then. I don’t know why they went this way since Season 2.

The 2nd point is the script change. Now, when you make a translation, you make a translation. You don’t add in lines or change what the characters are saying, however Funimation goes way too far in completely paraphrasing the sentences in cringy quotes that get worse and worse every episode. I understand that Japanese is a language that is generally slow, and saying a simple sentence takes longer than saying it in English. So, point is they need to make the English line be as long as the Japanese one duration-wise, so the mouth movements don’t look off. And that’s fine, however there is quite a lot of scenes where this is ridiculous. Like, they paraphrase the lines to the point of them sounding weird as in no one would use that sentence structure in real life. Normally I would understand, but fact is other dubs like OPM or KLK don’t have this problem. In OPM’s case the lines are mostly 1:1 with the sub/manga, and it’s perfectly timed.

Last point is Matt Mercer. At the start of Season 1, a lot of people (mostly the Levi fans) were dissapointed, others were happy. I was fine with Mercer and although he was very different from Kamiya I still think he nailed Levi’s character regardless. However, after watching the Season 3 premiere.. what happened? His voice sounds so... weak, almost going into the issue I have with Papenbrook and Nishimura. The “Nifa!” one was a joke. I had to go back and listen to it like 3 times because I legit thought my speaker glitched or something. The “KENNY!” was good, but his normal lines such as his monologue before Kenny attacks are very weak and sound nothing like the type of character Mercer made in Season 1. Now, I still don’t have anything against Mercer as he’s one of my favorite voice actors period, but like.. what happened?

Honestly the script change is by far the worst. While we are on the subject, sometimes it completely fucks up the meaning and context of the scene. I can think of two instances. The first is Season 1 Episode 9 where Eren remembers Grisha giving him the injection. Grisha says “I’m going to give you a little something to forget for the time being”, like straight up implying that the syringe’s memory loss thing is on purpose and it’s the main point of it. Of course during Season 1 this wasn’t an issue but listening to that right now it sounds so wrong. The 2nd instance is in Season 2 Episode 6. When Armin, Eren and Reiner are talking about how Reiner avoided death until now, Reiner is like “This has happened before. Remember when that Titan almost crushed me in its hand?” (Referring to Annie in Season 1). Well, in the dub he says “Remember when Annie almost crushed me in her hand?”

Like

What in the actual fuck is wrong with.. what

The whole point of that scene and conversation was to not talk to Reiner and Bertolt about Annie and give anything away that they may suspect them of being Titans. Reiner and Bertolt weren’t in Stohess and had no idea that Annie was discovered as the Female Titan, like that was the whole point of the fucking mission. And in the dub Reiner straight up reveals that the Female Titan is Annie. How would he know that? Exactly, he wouldn’t... that scene is a result of the dub once again fucking up, but this time more so than just cringy voice acting and lines.

Honestly if there’s one positive thing I can think of in the dub it’s Ymir, Connie, Erwin and Levi before Season 3. I had no problems with those and I think Erwin’s voice is one of the best Sub to Dub transitions in anime I’ve ever seen. Though... you can’t just have one good character and completely fuck up the rest dub-wise. I’m scared what Liebrecht will do with Zeke, honestly. Parsons as Kenny is good so far, though I need to hear more to draw a conclusion.

Overall, that would be it. I can’t recall the last time I watched an entire dubbed episode. These days I just go check out a scene to see if it’s good or how much they fucked it up.. either one.

[bakgos]

@pontevoix​ said : please don’t go from u know whomst  | send “PLEASE DON’T GO” to hold my muse while they die. | no longer accepting.

          KATSUKI’S ALWAYS DESPISED HOSPITALS. the lights were always too blinding & caused headaches if you looked at them for even a second too long. they always smelled of bodily fluids or an especially strong cleaning solution , or sometimes both. there’s a stigma surrounding hospitals that breeds truth to the saying those who go in , usually don’t come out. katsuki’s used that phrase a number of times when having to be admitted to a hospital , before he enrolled in yuuei , & was granted the blessing of recovery girl , who’s quirk made most civilian heavy hospitals seem like a child’s medical play set. 

          katsuki has every right to hate hospitals as much as he does. 

          the first time he coded , mitsuki was asleep. it was the only ounce of any rest she’d claimed , a mere 30 minutes after sleep evaded her for days. she’d been on watchful duty of katsuki’s physical state , troubling herself with debating an intrusive thought of a lawsuit against yuuei for her son’s critical condition now that they were in the aftermath of that horrific war. a war that her son never should have been front runner on ⎯⎯ she understands the path he’s on , the road he’s chosen to walk , but if this was the cost? she’d sooner sign her own life away instead. the doctors & nurses were able to shock him back into stable numbers , but this was already too much. 

          katsuki’s memory is foggy when he finally awakens. the migraine that wracks through his head forces a groan from between chapped lips & in an instant , mitsuki’s at his side. spiky blonde crown barely shifts against the pillow as he goes to meet her gaze & his chest instantly tightens. god , she looks exhausted. he can tell it’s worse than her normal insomniac episodes , because her bags have bags have bags & her skin isn’t nearly as dewy as it normally is ( he ponders on telling her that ⎯⎯ wonders if she’d gift him a little bit of her old self ). 

          ‘ you look like shit. ‘ katsuki’s voice is hoarse & barely above a whisper , but he’s cognizant & coherent , & that’s more than mitsuki could ask for. 

          ‘ so do you. ‘ she returns & there’s finally a familiar warmth that blossoms between them. when her hand reaches down into the bed to grip unto katsuki’s , he delivers her a tiny squeeze & for the first time in a duration longer than he can recall , he thinks he smiles at her , just the smallest bit. 

          they talk together for what feels like hours. by the time the first half hour hit , masaru had returned with a nurse to check up on katsuki’s vitals & he was cleared with good numbers. katsuki can read the expression upon his mother’s visage clear as day & before she can even conceptualize what she wanted to say in her head , katsuki’s already a step ahead of her. 

          ‘ don’t even fuckin’ start with me , ma. . s’not happenin’. i know , a’right? ⎯⎯ i get it . . what happened to me doesn’t change a thing. i’m still gonna become the top hero , got it? ‘ in his heart , he doesn’t want to believe that she would ask him to set forth towards another dream , so he nips any potential wavering in the bud. he doesn’t HAVE another dream. he doesn’t have any other goals for a career , for the livelihood he wants to thrive off of , there is no other choice for katsuki to make. he is the lion - hearted boy who puts his everything into being a hero. there has never been room for doubt in his mind & even now , as he rests beside his worrying parents stationed next to his hospital bed , there isn’t a single iota of desire to change what he’s been working so hard to gain. 

          but then , his mind goes blank. flashes between light & darkness steal the reigns of his vision & katsuki’s entire body convulses like a man possessed , foam bubbling at the slit of his lips. mitsuki jumps from her chair , crying out for nurses & doctors to come back , to HELP HER SON , SOMETHING’S WRONG! within seconds , bodies are flying around katsuki’s bedside , a defibrillator charged & ready for action set next to his still trembling frame. loud beeps & whirls from the machine scream about katsuki’s fading life & once masaru tears mitsuki away from her boy , a doctor administers a shock to katsuki’s chest. 

          CLEAR.

          no change. higher voltage. 

          CLEAR. 

          no change , try again. 

          CLEAR.

          nothing. the cacophony of warning signs descend into a single , harsh grim reaper’s note. there’s no other sound in the room for a long moment. not until mitsuki nearly climbs into bed with katsuki , collects half of his listless body in her arms & sobs out a ‘ please , don’t go. don’t go , baby , don’t go , don’t do this to me , please , baby , please ⎯⎯ ‘

          her sobs paint the room into a cumulative sorrow. masaru shakes by the bedside , knuckles pale by the vice grip upon the railing , droplets soaking the floor beneath him. a couple of nurses join them in their tears. the doctor glances to the nearest nurse & with a heavy voice , says , ‘ bakugo , katsuki. time of death : 6:17pm. ‘

[thewildmother]

previously on wrath of the lich king

(session #whoknows i just started this thing so i could come back to refresh my memory before sessions ((p.s. this is a homebrew dnd campaign set in azeroth so things might be weird, don’t @ me)))

with Leva’lyn, the eladrin necromancy wizard; Lucius Hellscar, the human oath paladin; Raksha, the tiefling trickster cleric; & Ulryn, the night elf old one warlock (controlled by me for the last two sessions due to scheduling problems)

TL:DR; the party heads to Stormglen to help defend it from the hordes of undead (they’re partly responsible for) and werewolves attacking it, Lucius unlocks the admin permissions on his Hellscar Tome, Leva’lyn discovers her ability to raise undead is useless in the area, and the party is successful in their attempt to Hallow the entirety of the village.

The party decides to make use of their wizard’s ability to cast the Sending spell and contact an old acquaintance, Two-Shot Turner, a man they’d previously met in Stormglen defending the village from the undead with a company of Hellscars under his command 

Hellscars = a faction of people who pledged themselves to the name so that they could fight the undead together, have been for a long time. They’ve been in Stormglen for almost the entirety of its time suffering under these attacks. Most of these Hellscars are paladins, though there are a mix of other classes and things within. Hellscar Tome = a tome that empowers a paladin’s auras, and [after being unlocked] to a member of The New Dawn can detail another Hellscar’s name, parents’ and siblings’ names and life status.

Some number of sessions previous to this; Leva’lyn and Ulryn were conscripted into the Hellscars after learning that doing so would empower Lucius’s abilities. The 3 of them (along with others whose names could not be accessed at the time) were under the special title of The New Dawn, a group of people supposed to create the first Council after defeating the undead scourge who would replace the monarchy. 

Oh and when Leva’lyn signed this Tome to join the Hellscars, for a few moments the entire room faded to darkness and stars glittered around them before returning to normal, nbd. After this joining it was revealed that while Leva’lyn could not, Lucius could read Lev’s page within the Hellscar Tome and he learned what she was and who her true parents were -- when he tries to share this information with her, he instead chokes up fire and is silently chided by a burning figure within his mind.

Through her Sending spell, Leva’lyn learns that since the last time the party was in the village, the undead hordes were able to advance on the village because of *** and they are holed up with the remaining survivors inside the village’s tavern/inn.

*** = The party originally were sent to Stormglen by Sylvanas Windrunner, to fulfill a deal between them that she would provide forces to their army against the Lich King if they traveled to the village and rescued one of her val’kyr that had been taken because she held a certain curse within her that could be used. The party finds this val’kyr being drained of blood that is being used to fuel hallow’d runes that ward off the undead -- the party comes to the decision to take the val’kyr, flee the mad scientist trope of a man who’s been using their blood and send a warning to the other’s in the village of what’s to come. (80% sure this warning was lost in the middle of a shopping episode and class swap by Leva’lyn.) That mad scientist informed Two-Shot what happened, etc etc.

After making a to-do list of plans and setting a deadline of when they’d have to leave to meet with Malfurion Stormrage, the party makes their way to Stormglen. At the gates they dispatch a small amount of undead and are greeted by fellow Hellscars who inform them that Two-Shot is on patrol and they don’t know how to reach him. The party heads to the tavern and Leva’lyn makes use of Sending to inform the man that they have arrived and are waiting for him within the tavern.

Two-Shot shows up minutes later and aims his shotgun directly into Lucius’ face and asks for a reason he shouldn’t pull the trigger for what they did. Raksha leaves the tavern to aid the local blacksmith in repairing Hellscar weapons with her Mending, too new to the party to track their following conversations. [After a show of too much posturing and dramatics for Leva’lyn’s taste-] The man finally relents and speaks to them about the state of things, over the next few minutes they establish a plan to clear their path through to the middle of the village to establish a better foothold within. 

During this conversation, Leva’lyn puzzles together that Two-Shot’s mood is more than just having to deal with extra work -- she recalls his daughter had been affected by the same curse of the val’kyr, and states aloud her conclusion that the man’s daughter, Elizabeth, was now the one being used to fuel the hallow’d runes at each barricade in the village. Two-Shot does not deny this and grudges on.

Before the party and Two-Shot part ways for the time being, the man is given time with the Hellscar Tome because Lucius believes he can unlock any withheld access to it. Two-Shot is overheard by Lev cursing and arguing with the sentient imp within the book, and he emerges minutes later with clear signs of crying-- but the book unlocked. 

Lucius and Leva’lyn emerge from the tavern to find Raksha well into the groove of helping the blacksmith repair things for the Hellscars, as well as providing them much needed water. Lucius sits nearby while Leva’lyn enters a nearby tower [newly attached to the tavern] and climbs its steps until she reaches the floor where Elizabeth is being kept, allowed a glimpse behind the glamour placed on her to see that she is nearly skeletal in complexion and “not doing well”. 

Those months ago when the party had been in Stormglen before, Leva’lyn had spent time with Elizabeth and her guardian dragonborn Zereithia. It wasn’t long but she was treated kindly, Elizabeth was a strong-willed woman and Zereithia had then revealed to Leva’lyn her magic had been blocked by a divine power.

Feeling upset and like she owed both Elizabeth and the people of this village something, Leva’lyn returns to her party in a rush and proposes that they Hallow the village so it will be clear of undead (and the hallow’d runes will no longer be necessary). The party agrees.

Out of game -- our DM has just recently introduced to us the new addition of a Heroic Ability he wants to testrun for flavor and reward to a party’s creativity. The party only has access to 1 heroic action, and it will be recharged by future acts of the party working together creatively or... well, heroically? It’s a new thing, it’s all a testrun leave me be. But this Heroic Ability empowers the action being taken when invoked, IE: Turning an attack into an insta-crit to defeat a weakened enemy, expanding the duration of a Teleportation Circle, or the radius of a Fireball. It’s basically the Cinematic version of an action.

In this case the party all agrees to “Cinematic” Hallow the village, with the DM’s permission, so that it will cover the entirety of the village.

Before anything else, Lucius takes a few minutes to sit with his steed and look into the pages he’s unlocked within the Hellscar Tome. Leva’lyn crouches behind him while he does, noting all that they read. 

They discover that The New Dawn consists of 8 people, including themselves, and they are all alive except for one -- Jack Turner, son of Two-Shot and brother to Elizabeth, who is a member as well. They figure this to be the reason Two-Shot was in tears before when he unlocked the Tome for Lucius.

Lucius learns that his true name is not Lucius, and attempts to puzzle out which name he is on this list to no avail. 

Leva’lyn requests they view her page in hopes of getting to see who her birth father is; to Lucius the page reveals the information clearly like any other member of The New Dawn, Leva’lyn only sees darkened pages with glittering stars that enrages her.

Raksha joins the Hellscars after watching Lucius and Leva’lyn read, then uses it to learn the names of her parents before quickly slamming it shut and moving on.

The party sticks with their original plan of clearing a path to further their foothold in the village, but with the addition of stopping when they’ve reached the Stables in the middle of the village so that Raksha can perform her Hallow ritual from there and encompass the village. Lucius requests aid from the Hellscars to cleanse the village, and with a failed Persuasion roll they are given only 2 Hellscars to help them -- a previously discovered paladin who despises tieflings named Dave (not a great relationship with Raksha for obvs reasons), and another perfectly nice paladin named Duncan.

The Hallow ritual will take 12 hours to cast, and after some undead whack-a-mole the party sets up a defense around the Stables while Raksha starts her casting. The party fights numerous waves of zombies, feral werewolves and spectres before realizing they were coming up on their final one. The party sends Duncan to request more aid, knowing that with each wave comes increasingly powerful entities and they may need more bodies -- Duncan does not return to the party, and Leva’lyn uses Sending once more to get in contact with the Hellscar bard, Gerard, who gave them Dave and Duncan in the first place. She requests more men and Gerard responds by saying he will do what he can, but (the ritual seems to be working because) undead are advancing on the village from within the marketplace and the Hellscars are busy defending. Duncan does not return, and instead 2 new Hellscars arrive in time for the final wave. 

It’s during these waves that the party discovers that on these lands, undead cannot be controlled and any feral creature cannot be dominated. This was learned the hard way by Leva’lyn casting a 4th-level Animate Dead, only to have her creations turn on her seconds after being raised.

The final wave consists of many ghosts and one Banshee, that manages to knock the party warlock unconscious. She is quickly healed by Lucius. Leva’lyn recognizes the Banshee as a noblewoman who she had previously met during the party’s first visit to Stormglen; Grenda Lithewood, the epitome of the stuck-up noble, who offered the party a reward if they brought ships for the nobles to escape on. (This deal was declined, having learned the nobles were bullying village folk out of their provisions and homes.)

The Banshee is defeated, and the Hallow ritual is successfully completed without any causalities. ...Well, at least near the Stables. The party decides on the following effects to affect the village: Courage, [Necrotic] Energy Protection, and Everlasting Rest. The party takes a quick group hug to celebrate, and then Raksha declares she needs to go find somewhere to pass out.

& that’s the end of a 3-session quest, with the party leveling up to 10! We hope Duncan found his donuts and didn’t get eaten by a zambo.

[alexisbundy1-blog]

[this post is just for kicks]

ok so i have a playlist called junior (go follow it) that contains almost all the songs i have discovered this year. here are some of my favourites:

“Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)” - Kate Bush I first discovered Kate Bush the summer before freshman year. I don’t remember how, but it most definitely links back to having the knowledge that she had a song entitled “Wuthering Heights.” (Sound familiar?) Afterwards, the words “Kate Bush” became a part of my music vocabulary. Did you know she wrote “Wuthering Heights” at 18 years old, became the first woman to ever have a number-one hit in the UK, AND was only 19 when the song hit the charts? When I’m 19, my biggest accomplishment will be doing my own laundry. ANYWAY - so after two years of being a Kate Bush fan, I noticed that her acclaimed album Hounds of Love was finally on Spotify and decided to give it a listen. Her artist page showed that this one song was one of her most popular, so I gave it a go. Not to be hyperbolic, but this song rocked my world. I mean, I knew Kate Bush was one of the coolest people ever, but this song just took her radness to a new level. The synths, the power of her vocals, the lyrics, the video(!!!). Kate Bush is just a tour de force. I love her, and so should you. And also she should have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. Just saying.

“Personal Jesus” - Depeche Mode So technically I first heard this song over the summer but...who cares...I was technically a junior. First of all, this song goes HARD. Between the bassline and the sporadic interjections of synth, “Personal Jesus” is just simply a tune. It makes you feel badass, even if the lyrics don’t really align with that feeling, and I wish I could provide some more persuasive evidence as to why it’s so good, but you have to listen to it yourself. It’s just...a tune. That’s all.

“Edge of Seventeen” - Stevie Nicks Okay so I’m relatively embarrassed to say that I only heard this song in July...and it initially struck me because it shared the same bassline as a Destiny’s Child song...sorry, Stevie. But it’s such a good song!!!! Fun fact: the title comes from a discussion Stevie had with the late, great Tom Petty’s wife, who said she had been in love with Tom since she was the age of seventeen; however, she had a southern drawl, so it sounded as though she was saying “edge of seventeen.” And the rest is history. And you should listen to this song if you haven’t already. Another badass song with a wobbling bassline and cool female vocals.

“Praying” - Kesha No offense to Madison, but I’ve been the Kesha fan from day one. Don’t even @ me. Like, Kesha posters everywhere in my room, buying Kesha albums in secret (my mother wasn’t a fan), knowing all the words to her songs - the works. So when Kesha released this TUNE in late July/August, not only was the world shook - I was so shaken. I was like, “Is this Miss Ke-dollar sign-ha???? Is this Kesha Rose Sebert???” First of all, I was literally in pieces when Kesha’s court case ruling came out, and then she dropped this song and I was like “Adios.” I always knew Kesha was a ~talented songstress~ but her vocals on this song...I cry every time. WHY DIDN’T IT WIN A GRAMMY.

“God Bless America - and All the Beautiful Women In It” - Lana Del Rey No offense....but Lana Del Rey dropped the best album of the year (tied w/ DAMN. again don’t @ me) and it is also the best album of her career. There are a lot of fabulous songs on this album but this is my favourite. It’s so subtly political yet so ethereal. The vocals and guitar on this song just soar. I love Lana so much <3

basically Dua Lipa’s whole debut album - Dua Lipa I’ve been a Dua fan since summer 2016 and when she dropped this album she also drop-kicked me to another planet. Prior to the album’s release, she released hit after hit and I was over here like “Thank u Dua for blessing us with ur killer vocals and ur mega tunes” and THEN she had the AUDACITY to just rock my world with this album. Is it Dark Side of the Moon? No. Is it still a great pop album?? Yes. And do the songs go hard?? They go hard. No offense but every song on this album - even the bad ones (*cough* “Room for 2″) - are better than “Shape of You” and YET who won the Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Performance?? Not Dua Lipa the true winner. Anyway if you have a chance just listen to the whole album. My favourite songs are-jk I love them all. Except for “Room for 2″ just ignore that one.

“Bodak Yellow” - Cardi B ....do i really need to speak on this one...

“Go Gina” - SZA I am still so offended that the Recording Academy snubbed SZA’s debut album but WHATEVER IT’S FINE. This song is about halfway through the album, and it serves as a slight interlude. But it’s my favourite. It’s succinct, it’s gorgeous, it references Martin. SZA is so talented and deserves the world.

“Raspberry Beret” - Prince I first heard this song on the last episode of She’s Gotta Have It, the TV reincarnation of the Spike Lee film. I was a Prince fan, but this song just gave me a new respect for him. It’s not necessarily in the lyrics, but the music is just insane. There’s a combination of Prince’s signature guitar-and-synth combo, but then there’s a harmonica-type instrument as well that ties into Prince’s ventures to an abandoned farm/barn. This is a good memory of Prince. 

“Best Friend” - Sofi Tukker Can I just say...this song deserves better. I know a lot of people have heard it in iPhone ads and whatnot, but Sofi Tukker is just such an amazing group and this was the first song I heard by them and they are so talented. This song just truly goes hard. I’m upset I don’t hear it more often. The wobble of such a strong bassline adds so much energy to an already enthusiastic song. It’s a great mainstream introduction to Sofi Tukker.

the entire Black Panther soundtrack again...do i really need to speak on this....

every song on the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack but especially the Sufjan Stevens songs ok so it’s common knowledge that this movie has damaged me forever, but you know what else damaged me? the soundtrack. who else gets away with intertwining classical piano music and euro eighties hits and sufjan stevens songs? no one except for luca guadagnino. so let’s briefly discuss,,,,first of all i had actually never listened to a psychedelic furs song before and i feel like that’s embarrassing especially for me so “love my way” was just such a wow moment for me. great pop song with great lyrics that truly pertain to the movie. excellent choice. also my new favourite song “paris latino” by bandolero is just so campy and european and eighties. what a tune. and the opening song, “hallelujah junction” by john adams, is just so gorgeous. it’s such a fabulous opener. now lets talk about sufjan stevens....we’re first introduced to his music in the movie with a remix of his song “futile devices.” this remix is so ethereal and stunning; it fits so perfectly within the movie. then there’s the happy little ditty “mystery of love” that basically should have won the oscar but then i saw coco and “remember me” made me cry so i wasn’t too mad. not much to say about this one because it speaks for itself. great song. now,,..,.,.,.”visions of gideon”.....,.,.,this song is so offensive. every time i listen to it i want to sit in front of a fire place for the whole duration of the song and CRY over my lover who is getting married and teaches at columbia. it’s so delicate and haunting. it just makes me cry.

“Lemon” - N.E.R.D & Rihanna idk about you guys but i heard this on the radio like once and i was so offended by how little airplay it received because this song is just so amazing. like pharrell + rihanna = modern musical genius. this was all the world needed. 

“This is America” - Childish Gambino I know literally the entire population of Earth is talking about this song but I think the visuals are the more intriguing part (obviously). Like on its own, the song is great, but the music video adds way more to it, in my opinion. As it has been said numerous times, you really have to watch the video multiple times to catch everything, but it’s such a stunning video that really forces you to think and comprehend everything going on. Props to you, Donald Glover. Even though you have been slightly problematic in the past.

so obviously i could have like a gazillion songs listed here but a) some of them are hard to explain b) i don’t want to offend anyone and c) i tried to make it seem like my taste in music is both good and slightly mainstream so people can #relate. i also discovered a lot of bruce springsteen within this period and i am proud of myself for doing so. okay, well i hope it’s noted that i did this just for fun and would obviously not like to be graded on it i just kind of wanted to have something to reflect on the year! unlike my actual blog post for this month. and i just wanted to have a platform to talk about music and get people to listen to my playlist. ok see you!! go read my real blog post!!